#since i am at it - his threat can also not be discounted

[ctl-yuejie]

hmmm something something boston slept with someone's boyfriend but mew actually duplicated revenge porn

[tyran-the-tyranical]

I’m currently writing a fic and writing for Raphael is a little infuriating if I’m being honest.

Mostly because he has such a way about him, and unlike the other characters where there’s some room for deviation, he’s quite rigid in his mannerisms. So I’ve literally been scraping through his dialogue and ‘analysing’ his behaviour, and this is what I’ve ‘boggled’ it down to.

EDIT: This is actually really long, and in fact not boggled down at all, Keep Reading at your own peril...

(OK, So I've completely reorganized this post to be more readable) 

Raphael is a complex and multifaceted character, but here are some main character traits of his that I'll delve more into as we go on;  

-Manipulative and Deceptive 

-Arrogant and Condescending 

-Sadistic and Enjoys Suffering 

-Cunning and Strategic 

-Relishes Power and Control 

-Patient and Calculative 

-Dark Humor  

-Alluring and Subtly Flirtatious  

-Dual Nature and Contradictory  

-Hedonistic and Indulgent tendencies

-Ambition

Though Raphael wants to paint himself as an honest person, that still doesn’t mean he isn't Manipulative with us, he uses many tactics to gain our trust, from crafting this honest and helpful persona to literally threatening us and building pressure to make a deal to escape ceremorphosis. 

"I'm here to help, not harm” 

"I am master here. A prince of bargains cloaked like scarlet satin. All that hidden under sublimely obvious truths that cannot be discounted." (From Chapter 3 of his Diaries) 

“Come now, why playing hard to get when you're in deep over your tadpole head all those pretty little symptoms sundering skin dissolving guts they haven't manifested yet have they?" 

"I'll be around watching you squirm like a tadpole through a nice juicy brain" 

As we progress his threats go from subtle to outright fear-mongering, but this also goes into somewhat of his dual nature as when he moves past his honest persona to just pressuring you, he still wants to paint himself as some sort of Saviour. Of course, this is also just another tactic of his, painting himself as a friend or helper, as though he doesn't have his own ulterior motives, which sure he admits outright but in the ending where you do give him the crown he drops this façade and tells you he's planning on taking over more than the hells and will eventually come for you next. I also think this bleeds into his own needs to be adored, you can see this further in his little plaques he has around his house. 

"Am I a friend? Potentially, an adversary? Conceivably, but a savior? that's for certain. Try to cure yourself. Shop around - beg, borrow, and steal. Exhaust every possibility until none are left.  And when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair that's when you'll come knocking on my door. Take all the time you need but make up your mind before you're counting down with tentacles"  

Additionally, this all just feeds into his performative nature - to the extent that he sometimes borders on narrator territory. He has his little monologues as he talks about us as though we’re characters in a story and he’s just recounting our actions to some unseen audience.  

[His speech before the Yurgir encounter is a good example of this]

 

"Through the dark, she went creeping and awoke what was sleeping" 

"The Shadows grow long and the hour is late" - also wherever this quote is from works well too 

There are even more subtle moments where he's still being performative, even when he's not physically present, which goes into his desire and constant longing to be seen as something akin to a True or Full Devil (or archdevil). Since he is a cambion he is restricted a lot by his mortal half. He is held back by his human needs like sleep and presumably food too. I think he tries to cover for this through excess, as if you go to the HoH in Act 3, you can see the food on the table is just filled to the brim of just rotten food, basically all of it wasted. Also, there are loads of scattered areas that have fruit or wine throughout his house. I believe he does this on purpose to try to come across as though food is nothing but a pleasurable activity he indulges in now and again rather than a necessity and he doesn't care if he wastes it (Also just saying he's rich, let them eat cake, L + Ratio). 

However his façade isn't perfect since he is still fallible, and he can fail/die. We can see this because, at every opportunity he possibly can, he attempts to convey this front of being omnipotent and powerful - as close as he can to an archdevil. To be fair, he manages to do this pretty really well, At times he can even come across as this truly unbeatable force, that we can’t ever truly defeat. This is exemplified by the fact that, even if we kill him, if we look in his logbook of previous visitors, it hints at him trying to find a way to cheat death by transferring his soul into a clone or something adjacent. 

Now whether he ever managed to accomplish this by the time we attack him is uncertain, (though there is a non-canon / cut content line where he begs for his father's help as we fight him, kinda of insinuating he never fully realized his backup plan in time and he’s actually afraid he’ll die, but that’s also not in the game so who can say for sure) 

“I cannot lose to you. Not here. Not in my home. I cannot die! Mephistopheles, hear your son! I am at your mercy - save me!” - NOT CANON BTW, but omg do I love this line 

Another slight hint that Raphael might not be as indestructible as he'd like us to believe is when he is playing lance board with Mol. 

"My, the double counter Gambit. Vicious. Exactly what I would have done" 

Now for all intents and purposes Raphael does not need to win against Mol, that wasn't the purpose of their game, either way he already had his eyes set on her to make a deal anyway. Yet it demonstrates that whether you cheat or actually manage to outwit him, he can be beaten, since he can't hide behind a persona when playing (Mostly). 

Furthermore, Raphael is like an English teacher, he loves his little similes and metaphors, and just talking in a verbose manner, and it’s not just word vomit, no no no, he makes it sound interesting, he is performing for us after all. For me personally tho, it’s difficult to replicate, unlike other characters or companions where you can deviate their dialogue, like hearing Astarion say ‘fuck you’ to Cazador, I don’t think you could get away with that for Raphael.  

"The mouse smiled brightly it outfoxed, then down came the claw and that love was that"  

"Perfect, one more rhyme for Old Time's sake; The master was slain within his own house, they dined on him both, the cat and the mouse."  

"Like a mosquito nibbling at a dragon, be gone"  

I also think it's so interesting that the man who does nothing but spout rhymes and poetry will say this if you call his poetry out for being dirt; 

"I admit it isn't my primary interest not, by any stretch" 

Excuse me, sir?  I do think he genuinely likes poetry/writing in general, he supposedly even wrote a play before sooo, also I just think that all these contradictory things he says are on purpose, he's trying to be mysterious to some extent, and he doesn't want you to be able to gauge or understand him, he just wants you to believe in his persona he's crafted for you and that's all. Though like I've said before, his mask can slip off, especially in private or when he's enraged. An example is when he's referring to his employees who have failed him.  

"[A record of various associates of Raphael's, listing their duties, and their respective performance.] 

Korrilla Hearthflame - field work - so far I've barely 

had to singe the tips of her fingers. This one shows promise. 

Archivist - naughty boy, supposed to be looking after the collection, 

but has a tendency to drift. May have to start breaking his neck to 

give his spine a chance to recover. 

Nubaldin - little shit let Gortash get away. Not letting 

him near the prisons ever again. Chamber of Egress will 

do fine until I find a replacement for him." 

Moreover, he’s also very condescending/patronizing. (I think even in one of his dialogues, the devs noted he should even come across that way). I think that’s just a part of his little superiority complex, he’s the chess player and we’re all just his little pawns (that is until we kill him ourselves, it almost makes me think that Tav/Durge is actually the other player in the game and to some extent Raphael knows this and tries to play accordingly). He constantly wants to portray this cool and confident personality, that he’s accounted for every possible outcome (and in a lot of ways he has) and that even if he doesn’t get what he wants, it doesn’t faze him, and in fact, he’ll try to make it seem like either way it benefits him, and sure in some ways it might, but I do believe he’s just saying that to mask his failure to achieve his goal. 

"I should snuff you out and make coin of your soul, but it will be more amusing to let you see the consequences of your actions. Do you really think that the crown is safer in the hands of a goddess than in the claws of a devil?" (Look, I don't like Mystra, but do I think the crown is safer with her? UH yea)  

"Such an eager little pup."  

"You really do think highly of yourself. My sights are set on something much more valuable than your soul, succulent though it would be."  

He's Definitely pissed at us for being a little shithead and giving the crown to Mystra (even tho in the game if you complete Gale's quests you rlly have no choice lol) But he still tries to play it off as this will be terrible for you but great for him, since if shit hits the fan, he's just gonna get more souls - Though I'm sure this is him just trying to save face, or at least to some extent. We can see him actually lose his composure if we ascend Gale. 

"Do not toy with me, Wizard!" - R 

"I thought you liked playing games? You can have the crown Raphael, but you'll need to come and collect it from my realm" - G 

"You can't do this!" - R 

"I hit him where he's most vulnerable, pricked his pride, and sent him back to the hells to lick his wounds. He'll be back, the question is will he find us side by side?" - G 

This is really fun to see since even Gale knows Raphael has no power over him and can just mess with him, and initially, Raphael tries to gain control by saying like 'Oh no, I'm not going to take the crown Gale's going to give me it, like we agreed' and then when Gale fucks with him and it utterly infuriates him because there's not much else he can do really since Gale, though he might not be as powerful as Mystra, is definitely more powerful than Raphael. I also think it's very interesting that, even though we've basically gone against Raphael and screwed him over, he doesn't plan on taking it out on us, and I know he says he wants us to see the consequences of our actions but I think there's a different reason to why he doesn't take action against us. I think he's genuinely afraid of us, let me explain. He was clearly already afraid of our potential before any of the endings, shown in his dream he wrote about in his diary, and when we manage to survive everything that the game throw at us and defeat the nether brain, we've basically become undefeatable (Not really but you get what I mean) The only time he even suggests he'll take one of our souls is if Gale explodes while trying to ascend and well, there's not going to be much resistance since he's already blown up. 

"There was one among them who spoke for the rest. They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me. 

In waking, my courage has firmed. I progress my plans for

the tadpoled even now. 

I am Raphael. I am not easily bested." 

Raphael is not only fueled by his ambition but his fear (I'll talk more about that later too) and so he acts accordingly, he plans and schemes for hundreds of years trying to account for every possibility, and at times he can even come across as a total control freak lol. He has Korilla literally stalk us throughout the game, he also knows personal facts about our companions (he’s done his homework), and he’s literally planned and orchestrated events in the plot to help lean towards us giving him the crown in the end (it’s implied he helped vlaakith chain Orpheus or idk some other devil did with infernal chains, and he’s the one who helps wipe Ketherics lil army to just one justiciar) he’s had a lot of time to plan and plan he has. He’s constantly aware of your movements since he picks very specific points to appear to you.  

"[Laughter] The good thing is though there's only one little voice you really should listen to, Mine" - Total control freak behavior  

"you'll be back, it's something of great importance to your master is it a love letter a warning or a deed of ownership I can give you all the Gory details"  

"Carved into that Ivory skin of yours is one part of an infernal contract between the archdevil Mephistopheles and your former master" 

"Karlach, why does that name ring a bell? hmm, perhaps I read it in a book somewhere." 

An interesting thing to note is that I think his controlling and performative tactics are the ultimate reason to why he inevitably fails (If you decide to kill him I mean) Since he's spent so much time controlling the narrative literally and figuratively, he's literally altered events leading up to our arrival so that we can give him what he wants and he even talks about us as if we are just a character in his story he's created, he's been doing this so long he truly believes he can control the narrative, that he's predicted every outcome and he really doesn't think we'd go against that we could go against him. He's been so out of the narrative himself, an observer who might nudge things to go his way now and then but never be in the action himself that he truly believed he was untouchable, that he could just float above it all like he did with Karsus’s folly happened. 

Now onto an aspect of Raphael I find very interesting – His relationship's with those around him. As I said before he’s a total control freak, and that’s clearly fueled (if not caused) by his narcissism and we can see that even outside of our protags. Look at Haarlep for instance, (there’s so much to dissect with these two) but Raphael strictly has Haarlep made to look like himself, and is the only form he’ll sleep with. There isn’t just one answer to why he’d do that, firstly, it just boils down to him being a narcissist sure, but on the other hand a point can be made that he’s doing it strategically. 

Haarlep was sent to distract him, and presumably to spy and report back as well (Hypothetically, it's not confirmed) and presumably, Raphael is clever enough to realize that. So why would he reveal anything about himself in such a vulnerable way, so why not just make the incubus be in one form and one form only? It also serves as a lil bit of a punishment I suppose, since Haarlep can be 1000 different people but is forced to stay as one. There’s also another angle to this, that narcissists generally find intimacy difficult, and being vulnerable with other people. So why be vulnerable when you can stick to the devil you know? 

Party member: How did you end up here? 

Haarlep: Sent by Mephistopheles... distract naughty son. 

He knows himself better than anyone, so why would he bother with anyone else? It’s a bit of a defense mechanism, he’s not willing to be vulnerable or let his guard down (and to be fair, for good reason) so it’d be better for him to stick to what he knows, what he’s comfortable with. I’m just going to throw this out here but he comes across as a total hedgehog dilemma sorta of guy, gives off real Shinji Ikari vibes tbh. (NOT REALLY, He's more Gman than anything but just without the charisma 💅) 

Party member: Did you ever turn into forms besides Raphael's? 

Haarlep: Raphael... loves... only... Raphael. 

Now, this is just supposed to be a Raphael analysis but I find it impossible not to mention Haarlep and their motivations as well, since they are arguably the closest person (Literally) to Raphael. Haarlep comes across as a complete gossip type since they seem to just love to air out Raphael's little secrets, they even say how Raphael can Deny them nothing so either Raphael does trust them to some extent to make them his confidant or well, Haarlep just Wittles it out of him during their sessions. Either way, they hold some closeness to Raphael, yet I find it revealing that they immediately will expose him and actually help you (for a price ofc) and intentionally try to help you kill Raphael. Now whether they believed we could actually kill him or not is up for debate, but after you give them your form they do say that they'll enjoy misusing you and they do tell you what will happen when they use your form, so if they believed you were going to die why bother? 

Haarlep doesn't seem to be the only one as in their letter to you in the epilogue it's revealed that even the devils in Mephistopheles's court seemed to hate Raphael. 

"Since the timely end of Raphael's reign, I've gone back to Mephistopheles' Palace in Cania. Many of his Father's court are celebrating the demise of my little brat - behind closed doors. And I'm making a fortune selling evenings in his form now there is no contract binding me to secrecy. Rather tasteless to desire a dead man like that, even amongst devilkind, isn't it?" 

Haarlep even calls Raphael their little brat, though perhaps it was out of endearment as even Haarlep remarks how low it is to desire a dead man when they use Raphael's form. This could possibly show some sort of remorse towards Raphael's death, but it's pretty unclear, yet that's also to be expected since Haarlep is a full devil and they even state they're a crueler master than Raphael so perhaps that was true as well. It genuinely seems that no one actually cares for Raphael, besides perhaps Korilla, and I mean that's fair in all honestly, considering how he treats most of his employees (Hope too) but it's also funny that the people he wants to impress or become most, the devils, also hate him or want to well.. Have some fun times with his form after he's already dead.  I also think it's interesting that Haarlep refers to Raphael as a dead man rather than a devil, they don't even say 'amongst his own kind', It's interesting because Raphael himself is so adamant on calling himself a Devil rather than cambion or whatever (tbf he's not the only one, Mizora does the same or at least out characters don't care to make the distinction) Yet Haarlep doesn't care to make that distinction. Now, of course, man doesn't necessarily mean a mortal man or whatever, but it's still intriguing to note.

