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#i am so evil arent i
mlmfocalette · 7 months
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heizhong
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requested by; anon !
(mod neuvi is specifically tagging @theyoungphoenix for this one)
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rarepair requests are open, spam my inbox :]
flags used;
background left to right: queer, bisexual
zhongli; genderfluid, bigender, transfeminine
heizou; aporagender
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faaun · 5 months
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last night i got home kind of tipsy and very much in tears and my mother told me the force you exert to keep someone in your life is proportional to the force with which they will leave your life. if you have to fight tooth and claw to keep them, their leaving will be just as hard, just as harsh, and just as definite.
#she said it like a law. its just momentum.#also she told me to get a therapist and start archery ASAP bc i need to get it together#and also she said even granting that this person u were in love w was So Special . as in hot motorcycle-riding iranian masc lesbian in ldn#they arent the only one on earth and that once i start my proper adult life outside of studies etc etc i will probably no longer live in th#UK. she said most non straight iranians u would like have left the country anyway . where do you think they went? theyre out there#and also she asked me to imagine how many hot gay iranians there may be in italy or amsterdam or smth and i was like ok points 😭 maybe#ur right. anyway i was having a feeling of dread bc crying into the arms of ur strict asian mother while buzzed usually results in#death chaos destruction etc in the next few days but actually i think maybe she has genuinely changed as a person and the fear is#unwarranted#anyway i need to eat breakfast and study w the date person i met yesterday#they are so nice ??? genuinely so so sweet i dont feel attracted to them at all omg i genuinely think i have a thing for hot evil ppl 😭#but we could b besties . theyre a lot more romantic than the ex situationship person too like generally . ugh they should be perfect but#alas it appears i am shallow as fuck or potentially a lesbian actually#OH THEY MIGHT ALSO BE POTENTIALLY A LESBIAN BTW#i think i just tend to not date cis ppl entirely by accident#....feel free to rb if u want btw sorry for the rant
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ganondoodle · 11 days
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(probably very problematic opinion on the english voices in totk
watching skittybitty's totk video for the 27864269th time and i STILL get jumpscared by the english voices, anytime anyone ever opens their mouth it just sounds like they took some random person they caught on the street to monotonely voice a line in one take, and sometimes one of them rly likes to pretend their are doing a voice but it just sounds like a little child imitating their granpa or someone trying to overact to their toddler, its especially sad for ganondorf, its hard to hear any of them for me but gan i start laughing and have to skip it bc thats NOT gan, thats me doing my worst evil guy impression, or zelda, thats not zelda talkign thats me doing a sarcastic uwu lil princess voice
to be clear, i have nothing agaisnt the people voicing them and i know people like the guy doing the gan voice but none of them fit at all and none feel like they are actually coming from the character, much more so you muting your TV and talking over the people on screen making shit up as you go for shits and giggles, i dont know what happened here, why are these SO bad, i listen to plenty of movies and games and whatnot in english and i only ever had a similar problem with the english voices of ghibli movies -though that could be bc im jsut so used to the german ones, which are fantastic- or maybe an extremely old game that was just weird on its own even
i take no pride in hating the voices, espeically knowing how badly voice actors are treated and often replaced with some shitty celebtrity, but i truly do not get why they are so bad, the voices themselves never rly fit, and even if it would be passable, they are all speaking in a way where it either sounds like they are some guy sitting next to you reading a line for the first time or overemphasizing so much it sounds like someone playing pretend with toddlers
and its not in an indie game where the devs did their best to voice people themselves bc they didnt have the money, this is nintendo, how is it still like that, bc even the ones returning from botw, are STILL just as bad, i dont know if that can all be the fault of the actors, its so weird to me
and it makes it even harder for me to believe that people take this game as seriously as they do or as emotionally affecting bc a, if not THE, biggest part of the fandom is made up of english speakers who would probably never even think about trying a different language
...anyway, i needed to say that at some point)
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dykedvonte · 6 months
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An independent Courier would actually hate being in charge or enforcing standards in New Vegas. At least in my mind.
They made Vegas independent but I feel like that playthrough/style so clearly makes it apparent it isn't for them. They are making Vegas a place where people can live freely, like how House genuinely didn't care what people did but without the behind-the-scenes Big Brother surveillance he did. Having every family, faction, and other influence group or person comes to them about alliances or rules would be draining, and boring, one note.
In an independent Vegas, The Courier is also Independent. They like getting rid of lines and borders that impede freedom, they like to help give people the tool but I don't believe they want to be the one to shape it.
