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#i can take myself apart piece by piece and he kisses every part of me and loves me despite it
starlightazriel · 9 hours
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bee 11
desc: modern bestfriends > lovers (femreader) (tattoo artist az)
warnings: 18+, drug/alcohol addiction/recovery, reader overthinking/insecure/depressed, jealousy, archeron sisters have entered the chat, angst, fluff, co-dependence(and all the trauma that comes with it),
wc: 4.2k
a/n: wow i'm so sorry this took so long as some of you know i been going through some things anyyyway we've come so far since the beginning myyy goodness, as much as I love sober az I already miss the az who was doing a line before a tattoo, but alas after all the drama last time I hope this makes up for it <3 kisses xoxox
other parts on my az masterlist
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eleven
Sixty days.
Sixty days of loneliness.
Sixty days of an empty house.
Sixty days of overthinking.
Sixty days of gut wrenching anxiety.
Sixty days of no contact.
Sixty days of not hearing his voice.
It had been my idea, the whole no contact, and now, it felt like it had been the worst fucking idea in the world. Facing him now seemed impossible. Would he look different? Would he be different?
Fucking idiot. Do you know how much can change in sixty days? Sober Ariel won't even want you.
It had been maybe a week in when the seed of doubt had blossomed in my gut. The regret for the dumb idea that space was the best thing for our relationships, time to figure ourselves out so we could add to each others lives— instead of depending on each other. Him, needing me, me needing to be needed.
It was such a fine line between give and take and I had offered every last piece of myself to him without a hesitation. With him gone, with him healing, getting better... What would he need me for? What was I supposed to do with myself? School was hardly distracting, and finals coming up should have helped but only made it worse.
Rhys and Cass had visited him, a few times, they had also gone on another Vegas trip, without him obviously, apartment hunting. That did nothing to soothe my gut either, that was real. It was happening in mere months they were moving to Vegas. Neither did the way they all stopped talking about him when I was around, did he tell them something? Did he tell them he was going to break it off with me for good when he got home? Or did my friends really think I was that fragile? That I couldn't even handle hearing about him?
'I would let Rhys sue me for breaking contract before I would leave this city without you.' his previous words echoed in my mind, I had been so sure he meant it when he'd said that to me, so sure that I would never be alone again.
And of course I wanted him to get clean, but somehow, everything felt different now. I wasn't so sure of anything anymore. Would he still feel the same way?
I hadn't even looked into transferring schools. He had told me to, before he left... But doing that made everything more real, and what if he changed his mind when he saw me again?
He wouldn't be in a drug clouded haze anymore. He wouldn't need me anymore, not the way that I needed him.
And I wouldn't even get any alone time with him, not immediately. Rhys was throwing a little get together for him, he was so proud, they were all so proud of him.
I hated that I wasnt as proud as everyone else when I should be the most proud, I hated that I was afraid of the new Azriel. There would be nothing for me to fix anymore.
With every waking moment that passed my anxiety and insecurity grew. Getting ready for his 'sober party' seemed surreal to me, it only created more doubts in my mind. I mean, had Azriel, my Az, really agreed to that? Even as a sober version of himself— it seemed doubtful.
-
Sixty days.
Sixty days of detoxing his mind, body, and soul.
Sixty days of boring meals.
Sixty days of therapy multiple times a week.
Sixty days of sharing his darkest side with complete strangers.
Sixty days of uncomfortable beds and scratchy sheets.
Sixty days of living in sweat pants because it was all he had packed.
Sixty days of heart stopping guilt and revelations about himself and his behavior.
Sixty days of torturous inescapable demons that seemed to be at war in his mind.
Sixty days of not hearing her voice.
The moment she had told him she didn't want to talk to him while he was in rehab, he had wanted to stay. Give up the idea entirely and quit on his own accord. He didn't though, he went. And it wasn't only for her. No, it was for him too. And he thought maybe it was valid, maybe they did need space, time away to clear their minds and have a true fresh start. He could do things right this time.
And now, with his head clear, he was happy he had gone. He felt stronger, in his mind and body. It had been a lot, a lot of facing things that had happened in his childhood that he had never dared to face before. Things he didnt have to face when drugs and alcohol had been his safety net for so many years. He realized he didnt need substances to deal with those things, his traumas didnt make him weak or vulnerable, they made him stronger.
He did recognize his problem, and he couldn't say for sure that he would never touch the bottle or snort a line ever again because that was just unrealistic. He was only human and he would do his absolute best to be a good man, for himself.
For Bee too. If she still wanted anything to do with him, the silence between them was the loudest one he'd ever felt, even miles away.
Bee.
His lover. His everything.
There was nothing that could get in the way anymore, he hadn't realized until now how much his addictions had been separating him from her. And of course he had gotten off it before but never without alcohol to help him along. He had never been so fucking deep into his addictions, had never gone that crazy. What he had done was completely unacceptable and now he could only hope for the best when he saw her. A party thrown by Rhys and his girlfriend hadn't been his ideal meeting place... But it had been completely sprung on him. Him being in rehab wasnt a secret, but that didn't mean he wanted to advertise it. Rhys had promised it was a very small get together, just something to show their support. 'No pictures.' Azriel had been sure to clear that up with him. The party was supposed to be a surprise, luckily for Az, Rhys knew him better than that.
-
Rhys and his new girlfriend had out done themselves along with the help of Mor who had told me this morning when she arrived in town that she wouldn't have missed this for the world. 'I mean, Azriel sober? I have to see it for myself and support,' she had said over coffees earlier, I had gotten quiet, I knew I could have talked to her about how I was feeling. But it felt wrong, it was embarrassing to say the least. I didnt think she would understand, either.
Rhys' place was decked out, balloons everywhere, charcuterie and little desserts lined both of the large tables, there was a mocktail station and a coffee station where she had also decorated Rhys' coffee pot, another table had a 'fill your own cone' bud bar that included a big jar full of Azriels favorite cigarettes as well. Her theme was 'Sober & Slaying' and there were banners and balloons to match. My heart had swelled the moment I had entered the apartment and part of me felt a little guilty for not getting here earlier. I hadn't been doing much of anything though, I wasn't eating right, I wasn't sleeping right, my thoughts and fears and insecurities had been practically eating me alive. They hadn't even asked me to help with set up, simply to show up on time, I at least had arrived twenty minutes early.
"Oh good! You're here, will you help me with this last mocktail?" Feyre beams after she had pulled me into a quick hug. She was very sweet although a bit reserved at first she had warmed up to me quickly. She was setting up some last minute decorations, I was early, of course, my anxious gut hadn't allowed me to sit at home a moment longer.
Part of me was hoping this new relationship would entice Rhys to stay a little bit longer, but they were already talking about going long distance until Feyre was ready to take the leap and move to Vegas. Seemed awfully soon to even be talking about it to me, but I wasn't one to judge, they did seem madly in love nearly instantly, and Rhys was, different. Nicer even.
"Yeah of course," I flashed her a grin and tasted the mocktail she was working on before I added some more of the homemade blueberry simple syrup she had made. "So good," I hummed in approval once I had tasted it again.
"So like, will this be the first time you and Az speak?" Mor tries to make it sound as casual as possible, my eyes focus intently as I transferred the mocktail to the aesthetically pleasing drink dispensers Feyre had put out.
"Um yeah, I haven't seen him or spoke to him since the night before he left," I shrugged, my eyes not lifting once. It had been quite the emotional night, it felt like a lifetime ago.
"I visited him once, he looks really good," she responded and I couldn't stop the jealous pang that hit my gut. Space. We had decided space was the right thing for us, a reset to our relationship after everything we had been through. My dumb idea, but he had agreed. I only smiled in response, and was glad when Cassian arrived with a cake in hand, his loud greeting drew all the attention away from me. Bless him. I found a corner to sit in, a quiet corner with my phone and one of the mocktails Feyre had made. A few more arrived, Feyres sisters, which I had only met a handful of times. Why were they here? Az didn't know them, did he? The only way that was possible would be if Rhys had brought them for one of his visits— the mocktail felt sour in my stomach and I felt more than relieved when Kat finally arrived and joined me in my corner.
"Hi love, how you holding up?" Kat had been very supportive through this entire rehab thing, and was making my loneliness nearly bearable.
"I'm fine, really, just coping with all of— all of the emotions of all the sudden change I guess," I shrug easily, Kat was the only one I had really felt comfortable to tell my true feelings to. She was the only one I knew that wouldn't judge. She nodded in understanding, making herself comfortable in her seat.
"That's valid, it's a lot to take in girl," She begins and I'm relieved when she can't continue because Cassian is all but shouting a second later.
"He's coming up he texted me a few minutes ago," Cassians voice drowns out the chatter around the room and I feel my insides go to liquid, my throat feeling tight and constricted.
My heart stopped when I finally laid my eyes on him. Impossibly sexier. His face was more full, color in his cheeks, a sparkle in his eye I hadn't seen since we were kids, he stood straighter, making him look impossibly taller, shoulders spread, oozing with a confidence I hadn't seen in a long time. My gut twisted, my heart picking up, a steady hammer against my chest. I held my breath when our eyes met, his face fell as he scanned me from across the room and I wanted nothing more than to drop into the hole in the floor. It wasn't exactly the reaction I'd been hoping for. I knew I looked awful— but shit, we hadn't seen each other in two months.
"Azriel, it's nice to see you again," Elain is the first person in front of him she's loud enough to hear across the room, her sing song voice carrying, and I try to ignore it but my eyes are glued to his, and he has to tear his away from mine.
"So what, Rhys took Feyre and her random sisters to see Az in rehab?" I drop my voice, forcing myself to look away, to tune out their conversation to the best of my abilities. Kat bit her lip, a notable guilty blush creeping across her cheeks.
"I um.. I was there too," she admits, twirling her hair around her finger, I squint slightly. She could have at least told me that. "It was a last minute thing," she explained quickly, my expression probably throwing her off. I was jealous, I couldn't deny that— I had no one to blame but myself. If I'd never been so set on having space away from eachother... My blood heated, she was gorgeous, just the type that Azriel would go for to. "They just happened to be there and we made a group trip of it— and yeah, I didn't think you'd want to know, considering..." she trailed off and I shrugged my shoulders.
"Yeah, I don't mind at all," I would have rather jumped off of the balcony than have this conversation, I shouldn't have asked. The FOMO was certainly real and I wondered if that's why they were constantly all whispers when talking about Azriel, to spare me of that feeling.
"Youre not imagining her googly eyes though," she scoffs as she glances back over at them and then to me mocking a gag, I smirked a little bit glancing back at them once more and then to Kat again. She was for sure laying it on thick with the sweet tone and all of the unnecessary blinks. I didnt remember that about the first few times I met her.
"I mean I can't even blame her— he looks..." I trailed off searching for the right word, he looked amazing, delicious, sexier than he'd ever had before. He was practically glowing with whatever newfound confidence he'd gained from facing his many demons.
"I know that's your man but he looks hot," she finishes for me and we giggle together, I ignored the heavy feeling in the pit of my stomach that maybe he wasnt my man anymore.
"That he does," I sigh, twirling my straw around in my cup, suddenly I regretted not sneaking a few nips into my purse. I wouldn't get drunk at a sober party, I wouldn't, but something to take the edge off would be nice, and a joint didn't seem like the right option.
I effectively avoided Azriel for at least an hour, I hadn't been keeping track of time but it felt like it had been at least that long. I wasnt ready for a conversation, not when one look at him made my heart stop.
My stomach was growling, and I needed a snack. I was carefully piling charcuterie onto my plate when I jumped and nearly dropped the whole thing.
"Youre avoiding me, and youre doing a good job for how small the space is," his voice is the same one I remember, low and gravelly and sexy.
"Im not," I insist, just hoping he hadn't noticed the way I visibly jumped at the sound of his voice.
"I think I know when my girlfriend is avoiding me," he left a heavy emphasis on the word, looking at me expectantly as if he was daring me to challenge his claim on our relationship status. Relief washed over me, a tension that I hadn't been able to ease since the last time I saw him.
"Its just— Its been a lot I don't know, and having this conversation here... Seems like a lot too," I took a step back from the table but turned around to face him, I could feel more than one pair of eyes watching us, it only made me more uncomfortable.
"Are you eating?" its a direct question, soft but firm, his eyes scanning over every inch of me. My stomach flips, my cheeks reddening.
"Yes," I lift the small plate of cheese, crackers, and fruit as if that proved anything.
"Hm," he doesn't seem satisfied with my answer, his eyes not leaving me for a second.
"You look good Az, you look different," I chewed the inside of my lip, hoping my anxiousness didnt bleed into my words.
"Im still me baby im just better," that same confident smirk spreads across his lips, I knew it well but somehow- there was a different spark behind it. Something all those drugs had dimmed. A light I hadn't seen in a while. "For example, Im not gonna nod off on the couch anymore because Ive had a handle to myself for two days straight and Im hours off a two week coke bender," he said it so casually and leave it to Azriel to make a joke out of it. "From now on," his voice drops as if he knew they were all listening, I felt Elain's curious eyes on us and I knew she was trying to catch every word. Sorry, hes mine. "I won't fall asleep without making sure you are fed, fucked, and tucked into bed."
I blush, looking away from his stare, something in my gut eases but the anxiety is still settled there.
"And Im sorry, for each and every time I failed you. Im clear headed now and—" he cuts himself off, and maybe it was the look on my face that stopped him. "Would you feel better if we went outside?" he nods to the balcony, I quickly nod, desperate to be alone with him and not on display like some soap that they were all watching.
"Please, its. little stuffy in here," my words are a little rushed, and they were true, I felt like I could barely breathe anymore. And I was making a complete idiot out of myself when Azriel hadn't seen me in two months. I feel his hand on my back and he guides me out onto Rhys balcony, I don't look back again, I lean up against the balcony, resting my elbow on the railing and sucking in a deep breath of fresh air before popping one of the pieces of cheese into my mouth.
Azriel joins me after he had shut the door behind us, leaning up against the balcony next to me and he lit up a joint he had gotten off of the bud bar.
"Did you tell your psychiatrist you were going to smoke?" I ask casually, trying to change the subject into something else. Anything else but our relationship, I shouldn't be worried, he had already said I was still his girlfriend.
"Yes," he shrugged, taking another drag from it, I could feel his eyes on me as I set my plate down on the nearby table. I had barely touched it.
"And what did they say?" I ask, quirking a brow as I take it from him, it was annoying that I was more at ease now, normal territory, I didnt like the way sober Az could see right through me, I had thought he was able to before, and now?
