#i am just very delighted by how everyone's reactions differ when it comes to the invasion of intimate privacy compared to cheating

[ctl-yuejie]

hmmm something something boston slept with someone's boyfriend but mew actually duplicated revenge porn

[my-rose-tinted-glasses]

I'm watching too much stuff. And things are not slowing down with all the things coming in September. So I'm gonna try and keep this short. As much as that's possible given the amount of shows.

QL - Currently Watching

🇹🇭 4 Minutes [6/8] - Finally some answers. I haven't read all the theories floating around about this last episode and what it means, but I'm firmly on the side of, there is another alternative timeline, probably from when Tyme is dying at the start of the show, and also very much in agreement with everything @lurkingshan wrote here that these are just imagined do-overs and nothing will actually change in the real world. Which would be my preferred way.

🇹🇭 Addicted Heroin [2/10] - Haven't watched this weeks episode yet. My review for the first two is here.

🇹🇼 First Note of Love [4/12] - I like them a lot. And I like the pacing of this. I love the intro song. But with a second couple being introduced I think I'm gonna get frustrated having to wait a week for a 20 minute episode. I felt that way a lot during Kiseki.

🇯🇵 I Hear the Sunspot [10/12] - I am annoyed.

🇹🇭 I Saw You In My Dream [7/12] - May the boyfriend era commence. I am enjoying this one. I'm guessing we still have a bit of angst coming and I'm hoping for a good explanation for the dreams.

🇯🇵 Mitsuya Sensei no Keikakutekina Ezuke [6/7] - Just such an incredible show. This week brought the pain and I'm still unwell. As if Frito getting sick wasn't heart breaking enough, that ending left me in tears. I cannot believe we only have one episode left. I am not ready to say goodbye to the three of them.

🇹🇭 Monster Next Door [6/12] - My favourite thing about this is definitely Big. His presence on screen is great. But I'm not fully connecting yet for some reason.

🇹🇭 Peaceful Property [1/10] - It's a lot of fun. Yeah, I know it's not a bl. But it's bl adjacent so it goes here. Also in my head it's gonna be a bl no matter what. Possibly even with a gl side couple. The mind is a powerful thing.

🇯🇵Sugar Dog Life [4/10] - I love Isumi. I really liked that they didn't drag the girl storyline and it served it's purpose. Isumi is now very much aware of it's feelings. I'm looking forward to the date episode.

🇯🇵 Takara No Vidro [9/11] - Takara, my love. This boy has my whole heart. I can't believe I'll have to say goodbye to then tomorrow. I'm bracing for part pain, part happy. Please Japan don't let me down.

🇹🇭 The Loyal Pin [1/16] - I'm waiting to binge.

🇹🇼 The On1y One [4/10] - This show will hurt and I will love every second of it. I really like the look of this show and how we get those little insights into Jiang at the end of the episode. The actors are doing great and I specially love Benjamin Tsang facial expressions. I'm curious to see these two together and how their dynamic will work considering their circumstances. Also, always happy to see the revolving door of cameos Taiwan always grace us with.

🇯🇵Twilight Out of Focus - It's so beautiful. I'm enjoying that we get different couples even if sometimes it feels like we could have more time with them. I like Rei/Shion a lot, but I do miss Mao and Hisashi. 🇹🇭 The Trainee [10/12] - Just to get it out if the way, the Bamhee/Judy storyline was definitely the right call and @lurkingshan was right all along. Also the way the office came together was delightful and it's great to see Pah getting everyone together and once again being the best friend ever. Now. THE OFFICE FLIRTING!!! I was losing my mind giggling like an idiot. I love them. It's pretty obvious at this point that it's mutual and of course Ryan will need to actually be told that, but I still think Jane will wait until the internship is over before confessing or starting anything official. I can't wait to watch all the interns reaction next week. I love it here.

QL - Finished

🇯🇵 Ayaka is in Love with Hiroko! - I'm disappointed in this one. It started off so strong but by the end it lost me. I love Hiroko but I feel like they betrayed the character. And that ending with the kiss in the office was ridiculous. Actually most of the end was weird in the way that it seemed to contradict what came before. I like that they finally got together but it didn't feel as good as it could've.

🇹🇭 Century of Love - Started of great and imo fell apart by the end. I don't think it was consistent all the way through and the mythology was all over the place. Daou did an amazing job though. Also Ju is one of the greatest female characters of the year.

🇯🇵 Cosmetic Playlover - Pretty show. Final thoughts here.

🇹🇭 Knock Knock, Boys! - Probably the biggest surprise of the year for me. It's great. I like the development of both couples. Even if near the end I got a tiny bit annoyed with Peak, I really liked the conclusion of it all. Latte is a great character and the very rare slut unjudged by the narrative.

🇹🇭🇨🇳 Meet You At the Blossom - Look it's great that we got a chinese bl, but this was not it for me. Let's hope this one helps get others made though.

🇹🇭Love Sea - It was fine. I enjoyed Mut but in general I just never connected to this show. And Muk annoyed me to no end. I was so happy to see Aya again and now I just wanna forget that she was ever in this and simply remember her as Yiwa.

🇹🇭 SunsetxVibes - I don't even have words. I don't know if it was my lack of attention or if it never actually made sense but I never really got what the mythology was all about apart from inspiring a truly horrendous looking necklace. I was slogging though this one and I guess the finale was fine.

🇹🇭 This Love Doesn't Have Long Beans - The sides were great, their chemistry was on point. I really wanna see them again. The mains were my favourite thing about Pit Babe but I just didn't like them here.

🇹🇭 The Rebound - I just have to accept that MeenPing will always have bad scripts. They are pretty together but this was a mess.

Dropped

🇹🇭My Love Mix-Up!

Rose Watches OJBL

Pornographer: Spring Life | Playback | Continued Spring Life Finally finished the novelist. Final thoughts.

A LOT of stuff coming this month so if you haven't checked it out, here is the post with all announced upcoming qls for September with a couple of updates that I made today.

As usual my ask box is open. Have a wonderful week💜

[thosewildcharms]

Well i was talking about towl fav ep and fav richonne moment but i want your thought on twd too now :)

thank you so much clarifying anon, and for the question! i think the easiest way to do this is to break it up by show.

towl

favorite episodes: I think it goes without saying that just like everyone else episode 4 is my favorite. it's a stand out not just for towl but for twd as a whole and is magnificent from start to finish. as for the rest? i have a lot of trouble ranking them actually because i love all of them for different reasons, but I guess my other favorites in no particular order are:

6 because it was just SO satisfying. that reunion seriously healed something in me. I love the flashbacks and how their pillow talk was incorporated throughout.

3 because it had me literally screaming at my tv and i love angst <3

1 because i didn't realize how much i missed rick grimes until i got him back, and i'm still so impressed by how much they accomplished in that one episode. also i think andrew lincoln was phenomenal and the ending was perfect. it gave me that WE'RE SO FUCKING BACK!! feeling that set the tone for the whole series.

favorite richonne moments:

the family reunion in episode 6 goes without saying right? it's all i wanted from the series and they gave it to me and it was everything

like, all of episode 4 lol but the standouts for me are "you don't have to thank me ever" (like, that whole sequence of him saving her) "the only time I feel safe is when I'm with you" (because i'm STILL reeling from that) the without you I die monologue obviously and i also really love the specific way rick's voice cracks when he says "you think I didn't want to be with you? I tried everything" and the way michonne's lip trembles in response. i talked about how rick is suppressing his emotions throughout that entire episode and that's one of the few moments he loses his composure - it's SO effective

the full reunion in episode 2!

rick putting the ring on michonne's finger MID THRUST. hello?

the proposal! his nervousness! her obvious joy and delight! i actually really love how light and funny they were all throughout episode 5. i re-watch all of those scenes a LOT

rick pulling his gun on thorne when she put her hand on her knife while interrogating michonne/rick stepping in front of thorne's gun when she had it pointed at michonne.

MICHONNE THROWING THEM OUT OF THE HELICOPTER

an underrated moment from the finale i really love is when rick grab's michonne's fingers when thorne orders them to walk with their hands up. i love that he needed that contact!

in the finale when rick says he just wants to go home. he wouldn't have, and they both know it, but i love that he was allowed to express that. AND i love michonne's reaction to it.

michonne dropping her sword (again!) when she thinks rick is dead

i really really REALLY love the dream sequences from episode one. it definitely felt like a huge fuck you to everyone who said they never would have ended up together if the apocalypse hadn't happened. like! sorry but no! michonne is rick's soulmate! die mad about it!

twd

favorite episodes: 6x10 the next world, 7x12 say yes, and 3x12 clear for obvious reasons. I also really love 6x09 no way out for having one of my favorite richonne scenes ever, 4x09 after, 4x11 claimed, 5x11 the distance for the amazing richonne build-up, 9x01 a new beginning (richonne just feel VERY married), 9x05 what comes after because i was tense and distraught the whole time even though i was spoiled for the ending, and 9x06 who are you now: michonne's grief is so palpable even years later, danai was incredible and that scene with judith at the end wrecks me. plus the RJ reveal!

favorite richonne moments:

"i've never seen your face like that before." listen. LISTEN. years ago i saw a gifset of this exact scene right here on tumblr dot com and it was so cute that i decided i would watch the zombie show if those two get together. and now HERE I AM. it's the scene that started it all for me, and it's still one of my favorites because it's so cute.

