#i at least need a moment bc jfc

[thecherrygod]

out of everything that i thought could be triggering for me when reading, and that i usually ignore those and tho i may feel a bit bad its never enough, i never thought reading a fanfic that sorta articulates a bit more than others about strains and dislocations and similar wounds would be the kind of thing that would make me at least take a step back from reading bc it managed to lower my blood pressure

[piplupod]

life is actually so easily wonderful if the abusers are not around. heaven on earth. i can breathe for a few days <3 i've already gotten so much done and its only been 24 hours. i have 48 more hours of this relief to savour.

[larchelle-ffxiv]

more 7.0 spoilers bc I was DRAINED after finishing msq yesterday. also a lot of headcanon stuff for my skrungly bc I have THOUGHTS AND THINGS I GOTTA WRITE

- so this expac hurt obviously, but MAN I didn't expect it to touch on grief and loss, let alone HOW it approached that. where shb and ew had similar themes going on of "regardless of the loss and sorrow we are faced with, we will learn to press on and continue", that sorta thing. dt is here like "hiya gamers are you ready to learn how to ACTUALLY LET GO OF THAT LOSS? HOW TO ACTUALLY SIT DOWN AND PROCESS THAT GRIEF? WELL YOURE GONNA LEARN TODAY"

- everything about alexandria/LM BROKE ME. a really powerful message on how impressive and impactful technology can be, but also how quickly it can be weaponized and abused. and the shit about erasing the memories of those who die just being commonplace???? the turali people who were in the dome, found themselves losing THIRTY YEARS OF THEIR LIVES, their loved ones back in tural thinking they were dead or missing and they were RIGHT THERE, some in that time REALLY DYING/BECOMING ENDLESS? good GOD that fucked me up. not to mention EVERYTHING ABOUT SPHENE. she didn't ASK to be made into an endless, she had goddamn levin sickness and WENT TO TRY TO HELP HER PEOPLE ANYWAY, preservation forced her new self to put the people's needs and desires so much in the forefront of her priorities that she became a TERRIBLY FLAWED leader, but was so blind to her faults bc she "did everything for her people's wellbeing". she's a heartbreaking character for sure, ugh

- this expac gave us SO MUCH GOD DAMN WORLD BUILDING. WOW. ive never done every single yellow quest in an expac, but I've made it a huge goal of mine to do it here esp throughout the expac, and it's been SO WORTH IT. the further extended lore, the foreshadowing/clarification and further explanation for things, it was all terrific jfc. now I wanna go back and do yellow quests for all the expansions bc bro. this shit is just SITTING HERE??? FOR FREE????

- I've finally figured out why people (aka capital g Gamers on reddit/ff forums/twitter) don't like this expac. it's absolutely feeling like what stb has become to a lot of the player base. it features a lot of POC, has female leads, and we as the WoL aren't The Main Character. at least in stb we had more of a presence as WoL, but here one title doesn't matter anywhere near as much in comparison. also, with a lot of the dialogue/plot stuff/music (esp the songs with lyrics) , this expac is kingdom hearts coded AS FUCK. it's goofier than EW/SHB, it has more corny stuff going on, wuk lamat is LITERALLY female furry sora. they're mad that we aren't the Main Character, they're mad it isn't as edgy/horrific/depressing, they """can't relate""" bc everything is so diverse and full of hispanic culture, and they're fucking FIXATED on wuk lamat's VA being a trans woman. jfc I'm so glad I'm not on Twitter and I don't look at the ffxiv reddit, bc the shit I've heard has been pathetic and obnoxious lmao. like, try to have ACTUAL CONSTRUCTIVE THINGS to complain about.

also, I hold the unpopular opinion of HW being my least favorite experience in game. the beginning of it is SO GODDAMN SLOW AND PAINFUL, and i honestly got soooo bored of seeing the same looking white elezens/hearing about the Catholic Control and Drama. i also really dont like the dungeons or trials (minus the last msq one, still great thematically), and playing 50-60 as a scholar was NOT fun lmao. hilda, the OST, and everything relating to the DRK quest line are basically all that kept me going through that expac.

But I won't go being a goddamn asshole about it to people who like it!!! let people ENJOY things jfc lmao, also recognize that every single expac takes time to hit the Big Frickin Moments (aka level x7 most of the time), and not everything needs to involve huge amounts of massacre and horror!!! even then, did yall NOT pay attention to what happened with solution 9/living memory??? where goddamn SOULS ARE A CURRENCY???? how about the mamool ja SACRIFICING INFANTS EN MASSE in hopes of a two headed son being born, and putting all their faith in that son to get them out from the deepest depths of the jungle???? or the war between them and the x'braal???? is2g the lack of media literacy/reading comprehension amongst gamers, I'm so TIRED

RANT OVER UGH ANYWAYYYYY

- chelle is absolutely gonna find her adoptive mom satsuki in the canal town section of living memory. hands fucking down. ive had this idea for y e a r s now of them having a chance meeting in the aetherial sea as she "died" after fighting zenos in UT, but it fits SO WELL to have it take place in LM of all places. satsuki spending YEARS trying to find her lil meow meow again, hearing tales of what sounded like her girl, but how in the hell did the shy, sickly child she once cared for get strong enough to become a whole ass HERO??? and just always ending up in each place she was too long after she had left, bc she was only able to work off of hearsay ;A;

me and my partner have it where satsuki's wife and her always hoped to visit tural together, and she gave her wife notes on how she needed to help satsuki find this young miqo girl she adopted after her wife went to travel again. as luck would have it, enna was in tural waiting for satsuki to join her there (satsuki and her were doing research based on chelle's appearance and accent and essentially crossed every continent off the list over time. esp Ala mhigo bc, even tho that's where satsuki found her, enna knew she couldn't be born there based on she herself being Ala mhigan). enna becomes chelle's viper mentor and says that she knows her mother, but doesn't elaborate much until they get to know each other better.

so them finding her in LM? still running a tavern and keeping people happy with booze and food and sea shanties all sung off key? oh it's gonna DESTROY THEM, but be such an important step in getting closure/learning to face grief head on/letting her go without regrets. and they're gonna be a family and UGH I CANT WAIT TO WRITE IT

