#i can deal with the mental anguish if i get to see my wife

[mary-fantg]

Что вы думаете о Лиззи, Татьяне и Мэй?

Hello) this is the first question on tumblr to me and I'm a little worried, thank you for your interest in my opinion and for the opportunity to speak out, this is very important to me. I will try to answer succinctly, describe the main qualities of the character and his key aspects in his relationship with Tommy.

I'll make a reservation right away, all of the following is just my purely personal opinion.

Лиззи.

Character: prostitute, poorly educated ("I did not graduate from school, went to work early" s5), prudent; understands that the only way to break out of her vicious circle is to successfully marry a man with money, candidates for selection are mainly men from criminal circles (Shelby, Changretta); loves children; is only sweet with those with whom it is profitable; knows how to keep secrets and not go where they don't ask; emotional; arrogant; jealous; short-tempered, but at the same time responsible, executive. It is still a big mystery to me how she worked as a secretary and conducted business in the Company, despite the fact that she could not write correctly (s5, when Tommy talks about her letter).

Lizzie/Tommy: initially, the prostitute-client relationship, which eventually developed into a confidential and friendly communication, "your man", thanks to which in s2 the relationship moves into a new direction employer-subordinate, "I need a person who looks through his fingers at everything."

I don't know, I didn't get the feeling that Lizzie loved Tommy, I saw in her only a financial interest and a desire to become a respectable woman. After Grace's death, Lizzie made every effort to become Tommy's constant lover, slowly and faithfully she went to her goal, trying to be there when he was completely broken and needed a woman's warmth. Being the mistress of the coolest gangster in Birmingham was very flattering for her. An accidental pregnancy became her "lucky ticket" to a luxurious life that she would not have dreamed of under any other circumstances. Which is exactly what Linda noticed in s4. In PB, every word has weight and meaning, so not once did Lizzie talk about her feelings for Thomas, neither before marriage, nor in marriage, nor in moments of his mental anguish, when he was weak in front of her and vulnerable, not once did she say that she loved him. All her speeches are only about money and what she will have left when he is gone, "I value my head for shilling more" is the main reason why she tolerates Tommy's indifferent attitude towards herself and their marriage. Only greed and calculation. Of course, it can be noted that she tried to be a normal wife, most importantly a mother for Charlie (I think this is the main reason for their marriage, Tommy saw that Charlie was lonely, he needed a mother). But due to the fact that they are completely different in intelligence and ambitions, there is no mutual attraction (chemistry) between them, their relationship does not add up. If it hadn't been for Ruby's death and Thomas's aggravated PTSD, I think they could have continued to live together in a "guest marriage" mode. But we see that by the end of s6, Tommy's psyche was exhausted and destroyed so much that he completely withdrew into himself, and Lizzie did not have the potential to help him recover, we see that she is completely unaware of how broken he is.

Татьяна.

Character: a runaway aristocrat from the Russian Empire, a princess, smart, educated, beautiful, has a position in society, rich, prudent, cynical, depraved, cruel, desperate, for the sake of her goals she will go over her heads, a devil woman, a fire woman. She is unhappy in her own way, since from a young age she was treated as a commodity, part of the deal, her aunt "sold" her niece repeatedly, as we see from the stories about Georgia and in the situation with Shelby. This experience killed everything "bright" in her, it seemed to me that she does not know how to love, to be compassionate, she absolutely does not understand Tommy's love and sorrow for his dead wife, and why he took her to the guest bedroom causes her perplexity. She liked to hurt him by breaking into his bedroom with Grace, his memory room, standing with her feet on his marital bed, using his wife's perfume. His love for his wife caused her inner envy and jealousy, so she tried to behave as subtly as possible in Thomas's house and trample on what was dear to him. Although why did he let her in there at all?!!

Relationship: exclusively business, with elements of sex and alcohol. No future was planned there.

To be honest, these s3 series, immediately after Grace's death, caused such a storm of emotions in me, I still can't understand why it was necessary to introduce such a plot with an abundance of debauchery, orgies so quickly, and most importantly, why it was necessary to bring it all to the house where a few months ago we played a wedding with a woman that Tommy will love for the rest of his life. I understand that this is all a movie, but I physically felt pain, bitterness and resentment for such an attitude to Grace's memory, it all looked like nothing terrible had happened, guys, moving on. I think it was rude to the fans of the T/G couple, who were already shocked by her murder. I am very angry at SK for this. Apparently, the author wanted to show the depth of Tommy's despair, the hell he found himself in, complete disorientation, and went all out. That's the only way I can explain it to myself.

Мэй.

Character: an attractive, educated, bored widow with good connections in high society, the owner of a stud farm, an excellent business partner for Tommy, opening up new horizons for his business. Ambitious, adventurous, suspicious, prudent, the mind prevails over the heart.

Relationship: Thomas is a pleasant exotic adventure for her, a curiosity, a "racketeer". A partner for sex, with him she feels like a woman again, "alive". Of course, this is a misalliance. It is unlikely that their relationship would end in marriage, I think they could only be lovers for a certain time, later the relationship would come to naught. In their communication, May's superiority over Thomas was felt, her tone always seemed to me imperious, she obviously tried to "bribe" him with her connections in high offices, thereby taking control of him. In her environment, Thomas would always be an outsider, from the lower society, even the groom in her stables allowed himself to be arrogant to Tommy, mockingly hinting at "gypsy stuff" when he gave good advice.

The whole essence of May's relationship to Thomas is shown in May's dialogue with Grace. For her, Shelby is primarily a lover, and she is a profitable connection for him. In her eyes, he is a man only about business: business, business and only business. She rules out the possibility that Thomas might love someone.

In conclusion (a little bit about Grace).

All the female characters who appeared in Thomas's life throughout all 6 seasons perceived him as an attractive, extraordinary, intelligent, very interesting man. But none of them loved him completely, with all his flaws and injuries. Only Grace. She was the one who sacrificed everything for him. In the first season of her career, she "betrayed all the principles given to her by birthright." In the second season - a quiet rich life, position in society, respect for his family. In the third season, with her life itself, though not consciously, but I'm sure if it were necessary, she would give her life for him voluntarily.

Grace was like Thomas, with her skeletons in the closet, with her injury, and her hands were "covered in blood." They were burned by circumstances and this made them "the same", they understood the motives of each other's behavior.

Other women in Tommy's life (excluding Tatiana, on the contrary, she was more "sick in the head", not controlled), were emotionally healthy, they did not cross the line, they were not broken, so they would never have been able to understand and accept Tommy to the end.

Thomas understood all this, felt and knew that there was no such Grace and never would be, which is why he never forgave himself for her loss. He died inwardly with her.

[hrodvitnon]

Xenilla Arc HCs...

…or ideas- however you wanna slice it. 

I think the absolute essence of this arc hinges ride or die on the answer to the question “Does it end with Ozymandias dying?”. A lot of people seem partial to the answer being yes- I will straight up admit my biases here and say I disagree- but the answer can go either way.

If the answer is yes then I think the arc should theme around Godzilla coming to terms with the fact that his brother is gone and not coming back, and that he needs to stop comparing himself against Ozzy and be king in his own way. It would center very heavily on examining older characters like Tiamat, Mothra, Shimo, and Dagon and how they all have to move on and forward. A pretty bleak story with a sad ending. I admit there’s probably more ways to do this version of the story that I’d be down to hear if anyone wants to share.

If the answer is no then the arc should be about Godzilla and crew turning a blind eye to the insurmountable odds that stand between them and freeing Ozzy- a story seriously fraught with hardship, suffering, and anguish with a dim light at the end of the tunnel. The reason I prefer this route is I actually think it’s more true to Abraxas as a story as that’s how the original story played out. This would be very similar- except it’s Godzilla’s story instead of Vivienne’s. And the unadulterated cruelty and torment wouldn’t be focused on just her. Everyone who follows Godzilla down this path goes through some shit to get to the end. The rest of this post is written with this route in mind, but like mentioned earlier I’m open to hearing about a version of this story where Ozzy doesn’t walk away- I just struggle to find a good way to write that myself. 

However- one thing I don’t think should happen is a bait and switch. Genuinely I fail to see a satisfying end to this story if Ozzy’s baited to be able to survive but then doesn’t. Yes it would be angsty. Yes Goji would cry a lot. But I feel like you’d need to either write that extremely well or risk a very unsatisfying end. I just kinda fail to see a world where that can be pulled off with finesse. Again- fully ready to admit I’m biased here- would always be willing to hear others out on this, but idk man. 

Anyways- the additional excuse of a very weepy happy ending gives you ample breathing room to write the most horribly fucked shit imaginable. A concept I’m sure you’re familiar with. Xenilla would want to play with his food before he consigns him to infection. He knows the effect he has on Godzilla and he intends to relish every moment of it. Physical, mental, you fucking name it; he wants Godzilla to go through hell in his final days before he mercifully delivers him to Gigan’s Proliferation Chambers to be infected. A large part of this torment would be what he does to those closest to him. 

Big turning point in the arc; could happen about halfway through when the G-Team thinks they have a solid grasp on how to deal with Xenilla. The man himself shows up, wrecks Goji’s shit in front of everyone (maybe even drops him from the atmosphere like that one ask), and then kidnaps some of his closest companions to be taken to Gigan’s fleet. This could literally be anyone- but my idea is for it to be Abraxas, Mothra, and Rodan (could also throw in Leo or Ladon for some real cursed shit). They get taken right in front of Godzilla. Cue a rehash of Viv’s mental mindbreak when San got swallowed except with the King believing he’s just lost his wife and two best friends. 

While onboard the ship, couple of things happen. Everyone besides Abraxas goes through some kind of horrific experience and is additionally incapacitated by the Indoctrination radio waves permeating the ship. Abraxas is spared via San being granted immunity when Ghidorah used to live onboard, and she ends up being the key to getting everyone off alive. This is also partially an excuse to give her a fight with Gigan as a moment for her to fix one of Ghidorah’s most depraved acts (a very hard and very bloody fight, might I add). 

There ends up being serious consequences for this abduction. For one- everyone that does get taken ends up partially Indoctrinated. They can pretty easily shake off the worst effects as Abraxas would get them onto an escape craft within a day or two- but it’ll definitely leave mental scars. In addition, I think Rodan should end up partially infected. I think between Mothra and him, Xenilla would choose him to be infested because it would fuck Godzilla up more to see someone as carefree and quippy as Rodan utterly broken the parasite like he was- also because Mothra may have some unforeseen resistance to it being born of the Planet. This starts a subplot where Rodan is slowly getting more infected day by day and the return party needs to rush to find a way to cure him before losing him for good (this could also be how they find the cure they use on Ozzy later, more on that later). Very angsty all around- Rodan freaking out each time the cordies try to get control of him, everyone else worrying themselves into an early grave over him, etc. 

Subplot #2: Monarch believes the key to stopping Xenilla is somewhere in the Hollow Earth. So- they send a group of Kaiju down there to look for an answer; in my head the group consists of Kong, Dagon, Barb, and Battra. They end up being right and find an Iwi forge/refinery where the Gojiran/Zohar weaponry was forged. Through a task requiring human/Titan cooperation, they create an Ultra-Radiated weapon that they think can neutralize the parasite (again, more on this later). Thinking it could either be a knife or a spear. 

Whilst all this is happening, the few remaining Titans topside scramble in preparation as the world prepares for what could be a full-scale alien invasion. At this point- only like Goji, Tiamat, and Shimo would be left. They could all be having individual flashbacks to their most treasured moments with Ozzy whilst maybe even fighting off some advance enemies (Megaguirus or MOGUERA, anyone?). 

The final conflict would start with a 1 on 1 confrontation between Shimo and Xenilla. Reason being that she needs to buy time for the cure to be finalized and for Kong’s group to return. This could also be her first truly challenging fight in millennia and we could actually see her pushed to her limits. 

The actual fight begins when Godzilla rolls up all roars and challenges to Xenilla. He roars back- prepared to finally win this 1 on 1 and drag Goji back in a horrifically mauled state to be stuffed full of fungus- only for Godzilla to immediately halt his charge and shout ‘NOW, FATHER!’. Xenilla barely has time to turn around before he’s blasted point blank by a sub-atomic Oxygen Destroyer- only after the bombardment does the full Titan Vanguard roll up. Establishes that this fight is not for glory, to establish dominance, or to enforce Godzilla’s sovereignty. Godzilla is going to win and does not care how dirty he has to fight to do so. 

Dagon is armed with Oxygen Destroyers, Kong’s got his new weapon, Godzilla’s all powered up, and Abraxas has a new little secret weapon up their sleeve I’ll touch on in a bit. Even so- Shimo’s already been worn down and doesn’t have a lot less in the tank. Her efforts mainly go into protecting the group’s first major plan: Barb. A lot of people seem to forget that her EMP blasts disable Titan powers- taking away Xenilla’s shields and devastating Coronal Rays. This works until it inevitably doesn’t, and the group goes through plan after plan similar in tactfulness to this until Kong or Mothra or someone gets a clean impalement with the new Zohar weapon. 

Should probably explain my idea of curing the parasite now. The key to curing the infection in my eyes is two-fold and relies on two things: Neutralizing the fungus and destroying it. You can’t do one without the other. To start with it’s destruction- I think the only really viable option is literally to burn it off the bone and cells it grows on. If you’ve ever heard of Radiosurgery, it’s a form of cancer treatment that utilizes extremely precise beams of gamma radiation to literally burn away cancer cells. Obviously this is very risky to preform as screwing it up could cause irreversible damage to bone or critical tissue- if this was a normal patient. Ozymandias is Gojiran- so radiation wouldn’t have any adverse effects on him specifically, but the parasite? It would probably take a lot- a very heavy dosage and very concentrated- but Ozzy’s body would be able to endure while the fungus would not. But the infection is tricky, cunning, it would start to defend itself in some way or even try to take Ozzy with it should it be threatened like this. This is where we find the need to neutralize it- and the one who may be able to do that is Abraxas. We know that Ghidorah communicated between the heads via psionics, and we’ve seen further communication from Ichi and Ni to Vivienne and San. Vivienne and San could talk back but they could never actually initiate conversation (or maybe they could? I actually kinda can’t remember rn). Another thing- despite being shielded from Indoctrination’s worst effects- they could still hear that goddamn infernal buzzing on the ship. In fact- they heard it so well they could commit it to memory… so much that they could think about it, ponder it, learn how it works…

I’ve read asks on here that mention 'Shaking off Reaper Indoctrination’, and that’s always felt a little weird to me- because that really isn’t something you just 'shake off’- it’s very clear in ME that the damage is permanent and not something very salvageable. However- what if the 'cure’ for Indoctrination is actually just another form of Indoctrination that undoes the programming on a psychic level. An Anti-Indoctrination method created by Abraxas after scrutinizing the actual frequencies of Indoctrination to see how it works. I think this would be a fantastic way to progress Abraxas’s character past where they were left at the end of Abraxas- going from one of Ghidorah’s most tortured victims, to the one who broke free of his control and defeated him, and now acts as an Anti-Ghidorah undoing all of his past sins. First defeating Gigan and then turning Indoctrination against them. So this becomes how Rodan, Mothra, and Ozzy are saved from being Indoctrinated- and also how Abraxas becomes possibly the most dangerous Titan on Earth- now knowing the secrets of Indoctrination and able to leverage that against their enemies. I’ve got a lot more thoughts on this I’ll cover in a separate ask just because this post is getting long. 

So the actual method of curing Ozzy is essentially to reverse-indoctrinate the parasite into going dormant whilst Ozzy gets pumped with Zohar to kill off the infection- but where, I hear you ask, could we get a constant stream of Zohar and enough of it to eventually burn every bit of the fungus away? If you answered Bahamut’s Proliferation (name I gave to Tiamat’s Liar; open to additional name suggestions). It’s constantly charging from the incoming Coronal Rays and through some Monarch tech, it can be repurposed as a Cordyceps curing facility for both Rodan and Ozzy. However- the curing process would not be short- the place would’ve just been drained by Godzilla a few years ago and the stream of Solar Energy wouldn’t exactly be fast. It could take weeks or even months for the fungus to be completely gone- and Ozzy would be in a coma the entire time.

As mentioned earlier- ending’s a fucking tear-fest all around. Despite all the hardship, Goji and his subjects pulled through another impossible situation. Just like Abraxas being freed from Ghidorah- Ozzy is freed from Xenilla. 

As always- really interested to what other have to say in regards to this; also expect that followup ask with how Abraxas’s Anti-Indoctrination would work.

---

Now that it’s explained, I feel more open to the idea of Ozzy living after a lot of pain and suffering on everyone; it feels like Gigan (and the narrative) expects our heroes to fail in saving him from a life of horrors in spite of all their efforts, and yet Abraxas is like “You know what? Fuck you. Un-funguses your lizard.” (Abraxas can indeed initiate “psychic conversations” with Ghidorah; they’ve definitely done it one or two times in Chapter 18, I remember that.)

I do wonder how well crafting weapons made from the Zohar will work; the AbraxasVerse Timeline posits the idea that the Zohar may be the planet’s core and that Ghidorah consuming it would basically destroy Earth from the inside-out, and we know Battra is going to HATE that. On the other hand, @zerm2v0hg also presented an idea that maybe the Scarred Apes under Skar King’s rule might have refined elements of Zohar for their own fucked-up purposes, and that Synthetic Zohar can be produced without potential planet-cracking ramifications... although the synthetic alternative may have ramifications of their own, who knows...

On the one hand it makes sense that the Fleet would have an enormous Fuck-Off HUEG LIKE XBOX ship dedicated for Gigan, but on the other I’m not so keen on the idea of Ghidorah having previously lived there because it clashes with a lore-dump I’d made about the Fleet; namely that Ghidorah is the source of no insignificant amount of generational trauma and its actions are antithetical to the Fleet’s belief about Experience being the key to a life well lived (one must experience as many things as possible both good and bad), because Ghidorah will kill anything and everything it can, meaning no survivors to tell of the Experience.

It’s been a while since I’ve really spitballed what exactly the relationship between AbraxasVerse Gigan and Ghidorah would be like, but I definitely recall they fought each other. A lot. They had a rivalry but unlike with Godzilla it was this weird interplay of violence and sadomasochistic... mutual appreciation? Like, Gigan comes to believe that Ghidorah completes him in the sense that he’s constantly improving his technique and cybernetics and weaponry after every fight; and Ghidorah appreciates Gigan because they LOVE a good fight and Gigan always provides a good scrap. The Fleet however is scared shitless of Ghidorah due of the whole galactic genocidal road trip schtick, and because it’s come damn close to actually killing Gigan, their living god, at times. 

Ghidorah also hates Little Ones, like the members of the Fleet, with the fury of a thousand suns. They don’t even have to look remotely like the Makers, they just bring up those terrible memories just by doing their own thing without realizing it. So Ghidorah having roomed with Gigan on his own personal ship seems a bit odd with that in mind.

“Welcome to my humble abode, Ghidorah! I’d like you to room with me while we travel the stars on a glorious crusade to spread the Word of Flesh and Metal.”

“THE FUCK DO WE NEED A ROOM FOR? OR A SHIP? WE CAN FUCKING FLY THROUGH SPACE. ALSO YOUR LITTLE ONES PISS US OFF. WE’RE GOING TO KILL THEM ALL NOW.”

“Ahh, that’s what I thought you’d say, you crazy fucking noodle! Can’t let you do that to my babies, they’re mine!”

(I know it’s not the intent and I’m sorry, but Titan-sized escape shuttles also make me giggle due to the mental image of the Earthborn Titans trying to figure out how anything works. “Hey, Rodan? I think we should start the engines. Like, right now.” “I CAN’T FIGURE OUT HOW TO GET THIS THING WORKING!” “NIGHT VISION ENGAGED.”)

[philipblasblog]

Open Letter to the United States America

To : The the President, Office of the United States of America

cc : Secretary of the State, US State Department 

cc : Ex-President George W. Bush Jr,  Philip Blas Mental & Physical Health Wellness Coordinator

cc: : International Community Supporters, Donors, 

Re : Clandestine Insurgency  /  Espionage Operation  /   Financial Deprivation ( Total Remitted: US$ 0.00 )

         Intellectual Property Infringement  |  Hacking / Cybercrime  |  Mental Torture, Sleep Deprivation

         Medical Management  |  Improvished Living Condition   

Gentlemen,

With all due respect, I am Mr. Philip "Mohammad" Blas whom you have pledged to support technological marvels and advancement you have set me to innovate for the betterment of our human race.  Over the years you have not given me any form of support and treated me in a very inhumane fashion. You have subjected me to mental torture using auditory and visual effects to instill fear and undermine my sanity for my submissiveness.  Your 24/7 covert surveillance and monitoring of my activities trying to get valuable information by initiating topics that you would eventually sell for profit.  I never receive any form of royalty for inventions I did.  I helped then-President George W. Bush Jr tackle a syndicated attempt to undermine him.

 For some reason, my life became so hard and subjected me to a lot of mental anguish. We all know that my personality is special and gifted with some wisdom., and intellect, and possessed extrasensory power discovered during the course I was entangled with important personalities apparently linked to high US government places.  My exploits in dealing with the underworld organized crime syndicate gained me some popularity and supporter who donates to my cause.  I never received any donations or any amount of currency, food sustenance, vitamins, or medications from Bush - not even a single cent. It was confusing but my nature let everything slide and just live by whatever is there somehow, I felt distressed that those who fully supported and loved my cause, expected the best care to be administered to me for my wellness but instead the contrary.

 It is fine with me that I don't get compensated although I know 100% of their gains but to be mocked, humiliated, disrespected, and worst accused of killing citizens that Bush ordered me to attack. It took a while for me to figure out that all those setups and framed incidents were actually to let me look bad and hated so they have a reason to contain me to my principal donors and supported that later turn sour on me from all the reports Bush was presenting them.  It was a partnership he had with my ex-wife who never even showed even once.  These two are dark forces who are disguised as saints. They have the capability of copying my face using their puppets to show lewd scenes with women probably even an orgy. Pictures or videos with drugs scattered in the room. Cruising and driving luxury cars when I barely left these for corners of my room.  I am not able to see cash or tangible things donated to me as there were a lot of them who cast the spell altogether that I will never be able to see my blessings. i can make money appear for everybody but not for myself.  They are dark forces so when they enter my room to mock or even desecrate me - I totally have no idea.  Even though I possessed great powers, I fought all my battles blindly and was just lucky enough to survive to this day.  I have been doing a lot of projects, showering citizens with money, building housing for the poor, turning the desolated desert into an oasis, founding the Kingdom of Love to showcase a healthier lifestyle, authoring Universal Law, designing and proposing livelihood programs, etc... hoping my efforts could be noticed and appreciated so I can a little relief from it so I may be able to uplift my life and be able to take my grandchildren to Mcdonald's once in a while. help my daughter but it seems, my luck is still a bit short still. 