He shrugged again, watching me. "Why are you trying to avoid talking about us?" he reaches out, tucking my hair behind my ear so I can't hide from him, my breath catches. He took the joint back, taking one more long drag before putting it out. I shook my head, I couldn't find the right words. He grabs my wrist gently and turns me around so my back is against the railing, his body so close, the scent of his cologne slamming into my senses. "Why?" he repeats, his eyes meeting mine in the dim light, his voice is soft and careful.
"I— I don't know Az," I breathe out, my heart felt like it would pound out of my chest. "It's just I—" I look away, unable to meet his gaze when I feel the word vomit coming. "Im afraid, Azriel. I am. And I know it's fucked up because I shouldn't be. I feel sick, sick with myself that I have been more worried about whether or not you would still want me when you got back than I have about you and your actual recovery. Ive been worried about you being different and not needing me and I know Im so fucked up for that there's something wrong with me and Im sorry—"
"Hey, hey, stop, breathe for a second," he interrupts me, a small sigh leaving his lips as he places both of his hands on my cheeks, lifting my face to look at him and he gently wipes away my shameful tears with his rough thumbs, the feeling makes my spine tingle. "Don't feel bad for anything that you feel or have felt in these past weeks," he assures me, one of his thumbs still gently rubbing against my cheek, his eyes burning into mine. "I— I created that for you, that whole thinking you need to be needed by me. I created this... Trauma bond, I know that now, I know that I made our relationship toxic. It's not your fault, I hadn't dealt with any of my shit and I basically put it on to you. Im sorry, Im sorry you felt like that at all and I wish..." he sighed softly, one of his hands fell to my waist. "I wish I had the courage to call you, because I wanted to so many times, but I didnt think you'd want to talk to me. You needed space and I had to respect that but seeing you now, seeing you haven't been taking care of yourself like you should have. I should have been there for you," he sighed, clearly frustrated with himself. "I know where I fucked up, I know what kind of damage Ive done, this only proves it," he brushed his finger over the dark circle underneath my eye. "I love you, I love you so much, maybe too much sometimes," he sighs again, I fight the urge to close my eyes and lean into his touch.
"Az I love you too," I breathe out because Im stunned into silence. Everything hes said, his accountability, his words, they felt like they were crashing into me.
"Im not going to leave you like that ever again," he promised, and took a step closer, pressing his body into mine. He felt stronger, more solid. It was almost like he had left a boy and returned a man. "You are going to be my wife some day, you are the fucking definition of ride or die Bee, I swear, for the last two months the more clear my head got I just realized one thing over and fucking over," he wasnt afraid, he had absolutely no hesitations, every single word felt like a promise, and I felt like my heart was palpitating. "I hit the fucking jack pot with you, and I fear the smartest thing that Ive ever done in my life was share my favorite candy with the girl across the street."
My cheeks are burning, tears streaming, but they aren't sad, just emotional. I don't know what else to do, my words are caught in my throat so I kissed him. I pulled him down, my fingers tugging in the hairs at the nap of his neck, our tongues tangling perfectly like they always had. He was mine, still my Az, better, better like he had said. He was right. A soft groan escaped his lips, my stomach flipped at the sound, the thought of how he would have his way with me later after so many days apart. My body melted into his at the thought, our hungry kiss only escalating. Our desperate need for each other matching perfectly, our emotions pouring into the heated kiss. I tilted my head his lips traveling down my jaw and across my neck, settling behind my ear and gently sucking. I squeezed my eyes shut tighter, I moaned his name softly, my body feeling like a hot puddle.
"Hmm?" he hummed against my skin, his hand had slipped under my dress where he was rubbing soft circles on the least sensitive part of my thigh, somehow it was still driving me mad.
"We, we should go in now... They are going to be wondering whats taking us so long," I breathed out, I couldn't even see past Azriel into the house, I was sure they could see us though, or at least see Azriel pinning me against the railing.
"They should have known better than to throw me a party when I haven't seen my baby in sixty whole days, and they definitely should have known better than to let you wear this dress," he tugs lightly at the fabric. "They should have known Id need alone time with you," his eyes glimmered with mischief. "I have a lot of making up to do," he added, tracing his scarred finger over my jawline.
"I hated this idea more than you Im sure," I admitted guiltily, biting down on my lip. "But they worked really hard Az," I tried to peek around him to see inside again, he only shifted to block my view.
"Fine, but five more minutes," he smirked, tilting my chin up again.
"Five more minutes," I whispered breathlessly before he crashed his lips onto mine again, and I felt all of my anxiety melt away, as if he was pulling it from me.
And I felt safe.
Home.
Safe.
-
taglist <3:
@smalljasper289 @cynthiesjmxazrielslover @scorpioriesling @userxs-blog @lilah-asteria @abadfantasybook @judeduartewannbe @lindsayscottagebythesea @velarisdusk @serxndipity-ipity-blog @julesvanslutta @honk4emoboyz @bookishbishhh @dakotali @blessthepizzaman @scooobies @durgenyx @lorosette @kayjaywrites
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muttzteef · 2 years
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get urself a partner who helps u let ur guard down <3
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sainns · 3 months
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SIGNS OF AFFECTION.
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𝓢.ㅤ the portrayal of their love for you.
OT7ㅤ୨୧ ⠀ femreader⠀ . . .ㅤ fluff, riki's lowkey a third wheel in jake's part oops, he is also a d1 complainer in his part, not proofreadㅤ2224 words
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LEE HEESEUNG “baby, stay with me,” heeseung all but whines, pulling on your arm in an attempt to drag you back down to his bed. his voice is hoarse from not having spoken in a while; you had been laying together in silence, the both of you doing your own thing in each other’s space.
“hee, i have to go,” you try to free yourself from his grasp and you almost succeed but once he notices that he’s losing his grip, he tugs you towards him and wraps his arms around your waist, head resting against your stomach.
“just spend the night, i don’t think your roommate will care,”
“of course she isn’t going to care but i care. i have to go study,”
he looks up, his chin pressing against your stomach, lips forming a pout as he stares at you with a pleading expression. you can’t help but smile at him, bringing a hand up to fix his tousled hair.
you like when he gets clingy like this—he’s always clingy—it’s comforting knowing that he likes your presence as much as you do his. maybe even more, considering he’s always asking you to go over or if he can hang out at your apartment even if you don’t plan on doing anything. when you ask why or propose actually doing something he laughs you off, saying that simply sitting in the same room as you is enough for him. 
“study here,”
“i don’t have my stuff,”
“okay, study tomorrow then,” he sits up, removing his arms from around you. though, he keeps his hands on your waist, squeezing, “i wanna stay with you,”
you stare at him for a moment, acting as if you were debating on whether or not to give in. it was all for show, though; you’re going to give in to him every single time and he knows it. so a smug smile takes place on his lips, knowing that he’s won when you let out a sigh, shoving his shoulder lightly so that he could make room for you on his bed.
PARK JONGSEONG you search for jay’s warmth right when you wake up, eyebrows furrowing and lips turning downwards when you don’t find it. you open your eyes to see nothing, jay nowhere to be seen.
you lay in bed for a minute longer before deciding to get up and go look for him in your small apartment, but before you can even pull the covers away from your body, your boyfriend walks in. 
he looks like he’s been awake for a while—you can tell he took a shower by his still damp hair and he’s already dressed, wearing simple jeans and a t-shirt. he smiles at you, “hey, sleepyhead,”
“hi… you’re up early,”
“i was making you breakfast,” you feel the bed dip from his weight as he sits next to where you’re still laying, “and i cleaned the apartment a little,”
you reach over and grab his hand, placing a kiss against his knuckles, “thank you, but you didn’t have to. it’s my apartment, i can do it myself,” despite saying that, you know he’s going to ignore you, continuing on with taking care of you, your needs, and your apartment.
he hums, but doesn’t respond verbally, instead squeezing your hand in his. the two of you sit in a comfortable silence—you trying to fully wake up and him waiting for you—for what feels like forever until he finally breaks it.
“i like doing things for you, you know?”
“do you?”
“yeah, i do. you smile at his response, lifting your head to silently ask for a kiss. 
he obliges, mumbling against your lips, “you gonna get up and eat breakfast now?”
SIM JAEYUN “how do you deal with jake being on top of you constantly?”
you raise your eyebrows at riki’s question, watching as the teenager throws a piece of popcorn at your boyfriend from the other end of the couch. 
jake throws it back, “dude, i’m not on top of her,” except he is on top of you—his arms wrapped around your waist, head resting against your shoulder. 
“uh… yeah, you are,”
the boys’ argument fades into the background as you think about riki’s question. honestly, you never noticed that jake was, in fact, always ‘on top’ of you.
you don’t mind it, obviously—you enjoy it—but now that you’re thinking back on your relationship, jake really is very physically affectionate towards you. you don’t think you can recall a time where his arms weren’t wrapped around you, or his hand holding wasn’t holding yours, or he wasn’t standing so close to you that the both of you looked like you’re glued together.
“jake,” you interrupt their argument, laughing as you poke at him cheek, “maybe you should pull away before you try and defend yourself,”
he scoffs at you in faux annoyance, doing the exact opposite of what you told him to do—he pulls you closer to him, practically forcing you onto his lap. you’re sitting sideways, your head against his shoulder now.
“nope, you’re warm,”
“i don’t think it’s cold,”
“i’m cold, though,” shrugging, he places a kiss on top of your head, “also, ki, she’s on top of me, so you’re making zero sense,”
“i just watched you move her on top of you,” riki groans, throwing a pillow at the both of you, making you laugh when the two begin arguing again, the movie you had been watching long forgotten.
PARK SUNGHOON everyday you are beyond thankful for park sunghoon, whatever higher power there is must really like you to give you the opportunity of being his girlfriend.
the fact that he’ll wake up at 3:28AM just to go buy you some kind of snack or food is one of the things you love about the man, simply because you know almost nobody who would ever do that—unless their partner was pregnant—but he does. 
“i love you, by the way,” you smile, tapping your feet in excitement against the car floor, stopping when you feel sunghoon’s hand squeeze your thigh gently.
“because i’m going to go get you an ice cream?” he turns on the blinker, stopping before turning to the right, driving to a nearby convenience store where you’re planning on getting said ice cream.
“that too, but i just love you in general,”
“yeah?” he glances at you, an eyebrow raised.
“yes,”
“good,” his thumb rubbing circles against your skin, leaving goosebumps in its wake, “i love you too, i hope you know i’d never get up this late for anyone else,”
“i hope not,” the car pulls into the convenience store’s empty—save for the singular employee’s car—parking lot, sunghoon putting the car into park. he gets out, leaving you alone in the car for a brief moment, rounding to your side and opening the door.
he leans against it, staring at you with a soft, fond smile. the look makes you nervous, your face heating up at the prolonged eye contact. it gets to be too much after a few seconds, and you reach up to cover his eyes with your hand, “okay, stop staring, you’re weird,”
he lets out a laugh, removing your hand from his eyes, “i’m weird? you’re the one who wants ice cream at three in the morning,”
“well, you still drove me here, so you’re equally as weird. you could’ve said no,”
“nope, i can’t say no to you. it’s impossible,” 
he doesn’t say anything else as he grabs your hand, helping you out of the car. you’re perfectly capable of stepping out of it yourself but you let him help you, not really thinking about it—a habit that’s formed after years of dating him. you smile to yourself, the cold air of the convenience store making you shiver while you follow behind sunghoon to the small freezer section.
KIM SEONWOO you smile when sunoo hands you a shopping bag, looking inside to see an album you’d been wanting for a while now. you’d only mentioned it to him once, an offhand statement that you moved on from immediately after saying it. you should’ve known sunoo was going to remember and buy it for you, even though you could have bought it yourself.
noticing something else in the bag, you move the album out of the way, your eyes widening in surprise when you see that he also bought you the phone charm you’d really wanted. you hadn’t been able to find it in any stores, though, and yet somehow sunoo did.
“those are the ones you wanted right?” his eyes go back and forth between you and the bag, watching your reaction, “i saw the charm and remembered you wanted it, so i got it. it was the last one,”
“mhm, it is, thank you,” you take it out, looking it over with a grin on your face, “you didn’t need to get the album, i could’ve bought it,”
he waves you off, “it’s fine. i just got it while i was there. you like them, though, right?”
“obviously, i like them,” you lean forward, wrapping your arms around his shoulders, embracing him. he hugs you back, placing his hands on your waist. he can’t help but let out an exasperated sigh when you continue your sentence, “but i feel bad that you’re always wasting your money,”
“i don’t waste money, it’s for a good cause. as long as you like it, angel, then who cares. i’ll get you whatever you want, it’s not a big deal,” he pulls away from you, bringing a hand up to cup your cheek, pulling you into a gentle kiss.
YANG JUNGWON “you look pretty in that shirt,” jungwon says, snapping yet another photo of you since you started your clothing haul. you giggle, looking at him through your mirror—he’s looking at his phone, probably scrolling through the pictures he’s taken so far.
“you don’t have to take a picture of every outfit, won,” you turn, walking over to sit next to him on your bed, “i’ll wear them again,”
“but i like taking pictures of you,” he shows you his phone, a photo of you from earlier on his screen. you hadn’t noticed him take this one—it was while you were wearing one of the first outfits you had tried on, your face in a weird expression. you assume jungwon had taken in while you were talking and you grimace when he continues speaking, “you look pretty,”
you give him a look, “i look bad in that picture,”
your boyfriend frowns, setting his phone to the side, putting your focus back on his face rather than his phone. he narrows his eyes at you, playfully glaring, “i don’t think so, you look good in every picture,”
“no,” you scoff, “you’re just saying that because you’re my boyfriend,”
“no,” he mocks you, sticking his tongue out at you. you laugh at his immaturity, moving to push his shoulder but he stops you, hand gripping onto your wrist. you pause, biting your lip to keep from laughing when you notice he’s still glaring at you, “it’s because you are pretty. so pretty that i go crazy every time i see you,”
“you’re overselling it,” you look away, feeling your face heat up at his compliments. you still aren’t used to him being so… nice. not that he was ever mean, but the constant barrage of compliments the boy gives you on a daily basis is enough to make anyone nervous.
“am not,” he gives you an offended look, letting out a huff of air, “i’m just telling the truth, lovely.”