FIRST KISS ON THE COUCH. arguably the best first kiss of all time

all of say yes but SPECIFICALLY when michonne drops her sword, and how she jumps into his arms when it turns out he's alive, the panicked way she says "no no no" when rick tells her she could lose him. but also, how goofy and silly they were the rest of the time. they have fun together! they don't just love each other, they like each other!

THE END OF 6x09 WHEN RICK WALKS OUT INTO THE HERD. michonne loses her shit completely in a way we didn't see again until the bridge. nothing is more terrifying to her than rick (or her kids) dying, and that will always get to me. the way she was the FIRST one out the door once denise gave the go ahead? the fact that the ONLY thing that kept her from running after him sooner was the fact that carl still needed her? GIRL???

rick smiling at michonne and carl on the train tracks AND the "i'm okay/I know/how?/because I'm okay too" exchange also on the train tracks. i'm a 'rick fell in love with her on the train tracks' truther forever and ever amen.

that hug at the end of 7x10 and the little kiss on her forehead :)

"I'm still with you." everything about that scene is just the two of them saying "i love you" without actually saying it.

"we should go to washington" oh my god the look on her FACE

in 4x09 that whole sequence where michonne sees herself in the walkers, kills them all, makes the deliberate choice to follow the tracks and they lead her directly to rick and carl???? the way she LOOKS TO THE HEAVENS AND CRIES??? rick's incredulous laughter and "it's for you"? what kind of invisible string tying you to me-soulmate bullshit?

the 9x05 "do you know why i fell in love with you?" dream sequence

9x01 "how'd I get so lucky finding you?" the domesticity of that entire scene.

first meeting at the prison. it's SO charged and it's so amazing to re-watch that scene and be like rick!!! that's your wife!!! and again. towl just confirms it really WAS soulmates meeting for the first time. incredible!

[impossiblepluto]

Hello bonjour I reread Adversary + Antigen and ignoring the fact that I am now screaming in every possible way except physical (and, even though I knew what was coming this time, I still had a physiological stress response to your words (<- big big compliment)), I am also gnawing on my laptop thinking about McClain and Reese's reaction and response to seeing Mac.

I am just. I am thinking about how much do they know??? Has Yasmin radioed over and given them the scoop?? Does Yasmin even know what went on in the back there (😱)?????? Like despite (or maybe inspite of) the fact that Mac's got about a thousand different reactive molecules moving through his blood stream right now, he's still somewhat combative I imagine. Or at the very least, I'm sure there's a good chance that some of those drugs are going to wear off before everything is sorted out 😬

Anyway whilst thinking about this I inadvertently made a chart in my head and thought it would be funny to share with you:

pros of epi wearing off: less wired mac who can breath without his entire body vibrating and causing panic on top of panic

cons of epi wearing off: anaphylaxis comes back and says hi!!!! because it is annoyed it got pushed off of metaphorical center stage

pros of sedative wearing off: mac feels less betrayed, more in charge of his body with more autonomy

cons of sedative wearing off: PANIK

...I'm not sure what this ask is anymore at this point. I just need you to know that my brain is entirely occupied thinking about what the future has in store for Mac and I am wondering if there is any hints or thoughts that I can have to munch on in my brain <3

Bonjour friend (I cannot read that word without seeing the polar bears peeking their heads out of dens or into portholes memes, and I am delighted to realize that)

I am also delighted to hear that you reread Adversary + Antigen. I was completely spoiled by the comment you left on that fic and now I get another one + more Vi thoughts. Ah! Amazing. An embarrassment of riches.

Not sure if it's the worst thing I've done to Mac but it's the most in depth I've gone. I got a little tightness in my chest and throat while writing it.

Reese and McClain hearing about what happened to Mac, the panic attack, and getting to witness one of their own is a moment that I am anxiously awaiting to share (and finish writing) Originally, Mac was going to make it all the way to Phoenix Med, where he would again stubbornly insist that he was not laying down, not riding into the building on a gurney, and mostly unsuccessfully struggling through the halls with his entourage, before his facade completely broke. I was as shocked as Jack and Ed when Mac began fighting for his life in the back of the ambulance.

I think I might have to do Mac's attempted escape from someone else's POV. Yasmin does know some of what happened and has radioed ahead so McClain and Reese have an idea of what's coming through the doors. Also, everyone is putting the puzzle pieces together a little quicker and confirming what they suspected. And Jack is struggling for many reasons.

One of the things that has me stalled is getting Mac's headspace right- and portraying so it feels genuine. The epi, adrenaline, and emotions are still thrumming under his skin, but the sedative is making it feel strangely distant even though it's right there. The loss of safety, security, autonomy, he expects that from Murdoc but from his friends and the people he trusts, that betrayal feels like a sinking pit. If he expresses his needs who would listen? Even his anger feels muted, but will be making an appearance that I'm very excited about. Regulating his emotions and his responses are beyond his ability so he's oscillating between this betrayed, submissive compliance, seething anger, embarrassment about his outburst and shame that he allowed Murdoc to do this to him. Everything that anyone says or does feels so patronizing. There's a detached clinical part of him too, and while he wants to lean into that part, that's worse for everyone else watching.

I love your chart because it's all the same stuff going through my head. I'm trying to fit a little bit of everything in there. The half-life of epinephrine is very short (epi is just to stem the reaction and keep you alive long enough to get additional treatment) so he might start feeling the foreboding, prickly sensations growing again before this is over.

Thanks for the ask, friend! It has reawakened my excitement for this fic when I was starting to get too in my head about it! If there is something specific that you've been like "i hope she does This!" feel free to share because there are a lot of directions that I'm still trying to decide on

[ronanceautistic]

helloo fellow ronancer!! first of all i love your hoh nancy hc's, they're both delightful and heart wrenching :-)

if it's not too much to ask do you have any angsty robin hc's? esp after all the vecna stuff, how do you think she'd cope with it? it's so upsetting to think about how she used to be some rando and then as soon as she steps foot into the upside down she almost died. i need to hear your thoughts pal!!!!

Thank you!

Robin angst! Something I wish I talked about more.

I think Robin sort of takes comfort in like the “shoulder to cry on” role, as it is easier than dealing with her own feelings. Did Nancy have a nightmare? Robin will stay over! Is Steve struggling with his wounds? Robin is here to help! She is very very good at making it look like she has it all together, by spending as much time focusing on other people and in a way processing her trauma through them. But I think when she is alone she doesn’t know what to do with herself.

I think that’s a hard thing for her especially, because I think she is introverted, she needs time to decompress after socialising but at the same time isn’t great at being alone. She needs other people around to take her mind off of stuff in a way.

One of the ways Nancy and Robin completely clash is Nancy is very focused on the task at hand and will do everything to forget her trauma, and fixate on something meaningless (that means everything to her), but Robin wants to talk about what happened but doesn’t know how to ask for herself. If she said to Nancy “hey, I’m really struggling I need to talk about this” Nancy would absolutely listen to her, but she just can’t seem to open up in that way and it comes out as “hey, you’re struggling, can we talk about it?”, and Nancy absolutely pushes back against that.

I also think Robin has had a kind of inferiority complex her entire life and it only worsens hearing all the horror stories of what Nancy, and El, and Will have been through. Robin went through something incredibly traumatic but in her head she can’t help but turn it into to a competition and think “well they have been through worse and they wouldn’t be reacting in this way”. It’s hard for her to admit that people have different reactions, and maybe something that doesn’t bother Nancy is a trigger for herself. I think because of being gay and probably autistic she’s had that sort of “why am I not being normal about this when everyone else is” mentality her entire life.

I think a big moment for her is opening up for the first time (to someone other than Steve) about what happened in the bunker. She spills out every detail to Nancy (who in Robins head has been through so much worse), but Nancys reaction is like “oh my god, that’s horrific, I can’t imagine going through that”, and finally in Robins mind it clicks that yeah, it was horrific. She is absolutely right to not be okay. I think she definitely would break down maybe for the first time since it happened when someone else is giving her the validation her mind wants but can never seem to ask for upfront.

[rottenbrainstuff]

IWTV S2 ep 5 - the good Young Daniel shit. TW: mild suicidal ideation? imp of the perverse? or something?

Nice, I was really waiting for this one. I just love Young Daniel, I find him so incredibly delightful, and I’m trying to pin down why.

Part of it of course is that the actor does such a good job, part of it is how charming I find his big goofy grin, how he flips back and forth between XD and DX so quickly. But I think it’s also because since episode one we’ve focused mostly on nothing but vampires, who’ve had decades or centuries of trauma and grapple with super-human sorrows and fears, and even old Daniel has had a full life of disillusionment and regret and physical pain. But here's Young Daniel and he is so different from everyone, even his future self, so young and naive and fresh, really the absolute antithesis of every other character we’ve got used to at this point. Maybe that's it.

