#i can tell I'm weirding them out

[silusvesuius]

steer clear of ....the illigitimate child of... nvm

[grinchwrapsupreme]

i'm still so stuck in the implications of the Captain being ONLY a Captain at his age

like Captain is the second lowest officer rank, it does not take long to reach and he got through the WHOLE WAR without being promoted which is a feat unto itself

the two options for how he got to Captain in the first place are he worked his way up to it through the ranks or (more likely (based on his flashbacks and level of education)) he entered the military as an officer which would imply that for whatever reason he didn't fight in the first war and that, for the entirety of his military career he just... never got promoted

[masonscig]

okay i kind of need to go insane about this rebecca line from book one because it's got me riled up LMAO

so, my f-mancer, flor, has the lowest stats with rebecca, at a whopping 5% so any biting dialogue option at their mom's expense is immediately smashed

to tell your mother pretty plainly "i'm good. i don't need you. you were never there for me, " and for her to say "that's not true. i've always loved you," is so? indicative of her character imo?

she doesn't listen to the detective even when they're being straight up direct with her – for me, this interaction negates any of the good rebecca's been trying to do, whether or not she thinks she's coming across as genuine in making amends. how are you going to tell your own child that they're wrong? that what they experienced (a childhood full of loneliness, loss, and forced independence) isn't the full story (your mother loved you from afar but never made the conscious effort to show it)?

it doesn't matter if rebecca was out fighting hand-to-hand combat against supernaturals that were trying to take over the world, she was *not* there for the detective. she chose to be an absent mother! that's a fact! no matter the "good" she was doing for mankind

this whole exchange bothers me so much – maybe the writing doesn't exactly line up (that happens with choice based games sometimes, so i get it) but either way it's poor timing, and adds yet another layer to the complexity of rebecca's relationship with the detective

[starflungwaddledee]

been working on answering a prompt i received in an ask the other day, and so i'm back thinking about... the Thing... 💖🎀 and thought maybe prompt doodles might help me work through this a little?

so uhhh.... if by any wild chance anyone has any ship suggestions for starstruck...??? feel free to send them through!

[detroitbecomeonline]

i just thought of the stupidest headcanon ever: deviant connor now attempts to greet hank with a hug every time ever since the chicken feed hug. he doesn't care. he's a deviant he can do what he wants. and if that means he opens his arms up for hank in the office and hank has to embarrassingly reject and swerve out the way and then get hugged from behind and then push him away-- lmao

second stupid headcanon: connor turns into a hugger after the chicken feed and he attempts to hug everyone instead of a handshake because hand = android greeting and hug = human greeting. he saw some teenage girls on the street hug each other why can't he do it. "captain fowler you wanted to speak with me?" leans in for a hug

[some-teeth-in-a-trench-coat]

I am once again daydreaming of making my own social media platform and how to make it not give a hoot about American laws (no relation to American soil, I'm European anyway) and be structurally resistant to enshitification through independence and community ownership unfortunately I am one inexperienced programmer with not much spare change to throw at such a gamble so I'm only daydreaming

[thedreadvampy]

btw about Neil Gaiman I periodically agree with the 'Neil Gaiman is annoying' stuff bc I feel like both he and Amanda Palmer seem like people who I would go insane stuck in a room with bc we have very different ideas about art and suchlike. and I also do think that the career trajectory he's on lately is cynically redoing his greatest hits and pretending that was the dream all along when it clearly was not. which is at best meh.

having said which

as far as I can tell by far the most common complaint about Neil Gaiman is "Snow, Glass, Apples is problematic/gross/it's got incest and rape and frames the child as the aggressor"

which strikes me as a weird complaint to pull out of a 40 year body of work tbh when that short story is pretty clearly coming from a place of 'how far can I push this'. like you don't have to like the story. I don't really like the story. but it is. a horror story.

