#also taking my morning med. I haven’t done that yet I need to eat *stares into camera* to take my meds gahhhh I hate having a human form an

[milo-is-rambling]

Weight talk tw I guess idk how to describe the post sorry im a little high

It’s so weird being around people who talk about weight problems (IOP) and like idk it brings up weird shit in my brain almost anxiety that I should feel bad about myself somehow like I’m doing this wrong being confident idk. Weird self doubt thing that happens when you’ve loved yourself (hmm. Rephrase. I don’t care about being fat. let’s say that.) and then you’re in a room full of people having a group discussion about how they avoid living their life in happy ways because they don’t want to become like you. But you love yourself. But everyone in your life since you were little has been dieting and talking about weight and specific numbers (someone was anxious about gaining seven pounds! SEVEN. If they saw my scale they would shit themselves. I put on seven pounds taking a big bong rip Jesus fucking Christ seven pounds. I wanted to rip my hair out.)

Next time weight issues come up in IOP I’m stepping out of the room. Like idk how to explain it cause it’s like not a trigger but I guess it is ? But it’s just so weird like the way I’m triggered makes me want to cry why does the world hate me for being fat what the fuck !!!!

[angelaiswriting]

The Contest (6 of 7) | some R6S guys x fem!reader

✏️ Pairing: Jäger x fem!reader

✏️ Summary: Dominic Brunsmeier can’t keep his goddamn mouth shut when it comes to eating pussy, and that’s how Y/N finds herself being drafted to be the judge of this pussy-eating contest. (Straight out of a dream @kind-wolf​ had)

✏️ A/N: I’m not entirely satisfied with this part, it was somehow the hardest to write so far, but hopefully you’ll enjoy it! 💛 I also kind of hurt my hand yesterday and it has slowed me down a bit, and since I haven’t started working on the very last part of this fic yet, I’m not sure there’ll be an update on Sunday. Fingers crossed that I’ll manage to write, but just in case, you've been warned 😅

✏️ Warnings: 18+ only (oral f/r, fingering)

✏️ Word-count: 2,897

✏️ The links to the other parts are in the masterlist linked in my bio.

<< part five: dominic <<  |  PART SIX: MARIUS  |  >> part seven: the winner >>

Marius had managed to come back three days after Dominic’s turn and while he would have preferred to remain on-site with the other operators on the team, Six had called him back to report. After that, Dominic had marched him down to the dorm sector of the Base and had dropped him into Y/N’s hands.

Be quick. The guys and I are tired of waiting, he had half-joked before jogging back down the corridor and out of sight.

“I’m sorry,” Marius said, looking away from her half-dressed form. “He was waiting for me outside Harry’s office and he brought me straight here.”

When her brain started working again after the surprise she had just been presented with, she gasped out glad a cuss word at Dominic. “Oh fuck, you’re still in your uniform! Did he drag you here right after you came back from your mission?”

He shrugged, a hand coming up to give the back of his neck a brief massage before he rolled his shoulders back. “Yeah, I’m sorry.”

“Were the others in on this?”

He looked away for a moment and she knew, then and there, that despite the fact that he was most likely tired out of his mind, he was still down to lie for his friends. But eventually, when he answered with a vague and unfinished Yeah, no, they…, she scoffed.

“I should kick them out of this stupid contest,” she groaned. She let the t-shirt she had had in her hands when Dominic had swung the door of her dorm open drop on the bed and she walked up to the man in her room. “You’ve just come back,” she repeated. “Have you showered yet?”

When he shook his head no in response, she took his hand in hers and led him into the bathroom.

“You don’t have to do anything tonight if you don’t want to,” she told him, “but maybe a shower will do you good anyway.”

There was no need to ask him if he was tired: she just knew he was. She had been on missions as well and she knew how tough it could get when the adrenaline left your system. The tiredness and the soreness caught up — and sometimes even your mind would start wandering.

He turned her around when she turned on the water so that it could warm up for him and when they were facing each other, he pulled her into an unexpected hug.

Marius was a respectful man, he had always been. While Elias had always glanced at her quite a few times, he always respected Dominic — and while she wasn’t Dominic’s, or not exactly at least, he had never done anything that could have been even remotely misinterpreted. And although they had been brought closer by that silly game they were playing, he had never so much as hugged her before.

“Are you okay?” she asked.

He inhaled deeply, his face buried into the crook of her neck, and when one of her hands came up to cradle the back of his head, she felt him shiver. “Thank you,” he muttered eventually. He was smiling a tired smile when he pulled back, a playful I’m starting to see why he’s so into you leaving his lips. “However, if you’re okay with proceeding, I won’t say no. The quicker we get this over with, the quicker those motherfuckers will stop pestering me.”

Her chuckle made his smile broaden that tad bit more that his teeth were visible for a moment. But then her smirk turned mischievous and her hands moved up his chest. “We’ll make him pay for playing this card on you.”

She pushed his jacket down his shoulders and as she bent down to pick it up and bring it back into her room to hang it on the back of a chair, he got out of his shoes.

“I can shower you if you want,” she proposed when she reached him again. He was halfway into taking off his shirt and she noticed the purple bruise peeking from underneath the cotton.

“But you said…”

“To hell with what I said.” She knew the rules didn’t allow for them to be naked, but she wasn’t going to ask him to kneel down between her legs, not when he had just come back from a mission. “Yes or no?”

It took him a few moments to say yes, and she knew it was out of respect for his friend. But when he caved in and let his shirt drop to the floor, she walked away from the door frame she had been leaning against and moved to stand in front of him. Her eyes met his when her hands moved over the button of his pants and he gave her a curt nod of his head before she finally proceeded.

“What happened to your back?” she asked, this time not looking at him as she kneeled before him to drag his pants down his legs.

She had seen the nasty blue-ish bruise on his left pectoral, but didn’t bring it up. Bruises were part of the package with their job, but they still had a weird effect on her when they were on someone she cared about.

“Fell down a story,” he answered vaguely as he held onto her shoulders to step out of his clothes. “Nothing to worry about too much.”

“Did you get yourself checked in the med bay?” She had taken his socks off and had stood up again. And as her fingers hooked underneath the waistband of his boxers and she stared into his eyes, she saw that spark of almost guilt flash across his face. “Dom will have an earful in the morning,” she groaned to herself as she pushed his underwear to the floor. “Now get in,” was the order she gave as her hands came up to unclasp her bra. “I’ll be there in a second.”

The shower felt asphyxiatingly confining when she stepped in behind Marius. Private bathrooms on the Base tended to be smaller than the rest when you didn’t share a room with someone else, and never before that night had she consciously understood what that meant.

“At least neither of us is going to slip and fall,” Marius chuckled, turning to face the sidewall of the cubicle so that they could have a little more space.

She let out a chuckle of her own as her hands slid up his bruised back, careful not to press too hard into his tense muscles. “How did the mission go?” she asked eventually when she started soaping him up.

“The usual,” he shrugged. Before he could continue, her thumbs dug into the flash of his shoulders and he hissed. “The guys needed last-minute help securing the objective.” He groaned again when she started massaging his shoulders and the back of his neck and before long, he was leaning his forehead against the tiled wall.

“They called you back quickly, though,” she pointed out. She was doing her best to work some of the knots in his muscles, but it proved to be a hard feat in the confined space of the shower. “That’s good?” It left her lips more like a question and although a last-minute call to leave on a mission was always a pain in the ass, she couldn’t help but wonder how things had gone.

“Yeah, no, everybody’s fine.” She didn’t miss his relieved exhale when her hands pressed down along his spine, where bruises didn’t mark his skin. “The mission has been completed, they just had a few things to do before coming back.”

It turned quiet after that and although he muttered a sorry at his half-erection when he turned around, the atmosphere in the bathroom was peaceful and relaxed. She finished soaping him up, humming quietly under her breath, and after she was done washing him, he surprised her by making her turn around to face the wall she had been with her back towards.

His hands were soft on her skin and much like she had done just minutes ago, he worked on her tense shoulders as they made small talk. She told him about the endless days at the base, and he told her some details about his mission, funny stuff the operators he had been working with had said. By the time his thumbs started their descent down her spine, her mind seemed to be peacefully swimming as her eyes closed in relaxation.

“You’re better at this than I am,” she joked when her brain managed to make her tongue work again. Her head tilted back against him of its own accord and although she did feel him painfully hard against her back for a moment, he was quick to move back.

She gave him his time when she stepped out of the shower a minute or two later. She quickly slipped into her toweling robe, left a towel on the sink for him, and slipped out of the bathroom in silence as she closed the door behind his back.

She had tried not to look — she really had, out of respect for the contest’s rules, the other guys and most of all, her quickly dying resolve not to cheat. But she had had a glimpse of his cock — long and slightly arched — and she had felt it brush against her butt when he had abruptly turned around. So, when she eventually laid down on her bed, she couldn’t help her hand from traveling down her body and stopping between her legs as she listened in on Marius’ soft grunts coming from the bathroom.

She was wet, and it had very little to do with her skin still being slightly damp from the shower she had just walked out of. Her middle finger slid between her folds, the fingertip teasing her entrance, and a light moan left her lips. For a moment, she realized that this was how Dominic might feel — wanting her without being able to have her just yet — but she didn’t have long to ponder that thought and play with herself, because the door of the bathroom opened and Marius stopped in his tracks at the sight of her, her legs spread open, a hand between them, and the bathrobe barely concealing her upper body.

“Look at you.” The smirk that stretched on his lips made the skin of her face burn and although her hands itched to come up and cover her face, she kept them where they were — one on her abdomen and the other with a finger half-way inside her pussy. “What do you think you’re doing?”

It made a shiver run down her spine — how rough his voice sounded, the way he was staring at her, right between her legs.

He stalked towards the bed and when he stopped at the foot of it, he leaned forward to take her hand from between her thighs. The fingers of his right hand brushed against her pussy and his left brought her hand to his lips before he sucked her middle finger clean. She almost gasped at the soft grunt he let out and although she could feel her face on fire, she couldn’t take her eyes off of his.

“I almost kneeled in that shower,” he confessed when he let her hand go. He pulled her closer to the edge of the bed by her ankles and his hands slid up her bare legs before he pulled the string of her robe open. “Did the others take you there?”

She shook her head and although she had been on the verge of squeezing her thighs together under the intensity of his gaze, she found herself simply smirking when he started kissing his way up her legs.

“I should’ve aimed for those extra points then.”

A chuckle was all she managed to consciously let out before he licked a stripe between her folds and groaned at the taste of her before he kissed up her lower belly and abdomen.

The stubble he hadn’t had the time to shave grazed her skin, forcing goosebumps in its wake. It still felt nice — she was used to a whole different level of beard burn anyway — and all she could do was relax against the mattress as his lips made their way to her nipples. He licked and suckled, and although he was pouring his all into it, she felt how tired he was in the way his body was pressing down against hers.

“Marius,” she called, fingernails gently scratching his scalp before she tugged on his hair to prompt him up. “Lie down, I’ll sit on your face.”

He smiled at her — and there was a faint spark of mischief in his eyes when he looked at her right before he let himself plop down on the bed next to hers. He seemed to pour his thank you in the way he caressed the side of her face when she turned her head to look at him, and a little even in the way he moved strands of hair behind her ear. “If I weren’t this tired, I’d surely win,” he smirked, pulling a chuckle out of her. “But I can still give you a good time anyway.” He shrugged his shoulders and fully turned to lie down on his back and as he did so, she couldn’t help but notice the flaps of his towel opening a little, almost as though to tempt her and remind her how much into a dick-fucking mood she was.

When she straddled his face and glanced down at him, her hands firmly holding onto the metal headboard of her bed, she found him grinning up at her like a child on Christmas day. His hands slid up her thighs and his fingertips pressed into her flesh, and when she hesitated for a moment, he pressed his face into her inner thigh and groaned deep in his chest.

“C’mon, let me eat this pussy.” And for good measure, he gave her ass a playful slap that made her jolt.

She chuckled at that, and deciding on having some mercy on him and his post-mission state, she hastily took off her robe, threw it to the side, and allowed him to lower her down onto his face.

He inhaled deeply before diving in, and his tongue on her drew a gasp from her lips. He licked at her, used both his thumbs to spread her labia for better access.

“I tried not to think of you in the shower,” he confessed just as her left hand moved over her left boob and teased the nipple. “But you have a great ass and I…” His hand left another swat on her right butt cheek and her body leaned forward, a moan leaving her lips when his wrapped around her clit.

So you like ass, was what she managed to chuckle before his tongue dove into her and ate her out.

He was noisy — moaning and grunting, and overall most likely enjoying it just as much as she was — and his breath against her made her shiver. Her eyes were fixed on his hair and the hand that had just been holding onto her breast moved down, her fingers tangling in his wet hair. Her hips were rocking gently back and forth, and she could feel that unmistakable feeling starting to build up inside her.

It started off slowly, with his tongue dipping into her before licking forward, teasing her clit, and then it built up much more quickly when he slowly pushed two fingers inside her. Their pads massaged over that sensitive spot inside her and her breath grew heavier, and then quicker. And before long, her eyes were dropping closed and her lips parting as the last coherent thoughts left her mind and moans and whimpers slipped through her lips.

God, he’s good, was the last thought she had before her grip on his hair tightened.

He gave her clit a harsh suckle and she was gone, her head thrown back as she gasped for air, no energy left in her to voice her orgasm. She wasn’t even aware of how tightly she was holding onto the headboard, just of his mouth and tongue on her — and of those two thick fingers still inside her.

“You good up there?” he asked eventually, turning his head to the side to leave a kiss on her shivering inner thigh.

She was staring at the ceiling, still panting lightly, the fingers of her left hand absentmindedly massaging his scalp. Her hips had stopped moving, but she was still out of breath and with the shocks of her orgasm still coursing through her. It felt amazing, though: her head felt completely empty and her whole body at peace.

“Yeah,” she exhaled eventually and when she managed to swallow, she tilted her head down and looked at him. “Yeah, I’m all good.”

“Need help letting go of the headboard?” His hands trailed up the back of her thighs and then her spine, before sliding back down and settling on the curve of her ass.

“I need help with a lot of things,” she chuckled, amused, “but this headboard is the last of my thoughts.”

Feedback is always welcome if you want to drop old me a line 💛

Original pic used: https://www.pexels.com/photo/white-clouds-and-blue-sky-4870972/

TAGS (to be added to or to be removed from any list, shoot me an ask)

Everything: @idhrenniel @saibh29 @fuckthatfeeling @aya-fay @pebblesz892  @mblaqgi​ @becs-bunker

[anotheronechicagobog]

Functional Dysfunction - Rheese - Chapter 1

written by @anotheronechicagobog​

A/N: This is a new series I’ve been trying to work on and I’m so happy that I’m finally done the first chapter! It’s IMPORTANT to note that this the fic I took a survey for a while back so; Sarah Reese has a double specialty of ED and Neuro. Also, it’s a bit AU so be prepared for that. 

Warnings: swearing, vomit, unplanned pregnancy, talk of abortion

The waiting room was a decent size, but she still felt small. Surrounded by medical diagrams and leather couches, and pregnant women, and pregnant women with children. She felt completely out of depth and she was finding it hard to breathe. Her tunnel vision was only broken when the nurse called her name. The older woman smiled at her obvious nerves and Sarah was instantly relieved, not because of the woman’s assuring demeanour, but because she knew that if she had gone to a doctor at MED instead of Planned Parenthood, she would have instead been met with shock, judgement, and awaiting a comment from Doris.

“Dr. Singh will be with you in a few minutes.”

“Thank you.”

So Sarah laid back on the examination table in the flimsy blue paper gown with her unmentionables in the breeze, because of course, Sarah found herself in a situation where she’d need a transvaginal ultrasound instead of a pap smear. She closed her eyes and counted to ten, trying to calm herself down.

“Ms. Reese?”

“Hi.”

“Hello, I’m Dr. Singh. You believe you’re pregnant?”

“Yes, I took two home tests, I’ve been nauseous but only between two and four in the afternoon and one and four in the morning, I missed my period, I’ve been fatigued, and my breasts have been sore. And it’s... Uh, it’s Dr. Reese, actually.”

“Okay, then. Are you in your residency?”

“Halfway through my second year.”

“So you know how this works then.”

“Yes.”

“Did you bring any support? We have counsellors and resources you can use. Your mental and emotional wellbeing is just as important as your physical health.”

“I’m fine. I just want to get the pregnancy confirmed and then book an abortion. I’m in my second year of residency, the father was a one night stand, and my main source of income comes from my mother who would not approve of me having a baby out of wedlock.”

“I completely understand. Med school was hard enough for me without pregnancy and then a baby. We’re still going to have a counsellor talk to you about it beforehand, make sure that you’re making the decision for you and not for anyone else.”

“Alright, I guess.”

“Well, let’s get started, shall we?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah was right, she was pregnant. She wasn’t surprised and it didn’t change how she felt. So when she walked into her next shift she didn’t expect a concerned Maggie to approach her. “Hey Sarah, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, Maggie, why? Did something happen that I don’t know about?”

“You’re pale, you haven’t been eating much lately, and you’ve been more tired lately. What’s going on Reese, are you sick? You can talk to Goodwin and she’ll give you time off.”

“I’m grateful that you’re worried about me Maggie, but I’m not sick or anything, I promise. It’s just stress.” Sarah tried and failed to tell herself that she wasn’t technically lying, but pushed that thought to the back of her mind and took in Maggie’s disbelieving demeanour.

“If you’re sure...”

“I am.” Maggie gave her a look that clearly said ‘I don’t think you’re telling the truth but your lie is plausible so I’m letting it go for now’ as she exited the doctor’s lounge, leaving Sarah alone. She took a deep breath as she put her stuff in her locker before grabbing a clean pair of scrubs. After she’d changed into them she looked into the full mirror of the dressing room, staring herself down. She willed against herself not to do it and lost. She turned to the side and placed her hands over her abdomen. She knew that the fetus inside of her was tiny, the size of a sesame seed, but... She didn’t know what she was doing, truthfully. So she shook her head and squared her shoulders before tying her hair back and walking up to the nurses’ station. “What have you got for me, Maggie?”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Andrew Pierson was seventeen and optimistic, something that both she and Rhodes admired. It made their daily rounds and checkups much easier. On most days they both went at the same time so that both departments were able to get first-hand results and to prevent miscommunication. The only problem was that they were always at 3:30 pm, smack dab in the one-hour afternoon window of Sarah’s ‘morning’ sickness. She did her best to quell it in advance; ginger tea, fresh air, mindful of what she’d had for lunch, and she was always drinking water. Sometimes though, like today, morning sickness couldn’t be quelled or repressed. She and Rhodes were discussing Andrew’s latest brain scan and what his injury meant for a valve replacement, when it reared its ugly head like never before. The bile was rising up her throat, fast and hot. She stopped talking in the middle of her sentence, drawing attention from her colleague and her patient. She didn’t register dropping her tablet. She darted into the adjoining bathroom and emptied the little liquid she had in her stomach. Even after it was all out she had to sit there dry-heaving. The burning discomfort in her throat didn’t bother her like it used to, and the painful twisting in her stomach annoyed her more than anything else at this point. When the hellish nausea finally passed she was able to register that she wasn’t alone. Rhodes stood behind her, holding her hair back for her. She turned to look at him and he clearly felt unbelievably awkward, like her, but she did see worry clearly on display behind his eyes. “What’s going on, Reese? You’ve been sick all week.” She hastily got on her feet, only for Rhodes to have to steady her when her balance wavered and mind spun from doing it too fast. After she was okay enough that Rhodes could let go, she warily made her way to the sink to rinse her mouth, only to find that there was some vomit on the edges of her lips and chin, only furthering her embarrassment as Rhodes tried to make eye contact in the mirror.

“It’s nothing-”

“Okay, stop. This is not nothing, you don’t think I’ve noticed how pale and nauseous you get every day? I may have my head wrapped around for too much but I’m not an idiot. Not to mention, you literally just dropped our patient’s brain scans to vomit. You are not fine, actually, you know what? Let’s just go down to the ED, get you checked out-”

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Reese, these are continual symptoms, they could be the sign of-”

“I’m pregnant.”

“... Oh.” Sarah bit out harshly, turned the water off, and left the bathroom, leaving Rhodes standing by the toilet, as she blinked back tears. The look in his eyes, the acknowledgement, the pity. She picked up her, thankfully undamaged tablet, as a demure Dr. Rhodes came to stand beside her again. “I’m very sorry Mr. Pierson, I think I ate some bad sushi yesterday. Let’s just finish our appointment and then we can get you started on your new preparation plan so that you’re ready for surgery, okay?”

“Sounds good, and I hope you feel better soon, doc.”

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dr. Rhodes had spent the remainder of Andrew’s appointment standing beside her clearly shocked and somewhat muted. When they both left though, he steered her into the closest conference room he could find. “Are you okay?”

“Of course I am, now if you’ll excuse me I have other patients that need my care-”

“What about you? Who’s caring for you? You’ve been really sick, and although pregnancy explains it, it doesn’t change the fact that you have concerning symptoms or that Maggie is one bathroom trip away from admitting you into the hospital herself. Because I haven’t heard anything about you in any of the gossip I’m going to assume that you haven’t told many, if any at all, people here. So is there anyone who knows? Anyone who can help you out? And what about the father? I mean you’re pregnant, you’re going to have a baby. Have you spoken to Goodwin yet? She’ll work with everyone to make sure that you’ve got everything you need-”

“Okay, stop! No one knows and I want to keep it that way. I’m not... I’m getting an abortion. And I just...” Sarah took a deep breath as she blinked her tears away. Not now, not at work, not in front of Dr. Rhodes.

“Hey, hey, hey, it’s okay.” He stood there awkwardly, his arms hovering around her form, unsure of whether he should embrace her or not. Sarah shrugged his hand away and took a few controlled breaths. “I won’t tell anyone, but, does anybody know? And I don’t mean from work, I mean in general, do you have someone to talk to about this? Or take you to and from the procedure?”

“No but it’s fine, I’ll just call a cab after.”

“What if something goes wrong during the procedure, who are they going to call? You have to list an emergency contact.”

“I’ll be fine, everything will be fine.” Sarah took a steadying breath as she tried to quell her morning sickness, again, and stop her body from shaking. “Are you trying to reassure me? Or yourself?” Sarah honestly didn’t have an answer for that.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Sarah cursed herself constantly over the fifteen-minute drive it took to get to Molly’s. Not only did she reveal a pretty damning secret to one of the hospital’s top surgeons, but she hadn’t been able to get out of going to the bar with the rest of the ED staff. And since Molly’s was a firefighter bar, owned by a few members of the 51st firehouse, the father of her child was most likely going to be there. She sat in her car, trying not to let the dread fill her as she stared at the ornate door of what was now her least favourite bar, not that she enjoyed drinking enough to have a favourite. She took the seat next to Maggie and tried to join in on the laughter that was being shared amongst her colleagues. But she couldn’t, she felt hot and cold all over, her breathing was tense, her chest was constricted, and her smile didn’t quite meet her eyes. The fact that Jimmy Borrelli, the father of the unborn child inside of her that he didn’t even know about, was staring at her with familiar lust-filled eyes, and that Connor Rhodes, currently the only person who knew about her pregnancy, just entered and looked at her with a mix of shock, horror, and concern, did absolutely nothing to help with her stress or her pregnancy symptoms. Rhodes made his way over to the table with a guarded look on his face. “Hey guys, how about I get the next round?”

“You’re not new anymore Rhodes, we know you’re not a complete stuck up ass, you don’t have to keep trying to bribe us.”

“Thanks for your words of kindness, Halstead, but this isn’t bribery, this is me offering beer.”

“... Fair enough, man. I think we’re all up for it.”

“Great, hey Reese, would you mind helping me carry it all over?” The meaningful look Rhodes sent made it clear he was using this as an excuse to talk to her away from their co-workers. “Sure.” She tried to sound chipper as she hopped out of her seat, but her voice was tired and it cracked partway through the word. Rhodes visibly frowned and Sarah could feel the concerned stares from her co-workers. They walked to the counter and nodded at Hermann, ready to wait until he was available. “I know that you’re... ‘Cancelling your subscription’,” he spoke lowly, mindful of all the ears around them and how fast gossip flourished among the groups present, “but you still, you know, have it. Should you be drinking?”

“I’m not. I’ve missed too many get-togethers and because of my, uh ‘binge-watching’. People, Maggie in particular are getting suspicious. And honestly, even though I’m ‘cancelling my subscription’, I can’t bring myself to do anything to harm... You know. I, uh, I don’t even drink, really.”

“Yeah, I know. Is there anything else I can get you, then?” Sarah shook her head even though her stomach had turned on her and was eating itself. The bodily organ betrayed her, making an audible growl that could be heard above the music bursting out of the speaker directly above them and the loud mixture of conversations that made nearly everything inaudible. He raised his eyebrow as she scolded herself internally and tried to ignore the warmth creeping up to her cheeks at his bemused expression. “You sure about that? How about some food? I hear that Mills has taken up working the kitchen here, the food should be good.”

“The food is great! And I’m not just saying that because I own that place.” Sarah jumped at Hermann’s voice, not knowing he’d gotten back to them.

“Would you mind showing me a menu then, Hermann? I won’t turn down free food.” Sarah nodded her head at the man standing next to her with a slight smile on her face, feeling better than she had all day if she was being honest. “Oh, is the good doctor buying again?”

“Yes I am, which reminds me, three pitchers of Coors please, and-”

“Spaghetti and meatballs.”

“And spaghetti and meatballs, please.”

“You got it. Here’s your beer, glasses for everyone, and your food’ll be brought over to you when it’s done.”

“Great.”

“And Reese?”

“Yeah?”

“Give us a good review, will ya? We could use all the help we can get to gain some traction for the kitchen.”

“You got it.”

Sarah eyed the tower of glasses she had in her right hand, concentrating far more than necessary if she was being honest, to make sure that she didn’t drop them. When Sarah set the glasses and full pitcher down she took the opportunity to look around the tables at her colleagues. Everyone had gone back to their conversations, and weren’t regarding her with caution, except for Maggie and Manning. They shared a look with each other, then her. “I’m fine, promise.” They shared another look with each other before discreetly taking her hands into theirs. “We don’t believe you.”

[alicedopey]

Gratulerer med dagen

Fandom: Vikings

Genre: Fluff , Modern AU

Pairing: Harald x Reader

Warning: None

Words: 1785

Summary: You haven’t been feeling well because of a loss and Harald wants to make you feel better for your birthday.