- fellow wolgrahas. fellow wolgrahas how the FUCK WE DOIN BOYS, LIKE?????? they really gave us a main story quest to help an endless find an engagement ring to propose to his beloved, AND THEN IMMEDIATELY AFTER. put us on a gondola ride with g'raha so he could have a """heartfelt conversation"""with us AGAIN???? BRO!!!!!!

chelle and him are absolutely gonna finally address their relationship again, where g'raha has been struggling to figure out whether or not to propose lol. he really wants to do something to symbolize them being together for life, but knows that she isn't the kind of person who likes just staying in one place/being tied down and isn't really about traditional. well anything lol. he's gonna stumble his way through all those thoughts before she gently cuts him off, reassuring him that she understands and appreciates how thoughtful he's been about the whole thing. reflect a bit on what they've seen and been through, both in the first and since he returned to the source, and with this couple and them talking about "living without regrets/living life to the fullest"(gotta reread the dialogue for when I write this lol). and thought stuffy fancy shindigs aren't her thing, she knows damn well that he's someone she wants to see the world and share her life with.

and SHE'S the one who gets down on one knee and asks him to elope with her/be life partners. the bitch PROPOSES HERSELF, but is too stupid to realize/still too scared of vulnerability to actually call it what it is. and he's about to burst into tears and before he can say anything the gondola knocks into the pier at the end of the ride, as chelle's kissing his hand, causing her to nearly headbutt the poor boy in the crotch and both of them panicked going "OH GODS ARE YOU OKAY, DID YOU GET HURT, SORRY". and they stare at one another before chelle awkwardly laughs going "i guess this would be a bad time to make a joke about "giving you head", huh" or something else cringe like that, to which they both start laughing, holding hands as they step back onto the pier before those laughs are joined with joy filled crying as they hold each other as tight as gd possible and jfeivoeoivoeor

I'm sure I'll have more to say and reflect on but this is already super long and I just. wow. what a goddamn incredible experience dawntrail has been.

[imustbenuts]

ouggh could you please elaborate on your criticism of brave Alfonse ...I like hearing your thoughts (⁠人⁠ ⁠•͈⁠ᴗ⁠•͈⁠)

alright. so this is just a messy sloppy thought vomit essay again im so sorry in advance.

and i am salty overall about this.

in 2 words: traditional conservatism

in many many words:

ALFONSE. OPEN UP YOUR WAY CARVE YOUR OWN PATH WHAT ARE YOU DOINGGGGGG IF YOU ARE SAYING HE HAS POTENTIAL JUST. FUCKING. COMMIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YOU COWARDS! HAAAAAAAAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHG learn from your dad's ruling policy yes but don't become your dad and carve for the affection you cannot have jfc

IN MORE WORDS

gustav is. objectively speaking, not a good father in the emotional growth department. I've mentioned and maintained by him looking like an Asian tiger parent from my pov. even if he does lay out proper foundations and maybe good hc adjacent policy for country ruling, his approach of parenting is questionable at best.

I get him operating under pressure and sickness with a limited time left to raise his son in a manner befitting of the throne but like. All sink and no swim? No proper explicit guidance? You can't just be "I want my child to meet expectations and dispense no love", that's just straight up neglect my guy. hes very much the 2 faced proud big important parent person.

realistic, but yuck.

i dont think they even have a father son moment probably ever. Henriette and Gustav have a more functional relationship bc they actually dated and had proper human interaction, but it's likely given cultural asian and high expectations context irl, his kids were treated more like objects and successors. Despite everything he might have felt and expressed behind the scenes. again, the affection is not expressed and conveyed directly enough to his kids, and alfonse being his successor means. alfonse has major daddy issues and anxiety about succeeding the throne.

So now, brave alfonse, having lost this dad and understandably craving for fatherly affection and going through it in the plot, is. you know. in the process of redefining himself. arguably is always, but now, its either he's the successor of, King Gustav the Great II or The Next King of Askr. his role as with many many other of his type are to be a signifier of a new era. thats the whole point of successors!

hes even all "ILL OPEN THE WAY". implying that something before wasnt working out and a new path must be blasted open for a better future. thats the whole theme.

But the effect of Alfonse donning his fathers armor in this case is not respect, it reeks of insecurity! again, does alfonse know his father as Gustav The Person to a reasonable degreee? if by that we mean a neglecful parent but a decent king, okay. but why is there a need to repeat this cycle by wearing from head to toe, from body language to skill 1:1 of his dad. howis this a good thing...

dude. what the hell is intsys doing. do i need to call their parents or what the hell is this conservative traditional filial pathetic nonsense. what the hell happened to all of the other fire emblems who are 5 steps more progressive than this

(granted i do find FE to be very conservative on the whole now that ive stewed in the pot of it all but thats a me thing. it could also be dependant on the writer but idk them well enough to know who does what)

and heres my ideal fucking scenario, right. not very hard. id argue just picking up gustav's mantle OR axe and then working it into a new outfit that is explicit alfonse's would be miles better and what i would want. a signifier that alfonse the character knows himself and wants to walk his own path while honoring the good parts of gustav and discarding the bad.

not this. reanimation method of almost wanting to wear his fathers' skin. as if he cant move on and stand on his feet. as if hes unsure. as if they dont want him to commit (at least not yet bc we gonna milk FEH for as much as we can). despite. all the things that have been happening.

instead of rolling with the punches the armor feels like him not doing that. it might have been an easy alt to decide on, but character wise, i dislike it a lot.

[vole-mon-amour]

3x11, part 2, RJK edition.

oh my god, just make out already, you two. Jamie is so fucking sad, who fucking hurt him, I wanna hurt them back.

Jamie is on the verge of tears, can't Roy fucking see it??? LOOK INTO HIS EYES AND SEE IT.

That is probably the most mature and concerned reaction I've ever seen from Roy towards Jamie. Like when he hugged him in s2, it was great. But here he's actually trying to TALK about it. He's genuinely concerned and interested in what's going on.

EMMY WINNER PHIL DUNSTER WHEN?????? Jfc. Just hug the boy, Roy.

;_____; Sharing trauma aka I've been thrown into Sunflowers and Amsterdam again. BEST FRIENDS.

Ok. This is ok. I'm okay. There was a glimpse where the kiss could've happened and Jamie could've continued wailing and it would WORK. Roy wouldn't even say a thing bc Jamie is a mess and it might now mean anything, and if it did, they can talk about it later.