like and this is the thing with particularly 90s alt horror right? a lot of the interest is in transgression and sitting in the worst possible perspective and seeing what happens if you pull those strings. like I really like Clive Barker for example but there's a good chunk of his short stories that I'm like I'm not picking up what you're putting down Clive this seems Kinda Off. but that willingness to write some trite or Bad Message horror fiction that doesn't land is imo a side effect of being willing to try writing uncomfortable and unpleasant fiction at all. which is what horror is for, among other things, it's for creating discomfort as a form of catharsis or engagement.

like I am not a huge fan of the type of sex-horror that pops up in a lot of Gaiman's work and other contemporary horror writers - to me I don't find it upsetting or horny it just ends up feeling kind of edgy and tryhard - but I'm also a bit like. it does seem like a lot of people's beef with Neil Gaiman is that In The 90s He Was A Horror Writer

and this approach to Problematic Horror in Snow, Glass, Apples I find kind of microcosmic of how The Discourse often approaches art in this kind of 1:1 way. if you write a story which seems to line up with rape apologia it can only be because you agree with it. if you write a story about transphobia you're a transphobe. if you write a story that makes me genuinely uncomfortable you're attacking me.

but artwork, especially art like horror that's not necessarily trying to provoke enjoyment as its main response, is necessarily hit and miss. and if what you're shooting for is discomfort then whether it works, falls flat or goes too far incredibly depends on your audience. and making good art - as in art that makes its audience think, art that opens the audience up to discomfort and catharsis and sticks with them and changes them - requires the space to experiment and tbh the space to fuck up. like they aren't all going to be winners and they certainly aren't all going to work for you as a singular audience.

personally I don't see the appeal of Snow, Glass, Apples, less cause it's nasty and more cause it's hack. ooh an edgy monstrous version of a fairy tale where there's lots of rape and cannibalism? you're soooo original Neil. but like. that's fine. I don't really vibe with like 70% of Neil Gaiman stuff I've read but I still like Neil Gaiman because the stuff that works for me really works for me.

idk I think there's a lot of folk on this website who shouldn't interact with horror cause they clearly aren't interested in being horrified. that's not everyone who dislikes Snow, Glass, Apples, but it's a real undercurrent to a lot of the criticism and tbh this kinda vibe is shit for art. making standout art What Is Good also requires being ready to make art which stands out for the wrong reasons. sometimes they'll be the same art to different people.

[luimagines]

The Chain with a almost god like giant titan like Creature s/o reader.

Sorry that's a mouthful!

Like, they look human but are huge and have different kind of things about them that Hylians don't have. (Also,imagine the heros are so tiny compared to their s/o. Like Sky is like telling the Chain. But their in awe of the enormous creature that sky has been gushing about 10 times a hour.)

Please 🙏

Chain with an eldritch s/o. I dig it. Like that Eldritch Zelda that went around a while back.

It's going to be in headcanon form fyi. I hope that's ok!

Masterlist

Content under the cut!

Four

If you thought that a typical s/o for the smithy would have made him smaller....

He is dwarfed by comparison

Scorpion legs, mandibles, a spiked tail and as big as a house

Four proudly presents them to the group with the biggest flourished gesture he can do

“And I love them very much.” He says proudly.

The group is all silent

They click their mandibles in nervousness. “Um... So how do you do? Link has told me much about you all in his letters.”

Sky breaks out of it first. “We’re all alright. Four speaks about you a lot as well. e just weren’t anticipating you to be so-”

“Freaky?” They say quietly, causing Four to snap his head in their direction- words of rebuttal already on his tongue.

“Big.” Sky amends. “I was going to say big... Especially when he’s so...”

Four turns back to Sky with a glare. “Say it.”

Sky huff. “Look, Wind is taller than you. I thought it would have been someone I would have been able to look in the eye when you said they were bigger than you.”

Four splutters and tries to think of a comeback

It lessens to tension and Wild and Hyrule both step forward to introduce themselves

Time and Warrior give a small bow in respect

Wind run to try and climb on top of them 

Twilight stops him before he can actually get away with it

Legend has been facepalming the entire time

His hand slides down his face slowly and he cuff Four by the side of his head. “When you say they get hungry easy it’s because you have mint on your porch. It keeps the spiders away-”

“Oh!” They perk up. “Is that why they don’t come by any more? I was wondering why it seemed like there were more bugs than usual. They’re not as filling.”