A/N: This is written for my dear @gearhead66​ to celebrate her birthday. I’m sorry for the delay, love and I hope you will like it. Huge thanks to my other half here @naaladareia​ for the wonderful moodboard.  Also, I took the liberty to imagine lockdown was over everywhere. 

Harald looked at you, sleeping peacefully in the care while he was driving. You needed to rest, this year had been rough enough – and it was only halfway done. Losing your aunt had been hard on you and this broke Harald’s heart every time he read some sadness in your eyes. He knew how it felt to lose someone dear. His parents had died in a car crash when he and Halfdan were teenagers, and they only had one another to rely on. They never really felt at ease with anyone apart from each other and it was still like that today… well, until he met you.

You represented what Harald had craved for his whole life, a woman to love who would love him in return. Right now, he wanted to do everything in his power to keep you happy and satisfied – hence his plans for today to celebrate your very special day. It was a good thing lockdown was over in the USA or everything would have been ruined.

After the funeral, he knew he had to take you far away from your place. He suggested to go and visit his family, meaning Halfdan in Norway.

“What about my dog?” You had exclaimed.

“We will take him, of course.” He smiled. How could he leave behind the fluffy thing that brought them together?

The day you met was still on his mind. You were walking two dogs when he first saw you, smiling and laughing at their antics. He liked you instantly, even more when he got to know you. First, he had invited you for coffee a few times then for dinner when he had tried to cook a nice meal at his place. Trying was the word since their main course had ended up burnt in the oven. You had laughed and promised to teach him a few things. In the meantime, he bought some sweet things for you to enjoy.

It’s been a year now and he had felt it was the right time for you and his brother to meet. Halfdan had always been the odd one but you got along quite well with him. Well enough for you to trust him to take care of your dog for the day while the two of you were away. His brother was good with animals, not with women. Harald could not even count the number of girls he had scared away. He was a free bird, enjoying women from time to time but never committing. So, he often mocked his brother for searching love so frantically. Harald did not care and kept searching. Now, he had finally found the one and he would not let go.

Here he was, driving from Oslo to his secret destination. He had woken you up at dawn this morning and you had not stopped grumbling until he had told you that you looked like the dog you used to take care of. You had struck out your tongue at him and hopped in the car in silence. Then, you had fallen asleep instantly.

The sun was high in the sky when they finally reached Trondheim. Perfect. He parked the car and gently shook you awake. You slowly opened your eyes.

“We’re there, love.”

Rubbing your eyes, you threw a look outside to try and guess where you had stopped.

“We are in Trondheim. Do you want to get a closer look?”

“Why not?” You both exited the car. Harald put his huge backpack on and he gave you yours.

“First stop?”

“Lead the way, Sir.” He kissed you softly and took you by the hand. You stopped in front of a huge cathedral.

“Wow…this is beautiful”. You whispered, in awe.

“It is, isn’t it? This is the Nidaros Cathedral. Want to get inside?”

“Please.” You almost pleaded. The moment you set a foot inside the Cathedral, you were amazed by its architecture, a beautiful mix of Roman and Gothic styles.

“It was built from 1080 to 1300 and had been the place where the Norwegian Kings are crowned since the Middle Ages.”

He knew he had captured your interest, then. You were really fond of history.

“So, Harald V was crowned here?” You asked and he nodded. “I guess it means that you would be crowned in this Cathedral if you ever became Harald VI, King of all Norway.”

Harald rolled his eyes. “You definitely watch this show too much.”

But he liked it as well and the way you would compare his life to the ‘real’ Harald’s life. He did not mind because he was assuredly more in luck than the lonely king you were so fond of.

Harald let you wander around the place and take a lot of pictures. He sometimes added some historical comments to which you listened intently. When you went out, it was noon. Your stomach grumbled loudly.

“What?” You said when you saw he was smiling. “You woke me up really early and I did not have time to eat. I’m hungry.”

“Then I think you will like our next stop.”

To your surprise, Harald did not take the direction of the town center. “Don’t worry.” He explained when he saw your interrogative stare. “I know a better place than here. The town is really nice, and I promise we will come back someday, but it is too noisy for what I have in mind.”

You went back to the car. Harald drove for a few miles before parking in a beautiful green valley full of trees surrounded by a lake.

“Let me introduce you to the Golden Road or as we call it, Gyldne Omvei.”

“Harald, this is breathtaking.” He chuckled lightly and kissed your forehead.

“Let’s go get some lunch.”

You found yourself in front of a nice little restaurant, Gulburet. Inside, it looked like a farm. It was warm and cozy.

A middle-aged plump woman welcomed you. “Hallo, vellkommen.”

You let Harald do the talking then you sat down at a nice wooden table.

“I know it’s not much but I can assure you will like it. The food is really good and they have a lot of Norwegian specialties.”

“My dear, dear King Harald…” You set a comforting hand on his. “I love it. You couldn’t have pleased me more.”

They were served different homemade meals: soup, bread, goat cheese from the local farms and a large piece of Fyrstekake, an almond and cardamom pie. The meal was simple but absolutely delicious.

Afterwards, he watched with a tender smile as you listened to the stories told by the host, giving a good impression of farm life over a 100 years ago. The stories, told in English especially for you, had caught your attention and you were listening to every word that came out of her mouth. It was a relief to see you so enthusiast about something after the troubled times you had to go through.

When the story was finished, you fiercely hugged him. Harald simply hugged you back and you stayed there for a while, enjoying each other’s embraces.

“Ready for more?”

You tilted your head upwards to look him in the eye. “We are not done?”

He shook his head. “Far from it. Brace yourself though because there will be a lot of walking.”

He let go of you and handed you your backpack. “Argh walking?”

“Yes, grumpy girl.” He kissed the tip of your nose. “I promise you won’t regret it though.”

He was right, you did not regret it. Harald took you to Inderøy where you visited two medieval churches and there also was a lot of hiking. It did not bother you. The trails were not that difficult to walk on and the landscape was so beautiful. It was this wonderful mixture of valleys and mountains, green and blue in front of your eyes with every step you took. That could easily make you forget you had been walking for hours.

“And there’s our final stop.”

You lifted your head at Harald’s words. The sun was slowly setting down on the valley, its numerous colors being reflected in the lake downwards.

Lost in the amazing view the Norwegian landscapes were offering, you did not hear Harald coming near you. He circled your waist and set his head on your left shoulder.

“You like that?” He kissed your ear, tickling your skin with his beard.

“It’s wonderful”. You whispered, putting your hands over his. “This day was wonderful…thank you.”

“Everything for you, my sweet…and I’m not quite done yet.”

He made you turn around and you discovered he had set down a whole picnic on a blanket.

You looked at him, amazed.

“So that’s what you’ve been hiding in this huge thing all day.” You exclaimed and lightly punched his shoulder.

“What can I say? I’m a man full of surprises.”

He helped you sit down on the blanket and took place near you. Then he filled two glasses with champagne before giving you one.

“Gratulerer med dagen, my love.” His glass clinked with yours.

You watched him closely, tilting your head on the side. “You just wished me a happy birthday, right?” He nodded. “Harald, thank you for today, for all of this. I didn’t know I needed it but it helped a lot.”

As you took a sip of champagne to fight back the emotions that were invading your heart, Harald squeezed your hand to comfort you.

“You don’t have to thank me. I did it gladly and I would do it again without a hesitation. Losing someone is never easy and it also made me realize how unbearable it would be for me if I lost you. I could not imagine my life without you. In fact, I want to tell the whole world that you are mine as much as I am yours.”

You gasped as Harald pulled a little velvety box from his pocket.

“Harald, are you…?”

He opened the box to reveal a white gold ring set with diamonds. “Y/N, will you marry me?” He asked with his deep hoarse voice that always sent shivers running down your spine.

“Oh…err…of course. Yes! Yes! I will marry you!”

Your half full glass fell on the blanket as you threw yourself in his arms. You exchanged a few kisses, laughing and crying at the same time. Then Harald put the engagement ring on your finger. You admired it, your eyes still full of tears.

You looked at your Northern man before saying “Jeg elsker deg*, my King.” His eyes widened so much you laughed. “Yes, I did some research. I can speak Norwegian too, you know.”

He chuckled. “Jeg elsker deg også**, my Queen.”

* Jeg elsker deg: Je t’aime

** Jeg elsker deg også: Je t’aime aussi

Tagging (tell me if you want to be added or removed): @naaladareia​ @gearhead66​ @therealcalicali​ @tephi101​ @maggiescarborough​ @peaceisadirtyword​ @mblaqgi​ @flowers-in-your-hayr​ @captstefanbrandt​ @medievalfangirl​ @girlonfireice 

[flowerfan2]

Gray Skies - Epilogue (now complete)

McDanno, 13k, A03 Read from the beginning here

Hi all!  Apologies for taking so long to finish this - in my head it was done, but a conversation on the H50 writer’s discord about WIPs reminded me that I had meant to give it an epilogue.  So here it is - hope you enjoy it!

Summary: What if Danny misses work because some days, he just can’t manage to come in? What if Danny didn’t move into Steve’s house just because he was worried about Steve, but also about himself? Living with depression doesn’t have to mean living without love.

Epilogue

Six months later

Steve’s in the kitchen, having a philosophical debate with himself over whether trying to find pineapple flavored coffee to tease Danny with is worth the effort, when the man himself comes into the room.

Danny’s looking kind of rough, hair tousled and unshaven.  He clearly hasn’t showered yet.  Steve’s heart squeezes a little, and he moves towards Danny, arms opening to catch him in a hug.

“Nuh-uh, none of that,” Danny says, stepping back and shaking his head.  “I’m fine.”

Steve stops in his tracks.  He’s surprised, to say the least.  Since when has Danny not wanted a morning hug?

“I didn’t say you weren’t fine,” he responds carefully, searching Danny’s face for a clue to his mood.

“But you assumed.”  

Danny’s clearly annoyed, even upset, and Steve can’t fathom why.  “No, I just wanted to-”

“Don’t lie.  You took one look at me,” Danny waves his hand up and down his rather unkempt self, “and you decided I needed help.  Next thing you know you’ll be offering to put on some music and bring me peppermint tea, or build a pillow fort, or give me a back rub.”

“And those are bad things?  I was under the impression that you liked it when I did nice things for you.”  Now Steve is getting annoyed too.  “What’s got into you this morning?”

 “Nothing,” Danny says, a little too loudly.  “Absolutely nothing.  It is an absolutely normal morning.”

 “Then why are you acting like this?” Steve can feel his voice rising to meet Danny’s.

 “Like what?  I haven’t done anything unusual.  It’s you who’s being weird – why aren’t you out on a run, huh? Or swimming around the island, or practicing for a decathlon?”

 “Oh, that’s mature.  And I already went for a run, as you would know if you were having a reasonable conversation with me instead of-”

 “So it’s my fault for not being reasonable?  Forgive me, I should have gotten up earlier, been prepared to quiz you on your morning activities.  Sorry I’m not a mind reader.”  Danny scrubs a hand over his face.  “Shouldn’t have bothered to get up at all, if I can’t do it right.”

 Steve doesn’t understand how this has gotten so out of hand.  “Danny, please, tell me what’s going on?”

 “For god’s sake, Steve, can’t a person just want to have a lazy morning for once, without his partner jumping all over him to fix everything?”

 Steve bites back his immediate reaction, which is to argue some more, and point out that maybe a person who wanted a lazy morning shouldn’t have started it by picking a fight as expertly as Danny just did.  But maybe something he’s learned in therapy is actually sticking, because he takes a deep breath instead.

 Danny’s hands are tightening into fists as he watches Steve, and he can tell Danny is about to blow.  But then, remarkably, Danny takes a deep breath too, and removes himself from the kitchen.

 Steve follows him – slowly, respectfully, not like he’s running after Danny to keep arguing, definitely not – and finds Danny staring out at the lanai.

 “It’s raining pretty hard,” Steve says. He’s not changing the subject so much as giving them both a chance to regroup, and Danny knows it, squeezing his eyes together hard and taking another deep breath before answering.

 “Yeah.  Good for the plants, though.”

 “Yeah.  It’s been dry.”

 “Yeah.”

 Steve lets another long moment pass, watching Danny’s shoulders relax and his fists unclench.  “If I come over there and give you a hug, ‘cause I like you a lot and for no other reason, are you gonna snap at me again?”  Steve asks calmly.

 “Asshole,” Danny mutters.  “Come here.”

 Steve wraps his arms around Danny from behind, and Danny leans back against him.  They both stare out at the downpour for a few minutes.  Steve loves the way he can feel Danny breathing, how he can match his inhales and exhales if he tries.

 He presses his nose into Danny’s shoulder, rubs his cheek against the soft t-shirt Danny wears to sleep in, and Danny tilts his head to rest it on Steve’s.

 Sometimes Steve wants to worm his way right under Danny’s skin, line them up together and fuse them tight with no space between them.  Maybe then he’d understand better what makes Danny tick, when to push and when to give him space.  Thing is, Steve hardly ever wants space from Danny anymore, and he thinks Danny feels the same. They’re getting better at this, lifting each other up without either of them faltering as a result, but it takes practice.

 “You went for a run in the rain?” Danny asks, as a burst of lightening races across the sky.  His voice holds nothing of the accusatory tone from just a few minutes ago, he’s just asking.

 “It wasn’t raining as hard before,” Steve says.

 “You’re kind of crazy.”

 “I know.”

 They fall silent again, but it’s more comfortable now.  Steve nuzzles against the side of Danny’s head, where his hair is buzzed short, and Danny hums contentedly.

 “I don’t feel depressed,” Danny says.

 Steve gets that he’s circling back to their earlier conversation, although he’s not sure yet where it’s going. “Okay,” Steve says carefully.  

 “No, I mean it.”  Danny turns in Steve’s arms, gives him a quick peck in the vicinity of his chin, and then steps away, walking over to the couch and flopping down.  “I’m okay. I’m so much better than I was, you see that, right?”

 “I do,” Steve says, and he means it. They’ve been going to therapy, and are each on slightly different meds, and he thinks it has helped both of them. Sure, there are good days and bad days, and Steve’s nightmares have proved difficult to shake, but overall they’re in a much better place than they were six months ago when Danny finally pushed them to get professional help.

 “But I woke up this morning,” Danny continues, “and I just felt, I don’t know, bleh.”

 “Bleh?”  Steve asks, letting a hint of humor color his tone, and Danny smirks.

 “Yeah.  Bleh.”

 “Okay.”

 “Do you get it, though?  Not hopeless, not as if I couldn’t bother to get up.  Not like there wasn’t any reason I could think of to even move.  Just bleh.”

 Steve comes over to the couch and sits down next to Danny, twisting so he can see his face.  “That’s good, right?”

 Danny snorts.  “Yeah, I thought so.  But then I came downstairs and you looked at me with that concerned face and…”

 “You felt like I wasn’t seeing your success.”

 Danny sighs and gazes away.  “I don’t like the idea that I’m always going to be sick, to you.  Someone who needs help.  I don’t like feeling weak.”

 Steve slides a little closer to Danny and bumps their knees together.  “One, you’re not, and I could tell you about a hundred reasons why, although you know them already.  And two, I could say the same thing about me.”

 Danny looks at him now, his nose wrinkling.  “I know. But why do I still worry about it?”

 Steve shrugs.  “Guess we’re just going to have to be patient.”

 Danny laughs half-heartedly and pokes a finger into Steve’s chest.  “Ha. Good one.  You, patient?  We’re doomed.”

 “As long as we’re doomed together, we can handle it.”  Steve leans his shoulder against Danny and Danny leans back, his hand reaching for Steve’s.

 “We’ve been doomed together before.”

 “Multiple times,” Steve agrees.

 “Remember when we dropped that nuke into the ocean from Kamekona’s helicopter?”

 “Not sure I could forget that, Danny.” Steve would love to forget it, it was terrifying, but there’s no chance.  “We still made it back in time for Kono’s wedding, though.”

 “That we did.”  Danny picks up his hand that’s holding Steve’s, and plays with his fingers.  Steve watches him, his heart stuttering as Danny brings his hand up to his mouth for a kiss, and then lets out a long sigh.

 “You know,” Steve starts out slowly, “I really did intend to have a lazy day today, too.  I cut my workout short and everything.”

 Danny rolls his eyes at Steve. “You did?  What does that even mean?  Only two hundred push-ups?”

 Steve glances over at the window as another burst of lightning streaks through the clouds.  “Thought I’d put on some Norah Jones and make something decadent with bacon.  Maybe eat it in a pillow fort.”  Steve raises an eyebrow at Danny.  “Rainy days are good for pillow forts.”

 “Using my words against me,” Danny groans.  “I’m gonna kill you.”

 “I was thinking about back rubs, too…”

 Danny opens his mouth, then closes it again.  “If back rubs are a euphemism for something else, I may regret rejecting them as a potential activity for today.”

 “Maybe yes, maybe no.  Does that mean you’ll reconsider?”

 Danny lets a smile dance across his face, then stifles it in mock exasperation.  “But no peppermint tea.  A guy’s gotta draw the line somewhere.”

 Steve beams, and pounces on Danny, who flops back on the couch and grins at him as Steve covers his body with his own.  Danny reaches for Steve’s head and pulls him down into a blistering kiss that is entirely out of synch with the whole lazy day aesthetic.

 “Sex now, lazy day and pillow forts later?” Steve asks when Danny lets him come up for air.

 “Sounds like a plan,” Danny replies, one hand sliding down to give Steve’s butt a squeeze, grinding them both together.

 “That’s why I love you so much,” Steve says between kisses, “you have the best plans.”

 Danny laughs against Steve’s skin, sending shivers down his spine, and there’s the Danny he knows again, sunshine bright and heart open.  “Love you too, babe, love you too.”  

[duhliriouss]

A Pawn & A King:

Chapter One

AN: This is a long ongoing story that will contain many chapters around 3000 words each. This will contain lots of angst, abuse, smut, drama, conflict, oh and smut! Please let me know if you have any suggestions you would like to see in future chapters. Some constructive criticism is much appreciated as well since this is my first FanFic. If you haven’t already, please read the Prologue below before proceeding to chapter one. Enjoy!

Prologue

Warnings: swearing, therapy, angst, abuse, self harm, mental illness

Summary: Y/N had lived her whole life in Gotham being unappreciated and disgaurded. With no family and an abusive roommate to rely on, Y/N doesn’t have much of a choice to resign anywhere else in the city. Yet she keeps on giving naively until her decent into madness and her meeting of the Joker.

Word count: 3,033

Disclaimer: I do not own Joker - Todd Philips or any character associated in Joker

Chapter One:

Your day carried on like any normal Monday. Surprisingly, you always felt at ease while working at the bank. Away from your reality. Away from anything that resembled your worthless life and place you called home.

You didn’t sleep well last night.

Your last hours dragged as you struggled to hold normal everyday conversations, Yet you always held a smile. No matter how tired you were you tried hard at your jobs. You cared.

You always cared. Too much it always seems. No one ever saw you angry. Your anger only consisted of getting red hot in the checks and running away with tears flying down your face. You’ve always been an emotional person that it make you ache day in and day out.

You felt things intensely.

All this has made you quite the pushover over the years. Someone could slap you across your face and you’d thank them, and/or apologize for anything you might have done wrong.

You hated this about yourself. One of your major flaws was muttering apologies for every action you made. Your psychiatrist has helped you discover over the months it was how your, now deceased brother tormented you all your childhood. And of course not letting you forget the disappointment your father had for you all your childhood years.

You knew you shouldn’t be sorry for most of the things you apologized for. But you’ve lost control on how to handle yourself when the real moments came.

The clock hit 4:00 pm and it was finally time to finish the rest of your exhausting day.

You swallowed hard as your feet left the building.

You didn’t like walking through the allies and streets of Gotham. You were used to being alone and even though you’ve walked alone in these streets over and over day by day, you always clenched yourself tightly looking down at your feet as you walked a steady pace, only focusing on point A to B.

Walking by people fighting and screaming, creepy men whistling as you hurried by, ignoring the robberies and drug deals as you focused your attention on the ground was a daily thing in Gotham. Yet it never ceased or lowered your fear.

You made your way to the train station and took a seat. You finally looked up to take in your surroundings for the first time since you left the bank.

Graffiti scattered most of the walls, mixed with flyers and Thomas Wayne For Mayer posters. Your eyes darted carefully around you to find just a few other passengers. Not sensing anything intimidating you focused your attention back on the poster.

Moving Gotham Forward

you huffed a small laugh quietly under your breath. You didn’t give a shit about politics. But some things you couldn’t help but chuckle at.

The city has always been run by the rich. Spilling their euphonious sounding lies as the city eats it up year by year. And when you see Wayne on the news, You don’t see a difference. That was one thing you wouldn’t let yourself be a pawn over.

~

“How’s your job”

“It’s good.”

“Home?”

“Fine”

You kept your eyes down fidgeting and twisting your cigarette in between your fingers.

Every week your multiple breakdowns gave you mental notes to talk about in your therapy sessions. Yet when the time came... you just sat there. Struggling to say anything at all.

The quietness and the burning of her eyes on you quickened your heart rate.

“Have you been journaling like I asked”

“No Mam” Your voice was soft and apologetic.

“And why’s that?”

You finally lifted your gaze to meet hers

“I don’t have time, I never have any time”

“Ah”

You watched silently as she traced her pen over the stacks in her folder printed with your name. Silence filling the room again.

“How does it feel coming here every week, having someone to talk to. Does it help?”

You took your time trying to find the right answer. You didn’t know. You never really knew anything once you sat in that seat. Once you walked through those doors you WERE a closed door, fumbling over your words. Frustrating yourself when you couldn’t find them.

“I - I don’t know. I think it was better for everyone around me when I was locked up in the hospital”

Your sentence started off nervous but as your heart rate slowed to your words, you felt the familiar numbness hit your chest.

Unbeknownst to you, your physiatrist noted the strangely similar, yet still different personalities you and someone else shared.

“I’m here to help you, you shouldn’t let yourself feel a burden to the world around you”

You couldn’t help but let out a cold, almost sarcastic laugh. Taking a drag off your cigarette you shifted your body to sit up straighter. You replayed her words in your head and frowned shamefully, Furrying your brows together and keeping your gaze downward

“I’m sorry. I’m not laughing at the fact you’re trying to help me. I just -“

You didn’t struggle with your words this time. You simply didn’t know how to tell her you’ve been living with someone whom has beat you countless times, made you feel more of a burden than anyone else. Never mind everyone else in your life. You didn’t have a family because of your burdens. No one at your jobs appreciated you and now that you think about it, you don’t think you’ve ever met anyone who has actually appreciated you for you.

But what can you do? You were stuck. You didn’t have any other choices in Gotham to resign to. And being manipulated by Harvie for years now.. frankly, you were just too scared to make any decisions in your life.

You noticed you haven’t said anything in awhile.

You looked up again at the woman you knew didn’t truly care about the struggles you went through. Her eyes stayed down at your papers, flipping through the pages.

“You’re on 3 different medications, Y/N. Would you like me to up the dosa-“

“Yes, please”

You responded fast and eagerly. You’d do anything to not feel so bad anymore.

“Alright..” her words were flat and unamused.

“I’ve also been noticing your Bipolar Disorder has been more; manic recently. I’m going to prescribe you Lamotrigine. Just don’t take it in the afternoon with your anxiety med, and start taking your birth control in the morning instead. Taking all these together can make you become rather reckless.”

Your mind drifted off at “manic”. You stared past her left shoulder as she continued to speak into a complete zone out.

You were precisely dead inside.

“Can you remember that?”

Your eyes darted back to her. You gave her a warm fake-like, but believable smile and nodded your head

“Yes mam, thank you”

Her eyes studied you carefully then up at the clock that hanged over the door behind you.

“It seems our time is a little over schedule”

You both stood from your chairs rhythmically

“Let me know how you’re feeling next week”

“What?”

“You know, any side affects, nausea, change in mood”

“Oh yes.. right. Okay” you gave one last, sheepish smile before turning on your heels to the door. Keeping your head down preparing yourself to face the public again.

You opened the door quite fast and started to walk, fumbling to try and get your hands into your coat pockets to pull out another cigarette. Before you could take a third step you bumped right into something solid.

You bumped into someone. You clumsily tried to take a few steps back but a pair of strong hands kept you in place from falling, both hands on your elbows.

Your face shot up to look at the face of who you just humiliated yourself in front of.

But you were met with gorgeous, humbling green eyes.

“Oh.. hi Arthur” your cheeks instantly flushed still embarrassed and not sure how to react. As your eyes stayed locked, you took in his features being so uncomfortably close to him. His hair was slicked back and his lips curved into a slight smile, making the crows feet on the corner of his eyes accentuated

“Im so sorry, clearly I don’t pay attention to my surroundings as often as I should”

He let out a breathy laugh, letting go of your arms. You now kept your eyes to your feet.

“Where are you so eager to get to anyway?”

“I’m not sure. Just in my own little world I guess. I uh.. also have to stop at the corner store to pick up some food items for dinner tonight. Then I have to go to the laundry mat to put in a couple hours..”

You found yourself rambling. He didn’t need this much explanation. Stop talking!

You finally stopped and cleared your throat along with one deep breath. Not hearing anything you decided to slowly look up and meet his gaze. Arthur almost looked as nervous as you were. But he still held a somewhat amused smile.

“Y/N, are you alright? You seem more flustered than usual”

“Yes I’m fine.. just a busy a schedule today is all. Again, I’m sorry for running into you.”

He studied your face as you spoke. Noticing the dark bags that had accumulated under your beautiful (y/e/c) eyes. His eyes then wandered to your flushed cheeks before briefly landing on your plump red lips. You suddenly felt attacked under his gaze and tried it focus on anything else around the hallway.

Arthur noticed this.

Feeling awkward for clearly making you more uncomfortable he cleared his throat and went to stutter out a goodbye before entering the room you just left seconds before. But instead surprised himself with the boldness of what he said instead

“Would you like to get coffee tonight?”

“I - I can’t, I have to work and and cook dinner for Harvie and I tonight”

“Oh.. right” he laughed nervously “sorry that was stupid of me to ask..”

“It’s okay”

A silence filled the hallway

“Hey, can I uh” he slicked his hair back anxiously “can I at least give you my number? You could really use a real cup of coffee sometime this week. just call me on a night your not so busy, maybe?”

His sudden boldness caught you off guard.

You and Arthur didn’t know each other well. But you’ve been acquaintances for some time, and have run into each other quite often.

You first met when you had group therapy sessions together from time to time when you both were in Arkham State Hospital.

You also saw him once in awhile at the laundry mat when he picked up him and his mother’s clothes

And now coincidentally enough, you both saw the same physiatrist in the same day. He always was the appointment after yours. It has left huge opportunity’s for small talk. Which you both indulged in any chance you could get.