Anyway. Jamie going in for a hug FIRST bc he trust Roy and he feels safe around him and he feels okay about physical intimacy and being vulnerable with him now. I wanted my hug & I guess this is the closest I can get to that one in 2x06. And with Jamie crying again. Ohhh my god.

The poor boy needs a vacation with both Roy and Keeley (and a lot of sex and love from them). I'd say RoyJamie only, but it's more likely at this point that ot3 happens instead of otp.

Well, it's close to Will walking in on Roy and Jamie kissing. Almost.

I'm fucking staying here. I don't need anyone else. I'm staying here and going down with this ship. Jamie full on can do whatever he wants at this moment & Roy would probably allow him. The hands interlinked on Roy's back, Jamie's head going from Roy's shoulder into the crook of Roy's neck. They really are best friends. Jamie feels so comfortable and safe with him. Putty in his hands, huh?

And I can't fucking keep quiet about Phil pulling this off. Like... MY GOODNESS, GIVE HIM ALL THE FUCKING AWARDS. It makes me sad but at the same time I can't stop laughing, and I'm sure this was the intention. Bc this dramatic wailing is truly something.

At the same time, "I can't sleep, and I can't eat" is a serious sign of depression or at least a serious burnout. Get Jamie a therapist and some quality time break from all the stress.

"Jamie is a mess & I gotta help him."

Keeley is so excited she gets to help Roy with Jamie. This is very ot3 of you. I gotta say though, Roy has to learn how to talk and communicate. It's all fun and all, the idea of when there's a miscommunication or Roy unable to go to emotional depths, but it's really important. In the previous ep he watched Jamie and came up with the right words for Keeley. In here he went to Keeley so she could help him with Jamie. I see a pattern, but I'd love Roy to act on it. Saw Keeley maybe, came up with the right words, knew how to act with Jamie, went back to help.

But then I expect both of them to go back to Jamie and help, so also very ot3 of them.

Jamie and his rings. Jamie being so many fans fav player. Jesus, I love this kid so. fucking. much. Get him into therapy again, please.

"How's he doing?" "Fucking hell." "I'll talk to him."

For a show that gives so many queer references, it would be weird if they were queerbaiting us tbh. It's possible, but it's still weird, especially with so many queer characters.

For the reference.

IF NOT OT3, THEN WHY THIS. They're gonna drive me insane.

[andthebubbles]

okay at least this ep doesn't have anthony in it so hopefully i'm not taking like 3h to watch it

3x08

mmm delicious. i love a desperate, alone cressida making bad decisions. what if there's an AU where she's a serial killer? WHAT IF SHE HAD TO RUN AWAY IN S1 AND SHE MET ANTHONY WHO HAD ALSO RUN AWAY BECAUSE MAYBE HE KILLED (OR THOUGHT HE KILLED) SIMON

LMAO I FELT THIS SO HARD

SKFJGNFDKGNJKG

what the fuck?

ehe this is somewhat similar to the speech anthony gave to daphne in 1x04 "it is more than just your honour at stake, it is your sisters' too; the entire family name. it has been decided" (eeee i went and double checked it and i only missed a lil bit; also anthony is so pretty there halp)

HAHAHAA

why the FUCK is colin making this all about himself? no one replied to him while he was travelling? wellllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll didn't he choose to travel?

shut up colin, you have no idea what cressida is going through

SAME, GIRL

cress why don't you just explain your situation and ask for money....... or maybe she wouldn't do that haha... aahfdkjgdkjg fuck

colin. shut the FUCK up

cress kinda needs an advisor in this lol i feel like she's showing her hand too much. but then, she's like, idk, 20?

uh, isn't colin also without a title?

CUNT

heyyy they playing the duel music :3

so... does eloise not remember that cressida's father is a bitch..... ohhh well i guess she doesn't know the details about sending cress off to wales..................

why did it sound like the drink's already hit violet skjfngfkgjgk

CACKLE

but violet was like. a kid then. lmfao

JKDNGKFGJ AND THE BIT AFTER SKJFGKG dying

heh benedict's having a good time

that bit of colin sitting up on the settee is the best he's looked all season (25:15:ish)

why did this man wink at portia

SKDFJNKFGJN why is this so funny

ohhh to be an actor like polly walker.....

🥺

i love this convo actually

oh yeah you two are REALLY alike, i've been calling this since like s1

A Thousand Cuts has a really good anthony and penelope chapter. and ... was it also that fic that had a really good anthony and fran chapter, or is that another fic...? "but franny, it is so far." maybe it was.

yeah it's really OOC that anthony skipped fran's wedding. hmm. but like, i get actor schedules get in the way... idk.

violet's speech to fran is....................................... is it not a bit out of nowhere? or is she just being like this bc she's in the honeymoon stage with marcus lmao

HAHAHAHAHAA JFC THE PRIEST FUCKING KNOWS HALP

so... is fran's look after the kiss like... ....... oh whatever

ehehe (also the moment before with b&e but that's already been giffed so i've already seen it)

benedict~

lmao

hey, the piece fran and violet are playing on the piano, isn't that mozart, one of the sonatas, 2nd mvt, but it's a little bit off, and ALSO in the wrong key... aah ... it's in F major... and in the show it's in E major........... anyway i'm not sure if it is that piece because the notes are off a bit. maybe they did that deliberately. idk

now to try find which sonata it is lmao, classical music is so hard to google

oh okay. k330. in the end i just googled the numbers i had played before lmfao. but yeah, in the show it's not exactly that. if anything it feels inspired by that.

it could be another piece entirely though, just that it has similarities to k330 2nd mvt. anyway

MAYBE THAT HE DOESN'T FEEL GOOD ENOUGH. HMMM SEEMS TO RUN IN THE FAMILY

IS THIS WHERE HE RUNS AWAY

yeah he but-ed XD

HE WANTS TO MEET MORE MEN

what if they genderswap sophie skjfng????

awww

haha skjfngkjdfng he went straight from the bed to the swings!

awww this season really made me like portia

lmfao finch's sneeze

okay so i guess pen prepared that speech lmao and forewarned some people. interesting lighting they put on her btw. and yeah i do think she got off a bit lightly, but honestly if they were to do it ... probably closer to honestly, it might've been quite harsh. but who knows. anyway

gosh i love portia

:3

awwww

awwww colin finally got off his high horse. yay. your wife is awesome. you should be pleased, nitwit :3

lmaoooo eloise inviting herself to scotland KSJDNKJFGNK

SKJFNGKJGN

okay, can benedict, eloise and francesca all be queer

i want them to genderswap sophie!!!! but i guess they won't. i guess.

eloise and michaela are holding hands!!

okay so it was only towards the end of ep 8 when it finally felt like bridgerton again. minus the costumes. the first half of ep 8 felt like... wildly off the pace.

imo they didn't need to do cressida THAT dirty.

anyway i'll save this stuff for a ep 5-8 round-up post

[omoghouls]

I don’t love bathroom denial, I do love someone choosing not to go to the bathroom because of a reason they made up.