An interesting thing to note about Devil society is that, unlike Demons who usually just outcast or kill their cambions, Devils at least allow Cambions to intergrade into their Hierarchy, but at the same time it's a system that wasn't built for them to succeed in since cambions can't physically be promoted, they aren't guaranteed anything form their work, so everything they have, they've had to work hard for. Unlike those around him, Raphael has had to work extra for his position (though I'm sure his title of Son of Mephistopheles did help somewhat) he seems to have it quite good, and tbh I even initially thought he was his own free agent, and didn’t even have to serve under Zariel (but he does) he just has it really good, or at least better than most cambions from what it seems. At the same time, I find it intriguing that he sparsely even mentions who he is in relation to his father. Through subtle hints throughout that game, it's clear that Raphael actually probably hates his father or is perhaps extremely jealous of him, since at the same time he mirrors him in some aspects.  

I think the Dungeoncast said it best when examining the devil's mindset that I also think apply to Raphael quite well too;

"Their dogma essentially revolves around seeking power over others, always adhering to an eye-for-an-eye principle. They exploit any kindness shown to them and show no compassion for the weak, exhibiting traits of a sociopath. Winning at any cost is their mantra, often cloaked in the guise of promoting personal excellence and independence. When they harm others, they rationalize it as providing motivation to succeed."

Even though his society basically looks down on him, whether he's successful or not, Raphael still believes in their mindset, mostly since that's probably how he's survived and thrived in the Hells. This mantra that the devils have has warped who he is as a person entirely and also his ambitions, he doesn't want any other than control, he sees no point in forming meaningful relationships or other interests, and he only sees domination and power as his goal since that's all his society has told him is important.

Another thing I’ve read about cambions is their sense of entitlement, especially over mortals, and well Raphael certainly fits the bill. Which might contribute to why he wants what he wants. I mean, why does Raphael want to take over the hells? To end the blood war? Sure, almost all devils want to rise the ranks but Raphael’s goals are a lot more lofty than that, and why is that? Is it solely his ego? To be seen as something kin to a god-like Asmodeus, or is it to best and humiliate his father? Perhaps both, or perhaps neither, it’s somewhat unclear, but perhaps he just feels entitled to something greater or maybe he wants out of the rat race that is the Devil's Hierarchy.  

"It's the Fatal flaw of mortal kind take away their free will and they call you a tyrant, allow them to indulge it and they become tyrants" 

 

A final point is since he’s a narcissist, he’s obsessed with his image, yea I know, very obvious. And it’s been mentioned a few times that this is probably why he and Haarlep look so different, it’s either insecurity or wanting to come across as something more mature, why he’d look older than Haarlep when they should be an exact copy. It’s the whole reason he’s been performing, curating this image to us, one that he barely even allows himself to break at home unless he’s enraged. If you look at it for what it is, it’s just insecurity and almost desperation. A desperate desire to be seen as something greater, something akin to his father (daddy issues are making their appearance) and it honestly comes across as erratic, and extreme. 

 

He’s so obsessed with his image that perhaps when Haarlep said they’re a perfect copy of Raphael they didn’t mean as an exact copy, they meant they’re are literally a perfect version of Raphael, a better version (most likely a result of insecurities of how he's perceived). Who can say for sure what the reason is why they look so different if they’re supposed to be mirrors of each other. His whole obsession with is image really matches his father, since Mephistopheles is known to change his appearance and curates it for mortals as well (It's why he's confused with Asmodeus a lot since he just goes for a basic generic devil look). 

One more thing, considering all the characters we meet throughout the game, Raphael is or is one of the oldest characters in-game, seeing as he's possibly 1000+ years old. Considering this, it makes sense that on top of him being a devil anyway, he finds himself detached from mortals as well as his own mortal half. Though he is quite proactive in his contract seeking seeing as he not only seeks us out but characters like Mol and Lyrthindor (Tho that was more towards orchestrating his own goals) Otherwise he can just sit up in his Ivory tower devoid of mortal's strive, I mean he even says multiple times that his house is a safe haven for the tired/sick/restless/etc. On top of him already trying to detach himself from his mortal half, he also has the benefit of being so old that he probably has already become numb to it, to mortal thoughts and feelings. He wouldn't be able to emphasize or understand it (tho him being a devil wouldn't have helped either) all he would understand is how to use their suffering to his own benefit. Any possibility for humanity within Raphael is either so faint it's practically not there or there is none left entirely.  

"Never have I been so attracted to mortals as I am to those infested by the tadpole." 

He even says this himself. Mortals have never had any impact on him, physically or emotionally. Yet in saying that, they've never really been given the chance to. The closest a mortal besides us the player to have ever gotten 'close' to Raphael or have impacted him is Hope. Raphael is not only a complex character but he has so many complex relationships with the few people he lets around him. As I said before Raphael is completely blinded to humanity, he's definitely a person who believes the ends justify the means and that has never been more evident than in what he does with Hope. He doesn't care what It takes just as long as it gets him what he wants, that's why he helps orchestrate the plot to lean in his favor, why he basically tricks Yurgir, and why he has no problem torturing Hope even though she's basically no one to him, she isn't even a debtor.  

Though Raphael is almost completely removed from being anything close to a human being, even after all this time, whether he likes it or not, he still does have some human traits. His interests for one help humanize him (Which tbh he is probably aware of and uses to his advantage) Sure he likes poetry and literature, but he's also just obsessed with everything surrounding Karsus and Hope (or at least the concept) He even names his house The House of Hope and whether he renamed it that after Hope or whether that was it's original name isn't clear but either way he really likes the idea of hope in hell. You can see this throughout his house on the little plaques he has scattered throughout, he definitely wants to be people's last hope or perhaps just hope in general, it would make sense as well since he wants to literally break hope and bend her under his will. 

"Karsus's folly the Bard and Scholars call it. I call it hope, the hope of creating a better world, and The Perils of unchecked hubris"  

(Karsus and Hope are basically his only two special interests that he starts to literally combine them) 

Another very human trait of Raphael’s is that Raphael has a fear of failure. He even has dreams about us destroying everything he's worked for and killing him.  

"There was one among them who spoke for the rest. They gestured to the melting hooks, suddenly glanced my way, and in their face I saw they had the best of me. 

In waking, my courage has firmed. I progress my plans for the tadpoled even now. 

I am Raphael. I am not easily bested." 

Even though he reassures himself that he is Raphael and cannot be easily bested it's clear he's still very desperate. The only variable in his plan that he can't truly control is Us and he definitely knows this. Even other characters like Gale can tell how desperate he is. His facade of Invincibility is one of the tactics he uses against us to keep us in check against him. To be honest, all these things lend to humanizing him far greater than any poetry or quote he could ever spout because it shows his vulnerability, it shows he's not as invincible as he'd like us to believe, that he does have weaknesses and can in fact fail. A very mortal trait to have in all fairness. 

Also on another quick note, he totally has a special interest (obsession) in Karsus, like him seeing Karsus accidentally kill thousands of people in the netherese cities became a core memory for him, one that he’s never let go, even now.  

"The archdevil Mephistopheles snatched up the crown and squirreled it away in one of his vaults. He is not more than a frigid archivist"  

"I want the crown that dominates the Elder brain and then we all Gather in the House of Hope me dressed in my finest silks, you skinless, hanging from a hook to watch as your world dies"  

"you would have been Heroes if you only dealt fairly with me, instead you're not so different to doomed Karsus, overreaching your limits and burning your world to Ash"  

"The screams oh the screams hundreds of thousands of people watching in horror as the ground came up to meet them" 

His ambitions seem to be fueled a lot by his narcissism and this belief that he can achieve all he's set out for and actually do a good job in implementing order, etc. Whether this is a founded belief or not is debatable, since we don't really know what he achieves past supposedly Avernus. 

"Though with the crown, I would impose perfect order, Unity, efficiency, control, my kingdom would control its borders and stay within them" (Sure pal) 

OK, onto the kicker here; Raphael is a very alluring character, he can even come across as flirtatious at times (Also through his body language and I obvs can't demonstrate that here but u get it) Throughout the game he's saying how he'll wine and dine us if we give him what he wants, yet In the ending where we actually give him the crown, I think it's so telling that after all his promises of dining with him and getting to see him again if we deliver it, he literally doesn't follow through at all (There's a debate for this since we don't know if he might've once his plans were done) and this just proves what we were to him; that we were in fact just pawns to him. Even if he does invite us to dine with him, it'll most likely be with a purpose, that he wants something from us or for us to do something for him because otherwise he's gotten all we wanted from us, the facade has been lifted and he doesn't need to try charm or threaten us, he's effectively done with us (literally, since it is an ending). It's all just another aspect of his manipulation and Persona he uses against us (And I mean, It worked) We're all just a means to an end for him. 

ALSO, A little side thing I should note is the silly lil Dark humor Raphael has. Raphael, being a devil and all, definitely has a dark humor. You can defo gather that from his dialogue but also the way he comes up with creative punishments for his debtors. Now some of it is just basic evil shit like the guy who does the Self-flagellation stuff and the one who's forced to act like a dog, but some of it is more than that, like the guy who worships his chamber pot which just so happens to be under the statue of Mephistopheles or the debtor who's forced to dance (which I think is a reference to The Red Shoes story/movie where the character is literally forced to keep dancing) or the chick who just voyeuristically watches what goes down in the boudoir, like yea it's horrible but sometimes it just cartoonishly ridiculous and you can't help but find it somewhat amusing. 

"Hope [Laughter] such a tease" like when he says this, unbeknownst to us, he's referring to the real-life Hope, more of an inside joke to himself really. 

On top of all that - this specific paragraph isn't really poignant to Raphael's character necessarily, it's more of a personal observation but - I think if there were to ever be a romance with Raphael the best option is to not give him the crown (tho I do kinda wanna see him with his lil crown being the prince of hell). It's similar to Gortash, in that if you want to be his equal you shouldn't grovel and just give him the netherese shards, you need to challenge him and show your mettle basically. Now I'm not saying Raphael would be pleased with this, but if you wanted to be an equal, this is the best route, otherwise, there's always going to be that power imbalance like with ascended Astarion. (AKA, kill him, Do It) 

My final point that I wanna make is, that all the characters in Bg3 are designed with a fatal disbelief. Y'know Gale believes if he becomes a god he can prove himself to Mystra, Lae'zeel believes that  Vlaakith is righteous and will allow her to ascend, Shadowheart believes she can find herself/ her purpose in Shar, and Astarion believes he'll finally be safe if he becomes the vampire ascendant, yet we that these believes are all unfounded and end up being untrue wif they achieve them, and the same goes for Raphael. Now, if Raphael achieves his goal of getting the crown, he most likely will still end up not getting what he wants, for two reasons; Asmodeus literally cannot be defeated - Let me explain; So there are a few origins for Asmodeus and to most popularized one (and the one I prefer) is the one where he and some of the other archdevils were actually previously angels that got corrupted while fighting demons. 

Yet, in earlier editions, it's stated that all of that is just speculation and mythos surrounding Asmodeus and his real origin is that he is literally a cosmic force that was there at the beginning of time. OK. Now personally I don't care for this origin but either way, whichever one you believe I think my next point still stands the same. Whether Asmodeus is just a being that has achieved something as close to godhood as he can or a literal cosmic force of lawful evil, Raphael probably would still be unable to defeat him even with the Crown and scepter and any other of Karsus's little items, he most likely if anything could only get to the eighth layer. Now in saying this, this is still not his disbelief, because his personal belief is also one that all devils share, which is a complete lie, that being the entire hierarchy they abide by. Every devil abides by this meritocracy hierarchy, and the belief that if they become more powerful, and ascend - that they can reach Asmodeus status, but this is a complete an utter lie. Asmodeus keeps this facade that he could be defeated, but in truth, he's kinda way too powerful for any of the devils in hell, and he knows this and uses it as a tactic to keep them in his control.  

Now Raphael to some extent knows that he has to basically cheat to be even able to ascend, since he's a cambion and the hells system wasn't exactly designed for him to be promoted. Yet even if he manages to conquer every layer up to Cania, he's still going to lose since he's basically destroying the hierarchy and therefore he won't have control over the devils beneath him. Now the crown can be used to literally dominate people but that's not what Raphael necessarily wants - He wants to be adored and willingly followed, and of course, he'll use the crown when he has to, but to wholly subjugate everyone in hell to mindlessly obey doesn't seem to be his goal. There are more practical reasons as well why there are certain devils that have control over the layers, and Raphael, no matter what power he can possess, is still just one individual, and inevitably it seems as though there would be a lot of chaos rather the perfect order he believes he can achieve. 

I know that the crown can basically make you a god, and if Asmodeus has powers akin to a god and Raphael can theoretically do the same, then why can't he just defeat Asmodeus? well, it goes into Raphael's fatal flaw, his arrogance. If we look at Gale, for example, he made himself a literal god and still wasn't powerful enough to defeat Mystra, and yes, Raphael 'Is no mortal' but this is what I mean, he believes is above Karsus and Gale, that he'll succeed where they failed but that's just not the case. Like I've said before, Raphael desperately wants to be seen as more, his ego won't let him accept anything less but that still doesn't change the fact that he is fallible, and we don't have to look any further than when we managed to defeat him. Now in saying all this, this is all theoretical and kind of bleeds more into an opinion, since we don't know what plays out after he gets Avernus, perhaps the other archdevils managed to kill him before he achieved anything, or perhaps he really did manage to conquer Baator and the other realms, Who knows. (I might be cooked for saying this, especially since I do wanna see him be a lil prince of hell, but arguably giving him the crown, besides being our bad ending, is also his bad ending - No further explanation) 

Like I know I said, this is what I’ve boggled it down to and well, it’s not very boggled, but that’s what I mean! There’s so much going on with this little guy, it’s almost hard to keep up with, you gotta write him as suave and mysterious but also somewhat threatening and intimidating, he has to be articulate and persuasive as well as theatrical, while also keeping in mind his manipulative and narcissistic/egotistical tendencies, which doesn’t come easy to write for. 

This isn’t a slight by any means either, he’s a complicated character and that’s why I like him, but my sorry ass struggles to replicate it 🥲 though I hope this post will be a good reference to circle back to when writing for him. 

[pierswife]

Here she iiiiiiis the funky little mechanic who takes shit from no one :) More info about her under the cut!