Most conversations you both shared with each other were rather awkward and short. But there was this strange feeling that made you not mind so much.

You could sit for hours in awkwardness with this man. He never intimidated you. And you felt more yourself in his presence.

But you still didn’t really know anything about him except that he lives and takes care of his mother and lives down the block from you.

“ s-sure..”

you looked up innocently at him. You didn’t think about your answer as it just poured out of you. You felt like you were under a spell Everytime he spoke to you. Especially now.

He gave you a ear to ear grin at your answer which was short stopped when you both noticed there was no pen or paper.

“I have a pen!” You unnecessarily shouted.

You dug through your black crossbody cotton-like purse and pulled out a pen with the banks name printed on the side.

“Here! I uh.. don’t have a piece of paper though...”

he chuckled at your ditziness and took two strides over to you until he was mere inches from you. Taking the pen from you

Your heart skipped. Adrenaline shooting up your spine deliciously.

You didn’t realize how much taller he was, your head only reaching to the mid of his chest.

Your nostrils filled with a sweet smell of cigarettes and a slight scent of .. some sort of mint?

You felt dizzy

“Can I see your hand?”

Without a word you lifted your left hand just enough for him to snatch it and it up bring it up to his chest. He began to write his number on the back of your hand.

You twitched to the sudden pressure he put against the skin with the ball of the pen.

neither of you spoke as he took his time to write. Your eyes instinctively fluttered shut, enjoying the gentle and subtle contact your body hasn’t felt for a very long time.

After finishing he gently let go of your hand. Bringing it back to yourself, you examined his work. Taking in the attempt he had made to try and hide his messy handwriting which failed beautifully.

You looked back up at him, your cheeks beaming red

“See you around, Arthur”

The air was heavy as you turned and walked away down the short hallway as fast as you could , overstimulated by everything that just happened. You needed to be alone outside again so you could breath and make sense of everything.

“See yuh” he let out softly, Barley enough for you to hear before shutting the main door behind you.

Once outside you turned and leaned your back against the old concrete wall, eyes shut and arms against your chest. You took a minute to breath. Once your heart rate slowed down you opened your eyes again and fumbled in your coat pockets again to light a cigarette. You took one long inhale then managed yourself to peel yourself off the wall and continue on with your day.

You were still very much flustered. You could not for the life of you stop thinking about what just transpired.

There was always a weird flirtatious vibe when you and Arthur had some time to converse,

but this was different.

You suddenly had a new feeling towards him that left bursts of butterfly’s go up your body.

You tried to shake it off as you got back on the train to go to your second job.

You were a little late. 10 minutes to be precise.

You walked through the doors of the laundry mat to find your boss, Nyle sitting at the register area looking not so amused

“You’re late, Y/N” he didn’t look up from his paperwork that was laid out on the desk

“I know I’m so sorry, I just..” You couldn’t lie. “I uh, my therapy app-“

“You think I need a fucking reason? You show up and do the fucking job. You only do three and a half god damn hours. If you can’t do something that fucking simple, you’re fired”

Tears sprung in your eyes at his words. You never got used to Nyle yelling at you. He was an old miserable man that was never happy no matter how well you preformed. Every little mistake was taken seriously.

“Y-you’re firing me?”

“Oh give me a break. You’re gonna cry now? You act like this the first time something like this has happened. You’re either late or you never do what I ask”

“I’ve only been late a small handful of times since I’ve worked here over a year ago! And I do what you ask of me all the time! It’s never good enough for you because your expectations don’t make any sense!”

Your breath caught in your throat and your body started to tremble. You shook as you felt heat rise all throughout yourself.

“Get out”

You turned and flung the doors open to leave, tears streaming down your face. You held on to yourself tightly as your turned into a dark ally and let yourself drop against the brick walls.

Audible cries left you and you didn’t care who was around to hear.

You took in your surroundings and didn’t see anybody. Piles of trash filled the ally and around yourself. You looked up but the cities buildings towered over blocking the sky.

You closed your eyes, your head raised against the brick. You muted your sobs so you could listen.

You heard a couple’s argument around the corner of the other side of the ally, sirens in the distance, more screaming that seemed even father away, and groups of laughing and clattering coming from a pub next to the ally side you just entered.

You started to silently laugh to yourself. Looking down at your cigarette, twisting and turning it between each finger. Your legs were half bent displayed out in front of you.

You stared at the amber of the cigarette while still listening to the cities commotion.

Without much thought you slowly turned the cigarette so the amber floated just centimeters from the back of your right hand. You slowly pressed it against your skin listening to the sizzle as it bubbled your delicate skin. You didn’t twitch or move to the sudden pain it Illuminated.

Instead you managed to display a small genuine smile.

The smell of burn skin hit your nostrils. You pushed harder until the cigarette was out completely, letting it fall from your hand.

Closing your eyes again you started singing softly to yourself.

( quick AN: Let’s stay together - Al Green)

Whatever you want to do

Is all right with me

Cause you make me feel so brand new

And I want to spend my life with you

You were talking about yourself

The familiar imaginary music beaming in your head. Your head stayed up against the cold brick, a sinful smile stretched ear to ear. Your arms laid stretched out to either side of your body Your voice cracking as you sung:

Oh baby

Let’s, let’s stay together

Lovin you whether, whether

Times are good or bad, or happy or sad

[yeet-man]

One’s Rebirth (Chapter 6)

A/N: Don’t mind me, just gonna eat some Zebra Cakes and drop this since I’m close to finishing chapter 7. As usual enjoy the new chapter I guess, till next time.

BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ! BUZZ!

It was early in the morning whenever J'me's and Ryan's phone went off at the same time. Who could be calling the two at 6 in the morning? The two boys picked up the phone still in their half asleep half awake state and answered it. Before they could get a word in, their teacher, Mr. Aizawa, started speaking.

"Surprised the two of you answered this early in the morning. Anyway, today we are supposed to go to USJ for some hero training. We still are except the both of you aren't going. I talked to the principal about the situation and the quicker we find the suspect, the better chances we have of not shutting down U.A." 

Ugh, just fucking great. Instead of sleeping in for another hour they had to go on some super hero mission as if they will actually find the suspect. J'me let out a small quiet yawn before speaking.

"That's great and all, but like why did you have to call me and Ryan at 6 in the damn morning? 2 hours before school even starts."

"I have my reasons for calling the both of you at this time. Now, get ready as quickly as possible and meet me at the school, there are some rules we need to go over beforehand." 

J'me just looked at his phone wanting to just hang up and go back to sleep. Sadly, he decided not to or else he would probably get scolded for doing that. "Fine, I'll be at the school as soon as possible. Aizawa could you contact Mari and ask her to help us out? And also tell her to not bring any supplies, I'll be in charge of that. Is there anything else we need Ryan?"

Ryan took a couple seconds to answer since he had to think about it. "No...I think that's it." His voice sounded kind of empty, hopefully it was just because he was groggy.

"Okay, I'll contact Mari and tell her to help and not bring any supplies. Before I do, why do you want her help J'me? It's kind of unlike you to ask someone you know for help especially with something this big." As Mr. Aizawa talked on the phone as he swiftly looked up a way to contact the immortal girl. Once he found her contact information he quickly jotted it down and listened to J'me's answer. 

"It's quite simple if you think about it Mr. Aizawa, she's able to tank basically anything which would be a game changer if she's on our team or not. Now she isn't good at offense which is okay since me and Ryan will be in charge of that part, all she would have to worry about is defense which I know she has down." J'me sat up on his bed once he finished talking so he could start to get ready once the conversation was over.

"I see...if that's the case I'll do my best to get into contact with Mari. I'll see you two at UA shortly." 

J'me and Ryan simply hung up the phone without really giving a response to Mr. Aizawa. The two boys went through their usual morning routine, though they were in a bit of a hurry since they didn't dare disappoint Aizawa.

Ryan didn't waste any time leaving the house unlike his friend. J'me didn't leave since he was in charge of bringing the supplies, everyone else just had to bring their bodies. The boy grabbed a bag and started packing things they would such as water and some snacks. He also grabbed his Hokage outfit and put it on, taking some of his kunai's and placing them where they're supposed to go. If they were fighting villains why not look dope doing it? 

Once J'me finished packing for the adventure he double checked making sure he wasn't forgetting anything. Seeing that everything was in the bag, the boy teleported away leaving a midnight blue lightning strike for a second before that disappeared as well.

The teleportation boy was the first one to get there obviously, he let out a sigh and sat down waiting for everyone to show open. Ryan was the next one to arrive since Mr. Aizawa had to get Mari, the blonde boy sat down next to J'me.

"What's up bro?" J'me questioned as they did their own handshake they had since they've known each other basically. 

"Nothing, I'm just trying to hurry up and get rid of Kairo's killer. The quicker we get that person in jail the sooner I'll be able to sleep." Ryan's voice had a small bit of hatred in it, how could someone not be mad? His best friend was taken away and he couldn't help yet alone protect him. 

"Yeah I feel you man, I haven't been able to sleep at all either. I had to take some meds to make me fall asleep or else I would have been up all night." J'me let out a small breath of air and leaned back on his hands.

Ryan simply nodded and closed his eyes for a couple seconds before opening them and looking around. How long was Mari and Mr. Aizawa supposed to take again, hopefully it's not too long.

After a good 20 minutes the two that were missing finally showed up and Mari stood next to Ryan and J'me. Aizawa stood in front of the three and let out a small sigh.

"Now that we're all here, I'll go over a couple things then the three of you can leave. First things first, even though you don't have a hero license we are allowing you to use your quirks. Make sure that when you're fighting it's not done in a public area so no one innocent is hurt during the midst of battle." With that Aizawa gave them a map and some quirk canceling cuffs.

"There's a map with all possible spots the killer could be hiding and the cuffs are for when you arrest him. This will cancel their quirk as long as they're on them."

"Thank you Mr. Aizawa for letting me and Ryan look for the person who killed Kairo. I know it probably wasn't easy to convince the principal that we were the ones that needed to do this." The boy would bow down slightly to show his sign of respect, standing up after a couple seconds. J'me then grabbed the map and quirk cancelling cuffs, putting both things in the backpack he brought for the time being. 

"No need to thank me, you just better bring the killer down by the end of the day." Aizawa's expression was that of a serious one, it seemed like the man could just kill someone from the stare alone.

J'me nodded and took a step back, turning around to face Ryan and Mari. "Anyway… this probably is weird for Mari at least. As you've probably seen with my quirk I'm able to teleport where I want, the catch is I need to use a seal for my teleportation. Do you think I could put a seal on your shoulder? I'm sorry if this is confusing or weird, but this will definitely help me to get to the both of you quickly in battle if I need to." Ryan knew about how J'me's teleportation worked, so he didn't have to explain it to his friend.

Mari looked at J'me with a very confused look on her face. Teleportation? Seals? His quirk was way too complicated for her to understand. She went along with it though since he probably knew what was best for the battle. "Um, sure I guess? It's confusing, but I trust you know what's best."

The boy put his hands on Mari and Ryan's shoulder and closed his eyes to concentrate. A couple seconds went by before J'me opened his eyes and took his hands off their shoulder. The seal had been placed on the two and they thought it would at least sting a little bit, but it surprisingly didn't hurt at all. 

"Alright, the two of you have my seal that allows me to teleport. Once this battle is over I'll remove them off of both of y'all." 

The two nodded and J'me pulled the map back out from his backpack. He looked at it for a couple seconds and looked up and around. Once finding the way they we're going to go, he started walking in that direction while Mari followed behind. 

Ryan stayed behind to talk to Mr. Aizawa about the blood sample they gave him when they told everyone what happened to Kairo. "What about the blood sample Aizawa, whose was it?" 

Mr. Aizawa let out a sigh, he was surprised one of them even remembered the vial of blood they gave to him. "It wasn't Kairo's blood. From what I was told that blood belongs to someone named Charles Suchīru. I wasn't able to get any information on him in a short amount of time sadly."

"Charles? Surely it's someone else Aizawa, someone like that shouldn't even be here…" Ryan knew who Charles was, after all they were friends in the world they used to live in. Just having someone like that here would be troublesome, especially since they didn't know what kind of quirk he had.

Aizawa looked at Ryan a little confused, "Do you know Charles? If you do you better tell me Ryan Talley." His voice was harsh and serious about the topic at hand. The teacher wanted as much information as possible about Charles in case the mission failed.

"Um… I have to go Aizawa!" Ryan gave a small wave before quickly running to catch up with J'me and Mari. 

"Hey! I didn-" Aizawa let out a sigh and watched Ryan run off. He didn't have time to deal with that, the teacher had a class to prepare. Once all three of them were out of sight Aizawa walked into the school and got ready to tell his class the news.

Ryan was able to catch up to the other two, letting out a couple breaths of air. "J'me, we have a huge problem." He spoke in a somewhat worrisome voice which made J'me's heart race quickly.

"What's the problem?" J'me tried to stay calm, it wouldn't help him in the long run if his mind was racing about the problem. 

"You remember the blood vial we gave Aizawa? Well he had the results and it wasn't Kairo's, it was Charles Suchīru's." Ryan tried his best to keep calm as well, he needed to keep his feelings out of this for the time being.

"Charles? You mean that Charles?" The person they were talking about was a good friend of theirs in the other world. He was one of the best fighters they knew and hardly anyone could beat Charles in hand to hand combat. Just thinking about what kind of quirk he could have made everything spiral for J'me.

Ryan just nodded his head and placed his hands inside his pockets. This was a drag, not only were they forced to take Charles down, they're also forced to do it in a single day or else UA could get shut down. 

J'me bit his lip out of frustration and looked down at the map. Meanwhile Mari was wondering who this Charles person was. Could it be a friend of the two? Also, how do they know a villain such as him?

"Um, J'me? How do the two of you know Charles? Is he like a friend of y'all's?" The immortal couldn't keep quiet about it, these two boys were very mysterious and she wanted to know what exactly was going on. 

Shit, now they had Mari questioning them about Charles. J'me just ignored the question as if Mari never said anything and so did Ryan. The two didn't need someone who wasn't supposed to be in the timeline questioning things like this, at least not for the time being.

Mari let out a small sigh and just dropped the question. She wasn't going to get anything out of the two if they didn't even want to talk about it. The immortal did keep the question in mind though, maybe there was another chance she could ask before they started fighting.

It had been an hour after they left UA before they found their first spot. It looked to be an open area with the occasional tree out in the open. There was a huge rock in the open as well and all three of them sat down on it.

"We've been walking for an hour and there hasn't been any sign of Charles, this is one of the locations he could be at, but I don't see him." J'me was the first one to speak once they all sat down. They had 5 locations to cover and if each were an hour apart this was going to take all day.

"Well, if he's not here that means we're just getting closer to him and it's only a matter of time before he gets taken down right?" The immortal placed her hand over her chest, letting out a breath of air in the process.

"That's true, but we can't spend the entire day looking for him. The sooner we find him the quicker we can take him down." J'me took a couple water bottles out of his backpack and tossed them to Ryan and Mari.

Before J'me could get a drink of his water bottle, his phone started to ring. Who could be calling this time around? It was kind of annoying to get random calls out of nowhere. The boy picked it up though without looking at the caller ID. "I swear to god if it's Mr. Aizawa a-"

The boy would be interrupted before he could finish his sentence. The person that interrupted him was none other than Kirishima. "J'me! I'm sorry for stopping you from your sentence, but Mr. Aizawa told us why you, Ryan and Mari were gone. The reason I'm calling is because I want to talk about the timeline."

J'me's eyes went wide as Kirishima brought up talking about the timeline. He wasn't against talking about it, but why now out of all times? "Sure Kirishima we can talk about that, just give me a second." 

The boy placed his phone over his chest and called out to Ryan. "Yo Kirishima wants to talk about a certain something." He walked away from the rock and put the phone on speaker.

Ryan knew exactly what J'me was talking about, he got up and walked over to his friend. Now Mari was curious about the thing they were going to talk about since it included Kirishima and the two were friends, so she sneaked into the hearing distance from the two.

"Alright, now that I have Ryan next to me we can talk about the timeline. Why do you want to talk about this Kirishima?"

"I wanted to talk about the timeline because a major change might be coming up. If you guys take down Charles, what's going to happen? Is everything going to change a lot or what?" The red head spoke in a quiet voice, they were on the way to USJ so he needed to stay as quiet as possible.

"Um…" J'me wasn't entirely sure what exactly would happen if they captured Charles. He looked over to Ryan who shrugged his shoulders not knowing what exactly to say either.

"I'm not sure what's going to happen Kirishima, but I do know UA could shut down if we don't capture Charles. I don't think everything will change though."

Kirishima let out a sigh. Of course they wouldn't know what's going to happen next, the feeling of not knowing what was the next and knowing he didn't have no control over it kind of scared the boy. "Could you guys not take Charles down just yet? I'd rather have UA shut down since we can probably do something about that. If Charles gets taken down and something happens that we can't control what are we supposed to do?"

Mari kept on listening to the conversation feeling bad that Kirishima was scared about this. Even though she didn't understand anything about what they were talking about she tried her best to get the basics down.

"I don't know Kirishima. If we take down Charles UA doesn't close, and if we don't there's the possibility that he kills more people and UA closes for good. We could do something to make sure the school doesn't close, but we'll see." That's really all J'me could say, he didn't know that much about what was going to happen next. They could get defeated and not take Charles, there were so many things that could happen.

"I guess you're right," Kirishima wasn't happy with the news, but he just had to accept it. Deep down he honestly wanted to know what was going to happen next, but it wasn't like he could see the future. "Just come back safe and don't get badly injured." 

"Bro, do you know who we are? We're like the most badass people in UA, we won't get injured badly and that's a promise." Of course Ryan had to say that and it was good that he did. It kept a positive light in all of them, the two just hoped they could live up to that promise.

"Yeah, what Ryan said. We're gonna fight like our lives depend on it since they sort of do. We'll see you tomorrow Kirishima, have fun at USJ." J'me wanted to tell Kirishima that they would be attacked, but he was afraid that would mess up the timeline.

Kirishima said his goodbye and they hung up the phone. Hopefully they could have a minute to think about everything.

Once Mari heard the phone conversation, she had a surprised pikachu expression on her face.

"We never did tell Kirishima that Mari is only here because of us did we?" J'me shook his head that they didn't tell their friend that. How were they even supposed to tell someone that?

"Nope," Ryan said in response to J'me's question. That's when the both of them turned around to see Mari listening to their conversation.

"Shit," J'me couldn't help but mumble the word under his breath. "How much of the conversation did you hear?" He asked, putting his phone away into his pocket. 

Mari came out from her hiding spot and rubbed her arm nervously. She didn't think they would turn around that soon. "I heard the entire conversation…" The immortal felt bad for spying, but she let her curiosity get to her. "I promise I won't tell anyone!" She said out loud not wanting for Ryan and J'me to be mad at her.

The shorter boy of the two let out a small chuckle, he wasn't pissed off or anything. He just wished Mari came up and asked if she could know what was going on, that probably would have made things easier to understand. Meanwhile the taller boy of the two shook his head and let out a small sigh, he was annoyed to say the least.

"Look, I'm sure you're probably confused and have some questions. Feel free to ask us anything you want and we'll explain what exactly is going after this whole Charles situation." That's really the only thing J'me could say without being really mad that Mari listened to them. 

The immortal looked confused for a second, weren't they supposed to yell at her or something like that? She didn't question it though and went ahead and asked a couple questions. "What did you mean that I'm only here because of the two of you? Is there a timeline where I'm happy? Is there a timeline where my brother is alive?" Of course, these were just the first questions that came to mind. 

"The first question is something we'll explain at a later time. From the timeline we're from we don't know a Mari so that question can't be answered. As for your brother, I hope there is a timeline out there where he is alive." J'me knew those weren't the answers Mari wanted to hear, but he couldn't just lie to her and give false hope. 

"Oh, I see." Mari simply nodded and went back to the huge rock they were all at before. She felt somewhat hopeless because of those answers, a timeline where she's happy and her brother is alive? That sounded like a dream that would never come true. 

J'me let out a sigh and rubbed the back of his neck. "Next time you do the explaining," he said while chuckling a little.

"May-" Before Ryan could respond the ground rumbled beneath them, it was like a miniature earthquake in just their area.

Once the rumbling was over J'me looked at Ryan with a worried look, he didn't want it to be Charles. The boy crouched down a little bit as the bottom of his shoes started to glow a light blue. A couple seconds passed and the boy jumped up into the air. Since he could use things from Naruto, this also allowed him to use chakra as that was how they could use moves. Whenever chakra was used on a body part it enhanced it allowing them to punch stronger, jump higher and etc.

While J'me was in the air he spotted someone that wasn't Mari not that far from the three of them. He fell through the air quickly though so he wasn't able to catch a glimpse of the person's face. Once landing back on the ground he looked over to Ryan, "Safe to say that Charles found us instead of it being the other way around."

"Fuck," That's really all Ryan could say at that point. The fact that they were there for too long was possibly the reason Charles found the three of them. 

The both of them nodded and ran forward to confront the person who arrived. Ryan took the longer route going around objects, not trying to risk an injury even if it would be little. J'me ran forward, jumping over the objects in his way since getting there would be much quicker than the other route. He jumped on the rock and then off of it, going into a combat roll as soon as he touched the ground.

Luckily they didn't need to run that much till they were just a couple meters away from the person who caused the rumbling. The person turned around and it was just as predicted, Charles found them first.

"Oh, hey guys!" Charles smiled and waved at the two of them as if he never did anything horrible.

Ryan and J'me just stared in disbelief, how did Charles say that so casually as if they weren't in the My Hero Academia world.

Moments passed before anyone said anything, it just seemed too real for their friend to be there. It was just supposed to be J'me, Ryan, Kairo, and Calvin who was supposed to be there."Charles what the hell are you doing here and why did you kill Kairo?" J'me was the first to speak except instead of asking normally the boy yelled at him. 

Everyone jumped a little bit from the yelling since it broke the silence and while J'me was yelling that gave enough time for Mari to catch up and watch the events unfold.

Charles looked down slightly, what he did was a mistake and he didn't even mean to kill Kairo. After all, the two of them were friends as well. The teenager looked up and faced J'me directly. "As much as it may seem, I swear I didn't mean to kill Kairo, it was an accident. And if you give me a chance I will explain what happened to result in his death…"

[lexinthelibraryofdreams]

Family (part II)

Imagine: -

Words: 1855

A/N: So, part two. There will be at least two more parts, one with the rest of the pregnancy, but it takes more time than expected, so this part and the next parts will be shorter.

Warnings: -

Part I

Week 12

 “Spencer,” you called out as he was pacing through the room. When he didn’t listen, you sat up more and leaned forward. “Honey, would you please sit down.” He turned to you and brushed his fingers through his hair. “Shouldn’t the doctor be here already?” he asked and you shook your head slightly, a smile crossing your face. You reached out for him and he came closer, taking your hand and allowing you to pull him down next to you. “She’ll be here any moment. This is just a routine examination, it’s not like the baby will pop out right now.” He huffed out a half-hearted laugh. “I know.” There was a pause where he looked down at your stomach. “How come I’m more nervous than you?” he asked and you took his other hand in yours as well, rubbing your thumbs over the back of his palms. “I’m going to freak out soon enough, don’t worry,” you laughed. 

When Doctor Harper entered the room, you stood up to shake her hand. “Mrs. Reid, good to see you again. And I see you brought your husband,” she said and introduced herself to him. He responded with an awkward wave which she didn’t seem to mind. She only nodded and gestured you to lie down. Spencer took a seat next to you, the doctor sat down on the other side. “You’re at about twelve weeks now, right?” she asked and you nodded. “Yeah, that isn’t too early to come here, right?” She shook her head. “Would you lift your shirt up? I want to take a look at the little one.” You did as you were asked and smiled at Spencer. The doctor spread some gel across your stomach and you followed her gaze to the monitor. 

She looked at the screen for a moment then turned to you with a smile. “Looks like the child is very healthy and developing correctly. Would you be interested in knowing the gender?” You nodded after exchanging a gaze with your husband. The doctor moved the device across your stomach once more, then furrowed her brow and leaned in closer. “Is something wrong?” you asked, suddenly nervous. “No, I don’t think so. They baby is healthy but... oh,” she exclaimed suddenly and you looked at Spencer. There was worry in his eyes. “It seems like you are expecting twins,” she explained and you stared at her, then the monitor. “Twins? Are you sure?” Harper’s eyes were still glued to the monitor and she nodded firmly. “100% sure. And both of your girls are healthy. Congratulations,” she replied, now turning towards you with a smile. 

You then turned towards Spencer who seemed just as surprised as you. “Are you okay?” you asked, squeezing his hand and he nodded. “Yeah, just blown away.” He pressed a kiss to your temple and you smiled, trying to blink away sudden tears of happiness. “That changes some things,” you huffed and Harper nodded. “Yes but don’t worry, whatever you need, we’ll help you.” You shot her a thankful smile, then she put away the handle. “Would you like to hear the heart beats?”

You nodded again. Spencer gripped your hand a little tighter while the doctor took another device and started searching for a spot. When you heard the sound, tears again threatened to spill. Spencer pressed a kiss to your knuckles as you both listened to the fluttering heartbeats.

You hooked your arm onto his as you left the building. The smile still hadn’t left his face and that sight warmed your heart. “You haven’t told your team yet, right?” you asked and she shook his head. “You said you wanted to plan something.” You slipped your hand into his and hummed. “Yeah. Your birthday is coming up soon. Can you invite them for dinner? My family is coming already and I thought this was a good opportunity to tell all of them at once,” you explained and he nodded. “Also, I thought maybe you could send one of the sonograms to your mother, when you writer her?” He hummed quietly, thinking about it, then said, “Yeah, maybe it’s best that way.”

“No, how about some pizza? I’m starving,” you changed the subject and he chuckled, tugging you towards the car. “How about you order some in, then it should be there when we’re home.”

Week 18

You woke up and groaned slightly. Since two days your back was hurting when you woke up. “Good morning,” Spencer greeted you and pressed a soft kiss to your neck, causing you to smile. You turned to him and brushed your fingers through the mess of hair. “Morning,” you replied and he tilted his head slightly. “Still the back pains?” he asked to which you only nodded. “Yeah. I will have to get used to that. Don’t worry, it’s not as bad as I make it seem. I’m just whiny,” you said with a grin and pecked his lips before sitting up.