Armand continues to be so pathetic to me in how simple he is. Like, while I watch all this, I'm reading up on V:tM for my daughter's game, and like. Armand isn't running some elaborate political long-game with complicated motivations only a 7th generation methuselah would understand, it's all just so pathetically basic, he wants someone to love him (Lestat, Louis, Daniel... doesn't matter who) and he doesn't understand why no one loves him like he wants. Man I remember his face back when Louis was talking about his Lestat hallucination, the very bare hurt. So lonely and so simple.

Mr. Easeful Death. I found this whole bit extremely disturbing, because Assad is a good actor and the whole thing is extremely comforting and compelling to me, like an anglerfish lure drawing the deep sea fish right in. It would work on me, in a heartbeat, and I find that disturbing to contemplate, like standing at the edge of a big drop and being terrified of how easy it would be to fall. Armand's little merciful hunting that he talks about in that one short story, finding the people who are so tired of being alive, or finding the people who desperately want to be consumed by a demon lover, and becoming that for them, yeah that would work on me, pathetically easy. Don't Fear the Reaper and all of that jazz - I would be gone, gone immediately, gone before he even finished his spiel. Rest - my god, yes please. I am so tired. And so, I found the whole scene so incredibly disturbing. Armand is the feeling of comfort that comes at the end when someone is freezing to death, the relaxing nitrogen narcosis that urges the deep sea diver to do something stupid and sink to their death, the light that lures the little fish right into the mouth of the anglerfish. That is 500% my jam, that scares the shit right out of me, gentle loving death as a mercy, a service, a putting-out-of-misery, yikes. It's terrifying. I fucking love it.

To my surprise though, Daniel fights against it. He has things he wants to keep working on, his life isn't pointless, he likes his life, he wants to live. Broke my heart. Perhaps you could say that my surprise with his reaction comes from my own extremely bad world view. But I wonder if that's not the normal reaction Armand usually gets. He didn't really react to Daniel's objection - I kind of wish he did, I think it would be neat to establish this was something that sets Daniel apart and surprises Armand. Armand thinks he's grasped the threads that will help him unravel Daniel's resistance, he's done this so many times before, but this time it takes a couple tries to get it right. I wonder if it makes Daniel fascinating to Armand as well. Oh well! Just a thought.

Poor old Louis, poor old everyone.

I had mentioned I had watched some video analysis of the show (which pointed out the characters I thought were new were actually based on stuff from the book, which I had forgot/missed, dummy) Seems that, understandably I guess, ep 5 was (is) controversial. And now I feel like a bad fan, because unlike a lot of people, apparently, I like that Lestat has done something that is actually unforgivable. I am not excusing his behaviour, I think it's inexcusable, and that's why I like it. I... yeah man. I dunno. I feel like a bad fan. Everyone talked about how book Lestat would not do that. And at the time when I first watched the ep, that's exactly what I thought as well - Lestat was always a shit but he was never this bad. Episode 6 made me think back on that some more though. I just... Look, I don't really care for book Lestat. Not towards the end, anyway. To me, as the books went on, he became more and more like someone's bad dnd character, the most special and the most skilled with the most sad backstory and this and that and blah blah blah and not enough realistic flaws to balance things out.

In the video it said gross fans are excusing his behaviour like oh, well, it's because of xyz abuse, it's because of abc thing, my gosh I even saw a post saying that you know maybe the reason for the ep 5 fight was all because of Amel (lore stuff - it's this spirit of violence and rage that infects all vampires) and that wasn't the "real Lestat" at all like... noooooo no no no no no no *sigh*. I'm not excusing anything. I mean, the past abuse puts things into context and makes it sad and interesting because it's a perpetuation of cycles of abuse, but that doesn't excuse it. I like that Lestat has done something legitimately inexcusable. I liked how shocked I was in ep 5 and how convinced by his sincerity I was in ep 6 and I like how that left me conflicted and confused. I like that it's difficult. I don't want it excused or explained or handwaved, I want it to stay ugly and uncomfortable, exactly as it is.

Man. I really do feel like a bad fan though. Am I the only one who can't stand the later books and wants this show to be 6 seasons max? Two seasons each for IWTV, Vampire Lestat and Queen of the Damned. They can inject appropriate bits of Vampire Armand as needed. And then after that, stop. No more. Am I the only one? Anyways. Creeping closer to the end of season 2 now. I can't wait to see more of Madeline and Claudia, even if it's so sadly short before the big bad wrap up.

[hyenahunt]

Rouge & Ruby: Epilogue - 2 (END)

Writer: Umeda Chitose

Season: Winter

Characters: Hiyori, Nagisa, Jun, Ibara

Proofreading: royalquintet (JP) & Skyress (ENG)

Translation: Mirei (Adam) & hyenahunt (Eve)

Hiyori: And that would mean this is the perfect time for our Venture into V-day Project, yes? Eden's Valentine's Day isn't over just yet...♪

[Read on my blog for the best viewing experience with Oi~ssu ♪]

Time: A few days later

Hiyori: Come and look! Our chocolates are still trending on social media!

They're simply so beautiful that despite their delicious taste, no one can bear to eat them and they're desperate for a way to preserve them instead!

Nagisa: ...Our fans sure think of the strangest things. Why preserve them?

Jun: Maybe they wanna keep 'em as souvenirs~?

I happened to see a blog report of someone's Chocolat Fes experience, too.

It seems like that person was also looking to keep a record of all the feelings they had during it while it was still fresh in their mind, so they poured 'em out into a post and published it on their blog.

Hiyori: So that's yet another way to preserve things, is it? It brings me such delight to know that all these memories of Chocolat Fes seem so engraved upon everyone's hearts. ♪

Nagisa: ... The atmosphere in the venue after Eden's performance was also quite impactful. How would one explain it...

Hiyori: It certainly felt as if we'd enchanted everyone into entrusting their bodies and hearts to us, didn't it? It felt the same as our usual performances, yet ever so slightly different...

Jun: Maybe that's just the atmosphere you can't experience anytime other than on Valentine's Day — or Chocolat Fes, even~

And I mean, we got the exact reaction we wanted ♪ Ibara, you feel the same way, yeah? —

Ibara: ......

Hiyori: Whatever is with that expression? Chocolat Fes went exactly as you envisioned and now we're all talking about it, Ibara — you ought to look a little more delighted!

In fact, shouldn't you be the one to talk about all this?

Ibara: — Unlike everyone else, I'm very busy being productive over here!

Besides, making Eden experience a normal Valentine’s Day or something was all Your Highness's idea, was it not?

Even though Valentine’s Day has passed, why are you making me make chocolate by hand!? I am terribly baffled!

Nagisa: ... Isn't that because Hiyori-kun wanted to experience a normal Valentine’s Day with Eden…?

Ibara: That doesn't answer my question. I demand a proper explanation, Jun.

Jun: Wha? Why're you asking me? I'm literally the second most productive one here, right after you!

Ibara: One would assume so. Though His Excellency has some experience in cooking out of personal interest, he is still new to making sweets. Meanwhile, His Highness —

Hiyori: My job is to cast a Spell of Scrumptiousness on everyone's chocolate once they're done... ♪

Ibara: — Won’t even lift a finger. He is loafing about because Jun won’t allow him to offer his assistance.

And here I am, having done all this work to find a recipe His Excellency can more easily follow, so I can delegate some of the work to him...

Nagisa: ...I've already become a master at mixing ingredients until smooth.

Ibara: Wonderful, Your Excellency, your quick learning is a valuable aid! Now, please combine the ingredients you have just mixed!

Afterwards, put the combined ingredients in plastic wrap and allow to chill in the refrigerator!

Nagisa: … Okay, I understand ♪

Jun: Well, I mean at least Nagi-senpai's actually interested in cooking. For us, I'm pretty sure it'd be faster for me to do everything on my own.

I did consider letting that guy chop the chocolate, but for some reason even just the thought of letting him hold a kitchen knife is kinda terrifying...

Hiyori: ?

Jun: ...but in any case, there's not all that much for me to explain.

Back when I had no idea you worked things out on your own and was stuck stressing over what I said to you, I tried talking it out with Ohii-san...

And during our talk, we realised neither of us had any clue what a normal Valentine's Day was like. We figured you and Nagi-senpai probably didn't either.

So it was kinda gonna be an issue if we were gonna perform at Chocolat Fes without even knowing how the average person spends Valentine's.

And that's how the Venture into V-day Project was born.

Ibara: …But if this was for Chocolat Fes, then do you not find it strange to be doing this after the event is over?

Hiyori: Well, we were just so endlessly busy all the way up until Chocolat Fes that there simply wasn't any time for it.

And now since Chocolat Fes is over, just think of this delicious chocolate-making experience as our after-party for a job well done.

Ibara: …*sigh*…

Hiyori: By the way, once all the chocolate is done, we'll also reenact amongst ourselves the experience of giving and receiving chocolates.

So with that in mind, everyone, do take care to make your chocolate with love...♪

Ibara: With love?

Jun: Ah... Sorry, this part's my fault.

My only impression of Valentine's Day is from a shoujo manga I read, and well, Ohii-san took a look, too.

Seems like that made him wanna experience the whole giving and receiving chocolate thing, as well as all the heart-fluttery excitement that comes along with it.