Full Name: Amanda Adams, approximate age is 23, she/her pronouns (okay with she/they)

A mechanic by trade and was trained by her father. Currently works as the lead mechanic in his shop

Dabbles in prosthetic building, repair, and restoration (especially since her father has a prosthetic leg). Tends to do this for free for practice and because she genuinely likes helping people

Very strong in her beliefs and moral code, does not tolerate those who take advantage of others

Charges repairs on a sliding scale (figures out how much someone can afford and is very known for cutting customers a break)

... Except if you're an asshole. Then it's full price. Don't try and intimidate her into a discount either, then she'll increase

Her hands and arms are littered with small cuts and bruises constantly because of her work and she has a decent amount of scars from work as well

Unless she's working, she does have a bad habit of covering her arms and hands as much as possible because while she isn't ashamed of her scars and cuts (she thinks of them as proof of her hard work), she does find them a little embarrassing to show out in public

She's also got a few scars from getting caught up in a few gunfights (as a bystander)

Ridiculously high pain tolerance and it actually takes a decent bit to make her actually cry out in pain

While she holds her head high with confidence and can put on a brave face, it actually can take a lot for her to stand up to someone while being threatened and not look afraid

Has stomped on a socket wrench to loosen the bolts on tires before and will do it again (she's kinda small compared to other mechanics so she's gotta compensate)

Very often uses the "I am wearing steel-toed boots" threat

When she realizes she may feel for someone romantically, she flusters very easily. Otherwise, she finds people flirting with her extremely annoying and will find the quickest out that she can

I'm playing around with the idea that her parents wanted her to become a plant engineer or technician since she is ridiculously smart, but she decides to stay home and learn her father's trade instead so she could stay around to take care of him

Obligatory yes she knows how to shoot a gun fhdjsfgvs

Her dog tags belong to a family member that she never met, but were passed down to her by her father. She adds a second dog tag with her information on it since she does have to travel occasionally to get parts

Thinks Vash is a fucking idiot loser (affectionate)

[dragon-communion]

Since you’re trying to compile stuff, just in case you hadn’t stumbled across it, there’s cut content for Trina involving Dreamwine&Dream-mist on top of her relation to the Merchants (Kale’s first cut quest, before the complete but cut 2nd quest). Malenia also has cut content involving what appears to be Milicent’s quest ending VERY differently, which ties into the cut content about the twins and the Age of Abundance ending that got killed. (Added in Malenia since she IS sleeping until PC manages to wake her, and it should be very odd that PC can despite the presumed efforts of the Haligtree forces to wake her up after Finlay did her Epic Saga to get her back there.)

I am aware of them! I haven't looked at Millicent's questline in as much detail, but the merchants and their dream wine have been pretty crucial to a few conclusions I've drawn about Trina's actions and potential conflicts in the Lands Between, as well as what her priesthood might look like.

It's notable to me that of the three factions Trina seems associated with: the albinaurics (arrows, quest locations), the merchants (cut quest, selling her items), and the Cleanrot Knights (decent enemies for farming her lilies, implying they habitually carry her sacred flower), two of those factions are involved with the Flame of Frenzy. One of the most beneficial Frenzy items you can get in the game, the Black Dumpling, comes from farming albinaurics. There's a possibility that even if we discount the cut content entirely, Trina is still textually invested in combating the Flame of Frenzy.

Which is fascinating, since the only other entity I can think of (beyond the Golden Order) that speaks about opposing Frenzy is Melina herself. People seem to know what Frenzy is, I think, but for such a universal cosmic threat you would expect the other Outer Gods to be just as invested. And there's nothing. The Golden Order locked the merchants away, sure, which is a type of acknowledgement- but Rykard/Eiglay has frenzied albinaurics directly under his nose, and seems ambivalent at best about it. As an inquisitor there's an argument to be made for him perhaps encouraging Frenzy.

Trina seems like a relatively passive figure who then becomes a mere icon of faith in a similar manner to the burned Erdtree after her disappearance, so any indication of motivation or desire on her part is fascinating to me. People certainly love her, and the idea of a cute girl in your dreams promising Ultimate Comfort sounds like the start of a fairly successful religion, but part of me has to wonder if she was at all personally invested in having a following.

Miquella was, he actively wanted to build a paradise and fill it with people, promising them salvation, but I think Trina's following might have been more incidental and based around acts of simple kindness. She promises no salvation, only rest, and that's so utterly alien to the people she encounters that they swear life and loyalty to her forever. She's very much a martyr figure in that way, I think.

I got wildly distracted here but yeah. I am going full archaeologist here. And the SECOND I get into the DLC and discover her items there myself, I'm doing a full breakdown on everything I can find.

[hospitalterrorizer]

diary299

7/14/24

sunday

uneventful day.

i forgot to talk about yesterday's wayy psycho news about trump getting shot at! immediately exhausted by all the conspiracist shit i am seeing crop up on either side while we know very little about this, i can't say anything for certain but to so quickly discount that anyone would do this of their own volition is ridiculous and super irritating. on the other hand seeing people say it's not fishy because there were casualties is equally strange, to see people be like, so eager to know what this was, you know. like this is not something any of us will really possess as any kind of knowledge, probably not even the people at the top. it's a nightmare, is all really. him living too, is part of that. part of what saved his life is a racist rant to say something about immigration, i think, i heard, i guess this is only supposed. but it's an insane detail. and then that fucking photo that got taken, his ability to make it a pose immediately. it is too much, it is too pregnant, i guess this is why people are eager to say it was all designed. but looking at the events, if this was a plant to make trump look good, the shooter could have done less damage to trump, taken wider shots, anything like that, or shoot him somewhere less dangerous than the head. if it's otherwise, i imagine they would not have missed. seeing people say they want to read dave mcgowan because of this drives me cuhrayzyyy.

obviously, noah dillon of the hellp is calling this "the most iconic political event since 9/11",

i suppose in some sense it is, or something. it's certainly disturbing to me that the image produced, of trump fist pumping, feels like the most "virile" fantasy of america instantiated, it's the fascistic dream actualized, it has become bodily, and to take the photo at all, to not run, to take the photo of trump doing that, to frame it as well as you can, you know, to do that is demented, the total lack of self preservation to do that, it is hideously american, super-careerist fantasy.

anyway, there's i guess a lot you can say about this, it feels like it's secured his win. it also makes me wonder if things will get worse for people who aren't the norm, or if truly nothing will happen. the right is on the rise but this country, it is hard to have any centralized action beyond just electoral shit, i think, maybe i hope, ignorantly. i guess it is ignorant, racists have always been able to accomplish more than seems imaginable, more diffuse now, the intolerant really have easier ways to communicate, keep their kids in homeschooling, creating a whole separate ecosystem, if those drives turn dominant, what becomes of all others, i guess.

but i know some people really think nothing's gonna happen.

it just all feels rather, whatever you do to look at it, dour, stupid, i dunno, nothing good will happen but the best i can hope for is a total 0. i know some people think the shooter was a lib, or like "leftist" since those are the same to some, or one woman really, it's kind of crazy to say that when he's registered otherwise after donating once when he was 17 because the dems are talking about putting trump in the "bullseye" at other times and talking up him being a threat to democracy.

anyway. ... like... #whateverrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr.

so what else.

today i recorded vocals for one song!! tomorrow i'm gonna try another, and gonna try write lyrics for something else. i also reinstalled some stuff but idk if it really helped out. very frustrated by that, but what can i do, idk. it's a weird issue, it's like utterly new to me at this point, i do not have any idea other than maybe a windows update fucking something up? but idk what that'd do really. to be honest. maybe i need to reinstall waves? that's such a fricking pain though. it does make music harder to wanna do. maybe a good thing, so i can focus on other stuff? maybe, to be honest.

anyway, beyond the vocals, i also did write a couple other little things, one thing's set for drums, one thing i'm in process w/ drums, 2nd one is gonna be like a fucked up no wavey emo-violence thing i think. other one's gonna be like a weirdo synthy thing, i really love the chiptune melody on it, and the bass, and then i found a place for the stylophone vst i got! so that rawks. i also got an old song re-done, for this next ep, so i wanna get lyrics done for that.

i think tomorrow i should also try to basically split this one old track in half because i think basically i wrote 2 songs and they deserve to be their own things, one half's like the kinda crazy no wave pv-y emoviolence-y thing, and then the other's like a screwed up... idk, it's a crazy riff though i love that one, it's got legs enough to be a kind of simple song riding off that rhythm / riff. somehow very catchy despite being wayy dissonant. some of these feel very music video ready, which is also fun for me to think abt.

going back in to mess with the drums in one song, i was met with no crashes, it was fine... i did switch the rendering on some plugins to no open gl ui. that seems to add some stability. crazy issue to have though.

also i got some writing done, something else tiny, like a little horror-ish thing almost. it's fun to write stories that do not really have much scope, properly short, a good way to keep in practice. although i think this is too, to be honest. this stretches my voice in ways i'm not used to, i think it's making me a little more expressive in text, which makes me feel #cute. i hope to use that in some way as i write, a new poetics to explore.

anyway, it's about time to go to bed so:

byebye!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[sdyuteiaok]

Drafted MH3, and had a pretty poor showing. The deck really didn't have much juice, but I feel like I could have scrapped together at least one or two more wins, but we could only manage two. I also had a couple poor picks as I was reading cards and evaluating on the fly--I should have had a second copy of the -3/-3, +1 counter trick, and I could have bolstered my lands with the UG land to both help my splash, and have a monster on the top end. I was BG mainly, but had the target-twice legendary bird as my U splash. So that dual land would have been a welcomed addition, but I discounted it because I shortcutted it as purely a U card, but I coulda cast the G side. One game felt like it was in reach, but I just couldn't get anything to push the issue when he had a big flying blocker, and with 6 cards left, he cast the Gremlins card with 14 energy so, even though I could trade on most things, he had enough Spawn to close it out after some early pressure had diminished my life enough to make the swing worthwhile. But I was bleeding the guy out with my deathtouch Kamigawa guy, and then eventually plinking away with my deathtouch snake from my Ophidiomancer, which I could sac to my vehicle, even. But I just needed to draw some removal or something to break through in the air, or my hydra to make my flying threats serious damage. I had him in just a couple turns. Man, if I had drawn my bestow Hydra, I bet that woulda made the difference because it gives trample, crucially, and I had a ton of mana to work with. I wonder if I shoulda been attacking more liberally since I had my Brushwagg giving most of my guys trample, so either he'd have to trade down his creature count, making the eventual Gremlin card considerably less relevant, and otherwise, he'd be taking a lot of pain every turn, restricting his moves. And then if I'd drawn my UG bird earlier, I coulda have started going off with targeting stuff, but I drew it so late I didn't get a chance to pop off with it. Pretty frustrating. I am almost positive I could have scratched that one out, but who knows. So, looking at the gem totals, I can get both passes, so maybe I should just get the MH3 one so I can start recuperating gold for the next draft, and then in the meantime, I'll be able to buy the draft token with tickets. Or maybe I should just ignore it for now, since there's still a lot of days left on the pass, and just use gems for a draft. But I currently have only about 520 gems disposable, meaning I can't afford both passes and a draft, I'm about 1k short...surely I can get that back, though...hmm.

[psychomoxxie]

Monsters

Two nights ago, Joe's daughter, "K", threatened to kill me.

Specifically, she threatened to stab me, then to "slice me up" with a knife, the next day. I ended up having to call the police when she did it the third time that morning -- you know what they say -- third time's the charm and all that. In case you're wondering, she has attacked people physically before, and is absolutely capable of violence. She is both a drug addict, and a psychotic. So yes, I am very concerned.

I sat, shaking and crying, in the kitchen, knives gathered on the table beside me, Calvin my Maine Coon sitting on them protectively, as Max, Joe's son, stood guard between her and I as we waited for the cops. At that point, she pretended to be sleeping in the living room, as he let them in to question her and me.

I've no illusions, and as expected, I got no protection from them as she hadn't actually physically attacked me -- but she has a record, and I don't, and she also physically outweighs me by about 40 lbs, and is several inches taller than me. The cops believed me, and discounted her story that I was "just trying to get her kicked out".

I learned that there IS recourse for Joe to get her evicted, if he so chooses, since she's essentially a squatter (ironically what she screams accusingly at me, funny she accuses me of being all the things she actually is). The female police officer was much more helpful (go figure), and took my report, filed an assault charge, but since she receives mail here, they couldn't remove her, and Joe doesn't have the heart to to forward with the eviction steps, so I have decided I need to leave.

My heart is breaking, because it means, for now, leaving my cats behind in Max's care. I was crying my eyes out as I explained to them my plan to go and stay with friends until I could figure something else out -- since she's been threatening me with physical violence, this is considered a domestic violence situation and I can seek help through those channels, for the second time in my life.

I'm waiting to hear from the friends who offered me a room to stay while I figure things out (they can't have my cats, because theirs is very territorial, which is making me cry as I write this, but I understand); I think the best plan is to seek assistance from every social service agency I can in regards to housing, disability for my health, etc.

Meanwhile, I can come see my kitties because I will only be two blocks away, and at least while K is out getting high or whatever it is she does, I can spend time with them when I'm not too sick.

It's impossible to describe the sick feeling in my stomach I have at the thought of leaving them behind -- I love them so much, they are my babies, they are what keep me going. But how do I stay in a place where my life is being threatened by an unstable, psychotic drug addict? I am so miserable, so torn, so anxious right now. I have no alternatives that are reasonable due to my health, and I feel like a failure.

Currently, I think the cops spooked K enough where she's just yelling about me to Joe, but no longer bursting into my room to threaten me, so as stressful as that is, at least she's no longer in my face for the time being.

I can only hope Joe will eventually get to the point where he will take the steps to evict her, for his own sake, because what she is doing to him is elder abuse. The screaming, the throwing plates of food and destroying things, the name calling, the threats, all of it.

I don't know if my friends will follow through on the offer, it's clearly a lot to offer a person, to open their home to someone in my situation; if they feel they can't, I will likely call a domestic violence shelter for the interim. Because I know this won't be the end of things with K. She's unstable, clearly hates me, blaming me for her situation out of some sort of misguided jealousy. But I'm not safe here.

I can't believe I will have to leave my cats behind. Max has reassured me that he will take care of them, make sure they are OK. My health today and pain levels are of course miserable, and I am in bed, just staying out of K's way, hoping she just leaves the apartment soon. I am too weak to do so myself at the moment, but I am feeling extremely depressed. This situation is untenable. I don't want to leave my babies. Especially not here. But I hope that with me gone, she will at least calm down, and once I'm not actually living here, just visiting until I can take them back, she won't feel so violently towards me.

I really don't know what else to do.

[dritabd]

Rate my fantasy football team

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Liverpool’s fixtures on the other hand are fairly easy and therefore Jota’s high ceiling, as things stand, just seem too good to avoid for me. I really like Mahrez but you can never trust Pep who might bench him for the easier fixtures. The recent Robertson injury makes me contemplate a switch from Dias and Jota to Tsimikas and Mahrez.