Izzy’s got it into his head that Stede wouldn’t want him using the captains’ washroom or chamber pot, so he holds. He also wasn’t dismissed from their cabin so he’s stuck. He spends too long pacing around the room, hoping one of them comes back but they don’t and he ends up pissing himself and making a puddle on the floor and he has to wait with it until he’s excused.

Omg how does it feel being a genius????

Y e s omfg- he tells himself this is a captain's quarters, and, even if he thinks Stede is some pandy-dandy of a pirate, Stede is still a captain, so,,,he has to give an ounce of respect to the man

He's practically grinding against his gloved hand, trying SO hard to hold it- he's a grown man, he should be able to hold it until one of the capitans return. But, he had drank quite a bit today, and it's all settled nicely in his bladder. Leaving Izzy to be crossing his legs and inevitably,,,loose control alllll over the pretty floor beneath him.

And, since leather doesn't absorb, the puddle is quite large- and Izzy has to stand there, waiting to be dismissed

Omfg the moment Stede and Ed come back (bc ofc it's both) they just freeze in the doorway as they see the swordsman standing in the middle of the room like a dog who knows they've done naughty-

Ed ofc isn't really phased bc/ he knows Izzy and is just like, "Jfc Iz, you're dismissed, go clean yourself up."

And Stede is standing there like "???? Why didn't he go to the latrines??"

Ed explains that Izzy tends to take his role as first mate quite seriously, by the books and, those books have given him the mindset that he needs dismissal, even if he's got to piss-

Stede shakes his head, "Well, at least it wasn't on the carpet."

[dreameasel]

I feel like right now it's hard to be excited for things to come. But, look back to a year ago; There were people who didn't exist in your life but now mean the world to you. And there are people you will feel this way about next year. This applies to simply discovering things you love and are excited about. Listening to new music and falling in love, reading a book that becomes one of your favourites. You will stumble upon things to be excited about and give you joy again. Life will give you that spark when you least expect it. Sometimes, in spite of everything, looking to the little things is helpful. I had a friend tell me that recently, and it really resonated. You deserve the joy you bring others and the spark others see in you. Please be gentle and kind with yourself and don't compare yourself to anyone else. You're where you need to be in the moment. I am cheering you on as you continue on through your journey. Get yourself a treat and relax! Until next Friday! - 💜💜 Victoria

“It has long been an axiom of mine that the little things are infinitely the most important.” ― Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, The Memoirs of Sherlock Holmes

i'm realizing that counting this one i have like 3 of these in my askbox and i have no idea if i should release all of them into the wild or not. i'm full on in the academic pit rn so time is fake and i feel like it's been 3 years and 3 days since i was on. always know tho that i love you, you're so sweet and i'm treating these like letters between loved ones in a ken burns civil war doc bc jfc dude. we out here man....

[ozlices]

really fucking sucks that it does not matter how openly we cry about how fucked up we are after everything this year has put us through, we are just. ignored. like. we're very open about having abandonment issues & a burden complex, but nobody gives a fuck abt ensuring that isn't. you know. constantly fueled in the aftermath of all the shit this year put us through.

we haven't suffered in silence. quite the opposite. but we're literally just. ignored. & left to rot. no matter how transparent we are abt how badly we're doing. & it sucks. like it's getting to a point where we're genuinely starting to get apathetic towards our friends & we don't fucking care to fight it off anymore.

if my friends were posting the kinda shit we do during our meltdowns, id be rushing to call them as soon as i could. maybe im just different. maybe im just a dumbass for caring so goddamn much! cause jfc it clearly isn't mutual no matter what!

how am i supposed to fight off my persecutor telling me nobody fucking loves me bc i don't deserve it when i can beg for somebody to lend their hand to me, & all i get is silence.

we haven't been checked up on. anyone we used to talk to daily has just decided we're too depressing or whatever to be around, i guess. like. idk what anyone wants from us anymore. i really fucking don't. all we want is to have somebody give a shit abt us & fucking MEAN it. actually be there for us. actually take care of us the same way we take care of everybody else.

but nah nah instead we're just. having our complexes fueled. our persecutor's ammo refilled, meanwhile we're left with nothing. absolutely fucking nothing.

the best relationship of our lives couldn't even last longer than a month & no matter what, we can't fight being made to feel like we just weren't worth keeping around.

we've never escaped being "too depressed to handle" as our token in a friend group, but like. idk. maybe if we weren't made to constantly feel so fucking alone & like nobody genuinely gives a shit abt us, we'd be able to At Least cope a bit better.

idek what to do or say anymore. like our persecutor gets on our ass for saying "nobody cares" like "oh well you're just being manipulative & fishing." bitch i GENUINELY fucking feel like nobody fucking cares about me & not a single goddamn person has tried to significantly fight that notion to any genuine degree.

it'll be fought with filler words in the moment, but again. nobody checks on us. nobody just randomly tells us they love us and care about us. nobody does the little things we've always done for our loved ones we know are going through rough times. even if we directly tell people it helps. so, what the fuck else am i sposed to say or think.

im tired of feeling like this. im tired of being lonely, and unloved, and uncared for, and like it's all fucking pointless. im tired.

i just feel like we're just forgotten about until we're needed. but when we are the ones who need someone else to help us? well, we can just fucking rot, then. i guess. we're just an annoying burden who's too depressing to be around. not worth any genuine effort. and we cannot keep fighting that notion when nobody gives a shit to stand with us against it.

[deviantartdramahub]

4 notes

Ugh no, I dislike Marian bc she manipulated my friend Tam. She kept blocking then unblocking him, putting them in some kind of sick cat-and-mouse game. She always tried manipulating him away from me and Club, and her behavior was intolerable. Ik you're all for innocents getting manipulated, but I ain't dealing with it, dear.