Legend gives Four a ‘I-Told-You-So’ look

Four says nothing 

Hyrule

He had no problem with it!

“Hey guys! We’re about to meet the sweetest person in this entire planet. I can’t wait for you guys to see them.”

“Slow down Traveler.” Legend laughs. “We don’t know this place as well as you do- we might not be able to keep up.”

“Honey?” A voice speaks. It’s quiet and surreal- like multiple voices speaking at once. “Is that you?”

Traveler beams. “It’s me! I’m home! Come meet my friends!”

They step out. Multiple eyes blink slowly and feathered hands come in front of them in a nervous manner. They are giant.

Legend pauses. Where would he have seen this creature before? If he has anyway...

Sky smiles pleasantly and walks up slowly. “Hello there. Link’s told us a lot about you.”

Hyrule coughs. He didn’t. He doesn’t know why Sky is lying.

Time steps forward as well. “Good to meet you. I was wondering who was taking good care of him back home.”

Hyrule flushes. This isn’t what he was expecting.

“You know what...” Wild sighs. “I can’t even say I’m surprised. Call me Wild. We’re all friends of your Link.”

They smile. “Yes... My Link... Has he been behaving himself?”

Four nods. “Yup! He’s been a great help to all of us.”

Wind and Warrior both come up next to the hero in question and clap him on the shoulders. “We adore him.”

His partner smiles gently. “We share the same sentiment then.”

Twilight hasn’t said much but he stares at Hyrule with the stare of a thousand suns.

Hyrule clears his throat and tries to ease his embarrassment. “My home is nearby. We can all go there before the storm hits.”

They nod and reach their hand out.

Hyrule takes it without hesitation.

“Let’s go then.”

Legend

Legend was a bit nervous to introduce his s/o

They were huge

With multiple arms and multiple pairs of eyes

But they were so cute

Ignoring they were twice the size of a hinox

His hinox’ anyway

Wild’s are the largest he’s ever seen

Twilight sighs exasperatedly

“Spiders again”

Legend bites his lip

Wild and Four stare, wide eyed, jaw agape and say nothing

Hyrule is instead staring at Legend and Legend doesn’t know what to make of it

Time bites the bullet and holds out his hand

Warrior and Wild follow suit without question

They all shakes hands at the same time

“Hello” They say

Sky waves with a smile

“Thank you for looking after Link.” They say softly

Legend blushes and playfully swipes at them, only annoyed at the surface

“Hey-!... I can take care of myself. ...You know that.”

“Hmm... I feel better... knowing you’re not alone anymore.”

Everyone jumps on to let them know everything is ok

Legend sighs in relief

That... went a bit better than he thought it would

Sky

A bit nervous

But mostly because he doesn’t want anyone to say anything mean

If they do, he’s throwing hands

He’s done it before he’ll do it again

“Ok, Beloved... You can come out now.” He says softly.

They step out in all their ethereal glory

There’s the size of the two story house with wings and glowing silver eyes

There’s red and blue markings on their face

Time is getting flashbacks

Warrior is also having flashbacks

Twilight is watching Time and Warrior with interest 

Wild and Legend share and look

Sudden dread and uncertainty over take them

Hyrule marches right up and sticks his hand out. “Hi.”

They smiles and shake it. “How do you do?”

Wind tilts his head. “How do you do what?”

Four shrugs and also goes to introduce himself. “Sky won’t shut up about you. You’re just as impressive as he said.”

They actually flush a little and look away. “He’s always talked a bit more than he knows what to do with. I’m sure he exaggerated a lot of things.”

Legend coughs. “I’d argue he understated a lot of things.”

Sky deadpans. “Gee, I wonder why.”

They laugh like church bells. “I can see why Link likes you all so much. Would you like a tour?”

