#i can maybe try but if i can it wont be much </3
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Grinding crystals for cyber Toya at the end of the month.... I had 20k exactly a week ago so I think im doing ok? I wish I had more tho :(
#cat.txt#i can get some from the next 2 events so ill definitely have at least 33k....#i just cant rlly get any more from songs bc ive fcd everything on hard and i have s rank for all songs too#and im not good enough to fc anything else on expert or master </3#i can maybe try but if i can it wont be much </3#pjsk posting
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Friendship is the most special thing in the world because no award could be give me bigger happiness than jumping around in my room and smiling because my pookie asked me if I wanted to match pfps
#SHES AMAZING I LOVE HER AHHHHH#I hope we manage to find a cute bsd pfp it would be literally my dream#little vent tw!!#it's been so long since I matched pfps last time was with my ex who started being wayyyyy too weird..#and the other time was with a friend who started ghosting me some months later just because I didnt give her enough adopt me pets or smth 💔#and like. her stopping talking to be literally broke me as a person. it was devastanting for like 13yo me#woahhh thank you k. now I have social anxiety and keep dobting whether people really want me there or not#I still have a sort of love hate relationship w her but like its been over 2 years maybe 3 why do I still care abt it sm :<#especially since our other bestie is wayy more affectionate w k than w me it just makes me feel so weird like im sort of a 3rd wheel#but at least the friend im gonna match with is the sweetest person ever and we can be silly together :333#unfortunately we only know eachother from a course so we always have to wait 2 weeks to see eachother#and even tho i still see k almost every day shes pretty different now#but ive been feeling so so happy the last few days since school started and im afraid I might go back to being how I was when she returns#because. I bet my two friends will keep being silly together and ill have to sit w my ex again cuz hes still part of our friend group#I mean hes a nice and funny guy but I figured that a relationship wont work with us. I tried it and I just wanna be friends#I have a lot of fun w him but like in a platonic way#and im afraid he still thinks we should be together#meanwhile my besties keep flirting w eachother like??#I mean its pretty funny as a joke but I cant help but feeling kinda jealous especially because I used to have a huge crush in one of them#talked a bit too much ooopssss#Im just trying to move on but I hope k coming back doesnt start everything over again#anyways!! I love my bestie from the course smmmmmm Im still so so happy :D wish we could see eachother more#random stuff#chaos#friendship#violet rambles
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watching a lot of cooking videos lately (great for background noise while working) and just saw one where a cat hops on the KITCHEN COUNTER while the lady is cooking 🤢 that is disgusting do ppl rly let their animals up there!! that kitty has stepped in its litter box maam!!! or it could shed on that counter!!! and you're prepping food up there rn!! ew!!!
#HOW HARD IS IT TO TRAIN A CAT NOT TO GET UP THERE.#thats a rhetorical question its easy!!! bc my cat NEVER gets on counters she knows better!!#she will sit with my dog politely on the floor when im cooking!! and wait like a good girl#they know if its something they can eat that i will give them a tiny bite#and if not they can still just chill in the room with me but like. idk#maybe my cat doesnt try it bc she sees my dog not doing it and learns from him? she also wont get on furniture she doesnt see him getting o#the exception is the toilet she LOVES sitting on the toilet (closed lid ofc) but thas just her being a weirdo#she also gets obsessed with shoes but if thats the worst thing she does then id say shes p well behaved jdjkfkj#she doesnt even hurt the shoes or chew on them she will grab them nd roll like a crocodile and then rub her face on them#esp sandals or crocs but ive seen her go after sneakers too. so cute#watching that video and seeing how much that grossed me out made me appreciate my girl x10 more. im going to buy her a new toy next time#i go out somewhere#which actually im tking my dog to the vet friday so. can pick them both up some treats <3#(nothing is wrong w him its his usual grooming + arthritis shot but the vet is across from a pet store so <3 toys n treats for my lil guys)#sanchoyorambles