3 notes

Honey what's so hard to understand that what was said was an OBVIOUS TYPO? That's why I paid no mind to it at first, BC I USED MY GODDAMN BRAINS! YOU WERE CLEARLY JUST USING IT AS AN OPPORTUNITY TO FURTHER HARASS CLUB! HE HID THE COMMENT BC YOU WERE FALSELY ACCUSING HIM OVER IT! Club isn't a groomer, and the people saying he is are either ableist trolls like you wanting a "good" excuse to harass someone, or they're misinformed people who were manipulated by said trolls. How many times will we have to explain it, smh. I would never support actual groomers (such as you lmao), but Club ISN"T ONE.

2 notes

Uhhh prettyyyy suree Loveless is the one stalking Club, lol. Wouldn't you be as paranoid as he was if you were getting endlessly slandered and harassed like that? Ugh. You do WAY worse to your enemies.

3 notes

Uh okay and you're just as bad as Sam. Only you're a whole group of people doing this shit. So in a way ig you're worse LMAO...also what happened wasn't Club or Tam's fault so quit making it up as it is.

3 notes

No Tam probably just wanted to defend their friend, why do you assume everything is Club's fault? I swear, one day they'll blame him for the birth of Hitler. And you know what's fucked up? Seeing Tam as nothing but a minion bc of his age. Oh and for the record, you DO lash out and attack them. All the damn time lmao. Do I even have to link the examples???

2 notes

Bro stop acting like Club's manipulating me when YOU'RE the ones clearly doing it! And just bc I'm a kid doesn't mean I can't say no! Saying children can't stand up for themselves is just wrong. But the reason I don't is bc I GENUINELY APPRECIATE AND CARE ABOUT CLUB! I HAVE NOTHING AGAINST HIM! And if you did think this was true, why did you harass me later on for "not saying no" then? Tsk tsk tsk. And he supports all minorities. But when he made those cute little pride flag drawings YOU MADE FUN OF HIM FOR IT!

2 notes

Sweetheart if you're so sorry for us then stop contributing to our harassers and also quit accusing us of being future pedophiles. Just ew. Be ashamed of yourself now 7-7

0 notes

Not all of the hub attacked me, it was probably only Sam. Tri has always been friendly towards me and the whole group shouldn't be blamed for this. Keep in mind this is a place where ANYONE and EVERYONE is allowed to talk! Both good and bad people! Bc unlike you, Tri's actually fair. And unlike this group, YOUR ENTIRE GROUP WANTS TO HARASS ME!

6 notes

"why do this? is it cuz he gives you crappily drawn art? Is it cuz he tells you stupid shit like 'happy april hurr de durr’ is it cuz he gives you points and core which is WORTHLESS in the grander scheme of things?" Nah it's bc he's our friend and ya'll just salty you don't have any real ones 7w7

"If you continue to ignore this then sorry we are not going to protect you anymore if you are that brainwashed by that shit stained loser Club." Sweetie please you saying you were EVER protecting me is just gross. Kindly fuck off, if you really want me to be safe <3 (Which btw you don't, you're just disgusting manipulators.)

7 notes

Smh I'm his friend, and listening to a friend's problems IS THE LEAST YOU CAN DO FOR THEM! Club was NEVER trying to harm me! I'm completely fine with being there for him! BC HE'S MY FUCKING FRIEND! Is this how you would react to a friend of yours if they asked if they could vent to you? Just pitiful. If you don't have the emotional energy to listen to someone at the moment, politely tell them so like a normal person jfc.

3 notes

The only reason why he felt the need to seek validation from his friends is BECAUSE OF YOUR GOD-AWFUL TREATMENT OF HIM! You think you can do all the things you did and expect him to still be in a good mental health-state and have good self-thoughts? You think you can gang up on him and tell him he's a terrible person and expect him to not be insecure, scared, self-conscious, OR ANY OF THAT? You need to grow up and learn that your actions HAVE FUCKING CONSEQUENCES, YOU GODDAMN SELFISH 6-YEAR-OLDS! But then again, you would never in your life care if you ever hurt a person, now would you?

Sighhhhh I think that's enough for now lol -w-

Bye, see you tomorrow evening, and sorry for this big one, hehe.

That’s alright. Some people like them have explaining to do, more than they ever can or will.

Regarding the eighth point, admittedly things have improved a lot ever since that was a problem. I can guarantee these days Sam is a non-issue, he may come around but would have his hands tied by better paradigms when he does.

[floradewdrop]

personal - dec 30, 23

i’ve legit stopped reaching out to anyone bc i have to schedule time two weeks or a month in advance

this isn’t to say they’re shit or doing a bad job, like fuck that they’re great friends, it’s not their fault. i just need to make that clear before i proceed for myself _ it’s just capitalism and what it takes from us. if you read this u know who u r, i promise i love u and it’s not about you or anything. i’m just pissed at y’all having to be slaves to working until you die.

but unfortunately with my mental illnesses, my isolation and insecurity has be believing , i truly don’t feel anyone wants to drop things for me anymore, and that sounds so selfish and petty and i suppose it is. but then when i think about how much i want to reach out and just ask for physical support it has to be scheduled. emotional support can only go so far and it’s starting to suck more and more that i’ve literally just stopped looking at my phone bc it makes me so sad that id really love a supportive community to be there for me but it isn’t like i need, and im so selfish for saying that i hate it. i hate that i doubt this delusional shit in my head i just wish my brain could be like,,, chill about something suddenly happening without thinking the world is going to end, what im going to do, how do i reshape my life around this

but then my therapists tell me it’s natural to want that and to be desperate for it when i’m lonely like this, to validate the suffering because it’s real and happening even if it’s to none of my friends’ direct fault,

but then i also don’t have family to lean on.

my reach of contact is one of my therapists and it helps a lil bit it’s just a text and nothing personal like a friend can say or offer, so i ask friends for good vibes, but i feel so crap about myself i think they think im such a nuisance bc i need to much support and that i ask too much of them

i got ghosted this past week asking for physical support after they offered it and i got ghosted - it was a communication error that they didn’t get my text (even though it says delivered) and they were the last friend i though could offer some physical support bc they live closer , even tho it was a miscommunication it still sucks to be waiting around on my phone all day waiting for them to keep their word and didn’t

i’m really glad my therapists are upping my care this coming year, because i’m unfortunately too incapable / disabled to lead a capitalist life. you’d think it would be super cool but when i can’t even get two days in a row to be consistent enough over a decade now but it’s actually fucking not - to live disabled is to live in constant pain and just fucking doubt in myself of ever leading a life that isn’t servitude to my parents or gvnt for money, but that struggle isn’t too different from the average american anyways, disability or not, it’s just shit here.