They have me a lot of times to perform some task required so I can get some money and a small house but always turned out to be a mock and humiliation. I know what kind of harm I can inflict but I never used these ways in order to meet my personal interest. My journey was to discover the reason why people can get so bad as devils or if that really exists - it was never about the money. If my focus were to garner a lot of money I would be living in style.  I just don't have the personality to deal with finding money because they always instigated in my dignity that I am only after the money while they were the ones collecting and splurging money everywhere.  I overheard Sony Corporation that I help back in the US for arm robbery against them, and asked if the money they are sending to support me reaches me as they might have heard rumors of my treatment.  The USA answered yes with full confidence and honor.  Around 2 weeks ago somebody gave me a car Daphne got and sold it. Hundreds of cars were donated to me as they have said, I never rode one.

I am on their guard 24/7, in the event I fix my finances they steal it before it even gets in my hand. I was ashamed to go and meet today because I had a very small request that wasn't granted. I have all m1% left pride, dignity, and honor that I will never relinquish. If what they are saying is that they are giving me what is due to me they shouldn't be asking me for a lot of requests for me to realize my worth.  They said I should go to the bank to prove that I am aware of what I am. The level of my intelligence, my commitment to what I want to achieve, my integrity as a human, and the little dignity I have left in me make me sometimes want to differ from my belief in good human nature.

I have worked hard to reach where I am at with what I am doing, and it heartens me to think whether I should reclaim my dignity and act like a rogue and destroy it just to get my freedom, dignity, and respect back. I am appealing to everybody to help me resolve this matter as I am on the verge of going crazy and do something I will surely regret. 

George W. Bush Jr, is a curse to humanity. Even if I am a poor man, I will not bow down to him and U.S.A. This is my last warning, and I would rather die destroying your entire nation than live as a man without dignity and honor. My kindness also needs a little reciprocation.

Philip "Mohammad" Blas

[dsorianomusic]

GROWING UP IS HARD

Three years ago I moved into my own place for the first time.

I grew up with my family, lived at college, moved back home, and eventually moved in with a long term girlfriend. We shared an apartment for about seven years. I gave her the money for the rent, but she took care of actually paying all the bills and furnishing the apartment.

She is a very good person, and will make someone a great wife and mother, but our relationship had run its course and we were hanging on to something that needed to be over and done with.

I made the decision to tell her I was moving out while cooking dinner on a Thursday evening. Before I said a word, she could see in my eyes that something was different. In the middle of an argument about something stupid—like usual—I sat there in silence. She stared into my eyes and walked over and placed her hands on knee. The rest is history.

By Monday I was in my new apartment. I was terrified. I had a rental car, air mattress, clothes, and that was about it. My ex was kind enough to give me LOTS of home essentials from our shared apartment that she clearly knew I  didn’t realize I would need.

This was in March 2020, so the first Monday in my new home was at the exact time the COVID pandemic shutdown took place. Looking back, what was I thinking? My ex and I had literally gone pandemic shopping 4 days prior “just in case” and then the unthinkable happened.

I was 32 years old, a grown ass man, and starting over on my own for the first time. I had to grow up fast....

My new place was so quiet. Unbearably quiet.

The deep sense of loneliness that lingered in my apartment was the worst thing I’ve ever felt. On top of that, it was as if every insecurity, depressive episode, and anxious thought I’d ever felt in my entire life had teamed up and come back for revenge. My therapist put me on red alert at his office and put me on a daily anti-depressant.

Alongside the intense mental anguish I was dealing with I had to learn to get my own electricity, lease, car, and everything else that comes with being a self sufficient adult. 

Family, friends, therapy, and medication were the only things that got me through, and I can honestly say that without each of them I would have un-alived myself.

Thankfully, I managed to rise above and grow up.

Growing up is hard.

[questionthebox]

I rejoined the workforce this year,

Out of a self imposed

Year of non work,

Mainly because I wanted a consistent flow

Of

Pussy, Money, & Stuff,

Each time I’ve rejoined life in this way,

It’s like I’m checking up on Humanity,

So what did I find out this year ?

1. Everyone is Miserable, & doesn’t want to work. Everyone is living enclosed condensed lives, devoid of human contact, primarily sexual and mental, work becomes the only means for many to have any meaningful interaction, but because people have mental health issues communicating with others becomes arduous after a while.

2. Pussy, only gives a temporary boost, but god damn does a man need a consistent flow of pussy, because you’ll quickly go crazy without it, it’s easy to spot the crazy men, in this way, but Pussy itself is fleeting because to pussy I am just some random Dick, it’s funny that way, but I fucked this woman in a hotel in Long Beach, & drove home on the freeway at 4am, but she equally drove off into anonymity happy, because she got some random Dick, & it’s like that now, and you can see the desperation on peoples faces, so it’s best to be forward, in getting straight to the Sex.

3. Friends are great, & the rapport is nice. But you have to work daily on friendship now, the world isn’t like how it was, so communication is paramount, friendship now means both being physically present almost constantly, but also dealing with your friends mental health issues and social anguish. & Vice versa, but if you’re patient you can quickly build up some good friends.

4. The United States is becoming a Caste system. Life is now determined really by where you live. Many are anchored by where they are & their lack of access to “movement”

5. Even with “movement” like my corvette, life in the United States is still meaningless and hollow. But it doesn’t bother me nor does it anger me, I can float in virtually every space there is, but I’ll never be anchored anywhere.

6. Matured a lot, grew up really, the process that began at age 25. Crystallized this year In turning 30, because now I’m able to really communicate, but I realize the goal is to leave this country because it’s never going to provide me with a life, wife, kids, home ownership. It only provides homelessness drugs, porn, fast food, so what makes me think it’ll provide me or anyone else with life ?

[georgiapeach30513]

I could read Carter Baizen all day… but only how you write him.

Because Carter Rory Baizen is mostly a calm and loving husband and father. He can go a bit dark to protect his Story book, but "she never knows". If you think for one moment that Story isn't aware of what Carter has done for her, you'd be wrong, but she does let her husband think that. Carter is such an interesting character that can be flawed, but he loves what he has, and I'm not talking about the money. This man LOVES his family! Had him and Story not have their journey, they would be very different spouses. They cherish and appreciate each other so much.

This idea came from @tis-thedamn-season, she wanted to see a date/moment when Story fully let her walls down, and her and Carter became the couple that we know and love. Carter was extremely patient with Story. But...he did know so much that Dayton did in their relationship, and you guys...I haven't even got to their wedding event (because it is a multiple day event, and it's full of so many emotions BEFORE the wedding). I love this Carter so much.

🖤🖤🖤🖤

Macarons

Summary: Carter takes Story on their first official date

Pairings: Carter X Story

Rating: 🥺🥺

Warnings: mentions of PPD and PTSD, vague mentions of Dayton’s abuse, Carter being a touch starved sweet boy, 18+ ONLY

Word Count: 1.8K

Desperate Lives AU Masterlist

Carter Baizen Masterlist

“Ransom…Mr. Drysdale, sir,” Carter stutters standing outside Ransom’s office, holding a chunky Otto who gives his Papa a big giggle.

“I’ve told you Carter,” Ransom responds walking over to the younger man, and he reaches for the giggly baby. “I think you’ve earned the right to call me Ransom. So what do I owe the pleasure of having my daughters two favorite boys?”

“Well…I uh.”

“Come sit down,” Ransom offers a chair before he walks behind his desk. “What are you trying to say.”

“It’s awkward, now that I think about it. But…she let me touch her.”

Ransom stares at the young man who climbed up his daughter’s window, and has never left the estate since. “She always has let you touch her. You two sleep in the same bed. I’m not following.”

“No…more intimately,” without warning a growl moves up Ransom’s throat and he quickly apologizes. “It wasn’t serious but…I love Story. I’m in love with her. And the happiest I have ever been was when we were dating. We did simple things like going to a farmer’s market or a drive. It was just us. And laughter and happiness. I want that. I don’t…I’m gonna marry her. And I want more kids with her, if she wants that, and well…babies need, they’re made…well you know. And I don’t want to skip the good parts.”

“What the hell are you babbling about Carter?”

“I don’t want to just have sex with Story. I want the dating phase back. But this time it won’t be a secret from you. I’ve rented out the aquarium for a few hours tomorrow night. There won’t be anyone there but she’ll get to have some normalcy. Her safety and comfortability is my priority. But I want your blessing. The one I should have asked for years ago. Please.”

“You’re taking my daughter on a date, and you’re being so formal,” Carter shrugs and gives a smile to his son who gurgles out nonsense, smacking at the desk.

“I appreciate this. And everything you’ve done for Story. Her whole life. I don’t think you’ll ever understand what it means to me. I know that it’s been difficult for you guys. She’s dealing with PPD, and some minor PTSD, and just overall a lot of mental anguish. You are patient and steady with her and I know it must be difficult. You’re being what I couldn’t for her mom. I want you to quit walking around on eggshells with me though. I approve of you. So yes, you may take your future wife on a date. And I will watch this handsome boy.”

“Thank you Ransom.”

“Next time don’t bring the baby as a bribing tool.”

___________________________________________

A lot of discomfort came from Story with leaving Otto. Her bright round eyes glossy with tears as she goes through Otto’s schedule. “I left plenty of breast milk in the fridge. Do not micro…”

“You don’t microwave the bag. You microwave the water and let the milk sit in it. I know. Me and your mother raised five kids.”

Her lips pepper kisses all over Otto’s face and she looks worried back to her dad. “What Story book?”

“What if…it’s been awhile since she’s asked to see him, but…”

“Do not worry about Jody. We’ve got a great alarm system. And by the agreement she does not have to know where you, Carter, or Otto is. And you can always check in. He’ll be fine. Even Bladey and Harry are here somewhere. Enjoy your date.”

She steps up to her dad, giving him a kiss on his cheek, “You look beautiful baby. He’s a lucky man to have you.”

“I’m the lucky one,” Story sighs walking over to Carter who is the next to give all the love to their son.

“You keep Mimi and Papa safe, and I’ll keep your mama safe,” Otto giggles and blows bubbles up at his dad. A tiny little reach of his hand, and Carter holds out his finger for Otto to grab.

Taking a deep breath, he kisses on the baby’s forehead, turning to walk away, hand on the small of Story’s back as they go outside. Her eyes stay on the estate as long as possible when Carter finally speaks, “At any point we can go back. We’ll just bring him with us.”

Story releases a pitiful laugh and turns to look at Carter, “I want to do this for us. It is hard, to leave him. I don’t even like watching him through a monitor when…”

“Princess, let’s not talk about that. I don’t want you to get upset. He’s doing great. Crawling, pulling up,” Story over exaggerates a pout looking at him. “I know. Our baby, he’s growing so fast. Saying mama and even dada,” fluttering her eyes closed at the sound of our baby, Carter grabs up her hand to give her knuckles a gentle kiss.

The two falling into a comfortable silence, until a song on the radio has Story softly singing to Carter. When it’s finished they just talk about Otto, before Story stops, “We’re those parents,” she shakes her head laughing. “We’ve gotta get out more. Our conversations should not only revolve around our son.”

“I saw you brainstorming on a new book,” they talk about the story a moment before she’s asking him about his work. Moving on to the topic of movies, music, and everything in between. Conversing about their childhood and funny things that happened.

Upon the arrival to the aquarium, Carter runs to open Story’s door, and they enjoy a nice time with the marine life. The two of them constantly looking at the other instead of the tanks in front of them. Story loving how blue Carter’s eyes look in the lighting, while Carter can’t remember a time when she was more beautiful.

A soft smile always on her face, and when they’re not touching, her hand is always in search of his. More than once she leans over to rest her head on his shoulder. Even sliding her hand up his front, and either resting on his heart or his shoulder. Times like these, he can’t even keep his eyes open to view exhibit.

He had become completely unaware of how much he missed her soft touches. Even the way her perfume lingered on him after she removed her hands. He would never change what he was doing because Story has needed him more as a friend than a lover. But he missed her.

“Carter?” he opens his eyes, and realizes she’s staring right at him. “Carter, what’s wrong? Did…did I do something wrong? You’re crying.”

“Honey, no,” he hadn’t even realized he had been crying. He opens his mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. Gathering her hands he walks her over to the bench. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’m right here.”

“No,” his eyes look all over her face, and he cups her cheek. “This you. The one that made me believe in love. The one that isn’t afraid of touching me, and I’ve missed it so much. But you’ve needed me in a different way.”

“But,” now her eyes are the ones with tears. Looking down from Carter’s usual stoic face, to his hand that’s refusing to touch her. She grabs his free hand, placing it on her leg. “You needed me too.”

“Not like you needed me. Story…I know. I know how Dayton was to you.”

She gives him a pained laugh, and looks back to the tank watching the fish. “I know. That man that came to his house. He used my phone to call you. I’m not broken. I’m not breaking. I’m healing. But,” she gulps and looks back at him. “It hurt you, too.”

“It was happening to you.”

“That’s not what I said.”

“Yes, it hurt me. It scared me. It pissed me off. He didn’t deserve you or Otto. He…I’m not sad about him dying and that scares and liberates me. He can never hurt you again. He took so much from you. Your body language was all over the place with him. And you’ve always been so comfortable with me, and I didn’t know what to do. I was just there waiting on you to tell me,” she laughs through her tears. Knowing all along that Carter would always be there for her.

“Story, this isn’t funny.”

“I know. I’m laughing because I was waiting on you to just hold me like you’ve always done. I’ve always felt safe and like the most important person in the world with you. You would never do the things he did. Or say the things he said. He just…he kept getting worse. And I didn’t know how to get out. How to tell someone that I was scared and living a lie. But you knew. You sent that man.”

“That’s not all I…”

“I love you. And we’re going to put it in the past. Let it live there and let us live now. You wanna have dinner here?”

Smiling he nods, setting up there little picnic. Going back to a less intense conversation. Even Story leans over towards him. Slotting her lips against his. Her body on auto pilot, it begins crawling closer, straddling him. She pulls up his hands to place on her body, and he starts kissing down the column of her neck. With one roll of her hips, she pushes back, and Carter immediately stops.

“We haven’t had dessert. The macarons look good,” picking up one, she places it in her mouth, and sighs. “Almost tastes like they came from Paris.”

He smiles up at her, loving her even more. “We should go. Just you, me, and our son.”

“To get macarons?”

“Well,” he can’t help but chuckle at her, even kissing her nose. “Why else do you go to Paris? We gotta go just for macarons. Let’s get Otto a passport just to make the most expensive dessert run in the world. Even though there’s a few Laudrée’s in New York.”

“We could see some other things. I’d love to hear you speak French again.”

“It’s broken French at best.”

“It’s beautiful. Just like you. Carter, can we go to hotel for a bit before going home?”

“As you wish.”

“No…can we just make out in the car? Or try…more intimate kissing?”

Carter gazes at the only woman he has ever truly loved. Her beauty beyond compare. But the thing that always surprised him, was just how strong she truly was. “If it gets too much, just tell me you’re ready to go to Paris and get macarons.”

“How about just macarons?”

“That works, too.”

Masterlist

[megashadowdragon]

whats the point of yamato

comments on youtube

Here's my take: the Wano Arc is about the "burden of inherited will." By this I mean something like, the burden of upholding the promises and dreams of those who came before. We've seen inherited will as an unambiguously good thing in the series so far, but the Wano Arc is trying to complicate the narrative, by showing what a burden it can be to take on the dreams of those who came before. And this theme isn't just in one storyline, it's laced throughout the Wano Arc, in the motivations of so many characters: * We have Momo struggling with the burden of living up to his father's legacy as a leader, and the burden of the throne of Wano. He's anguished over this, he weeps, because it's a burden to live up to someone as great as his father. * In Oden's flashback, we seem him struggle with the burden of his own father's dreams (that he become the Shogun, settle down, etc), only for him to eventually return and take on the burden of the country (literally, he puts his followers on his back!). * We have the Scabbards struggling with the burden of achieving Oden's dream of opening Wano's borders. They spend twenty years waiting and suffering, or travel across the sea and suffer, all for the sake of their leader's dream. We see Ashura-doji grow bitter under this burden, we see Denjiro mentally break, we see Kine'mon refuse to have a joyful reunion with his wife, all because they suffer under the burden of an inherited dream. * Orochi felt compelled to uphold the will of his ancestors and depose the Kozukis and throw the country into ruin. There's a reason we see his ancestors basically manipulate him into pursuing his path. They pass on their dream to him. * So obviously we have Luffy also taking on the dream of Oden, to defeat Kaido and Orochi, etc. But it's not a coincidence that in this arc we have two characters to whom Ace made promises: Tama and Yamato. They've become part of Luffy's burden, because he inherited Ace's will. (That's one way Yamato fits in) * But we also have Yamato struggling under the burden of a will she does not want to inherit, her father's. He wants her to be imprisoned, literally chained to a will that is not her own. That's quite the burden, I'd say. But there's another will she would prefer to inherit, obviously: Oden's. I think in the conclusion of this arc, we'll see characters (Luffy, probably) say something about inherited will being something chosen, it has to be a burden you choose to bear, not one forced on you. Yamato will probably feature in this conclusion in a few ways: (1) as a character foil to Momonosuke. It's not a coincidence that they're the exact same age and each want to take on the will that was forced on the other. Momo was swept across the world and travelled with Luffy in order to fulfill his role as Oden's son, but he wants to be Shogun. He takes on Kaido's appearance (via his Devil Fruit). Yamato was chained to Onigashima, and wanted nothing more to escape and travel the world with Luffy, but Kaido wants her to become the Shogun. She takes on Oden's appearance. The arc will conclude with something about Yamato and Momo freely entrusting each other with the dreams of their fathers, or something. (2) as a feature in Luffy choosing to uphold Ace's will. By taking her with him and reaffirming a promise with Tama, we'll see Luffy choose to take on Ace's will. In this way, we'll see that what makes a will truly inherited isn't a bond of blood or destiny, it's a bond of friendship, trust, et cetera. Yamato's storyline will be used to punctuate that theme for Luffy and Momo, the actual central characters of this arc.

I feel like Yamato’s storyline is learning about inherited will and not having to actually be someone (Oden) to carry on their will/dreams.

Hannya, which Yamato’s mask is based on, are well known in Japanese theatrical stage culture for representing characters who are the physical manifestation of twisted female souls.

Yamato seems to be inspired by Oscar François de Jarjayes, from the shōjo manga The Rose of Versailles, who is a woman raised by her father as if she were a boy in order to succeed him as the commander of the Royal Guard at the Palace of Versailles. 

an authors comment for chapter 945 oda talked about how he read rose of versailles and was surprised oscar was a woman 

The Shogun must be a male of Seiwa Genji lineage according to Japanese history so this explains why she is referred to as son.  Oda based Yamato on 2 people.  1) Yamato Takeru a crossdressing Japanese prince and 2) Oscar from Rose of Versailles.  Yamato Takeru being the son of Emperor Keiko who crossdressed to kill his enemies.  Oscar being a girl raised as a boy to succeed the throne.  Oda is mixing Japanese folklore with Rose of Versailles to tell a story of Kaido trying to force his daughter to be the Shogun/a boy.  Do you think I rip this from nowhere?  Chapter 945 if I recall correctly on VIZ Oda is on the authors comments speaking on Rose of Versailles.  Yamato wears a Hannya mask which originates from Noh theater and represents female obsession (Oden obsession) and I bet this arc has a theme of deliverance.  Not just deliverance from physical chains but familial bonds as well.  The people who refer to her as “he” miss the underlying themes the Shogun must be male and Kaido is probably upset he has no actual son.  Yamato does not want to be the Shogun and referring to the last chapter Kaido is trying to tell her what her fate is.  The Vivre Cards will not say (Male Heart) like in close reference to Kiku’s card and she will not come out and say “I am a man at heart!”  She uses the pronoun boku which is ambiguous and abnormal which is in reference to the “Oden” funny delusional act she has going on.  Coming chapters will reveal this more and more.  Since the combination of the title card saying daughter -> the Hannya mask -> explosive cuffs and the Shogun theme it was clear she was being bruteforced into something.

Not trying to speak for everyone here, but to say people use "he" because they don't pick up on themes is simply not the case. People use "he/him" pronouns because so far in the story, that is how Yamato has made clear that he would like to be referred to and so people use he/him pronouns out of respect for those desires. I'm not trying to say at all that I disagree with the themes/connections you've mentioned, but to say that you've "cracked the code" and you know better than Yamato on how they should be gendered is disrespectful to them. It may well be the case that everything you said is true and that by the end of the arc Yamato will wish to be referred to with she/her pronouns, but like I said to just assume this before it actually happens is disrespectful. Imagine refusing to use he/him pronouns for a trans-man because you know that their father always wanted a son and assuming their desire to use these pronouns only exists to validate their fathers wishes. I'm not trying to draw a one to one equivalence with this example, I get that One Piece is a story where information does just exist but is introduced with a specific purpose, I just hope I can better explain why many people believe he/him are the correct pronouns to use for Yamato at this time. Frankly, I think the presence of Kiku as a trans-women in this arc might be odas way of setting up the exact scenario you mentioned with yamato while still making sure he doesn't come across as invalidating trans identities. Hopefully that makes sense. Again I'm not trying to be argumentative, only trying explain why many people believe it is more respectful to use he/him pronouns at this time for yamato DESPITE the themes you've mentioned.

Quick fact check: Oscar wasn't raised as a boy to succeed the throne, she was a raised as a boy to become commander of the royal guards

This might not be accurate as I'm just saying off the top of my head but in a way, Yamato might represent wano itself. She was chained up and abused by Kaido like he does to wano in a sense.

Yamato is literally old name of Japan, lol

  Yamato by taking Oden legacy she is impersonating the man who's the main representation of wano to the world 

On a larger scale we are fighting to save wano from kaido

On a individual scale Yamato who disguises as Oden who represents wano is fighting to save herself from kaido 

It's like NAMI all over again 

A girl who is representing an entire population and territory is fighting to save herself and the people and territory she represents from a fish that keeps her and her territory enslaved

Her not being part of the mainland is symbolic to Wano exactly lol, isolated from the other world and chained there by Kaido for decades. She, like the people of Wano, has this black and white perception of Oden that they blindly follow without looking into why he did what he did. Even now people are putting Momo on some pedestal worth dying for without understanding who he is, similar to their past expectations of Oden for his dad. Yamato is doing the same with her declaration of dying for him based solely on his dad and the stuff in the journal.

Yamato's development seems to fall in parallel to Momo. Momo had to deal with the expectations of being Oden's son and his people want him to be just like Oden they don't see Momonosuke Kozuki. 

On the other hand Yamato similarly was thrust with a path set by Kaido her father but wants to be Oden this person who inspired Yamato to the point of worship that every action is posed with the question "what would Oden do."

The climax of both their arcs might be to just choose to be who they are and act as they would do not as their predecessors as they both could never be Oden for instance.