Rate my fantasy football team plus#

Ings might change to another 6.5-7.5 attacker since he just joined Villa and might take some time to settle, but his finishing ability plus Villa’s opening fixtures are difficult to ignore. I rate him highly as a fantasy asset as he constitutes the focal point of West Ham’s attack. ForwardsĪntonio is also in my squad from start and won’t be going anywhere. I would choose another player for that spot but I cant find any better replacement in that price point as things stand. Raphina is a joy to watch but underperforms his Xg regularly (last year he has at least). Considering he started and delivered in recent friendlies and the fact that Firmino has joined the squad only recently, my guess is that Jota’s spot is secured for the first 2 GWs at least. Only question is whether he starts regularly. Jota is a player I really like as he can offer a premium player’s output for a discounted price. Although it is a bit tempting to downgrade Bruno to Son and use the money elsewhere. Salah and Bruno Fernandes don’t require much explanations. If West Ham manages to keep a few clean sheets early on he should be a steal at this price. Stones should present even better value but his spot in the opening lineup is also less secured.Ĭoufal showed in the end of last season he offers a great deal of attacking threat. I think they are the best value for money defenders in the game currently.ĭias is another player who I think might be 0.5 underpriced. DefenceĪlexander Arnold and Shaw have never left my squad. The PL is a different story but I hope that the save points would compensate for the loss of clean sheets and boost the haul potential. Watford have good opening fixtures and kept the most clean sheets in the championship last season. I am also sceptical of Brighton’s defence strength. I like 4.5 million goalkeepers with high save points and bonus potential and I don’t see any such from the Twitter sweetheart Sanchez. I like its flexibility and thinks it’s a good starting point before we have enough info to determine this season’s “optimal formation”. Here is how my latest draft looks like: Structure

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The last few days however, were full of tinkering. This year I decided to not prepare any draft until the last week before the season opens, and just absorb as much info as possible. This is Stephens first draft for the site Alon ShamirĪlon’s last 5 seasons overall ranks are 44k, 1k, 123k, 4k and 2k Stephens last 5 seasons ORs were 22k, 86k, 43k, 52k & 64k No Commitment beyond 1 Calender month although 16% discounted annual membership available *The FFGeek team including live transfers and the early thoughts article will this season be on the Patreon site last 5 seasons ORs 17k, 17k, 36k, 17k & 21k *access to Joseph Crilleys transfer planner and points projection tool * access to the FFGeek Contributor tracker team incl live transfers (OR 8k 20/21) £2.50 plus Vat per Calender month (plus the above) * Weekly podcasts with myself and the FFGeek Contributors Between them they have 15 top 1% finishes in the competitive last 5 seasons.īest Fantasy Football Team – 4 FFGeek Contributors Latest Draft TeamsĪdditional content on the FFGeek Patreon site There’s Stephen Troop, Costas Chari, Sergio Torija and new FFGeek Contributor Alon Shamir who has finished in the top 10k overall rank 3 of the last 5 seasons.

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Here’s our best fantasy football team article where 4 FFGeek Contributors update their FPL teams after the weekend’s preseason games. Share on Twitter Share on Facebook Share on Reddit

[twstunes]

A recurring concept in self-aware AUs is that the player (or their MC) possesses some form of ‘divine grace’—by interacting with and upgrading characters, the player imparts a sense of happiness, power, and so on to them. This is often used as a setup for yan stuff and similar darker works centered around obsession, typically with the characters becoming increasingly dependent on the emotional high caused by contact with the player/MC.

But what if the existence of divine grace was not so readily accepted?

Fandom: Twisted Wonderland

Characters: Rook, Azul, Leona, Lilia, Idia

Notes: gn Yuu, early stages of self-awareness, mostly platonic

Warnings: character-appropriate levels of stalking (Rook, Idia)

‎

✧ Very little escapes Rook’s notice, and the strikingly positive effect Yuu has on others is no exception. Like any good hunter, he spends some time stalking familiarizing himself with the Ramshackle prefect before making any final calls. He manages to work out a number of things about Yuu’s ‘grace’: only certain students (named characters) are affected, staff members don’t seem to be affected much at all, the effect is strongest on those physically near Yuu and with Yuu’s direct attention…comment trés étrange. This is certainly unfamiliar quarry for him. How exciting!

✧ He may or may not report his findings to Vil. He does care dearly for his housewarden, but considering how happy Vil has been since Yuu entered their lives…well, la grâce divine de Yuu does not seem to be a threat. Surely it wouldn’t hurt to let a sleeping dog lie, for now.

✧ It’s worth noting that despite his stalking observing, Rook doesn’t shy away from approaching his target directly. He can only appreciate Yuu’s beauté so much from a distance, after all—and of course it must be some form of beauty, for what else could evoke such emotion from the hearts of many? He may outright ask Yuu about this ‘grace’ they seem to possess, though the questions are phrased so poetically that they’re a bit hard to parse.

✧ Yuu’s euphoric effect on others is something Azul notices quickly, specifically due to how some rather high-profile students seem to gravitate towards the Ramshackle prefect. His first thought is, naturally, if it can be used to lure in more customers to the Mostro Lounge. He could rope Yuu into working some shifts, prompting their little entourage to follow along, score some customers and some free publicity at once…wait shit why does he feel so high-spirited when they’re near, why does he keep tripping over his words when they speak to him, this wasn’t supposed to happen– Jade Floyd stop snickering this is serious, no he does not have a CRUSH–

✧ Azul likes to think that he’s savvy, and he really is—but he’s also very much not equipped to handle this. The effect of Yuu’s presence is warming, empowering even, and given freely at that. It absolutely does not fit into Azul’s worldview, where anything given comes with a price attached one way or another. What does Yuu want in return for this…niceness, for lack of a better word? What are they angling for? It deeply disturbs him that he can’t divine an answer.

✧ Yuu’s grace is a gift that keeps giving, and Azul is convinced that there will be a steep price to pay for it in the end. He makes attempts at tempering it, offering discounts and the like, but it’s hard to focus on digging himself out of a perceived debt when being near Yuu keeps making him forget about it altogether.

✧ Leona has spent long enough mired in depression that the effects of Yuu’s divine grace just feel weird at first. He knows Yuu doesn’t have any magic up their sleeves—they still smell like the same magicless herbivore they were that day they stepped on his tail. So then why does he feel so much…lighter when they’re around? Less blasé about everything? Something’s off, and he’s not entirely sure he’s okay with it.

✧ He definitely has an “am i in love??” moment before shutting it down entirely. Screw Farena and how he gushes about his wife the queen; Leona might privately admit to believing in the existence of love, but he does NOT buy into any “love at first sight” junk. Besides, his senses are sharp enough that he can tell how others are similarly affected by Yuu’s presence. It’s a little complicated, how he feels about that—the irrational, possessive part of his brain is annoyed at having to “share,” but he’s overall glad that it’s an easily-observable phenomenon.

✧ After mulling it over for a while, he ultimately concludes that it isn’t a serious enough issue for him to bother stressing about. It doesn’t look like the herbivore consciously controls…whatever it is they’re doing, and their conscious actions come off as genuine attempts to help out. He might still be a little wary, but by the Seven, it’s not going to interfere with his naps.

✧ With how long Lilia has been alive, he’s definitely gone through his fair share of heart-pounding experiences—love, infatuation, adrenaline rushes, illicit substances, the whole nine yards. None of them are quite the same as whatever effect Yuu has on him, however, and it piques his interest.

✧ He’s a little concerned about how Yuu is imparting such an effect without so much as a hint of magic, but for the most part, he’s content to just let things be. Yuu doesn’t seem to want anything other than to bring out the best in others, which is hardly an ignoble goal. He might question Yuu about this ‘grace’ they seem to possess, but it serves more to sate his own curiosity than anything else. He just wants to know a little more about his new human friend, that’s all~

✧ Though he’s not one to deny himself novelties or pleasures, he’s no fool. His role as Malleus’ overseer takes priority. If he notices that Yuu’s presence is becoming literally addictive to him, he’ll start taking precautions as needed, distancing himself from Yuu. He’ll bring it up with Malleus immediately, especially if he suspects the other fae is being affected in a similar manner.

✧ Surprisingly—or perhaps unsurprisingly?—Idia is one of the least receptive to Yuu’s ‘divine grace.’ Though he can admit that he doesn’t dislike hanging around Yuu, a potent mix of paranoia and pessimism keeps him shying away. Like Leona, he’s not exactly in great emotional health, so suddenly feeling giddy and relaxed instead of gloomy and anxious throws him for a loop. He also has a mild case of ‘little hater behavior,’ being quick to find fault in anything not immediately pertinent to his interests or useful to him. Yuu qualifies as both in the beginning; even after they get acquainted, Idia’s at a loss for how he’s supposed to react to the effects of their grace. It’d be easier for him if they would just leave him alone, at least then he wouldn’t be stuck not knowing what to do…

✧ He doesn’t actually realize that Yuu’s presence has the same effect on others until he starts noticing irregularities in Ortho’s functions. The lil guy is already designed for optimum processing and performance speeds, but being around Yuu somehow makes things run…even more optimally? Ortho what’s with these energy readouts, how do you have an extra 12% charge? With all you’ve done today, you should be at 46% power maximum…what do you mean being around Yuu makes you happy? That shouldn’t affect your charge levels so greatly??

✧ Idia’s probably the most vigilant about observing how Yuu’s presence affects others once he notices, if only bc he has access to both the school’s security system and any scans Ortho runs. He’d written it off as normie behavior before, but…huh. People are acting weird around Yuu. If it winds up being something bad, it’ll be annoying to get caught off-guard by it. He’ll have to keep monitoring things, just in case…

[ijustwant2write]

Reconnect-Finn Shelby x Reader

(GIF credit to @peakystitches​)

Masterlist

Tags: @captivatedbycillianmurphy​ @jenepleurepasbaby​ @amirahiddleston​ @bloodorangemoonlight @haphazardhufflepuff​ @mzcrazy2​

Requested by anonymous: ‘Hello! May i request an either tommy or finn shelby x reader? (Whicheverr one u think suits best) for this prompt i found: character A and B have been in a longterm relationship and nothing can get in between, until one day something does and they drift away. But then they reconnect emotionally and everything feels like the first time again (first kiss, first meal together etc) 🙏🏼💜 i love ur writing thank u’

Characters: Finn Shelby x Reader, Polly Gray x Reader (platonic)

Meanings: (Y/N)=Your name

Warnings: Swearing, arguing, finance issues, drinking, fluff

                                    *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

"Finn, is that you?" I called out from our bedroom as I heard the front door open. I tensed up when I didn't hear a reply, only to let out a sigh when I heard him giggling.

He was drunk again, it happened almost every week now. Tommy would have given him something important to do for the gang, and whether or not Finn succeeded with that task, he would go out and celebrate with his mates. I would sometimes tag along if I wasn't tired from the week of working, but after seeing our finances, I realised we needed to stop acting like teenagers and start saving wisely.

"Hello my gorgeous girl." he slurred out as he entered the room.

"Hello Finn." I replied as I received a sloppy kiss to my forehead.

He flopped down beside me in bed, taking the book out of my hands and throwing it to the floor. Finn wrapped his arms around me, snuggling into my lap. I took off his hat, stroking back his hair. He was cold from the brisk walk home, causing me to shiver.

“You should have come out tonight." he said.

"I got off work late."

"He kept you again?"

"No, I decided to stay."

"Why? You always say you're tired."

"I'm tired because I'm picking up extra shifts and hours so that we can start saving up for a house."

"I've told you, we don't need to worry about that. Business is good."

"Finn, we're not going to be given the money. We have to earn it."

"Tommy will help us."

"He might help but he won't give us a lot. And even if he did hand us a house, we've got to have enough money for the bills, furniture-"

"It will be fine."

"Finn, we've not even had our wedding yet!"

We had been engaged for half a year. We were wanting to be married sooner, but problems arose with the Peaky Blinders it distracted us both from it, especially since our lives were in danger. I desperately wanted to have enough money for the wedding and house, though it looked like it was going to be one or the other at this point.

"What's wrong with the flat?" Finn now sat up.

"Did you seriously ask me that question? There's only so much I can do to this dump to make it look somewhat liveable. It just doesn't feel like home."

"We'll get the money. Don't worry. Look, look," he took my hands in his,"we will get a house. I promise. And believe me, I want to marry you as soon as I can, there needs to be another ring on that finger. And I need to see my name at the end of yours."

I stupidly believed him. Those adoring eyes I once trusted had lied to me. Finn kept his promise for a week at max, soon breaking it. I didn't mind him going out with friends, we both needed to socialise, I just disagreed with the amount of times he was out and the amount of drinks he was buying each night. He would always offer to get the next round, and although he was a Shelby, the discounts didn't make much difference at the end of the night. I decided I had to go with him to ensure that our money wasn't being poured away, struggling to stay awake for those long nights, and making work even harder every day. It was impossible to keep an eye on him like that.

Usually Finn would tell me if he was going out that night so I wouldn't worry. That stopped too. My mind was never at ease. How did I know he wasn't lying in a ditch somewhere after a job gone wrong? Or what if he was trapped somewhere by a rival gang? I could only rest when he returned, which he always luckily did. I pretended to be asleep, trying to not push him away as he slipped his arms around me, cuddling me for the rest of the night. My patience began to grow thin. I was too scared to speak up about it, worried that we would just end up having an argument. However, I knew we would have to bring it up soon, because our money was only disappearing instead of increasing.

One morning when I was leaving for work, I noticed that the drawer we locked our savings away in was slightly ajar, meaning someone had unlocked it and stupidly left it open. Of course it had to be Finn, no one had broken in during the night. My eyes widened when I saw how much he had taken, enraged that he would think me so foolish. Why would he take the money without asking? What was he using it for?

As I stormed towards the shop, I heard whooping from men in a car further up the street. My face turned into a deep frown when I recognised the car, managing to catch a glimpse of the people in it. They hadn't seen me, and I had to make sure my eyes were deceiving me.

I didn't care about the looks on me as I burst through into the shop, making a beeline for Polly's office. I harshly knocked on the door, entering when she called me.

"(Y/N)? What's wrong?" she asked, a lit cigarette in hand.

"Where's Finn?"

"Off out with his brothers, why?"

"Where are they going?"

"To the races."

I scoffed, placing a hand on my head in defeat.

"Why? What's wrong with that?"

"He told me he would be in the office all day today."

"So? Things change."

"No, he specifically told me that. I never even asked about it. He made a point meaning he didn't want to risk me waltzing in. That means he's hiding something."

"(Y/N), they're only going to bet on horses today. They're mingling."

"They're betting today?!"

She stood, putting a hand on her hip."What am I missing here?"

"Pol, he's using money that we don't have! I need a car, I need to get to him."

"Look, even if my nephew is being the biggest idiot, it's a bad idea to go there."

"Why?"

Her eyes widened."Don't snap at me young lady."

"I'm sorry, I just, I just know he's going to be stupid with what little money we have at the minute."

Polly was silent for a few seconds, and I didn't know if she was just staring me out, trying to make me leave. Perhaps she didn't think it was anything to worry over. But it was to me. She surprised me when she went into one of her drawers, pulling out a set of keys.

"Come on. I'll get one of the girls to call your work, say you're sick."