i can’t believe it’s been a fucking decade and i’m still living day to day mentally and have lost more “friends” in my life than have gained in support and im still crippled by the tiniest infractions in my day.

fucking everything i’m diagnosed with, just fuck them all. i know capitalism sucks, but i don’t think some ppl realize how desperately i wish i could at least get my own job to pay my own life’s way, but i cant. (maybe one day? but a long time from now)

i can’t believe i’m in my 30s and having to have my therapists talk privately to my parents on what’s going on and their future plan for me (to which i’m expecting a catastrophic response tbqh)

i am glad i’m not at a point in my life where SH or sui*de are not part of my daily rotation, so i know growth has been made, so it’s a weird feeling to know i’ll survive but also sucks that i’ll survive bc life is hard. apart from social neglect and isolation those are things that can be remedied, i think over time,

BUT BOY DOES IT FUCKING SUCK IN THE MOMENT LIKE THIS MOMENT JFC IT SUCKS I WANNA SUCK JOY OUT OF EVERYONE AND EVERYTHING AND I WANNA SCREAM AND CRY

it’s honestly stemmed from my family’s decision to not give a fuck about me around my bday this past year, and just cascaded into everything else while they continued to compact more stress and, unfortunately, burned my bridge completely for them this year and for the foreseeable future. to have the best xmas i’ve ever had last year full of support and wonder, to this year full rejection of who i am (which is why i spent xmas alone )

but i truly wish i was invited out to things and holidays to be included, but can’t be a burden bc how dare i think anyone should include me, so i decline because im not worthy.

my therapists say if things get the green from my parents come next month then things will be changing in my care and i so hope and wish for that to happen. they’ve been every stumbling block so i’m not hoping too highly unu

i watched a small like q&a with some furries (i know how it sounds) but honestly im not into a full suit but i’ve always loved fox ears and tail, thanks to gaia, and their community seems so welcoming and supportive. i don’t know anything about that world except most media and a few good words here and there but after this vid i watched im gonna do more research. i know this sounds harsh, but bc of the internet i didn’t really know that its not as sexual as the internet makes it, they just like to have fun and dress up and escape , like dnd. honestly the first time in months ive felt excited about maybe joining a new community, and although i feel cringe for the fandom, educating myself was important to get the misinformation out of the way for me to be like “oh, yeah i just think it’s cute! im not attracted to any furries or animals, but i think its fun and cute to play and cosplay!” always have, so i guess its me getting over my embarrassment of it idk - ppl just really wanna have fun and be silly and make others happy, even if its a costume like an animal. its creative af tbh,

all that to say i’m lonely now and it hurts so bad right now. i don’t even want a SO lmfao, i’m far from wanting anything like that, but just more friends who have more time. i honestly don’t even think it’s possible in america bc of our work grind culture, but i have to hope that over time maybe it gets easier on everyone idk

i’m just hoping and wanting friends and social interaction a lot and my disabilities are such a catalyst for it

jffiekgirorogorofogk it’s 3AM shit post man i haven’t shit post or blog posted on here in years like this , feels good. feels right. all my dirty laundry on the most worst trusted social media platform that somehow never sinks. LMFAO

wow i’m really fucking autistic LMFAO just thinking about how much this also reflects poorly on my routine habits and trying to gain stability in that, when it doesn’t happen my day is just gone and i’m in a brain fog of not understanding and trying to figure out social queues and if i did something wrong

okay, i feel a bit better. good vent session meggie LOL okay time to try to sleep and wind down i hope - even though im amped on ptsd dreams and avoiding sleep to not wake up 3 times having to change sweaty clothes

tomorrow,,, i buy something nice for myself. maybe a crystal.

[brittapcrrys]

this post just making me think abt something for, like, the 10th time today....

this got so fucking long ahhh i am just. justifying all this to myself as im unpacking where the feeings are coming from jsdfkhs glad i have a psych session next week, guess i know what we're gonna talk abt!!

i was rly generally frustrated this afternoon and got a message to pop around for last minute planning for the help/work im doing for mum's friend for the next few weeks. and like yeah i know that it is generally within my range of abilities, i know that most times i help 'em out like this it's Fine and occasionally even Fun, i know that if im Not Well or anything else i can text and say look can't do it today sorry and that'll be accepted!!!

but. whenever i am asked to Do these things (dog sit / dog walk / plant-sit&garden, etc) for "neighbours" and friends there's like......... they KNOW im unemployed and they KNOW i've done it before so there's this feeling of an unspoken expectation that i WILL say yes, i will agree to do it when and as asked.

and ig to some extent it's reasonable for any of them to think 'she's been happy to do it before so there's good odds she'll probably, hopefully, do it again!' and they're never DEMANDING abt it or anything so maybe it is, at least coming from the 'employer' in each case, mostly just ~in my head~ n something i'm seeing/feeling/projecting that's not Actually in there

but idk when i HAVE had jobs in the past (waitress, cleaner, babysitter, tutor, library assistant) if i got ~called in~ the day before i uhhhh could say no. and would say no. and i didn't feel bad abt it i didn't care like i had a (casual, but pre-planned) roster and i've been fortunate enough that saying 'no, i can't' didn't lose me those scheduled shifts or the job as a whole, i know that. but bc this isn't an ~official~ job there's no structure it's just a 'get a text 1wk-to-12hrs before, help a neighbour, get twenty bucks' kinda deal each time it feels like i HAVE TO say yes. if i don't have some other thing already planned, i have to say Yeah Sure or im evil and horrible and the worst and should be ashamed