I sort of dislike how some people act like Yamato realizing not to “be oden” and Yamato joining the strawhats are mutually exclusive

if yamato does join the strawhats and is the 11th that would confirm the idea that yamato isnt trans  she just cosplays as oden due to idolizing him if you believe the MFMM theory due to people noticing that in east blue  the recruitment went zoro, nami, usopp, and sanji  in grand line it was chopper, robin, franky and brook a male female male male .

jinbe is the 10th who joined in new world  ( the male ) and it fits for him to be followed by the 11th a woman . ( so if yamato joins the strawhats and is the 11th ( meaning carrot doesnt join)  yamato isnt trans 

if yamato and carrot both join then yamato really is a transman

both okiku and yamato wore hannya masks

after okiku put on a hannya mask she revealed that she was a man in body but a woman in heart and a hannya mask represents female demon 

yamato was introduced as kaidos son while in a hannya mask but after she took it off revealed she was his daughter

"Yamato" (大和やまと?), meaning "Great Harmony", is an ancient name for Japan (originating from the Yamato Province) and can can also refer to the Yamato period of Japanese history, which lasted into the 8th century. Relating to that, Yamato is the dynastic name of the ruling Imperial House of Japan and further refers to the dominant ethnic group of Japan, the Yamato people. Otherwise:

Yamato Takeru is a legendary Japanese prince of the Yamato dynasty, prominent in mythology.

Yamato is the name of a prominent WWII-era Japanese battleship.

Yamato nadeshiko is a phrase that refers to the idealized image of a Japanese female.

[absurdthirst]

Hey, love! I don't really know what I'm looking for by sending this ask but you're so good with giving advice and you are so wise and kind I thought I should shoot it, but you don't have to answer if it makes you uncomfortable or if it's tmi or if you just don't want to. My grandpa has cancer, he's been suffering for over two years and there are no more treatments available for his disease. His wife has a bunch of other serious health issues, including Parkinson's, and she's become partially blind, so she's also suffering a lot. Both of them are slowly but surely getting worse and it's breaking my heart to see them like this and to see my family suffering so much for feeling helpless and for being forced to watch their biggest role models becoming so frail. Is it wrong of me to hope that their suffering doesn't last for much longer? It's taking a seeable toll on their mental health and straining their marriage and I feel like my family is close to not being able to handle it anymore. I don't know, you know? And I've never lost anyone who was close to me, so I'm feeling bad for feeling a little detached out of fear of grief?? I feel like me and my family are trapped in a deep well of anguish and I just don't know how much longer we can take it :(

No. It’s not wrong of you. It’s a completely natural thing.

I lost my grandfather from pancreatic cancer December 27th 2017.

We watched a strong, vibrant man just wither away, even though he was fighting as hard as he could. (I live 9 hours from my family) But there were many times where my mom would call me crying and ask the same question. To this day, the loss of my grandfather hits hard, but I am so glad he is not suffering or just hanging on and not really living.

It comes down to not wanting to see them suffer. You know they are in pain and you want that to stop. Dealing with one loved one suffering is hard, but two?

I don’t think anyone would fault you for wishing them to no longer suffer. Quality of life is a real thing that needs to be taken into account and that’s what you are doing. You want them to pass peacefully so they will not longer be burdened with the pain and heartache of the diseases they suffer from.

I have a good ability to detach myself. It protects me at times and lets me view it rationally, but don’t live in that too often. It can just be avoiding grief as well.

I am sending you warm and soothing thoughts and hope that they will pass as peacefully as possible when their time comes.

[lia-jones]

Growing Together - Chapter Twenty- One - Ghostlight

To my grandmother Mina, who inspired this character. Thank you for never leaving me alone. I am who I am because of you.

The next morning was not an ordinary morning. It was a morning heavy with doubts and despair. For how can a parent endure the threat of having their own child ripped from their arms? How can someone deal with such a loss?

Victor, however, was characteristically proficient in setting his feelings aside, focusing only on the solution. He would have to find a way to keep his son safe, and he would have to find it fast, as he couldn’t bear to see his wife like this, riddled with worry. As soon as he felt her breath become even and deep, the exhaustion of the day winning over fear, he decided he would use the quiet of the dark to think of a solution. He spent the night on his leather sofa, whiskey in hand, surrounded by every legal book he owned, in search of an epiphany. He wouldn’t be able to sleep anyway. He would sleep later, enjoying the glow of his happy wife, when they had solved the matter at hand.

As the sunbeams started to touch the wooden floors of the spacious living room, Victor rose his eyes from the pages filled with legal terms, sighing both in exhaustion and frustration. The lawyers would know better than him, anyway. At that moment, his most pressing matter was waking up his family and feeding them properly, but not before texting his assistant to schedule a meeting with his personal legal team at the earliest opening.

He was surprised to find the bed empty and neatly made. He entered the bathroom only to find it untouched, no fog from a hot shower, no towels used. In fact, the bathroom smelled like it had just been cleaned.

“Andy?” He called again, hearing some noise from the other side of the hall.

The laundry room was warm compared to the rest of the apartment, a strong scent of fabric softener lingering in the air. Victor was surprised to see several baskets filled with folded freshly clean laundry on the laundry room’s counter.

“You did all this? How long have you been here?”

“Owen needs his soccer gear clean by tomorrow.” She answered from behind the dryer’s door.

“You didn’t need to do all this. You could have asked the housekeeper.” He helped her hold it, taking a few steps back to stretch it.

“I couldn’t sleep and you weren’t there.” Andrea focused on folding one of Owen’s t-shirts. “And there is no use thinking about that woman, there is nothing I can do about her. This, I can do.”

“Ok, forget about the laundry. Come here.” Victor took her hand gently.

“I mean, I can’t make him stay, but I can do his laundry, right?” Her voice faltered slightly.”At least I can do that. I get to be his mom for now.”

Victor slowly wrapped his arms around his wife, enveloping her in a soothing embrace.

“We will solve this, there is nothing to be worried about.” He held her tightly, whispering into her hair.

“She’s his grandmother, his blood. No judge will refuse her custody.” She spoke into his chest, and he could feel her tears staining his sweater. “There’s nothing we can do.”

“There is plenty we can do. We’ll talk to the legal team today.”

He swayed gently, almost lulling her to calmness. It was evident that this was extremely painful for her, her last shot at motherhood, and still they were struggling. After a while, he felt her relax a little. He gently took her chin and lifted it, making her look at him.

“Go take a shower and get dressed. I’ll prepare a nice breakfast for us and get Owen ready, ok?” He kissed her temple, as his hand guided her by the small of her back towards their bedroom.

Andrea entered the bedroom and stepped into the shower, hearing his husband turn on the mixer in the kitchen. She couldn’t care less about breakfast, she wasn’t even sure she would be able to eat. Part of her was angry at Victor for being so calm while she felt like the faintest breeze would make her fall apart. She understood what he was doing, he was being strong for her. He was putting aside his own feelings for her benefit, he was ignoring his own fear to deal with hers, but that was not what she wanted. Part of her wanted him to cry with her, so she wouldn’t feel so unhinged. So… alone.

With a sigh, she turned on the hot water, letting it slide gently over her body, washing away the tension and the tears. Victor was in fight mode, that’s what it was. He would not let that woman take their son, and Andrea would fight for him too, with all her might, but… She wasn’t sure they should. Pamela was Owen’s family, the family he didn’t know he had. If he was at the orphanage and she showed up, it would be a reason for joy, not sorrow. Who were they to take him from his biological family, under the pretense that they got to him first? What if Pamela really had turned her life around, and wanted to give a good life to Owen? With his grandmother, he would learn more about his mother, about his past, about his culture. He would know where he got his red curls from or his sweet brown eyes. Although Andrea and Victor could provide him a good future, all they had from his past was some old pictures and his mother’s suicide letter, which she probably wrote in desperation. Maybe Rebecca would have forgiven her mother if she was in a better place mentally.

On another hand, although she hated to admit it, she felt exhausted. She let herself believe that she could be a mother, only to fail miserably. Her body was the first to betray her, with a bleeding womb and lifeless eggs, and now society was failing her as well, taking away her adoptive son. Maybe she should accept the fact that it would never happen, and stop trying altogether. She made herself sick for feeling this way, but she couldn’t help it. She had gone through so much hurt, fought so hard already. Laying down the sword and relinquishing the battle seemed like the only feasible option now. Maybe the wise choice would be to let go of Owen and just embrace her fate.

Her heart shrunk with guilt as she walked into the kitchen to find Victor and Owen happily bantering, preparing breakfast together. They were so happy. If there was a higher power, how could it not want them to have that?

“Mom! Mom! Look what I did for you!” Owen showed her a plate of pancakes, bananas, and pecans carefully placed on top of the stack, resembling a smiley face. “Dad made the pancakes, but I cut the fruit.”

“Good morning, my little Bug!” She held him tight, fighting away tears. “That looks amazing!”

“You weren’t feeling well last night, so I wanted to surprise you!” The boy smiled widely at her. “Are you feeling better today?”

Andrea mustered all her strength, wanting to keep that smile on that sweet little boy’s face. Now, more than ever, she didn’t want him to see her sad.

“I’m feeling so much better just looking at you.” She pulled him to her, giving her son the tightest hug. “I’m starving, I could eat you and your pancakes.” She pretended to bite him, Owen laughing loudly as he tried to evade his mother’s attack.

It was a morning heavy with doubts and despair, but they would try to fill it with happiness and love. For that boy, the parents decided to put their own anguish aside and live in that happy moment, jesting and laughing, discussing whatever childish topics he wanted to talk about.

Victor and Andrea looked at each other, both catching the other’s worried gaze. With a smile, they held hands, fingers locking together in reassurance. Whatever battle they had ahead, they would do it together, for the sake of their happiness. For the sake of their son. For that brief moment, they allowed themselves to hope. They weren’t alone. They had each other.

The lawyers were already waiting for them in LFG’s conference room, as instructed. Andrea sat on the chair beside him as Victor observed her carefully, trying to remember if he ever saw her this defeated, eyes sunken and sad, a tired expression, like she was carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders. Victor’s stomach shrank with worry, but he swiftly used the feeling to feed his fury instead.

“Did you see the documents I sent you this morning? What is your insight?” He asked the lawyers, unwilling to waste any more time.

“We still need to study the adoption laws more thoroughly, but so far we found no inconsistencies.” One of the lawyers spoke carefully. “According to the law, the grandmother has parental rights, she is the child’s next of kin.”

Victor grew agitated, as that was not the answer he was hoping for. In his mind, there shouldn’t be a law that would allow anyone to remove a child from his family like that, adoptive or not. He fought the temptation to rub his temples, wanting to look strong in front of his wife.

“In that case, what can be done?”

“As I said, we will analyze it in more detail, but so far, all indicates that the judge will decide in her favor.” The lawyer explained. “We need a good strategy in court, evidence that the child’s best interest is to remain with the adoptive family, instead of a blood relative. That letter you sent us may win us the case.”

“What letter?” He heard his wife ask. He chose to ignore her question.

“Let me know when you have something else.” He got up from his chair. “We are done for now.”

The lawyers quickly followed his lead, all leaving the room. Andrea, however, sat in place, eyes gazing at him coldly.

“Is it the suicide letter Rebecca left?” She insisted.

Victor sat down again with a sigh, taking his wife’s hand.

“You don’t need to worry about this.” He gave her a reassuring look. “Leave it all to me.”

“You are going to use the suicide letter that Owen’s biological mother wrote right before her death?” She sounded disgusted. “Do you realize Owen will probably be in the room when they read it?”

“As a last resort.” He was adamant in his decision. “Hopefully it won’t come to that.”

“Will you really use such a hurtful event for Owen just to win?” She removed her hand from his, not looking him in the eyes. “Do you know what that will do to our son?”

“I will do whatever it takes to keep him with us, where he belongs.” He declared coldly. “I thought you wanted that too.”

“So you’ll scar him forever just to win? What if he doesn’t belong to us? No matter how hard it is for us, he found his family. He has a grandmother.”

“Yes, he has a selfish and abusive grandmother, whom his mother tried hard to keep away from him!” Victor got up, feeling his blood start to boil. “Is that the person you think our son should be with? Is that the family you think he should have? The same person that scarred his mother so deeply she felt no choice but to end her life?”

“She turned her life around, she wants to do well by her grandson.” Andrea replied. “She made a mistake, she paid dearly for it, she lost her daughter, her own family, and she will have to live with that pain. Who are we to say she doesn’t deserve a second chance?”

“You are defending her?” Victor asked, incredulous. Andrea confirmed it with her silence. “You are a fool to believe a single word that comes from that woman’s mouth.” He shot back bitterly.

“And you are selfish to think you are entitled to decide important things about other people’s lives for them. Victor!” Her eyes were pleading. “I am not defending anyone, if anything I’m defending Owen! I love that boy, I would give my life for him, but I can’t just decide he’s better off with me! I have to think about what’s better for him, even if it hurts me. I have to consider what he needs!”

“What he needs?!?” Victor almost yelled. “It’s incredible how gullible you can be! She walks into your office, tells you some pathetic sob story, and you fall for it? You should have fought for our son right then, put her in her place, instead of holding her hand and showing sympathy!”

Andrea paused, eyes wide in disbelief.

“You blame me for this?”

“I’ve seen you challenge adversity with a strength I could never find in another woman. I’ve seen you turn your life around, fight for what you want, face your abuser with commendable determination.” Victor spoke softly. “I don’t understand why you won’t be as strong for your son. For us.”

Victor had never touched a woman in anger, and he would never lay a hand on the person that he devoted his entire life to. However, at that moment, looking into her eyes, he felt like he had slapped his wife hard, so much that he could almost feel his hand sting. Still, he couldn’t feel sorry for what he had said. Her apathy was infuriating. She didn’t even fight back, try and prove him wrong. She simply blinked away a few tears and turned to the door.

“You know, you say I always see the best in things. Wishful thinking, you call it.” She spoke in a hoarse voice.

“Andy…”

“I can’t see anything good now.”

She wasn’t quite sure how she left that conference room, she felt like floating out of her own body, legs moving on their own accord. She arrived at LCG, hoping no one would notice she had been crying. Entering her office, she sat at her desk, her mind way too busy to work.

This had happened before, she could remember, this conflict of ideas. Victor was adamant in what he considered to be the right thing and left very little leeway for other options. He would easily mistake Andrea’s inertia for lack of interest, not considering that she wasn’t so quick to assume she knew what was right, she needed the time to consider the feelings of everyone involved.

In Andrea’s eyes, Victor’s inflexibility didn’t make him a bad man. She actually loved that her husband had such solid values that he expected people to follow, especially himself. He was a steady pillar in her life, doing whatever it took to keep her safe, and although sometimes it would lead to arguments, Andrea was thankful for that. It was one of the things that made her love him, how selfless and loving he could be.

But this time, things had gone too far. His determination was blinding him, and he was lashing out in the ugliest of ways: he was blaming her. It was so unfair, she stood up for him so many times, how could he tell her she never fought for him? It was like Victor couldn’t see her efforts, would not acknowledge her love, unless they were provided in his own terms. Again, like she did before their wedding, Andrea wondered if she was the right person for him, if they belonged together. She almost wanted to punch him for being so oblivious. How could he not see that she would go to the moon and back while bleeding herself dry for him?

“Is everything ok?” Diane asked as she walked into her office, interrupting her thoughts. “Henry called asking for you, says he saw you leaving the conference room crying.”

Andrea felt his eyes water once again.

“We had a fight.” She confessed.

“How bad was it?”

Andrea’s heart tightened in her chest.

“The worst ever.”

Diane sat on the chair facing Andrea’s desk with a sigh.

“Look, you and Victor are in a lot of stress right now, with that bitch wanting to take Owen.” Diane spoke calmly. “Emotions run high, people say things they don’t mean.”

“He blames me for it.” Andrea declared bitterly. “He says I didn’t fight hard enough.”

“Damn.” Diane whispered.

“Yeah.”

“Goldman says he canceled all his meetings and asked to be left alone. He’s not even taking calls.” Diane’s statement only made Andrea feel worse. “He’s probably beating himself up for it. You know he doesn’t believe that.”

“Maybe not.” Andrea shook her head. “It doesn’t matter anyway.”

“I think the best you can do is give you both time to calm down and reflect. Focus on work, maybe, let him cool off. You can talk to him later.” Her friend advised.

Andrea stared at her phone, considering her friend’s words. She should call him, talk things through. Even if he believed she should have been harsher with Pamela, even if he thought she wasn’t fighting hard enough, he would never hurt her like this willingly. He loved her, she knew that much. They could sort things out, with a cooler head, and everything would be ok. She would be able to show him her perspective, and she would listen to his, and they would make a compromise. They had to. Their marriage was at stake. However, it was probably wiser to wait for the dust to settle.

In the meantime, she would try her best to focus on work, although her mind kept wandering back to the CEO on the top floor. She couldn’t help but glance at her phone, hoping it would ring, his face appearing in the called ID. However, a watched kettle never boils, and for Andrea, the kettle was her phone that kept stubbornly silent. Eventually, the clock on her computer signaled lunchtime, and on a normal day, her husband would call her to see if they could have lunch together. However, her phone didn’t budge.

It was overwhelming. She was at risk of losing her son and her marriage was hanging by a thread. She felt like she had no place to fall on. She was losing her footing, her ground, her pillar. Tears came without her realizing, and she released them with loud sobs that she stifled with her sleeve. She was exhausted, she couldn’t do it anymore. She needed her husband. She didn't care for an apology, she just needed to hold him; she needed them to be well again, at least as well as they could.

She got up and took her purse, decided to go to LFG and invite her husband for lunch. She had no idea how that would go, but she would take a chance. The moment she closed the door to her office, her phone rang.

Several floors up, Victor was in a debate with himself. He missed her, he was worried about her, but the guilt and the shame were freezing him in place. He had acted imperiously, making all the decisions by himself, disregarding everyone around him. Andrea could be at fault, but he was at fault too. She didn’t deserve the things he had told her.

He recalled their moment in the laundry that morning. It was clear that Andrea’s reticence wasn’t because she didn’t love her son. She loved him deeply, he was sure of that. She simply wanted him to be happy, even if she was unhappy. Victor wanted to win, while Andrea wanted Owen not to lose. Because he had lost so much already. This was her dream, to have a family, and she would willingly give it up so Owen had the family he needed. That’s how selfless she really was.

He couldn’t help but clench his hands in anger, what an idiot he had been. Now, more than ever, it was important that they were in this together. She needed him and he needed her. It didn’t matter who folded, he didn’t care if he took the first step, there should be no place for ego or pride in their relationship. He almost lost her once, he couldn’t lose her now. He wouldn’t. He took his phone, ready to call her. But before he could, he heard a knock at the door.

“What now?” He replied, frustrated.

It was her. Her eyes were swollen, her nose red. She had been crying.

“Andrea…” He wanted to go to her, to hold her, but for some reason… He didn’t.

She let out a loud sob, like someone had stabbed her in the heart, tears falling freely. That was enough to make Victor jump from his chair. He didn’t want to make her cry like that.

“Please don’t cry.” He hugged her tightly. “I hate to see you cry.”

“Victor.” She looked up at him, her lip trembling. “Your aunt called.”

Victor stared at his wife, confused. What did his aunt have to do with anything?

“She said…” Andrea trailed off, her throat too tight to speak. “Mina passed away this morning.”

He felt the floor sway under him, taking all the strength he had not to fall apart there and then. And despite their argument, despite all the hurt there was between them, she held on tight to him and kept him steady, giving him solace as emotion took over reason, giving him strength as his body shook. That’s when I knew I had kept my promise.

Life is like a play, I read somewhere. We are the characters that God created, and although we don’t have a script, we do have a role. Mine was to love that little boy. Even though he wasn’t mine, he was the thing I had of mine the most. And the scene I replayed the most in my head, during the whole play that was my life, was the one of a lonely boy leaning on my kitchen counter, after seeing his mother leave the house to live in another country.

“Everybody leaves me, Mina.” He said in a very low voice, almost like he was ashamed to admit it.

“That’s not true, Hummingbird.” I caressed his raven hair. “Your mother isn’t gone forever, and you can visit her whenever you want.”

“Why can’t I go with her?” He asked bitterly. “It’s not like he cares about me. She was the only one who cared. And now she’s leaving.”

“You shouldn’t fill that little heart of yours with the worries of adults.” I smiled, although my heart was breaking for that little boy. “And hey, I know I may not be much, but I’m here. I care.”

“I care for you too.” He looked at me with honest eyes. “You are my best friend, Mina. Without you, I would be alone.”

“My sweet hummingbird.” I hugged him as tight as I could. “Hey, let’s make a deal. I promise I will always be here for you, so you’ll never have to be alone. For your whole life, Victor, whenever you feel alone, you can come to me, just like you do now.”

“You won’t be here my entire life.” His eyes were sad. “You will die, eventually.”

“Then I promise I will only die when I know you’ll have someone else that will never leave you alone.”

“You can’t promise that. You won’t be able to keep it.” He challenged me.

“I can and I am. You’ll see.”

As I watched her caress his cheek, his hair, whispering comforting words, I knew my boy would be ok. Even in the darkest of times, my Hummingbird would be safe, because he had his light.

As for me, I was just a ghostlight, shining on the stage of this Universe, waiting for another play to come.

[slytherinbarnes]

Sub Rosa [30]

i. wanheda, pt 1

Pairing: Bellamy Blake x reader

Word Count: 7.9k

Warnings: smut! fighting, blood, mentions of past assault, death.

Summary: three months gave passed since the events at mount weather, and things have changed so much in that time: your friendships, relationships, living situation. despite clarke’s absence, life has been good. until you receive news that not only is clarke alive, she’s being hunted.

a/n: happy season three premiere!!!! thank you for all the kind words on season two (and sub rosa in general!!!) you have all made me smile so much! this season is the longest to date, so I hope you’re all ready! we’re starting off with a longer chapter update too, so I hope you all enjoy! the taglist for this series is open! I hope you enjoy, please let me know what you think!!!

previous chapter // season masterlist // series masterlist

5 days after Mount Weather

“Tell me about Shumway.”

“Tell me about dad,” you counter.

Your mother and Kane keep neutral expressions as they watch you, and you squirm in your seat, uncomfortable with the topic at hand. They exchange a look and after a second, your mother nods. “What do you want to know?”

“Did dad know you were going to turn him in?”

“Yes.” Though you had started to suspect that would be her answer, it still knocks the breath out of you. “It was his idea actually.”

Your head drops, thinking of your misplaced blame since he died, when it was his idea all along. Just like Finn, turning himself in to save the rest of you. When you lift your head again, tears glitter in your mom’s eyes, and you know your eyes mirror hers. “Right after your arrest, your dad told me that this was the only way to save you. He’d known about the oxygen problem for a few days, and he had already told me about it, though he didn’t tell me about his plans to go public until then.”

She stands, walking around the council table to kneel in front of you, taking your hands. “We knew there was no other way to save you. So he traded his life for yours.”

“A life for a life,” you whisper, looking down at your joined hands. 

She squeezes your hand and whispers, “Now tell us about Shumway.”