#a lot of this is like how ncr started but then lost its way#the courier would like a democracy but like one that is truly run by the people like if public votes or letting people split off and embrac#their traditions instead of a universal standard like house changing the tribes caesar wiping out so many cultures and the ncr whole thing#with their money being worthless in territories they have not taken control over cause people dont want to#the courier doesnt want to be house 2.0 and i see that so often in peoples interpretations of that ending and I just dont think its the cas#like theyd stay to help it stablize for a but ultimately i think theyd leave to clean up any loose ends or just travel the mojave like#a lot of the dialouge good or evil is very much like the courier doesnt want the responsiblity to be placed on them rather they choose what#they want to take on that is not presented in sort of a scenerio where they losely rule NV cause everyone else would go to them even if the#say they arent in charge#i at least for the follower quest tell them their choices are theirs and no one elses so i see that as their outlook so im biased#cause im also good karma just for how nice I am and I like doing crazy adventure shit and its actually hard to have fun when everyone hates#you for being legion#anyway make of this what you will#fallout#fallout new vegas#fnv#the courier#courier six#courier fnv#the strip fnv#robert edwin house#caesar’s legion#new california republic#independent vegas
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bl00dw1tch · 9 months
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Watching someone play afop and im so. Oh my god. Oh my GOD. It's literally just a fucking showcase of all the Exact type of shit that has been happening to indigenous people and people of color have been dealing with for Centuries at the hands of white supremacy and imperialism. Like its literally just Showing all that Shit from the perspective of a Na'vi in universe. So it "demonizes" the RDA accordingly. And uet so many fucking reviewers are joshing on it and calling it Boring and Slow and Uninspired and that it makes human's 'cartoonishly evil' LIKE YOU PEOPLE HAVENT LOOKED AT A SINGLE FUCKING CURRENT EVENT IN YOUR LIVES. Oh my god im so mad at all these fucking reviewers now. The fucking AUDACITY to look at something this fucking Honest about the cruelty humans are capable of, while living during the fucking day and age with all this Knowledge we have at our fingertips -- the fucking audacity to look at this game and what the character goes through and not being able to muster up ANY other fucking emotion besides "ubisoft never was great at story anyway so idc lol" fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. Like actually. You can't even fucking ATTEMPT to connect to this story emotionally? Not even a fucking Smidge? Jesus fucking christ people need everything to be spoon fed to them these days. God forbid a piece of media actually ask you to meet it in the middle for once.
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bunnihearted · 1 day
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🐰🕸🌙
#i have so many behaviours and fears and#no emotional regulation and issues and disorders and fearrrrr#and i do not know how to explain it so that ppl who dont relate can possibly understand it#but it is like i am trapped in a nightmare dimension where everything is always bad#my brain isnt even wired to see anything in a positive or hopeful light#which is how humans are wired typically to ensure survival lol#in swedish avpd is also called anxious personality disorder#which can clue in on the fact that if you know what a personality disorder is#(your brain hasnt developed normally but in a disordered way. often bc of trauma etc)#my brain is wired to be anxious abt wverything all the time#so i always naturally see everything in a negative and dark and bad and horrible light#which is fucking terrible. it makes life exhausting and like a constant fight#other ppl dont get that bc their brains arent wired to have this horrible outlook on EVERYTHING#so thid just gives me extreme trust issues and my brain always fights to make sense of things#bc it cannot do so in a rational manner#and basically i just feel so ashamed when i think of how like... overly emotional and fearful i am#as soon as anything happens im like wow this person literally wants to kill me bc humans are evil#which i know intellectually isnt tru bc if it was i'd be dead by now 💀#ig i just feel so lucky that one person still is my friend after almost 2yrs now#despite my whateverthefuck moments when idek what im saying..#'working thru my emotions' in a way that doesnt make sense#esp when hes seen some of what i've written and im like NOOO i was spiraling when i said that i dont mean that i think most likely i dont#anyway.. feeling grateful 🙏 i wish i was normal#or at least had th ability to have connections and relationships most ppl w mental illness are still capable of having#avpd is fucked upppp it is such a weird mental disability.... 0-o#bc of my fear i also struggle with relaxing into it bc im like no imma fuck it up soon or no hes gonna leave me soon bc i suck and dont#deserve having him in my life at all. i really wish my brain wasnt wired to be terrified like i hate my brain and myself like why cant#i just be normal!!!!!! ☹️ i am thankful for every moment still.