“Okay, I’m making breakfast. Want anything special?” He shook his head and leaned back, stretching slightly. You looked at him, trying to treasure this moment. He looked so innocent and calm with his guard down and no worries on his mind. When you didn’t move, he looked up at you and there was no sorrow behind his hazel eyes. “Is something wrong?” he asked, furrowing his brow. You shook you head, leaned forward and pressed a kiss onto the crease until it smoothed out. “I love you, you know that, right?” you mumbled against his skin, a sudden knot tying in your throat. “More than anything in the world and I wouldn’t exchange what we have for anything else.” You brushed your thumb across his cheeks and his hands came up to cup yours, gently moving your face so he could look at you, immediately seeing the tears that welled up. “Are you sure you’re alright?” You nodded with a smile. “Yeah. I just... I don’t know, I guess I just got emotional,” you explained and he smiled lightly. “Okay. Do you want me to go and prepare breakfast?” You only shook your head, pressed another kiss to his forehead and then stood up to go into the kitchen.

Spencer wandered into the kitchen just as you were done and snaked his arms around your waist. “You know, you have to allow to help me to help someday. You can’t keep doing everything by yourself,” he mumbled matter-of-factly and you huffed out a laugh. “Well, I’m trying to put it off as long as possible to spare you from either of us freaking out.” He chuckled, his hand lightly trailing over the bump your stomach had become. “We’ll see about that.”

Week 20

You rubbed your neck and sighed as you bent down slowly to pull the lasagna out of the oven. You rubbed put it down on the counter then sat down for a second to rub your slightly swollen ankles. “Everything okay?” Spencer asked as he stepped into the kitchen. He stepped up behind you and started to gently massage your shoulders. You hummed in content and you head rolled forward as you closed your eyes. “Please never stop doing that,” you mumbled and he laughed quietly. “I don’t think my team will appreciate that.” You blindly swatted backwards in his general direction but couldn’t help but smile.

The bell rang and you sighed, straightening up again. “Okay, let’s get on with it.” You stood up and carried the lasagna to the table. “Are you sure you want to do this? You look exhausted. They’ll understand if we call it off,” he said, following you and the bell rang again. You turned and placed your hands on his chest to stop him. “Yes I am sure, honey. Now, please, stop fussing over me and let my parents in.” He smiled, shook his head and kissed you before answering the door. Of course you were right. One didn’t need to be a profiler to know your parents would be there early. You straightened your shirt, glad it was loose enough to cover up your figure at least for this evening.

You watched as Spencer was greeted by your mother with a kiss on the cheek and shook your father’s hand. While it still looked somewhat awkward he had warmed up to them more since he first met them. Your mother kissed your cheek once she reached you. “Oh darling, you look so beautiful tonight. It feels so long since we’ve seen each other, we should meet up for dinner more often.” You only smiled and nodded. “That would be great.”

Over the next thirty minutes the others arrived and you started to eat after everyone congratulated Spencer for his birthday. Your parents and his team seemed to get along splendid, exchanging stories as if they had known each other for years already. You smiled and shot Spencer a look, taking his hand and squeezing it shortly. “Oh, Y/N,” your mother started, “Jenna said she tried to come but university is taking all her time, so she is sorry she couldn’t make it.” You nodded slightly. Your younger sister was currently attending med school. You were extremely proud of her and understood why she was missing. “It’s alright. We’ll call her later. I wanted to do that anyway to catch up on stuff,” you replied with a smile and you could see relief on your mother’s face. She was always worried to offend someone. Once everyone was finished, you cleared off the table after declining JJ’s help while the others chatted for a bit. “Anyone want a beer?” you called out from the kitchen and took the bottles that were asked for out of the fridge. Finally, you pulled the envelope with the sonograms out of the kitchen drawer and pushed it into your back pocket with a sigh, before lifting the tablet with the beer bottles and carrying it out into the dining room.

After you handed out all the bottles, you sat back down. Morgan was the first one to notice that you were the only one without a drink. “Hey, what about you? Not drinking tonight?” he asked and you glanced at Spencer, before shrugging slightly and saying, “Well, yeah. Won’t do that for a couple of months now, then we’ll see.” Some clicked faster and suddenly JJ leaned forward. “You’re pregnant?” Your mother gasped when you nodded and you carefully pulled out the envelope, offering it to her. She pulled out the pictures, studying them with a furrowed brow. “So, eating for two now?” Morgan jokes and you huff out a laugh. “For three, to be precise,” you reply with a crooked grin.

Spencer shut the door behind your parents and exhaled. “Well, that was far more exhausting than expected,” he hummed and you snickered, pulling him close and pressing a kiss to his chin. “Well, they’re our families. I expected nothing less.” You could feel him smile into your hair before he took your hand and pulled you towards the bedroom. “Still, now we need some sleep.”

Part III

CM Tags: @cynbx​ 

[vanaera]

The First Dip

Synopsis | All of this is too new for Jungkook - realizing he’s in love with his bestfriend, trying his best to impress a lady, manning up to do the first move - everything is too new and he’s still clueless around these things but he still tries his best.

Genre | Fluff and a very small pinch of angst (football!jk + childhood friend!you)

Words | 3,286

A/N | Okay I can’t get football!jk out of my head so here I go - another installment of this drabble series!

Read more of football!jk drabbles in The Prince and His Rose

     There’s something wrong along the lines. Something aberrant and definitely odd that emphasizes itself in one giant "What the hell" no matter how many times Jungkook adjusts his reading glasses.

    Otor-nim Y/N: Hey can you check this out? What do you think? (8:46 P.M.)

     Yeah, right, Jungkook will always check it out. However the minute he glanced over the text block you sent on Messenger ten minutes ago, Jungkook still doesn’t know why he feels disturbed at the same time giddy-happy. He settles for disturbed. He’ll be forever on his toes when he’s around you.

“Your eyes that held stars, every swirl of the inky black that promised another galaxy waiting to be found.”

     Okay, sounds good but also weird. You have never delved into romantic poetries, as far as he knows, and this is definitely out of his comfort zone too. Jungkook scrolls down, losing himself in sentences you painted with love too surreal until his eyes drink the last words of your prose.

“You make me want to see you even in my dreams.”

“ You’re a world I will forever would want to be lost in.”

     Jungkook fixes his glasses that were slipping on his nose as he strokes your words in ink across the pages you will never know about. At least not yet, he thinks, licking his lips as he finishes the line with a dot and a quotation mark along with your name and today’s date. He smiles wide at the page now marked with another art of yours along with his own little illustration of star-filled eyes and a galaxy boy holding the heart of his muse.  He flips the pages to dwell on the few papers yet to be graced by words he wished was about you and him. You haven’t published anything yet in print but this black little notebook of his might be the first ever collection of your poems and prose. He chuckles, his chest rumbling with songs of the birds in his chest. Just before he could dwell again on the lines that had his heart swelling with affection, he hears a “ding!” that calls him back to his original purpose.

Otor-nim Y/N: What do you think of my drafts? (8:48 P.M.)

     Oh right, he’s supposed to give a feedback. He unknowingly grins, his fingers dancing along the keyboard.

Star Kook: It’s good! No need to edit anything, it doesn’t sound cringey. Just pure admiration and romance. (8:49 P.M.)

     Should he add more? There’s no harm asking right?

Star Kook: It looks like you’ve been eyeing a new inspiration lately huh? Who’s the lucky guy ;) (8:50 P.M.)

Otor-nim Y/N: Some eyecandy I’ve been staring at lately. I just imagined what having a handsome guy fawn over you felt like and I wrote that. There’s no harm daydreaming anyway and the fact that it didn’t sound like just me ‘daydreaming’ based on your feedback, I’m happy with it. Thanks Kookie! (8:50 P.M.)

     Jungkook freezes. Eyecandy? You just saw where? When?  You don’t spend a lot of time with guys other than him - wait. His forehead furrows as he grabs his phone to view his self camera. He doesn’t look that bad, right? Some people have told him he’s cute, so maybe it’s about him. Damn it, his cheeks are already reddening with the thought.

     But then again, you’re a wonderful girl yourself and you have a couple of people orbiting around you and your ideas. He may think of you as his only rose in his garden of you and him but maybe you can’t even see him - just a tiny bud that’s taking too long to bloom - in the fields of flowers you probably collect from everyone that have adored you. The red notification on the name of his med student friend drives him to click it and remember why he’s even trying at all.

Nurse Doc Jimin: Hey, just read your message yesterday about you being emo again on your “unrequited love.” As I have numerously told you before (and I won’t stop telling you this to your blockhead self), you won’t know unless you tell her. So for you to tell her, you don’t have to bombard her with unrestrained feelings. Just up your game and make her notice it little by little. You’ve been toeing the testing waters far too long; try to man up and take a fucking dip, man. (8:53 P.M.)

//

     It’s already one o’clock and he’s starving and you’re still stuck in class. Jungkook paces back and forth in front of the lecture hall, his bag strapped across his chest felt too heavy so he puts it on the chair he abandoned ten minutes ago. He doesn’t want to sit, feeling he will just get too jittery again, and so he sighs as he runs his hand through his hair. He checks his watch - twelve forty-five - okay maybe, he’s just being really impatient, but still your Physics class is taking too long. Jimin already told him in annoyance he could just head out and buy something after he messaged him non-stop about waiting for you too long and that you’re still not done yet with gravitational forces and distances.

Nurse Doc Jimin: Well, you could just text her and tell her to meet you in that café (12:47 PM)

     Jungkook snickers; he still cares for his sappy ass no matter how much he liked annoying him. But he knows with his much-appreciated advice or not, he would shut down such thought with a stubborn "Nope, I’m gonna wait for her.”

     He can’t bring himself to just get up and leave when he’s already waited thirty minutes for you. His effort will go down the drain, and it was well-established between you two even back in grade school that you both have to eat your meals together. He even remembers the pinky promise your seven-year-old chubby fingers sealed along with his own pinky. “No one eats first, no one leaves the other, okay?”

     It was silly at first, but after knowing how you hate eating alone when you’re so used with warmth and hearty meals shared within close-knitted families like yours and his, he made it a point to fulfill his end of the promise whenever your schedules aligned or can be bended in some cases. He even got to the point he rudely nudged Jongin away last year just to get to the seat across yours in the cafeteria when he noticed the university’s top ballet dancer was headed to your direction. He knows he was being mean and irrational, but in his defense, that spot was his to begin with and he refuses to see another guy seated across you in tables for two other than him… well, your dad and brother are excluded from this ridiculous setting he made.

     He just likes to see you talk a storm about another idea you got while eating, delving in things you love, bright eyes and glowing smile directed at nothing but him that the rest of the world seemed like only giant backdrops for him and you. He’s not ready to tell you that yet, so he usually tries to quell the fluttering of bird wings in his rib cage by teasing and playfully annoying you just to temporarily soften the intensity of the songs the birds in his chest sings whenever you’re near.

     Just like now, he could already feel his heart picking up pace when he heard the student’s faint chuckles and chortles getting clearer by the second behind the door. He immediately shrugs off his jacket and shoves it in his bag just so he can stand up and lean on the wall with his elbow looking all suave. It wasn’t really that cold and Seokjin passed by him earlier and said his thin shirt emphasizes the muscles he was working on lately (that you still haven’t noticed, he bitterly thinks). Taehyung remarked after taking a shower from their morning practice that his styled hair looking slightly wet made him look cooler and dare he say, hot. He checked the mirror a thousand times today (a first time ever in his life) and he checks his self camera now for one last time, and yes, he thinks he looks fantastic and so eyecandy.

     The door bursts open and students flock the hallway. Jungkook waved at some of his acquaintances; he also noticed some girls who glanced his way a little longer than necessary and he smiles wider because of the attention. He thinks it’s kind of normal for other students to stare at their university’s star football player whom they saw on printed tarpaulins in school gates, sometimes on television when autumn comes along with the annual university championships. But for today, he wants to be vain a little bit just for a confidence boost and so he thinks, “Maybe I do really look good today,” as he fixes his pose.

     By the time the crowd was thinning a little, Jungkook hears the tinkle of your laughter and he tries to keep himself from grinning too much while setting his elbow firmer against the wall with his other hand settled on his waist. He may or may have not also flexed his biceps for good measure.

     “Yeah and he looked so cute I wanna squeeze his cheeks and just he’s soo eyecandy I swear-“

     Instead of seeing you getting flustered seeing him looking like a snack (like he thinks he is), Jungkook nearly falls back when your head collided with his chest, his arms already wounding around yours to keep you from tumbling. Your hands instantly found purchase on his biceps and he could feel the tender curve of your chest against his abdomen and shit, Jungkook thinks the birds in his chest may start singing so he immediately pries you off to hold you by your hands, an arms-length safe away from his frantic heart, so you could stand on your feet.

     Jungkook’s cheeks heat up the minute you raise your head slowly to meet his eyes, your warmth radiating in his arms as if he was literally holding the sun, his sun. He releases his hold on your hands so fast as if he was burnt. Hands ruffling his hair he spent so much time styling, he breaks the silence, “Hey are you okay?”

     “I’m fine, I’m fine,” you smooth out your skirt and Jungkook really feels the air was knocked out of him along with his confidence. The words to cooly invite you to lunch out with him now dying in his throat when you look so cute in a rose colored knitted sweater and red skirt. You look like a fucking fairy and shit, just so eyecandy. This is too much for his poor heart.

     “Why the hell are you standing so near the door and doing this?” Jungkook looks at you copying his “eyecandy pose”, hand on your waist, elbow propped against the wall. You wear a frown but Jungkook will always recognize the teasing glint in your eyes along with your signature raised brows. Fuck, you’ll never gonna let him off the hook.

     He opts to grab his bag and yell “Nevermind, I’ve been starving already waiting for you,” as he walks away so fast with his ears burning in embarrassment. You called for him to wait for you as you speedwalk to catch up to his long strides and Jungkook laughs just to hide the loud thumping of his heart.

     Opening the door for you like he usually does, Jungkook leads you two to your usual table in Mark’s, the burger place you both frequent whenever one of you was feeling generous to treat the other with a fat wallet. Before you grab your seat, Jungkook zooms to your side to pull your chair for you and now he can see you looking funny at him. This is too strange for him too - doing the first move when he’s used to let you take initiative, him acting like a total gentleman when he’s been such a teasing, annoying ass to you for years – he’s literally not acting like his usual self. But with you muttering "What's gotten into you?", looking a little shaken with a telltale blush on your cheeks, Jungkook feels this kind of weird is something he’ll avidly do everyday just so he can see you grace that soft smile that always knocks out his heart.

     Your order arrived a couple of minutes ago but you keep your hands laced together as you talk to him about a ballad you’re planning to write while waiting for his food.

    “I mean I haven’t experienced love, and the last time I wrote about a romance story was when I was a kid –“

     “The Prince and His Rose,” Jungkook supplies and you nod.

     “Yeah, but today I finally thought of fully dive in the romance genre,“ you eyed Jungkook and you both said aloud, ”the genre - I - you - always avoid like a plague - "

     You sigh, “and just practice how well I can deliver things that I haven’t felt yet. It’s not like I’ll be able to feel everything in this world right now but I think it would be nice to put yourselves in other’s shoes and think about how will such things really feel, right?”

     “It may also be a nice training to be more empathic with your readers,” Jungkook smiles. “Wow, author-nim, you’re really going to the next level, huh,” he smirks and you swat his shoulder to which he cackled.

     His food finally arrives and you start to unwrap your meal. “Anyway, I told you that because there’s a favor I need to ask from you.”

     Jungkook bites his burger and motions you to continue.

     “Can you come to my dorm tonight and help me with the drafts?”

     Jungkook sputters, “What, wait what, you want me to?” He has never been invited by any girl before in their rooms and the last time he agreed to you to do so was when you're both 7-year-olds. It's totally different now, especially when his heart is treading on foreign waters you shouldn't know about yet anytime soon.

    You set your food down before you grab his hands between your tiny ones. “Please, just tonight. My roommate will go back home today and I just need someone to give me advice face to face with the things I’ll write and sorry I know it must inconvenience you a lot but I just hate being alone for tonight and I promise-”

    “Okay, okay, I’ll go.” Jungkook feels excitement and anxiety bubble in his diaphragm, but he hides it with a sigh and a downcast of his eyes to look as if he’s really burdened. He can’t really say no to you especially if he’s free for the whole night and here you are taking the words from his mouth just so he can be close to you. He keeps his dismayed forte, enjoying the way you try your puppy eyes that was effective on tugging the strings of his conscience back when you’re young. It still works today though the effect was centered on the soft muscle of his heart and a little bit on his brain now. God, he’s so whipped.

     “What were you promising again?”

     You sit upright and do the pledge pose you always made fun of because of him in grade school. “I’ll help you with the write ups you have to do because you’re falling behind the lit class due to the games.”

     “Wow, you just have to state my negligence so nonchalantly in public.”

     You make kissy faces at him. “What can I say? Perks of being a bestfriend.”

//

    Later that night, Jungkook and you surround yourself in thousands of papers and words, pens lining and sighing with ink and letters of longing for some lover you never had. Jungkook doesn’t know why you needed him by your side in the first place when you're doing more than okay with your lines. He feels bad when he knows he can’t really help you out without giving away too much of the musings of his heart you don’t need to hear yet so he just suggests things you can tweak like “instead of blazing, write ‘scorching’, it has more feel to it,” or “you can add this to the fourth stanza.”

     It wasn’t until you stood up to make some dinner that your phone rang with a new text message when Jungkook knew why you actually needed him. Another declined manuscript, failed deadlines - Of course you wouldn’t say it aloud to him, but he knows with your sudden workaholic tendency tonight, you’ve been escaping the reality, seeking comfort in your art and maybe in his presence. He doesn’t say anything and just meets your gaze across your counter to see you huffing about making him some french toast with a giggle. You may hide your disappointment in masked happiness so well, but the way your smile won't reach to a full curve will never be ignored by his eyes. Minute details may be surpassed with naked eyes, but after spending years with you playing hide and seek with him between the lines, he already knew the paths and directions your intentions and feelings will usually go.

     After finishing dinner and you deciding not to divulge anything, Jungkook chooses to pull your blanket from your closet and drape it over your heads. The worn galaxies in its star printed fabric blankets you in reassuring comfort, a sanctuary you both found constellations back in high school whenever it just feels too good to leave everything behind. It will always be the closest space you could ever get while living in a suffocating world. 

     The softness of the cloth and the warmth of his arm he caressed your shoulders lulled your breathing to a noiseless slumber, head slumping against his shoulder. It’s far from peaceful when your face is scrunched but Jungkook thinks it’s better than seeing you suffer sleepless nights that have been getting worse when you’re stressed these days.

     Jungkook picks up your limp form and carries you to your bedroom, lithe fingers tucking you under the sheets. With you asleep, he lets the birds in his heart sing in tremendous chorus as he presses a kiss on your forehead that automatically smoothened the tension your brows were holding.

     He grabs the papers you both trailed on and arranges them on your desk when your small voice halts his movements.

    "I'm feeling sad but here you are looking so..."

     "What?"

     “… not my fault you looked so eye candy earlier.”

     It may be a wrong time but Jungkook can’t help but drop a little something when he knows you have a bad habit of blurting things you keep to yourself when you’re asleep. Back then, he used to poke fun at your weird habit but now when everything has changed, he will still tease you about that but he intends to find hope for the thorns of his anxiety poking his heart.

    “Whose fault is it?”

    “…Jeon Jungkook’s.”

     That near-midnight, Jungkook escapes through your window when your RA made her rounds on your floor. He may have almost fallen on his bum but he thinks all his efforts for today are all worth it. He lays on his bed, the birds on his chest singing a ballad he never heard of before.

Epliogue

"So I heard you said I was so eyecandy huh?"

"When was that?!"

"I'm not gonna tell~"

"Jeon Jungkook, come back here!"

All Rights Reserved © Vanaera. Reposts, modifications, and translations of content are not allowed without direct permission.

[purkinje-effect]

The Anatomy of Melancholy, 28

Table of Contents. Go to previous. Go to next.

A knock at the front door frame roused ‘Choly from where he slept on his couch. He sat up to find Sturges backlit by the moonlight. Rubbing at his eyes with a yawn, he motioned for him to come in.

“You’re the only one of us I don’t think’s eaten yet today. You want a can of pork n’ beans?” Sturges sat in the armchair and offered him a can and a fork. “I’ve got a can opener.”

“Food does not agree with me. Not now, and not for a long time.”

“Sorry to hear that. That’s only one of the things I came over here to talk to you about, at any rate.” Sturges held the can and utensil in his lap. Once ‘Choly put on his glasses, the handyman continued. “Preston says you lived here before. That right?”

“It… it wasn’t just my house. I had a roommate. And of course Angel. I’m so grateful Angel’s still here.”

“I didn’t mean to get you on a sorry topic,” Sturges apologized. “Came by to check on you, and to scout out what kinds of repairs I might be able to offer. I tinker and repair and improve constantly, even in my sleep. Helps me knock out faster, to deconstruct and reconstruct stuff in my head. I’m pretty handy when I put myself to it. And seeing as this was… is… literally your house, I figured you might like to see a few of the walls back up.” He winked at the chemist.

‘Choly did his best to ignore that the Med-X had worn off, and give his attention to his guest. His leg was definitely wrecked from the fighting earlier.

“For how much of an outburst I had over keeping possession of the house, I’m struggling to make peace with actually living here,” he admitted. “Nothing against you, but… everything is so different. Sometimes, things don’t get any better, and that’s okay. It’s not like they can ever go back to the way they used to be.”

“Things can and will get better,” Sturges objected with a stern, pleasant wagging of his finger. “I had my suspicions you were prewar, from how you talk about things, but Preston did everything in his power to skirt that description when he was apologizing about how you got mad at the Longs before. Everything’s gonna even out, once we establish ourselves here. Promise. I’m optimistic about this place. Surely we can do something about all the ghosts and cobwebs for you. Make it someplace the lot of us can call home. Including you.”

As Sturges got lost in thought, ‘Choly couldn’t tell if the warm distant smile fell on his face or just past him. Sturges realized he was staring and stopped.

“It’s certainly better here than Concord,” ‘Choly admitted. “You really want me around after the way I acted earlier? After knowing that I helped those raiders be as formidable as they were?”

“They had you fooled into thinking you were getting something good from the arrangement. None of us wholly faults you. Besides, you helped us get rid of them. And what kind of neighbors would we be, if we didn’t help you get your house back in order at the same time we settle in ourselves?” Sturges leaned in, steadying himself with a hand on his own knee. “Can I ask you a stupid question?”

“I’ve been asking most of the questions today,” ‘Choly allowed, stunned to have verbal confirmation that yet another of the group accepted him in some way. “It’s only fair.”

“Alan… It’s really Elaine, isn’t it? Rather, it used to be.”

The chemist bit his lip and sank back on the couch, stiffening.

“Close enough. I’ve been Alan since I stepped foot on the continent. I’m from Russia. What of it?”

Sturges mirrored him and sat back to defuse the stress a bit.

“Psh, it’s nothing. If you’re Alan, you’re Alan. Really, it’s a lot like how I’m Sturges.”

‘Choly squinted at him, and sat back up slowly.

“I really hadn’t met anybody else like me. Like this. Not in the motherland, not before the war, and certainly not here now. Really?”

“It’s more normal than you were led to think. People… change names in the Commonwealth all the time. And no matter the reason, that’s your business. Am I right?”

“Quite right.” ‘Choly didn’t remember the last time he really genuinely smiled. “To be honest, I don’t even feel like an ‘Alan’ anymore. I’ve been going by ‘Melancholy’ since I really started establishing myself again. I’m starting to think I might have gotten as lucky meeting you all, as you did meeting me.”

“Maybe so. I just wanted to make sure you heard it from my mouth, that we’ve got a gob of respect for ya, and not to sweat the little stuff. Listen, I know you said you weren’t hungry, but I’m gonna leave this in case you get peckish.” The can went to the floor beside the couch. “Keep your strength up. Get some rest. I’ll look the house over better in the daylight tomorrow. And we’ll discuss getting this place in order once everybody’s had a chance to recover from the Museum. Sound good?”

“Sounds amazing. Goodnight, Sturges.”

“Goodnight, ah. Melancholy.”

‘Choly resumed getting comfortable on the couch as Sturges left, only for Angel to come in a few minutes later.

“Ah, Sir. You’re awake! I was just tending to the others so that they might bed down for the night. Do tell me if you need anything of me?”

“I… really should eat something,” he resigned, sitting back up with a pained grunt. “Could I… have a Melancholia, please?”

“Certainly, though mind we’ve only got the six left.” It almost tacked on a since you gave the one to Mister Jared, but it knew better, and simply handed over the cherry-sweet refreshment without another word.

As ‘Choly nursed at the drink, he got focused on his leg, and distant on everything else.

“My chem lab survived mostly in tact, and I’ve got plenty of Melancholy’s salt left over. We’ll talk about replenishing my stock in the morning. Right now, I think I underestimated how badly I was injured earlier. Could I have a Stimpak as well, Angel? To the back of my left leg?”

As it administered the requested medication to the gestured-to body part, Angel halted in awareness.

“The Melancholia contains cyclomorphine, Sir?”

“–Just morphine. I swear it.” ‘Choly took another swig off the meal replacement to hide his sweating. He did his best to keep the leg straight while the Stimpak worked its magic on the torn musculature. “I’ve always meant it when I’ve said it’s the only way I got through Deenwood. Meal substitute… and nepenthe.”

Angel was quiet for some time, wringing its tendril-appendages together.

“I haven’t offered it before now, because I haven’t thought it my place to, but Sir… You do have three ampuoles of Addictol in my stores. I am remiss, to have let your penchants get this far out of hand… Did you really mean it, that it’s the only sustenance your constitution’s allowed since you returned from the vault? Or was that the addiction talking?”

“Your cooking is exceptional,” he replied, falling drowsy already. “It’s no knock against your cuisine. You’re handier than any Handy in the kitchen. I’ve done well to keep any food down, fresh or otherwise. The only thing that hasn’t given me trouble is what I have in my hand right now.”

“I understand. And I can’t persuade you to make future batches of Melancholia without its… key ingredient?”

“For you, I would give it a shot… but I can’t promise I’ll continue leaving it out.” This was too heavy a conversation for him, but he couldn’t very well just tell his closest companion to simply shut up. Not when it was expressing a very real concern for his sustained health. “We can take it one day at a time.”

“…If I help you make more Melancholia, can you promise me that you’ll make it the only chem you touch from now on?”

‘Choly swallowed hard on the last bit of the lead-heavy sweet drink, and barely managed to hand the bottle back to the damaged Handy without dropping it.

“I… I owe you that much, after everything that’s happened. I can agree with you that the constant sampling has had… long term adverse effects.”