You stand abruptly from the chair, spinning out of her grip and starting to pace, your body tense and anxious. 

“Shumway was the lowest form of scum there is.” You practically spit the words at them. “He was the one who discovered me. Before he ratted me out, he said he wanted to make a deal. Become his plaything, and I’m safe. Our secret is safe. My family would be safe.”

You feel tears spill from your eyes and roll down your cheeks, and you shake your head. “But I couldn’t do it, didn’t want to. And when I fought back, he turned me in.”

You take a deep breath to steady you, sparing a glance over at your mother, who’s now watching you in pure anguish. “After that, I thought that was it, that I’d never see him again. But then on the day of dad’s execution, Shumway came to my cell. I didn’t even know dad had been arrested. But he told me that he could get me there so that I could say goodbye, I just had to agree to his original deal.”

Your mom steps towards you, and you lift your hand to your wrist, brushing your fingers over the watch that belonged to your father. “This time I said yes.”

You angrily wipe away your tears as you remember that day. “But I didn’t make it in time, Shumway made sure of that. I came around the corner right as they sent dad into space. After that, I lost it and tried to attack Shumway. They sent me to solitary because they said I was too much trouble. Shumway came to visit me whenever he wanted, and I tried to tell the other guards what was happening to me, but no one believed me. He abused me physically, mentally, and emotionally for months. It was hell.”

Your mom steps towards you and reaches out for you, pulling you into a hug. You can hear her sobs as she holds you, the comfort forcing your tears to start up again, finally able to mourn and cope the way that you never could before. After a minute, she releases you from her hold, but stays close to you. “The night before we made it into Tondc with Finn’s body, I had a nightmare. When I woke up, I swear I saw dad, leading me to a clearing to look at the stars.”

You drop your gaze to your feet, hoping that they don’t think you’re unhinged. “Shumway followed me out there and tried to tell me that I still belonged to him, but I fought back. Bellamy showed up and we were starting to leave, to come get you two, actually, when Shumway attacked him. I tried to pull them apart, keep them separate, but he knocked me to the side. By the time I looked up again, Shumway had his gun out, aimed at Bellamy.”

Your gaze lifts and lands on Kane, determination set in your jaw. “I don’t even remember pulling the knife out, but I couldn’t let him kill Bellamy. Afterwards, I freaked out about killing him, but I was worried that it would’ve derailed the treaty and getting my friends out of Mount Weather, so I forced Bellamy to help me hide the body, and I swore to him that I'd tell you after everyone was safe.”

You lock eyes with Kane, wanting him to understand what you have to say. “This is all my fault. Bellamy is completely innocent in all of this, a victim really.”

Kane stands from his seat, and lets out a quiet sigh. He places his palms resolutely on the table in front of him, looking down and thinking hard about your punishment. Your gaze drops to your feet, ready to accept it, whatever it is, as long as Bellamy is kept out of it. After a long moment of silence, you can hear Kane readying to speak.

“Will you join the guard?”

Your head snaps up so hard your neck cracks. “What?”

“Will you join the guard?”

“I don’t understand, aren't you going to punish me?”

Kane shakes his head, coming around the table to stand closer to you, and you watch him exchange a look with your mother. “Shumway did terrible things to you under our watch. We failed you, and I’m sorry about that.”

Your mom grabs your hand. “What you did was an act of survival, to save you and Bellamy both. We’ve pardoned others for much worse than what you did.”

Finn. You shake your head in disbelief. “So, that’s it then?”

“Yes.” Kane steps back and gestures toward the door, “You’re free to go, as soon as you answer my question.”

“I’ll do it.”

His face splits into a grin. “Great, you start training tomorrow.”

-

Two weeks after Mount Weather

Your swords clang together in a clash of metal on metal, both of you letting out a grunt as you try to overcome the other’s strength. Knowing that Octavia has the advantage, you drop down, freeing your sword, before reaching out your other hand and swiping at her legs. The force sends her onto her back, and she lands with a groan. 

You stand, smiling down at her annoyed expression. You feel your smile drop, worried about the incoming criticism, when she grins. “Took you long enough.”

You let out a surprised laugh as you lean down and pull her to her feet. Once she’s upright, she sheaths her sword and gestures towards the mess hall, “Let’s eat.”

You smile and follow her to there, talking the whole way over about everything and nothing. When you get there, you run into Lincoln, drenched in sweat, clearly post training. He smirks at you, “Did your boyfriend wimp out on me or something?”

You shake your head, downing a cup of water before looking at him. “What are you talking about?”

“We were supposed to spar today, but he never showed.”

You lower your cup, and your brows lift in surprise. “He didn’t show up?”

He shakes his head and you set your cup to the side. “That’s not like him.”

Lincoln just shrugs, inviting you and Octavia over to eat with him, but you wave them off. “I’m gonna go find Bellamy.”

“See ya later.”

You jog out of the mess hall and make a beeline for Bellamy’s place, stopping outside the door and lifting your hand to knock. As you do, you swear you hear a muffled sob from the other side. You feel your panic rise before you knock softly. “Bellamy?”

The crying stops, the room behind the door falling into silence, and you realize Bellamy has no intention of opening the door. “Bellamy it’s me, can I come in?”

You’re once again met by silence, and you debate walking away, leaving him to be alone if that’s what he wants, but the nagging feeling in your gut tells you to do the opposite. “Okay, I’m coming in!”

You open the door and step inside, eyes falling on a figure sitting up in bed, swiping at his eyes, trying to hide the tears on his face. But as soon as his gaze locks with yours, the emotion spills over again, and he starts to cry softly. 

You quickly close the door and the space between you, sitting down on the bed beside him and trying to decide the best way to comfort this new side of Bellamy. He looks over at you, a sob breaking free from his chest before he whispers, “I keep seeing their faces. Maya, Vincent, all those people who helped us, kept us alive. Dead, because of what I did.”

You reach out and grab his hand, and his eyes follow the movement before lifting to your face. You shake your head. “What we did, Bellamy. All three of us pulled that lever. We did what we had to do to save our people. That doesn’t always make it easier, but that’s not the outcome that any of us wanted.”

He nods his head and wipes away his tears again before asking, “Will you stay with me?”

“Of course, Bell.”

He pulls back the covers and you both slide inside, turning to lay on your sides and face each other. He pulls the covers up as high as he can, and you both watch each other silently for a long while, drawing in comfort from each other, trying to forget what you’ve had to do to survive. Eventually, he whispers, “Tell me about the stars.”

You look at him with affection and nod. “There’s one that always made me laugh growing up, and it’s the story about Cancer, the crab. Zeus had a son, one that I know you’ve heard of before, Hercules.”

Bellamy nods, familiar with the legend, watching you with quiet intensity. “Well Hera, Zeus’ wife, was jealous of Hercules and the love that Zeus had for him, so she gave him 12 labors to test his strength and courage. She picked tasks that were difficult, if not impossible, for the average man, in the hopes that Hercules would fail and lose Zeus’ favor. The second of these labors was to kill the Hydra, a beast with nine heads. If you cut one of the nine heads off, two more would grow back in its place. Of course, Hercules figured out how to defeat the Hydra: cut the head off and seal the wound with fire, making it impossible for the heads to grow back. When Hera saw this, she panicked and sent a crab to grab Hercules on the heel and distract him from the fight, thus making him lose. Instead, when the crab latched onto his foot, Hercules used his other foot to stomp on the crab and crush it, ruining Hera’s distraction. He defeated the Hydra and proceeded to the next labor, but not before Zeus put the crab in the stars, partially to immortalize the success of Hercules, but also to remind Hera of her failure.”

The corner of Bellamy’s mouth lifts in a smile, so small that you almost miss it. You smile back and he whispers, “Can you tell me another one?”

“Of course I can.”

-

4 weeks after Mount Weather

Things are better between you and your mother, the truth about your father and Shumway no longer a secret, the heart to heart working to improve your relationship. But better doesn’t mean fixed. 

“You just let her go! Do you realize the danger you’ve put her in?”

“I know, mom! I get it, okay? I regret letting her leave as soon as she was out of sight, but there’s only so much I could do. This is what Clarke wanted.”

“I don’t care what she wanted! You are both still kids, and-”

You cut her off, “We haven’t been kids since we got down here. The sooner you realize that, the better.”

You turn and storm off, slamming the door to your shared quarters and heading across the camp to Bellamy’s. He lets you in as soon as soon he sees you, anger still billowing off you in waves. He ushers you inside and over to his bed, patting it and inviting you to sit. You do so with a huff and grind out, “I should have known that peace would be short lived with us.”

“Your mom?”

“I can’t take it anymore, Bellamy, she’s driving me crazy! We fight every few days about Clarke, and it doesn’t help that we’re stuck in the same room. I think I'd rather be back in that damn tent with Clarke. Or sleeping in a tree.”

Bellamy snorts, remembering your preferred sleeping location. “Why don’t you just move in here?”

You turn to him with a surprised expression. “With you?”

You can see him fighting back a smirk as he quips, “That was the plan, unless you’d like to share a room with some other guy.”

“That’s not what I meant.”

He laughs, “I know.”

You hesitate, thinking it over, looking at him with skepticism. “Are you sure?”

“I don’t know, are you a blanket hog?”

You keep your face serious. “No, never!”

“Then yes, I’m sure.” You launch yourself at him suddenly, both of you falling back onto the bed with happy laughter. “I’ll take that as a yes.”

-

5 weeks after Mount Weather

Kane stands in front of you and Bellamy, both of you wearing matching guard jackets and neutral expressions. “You can both assist the others on the supply run to Mount Weather today.”

Your expression drops, mouth pulling down into a frown. “No.”

Kane turns towards you, surprised, until he sees your expression. You mutter, “It’s too soon. For both of us. What can we do instead?”

“Abby has asked me to form a team to search for Clarke. I was waiting to find the best people for the job, but who better than the two people closest to her?”

“I’m in.”

“Me too.”

“Good.” He smiles and hands you a rolled up map. “It’s up to you to plan the searches. Just remember: peace with the Grounders is fragile.”

-

6 weeks after Mount Weather

He stands in front of you, shirtless, shifting from side to side on his feet, hands up in defense. “I hope you know that I’m not going to go easy on you.”

You lunge forward, swiping your leg at his feet and knocking him flat on his back. You can hear the others snickering behind you. “I hope you know that I won’t either.”

You scramble backwards as Bellamy launches himself at you, barely avoiding the arms that reach out for you. He jumps to his feet and you swing a punch at him, which he dodges easily. You duck under the fist he sends flying at you in return, using the move to toss a punch to his exposed abdomen. He grunts in pain before using your move on you, and knocking you off your feet and onto your back. He’s on top of you in a second, pinning your arms to the ground and grinning down at you like the cheshire cat. “Admit defeat.”

You knee him in the leg, the force of it knocking him off balance, and you use the distraction to roll you both over until you’re on top of him, pinning him to the ground. “You first.”

A smile spreads across your face at your advantage, until you see a spark of something in his eye, a mischievous glint that lights a small fire within you. You don’t have time to question it because Lincoln yells, “It’s a draw! Monroe, Harper, you two are up tomorrow.”

Lincoln’s voice pulls you out of your head and you roll off of Bellamy, both of you still staring at each other as everyone else packs up around you and leaves the room. You swear you hear Lincoln mutter something about “too much pent up aggression” as he walks by, but you barely notice. 

You and Bellamy stay kneeled in front of each other, eyes locked in a stare until the room is empty. You see the glint in his eyes grow, and you catch onto his line of thinking quickly. As soon as you are the last two left in the room, you both practically jump at each other, lips connecting in a frenzy of built up aggression and passion. 

His hands reach out and pull you closer, and you lift your hands up to his curls and thread them there. As the kiss grows more heated, his tongue slips into your mouth, fighting for dominance. You feel the heat in your belly grow white hot, desire burning through you like a wildfire. You pull away a fraction of an inch and gasp out, “Home.”

Bellamy nods and stands, pulling you to your feet, and you both grab your things and practically run back to your shared quarters. The door is barely closed before he turns and pushes you up against it, kissing you long and hard, the passion from your spar following you home. Bellamy’s hands start to roam over your body, and you feel his hands stop just below the hem of your shirt, hesitating. You break the kiss and pull your shirt and undergarments off quickly, giving him permission, before your mouths collide again. 

He pulls you close, your bare chest now pressed against his, the skin on skin contact lighting electricity along your skin. He slides his mouth along your jaw and down your neck, pressing open mouthed kisses to your skin. His mouth drops to your chest, and you moan at the contact as he kisses and sucks a path from one breast to the other. Your back arches, pressing your chest closer to him, and you can feel him smile against your skin. You start to feel embarrassment creep up, and he must sense it, because his mouth comes back up and reconnects with yours, pulling you out of your head and away from any thoughts of embarrassment.

He steps backwards, pulling you with him, both of you kicking off your shoes as he leads you back to the bed. Once he reaches the edge, he pulls away and sits, leaving you standing in front of him. He leans forward and kisses a path down your chest and over your stomach, stopping at the waistband of your pants. He looks up at you, his expression soft, and for the first time you realize how truly safe you feel with him. His hands come to rest on your sides, and his voice is a quiet whisper when he asks, “Is this okay?”

“Yes.”

He unbuttons your pants slowly, giving you time to change your mind, but you don’t. Instead, you allow him to pull them down and off, helping you to step out of them. He guides you to straddle his still clothed lap, before his hands come to rest on your cheeks, holding your gaze in place as he looks at you with affection. “I love you.”

The words shock you, and you feel tears prick your eyes as your gaze stays locked with his, the affection never wavering. Your heart swells because you know he means it. You smile at him, and whisper, “I love you more than the stars.”

His face splits into a grin, the brightest smile you’ve ever seen on his face. You feel yourself overflowing with adoration for him, and the bright smile surrounded by the smattering of freckles on his face. He leans in and kisses you, this time soft and slow, the fire from earlier now changed by the softness of his love. 

He leans back, taking you with him, before rolling you carefully until you’re beneath him, safe in his arms. He pulls away from you and tugs off his pants and underwear, and you take a minute to stare at his chiseled body with appreciation. He catches your eyes and ducks his head, sheepish, but you reach out and lift his chin, guiding his gaze back to yours before giving him a smile. He smiles and leans in for another kiss, before pulling away to ask, “Are you sure?”

You smile and nod, “I’m sure.”

He pulls your underwear off and tosses it to the side with the rest of the clothes, turning back to admire your now naked form. You resist the urge to cover yourself as his eyes rake over you, before meeting yours. His voice is full of awe when he whispers, “You’re beautiful.”

You pull him down for another kiss, relishing in the safety of his arms as they come to rest on either side of your head. He spends a long time kissing and worshipping you, constantly checking to make sure you’re okay. When he finally takes you, it’s slow and sweet, both of your foreheads pressed together and your eyes locked as he pushes into you, mouths open and panting, breaths mingling. 

It doesn’t take long for you to reach your climax, and Bellamy is right behind you, both of you moaning each other’s names as you finish. 

After you’ve both come down, he rolls off of you and you lay side by side, enjoying the comfortable silence of each other’s company. As you reach up a finger and trace the freckles that dot his body, forming constellations, you whisper, “Tell me about the gods.”

He smiles, his eyes lifting from your finger to your face. “What?”

“Your mom used to tell you and Octavia about mythology, right?” He nods. “Then tell me about the gods.”

-

8 weeks after Mount Weather

“Tell me about the stars.”

You give him a sidelong glance, the request one that he only makes when he’s upset, but doesn’t want to talk about it. His eyes are locked on the sky above him, both of you side by side on a blanket just outside the walls of Arkadia. You think of his quiet intensity when he found you tonight, fresh out of a meeting with Kane, a hurricane of emotions brewing inside of him. You accepted his request without hesitation, the same way you accept his request now.

“The Pleiades were the seven daughters of Pleione and Atlas, the titan that held the weight of the world on his shoulders.” You glance at him again, his body tense with stress, because Bellamy and Atlas are the same. Two men given an impossible task; carry the weight of the world, and hope it doesn’t break you. “It’s said they felt so much sorrow for Atlas’ burden that Zeus placed them among the stars. But there’s another story too.”

Bellamy turns to look at you and you meet his gaze, reaching out to thread your fingers through his. “The Pleiades were beautiful. So beautiful that Orion took notice and chased them constantly, no matter how uncomfortable it made them. The Pleiades appealed to Zeus, who took pity on them and changed them into doves, allowing them to fly up and hide among the stars.”

Bellamy turns to look at the sky again, the stars high and bright above you, and he whispers, “Sometimes I wish I could hide in the stars.”

You reach out with your other hand and turn his face towards you. “What’s troubling you, Atlas?”

“So many people are looking to me, counting on me, to lead and keep them safe. But what if I’m the problem?”

“You’re not.”

“Jasper blames us for Mount Weather, and for Maya’s death. Monty says he drinks himself into a stupor nearly every night. Clarke’s gone, Finn’s dead. I took the radio and sentenced 300 people to death in the Culling. I irradiated Mount Weather.”

“You don’t have to carry this alone, Bellamy. I was in Mount Weather with you, and I pulled that lever with you. I missed every sign that Finn was going to give himself up until it was too late. I helped you with the radio, and I let Clarke go.” You see tears well up in his eyes, and you lift a hand to his cheek. “The world is not yours alone to bear.”

He nods, and lifts his free hand up to rest on yours. He glances at the stars again and whispers, “Still, I wish I could hide among them.”

“Me too.”

-

10 weeks after Mount Weather

“Mebi osa-”

“No, no, no. Mebi oso.”

You sigh and start again, “Mebi oso na hit choda op nodotaim?”

“Yes!”

You look at Lincoln as he smiles at you with pride. You ask, “And that means?”

“May we meet again.” You smile at the translation, the blending of two worlds, Grounder and Skaikru. He pulls himself to his feet before extending a hand out to you to help you up. As he pulls you to your feet, he asks, “Same time tomorrow?”

You nod and he starts to turn away, but you call out, “Wait.”

He turns and looks back at you, a question in his eyes. “That takedown that you used on Miller yesterday in sparring, can you teach it to me?”

A smile slowly spreads across his face as he remembers the schedule for tomorrow. “You spar Bellamy next, don’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Get over here.”

-

12 weeks after Mount Weather

You stand to the side of the mat, watching as Lincoln and Bellamy tug off their shirts and toss them aside as they prepare to spar. You hear murmurs of enjoyment in the crowd behind you and you roll your eyes. 

The two men stand on the mat facing each other, hands lifted in defense. Bellamy swings a punch out first, but Lincoln dodges it easily. Lincoln punches back, but misses, and Bellamy follows up with two consecutive punches. As he swings his arm around for the third, Lincoln ducks and punches Bellamy in his exposed ribs, causing Bellamy to double over and grunt in pain.

Lincoln brings an elbow down onto Bellamy’s back, who returns the move with a strong kick. When Bellamy tries to punch Lincoln again, he stops Bellamy’s arm in the air and delivers a punch to Bellamy’s chest. Lincoln uses the painful distraction to send a strong kick towards Bellamy, which knocks him down onto his stomach. You watch him punch the ground and yell out in frustration, his anger now pulling him to his feet. 

He descends on Lincoln and delivers blow after blow, and Lincoln steps back enough to wipe blood from his mouth. You already know the outcome before it happens, and you watch unsurprised as Bellamy continues his aggressive attack, only to be flipped on his back and defeated by Lincoln. 

The crowd lets out the collective breath they were holding as they watched the fight, and Lincoln turns to address the group. “He had me, but he was too aggressive.”

Bellamy pulls himself to his feet and walks over to his shirt, pulling it over his head. He mumbles, “Whatever you say.”

A few people snicker behind you as Lincoln counters, “Quitting so soon?”

“Mapping run. Sector 7.” He locks eyes with you, “Let's get this over with.”

You nod and grab the bag on the floor, turning and tossing it to Lincoln who catches it with ease. He pulls a guard jacket from the bag, and you walk closer to the pair as he looks between the two of you in surprise. “The Council wants you to have that.”

“I'm Trikru.”

“A uniform doesn't change that. This is our home now, Lincoln. We fought for it, too many of our friends died for it. On the Ark, the uniform meant something different. Down here, it means what we make it mean. My sister will understand that eventually.”

Lincoln tells the others to pair up before turning back to you and Bellamy. “Sector 7? That puts you right at the Ice Nation Border.”

“We know.”

“Just because Azgeda is part of the Commander's Coalition, doesn't mean they respect the ceasefire. I should be on that scout.”

You and Bellamy give him a sad smile, “I wish. We all do. But until the Commander agrees to lift the kill order on you, you're more trouble than you're worth.”

He nods, defeated, and Bellamy gestures to the door, asking if you’re ready to go. When you nod in return, he motions for you to lead, before he follows you from the room. Once you get outside and start heading for the Chancellor’s office, you turn to Bellamy with a smirk. “You got your ass kicked.”

He throws you a mock glare, “Shut up.”

“No, really. I think that was your shortest spar yet.”

He cocks his head to the side, and you eye him suspiciously before he lunges at you. You let out a laugh and run off, trying to avoid his outstretched arms. He catches up to you easily and scoops you up, tossing you over his shoulder as you laugh and protest, “Put me down!”

“What was that about me getting my ass kicked?”

You laugh, “Bellamy, put me down!”

“What was that you said? Something about my shortest spar yet?”

“Okay, okay, I take it back!”

He puts you down, his face still split in a wide grin. “Good, because we’re here.”

He leans down and gives you a quick kiss before knocking quietly on the open door. You and Bellamy peer inside, locking eyes with Kane, who’s standing in front of the map, a finger held to his lips. He points over to your mother, asleep on the couch, before waving you both inside. You smile at her sleeping form as Kane whispers, “This is the first sleep the Chancellor's had in two days.”

You cut your eyes over to Kane, disapproving. “Kane, you’re supposed to watch her. You know she’ll work until she drops.”

“I know, but your mother is a force to be reckoned with when she sets her mind to something. Kind of like a certain set of twins that I know.”

You roll your eyes and Bellamy cuts in, “We’ll be quick, but we wanted to let you know we’re going into Sector 7. I think we should arm the entire unit.”

“Permission granted. But the rules of engagement still apply, non lethal response. There hasn't been an attack since Mount Weather. That’s three months. Our people believe that this is real peace. Try not to screw that up.”

He smirks at the end, a sign that he’s serious, but trusts you both. You and Bellamy both smile back and nod. “Yes, sir.”

Bellamy leads you to the armory first, and you both keep up a casual conversation as you pack guns into a duffel bag, prepared to arm your entire team. You keep to light topics, the nerves of going outside the walls ever present at the start of a mission. Once the bag is packed, you head towards the rover, the meeting place for the entire team. 

When you step inside the hangar bay, your eyes land on Monty, who is sitting at a table, head in his hands, unmoving. Bellamy yells, “Monty, why aren't you ready?”

“I am. He's not.”

You both follow Monty’s gaze to the passed out figure on the floor, half hidden underneath a table. You exchange a look with Bellamy and whisper, “Jasper.”