NISHIMURA RIKI you glance to your side, stifling a giggle when riki lets out a loud groan, his feet dragging against the floor as you walk into yet another store.
you’ve been shopping for the past three hours, having gone into most of the businesses at the mall. riki, despite you telling him he didn’t have to come, tagged along but he started complaining almost immediately after you exited the third store.
“you definitely don’t have enough money to buy anything else—can we go?” he squeezes your hand, rubbing his thumb against your knuckles. the act almost makes you comply with his request.
“i told you that you didn’t have to come,”
you always tell him that he doesn’t have to go with you, whether it be to the mall or something else. every single time he insists, telling you that he’ll go with you so you don’t ‘feel lonely’, only for him to start complaining within five minutes of whatever it is that you’re doing. you know that it’s lighthearted, but you can’t help but (lovingly) roll your eyes at him every time he does this.
“i didn’t think we’d be here for five days,”
you scoff, bumping him with your shoulder while you card through a rack of t-shirts with your free hand, “you’re dramatic,”
“no, i’m not. my feet just hurt,”
humming, you pull out a shirt, scrutinizing it for a few moments before ultimately deciding to buy it, “go sit in the car then, babe,”
“uh, no,” he gives you a dirty look, grabbing the shirt from your hand so that he could hold it instead, “i came ‘cos i wanted to spend time with you, not the car.”
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note. PHEWWWW whyd this take me a week to write bye sunoo was making me go crazy. anyways yay guess their love languages!!!! i think it's obvious but if it isn't oops + layout inspired by my fav bywons <3
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kosije · 10 months
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c/w ★ ׂ duke!miguel x fem!afab reader. smut. all smut. miguel tries to exercise restraint. spoiler alert: he fails. sins in silk extra <3
duke!miguel o'hara: who enjoys taking you in the most compromising of places.
he'll fuck you in the garden, behind the tall bushes of flowers taunting you on how loud you're getting.
"oh princess, i don't think it would fool anyone if they heard the flowers calling my name. if you can't bite your tongue, even the k-kingdom next door will hear of this."
"heavens," he groans. "i bet you'd like that, huh? want everyone to know how you have the best fucking cunt, yeah?" he all but moans into the back of your neck. "too bad it's all for me."
he'll excuse himself from the table just to eat you out inside the kitchen storage room, away from your father, his colleagues, and the cooks.
messily making out with your puffy pussy, moaning into your mound when your hand pulls on his hair. "m' baby needs 't don't she?" he slurs like a drunk man. his large hands wrap around, digging into the meat of your thighs only to pull himself in deeper. you're having trouble keeping your voice down, but thankfully the kitchen is a mess of noise and masks your low mewls and his groans completely.
he sneaks back to the table while you to your chambers, but you don't miss his cheeky "oh, im afraid i've already eaten dessert."
his favorite place, however, is the place he took you for the first time. he takes his time in those moments. working you up, till you almost break, then taking you apart only to put you back together over and over again.
slowly licks up your neck, with your legs fold in front of you, he pistons himself in and out of you. your antsy hands drop from your thighs to his back, up to his neck, and down into the sheets, crying out at how deep he fucks you—at how much you can see how he's been needing you. how he's been missing you.
it's in the way he kisses and worships your body, the way he whimpers whenever he's inside you, how he looks at you, even while around so many people at your father's party. how big they got when they saw you, how wrinkled the sides were when he smiled. in the way he holds you after he's fucked you—tight and warm. how he nuzzles into your neck, kissing your shoulder, completely flush to you.
but you're no better. calling out for him whenever you touch yourself, wearing his favorite color every time he comes around, with matching panties. how you wrap your hands over his arms, kissing the meat of them. how you hide little gifts, sonnets you've worked, sweets you've baked, intimates you've worn. and the way when he writes you back, "thanking you," you feel like you could die.
it's easy to secretly write about him. gush to yourself about your scandalous love with "mr. frown," you write for hours. tuck them safely into the hole inside your closet that you made when you were younger. you write all the days you don't see him, and when you do you always have to mention something from them.
"i wish time would stop when we are together, so we can see what forever feels like."
"i need you more and more every time we part. you take a piece of me with you i desperately need back. that spins and leaps inside of you when you see him again.
"if only you'd stay tonight, then my room wouldn't feel so empty."
when you tell him this, with that sparkly look in your eyes, he pauses. looking you over.
"it won't be good for us, princess."
"why is that?"
"i won't—i won't be able to control myself, just not safe for us."
"you don't know that," you all but plead. "you have to at least be curious, of what can happen if we try?"
he understands what you're referring to because those same thoughts bounce around his mind whenever he's alone, missing you. those pestering "what if's," that keep him up, keep him wondering. the ones that eat at his resolve.
so even though it's risky, and is no good for him at all, he sinks back into your bed. kisses the back of your neck, nosing your baby hairs, and whispers a weak, "i can never say no to you"
and for a night, you two don't have to spend it missing something.
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jobean12-blog · 5 months
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Make You Mine
Pairing: Joel Miller x female reader (Friends to lovers)
Word Count: 930
Summary: You and Joel have been friends for some time and when he comes to rescue you from a shitty situation all the tension that's been building comes to a head and he takes you home to make you his.
Author's Note: This is a stand alone story but thank you to the lovely @casa-boiardi I wrote a little something for what happens when they get home❤️You don't have to read Where You Belong first but of course you can if you want 🥰All these new pics of Pedro filming have been driving me crazy- in the best way-so yummy! Thank you all so much for reading! Much love always! ❤️❤️❤️Divider by the sweet @firefly-graphics thank you Daisy! 🥰
Warnings: soft sweetness mixed in with all the yummy, he can't get enough and you can't either, fingering, oral (f rec), p in v
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Pedro Pascal Character Masterlist
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The door to your house swings open with the force of his push and when he slams it shut he pins you against it, his breathing harsh and heavy as his fingers trace the curve of your jaw.
“I want to go slow,” he rasps, pressing closer. “I want to touch you everywhere, taste you everywhere…”
His free hand rests along the door just above your head, fingers fisted and pressing into the wood as he fights to control himself.
With his name falling from your lips in a whispered plea you drag your hands down his soaked shirt and dig your fingers into the waistband of his jeans.
The rain still falls outside and you’re both drenched, your clothes sticking to your skin. You stay like that for several moments, pressed together with lips hovering just an inch apart.
“Sweetheart,” he groans. “Fuck.”
The words have barely left his lips before he kisses you, dropping his hand from the door and taking you in his arms. He can’t get you close enough and you can feel the temptation in every part of his body, muscles tense as he traces each of your curves.
“I want to go slow…” he says again, maybe to remind himself, or you, before he rolls his hips, and whispers, “but I don’t think I can control myself.”
“Don’t,” you answer, matching his movements and working hard to pull the wet shirt from his body.
He gets the message and releases you just enough to haul if off. His jeans hang low, molded to his thick thighs and your fingers fall to the button, working it open quickly.
When the denim hangs loose, revealing more of his dark trail of hair, you lick your lips and try to tug them down further but they cling to his wet skin.
He hisses out your name when you reach between his legs but tries to focus on tugging the straps of your dress from your shoulders.
Thick fingers fumble for the zipper at your back, finally grabbing hold of the small piece of metal and pulling it down slowly. He steps back from the door and takes you with him, watching intently as he peels the dress from your body.
It looks as if he wants to say something but instead he hauls you possessively back into his arms and kisses you, his lips soft despite the scraping of his beard. His large hand splays at the small of your back, sweeping upward until he cups the back of your neck and tilts your head to deepen the kiss.
Your back hits the door again and you moan into his mouth, still desperately trying to get his jeans over his thighs but he falls to his knees, taking your panties down with him. He looks up at you, his dark hair even more tousled, the ends drying and curling more than usual. The curls frame his face, flushed and eager.
“Just a taste sweetheart. I need it.”
Your fingers thread through his hair and when he rests your leg over his shoulder your knees almost buckle. His kisses are soft as they move along your calf then to your inner thigh and tease you with every inch that brings him closer.
His eyes close for the briefest second and his nose bumps your clit, so light, but the sensation makes your entire body react. His inhale is long and deep and hums with satisfaction.
“Oh my god, Joel.”
The swipe of his tongue is just a tease at first, light flicks that drive you wild and have you begging for more. When you can’t take it any longer you give his hair a sharp tug and he pushes his tongue deeper to taste you, working you over like a man so consumed he can’t do anything else.
His rough beard drags along your delicate skin and his fingers glide up your leg, gathering the wetness between them.
“Yes, yes, please,” you chant, rolling your hips.
He pushes one finger inside you, then another, groaning when he feels you squeeze around them. Your legs start to shake and you pull his face closer.
“That’s it sweetheart,” he murmurs, “show me how much you love my face buried between your legs.”
When he sucks your clit between his lips it sends you over the edge, the rush of pleasure overwhelming and his name the only thing you can remember.
He stands slowly, kissing along every inch of you until he’s upright and holds you in his arms, giving you time to catch your breath. His shoulders feel so strong under your palms and you press your lips to his neck, feeling the wild beat of his pulse.
His eyes meet yours and he takes your face between his hands.
“Joel,” you whisper, gently bumping your nose to his. “Joel, I want you inside me. Make me yours.”
The heat in his gaze matches the burn of your skin and he reaches for his jeans, grasping and pulling until they’re down at his ankles. He settles against you, hard and thick but his touch is soft and reverent with every kiss and sweep of his fingers.
He fills you slowly, holding your stare before he’s fully seated, the breath rushing out of your lungs. Then he kisses you, stealing your breath even more and whispering against your lips, “how the fuck do you do it, sweetheart?”
“Do what?” you gasp.
“Taste even sweeter now that I know you’re mine.”  
And you want to be his, more than your next breath.
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@lorilane33 @kmc1989 @lizette50 @hiddles-rose @littleseasiren
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homestylehughes · 7 months
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jack hughes: soft sunday love
authors note: OMG HI?? I'm back from the dead!!! I WILL do better... I PROMISE. anywayssss. thank you guys so much for all of the support on my other works so grateful <3. ANYWHOO I'm done yapping. enjoy this cute little fic I wrote about jack, our sassy yet cute king. okay bye I hope you enjoy, reblog and like if you like it🤭. <3333
wc: 844
warnings: it's a litttleeeeeee suggestive, but not complete smut! so read at our own discretion :)
It's very unusual for Jack to be home on Sunday, especially a Sunday morning. With usually having a game or morning skate. The feeling of his body beside mine, seeing his face glow with the light coming through the blinds was unusual. A site I could get used to, one that I'll never grow tired of seeing. 
I turn to my side to get a better look at him. Bringing my hand to trace the freckles and sun spots on his back, taking in every part of him. Bringing my fingers to his lower back and scratching back up. I do this, as I watch his chest slowly rise and fall. How is he so beautiful? I think to myself. 
Making my way from his back I slowly start to bring my hand to his hair, as I slowly start to run my fingers through his hair. Combing through his brown locks. I feel him stir below me, slowly turning to face me, still deep in sleep, his eyes are still closed. 
I take in the natural state of his face. At his clear and soft skin, cherry coloured lips, that I could kiss again and again. I take in every little piece of him. 
Bringing my hand from his hair, I slowly began to trace his face, jaw and slowly make my way to his neck. I love every part of him I say to myself. 
I began to trace his arm, stomach. My gaze is locked in that I don't even realize jack is looking at me until  my eyes make their way back up to his face. 
Our eyes catch each other, I can feel my cheeks slightly tingly and warm up like an embarrassed child that just got caught for doing something they shouldn't have done. 
“Why'd you stop, that feels good” he says, as he smiles down at me. 
He grabs my retracted hand that was once on his arm, and places it in his hair. “Please baby” he looks at me with those puppy-like eyes. I roll my eyes dramatically and begin to run my fingers through his hair again. 
Jack sighs in contempt and gently shoves his face into my chest, I can feel his smile on my collar bones like a little kid. 
“I missed this,” Jack says, face still pressed into my neck. I missed this too. I sigh back. Jack slowly lifts his face from my neck. His gaze is so strong in mine eyes full of love. “My pretty girl,” Jack whispers at me, as he slowly moves hair off of my face. His face slowly moved closer to mine. Teasing me with how close our lips can get to each other without completely touching. 
I start to grow impatient, I rise up just enough so our lips finally meet. His soft lips finally met mine. Jack sighs into my mouth as he grabs my face to pull me closer into him. The soft kiss starts to become more intense, as Jack moves so he's now on top of me. Our kiss becomes more urgent, as he pushes my thighs apart so he can rest in between them. 
The tension in the room grows by the second. Jack hands leave my face and travel their way down my body, as they try and pull away the sheet that covers it. Grabbing my hips to pull me more flush to his body. 
The sudden moves, causes my breath to hitch, giving Jack an opening to slide his tongue into my mouth. Fighting for dominance, our tongues battling back and forth. I can feel our breaths beginning to quicken. The room is becoming warmer.
  My grip on his hair starts to tighten as he starts to move his lips down my neck, hitting all of my sweet spots. “Jack” I sign out as I look down at him, kissing down my neck, and anywhere my shirt doesn't cover. I miss his lips on mine, grabbing his jaw and guiding him back to my lips. 
I can feel his smile on my lips as I go to kiss him. “Someones greedy this morning, I see” Jack mumbles against my lips. “I'll never get you like this,” I say before I connect our lips again. 
A few seconds later Jack pulls his lips from mine, with a smacking sound. Our chests both rise as we lock eyes. 
“I want more sundays like this” he says, “i agree, i want you all to myself in this bed every morning.” I utter back at him. A smile rips across jack's face, “your wish is my command baby” jack says as he moves his hands down my sides, sliding them under my shirt. Tracing my bare skin, his eyes still locked with mine. 
“How about we start now?” he says as he smirks down at me. Finally peeling my shirt off my body, bringing his face back to mine, our lips meeting again in a rush. my back meeting the soft sheets below me, in a soft sunday love.
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megu-meow · 5 months
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take my breath - sukuna
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Part 4 of my Hockey Player Sukuna Series - Part 1 - Part 2 - Part 3
Lmk if you want to be added to the tag list! :D
This part is shit, I'm sorry. After TTPD I found myself unable to write fluff, but I've kept people waiting, so I had to force myself to write this.