Ibara: What "heart-fluttering excitement" are you expecting from doing this with unit members?

Jun: Well, we might at least get some kinda warm and fuzzy feeling, right? Not that I'd know ♪

Ibara: — Good grief. I've gotten myself wrapped up in something very troublesome. My hands are still quite full with Chocolat Fes-related work, you know.

Job requests have come rolling in by the dozen after our resounding success.

Nagisa: .. Then, that means Ibara's Chocolat Fes is still ongoing, right?

Hiyori: And that would mean this is the perfect time for our Venture into V-day Project, yes? Eden's Valentine's Day isn't over just yet...♪

Ibara: These are two separate matters.

Jun: … says you, but it looks to me like you're the one who's making the fanciest chocolate here, Ibara~

Nagisa: …I’m curious, what are you making? It looks like the most delicious one here. I'm interested.

Ibara: It's not just “it looks like”; I'll have you know that it actually is the most delicious one. I'm going to make the best chocolates here, appearance included.

Even though we are just making sweets, I don’t intend to lose, after all!

So everyone, please look forward to the end result…☆

Hiyori: Well, after hearing a boast like that, I simply can't wait to see how it turns out♪

Nagisa: … I agree, I'm looking forward to trying it.

Jun: Um, this project isn't supposed to be a competition...

... But well, it's just like Ibara to always crave first place in anything and everything, huh?

Jun: — Alrighty. I'm gonna give my chocolate my best shot, too, so we can all enjoy this Valentine's thing together as Eden~♪

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[smaller-comfort]

I am obsessed with your take on Zahndrekh so can I have a breakdown of what’s in your Zahndrekh/obyron doc? Also if you wanted to talk about how you see Zahndrekh and Obyron’s dynamic I would love to hear it? 

Tumblr really didn't want me writing this one up, for some reason. Kept crashing.

Snecrontyr! Most of it is the longer Thing, which is about Yama. (Obyron stands behind Zahndrekh and glowers a lot! Zahndrekh writes (bad) poetry! There's a battle! Assassins! Obyron has sex with Neb and tries not to think about Zahndrekh the whole time! (Failure.) Setekh is the wooooorst!)

Part two is set immediately after they arrive on Gidrim and rapidly devolves into porn, as all the tension I hopefully build in part 1 comes to a resolution. For pacing reasons I kind of do think these should be separate stories and not just two chapters of the same thing, but idk.

The other two wips in the file are smut set in the same timeline- one where Obyron tops/darts Zahndrekh and has a minor meltdown over it, and one where Zahndrekh dresses Obyron up like Princess Leia and makes him roleplay a concubine. (Obyron is less than enthused, mostly because he keeps forgetting his lines. Zahndrekh has a great time.)

So, this is a very young Zahndrekh, fresh out of the battle royale that is necrontyr military academy. He's brilliant and aggressive and extremely arrogant, and if it werent for his general weirdness and idealism, he'd be just as bad as his peers. He has very old fashioned ideas about chivalry and honor, but his ideals are very firmly embedded in the hierarchical mess that is necrontyr upper society. He's not a revolutionary; he thinks the social divide between the nobility and the underclasses is a correct and natural thing.

He doesn't view Obyron as his equal, and he never will; the power differential between them is the only reason he actually feels as if he can trust Obyron. The fact that he trusts Obyron is at odds with the fact that he also very badly wants to bend Obyron over a table, but that trust is marginally more important to him.

Marginally. Ironically, the more he trusts Obyron, the thinner that margin gets. Once they reach Gidrim, it basically dissolves. I'm not writing any of this story from Zahndrekh's pov, but he's a mess by this point. Not only is he separated from Setekh, but he sees Obyron distancing himself, and he decides he doesn't have anything left to lose if he finally makes a move.

Obyron, meanwhile, just wants to serve his master, because that's his job, and his professional pride is the only thing he has that can't be forfeited to a noble. He isn't supposed to want anything else, and the fact that he does is terrifying to him. He wants to be close to Zahndrekh, but Zahndrekh could replace him at any time. Soldiers are inherently replaceable and interchangeable, after all. So he has to make sure he doesn't make another misstep; he has to be someone Zahndrekh won't want to replace.

It's messy and a little fucked up and not particularly romantic, really. I can't write romantic pining; I can apparently only write characters sitting in different rooms thinking to themselves "well now I will sit here consumed with lust for the rest of the evening."

Other Zahndrekh stuff: his body language is slightly unsettling to everyone. Some of this is intentional; he's more observant and a better actor than anyone gives him credit for, Obyron included. He likes putting people on edge to see how they'll react. (Obyron's pointed non-reaction to his antics delights him. He longs for a straight man. Figuratively speaking.)

Necrontyr use their teeth for threat displays; Zahndrekh always smiles with his fangs out. No one can tell if he's actually thirty seconds from challenging someone to a duel or not, and no one really wants to find out. Not when Obyron is standing behind him with his warscythe, anyway.

He is hiding so much hair under that headpiece. Obyron eventually learns how to braid it for him; Zahndrekh jokes that his skills are wasted as a vargard, and he's going to put all of Zahndrekh's actual body servants out of a job. Obyron does not find these jokes funny at all, and neither do any of Zahndrekh's servants, but none of them are ever going to try to explain that to him. Obyron does like touching Zahndrekh's hair, though- at least, he does once he gets past all of his internal screaming about how inappropriate it is.

If you asked Obyron if his feelings towards Zahndrekh were romantic, he would be baffled, horrified, and slightly disgusted. If you asked Zahndrekh the same question, he would laugh and deflect and then sulk for a solid month about it. He'd try to force a noble title on Obyron so he could make an actual attempt at a proper courtship and Obyron would be so insulted, he'd stop talking to Zahndrekh for another month. Zahndrekh doesn't actually notice that Obyron isn't talking to him until week two.

By month three there would be whispers in Gidrim's court of petitioning the phaeron for a war or something to keep Zahndrekh busy, preferably somewhere far, far away from his crownworld.

I'm not writing any of that story, btw.

I'm not.

[justsomeoneunordinary]

hi May! i really love all the hashitobi fanart you've been reblogging recently! it made me fall in love with that pairing too :)

can i ask what your favourite headcanons for the two of them together are?

you know, this is REALLY not the kind of reaction i thought i'd get once the hashitobi posts come out of the queue 🤣 i mean, i have always been very clear about not tolerating any anti nonsense, but that hasn't stopped any antis from my inbox before. (although, if i STILL have any antis following me after everything, they're probably glad i accidentally shuffled my queue, otherwise all those hashitobi pieces would've come out one after another for a full day at least lol) therefore, your reaction is an absolute delight!!! you're a gem, thank you ♥️

that being said, i'm sorry to disappoint you, but i don't really have any headcanons for them 😅 i only got into them because i was running out of hashirama & tobirama fics to read and went, OKAY well *throws hands up* i GUESS, now i'll have to read incest if i want more of them!!! my interest for hashitobi is more out of necessity because there's not enough gen sibling stuff for them, and while romance changes the very dynamic i'm interested in for them, it's the only alternative i have

(although, i will admit that they're aesthetically a VERY pleasing pair, and i am absolutely an aesthetic shipper (folks who know me from my marvel days may remember me mentioning how i never ship two blond people together because they look the same to me - i still stand by that), and hashitobi not only look so widely different, but also have such very opposing personalities (AND abilities - one creates life, the other plays with death), which makes for a very crunchy dynamic. it's tasty.)

so no, no headcanons but i enjoy their dynamic similarly to how i enjoy my senju bros fics as well - extremely co-dependent (they're each other's last brother and they'd do everything for the other one and to ensure the other one survives) but now 10x more intense if you add romance and sex to it

tender as FUCK - they may be battle-hardened shinobi but they can treat each other no other way but with care and love. (which is funny coming from a dark enjoyer like me but idk, when it comes to these two, i just need them to be SOFT. probably because canon doesn't show them soft with each other so i need it in fanon damnit.) including lots of touching, especially from hashirama's side, while tobirama is more subtle - a litte squeeze of hashi's shoulder here, a little brush of hashi's hair there...

possessive and jealous and over-protective both of them!! hashi plants his mokuton seeds in tobirama to always be able to track him without telling him (not that he needs to; tobirama is a sensor) (it makes for a nice sliiightly dark but not all too dark hashi too), whereas tobirama tries to set everyone on fire with his look alone when someone even dares to look at hashirama for too long, especially one uchiha fucking madara. (let's be real: tobirama seemed already jealous of madara in canon - if you add romantic hashitobi to the mix, that's gonna be even stronger and worse)

i have no problem with adding mito to the mix!!! my gal marries one guy and by marrying him she gets another one as a bonus? my god, good for her, very good for her. she would take care of her boys so good 💖 (i definitely meant that in a dirty way). (on that note, i absolutely do NOT enjoy fics in which hashirama cheats on mito with tobirama (or literally anyone else for that matter), i love hashimito and just mito herself way too much. cheating hashirama does not spark joy. either she's never been part of the equation, to begin with, or she's an active part - there's no in-between for me)

honestly, i just want them soft and loving and caring with just a tad bit of unhinged behavior, and adding incest to the mix makes it simply more intense and spicier too 🤷‍♀️