You all three stand over Jasper, watching him, as Monty asks, “What should we do?”

You look at the two boys like it’s obvious, “We should leave him this time.”

Monty looks between you and Bellamy, eyes pleading. “He's not getting better. Maya's death broke him. He needs this.”

You can hear Bellamy sigh, a sign he’s caving, and you turn to him with a warning look. “Bellamy…”

He turns to look at you, understanding, but he whispers, “I know. But we did this. And if this is what Jasper needs, then we owe it to him.”

“Fine.”

Bellamy hands you the bag of guns, before him and Monty each grab one of Jasper’s arms and pull him to his feet, dragging him over to the rover. Bellamy passes all of Jasper’s weight over to Monty as you drop the bag of guns onto the hood of the rover with a loud thunk. 

“Hey!” Raven wheels out from beneath the rover and glares at you, “Take it easy!”

You both glare at each other until she breaks and smiles. You smile back and retort, “Morning to you too.”

Bellamy starts pulling out guns, handing one to you and Raven, and you slide the strap on. You check your knife holster as Bellamy tosses a gun to Miller, who quips back, “What's the point if we can't shoot 'em?”

“We can, just not to kill. That goes for everyone. Where's Octavia?”

“We're going outside the wall. You honestly think she'd miss that?” 

Bellamy nods in agreement with Miller, but turns to you. “Will you go look for her?”

“Sure.”

You head out of the building and straight for the stables, where Octavia keeps her horse, Helios. She smiles when you walk in, and you return it, watching as she readies Helios to go out. “Are you going with us today?”

“Yes, but not in the rover.”

She pulls herself onto the back of her horse, before extending an arm out to you. You take it without hesitation, and she helps pull you onto Helios’ back before directing him towards the rover. You make it over just as the doors slide open revealing the vehicle, full of passengers. You can see Bellamy rolls his eyes playfully when he sees you and Octavia on the back of her horse. Octavia locks eyes with Raven and yells, “Try and keep up.”

She spins Helios around and guides him through the camp easily, leading the rover out of the gates and onto the path in the woods. Once you’re free of the camp, Octavia turns and smirks. “Hold on!”

You wrap your arms around her waist just as she spurs Helios into a gallop. You let out a surprised laugh as you tear through the woods on his back, the wind whipping your hair all around you. Octavia leads the group through the woods until the path opens up into a wide field, allowing the rover to ride beside you. You watch as the hatch on the top flies open, and Jasper pokes his head out of the top and lets out a wild scream. You and Octavia laugh as you watch him, a smile on his face for the first time in weeks. 

But everything comes to an abrupt halt when the rover stops dead in its tracks. Jasper ducks back down into the rover, and Octavia pulls Helios to a stop. She quickly slides off before turning to help you down, and you both jog over to the rover and pull open the back door. Your eyes instantly lock with Bellamy’s as you ask, “What happened?”

“A tracking beacon from the Ark. Farm Station.”

You nod, “Well, let’s go get it.”

“It’s in Ice Nation.”

You all exchange a look as Raven glances at the flashing beacon. “Protocol says we go home. Let the Chancellor decide what to do next.”

“Screw protocol.” Bellamy looks away from you, over to Monty and Miller. “The Chancellor's not from Farm Station. Monty is, and so is Miller's boyfriend. It's your call.”

Monty nods, “Let's do this.”

Miller looks at him like it’s obvious, “You have to ask?”

Bellamy turns and echoes Octavia’s earlier words back to her. “Try to keep up.”

Octavia closes the door with a smirk and leads you back to Helios, both of you quickly mounting and following the rover as it leads you towards Ice Nation territory. It doesn’t take long for the rover to stop at a treeline, and everyone starts to file out. You and Octavia dismount, and she secures Helios to a tree as Bellamy addresses the group. “These woods must be the border.”

“So, where's all the ice?”

Octavia turns to Jasper. “Much farther north, Azgeda stretches for 1,000 miles.”

You lift your gun, already on guard as you fall into line behind Bellamy. “Remember rules of engagement are non-lethal force. Tight formation on my command.”

“They're coming. 120 meters. 110.” Monty tries to step forward, but Bellamy holds out an arm to keep him back. “They're our people, what are you-”

Bellamy cuts him off, “We hope they're our people. On my command.”

You all lift your guns and spread out, standing at the ready, right on the border of Ice Nation territory. Three horses weave through the trees and straight towards you, looking nothing like anyone from Farm Station. You glance at Octavia. “Ice Nation?”

“Yes. White war paint. Stay calm.”

Octavia slides her sword back to the sheath on her back and holds up her hands in surrender as the three Ice Nation warriors come to a stop in front of you. “Chon yu bilaik?”

Bellamy, aware of your lessons with Lincoln, glances over at you, searching for a translation, but you shake your head, letting him know you’re just as lost. Octavia’s voice is strong and steady when she answers, “Skaikru. Ste lufa osir kru au.”

Skaikru, looking for our people. Octavia’s reply helps you to follow the conversation, now realizing they must have asked who you are. But the Ice Nation’s next statement confuses you further. “Ste lufa wanheda au.”

You turn to Bellamy and translate, “They think we’re looking for Wanheda.”

His brows scrunch together, “Who’s that?”

“I don’t know.”

Octavia turns and looks back at the two of you, and Bellamy repeats the question to her, but she shakes her head, just as confused as you are.

One of the warriors dismounts his horse, and Monty perks up and whispers, “The light. That's the beacon.”

Your eyes all drop to the beacon hanging from the man’s jacket, as you try to plan how to get it. But before anyone says anything, Jasper stumbles past all of you, straight towards the man. Bellamy yells, “Hey, get back here!”

The other two warriors pull back their bows and aim straight for Jasper, and Octavia tries to grab him as he walks past, but he pulls free from her grip. “It’s okay, I got this.”

Bellamy desperately whispers to Octavia, “Tell them we observe the commander's truce, do it now!”

“Osir gouba ogonzaun kom heda in!”

Jasper comes to a stop right in front of the man, and they stare at each other for a split second before Jasper reaches out and pulls the beacon free from the man’s coat. “This belongs to us.”

He turns and starts to walk back towards your group, but the warrior grabs the back of his bulletproof vest and tugs him backwards, lifting a knife to his throat as he moves. “Weron wanheda kamp raun?”

You ignore his question about Wanheda and yell, “Breik em au!”

Let him go! Octavia adds, “Osir nou get in chon daunde bilaik! Beja.”

You recognize the words “we don’t know” and “please”, which is enough to give you the idea of what Octavia is pleading for. The warrior says nothing, he just stands there with his knife to Jasper’s throat, looking angry. Jasper on the other hand, is standing at the brink of death, and he’s laughing. Everyone’s guns lower as you watch him giggle, completely amused at the situation he’s in, but your guns don’t stay down for long, because the Ice Nation Warrior starts to pull the knife across Jasper’s throat as he asks, “Yo vout in dison ste leyos?”

You have enough time to translate the word “funny” before your eyes land on the red blooming on Jasper’s neck, and Bellamy fires a shot at the warrior, knocking him away from Jasper. You aim for the warrior on the left and Miller aims for the one on the right, both of you taking them out in quick succession, knocking them off their horses. 

You watch as the warrior near Jasper starts to stand, and Octavia yells, “Jasper, get down!”

She pulls her sword from its sheath before throwing it at the man, and you all watch as it sticks itself into his chest, killing him. You barely have time to process the events of the last twenty seconds before the radio in the rover starts to crackle to life with Kane’s voice. Bellamy mutters, “What now?”

“I’ve got Jasper, you get Kane.”

He nods and jogs back to the rover, and you make a beeline for the injured delinquent, who is kneeling on the ground with his hand to his neck. “What the hell were you thinking?”

Octavia follows you over to Jasper, and you both haul him to his feet and lead him to the rover so he can lean against it for support. Jasper answers, “We got the beacon, didn’t we?”

You give him a disapproving look and mutter, “But we almost lost you.”

You see his expression soften slightly before he puts his guard up again. Miller jogs over and hands you a first aid kit, which you accept with a nod of thanks. You pull Jasper’s hand away and inspect the wound, glad that it’s not too deep, but still worried about the amount of blood. You press gauze to the wound and start to wrap cloth around his neck to hold it in place, securing it as Bellamy comes around the corner of the rover and yells, “Take him home!”

“I'm fine, thank you for asking.” 

Bellamy glares at him before calling out, “Miller!”

“Yeah?”

“Get one of their horses. Raven, since you can't ride, you're on the back. Octavia, get Jasper to Abby.” He looks between you and Monty, “You two are with me.”

“Okay.”

Everyone breaks off quickly, and you pass the medical kit to Octavia. “In case you need it again. Those bandages should hold until he gets back, but don’t waste any time.”

“You got it.”

You turn and head to the rover before sliding in the back seat behind Bellamy. Monty slides into the passenger seat, and he barely has the door closed before Bellamy takes off again. You look at Bellamy in the rearview mirror, “Where are we going?”

“Sector 4, to meet Kane.”

“Did he say why?”

“No.”

His curt responses are enough to let you know that he is tense and angry, and further questioning isn’t going to help that. You lean back and rest your head against the wall, letting the rest of the trip carry on in silence. 

When you reach sector 4, Bellamy drives until he reaches a large tunnel, and then he puts the car in park and slides out. You and Monty exchange a look before following him, lifting your guns and surveying the area as he leads you into the tunnel. 

Monty whispers, “You were right about Jasper.”

You glance at him and shrug, because you knew you were and having him say it out loud doesn’t change that. Bellamy turns back and glares at Monty. “Quiet. Keep your eyes peeled.” He’s quiet for a minute before adding, “I should've said no.”

“He's getting worse isn't he? I mean getting drunk every night is one thing, but smiling with a knife to your throat? That's next level damage.”

You reach the edge of the tunnel and start to emerge into the light just as Kane and Indra step out of the bushes. You and Bellamy exchange a look as you offer, “Indra never comes with good news.”

“He must have told her we broke the truce.” As Kane and Indra reach you, Bellamy launches into his explanation. “Sir, before you say anything there was a good reason-”

Kane lifts his hand and cuts him off, “I'll deal with that later.”

He turns to you, his expression serious, and your stomach drops. “This is about Clarke.”

“What about her?”

“She's being hunted.”

Monty asks, “By who?”

“By everyone.”

You feel yourself sway on your feet, and Bellamy reaches out to grab your hand and steady you. Kane nods towards the rover, “We need to hurry, but we’ll explain on the way.”

You all jog back to the rover, and Monty slides into the driver's seat, with Bellamy in the passenger seat beside him. You jump into the back, beside Kane, and Indra sits across from you. Kane directs Monty, “Back to sector 7.”

Monty nods and sets the course, and you turn to Indra. “Why is Clarke being hunted?”

“There’s a bounty for her.”

Kane clarifies, “Bounty, but not a kill order?”

“Not yet. Clarke’s a symbol. She’s known as Wanheda, the Commander of Death.”

Bellamy turns in his seat and you both exchange a look, remembering what the Ice Nation Warrior asked you about. As you process the rest of Indra’s statement, you ask, “Wait, you said it’s not a kill order yet, what do you mean?”

“My people believe that when you kill someone you get their power. Kill Wanheda and you command death.”

You feel your stomach roll over as you think of Clarke, the most wanted bounty in the 12 clans, and guilt washes over you. Because you let her leave. You didn’t chase after her. You couldn’t find her. And now the world wants her power. 

Kane looks at Indra with surprise and whispers, “She's just one girl.”

“So is the Commander. What Clarke did at Mount Weather weakened her. The Ice Nation is emboldened because their Queen wants Clarke's power. If her people believe she has it, she'll break the Coalition and start a war. I can't let that happen.”

You hear a beeping sound from the front seat, followed by Monty’s voice. “Welcome to Sector 7. Where to now?”

“If she's here, she'll need supplies. We'll start at the trading posts.”

Monty shifts the rover into higher gear, speeding you up, and you turn to look at Kane. “Did you tell my mother about this?”

“No. I don't wanna worry Abby until we know something.”

You nod, and everyone falls into silence as Monty takes you deeper and deeper into Azgeda territory. The drive takes hours, as afternoon bleeds into evening into night, and the moon is high in the sky when Monty suddenly slams on the breaks. You all slide forward, and you collide with Kane, who reaches out to steady you. You look up and over at the driver. “What the hell, Monty?”

He points to the tree in the path of the road, stretching from one side to the other. “We have to move it.”

Bellamy reaches for his door handle and you start to stand, when Indra reaches out and grabs your arm, stopping you. “Wait. It’s been cut down.”

Bellamy spins around in his seat and glares at her. “You don’t know that.”

Bellamy steps out of his seat and pushes open the hatch of the rover, poking his head out and looking around with his gun. You peer up at him from below, listening to the silence of the woods, until it’s broken by a strange creaking sound. It takes you a second to realize what it is before you grab Bellamy and tug him back inside, just as a second tree crashes down behind the rover, shaking all of you inside. 

Bellamy quickly jumps up and closes the hatch, and plops down in the seat behind Kane as Indra mutters, “We do now.”

-

next chapter

[sherlollydramoine]

Buzzkill

Prompt 27: “give me that”

Fandom: The Pacific/HBO War - Modern AU

Pairing: Dad!Snafu 

Word Count: 1154

Warnings: Honestly, this is just pure comedy. 

For my loyal readers, please accept this as an apology for the super angsty piece that I posted yesterday that may have broken a few hearts.

Fun fact: This exact scenario actually happened to me when my son was about four. Oh the joys of parenting!

Special shout out to @edteche2 and @diasimar for the assistance and suggestions. I hope that this is as funny for y’all as it was for me.

Also I only chose this GIF because this is the exact face I imagine Snaf making when he realizes what is going on.

“Baby girl where are you?” he called out looking for his daughter. They had been playing a game of hide and seek which was interrupted by a phone call that he had to take. Now his daughter was nowhere to be found as she was an excellent hider just like he’d been as a child. He’d searched everywhere that she usually chose to hide. She wasn’t in the living room, her room, the kitchen, or the backyard and he was about to freak out thinking she’d been kidnapped by some creep when the sounds of giggling and an odd buzzing sound hit him which was vaguely in the direction of his bedroom.

As he approaches his room curious to know what could be bringing his daughter so much glee he tries to mentally prepare himself for anything. She was a wild child and the odd noise he was hearing could be from the hair clippers that he kept in the main bathroom; Lizzy was obsessed with them and had cut half of her hair off once with them. 

Upon his approach to the bedroom, the buzzing sound gets louder and is accompanied by the gleeful shouts of his daughter yelling “Take that!” and “Buzz off bad pirate guy!”

The second he crossed the threshold into his room, his jaw went slack as he caught sight of his four-year-old daughter jumping on his bed, her wild curls flying in all directions with her tiara firmly on her head, clutching her mother’s large bright purple vibrator in her tiny hand. There is nothing he could have done to prepare him for this as the shock rolls across his face. 

“What are you doing in here baby girl?” he asks, which startles his daughter out of her fantasy world causing her to yelp in surprise. She stumbles backward and nearly falls off the bed, as he rushes forward to catch her.

She narrows her eyes at her father in irritation as she hauls herself back up to resume her bed jumping while waving her mother’s sex toy around.

“I asked you a question little darling, what are you doing in here?” he asks again.

She glances back over at her father, still bouncing excitedly as she launches into her explanation.

“Arrrrrgh I’m a pirate daddy. I have a magic purple sword. See?” she stops bouncing for a moment and holds up the object that has quit buzzing momentarily so her father could get a closer look. Snafu was truly at a loss for words, not sure exactly how to respond to this. There was nothing in anything he’d ever read about parenting that tells people how to deal with this kind of situation. Sweat began beading on his brow and swipes at his face in embarrassment and frustration as she continues her explanation,” I’m fighting away the bad guys by stabbing them with my magical purple sword that shoots laser beams out of the end. I just have to push this magic button,” she says pointing at the power button on the toy,” and then it activates but you better watch out daddy or the laser beam is going to get you.”

He watches in horror as she pushes the power button on the toy making it resume its vibrations. Lizzy giggles at the sensation against her hand as she returns to bouncing on the bed swatting at the air as he can do nothing but watch in absolute anguish. His sweet innocent daughter, casually playing with a device meant for absolute sin completely clueless as to the intended use for the large purple object.

Running his fingers through his hair forcing himself to take a few deep calming breaths. She’s only four; she has no clue what the object in her hand really is. His mouth turns down into a deep frown until his daughter whirls around on him pressing the tip of the buzzing object into his nose. His mouth falling open into an ‘O’ as the sensations tickle his nose, in absolute shock that his daughter would brazenly press the object into his face. 

“Arrrggggg… I’m Lizzy the Fiercest Unicorn Princess Pirate on the High Seas, and you daddy are accused of high treason for stealing my cookies so you have to walk the plank or die by magic laser beam!”

Throwing his hands up in mock surrender he backs away from her resisting the urge to grab the whirring object out of her hands so that he can put it away somewhere more secure.

“I’m Daddy the Pirate, the Meanest Strongest Pirate on the High Seas, and I demand to know where you got your magic purple laser beam sword!” his eyes sparkling with amusement as he knows exactly where she retrieved it from and he mentally chides himself for not fixing the lock on the drawer when his wife asked him to a month ago. If he wants to get the object away from his daughter without causing a massive tantrum all he has to do is play her game until he can spin things in his favor.

“Arrrrgggghhh… I’ll never tell you that! I’ll die before I reveal my Unicorn Princess Pirate secrets but I will tell you there is a blue one in a drawer that looks similar to this one if you want to fight to the death but the blue one doesn’t have magic laser beam powers,” she informs him, pointing to the bedside table on his wife’s side of the bed, her blue-green eyes sparkling clearly enjoying her game. 

How long was she in that drawer for? Wait, what the hell else is in that drawer? Oh my God! My wife is gonna kill me! I’m fixing that damn lock tonight! 

When his jaw dropped and his hands fell down to his sides, he realized he had to think fast. Somehow his four year old had maintained the upper hand through this little game.

“Arrrgghhh... Hard bargain you be driving there Miss Lizzy the Fiercest Unicorn Pirate Princess on the High Seas, but how about we go to McDonald’s to sign a peace treaty? First, though, all you have to do is give me that pretty purple laser beam sword,” he offers.

Her bouncing stops, as she contemplates his offer before letting out a squeal of delight that nearly bursts his eardrums. His daughter never failing to surprise him tosses the still buzzing vibrator at his face as she jumps down off the bed and sprints out the door. He stumbles backward in pain, clutching at his face hoping that he wasn’t bleeding as the offending object thuds on the hardwood floor at his feet happily still buzzing as it slowly makes its way under the bed. 

Ascertaining that he wasn’t bleeding and his nose wasn’t broken he bends down to pick up the fallen vibrator switching the power off and then hiding it on the top shelf of the closet. His wife was either going to kill him or laugh her ass off at him when she hears about this misadventure. 

“Lizzy you better be getting your shoes on because we’re leaving!”

@xmxisxforxmaybe @ramimedley @stewielover95 @safinsscar @itswormtrain @r-ahh-mi @itslula1991 @w0lfglrl17​ @txmel​ @hazeleyedbeth​ @flipper-kisses​ @itsme690​ @the-real-ramimalekpeen​ @alottanothing​

[lightninghikari]

Proud

Pairing: Steven Stone/Wallace.

Rating: general audiences.

Summary: Steven Stone, heir of Devon, who had expectations put on him since the very day he was born… decides to come out to his father.

Author’s notes: This is a lil fic I’ve been saving all this time for Pride Month. Enjoy it!

Read in AO3

He took a deep breath, sighing afterward.

"You know, Steven?" His father stretched his arms, then allowing his hands to fall by his sides, over the bench, carelessly. "I can't remember the last time I relaxed on the beach like this."

"Yeah, here in Mossdeep is nice to..." then again, he sighed. "Chill a little."

"You should take me out of work more often," at the very least the man was enjoying himself. "Seriously. I can't remember the last time we hung out like this, it even feels like it had been years now."

Because it indeed had been years, Steven replied mentally.

In the middle of his restless thoughts, Steven paid attention to the fact that Joseph was right and they didn’t spend much time together anymore; which was crazy, considering that they were the only close family each other had. And for a moment, Steven got distracted by the realization that, taking his father for granted like that was no good, and that he should be taking every chance he had to spend the time with him and talk and reach out to him while he could.

Chances like… this one.

And once more, Steven felt the pit in his stomach, reminding him of why they were there to talk in the very first place. So, he let the first conversation topic to die down while trying to find the words to express what he needed to.

He sighed again.

"So, Steven," Joseph called his name with a patient tone. "What do you want to talk about? You said it was important and actually I've been aching to know what this matter is all about."

The anguish grew on his chest, as he shifted uncomfortably in his place. Steven had genuinely believed that he was ready to confront his dad already, yet there he was, stopping right on his tracks when he was explicitly requested to talk.

Ah… Steven had not a single clue of why he was so scared. He was a grown man already, independent, this shouldn’t even come out as a big deal. Besides, his dad was a good man, all of his own politeness he learned it from him. Yet, Steven believed somewhat there was a possibility to disappoint his father, to make him mad. After all, he was his only child, and his confession would mean a burden to all of the plans Mr. Stone had for him.

Nonetheless, he had postponed the whole matter a lot already. It was the moment to talk. Wallace was worth the shot.

"Well... it's just that..." He could barely elaborate. "Um, I mean, like..."

"Yes?"

"It’s… Like..." His head was already dizzy in shame. "Ah!"

Joseph chuckled, not quite amused, instead, very puzzled.

"Just go ahead.”

"It's something... um... hard to say, to put it down in some way," Steven spoke lowly, as if words would come easier that way.

“Okay, maybe try giving me a hint?”

Steven took a deep breath, “you could say, I…”

Was he going to say it so simply, just like that?

“Yes, Steven?”

This was terrible.

“Steven-”

And he growled, pulling his hair back with his hands in a clear sign of desperation, "Dad, please, don't get angry at me," he pleaded, finally giving in to his worries.

"You did something I should be mad about?"

"Kind of? I'm not sure..."

"Let's see," the older man said softly, getting a little more serious. "What happened?"

The pressure on his chest grew unbearable as his mind got foggier and foggier. For a moment Steven believed his mouth wouldn’t be able to keep producing words anymore and that he would have to run away from the scene.

"I..." point of no return, it was now or never. Steven shook his head and clenched his fists. "I'm... I'm dating someone".

The incredulous expression on Joseph's face was priceless. He remained quiet for a few seconds, then, he began to laugh in a lighthearted way, placing a hand in his chest rather relieved; which only thrilled Steven further, because what he was going to say wouldn’t be relieving at all.

"For Arceus' sake!" Joseph shook his head. "Is that what this whole tension is about? That my son’s got a new partner?"

Now his heart was pounding so desperately against his ribs that Steven truly believed he’d had an arrest.