I tightly clasped my hands together as Polly drove. I was furious, trying to think of what to say to Finn when I got there. He stole our money. He went behind my back, gambling away the money we worked hard to earn. I had never said it, but Finn had it much easier than I did. For one, he worked with family, and although I liked my job, the boss could sometimes be an arsehole; second, he earned a lot more than me, so he was the bigger breadwinner between us, but I worked longer hours. Yes, he was in a gang meaning he had more days where his life was under threat, but he seemed to be having a jolly good time anyway. Really, it wouldn't have mattered who worked longer or harder, or who earned more, it was still our money to spend on our house.

As soon as Polly parked up, I was straight out of the car. She quickly followed grabbing my arm and warning me to not get lost in the crowds. I couldn't make a scene, especially since there could be potential business partners or enemies about. I refrained from rolling my eyes, knowing she was right but also knowing that I would find it extremely hard to not scream at Finn.

Polly guided me to where the men would be, ignoring the shoving and shouting. I wished for her to walk quicker. We swiftly entered the posher boxes, almost stopped by a doorman until his accomplice shut him up. I even heard him whisper 'That's Polly Gray you idiot.', the one time I was glad we had a reputation. She only paused to scan the room for the boys but I spotted them first. Quickly moving past her, I couldn't stop my fists from clenching, seeing Finn joyfully drinking and laughing with his brothers only added fire to my fury.

"Finn!" I snapped, quickly catching his attention.

"(Y/N)?" he exclaimed, struggling to stand and clattering the plates and glasses on the table."W-what are you doing here?"

"Stopping you from spending our money like a fucking idiot! Where is it?"

"Oh, Finn boy is in the doghouse." John chuckled.

"Shut up!" I fiercely pointed at him.

"Where's what?" Finn brought me back.

"Our money!"

"I told you, you do this outside." Polly warned, shoving Finn in that direction, and I knew I had to follow him.

Luckily, we were left alone. Finn continued on, finding someplace we would be alone. Once we were in the clear, the distant roar of the crowds covering our conversation, I saw him sigh quietly, running a hand down his face when he realised what was coming.

"Where's the money Finn?" I asked, calmer but with a mean tone.

"Let me explain first.”

"Explain how you took our money without asking? How you just waltzed out this morning without consulting me?"

"Tommy said that there was a good chance, a very good chance that this horse would win, and I thought it would help us if we put our money on it. Imagine how much we'll have if it wins!"

"If it wins Finn, if! You're gambling our money, why would you do something like that?"

"Because you went on about not having enough money! And here I am trying to help!"

My mouth dropped open in shock."You really don’t see the problem here."

"No, actually, I don't." he crossed his arms over his chest.

"Finn, you stole money from the drawer! You then go behind my back and bet it away. Have you thought about what we'll do if that horse loses?"

"But it won't, Tommy said."

"And what if Tommy is wrong this time? Also, don't pin this on your brother, I know he hasn't even suggested this idea."

"I'm not-urgh!" Finn groaned."Why don't you trust me?"

"I can't trust a gamble Finn. I don't think you realise how many nights I've spent lying awake, worried that we'll never have enough for our own home, and thinking that you don't even care anymore."

"Of course I care. This is why I've bet the money."

"How is this not getting in your head?"

"(Y/N)," he took my hands in his, but I couldn't even look at him,"in a few minutes we will hear them announce the winner, and we will start jumping for joy when we realise how much money we're going to get back, and we're going to be so much closer to getting our home."

"Finn, I desperately want to believe that. But even if we do win, you're in deep trouble." I took my hands away from him, turning around. I couldn't even look at my own fiance.

On queue, we heard a man come over the intercom, it was muffled to me but I knew Finn was listening intensely. Glancing over my shoulder, I watched for his reaction, turning around fully when I saw his expression. We had lost. We lost all that money.

"How could you be so fucking stupid?!" I screamed at him, throwing slaps onto his chest."Why couldn't you just listen to me? I don't understand why you had to lie to me Finn!"

I broke down crying, shoving him away from me. My sobs were loud but I didn't care. Finn could watch, see how much he upset me. My heart sank at the thought of it all gone, Finn had left scarcely any money in the drawer back at the flat.

"I'm sorry (Y/N)." Finn pathetically said.

"You know how you always go on about your family never trusting you enough for the big jobs? That you never get to go out with them and help? This is why. Because you do things like this, you fuck everything up Finn. Fuck!" I wiped away my tears, even though more spilled out."You know I've always stuck beside you, but this is the last straw Finn. I can't be with someone who doesn't want to put effort into their future."

"What are you saying? (Y/N), I can fix this. I promise I'll get the money back, I'll-"

"How? That took us so long to build that up. And you were spending our money almost every night on useless drinking. I can't Finn, I can't live like that anymore."

He ducked his head, and I almost wanted him to say something. When he didn't, I knew what I had to do.

I took a deep breath before speaking."I'm going home. I suggest you stay at Polly's tonight."

"Let me take you home-"

"No!"

"What's going on?" Tommy suddenly appeared, he, his brothers and Polly approaching.

"Your nephew, your brother, just gave away almost all of our money betting on a horse. Not only that, but he took the money without telling me. That was money for a house." I angrily explained.

"Is that true Finn?"

Finn shamefully nodded.

"We can get you your money back (Y/N)."

"It's not about that Tom. He's lied to me. He promised me he wouldn't spend our money every week, yet he did. And then he takes our money without asking me about it first."

"I'll fix it (Y/N), I promise I will." Finn was begging at this point.

"Another promise that you're bound to break. I've had enough today."

"Let's get you home love." Polly said, putting a stop to this argument as she stepped forward, taking me under her arm.

Finn didn't come home that night. I didn't sleep. I was sat at the tiny dining table, staring at the ring on my finger, wondering what to do. It broke my heart to think about leaving him, but it also broke my heart thinking about how reckless he had been. Did I really want to be marrying someone who acted like this? Would he mature? My heart wanted to believe he would, but my mind kept telling me that today confirmed he wouldn't. That was one of the worst nights of my life.

                                     *~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*

I couldn't stand this job any longer. But it was the only thing keeping me alive. It was crappy work, the pay was just above minimum, enough for me to buy food, pay my rent and have the tiniest amount left over. Saving up money was hard when it was just you. Even after two years, I didn't have enough to consider looking at places of my own, or with less roommates. It was exhausting keeping up with these girls I lived with, there were 6 of us altogether. It was a big change when I moved away from Small Heath.

"You ready (Y/N)?" one of my roommates called out to me as I finished applying my lipstick.

"Just a second!" I replied, checking myself in the mirror.

It was the rare occasion that I was going out with them, the one time we could all go out together at all. I was looking forward to a few drinks, and although that sounded hypocritical, I realised that I had to have a night or two in at least a month to relieve myself of the stress I put upon myself.

We arrived at the small club we always went to, it had the cheapest drinks this side of town. We all shivered in the cold weather, walking as fast as we could to make it to the club. The warmth was very welcome, as well as the loud music that drew us further in. It was the usual routine, a few of us grab a table, the others get the drinks in, then we would all make our way to the dance floor. Hours passed, and I had to get away from the heat coming from the dancing, stepping back towards our table to get a drink. I saw my roommate stumbling in the direction of the bar, rolling my eyes as I went to help her, perhaps getting a drink whilst I was there. However, once I got closer, I stared at the man she was starting to flirt with.

"Isaiah?" I said as I got closer.

"(Y/N)!" he smiled, bringing me in for a hug.

"You two know each other?" my roommate asked, looking disappointed.

"He's an old friend. Just that, nothing else."

Isaiah let me go."How long has it been? Two years?"

"Uh, yeah. Yeah, two years. What are you doing here?"

"Business. Nothing dangerous though, you girls are still in for a good night. Especially you if you're good." he winked to my roommate.

"Is he...is he here?" my voice suddenly went shaky, and I felt almost completely sober.

Isaiah's playful nature dropped."Uh, he is. He's really misses you (Y/N). Hasn't even looked at another girl since you left. He's just not been the same." I wasn't sure how to reply.

"I can't not tell him I saw you. Imagine if he found out, he would be so upset with me."

"I know. I wouldn't want to hurt your friendship."

"Maybe you should see him. It might do you both some good."

"Or the opposite."

"He still loves you. Even if you don't feel the same, it could bring closure. But I know you (Y/N), I can tell what you're thinking."

"You were always annoying like that."

"He's out front, in the corridor. That's all I'm going to say."

I looked at him for a few seconds, trying to make my mind up."Well, this one is a handful, just so you know."

"I think I can handle her." Isaiah smirked.

"I was warning her about you."

I giggled at his reaction, walking away and leaving him in his natural habitat of flirting. But as soon as I turned around, my stomach dropped, nerves filling up my entire body. He was here. I hadn't seen him for two years, though I thought about him everyday. Would he look different? Did I look different? What was he going to say? What was I going to say? My brain didn't want to think of any words, maybe I was about to babble absolute nonsense to him.

Upon seeing him, my throat tightened, the cool air slapping me in the face; oh, now I was sober. He hadn't noticed yet, leaning up against a wall, hands in his pockets. Wow, he had changed. His boyish charm was still there, yet he had matured into a handsome young man. It was like I was seeing him for the first time all over again. I was just happy that he would be seeing me in my finer clothes rather than catching me after work.

Urging my feet to move, I almost sighed at how small my steps were. I really was scared. Isaiah had said reassuring things, yet I couldn't even walk up to him. It was too late to back out now, especially when he finally looked up at me. I froze on the spot, not knowing what to do. Finn seemed the same way.

"(Y/N)." he said, I only just heard it.

"Hello."

Hello? Really, that's all I could come up with?

He pushed himself off the wall, coming to stand in front of me, though not too close."I...I can't believe you're here."

"I could say the same about you."

"This is where you've been living then."

I nodded."It's not too bad. I mean, I'm on a night out."

"Who are you with?"

I knew he was wondering if I was with a man."My roommates, I live with five other girls."

"Oh, that's a lot."

"Yeah, it's the only place I could afford."

"I hope it's nice."

"I shouldn't complain. A lot better than other places."

We both knew we were making an awful attempt at small talk. I was sure he had so much to say like I did, we just didn't want to dump it on each other in case the other ran away. It was like we were teenagers again, awkwardly trying to think of something to fill the dreaded silence.

"I really want to talk about us (Y/N)." Finn said.

"You do?"

"I...I just have so much to say to you. I can't do it now, but what about tomorrow?"

"Tomorrow? Tomorrow, um, yes, yes tomorrow works for me. It's the weekend, so I'm not working."

He smiled slightly."OK, good. I'll come get you. Um, I need your address."

"Oh, here." I dug around in my purse, thankful there was a folded up tissue and a pen, it was good to be prepared. I wrote down my address, handing it to him.

"I'll pick you up at one. I would want it to be earlier, you just never know what time you'll be back with this sort of thing."

"I understand Finn, I did live this with you once."

I barely slept, even when we stumbled in at three in the morning. Luckily I hadn't seen Finn, Isaiah or any other Peaky Blinder that evening, no doubt settling business behind the scenes. Despite the lack of sleep, I was wide awake the next morning, up before everyone else who were nursing their hangovers, trying on multiple outfits in a desperate attempt to look nice, but not as if I put too much effort in. The clock was rolling onto one o'clock, and my heart was beating much faster than usual. I was about to make my way downstairs when something glistened on my small vanity. Should I take it? Yes, I would.

Finn knocked on the door, and I waited a few seconds before opening it. We smiled as we greeted each other, not going in for a hug or kiss on the cheek, something I was worried about. That was the first hurdle jumped over.

"How was your evening?" Finn struck up a conversation as we walked further into town.

"Much better than yours I presume?" I smirked. He chuckled."Yeah, didn't exactly get to enjoy the music. Small fight, nothing we couldn't handle."

It was strange hearing about Blinder business again."Well I'm glad you're all safe."

"I thought we could go out for lunch, saw a nice place round here."

"Oh, that would be lovely."

"We don't have to, if you don't feel comfortable."

"No, no, no, it's not that. It's just a lovely thing for you to do."

We both bashfully smiled, luckily the restaurant was just around the corner. I had expected nothing less when we walked into the fancy place, not because I thought I deserved it, but because Finn wouldn't be seen anywhere else. His clothes were even more tailored now than they had been the last I saw him, indicating that the gang had been doing well, more money was coming in. We both immediately picked up our menus as we sat, hoping someone would speak first. Our eyes glanced over the top of them, it was as if we were on our first date again, only this time in a better establishment.

"You look beautiful." he said, still hiding part of his face.

"Thank you." I blushed.

"I'll never forget what you wore when I picked you up for our first date. That blue dress you just bought, with a matching purse, and those heels that you hadn't practiced walking in. Well, you used that as an excuse to latch into my arm all night."

I smiled, placing down my menu."It was a good plan, wasn't it? And I did struggle in those heels, I just didn't want to embarrass myself."

He copied me."I liked holding your hand all night."

"What a sweet sentiment."

"I mean it. And I mean this date. That didn't sound right, but...what I'm trying to say is that I want to make it all up to you."

"You do?"

"Yes! I really didn't expect you to leave. I mean I did, but I didn't want to believe that. I didn't want to believe that I had been so selfish that I couldn't even see how much I had hurt you." 

“That was the hardest decision I ever made. Most days I battle with myself whether I made the right choice. All night I kept making deals with myself. If you came back, I would hear you out, and if it was good enough for me I would stay. But then you didn’t, so I said to myself ‘Give him another hour.’. An hour went by, and I said the same thing to myself. That went on for the whole evening until I found myself angrily packing my things. Even then, I sat by door on top of my suitcase for another hour or so.”

“I thought you just got up and left. I didn’t realise how long you waited for me.” he sighed into his hands.“I’m such a fucking idiot.”

I could tell he was full of regret. Although it sounded sadistic, I was glad that he was upset when reflecting on our past relationship, it meant he realised his mistake. On the other hand, I hated seeing him sad. I took his hands away from his face, hesitantly reaching into my handbag to pull out the engagement ring I kept.

His eyes widened.“You still have that? I looked everywhere for it when you left, guessed you took it to sell.”

“I won’t lie, that was my intention at first. But it meant too much to me. It was like selling a piece of my soul. I kept it hidden, I didn’t want to risk any of the girls seeing it, they would just ask too many questions.”

I kept my eye on the beautiful ring as I spoke, slowly twirling it around to catch it twinkling in the light.

"I had such a hard time picking that out. I knew what you wanted, but I had to get it right for you. I'm so glad you kept it."

"I did try to sell it. I was stood outside of a shop for ten minutes debating with myself. It would have helped a lot for the deposit on the room, but I couldn't do it."

We were silent, both staring at the ring. We used to do that a lot actually. Finn would take my hand and hold it up as we laid in bed together, both giggling as we watched it glisten like it was in present times, before squealing at the thought of us being married to each other. I constantly fiddled with it when he was off on business, a habit which never wore off, even now; whenever I was nervous or worried, I would automatically do the same action, just without the ring.