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istherewifiinhell · 6 days
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reading a single tf comedy fic will confront u with the authors viewpoints on: heads of military, heads of state, stance on revolutionary politics, reporters, freedom of the press, cops, class stigmatized labour, civilian liberties, criminalized... miscreantism? blows big breath kicks can down the road... minorities?
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blorbologist · 4 months
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yall are mad elon musk is supposedly autistic bc it means tht u too can be autistic n a not nice person/do unkind things (to put it mildly) which has the potential to ruin ur im autistic n inherently blameless everything i do is bc of the autism n therefore i am exempt from negative judgment n if u do attempt to call me out it's abelism n death to u UwU card
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djsadbean · 1 year
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art trades with the amazing @clarissasbakery and the wonderful @pupcheerioss !! (becky n frens for clarissa and chuckie baby and prince bred for pup!) as well as random doodles i forgot to post ^^
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todayisafridaynight · 4 months
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Religiously i think about one of my twitter mutuals pointing out how aoki's design is subtly asymmetrical while ichiban is more symmetrical
when i think of it, masato's design is fairly symmetrical as well isnt it.....
#snap chats#please no one look at me i shouldve gotten my drink two hours ago#what does it mean .....#i swear my mutual had like. galaxy brain when it came to aoki i swear to god in heaven no one got him like they did#they were also the one that did that glass analysis post i shared some months back#moving on tho...#i guess there is the stipulation that because masato's shirt buttons dont match his shirt like ichi's does the buttons at the top mess it u#but aside from that everything else is pretty even: he has a pair of bangs and while his shirt is patterned its not like. grossly so#the pattern doesnt go particularly one way or the other its obviously just a pattern and the colors arent offensively against each other#on the flipside aoki's hair is more obviously swept to one side and leaving the other side bare#not to mention his tie in general. the 'bulb' part and 'tongue' part even go against each other#as if a diagonal striped tie itself wouldnt be askew to his overall look#again these are very small things to notice but im glad theyre small- it makes sense for a politician's to be subtly incongruent#the glasses are super important to aoki's design too but that's covered int eh glass analysis and isnt about symmetry#idk ... maybe im just waffling on about nothing.. either way i love those posts by my mutual#OH i think of this because i am once again thinking of updating how i draw masato#cause i like the blazer and necklace i gave him BECAUSE of that asymmetry#but now i wonder if thatd go against his design ... so i have to ask 'what underlying message is there for masato to be symmetrical'#i guess- even if he is a creep and a weirdo- he's not. evil? idk ... he hasn't gone totally off the deep end compared to aoki#like compared to what he'd go on to do as aoki he's pretty normal as masato#he is just a guy. who DOES have ties to the yakuza but this aint about that LKCJALKREJVA#he doesnt even like them he just uses them for his convenience 😔#idk. ill prob still draw masato the same tbh LMAO if anything ill just crop his blazer but keep it symmetrical#i guess i cant wonder this TOO much when i give him mismatching rings 💀💀 ill just have fun ig fjaelrvekljv#at the end of the day its never that serious ...... i just gotta draw what makes me chortle. esp for a chara three people care about VJLAEK#but i will wonder ..... <- it is not that deep#ima go bye
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eldritchqueerture · 8 months
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replaying bg3 and,,.... i am not immune to the emperor
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no by all means keep judging cartoon villains solely by if they get redeemed in the end. i know some of us like to talk about other stuff like characterization or entertainment value or nuance as something that makes a good villain. but i think the only thing that actually matters is if the villain ends up on good terms with the protagonist at the end. all the Good TM cartoons with Good TM creators make the villains die a Horrible Death for being Abusers or whatever. and all the Bad TM cartoons with Bad TM creators Forgive Fascists by not making them get publicly executed by the 14 year old protagonist in front of the 8 year old target demographic.
i mean im so glad that more cartoons nowadays are subverting the psyop to support fascists that a few queer artists and queer shows definitely invented in 2017. there are so many popular cartoons doing that. it's almost like there are more properties killing their villains now and in the past than there ever were of properties that didn't do this. and it's almost like whether the villain gets redeemed at the end is more about the context of the story and its themes leading up to a narratively sound decision.
but you know. a few queer shows made by trans ppl were popular and they didn't kill their fascists and even had the gall to make them nuanced while also looking into the harm they did. guess it's trendy to forgive your abusers now because like two cartoons said so. out of like 40 other similarly high profile works that just straight up hit their villains with a bus or smth. by all means. keep heaping praise onto that one show about how they "let their villain just be evil" instead of talking about anything more interesting. that's so subversive, everyone's doing it!