excepttttttttt i think. a lot of that. comes from my mum lmao always a fun connection to make. bc i made some exasperated comment mostly to myself during that frustrated moment this afternoon and she was like "well what do you mean? why can't you do it? why would you say no? did you WANT to say no? it's not like you have much else going on... it's not even hard why wuold---" etc etc and dad isn't quite so expressive, ever, but less and less so as the PD continues to wear away at him & his speech in more obvious ways, but has similar sentiments. and like.... just bc THEY can't/won't say no to stuff doesn't mean i shouldn't????? mum will say she needs a week to herself and then 10minutes later has agreed to be a TRT (substitute teacher) for 3.5days that week. dad just thinks 'you do a job until it's done. you get asked to do a job, you do that til it's done' and like let's not even THINK abt the way that has worn each of them down physically and emotionally at different times, including now. like they just view Work and the related Expectations/Obligations differently, i guess? whether that's a generational thing, a ND (me) vs NT thing, a 'farmer and air force electrician' and 'lifelong teacher' and 'we both moved out at 16/17 and supported ourselves from that point on / u can't get something from nothing' thing. i have forgotten where this was going jfc

anyway. the dog will be a lil moody if i don't visit her for a couple hours & go for a walk, but she'll be fine. the plants can be watered by someone else, or - esp in the current weather - just miss a day, they'll bounce back later. me doing these things when asked is not, like, the key to holding the fabric of the universe together. nobody's life is gonna come apart at the seams bc i said 'oh, sorry, i won't be able to d that today/this week'.

and i shouldn't actually have to explain why! maybe i have a migraine and can't stand up straight. maybe i'm having a gastrointestinal Hell Episode. maybe i threw up overnight and am still very distressed abt it. maybe i haven't slept in 48hrs. maybe it's windy and im teetering on the verge of a panic attack and rly cannot be outside in it. maybe it's PMDD time and i know i don't have the patience to interact with another being especially not in a way where im solely responsible for it. maybe im bleeding heavily and cramping to the extreme on and off without warning. maybe i haven't been able to get out of bed all week because i just dont want to exist. MAYBE i just! don't! wanna!

and idt it's fair that anyone says or acts in a way that suggests im doing something Very Wrong or Shameful or Disappointing (there's a difference between, 'oh, that's disappointing, but thanks for letting me know' disappointment & 'why would you do that? what are you thinking?' disappointment, which is the kind i mean). is it gonna be fine most times if i agree to it even when i don't rly want to? yes. it's always mostly fine-ish. it's nto abt avoiding it out of anxiety or whatever like im not nervous abt walking this mini daschund that adores me. im not nervous abt watering plants that are essentially the same as my own at home. it's just, like, weighing up 'would doing this likely improve my mood/day? will it probably just be a non-impact kinda deal? what are the odds it makes me / my day worse?' each time (knowing when my psych appts are, when my period is and general mood shifts during my cycle, how my sleep and mood have been in the day/s before the 'shift', weather, etc etc etc) and determining which is likely to be the most effective and useful (or neutral, sometimes) option for me in that case!

and if that reason is just 'ehhh i really just Dont Want It today/tomorrow' that is also fine, actually

[chonidale]

Thanks for answering my question about watching S1-6 for choni. I started but couldn't stand the cringe that is watching Archie and Veronica together so I ended up just watching compilations on yt and bits of certain episodes.

IMO they get less scenes/development for a 19+ episode show than I was expecting but I love their chemistry. The reason for their break up in S5 so out of the blue and that key party scene was brutal. Mad they never got back together as adults. But you're right the context of their S6 storyline especially has put a new perspective on them in S7 😭 (the journey i went on to figure out who that guy Toni was singing to at the end of S6 was lmao) S6E4 is great! Also, adult Cheryl is the best dressed character on TV period.

More ppl should've been talking about that abigail/thomasina scene last year than Cheryl fighting the comet bc jfc 🥵

Love your page, your gifs of them at the sock-hop are the reason I started watching so thank you! ❤️

they definitely had less than most supporting series regulars would get on other shows (probably on par for other wlw ships tho lbr), but they got much more than any other non core four ship got on the show, though it was definitely in and out. they'd go half seasons with nothing, and then have pretty consistent focus for the next half. but i'm glad they've finally found the balance for the final season and are going out on the highest note for them possible, something that is easier to appreciate when you know how bad we were in the trenches before.

the break up definitely came out of nowhere and was fairly nonsensical, but considering how they set up the core four break ups for the time jump (cheating), i didn't mind the contrived family issues, it saved their relationship from being tainted like the others. i also kinda liked that they brought their long standing, established family feud back and made them kinda star crossed lovers, even if they never did anything with it post time jump because they're hacks. adds a little something to the soulmate reveal later.

the key party scene is by far chonis lowest moment, oof. so brutal, especially considering they started the time jump off so well. they had such delicious angst in those first few episodes and then the writers just took a complete 180 and shit all over them for no reason :/ do feel a little vindication that cheryl ended up being like 95% right in her assurance that it was a mistake to have a kid with kevin and fangs, even if she went about it the wrong way.

but yes! s6 was hard to sit through with how little scenes they got, but it was all worth it in the end. well, not the wedding, that was unnecessarily cruel, since the writers knew they were going back to choni, but whatever. 6x04 and 6x22 are two of the best episodes of the show imo, and changed the trajectory of their story so much and salvaged the damaged they'd done pretty well. also really makes their storyline this season hit so much more than any other and feel so much more relevant and connected to the past than the other characters too. i just need the writers to bring it all together in those last two episodes by having them get their memories back, at least briefly, so toni can find out and finally admit what she always felt. and lmao, the way the show just had toni age that kid up for nothing and not care that she was missing out on his entire childhood, before seemingly erasing him from existence will never not be funny. that kid ruined my life but i got the last laugh.