A waiter awkwardly interrupted us, and I hurriedly put the ring back in my bag, sharing an embarrassed smile with Finn as we ordered. Once he was gone, I quietly sighed, looking out of the window. We were in such a nice part of town, so many ladies in beautiful dresses and men in smart suits strolling around.

"Are you...are you OK for money?" Finn boldly asked.

I was a little shocked by that.

"I don't mean anything by it. I just want to make sure you're OK, I would hate for you to be struggling, if you were."

"Uh, no, no I'm fine actually. It's not as generous as my old wage but it keeps me alive, I can live with the bare necessities."

I could see him itching to say something else, to keep the conversation going. I wasn't sure if we could go back to the serious topic we had before. However, I also wanted to bring it back up, it felt like we needed to talk about us.

"How's the family?" That's all I could come up with.

"They're fine. Everyone is the same. Well, they're not, they're a bit more serious nowadays."

"They weren't in the first place?"

He smiled."I suppose they were. Tension is the right word, tensions have been rising. Tommy's taking on a lot more, Polly knows all these secrets that no one else does, Ada is rebelling against anything Tommy says, Linda is still annoying, Esme and John have been popping kids out left, right and centre. Arthur is still crazy."

"Sounds like business as usual to me."

"They miss you too."

"Do they?"

"Yeah. Almost as much as me."

I cast my eyes down as butterflies rose in my stomach.

"I heard nothing else for the next few weeks after you left. They all told me what an idiot I was, that I was an extremely reckless, stupid and immature boy, and that I had let the best thing in my life get away from me. And they were right. I knew all of that already."

"I...I don't really know what to say right now."

"You don't have to say anything, let's just enjoy this meal, no more of that talk."

The nerves making my stomach flip built at that. What if we had nothing else to talk about? What if it was too weird to dive into our separate lives? I didn't want to sit across my ex-fiance, painfully and politely smiling through forced conversation.

The spark was still there.

When the waiter had returned with our drinks, we were already deep in talk about what had been happening in our personal everyday life. We were non stop, even as we ate through dinner. The waiters had trouble catching our attention each time they checked on us. I was deep in those eyes again, the ones I always dreamed of seeing. We were laughing hysterically, not at all acting how we should have in that establishment (there were a few eye rolls from other patrons). As if time had gone by in a second, the bill was slipped towards Finn, though I still reached into my purse.

"Are you mad? No, put your money away, I'm not taking it." Finn stated as he carelessly threw down some notes, surprisingly taking my hand in his and guiding me out of the restaurant.

I was tense as we walked, and I saw a flash of realisation in Finn's eyes as we made it outside. Both looking down at our interlocked fingers, Finn broke away, clearing his throat.

"Sorry, force of habit."

Hesitating, I smiled up at him, lacing our hands together again."These are new heels I'm breaking in. Need help walking in them."

He chuckled, pulling me closer as we walked down the street. We were silent, feeling like kids in love again. I couldn't deny that my feelings were still strong for Finn, I missed him dearly. At first, part of me had been wary of all this, wondering if he really had good intentions, or just thought he could get a quick shag in from an ex before he left; but the effort he went through, the things we spoke about, trying to heal old wounds, Finn had matured and he was wanting to fix this. I wanted to fix this, my heart was aching for my old life with him. 

“We’re not done yet, are we?” I timidly asked.

“Not unless you want it to be.”

I instantly shook my head.“No, I’d like to stay out for longer.”

“Even though you’re struggling in your heels?”

I smirked.“I know a nice place we can sit down.”

I took him to the local park, it had a huge lake with benches dotted around, luckily it wasn’t busy, there was somehow a hint of privacy here. We sat down close to each other, hands still entwined. 

“You still hungry?” I asked.

“Hm?”

I dug into my purse, producing a bag of sweets I had bought the previous day. I laughed as his eyes lit up, taking one without even asking. I took one too, reminiscing on how we used to do the same thing as kids. It seemed he was thinking about it too.

“Just like the old days.” Finn said.

“We spent way too much money on sweets back then. It’s a wonder we still have our teeth.”

 “Wish I got out of that spending habit. We could be married and in our new house by now.”

“So you never wanted to move on? You didn’t give in to those girls wanting to be with a Peaky Blinder?”

“Never. I couldn’t. I couldn’t even fathom being with anyone else, it was always you (Y/N). Did you date?”

“No, I felt exactly the same. Which is why I was angry at myself for a long time. I was supposed to be upset with you, not still in love.”

His head whipped round to face me.“You still love me?”

My mouth was still open, unsure how to answer. It seemed I didn’t have to as Finn leaned in, placing on hand on my cheek as we kissed. Instinctively I kissed back, placing my hands on him where I could, hearing the bag of sweets fall to the ground and spill its contents. This kiss was needy, the type of kiss you gave your partner when you had missed them, when they had been away for a long time; and although we had our hands on each other, our touch was still gentle.

“Get the ring.” Finn breathed out, our lips still almost touching.

I carelessly got it for him, heart beating extremely fast. He took it from me, pecking me on the lips one last time before standing up. He straightened out his suit, took a deep breath and got down on one knee. I was just as emotional the first time he did it.

“(Y/N), I know I messed up everything in the past, I was careless when I should have been supportive and helped to build our future. I learnt from those mistakes, and I really, really want to go back to how we were. I need you (Y/N), I love you so much. There aren’t enough words to express how much love I have for you. Will you marry me?”

I didn’t need to think about my answer. I blurted out a yes, waiting for him to slide the ring back on my finger before throwing myself onto him. We stumbled back onto the ground, our arms around each other as we laughed and cried. I believed him this time, I truly believed him. He put in the effort to show me his changes, he wanted to fix everything. I wanted things back to the way they were with my man, and we were back to building our future and living the rest of our lives together.

[quirkle2]

WAIT WAIT if wars is exiled from his own home ,,,, the amount of dread. he would feel when LU is over and the found family is unfounded my god . like yes, he still wouldn't regret it bc it happened over him standing up for ledge, but that opens up the problem of homelessness and not to mention the spiral he'd probably go down from losing the family he's grown so used to having by his side. from how you've said it, im guessing he really has nobody to lean back on in his own time. i can see him digging his own way out and still finding a way to live happily but the way you've set it up makes at least the first few months for wars post-LU hurt and i am here for it <33

WIGGLES WIGGLES RUNS AROUND IN CIRCLES i actually have . an lu ending established in my head. i wont ramble abt it here cuz i don't wanna stray from ur ask but could y'all possibly indulge me sometime and let me ramble abt the Literal Best Case Scenario that will indeed give wars a very happy ending . it's my beloved ranch au and i cherish it deeply looks at u all like a pathetic little wet dog that's begging for scraps

BUT IF UR HERE FOR HURT,,,, i think i have some. in my head this is sort of a What If scenario—horrible-no-good-terrible-worst-case scenario—cuz i'm a little bitch boy who can't handle unfounded family and ill sob for three days straight if it ever happens for real but i can destroy him in hypothetical scenarios . for the funsies

(warning for unfounding the found family . and also additional stuff in the tags)

he Would be homeless and honestly he'd be damn hard-pressed to find any inn or business who would allow him service. imagine: he's just said goodbye to the chain and he's an absolute wreck—emotionally exhausted and Yeah rly fuckin hopeless, and he trudges to the nearest town he can find and discovers that 1) everybody he sees looks at him w malice, and 2) all of the business owners in town Refuse service to him

he discovers that somehow, at some point, false word had gotten out that their hero "abandoned" them. the stories r all different, and wars has no idea how they originated—some of them claim he simply quit and left, some say he Attacked The Queen and went rogue, some call him a traitor and accuse him of working with and fleeing to other countries, and some think he's Dead

and that . is a fucking slap to the face. he's been training 24/7 since he was 9 years old, put up w the abuse and neglect from his shitty father all the while, risked his life every day when promoted to captain to defend this kingdom from enemies and traitors alike, and when his people abandon him, they accuse him of treason and say he left his home to rot.

he walks through the streets of this town and most families are ushering their children into houses bc they heard the one-man army hero has gone mad. some of the more hostile, up-front people take him head on, spout death threats at him, swipe at him w blades and torches. he can't escape into a building bc no owner will let him in. he Has to flee

and u can imagine how the rest of his days go. search for a town, get chased out, camp in the woods and survive on scraps and dirty river water until he can find another town that prolly Won't sell him anything. he's fucked. he's truly and royally Fucked.

occasionally, he's saved by a town or two that leans toward the other side of things and some people don't believe the stories. some people think he was wronged, some believe he was Murdered, some think he simply fuckin retired, it varies. they're usually nicer to him, sometimes indifferent. the kinder people take him in, give him clean clothes and a warm meal and let him stay at the inn at a discount and sometimes even for free, if he looks particularly ragged or starved (he . is indeed lookin a little thin). he makes sure to thank them plenty

one time, he's invited into a nice family's house and they cook a hearty meal for him, offer a guest bed to rest in. and then they try to kill him in his sleep.

he doesn't take any handouts after that.

it takes a while—and i mean a while—to find somebody who's willing to let him rent a property or stay at an inn for an extended period of time. most people r wary of him, and since they've all heard the stories of how unstoppable he is, to regular old people he now seems like a monster. eventually though, he does find a place and folk who don't think he's all bad that'll let him stay if he pays well. he has plenty of money—he just hasn't been Allowed to spend any of it

that whole other ask ? the whole Point of the scarf deal, and what it symbolizes ? it's . kinda shredded into pieces in this scenario. yes, he did get better from his time in the war and Yes, the scarf still represents him finally finding a family to love and happiness to be had, but . now that's gone. his family is Gone. literally all that he has left is his mother's scarf, and even what it represents feels,,,,,,,,, soiled

he can't even visit his mother's grave. the cemetery is in castle town. he's been robbed of Literally Everything

.,, yeah ok that's all im so sorry GVIEAGYV hate to cut it short but this is too sad for me and like I said I'm a goddamn little bitch boy and if he doesn't get happiness RIGHT NOW !!!!!!!!!! I'LL DIE!!!!

i like to think he'd get better. but honestly ? that's . so much on him. all that on Such a sensitive and sweet person is a lot. i feel like he'd be miserably unhappy and hopeless for . a long time

[scoups4lyfe]

Am fascinated and do love Tarou's response being "You *might* be right." Even with his pathological honesty he doesn't discount the danger that excessive greed has but neither does he make it an absolute. For sure Tarou would never take dealing with Hitosuki as far as the Nouto do.

Hahahahahahaha :]].

I mean, I think both Momoi and Sonoi are very logical people. Momoi might not *get** why humans act in certain ways, but I'm sure he's seen how people can get so obsessed with one thing. And how easily they can hurt others for/because of said thing.

So, yeah.

"You might be right." is,,,,,, correct

I don't think it has anything really to do with personal bias/opinion or honesty. Because "Excessive greed could cause the end of the world" is a fact.

It's the reason why Utopias cannot exist.

Humans are inherently selfish. And they're also cowards. A real toxic combination.

I remember in my senior year of high school, during one of my college classes on International Politics, our teacher told us that although we can simulate what *should* happen. (Government wise.) That humans were not rational, logical people. They're swayed by emotions and because of it a simulation can only just be that -- a simulation.

Near finals, so we could take it easy, this same teacher had us paired in groups, and we were given a rando fictional country with rando resources. And then each day we could choose to either: put the country's resources into $$$ -- so prosperity for the citizens, or in the military, just in case another country wanted to attack us for our resources. And its a hard balance.

One country only put their resources into the economy, prosperity, and since they didn't have a big army there was this threat of invasion. So the leaders of that country went around making alliances/treaties. So that if war happened, they could rely on an ally's military, in exchange for providing that ally with a resource the country had that the ally needed. (Like fish or oil for example.)

Each day every country also got 2 secret objectives. One day, our country got the objective to go to the front and announce that we now had nukes.

We did.

In the span of 5 minutes every single one of the other countries were announcing they had nukes. As if our country doing that was an active threat to their country lmao rip.

Anyways as tensions continue to boil and alliances were made, one country that wanted $$$$ attacked the country without the army. Our country (were in the alliance with the prosperous country) so we stepped up to provide support, as did a bunch of other countries.

Seeing this, the "allies" for the country that declared the war backed out of the alliance LOL. Meaning the country that waged war was gonna get majorly screwed over. So the leader of that country was like "Well if I"M going down wE ALL ARE" and launched his nukes, which prompted everyone ELSE to launch THEIR nukes, and basically because of nuclear fallout, our class caused the entire end of the fictional world we were given.

( L O L) Our teacher was furious with us. Said that in all of his years teaching the class, this had NEVER happened before.

Anyways, I brought this up to make a point. And the point is, excessive greed *can* end the world. That possibility is a fact. All it takes is greed.

So Tarou saying "that might be true" is, well, the logical response to an illogical world. However, Momoi really loves people. He wants to make them happy. He wants to help. He wants to bring joy to others.

His desires are not selfish. Because his compassion for others is his primary motivation.

Sonoi's main motivation (at least when it comes to interacting with humans) is to protect the Nouto's realm from shattering because a human got too obsessed, and too greedy. Therefore, already it puts him at odds with humanity.

Their greed could kill him and his world (as well as the humans). So wiping out someone who fell to their greed is the most logical option. If they fell to greed once, whose to say if given another chance they won't just fall to their own greed once again?

Momoi choosing to take that chance of mutual destruction just on the unlikely chance the person he helped will change is,,,, wildly illogical and also where he and Sonoi differ.