[bgbrry]

@pikslasrce you asked for my review of ivtw so i wrote up some of my thoughts! been quite busy for a few weeks but i have a few spare hours in the car so i wrote down everything i had brewing in my head. might do a revision some day because this is quite disjointed both with when this was written and having only one (and a halfish) watch. iwtv spoilers dia don't look everyone else probably watched it already.

it's definitely a very intense experience of a show, with the writing probably being the singular most standout thing about it to me. i really enjoy the process of storytelling as a narrative device, so this framing worked super well for me and i was invested the entire time. i liked the way both seasons built up to their explosive finales, with S2 being the one i personally liked more. the theatricality of that particular season really set the tone for the story, highlighting how the way the narrative is told affects our viewing experience. it acts as more something more rehearsed compared to the simple personal conflict of season one, really demonstrating how different the interview is with and without armand's involvement. with that being said, im really curious to see what the particular storytelling style of lestat will be in the coming season, how his certain persona will affect the story being told, and also what that would be.

as a note on the writing - i enjoyed the way the show discussed ones "humanity" and personhood as concept inextricably linked to how they interact with the society around them. you can feel a very personal connection the writers had with the question of taboo, morality and how it affects your perception in society, others you in a very internally understood way. there are a lot of moments of small symbolism but this big overarching theme ended up being my favourite, and im curious how it'll progress with daniel being turned.

i very much loved the characters, they're all fleshed out in a way that feels more "real to life" than just understandable archetypes of a certain character, with the performances elevating this, small moments of expression or reaction i didn't even notice on my first watch but that either elevated the depth of these characters (specifically with daniel) or re-established their innate characteristics (very much with claudia). i don't think i can pick a favourite, as all of them worked incredibly well in the narrative as tools to progress the story, but also the fact that the narrative is largely just a study on how these types of people interact with each other and their relationships definitely helps. and the relationships here are definitely the strongest part, affecting every part of the work. so while there's is a bit of a sadness in, for example, not knowing much about claudia or daniel in the same way we know loius, it adds to a uniqueness in the way the narrative functions. in this way this show is a very carefully crafted and intricate mechanism, with every character, no pun intended, playing their part.

i am curious if they will develop how exactly their powers are supposed to function, as (at least for me) it seems that they work on the rule of cool, which, while not always good, can be frustrating. i don't think a long winded lore dump would fix my problems, but maybe a more in depth exploration of how (for example) one vampire can teach something to another one, and why exactly ones blood can be more powerful in a tangible way.

i had a small problem with the way the show was filmed, while all the shots are very deliberate in the framing, some were quite poorly lit or sloppily executed (ie the nails on the vampires being kinda inconsistent in the appearance?? maybe i missed something but that stood out to me), it was rare but they stood out to me when i saw them.

but to balance out there were a lot of visual elements that i loved or appreciated (specifically the costuming, not an expert but it looked delightful to me). both cgi and practical effects worked well, and i loved the multimedia integration of animation in the theatre sequences in particular. it's such a small detail but it elevated every scene set in a theatre for me tenfold.

overall, it is definitely a show that leaves you with room for thought, i do not think one can walk away neutral from this, which is always a compliment to a work. i can't speak on faithfulness of the adaptation, but as a standalone i was left impressed and curious to see more! honestly a really good time

[fearowkenya]

😂😂😅😅 I keep saying I'll leave a comment proper on ao3.... I swear it'll happen...

But anyway, I just caught up on your "Winds of change" fic, chapter 5 is such a nice transitory chapter. Very sweet and soothing for what's to come LOL I like Shuuji's suspiciousness of the other partnermon because they're rooted in observation that have the right amount of ambiguity to make him feel like he's losing his mind lol Specially with how the others don't seem to acknowledge them at all lol In Saki's case, she's in her feelings and wary and keeping on her ever avoidsnt facade, so it makes sense she doesn't wanna put her hands to the fire. Aoi is always about holding herself back, specially if it could be something disruptive so it makes sense she wouldn't say anything either lol If it's something in her mind, she's gonna over think it and talk about it privately to Takuma or Labramon, whoever feels pertinent, later so 😂 Tough luck, Shuuji. It's harder for me to tell if Miu picks on anything, it could go either way lol But yeah, the doubt about his own perceptions works well for his general anxious demeanor.

I love the way you write Labramon lol Her strong personality and the inherently bossy way she carries herself really comes across lol Very resolute. Agumon also came across so sweetly, that sort of hilarious and apparently simple-minded loud and surprised reactions from him that still underscore how emotional and sensitive he is was really good. And ofc, Miu holding then together and relaxing the atmosphere with her antics was great as well.

seriously, there's no rush or obligation! it means a lot to me that you're reaching out on tumblr to comment (:

oh phew, im so happy to hear that it feels like a good transition between 'arcs'.

yeah, i'm actually having a lot of fun exploring shuuji in this post-waterway but pre-10daytimeskip period of time. ive talked about it before, but i noticed theres not a ton of interaction between shuuji and the others (other than takuma and ryo) that the player gets to see after he makes amends with lopmon and before part8.

based on how shuuji is much more respected by the group after takuma is back from the other side, i think there was a lot of effort on his part to smooth the feathers he ruffled before he underwent that personal growth. it's a shame we don't get to see it in-game, but i know im having (and am going to have) a lot of fun thinking about shuuji trying very hard to build or rebuild relationships with his peers after botching a few of them (notably kaito, though i will say that while i DO have plans for writing kaito-shuuji interaction, they're outside the scope of what im covering in winds of change).

BUT yeah, all this to say, these stunted relationships he has with the group at this point in time is why it's so hard for him to discern if other people's partners are deliberately hiding things from him. jumping to conclusions has only caused problems for him in the past, so he's trying to avoid it and think about things rationally. but that's hard when he has no frame of reference for how the digimon "normally act" , and you're right, the lack of acknowledgement of "suspicious" behavior from the human partners makes it even harder for him to tell if something's off.

i was SOOOO surprised at how fun and easy labramon was for me to write!! i was actually pretty worried about it at first. labramon's a lot more complex than i gave her credit for - i mean obviously the way she treats aoi is FAR different to how she treats everyone else, but i do think that the snark and bossiness is just her way of conveying that she's confident in her methods and wants to use those methods to keep the others safe. she's such a delightful contrast to aoi but if i get into that now we'll be here all day. glad you enjoyed how i portray her! agumon is fun too, he's just so genuine <3 it's very comforting to hear that i'm doing okay with miu too. as much as i love her, i think she's the toughest for me to write after saki.

thank you again so so much for taking the time to write such a long and thoughtful comment. i really do appreciate it!! <3 you have a really solid grasp on the characters as well, so i'm always happy to hear your insight! (:

[funkymbtifiction]

Hey, is this common for high ne? Whenever I am really interested in something a part of me really wants to share that with others (friends, family) but at the same time I also want to keep things to myself because it often feels like things lose their meaning, joy and fascination once I share them with others.

This is what I hear from INFPs a lot of the time. Sharing it ruins it, gives others the chance to hate on it, and feels less interesting than to cradle it inside their Fi and plumb it for the depths of meaning it holds to them. Strong Fi can often override a Ne-driven excitement in sharing what's discovered. ENFPs rush to tell everyone what they have found that they love; INFPs tend to horde and cradle it closer in their soul for a longer period of time, and sometimes others aren't even aware of their interests because it doesn't dawn on them to be transparent about their current fascinations nearly as much.

For example if I read a really good book I kind of want to tell my friend about it but every time I do that and tell my friend that she needs to read it and how good it is and then she actually ends up reading it and tells me she read it and that I was right and the book really was good my reaction usually is “Oh, cool”. At this point all my excitement is gone and I couldn’t care less whether she read the book or thought it was good. I assume this is partly because I have already moved on to a new interest but even if I have not this is usually my reaction.

What if they sat down and read it that afternoon and then could talk to you about it? Would you be apathetic then? I find that I have to strike while the iron is hot, either in talking about things or getting others to watch them and discuss them with me, otherwise the moment has passed before they get around to it.

I think for me it is more enjoyable to have an interest, tell people about it without actually convincing them. In a weird way it always feels as if I have lost when I can convince people to take an interest in something I am passionate about and it somehow is more fun when I can be passionate about someone and everyone else around me sort of knows that but nobody actually ever develops a similar interest to mine. I am not sure if that makes much sense tbh but that is how I usually feel: I want to share my interests with others and try and convince them of giving it a try but I don’t actually want to succeed with that and hope they won’t get interested.

So. Much. Introverted. Feeling.

Another thing regarding interests and I thought could maybe also have to do with fi is that if I have an interest in something that is very personal to me and happens to be something rather rare and then someone comes along with the same interest I immediately perceive that person as an “enemy”. If I have an hobby that nobody else I know has and nobody takes particular interest in but it is something that has always been a strong interest of mine and I tend to be rather good at it and then suddenly a person shows up who happens to have the same hobby my first reaction is always dislike.

Cough. 4 fix. Cough.

My isfj friend is much different because whenever she encounters someone with the same interest she is usually delighted and sees the other person as a potential best friend. Could this be a fe/fi difference that fe users are usually more happy and positive towards similar people, while fi users may perceive similar people in a more negative way or even as a threat of some sorts?