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the bittersweet but absolute flood of relief that comes from admitting defeat at living independently, to have to move back in with parents. we tried! we gave it our best shot for almost 3 years! but living like this (being on our own) is just not possible for us at this time of our lives. we've finally proved it to ourselves that we can't do it. it'll be okay to let ourselves rest now
#latimers parents not mine!!!! i am NOT moving back to florida LOL#really hope that the changes will be good for my mental health. this apartment is toxic to us#ive been on the verge of meltdowns Kind Of A Lot lately. imnot doing great#extremely dependent on substances. just to reach a baseline level of functioning. but even that isnt working as much anymore#the only things i do on my phone or tablet these days is like. 2 mobile games. and skirting past my dms to check latimers blog#its too overwhelming to even open discord these days yknow. everything on earth is too much for me right meow#i havent been drawing i havent been social online OR irl i havent been cooking or creating#i havent been keeping up with personal hygiene like at all im particularly ashamed about that one#i've been really bad about doing my T the past few months which is a HUGE shame because im SO fucking hyped to be on it#theres just. too many obstacles in getting it done half the time. and the other half of the time i just forget#anyway. anyway.#our lease ends in july so between now and then we're just gonna try our best to tolerate our living situation enough to get by#there's a light at the end of the tunnel. and its called 'i only have to be in charge of like 2 rooms at most. and not a household!'#we're gonna try to slowly comb through all our things between now and then so the process of moving wont suck as bad#cuz listen. its pretty fucking bad right now#maybe not for other people. but it is for me. and its okay to let myself come to terms with that#im just. so relieved. still very stressed! but theres at least light at the end of the tunnel and its only like 2 months away#ill be able to draw guilt-free again. ill be able to just EXIST guilt-free#i dont think ive felt guilt-free for just existing the way i do since like. turning 20#i know my mom wouldve loved if i stayed home forever. and im sad i cant be there for her#but ever since i had a fight with my dad at 15 or 16 it just really felt like he didnt want me there more and more#maybe as the youngest he was resenting that i was preventing him from becoming an empty nester or something. i dont know#because all the other kids had been moved out and on their own at least once but i had never left home before#i dont know if he'd be heartbroken or not to hear that i feeling like he was resenting me. but thats the energy i was picking up for years#i dunno. i dont know#anyway. back to housing. for now im going to try to relax and store energy for the moving process#the huge pile of things by the kitchen? i dont have to worry about that becoming permanent because we're leaving in 2 months#the general discord of the state of our possessions? we have to go through everything to pack it all anyway. we can move in RIGHT this time#when we moved in here we didnt have a car or license so we were dependent on latimers 3-hr-drive-away parents to help us move#just /across town/. and we had a whole month between leases! but it still had to be done in a weekend
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im going to throw up over how much i have to study
#i have to review 4 years of all 4 science. and the test is in 3 days. someone said they passed with only stock knowledge but i cant do that#and i dont remember anything at all for chemistry and that part is 30% of the exam#i havent even started on reviewing this whole year of math which maybe i should prioritize because i have to memorize annuity formulas#i wont even study for the mock exams but omg theres so much to study#ive been trying to fix my sleep schedule because my body has been failing me and its probably because i might be anemic too#but i dont think i can afford to sleep early this week#my limbs are so weak and my head feels weird but i have so much to study im going to skfhkjlsdfkjsd#okay thats all im logging out again goodbye
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guys what if i told you ive been thinking about dess and actually i think dess/chara might be able to work out in the drkau...like ive been doing some thinking into dess and her reasons and why she does what she does and how she cares about people and im starting to nail down the role i want asriel to play, and. and.
guys i think dess is actually going to be able to change. i think dess figures out how to change but asriel never does....