[wikiangela]

watching 911 lone star 4x10

spoilers under the cut

I liked the last two episodes but tbh I'm kinda not feeling the show anyway lately, like I'm not excited about the new episodes or anything idk - this show is slowly losing me sns 😂 (like, I've been putting off this episode and I kinda don't wanna watch it rn but I'm gonna bc I'll stick out at least this season 😂)

okay, time to watch it hah:

Tommy looks gorgeous as always 😍

oh my god that eye thing was so gross, I could not even look at the screen 🤢

is Pearce the dude that worked with them for a minute a while ago? i would never remember this dude if they didn't remind us in that HR episode (and I had to google him then to know who they're talking about 😂) why is he back wtf

this is so annoying 😂

oh my god Grace looks stunning 😍😍😍😍

"serial killer, it was my dad that had the stalker" lmao their lives are crazy 😂 and the way TK said it so calmly and casually 😂

I can't take my eyes off of Grace jfc she looks AMAZING 😍😍🔥

I feel like I've seen the actress who plays Kendra somewhere but can't put my finger on it

so... a new love interest for Owen or just a one time thing? tbh I couldn't care less but I miss Amy Acker 😂

aw, Nancy telling Mateo the plot of a book, and he's so excited 😍 look at them, so adorable 😍

ngl I'm kinda bored rn 😂

okay, the whole Owen thing with Kendra paying him is pretty funny, even if I'm annoyed that we're back to focusing on Owen after literally just one episode where he took the backseat

"I may be easy but no one, and I mean no one, has to pay for it" 😂 that got an actual out loud laugh out of me ngl 😂😂😂

oh shit I knew this was gonna happen as soon as I saw the tubes - and it seems like this episode is more focused on medical emergencies and I like that tbh

Grace really is the mvp of this whole show 😂 we need more of her

(also, can we get more of the dispatchers, like, I don't even know anyone's name but Grace, we rarely see her interact with others, and I can't help compare with the og where they have a few recurring characters who are dispatchers🙄)

they're literally racing in ambulances 😂 this is so funny lol

I'm loving another episode where Tommy is a petty queen lmao, I love seeing this side of her 😂

ugh I just do not give a fuck about Kendra and the whole Owen thing 😩 (playback speed 2x, can't get through it otherwise)

the fact that she keeps paying him is funny, but other than that it's just such a fucking boring plotline 😂

oh shit, I did not expect the Paragon ambulance to explode 😂 that took me by surprise 😂

I do not care about Kendra or her sad backstory or whatever

ha, Paragon's getting sued lmao, good 😂

"karma is a beautiful thing" yes it is, Tommy 😂

and that's the episode

idk, this season kinda flactuates for me, it was whatever, got better, then another few meh episode, two great ones, and now it's whatever again 💁🏻‍♀️

BUT I'm watching the promo and next episode will focus on Mateo more??? hell yeah!! I'm so happy they're starting to give screen time to others - maybe this season can be great yet 😂

it was an okay episode, but not one of my faves 😂 I enjoyed Tommy and Nancy and TK and that side of things, and the few moments we got of Nancy and Mateo were adorable, but other than that it was kinda whatever 😂

looking forward to the next one tho haha

[vole-mon-amour]

Part 2.

I am so shipping her with Gale. Also, your tv show is way too brutal.

Where's the "she's just worried about how her boyfriend at home will react'? Butchering the book for the sake of the movie.

When they sit down and talk, it's so out of place. It's supposed to be on the roof but it's not (apparently)? "I just don't want them to change me" line is sooo out of nowhere and out of context. No conversation about the roof being protected from people jumping and killing themselves. Like??? This movie NEEDED to benefit from an inner monologue for sure.

Haymitch explaining her what will happen as if she hasn't watched every single one of the games before this and knows exactly how that works. I understand that they're trying to explain it for the viewer that never read those books, but for people that did? Jfc.

Now, THAT'S something new. I'm so curious to learn his background from the books. As if he had a kid, a daughter maybe, and lost to the Games? Maybe his partner, too?

Wtf? Why do they make it look like Cinna sneaked it in? While it's been approved by the Game Makers, but another girl's thing was rejected because it was an actual weapon?

Not in the book (unless I already forgot), but I'll allow it. Yet, he still doesn't have the same vibe as he does in the book! He's warmer in the book! There's more of him there. Katniss is fond of him. Where IS it!!

Plus, I can't help it, because she looks way older than 16, I kinda want to ship them here even though I had noooo such idea in the book. An interesting concept but still.

Oh, and they never mentioned her father again, after Katniss told her mother about "no freezing like when Dad died". They should've went with it here, especially forehead to forehead. Because that's what lovers sometimes do.

This moment right here. When she turns around and looks at him, and her braid follows. I want gifs.

Gale is so right. I understand why her mom watches it—probably better to know what happens to your kid than not, but omg. The fact that Gale can't handle it and don't want to.

I like the detail that Peeta went straight for the woods and that he was the only one. That's some serious advantage when it comes to time and them catching you. He definitely ran like hell.

Ohh, the way Katniss maaagically and so fast found a source of water in the forest when in the book the dehydration nearly killed her. Sure, Jan. Sure.

The way they find Katniss in the water and not at night, high on a tree? What were they doooiiiingggg. I'm so finishing this movie and going to bed and continuing the book. I like it better. But hey, at least she's going up the tree, which isn't bad. A way to honor the book.

Just dad things. The note wasn't in the book, but I'll take it.

Her acting is not that bad sometimes.

;____;

Ohhh my god. Nothing brings you together and divides you with your best friend like t h i s.

Oh, Hamitch, you piece of shit :D What I don't get is that the cameras are WATCHING them. Surely they see the note, too, and how it's guiding them. Didn't no one figure it out???

I understand that she kisses Peeta bc it gives them a chance of survival, but this is suuuuch a notp for me. Like, no. If that was a tv show, I would skip that part. Just no.

Me too, Gale. Me too. Can't wait to progress with the book.

Peetah's "I'm not letting you go, stay." I can understand the appeal of that, but that's not Katniss. She won't sit there and watch him die. I keep thinking how would it be with Gale. Gale knows how strong she is. I feel like he'd encourage her? That she's strong and capable and can do that?

"I'll see you very soon."

Yeah...

This movie is so shaky, I can't see half of it. It doesn't add up to the atmosphere for me, only makes me dizzy.

He's soft and all, I understand. BUT GALE. Plus, I'm curious how it's actually in the book.

Honestly, the way they conveniently changed the rules so that a couple from the same district can win and go home? Soooo convenient. x) And this movie is sooo trying to make the watcher favor this ship.

I'm surprised that, according to the movie, Katniss still had arrows left without picking them up. She had what, only ten arrows? She's extremely good with the arrows and the bow, but still. How many nights have they been there?

Just her boyfriend and her adoptive dad watching.

[numberonepartyboy]

Sometimes I wish that I got aborted like srs

Bc with who I live with is a fucking nightmare even if we have some ok moments

It's still not okay to yell at your kids and even I know that jfc

God why is god such a bitch I need 19th of December to get to them faster so that she would get out of this FUCKING HOUSE and I will be at peace for at least some time