#i can’t stand the thought that my life will only ever be visiting the city

[ddaengju]

currently daydreaming about living in manhattan again. about how my free time could be spent wandering around window shopping or reading at a park. finding cute cafés and bookstores. just really absorbing the sounds of the city finally feeling content.

[sansaorgana]

hii 😊 can you please write benny x yn where she thinks he’s a player so she doesn’t want to give him a chance and go on a date with someone else and that drives him crazy and he does everything for her to see him differently, even asks kathy to put in a good word for him

hi! 💝 I know you sent it like 2 hours ago – I swear, I am not insane but I was itching so badly to write something about Benny that... it's already here 👀 as much as I adore the fics with innocent, sweet Readers – my Reader talks back 😇🤭 I hope it's fine 😘

[ I haven't abandoned the three requests from my inbox from the last time, I promise ]

requests for benny are open 🥺🎀

Benny Cross was an insufferable guy. He was showing up at your diner nearly every day and always asking for the same thing with the same smug smile on his pretty full lips – and always getting your annoyed eye-rolls each time. Yeah, he was pretty and you wouldn’t deny that. And yeah, you could see why so many girls saw the appeal. Bad boys were in fashion now… Well, actually, where had they not been? But you didn’t want to end up as a girl in trouble. Perhaps you were just an ordinary waitress but you still didn’t want to ruin your life for a player. And you couldn’t understand why he wanted you so badly.

“I think it’s because you turned him down,” Kathy explained to you the other day. She was your friend and recently she had also been strangely associated with Benny’s motorbike gang – The Vandals. Ever since her breakup, you could not recognise her, honestly.

“I turned him down, exactly,” you emphasised. “Why can’t guys learn that no means no?” You sighed.

“Oh, please, it must feel… Flattering to be chased by a guy like Benny, right?” Kathy giggled and you looked away, trying not to reveal that yeah, she was right.

“Listen, I just don’t want to end up like my cousin. She had a one night stand with this bad boy at college and guess what? She had to drop out, now she’s a single baby mama and the guy? God only knows where. Some say he married another chick in Nevada,” you explained to Kathy.

“But you’re not in college,” she pointed out as her eyes widened and you just rolled your eyes.

Jesus, what was going on with her these days?

You couldn't know that it was Benny himself telling her to "spread the propaganda" so you'd be more willing to finally agree to go out with him. You couldn't know that you were driving this man crazy – driving him crazier than his motorbike. He would wake up at night all sweaty and all he could think about was you.

You were a tough cookie and you were a challenge – that was for sure. But Benny knew it was more than that. He already knew that his desire would not disappear after claiming you. In fact, it would only grow once he'd get a taste. He was serious about you and he was desperate for you to see it.

When Marcus Lane asked you out, you were speechless. You were walking out of a flower store with a fresh bouquet to put on your grandfather’s grave and he whistled at you.

You turned around and raised an eyebrow at the guy leaning on his car. And God, what a car that was… A shiny, black Cadillac that made your eyes sparkle.

“Hi!” You waved at him. “You’re back from college,” you pointed out.

“Yeah,” he nodded at you and lit a cigarette. He offered you one but you shook your head. “Couldn’t wait to visit my neighbourhood. I’m staying with my ma until the end of summer,” he explained. “Then I got a job for myself in New York City,” he bragged so casually.

You had always thought he was full of himself and full of shit, too, but out of all the guys in your high school year he had been the one who would succeed most likely. Apparently, it was true. He was going places.

“And how’s Camilla?” You asked him.

“We broke up,” he winced. “What you doing tonight?”

You blinked a few times and fixed your skirt. Marcus Lane asking you out?

“Nothin’,” you answered and tilted your head.

“Wanna go and see a picture?” Marcus asked.

“Yeah!” You nodded, not even asking what picture.

“Still living with your ma?”

“Yeah,” you answered.

“I’ll pick you up at six,” he winked at you and you only nodded at him before walking away, not being able to hide a smile.

On your way back from the graveyard, you stopped by the laundry to tell Kathy the news but she didn’t look excited.

“He’s a knobhead, isn’t he? Always has been,” she shook her head.

“Wow, gee, thanks for being happy for me! You know he’s goin’ places and… He’s gonna be somebody,” you couldn’t help a grin.