[ranboo5]

hot take ranboo can be upset that tubbo hasn't felt as happy during the time he spent married to him as he was back when the pranks on the server wouldn't escalate into war but it's incredibly self-centered to think that he hasnt been happy because of him whwn since they got married nearly died again, his best friend actually died after wanting closure, he lost a whole nuclear weapon, and his husband still hasn't moved in with him and he's bored out of his mind and afraid for his son and he wants something to Do. Las Nevadas is shady at best and likely not what he needs mentally and Ranboo made him plenty happy but Ranboo is upset over a couple tulips not being able to magically take away his husband's trauma and he kinda needs to get over himself

OH NOW THIS IS FUN

Bc on one hand: SO FUCKING TRUE! Ranboo IS self centered and Ranboo IS expecting himself to Be Enough for the guy when as you mentioned Tubbo has SO much shit going on and no matter how hard Ranboo believes in the I Can Fix Him he's setting himself up for exactly this

But on the other hand: that's not really the totality of what he's upset about

There's an important component that Ranboo isn't upset At Tubbo as much as he is upset In General (though there's definitely some bitterness At Tubbo most likely lmao); he's worried for Tubbo, very understandably, and he's not just been told "yeah I have emotional needs outside of u lol" 

He's been told essentially that the only thing Tubbo will/can accept as smth to make him happy is the sheer concept of allegiance to smth that will never give back, which isn't just a sign of Ranboo failing (in his own eyes) to be a good husband/friend but also a sign of him failing to do literally anything abt the whole sides issue. “People not sides” vs “yeah I am emotionally reliant on sides.” Also Tubbo signing over the outpost w/o even telling Ranboo is also a risk factor AND smth that affects something Ranboo worked on profusely that discounts the effort Ranboo put in For Tubbo's Sake. It's not just "I can be happy somewhere else/I need more than you to be happy" is the thing; what Ranboo got conveyed was "nothing you did mattered"

And hell even being fuckt up abt the I Can Fix Him component is understandable considering the context in which the I Can Fix Him cmponent exists and what that means to Ranboo yk? That's a high-stakes and incredibly significant thing to Ranboo and it's getting discounted along with his work on the outpost and in general everythin he's done

Mind you Tubbo doesn't mean to dismiss any of these things; as u say it's completely understandable lmao and again no matter how much Ranboo hopes he cannot in fact fix the guy. Tubbo doesn't recognize how this reads, he doesn't recognize LNV for the threat it is, he doesn't know what the hell is going on in Ranboo's head irt the whole people not sides thing, and he doesn't register his dismissal of Ranboo's efforts as significant both bc it's debatable if he registers Ranboo's efforts at all lmao and bc of the ways Tubbo himself has been treated. He doesn't Recognize what he's doing is upsetting and borderline callous and is certainly not doing it out of malice or out of not caring abt Ranboo

But Ranboo has just had it commiunicated to him that his husband is choosing the concept of a side over him. It's actually got some interesting parallels to the Green Festival betrayal now tht I think aboutit; it's not as like hardkey in these things but like. The issue isn't that the guy has made a choice it's that the guy has made a choice to support and stand by the exact powerstructure that threatens both parties involved, to your face, while apparently not recognizing or caring about all the effort you put in for his sake and his safety over and over in large part thanklessly

And that shit fuckin' sucks and yk what? It IS his party and he WILL cry if he wants to cry if he wants to cry if he wants to and tbh you probably WOULD cry too if it happened to you ik I would 

Tl;dr: My guy Ranboo got cucked by the abstract concept of nationalism and as much of a self-centered prick he might be+as much as he set himself up for this and made it so much worse for himself w/ his self importance, I think b/w the factz that that's not the only reason it sucks for him rn+that even that reason isn't a factor for no reason, you do gotta have some sympathy for the poor man he tried so hard and got so far and in the end it didn’t even matter 

[amuelia]

How do you think Roose will meet his demise? Or will he survive? What's your best Roose end game predictions?

Thank you for the question! This will be a long post under the readmore, going into my thoughts on the show ending and exploring what the books may have set up in regards to themes and characterization, as well as a bit of general analysis of Roose' story arc in a Dance with Dragons (and some speculation about Ramsay as well).

If you click on the readmore i will have divided the post into sections with bolded Headers, if you want to only read my specific endgame ideas you can skip ahead to the "His Endgame?" section.

In The Show

The show had him get killed by Ramsay in s6, which informs a lot of the fandom speculation about this storyline.

I am not a fan of the show's scenario as it was both similar to tywin and tyrion as well as a mirror of robb's death; it would also be offscreen in the books since neither of the characters are PoVs and Ramsay would need to do the act in secret. This would ultimately undercut Roose' role and impact, being a death scene that is not very unique and also isn't shown to the reader directly. Since no PoV is even in Winterfell currently, we would just hear of it from afar and not witness the consequences.

The show also has a different dynamic in the Bolton storyline, emphasizing Ramsay as the "main character" of this arc, and elevating him to the main villain for s5-6 to fill Joffrey's shoes as an evil character played by a very charismatic actor. Ramsay's show writing is informed by the needs of a TV setting that wants shocking moments and capitalizes on "fan favourite" actors; his rising importance in the show thus is not necessarily an indicator of his book importance. The show was also missing many central characters like the northern lords and the Frey men in Winterfell.

The show had a tendency to kill off characters early when they wanted to cull storylines or had no plans to adapt more of the character's story (like Stannis, Barristan, possibly the Tyrells...); In Mance Rayder we have the most obvious example, where they killed him off for real in a scene that in the book was a misdirection. We also have characters like Jorah where it appears the showrunners had their own choice of how they want his storyline to end, even if Grrm has his own ending in mind.

"For a long time we wanted Ser Jorah to be there at The Wall in the end," writer Dave Hill says. "The three coming out of the tunnel would be Jon and Jorah and Tormund. But [...] Jorah should have the noble death he craves defending the woman he loves." - Dave Hill for Entertainment Weekly

So a death in the show does not need to be an indicator that the books will feature an equivalent scene, even if it gives a hint as to what may happen. By s5 the show has become its own beast, and the butterfly effects from radical changes they made as well as the different characterizations results in the show having to cater to its own needs in many cases when it gets to resolving a plotline.

"We reconceived the role to make it worthy of the actor's talents." - Benioff and Weiss for the s5 DVD commentary, on Indira Varma's casting as Ellaria

In The Books

(Since this post was getting out of hand in length a lot of these arguments are a little shortened/not as in-depth as i'd like! Feel free to inquire more via ask if something is unclear or you disagree)

In the books i find it hard to make a concrete guess as to how it will end. Occam's razor would be to assume the show sort of got it right and that it will vaguely end the same, which could very well happen and i will not discount the possibility; Ramsay is cruel, desires the Dreadfort rule, and is a suspected kinslayer and has no qualms to commit immoral violence.

"Ramsay killed [his brother]. A sickness of the bowels, Maester Uthor says, but I say poison." - Reek III, aDwD

Reek saw the way Ramsay's mouth twisted, the spittle glistening between his lips. He feared he might leap the table with his dagger in his hand [to attack his father]. - Reek III, aDwD

Arguments against this or for a different endgame come down to interpretations of the themes in the story arc and opinions on dramatic structure/grrm's writing, and are thus very subjective.

The way the story currently is going, Ramsay killing Roose treats Roose almost as a plot device; his death brings no change or development to Ramsay's character as we already know his motivations and cruelty align with such an act, and we can assume that he would feel no remorse about it either. The results of such a scene would be firmly on a story level, as it brings political changes and moves the plot along into a specific direction. Roose himself cannot have any relevant character development about it as he does not have a PoV and we would not be able to witness his reaction from the outside.

“The only thing worth writing about is the human heart in conflict with itself.” - William Faulkner, often quoted by Grrm

Further, killing his father is very difficult to pull off in secret (Roose is frequently described as very cautious, and employs many guardsmen). And even if Ramsay pulls it off (people often interpret Ramsay as Roose' blind spot, assuming he might be caught by surprise, not expecting Ramsay would bite the hand that feeds him), Roose is the one that holds his entire alliance together; The Freys would be alienated by Ramsay who would antagonize Walda and her son as his rivals, The Ryswell bloc appears to dislike Ramsay (especially Barbrey), and the other northmen are implied to not even like Roose himself. Killing Roose would quickly combust the entire northern faction, and hinder Ramsay's further plans (another reason why I am not convinced of a book version of the "Battle of Bastards"). Though this might of course, if we look at it from the other side, be grrm's plan to quickly dissolve this plot and move the northern story forwards.

"Ramsay will kill [Walda's children], of course. [...] [She] will grieve to see them die, though." - Reek III, aDwD

"How many of our grudging friends do you imagine we'd retain if the truth were known? Only Lady Barbrey, whom you would turn into a pair of boots … inferior boots." - Reek III, aDwD

"Fear is what keeps a man alive in this world of treachery and deceit. Even here in Barrowton the crows are circling, waiting to feast upon our flesh. The Cerwyns and the Tallharts are not to be relied on, my fat friend Lord Wyman plots betrayal, and Whoresbane … the Umbers may seem simple, but they are not without a certain low cunning. Ramsay should fear them all, as I do." - Reek III, aDwD

Roose' death at Ramsay's hand also removes him thematically from the Red Wedding, as we can assume such a death might have happened regardless of his participation in the event (seeing as Ramsay is getting provoked by Roose constantly in normal dialogue, and has a general violent disposition). Roose already took Ramsay in before aGoT started, and married Walda very early in the war, which is already most of the buildup that the show's scenario had. It also has little to do with the The North Remembers plot except set dressing, since the northmen are presumably neither collaborating with/egging on Ramsay nor would they appreciate the development.

Themes: Ned Stark and the rule over the North

Roose is treated as a foil to Eddard; They are often contrasted in morals and ruling styles, while also having many superficial similarities that further connect them (they are seen as cold by people, grey eyed, patriarchs of rivalling northern houses, etc...).

Pale as morning mist, his eyes concealed more than they told. Jaime misliked those eyes. They reminded him of the day at King's Landing when Ned Stark had found him seated on the Iron Throne. - Jaime IV, aSoS

They both have a "bastard son" that they handle very differently; Roose treating Ramsay in the way that is seen as common in their society. Ramsay and Jon as a comparison are meant to show that Catelyn had a reason to see a bastard as a threat (since Domeric was antagonized by his bastard brother), but also shows that her suggested plan for Jon would not have stopped any danger either (as Ramsay being raised away from the castle didn't help).

And if his seed quickened, she expected he would see to the child's needs. He did more than that. The Starks were not like other men. Ned brought his bastard home with him, and called him "son" for all the north to see. - Catelyn II, aGoT

"Each year I sent the woman some piglets and chickens and a bag of stars, on the understanding that she was never to tell the boy who had fathered him. A peaceful land, a quiet people, that has always been my rule." - Reek III, aDwD

It appears to me that Roose' story functions in some ways as an inversion to Ned. He makes an attempt to grab a power he was not destined to (becoming warden of the north), where Ned did not want the responsiblity thrust upon him ("It was all meant for Brandon. [...] I never asked for this cup to pass to me." - Cat II, aGoT). Where Ned rules successfully and his northmen honor his legacy ("What do you think passes through their heads when they hear the new bride weeping? Valiant Ned's precious little girl." - The Turncloak, aDwD), the Boltons are largely hated and there are several plots conspiring against them ("Let me bathe in Bolton blood before I die." - The King's Prize, aDwD).

It seems possible to me that in terms of their family and legacy, Roose might also live through an inverted version of Ned's story; where Ned died first, leaving his family behind, Roose already lived to see the death of his wives and trueborn heir, and might thus also live to see Ramsay's death. Ned leaves behind well raised children and a North who still respects his name, and even though he dies it will presumably all be "in good hands" in the end (in broad strokes, obviously this is all much more morally complex). Roose however built up a bad and toxic legacy, and also built his way of life around evading consequences; it makes sense to me that he would be forced by the story to finally endure all the consequences of his actions and witness the fall of his house firsthand. After all we already have Tywin who fulfils the purpose of dying before his children while his legacy falls to ruins, and a Feast for Crows explores this aspect thoroughly.

Roose' arc in A Dance With Dragons

The story repeatedly builds up the situation unravelling around Roose, and him slowly losing a grip on it and becoming more stressed and anxious.

Reek wondered if Roose Bolton ever cried. If so, do the tears feel cold upon his cheeks? - Reek II, aDwD

Roose Bolton said nothing at all. But Theon Greyjoy saw a look in his pale eyes that he had never seen before—an uneasiness, even a hint of fear. [...] That night the new stable collapsed beneath the weight of the snow that had buried it. - a Ghost in Winterfell, aDwD

Lady Walda gave a shriek and clutched at her lord husband's arm. "Stop," Roose Bolton shouted. "Stop this madness." His own men rushed forward as the Manderlys vaulted over the benches to get at the Freys. - Theon I, aDwD

It also directly presents him as a parallel to Theon's rule in aCoK, who similarly experienced a very unpopular rule and his subjects slowly turning against him. Presumably, the point of this comparison will not just be "Ramsay comes in at the end and unexpectedly whacks them on the head". Both Theon and Roose invited Ramsay into their lives, giving him more power than he deserves, and causing Ramsay to make choices that increasingly alienate others from them (the death of the miller's boys for example has repercussions for both Theon and Roose). Grrm is likely steering this towards a difference in how they will deal with this situation.

It all seemed so familiar, like a mummer show that he had seen before. Only the mummers had changed. Roose Bolton was playing the part that Theon had played the last time round, and the dead men were playing the parts of Aggar, Gynir Rednose, and Gelmarr the Grim. Reek was there too, he remembered, but he was a different Reek, a Reek with bloody hands and lies dripping from his lips, sweet as honey. - a Ghost in Winterfell, aDwD

"Stark's little wolflings are dead," said Ramsay, sloshing some more ale into his cup, "and they'll stay dead. Let them show their ugly faces, and my girls will rip those wolves of theirs to pieces. The sooner they turn up, the sooner I kill them again." - The elder Bolton sighed. "Again? Surely you misspeak. You never slew Lord Eddard's sons, those two sweet boys we loved so well. That was Theon Turncloak's work, remember? How many of our grudging friends do you imagine we'd retain if the truth were known?" - Reek III, aDwD

Roose' arc is deeply connected to the relations he shares to the other northern lords, which has been heavily impacted by the Red Wedding. It stands to reason that they are going to be an important part of his downfall, and we see many hints of them plotting to betray him.

The north remembers, Lord Davos. The north remembers, and the mummer's farce is almost done. My son is home." - Davos IV, aDwD

Themes: Stannis and kinslaying

The books set up Roose and Stannis as foils as well; Both lack charisma and have trouble winnning the people's support, Stannis and Roose both parallel and contrast Ned, Stannis appears as a "lesser Robert" where Roose is a "lesser Ned", Stannis represents the fire where Roose represents the ice, both struggle over dominion in a land that doesnt particularly want either of them, etc... What i find interesting is how they are contrasted over kinslaying:

"Only Renly could vex me so with a piece of fruit. He brought his doom on himself with his treason, but I did love him, Davos. I know that now. I swear, I will go to my grave thinking of my brother's peach." - Davos II, aCoK

"I should've had the mother whipped and thrown her child down a well … but the babe did have my eyes." [...] "Now [Domeric's] bones lie beneath the Dreadfort with the bones of his brothers, who died still in the cradle, and I am left with Ramsay. Tell me, my lord … if the kinslayer is accursed, what is a father to do when one son slays another?" - Reek III, aCoK

Stannis is set up as someone who is very thorough and strict in following his own code and his "duty", even if he does not like what it forces him to do.

Stannis ground his teeth again. "I never asked for this crown. Gold is cold and heavy on the head, but so long as I am the king, I have a duty . . . If I must sacrifice one child to the flames to save a million from the dark . . . Sacrifice . . . is never easy, Davos. Or it is no true sacrifice. Tell him, my lady." - Davos IV, aSoS

The armorer considered that a moment. "Robert was the true steel. Stannis is pure iron, black and hard and strong, yes, but brittle, the way iron gets. He'll break before he bends." - Jon I, aCoK

Roose however is frequently characterized as someone who tries to get as much as he can while avoiding negative consequences, and who does not have a consistent moral code and instead bends rules to his benefit to be the most comfortable to him.