Time

No longer cares about other people’s opinion

It’s not the boys believed him in other thing that he’s told them

So he’s kept this one close to his chest

He opens the doors to his home where you’re waiting in the living room

Time has also long given up on asking how you fit through the door

Four’s and Wild’s jaws hang wide open

Twilight actually trips over himself and falls backwards

This explains some things...but now he just has more questions

Like.. why the third eye? or the wings? and scales? and clubbed tail?

“Uh... Old Man...?”

“Oh it’s you! My boy!” They cry. “I know my babies where ever they are! I didn’t think you were serious dear!”

Time takes offense

“I told you. Of all things, this is the one you don’t believe?”

Cue Sky and Warrior looking between Twilight and Time, putting the pieces together but only becoming more confused in the process.

Legend sighs and flops in on himself.

“This might as well happen.”

Hyrule slaps him over the head

Sky bite his lip and waves a bit

He chuckles a bit out of nervousness

“We’ve heard... about you..”

“Have you?” They lean in

“Technically?”

They laugh

“It’s ok. Link doesn’t want any undue harm to come my way. He’s very protective like that. Come in! Come in! I’ll make some tea.”

Twilight

Just like how he was nervous to show his form as Wolfie, he’s actively trying to lighten the blow when the group meets his s/o

“Ok, so just so you guys know, they’re... bigger than normal... and may not be what you’re expecting.”

“Should we be scared?” Legend raises an eyebrow.

Twilight winces. “Well I would rather you not be. It would be a bit rude even if you can’t help it.” 

Time puts his hand hand on Twilight’s shoulder. “If they’re important to you, we’ll be on our best behavior. Isn’t that right boys?”

Wild grins and gives a salute.

Warrior smirks and nods.

“Who’s important to Link?” A new voice says.

All heads snap in that direction

Large antlers and fangs, scales and tethers and a few feathers coat their body

Wind and Sky stare wide eyed

Hyrule blinks and punches Legend

“Oh my..” They say

“Pleasure to meet you!” Four gathers his wits first, hand already out to shake. “Your Link has talked a lot about you. All good things.”

They flush in a way that looks abnormal. “Oh... Oh my goodness- Ok. He always does this. I’m sorry if I’m not exactly what you were expecting.”

“Nothing could have prepared us for this.” Legend blurts

Hyrule glares at him

Legend flinches away

Twilight coughs. “Guy this is __”

They wave. “...Nice to meet you.”

Time bites his lip for a moment, letting it process before he gestures to Wild. “We brought lunch if you’re willing to join us.”

“Well that sounds lovely!”

Warrior

Warrior was practically avoiding it

Like bits and pieces, he would reveal

But never about their physical appearance

So when They finally appear with antlers, wings, and fur

Warrior waits with baited breath

Time sends Warrior a knowing look that he knows he’ll pay for later

Wild is the first to say something as he eagerly introduces himself

Twilight follows suit with Wind right on his metaphorical tail

Hyrule approaches hesitantly but is polite none the less

Sky stays a bit behind as Time goes in to say hello again

Four and Legend feel like they’re seen weirder and Warrior speaks well of them enough

“Hello again Little one.” They say patting Time on the head

“Not so little anymore.”

“Still little to me.”

“So how did you and Warrior meet?” Legend cocks a hip, eyebrow raised and all.

They smile, showing their multiple canines. “He shot me.”

“I told you, I’m sorry!” Warrior groans. “That’s not exactly what happened anyway.”

They giggle. “They call you Warrior now? I wasn’t aware your war merits carried over through time.”

“It’s... not that necessarily.” He blushes.

“He’s also called the Captain.” Wind raises his hand, thinking that it would to catch their attention.

“...Strange... That’s not his position here.”

“HO-KAY! Introductions are over! Who wants lunch?” Warrior yells louder than he needs to.

His S/O is going to embarrass him badly before he leaves

That’s the plan

Wild

He sees nothing with it

He doesn’t even think that it would register as strange to the others

“Link?” They call out. “Oh Link you’re back! Thank goodness you’re alright!”

Wild perks up and snaps his head in the direction of the voice.

He runs to them

The others pause and watch

They come out and pick Wild up as if he was only a bag of grapes

“Oh , I was so worried about you! Have you been taking care of yourself like you promise? I thought you would have been away for longer.”