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When Sukuna says soon, he means the next Thursday. He calls you on Wednesday after practice to ask you formally whether you could keep your schedule open for the next evening and you agree, because you have been waiting for your date for a few days now. However, you find yourself frustratedly trying on every piece of clothing you own, being indecisive about what to wear. You want to look good for him, because as you shyly admitted to your brother, you really like Sukuna. He's rough around the edges, but he seems like a good guy, unlike all the other people you've dated before. You contemplate calling one of the girls, but Senna and Akane love to gossip, and for the time being, you'd like to keep this little date with Sukuna a secret. So you call the only person you can trust in this situation.
Sophia arrives ten minutes after calling her saying you need help getting dressed for a date. She's the only one of the girls who knows that you have something going on with Sukuna, it makes total sense to reach out to her in your current circumstance. You already made her swear on your brother's life that she's not going to say anything about it to the girls, so you're safe in that regard. Plus, she has a keen sense of style, which comes in handy considering you want to impress the pink-haired centerman with your looks. You noticed already how many pretty girls were wearing his jersey to games, you know that he could have any of them at his disposal in a second. It still seems sketchy that he became so fond of you in such a short period of time, but you're not complaining.
"He was so nervous when I left, Kento thought he was going to explode." Sophia says as you try to put socks on, balancing on one foot.
"Who was?" you look at her and you nearly kiss the ground, regaining your balance at the last second.
"Sukuna, of course. He's been pacing around the apartment like a maniac all day."
"Really?" you ask timidly.
"Yeah. Kento said he had never seen him so stressed." for some reason hearing this makes you smile and your heart warm. Sukuna doesn't strike you as someone who would be nervous about dates, but you already learned not to assume anything about him, because he always surprises you with the way he acts.
"I'm kinda nervous too. I want this to go well." you explain and you try to put your earrings in. As you look at yourself in the mirror, wearing the outfit your sister-in-law put together, you're content with your reflection. You look amazing and you feel confident in the pieces you're wearing. Your makeup and hair are done in your usual way, you don't want to look like a completely different person. Apparently, Sukuna agrees that you look good. Because the moment you open your door for him, he freezes in place, with his eyes wide and glimmering. For a second you think something is wrong, but those thoughts are quickly dismissed as he speaks.
"You look beautiful, y/n." he states, his voice softer than you've ever heard. He is wearing a burgundy suit, one that complements his skin tone. His hair is sleeked back, but it still looks effortless in a way. You can smell his usual cologne, the musky scent that lingers. It suits him.
"Says you, handsome." you compliment him back and you swear a blush appears on his cheek. Suddenly, he remembers something, and he gives you the flowers he was hiding behind his back all this time. "Thank you! What happened to all flowers are stupid?" you ask as you smell the peonies in your hand.
"Well I got you some sunflowers, but your brother told me I was insane, so he dragged me to a florist to get 'ones that girls actually like'." he explains.
"He's right, you know? You made me wait four days for this date, the least you can do is give me some girly flowers." you joke and he rolls his eyes. Nonetheless, he reaches out for your hand. You slip it in his palm, which is calloused from holding a hockey stick most hours of a day, but very warm.
"Listen, woman, I made you wait because I wanted to take you to a 3 Michelin Star restaurant that specializes in your favorite food." he explains as he opens the door of his car for you to hop in.
"What?" you ask in shock before he closes the door after you. He leans down, looking into your eyes with a smirk across his face.
"You heard me, y/n. Now, don't be so shocked, I told you I would go all out for our date."
"You didn't have to though. You could have taken me to a hole-in-the-wall ramen place and I would have liked it." you say, slightly feeling bad "How did you manage to get a table anyway? These places are booked months ahead."
"The owner is a huge Wizards fan and apparently I'm his kid's favorite player. I had the team sign a jersey and got them season tickets, so they were glad to do me a small favor in return." he explains like it is nothing, but it means the world to you. No one has ever done something so grand for a date with you. It makes your heartbeat go nuts and you can't help but stare at him as he drives. You observe his tattooed hand that is on the armrest, shaking slightly. You smile and instinctively take it in yours, laying your intertwined hands in your lap. He turns his head towards you in shock, but he quickly looks back to the road. The blush from before returns, even his neck turns pink, and you smile, adoring his reactions.
The dinner goes by fast, despite lasting for hours. The food is exquisite, as expected. Most importantly, there's not one dull moment. You and Sukuna talk like you've known each other your whole lives. He asks about your interests, what you like to do in your free time, where you went to school, and about your friends. He seems interested in everything you talk about, he listens with an intensity you find rare. He drinks up every single word that leaves your mouth, he asks questions, and he's genuinely curious about how you perceive the world. You ask him plenty of questions yourself and he answers them gladly. He seems very fond of his brothers, he shows you pictures of them and you observe how Yuji has the same color hair as him and Choso has a very similar line tattooed on his nose as Sukuna's.
"They're coming to town soon, by the way." he comments and your eyes light up.
"How come?"
"It's Yuji's draft year and it's held here in Tokyo. Choso just tags along because he clings to that brat like a leech."
"That's so rude!" you exclaim, but you're smiling. You're aware that Sukuna probably shows his love towards his brothers a little bit peculiarly.
"Well, it's true."
"Do you see a chance of Yuji being drafted by the wizards?" you ask.
"Not really. He is prospected to be in the top three of the draft and we are clinching the playoffs this next game as number one in the league. We probably won't have a pick in the top ten."
"I'm sorry to hear that. It would have been cool for him to have you on the team he's drafted to."
"I don't think so. If I'm being honest, I'm glad there is little to no chance for that to happen as of now."
"Why is that?"
"He won't have a target on his back. Otherwise, people would be mean to him and would rough him up with the sole purpose of pissing me off. This way he can become a professional player without being concussed every game."
"You're very protective of your brothers, huh?" you ask and he smiles.
"You could say that." he smirks "I'm protective of everything I own, you know." he adds looking into your eyes deeply. You know there is a deeper meaning behind his words. He's implying that he would be just as safeguarding about you if you were his girlfriend. You find it hard to believe that a guy like him exists. He is so charming but respectful. He is attentive, you mentioned one time what your favorite food was and he remembered, moreover, he went out of his way to get you the best version available of it.
"Where were you my whole life?" you ask, not realizing that you blurted out your thoughts just like that. You feel embarrassed as your hands fly to your runny mouth, covering it. However, Sukuna just laughs. He rarely laughs like this. It comes deep from within, the type that shakes your whole body and you're sure you're red like a lobster as you observe him.
"Sweetheart, I've been asking that question about you since December." he answers, his charming smile never fading.
"December?" you question.
"Oh, I thought your brother told you about that too." he seems shocked, but he continues "I've spotted you in the crowd at the Family Game in Kyoto. I was mesmerized, I even ran into one of my teammates on accident, I was too preoccupied with looking at the angel in the Wizards jersey."
"Oh, I remember that. I was laughing about that with Akane." you recall and Sukuna frowns "So you've had your eyes sat on me since then?"
"Well, I didn't know I was going to meet you on my first day in Tokyo while I was shirtless, but destiny has its way, I guess."
"You believe we were destined to meet?"
"I told you before, sweetheart, I am superstitious. Take that as you want, but I do think we are here having dinner for a reason." he explains.
Your date ends when the restaurant staff asks you nicely to leave because they've been closed for two hours already. You didn't even realize that all the other customers had left and the staff was ready to close. Sukuna pays for the bill and he sends you a death glare when you offer to pay for your part. "Woman, you won't have to pay for anything while you are out with me." he states, irritation evident in his tone. He also drives you home and walks you to your door. You're wearing his suit jacket, because you were a bit cold, although he turned the heater on in the car.
"Thank you for tonight! I had a lot of fun." you smile up at him, as you're trying to say goodbye on your doorstep.
"There is nothing to be thankful for, you got what you deserve, princess." he says and he seems a little bit disappointed, but you're not able to determine why. Maybe the date didn't go as well in his perspective as you thought.
"Is something wrong? Did I say something to offend you?" you ask in panic and he quickly shakes his head, dismissing it. Suddenly the redness returns to hiss tattooed cheeks and he suddenly seems nervous.
"I just thought I deserved a kiss after that." he whispers shyly, his face down, gaze locked on the tip of his shoes.
It's your turn to laugh at his awkwardness, but you still cup his cheeks in your hands and pull him in for a kiss. You don't quite understand where all this fearlessness came into you from, but you're glad it did because the kiss is magical. It's soft but eager and you can feel him smiling into it as his large hands find their destined spot in your hips. You're the one to break the kiss, but Sukuna pulls you in closer, resting his forehead on yours, and looking deeply into your eyes. His smile reaches his ears and he whispers to you softly:
"I hate to break it to you princess, but I don't think I can go on with my life without doing that every day."
You smile, and respond with a smile just as wide as his "Good, because I don't think I can either."
The next day is game day and you arrive at your brother's apartment beforehand. You usually drive with them to the arena. Sukuna emerges from his room in his game-day suit, his eyes glowing up the moment he sees you there.
"We're gonna be down at the car, Bambi." Sophia says as she and Kento leave in a hurry.
Sukuna steps closer to you, embracing you, his muscular arms around your shoulders.
"Hello, princess! How are you?"
"I'm great, Sukuna. Thank you for asking! How are you?"
"Better now that I know you're coming to the game to cheer me on." you smile, stepping away from the embrace, and you look into his eyes. "Are you gonna give me a good luck kiss or what?"
You're surprised by his boldness, but you leave a peck on his lips nonetheless.
"If I do good today, you're gonna have to do that before every game." he states.
"Alright. You've got yourself a deal." you smile and you urge him out the door, before your brother and his wife could start thinking that you're doing something inappropriate in their home.
Good does not describe the way Sukuna plays that night. He has one of the best games of his life and after the first goal, as his celebration, he looks towards where you're standing and points at you with a wide smile on his face. This is your sign that from now on, you're gonna have to keep your promise of giving him a good luck kiss before every game.
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idyllic-ghost · 4 months
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Out-of-tune piano; Seonghwa x gn!reader (fluff, 566 words)
The soft sound of a slightly out-of-tune piano echoes through the opened bedroom door. Turning in your sleep-like daze, you’re met with fluffy pillows against your face - and no Seonghwa in sight. With a sigh you sit up, reluctantly rubbing the sleep out of your eyes before stretching out your limbs. The piano continues, slow and steady. Occasionally, the player presses the wrong key and has to replay the part. You don’t usually hear live music being played in your apartment - seeing as neither of you had any instruments - so it takes a while for you to puzzle the pieces together. That piano you bought for Seonghwa for your anniversary arrived yesterday. Right. You aren’t sure why he wanted a piano in the first place, but you didn’t question it. Especially not when he looked so happy when you told him about it. 
The cold air sends goosebumps over your skin as you pull away the covers. Picking up the first clothing item you can see, one of Seonghwa’s discarded t-shirts, you quickly make your way out to the living room. There, the piano stands awkwardly in the middle of the room. It arrived late, and neither of you wanted to move it around. So, in the middle of the room, it is! For now. Seonghwa doesn’t notice you, even though the sound of your feet against the hardwood floor is the opposite of soft. His back is turned to you, his head tilted down to watch the keys intently. The checkered pajama pants, old t-shirt, and messy hair combination contrast the fancy dark wood of the piano nicely. 
When you wrap your arms around his shoulders, he flinches ever so slightly before he sinks into your embrace. A soft sigh escapes his parted lips as he goes to push his glasses further up the bridge of his nose. You grumble a “good morning,” although it comes out as more of a grunt. 
“Did I wake you?” he asks.
“Yeah, but it was nice,” you admit. “We should get someone to tune the piano, though.”
“I’ll take care of it.” He smooths his fingers over the dark wood. “I’m sure someone on my team knows someone.”
You hum in response, still too tired to speak full sentences. Seonghwa turns around in his piano chair, maneuvering you to straddle his lap. He kisses the corner of your mouth, too sleepy to realize that he’s missed your mouth. 
“I’ll play every day,” he says. “I’ll get really good- I’ll play at our wedding or something.”
“Babe, you’re supposed to walk down the aisle- not accompany the ceremony,” you remind him. 
Seonghwa smiles at his mistake, hiding his face by pressing it against your chest. He’s still half asleep, as anyone would be at eight in the morning, so you’re quick to forgive him for his mishap.
“Besides, I like the thought of having private concerts here in the apartment. All to myself.” You take his face in your hands and make him look at you again.
His glasses are a little crooked, and he wears a matching lopsided smile, but to you, he’s perfect. 
“Can I make you breakfast while you keep practicing?” you ask.
“Sure.
“You have to let go of me, then.” You giggle.
Seonghwa reluctantly lets go of you, allowing you to walk over to the kitchen as he turns back to his out-of-tune piano.
✦ .  ⁺   . ✦ .  ⁺   . ✦
Disclaimer: The scenarios and depictions in my works are fictional and do not represent real-life situations. They do not aim to reflect the complexities of any culture, city, or individual. All characters are entirely fictional, regardless of names or descriptions.
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miniversse · 5 months
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⭑ ”i owe you” pt.2 ⭑
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╰┈➤ READ PART 1
⭑ jeongin x female reader
⭑ content includes: non-idol reader, non-idol jeongin, mentions of drinking, unprotected sex, releasing, fingering, mentions of scars and stitches, use of pet names (baby)
⭑ note: i cannot begin to describe how much i love this piece. please read part 1 for it all to make sense! ⭑ minors dni
⭑——————————————————⭑
recollections of that very night begin to flow through your mind and how everyday for weeks you stared into the dark alleyways, trying to picture his body there. immediately your eyes dart to his neck, only to find his tattoos slightly fading…
(SKZ)
your eyes dart back to his face, still questioning if it was true or not.
“i owe you.”
“j-jeongin?”
he slowly nods, a soft smile growing on his healed face.
“i don’t think i thanked you enough for that night.” he stops to look down at his shoes, kicking at the box in front of him to fill the silence, speaking again.
“what you did, it really changed me. you didn’t have to help me, even after i was a total bitch to you.”
the emotions you had five years ago the first time you locked eyes with him grew inside of you again, but in another light. first time it was sympathy and worry. but now it’s love and comfort.
“come have a drink at my place, as way of welcoming you as my new neighbor” you suggest, hoping it can soften the mood.
“you changed your paintings” he sets his shot glass slowly on the table, observing your living room.
“how do you know?” you never knew he would remember so much, and you felt embarrassed.
“i had to distract myself from the pain, it was the only thing i could admire.”
“i thought it was time for a cha-“
“other than you”
the words caught in your throat and your heart stopped beating for a moment. the way he glanced at you never left your mind, and it all made sense now. before you could react, he brings himself closer to you on the couch, resting his palm on your cheek. you were able to get a closer look of his healed scar, secretly admiring your work.