It is often theorized that Stannis will end up burning his daughter Shireen; the Ramsay issue might then serve to contrast the two men. If Grrm intends it to be compared by the reader, I can see it going two ways: Either Roose will be forced to finally act in a drastic way after avoiding his responsibility in regards to Ramsay and he will be forced to get rid of his son, making him break the only moral hurdle he has presented adhering to during the story (though analyzing his character, the kinslaying taboo is probably less a sign of moral fortitude and more him using the guise of morals to explain a selfish motivation). Or he might not act against Ramsay and suffer the consequences, presenting an interesting moral situation where some readers might consider his action "better" or more relatable than Stannis', breaking up the otherwise very black and white moral comparison between the two men. It serves as an interesting conflict of the morality of kinslaying compared to what readers might see as a moral obligation of getting rid of a monster such as Ramsay; contrasting Shireen whose death would not be seen as worth it by most. Ramsay as a bastard (who was almost killed at birth if he hadnt been able to prove his paternity) also makes for an interesting verbal parallel with the bastard Edric Storm, and might be used for a look at the utilitarian principle of killing a child (baby ramsay/edric) to save countless people from suffering that underpinned Edric's story.

"As Faulkner says, all of us have the capacity in us for great good and for great evil, for love but also for hate. I wanted to write those kinds of complex character in a fantasy, and not just have all the good people get together to fight the bad guy." - Grrm

"Robert, I ask you, what did we rise against Aerys Targaryen for, if not to put an end to the murder of children?" - Eddard VIII, aGoT

"If Joffrey should die . . . what is the life of one bastard boy against a kingdom?" - "Everything," said Davos, softly. - Davos V, aSoS

However Grrm decides to present these conflicts or which actions the characters will take in the end, it will result in interesting discussion and analysis for the readers.

His Endgame?

Looking at the trends of the past books, it is probably going to be hard to predict any specific outcome; every book introduces new characters and plot elements that were impossible to predict from the last book even if their thematic importance or setup was aptly foreshadowed.

Roose has a lot of plot importance and characterization that has, in my opinion, not yet been properly resolved in a way that would be unique and poignant to the specific purpose his character appears to fulfil. However I also have a bias in that i did not like the show's writing of that scene which makes me averse to see a version of it in the books, and i really like Roose as a character and want to see him have more scenes in the next book(s). This leads me to discount plot speculation that cuts his character arc short offscreen early. Roose is only a side character; however, i have trust in grrm's writing abilities and that he would give him a proper sendoff that feels satisfying to a fan of the character.

"…even the [characters] who are complete bastards, nasty, twisted, deeply flawed human beings with serious psychological problems… When I get inside their skin and look out through their eyes, I have to feel a certain — if not sympathy, certainly empathy for them. I have to try to perceive the world as they do, and that creates a certain amount of affection." — George Martin

Considering my earlier analyis, there is a case to be made for Roose killing Ramsay; however it appears grrm might have a different endgame in mind for Ramsay, foreshadowed in Chett's prologue:

There'd be no lord's life for the leechman's son, no keep to call his own, no wives nor crowns. Only a wildling's sword in his belly, and then an unmarked grave. The snow's taken it all from me . . . the bloody snow . . . - Chett, aSoS

I tend to think something might happen to Roose/the Bolton bloc later in the book that would cause Ramsay to attempt to flee the scene again like he did back in aCoK fleeing Rodrik's justice; perhaps Ramsay is sent out to battle but then flees it like a coward, or he sees his cause as lost. This time, the fleeing and potentially disguised Ramsay would not make it out to safety though, and get killed without being recognized as Ramsay, dying forgotten. This would serve as dramatic irony since Ramsay so strongly desired to be recognized and respected as a Lord of Bolton, without being too on the nose.

As for Roose, i could see him getting captured and somehow brought to justice (either when someone takes Winterfell or in some sort of battle). I see it unlikely that he will be backstabbed like Robb was, because it seems very "eye for an eye" and ultimately doesn't teach much of a lesson except "he had it coming"; But the various people conspiring against him could lead to his capture by betraying him (giving a payoff to the northern conspiracies and the red wedding). I would find a scene of him standing trial interesting since i believe we didn't have one of these for a true non-pov villain yet, and it would be an interesting confrontation that he cannot escape from (he also loves to talk so it would be a good read to see him make a case for himself).

I assume Roose will be out of the picture when the Other plot finally properly kicks into gear (whether dead or "in prison"). With Stannis as a false Azor Ahai and Roose as a false Other (with his pale, cold features), their struggle in the north seems to be a representation of the false "Game of Thrones" that distracts people from the "real threat" of the Others.

As always this is just my opinion, and it could all go very differently in the books! There could always be something that completely uproots my analysis and goes into a direction i did not expect from the material we had; But i have fate that Grrm as a writer will deliver and give me something i can be satisfied with.

[tundrainafrica]

[Part 1] Hi Sav! What are ur thoughts on Kamiya's (Levi's VA) words regarding Levi? Here are two translations I found on twitter. Since you know Japanese I think you're the perfect person to ask this from ^^ " Today at Anime Japan Kamiya Hiroshi said, “Levi hasn’t changed. The loss of Erwin is so huge that afterwards his life in a sense is like ‘yosei’.” Yosei (余生) means like, the rest of one’s life (after raising kids or retiring) where you have nothing left to do"++

Disclaimer: Please I have no intention of starting a ship war with this, I just wanna drop my own interpretation for my own Levihan stanning heart. 

Note: I had no plans of watching the Japanese Seiyu panel for the last episode of Attack on Titan for many reasons and 90% of it is because Romi Paku didn’t show up and I’m still salty overall about how AOT and the narrative is treating Hange altogether and literally the only comfort I get about Hange this whole AOT season is that she looks great in all her scenes but anyway, enough about the rant. I’m still low key salty about not getting our Levihan reunion yet… But whatever. 

I got all of these asks in succession and soon after I did some research on twitter to see what all the fuss was about and apparently, a lot of Eruri fans are likening Levi to a widow--- A WIDOW of all things. 

And I dunno, I feel like this conclusion for one kinda cheapens Levi’s character altogether and just cheapens the bond of Levihan so I kinda realized I just cannot stand and watch some obviously Eruri-biased Japanese translations of that statement run rampant on twitter without my own take. 

So anyway, I’m gonna drop my own take on this, my own interpretation as a Levihan stan.

Disclaimer: I am in no way trying to push any Levihan agenda on anyone. If you like Eruri and you wanna stick to your widow interpretation feel free too. I just feel like a pro Levihan take, and a more ‘non Eruri’ take on that statement should exist as well so I’ll just drop this here for Levihan fans to seek comfort and possibly for any casual reader or Eruri fan to get some other perspectives on this statement I guess?

This is the original Text

声の方「団長、エルヴィンを失ったことはとても大きかったと思うんですよ」

「だからそこから先ってある意味余生みたいな感じになってる気がする」

Isym先生「エルヴィンの最期を看取って役割を全うし、現在宙ぶらりんな状態」

リヴァイ本人「…俺達の役目は」「あそこで終わりだったのかもしれない…」

And if I were going to translate it word for word. 

“For Levi, losing Erwin was a big thing. And everything after that became some sort of ‘retirement’ (Yosei) for him. Since he took it upon himself then to follow Erwin, right now it feels just dangling in space.”

Okay these are obviously Eruri crumbs at first glance and I recognize why exactly Eruris would celebrate over something like this because if we had a Levihan thing like this too, I’ll probably be celebrating too

But Let me offer my own interpretation of this as a Levihan stan

Yes, I recognize that for Levi losing Erwin was a big thing, but I’d like to paint some of the terms in a positive light for Levi. And the main key terms above were ‘Yosei’ and “Levi dangling in space’

So I’ll be focusing on those two: 

余生 (Yosei)

余生 (Yosei) isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Yosei literally translates to ‘the remaining years of someone’s life” So it doesn't necessarily mean Levi’s a widow or Levi is lonely because Erwin’s not there anymore In fact, Yosei is used a lot from what I see, to mean, retirement years. So after you’re done with your job and you retire, your last few years playing golf, playing with grandchildren, those are your ‘yoseis’ 

And there are lots of takes I saw online to this Yosei thing 

There was a meta in Japanese I found  where they discussed the fact that Levi was approaching his twilight years. and the main reason he was facing ‘retirement’ wasn’t necessarily because Erwin was gone but because soon after Erwin died, the basement happened and it turned out there were enemies much stronger than titans out there. 

The ‘Yosei’ meant, Levi retired from his role as ‘humanity’s strongest soldier’ because Levi was the ‘strongest soldier’ against titans, not against humans, the rapidly changing world and technology. I mean if we actually are objective about this, we could see the most capable survey corps member for handling the new enemy which is Marley and the Hizuru and just all the other countries and the impending war, was Hange since she is the best at navigating politics and she would be the quickest to adapt to technology.  

So yes, if it’s obvious, I do not like the ‘Levi is a widow take’ AT ALL.

「エルヴィンの最期を看取って役割を全うし、現在宙ぶらりんな状態」

 Since he took it upon himself then to follow Erwin, right now it feels just dangling in space.

But I’m not gonna discount the role of Erwin in Levi’s life. I think it is actually very important to understand why Levi feels like ‘he’s dangling in space.’ 

We all remember that last scene from ACWNR after Isabel and Farlan died and I’m sure we can all connect those last words from Erwin all the way until Levid decides to follow him to the role implied above. 

Erwin was Levi’s compass. Erwin gave direction to Levi’s life and suddenly Erwin dies and at the same time the world opens up and Levi starts to realize he’s not as needed anymore and his role as humanity’s strongest is gone.

So obviously all those events at once would leave Levi in some sort of limbo right. And that’s why he gets this feeling that he has reached his ‘yosei’ years and he’s also dangling in some limbo

I can think of two more specific reasons he ends up ‘dangling.’ 

First reason is: Killing the beast titan, the last order Erwin gave Levi wasn’t so easy to do anymore given the political nuances, the environment and of course the fact that the world was already more complicated than killing titans. And to think that Levi makes a promise to do that right before Erwin died? 

So I’m thinking the ‘dangling’ refers to Levi grappling with such complexities and nuances while trying to fulfill a goal which would have been so much easier if the basement thing didn’t happen and the world didn’t open up. 

And my second reason is: 

Warning: Before I go to this, I wanna warn you that this is my Levihan stan self reaching for pro-Levihan interpretations so feel free to ignore this if you don’t want crazy Levihan delusional interpretations. 

Anyway, my second explanation which I like to play with and I like to keep close to me, being a Levihan fan is that Hange of all people, was the last veteran stuck to Levi and as we all know, according to Yams old interviews about Hange’s gender...

Hange’s a free soul. She’s like the balloon, the kite that just floats in space and just continues hanging, dangling and flying. And she’s the person who Levi ended up sticking to after Erwin’s death. And since he ended up with such a free sould, he didn’t necessarily find much direction again, the same way he found direction with Erwin. 

Hange didn’t give a straightforward direction for Levi. But Hange provided comfort. 

And I’d just like to introduce a pro-Levihan interpretation this. 

So maybe ‘dangling in space’ and leaving the remaining years of his life like that isn’t such a bad thing? I mean I like to interpret this ‘retirement’ and ‘dangling’ as Levi finally being free of whatever ‘Ackerbond’ or whatever compass or order Erwin has set for him. 

Because Hange went about her position as commander more as a parent to the cadets and more as a comrade to Levi than anything else. And with title of ‘humanity’s strongest soldier’ not so relevant anymore post season 3 with titans becoming a not so big threat compared to the impending war, I think the ‘yosei’ and the ‘dangling’ could be interpreted as freedom for Levi from his role as Erwin’s right hand man and freedom from the burden of being ‘humanity’s strongest.’

And the transition from having to report to Erwin to having to report to Hange, I think this can be interpreted as a breath of fresh air for Levi.

Yosei after all can be interpreted as freedom. When people retire, people are free right? They’re free to try out different things, they’re free to focus on other things. Even if people have to experience the pain of ‘loss’ when losing one position, the remnants of it, the ‘yosei’ isn’t inherently bad although it can be interpreted as that. 

And the crumbs for this? I always believed that Levi generally acted freer under Hange than under Erwin. And I feel like I have created metas about this before about Hange’s leadership style: here and here

Anyway if you got this far, thanks for reading! 

[maxemilianverstappen]

Lol, both the admins are acting like they are using their personal accounts, this is so funny and embarrassing, like what the fuck are you thinking before typing any of that out??

And while there are people who are calling it out, there are also fans who are literally saying it's the admin's job to be uWu, like no honey it's not, their job is to maintain good PR for the team and THEIR drivers, something they have forgotten... I have seen them talk about Seb with Lewis and Mick this season more than I have seen them talk about Seb & Lance, and Lance in general. Like please focus on your drivers, the fans of the team are here for them. And while Merc admin can still get away with the cringe because at least the Mercedes has good results this season so the focus shifts on the on track performance, the AM admin is just making the situation worse for the team... A team everyone expected to be fighting for wins this year, has dropped to 7th in the pecking order, there are no results to show for anything the drivers are doing, and you lit are going around engaging in uWu bestie Sewis nonsense, who is going to take the team seriously? Your PR in a competitive sport is supposed to make you look ambitious, and they are celebrating being overtaken, like I understand a post race congratulatory comment under another team's post, but why are you focussed on another driver's race?

Also funny, that Lewis/Sewis fans are busy defending all the nonsense from yesterday, like besties stop, if they had crashed you lot would be asking for Seb's head, regardless of whether it was his fault or not, you're not fooling anyone.

Motherfuckers flip-flop on Yuki so much, it's disgusting to watch, everytime they have to slander RB, they use Yuki for it, and then when Yuki defended against Lewis at COTA they started attacking him saying he was showing his true colours, because he raced Lewis lmao, and then the same people/accounts went back to give him moral support last week, I mean why are you all so shallow... choose one narrative and run with please

Anon, whoever you are I don't know, but since you have the higher brain power than me for putting what I feel into words, I want you to know that you have an admirer.

Good PR, joking around and having a bit of fun is one thing, blatantly ignoring your other drivers inorder to milk a ship/nonexistent friendship (ahahahaha) by using the social media of a corporation playing with millions is another.

True, some fans like this stuff and I am one of them when it is done in moderation, it is nice, but..... But.... 🙄🙄🙄 What the fuck was this?

Why the fuck are these ppl even racing? To certify they are actually a Merc sidekick? To get discount in the new engines? Do they remember they are talking about a 4 times WDC who used to be a rival to the other driver they are so in love with? Whose fans and British media used to tear him down at every given chance including the said driver himself... LoL, how the turn tables when you stop being a threat and the new spot you find yourself in reduces you to a part of a ship instead of a rival so that PR can milk money 🤑🤑🤑

Also, since when it is okay to make sexual innuendos on official accounts?

I'm a shipper, but pleeeeease.... This kinda shit needs to be kept in fannish spaces not get promoted by official accounts that might draw attention on us. You should see all the replies to the last tweet asking about what a "s*ewis" is and where does it come from 😬

And yes, I would be cringed if it was done on Simi, too... Subtle bromance stuff is nice, but this kind of stuff has its own time and place.