Wild laugh and kisses them on their nose. “I’ve been just fine. I want you to meet my new friends.”

Twilight coughs and catches their attention. He waves.

“Oh!” Their second pair of arms comes up to cover their mouth. “Oh how rude of me. How do you do?”

Legend blinks. “How do you do what?”

They giggle. It sounds like thunder and their tail flickers playfully behind them.

They set Wild down. “How are you?”

“Fantastic, all things considered.” Warrior has to crane his neck up just to look at their face. “How did you and Champion meet?”

“Oh that’s a long story-”

“Let’s go in side first.” Wild interjects, a wide smile on his face. “I can start lunch and we can all get comfortable in the living room, yeah?”

Time seems amused, if a bit perplex. “Of course, Cub. Lead the way.”

“Cub?” They turn to Wild. “That’s precious.”

“Let’s gooo...” Wild coughs. His cheeks are a but pink.

From the looks of Four, Hyrule and Wind.... they’re never going to let him live that down.

Wind 

(Not really s/o... more like best friend... maybe when they’re older but as it stands-)

Wind was going to blow their mind

His surprise is probably going to get him serious street cred

He was going to introduce them to every one and he was going to get all their reactions saved in his pictobox!

Wind stands in front of everyone, pictobox ready and tells you to come say hi

Longer than normal arms, thirty fingers, sunken eyes and moss for hair- and tall

Wind snaps the picture of his buddies

They’re going to love this later on

They already giggle and wave

Wild, Hyrule and Legend numbly wave back

“Hello!” You grin.

Time sits down

Wind grins as well and jumps onto their arm

He climbs up

“This is my friend! The one I was telling you guys about!” He says proudly. “Aren’t they cool?”

“...Very cool Sailor...” Warrior cranes his head up.

“Um.... So... how have you been?” Four tries for normal conversation. 

He tries the old friend approach.

“Oh you knooww~~ Burrowing in the sand, taking in the sun, dragging sailors underwater, having tea parties with the locals. Same old, same old.”

“What was that one you just said?”

“Taking in the sun?”

“After that.”

“The tea parties? Oh! We should have one! I was about to have lunch anyway. Why don’t you call come over? Since you’re friends with Link, we can be friends too.”

Twilight smiles tensely. “...Sure... We’d love to.”

[ectonurites]

SUPER DARK TIMES (2017) DIR KEVIN PHILLIPS

[badoccultadvice]

So like, I have been having this weird experience analyzing the Harry Potter books lately, and please indulge me while I talk about J.K. Rowling's weird writing.

My goal was simple: read the Harry Potter books to find which parts were influenced/inspired by actual magic that people do in real life. My theory was that there was a lot more magic in the earlier drafts of the books, and that she took a lot out due to fear of backlash from America's ongoing reenactment of the Satanic Panic. For instance it's quite obvious some of their magic lessons got dumbed down so that very little of what's in the books could actually be tried in real life, and I think she took out a lot of astrology.

I also wanted to do a couple errands along the way, one of which was to check and see if it's explicitly written in the books that Harry is a cis man. I'm a trans man, SO I'D KNOW. (I'm a slow reader so all I can say for now is: the FIRST book does not explicitly state Harry is cis, but if he's trans, there's some implied worldbuilding with items like the Sorting Hat that comes into play. Also I'm fairly sure the Dursleys would have gone along with him being trans because that meant Petunia could reuse Dudley's old clothes instead of having to get girl stuff. I'mma save any other explanations on the topic for a video on it.) The reason I'm doing this read-through is because I think J.K. doesn't know anything about trans people and didn't think to make sure her wizard world was trans exclusionary. AND IT TURNS OUT THAT WE TRANS MAGIC USERS HAVE A WAY OF WIGGLING INTO MOST PLACES UNDETECTED BY NORMAL MEANS.