"I know it sounds like something stupid and trivial!" He replied loudly, even furiously, unable to put up with the shame anymore. "But this is a serious matter and I'm sure that when I give you the details you're going to be at the very least a bit disappointed, to not say upset, and-”

"Why would I be upset?" Joseph answered, simply yet incredulous. "Wallace is a good man, I like him very much actually, you should already know that."

Oh?

Oh.

Steven felt his jaw dropping off its place as he gasped in surprise and his cheeks began to turn bright red.

How was it even possible that his father knew altogether that his new partner was in fact a male, and not any male, but Wallace?

Joseph laughed again, however, that time a little more nervously.

"W-What?" Steven started to stammer now, not even being able to keep visual contact. "H-How d-did you know?"

"I'm your father, I know you from the very day you were born, how I wasn't supposed to notice something like this?"

Ditching the whole parent intuition thing, Steven hurried to ask, "was I that obvious?"

"Sort of," he even gestured it with the hand. "When you first introduced us I didn’t really think it could be more than a friendship. But, one day, it only took me to watch how you looked at him as mesmerized as if he was a precious gem, and see how you giggled at every small thing he said, and how you couldn’t keep your hands off him, to know that you were completely and absolutely lovestruck. And Wallace… well. He wasn’t being quite subtle there, either; he’d say something very flirtatious to you for it to fly right over your head.”

Steven growled, covering his face, “how ludicrous…”

“I can’t blame him though. You are such a handsome man, no wonder why everyone throws themselves at you, a contest idol like him included.”

“D-Dad!” Steven whined. “This is so embarrassing!”

Shrugging, he chuckled, “to be fair, I didn't imagine you were dating now, but I was instead anticipating this talk to happen. I knew it was a matter of time for you both to get together."

Steven shook his head, "don't you think I was trying to keep this as a secret to you. In fact, we started dating just a few weeks ago, but if I didn't tell you immediately after that happened was because-".

"It's fine," Joseph seemed to completely understand his reasons, that being why he allowed himself to cut off Steven’s furious rambling. "I imagine you were still trying to come to terms with that. Don’t worry, I get you.”

Steven felt shame again. This time for not being able to do this sooner.

"So, aren’t you mad?"

"Why should I be?"

Once more, he sighed, now straightening in his place to add more seriousness to his words, "well, because I think I like men after all. And if I’m gay for real, this will mean I won’t get a future Devon heir, and I’ll be putting us in trouble and-”

Joseph smiled indulgently, then, tilted his head, giving his son a loving look.

"Steven..." he sighed, "life's too short and unpredictable to even worry about those sorts of things in advance. I mean, you can have your life all planned, and all of a sudden, it takes an unexpected turn and everything changes".

Steven nodded.

"When I was around your age, I was achieving everything I'd ever planned; I was this successful CEO both my father and grandfather raised me to be, I was happily and publicly married and you were about to born. I had everything."

Ah, he knew where this was heading to.

"I had planned my life to be exactly like that, like my father and grandfather wanted it to be and how I thought it would always be.”

This time, Joseph snickered lightly at himself

“Then, I had to face the fact that the woman I thought was the right for me didn’t want to be my wife anymore, then realized that my success wasn’t enough to keep a family happily together, and I had to raise you all on my own," Joseph clasped his hands together next. "What I’m trying to say is that you can’t be sure of what’s going to happen in the future. So, don't get so worked out about something that hasn't happened yet. When your time comes, you, and perhaps even Wallace, would decide what to do. And I do trust you will decide wisely, I have no doubt of that."

Suddenly, he became aware of the way his heart was exaggeratedly pounding hard against his chest, a lump in his throat holding back any kind of response; for that, Steven felt his eyes getting wet as an overwhelming sense of relief and happiness took over him.

He was, in fact, deeply moved by his father's words of acceptance. And trying hard to not cry, Steven remained silent, and almost two minutes went by like that until the older Stone decided to speak again.

“Besides… I’m happy for you.”

“You are?”

“Yes. All these years I watched you getting in relationships almost out of obligation. At first, of course, I thought that it was because of how the divorce had affected you, and that you still hadn’t found the right woman to love.”

Looking back at it, it sounded so ludicrous now.

“I’ve always seen people throwing themselves at you, and you resignedly settling with someone. But it was such a nice change when I noticed you were actually chasing after Wallace, with your heart all on your sleeve…”

How did his dad even manage to make it sound so embarrassing? Or was it just that Steven was that awkward in general?

"So..." Joseph cleared his throat. "How Wallace is doing?".

Steven chuckled, starting to move his tense body just a little. "He's fine. Happy. And so I am."

His father hummed.

"Wallace is a nice man,” he concluded. “I mean, he is very strong, capable, caring, funny, talented-"

"Beautiful," Steven uttered solemnly, adding to his dad's former statement. And when he realized what he just said and noticed the amused look on the older man's face, he felt his cheeks blushing, flustered.

"Oh, god. I'm still not prepared for diabetes, Steven," Joseph joked, gaining a gasp from his now again restless son.

"D-Dad!" He was sure he would die from the embarrassment since it never was his intention to sound so cheesy about Wallace in front of this father of his who loved to make jokes whenever it was possible.

Once he stopped laughing, Joseph stated, "well, I would like to meet him one of these days."

"Dad, you already know him."

"Indeed I do, however, you hadn't introduced him as your boyfriend yet, but only as your best friend instead."

Discreetly, Steven rolled his eyes.

"Whatever," he replied, "He'll be very glad to meet up with you. I'll be sure to tell you when we are free to hang out together."

His father nodded.

"Great," assuming the talk was already done, and to break any tension possibly remaining after that somehow awkward yet sweet conversation they shared, the man felt safe to bring up another topic. "Now, if my memory isn’t failing me, you told me that you've found a rare stone you wanted to show me."

Steven smiled for once.

"Yes. It's at my place".

"Shall we go then?"

He agreed, and once the both of them were standing, they remained quiet until the younger Stone broke the distance between them, wrapping his father in his arms, fervently, and of course, the embrace was immediately reciprocated.

"Thanks, Dad," Steven spoke softly, pure emotion in his voice.

"You are very welcome."

"This really means a lot to me. Just... thank you so, so much. I love you."

"You have nothing to thank me, Steven," At that moment, he sounded as moved as his son. Maybe that was the reason why he lightly kissed the top of Steven's forehead, the way he would when Steven was a kid. "You are my son, and for that, I will always love you, not only until you are old enough to make your own decisions and stop following my expectations. I love you the way you are and no matter what, it will always be like that."

“Dad…” was he about to cry? Yes, he was about to cry.

“I’m so proud of you, my boy. If it had been me going through this, damn, be sure I wouldn’t have been brave enough to go against the expectations put on me.”

“I can because I have an awesome dad like you.”

And of course, both laughed foolishly, Joseph running out of words too, unable to come up with one of his usual puns. This moment felt even holy, just a proof of the unconditional love going on between them, even if they didn’t spend much time with each other now.

And no word was spoken after that. Then, some seconds afterward they parted, only a little, however: all the way back home, Joseph wrapped an arm around Steven, holding him and patting his back and shoulder while they were walking all the way back home.

They spent the rest of the evening together, so casually, yet, it meaning the whole world to Steven; at first, he truly believed his father wasn't going to react well at him coming out so suddenly. Now, he was so thankful that, instead of falling apart, they grew even closer to each other. And so, silently, Steven made this promise that, he would try to reach out for his father more often. Growing up rather lonely didn’t mean he had to keep doing that way, that was one thing Wallace had taught him and that his dad was now reassuring him on.

Ah… How loved and accepted Steven felt. How great was to be truly in love with someone and be able to share that happiness with his loved ones.

And how much he admired his father. Hopefully, one day, he could truly aim to be half the wise and caring man Joseph was.

[writingithink]

Tangled Timelines Chapter 2 Rated: T Chapter Wordcount: 4,402 Chapter Summary: Visiting Jackie definitely doesn't go according to plan. Notes: I know it seems like I planned the update to be this way, but I really didn't.This fic is giving me grief, but I'm powering through, and for that you all should def give it up to @hey-there-juliet , my wonderful beta ♥

<-- Ch1

Ch3 -->

Read it on AO3

The landing was relatively smooth as they materialized in the middle of the playground next to the Estates. Rose grabbed her bag but then just stood there, staring blankly at the time rotor.

What if she hates me?

Her projected terror and anguish hit the Doctor with the pain of a physical blow. He raced around the console and pulled her into a hug that was probably a bit on the side of too tight in his attempt to hold her as close as possible. She dropped her things back onto the jumpseat before wrapping her arms around him and balling his coat in her fists.

“Rose, your mother will never hate you. If I know one thing for certain about Jackie Tyler, it’s that she loves you more than anything else in the Universe,” he informed her, willing his sincerity to find a way to make it through their connection, with the way his bondmate’s emotions were seemingly attempting to take it over.

“It’s just going to be so much for her to take in. How’s she supposed to deal with that?”

“I’m definitely not saying her initial reaction will be at all pleasant. I think it would do you some good, memorizing this face. Appreciate it. It’s a nice face, and who knows what I may end up with once she’s done with me? But that being said, overall I’m extremely confident that your mum will still know that you’re you, no matter what’s happened to your body.”

“I hope so,” his wife sighed, resting her head on his shoulder.

“I know so,” the Doctor whispered in her ear before pulling back slightly. “In fact, let’s just stay here for a bit. That way you don’t have to immediately get into everything, just enjoy spending time with your mum. Then after we tell her, we’ll stick around so that she has to get used to the idea. I mean, we have wedding things to do still, if that growing list on your nightstand is any indicator.” Plus, it will hopefully get me some points. While it seemed unlikely that he would get into Jackie’s good books anytime in the near future, he’d take anything that would swing things in his favor.

“That would be nice.” Rose finally managed a smile.

“Alright then, it’s settled. Now that we’re here, let’s just have tea and takeaway with your mum. We’ll watch some telly, figure out the whole of London’s business, and while she’s at it, she can explain to me exactly why she enjoys doing laundry so much.”

At that his wife laughed. The Doctor leaned down and kissed her, sending love and happiness across their bond and was inordinately pleased to have it returned. He did such a good job cheering her up, in fact, that he was now feeling quite good about this whole thing. Spending weeks at the Powell Estates wasn’t exactly what he’d prefer to be doing, but he’d managed it over Christmas and New Years, so he was confident that he would survive it again. All too soon Rose pulled away, once again grabbing her laundry and then quickly making her way to the door.

“C’mon, then. You’re gonna regret parkin’ all the way over here, if we’re staying for so long.”

“Nah, we’ll just move her later. Shove all the furniture in your old room out of the way so that she’ll fit,” he decided as he followed her out of the TARDIS.

Once Rose got her arms through the straps of the bag, he took her hand and they meandered through the playground.

“I have missed mum,” she said, taking in the bustle of life around them. “How long have we been gone? For her, I mean.”

“Oh, only about two weeks.”

“Really? Do you think she’s even gotten the postcard yet? How long do they usually take, it being international and all?”

“Should have gotten here by now. Can’t know for sure, though, too many unknown variables.”

“I bet you’re tryin’ to do the maths now,” she teased, swinging their arms back and forth as they got closer to Jackie’s flat. With their future discussion pushed back a bit, Rose was becoming more and more excited about this trip, and the Doctor could feel how much she had missed her mother. While it would only be two weeks for Jackie, it had been over a month for them.

“I’m doing all sorts of maths right now, so what if some of them happen to be related to customs services? Keeps me occupied.”

“If doing calculations and things could really keep you occupied, we’d do a lot less running for our lives,” his bondmate oh so helpfully pointed out.

The Doctor didn’t bother responding to this as they made their way up the stairs.

“Mum, it’s us! We’re back!” Rose called as she unlocked the door.

“Oh, I don’t know why you bother with that phone, you never use it!” Jackie exclaimed, quickly meeting them at the door.

“Aw, c’mere,” his wife smiled, opening her arms.

He squeezed past them both as they hugged and said their ‘I love yous’ in the tiny hallway, only to get dragged back by Jackie.

“Oh no, you don’t. Come here!” his mother-in-law said, pulling him into a sort-of hug that trapped both of his arms to his sides, for some reason finding it necessary to rock him back and forth. Rose had no pity, quickly getting out of their way.

You’re a bad wife, he mentally chastised as Jackie planted a much too wet kiss on his cheek.

All he got in return was a buzz of telepathic laughter.

“Hello, Jackie!” he squeaked. “How are things?”

“They’d be better if you managed to fly that spaceship of yours proper! It’s been three months! You said you two’d be back ages ago. I was starting to wonder if you’d be a year again!”

What?!

He winced at Rose’s telepathic shout. Really could have sworn he’d double checked the date.

“I’ll, er, check the TARDIS in a bit. Been awhile since I’ve done a full systems check. Lots of delicate machinery, you know. Speck of dust on the wrong circuit and then bam, end up in 1546 instead of 2546, and let me tell you they have two completely different dress codes,” he rambled as he finally escaped her grasp.

Is that really what you think, or is it something else? his wife asked over the bond. She was of the opinion that the TARDIS always had a reason for landing them somewhere they hadn’t intended on going.

“I get this postcard in the mail,” Jackie went on, “from bleedin’ Alaska, then nothin’. Phone goes straight to voicemail, you don’t answer any of my texts. Lucky the hall was booked so far in advance when you set the date. But now you’re back, that’s what matters, I know.”

Could go either way, he admitted. It is true that I’ve been doing a lot less maintenance than usual.

Her concern was quickly forgotten as she shrugged her rucksack off of her shoulders and refocused on her mum.

“Yeah, calls didn’t go through because the flight went wrong. Still, I’ve got loads of washing for ya,” she said, passing Jackie the bag and really, he couldn’t understand why her mother was smiling about being handed a bunch of laundry. 

The Doctor rolled his eyes and looked around for a moment before deciding that the stack of freshly opened mail on the table was probably the most interesting thing in the room (he was wrong - dead boring).

“And I got you this,” his wife continued, “it’s from the market on this asteroid bazaar. It’s made of, er, what’s it called?”

“Bazoolium,” he replied, speed reading through all the bills one more time and trying to make sense of exactly why it cost this much for all of these incredibly basic things. He couldn’t understand why neither Rose nor Jackie would let him upgrade the flat so that there would be no need to pay some company for electricity or gas or television. As someone who constantly complained about how expensive these things were, you’d think her mum would be all for him making some improvements. It was all a lost cause, though, so he switched to one of Jackie’s tabloids.

“Bazoolium,” Rose repeated. “When it gets cold, yeah, it means it’s going to rain. When it’s hot, it’s going to be sunny. You can use it to tell the weather!”

“I’ve got a surprise for you and all.”

“Oh, I get her bazoolium, she doesn’t even say thanks.”

He turned and gave his bondmate a smirk. While he had also been hoping that her mother would appreciate the present, the Doctor also wasn’t surprised. Jackie Tyler never did tend to act predictably. When they don’t come back with trinkets, she asks why they didn’t think of her when they were gallivanting around. They do, and she doesn’t have the attention span to appreciate it. Just their luck, really.

“Guess who’s coming to visit? You’re just in time. He’ll be here at ten past. Who do you think it is?”

“I don’t know.”

“Oh, go on. Guess.”

“No, I hate guessing. Just tell me.”

“It’s your granddad.”

The Doctor had been mostly focused on the gossip magazine (while mostly rubbish, they did have a knack for reporting on alien matters that the general public had been conditioned to not believe), but at this he snapped his head up. He’d never met a grandfather of Rose’s, and the alarm that shot through their bond had him very curious to learn why that was.

“Grandad Prentice,” Jackie continued. So, maternal grandfather then. “He’s on his way any minute. Right, cup of tea! I’ve told him all about the upcoming wedding, you know.” She disappeared into the kitchen, presumably to make tea. He was quick to drop the magazine and see what exactly had his wife so upset.

“She’s gone mad,” Rose told him in a low voice. How could this have happened?

“Tell me something new,” he quipped, trying to lighten the mood as images of an older gentlemen played through their connection.

“Grandad Prentice, that’s her dad,” she continued, “but he died, like, ten years ago.” Now she shared images of the funeral, open casket, no question as to whether the man they were burying was indeed Jackie’s father. “Oh my god, she’s lost it.” How can she have gone so crazy in so short a time?! I know that it’s been months instead of weeks, but she was fine when we left!

We’ll figure it out, he assured her as he followed her into the kitchen.

“Mum? What you just said about granddad …”

“Any second now,” Jackie told them, looking thrilled.

The Doctor took a deep breath and looked around, activating senses that he usually kept blocked off so as to avoid the constant distraction. Something was off, but it was just, just a tickle. He couldn’t possibly explain the slight deviation from normal, and knew without trying that the sonic wouldn’t be able to isolate it. The TARDIS might be able to, but still, he would probably need a better idea of what to have her look for. Narrow it down.

“But he passed away,” his bondmate calmly explained. “His heart gave out. Do you remember that?”

“Of course I do.” The manic gleam still hadn’t left her eyes, though.

Was it some sort of gas? Chemical? No, couldn’t be. He’d be able to taste it in the air. Telepathic influence? Unlikely, since there wasn’t anything brushing up against their barriers.

“Then how can he come back?”

“Why don’t you ask him yourself?” her mum countered as all of his hairs began to stand on edge. She checked her watch. “Ten past. Here he comes.”

Even before the spectral figure emerged right in Jackie’s kitchen, the Doctor’s mind was blaring a mauve alert, his time senses flailing, unable to compensate for whatever it was that had just appeared. The timelines of everyone at the Estates, of everyone in London, maybe even the whole of the United Kingdom for all he knew, tangled and cut off and back on again, on and off in an unsustainable state of temporal flux. All the while the spin of the Earth jolted slightly off kilter. This was bad bad bad bad bad.

“Here we are, then,” Jackie went on as if this was all completely normal. The Doctor’s eyes never left the ghostly figure and he knew that Rose was just as fixated. “Dad, say hello to Rose. Ain’t she grown?”

That is not your grandfather, he managed to project even as the rest of his brain was focused on trying to parse out what exactly could possibly be causing this.

Yeah, no, I know, came his bondmate’s panicked response as he grabbed her hand and pulled her out of the flat as quickly as he possibly could.

Every instinct the Doctor possessed was telling him to get away from the planet as quickly as he possibly could, but that wasn’t going to happen. Like countless times before, he was running toward the danger. Soon enough they were out of the building, finally pausing when they reached the narrow street between the different blocks of flats.

“They’re everywhere!” he exclaimed, baffled as everyone around them went on with their days as if nothing out of the ordinary was happening at all even as it seemed like every sense he possessed was screaming wrong wrong WRONG. And he knew that he was projecting it all through the bond, it would take immense concentration to stop it and he needed to focus all of his energy on figuring out what it was that was causing it, on parsing out exactly what his body was trying to tell him.

Time was in flux, but also tangling and breaking but coming back together. It was as if whatever this was truly wasn’t corporeal enough to properly influence the timeline … yet. But they still had possible futures in which they did.

“Doctor, look out!” Rose yelled, and he barely had a moment to figure out what he was looking out for when one of the ‘ghosts’ walked right through him.

Cold.

Death.

Nothing.

It felt awful. Both he and his wife shuddered at the shared sensation, and a horrible metallic taste lingered on the Doctor’s tongue. Whatever these creatures were, he knew without a doubt that they weren’t good.

What are we gonna do?! Rose panicked across the bond.

He didn’t know. But he would figure it out. Before he could properly articulate that, Jackie finally caught up with them.

“They haven’t got long,” she told them. “Midday shift only lasts a couple of minutes. They’re about to fade.”

“What do you mean, ‘shift’?” the Doctor asked, hating that Jackie Tyler knew more about the phenomenon than he did and ignoring his bondmate’s exasperation about this fact. “Since when did ‘ghosts’ have ‘shifts’? Since when did ‘shifts’ have ‘ghosts’? What’s going on?”

He tried to think again about how it had physically felt, his thoughts moving so fast that he had to have missed something important. So much information coming in, but the horrid feeling drowned a lot of it out. It definitely wasn’t natural - nothing about them was. They didn’t belong here. Not on this planet, not even in this galaxy. But yet there was something familiar as well. A wrongness that he’d felt before? But he’d never felt anything like that before, so how -?

You’ll figure it out, Rose assured him.

“Oh, he’s not happy when I know more than him, is he?” Jackie commented, cheekily catching onto exactly what he’d been thinking earlier. His wife nearly laughed despite the dire seriousness of the situation.

“But no one’s running, or screaming, or freaking out,” the Doctor continued as if she hadn’t spoken.

“Why should we? Here we go, twelve minutes past.”

They all watched as the so-called ‘ghosts’ slowly faded out of existence. The timelines around them became more stable, but still with an ever so slight flicker. Probably because whatever was making it possible for these things to press themselves onto the Earth was still happening, still intended to do it again. After all, apparently there were shifts (of all the rubbish things).

Calm down. Rose sent a soothing wave of comfort over the bond as they headed back toward her mum’s flat - and it did help, but only a little.

I need more information, he told her (also reminding himself).

Once inside again, he took his wife’s hand and pulled her into the sitting room, all but dragging her onto his lap when he sat on the sofa and turned on the telly. It was years ago that he’d last done this, sat in Jackie Tyler’s flat attempting to figure out what alien phenomena was happening via channel flipping. Her mum sat down with them and thankfully didn’t comment about the way he was nearly clinging to her daughter.

One of the things he’d quickly flipped through when they arrived was the TV guide, so the first program he turned on was ‘Ghostwatch’, which he’d assumed was one of those fake ghost hunting shows with subpar night vision and poorly altered technology that really only picked up and enhanced the latent low level psychic radio waves of the people in the area, who of course were imagining the machine would say something spooky. Obviously it was something different.

So those ghost hunting things really are rubbish? his bondmate commented, sounding a little disappointed.

Sorry, he replied, even though he wasn’t feeling apologetic in the slightest. I could make one of those ‘ghost’ voice boxes and sit in this room and your mum would be able to hear everything we were saying right now. It actually is impressive technology, telepathic vocalizers. But it’s an accident that the human race hasn’t realized yet.

It was a good distraction, talking to Rose about this, because the actual Ghostwatch program was beyond unsettling.

“What the hell’s going on?” he muttered aloud, as the host of the program was obviously adding to a story that had been in development for some time and not telling him anything helpful (not that something resembling a military formation around Westminster Bridge wasn’t worth noting, but still). He changed the channel.

The weather wasn’t about weather, it was about ‘ghosts’.

Good thing I got mum the Bazoolium, Rose tried to joke, but the thought was accompanied by waves of stress. The Doctor wished that he could help, could make her feel better, but he knew that his own anxiety was just compounding it, making a feedback loop. He flipped the channel again.

Ghost drama.

Do you think this is why the TARDIS landed us here, made us skip months ahead? His wife wondered as he navigated away from the reality show.

Nothing important.

Must be, though you’d think she’d land us right when it started. Where we could have done something about it before they had a chance to affect the timelines this much. He quickly hit the channel button, refocusing on what he’d noticed about the timelines around them when they were outside.