No, it might just be 4ish Fi "I don't want anyone else to be remotely like me." In general, Ne and Fi is glad to talk about things with people, because they may have an angle or insight we didn't consider when we discovered it that could open us up to more exploration!

It is really weird when I have this kind of negative perception but the other person has a positive perception and this person comes up to me and says how great it is to have someone with the same interest and that we are definitely going to be great friends when all I am thinking is how being friends with that person is pretty much the last thing I want to be.

4 frustration confirmed in your tritype.

[filopay]

NULBURNAD

[ 1 ] [ 2 ]

~ History

The wind was ice cold so high up on the mountaintops, the path snakes along through the gaps of the rocks, unsteady and loose. 

Nulburnad was cold when they arrived at the top, another reminder of their mortality.

There stood a statue, the image of a giant wolf with long teeth and three eyes looking down at the fortress below. The people of Skaeld had built it to honour their god, but knowing the god of mountains, its size did nothing to his real image.

"I need a favour." Nulburnad throws the dead rabbit they had carried onto the stoney ground in front of them.

Suddenly, the rock before them moved, it leaped into the air and landed only inches from them. Now in the form of a gigantic wolf, blaring its teeth.

"Not even polite enough to grant me a reaction, sibling." The wolf smacks his tongue, backing away disappointed at Nulburnads absence of a reaction.

"And all you bring me is a tiny rabbit." The wolf pushed the dead body with his paw, watching it flop over, "Should I eat you instead?"

"I am here on serious business."

"Why not chat with me first? I've met Arcos the other day, they said they wanted the items back they gifted you." The wolf cackles, a strange sound coming from a giant animal.

"You told them of me?" Nulburnad frowns displeased.

The wolf just walks around them, wagging his tail as he does, "I told them that you supposedly died. Thought you both were quite close to each other back then. Guess I was wrong. They were more interested in the lost treasure that you hid away. I still wonder, why did you come to me for help and not them?"

"I had to finish what I had started." Nulburnad says, serious.

The wolf flops down next to them, inching closer to the small Sovereign.

"You've made yourself quite cozy in the fortress have you not? Didn't the former Queen help in killing you? Sounds to me like you're after revenge."

Nulburnad scoffs, "I am not so petty. It's just a bad coincidence."

"Coincidence." The wolf muses, lifting his paws to draw the Sovereign closer to him, "Your heart tells a different story."

Nulburnad turns away from the wolf's penetrating gaze, his nosiness nothing they enjoy.

"I want to open mines into your mountain. Help the north support itself." 

The wolf didn't seem eager to talk about business, as he flops down on his side with a huff.

"Whatever you want to do, you always have good arguments for it. Do what you must." The wolf yawns, scratching its chin, "I'm glad you came actually. Heard alot about you stirring up trouble with that one mortal. You're rather fond of him, aren't you? Ralof, isn't it? He is one of my most loyal followers. I could tell you what he thinks of you too." The wolf smiles a toothy grin.

Nulburnad heard their heart beat faster, daring to deceive them. "I came here to discuss the mines. The Nords respect you greatly, Ulgrim. They wouldn't let me proceed without asking you first. I wouldn't be here otherwise."

"What are you afraid of? You know I can read your thoughts." Ulgrim smiles delightedly as he plants his giant head flat onto the stone, one yellow eye looking closely at the small person beside him, "Oh, he reminds you of someone. He is not so different to Ral the sun god, your former friend. Both are very positive and honest personalities. Wearing their emotions on their sleeves. How very human of them. You do have a type, don't you? I can see the resemblance now."

"Get out of my head." Nulburnad hisses, irritation in their movements as they pierce the wolf with a warning glare.

"Then you shouldn't have become my follower, you know. I always wondered what was going on in your head. Even back then when we were racing through the lands. You were so distant, so cold, but I liked your ruthlessness." The wolf then lifts their head again, placing one leg over the other, thinking, "Wasn't Ral there with us? I've barely ever seen you two apart. He was always a delight, wins everyone's hearts so easily, doesn't he? I never thought he could melt yours too. You have a lot of history together. Don't you wonder how he is doing today? If he regrets killing you or do you think he would try again?"

"There is no need to think about what is no longer important. I came to you for matters that impact the present." Nulburnad stared at the wolf, daring him to say anything else about the topic.

The wolf hummed, Nulburnad knew he would have liked to say more, but at least he knew when to stop. It seems the respect they both had for each other, had remained.

Ulgrim walks to the edge of the mountain. Below them sleeps the fortress of Skaeld restless and vulnerable. After a while Nulburnad joins him.

"There are many that disapprove of your arrival. They fear the changes that you will bring, the ones you already made. The Nords value tradition very much - threaten their beliefs and they will cut you down."

"They wouldn't be the first." Nulburnad crosses their arms in front of their chest, looking passively down onto the city, "I am not playing their parent like the former Queen had, there is no need to coddle them. The situation is getting worse, change is inevitable."

The wolf snickers. "You always loved stirring trouble, speaking words no one wants to hear. Don't make it sound like you had no other choice. You're enjoying it, I can tell. It's why Ral cut you down too, there are only so many rules one can break without angering a few."

"Let them be angry then." Nulburnad says, "Someone has to say how is it. I wouldn't want to remain ignorant either. Besides, never thought you interested in the politics of mortals."

"Despite what our siblings say, I am not a feral beast like Shlaegor." The wolf growls, "I have my reasons."

They were silent for a moment, enjoying the night air, the blackened starless night sky pressing down on them from above.

"It's not so much the mortals that worry me. Some gods have become aware of your presence." The wolf was serious now, "Uwila has always been meddlesome in human affairs. She had asked me to investigate you and give her information."

Nulburnad looks at the wolf, the one confidant they entrusted their circumstances with and the one they had asked to keep it a secret.

The wolf cackles then. "I told her to suck it!"

Nulburnad found no amusement in it. Uwila was nothing but persistent. If they had raised her interest, she would soon send someone to investigate them.

"Even the old gods seem to take an interest in you. Seems like the old days, doesn't it? You are only here for a month now and already stepping on everyone's feet." The wolf speaks, restlessness making him stand back up on his paws.

Then he gets serious, head tilting downwards to better perceive Nulburnads small form.

"What I am concerned about is their constant presence. The old gods are lingering around my domain. They never cared for it before." The wolf fletched his teeth for a moment, a nervous habit perhaps, "I can live with you stirring up trouble with the mortals, but you are starting to attract the old gods, endangering my followers. Fate had watched Ralof rather closely as of late. I fear your meeting with him was entirely made by Fate themselves. So tell me, what have you done to get the old gods so interested?"

"Fate had sent the former Queen after me before, in an attempt to stop me. I am not going to fall for the same trick twice. If Fate wants Ralof to stand in my way, I will not be moved by it. The darkness has gone out of control and I will stop it."

The wolf tilts his head. "In all our history together, I never thought you had gained the title god of ice for your personality but I am starting to believe it now. Do as you please, but I draw the line at dragging my followers into your mess. We do not want the old gods here. If you keep antagonising them, I feel forced to act."

Nulburnad almost smiles at Ulgrims threat, it meant very little to them.

"Every god had turned a blind eye to the increasing darkness. As gods, mortals swear on our protection. Who else should be responsible for the misery that has befallen mortality if not to us. Your domain is said to have the highest increase of Underfolk, that should be something you worry about and not the interest Fate has in me."

"We were doing just fine hunting those bastards." The wolf bared his teeth, "It keeps them at bay and it will keep doing so. You're just holding onto your misplaced heroism because you're afraid that Ral has been right in stopping your madness!"

"Fighting them won't help the situation." Nulburnad remained calm, "You can't kill what's already dead. Don't you see? You're just avoiding the inevitable The darkness doesn't spare gods and if you keep eating them, you'll be the next to fall. They will devour you from the inside."

"Ral had killed you for overstepping all the boundaries there are. You are doing it again!" The Wolf barks, "I protect my domain as I see fit. Your criticism is not welcome here!"

"I am doing my responsibility as a god. I promised my followers protection and I will not let them down."

"And see where that has taken you. You are no god any more, dear sibling. Your influence is limited. Give up now, before it's too late."

Ulgrim looks down at Nulburnads small form. Mortal and fragile, but they refused to believe they hold no power. They had seen this coming. Friends and siblings turning on them, it was to be expected when Fate was on their game, but something they can look past. It's not their fault to not see clearly.

Nulburnad knew that they can succeed in their goal. No matter the cost. To achieve it, they could not waver, especially not when they want it the most. Even when they have to stand alone, facing friends and foes alike. Fate was nothing but persistent, but so could they.

Ral had caught them off guard once, it won't happen again with Ralof.

History will not repeat itself. This time, Nulburnad will be prepared and they will defy Fate and cure the darkness for good.

[ivyblossom]

Creators, Fans, and Shame (mine)

This is not going to be a useful exploration that adds any value to fandom. This is just my personal fannish agony, documented in the hopes that I can leave it behind somehow.