#chatter#its about like. okay azzy's big thing is normality right.#ive decided hes our monster representative for the prophecy#(which i could make a whole post on but these tags are not the place)#which means dess ISNT which means dess isnt stuck by that#which means like. god this needs so much context i dont have time to give but.#in order for asriel to change he has to come to terms w the fact that a lot of things are his fault#like if he had reacted differently dess maybe stays#or at least doesnt take kris with her#and DESS comes to terms w this. dess is aware that she sorta fucked kris's life#and no shes not their mom but she does love them and care for them#and eventually would start to realize like. i have to be there for them#it wont be perfect but i can TRY even if trying is really really scary#and its this idea of like. what dess-chara-kris-frisk have#is family that could NEVER fit into what society sees as 'normal'#but they have each other. and they want to try. so they make something good#vs asriel chasing normality and pushing everyone away and at the end of it all like#that cant make you happy. all it does is make you Alone. and i dont know if he like#changes. cause hes so deep in he cant admit he was wrong cause then what was any of this for?#anyways let me remind you that noelle is our main character--#(though tbf since azzy is her brother and has a huge impact on her life its fair he gets a focus too)#I LOVE MY OWN AU <3#drkau
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i actually dont know if im over exaggerating on how good death vote smp is, i just want more people to watch it lol
#i personally really like it#but i also feel like i usually over exaggerate on my interest lmao#the editing on the episodes are bangers imo and the rp and lore there makes me kick my legs in the air :3#and i also want more fan content for it teehee#and even if a lot of those people havent/wont post their povs#i still feel like you can care and adore their characters just as much as you would with the people who have#my personal favorite is sloimay if you couldnt tell :P#mostly bcs im fascinated by his action#and im curious as to how much of his actions are based on the people around him or the goddess who blessed him#or maybe hes just a bloodthirsty person idk lmao#anyways go give death vote a try#my personal favorite povs are debunkys sprytes deytras elixers n ludos#though ludos pov moreso centers around much more gameplay compared to the others#and looks more like the usual life series videos /vpos#death vote smp
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Nezuko centric au where Tanjiro's killed during the Mugen Train mission- Giyuu becomes her caretaker and trains her Inosuke & Zenitsu instead of letting them fumble along
#this is one of my older aus but i never did anything w it lmao#enmu wasnt killed as early as he was so when akaza showed up he didnt have enough time to kill kyojuro#tanjiro probably dies trying to kill enmu. nezuko focuses on him and didnt pay attention to the upper moon showing up. just#reliving the moment she lost almost everything- now its really all gone. nothing left but shut off memories of the good and the tainted#memories of the *worst*#giyus fucked up losing yet another person he cares about and finally stops being passive-#it hurts all the same. so why not go in head first?#he trains nezuko how to use breath of water (that she adapts with her demon blood art & afterlife tanjiro/tanjuro/yoriichi guide her)#he also trains zenitsu & inosuke since they wont leave her or tanjiro's memory behind#canon events slow down at this point because kagaya's on guard about tanjiro's loss and they arent down a pillar#kyojuro also vouches for nezuko bc he saw her first hand defending people before she got... sidetracked...#maybe something about losing tanjiro finally makes the cage around her mind snap to reality and she regains her senses a bit faster#i imagine she'd have moments where she sleeps for long periods of time & sometimes is super spacy and unaware/childlike#she doesnt go on normal slayer missions all the time like she did with tanjiro though#so she has a lot more time to physically & mentally fortify#im roping genya into this somehow hes babey and im NOT leaving him out.#inosuke drags him kicking and screaming because hes also got demon-like abilities and thats good to know about right??#giyuu keeps him because 1 more the merrier 2 he can hone his demonic abilities safely w nezkuo 3 it pisses sanemi off#genyas still mostly with gyomei because hes got the physical strength and alternate weapon style which is always good but giyuu actually#keeps in touch about genya- well. tries to as much as he can with kanzaburo mixing up his letters.#maybe matsuemon takes over as nezuko's crow instead & kinda steps in for stuff relating to nezuko- ie news abt demon boy#loserboy giyuu posting#kamado nezuko#kny au#nezukos revenge au#i mention it now bc i wanna draw the little scene i have of her and giyuu chilling in their grief
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take a look at my uggo muggo
#literally just a test#bc you would not believe#hold on#pixel art#on my gosh my melody pixel art dot deleted out of no where!! i put so much time into that :(#but now i have the full verison of aseprite so i wont lose any more doodles!!#maybe i'll try to redo it one day...#but take this mug! made with love#it doesn't have to be perfect. it never will. but i can at least try my best<3#also making a pixel art tag soon! i guess it'll be tagged as pixels.nae#but i'll see. i'll have to add it to every post i've made so#yay.#pixels.nae