“Don’t even start,” Kathy put her hands on her hips but you kept on a dreamy expression, so she snapped her fingers right in front of your face. “Guys like Marcus Lane do not date girls like us, wake up.”

“Why would he ask me out then?” You got defensive because your feelings and pride were hurt – mostly because you had a feeling Kathy was right.

“Because he’s back for the summer and bored? He saw you and thought he could play with you for a while before he leaves forever? Because he thinks a silly girl he remembers from high school might be an easy fuck for the summer?” Kathy asked and asked as your anxiety grew.

“Wow, thanks,” you got angry because you hated how right she could be. And sometimes you hated how honest she was instead of feeding your delusions. “I’m going out with him tonight and I’m not gonna sleep with him,” you told her before walking out to go back home and prepare for the night.

You wore a red polka dot top and tight jeans for the date instead of a dress. Marcus didn’t comment but he looked a little disappointed and you could see that on his face. He kept staring at your thighs as he drove you to the cinema, which increased your anxiety that Kathy could had been right indeed… More than you had expected.

You went to see Bonnie and Clyde and after the movie, Marcus insisted on taking you to a club in the neighbourhood. It was one of those places you would never go to alone but with a man around, you felt safer. At least you should feel this way. But something about Marcus was not right. Why would a proper guy like him even want to take you to a club like that? Perhaps because he was seeing you as a girl like that. You didn’t disagree, though. The idea of getting free drinks was tempting.

“Looks like some of those dirty bums have a meeting here tonight,” he murmured to himself as you walked inside and you sighed at the sight of The Vandals themselves.

The whole place was full of cigarette smoke and it stank of sweat, leather and grease.

“I hate those punks,” Marcus winced. “Sit here, I’ll get us something to drink,” he winked at you as he sat you down by one of the tables and you nodded,

He walked away, without even asking you what you wanted. You looked around, feeling out of place and then you spotted him… Benny Cross by the pool table. You quickly looked the other way but he glanced in your direction and smirked.

You pretended to be very fascinated by the posters on the wall but he sat by the table next to yours and kept grinning at you with his flashy smile, his muscles all on display as he rested his arms on the chair’s backrest.

Seeing you there, it made his heart skip a beat. And those tight blue jeans, that red top... Benny was smug for a moment, thinking that you finally decided to hang out with him. He had been inviting you to this club many times before.

However, he quickly realised that you weren' there alone. And the guy you came with made him feel sick in his stomach. Not only because he looked like a typical piece of shit that would take advantage of a girl like you... But also because this guy represented everything that Benny was not. And it was making him feel insecure at the moment. Of course your standards were higher than a guy like him. That was one of the reasons why he liked you so much.

Still, he decided to play his little game and annoy you a little.

Marcus came back with two drinks in his hand and he looked Benny up and down before placing a drink in front of you.

“That punk bothering you?” He asked – quite bravely, you had to admit. But Benny remained the same as if he was a statue.

“For weeks now,” you chuckled and watched Marcus take a seat in front of you, still glancing angrily at Benny on your right. 

“Is he stupid or somethin’?” Marcus asked.

“It’s fine. Let’s just pretend he’s not here,” you shrugged your arms.

In fact, you enjoyed it. And you wanted to pretend to like Marcus more than you did so Benny would finally realise you were not interested.

Still… You couldn’t help an odd feeling of safety now when he was sitting next to you and some part of you didn’t want him to walk away and leave you alone with Marcus.

“So, what do you think about the movie?” Marcus asked and sipped on his drink as you sipped on yours. Benny raised an eyebrow at you.

“We were in the cinema to watch Bonnie and Clyde,” you informed him quickly as if he was in the audience and you were an actress in the theatre but he was late and you wanted him to catch on. He nodded his head like a little boy and Marcus gritted his teeth. “Well,” you addressed your date now as you fixed your hair nonchalantly. “I adored it. And Warren Beatty was beautiful as always.”

“I don’t like him,” Marcus commented. “And I didn’t like the movie much. My favourite part was when they got killed.”

“Why?” You asked. It was already getting difficult to pretend to like him. And Benny seemed to be interested by his answer too – he tilted his head.

“Because they were outlaws and a couple of twisted psychos!” Marcus got irritated – at Benny still being there and at you asking such silly questions with such obvious answers.