“5 years, y/n. you never left my mind for a day”
his lips clash with yours, aggressive kisses from the beginning. his tongue glides over yours, moving deeper and deeper inside of your mouth. his hand rests on your waist, sneakily pushing you closer to him. it felt like the world was timing you, your bodies frantically rushing to the bedroom, lips still locked.
his hand rides up your shirt, fiddling with your bra strap. your body tingles at his touch, bringing him closer.
“more, jeongin”
“i.n” he mumbles, breaking the kiss you thought would never end.
“I don’t want this to be a one time thing, y/n”
you couldn’t take him seriously while he glides his hands over your skin, exploring every part of your body and feeling his boner against your thigh.
“isn’t that why you moved next to me?” 
he laughs, placing his head in the nook of your neck, taking in your sweet smell. he brings his mouth closer to your ear, placing small hot kisses around it.
“you could say so”
the setting sun glorified his body over yours, stripping naked and revealing his bare self to you. there was more than you thought had happened to him. his chest had several stitches everywhere which were slowly healing.
“w-what’s this?”
he looks down, tracing every stitch and bringing his fingers down to trace them onto your bare torso.
“SKZ. i was apart of some underground group. we got into a lot of scandals and fights and deals gone wrong. we were wanted, dead or alive.”
he moves to lay down next to you, tucking strands of your hair behind your ear as you listen attentively.
“i was always the one who got the hurts, because i was always initiating the problems. that day, was my last day being in SKZ”
“what made you leave?” your questions didn’t bother him anymore, he answered you with love and passion, and it couldn’t have been better.
“you. i was a hopeless romantic, and i thought no doctor would date someone like me. so i changed for you.”
you place a peck on his cheek, laying on his chest to hear the rest.
“i wrote your address on a paper, got a stable job, got off the police’s radar and here i am. with you.”
his words made you squirm with joy and sympathy. you wanted to pay off every day of those 5 years he spent for you. you want it to be eternity with him.
“fuck, baby” he groans at the way you stretch around his dick, grabbing onto the sheets for support.
you moved up and down his thick length, moaning with every inch he put inside of you. he felt like an escape of the harsh and cruel worlds you both lived in.
“faster baby, faster” you oblige, taking him in faster and slamming your ass down on him, making him go wild. he brings his two fingers to your mouth, pushing your bottom lip open. he swirls your saliva around them and brings it down to your clit, moving in slow circular motions.
“oh my fu- i.n fuck” your breath became harder to catch at the overloaded sensory.
he bit at his lower lip, enjoying the view of your sex face, pounding body and wet clit. you couldn’t deny that he looked ten times hotter with his scars that must carry so much significance to him.
his dick jerks inside of you and his veins glide again your walls. he only rubbed you faster, moving to place his fingers inside of you too, bringing you to your orgasm. your unholy moans and sweet nothings filled the air, and your release coated his dick, lubricating his final moments before he releases too.
you fall onto the mattress beside him, panting and holding each other tight.
“baby?” you whisper to him softly.
“hm?” his foxy eyes gaze into yours, waiting to listen to you all day, all month, all year.
“i owe you”
FIN.
⭑ TAG LIST
@captainchrisstan @all4minnie @rylea08 @strayywayy @katsukis1wife @kayleefriedchicken
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corpsekiller · 5 months
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 † THE WOLF IN THE SHADOWS — T.FUSHIGURO
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i honestly have nothing to say for myself, i just felt like writing this. thanks to my lovely boyfriend for motivating me to finish this in more than one way (ifykyk) and i hope you enjoy reading it <3
PAIRING. toji fushiguro x fem!reader
WARNINGS. porn without plot, mentions of blood and violence, fingering, degradation, praise, slight dumbification, spanking, restraint, hair pulling, overstimulation
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Just thinking about Toji who comes home late at night, still high on adrenaline and in desperate need to let out the pent-up frustration that's pulsing through his veins with every steady beat of his heart. It's nearly unbearable, this hunger he feels in the depths of his bones, an animalistic urge to sink his teeth into the soft skin of your neck and take you on the nearest surface that only seems to grow at the scent of your sweet perfume lingering in the air of your shared apartment.
A devious smirk pulls at the corners of his mouth when he finds you in the kitchen, humming a soft tune as you pour yourself a cup of tea and lean against the counter with a tired sigh. Your hair falls around your shoulders in soft waves, the dim lighting of your kitchen illuminates your pretty face in a warm hue, just enough for him to notice the slight frown that curls your lips as your eyes wander to your phone to check the time.
How cute — you're waiting for him to return home.
Toji bites back a sinister grin and relishes in the sight in front of him for just a moment longer — his beautiful wife, so innocently unaware of the wolf watching her from the shadows. The nightgown you wear leaves little to his imagination, the thin fabric barely covering the curve of your ass and he feels how every restraint he had coming in is utterly blown to pieces.
In a matter of seconds, he slips in front of you and cages your body with ease, a dark chuckle reverberating through his chest at the startled sound tumbling from your lips.
"Toji! When did you—"
He doesn't give you enough time to finish your question. His right hand comes up to grasp your chin roughly, forcefully tilting your head so he can crash his mouth against yours — the kiss is hot and heavy, downright sinful in the way he sinks his teeth into your bottom lip. A shiver runs down your spine as his tongue slips past your teeth, muffling a pathetic whine that threatens to escape your at the sensation of his calloused fingers sneaking between your trembling legs, squeezing at the plush flesh of your thighs before he grazes his thumb over your clothed pussy.
"F-fuck! You're barely home and you're already... What's gotten into you?" You whimper, breath fluttering and he grits his teeth, swallows a growl that builds somewhere in his throat because you already look so gorgeously ruined it drives him insane — the fabric of your nightgown clinging to every curve of your body, the inside of your thighs slick with your arousal and your pretty tits heaving with every sharp exhale you take, nearly spilling out of your flimsy dress. There's a thin sheen of sweat glistening on your skin and he battles with the overwhelming urge to lick over your collarbone and savour the taste on the tip of his tongue.
"Are you seriously complaining, sweetheart?" He asks, voice barely above a whisper. There's a dangerous glint in his eyes and a part of you knows, you sealed your fate for the night. "I thought a dirty little slut like you would no better than that... don't worry, I'll make sure you won't be able to make a fuckin' sound after I'm done with you."
Before you can reply, your wrist is trapped in an iron grip. The next second, you're hauled around by one strong hand, and you gasp when you're shoved forward against the counter, bent over at the waist so that your cheeked is pressed against the cold surface and you're balanced on the tips of your toes. Your arm is twisted behind you, trapped in a tight grasp, and you can't muffle a wince as it digs into the small of your back when your husband pins you down. His other hand comes down to connect with your ass — a harsh slap that makes you squeal.
Blood-stained fingers fumble with the hem of your dress, greedily pushing the pink satin over your butt and bunching it around your waist before his hand curls around your hips to pull you flush against his crotch.
"God, I fuckin' missed ya," he drawls through gritted teeth, impatience seeping out of his bloodied hands that press into your hips to hold you steady as he ruts his bulge against your ass to emphasize his words — you can feel how hard he is, the thin fabric of his pants the only thing separating his throbbing cock from your wet heat. His fingers tug on your panties and the waistband cuts into your skin, causing you to let out a whimper of pain before the seams suddenly rip and cool air hits your exposed cunt. "Did you miss me too, princess?"
Instantly, you shake your head. Maybe, it's your own spite that gives you the courage to deny him or perhaps you simply confuse stubbornness with stupidity because only a split second later, he coaxes a scream out of your throat. His hand comes down on your ass — one, two, three, four — each slap harder than the one before until your skin feels hot and you're sure you'd find a reddened imprint in the shape of his fingers if you could take a look in the mirror right now.
"C'mon, sweetheart. There's no need to play coy now, I can feel how fuckin' soaked this pretty pussy is," he chuckles behind you. His fingers dip through your folds, a ghost of a touch that has you trembling before he draws leisure circles around your swollen clit. He's teasing you, breaking you apart piece by piece until you're begging him to fuck you and you know, he's enjoying every second of it. "Tell daddy how much you missed him."
His movements are relentless. Lightning jolts through your entire body, so pliant for him despite your efforts, and every lazy motion of his thumb on your puffy clit just feels so fuckin' good that you can't fight it any longer and—
"P-Please, fuck, please make me cum! Missed you so much, daddy," you keen, eyes rolling in the back of your head as he slides two fingers into your pussy, slowly stretching you out until your mind turns empty and all you can do is claw at the kitchen counter to find some sort of support.
"Good fuckin' girl... You like this, huh?" He murmurs, a satisfied grin pulling on the corners of his scarred mouth — he knows exactly how mean it is for him to ask you this question although you're barely able to form a coherent sentence, so condescending that you mindlessly nod your head along to his words. The pace he sets is unforgiving - each violent thrust of his fingers pushes you against the edge of the countertop, but you couldn't care less — if anything, the dull pain only sends you further to the edge. "Hah, of course you do, princess. Obedient little sluts like you are only good for one thing... isn't that right?"
Toji doesn't expect an answer from you, only asks these questions to relish in the way you pathetically try to stutter out a response only to be interrupted by your own moans. The sob you let out when he curls his fingers against your sweet spot sounds so broken that it makes him groan, cock leaking wet spots on the seam of his pants, but he's enjoying breaking you like this too much to care about his own pleasure.
His thumb flicks mercilessly over your swollen clit and heat surges through your core — every motion of his fingers sends another bolt of lighting through your sopping cunt and your body turns boneless against the hard surface your pinned against.
"Aww, look at you," he laughs, a sinister sound that resembles an animalistic growl. "Are you gonna cum on daddy's fingers? I'm not even fucking you properly and you're already falling apart around my fingers... what a filthy fuckin' slut."
"N-No, fuck—"
"No?" He repeats mockingly. "Well, that's too bad. You're going to cum on daddy's fingers like the good fuckin' slut you are whether you like it or not."
His words are meant to be cruel, but the whimper that tumbles from your lips, coated in your own spit and bitten raw from your teeth sinking into the soft flesh to keep yourself quiet, betrays how much you love his humiliating tone. Your pussy flutters around his fingers, clenching around each thick knuckle until the wet squelching sound fills your entire apartment.
Your orgasm hits you when he slips a third finger into your pussy and his thumb begins to circle your sensitive clit in brutal motions, turning you into a drooling, blabbering mess under his control. Every thought you could possibly fathom is turned to nothing but static as you squirm in his harsh grip, desperately trying to get away as he fucks you through your crashing high. It’s mind-shattering, hits you with unexpected force, and coaxes a sharp scream out of your throat that grows into incoherent whimpers until your voice finally gives out.
"That's my good girl," he murmurs, lazily pumping his fingers into your abused pussy as you twitch against the counter. His other hand has let go of your wrist, now gently caressing the reddened skin of your ass that still aches after his slaps but the warmth of his palm soothes some of the burning sting and you let yourself smile despite the exhaustion settling in your limbs.
Then, Toji chuckles darkly and runs a hand over your back, diligently following the curve of your spine until he can weave through your hair and fist it, tugging on it with a harsh yank that makes you whimper.
"Don't get too comfortable, princess. I'm not done with you, yet."
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addictedwritingg · 8 months
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Hate Means Love Ch.4
Jenna Ortega x Male Character.
Summary: Jenna Ortega shares a house with her roommate's, one of them being a male she can't stand, in other words, hates. He loves to tease and feed her hatred just to watch her for his pleasure (wink wink).
Warnings: Cussing, angst, fighting, crying and that's about it, buckle in for this chapter folks!
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Jenna's POV.
It's been 2 weeks since the first time Andre and I had sex, and we have been doing it every day, but the past week has been tricky since Devin and Trina are home from the little week get away and we haven't told them anything. Apart of me wishes I could get more from Andre then just constantly having sex. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing sex but to say I don't have feelings for this boy would be a lie, because I do. I've noticed he never kisses me when we are having sex, I've tried a few times, but he just moves his face from mine. My gut tells me he isn't looking for a relationship with me and just wants to have a friend with benefits situation, but a part of me wants more than that.
"Jenna, Girl get ready, the parties in an hour." Trina says tossing me my hair clip she borrowed. "Fuck." I mumble to myself and hurrying to my room to get ready because I completely forgot. I'm in my room in a bra and underwear digging in my closet trying to find something decent to wear when I hear my door shut and a pair of arms wrap around me from behind.
"Andre, not right now I'm not in the mood to be honest." I say turning around to look at him.
"What's wrong? did I do something?" He asks sitting on the edge of my bed.
I stood there for a moment, my mind racing a million miles a second, trying to think about what I should say, but instead my brain spits the words out for me.
"Why don't you kiss me?" I blurted out staring into his eyes that are giving out a shocked look.
He sat there looking at me for a moment before replying.
"Oh, I'm just not the kissing type of guy, its nothing against you Jen." He says with a faint smile, trying to reassure me.
I give him a smile, feeling a bit better about what he said, some people just aren't the kissing type of people, and I can understand that.
*Time skip*
Where at the party and it's been a blast so far, me and Trina have been taking shots back-to-back and goofing around playing beer pong, knowing damn well we are terrible. I toss the ball and miss, and Trina laughs out loud because we haven't made a single ball yet, As I'm laughing, I turn around and catch Andre over by the staircase kissing a girl I've never seen before. Instant anger and sadness fill me inside as tell Trina I'll be right back and make my way over to him. Without thinking, I tell the girl excuse me and step Infront of her. I shove Andre harshly and poke his chest. "Kissing's not really your fucking thing huh? You fucking asshole!" I yell as I continue shoving him up the stairs.
"Jenna, chill out, stop." He says grabbing my wrist and holding them so I can't push him anymore.
"Chill out? are you fucking serious, let the fuck go of me." I yank my wrist from his grip.
"You're not my girlfriend, you have no right to act like this, calm the fuck down, people are looking at us Jenna."
"Your right, I'm just your whore that you can come and fuck whenever you want, right? right, you piece of shit? don't ever fucking touch me or talk to me ever again!"
"You're not my whore, you're just someone I like having sex with, where adults, this is what adults do!" He yells back at me.
"Are you fucking serious? FUCK YOU!" I yell giving him one last good shove that knocks him against the stairs.