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im feeling so antsy i have like nothing that i specifically Have to do like yes i have to work on a fursuit but im missing something for it so i would have to wait either way so its ok to slow down on it (i at least sewed some parts today) and i got enough money for rent and all so i dont need to rush it so idk if its that but i also have a dentist appointment next week which might be the cause of me being so nervous because i Hate it there and i hate how its now gonna ruin my weekend cause im just gonna be thinking about it
#and thats just one thing i will have to come back for the actual stuff like im now only expecting a checkup maybe an xray#then i will have to get more dates and it will make me more nervous#i havent slept much the past 2 days not counting the nap i took today which was just fever dreams anyway#all i wanna do is eat but i was sick and everything i eat is making me feel weird again its a battle#also my gums are hurting which is. timing. but also im nervous about being told by the dentist about how shit my teeth are#i can only hope shes better now... and that the assistant wont lowkey make fun of me again#aand that i wont be too awkward with my misunderstandings#cant play the im a dumb minor card cause im twentyfiveteen#j. but you know. im extremely akward last time i was there she was asking me something and i just went huh? 4 times#never went to oovoo javer situation. i just had no idea what shes asking me#thoughts are being thunk#im not even gonna try to go to bed early today im just gonna stay up until i feel less nauseous cause i just kept waking up#but then my dogs will wake me up at 6am again so yay 3 hours of sleep
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Cons of updating the wiki: I have to actually figure out what the fuck is up with "a seed is planted"
#rat rambles#oni posting#I have Still not found out how to get it back#idk what I did to make it show up the first like 3 times and I have even less of an idea now#Ive tried everything I could think of and the only idea I have left is to crack open debug mode again#I remember my first theory was that it had smth to do with debug mode since thats when I first saw it but I remember trying that again#later and it not working so I dont fucking know man#Im launching a new debug world as we speak and Im betting I wont uncover the mystery because nails hates me and so does klei#I just want to know what section of the wiki I should put it in man is that so much to ask#like I remember it being a research note but god if I know at this point#especially after looking in the code and seeing it alongside the story trait stuff this fucking log has ruined my life#alrighty the world is loading cmon#aaaand its not there Im going to fucking lose it#I Know it was in game and I Know its still in the files I checked very recently#I saw it I know its there I know it exists but it keeps fucking escaping me idk what to do man#Ive tried asking ppl on several platforms and at this point I might just delete the game /j#idk Ill fuck around a lil bit more but then I need to shower and go to bed#idk maybe Ill look into some oni discord servers tomorrow and see if I can get any help there
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oh wow just saw flatmate messaged saying another friend passed smth on like oh okay. I didn't realise he went too u didn't say. in fact none of u said anything to me so that's great
#he lives hours away thats a lot of travel just for drinks#when she asked me she said it was her + one other person. going out for drinks in evening.#but clearly she took the day off work bc ghosts dont do laundry. so it was a whole day trip. so why tell me it was just drinks#unless she just wanted a good excuse for me not to come. okay 👍#i cant even make myself mad abt it like fair enough man. i get it.#and if last weekend is anything to go off she probably wont ask me at all in the future#well as long as they have fun it doesnt matter i guess. im tired of feeling like im just intruding in everyones lives#and everyone fucking lying like what u say doesnt line up with how u act i can tell its not real im not that fucking stupid#ive dealt with this so many times before average autistic experience im tired of naively believing ppl and then the rug being pulled#sorry for being the way i am and for wanting things and for trying to take up space i give up its not worth it anyway#at least this is giving me smth to feel shit abt instead of just formless malaise. makes it easier to deal with that way#anyway. just need to get my shit enough together to leave the house by 3 so i can pick up this stuff for work#and i can do most of my other chores tmr so thats fine#i hate how much fucking time i waste feeling awful. no wonder other ppl have time to watch n read n create n whatever so much more than me#half of my fucking life is spent in my head trying and failing to emotionally regulate im so so sick of it#i wish i never had to think a single thought again and maybe id be happy#jesus fucking christ. well i need to leave my room soon bc i need to pee im not depressed enough to piss in a bucket just yet#hope i never get to that stage again amen uni was pretty fucking dire#.vent#hate weekends so fucking much what a waste of free time
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i think its kinda funny that ibis paint is regarded as the Broke Artist App or whatever (as opposed to more mainstream programs like csp or procreate) because its free and because of how popular it is with phone + finger artists while im jusg sitting here having used ibis for a cool eight years on purpose.