#shut up pandora#check off my 'monthly rant about the treatment of the creators of steven universe and she ra'#this is because of the 'praise' ive been seeing for belos btw#yes i love his panache i love how much he fucks up everything and i love how hes beyond redemption#thats not because he was Born Evil and has always Been Evil???#ppl who show baby belos going out of his way to make calebs life a living hell and evelyn Rescuing this poor blond boy from his Evil Brothe#i am sending so many bad vibes at you rn#he isnt a good villain bc dana terrace decided to be 'subversive' by not redeeming belos#JUST being subversive while writing the story doesnt mean you make a good story being subversive =/= being good#hes a good villain because while his decisions are dogshit we can understand why he made them on an emotional level#and since gravity falls seems to be the golden standard for modern cartoons i guess#bill cipher also isnt a good villain bc hes evil and they killed him#bill is a good villain bc hes entertaining in the threat he poses#what makes a character a good villain is about stuff they do while theyre being a villain#dont just sum it up with 'duhhh they killed them at the end so its good' thats entirely dependent on the story!#anyway this is specifically about modern western cartoon fandoms#if youre telling me to watch shows that arent modern western cartoons or like. read a book then know that i do that already#this stuff isnt as big of a discourse topic in those circles but im talking about this specific circle rn
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whumpshaped · 1 year
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cant stop thinking abt that reply to bram's post abt the abusive cluster b parents so just know if u were abused like that, first of all, samesies and it gave me cluster b pds as a result, second of all, i promise no one whos calling for understanding of cluster b ppl is invalidating ur experiences. if u feel like they ARE, i sincerely hope u realise u dont have to have a medical explanation for why others suck. if ur parents sucked, u can just say that, and its freeing, and focusing on behavioural patterns instead of diagnoses (which u most likely dont have access to when it comes to strangers) will allow u to weed out actual bad ppl and keep urself safe(er)
#i understand its easy and comfortable to latch onto labels especially when it comes to parents#i did it#then i was diagnosed w the same shit#that was my turning point i think#when i realised we have the same shit and yet i am actively working very hard to be kind and compassionate#i dont go out of my way to be mean#at some point u have to realise that some ppl r just evil and mean spirited#and pds arent indicative of how self aware or kind or polite or compassionate someone is#i'd argue most of us put in SO much work to know ourselves and our potentially harmful behavioural patterns#way more than a neurotypical who never bothered to look inward for even a second#'these stereotypes dont come from nothing'#no shit! my dad called me both borderline and narcissist as insults AND I TURNED OUT TO HAVE BOTH#but let me tell u smth#most of my symptoms? are fucking survival mechanisms i learned as a child to avoid getting hurt. because thats what the brain does.#u know what else didnt come from thin air? sayings like hurt people hurt people#plus my victim complex allows me to write banger complaint letters now so theres that#look around u and be very comfortable w the fact that ur probably surrounded by a bunch of cluster b ppl that u adore#bc we're just ppl too#and ur doing urself a disservice trying to spot us#cluster b ppl can be evil ppl just as neurotypicals but they can also be ur friend who struggles w insecurities and is a huge ppl pleaser#bc they read the ableist posts too and they know everyone in the mainstream world thinks theyre evil#and when if u told them 'well my cluster b parents were abusive' in a less accusatory tone#maybe theyd look u in the eye w compassion and say 'yea i know how that feels and im here for u'
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strangeblueanimal · 2 months
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I don't think ill be saying anything new with this, and I'm not trying to I just want to air a thought, but I do think that one of the biggest if not the main misconception that abled people have around accessibility/adjustable settings in gaming is that they are there to make the game easier for disabled people. The point of an accessibility setting is to make it so that everyone can play at the same level. It might make the game easier for someone who doesn't need it normally, but for the people who it is there for it makes the game playable, usually at the same level as an abled player who is not using any alternative settings. If a game relies heavily on audio, it isn't going to be easier to play just because you have subtitles and indicators for HOH/deaf players, it's going to make it, so those players can enjoy the game at the same level as non HOH/deaf players. When I turn on subtitles in, say, minecraft, it's not because I'm expecting the game to be easier, it's because I want to be able to play the game at a normal difficulty level.
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varricscrossbowbianca · 2 months
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just wanted to look for a funny jill valentine pic and then see some sort of mod that '' softens '' her features and makes her look '' less manly '' (term used on the site) and imma be honest, i am not surprised women aren't satisfied with their looks when people even edit video game characters beyond recognition
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