While I was doing the re-read I encountered two sort of broad revelations:

There's a lot of old stuff in there like Latin and Greek and tradcraft stuff, but also modern magic of the more recent era... but the incorporation of modern magic cuts off somewhere before the 80s. These books read like they were written by a early 70s magician. Like they honestly read like J.K. is a magical practicioner who just didn't read any magic books written after 1972 and never discovered what Chaos Magic is, (and also, never heard of most of what happened in the Cold War). I have never found a writer, in fiction or non-fiction, more dedicated to referencing magical stuff that most magicians alive today just don't care about anymore.

J.K. Rowling's knowledge of child abuse laws and general social mores regarding treatment of children also ceased to update itself by about the 80s. I keep getting distracted by this and having to make more side-notes about corporal punishment and researching stuff like when caning was banned in England. (HInt: it was banned before Harry went to school, so in Book 1 it's fuckin weird that he assumes that Wood is the name of a cane he's about to be whipped with.) Like, this woman raised children in the modern era, she should know when canes stopped being used.

So like, when I mention that I'm doing some research in this area, this is the sort of stuff I'm reading for and the sort of stuff I'm encountering. I haven't been talking much about this journey because it seems like any time anyone brings up anything Harry Potter up whatsoever, we've got to talk about how J.K. is a terf in every other sentence. But like, y'all: I hope you slow down and re-read the books, because J.K. Rowling is a terf who is also a child abuse apologist and normalizer. She is a terf who is also a horrible fat-shamer. She is a terf who is also an ableist with a huge problem writing about mental illness. And she's a terf who's also a sexist who undermines feminism with her actual writing of female characters.

And I honestly think she double and triples down on the terf stuff so that people will only talk about that. I think it's worth talking about the fact that not only is she an awful person in the terf way, but like, every other way imaginable too. I think it's worth talking about the fact that with all the obvious biases she has, the group she CHOOSES to publicly marginaiize is trans women, and I think she makes that choice because she thinks that she'll get more allies that way. That if she wore all of her issues on her sleeve like she wears the terfness, that she'd lose a lot of allies, that a lot of prestigious charities would stop having anything to do with her. That she uses the identity of "terf" as a shield because she knows that certain people will protect a terf, and she does this specifically so people won't notice how much of a sexist, abuse apologist, ableist, fatphobe etc she ALSO is. Opinions that could lose her a lot of money and clout if people remember them enough.

She's trying to pick on who she thinks is the most unpopular kid in the class out of the hopes that the bullies in class will be her friends instead of pile up on her, but if the bullies knew what she really thought of them, THEY wouldn't even be her friends.

Also like... I just want someone else to read the actual words in these books and see what fucked-up choices she made as a writer. I think a LOT of people remembering these books are actually remembering the movies, which are way more different from the books than you might expect.

[existencebringsonlypain]

I go by she/her because that's what I'm used to, but gender isn't really something that important or meaningful to me personally. I use they/them when referring to myself, but I have no problem with others using any other pronouns (though I'm not used to neopronouns, so perhaps not those).

this could probably be referred to as agender.

which means...

I am a 𝗤𝗨𝗜𝗡𝗧𝗨𝗣𝗟𝗘 𝗔 𝗕𝗔𝗧𝗧𝗘𝗥𝗬

[da-proti-toku-grem]

why can't anyone understand that everyone is different and not everyone likes the same things and that it's completely okay AND normal for someone not to like going out and preferring to stay at home :/

[byanyan]

byan absolutely coating themself in body glitter to cheer themself up when they're sad, send post

[coquelicoq]

real-life adulting, man. i'm still my ex's emergency contact 6.5 years after we broke up and he just gave me his new girlfriend's phone number so that i can contact her if something happens to him. this is in lieu of making her his emergency contact, which may seem like it would make more sense, except that he hasn't told his parents about her. so i get to be the emergency contact who then would contact both the girlfriend and the parents. this all makes total sense to me despite the fact that i don't even live in his city. it's whatever! we've known each other a long time!!

[cillyscribbles]

i love you broken speech i love you heavy accents i love you regional dialects i love you pidgins i love you sociolinguistics i love you beginner speakers i love you interjections i love you language

[no-one-hears-me]

people need to be more comfortable expressing love and affection with friends