Ghost advertisements.

There was something familiar about those as well. He just needed to think. And skip the commercials.

Ghosts in France.

Worldwide, then? Rose hazarded a guess as things began to click. England. France. A glimpse of a time storm at the 2012 Olympics. He punched in a channel this time.

Ghosts in India.

Yes, that was what was so familiar! This is what he’d caught when they were watching the fireworks. He punched in another channel.

Ghosts in Japan.

At first he thought that the slight shift in his bondmate’s mood was just because Rose (and her mum) loved watching Japanese telly, but then he focused in on her thoughts and she was remembering the time storm as well. Not just the chaotic timelines, but what he had said about theirs. He wasn’t meant to see their timeline, it should be impossible, but it had been there, cutting through the storm and continuing on.

It was hope.

Regardless, he wasn’t about to take any chances. Everything was still in flux. Just because he had seen that didn’t mean it was fixed. Not with the way the timelines around them continued to swirl and change based on variables he still had no real knowledge of.

“It’s all over the world.” Planetwide catastrophe. Definite invasion. An invasion he’d missed. He didn’t want to stamp out the tenuous hope Rose was beginning to feel, but it was hard for him to not feel bleak about his chances of fixing this. Why would the TARDIS land them so late?!

The Doctor blindly changed the channel.

Eastenders.

Eastenders with ghosts.

He turned off the telly, tossed the remote onto the coffee table, and held his wife tighter for a moment before shifting them a bit so that he could more easily talk to Jackie. It wasn’t so bad, really, that he needed help from his mother-in-law. It was fine. If he repeated that enough, he’d eventually believe it, right?

“When did it start?”

Jackie leaned forward, obviously thrilled to get into things. “Well, first of all, Peggy heard this noise in the cellar, so she goes down-”

The Doctor rolled his eyes, already regretting asking. “No, I mean worldwide.”

“Oh. That was about two months ago. Just happened. Woke up one morning and there they all were. Ghosts everywhere. We all ran ‘round screaming and that. Whole planet was panicking. No sign of you, thank you very much. I tried calling, texting - nothing. Worried sick, but then it’s always been hard to get ahold of you in that ship of yours. Then it sort of sank in. It took us time to realize that we’re lucky.”

Two months ago. Those were the coordinates he had punched in. That he knew he had entered in. But the TARDIS had changed them. Why?!

Rose shifted off of his lap to sit closer to her mum.

“What makes you think it’s granddad?” she asked, rubbing Jackie’s shoulder, sympathy and compassion coming off of her in waves.

“It just feels like him,” his mother-in-law began to explain. “There’s that smell, those old cigarettes. Can’t you smell it?”

No. No, there definitely was not. And he would know. Superior olfactory system.

“I wish I could, mum, but I can’t.”

“You’ve got to make an effort,” Jackie insisted. “You’ve got to want it, sweetheart.”

And that, that gave him some real insight to what was going on. A psychic connection. Much more subtle than telepathy. Belief.

His wife turned to look at him as he confirmed his suspicions. 

“The more you want it, the stronger it gets.”

“Sort of, yeah,” Jackie replied.

“Like a psychic link,” the Doctor explained aloud, for her benefit. “Of course you want your old dad to be alive, but you’re wishing him into existence. The ghosts are using that to pull themselves in.”

Not that they were actually ghosts, but one thing at a time.

“You’re spoiling it.”

None of it was real, but Jackie’s heartbreak obviously was. Still, he couldn’t let her live in the illusion. Whatever the ‘ghosts’ really were, they were dangerous.

“I’m sorry, Jackie, but there’s no smell, there’s no cigarettes. Just a memory.”

“But if they’re not ghosts,” Rose chimed in, “what are they, then?”

The Doctor turned away, trying to think. The way the timelines react to them, the various possibilities, they must be corporeal in some context.

“Yeah, but they’re human!” her mother exclaimed. “You can see them. They look human.”

There’s shifts. Can’t have shifts without someone being in charge of the timing. So they don’t exist in the world all the time. Just some of the time. And without their proper form.

“She’s got a point,” his bondmate conceded. “I mean, they’re all sort of blurred, but they’re definitely people. Or humanoid, y’know.”

“Maybe not,” he pointed out, turning back toward them. “They’re pressing themselves into the surface of the world. But a footprint doesn’t look like a boot.” With that, he stood up. There was work to be done. “Let’s get back to the TARDIS. I have some scans I want to run.”

“You’re not takin’ off again, are you?” Jackie asked, alarmed.

“No, no. At least, not yet. Right now I just need the equipment.”

“How ‘bout I meet you there in a bit,” Rose suggested, standing up just to give him a hug.

He really wished her mother wasn’t in the room. It wasn’t that he was feeling particularly, er, romantic, but still. It would be nice, comforting to just be able to hold her for a moment, maybe a quick snog, without prying eyes. His wife smiled before standing up on her tiptoes and giving him a peck on the lips that he wasn’t quite ready for. When she went to step down, the Doctor pulled her right back up and gave her a proper kiss.

If he had his way, they wouldn’t be separated for a moment. His instincts were screaming against it. In the end, it made having to listen to Jackie scoff a very minor inconvenience. They were all in incredible danger, he could at least get a farewell snog.

“I’ll be home soon,” Rose promised as she broke the kiss.

Home.

Somehow she was always able to make him so ridiculously happy, even when the rest of him was gripped with fear. The Doctor didn’t trust his voice, so he simply nodded.

I love you, he projected over the bond.

I love you, too, she replied, even as she released him, stepping back towards her mum.

He noticed Jackie roll her eyes, but she also had a bit of a smile - he wasn’t going to forget that later.

“Right,” he finally managed. “Off I go, then. Oh! By the way, you might want to push some things aside in Rose’s old bedroom. Unless you want the neighbors to start complaining about ‘my constant comings and goings’ again. Planetwide invasion aside, we figured we’d stay a few weeks.”

Then he was out the door, though he still heard Jackie’s excited screech of, “Really?! Why didn’t you say so before!”

The Doctor couldn’t help but smile as he walked toward the TARDIS.

[thorne93]

Inside the Criminal Mind (Part 19)

Prompt: You’re married to Dr. Spencer Reid of the BAU, and are a distinguished doctor yourself on the team. You’re sent down to Miami, Florida for teaching and as a side request from the FBI, to investigate a string of missing persons. When you think you’ve figured out who the unsub is, your life becomes more complicated than you ever could’ve imagined.

Word Count: 2043

Warnings: (throughout the fic –>) death, blood, gore, killings, language, disturbing mental notions, mentions of rapes/murder/etc (You know, Dexter and Criminal Minds related business)

Notes: Thank you so much to @arrow-guy​​​​​, @carryonmyswansong​​​​​, and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​ - without each of you, I couldn’t have finished, written, or properly navigated this story. Each of you helped me fish out details that were incredibly important to me. Beta’d by @carryonmyswansong​​​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​… Aesthetic by @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​​

This is a crossover of Criminal Minds x Dexter. First time writing Dexter.

Also, the timeline is after Season 1 of Dexter, but during season 14-ish of Criminal minds into Season 15. Enjoy!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“What the hell is wrong with you?” he demanded as soon as you met at the apartment. “Killing? Really?”

“I don’t know what you want me to say,” you softly said.

“Are you at least a little remorseful?” he asked.

“Is that really what you want to know? My level of guilt? Is that what’s going to make this feel better?”

“Maybe, I don’t know! All I know is the woman I love is a serial killer, and a federal agent and I don’t know how to process this!” he shouted, his eyes wild with anger. 

You just sat there quietly while Spencer paced in front of you. You had no idea what to say or do at this point. The truth was out, what more did he want from you? 

“How did you even decide you wanted to do it?” 

“When I realized it was Dexter, and who his victims were… I realized I wasn’t entirely unhappy with it. Then I remembered how much anger I had for Rochester getting let out and all the other dozens of bastards that were found innocent, or evidence was lost, and I just got so mad that… that I thought he could teach me.” 

He stopped pacing to sit in front of you on the coffee table. “Has he brainwashed or manipulated you in any way?”

“No. I did this on my own. I found out he was the killer, and confronted him.”

“And you’re just okay with this? You’re his… student?”

“I like to think I’m his friend. He was very helpful and supportive when you were missing.”

“Oh for fucks’s sakes that right.You brought him to the office. Jesus, you had a serial killer in the building. And you’re calling him your friend? What the hell happened to you down here?” 

“You getting targeted by one too many unsubs,” you said in a low voice, solemn lacing every word as you stared at him. “Spencer, I may be a killer, but I still love you with every atom of my body. You’ve been kidnapped, tortured, shot, forced to take drugs, and abused by so many unsubs, I just can’t stand it any more. I wanted some justice for those bastards who did things to you. Tell me you haven’t wanted to kill people before, some of our worst unsubs. Foyett, Scratch, Cat?” 

“Wanting to and acting on it are two different things, Y/N! We don’t chase fantasies, we hunt people who actually act on them!” he cried out, his face getting red. “If you didn’t feel bad for what you did, you’d be a lot more defensive right now. Which means you know what you’re doing is wrong.” 

“Well which is it? Am I a cold-blooded psychopath, or am I a misguided agent, someone who lost their way, like Elle?” you demanded.

“That all depends on how you felt when you killed them,” he stated coolly.

“What do you want me to say? What? That it didn’t feel good? That it didn’t feel like some sort of accomplishment or victory getting some of these people off the streets? Do you want me to tell you that I feel guilty?” 

“Do you?” he asked, accusation in his tone. 

“Not particularly no. All I did was skip some bullshit and red tape. You know what it’s like to work in this job. You know how god damn hard it is to watch a killer go free after we put in hours and effort to get them off the streets, they sit on a stand, lie, take plea deals and they’re out in five, ten years, doing it all over again. All the red tape, all the laws, all the restrictions, and for what? So someone can go out and murder a little girl again? So someone can brutally torture a family before slaughtering it? Sorry if I don’t particularly feel any remorse for stopping them, for good.” 

“Tell me what you felt when you killed them,” he demanded, almost as if it were a plea. 

You threw your hands out to the side, a gesture of giving up. “I...I felt relief, knowing they wouldn’t hurt anyone else, alright? It didn’t feel satisfactory, it didn’t feel sexual, it didn’t feel euphoric. I don’t get high doing it like Dexter does, okay? I just do it as a means to an end. I just do it because the way the FBI works is too damn long with no guarantee, so I took matters into my own hands. I did what every agent dreams of doing.” 

Spencer eyed you up and down for a moment, and you couldn’t quite tell what he was thinking. Perhaps he was about to turn you in. Maybe he was rethinking the marriage. Maybe he was finally understanding you. 

“Are you worried that maybe getting inside killer’s heads that now maybe they’ve gotten into mine?” 

“No, I don’t. You’re smarter than that.” 

“Then profile me, Spence.” 

He made an anguished, frustrated expression. “Y/N, don’t do this. We’re better than this.” 

“No, I want you to do it. What do you see when you look at me? An unsub, or your wife?”

He took a few steps towards you. “I see both, don’t you get that? That’s why this is so hard for me. I understand where you’re coming from, I do, but I can’t justify what you’ve done. As much as I may love you, I can’t pretend this is okay.” 

You nodded, your chest getting tighter as you started to feel colder. “I understand that. You do what you have to do, I won’t stand in your way. I never have.” 

“But you aren’t going after the people who hurt me,” he noted after a moment of quiet. “You said you were doing this because of the things that happened to me, but you aren’t killing them.”

“You’re right. I’m going after surrogates. You know who I kill?” 

“Does it matter?”

“To me it does… Spence, I kill animal abusers. People who use animals for personal gain. People who run unsanitary farms. People who hurt an innocent creature. I honestly do try to do this to uphold the oath we took. I know it’s messy, I know it’s not the way you’d do it, or anyone should do it, but life was starting to feel a little… pointless. I felt like, what’s the point in doing the investigating, going through red tape, following protocol, if all it gets us is a guilty man back out on the streets? I’m not saying we deserve forgiveness or a pass. I’m just hoping you can understand why I did it. I did it for people like you who are just doing their job and wind up victims to sadistic, cruel people.”

He sat there and his eyes drifted down to the floor. 

“I watched you turn into a shell of a man in prison thanks to some psycho with a vendetta, and even worse, you came pretty close to becoming what I am.”

He nodded for a moment. “I...That was--”

“I’m not faulting you, Spence,” you assured, putting your hand on his knee. You were thrilled when he didn’t cringe away from you. 

“No, I mean, I’m not any better. I laced those men’s drugs with poison. I wanted them to die. I saw them kill Luis and I guess I snapped…I had no excuse to do that.” 

You bobbed your head. “Do you see now, how I can do what I did?” 

“I don’t know. It’s such a big leap. I mean, I killed because they murdered my friend. You don’t even know these people.”

“I don’t have to know them to know their victims didn’t deserve it.”

“This goes against everything I stand for as an agent, and worst of all, you’re doing it. If you were anyone else, I would’ve called this in by now. But it’s you and I can’t… can’t watch you go through what I did.” 

You bit your lip. “I’ll respect any decision you make. If I’m being honest, I told you the truth because having you believe I was unfaithful and losing you that way would hurt a hell of a lot worse. At least this way, I hope somewhere you can find it in you to see where I’m coming from. After eight years of dealing with lost battles, almost losing you, and watching the injustice in this world, that’s where I stand. But if you left me because of a lie, a lie that could never, ever be true, I couldn’t live with myself. You knowing I am faithful to you, that I love you, means more to me than anything else. I hope you can see that.” 

“I do. I know the toll this job takes.”

You nodded. “If you can think of it like dilaudid, it’s kind of like that. It’s really an addiction for Dexter, not so much for me, but it is… a bit of a stress relief, to know those people won’t be hurting anyone any more.” 

For a moment you two sat there in quietness. The silence killed you, and while the next words out of your mouth were agonizing, you felt they needed to be said, for his peace of mind. 

“I understand if you don't love or trust me any more. If you want a divorce while you decide, I would understand. It would kill me, but I would. I just hope you know I honestly did this all to protect other people." 

He peered at you, something… kind deep within his gaze. 

“Right now… I don’t know what I want. I don’t want to make any rash decisions. Like I said, I’ve tried to murder people too, so I can’t exactly play the superiority card right now. Let me just think on it. I’m going to go back home to D.C. while I figure out what I want to do. You can wrap up your semester here, and then by the time you get home, I’ll let you know what I decide.” 

You nodded, your chest tightening. This was it, wasn’t it? He was going to go home, file for divorce, and send you and Dexter off to a maximum security prison. 

“What about us in the meantime? Should I not call you or…?” 

“I’d rather you didn’t. I don’t want my decision to be made by any emotional attachments.”

“Understood,” you said, fighting the lump in your throat. 

“Could you do me a favor though?”

“Anything.”

“Don’t… kill any more?”

“I won’t,” you promised quickly. 

He nodded and stood up from the coffee table. 

“Are you going to stay here?” you asked as you stood, hugging yourself. This was so god damn painful. Watching your husband treat you like a criminal. No touching, hugging, kissing. No kind or sweet words. No nicknames. Just cold, calculated interviews. 

“I’ll be at a hotel, and I’ll leave in the morning.”

“You could always stay here,” you offered. 

“I don’t think I can do that,” he said solemnly. “I… I can’t be in the same room with the woman I love, and the woman who kills.”

All you did was nod. 

He didn’t do anything but bob his head once, then he ducked out of your apartment. 

You stayed awake all night that night, not a minute went by that you weren’t crying. Not because of losing your freedom, or losing your job, or damning Dexter, or failing at just keeping a secret. You could live with all that - but losing your marriage, Spencer… That was the kicker. 

The horrible part was that it was worth it though. To know those animals got out safely from those dog fighting rings. To know that those innocent people at that chef’s restaurant weren’t going to suffer any more. As much as it ached, down to your very bones to lose the one man you’d ever loved, the one man who was perfect in your eyes, at the end of the day, people and animals needed saving, and you did that. You gave them that justice. 

Now, you had two weeks to live the rest of your life. You wondered what you would do with it.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[msjr0119]

We Belong

Part 14

Evangeline Bruley returns to Cordonia to take over her families Duchy. She was betrothed to the now King, however he is engaged to Duchess Riley but still has lingering feelings towards his first love. What will happen during her time back in Cordonia?

Book: The Royal Romance

Please do not read if you are under 18, if you do you are consenting that you are over this age. Also do not continue to read if any of the below warnings affect you.

Warnings: Swearing, references about sex, slight smut, mental health, depression, mention of death penalty, mention of past murder, mention of attempted murder, mention of adultery (past/present), mention of alcoholism.

Tag list- if you want to be removed just let me know 😊

@pedudley @kacie-0156 @loveellamae @annekebbphotography @ladyangel70 @kingliam2019 @bascmve01 @drakewalker04 @texaskitten30 @kimmiedoo5 @walker7519 @lodberg @cmestrella @hopefulmoonobject @axwalker @rafasgirl23415 @yukinagato2012 @cordonianroyalty @custaroonie @seriouslybadchoices @rainbowsinthestorm @princess-geek @jared2612 @desireepow-1986 @twinkle-320 @queenjilian @princessleac1

******

Everyone arrived back in Cordonia a couple of days after Drake and Evie had become engaged, and Bastien had received the call from Glen.

That night Drake felt like he was in a dream, the girl he had loved for years had agreed to become his wife.

Entering the room, Drake had arranged for the staff to place rose petals on to the bed, along with other extra surprises such as; a fruit basket, chocolate, champagne.

Evie’s eyes widened, her heart sunk knowing how much time and effort he had put into this proposal. Grateful that he had forgiven her- she wouldn’t have forgiven herself if he had ghosted her after she ran away.

“I’m so lucky to have you.” She whispered, but loud enough for him to hear her.

“I’m the lucky one..” Drake couldn’t help but look at her adorably. His Evie. His world.

“We’re both lucky. Decades of friendship, now we have decades of being husband and wife.”

“I can’t wait to call you my wife.” Picking her up, he held her against the wall as he began kissing her passionately. “I hope you’re not tired.. because I want my fiancée all to myself tonight..” lifting her skirt up, he ran his fingers along her thigh- sending shivers down her spine.

“I’m all yours. Forever and always, I love you. I think we should do a toast.” Forcing her way past him, she walked over to the table where the champagne was cooling. Drake looked down towards his throbbing cock- is she serious right now?

Shaking the bottle of champagne, she quickly stripped down to her underwear. Once she opened the fizz, it sprayed in every direction as she attempted to pour it onto herself.

“So Duke Walker to be... have you ever licked champagne off of a beautiful duchesses body?”

That night in the hotel room, ran through Drakes mind on a loop- it was one of the happiest days of his life. The most hottest rendezvous he had with her, as of yet. However, today it would be erased from his memory for a short time- today was the day he finally faced his mother.

****

Walking into the hospital, Drake and Savannah were both hesitant- neither wanted to see their mother. They had put up with her shit ever since they were children, they tried to get her help which she refused. Now they were adults, both starting their new journeys with their other halves she was down the priority list in their eyes.

“I’m not seeing her!” Drake snapped. “She is having the death penalty, and thinks that this little attention seeking will make us all feel sorry for her- give her another chance.”

“Drake...”

“Don’t Drake me, Evie.” Regretting talking time her this way, he apologised immediately. He was just frustrated with the whole situation.

“I’ll go in instead, when and if you both want to go and visit her you can.” Liam suggested to his friend. “I’ll go with you Liam, I chose her fate.”

“No! I don’t want you seeing her, Evie.”

“Drake, it’s fine. She’s not going to hurt me infront of Liam is she?” Possibly? We don’t know what she’s capable of- Drake muttered to himself.

“Come on Drake, we’ll get a coffee.” Savannah pleaded with her brother. Eventually he agreed willingly to them, deep down he disagreed.

“If she upsets you, or tries to hurt you run out of the room.” Evie nodded. “I love you.”

“I love you too.” Drake kissed her on the lips, not caring what anyone thought.

****

“Mrs Walker.”

‘That will be you soon’, Liam whispered in her ear.

‘I’ll be the better Mrs Walker, your Majesty.’ Winking at him, they both laughed hoping that she didn’t hear them.

“Evangeline. Your Majesty. Where are my children? I need them.”

“Why did you go on a hunger strike Bianca?” Liam asked in an authoritative tone of voice. He was a busy man- he didn’t have time to pussy-foot around the woman who clearly wasn’t sane.

The guards entered the cell, Bianca was rocking back and forth in the corner- dampness was dripping onto her, she was oblivious to this. Vacant.

“Mrs Walker?” Glen attempted to gain her assistance, he even banged on the wall- but she was still continuing to ignore them. “Your food is here. You need to eat at some point!”

“You have it. I’m not hungry.” Shaking his head, he placed the food in front of her forcefully. Causing her to jump, she noticed him scowl towards her. “Eat it, before you kill yourself.”

Bianca nit picked at the food, not raising it to her mouth- instead was just flicking it around the plate. She was languishing in a cell and was unsure as to how much more she could deal with. Deep down she knew she deserved every punishment that she was given. But would never admit it, until she was desperate. Knowing her life was a ticking time bomb- she would pull out any trick to secure her life. Glen walked away, knowing he couldn’t force feed her. It had been two days since she had eaten anything. With Bianca having already suffered a terrible breakdown when Jackson died- she was close to doing it again. Standing up she punched her knuckles to bloody pulps against the cell door and threw her dinner against the wall. Anguished that no-one was giving her a chance- she believed that she was a victim due to her mental illness. Now that Toby had died, she could and would blame him for everything. It was her word against his. Bianca took a stand when another guard brought her something to eat later on that day, she refused to eat again. As she told him that she wouldn’t eat anything until someone listened to her and helped her, it was clear from her eyes that she was serious, even though this could put her in serious peril. That serious peril, occurred the day after- when Glen found her unconscious on the floor. Immediately requesting medical assistance, he knew he had to break the news to Bastien. He wondered where he was located as he was due back in Cordonia the previous day.

“Bastien. Where have you been? You need to return to Cordonia now!”

“I feel empty without my children... I need them. I don’t want to die. I need their forgiveness. Everyone’s forgiveness.”

“Maybe you should have thought about that before? You’ve caused too much hurt for everyone! You could have killed Evie!” Evie placed her hand on to Liam’s arm, her eyes pleaded with him to calm down- she was grateful for him defending her. But he didn’t need to waste another single breath on her.

“I’m sorry Evie...” pausing she noticed the jewellery shining on her left hand. “Are you wearing Pats ring?”

“Yes, myself and Drake are engaged. We love each other, and you are not going to hurt us anymore.”

“Bianca, I will try and get your ‘children’ to say goodbye to you. Your sentencing is scheduled for next week. I’ll see you prior to that.”

“Liam, please. I need them. They need me.”

“They’ve done well without you. Savannah has Bertrand and Bartie. Drake has Evie. Goodbye Bianca.” Liam held his hand out towards Evie, encouraging her to leave with him.