I'm struggling to cope with the fact of a showrunner who actually seems to be pro-fan. I love it, it's amazing, I'm so grateful, it makes me happy, but then it also scares me. Can any showrunner start out pro-fan, and stay pro-fan?

Which, as I say it, sounds ridiculous. Surely people who create media like their fans. But we know the truth of it: creators have hated fans like us forever. We are used to being hated. We are used to be belittled and mocked. There's a part of my psyche that is just pure shielding at this point because I'm so used to it that I've gotten pretty good at blocking stuff out.

You know what stuff: I think I still have a copy of a cease & desist letter from a creator's laywers addressed to a fan for deigning to make fanfiction available on the internet: that's the kind of reaction I'm familiar with and used to. (It wasn't addressed to me, it was to someone I knew, but weren't we all making fanfiction available? Wasn't it sort of directed at all of us?) And all the laughing interviews, the jokes, the dismissal, being framed as stupid, vapid teen girls (why must everyone hate teen girls? I ask you) actors reading fanfiction in front of an audience for gross, humiliating laughs (my heart goes out to the fan writer that happened to: I cannot imagine, I just cannot), the discomfort with our existence, the dismay that we have voices and react to things, the outrage. We get embarrassed by it. We police each other to try and prevent it (I am guilty of this, and I'm sorry).

We have often been fans in spite of creators who behave this way towards us. The communities we build around a shared language and the stories we tell becomes more important to us than the original content. Fanwork is often criticism: a repair job, a rescue, a different, better narrative choice, or character choice. Does this kind of negative creator reaction to fandom make negatively-inspired fanwork more likely? I don't know.

It's tough when you admire creators so much and they turn around and sneer at you and laugh at you. It feels very personal and humiliating. Don't meet your heroes, etc. etc. right? I feel very weird about all this, because these creators that I admire so much, they don't know me, they're not aware of me at all. For good or for ill, it's not about me, really. We become a mass, a collective noun. But still, it is, on some level, also about me. It is personal.

I don't know what to do with any of this. the humiliation of getting scolded by a showrunner you admire, or even the delight of their joy in fandom when it comes, honestly. Parasocial relationships are a trip. I am very embarrassed about them. When I see any of my heroes in real life I am immediately so embarrassed by my own anonymous excitement that I can only pretend that I don't know who they are. My own one-sided admiration overwhelms me. And embarrasses me. That's a me thing.

Fundamentally I'm struggling now because I've believed in creators before and been let down by them. I've believed that they understood us and wouldn't lash out and hurt us in these specific ways. And I've been very wrong.

And you know, I don't even mean the queerbaiting, honestly. I mean being framed by people we deeply admire as silly, gross, dumb idiots who got it all horribly, self-indulgently wrong, you dumbasses. That really hurts in a way that sticks.

I have my own way of dealing with the queerbaiting thing, but maybe that's also just my shielding. Maybe I've created a way to process it to make it okay because of how common it's been through my whole life, and how much I want to be able to love certain swaths of media, I don't know.

But I don't need a story to do certain things in order to love it, or for it to be queer enough for me, or whatever. My struggle is with how creators talk about fans rationally reading stories as queer. David Jenkins called it gaslighting, and I think he's 100% correct. To dismiss and deny that the reading is there and reasonable at all is hurtful in a way that I find hard to describe. Gaslighting is the right word for it, because it's an abuse tactic. And that's how it feels.

And now I'm going to get into this: I want to talk about Sherlock. (Oh god, really? Yes. Yes, I'm going to talk about it, hopefully just this once, and then let it go.)

When I first saw Sherlock S1 when it aired, I thought it was wonderfully slashy in a self-aware way, and given that it's kind of a prequel, "how Sherlock Holmes becomes Sherlock Holmes," and how they were already framing the relationship, I figured that the story would give in to the romance on some level, though I figured it probably wouldn't be in an on-the-nose way. I imagined it would be romantically ambiguous to the end, and to be honest, after 4 series, I will still argue that that's exactly what it ended up being.

I remain perfectly confident in the argument that Sherlock is very much a story about two men who fall desperately in love with each other, but have so much personal baggage that they can't do anything with the truth of that love other than wrestle with it, know that it's true and real, and have to find a way to live with the sheer impossibility of it.

Conceptually, I like that story, even if it's queerbaity. I think it's immensely tragic and beautiful, monstrous and beautiful, and while it would suck for every story to be like that, I loved a story that would play with love in that way. I loved writing fanfiction that explored and pushed through that tension. The fact of the romantic impossibility was a sort of invitation to write ways that it could happen. Is that strange? Maybe that's just a coping mechanism I've developed. Anyway. I was okay with the story. It's sort of queering the backstory of these two men in Arthur Conan Doyle's stories, giving them this fraught romantic history.

There's a whole mess in there about fandom conspiracies and whatnot. I really never understood any of that and I was truly shocked by what happened in fandom when series 4 aired. I'm embarrassed that I didn't see it coming when the signs were there, and that I didn't understand it that fannish shipping had tipped over into something else that I still can't completely wrap my head around, so I won't pretend to have a useful opinion about any of that.

What hurt me the most wasn't the way the narrative about the relationship resolved. It was the way the creators talked about it the queer reading of the story, and about us, after series 4 aired. As if we were gross and silly and wrong. And ridiculous. And offensive. And they were angry with us.

I realize creators see fandom from a very different vantage point than I do, and I'm sure there's more going on than I can possibly be aware of, real life stuff, scary stuff fans may have been up to, but the dramatic reaction from the Sherlock creators dismissing all the very legible and originally self-aware romantic elements of their own story shocked the hell out of me, and made me feel...well, stupid and ashamed, honestly. Because I didn't see any of that coming on any level. I thought they understood us.

I didn't, and still don't, see anything wrong with wanting an implied queer romance to go from subtext to text. I didn't see anything wrong with arguing that it could, or even that it should. What would actually happen in the story was a whole other matter, but the fannish conversations about the potential of the narrative were fair and legit, as far as I'm concerned. I never expected to be told that I was imagining it the whole time. I trusted that Steven Moffat in particular wouldn't do that. And I'm embarrassed that I believed that he wouldn't. I'm hugely disappointed that he did.

And I'm embarrassed that I'm embarrassed, because of the parasociality of it all! Steven Moffat doesn't know me. It's not about me. But, at the same time, it is. I'm part of that collective noun. And I wasn't wrong about that story.

And now I think David Jenkins would not do that to us, and I truly believe he wouldn't, because he's already confirmed it in the text and in conversations about the text. We're free. I think he actually understands. He seems to understand it better than I do. I like the way he frames it. He's given me a way to think about all this that's actually very useful, and healing. And because this story isn't gaslighting us, there shouldn't be a whole dialogue about fans getting it wrong and stupid, sex-obsessed girls. Right?

Right?

I need a hug.

[taytjiefourie]

Emotion VS Feeling [In Writing]

More often than not, you will find the words emotion and feeling being used together. Are they similar? I guess, are they the same? Not really. 

I don't sound very certain of myself do I? when it comes to body, soul, and mind, I rarely am admittedly.

Today though, we will be talking about the most basic differences between these two so you know what to do when you write them. I am no scientist, I am no psychologist, I am a writer that did some reading here and there and had my moment of "aha! that's how it works," 

Emotions

now, these babies are universal, everyone feels them and everyone feels the same thing. It was a core integration in humanity's hard drive when we were created. 

Emotions are instinctive and unconscious, they are often physical as well. Our body responds to situations that cause emotional reactions. Like when you're sad, and suddenly it's hard to breathe? or that feeling like gravity decided to weigh you down and everything is just falling even though you're not actually falling? those are physical reactions to emotional situations. 

What type of emotions are there? well, I don't know the answer to this in its entirety. Why? because there are so many emotions that we can't describe or the English language just doesn't have the words for it. This does not mean I don't have an answer, just not a complete one. 

Psychologists have identified twenty-seven different categories for emotions.

Admiration

Adoration

aesthetic appreciation (yes, liking pretty things is actually an emotion)

Amusement

Anger

Anxiety

Awe

Awkwardness

Boredom

Calmness

Confusion

Craving

Disgust

Empathic pain

Entrancement

Excitement

Fear

Horror

Interest

Joy

Nostalgia

Relief

Romance

Sadness

Satisfaction

Sexual Desire

Surprise

but Taytjie isn't there more? what about say envy?

ah yes, Envy, most people have felt that haven't they? now, darling, Envy is a combination of Sadness and Anger. 

you see, emotions are like colors, you have primary colors, then you combine them and you end up with secondary colors, combine those, and woah you have tertiary colors. 

But, listen to this, but then you tread into the feelings territory. 

so let's move on to the next topic. 

Feelings

oh oh oh, buckle up darling, we are going for a ride. 

Emotions and Feelings are connected because Emotions turn into feelings. 

But doesn't that mean that it's the same thing?

no.

Feelings are mental and conscious, they are also completely different for each individual person. Where emotions are universal, the feelings it turns into vary from person to person and situation to situation because feelings are shaped by individual experience. 

let's say you and a friend are both feeling a combination of joy and fear, for you, you're excited but your friend is feeling guilty. you're feeling the same emotions but the end result is so very different.

here I'll add a list of feelings.