like i have an ipad and an apple pencil and all theyre very nice and i absolutely could move to a more powerful program i have the resources to do so but my change averse brain has decided they like it here a lot and im not leaving
#not talking smack on phone and finger artists btw. some of my mutuals use their fingers and their art goes crazy i respect that so much#even when i did use my phone (most of 14 crush was done on a phone!) i still had to use a cheap rubber stylus hahaha#anyway maybe ill try procreate someday but also i hate learning new programs and i like ibis's brushes too much#fingers crossed that they add fully custom brushes someday though#like id love to be one of those artists that makes really cool art with ridiculous shapes and nobody even knows until they tell you#younger artists might not know this but modern ibis is STACKED compared to how it was in 2015#like i remember when clipping layers were first implemented. and they sucked. like they didnt fully go over the lower layer#so it just left a gross tiny outline around the shape#and there wasnt any border or text tools either#and there was a hard cap on layer count depending on your device's storage and the canvas size#modifying brushes wasnt even a thing HAHAHAHAH you just used what you had#anyway okiku reference window unrelated shes just there for something else im working on<3#bri talks#for the record all this is to say i think the smack talk towards ibis is pretty unwarranted#like yeah maybe its not as powerful as a lot of these fancy paid apps but i honestly think its insanely good for being a free program#i think getting rid of the ads costs more now than it did when i paid to get rid of them but i mean#free with ads is still a lot more than csp's ever gonna give you!!!!#(psst. secret from me to you! you wont get any ads if you disable the app's data usage and turn off wifi when you use it)#(alternatively just use airplane mode but you can still get texts and stuff the first way)
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i solemnly swear not to write a fic with a similar premise as one ive done in the past but also i like it when people slow dance.....
#snap chats#im thinking of those geezers again.... forgive me father.....#im making my fanfic in the tags fuck it. no one read these im being cringe but i need to be free#anwyay.... i want yokoyama to show me the tally chart for how many nights arakawa and jo stay late at the office alone#just_the_two_of_us.mp3 right and i hope arakawa has a lil radio playing music#maybe some songs they'd play in the background of his stageplays... maybe even a lil miyamo haruki...#we call that a callback heh.... cause i ref'd her b4..... moving on....#i hope arakawa gets that Boss Sense and knows jo's done with his work for the night and invites him in his office#and i hope when he walks in a new song starts and then arakawa gets A Look right#just a small aside a small laugh like Oh Akane Never Liked This One but then goes on how she was still happy to dance with him to it..#and jo just. 🧍♂️ . like how does he respond to that. just smile and nod boys smile and nod. except jo doesnt smile he just nods#AND OF COURSE THE LEGALLY REQUIRED QUESTION 'do you dance jo' and no ! he does not. never has most likely never will#until that night anyway <3 one 'it's easy' later and they're just squished in that space between arakawa's desk and the couches#and it just nice bro... maybe arakawa talks a bit bout the song/s that are playin and the genre as a whole#jo wont say much.. he's very much a listener and thats ok hes always happy to lend an ear to arakawa#yk.. just regular things to do with your co workers haha...#i hope jo opens up about his music preferences... of which i dont know what they'd be sincerely#the comedy bit of my brain only imagines metal/rock but i truly wouldnt know...#if he likes art then he might like the same kind of music arakawa enjoys.. my fave bit they can be art enjoyers together....#lmao bye arakawa thinkin to himself What A Nice Moment and jo's just trying his best not to literally step on his toes#or just fuck up in some way like my man RELAX this is supposed to be RELAXING#would arakawa notice how tense he is omg. making myself insane the more i type I WILL NOT OPEN A GOOGLE DOC I REFUSE#the visions will just have to torment me... i must make more arasawa asap...#i have another dorky vision in mind that's a sequel to that comic i shat out a couple nights ago... its short but its cute i think..#maybe tomorrow as a warm up or after i do a lil of comm stuff... for now gn.... i love old people....