“Evie, stay with me.”

“It’s fine Liam, I won’t be long..” Kissing her on the cheek, she noticed that Liam had left the door open slightly ajar. Mainly to have access to barge in for any emergency.

“What?”

“Convince Liam to release me and drop the sentencing. I’ll do whatever I need to do. I’ll support you all. You’re going to be family. Please. I’ll stop drinking. I’ll get help.”

“It’s not Liam that you have to convince. It’s myself. As well as the council. I was ready to help you, then you maliciously informed me about my miscarriage. You show no remorse for anything that you have done or continue to keep doing. My parents took in your children for months. How do you repay them? By killing them. How do you repay the royal family for taking over my parents roles? Attempting to kill them all.”

“I am so sorry. I don’t deserve anything, please reconsider my life. If it was Drake with your parents what would you want him to do?”

“Don’t bring my parents in to this. They were good people! I was already saving your life, it was the council that wasn’t. I wanted to help you because you are the mother of the man that I love. You took my parents away from me, as well our chance of being parents. I’ve got nothing more to say to you Bianca.” Reaching out to her, she held onto Evie’s hand with a tight grip. Bianca needed to tell someone. Anyone. The thing that had made her go crazy in the cold damp cell.

“Evie... I saw Jackson. At the wedding.”

“So you was drunk? The only person who can help you, is yourself. You have a week to prove that. You need help if you are seeing your deceased husband.”

“I wasn’t drunk! I heard his voice. He was there! I swear!”

“Evie. Wait. Please.” Exiting the room, she had doubts about what to do.

“Evie?” Wiping the tears away, she turned to face Drake- pulling him flush to her.

“Did she hurt you?”

“No. She just doesn’t want to die. I think you should make amends with her before the sentencing. Stay with Savannah, I’ll get Liam to take me home. I need to pack for London, for Toby’s funeral. I’ll see you at home?”

“Home. It’s still so surreal. I won’t be long. I don’t have much to say to her.”

*****

Arriving in the uk, Evie headed to the hotel to quickly change for Toby’s funeral. There was a mix of emotions running through her mind; relief that he couldn’t hurt her anymore, nerves about seeing the ghosts of her past including Elise, empathy for his family who she was once close to- the family who she believed at the time was going to be her family. After a quick shower, she quickly rung Drake up to let him know that she was safe and had arrived. He explained that he was missing her and couldn’t wait for her to return.

Calling for a taxi, she arrived at the church- seeing people gathering outside, her legs didn’t want to move forward after seeing that woman who screwed her ex fiance behind her back.

“Evangeline. So you’ve returned. I never thought I’d see your sad little pathetic face again...”

“Shut the fuck up before I do it for you! I’m surprised you’re here and not laid on your back somewhere...”

“Just admit it Evie. He preferred blondes. He preferred women who gave him attention and saw to all his sexual needs....”

“We had sex! We was engaged for fuck sake! You know nothing about my relationship with Toby - probably because everything he told you was complete utter bullshit!”

“Or maybe you was just a fuck?” Elise smirked, Evie knew people were around them but she didn’t care. Raising her fist, she was about to aim straight for the blondes nose- hoping that a plastic surgeon wouldn’t be able to reconstruct it. A hand grabbed her before she could inflict any pain- turning around she was shocked as to why he was here.

“Don’t do it. Whoever she is, isn’t worth it. You’re better than that Evie...”

“Hello handsome. Thank you for rescuing me from this mad woman. My names Elise. And yours is?”

“My names Liam.” Elise stepped forward towards Liam, Evie stood inbetween them before she could do anything more.

“Don’t even think about touching him!”

“So you know him?”

“He’s my fiancé, so leave him alone.” Liam looked at her confused as Elise perked her eyebrows up. Fixing his expression, he placed his arm around her waist knowing she was doing this for a reason.

“You know Liam, Evie can’t keep her fiancés on a leash... if you get bored you know where to find me... I’m known for giving the best blowjobs around here...” Nearly physically vomiting, he wondered what the hell Toby saw in this woman. Especially when he was lucky enough to have someone like Evie in his life.

“What the fuck?” The words slipped out, as he was still shell shocked with the introduction with Elise.

“Don’t swear your Majesty. It doesn’t suit you...”

“Are you going to explain what all that was about?”

“Are you going to explain why you are here?”

“Toby was my childhood friend, my meetings got cancelled. I am here on behalf of everyone. Besides I thought you’d need some extra support and company. Now your turn, explain.”

“She’s the slut that ruined my engagement. She was screwing him behind my back. She just gets under my skin...” before she could continue Elise returned with a few other woman that were her and Evie’s mutual friends. Once upon a time.

“This is him. Isn’t he gorgeous? Like a Greek god. This is Evie’s potential second failed engagement. I mean they haven’t even kissed yet...” Elise sniggered along with the other women whilst ‘swooning’ over him.

“We aren’t into the whole PDA. I like to keep my sex life private with my fiancée.” Empathising the word fiancée he had hoped that that would be the end of it.

“We don’t care. Do we girls? Just kiss.” Elise was peer pressuring them as she wasn’t convinced that their relationship was sincere. Narrowing her eyes towards Evie’s direction, she pointed towards the watch on her wrist. Tick tock.

“Oh I will be kissing him and doing a whole lot more when we return to the hotel. Isn’t that right darling?” Evie placed her hand across Liam’s chest, looking up towards his with a fake seductive expression.

“Just kiss. What’s the issue?” Evie turned towards Liam, cupping his cheek. Just pretend that you are movie star Evie. It’s fake. That woman isn’t digging her claws into someone else’s man. Kissing Liam slowly to begin with, his hands roamed her body as the kiss deepened. Opening her mouth, he slipped his tongue in- both tongues battling against each other. Breaking the kiss, Evie noticed that Liam enjoyed that kiss far too much than he should have.

“Did you enjoy your live porn? I mean this is what I do to my fiancé...”. Pointing to his obvious erection, the women all gasped- all now swooning even more over the handsome stranger. Elise grit her teeth together, before dragging her ‘minions’ away.

“What the fuck Liam?”

“You came on to me... I can’t help it. I’m a man.”

“Riley is going to chop your dick off your Majesty. I’m telling Drake why we kissed. To save that slut from ruining anymore relationships. No need to thank me. No matter how hard you resist, Elise always get what she wants. It’s up to you if you tell your wife.”

“You enjoyed it really, Duchess Evangeline.” Winking he was only joking. Even though he had cheated on Riley he did secretly enjoy it- but that kiss was closure even if it was fake. He realised that Evie wasn’t want he wanted anymore. Riley and his child was his world. As much as he loved Evie, he was grateful with how fate had occurred in his life.

“Your Majesty. Duchess Evangeline. Drake. Riley. Not so innocent are we Evie?” Elise spoke quietly standing in the shadows overhearing the conversation- her imagination began to roam wild.

*****

Evie was settling down in the hotel, hearing a knock at the door she assumed it would be Liam. He had offered to take her out for food after the wake but she politely declined, he continued attempting to persuade her but she ignored him. Forcing herself off the sofa, she placed the glass of wine on the table.

“Hello...”

“Hi...”

“Did you not receive my last text?”

“It must have slipped my mind...”

“Well as I said before I thought you’d need some extra support and company. You need me, no matter how much you deny it.” Pulling him through the threshold, she forced a kiss onto his lips.

“I do need you. I want more than a kiss, now that you’re here... we are alone...”

[bisexualsforprompto]

Of Roommates and Red Heroes Chapter 4

Quick note: I had to change Mari’s hero names for logistical reasons, it’s now Lady Pegasus

Ao3

One            Previous

Of Nightmares and Thanksgiving Dinner

The bakery was on fire. Hawkmoth stood in front, laughing hysterically as the bakery, her parents, her livelihood, burned to the ground. He relished his triumph a moment longer before bolting at the sign of Ladybug’s furious face.

Marinette let the tears flow as she ran to the bakery, which was mere ash. She tossed the brick and mortar, ‘ please’ she cried. She dug her fingers through the ash until they were as black as charcoal. Yet there was no sign of her parent’s remains. Marinette sobbed, she couldn’t control her hands anymore, they kept digging until they were raw, calloused and bloody. Then she wept, when she saw what lay underneath.

A man, muscular, not overly tall, black hair with a white streak, blue eyes glazed over, and mouth curved into a viscous smile lay dead on the ground.

“Jason!!!” Marinette screamed as she tried to shake him awake, “No, no, no, this isn’t happening!”

His eyes, still glazed had humor in them, “If you couldn’t save me, who are you kidding? Even master Fu didn’t trust you, he sent you to Gotham because he knew you couldn’t do it.” He laughed, “Guess he was right.”

Marinette keeled over, “No, god no. Please, wake up. Wake up,

“WAKE UP! Mari wake up!” Jason screamed to a screaming Marinette who’d fallen asleep on his arm watching the Macy’s parade

~•Thursday, Nov. 28, 5pm EST•~•

Marinette shot up, “Wh-what?” She said dazed, she couldn’t tell dream from reality, she could still almost feel the burning sensation on her fingers from touching hot rubble.

“Buttercup, I get that you don’t wanna talk. Trust me, nobody gets it more than me, but you know what else I know?” Jason asked firmly, “You can’t just leave things pent up, because then it’s going to spill out and you’ll do something you’ll never forgive yourself for.” Something that could probably get her killed, Jason added silently. He couldn’t lose her, not when they’d just found each other. He knew what she was feeling, he could practically live her anguish just from the blood curdling screams she’d emitted from her dream.

“I- I- I just can’t. Not yet,” Marinette sighed putting her hand on her elbow and turning away. Jason put his arm around her and spun her to face him on the couch. He looked at her, he saw the tears welling in her eyes. He stood up suddenly and gave her what she needed, a hug.

That’s when it all poured out, she cried, she cried for what felt like hours. She clung onto Jason tightly, like a child with her teddy bear. She wanted more, she knew she was high on emotion, but she felt the urge to kiss Jason. Kiss him till all the feelings went away.

‘ Pull yourself together Marinette! Jason is your roommate, not your lover! Ladybug doesn’t cry anyway!’ She told herself, she pulled away from Jason, the tears had disappeared, what was left was a cold stare.

Jason knew it all too well, she was trying to keep her emotions in check.

“Butterc-“

“We should get ready for the dinner,” Marinette stated plainly going to the kitchen.

Jason sighed and followed her, she wouldn’t talk, she wouldn’t allow herself to feel but goddammit, Jason would cheer her up.

“So Buttercup, you excited to meet my friends?” Marinette gave a small smile, Jason mentally high fived himself.

“Yeah, from what you’ve said they seem great!” Her face grew to her regular permanent smile, entrancing as always, the only thing Jason wasn’t fond of was her puffy red eyes. “Kor’i and Dick will love you, they’ll probably adopt you on the spot.”

That earned a chuckle from the bluenette, “I can’t wait.”

~•Thursday, Nov. 28, 6pm EST•~•

Jason heard a rap on the door as Marinette took set the pie on the table decorated in white tablecloth. Her traditional pigtails were intact but she had changed into black slacks and a button up shirt with her signature black jacket. Jason pulled open the door to see Roy, Kor’i and Dick.

“Nice to see you Jason!” Kor’i exclaimed wrapping him into a hug. Roy smirked and walked in along with Dick. Marinette walked over to the guests extending a hand, “Hi, I’m Marinette, Jason’s roommate.”

“Nice to meet you!” Dick smiled charmingly while shaking her hand and returning back to his wife (who looked like she was squeezing Jason so tight he couldn’t breathe).

“Hmm Jason never mentioned you were so pretty, Pigtails,” Roy winked leaving a flustered and blushing Marinette. Roy was certainly not bad looking, she entertained, messy red hair, piercing green eyes, and a build that could only be envied by weight lifters. Marinette found herself wondering how he got so ripped. She shook the thought away and went over to join the group.

“It’s so good to meet you! I’m Kor’i...Grayson” Kor’i said, using her husband's last name, releasing Jason from her grip and zeroing in on Mari, “Good to know our Jason has a good influence finally.” Marinette giggled and nodded, “I don’t know about that-“

“Jay Jay won’t shut up about his new little sister, you got him to stop drinking too, you are a good influence. I’m Dick Grayson by the way,” Dick responded giving her smile of pride and appreciation. Marinette blushed, giving Jason time to take the wheel, “Well Buttercup, should we show them your pie?” Roy raised an eyebrow and gave a sexy smirk, ‘ Not sexy! Not sexy!!!’ Marinette tried to convince herself, at least Roy wasn’t as bad as Red Hood, if he was Marinette wouldn’t be able to function.

“Yes! I’m all for pie!” Dick smiled taking his chuckling wife’s arm to the table. Marinette and Jason went to join them, but Roy placed a hand on Marinette’s shoulders, “I’m Roy by the way.” Marinette smiled sweetly, “Nice to meet you.”

“Likewise Pigtails,” Roy winked causing Marinette to turn bright red and Jason to glare at him. Roy chuckled under his breath as the three of them joined the table.

~•~Thursday, Nov. 28, 10pm EST•~•

Dinner had gone over well. It was great actually. The only thing Marinette would’ve changed was Roy subtly flirting with her, not because it made her uncomfortable but because she found herself lost in fantasy about him when he called her Pigtails and winked.

It was considerably late and Marinette did want to get to sleep, but then she remembered that she didn’t know the sleeping arrangements. She didn’t really know how to ask so when everyone was focused on a football game Marinette whispered, as quietly as possible, to Jason, “Where should I sleep tonight?” Roy overheard and smirked, “Well Kor’i and Dick can share in the guest room together, Jason can take his own room and we can share Pigtails.” Marinette blushed and Jason gave Roy a death stare. If looks could kill…

“ Or,” Jason hissed quietly at Roy, “Kor’i and Dick take the guest room, you take my room, Marinette sleeps in hers and I take the couch.” Roy chuckled at Jason, getting under his skin was too fun, “Sure thing.”

“If you guys aren’t going to watch the game and instead gossip like teenagers we’ll change the channel,” Dick said with Kor’i wrapped around his arms reaching for the remote. Dick pressed a button and a news broadcast appeared. Everyone gasped audibly at what horrors laid on the screen.

Marinette didn’t know a lot about Gotham villains, but the face of this one was recognizable world wide.

Joker. In full manic glory he was laughing insanely, sweat running down his sick, white painted face and causing his green hair to stick to it. He held a little boy at gunpoint, screaming, “Where’s Batsy? Or maybe one of his sidekicks?” When only the sound military choppers answered his query Joker’s smile darkened and he spoke again, “Come on, I haven’t got all day!”

Jason’s fists clenched, Roy and him communicated silently as they tried to plan how to get to the scene without revealing their identities to Marinette.

“Why don’t you go to bed Buttercup? It’s late and this isn’t something you should see.” Normally Marinette would be annoyed at Jason treating her like a child, but she was relieved. This gave her an exit, and she’d be able to transform into Lady Pegasus to help with Joker. She walked to her room, not noticing how the heroes behind her had gathered and were motioning.

Marinette walked into her room and closed the door, she gave it a good minute before whispering, “Spots on! Tikki, Kaaliki, unify!”

Marinette was able to make a portal quickly, she had noticed the location of Joker on the TV and teleported there immediately. She landed behind a cargo container, which was deserted and dark. She peeked around it to see she was directly behind Joker and his hostage.

She thought about how she might go about saving the little boy when she saw four heroes land in front of the Joker. She recognized Red Hood from their previous encounter, and she saw a Nightwing with two other heroes she didn’t know the name of.

“Well, well, now things are getting interesting!” Joker cackled earning him a glare from the only girl in the group of heroes who stood next to Nightwing. “Tell me, Nightwing, Red Hood, Arsenal, Starfire-“

“So you know our names! Big deal!” Said the redhead, Arsenal.

“How rude,” scoffed Joker pushing the gun closer to the little boy’s temple, “Didn’t even let me finish.”

Joker moved the boy’s light brown hair out of the way and stared into his caramel eyes, “Tell me, do you want to save him?” He asked motioning towards the terrified little boy, “Or do you want to disarm the four bombs around Gotham that I’ve set to go off in twenty minutes?” The heroes faltered,

“You’re bluffing,” Nightwing said crossing his arms. “Am I?” Joker cackled pulling a detonator out of his coat, “Now, now. I want our game to be fair, each of you start out for one of the bombs or you can save the kid and millions of others go boom!” Joker made a motion, flicking his hand to symbolize the boom. “Better hurry and make your decision though, the clock is ticking!” Joker laughed pulling out a small clock which was counting down from twenty minutes.

Lady Pegasus saw her chance, “lucky charm,” she whispered. A red and black spotted frisbee fell from the sky. The gun flashed with spots as did her yo-yo. While the heroes were stunned, trying to figure out what to do, Marinette threw the frisbee, causing it to collide with great force into the gun. The gun was knocked out of Joker’s hands, “Hey!” He shouted, but before he could turn around Lady Pegasus had stood up and used her yo-yo to take the detonator from him.

“Oooh!” He grinned as he looked back at her, “New meat! She’s good too!” Arsenal was able to grab the child and the gun while Joker was distracted, “Sure you have my detonator, but the bombs are still rigged to go off in,” Joker spat at Marinette checking his clock, “Nineteen minutes! And you don’t know where they areee!” He singsonged as  he started to laugh.

Nightwing pulled up the schematics of Gotham, looking specifically for trace elements of laughing gas which Joker always filled his bombs with.

“Arsenal, central station! Starfire, Grand Plaza! I’ve got Upper Market, Red Hood take Gotham Flats!” Nightwing commanding signaling a special message to Red Hood. Both Red Hood and Lady Pegasus’ eyes widened, ‘ Gotham Flats is where I live with Jason! Oh no! Roy, Dick, and Kor’i are there too!’ Marinette internally screamed.

‘ Buttercup is sleeping in her room! I have to save her!!!’ Jason panicked as he started off to his home.

“Red Hood!” Lady Pegasus called. “Look Mystery Girl, we appreciate you saving our asses back there but now I’ve gotta move!” Jason said as he internally freaked out, he wanted to learn more about the mystery girl of course but he wanted to save Marinette more.

“I’m coming with you!” Lady Pegasus yelled as she ran to catch up with him, she grabbed her frisbee off the ground and followed Red Hood to save Jason. Red Hood didn’t argue, the more chance he had of saving Buttercup the better.

‘ Come on! Go faster!’ He screamed to himself, ‘ You just got Marinette, you can’t afford to lose her!’

Marinette raised her yo-yo and lifted Red Hood in her arms, swinging it to get to the Flats.

Though Red Hood wasn’t used to being carried he relaxed a little when he saw that the mystery girl was headed in the right direction and was going much faster than it would’ve been on foot.

Glass shattered as Marinette swung her yo-yo into the lobby of the flats.

“Red Hood, your bomb is behind the desk in the lobby.” Nightwing said over the comms. Jason jumped over the desk to see a large bomb at 16 minutes.

“Shit! Red Hood to Nightwing!” Jason called pressing his comm. Marinette rushed over to join him at the desk, she knew she had only two minutes left before she transformed back, “Which wire do we cut?!” Marinette gasped when she saw the bomb, a massive array of wires in a variety of colors.

“Damn it!” Jason said when he couldn’t get an answer, “Mystery girl! Can’t you get one of those magic charms!” Marinette shook her head, “It only works once and I have two minutes before I detransform!”

Jason facepalmed, ‘ of course’ . “Well we’re doo-“

“Nightwing to everyone! I disabled my bomb, cut the red wire!” Jason breathed a sigh of relief, “We’re cutting the red wire,” he told Marinette. Marinette nodded as he cut it.

Suddenly 19 minutes went to 1!

“SHIT!” Jason yelled, “Uh- We've got a problem!!!” He made a split decision and ripped out all the wires.

The time didn’t stop, in fact it went down to thirty seconds. Red Hood tackled Lady Pegasus, and shielded her from the explosion.

Which never came. Marinette breathed heavily as Red Hood was on her, his chest pressed to hers, she was rigid, hoping Jason, Roy, Kor’i and Dick would be ok.

‘ I bet you’re eating this up,’ Kaaliki giggled the back of her mind.

‘ KAALIKI!’

‘What? Just trying to lighten the mood.’

Jason got up, and Marinette realized thirty seconds had passed. Jason laughed and sighed in relief when he looked at the bomb. Marinette sat up to see the bomb had completely powered down.

“Update Nightwing, we got ours.” Jason said smashing the bomb into pieces.

“Good, Rendezvous back at you know where.”

Marinette breathed in, relieved. “Before I go little Lady, I have to know. Who are you?” Red Hood asked as he stood up and hopped over the desk.

“I’m a friend.” Was all Marinette could say as her earrings beeped. She tipped an invisible hat to him before saying, “Miraculous cure!” She escaped out the window and climbed up to her room with the help of her yo-yo in the chaos of the ladybugs cleaning up.

Marinette pushed her open window and fell into the bed as her transformation wore off, “What a battle, huh Tikki. Well all three of us should actually get to bed. What do you say?” The two kwamis smiled at their holder, “Sounds great Marinette.” Tikki said before lounging on her pillow.

“I don’t know, wouldn't you rather go sleep with that guy? The redhead who’s been flirting all night?” Kaaliki asked as they giggled at their own teasing.

“KAALIKI!” Marinette whisper-shouted burying her face in her pillow. “Priceless!” They laughed as they joined Tikki and fell into a slumber.

~•Friday, Nov. 29, 1am EST•~•

Marinette couldn’t sleep. She’d tried, but avoided tossing and turning as to not wake up her kwamis. She checked the clock on her bedside table and sighed when she realized how long it had been. Marinette slowly crept out of the bed and to the kitchen to get a glass of water.

Marinette didn’t wear anything revealing to sleep, she enjoyed being comfortable while sleeping so she mostly wore long flannel pajamas in the fall and winter. That was what she was wearing today, but when she got into the kitchen she realized there was such a thing as too comfortable.

Roy was opening a water bottle as he turned around to Marinette. “Ah Pigtails.” He greeted, “Why are you up so late?” But Marinette could barely answer, he didn’t have a shirt on.

And he was just as ripped as she imagined, not that she had! She totally didn’t! Thank god he was wearing long jeans, she did not want to be thinking about him like that.

“Couldn’t sleep.” She responded as she too went to the fridge for water, looking at his face and not daring to look any further down.

“Hmm. Bad dream?” Roy asked as he took a swig of water. “Not really, I just couldn’t turn off my brain.” Roy chuckled, “Yeah, I have days like that. Try counting backwards from 100, that always puts me out quickly.” Marinette nodded, “Thanks Roy.”

“Hey no problem Pigtails. And you know, if you need me I’m right down the hall.” He said charmingly, but not in a flirty way like Marinette expected, just in a caring way. Roy left her standing in the kitchen as he went back to Jason’s room. Marinette followed suit, going to her own room.

She put the water on the bedside table and laid down again.

‘ 100, 99, 98…’

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