I walk out of the house hearing Andre calling my name from behind me, but I ignore it as I keep walking forward wanting to get home and lay in my bed. I hear a car pulling up next to me and hear Trina yelling my name telling me to get in the car which I do.
"How is Devin going to get home?" I ask shutting the car door, putting my seatbelt on.
"He's going to a girls house tonight, now are you going to tell me what the fuck I've missed the last 2 weeks with you and Andre?" She asks looking at me.
I try to hold my tears in, but it's no use. I start crying frantically because I'm so hurt from Andre.
"Andre and I have been hooking up, like every day the past 2 weeks, and It's gotten to the point where I have feelings for his stupid ass, so I asked him why he never kisses me and he Tell's me he just not a kissing person, which I get that, but then I catch him kissing some fucking girl and I just lost it." I say sobbing with tears streaming down my face.
"Okay that's a lot to unpack, you and Andre hooking up?! that is fucking wild." She says blowing everything else off
I give her a serious look with my sad eyes letting her know now is not the time.
"Fuck, sorry I had to get that off my chest."
Andre's POV.
"I didn't think she would get so upset dude, I thought we were just friends with benefits." I say to Devin as we are walking down the sidewalk about 20 minutes from home.
"Well now look at us, walking home and I was supposed to be going home with a girl, you're lucky your my friend." Devin jokes nudging my shoulder.
I let out a huge sigh and shove my hands in my pockets away from the cold night air. I can't help but feel bad inside for Jenna, but at the same time, we had no labels on us. I don't think I even want labels on us, I was just enjoying the sex with her, I didn't think she would get so attached.
"Bro, I'm walking with you for a reason, spit it out." Devin says snapping me out of my thoughts.
"I'm not going to be able to sleep with her anymore, I don't want her liking me more than what she already does, I feel bad for her, I feel like an asshole." I say exhaling looking over at him.
"Can I be honest with you bro?" Devin says stopping in his tracks and looking at me. I give him a nod telling him to say what he needs to say.
"Friends with benefits never stays friends with benefits bro, no one is out here having sex with the same person for 2 weeks without it turning into more, I mean unless your immune to feelings, but even I know you're not like that, you don't have any feelings for her? I mean the slightest bit?" He asks in a serious tone.
I didn't know how to answer the question, so the rest of the walk was silent, as Jenna was eating me up inside, but I really feel like she overreacted way too much. She's not my girlfriend, and I'm not her boyfriend, we were just friends fucking, and that's it. Maybe I do have feelings for her, feeling so bad for her, and constantly thinking about her.
Another 10 minutes go by, and we finally make it home and the house is quiet. I look over at Trina who is sitting out the couch and she mouths "asshole" too me and I roll my eyes at her and make my way to Jenna's door. I stand in front of it for a few to think about what I need to say before opening the door. I slowly open the door to a dark room with just enough moonlight coming in to see Jenna curled up in the bed and sniffling coming from her. I shut the door behind me and walk over to her but before I can reach the bed Jenna says.
"Get out, I told you I never want to talk to you again Andre." her voice is raspy and low from all the crying she's been doing, and it makes me feel worse.
"Jenna please, I'm sorry, I didn't know you felt this way, I really am sorry." She lays there not responding to what I said so I sit on the edge of her bed and look at her with a guilty look on my face.
"Please Jenna, at least talk to me, please." I place my hand on her leg, and she pushes my hand off her and uncovers her face from under her blanket, showing her stained face from her mascara and puffy eyes from endless crying.
"How Andre, how can you possibly fuck me for two weeks straight and not have any connection towards me, I mean you were legit spending most of your day, every day inside me, I mean fuck Andre." She says with even more tears streaming down her face.
"I don't know, honestly, I don't know how I can even answer that question, you're a beautiful girl, and I mean gorgeous. Attractive with everything you do and how you look, how you talk and when you laugh. But I'm not good for you, really. I grew up with a really rough life, I wasn't loved as a child, and now that I'm an adult, I don't know how to love others. I bounced around foster homes until I was 18, and at that point I was too old to be in foster care, I left and go into college and with the help of the state, I have no family Jenna, I don't know any better." I spill it all out to Jenna, tell her everything about me, something I never told anyone before, besides Devin because we have been best friends for years, but never a girl, never.
Jenna sits up with a different expression on her face, different from her one before, the one I caused in the first place.
"Andre, I'm sorry, I had no idea." She says placing her hand on top of mine.
"No, don't apologize, I'm the one in the wrong here, you didn't do anything wrong. I'm no good for you Jenna, you deserve someone who will love you the way you deserve, and that can't be me. I want nothing but what is the best for you, you deserve it. Goodnight Jenna." I give her hand a light squeeze before exiting her room and making my way into my room.
A/N: I'm sorry I'm ending it like this!! I have big plans for the story, New chapter coming very soon, so stay tuned, I love you all and thank you for all the support on this story, it means the world to me!!! :)
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riddles-n-games · 17 days
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To Feel, To Want
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Pairing: Avery and Jameson Summary: Another rewrite of Ch. 15 from THL but from the earlier scene that takes place in the studio before they head up to the roof. Length: Short Story Type: Rewrite
Tag List: @hathorneheiress, @whatsamongus, @averyiconthequeen, @xoxo-lenah, @charsoamerican, @thecircularlibrary
A/N: Hello! Hope you haven't been waiting too long but here is my newest rewrite. I do hope you enjoy it. It's my last one from my oldest standing drafts which means I'll take a break again so I can focus on my more original written pieces.
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    As if that thought had beckoned him toward me, Jameson came closer. “Let’s call off the bet,” he said softly.
    I whipped my head up to look at him. I searched for a tell on his face, something to let me know what angle he was playing.
    “This is big, Heiress.” If he’d been anyone else, his voice might have sounded gentle—but the Jameson Hawthorne I knew wasn’t gentle. “Big enough that neither of us needs extra motivation now. Neither of us is going to solve this alone.”
There was something undeniable about the way he said the word us, but I resisted the pull of it. “I’m at the center of this.” It would have been so easy to let myself get sucked back in. To let myself feel like we really were a team. “You need me.”
    That was what this was about. The gentle voice. Us.
    “And you don’t need anyone?” Jameson stepped forward. Despite every warning screeching in the back of my brain, when he reached out to touch me, I didn’t pull back.
    The past twelve hours had turned my entire world upside down. I needed… something. It didn’t have to mean anything. There didn’t have to be feelings involved. “Fine,” I said, my voice rough in my throat. “Let’s call off the bet.”
    I expected him to kiss me then—to take advantage of my moment of weakness, to push me back against the wall and wait for my head to angle up toward his, wait for a yes. He looked like he wanted to. I wanted it. 
    We were at a standstill and for once in my life, I didn’t know whose turn it was. His move or mine? Is this what it felt like when you were facing a wall, knowing there’s a way around it and the door is next to you but you chose to stare at the wall instead? 
    I stared at him, feeling almost helpless, glued to the spot. My eyes were stuck on his. 
    Your move or mine? The question hung in the air and I wanted an answer; demanded it. Needed and craved it all the same.
    I was desperate to feel; his lips on mine, his arms around me, just something. Something. Anything to distract me from the swell of emotions rising in me, threatening to swallow me whole. I’ve had bad days and dark weeks and I survived, so why, why did this feel like my sinking point? Like I wasn’t going to come back up for air and drown instead?
    But I knew; I wasn’t naive enough not to. My entire existence up until this moment felt like a lie; like I was the one who told it when I was actually the result of it because someone else instigated it. 
    Tears pricked at the corners of my eyes and even though I hated to look like such a mess in front of anyone, I knew it wasn’t sadness or grief making me this way. Just frustration. 
    I had plenty of it in storage from the build-up of the last few weeks and now, it was finally looking for an out. The anger would catch up to me later but right now, that wasn’t the case.  
    Something in me right now was falling apart and I just wanted that part of my mind to quiet down, to forget for a moment, to let myself go numb. I wanted to let go and still cling to something at the same time but didn’t know which I wanted more, I just knew if he gave me what I wanted it would stop hurting. 
    But, if my role to play in this Hawthorne mystery was the glass ballerina then this would be the one time I’d let the shards of glass dig into my palms. I would let only one Hawthorne experience me like this once, so long as Jameson forgot about it later on, even if that was an unrealistic reverie. 
    “-very? Heiress.” He pulled me out of the spiraling thoughts and I blinked as he came into focus. His face was concerned and his hands were hovering around my wrists. Before I could grasp what I was doing, I grabbed his forearms instinctively and held as tight as possible. He didn’t even flinch. “Heiress, talk to me.”
     It was his gentle tone that undid me. The tears I’ve barely held back before were streaming freely down my cheeks. My hands were trembling uncontrollably and in trying to stop the shaking, I gripped his arms harder. I was too out of it to even formulate a proper sentence. “Please,” I rasped. Please make this stop. Please don’t let every other clue be a life changing revelation. Please tell me not everyone is out to get me or wants me to die. Please tell me it gets better. Please kiss me. Please hold me. Please tell me some part of you actually cares. Please. 
    Jameson slowly brought his hands up and cupped my cheeks. His thumbs gently wiped away the fresh set of tears but when he tried to clear away the tear tracks with his sleeve, I couldn’t hold myself back. I sprung up on tiptoe and closed the short distance between us, practically colliding into him when I pressed my lips to his. I savored it, desperate to feel that rush of adrenaline like when we had our first kiss. But I didn’t, all I could feel instead was my increasing heart rate as he didn’t reciprocate. 
    He broke away, shaking his head. Jameson gave me a lopsided smile but it was small and sad, lacking the usual mischievousness. “You have to tell me what you want.” I blinked. What is your angle here, Jameson Hawthorne? 
    I didn’t reply and tried to kiss him again, grabbing his loosened collar to pull him down towards me but he relented. Jameson deliberately pulled his chin up and the more I struggled, the more his head went back. “Use your words.” I didn’t. 
    Unfortunately, I did have to stop for a moment to catch my breath which he took to mean as an impasse and moved one of his hands from my jaw, bringing it to the back of my head. “Just tell me what you need, Avery. Easy as that.” He twirled some strands of my hair around his finger as he said that. Then he released it and did it again. I glared at him while he simply arched a brow. He used my name. Now you’re just playing dirty. Clearly, if I was going to get what I wanted, I was going to have to do it his way, at least, that’s what he thought. 
    With one final attempt, I fiddled with the fabric of his collar as if considering what he said for a good few seconds before cupping the back of his neck, applying as much force as possible to make him lean down. He just smiled and moved out of reach again right as he plucked my hand, repositioning it in his and placing a kiss on each of my fingers. At this point I was just getting angry. 
    He didn’t react to my annoyance but leaned down and kissed my cheek, murmuring when he pulled back, “Heiress, trust me, I know what you want. I’m not doing this to make fun. But you’re not me. I need you to say it out loud. You’re not in a good place right now and I don’t want you to regret this later.” Surprisingly, Jameson looked very serious but his eyes were sincere; he meant it. 
    I huffed. He was right; I didn’t take things like this lightly and it would affect me in a way that it wouldn’t him. And as much as he’d shown a bit of maturity in the weeks since we met, he was still Jameson. Flirty, tricky, and emotionally unavailable. But then there were the moments like this which left my mind spinning again. He really was an enigma.
    I held his gaze a little longer then broke away, finding the wall suddenly more interesting. But I still felt his eyes on me, lingering, the question louder now in the silence than it had been when he asked it out loud. Sighing, I looked back at him, feeling vulnerable and embarrassed like the night at Wayback Cottage when he comforted, kissed, and scorned me all in the span of ten minutes. Quietly, I muttered, “I want you to kiss me.” 
    Jameson obliged and leaned down, tilting my head up as he softly and slowly pressed his lips to mine. So maybe he did know how to kiss a girl tentatively and gently. He just needed the motivation for it. But he knew exactly what I needed. Just like last time. My eyes closed and I leaned into him. He was firm and solid and warm. There was also the faint scent of his cologne but also a distinct smell that I just associated with. It surrounded me and all I could think was, Safe. I felt safe. 
   He broke away and gave me space to catch my breath but I was pulling him back down as I wrapped my arm around his neck with the other hand still entwined with his. I felt him smile against my lips and he shifted us, propping me up against the wall but never breaking the kiss. It was longer but still sweet. 
    When we parted, me silently panting and him only the slightest bit out of breath, he whispered, “You’re going to be okay, Heiress. We’re going to do this together.” 
    I breathed in deeply and repeated him. “I’m going to be okay. I’m not going to do this alone.” 
    “Damn straight. You’re better than okay. You’re Avery Grambs.” I rolled my eyes to which he chuckled. “Do you feel better now?” I nodded, wondering why he was whispering until I remembered Eli was in the room with us and I wanted to peek over Jameson’s shoulder but I couldn’t with how close he was to me. So that’s why he turned us. I was boxed in between Jameson and the wall, hidden from prying eyes although I’m sure my bodyguard wasn’t keen on watching us kiss. My face flamed at the thought. 
    My eyes drifted back to Jameson’s face and the playful smirk was back. “Embarrassed now, Heiress?” I rolled my eyes. 
    “Don’t start.” 
    “Oh, I’m not, just finishing what you began.” I cocked an eyebrow at him. He chuckled softly and pecked my lips once more but not before I grazed his bottom lip. “So feisty.” I snorted.
    His hand went back to my hair and he combed through the tangles, treading softly to the ends. 
We grew quiet and for some time we just stayed that way, enjoying each other’s company. I could get used to this, I thought but then waved it away. This moment was great but soon, we’d go back to the usual, whatever that was. I didn’t want to label it. But with the way he was looking at me right then, a soft look in his eyes and a little smile, I could pretend it was more.
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A/N: Hey, you made it to the end again. Congrats, you're a real trooper. I will be attempting to do a few short drabbles (much shorter than this) before I restart writing the other WIPs which I can't wait to share with you all. Reminder, as per my last fic, I announced that I would be starting a tag list and as you can see here I made good on that promise. If you're new and want me to tag you, just comment below. Catch you in the next game!
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dsireland86 · 5 months
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Take Me First PT. 2 (Never Know)
(Prequel for Noah in The Things We Could Never Change)
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"Lying Is Hard But The Truth Comes Out Anyway" The Grey
A regretful mistake, a car accident, and a baby. God didn't listen to Noah when he begged him to take him first the night of the accident. God had other plans it seemed; plans that brought Noah down to his knees cursing, crying, and praying. In time he began to believe he was nothing but a lost soul trying to find his happiness in the ugly world he lived in, until... she found him and began to return the lost parts of him, piece by piece, he'd thought he'd lost forever.