“You were struggling, but I did not know the extent. I know now to voice my concerns as I encounter them, and that you respect me enough not to dismiss me. I just… I want nothing more than to see you alive and thriving again, Mister Carey. It gives me meaning to have you back in my life again. And I want you here for as long as time allows it.”

“I wouldn’t have lasted a day out here without you. You’re… my guardian angel.”

He would have sworn he saw a sweet smile cross the Handy’s chrome front as he closed his eyes and laid back on the couch.

“Keeping watch over you as you get your beauty sleep, Sir. Rest well.”

He awoke the next morning to find Angel had set out an inhaler on the arm of the couch beside his glasses. Once he had his eyes on again, he looked it over, though he knew what it was without reading it. The Addictol. He realized that while he slept, Angel had covered him up with a hospital blanket and tucked a pillow under his head, and he smiled to himself. He pocketed the inhaler and folded up the blanket into a tidy pile with the pillow, and turned to find Angel come back into the living room.

“Good morning, Sir! I’ve got a fresh pot of coffee brewed for you, and you’ll find a bottle of your Melancholia at the kitchen table as well.”

“Good morning, Angel.” He smiled tiredly, rubbing at his bed head as he shuffled over to the now-rickety aluminum chair. He sat at the peeling linoleum table, and Angel rushed over to open the bottle for him. “Thank you.”

The Handy poured him a cup of coffee and brought it also.

“Do tell me you slept well.”

“Besides the nightmares, I can’t complain.” He alternated between caffeine and morphine, somehow comfortable despite it all. Jokingly, he looked to his Pip-Boy. “Did the Sunday paper come yet?”

“Late as always, Sir.”

“Two hundred years late,” he laughed, nearly crying out of nowhere.

“Oh, dear. Sprung a leak, and I’ve only got a… shop rag to offer you?” It handed him the wadded-up, rust-colored, low thread count square of cloth apologetically. “Was it something I said?”

“No, no.” He sniffed. “I thought I could make light of my situation, but it’s still too soon.”

“If it makes you feel any better, I’ve spent the morning cooking breakfast for the others. Even in the short time we’ve known this group, I’ve grown quite attached. They’ll make fine neighbors, if I do say so.”

“Take care of them all you like. They deserve a little of your brand of affection, after all they’ve been through. And I know it’s a comfort for you to look after them as well. It’s always been your nature.” All the while, ‘Choly ignored that he clutched the Addictol in his pocket. He knew it was an elephant in the room, and he cleared his throat and took another sip of coffee. “No, I haven’t taken it yet. I’m… not ready yet.”

“Not ready?” Angel looked on in confusion. “Addictol isn’t painful, Mister Carey.”

“Not ready… to be addiction-free,” he sighed, setting down both the beverages and the inhaler on the table. “I’m sure you haven’t been able to process why I haven’t taken Addictol before now. I can’t handle just being me again. The withdrawals have been a part of how I see myself for so long, that I don’t know if I’m going to like what I see. It’s been long enough that I’ve forgotten how much of my condition is the withdrawals, and how much of it’s whatever happened to me from the cryogenics. I deserve to be as sick as possible, don’t I? There has to be a cost to me functioning normally. I can’t blame it on the chems, after I take the Addictol. I can’t blame it on something fixable, if I’m still sick. But… I’m done being scared of myself. Of how bad off I am.” He picked up the inhaler again and stared at it in his hands.

“You know I’m still here with you, every step. Even if dispatching your addictions doesn’t solve every health issue that ails you, I promise you that we will find something that will help you. We might even find something that cures you. There has to be something out there that can make it better, easier, for you, Sir. There must be.”

“Just having you here with me is a start,” he smiled. “The fact that despite everything I’ve done, you continue to have confidence that I can do better… You’ve been my everything, Angel. I mean that.”

“You can do it. I know you can.”

‘Choly exhaled his full breath, and, pinching his nose shut with one hand, he held the inhaler to his lips with the other. Depressing the ampuole into the actuator, he took its entire contents in one breath, and he set down the inhaler so he could clamp that hand over his mouth, to hold the aerosol medication in his lungs. He counted to ten, then another five for good measure, since it had so much damage to undo at once. When he finally exhaled, his head swam, and the humidity of the salty substance fogged up his glasses. After a minute, he looked at his hands, and then burst into laughter.

“Just what I was afraid of. I’m still me. Damn it!”

Angel unfroze once it realized he was kidding.

“–Oh, Sir. Thank you. This is the first step on you truly taking care of yourself. I’m so glad you have your humor about you. It’s a sign of good things. I could cry of happiness right now, had I the hardware for it.”

“Once I’ve finished my breakfast, and gotten myself presentable for the day, we should scout the immediate area for hubflower, now that I know what use it is. I’m certain with how many grew in the outskirts of Lexington, that there’s surely some around here. I’ll make a batch of fresh Melancholia this afternoon. I told you I’d make the first batch without it, and I will. But the flowers are just so beautiful. It wasn’t the chems talking, what made me gravitate toward them and start growing them. ”

“Just imagine. I know how you loved your gardening before the war, and I know how absolutely enthralled you were with the hubflowers. They are quite fetching a perennial, I must say. Imagine that we could get the garden thriving here again. Your flowerbeds! You could hedge the yard in hubflower, if you so desired it! And if you do see fit to continue including it in the ingredients of your meal replacement, you wouldn’t have to stray at all to collect it! And… you’d be surrounded by something you consider beautiful.”

“I gardened at the pharmacy because of how badly I missed it here,” ‘Choly admitted, starry-eyed. “Bozhemoy, Angel– I could have that here. We could. I know you loved the garden as much as I did. Between you and Sturges and the others, we just might have a real shot at making Sanctuary habitable again.”

“Most importantly, you haven’t mentioned yet.” It hovered nearer, its ocular lenses clustering near his face. “How are you feeling? Now that you’ve taken your medicine?”

He grinned, heavy-lidded, and caressed two of its three lenses as though to cradle its face in his hands.

“Like the lot of us can achieve just about anything.”

Go to Next »»»

[themarchblessing]

ACERCA DE TU MADRE

COREY

Beating on Brian’s door I continuously made my presence known waiting to see how annoyed he would get.

“Yo come the fuck on man! It’s early in the fucking morning!” He bitched. The door swung back and so did his fist. I caught it before he could get too close to my face laughing at how tired he looks. “Fuck is so funny?” He groaned nodding me inside.

“Yo ugly ass face and that childish ass temper. It’s going on one in the afternoon mother fucker, what’s got you so dead?” I asked going straight to his kitchen. I grabbed an apple throwing it at him knowing he wouldn’t see it coming. I also grabbed one to eat.

“What kind of magic pussy got you glowing like a fucking rainbow?” He chuckled staring at me across the counter.

Shrugging like I don’t know what he’s talking about I ate the apple in silence.

“Nigga I know you. You’ve been getting some ass on the regular from somebody and you’re not telling me. You’re a good liar but you used to be better.” Brian and I had a stare down only to share a laugh toward the end.

“Leave me alone B. Don’t worry about the pussy I’m getting. Are you getting any?” I eyed him with an arched brow.

He nodded to his room and that’s when I heard movement and a girl talking. He silently told me to wait as he dipped off and shut the door behind him. I made myself comfortable with his food and his home. So to sum to all that’s been going on Lori and I have been fucking every other day for the past month or so. The sex hasn’t changed from the morning after we went out and neither has anything else. I think she’s got my head in the clouds. Brian was onto something about magic pussy. That exactly what Sabrina has. Magic, beautiful, mind blowing pussy. It’s so crazy because I never thought that my wildest dream could become true.

I’m not sure what it is that we’re doing. But selfishly I like it for what it is. She’s still my friend. But she’s also how I get my rocks off. Sex with her takes my mind off of everything else. The only thing I seem to comprehend is that I get to revel in the company of my family a lot more these days. It’s like that night at the club pushed us in the direction we’re in now. As happy as I am to have what we have now I still feel guilty that I haven’t been truthful with her.

Opening the message she sent me this morning after she left I scanned over it smiling at how corny she is.

Lori: I miss u and we were just up there not even five minutes ago, what have u done to me Corey Howard????

To Lori: dick got your mind running in circles don’t it? when you coming back to me?

“Well this is a nice surprise.” A voice said from behind me. I turned around seeing an old face.

“Wow. It’s good to see you again. What are you doing around these parts? How you been though girl?” Standing up to give Carli a proper hug I saw Brian coming out of the room pulling a shirt over his head.

“I've been good. Med school is kicking my ass but I’m making it.” She smiled proudly.

Holding my chest in shock I took my seat back on the couch. “Med school huh?”

Carli sat down in the single seater couch, crossing her legs and buttoning her sweater down. “Yep. By this time in May of next year I’ll officially be a licensed cardiologist. The workload is a bitch but I’ve come too far to quit. How have you been Corey? I see you haven’t let go of my dumbs ass of a boyfriend.” She snickered.

“Living the dream. Wait..did you say boyfriend? Don’t tell me he’s hitting it raw? You need to make him work it Carli.” Kicking my feet up on the table I opened my messages back up.

“Oh I make his ass work for it don’t you worry. Excuse me for a second.” She left the room just as Bri was calling.

“You are a real comedian.” She giggled off the bat.

“But I’m right thought. What’s wrong? Are you okay?” Crossing my arm over my chest I listened to her move around.

“No nothing is wrong. I’m just so swamped with clients. I’m tired and I need a vacation. I can’t take Zay out of school but I need time to recoup, destress..” she sighed deeply.

“I don’t help you destress enough? I’m your personal physical therapist, psychiatrist and whatever the fuck else you need me to be aren’t I?” Sabrina laughed at my idiotic comment.

“Yes you’re all of those things Corey. I just need a change in scenery that’s all. I’ve got some vacation time I want to use. Can you getaway for a few days? If you don’t want-” Shutting her up I went to step out on the fire escape.

“I’ll take you anywhere you want to go. When do you want to leave? Tomorrow?” I asked.

“Thursday. I need to get some things in order for Zay and arrange for him to stay with Ray’s mom. I don’t even know where I want go. I haven’t been on my traveling status like you big boy so I’m kind of rusty.” Making a mental note in my head I leaned on the railing welcoming the breeze.

“Come over tonight. Or better yet let me come over. We’ve been busting up my mattress a lot lately. I need a change in scenery too, we’ll figure out where to go then. Is that ok with you?” Looking behind me I saw Carli and Brian telling me to come inside.

“Okay, you can come home with me tonight. I’d love to have you in my bed. Oh baby I miss you so much.” I detected a smile over the phone that made me do the same.

“It’s a date then. Look I gotta go but call me if you need anything and I’ll see you later.” Stepping back inside I shut and locked the door.

“I’ll keep that mind.” We ended our call. Sliding my phone in my pocket, I followed these two out in the hall. I have no idea what we’re about to get into but I hope I get free food.

“Another round?” The waitress asked.

“Yes please, thank you.” Brian smiled handing her some money. Brian and I have been giving Carli a tour of our home since she’s not from these parts. I’ve been keeping close track of the time so I can make sure to pick little man up from school on time. I volunteered for this responsibility and I like it. It gives me the chance to spend time with my son and embrace that fatherly role head on. Izaiah having my middle name as his first is beyond heartwarming. When Bri confessed to me what Zay’s name is and the root of it I couldn’t believe what she said. Even with miles between us and a two different time zones, she never forgot about me. And to my knowledge Zay doesn’t know that little piece of information yet. Maybe Bri and I can tell him together when she’s ready.

The waitress came back to the table with three drinks, setting them down easily. “There you guys are.” She left with Carli and Brian downing their shots in seconds.

“What’s wrong bro?” Brian asked taking me of my thoughts.

“What?” I sighed checking my watch again.

“I’m gonna step out. I gotta check on my mom.” Carli left the table leaving us be.

“Corey? What’s the matter man? You’ve been in your head for a minute now. What’s up with you? Who’s fucking with your head?” The concern in my nigga’s voice reassured me that he still cares about my well being.

Running my hands down my face I set my phone on the table and decided it’s time to come clean. “Sabrina. And she’s not fucking with my head, she’s just fucking me. Real good too. I figured out a little while ago that that Izaiah is my son but I haven’t told Bri told yet and I’m scared to. She’s not a spiteful woman so I doubt she’d take my son away from me. But me coming forward about what I did seven years ago might really upset her. The last thing I want her to do is be mad at me but I gotta expect the worst.” Taking a breath I watched Brian flip through emotions while staring at me dead pan.

“Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let me get this straight. You have a son with Sabrina but she doesn’t know it? You have a kid? You two are fucking but you’re still just friends? What the fuck man?! Why haven’t you told me any of this my nigga? We tell eachother everything..I’m your brother..” Brian tapped his fist angrily on the table staring at me with curious eyes.

“You don’t think I know that? It’s all confusing even for me. But yes that’s all of it. I’ve been trying to wrap my head around all this ever since I met up with Eva to confirm what I’ve been hearing. You, my dad, the woman on the train and every stranger that’s commented on the similarities between that little boy and I were right. I know for a fact Sabrina hasn’t picked up on anything. My life has changed Brian. A lot.” I explained seeing Carli come back in.

“Damn. You have a kid? This shit is crazy. Am I gonna get to meet him?” Brian pulled out Carli’s chair for her.

Nodding surely I messed around with the liquor still not interested in drinking it. “Yeah you’re gonna meet him. I just need to get some things in order first. It’s just crazy man. I completely forgot about that night at her birthday. If Eva had never met up with me I would’ve never got the answers I wanted. I was drunk off my ass at Bri’s party, I found the place she was holding onto that nigga sperm and ended up replacing it with mine. Why? Because my stupid ass spilled everything and called Eva to help me out so I could switch his..you know with mine. That’s how it happened. It’s the craziest fucking story but it’s the truth.”

The look on Carli’s face when she sat down humored me. She came back at the wrong time.

“Can I ask what you guys are talking about?” She asked shyly.

“Um..how I unknowingly became a dad at a party seven years ago that I had no recollection of until recently.” I summed up in a nutshell.

“You’re a dad? Aw that is so cute. What’s he like? Does he look like you?” Carli cooed with her hands folded under her face.

Opening up my pictures I pulled one up showing it to her. She scrolled for a minute with a sappy ass smile on her face.

“He’s so beautiful Corey and I definitely see him in you. Congratulations, daddy.” She chuckled making us all do it too.

“Thanks Carli. He makes happy in a way I can’t even explain. And don’t get started his mother. Man..” I can’t wait to see Sabrina tonight. I can’t wait to kiss her, I can’t wait to hug her, I can’t wait to see her smile, and I definitely can’t wait to blow her back out.

“Is that a fucking smile at the mention of her name? Are you blushing? You said y’all were just fucking but you’re in love brother. You love her and don’t lie to me.” Brian leaned across the table staring me down intensely.

Pushing his face back jokingly I checked the time again. “Leave me alone. Hey I gotta go but y’all be safe and enjoy the rest of your day ok? I’ll holla at you later B.” Leaving money on the table I stood up and put my jacket on. “See you later Carli, good to have you back and take care of this fool when I’m not around.” I left the bar and caught a cab back to Brian’s to retrieve my car. I got in quickly heading towards the school thinking about the day I got arrested and Zay taken from me. That was not only embarrassing but it scared me shitless. I don’t ever want to see my kid taken from me ever again for as long as I’m living.  When I put two and two together that Nikole planted that coke on me I felt my soul yearn to make sure she gets hers. But just having Izaiah back with Sabrina and that whole incident put behind us made me think. I’m too old now and I’ve got way too much to lose over some heartbroken, bitter ex of mine.

The anticipation of seeing Zay tempted me to speed but I controlled myself so I don’t get caught up again but with a real charge this time. When I got to his school I parked close so he’d see my car. I stood outside hoping not to attract too much attention to myself. After that day I’ve been keeping a low profile from these nut ass teachers. I don’t want to hear shit they have to say unless it’s about my son’s safety, education, and well-being. Spotting Izaiah in a crowd of kids I waited until they cleared out to walk closer so he didn’t have to come this far alone.

“Hey! You made it!” He grinned throwing himself into me.

I hugged him back turning to bring him over to the car. “How was school kid? Anybody mess with you?” Opening the door I helped him inside to get settled for this drive. Before we go to his moms I want to stop somewhere first.

“School was okay and no. Nobody bothered me. How was your day?” He rebutted buckling himself in. Checking to make sure he was all straight I closed the door and jogged around to the drivers side, hopping in fast. I put the car in drive and took off towards the city to do a little shopping.

“My day was okay. I went to see a friend of mine and that was about it. Let me ask you something Zay..” looking in the mirror I was glad to see him fully focused on me. “Does your mom talk to Julian a lot? Does he ever come by the house at all?” I asked.

“No. I never see him that much. I don’t really like him. He makes me uncomfortable.” Zay scrunched his face up in disgust.

Trying not to laugh I jumped on the highway to avoid the street lights. Zay and I bugged out the entire ride. We talked about a lot too. I swear spending time with him is like a blast from my own past. He’s so much like me and doesn’t even know it. We touched down on 5th Avenue and once I found a parking spot I exited the car and went to get Zay out from the back seat.

“Where are we going Corey?” He asked holding onto my hand as we walked towards the other side of the street.

“Well little man I need to do what I call early Christmas shopping.” Stopping by a trashcan I bent down to secure the switchblade strapped to my ankle. I also had to make sure the strap in the back of my pants was covered. Keeping a firm hold on Zay’s hand I stood to my feet, guiding him to our first stop.

“Are we shopping for mom?” He assumed.

“Yes. Do you pay attention to your mom and what she likes?” I want to pick his brain to see what he’s picked up on with his mother. I want to know what she’s like when I’m not around. Based on my own history with her I know the types of material things she likes most. But does our son pick up on anything?

“She loves shoes and jewelry and purses too. She really likes clothes but I don’t know much about that. I help her pick out her new clothes sometimes when she takes me the store with her.” He said as we reached Saks. I opened the door and walked in behind him with my hand to the back of his head.

Going over to the counter I grabbed a woman’s attention who just got off the phone. “Hi there, how can I help you?” She asked.

“Yeah I called a few hours ago about some items I wanted put on hold for my wife.” I began. I looked down to see Izaiah looking around the store with curiosity radiating off of him as to what’s all here.

“Oh yes that’s right. What we’re calling about? I want to make sure we get you everything you need.” I went through the list of shoes and handbags I requested watching her head off to the back afterward. I also asked her to gift wrap each item too so Sabrina can’t see what everything is right off the bat.

“This is all for mommy? Why buy her so much?” Izaiah asked sitting next to me on the chair.

“I do this all the time for your mom Zay. She’s not the type of girl to ask for anything, she just works hard for what she wants and buys everything herself. She probably will never tell you this but we have a weird relationship. She doesn’t have to do anything, I just spoil her because I want to. I love taking care of her and getting whatever she needs and wants.” Seeing the woman come over to me with five boxes and two bags I met her halfway and took them off her hands.

“Your wife is a very lucky woman. Thank you so much for choosing us to bless her with these gifts, I know she will love them. And I’m so glad we could help you Mr. Howard.” She smiled.

“I don’t doubt that she will and thank you.” Turning around I saw Izaiah going over to the door to hold it open for me. “Thanks kid.” We walked back to my car so I could put these bags inside and afterward we went right back to another store. If there’s one lesson I can hopefully teach my kid it’s to treat the woman you care about with the highest level of respect. My dad taught me the values of being a man and how treat women. He told me to never let my woman forget how special she is to me. I’m always good with my words and actions but I like spoiling the women in my life if they’re worthy of it.

Sabrina and every other girl from my past got close to the same amount of treatment. If I’m treated how I’m supposed to be then I give it right back. If not, well fuck you. But for Sabrina, I’ll do anything for her. I always have. Her past boyfriends have all been jealous of me because of how close we were. We never fucked around back then. When she was seeing somebody I didn’t blow up her phone, stop by unannounced, or make it obvious that I took care of her in ways her niggas didn’t. I never made a pass at her. I came to her when she asked me to and respected every relationship she ever had before ours. The respect we’ve carried for one another while in and out relationships over the years has been equal. That’s never changed. She treats me nice so I return the courtesy back to her.

By the time Zay and I finished up going in and out stores it was after eight o’clock. I took him out to eat to take a weight off Bri’s shoulders. I do all that I can because I genuinely care about him. Nobody but my father, Eva, Carli and Brian know of his relation to me. No matter how long it takes me to come clean I’m going to own up to my responsibility as a father. I don’t need guidance on how to take care of him when it’s just us two. He tells me everything that I could possibly need to know about him as far as the basics go. Anything else I learn through Sabrina.

“That pizza was so good! I like mushroom on pizza now, thanks for the advice. Mom hates mushrooms so much so I don’t ever have to share that pizza with her..” Izaiah laughed as I pulled into Sabrina’s driveway.

“Oh yeah? I’m glad you liked it. You ate four slices of pizza boy how the hell did you manage that?” Shutting my car down I went around to the other side to get Zay out of the back.

“I had a lot of room for the food. What can I say?” He refuted, closing the door on his side. I took out all of the bags and handed some of the lighter ones to him.

“And I bet you’ll eat again if your mama asks you if you’re hungry won’t you?” Teasing him is so much fun.

“I just might. Did you call mom to tell her we’re here?” He asked as walked up to the front door.

“Yeah I called her. I hope she’s still up.” Pulling out my phone I told Zay to knock on the door while I waited to see if Bri would pick up the phone.

“I’m coming!” We heard her yell getting closer to the door. Sliding my phone in my pocket I looked at the sky seeing that it’s pitch black out. The door opened up and we were face to face with Sabrina wearing a bathrobe. Clearly we interrupted her. “Come on, I’m freezing.” She hid behind the door so we could walk inside. Zay sat down the bags he was holding by the door and shut the door behind us. “Where have you guys been? What is all of this?” She shivered closing her robe tighter.

“We went shopping. I missed you mama.” Zay ran to her, hugging her with a death grip.

“Aw baby I missed you too. I missed both of you. How was school?” She looked up at me and mouthed a ‘thank you’. Nodding, I walked to her room placing the bags on the floor by her bed. The scent coming from the bathroom peaked my interest. I went in to see that she was in the middle of setting a bath for herself. She’s got candles and incense burning. Even the oil burner is going to.

“Same old Sabrina.” I mumbled going back to her room. I took the blade out of my shoe, the gun from out the back of my pants and set them in the top drawer of her dresser out of Izaiah’s reach. Next I stripped down until I was comfortable placing my clothes on an empty chair.

Sabrina has a lot to open so to make this process easier I separated the boxes from the bags and lined them up across her bed.

“Thank you once again for picking him up.” She said from behind me. Looking over my shoulder I turned around to see her robe slipping from her shoulders.

Taking a seat on her bed I tiredly waved her over. She immediately hugged me, her robe fanning open. “Tired?” She slid her hands in the back of my shirt, rubbing my back and shoulders without me having to tell her I’m in pain.

Lazily I wrapped my arms around her waist, closing my eyes to block out any source of light. “Physically. How was the rest of your day?” I questioned, groaning at how amazing she is with her hands.

“Kind of hectic. I don’t want to talk about work ok?” She picked up my head and caressed the side of my face with care. “You’re staying tonight right? Like we discussed earlier on the phone?” The inquisitiveness in her face and voice clarified where Izaiah gets that trait from. Straight from the source.

Nodding yes I picked her up off the floor and onto my lap. Brushing some loose strands of hair from her face I silently counted my blessings for this woman in front of me.

“What’s wrong? Why are you looking at me like that? Is there something you want to tell me?” She searched my eyes back and forth tickling my sense of humor at how curious and concerned she is. Forever in her mommy role.

“No baby I’m fine. I just like looking at you. Sometimes it doesn’t feel real.” I admitted, kissing her exposed chest and neck.

“Mmm..” she moaned running her fingers through my hair. “Esto es real. Tú y yo. Entiendes?” She exhaled sinking further into my lap.

“I hear you. Where’s Izaiah?” Backing up to see her face again I removed the clip from her hair, placing it on the bed behind me.

“He’s in the bathtub. I told him I’d be back. Did you guys eat already? I wasn’t sure if either of you had.” She kissed my forehead saving my lips for last.

“Yeah we did. Did you?” I returned the concern and stood up to place her on her feet.

“Yeah I’m fine. Do you want to help Izaiah get ready for bed for me? It’d mean a lot to me.” She stared at me with pleading eyes knowing she didn’t really have to ask that.

“I don’t mind. Go finish getting your bath ready, I’ll come back when I’m done.” Ushering her off to the bathroom I left the room to see what Zay was up to. I found him sitting on the edge of the bathtub with his towel wrapped around his body. Knocking on the door he looked up at me hugging himself tighter. “You ok?” Going in I picked him up off the rim and carried him down to his room.

“Yeah I’m all done. Is mom taking her bath now?” He shivered laying his head on my shoulder. Cutting on the light to his room I went to his closet to find him something to wear to bed.

“Yeah she’s in there right now. What you want to wear to bed?” I helped him pick out something to wear and got him dressed. He’s now sitting in my lap messing with and examining my watch. I adore that he’s fascinated with the littlest things. Since I’ve only got one free arm I used my available hand to sort the his curls like Bri continues to tell me after he gets his baths. I don’t complain or argue with her I just take heed to the advice and follow through.

“Has she opened her presents?” Zay asked setting my arm down and holding still so I could finish sorting through his hair. I picked up the towel, being gentle with taking out some of the water so he doesn’t soak his pillows.

“Not yet. I’ll have her open them once she’s in bed. She needs to get off her feet first. Go find you some socks to put on.” Setting him on his feet I watched him open the third drawer from the top and pull out a blue pair of socks. I saw the words ‘San Diego Zoo’ written on the sole of each halve.

Zay climbed up on the bed and rushed to slide his feet into the socks with no second thought.

“Wait..” pushing the lotion in his direction I laughed at his frown as he removed the socks and put lotion on both feet. When he put the socks back on I heard Sabrina talking. I’m not able to make out what she’s saying but I know she’s talking to someone or herself. “I’ma go check on your mom ight? Do whatever you want but stay in here or else she’s gonna be nagging us at the same time about how you aren’t in bed. You understand?” Kissing the crown of his head stood up and stretched my limbs.

“Corey..”

Turning around I dropped my arms and shoved my hands in my pockets. “What’s up?”

“Thanks for taking care of me and my mom.” Izaiah stood at the edge of his bed outstretching his arms to pull me into him. “I love you.” He mumbled turning his head to the side so he didn’t suffocate in my chest.