Anger

Annoyance

Contempt

Disgust

Irritation

Anxiety

Embarrassment

Fear

Helplessness

Powerlessness

Worry

Pride

Doubt

Envy

Frustration

Guilt

Shame

Boredom

Despair

Disappointment

Hurt

Sadness

Stress

Shock

Tension

Amusement

Delight

Elation

Excitement

Happiness

Joy

Pleasure

Affection

Empathy

Friendliness

Love

Courage

Hope

Humility

Satisfaction

Trust

Calmness

Contentment

Relaxation

Relief

Serenity

Interest

Politeness

Surprise

[eyrieofsynapses]

Redemption Panel Highlights and Reactions

GATORS

i.e., Beth Riesgraf and Christian Kane (mostly Beth) talking about filming the scenes in (what I presume is) The Rollin’ on the River Job, where they’re pulling some stuff out of the water, and finding out the next day that there was an absolutely massive alligator pulled out of the same place just a little while after they filmed it

Beth’s impression of the wildlife folks warning them about the alligators

Beth scaring the hell out of Noah Wyle by yelling “GATOR” at him just after he finished his scene

seriously that was an absolutely WILD part of the panel

Everyone showering Aleyse Shannon with literally all the love!

Aldis Hodge in particular big-brothering her, and also the older actors calling her out for not giving herself enough credit, and Dean Devlin talking about how she blew him away at the auditions with her ability to turn on a dime

Seeing Kane with his glasses off wiping at his eyes, momentarily thinking “you okay dude?” and then realizing that he was laughing so hard he had tears in his eyes

(same)

The The Bucket Job clip! I’ve been a bit meh on a lot of Redemption, just in how it didn’t feel quite right, but that is possibly the absolute closest I’ve seen it get to the original in the best way. Brilliant

Which comes as no surprise since BETH RIESGRAF directed the episode!!! And apparently put an insane amount of effort in!

Beth’s utter delight and joy at both directing the episode and having the crew behind her

THE CHAIR

So apparently she and Christian went to town on the fight scene and he winds up tied up in a chair somewhere along the line and there’s a whole wild scene, which I am really looking forward to

Beth knowing how insanely particular he’d be about things like zip ties vs rope and what kind of rope e.t.c. e.t.c.

Apparently this is also tied into a VERY DEEP scene with Eliot? It sounds like they’re going to go super hard on his backstory, which is terrifyingly exciting

Just. Beth and Christian going very hard on that episode together

Speaking of: the panel’s going amazingly, I’m laughing so hard my stomach hurts, things are relatively light, and then, of fucking course—

Kane hitting us over the head about Eliot being a mass murderer who can’t be redeemed, is trying to stay static so that he can maintain the place he’s in, and is thus LIVING VICARIOUSLY THROUGH HARRY

What the FUCK. This is of course incredibly insightful and perfectly on point (because it’s Kane) but also, EXCUSE ME, OUCH, why would you DO THAT to us?

Everyone talking about having their families on set and their kids!

Beth’s son growing up on the original Leverage set and now going into being a director himself!

Gina’s daughter also growing up on set!

Noah Wyle’s daughter is playing Harry’s daughter I REPEAT NOAH WYLE’S ACTUAL DAUGHTER IS PLAYING AS HARRY’S DAUGHTER

Gina Bellman remaining relatively stoic throughout much of the panel (seriously, this woman, how the heck does she do it) and then losing it when they’re asked about running/inside jokes

A lot of them are, of course, apparently not appropriate to be spoken on-panel

(A lot of the others are the little inside ones that are special enough not to be ones they want to share, which is sweet!)

Everyone collectively losing it over having LeVar Burton on for The Bucket Job

Devlin and everyone laughing about collecting the various Star Trek people on Leverage

Beth talking about Burton coming over while she’s getting ready and asking her if she’s living on coffee and water, her laughing because he was absolutely right, and then him gently reminding her to remember to eat, which is the sweetest thing in the world oh my gods

Kane apparently choreographing an intense scene with Burton and being scared out of his mind, because Burton really wanted to go for it, but to Kane it was like he’s a figurine that’s not to be messed with because he was so worried about hurting him

Kane choreographing a massive amount of the show, which I knew already, but seriously, this guy blows me away

Gina and the crew talking about how he’d be away for a day of shooting a fight and all of them would be missing him and thinking about him

Family Vibes

Everyone talking about how they’re very noisy and loud together on set and it’s a bit like walking into a group of people having Christmas dinner (or something to that effect) because they’re just Like That together

Aleyse being the most surprised by Beth when she met her because she was like a little angel of light during the auditions but turned out to be an absolute ball of wild energy on set

Gina going “wait you were a MODEL” at Beth

Aldis talking about how much he loved how Parker and Hardison’s relationship had developed and grown!

Also, Aldis apologizing when the New York (iirc) background noise got loud and everyone going “no no we get you”

His outfit is ON POINT today

Gina saying that Christian is the goofiest and wildest out of them in terms of humor

(she goes “some of you may not know this,” which, fair, but also, if you’ve seen more than ten minutes of this guy outside of character you know he’s an absolute ball of sunshine)

Gina, Beth, and Christian talking about how they’d challenge each other to stay off sweets back on the original set, because they knew they needed to stay in shape and also just because they’re competitive (apparently all of them are major sweet tooths) and hide brownies and things from each other, while Aldis is just. doing pushups. eating all the healthy stuff. and then wanders into the room with a literal cupful of chocolates

(and Aldis going “well yeah I have to work off the sweets SOMEHOW”)

Beth explaining that sometimes they’d order a “Kane burrito” from Christian and he’d alter it slightly

Like, you know, chopping up hot jalapenos super fine and mixing them in, and Beth practically not being able to talk after the first bite

Apparently Aldis still went back a lot even after that

(Christian just seems very pleased with himself over it)

(THESE PEOPLE)

Gina goes “hey we should have an episode where we all swap roles,” Devlin going “WAIT FOR SEASON ONE TO BE DONE,” and then somebody (maybe the moderator?? I don’t remember exactly) going “uh actually. We did that”

Cue immediate scramble of “WAIT WHICH JOB WAS THAT”

(paraphrasing) “Yeah you remember the bit where you put on Parker’s harness and went off a building?”

Turns out half the cast had actually forgotten that that existed and only remember when reminded

The original cast all think of the episodes as “jobs”!!!!

Everyone talking over each other, Devlin going “it was with Sterling when we blew up the offices,” deciding that it was the season one finale, and then trying to figure out what episode title it was (eventually they figure out it’s the David jobs)

Moderator and Devlin accurately commenting that the fans know the show much better than they do

Noah Wyle very correctly explaining how Electric Entertainment is like a family and Devlin just. Keeps people

Aleyse and Aldis talking about typing when they’re hacking and going “WHAT THE HECK DO WE TYPE”

Aldis goes “yeah I just type all the bad words that we’re not allowed to say”

Aleyse saying that she’s always a little worried they’re hiding a Word document behind the blue screen and they’re going to pull up what she’s typing at the end of the day and print it out and put it in her trailer going “what the HECK is this”

Noah talking about filming The Golf Job and just getting to direct Jason Marsters and Christian together

Apparently their dynamic in that episode accurately mirrors the one with their characters in Angel!

Which promptly goes straight to the comment that it was very hard to make Marsters look like a golfer (pfft)

(Also apparently Christian plays golf for fun with his friends? Not necessarily something I would’ve thought of!)

Aleyse happily talking about how she loved the dynamic on set and it was very different from what she was used to

Also Aleyse talking about doing stunts and everyone else praising her for going whole hog

Beth especially praising her for the bit where she’s hit with the paralysis injection (I don’t remember which ep it’s from) and her acting for it, because it was incredibly hard to drop off screen in the particular way she did

Aleyse promptly answers that she was terrified with some of those, especially one where she had to keep a clock from falling and breaking

Everyone discussing how they see a new aspect of Breanna’s character in The Train Job

Also, to get serious for a moment, Kate Rorick in particular talks about how Breanna’s part of Gen Z and how we didn’t get the “days of yore” where everything was chill. We’ve basically been living in a world of hostility the whole time. It’s something I deeply appreciate, as someone who’s part of that group, and I love how they emphasize that for us.

This panel was pure chaos and I loved every moment of it! My stomach was actually hurting from laughing so hard, I swear. They had me cackling well over half the time. I would happily take panels double or triple the length of this, this was amazing. I also adore how the second you drop these six people in a room together, they immediately take off and literally just run and give you everything you wanted and more. (It is also evidently very hard to get them to STOP talking.)

I’m also just going to stop and take a second to fawn over the effects for the 3D room. It’s gorgeous—I love how they replicated the headquarters, especially with the stained glass ceilings! Super impressive, especially with all the photos, and I just love the whole thing. Kudos to whoever put that together.

Anyway, I’m definitely missing some stuff too; seriously, there wasn’t a second wasted in this thing, they were cracking some kind of joke or dropping some really interesting piece of information practically every thirty seconds. (And I haven’t even gotten into the clips OR the bloopers. I miiiight do a separate reaction purely for those.) It’s still up right now if you missed it and you want to watch it! I’ll probably watch it again, honestly.