TAGS: @lma1986, @myownthoughts12, @xslavicprincess, @foliosgirl, @glitterydeputyshepherdwagon, @jilliemiw86, @sthnog, @lookwhatitcost
 “Show me you're better off without me/ Choking on every word you said, we'll see, we'll see / Don't breathe another word about me I'll leave and you can finally rest in peace, we'll see” -NEVER KNOW-
Noah,
By the time you read this, I'll be gone. You have to understand that it's better for both of us this way if I just vanish from your life and wipe your slate, your consciousness completely clean. Once you're finished with this letter, I guarantee you will hate me and loath just the thought of me. My name will become a bitter poison on your tongue and the tongues of those who will no longer be my family because of their loyalty to you. You'll never want to breathe my name, let alone any other words about me, to anyone. I'm warning you now, Noah, what I'm about to tell you is going to ruin you. It's going to break your heart so badly that you're probably going to wish you were dead. I'm sorry. I'm sorry I'm doing this to you, but it's the only way. You have to know the truth about what happened during those three days in Montana on that last tour we were on together; you deserve to know because it was the moment that everything changed for us. You're better off without me, and in time, you'll see. In time, you'll be able to rest in peace. 
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Noah:
“I didn't want to finish the letter. Knowing she was already gone was enough, and reading it, having it spelled out in front of me would’ve only made things worse. But I chose to finish it anyway but regretted the instant I did. I swear I could feel myself slowly slipping away as her words started to bring out the worst in her that I never knew existed."
I rested my forehead against the back of her shoulder.
“I'm so sorry. I can't imagine what you were feeling. Being abandoned is hard, but the lonely place it takes you to is worse.” “You would know, wouldn't you,” I said while playing with her fingers. She leaned back against my chest while sitting between my legs. Turning her head at just the right angle, she glided the tip of her nose softly along my jawline that filled with a deep yearning to be inside her again. “Not the same way you do.” I shivered when her lips left a trail of soft kisses on my skin. “Read me more, please. I want to know everything,” she urged. I sighed, and even though I really didn't want to, I knew sharing this part of my life was important for us. So, I continued.
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“Lying in between the memories choking me, and I don't know which way to go, but I'm okay to never know” -NEVER KNOW-
The night you told me the truth about cheating on me, it broke me, but not in the way you might think. I was angry, full of guilt, relief, sorrow, and regret that created a huge mess of emotions I didn’t know how to deal with. Running was my only option. I had to escape the pain of knowing how horribly I'd hurt you and you didn't even know it. Noah, you were brave enough to be honest with me about what you did. You admitted your guilt and how ashamed it made you feel. You truly believed you'd hurt me and watching the way it tore your mind and heart apart left me in agony. I wanted to tell you the truth then, but I just couldn't bring myself to, so I took the coward's way out and ran away. 
I called Jolly and cried to him. He couldn't understand anything I was saying, let alone any idea of what I was talking about, but he did his best to console me anyway. The guilt I felt, knowing what I’d done to his best friend just made everything numb and blur together. The way I was driving I didn’t see the headlights of the other vehicle in my lane. Jolly was still on the phone when I screamed right as the collision happened. That was the last thing I remembered before I woke up in the hospital. So, what is the truth that was too hard for me to tell you even though I was given the chance to say many times? Noah, I hope you're sitting down because what I'm about to say is going to be the death of whatever peace your mind had about me.
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Noah:
“Noah?” Her soft voice calling to me made me lower my head and when her hand collided with my cheek, her touch brought me back to reality. The past wasn't real, but she was, and so was the feeling of her naked body against mine. Turning herself around so that her legs were on either side of me and her arms were resting on my shoulders, she leaned in and kissed me, slipping her tongue inside my mouth little by little. She was making me so hard and I knew she could feel me between her legs, pressed tightly against that sweet soft spot of hers I loved so much. I couldn’t control the constant twitching that was happening each time she purposely pushed herself into me either.
"She knew exactly what she was doing to you, and that’s what hurt you the most. I'm sorry she hurt you,” her voice whispered in my ear before she took a little bit of it in her mouth. “Ughh, fuck baby,” I moaned, squeezing her hips tighter and tugging her closer to me. “That’s what happens,” she said, brushing her breast up against me, her perky nipples grazing across my skin, making it scream. “You let people in and they destroy you. But I won’t.” She sat back and looked at me, the look in her eyes nearly making me cum. She had me wound up so tight that I swallowed hard when she pushed herself into me again and her warm, shaky breath washed over my face. “You deserve so much more than you believe you do, Noah.” Slipping her hands beneath the waistband of my box-briefs, I lifted my bottom up and she slid them down my legs, tossing them aside, retaking her spot over me. “I’ll give you the world, if you want it,” she admitted, laying her mouth on mine and taking my lips to hers as if she owned them; she did. “The moon, the fucking stars. Anything you ask, it’s yours. I’m yours. You can have all of me,” she confessed through a shaky, tear filled voice.
I pulled her way to look at her and my heart felt like it had busted through my chest. She had tears streaming down her cheeks, but the prettiest smile on her lips. I sat up and kissed her tears away tasting their saltiness. “I want all of it,” I admitted, brushing some hair out of her face. “I want all of you, but not just what you let the world see. I want all the broken, busted up parts too; the parts that make you, you. I meant it when I said I would fight the battle for you. I would, I still will. If I have you, then you have all of me too.” She started to cry and I pulled her into me as she laid her head on my shoulder. I fucking loved this girl in my arms more than I ever thought possible. More than the girl in the letter, and that scared me.
After a few moments of silence had passed and I was about to continue reading, but the warmth from her hand found my hard cock. Slowly she  ran her hand down my shaft, then back up, the grip she had applying the perfect pressure needed to stimulate what I was dying for on the inside. I laid my head back against the couch, zoning into nothing but the feeling of what her hand was doing. The faster she went the harder her grip became and reminded me of what being inside her felt like; heaven. I found her entrance between her wet folds and quietly slipped a finger inside her warm sex enjoying the way she melted into my touch and sucked in a quick breath, followed by a beautifully moan that filled the room. I felt her wetness coat my fingers, making me feel like I had all the power over her I wanted. The truth was though, she was the one with all the power. “I need to be inside you, now.” I ordered. She didn't hesitate to obey but instead shifted enough so that her pussy was aligned perfectly with my hard length.
“Noah, look at me,” she commanded and I listened. Her eyes were vibrant and full of something indescribable, something that I could never put into words; but I felt it and I knew she did too. “I fucking love you.” It slipped out before I could stop myself and I was scared I crossed a line. But her smile took that feeling away. It was genuine, and made me feel the exact way, if not more, I felt when I first saw her. “I love you too; all of you.” She pushed into me and took all of me into her and I watched her expression change as soon as I filled her. Her tight, wet walls closed in on my throbbing cock now buried deep inside her, searching for that special spot that was going to pull all the pretty cries and moans from her that I loved to hear. I gripped her hips, sighing once she began to move slowly, with her hands placed firmly on my chest. But I wanted more and I knew she did too. “I want you to grind on me, baby, ride me till you're satisfied. Ride me till you cum.”
That seemed to be all she needed. Soon I had her crying and moaning so loudly that she dug her nails deep into my skin, squeezed me tighter with her thighs, and let my name fall from her lips like a sacred prayer. It was beautiful. She was beautiful. She pulled my hands to her small breasts, indicating to me she wanted stimulation and I all too willing obliged her. I took each nipple between my finger and thumb, squeezing them until she cried. Once hard and perky, I dragged my tongue lazily over the soft, delicate skin, circling and lapping every part until taking it in my mouth. Her moans pulled my organism closer and I knew I wasn't going to last much longer. Luckily, I didn't have too. Her hands found the back of my head, holding me in place while she fucked me slow and gently and I got her off by sucking my favorite parts of her. “Noah, baby,” she didn't finish her sentence, but she didn't have to. I looked up, grinning at the face I saw. With eyes closed, she was in perfect ecstasy. “Are you gonna cum for me, Princess.” She didn't say anything, just moaned and nodded. “Cum for me then baby, let it go and give us both what we want.”
Her lips crashed into mine and our tongues danced as she came undone all over me and I quickly followed. It wasn't loud, it wasn't messy; it was just us, falling apart for one another together quietly. It was love making in its purest form and in that moment with her I realized the difference between straight fucking with foreplay and making love and how they were very different. We weren’t each other's first. She had a fucked up ex and I had many experiences that left me feeling used. But what she and I had just shared had so many emotions involved, ones that I didn't even know I could feel anymore. She pulled them out of me somehow and allowed me to willingly feel what I had buried away. They were tangled together, knotted and rooted in the dirt of my past. But, thanks to the beautiful human in my arms, for the first time in my life I felt the difference and wasn't afraid to feel them. She made me feel so fucking alive and I loved it. 
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“Speaking in languages we can’t read, no need for you to spell it out for me/ Swallowed up and I’ spit you out, like a drug that just wouldn’t stay down" -NEVER KNOW-
Montana was beautiful, Noah, and the idea of visiting it with you was a dream come true. I'll never forget when you came home and told me that it was on the list of states the band was playing. Your excitement was contagious and the way your eyes sparkled and lit up your entire face will forever haunt me. It was one of the last times we were truly happy together. Those three days haunt me, Noah. They hold the worst, but also the best memories. So here it goes… the whole truth.
The first show day went smoothly; you remember I'm sure. We all went out and had a small celebration in that little country bar where Folio rode the mechanical bull until he bled… like seriously bled. I thought I was going to pass out seeing all the blood from his arm. The day of the second show, however, was utter chaos and hell. Everyone woke up late, the venue wasn't unlocked when we got there, and some of the equipment malfunctioned. You were miserable and because you were miserable, so was everyone else. I tried to help, but now know how worse I actually made it for you. And the moment you yelled at me in front of not just the crew but the guys too, I knew things were going to be different between us. It wasn't that you yelled at me, Noah, it was what you said that was the slap to my face. You accused me of being selfish and too self conceited to understand what you were going through, and you know what? You were right. I was, I am those things. And to prove I was, I decided to get back at you in my own way; the way I regret now more than anything. 
After storming out of the venue and turning my phone off, I found a bar away from the venue, away from every memory of you. I wanted you out of my head, but mostly out of my heart because I was hurting. So, the first guy who sat down next to me and bought me a few rounds was it. He was the one I chose to make my biggest mistake with. He took me back to his hotel room, which ironically was in the same hotel as ours, you were just one floor above me. I was too drunk to worry about anything, not even caring if the receptionist recognized me. 
Noah, I will save you the details of what I did with that man in that hotel room that night. It wasn't at all what I thought it would be, and in the end he left me hurting way more than when I started out. Not just emotionally, but physically too. Thankfully there were no marks on my body, yet, but the bruises would show the following day. I lied and said you did them to me and the look on your face was devastating. I felt like a piece of shit. Maybe I was. No, I know I was. I should burn in hell for what I did to you; what I said to you. You didn't deserve it. But the worst was yet to come when the events of the night you fucked some girl who wasn't me happened and you found out I was pregnant. Nicholas said at first you were too shocked, but when it was time for me to leave the hospital, Matt said it was all you could talk about; how you were going to be a dad and how you had so much faith that the baby would be the thing to tie us back together after your actions ruined us. It wasn't you who ruined us, Noah, it was me, but I couldn't tell you that. Not now. Not with a baby on the way. So, I kept my silence and avoided you as much as I could, using your cheating as the excuse. And I lied to you every day up until… well you know when. 
Losing the baby was never, ever the intention, that, I promise, you can believe. I never wanted any harm to come to my baby. But when I woke up last month at seventeen weeks pregnant in a pool of blood, I knew it was over. The lies could stop, the truth could come out and everything would be okay. Except it wasn't, was it? Losing the baby was too hard for you. It made you do things you regret doing and I regret watching, knowing I had the power to stop it all. I know the feeling of loss is still very raw in your heart. You're wounded and reading this letter, knowing I'm long gone, soon to be nothing but a distant memory you'd do anything to forget, is going to throw salt on that wound, but I think it's time for me to help you put your demons to rest. 
Noah, the baby…. the baby was never yours to begin with. I mean, honestly, think back to the first time we had sex after that fight. Think…. and you'll remember. If you don't let me help. You wore a condom, Noah and you filled it, but I lied to you and told you it broke because I was scared. The night I spitefully killed us in every way possible was the night I conceived another man's child. 
So, you see, none of it was your fault after all. It was mine all along. Did I feel guilt? Yes. Remorse? No. Not until now. Now that I’m walking away from you, I feel every bit of remorse possible, but it’s too late now, isn’t it. The you I knew and loved is gone and so is the girl you knew. And that’s the difference between us, Noah. You felt remorse and it made you so vulnerable. 
I hope the next girl you fall in love with is good to you. I hope she is never afraid of your darkness or the demons who dance in your eyes sometimes. I remember the time when you thought no one could ever love you if you revealed what lurks inside you. You’ve always been different, Noah, you know that and how could anyone understand that? But I hope she understands and is never afraid to follow you into your darkness so that she can learn to love the beast that’s inside. I tried to, but in the end I realized that sometimes, true love comes in the form of a loving demon, or a protective monster, or even a dark angel who sits and waits patiently for you to arrive. You are all those things Noah; and I hated you for it. I’m sorry I hated you, because now I know that you were the only one to ever, truly love me. 
With All My Love, Always, Sarah
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Noah:
I woke up, flat on my back, head off the pillow, but the blanket over top of me. As my vision cleared, Sophie was nowhere to be seen. My heart started pounding, thinking maybe she regretted last night; the things we did, the things I said. Was it all too much and she felt pressured or overwhelmed? I started to panic, running my hands over my face, trying to convince myself everything was okay, but it didn't help. I sat up, looking around for my shirt only to remember that I'd used it on Sophie, making me remember the corner I threw it in; it was still there.
I needed to find Sophie and make sure everything was good between us, especially now that she knew the truth about me and Sarah. I needed to know if she was still willing to commit herself to me, to us, with this kind of baggage attached, but first I needed a shower. My stomach suddenly hurt, the anxiety nipping away on the inside and it felt like there was a giant hole in me. I needed to fill that hole. I need my girl.
Chapter 1: The Things We Could Never Change
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palmtreesx3 · 8 months
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As my header states, I'm too old for this. But here I am anyway. If you're here you're gonna watch me embarrassingly lust over every version of Steve Harrington (who am I kidding, just Joe Keery in general) and while I mostly just react to other people's tremendously talented work, I occasionally dabble myself.