“I love you too man. I always will.” We hugged for another minute separating to do our own thing. Leaving his room I walked down the hall thinking about what he just told me. I wonder how my parents felt the first time I told them ‘I love you’. I didn’t put any thought into wanting to hear Zay tell me how he feels about me. But now that he has I feel really good about the growth of our relationship. “Lori?” Pushing her bathroom door open I went to disturb her knowing she would just get freaked out.

“You’re not scaring me this time. I heard you come in. Izaiah’s in bed?” She asked curling her legs up to her chest tipping her head back to get a good look at me. I stood behind her looking at her face upside down.

“Yeah he’s in bed. I told him he can do whatever as long as he doesn’t leave the room. I hope that’s okay. Sometimes I don’t know what to tell him when he’s here because I don’t want go around whatever routine you usually stick with.” Getting down to her level I kissed her, holding the sides of her face.

“Don’t worry about that. We don’t have any established routine.” Sabrina ended her bath and took a shower with me where we got in one round since the water would help drown out any noise coming from her.  Once we were done I gave her specific instructions not to put any clothes on. I bought something from earlier that I want to see her in.

The bathroom door opened up and out came Bri wearing a different robe.

“Ok, what’s with the no clothes rule?” She instantly asked walking over to the bed, not bothering to sit down. I slid the smallest box over to her watching her open it and take everything out. This first box contains four different color lingerie pieces. I didn’t need any help picking these out from the associates at the store. I went around Bri to found out what size she is and found the perfect what they call ‘teddy’s’ for her. “Babe..why did you get me four? And how did you know what colors to get?” She looked in awe over everything.

“I just went with what I think would look good with your skin tone. Go put the black one on.” I suggested, reaching across the bed and separating the piece I want to see her in tonight. Sabrina hid out in the bathroom while I waited for her reveal herself. The door opened back up and I swear just seeing her in this is making my mind go to some dark places. “You like it or no? You can be honest Sabrina.” I advised standing up and walking over to her.

Grabbing her hand I spun her around in a slow twirl to get a good look at her. Damn she is one fine piece of ass. I mean that respectfully.

“I love it. It’s prefect and it’s surprisingly very comfortable for lace. You did good.” Sabrina patted my back, walking to the bed, going to open more boxes. I stood behind her just admiring the view. “Oh my goodness..look at this..” She exclaimed.

Breaking my stare of her ass I came to realize she was holding one of the purses up in the air . I never moved from this spot just so I can watch her open her gifts like it’s Christmas morning. When she had everything lined up across the bed she turned around to face me.

“Come here..” She hummed reaching for my hands. I closed our distance glancing at all that I bought her. “I love you so much you know that right?” She smirked toying with the hem of my shirt.

“I know you do.” I replied just to be a smart ass.

”Listen to me and listen to me good, I love you not because you buy me things, expensive things at that. It’s because you really know how to treat women Corey. Thank you for everything. I love the bags, I really love the shoes and this..” She touched the outfit she had on. “These are so beautiful. I just have one question though..” She yawned, taking my shirt up and over my head.

Dropping my arms I pushed her back to the point she was laying on top of her things. “What’s that?” I mumbled, lowering my body to trap her in place. I went straight for her neck attacking her warm skin with kisses. Sabrina has really sensitive skin so she can only use one kind of soap. I don’t know where she gets it from but I love that it smells like strawberries. And when she uses it, she smells like strawberries and vanilla. It never fails to turn on me now that I get to enjoy her on a more intimate level.

“How much?” She moaned, slipping her hands in between us to unbutton my pants.

“It doesn't matter. Hold that thought..” I groaned wishing I didn’t have to stop. Standing up on my feet I held onto my pants to run down the hall to check on Zay. Sabrina and I are still figuring out what we’re doing and that means Izaiah can’t see me pushing up on his mom. Let alone fucking her so we have to be careful at all costs. At least until we can figure out what to tell him. He was lying on his stomach sound asleep, snoring lightly. “Just like your old man.” I mumbled to myself. I cut his tv off, his light and left his door open a little so he’s not completely in the dark.

Quietly I went back to Sabrina’s room shutting her door behind me.

“I really really like this one..” She said closing a box. I turned to see her wearing a different outfit that made my dick jump. She chose the pink one that has no sleeves, all lace.

Locking the door I dropped my pants and threw them on the chair with my other clothes. “But pink isn’t your color though right? Tell another lie.” Laughing with her at the memory I closed in on her picking her up off the floor before she could do or say anything.

“Certain shades of pink don’t look good on me, that’s what I said.” She corrected herself as I laid her down with ease. Izaiah telling me that he loved got me thinking. About everything and what the future holds. “Hey..” Bri cupped my face in her hand with a serious look of concern on her face. “What is it now?” She sat up from underneath me, tucking her hair behind her ear.

“He told me he loved me. And I don’t know why but it kind of scared me.” Laying down next to her I tucked my hands behind my head watching Bri lean on me.

“Why?” She whispered.

“I have no idea. I know I probably shouldn’t care much but I feel like I’m lying to him about what we are. And I know that we haven’t figured out much but I think for his sake we should.” Lifting Bri onto my lap I relaxed and let her take charge doing whatever she wants.

Reaching over to her bedside table, Lori picked up a rubber band, tying her hair into a high ponytail. “We will figure this out ok, you and me. But in order for that to happen you need a clear head and that’s where I come in. So just relax, I don’t want to hear another word out of your mouth unless you’re doing what I tell you. Entiendes mi amor?” She advised sternly.

I tried sitting up but she slapped both hands on my chest making me lay back. “Yes ma’am.” I groaned.

“That’s what I thought.” She smirked, stripping me of my clothes, throwing everything to the floor. She took her time warming me up for what’s coming my way. I never took my eyes off of her. I barely flinched at the feel of her nails tickling my inner thigh. My dick in the comfort of her mouth is the perfect start to a wonderful night.

[thepilotanon]

Prelude xii

...for a horrific malady {masterlist}

I’ve been super busy with a lot of outside work and life in general, so I hope you will enjoy this chapter and will let me know what you think! Your patience and support really means a lot to me.

warning: minor violence, depiction of death.

It was rare for someone to call Commander Kylo Ren through the commlink, requesting his presence immediately. Not even the General, Captain or Head Officers bothered to alert Kylo for anything else that wasn’t on his schedule and he happen to be one minute behind…

So, when the medical assistant from Starkiller Base’s medbay alerted him while he was officially closing the first section of the superweapon underground, seeing the section on his holopad, the young man didn’t waste another breath as he made his way back to his secluded quarters.

Inside the locked off hallway, Kylo found the remains of the medical droid implanted into the solid wall and the medical assistant keeping distance from Nova, who was huddled in a corner farthest away. His visors only seeing her standing stiff, her arms wrapped tightly around herself, Kylo’s helmet head snapped sharply to the male assistant. The poor creature jumped with fear as the Commander marched right up to him and shoved him against the wall, leather gloves fisting the medical uniform as he stared down to the other. Tears were emerging in his wide eyes and his knees rattled, and Kylo wouldn’t doubt that the nurse would be so close to pissing himself.

“What happened here?” Kylo seethed darkly, lifting the man to his toes by his shirt.

The nurse swallowed thickly, trying to speak. “I-I was r-r-requested b-by the d-droid to c-c-come and...h-help w-with…” The man began hyperventilating, and Kylo eventually dropped him before shooting his hand towards the other’s head. Peeling the frightened man’s mind apart, ignoring his cry, Kylo collected the images and voices of what led up to the situation now.

He found the nurse using the emergency code to enter the hallway to find Nova arguing with the medical droid who was holding out the pill container. Nova told the man that she didn’t need the sleeping pill, claiming that she was tired enough to sleep on her own, and how the droid was refusing to leave her alone. As the nurse was calmly trying to assist, the droid made a move with its other robotic hand to grab Nova’s throat, claiming how she must take the medicine -

A snap from Nova using the Force out of fear from the threatening touch, the droid was shoved halfway through the wall and the nurse fell back in terror. Realizing what she had done, Nova demanded that the nurse called for Kylo. She wasn’t mad or threatening to the nurse, no, but she was a bit surprised by her sudden actions bringing back negative memories. Kylo knew this, and it still didn’t deter his anger about the situation being forced upon her.

“All this over a pill she said she didn’t need to take?” Kylo growled and the nurse sobbed when he was finally released from the painful procedure. “If she says she doesn’t need it, then don’t let the droid force it upon her!”

“H-her file s-says t-t-to keep dosage f-for safety,” he tried to explain. “Withdrawal s-so sudden… It c-could be d-dangerous. W-we will fix it w-with the h-head doctor, I-I-I swear, please!”

Seeing the weak man offer the pill container, Kylo held still for a moment before snatching the bottle from him. “Get out.”

The nurse fled as quick as possible when the sliding door opened, and Kylo didn’t hesitate to use the short time frame to Force lift the remains of the med droid and throw it out of the hallway. The door eventually closed, sealing away the shocked faces of officers and BB units beeping curiously to the corpse of the medical droid. Punching his code to the panel to override the lock to keep anyone out, Kylo turned back from the closed door and made his way over to the still woman leaning against the opposite side.

Nova wasn’t shaking or behaving off, just irritated and upset by the ordeal she went through. As soon as Kylo stood in front of her, she pressed her face into his clothed chest and gripped his cape tightly. Tilting his helmet down to watch her, Kylo brought his free hand up to rest between her shoulder blades, making her exhale stressfully. He could feel her exhaustion when she projected it to him, letting the weight of his palm on her back attempt to soothe her temper.

“I do not want to take the pill,” she said. “I’m already tired. I’m too tired to take it, I do not need it.”

“You heard what he said, Nova,” Kylo tried to reason with her as serious as possible. Sneaking the hand from her back to tilt her chin up, he observed the slight shadows under her sparkly eyes and how tired she looked. “Decreasing the dosage that suddenly can affect your health, if you don’t do it properly.”

Kylo has noticed her becoming tired more easily as of late, often returning home with him and not having a desire to eat all of her dinner. Usually, Nova was very excited to consume all of her food, but now she had no enthusiasm to eat nearly half of her portion. When she used to wake at the early morning cycle with no problem - sometimes even before Kylo - was now replaced with Nova struggling to wake up easily or requesting him to let her have another moment to close her eyes. She also has been using her silver whistle during training more often, and lacking her enthusiasm in sparring with others or with him in meditating. A bit slow and jerky, Nova had slowly showed her changing behavior through the past week and Kylo had been keeping an eye on her about it. He knew of the common symptoms of the everlasting snow blizzards causing people to become depressed and tired with the constant darkness and lack of fresh air, and he wondered if Nova was having the same issue. Kylo had requested her food portions to provide more vitamins and nutrients for her immune system, but with her lack of eating…

“Come along, love,” Kylo urged softly, his voice modulator crackling with his gentle tone. Bringing his hand down to take hers, he led her to the door that brought them into their quarters and to his side of the room. Having her sit on his bed while he removed his helmet to put aside, Kylo knelt down in front of her with his knees on the floor.

Nova yawned and rubbed under her eyes sorely, looking to the single pill with absolute disgust upon seeing it in his hand. Kylo followed her gaze and rest his other hand on her covered knee, his thumb brushing the curve as he looked at her with careful eyes, giving her patience and his sole attention.

“You need to take the pill tonight and get some sleep,” he spoke to her carefully. “I will send a message right now to the medbay doctor to change the dosage to reduce the sleeping medicine this very instant, but I need you to take this one tonight to keep flow for the withdrawal. You haven’t been feeling well lately, so please understand how serious this can be if we’re not careful. Do you understand, my darling?”

Sighing, Nova nodded with a small pout. “I scared that man, but I didn’t mean to...I’m sorry I broke the droid, Kylo.”

Taking her hand in his, he pressed a soft kiss to her knuckles. “Don’t worry about it, alright? It was just a stupid hunk of metal with terrible programming. Let me run you a warm bath to calm down before taking the pill.”

Kylo did so, letting her sit in the heated water to wash the stress of the day off and change into comfortable sleepwear. He had to get her to take the pill with her last attempt to refuse, giving her the glass of water and kissing her forehead as a reward when she swallowed the nasty medicine with a sickly expression. Pulling the blankets back and taking off his shirt for his turn in the refresher while Nova tucked herself in, Kylo turned for only a few minutes before finding his woman completely passed out with just her feet under the blankets. He was careful to brush wet strands out of her face, frowning when she didn’t flinch or react from the unexpected touch to her cheek. Not even within five minutes of consuming the pill, this was perhaps the quickest he has seen Nova asleep from the effects.

Taking a deep breath, Kylo brought the blanket up to her shoulder to ensure she was warm and comfortable before standing up. Sensing her Force signature seeming to cling on to his, he told himself that he was going to keep the refresher door open, incase she needed him for anything until he would join her in bed.

Monitoring Nova as soon as he would wake up from his habitual sleeping pattern, Kylo kept himself more close to watching her constant as possible, and keeping himself open to her presence. He would greet her carefully with gentle hands and a soft voice, letting her know that he was there while tracing the visible purple-colored veins emerging under her eyes and holding her shaky fingers against his cheek when she would return the gesture. Kylo would ask her how she was feeling as often as possible throughout the day, keeping mental note of the progress as the messages from the doctor approved of the reduced dosage and a new medical droid delivering the modified pills accordingly. He made sure she would eat the foods that provide vitamins and drinking fluids, yet there hasn’t been much improvement.

Watching as Nova blew the whistle between her lips from the board room above, Kylo made sure that she was provided with fresh water during her training with the stormtroopers. She was a lot more mobile today than usual, promising him that she was fine to direct the cadets better than sitting to the side and pointing things out - although he assumed it was because he informed her that he was shortening their own personal training sessions, and she didn’t like that. He couldn’t read any projections from her, much less sense anything off emitting from her or requesting access. Kylo had often had to approach her physically to remind her of his presence, as if she blanked out for a moment and forgot.

Still, as he followed an officer on a overhead balcony over the training area, his head was turned to keep his eyes on his significant other as she waved her arms to direct two stormtroopers into position, switching them to show her how their fighting patterns have improved from last time. He was only pretending to listen to the chattering officer on information to the next section of the construction plan he already knew way before, only doing as his scheduled told him to, as it was written by his Master.

Yeah, Kylo wasn’t paying attention to the officer.

Nova saw something with the two stormtroopers that made her blow her whistle for them to halt immediately. Getting up from her crouched position and making her way over, Kylo watched her speak with the whistle dangling from her lips between the two, with small hand gestures to their shoulders and abdomen in direction…

The stormtrooper holding a sparring staff was unknowingly projecting worry, making Kylo halt in his steps immediately. There was something wrong, and it was directed on the subject of the woman mentoring the group of EN Units.

Listening in closer to the one’s thoughts, Kylo heard the other verbally point out the dazed look in Nova’s eyes and the precipitation forming visibly on her forehead. Seeing her seem to slouch to one side for a split second, Kylo’s shoulders squared as he narrowed in on a set of stairs to hurry to her aid as he recognized the early stage of passing out. The officer who was speaking to him finally noticed the lack of the Commander behind him, turning around to call for his attention.

Kylo shoved the officer out of the way and ran towards the stairs when Nova collapsed to her knees, the stormtroopers nearby catching her arms to keep her upright.

“We have you all nice and hooked up to this tool called and IV,” the male doctor, Antona, explained to Nova as she was reclined in bed, lifting and dropping her whole arm that had curious tubes and patches sticking to her skin. Chuckling at the woman’s curiosity from the moment she woke up, the dark haired man was careful to halt her from fiddling any more by hovering his hand over her own. “Please, do not play around with it. It is helping provide extra fluid and medicine to you without you needing to consume anything.”

“It’s feeding me?” the apprentice asked with a disbelief look in her tired eyes. The doctor nodded and the woman trailed her eyes up the clear tube to look at the bag filled with clear liquid and the different machines monitoring her heart and breathing levels. “I don’t need to take any more of those gross pills?”

“Not while you’re in the medbay, Nova. Is it alright for me to call you that?” Doctor Antona asked politely at her level, kneeling down all while Kylo sat on the other side of the medbay bed she was stationed into, on a chair close to her. Kylo wasn’t touching her, his helmet keeping his stare on the doctor to see that he does the same as well; so far, his impression on the doctor was neutral. He was kind to Nova and made sure she was comfortable in the new environment, and he was sure to keep in contact with him as soon as he was instructed to leave.

Doctor Antona was someone to trust, and Nova also knew that and shared that thought with him through the Force.

Nova nodded, and it made the doctor relax. “Thank you, Nova. Now, I already have a new blood sample that I am going to study personally, just to see if there is anything unusual going on that the droids and nurses are not picking up. We have been having cases of head colds and flus among the stormtroopers, so this may just be a minor issue, with you being up-to-date with all your vaccines. I will alert the Commander accordingly to anything I may do and ensure you also give me consent; I understand that you aren’t quite comfortable with people in the medbay, but I assure you that it will only be me, my assistant and smaller droids.”

“Not the droids that will want to give me medicine…” Nova spoke warily.

Doctor Antona shook his head. “These will only come in periodically only to check the machines, to update your file, and let me know if there is any sudden changes. They won’t touch you without your permission.”

The room’s door slid open and a woman with freckled skin, red hair and wickedly green eyes, wearing a similar First Order MB uniform to Doctor Antona walked into the room. She only spared the Commander a short, respectful nod of greeting before the standing man beckoned her over closer, all while Nova openly stared at the quiet woman.

“Nova, this is my assistant, Mara,” Doctor Antona introduced. “She will have access here to tend to your IV and any other medications you need to feel better, alright? Do not hesitate to request for either of us, should you need anything, otherwise the machines will alert if there is an emergency.”

“Your IV will be changed to provide you with the proper dose of sleeping medicine, as Doctor Antona prescribed soon, hopefully, within the next hour to give you enough sleep while you take in more fluids before testing,” Mara spoke with a neutral voice, and Kylo wondered if she would be patient and kind to Nova as her superior was. He couldn’t sense much from the redhead, making him wonder if she was from the training facility not too long ago before being taken under the doctor’s wing. Still, he was more focused on the patient than to meddle into other people’s heads at the moment.

Looking to the Commander, Doctor Antona dipped his head to Kylo. “Sir, should you need any sort of update on Nova’s condition at any time, you can look into her file through the holopad after visiting hours. You have complete access, as requested.”

Kylo gave him a single nod before the two medical professions made their way out of the room. Waiting until the door closed, Kylo turned his helmet to see Nova gazing curiously back up to the IV. Her thoughts bubbling with an idea, Kylo sighed through his nose and reached to rest his gloved hand on her bicep to pull her out of her thoughts. Once Nova turned her cheek his way on the pillow, she pretended that she wasn’t feeling as ill as she truly was and gave him a soft smile.

“Don’t think about playing with that,” he warned her, his vocoder making it sound more threatening than necessary, yet the woman just shrugged. “I mean it, Nova. Don’t make me come here in the middle of the night cycle, because you ripped all the IVs and patches off.”

“I won’t… I don’t think I’ll like sleeping here, though,” she admitted with a small frown, looking away from him. She was still dressed in her sleeveless uniform and still had her boots on ontop of the bed. Kylo knew what she was saying, having been on the beds and cots before and dreaded his time on the hard mattress and oddly-smelling blankets. The sheets were itchy and the room reeked of disinfectant and latex, a very uncomfortable combination. Nova had denied being stripped, not really wanting anyone to remove her clothes and see the hidden horrors on her skin to strangers, yet she projected her thoughts to Kylo on how she wished he would hold her instead and bring them both back to their quarters for solitude and low lights.

His thumb tracing a very faint scar on her arm, barely visible, Kylo leaned his other elbow on the edge of the crinkled bedding. “I know, Nova, but this is for your health. I would rather have you come back comfortable and healthy, and not falling down again.”

Despite her ailing complexion, Nova’s cheeks went red with embarrassment as she refused to look at him. Kylo reached over, sensing that no one was aiming to disturb this room or coming anywhere near the room, and gently turned her head to look back up to his empty mask. Getting up from his reserved spot on the chair, Kylo bent his back forward as he carefully touched the rim of the top visors with her forehead and the tip of her nose on his mouth cover. All while she finally kept her eyes on him and staring where his eyes would be, her mind poking him at how she wished his helmet was removed so she could kiss his nose or cheeks, making him smile a bit behind his shield.

“If you behave and get better, you may give me plenty and receive even more to make up for lost time,” he told her and she was quick to smile again with a joyful spark in her eye that made his heart flutter. “Relax now, and I’ll come to see how you are in the morning. They will be bringing the IV containing the sleeping medicine for you shortly.”

“I won’t like sleeping without you by my side, just to let you know. I’ll do it, but I will not like it,” Nova stated to him when he slowly pulled back, and he nodded. “And you will come see me as soon as you can?”

“I will reach out to you through the Force, if should your file show any signs of you being stressed or uncomfortable.”

Kylo read over Nova’s medical file that was being updated as a feed every half hour, as the droids checked in on her IV and machines that checked her heart, lungs, brain pattern and breathing. He had the screen lit up on his bed while he sat on the floor with the next process of construction that he would leave in the middle to go back to the Supremacy, maps of the underground system Kyber mines and machinery that would be shipped down.

It was the second night since Nova’s admission to the medbay and Kylo had kept to his promise in spending his early mornings and late evenings to see her and keep her entertained in a professional setting. Knowing that the two still had to keep their relationship a secret, he had to settle with mental conversations and shared images while she remained on her back on the uncomfortable bed. He couldn’t see much of an improvement, even though Doctor Antona has claimed that she is taking in her fluids perfectly healthy, and yet the shadows under her eyes were still evident and her smiles remained tired. The blood sample Antona had was still in the process of being studied by him, apparently having found something he hadn’t seen before on Starkiller Base, and would alert Kylo as soon as he had answers.

‘It can’t be anything threatening, if she’s completely conscious like she is. Her vitals from the machines are all healthy, which is a very good sign,’ Doctor Antona had said assuringly to the masked Commander earlier, still promising to keep working on the sample while Mara went to change the IV bag periodically.

Nova didn’t complain a bit about her physical comfort, just smiling to Kylo and teasing him to take off his helmet for her own amusement. He could sense she was a bit sore sleeping on her back, and ordered one of the droids to bring an extra pillow for her back, which Nova puffed her cheeks as he stuffed it under her. Despite her sickly appearance and extreme lack of appetite, she seemed perfectly healthy to him and just wanted to go back to their quarters. Mara had to remind her, rather blunt and serious, that Nova was to remain in her position until Doctor Antona says she may be discharged.

At the end of his evening visit, Kylo promised her that he will be keeping track of her progress and bring her something to amuse herself with the next morning. The woman only sighed in response, nodding her head before mumbling how she just wants to share a bed with him again. Kylo could only suffice her needs by touching his helmet with the curve of her forehead and brush his gloved hand to her cheek, promising her that it will come soon enough. It didn’t seem to trick the other apprentice as he had hoped, yet she nuzzled him back briefly before he left.

Everything was fine. That’s what everyone was telling Kylo with honesty, and he could sense it in them as he dug a bit to ensure that they were all telling the truth...

Still, it wasn’t going to stop Kylo’s eyes from darting periodically to his holopad.

Zeroing in on Nova’s Force wall still surrounding the quarters, Kylo pushed out to find Nova from across the Starkiller Base. He released a soft breath when he felt her signature instantly reach out to his and held on in a excited leap, melting against his Force signature rather affectionately as it told him that she was currently asleep. Minding the time of the cycle, the Commander was glad that the woman was sleeping, allowing his Force to embrace hers carefully as he went back to reading the files of the head of construction carefully. Still dressed in his uniform, his helmet off to the side, Kylo Ren flipped through one construction set before finding the file he was suppose to look over. Being able to only get through one file before there was a alert on the pad near the door, stealing his attention, the task was forgotten.

Frowning, the young man got to his feet and approached the pad to see someone was requesting access into the private hall. Swiping the screen, Kylo’s eyes narrowed as he saw Doctor Antona waiting with a tight line on his lips while outside the other door.

Leaving the quarters, only helmetless from his uniform, Kylo opened the locked door and looked down to the doctor jumping out of nerves. The Commander decided to ignore the panicked look on his face and stood there, waiting.

“Doctor Antona,” Kylo eventually spoke as the older man swallowed and took a deep breath.

“Commander Ren, I have information of the blood sample I took from Nova, and need to speak with you as soon as I possibly can,” he said in a whisper, despite barely anyone out in the halls at this time of night.

Narrowing his eyes, Kylo sensed the doctor’s panic, yet he couldn’t place it anywhere specific without causing discomfort to his target. Eventually taking a step aside, Kylo allowed the doctor to enter through the threshold before closing the door sharply.

“Start speaking,” Kylo demanded.

“I have found something unusual from the sample; something that should have not been capable to catch from the Supremacy nor from Starkiller Base. It appears that Nova has contracted a very rare virus that is said to be extinct,” Doctor Anatona fretted quickly. “If I haven’t heard of it before, then there would have been an even greater damage done to her, if we do not act soon.”

“What?”

“Long before either you or I were born, there was a airborne disease that only targeted beings that hold abilities, such as the old Jedi Knights,” Antona began as he pulled out a bacta pump filled with murky, dark fluid from his doctor’s coat. “It would kill the victims within a few days, but, from my studies on Nova’s sample these last couple days, she has had it for more than six months…”

Kylo’s nose scrunched with fury as he glared at the bacta pump in the doctor’s hands. “And what is that suppose to be?”

“The vaccine, sir. I was able to swipe some chemicals from the medbay lab and bring it to my own personal unit, along with Nova’s sample as an antibody. It’s enough to sustain her and stop the virus before getting her into a tank,” Antona spoke quickly. Looking to the Commander, it was obvious that he was trying to hurry with the explanation. “This will kill the virus in her body, but she needs it now before -”

The lights inside the hallway shut down, swarming the two in pitch black darkness that scared the doctor into silence and the Commander to lift his head up to look around. It was odd to him, as if the presence surrounding the quarters was different…

Kylo couldn’t sense Nova’s Force signature.

The overhead speaker clicked on, and Kylo’s frown deepened to a more expressive state as the monotone voice of a droid emerged. “All certified squad units please report to stations. Starkiller Base on lockdown, this is not a drill. All certified squad units are to report to designated pin and ready at Section I-J, Number 1-8-9-1. Starkiller Base on lockdown, this is not a drill.”

“Section…” Kylo snarled as he slashed his hand out to force the chrome doors open with a aggravated hiss. Antona jumped at the sound as the red lighting of the backup generators for the lockdown hummed to life while the Commander stalked out of the hallway in a fast pace.