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pkmn soulsilver babbles c:
i have reached the tag limit writing my thoughts help. im not even done but ig ill just leave it at that AHAHSHSHSH
#since i collected all johto/kanto badges my next goal is to start grinding extra harder for red +#my decision to try to catch as much legendaries#so the first thing i did was make sure that poliwhirl and misdreavus actually evolved - so i went around to find the stones#along the way i happen to find a dawn stone - i frowned thinking like. man if only i could use this on kirlia > gallade#i went to goldenrod to buy some tms and as i left the city i accidentally walked on grass (speeding up the emulator lmao) and FOUND RALTS#i was so shocked because AYO RALTS? IN JOHTO MF#it was male even so i was so excited to grab it - i did and then later i was like “would be cool if i could get a gardevoir too”#“maybe i can breed the ralts with a ditto'#“but I don't have a ditto :[”#AND THEN I WALKED ON THE GRASS AGAIN TO FIND A DITTO RIGHT AFTER THAT AKSKSJSJSJSJDJSSK#i caught it IMMEDIATELY#i was like. wow this is too good to be true. i kept walking on grass again and then i found a female ralts.#now the ditto wont be necessary anymore but i was happy to get one#my next concern was like - 'aw man they're hella underleveled tho - oh yeah! daycare. where's that dayca-#LITERALLY JUST 3 STEPS AWAY FROM ME. THE DAYCARE. BECAUSE DUH. IM IN GOLDENROD CITY THEY'RE NEXT TO EACH OTHER FLDJFKFLFKDKDK#I WAS JUST MADLY GIGGLIGN TO MYSELF LIKE GIRL DAMN EVERYTHING CAME RIGHT TO ME RGRGDHDH#so yeah my other side quest is to get both gallade and gardevoir. probably super obvious but yes they're my fav lines aksjsjsj#there's also another bit i discovered where once i collected all 16 badges - i have to visit the sound designer in celadon's apartments#he gave me a Gameboy device that plays the entire game out but in the Gameboy ver aka the og games and#idk i just... really appreciate that bit? you can tell so much love was poured into this#i enabled the device for a bit too simulate how it would sound like if i played the gb versions. it's so cool#immediately jumped to pallet town and new bark town's ver - it's so sweet sounding#i really appreciate that small bit! as someone who didn't play the og games this one is just a nice way of giving me a tasteof it#anyway - right now im trying to level the team the best i can + evolved with stones and im also trying to look for the other gym leaders#to get their phone number to rebattle (and level up again)#.... i was flustered to get morty's number first...#at the bellchime tower of all places???!?!?!! damn. damn. in the pretty autumn trees smh morty are you setting me up.. slash ro-#EITHER WAY I GOT A LIIITLE EXCITED OVER THAT SMDNDBDBBDLFLF anduhhhmayhapsfunneideasgrgfgf#hi sarahdontlook at meee HEVDVSVEBSBSBD#i forgot morty pops up there and. WHEW. kinda thankful i forgot my first gameplay its like I'm playing it again weheeh
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finished lanks' route!! I would kill and die for liam one thousand times
#hes so. spins around#hes so silly but soooo full of horrors hes like the universes punching bag#his route was. so quick holy shit#like i could just PLOW through ALL the enemies in a couple turns. the boss fight with hart was a joke#emotional overload is mad op during fights w multiple foes#and triple fireball is like. INSANELY op in 1v1 fights#lanks is NOT FUCKING AROUND!!!!!!!#also i got locked onto beltboys route just now. yay <3 < i will cry and scream and suffer so so much#beltboys route is gonna be sooooo emotional and i will explode by the end. and then come back to do rod's route#i feel confident enough to do pain mode methinks. the savepoint thing is gonna be the worst i think handling combat wont be that hard#but im an avid saver i save my progress always constantly and forever#so getting to use savepoints once is gonna be. um. UM. UH. UM. yeah#but im sooooooo curious abt how rods route is gonna look. also i just wanna see more of rodriguez!!!!#he seems like such a fun character ok#also i can recruit yogurt so. yay <3 yogurt my best friend yogurt#im gonna try recruiting reginald as well which you can apparently do in the normal routes which i did NOT know#maybe someday ill replay the game from the beginning [and actually get to explore area 3] and try recruiting him then !#yay. lets go babey
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