So if you are lurking, enjoy and leave some kisses 💋
(18+, don't be cunty, yada yada yada)
🔥 Spicy/Smutty 🚨 Cannon/Cannon Adjacent ❤️ Fluffy/Boyfriend-ism 😩 Angsty
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Get Off (Series) 🔥18+ - SexShop!Steve x Reader : SexShop!Robin x OC (7/9)
Summary: Steve and Robin have about had it with Hawkins, so on Robin's 25th birthday, the pair decides that there's nothing holding them there anymore and they start packing their bags. The friends move to Chicago and quickly find an apartment to call their own. As luck would have it, within hours of arriving to the city, Robin stumbles on a no-strings-attached job offer for both of them - what could be better?! Now just to break the news to Steve…. This multi part story will both explore their platonic relationship and their chaotic experience working at the sex shop together as well as their own paths of self discovery as they plant their roots in their new city and finally deal with the invisible baggage they drug along with them when they moved. Act 4 - Out Now :)
Prologue || V-Card || Act 1 || Act 2 || Act 3 || Act 4 || Act 5 || Act 6 || Epilogue
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King of Wishful Thinking (Series) ❤️ Fluffy but eventually 🔥 18+ and marked as such because I'm a hoe - Steve Harrington x Reader (2/?)
Summary: Steve has been in love with you for his entire life. He has always wanted to express his feelings and do nice things for you, but every time he tries to come up with new and creative ways to show you how much he cares, but it seems like fate is always against him. Even though he shallowly convinces himself that you’re just meant to be friends and despite these setbacks, Steve remains determined to keep trying. He still holds onto the hope that someday he'll be able to express his feelings to you and maybe, just maybe have them reciprocated. Paused but not forgotten
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1974 || 1978 || 1980 (coming soon)
Joe Keery Photo Drop Support Group A place to gather when he sends us into a tizzy. This support group was started in response to the Behind the Blinds Photo Drops but can and will be revisited anytime this man rocks our world like that again....All are welcome. Judgement Free-zone. Cake ALWAYS served.
Birthday Cake Train 🍰 A communal space to celebrate birthdays and serve up a slice of Cake....you know which kind. Join the thread when it's your turn. There's enough to go around.
Seeing Stars 🔥18+ The crew finally decides it's time to start celebrating the 4th of July again, but Steve Harrington finds he can't stop himself from staring.
A Girl Like You (PT 2 to Seeing Stars) 🔥18+ In the aftermath of the 4th, embarrassment and emotions are flying, tables turn and shit gets figured out. Read Part 1 to see how exactly we got here.
Deeper for You 🔥18+ It's your annual beach trip with the crew from Hawkins, something you've all been doing together your whole adult life after life forced everyone to part ways. You're all close, but this year, an accidental encounter in the outdoor shower makes you get a little closer with one person in particular.
Jealous Friend One Shot 🔥18+ ask Watching your friend, Steve Harrington, go on Kamakazi Mission dates over and over again was getting kind of old. You’re always there to listen, comfort and pick up the pieces but what if this time it’s just too much? What if this time you’ve had enough and something that feels a little bit like jealousy rears its ugly head?
Firefighter!Steve One Shot
Taking Care of Steve (Road Head) Blurb 🔥18+ ask
Vampy Steve Blurb ask
Fool in Love Blurb (King of Wishful Thinking inspo) ❤️
Stevie Takes Care of You When You're Sick Blurb ❤️ ask
Joe Keery as Steve Harrington Micro expressions
Steve Harrington Smells Like head cannons
Cozy Cardigan Steve (Joe Keery Dork Mag inspo) ❤️
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Ok maybe I'm being overdramatic, but please also consider reading these fics or series I feel like I'd lay down my life for because they have become a visceral part of me and changed the fabric of my being and I think about them all the time. They are all *chefs kiss* and written by amazingly talented people who also have deep Masterlists that also deliver. So wake the fuck up and read em! Again, most (okay fine, all) are 🔥 18+ ...again, because I'm a hoe
Into Open Flames 🔥😩🚨 on AO3
Midnight City 🔥 by @superblysubpar
We'll Call it Love 🔥😩 by @superblysubpar
If Tomorrow Never Comes 🔥😩🚨 by @sweetsweetjellybean
All I Really Want is You ❤️🔥 by @loveshotzz
Whatta Man (Steve's Night) 🔥 by @loveshotzz
New Years Eve (Steve & Eddie)🔥😩 by @loveshotzz
Beyond 🔥 by @abibliophobiaa
We Tried the World 🔥😩 @upsidedownwithsteve
And I Snuck in Through the Garden Gate ❤️🔥 @upsidedownwithsteve
Don't Call Me Baby 🔥😩 by @katyswrites
Aftermath (Steve & Eddie)🔥😩🚨 by @sweetsweetjellybean
Daisy 🔥 by @thyme-in-a-bubble
PSA: Don't steal my shit. Don't repost my shit. Don't steal other peoples shit. Don't use AI. Don't feed my shit into AI. Don't feed other people's shit into AI. Just come here, read about this sweet piece of a man and live on our fantasy island together in lust and in peace.
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f4iry-bell · 5 months
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Stained shirts and two seats for one | part 4
i was planning on abandoning this but anyways. there'll be one more part with that this series will be over!!!!!! yay!!!!
warning: stalker grayson :3
A month has passed since Arya and Grayson started dating officially, a month since Grayson Hawthorne started calling a girl his girlfriend. Anyone who looks at him while he is looking at her knows that this man is already falling in love with her. Everything was going well, Grayson would even describe it as perfect. Everyday he texts her or calls or goes to her apartment directly, he's staying away from Texas for her. He takes her on dates every weekend. She is very good with her words, it's reassuring for him that she let him know how much she likes him.
They were out cloud gazing in a park this weekend and it suddenly started raining. It was the type of rain Arya would want to dance with her boyfriend. And how could Grayson Hawthorne deny her request? Even if it means to get his $5000 suit wet and muddy. They slowly danced and kissed in the rain. It was the most important moment of Grayson’s life, he never wanted it to end. Her hands around his neck, his on her waist. Soft wet kisses and playful conversation. But it had to end or they both would be sick, so escorted her to his car. 
The rain was getting heavier as time passed, the hotel Grayson was staying was nearby so they headed there. He let her shower first, she came out with one of the bathrobes. Grayson kissed her forehead before going inside the bathroom. Arya wanted to get changed to something more comfortable.
“Grayson?” She called his name from outside.
“Yeah?” 
“Can I borrow one of your shirts? I don't think I can sleep in this robe” She asked.
“Of course, just grab one from the wardrobe” 
“Okay, thanks” 
The problem was there were three wardrobes. She opened the one in the middle. It had a lot of white, beige and black shirts hanging. What she also saw was a file sitting on the shelf below the hanging clothes with her name on it. Frowning, she took it out and opened it to find her whole life typed out. Her birthday, birthplace, which hospital she was born in, copy of her identity card, passport, tabs on her travels, her workplace, her home address, a whole background check that says no criminal records, it even had information about her parents.  She blinked at this unbelievable piece of file. There were even pictures of her which dated to be taken two months ago, right after she came back from London. 
A file that had every information about her. She started to panic, what kind of sick guy was she dating?
She jumped when she heard the bathroom door open and close. She held onto the file so tight. 
“Arya…” Grayson's eyes were at her hands, looking at the object she was holding.
“What the hell is this?” She asked, despite her anger she was also scared.
“I’ll explain, please don't be mad.” He begged, stepping closer to her.
She stepped back. “Don't be mad? Grayson, so you know how sick this is? A background check? Seriously? And every single information about me? What else do you know out of this file? Do you have access to my phone? My laptop? Do you read my messages?” 
“No, I wouldn't do that.” He assured.
“But you would do a background check, right?” She snapped.
“It's not— I only did it because I wanted to know what kind of person I'm getting myself involved with.” He explained.
“These pictures were taken way before we started going out!” She yelled.
“Arya, I like you. Since London, I wanted to know you, that's why…” He was unable to finish the sentence.
“You stalked me. You know you could have just asked me about me if you wanted to know anything. But I did tell you and every time I told you something, you already knew.” She said.
“I only know the things that are in this file. And I didn't stalk you.” He added. “I had a PI” He kept his head down.
“That is obsessive behaviour, Grayson” She told him.
“I'm sorry. That day in London, you were something else, so intriguing and amusing. I couldn't help it, I had to know you.” He said.
“I didn't tell my agency’s name to you in London, did I? You got it from your PI.” She was putting two and two together. 
“Yes.” His head was still facing down.
“You are sick.” She said and dropped the file down. She headed to the bathroom, Grayson didn't follow her, he wanted for her to come out. When she did, she came out wearing her wet clothes.
“What are you doing?” He asked.
“I’m leaving” She replied while grabbing her bag.
“What?” He almost stuttered. “No. Please, stay. I'm sorry. I was an obsessed freak. I know, I didn't have the PI follow you after I came here. I swear to you Arya, don't leave. I'm so sorry” He apologised as he walked towards her. 
“Don't.” She stopped him from coming any closer.
“I'm so sorry, please don't leave me. I'll do anything” He begged. 
“I need time. I can't be near you. I'm sorry” She left his suite. 
Grayson was devastated, he messed up. It was his choice to have her stalked. Why couldn't he just be normal? He kept thinking. This day was so perfect.
next part →
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jaidens · 1 year
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hi :) if you're comfortable with it, could you write daniel supporting a reader struggling with body image? i'm just having a hard time tonight being nice to myself about the way i look and it would really comfort me <3 no pressure & no worries if not since i know it can be a touchy subject ! thanks 🤍
And When I Break, It's In A Million Pieces
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pairing [s] : daniel larusso x reader
warning [s] : self-talk abt \ image | crying | my overall warning is if this topic may upset anyone in any way, you get this warning and you don't have to read it.
a/n [s] : hey sweetheart! I'm fully comfortable with anything besides obvious triggers. we all have hard nights and I want you to remember you're beautiful/handsome in every way. Now here's some Danny.
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You were trying.
That's all you recognized about your feelings.
Nobody's way of healing is the exact same as everyone else's, and that's what you told yourself. However, the damned mirror that stood in front of you, pulling you to nitpick at yourself. It started off simple, hand running across certain parts of your face that you didn't particularly enjoy about yourself.
Then it escalated to seeing spots that nobody would have noticed, but you did. Your mom would always mention how observant you were whenever you were younger. Who knew it would follow you to your middle school and highschool years of your life?
Daniel had an idea about your feelings. He caught you crying under the bleachers one day and he held you until everything felt better. That's what you wished you had right at this moment. Tears prick your vision, blurring out the figure in the mirror.
Then, it suddenly hits you, Daniel was coming over soon for a movie night. Your room is a mess with clothes you tossed on the floor. A small knock churns through your door and you speak out a quick, “Who is it?!” You hear a small cough and out follows, “Daniel, baby! I brought the snacks you wanted…!”
You smile at the door and tell him to come in, which he quickly follows and throws the various snacks and candy on your bed. He walks up behind you and runs his hands on your arms. “How are you doing? I heard your Ma say that you weren't feeling the best.” Daniel's lip gently kisses behind your ear, making you smile softly and out your head on his shoulder.
“Oh. It was nothing. I just had a small cold.” Daniel nods and you turn out of his arms to grab the remote. The TV is playing Sixteen Candles, a movie you saw with Daniel on your eighth month anniversary. Inherently, you would have squeezed into Daniel's arms and held onto him as tight as possible.
However, now how you had seen yourself, you decided to stay a few inches apart from him with your legs pulled to your chest. Thirty minutes into the movie, Daniel noticed something was off. The way you pulled your body closer together and felt the lump pull back into your throat again.
He gives you your favorite pack of candy, but you only take two bites and throw it to the side. It's unusual for you, but he shrugged it off. He knows that you might still be a little sick. He lays closer to you, head on your arm and you scratch his dark brown hair. He's paying attention to the screen and you, smiling at both whenever he looks around.
The movie ends, the credits rolling across the screen whenever he flicks your lamp on. He sits up, getting closer to you. “You seem off,” Daniel tells you, hand falling gently against your thigh, rubbing against the shorts you were clad in. You knew the real Daniel. The Daniel that held onto you and cried after Johnny ridiculed him just enough. The Daniel that went in the middle of the road to save a kitten and raised it. “Are you sure you're feeling okay? Not just sickness wise.”
Your breath hitches in your throat, and you try and swallow down the lump that makes everything feel worse. The tears that pool up again are prominent as you try to let out some words. “I—I have been having some trouble..” Quietly calls from your mouth, tears getting heavy and falling from your eyes. “Do you actually think I look good? Be honest.” You ask him, staring into the brown eyes that begin darting across your face to admire it.
“You want me to be honest?” Daniel asks while his tongue darts out to lick his lips. “I think you're the prettiest thing ever. You're hot. Definitely hot. And ya’ got these gorgeous eyes that make me swoon.” You smile at him gently and connect your lips against his parted ones. His hand falls on your neck before you both pull away. “You know, when I lived in Jersey, I used to get picked on a whole lot by this guy named Tony. I let myself get down by it and Ma would have to carry me home because I tried to punch him. Not the best idea. That was the second time I got my ass kicked by someone.”
You laugh slightly before laying further in his arms. You kiss him again, getting closer to him. “I just, compare myself to everyone else. Especially in all those magazines. I read them and see the girls with the long legs and they're as tiny as barbie dolls. I just can't help thinking that I'm not your type.” You admitted to him as you wrapped your arms against your stomach again.
“You are definitely my type. I think you're real beautiful. I always love your outfits and the way you need to stare at every item you see in the mall. You're my favorite person in the whole world. Mr. Miyagi asked me one day, “Daniel-San, have you ever been in love?” and I told him you were the one I was gonna marry, y'know.” His confession makes you melt in his arms. Daniel wasn't the best at explaining his feelings, and you had recognized that early one. So, the way he was talking was new to you.
“You’re so sweet. Always making m’ feel so good. I love you, Danny.” You tell him, feeling his arms wrap around you. “I love you too beautiful. Now, can you scratch my hair again. That makes me feel so tired.” He asks you, giving his head to you and laying in your arms.
You know you can always count on Daniel to make you feel better on bad days. However, now he knows how to take care of you better and the right things to say to you.
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