The doctor was quick to follow after the young man as they trekked nearly halfway through the main base towards the medbay; stormtroopers marching and cluttering the closer they got until they passed the main entrance of the desk to see the damage.

Dead nurses and doctors littered the wreckage of the secluded medbay unit, and droids shattered to nothing but bolts and electric screws. The hallway was messed with broken glass and dented walls, as if someone rammed themselves against it, and the called units were busy scrambling to carry off the deceased and see further into the situation. Kylo didn’t pay them any mind as he marched through and made a direct line towards the one room he cared for, all with the doctor calling behind him and the stormtroopers trying to stop him.

Nova’s room was borderline unrecognizable. The bed was flipped over and crushed like an aluminum can and the IV bag that was once connected to the patient appeared to have exploded, now dripping the fluid from the bent pole it was hooked on. The machines were sparking electric sparks from the exposed wires, making a dangerous hazard to any exposed skin coming close to it. Kylo’s bare eyes scanned the room with blazing fire within them, his chest starting to rise and fall rapidly as he pushed his Force out to find the missing patient…

Everything was scattered. Nothing was right. Danger. Fear.

Someone was scared. Someone was lost and so, so afraid.

Nova.

“Doctor Antona, sir,” a officer called out to the dark haired man appearing to be bewildered by the state of the room. “We have checked the holorecords and found that the patient inside the room went rogue, yet the machines assigned to this room still shows that she is asleep.”

“Where is she now?” Kylo interjected in a low voice, not turning around as both men glanced his way.

A second too long passed, and the officer was slammed against the wall right outside the room and pinned with his feet dangling desperately. Antona froze as Kylo turned around and snatched the bacta pump out of his hand as he approached the officer, prying deep into his mind to find the images and words he needed:

Target broke from the emergency exit near 5-8-9-1, headed into woods with unit following tar...

Target not responding, must use immediate action to...

Lost contact with units following into blizzard...storm interference, perhaps? Waiting to hear -

“As soon as you hear from the units, you will command them to fall back immediately,” Kylo instructed darkly, dropping the officer before glaring back to Antona. “You will see to what happened here, and await my call. You answer to no one else.”

“W-what will you do, Commander?” Antona asked, his brows furrowed with concern.

“I’m going after her alone. I’m taking the vaccine with me.”

“Commander Ren, the Base is in lockdown, you won’t be able to get out or return inside to any of the main buildings once it’s official,” the weak officer tried to stop him, yet Kylo walked right passed him. “It’s too dangerous! The blizzard!”

Following the numbers towards the exit she went through, Kylo began feeling the sudden drop in temperature as he approached the gaping hole that remained one of the once locked exits. It was as if it was peeled apart, and radiated an unhealthy amount of Force used to break the heavy and hard material. No stormtrooper ever stopped Kylo as he marched through to the outdoors, ignoring the stinging in his cheeks and nose as he kept pushing through the heavy snowfall towards the woods, the snow up to his knees and wind trying to force him back as the alarms continued to echo through the storm.

Grinding his teeth, Kylo kept going as he registered the distant pain and suffering happening deep in the blizzard.

Fun fact: Doctor Antona is an official character in the Star Wars video game franchise. Nova’s medbay number is also a homage to Indiana Jones with the release year backwards (I know Galatic Basic isn’t like the English alphabet, but I don’t care c:)

taglist: @ayatimascd @ymariejp @yippee-ki-yay-motherfucker460 @formerly-anonhamster @rosalynbair @redhairedfeistynerd

Remember, if you would like to be tagged for future chapters, please don’t hesitate to message me! I’d be more than happy to add you. Thank you for reading and I hope to hear from you!

[deamstellarus]

Stranger Things Have Happened (2/11)

Pairing: Clint Barton x Reader

Summary: You’d spent your whole life hiding your ability from the world. When you ended up in a dark alley, you never expected to be saved by Tony Stark. But when you met your soulmate, you knew it was fate.

Word Count: 4207

Warnings: None really, unless you count slight embarrassment 

Chapter 2: Awkward Encounters

          You woke up the next morning with the sun shining on your face. You were so content that the realization that you were not, in fact, in your room in your apartment didn’t occur to you until a few moments later. Then you started to panic, until you heard a voice call out.

         “Miss, your heart rate indicates that you are panicking. Please try to calm down. You are at the Avengers Tower. I have alerted the Boss that you are awake,” F.R.I.D.A.Y. said, and you suddenly remembered the previous night. Slowly, you got out of bed, your body aching but oddly feeling more refreshed than you have in months. Sliding on the slippers and pulled on a hoodie, went and brushed your teeth with the new toothbrush you found, then cracked open the bedroom door, peeking into the hallway. It was empty as you made your way into the living room, walking up to the giant windows and taking in the view of New York. You’d never seen so much of New York all at once, it was almost calming being so high up above the fast-paced city. You didn’t hear the ding of the elevator, so the following voice startled you.

         “Well good morning, Alleycat!” Tony said, taking you by surprise. You jumped, turned to see him a few feet away. “Sorry, didn’t mean to scare you. Are you hungry?” You were about to respond as your stomach answered for you in what must have been the loudest growl that echoed in the room. “I’ll take that as a yes,” he laughed.

         “It would appear so,” you said, pulling at your sleeves.

         “Come along, let’s go to the kitchen and see what Cap is making for everyone.” Right. You were going to meet the Avengers today. Suddenly, you were nervous. They’re just normal people, people who just happened to be superheroes.

         He started back for the elevator but turned to see you still glued to the same spot, feeling unprepared. What if you were intruding on their home? Technically you were. What if they didn’t like you being there? He held out his hand and you hesitantly took it, following him into the elevator. He pressed a button with a big A on it, upon closer inspection you saw it was the Avengers logo. “This is the button for the Avengers common room floor. This is also where the kitchen is located. You can come down here whenever you’d like.”

         The doors opened to a truly impressive common room. There was a 70 inch TV on the wall above a fireplace, facing several large (and expensive) couches. Just like in Tony’s room, there were floor to ceiling windows on the far wall. There was a bar off to the side that looked fully stocked. To the right was a long table that looked like it was able to seat at least twelve, and beyond that was a kitchen, with what looked to be state of the art appliances. There were a few people sitting on the couches, watching the news: a man with longer brown hair, a woman with long reddish hair, and a man that looked...is he purple? You recognized the brunet man though as Sergeant James Barnes, the Winter Soldier. Seated at the breakfast counter was a man with deep, warm skin you recognized immediately as the Falcon, and the man at the stove flipping pancakes was none other than Captain America himself.

         “Look alive people, we have company,” Tony said pulling you towards the kitchen. “Something smells good, Capsicle.” Everyone stopped and looked at you, some doing a double take and you cowered a little behind Tony. When did you get to be so shy? He chuckled. “They don’t bite, Alleycat. Mostly.”

         “Speak for yourself, Stark,” Sam said winking at you. “I’m Sam Wilson.” He said to you, holding out his hand for you to shake. You accepted it and gave him your name.

         “I know who you are,” you giggled lightly. “You’re the Falcon.”

“Ha! See Tony?! What did I tell you? The people love me!” Sam said, to which Tony rolled his eyes.

         “Steve Rogers, ma’am,” Steve said, holding out his hand, and you took it, staring at him in awe. He really was as anatomically perfect as he seemed to be on TV.

         “Over there is Bucky Barnes, the previous Winter Soldier, Wanda Maximoff, also known as Scarlet Witch, and the Vision,” Tony said, gesturing to the people on the couch. You waved a little to them. “Here, take a seat and Cap will get you a plate.” He said pulling out a seat at the breakfast counter for you, then making a beeline for the coffee machine. Even though you’ve only just met him, you’re sure he relies on the caffeine after having spotted the bags under his eyes. He probably doesn’t get much sleep.

         Steve set a plate of blueberry pancakes in front of you and Sam passed you the syrup. They looked at you expectantly, so you grabbed you fork and took a bite and released a small moan. Then stopped, and looked up blushing. They laughed.

         “Sorry, it’s been a while since I’ve eaten and this is amazing,” you said after swallowing. “Thank you.”

          “It’s my pleasure, ma’am.” Steve and Tony exchanged a look. You wondered briefly if Tony had told the rest of them about you.

         “Go on and eat up, Selina Kyle. Doc wants to check your progress.” You made a face at the nickname but deciding it could be worse. Guess we’re gonna stick with the cat-theme then. You shrugged and began eating, practically inhaling the food. Under any other circumstances, you’d probably be more embarrassed but you couldn’t find it in you to feel that way at the moment. You finished your food, then thanked Steve and waved to the rest as you followed Tony a little more confidently to the elevator. Once inside he hit the button for the medical wing, then he looked over to you, taking note of your more relaxed state, calmer than you had been when he’d first seen you this morning.

         “You’ll meet Clint and Natasha tonight, Hawkeye and Black Widow, when they get back from their mission. Thor is currently in Asgard, and Bruce is most likely in the lab. Rhodey should be around here somewhere,” he said as the doors opened. He brought you back to the room you’d been in last night, where you formally met Dr. Cho. She looked you over and asked you about any pain you might have. You didn’t have much, you’d been to used to His treatment and had started ignoring the lasting pain that came with the punches. She prescribed you some pain meds just in case and sent you on your way. Afterwards, Tony brought you down to his lab.

         “This is my workshop,” he said proudly. Looking around, you couldn’t help but notice all of the versions of Iron Man suits. There must have been at least 50. The space was large, half of the area dedicated to different inventions, completed and half-done, of Tony’s, along with papers disorganized spread across the tables, knicknacks everywhere you turned, a well used coffee machine, and a couch with a pillow and blanket on it. The other half of the area was neater by far, and housed the projects of Dr. Banner, who was working on a project as we walked in. He waved and gave a small smile, you returned the wave and grinned back. Tony brought you to a stool at one of his tables and handed you a device. It looked like a phone, but sleeker than you’d ever seen.

        “It’s a Stark phone. It’s more advanced than regular phones, and has F.R.I.D.A.Y. already integrated in it. All of our numbers are programmed into it, but you can download anything you want on it. It’s yours,” he said. He looked nervous, like he wanted, no-- needed, your opinion.

         “This is really cool. Thanks, Mr. Stark.” You said smiling. If you kept this up, your cheeks were going to hurt by the end of the day. He visibly relaxed.

         “Great! Now I’m going to work on some things down here and you are more than welcome to stay with us, or you can explore the Tower if you want. F.R.I.D.A.Y. can help you if you get lost.” You nodded.

         “Thank you, Mr. Stark. I think I’ll go look around if you don’t mind,” you said getting up.

         “Please. Mr. Stark was my father. Call me Tony,” he said, gesturing toward the door.

         Once in the elevator you didn’t know where to go. An idea occurred to you. “Uhm, hello? F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

         “Yes, Miss,” the AI responded.

“What types of things are there to do around here?”

         “There is a theater room, and a game room. There’s an indoor pool on the floor with the gym, as well as an outdoor pool with a deck for sunbathing. There’s also a library if you’d like to read.”

          It didn’t take you any time at all to respond that you’d like to go to the library level. You were shocked by the amount of books in the room, you hadn’t thought Tony Stark, technological genius would bother with having a library, much less a well-stocked one. You perused the shelves, finding an old classic and settled down in one of the over-sized chairs tucked in a corner by the window. You got comfortable, too comfortable it would seem, as that’s where Tony found you several hours later. He nudged your shoulder and you jerked awake, blinking the sleep out of your eyes.

         “That’s a good look, Sleeping Beauty,” he joked. You were confused until you felt the sleep marks for the book on your face. So you did the mature thing: you stuck your tongue out at him. He chuckled. “Get up. You haven’t had lunch yet and we don’t need Cap thinking I’m trying to turn you into me or something.” He winked.

         You followed him up to the kitchen, and Wanda was making sandwiches while Vision chopped some veggies to dip in a ranch sauce. Wanda smiled at you when you walked in, passing you a plate. You sat at the table with the rest of the superheroes. Wow, that was a weird sentence. Never before did you believe you’d be in this position. You all were eating quietly, before Bucky broke the silence.

          “So, tell us about yourself,” he said. His demeanor was intense but he had gentle eyes. The rest of the group leaned in slightly.

          “Uhm, well,” you began, not knowing really where to start. “I’m 23, I am a waitress, er was a waitress, I suppose. I had to quit that when He made me start testing.”

          “Who are you talking about, Kitten?” Tony asked. His grip on his mug had gotten a little tighter.

          “My boyfriend, er, well, ex-boyfriend now, Mason Thompson. He found out about my ability a few months ago by accident, and since then has been testing me and working with his bosses to do...I don’t know really. Last night, he took me to meet with them in person at a fancy restaurant, and were making a deal of sorts, but before they could take me, I faked having to go to the bathroom and ran out through the kitchen. I kept running until I stopped to take a breath and then hid in an alley until he left,” you said. You’d been looking at your hands during your story. You looked up then at Tony, “I guess that’s when you found me.”

          Tony nodded, eyebrows furrowed. He looked pale and the grip was so tight on his mug, his knuckles turned white and you were nervous for the mug. You supposed he had more than enough money to replace that one, or several thousand, should he want.

         “Why would they want you? What kind of testing?” Steve asked. Oh, right. They didn’t know about this.

         “I can, uh, transform into different animals, and uhm, people. When Tony found me, I was a cat.”

         If they were surprised, they hid it well. Probably comes with being a superhero, nothing is out of the ordinary when everything is.

         “Would you mind showing us?” Bucky asked, only to get elbowed by Steve, who pulled a face that you would recognize as the Captain America face. Probably had a special voice that accompanied it too. “What?” Bucky asked, rubbing his ribs.

          You shrugged before standing up.

          “You don’t have to, you know,” Tony said, putting his hand over yours, looking worried for the first time since last night. You couldn’t quite put a finger on why but you felt safe here. Maybe it was because you were in a room full of superheroes or maybe it was the compassion they’ve already shown you after only having known you for less than a day. So you nodded but stood up anyway, backing up a couple feet. You took a deep breathe and shifted into a cat, looking up at them and observing their faces. You gave them another moment and then turned into a grey wolf, walking around the table once before shifting into a snake and slithering up next to Sam, who proceeded to jump and fall out his chair. The group laughed as you morphed into Sam, taking a seat in your chair and making the face he had when you’d scared him. Bucky was laughing so hard, he was gasping for air. You shifted back to your normal self and giggled lightly, winking at Sam.

         “Oh I see how it is,” he said taking his seat again. “I’ve got my eye on you.” He pointed to his eyes then yours. You grinned back at him.

         “Well, I think I speak for everyone when I say we will keep you safe from Him,” Wanda said with a smile. The rest of them nodding in agreement, and you were grateful to have been found by this group of people.

         The topic switched off of you and as you finished your food, you were starting to feel a little out of place at the table. As if you were intruding on their space. “If you’d like, I can help you pick out clothes and have them ordered here. I’m sure you wouldn’t want to keep wearing those clothes, they look rather big on you,” Wanda said. It was like she read your mind. You nodded, thankful for something else to do.

         “Oh, before you go, your room is ready,” Tony said. “I put you on Wanda’s floor, if that’s alright.”

         “That’s perfect. Thank you,’ you said as Wanda pulled you out of the room.

         You and Wanda headed to your new room, and when you opened the door, it was similar to the guest room in the penthouse. The biggest difference was the desk that also had a laptop on it. It was perfect. Wanda grabbed the laptop and sat on the bed. You joined her and began looking for clothes that fit your style. In an hour, you had a full wardrobe picked out, ready to be delivered tomorrow morning. You looked at the price and the realization of where you really were and what that meant for you started to overwhelm you. You don’t don’t deserve all of this attention.

        “Don’t worry about the price. Tony is more than willing to spend it on you, and has more than enough money to spare,” Wanda said, sensing your worry. “It’s okay, there’s no need to feel undeserving.” But how did she--? Wanda smiled. “It’s part of my abilities. I can read minds and sense emotions, among other more...powerful...things.”

         Wanda patted your shoulder. She wanted to go out to the common room, but you told her you wanted to take a shower but you’d meet her there in a little while. She left and you took a deep breath. Maybe that was all you needed to relax and accept this new reality. After your jasmine-scented shower, you put on the fresh clothes you found in the drawers. They still dwarfed you but you felt better than you had in such a long time. You pulled a comb through your long, wet hair, slid on the slippers, and made your way to the common room.

         You found Wanda on one of the couches cuddled up next to a slightly stiff looking Vision. They must be soulmates, you think. You weren’t quite sure what to make of him yet; he doesn’t talk much. The other couches contained Steve and Sam on one, while Bucky scowled at Sam from the other. You chuckled softly as you made your way into the room. You felt their eyes on your exposed arms and crossed them, trying to hide the largest bruise on the inside of your right arm. Not quite sure where to sit, you hovered near them until Bucky patted the spot next to him, putting his arm on the back of the couch. You took a seat and fell immediately into him. Embarrassed, you sat up and scoot a little away from him, but he gently pulled you back.

        “I don’t mind, doll,” he said with a smile, and you could instantly understand why he was considered a ladies’ man before the war. You’d been to the exhibit of Captain America and the rest of the Howling Commandos, of course, but nothing had prepared you for seeing Bucky’s grin in person. You didn’t think it’d be so soon after Him that you’d feel comfortable this close to another man, but there was none of the men in this room had reacted nearly the same nor made you feel like an object since they’d seen your ability.

         You relaxed into his side and the six of you watched some made-for-TV-movies when the elevator dinged. You thought nothing of it until a loud voice called, “Hey! Who ate all my chips? Wilson!?”

         Not expecting the outburst, you morphed unconsciously, cowering next to Bucky. You felt their eyes on you, but your attention had been drawn to the new people in the room.You watched as a woman with red hair and a body that most would kill for walked into the room. Following close behind her was man who had dirty blonde hair, and a bow and a quiver of arrows strapped to his back. Black Widow and Hawkeye, the latter of whom was holding a now empty bag of barbeque chips.

         “Did you hear me?” he asked. “What are you all looking at?” He looked down to see your fluffy body on the couch. “When did we get a bunny?” He knelt down to pet you. “Well, aren’t you a pretty bunny,” he said smiling.

          The rest of the group couldn’t help but laugh, while the two assassins stood there looking confused. You, on the other hand, were mortified. Not only had you met two more Avengers in animal form, but one of them just so happened to be your soulmate. At least he said the words on your ribs. You got up and hopped out of there as fast as you could to the elevators that thankfully opened as you approached them. When you were safely hidden inside, you changed back and took deep breaths, trying to calm down. You got to your floor and crawled into bed, hiding under the covers, hoping the bed would swallow you whole.

         You don’t know how long it had been but you woke to the sound of a knock at your door and then the door opening. Tony stepped in and gently shut it behind him. He carried a tray with what looked like Chicken Parmesan.

         “Hey, kiddo. You alright?” he asked, awkwardly setting the tray on the desk. You shrugged. “I know you hadn’t planned to meet them this way, but even Legolas is kicking himself for scaring you away.”

         “It wasn’t just that,” you hesitated, not knowing if you should tell him. He waited, and you wondered if he was normally this patient or if this was new for him. “Uhm, he kinda, said my words…”

         A look passed over his face. “Oh. Huh. Did you, uh, say them back?” You could have smacked yourself. Of course you hadn’t thought to say anything back, too embarrassed in the moment. You shook your head.

         “I ran off before I could say anything. He probably thinks I’m just some stupid girl.” You fell back onto your bed, pulling a pillow over your face.

         “Alright, no more self-deprecating remarks. That’s not who you are.”

         “You don’t even really know me.” You said into the pillow. You winced, glad your face was hidden.

          He replied without missing a beat. “Hm, be that as it may, Grumpy Cat, I am a good judge of character.” With that he opened the door, but before he stepped out, he said, “Just remember, you can’t stay in here forever, nor can you hide from a master assassin.” He shut the door behind him and for the rest of the night, you contemplated what you were going to do about Clint. Your soulmate.

          By morning, you’d decided Tony was right, you couldn’t stay in your room forever, nor hide from the assassin for too long. But why rush to him when you didn’t have to, right? Damn, when had you become such a baby? I suppose a few months of living with Him would change anyone.

“Where are the Avengers currently, F.R.I.D.A.Y.?”

“Captain Rogers is in the gym with Mr. Wilson, Sergeant Barnes, and Ms. Romanov. Ms. Maximoff and Vision are in the common room. Boss is the lab with Dr. Banner. And Mr. Barton is the shooting and archery range.”

“Thank you.” Alright. Well you suppose you could go down to sit with Wanda, but you might be intruding on the soulmates’ time together so you thought against it. Maybe you could sit in and watch the rest of them train, or would that be weird? There was a knock at your door and several workers carrying boxes greeted you. You opened the first one and realized it was the clothes you and Wanda had ordered yesterday. You dug through the boxes and pulled on a pair of leggings, a sports bra, and a thin pullover. Pulling your hair into a long braid, a la Katniss, and sliding on a pair of flats, you decided to chance it.

You headed down to the gym level, only to see Clint walking toward a door leading to the locker rooms. You hid behind a pillar until he was out of sight, and then let out the breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. Maybe you should just go back? You were about to turn around when you saw something shiny out of the corner of your eye. There was a vent next to the gym entrance, the door was slightly opened. What if…? No, that would be too weird, right?

         Against your better judgement, you morphed into a cat, and quickly ran across the floor to the vent, nudging it open with your paw. You climbed inside, up and over, following the voices and grunts you could hear from what you assumed was the gym. There were several other vents leading into the gym but you chose the middle of the five. Looking through the grates, you could see Steve spotting Sam on the weight bench, while Natasha and Bucky sparred on the mats. Was she winning? She was. That’s someone you would not, could not, cross.

         As you watched them dance around the mat, you didn’t here the slight shuffling of someone coming up beside you, until they coughed to get your attention. Jumping away  as much as you can in a vent, you turned to see what...who... made the sound. Clint. Just your luck. He looked at you expectantly. You changed back into your normal self and looked just fast his face, not quite looking into his eyes.

         “So, uh, you come here often?” You offered, wincing at how stupid you sounded. His eyes widened as realization flickered across his face.

         “Actually, yes…,” he said, to which you made a mental note to ask about that later as he followed that by saying, “I don’t want you to get the wrong idea, but are you my soulmate?”

          Your mouth dried up. You closed your eyes and nodded, embarrassment flooding through you, face on fire.. You felt one of his hands cup your cheek. You opened your eyes meeting his blue-green gaze. “It’s alright to be afraid of the unknown. We don’t have to rush into anything. But I would like to get to know you. You know, I always thought I’d meet you at a bar or something,” he laughed. “I’m Clint, by the way.”

         For the second time that day, you could have smacked yourself at how awkward you are. You told him your name. His smile was easily your favorite thing about him.

[latetothegreysparty]

Baby Steps

This one is for the anon prompt about Amelia’s recovery from the surgery to remove the tumor. I’m pretty sure this one turned out far more angsty than that anon intended with his/her prompt, so I’m really sorry if this isn’t what you had in mind.

Baby Steps

Amelia sighed as she watched herself in the mirror while she brushed her teeth. She had already been brushing her teeth for more than three minutes now, but she couldn’t bring herself to spit out the toothpaste and rinse her mouth. Once she did, she would be ready to go to sleep, and she’d have to climb into the bed. Not just any bed, their bed. The bed she and Owen had purchased to sleep in together. The bed that she hadn’t slept in for weeks. It was hard enough to move back in with him and share a bed with him again, but it was doubly so when she was also dealing with the difficulties of recovering from brain surgery.

She didn’t know why she’d agreed to this. She knew they’d had quite the rough patch and that it probably would’ve been best to take it slow. Jumping straight into moving back in with him when they hadn’t done anything to address the issues of the past few months seemed ill-advised. She blamed her exhaustion. She was just so tired all the time that when Owen had offered to take her back to their home and take care of her, she’d been too exhausted to do anything other than agree.

So now here she was, five minutes into brushing her teeth, having probably hit the boundary of how long should could continue to do this without it becoming very obvious that she was stalling. Amelia closed her eyes, steeling herself for the discomfort that was about to come, and spat her toothpaste into the sink. In a matter of minutes, she had rinsed her mouth and was emerging from the bathroom.

She internally winced when she stepped out into the bedroom. She was hoping he’d already be asleep. Instead, he was sitting up in bed with the lamp on, smiling at her. “You’re probably exhausted, why don’t you climb in?” he asked softly. She nodded and got into the other side of the bed, neglecting to mention that the reason she was exhausted had more to do with sleeping next to her husband whom she hadn’t lived with for weeks than her post-surgery side effects. She pulled the covers up to her chin and rolled over, facing herself away from him. “Good night, Amelia,” he whispered tenderly.

It was all she could do to muster a small, “Night,” in response.

-

Amelia awoke to the sound of her alarm. It was 2:00 in the morning. Her body was not happy to be awoken at this hour. Nonetheless, this was a necessity because it was time to take her pain medication. Some people thought it might be better to sleep through the night and just take the medication first thing in the morning, but she knew better. She knew that if she didn’t keep the medication in her system constantly, she’d wake up early in the morning in pain, and then she’d have to wait for the medication to hit her bloodstream to feel any relief. No, it was far better to deal with the interrupted sleep schedule and keep the medication in her bloodstream, especially since the meds were weaker than what most patients in her situation would be using.

When she sat up to get out of bed and go find her pill, she was surprised to see light streaming in through the open bedroom door as Owen re-entered the room. She couldn’t imagine what he’d be doing up at this hour. “Hey, I got you your meds and a snack so you won’t get nauseous from taking it on an empty stomach,” he said, holding up a tray that held a pill, a glass of water, and an apple.

Her stomach swirled in a mix of gratitude and discontent that he was doing this for her in the current state of their marriage. “Owen, you didn’t have to…” she began, not really knowing what else to say.

“I wanted to,” he said, smiling softly as he set the tray down on her lap before walking around the bed and climbing back into his side.

“Thank you,” she whispered before biting into the apple. She finished her snack in silence, then took her pill and downed the glass of water. She went back to sleep without another word.

-

Amelia stared blankly at the movie that was playing on the TV in the living room. She didn’t really know what had been going on because she had dozed off several times. As she continued to stare, making a bit of effort to try to ascertain what was going on in the film, she could feel her stomach growling. Realizing she hadn’t eaten in five or six hours, she stood up from the couch and made her way to the kitchen to see if she could scrounge up some lunch.

When she arrived in the kitchen, she found Owen standing at the stove, stirring a pot that appeared to hold soup. He looked up when he heard her enter. “Oh, hi, I figured you’d be getting hungry, so I made some soup. I figured it would be gentle on your stomach.”

Amelia shifted uncomfortably from foot to foot. “Owen I could have made myself something,” she said.

“Did you not want soup?” he asked, a concerned expression overtaking his face. “I can make something else.”

She sighed. “No soup is great, but you didn’t need to make lunch for me.”

He smiled softly. “It was no trouble at all. I needed to eat, anyway, so it was just as easy for me to make food for the both of us.”

That excuse sounded pretty weak to her, considering he’d just been offering to make her a whole new lunch if she didn’t like the soup, but she was too tired to have that argument with him. Instead, she chose to quietly thank him, accept the bowl of soup, and retreat back to her place on the couch.

-

Amelia groaned as she stepped out of the bathroom in her towel, hair still dripping from the shower she’d just taken. She began walking toward the closet, but she already knew she was going to come up empty. This was her sixth day back in the house, and she hadn’t done laundry yet. She was pretty certain she’d already worn all of the casual clothes she had in the house. Nonetheless, she opened the closet and peered inside, hoping there was a t shirt and some sweats she’d forgotten about. She had no such luck. She sighed at her situation and crossed the room to grab the hamper and begin sorting her clothes. Apparently, today was going to be one of those days when she did the laundry in her towel.

When she arrived at the hamper, she was surprised to find it empty. Confused, Amelia padded out of the bedroom to figure out what was going on. When she stepped into the hallway, she could hear the sound of the TV in the living room, so she followed the noise. She stopped in her tracks when she found Owen sitting on the couch, watching TV and folding her clothes. “Owen, what are you doing?” she asked slowly.

He smiled when he saw her standing in the corner of the room. “Oh, hi! I hope your shower was nice. I’m just hanging out and folding your clothes.”

He didn’t seem to get what she was asking. “Why are you folding my clothes?” she asked, tilting her head to the side.

He chuckled. “When I went to get dressed this morning, I noticed you were running pretty low on clothes, so I washed up what was in your hamper. Pretty much everything is dry now, so grab whatever you’d like to wear from the basket.”

She had to take a deep breath to calm herself. It would be really terrible if she just started yelling at him for doing her laundry. She was pretty sure that would win her the “worst wife of the year” award, if she hadn’t already locked that one up. But she couldn’t just smile and thank him. All of this coddling and doting on her was getting out of control, and she wasn’t sure she’d be able to stay in this house for another day if she didn’t say something. “Owen, you don’t need to do all of my cooking and cleaning for me,” she said, keeping her tone measured so she wouldn’t start yelling. “I can do that stuff myself.”

“It’s really no trouble,” he brushed her off. “I have the time off, so it’s no hassle at all to do this stuff. Besides, the doctors said you need to take it easy so you don’t exhaust yourself or give yourself a headache. We can’t have that happening, especially when you’re on non-narcotic pain pills.”

The nonchalant, indirect reference to her struggles with opioids was what flipped the switch. As much as she’d tried to remain calm, she just couldn’t after that comment. “Oh, so that’s the problem, is it?” she asked, far beyond caring that she was shouting now. She could see the confusion on his face as she abruptly began to shout, but she ignored it and continued on. “Your wife isn’t just some lady who recently had her brain sliced up, she’s a junky who just had her brain sliced up, so naturally we’ve got to go full kid-gloves mode to make sure she doesn’t go off the deep end and do cocaine off the back of a toilet at a strip club downtown!”

She could see the edges of his ears starting to turn red, one of his tells that he was starting to get upset, but he did a wonderful job of hiding it. “Amelia, that is not at all what I meant. I only meant that comment to point out that your pain management plan relies more heavily on prevention than treatment, but now I completely understand how that was probably hurtful. Please forgive me. I need you to calm down, though, or you’re going to get yourself sick, tired, and in pain.”

This did nothing to pacify her. She had now begun to pace in front of the couch. “I can’t calm down, Owen!” she shouted. “I can’t calm down because this is all just wrong. Our marriage is in shambles. We’ve barely spoken in months, we were living apart, and we have all these issues that we haven’t even begun to address. I can’t deal with you doing all of this stuff for me right now. This feels like playing pretend. I move back home, we pretend we didn’t just have a massive conflict in our marriage, and then we go back to our lives like nothing ever happened. That’s not what we need. I came back here because I needed a place to stay, not because this was all supposed to suddenly go back to being the perfect marriage.”

By this point Owen’s whole face was red, and he was losing the battle to remain calm. “This is exactly what you need!” he said, exasperated. “Right now, you need to be loved and taken care of, but you won’t let anybody do that for you. You’re retreating into your coping mechanism, and it’s not healthy.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” she hissed.

His voice was beginning to get louder. “This is what you always do! You push away any man who tries to love you. You sit there and obsess over your imperfections, you convince yourself that you’re not worthy of love, and then you push away anybody who tries to love you.”

“That is not true!” she said, tears now beginning to build up in her eyes. She’d known she needed to talk to him, but she never meant for the conversation to wade this deep into their issues, and now she was beginning to regret opening this can of worms.

“Really, Amelia?” he scoffed. “It’s not true? Because the only time I know of when you’ve ever let a man who wasn’t your father or your brother love you fully, completely, and without reservation was when you were both high out of your minds the entire time!”

It happened before she even realized it had. One moment her mouth was hanging open as she absorbed the shock of his words, the next her right hand was stinging, and a red handprint adorned his left cheek. It took her a few seconds to even realize what had caused the popping noise she’d heard. “How dare you!” she screeched. “You do not get to throw Ryan in my face!” she shouted, voice cracking as the tears poured freely down her face. “You weren’t there. You don’t know how much it broke me to relapse and to lose him. You have no idea. So don’t you dare throw that in my face like it’s just some pawn for your argument.”

“You’re right, I don’t know!” he yelled back. “I don’t know because you’ve never let me know. You just moved out of the house and stopped talking to me as soon as things got hard. How am I supposed to help you deal with any of this if you won’t even tell me about it?”

“It’s not just a matter of you helping me through these things!” By now, her face was splotchy, and her eyes were puffy. “You act like I’m the broken one and you’re doing perfect and all the two of us need is for you to know all of my issues so you can make me whole again. But that’s not how this works. You have issues too.”

She was about to continue, but he started speaking before she could. “Amelia, I never said I was perfect. I know I have lots of issues. We have to work on our issues together. That’s how a marriage works.”

“It doesn’t always work out like that, though,” she said. “Sometimes two people are married, and they’re both broken. And sometimes, when you put their two kinds of brokenness together, they break each other apart even more instead of helping each other put the pieces back together. You don’t know all of my brokenness, Owen. You don’t know the ways in which the pain I carry could cut open your wounds and make you hurt more than you can take. You don’t know that we can help each other put it back together. Sometimes that’s just not possible. You of all people should know that.”

His eyes widened in shock. He hadn’t expected her to bring up his marriage with Cristina. It hurt a lot more than he’d thought it would. He was very tempted to walk away from this conversation, but he’d committed to beginning to talk things out, so he gathered what little bits of composure he had left and did his best to come up with something productive to say. “Amelia, I know that sometimes it doesn’t work out. And like you said, I know just how badly it hurts when it doesn’t. You’re right, maybe when we lay all of our issues out on the table we won’t be able to make it work, but I want to try because I love you. And when you love someone, you don’t just give up without trying to fix what was broken. So I’m committed to trying because I love you too much to let you go without trying. Do you love me, Amelia?” 

“Owen, I just think-,” she began, but he cut her off.

“Do you love me, Amelia?” he repeated slowly, emphasizing each word. She said nothing, merely nodding as she continued to wipe tears from her eyes. “Then we need to keep working. Because two people who love each other shouldn’t walk away without seeing if there’s a way to fix it. I know that’s not going to all get figured out today. Hell, we probably won’t figure out any of it today, but that’s okay. Right now, I just need you to trust me. Trust me to love you and help you through your recovery. Trust me to be willing to come back to this conversation once you’re recovered and try to work out where we went wrong. Trust me not to take the easy way out and ignore our problems, but to put in the work so that we can build a life together. Can you do that?”

“Yeah,” she whispered, hiccuping slightly as she composed herself after all of the tears. “I think I can try. But I need you to understand that this is hard for me, and this is a lot all at once. We went from hardly speaking and seeing each other to sharing a bed again. There are going to be moments when that change feels like too much for me, and I’ll need you to give me some space. Can you do that?”

He nodded. “Yeah, I can do that.” She closed her eyes, grateful that he was accepting her request. “Now can I get a hug?” he asked, tilting his head to the right and slightly opening his arms. She nodded before stepping into his arms and wrapping her own arms tightly around his waist. He held her against him, breathed in the scent of her shampoo, and took a moment to be thankful to have her back in his arms again. For a moment, he thought about kissing her, but he decided against it. That probably wasn’t what she was looking for when she’d asked him to give her some space. Instead, he made himself content to merely stand there, holding her in the living room, being thankful for the small steps forward they’d made in their conversation.

After several minutes, she pulled back from his embrace and looked up to meet his eyes. “Owen?” she asked.

“Yeah,” he replied softly.

“Would it be okay if I go back to our bedroom and spend some time in there alone? We just had a really heavy conversation, and I think I need some time and space.”

“Of course,” he nodded with a smile. She wasn’t running. He was confident of that now. She was just overwhelmed, and she needed him to trust her to take a bit of time to process her emotions without completely shutting him out. He could do that for her. “But, Amelia?” he asked.

“Hmm,” she replied, turning back toward him as she was already walking toward the bedroom.

“I think you might want to grab some clothes from the basket. You’ve been walking around in that towel for quite a while.”

She burst into giggles. Through all of the passionate emotions of their conversation, she’d forgotten that she had been standing there in her towel. She strolled over to the basket, picked up a shirt and some sweats, looked back at him, giggled again, and turned back to walk to the bedroom. As he watched the door close, a small smile broke out over his face. That silly little moment had been the hope he didn’t know he needed. The way they’d found a glimmer of light and joy in such a painful conversation made him believe that they might actually be able to figure all of this out. These were just baby steps, but maybe enough baby steps would eventually bring them back together.

[tuellertrails]

It’s hard to put into words what our first week on trail has been like, but I’ll try.

Tiring. Hot. Cold. Amazing. Beautiful. Adventure. Ouch. Hungry. Thirsty. Dirty. Smelly.

There you have it!

Starting out the PCT was an emotional experience. It was surreal hiking those first few miles, and then it just sinks in “oh right, this is just hiking. And hiking is just walking. And walking is tiring. Wow it’s hot. Wait, how am I already this dirty?” We only made it about .3 miles when we came upon a little campground with some trail angels that we talked to briefly. One of them was an older man with long white silver hair and blue eyes named Legend who apparently is a triple crowner (has hiked the PCT, AT and CDT). He told us to put our hands towards the trail and then grab some air and cup it into a ball in our hands. He said we had grabbed a little piece of magic from the PCT and it is carried in all the hikers who had gone before us and that we were all connected. He told us to hold it up to our hearts to absorb, but being the brilliant nurse that I am, I held it to the right side of my chest instead of the left, so I guess that means the magic went into my rib cage instead. I’m not an expert in PCT magic 🤷🏻‍♀️ so who knows how it will affect me. Magic ribs? Time will tell. He also told us to take another piece of PCT magic and put it in our pocket to give to a friend. I will sell mine to the highest bidder. Authentic PCT magic, hard to come by, Bitcoin will be accepted as a trade.

Hiking has been very physically exhausting for me, more than I expected to be honest. We’re going about 2-2.3 miles per hour at this point, and have done 10-16 miles per day. We wake up between 6-7 AM, pack up our stuff and head out. Generally we eat breakfast at our first break of the day after 3-4 miles, and I’ve found that I need a break about every 3 miles. If we can get to a great spot for lunch, we will generally take at least an hour and sometimes more if it’s in the heat of the day. We try to stop hiking between 5-6 pm, so we can have time to set up camp, make dinner, roll out our feet and sore muscles, and write in our journals before bed. We are very tired every night, but sometimes we don’t sleep very well if it’s windy or very cold. I always take my trusty Benadryl and sleep better with it!

The hardest part for me so far has been the wear and tear on my feet. The biggest mistake I made at the start was not putting inserts in my shoes. My feet have been in a lot of pain and I’ve had to take more breaks to roll them out to continue hiking. No matter how tired I am, I have to roll out my feet at the end of the day or they fee pretty rough the next day. I’ve also been dealing with some blisters and some chafing, so basically everything hurts! Doing miles on miles every single day is a lot of work, and we are sore every day. Other hikers that we’ve met who have done other thru hikes assure us that we will get our trail legs (eventually) but it’s going to take about 3 weeks

Ok, enough complaining!! We have met some amazing people. Landon’s cousin Justin hiked out with us the first day and it was fun to give him a taste of the trail. There was a small group of people that we started with who have been a bit faster than us and are now ahead of us on the trail, but maybe we’ll run into them again!

We met a mother and son duo named Chris and Pat. Pat is a psychologist at a University and counsels students. She was the nicest friendliest little lady and I immediately liked her. Chris, her son, works in film media and is trying to become a landscape photographer. They were both lovely but Pat can't go very fast so I'm not sure we'll see them again, but we're following each other on Instagram now.

We’ve spent quite a bit of time with a small group of hikers, hiking and also hanging out with them in Julian (where we are taking our first zero day, no hiking and only lots of resting, eating and socializing). Half of them are not American which is exciting! Florian is from Germany and is a super interesting guy. He works for Google and has lived in Australia, the UK, and most recently in San Francisco. We talked about the differences between Germany and Europe, some about politics (how crazy American politics are compared to relatively boring German ones), gun control, Mental illness and lack of resources in America, our messed up healthcare system, the largeness of Australian huntsman spiders, and a whole bunch of other things. Lauren is from Canada and loves to quiz you about geography and ask fun questions. Today she asked "which animal most represents the place that you live?" Landon and I debated for a while and decided on a big horn sheep 🐑. She and Florian met on the JMT and are hiking together as friends as they both have significant others. She is always scavenging for everyone’s extra food and someone suggested that her trail name be Trash Panda (people give each other “trail names” on thru hikes, and then that’s how people introduce themselves. We haven’t gotten ours yet but it’s only a matter of time). I don’t think she accepted that trail name though 😂


Another woman from the group is from Germany named Silke who is a bit more shy but still friendly, and man is she fit. She just blazed past us on the trail today. We also gave her a piece of pop tart and some skittles to try, and she hated both, which was very funny to watch her disgusted reaction. She hasn’t built up the junk food tolerance that we have I suppose, it takes years to build and I started very young! Carolina is from the Czech Republic, and has a great sense of humor. I can’t imagine the kind of bravery it takes to go to a foreign country where you know no one and the language spoken isn’t your first language, and taking on a monumental task like hiking the PCT. It’s pretty incredible and I have a lot of respect for all the hikers, but especially the foreign ones. We took a picture yesterday before Carolina had showered and she said “I look so dirty and crazy!” 😂 I ask just about everyone “what does your family think of your coming out to do this?” and the most common answers include “they don’t really get it...” and “They think I’m crazy.”

Otter is a 58 year old guy who was in the airforce for 30 years and has spent the last 5 years of his retirement hiking and traveling. He hiked the Appalachian Trail in 2019. Otter said that he decided to hike the AT initially because he read a story of a guy in his town who hiked it when he was 18. The guy had to ask permission from the board of education in Virginia to graduate high school early in order to hike it, and they told him no, so he quit high school and did it anyways. Otter told us that he read that and it stuck with him, and he made it a goal of his to hike the AT someday. He said it took 35 years, but he always remembered that guy and wanted to do it. Just goes to show that you never know what kind of impact you can have on the people around you! He has been very kind to us and let us come to the Airbnb that he had rented to do laundry and shower when we got into Julian, and we have used the Airbnb as a hangout zone for our whole group yesterday and today, which has been great. After showering and having clean clothes, we almost felt like normal people 😂. In Mt Laguna at mile 42, we showered in a campground bathroom and washed our laundry in the shower like the hiker trash we now are. Real food from a restaurant and a cold drink from a trail angel (people that provide food/drinks/rides to hikers) is also incredible. When you’re living so minimally, the little things are a big deal!

Lastly we have Brandon, who I met on Instagram last year and was also supposed to hike the trail but canceled due to Covid. He ended up getting a permit for this year too and started the day after us (coincidentally he is also a travel nurse). Last night, after hanging out at the Airbnb, We camped behind the Julian Market (they allow PCT hikers to camp there) and Brandon came too. At 5:30 in the morning after just settling back down into his sleeping bag after getting up to pee, he hears a voice say “oh good, you’re up. I really need someone to talk to.” He looks over and sees this strange girl that he doesn’t know (and wasn’t there when we went to bed) who is wrapped up in her sleeping bag. He says “Oh, um..are you ok?” And she says “I have no pants”. And proceeds to tell him that she ripped her hiking shorts and didn’t carry any warm sleeping clothes because they were too heavy. He tells her that she needs to have warm base layers if she is going to continue hiking (and not die) and that she can pick some up at the gear store in town. She tells him that she asked the guy she was hiking with if she could come and cuddle with him and he told her no, so she knocked on some random strangers window at 3 AM and asked for a ride from Mt Laguna to Julian, and the stranger gave her a ride (and luckily didn’t murder her). So that’s how she ended up on that back porch in Julian, possibly staring at Brandon for hours and willing him to wake up to tell him this. Apparently she talked to him for about 45 more minutes and at some point said that she was waiting for her meds to arrive. He said “Maybe you should call your family?” And she said “no way! They’ll freak out” 😬. Landon and I were returning from using the bathroom and we walked right past them, I thought that they knew each other somehow and somehow missed the pleading desperation in Brandon’s eyes to help him in this incredibly awkward 5:30 AM conversation with this random girl. Eventually she ended up going to the pie shop across the street and sitting in there to get warm and charge her phone. Long story short, I really hope that girl is ok, because hiking the PCT is hard enough as it is without having any warm pants. Also, hiking is not a replacement for a support system and therapy. Be safe and get mentally healthy before you hike!!

One last funny story. This morning we were eating at a diner when the waitress came over to take our order. She looked at me hesitantly and said “Um...I’m not sure how to handle this...you have a spider on your hat.” I yelped and threw my hat on the table. She grabbed my hat and took it outside and gently shook it off and de-spidered it for me before bringing it back to me 😥. What a good lady!! Please tell people if they are wearing spiders and help them out. I guess I am just becoming one with nature now.

Anyways, this is long enough, but I just want to say that we’ve had lots of great experiences, seen beautiful scenery, and met awesome people. Even though this is incredibly hard, it’s such a cool adventure and I am loving having a great partner to experience it with me. Hoping my feet are doing better in the next section and that none of my blisters get infected! Our friends helped me shake down my pack today and I was able to get rid of at least a pound in weight. When you carry everything on your back, hips and shoulders, every little ounce makes a difference! Much love to everyone and thanks for the support, it’s been a great first week!

- Joscelyn

P.S. - I’ll post our daily mileage for anyone who is interested

Day 1

Start: Mile 0 Mexican Border

Stop: Mile 11.4

Total: 11.4 miles

Day 2

Start: Mile 11.4

Stop: Mile 26 Boulder Creek Campground

Total: 14.6 miles

Went thru Lake Morena

Day 3

Start: Mile 26 Boulder Creek Campground

Stop: Mile 37.1

Total: 11.1 miles

Elevation gain: about 3k feet 🦶

Day 4

Start: Mile 37.1

Stop: Mile 47.7

Total Mileage: 10.6

Went thru Mt Laguna

Day 5

Start: Mile 47.7

Stop: Mile 63.7

Total: 16 Miles

Day 6

Start: Mile 63.7

Stop: Mile 77

Total: 13.3 Miles

Day 7

Zero Day In Julian

[sweetbyte]

My bakumomo pieces are staring to get longer.

There are almost no arguments between Bakugou and Momo. She knows how to handle and defuse his temper and he never has a reason to be upset with her.

The first argument they have is pretty significant. Momo returns to the apartment they share looking pretty banged up after a fight with a thug who had a troublesome quirk where he could shoot quills. She doesn't get seriously hurt, but she does get quite a few scrapes, cuts and scratches where quills did brush her skin. Bakugou gets upset that she hadn't called him to for back up, or anyone for that matter. Momo, irritated enough that the villain escaped, blows up at the fact that he thinks she's incapable of fending for herself. Things escalate from there and Bakugou ends up walking out. He doesn't come back that night and it stings more than the cuts she's sporting. She doesn't bother with cleaning anything, she only changes into one of his shirts that he left out on the bed, yet again, and tries her best to forget everything that just happened.

She wakes up late that morning to the smell of food and her stomach grumbles reminding her that she skipped dinner last night. She stretches and moans at the soreness of her body. Bakugou walks in with a tray of food, takes one look at her and tsk's. He sets the tray down on a night table next to the bed and walks into the bathroom. When he comes out, he has an arm full of bandages, towels, disinfectants, lotions and pain meds that he dumps at the foot of the bed. She wants to tell him it's excessive, but thinks better of it.

They can only stare at each other, before he moves to her side with the damp towel.

"Sit up and give me your right arm first, so you can start to eat while I check your left."

She only nods and slowly lifts her arm. He gently catches it and begins cleaning and treating the scrapes, cuts and bruises while massaging in between. He carefully patched up the parts that he thought needed to be and he squeezes her hand lightly when he's done. The gesture is short and quick, she almost misses it.

When he's done with her right arm, he looks at her again, and she wants to say something, but she can't find the words. He then brings his hand up to her chin, tilting her head side to the side to inspect her face.

"Did you get any deep wounds?" He asks while wiping down her face with another damp towelette. "No, it was all superficial really. It looked worse that what it was."

He snorts, gets up and walks around to the other side of the bed getting ready to work on her left arm.

"Eat. The food should still be warm. I know you didn't eat last night. " She looks at the spread he prepared for her and starts out light with the piece of avocado toast he's included. She takes a bite and eats slowly, as she watches Bakugou cleans and soothe her other arm. She was right. She has no major wounds, they just appeared bad.

When he's finally done he goes to look at her to ask about where else she had gotten cut. He's greeted by the piece of toast she's eating. She has it outstretched, offering him a bite, and he shakes his head to decline. When he does Momo notices something on his cheek and her eyes zoom into a small scrape. Her eyes then narrow and she shoves the toast in his mouth with no warning before he can say anything and then bring his face closer inspecting it like he had done previously to her.

"What did you do?" Her tone is accusing and worried.

Bakugou pulls back, toast still in his mouth, with eyes narrowed as well.

"Katsuki, what did you do last night?" She asks again and he puts the toast on the side already knowing she's not going to drop the subject.

"Deku and I had a call." Momo knows he's not telling her everything. "For what?" He's quiet a second too long and giving away that he's lying."Don't tell me you went after the guy I fought."

"We didn't go after anyone! He ran into us.." She raises an eyebrow at his lame excuse. "You expect me to believe that. Like I don't know you?" She can see the frustration building up on his face and she knows had she been anyone else he would have already lost his patience.

"Believe what you want! I'm not going to sit here and argue with you like a fucking child!" He goes to stand and walk away and she catches his arm, not wanting him to leave. The moment her hand grips his arm he lets out a sharp curse and Momo shows no mercy as she pulls him back down to sit on the bed.

"What was that?" "Fuck, Nothing"

She doesn't bother ask him anything anymore, but does start to pull up his sleeve revealing his own pricks and angry red cuts. "Give me the Neosporin" Her voice is stern, she's not happy he tried to hide this from her. He tries to tug his arm back, but she keeps her hold tightly on his wrist. "Pass me the Neosporin, and the cotton balls, I mean it." "No, I told you it was nothing, dammit. Now let go." Part of her is used to his stubbornness, she knows he would much rather hide any injury from her because he doesn't like to be doted on. He still has a lot of trouble when it comes to his pride, but right now she doesn't care. She ignores him and she calms herself down enough to create her own septic materials she needs to clean his cuts. When she's done, he's looking at her highly upset.

"The fuck are you doing, you haven't eaten to replenish your quirk! Are you stupid or what? I told you, this is nothing! Why do-"

"Shut up!" She quiets him and starts rolling up his sleeve. "You claim these are nothing, yet you bandage me up like a mummy for the same thing." She works on his arm pretty quickly, she has more experience than him in cleaning and making sure the cuts won't get infected, and he doesn't have that many to begin with. She doesn't bother with bandages because it would be a waste, the cuts aren't deep enough to need one and he would tear them off in a matter of minutes.

"There, done." She's still hurt by his actions because she thinks he really must think little of her abilities.

"You don't understand, do you?" His question takes her off guard, because she doesn't know what he's referring too. "Pardon?"

"You go out there and you put your life on the line. Do you ever just fucking stop to think about the people who give a shit about you?" Momo blinks at his outburst, but she's decided not to back down.

"That sounds quite familiar. Maybe it's due to the fact that it's my job. It's our job. We all go out as heroes ready to put our lives on the line for others! That's how it's always been. What's you're problem?"

"You know that asshole could have really fucked you up if he hadn't decided to run. My problem is that your putting your ass on the line recklessly. You didn't even use your smartass to even think about calling for help, did you?"

"Would you have called for help?"

"This isn't about me for fucks sake!"

"Then what is this about!

"You!" Her eyes are wide and she's stunned. Bakugou is breathing hard but she knows he's holding back, and his posture is tight and tense. "You think I like seeing you come home beat up like a rag doll?" "I don't-" "I can't fucking think straight when you're out alone. And it's not because I don't think you can't handle yourself, I know better than anyone how kickass you are, so fucking quit it with that shit, ok. It's just...." He trails off and Momo finally sees what he's getting to. Her expression softens and she intertwines her fingers with his reminding him that she's still there. 'I'll always come back to you, I promise'

She seals her promise with a chaste, but longing kiss. When she pulls away, she starts to mutter his name but he pulls her back with a promise of his own. They stay like that for a while, before Momo's stomach makes its hunger known.

Bakugou snorts loudly and it soon turns into laugher and Momo can only hit him in retaliation for her embarrassment. "Ow! The fuck!" "Oh, you're not that hurt, you baby!" She takes the omelette from the tray of forgotten food and begins to eat despite it being a little colder than warm.

Bakugou is still chuckling when he goes to take a fork full of omelette and she sways his hand away. "The hell, I made that shit!"

Momo takes a bite and moans for show and nods. "You did. You also made me mad so.." she takes another bite of the omelette to taunt him.

He says nothing at first and settles with taking the fruit bowl. "I can live with that."

"Making me angry?"

"Yeah, you're fucking hot when you're mad. Why do you think I keep leaving my shit on the bed?" He pauses and smirks "You looking hot in my clothes is also a plus."

She all but throws what's left of her omelette him.