“Yeah, they were but there’s also some romanticism to it, don’t you think? That’s why they made a movie about them. And why did you even go to see a movie about people you despise so much?” You asked and sipped on your drink again.

“You can’t be serious. There’s nothing romantic about murdering people,” Marcus started sounding very patronising and you suddenly realised that Kathy had been right. So, so much. You were a silly girl in his eyes.

“Murdering – no. But the life they had. The love, the freedom on the road,” you tried to explain.

“You want freedom on the road? Ask one of those bums here to show you,” Marcus laughed with irony and he squinted his eyes at Benny. “What you still doing here, punk? How can I get it into your thick head that you’re not a part of this conversation? It’s my date,” he scoffed.

“It’s my girl,” Benny leaned back with a smug smile and your heart skipped a beat.

Usually, when he’d call you that, you would get angry. But now, when Marcus had been annoying you for the whole evening, you actually enjoyed that. Because Marcus’ face was priceless. He looked at you with disgust.

“Is this true?” He asked you. “What the hell is going on?”

But before you could answer, some drunk and loud biker entered the club loudly as he laughed out loud.

“Fuck, I’ve scratched some Cadillac in the front!” He announced and sat by the counter to order beer. You couldn’t help but chuckle at that and Marcus’ face went as red as tomato.

He stood up rapidly, gave you a furious look and then ran outside to check on his beloved car, surely. Not caring much about the fact he was leaving you alone with dangerous men swarming around.

“So…” Benny started lazily as he licked his lips before looking you up and down. “That’s your type?” He pointed his thumb at the door Marcus had just left through. “That why you didn’t want me to take you out?”

“Why did you do that?” You asked, genuinely and his face got serious now.

“I saw you sittin’ here all alone, for a moment I thought… You came here for me,” he admitted with a laugh. “Then I saw that guy and I thought to myself: Jesus, what an asshole. So, I wanted to watch,” he shrugged his arms and you couldn’t help but stare at the flexing muscles and all the tattoos.

“He’s a proper guy. Graduated from college and with a job waiting for him in New York City,” you explained.

“But you’re not a proper girl,” Benny pointed out with a grin and you suddenly got a flashback of Kathy telling you the same thing – that you were just a silly girl for Marcus, just an easy fuck for the summer… 

You stood up rapidly and Benny looked up with a confused look on his face but you ignored him and left the club, hoping Marcus was still there and you could explain to him that you weren’t Benny’s girl… Maybe he’d drive you home?

But Marcus wasn’t there anymore. The only vehicles in the parking lot were motorbikes. You sighed and started walking in the direction of the bus stop but the door opened behind you. You heard heavy footsteps and then the sound of lighting a cigarette. Turning around slightly, you spotted Benny following you.

“Just wanted to point out that proper girls don’t find Bonnie and Clyde romantic,” with a few big steps he was now walking next to you.

“It’s not the murdering aspect, gee, why do I have to explain it so many times?” You got irritated.

“I didn’t say anything ‘bout it. You said something about the freedom and the road. You ever been on the open road like that?” Benny asked and you already knew what he wanted to propose because he had been mentioning it many times before while flirting with you at the diner.

“Fine,” you rolled your eyes. “I need a ride home,” you admitted and bit on your lower lip. “And no, I’ve never been. On the open road, I mean,” you added, feeling your cheeks heating up.

Benny didn’t say anything, he only nodded before throwing his cigarette on the ground and walking away to jump on his motorbike. He started the engine and patiently waited for you to finally join him. Feeling the rush of adrenaline going through your body, you clumsily sat behind him and he made the engine roar like a lion – a very sexy sound, you had to admit – but he didn’t start driving. You realised he was giving you a signal to hold onto something before he would drive away. It was considerate of him, you had to admit. Other guys would just drive away and laugh at your squealing. But Benny wanted you to be safe and for the second time on that night you realised that he was making you feel safe. Safer than a proper guy like Marcus – for sure. And you just didn’t know what to do with this information.

You wrapped your arms around his waist, told him your address and that was when the engine roared again but this time he drove away.

And God, something broke inside of you that moment. It was as if your brain chemistry changed completely. The speed, the wind in your hair, the freedom – this odd feeling that he could take you anywhere like this and you would go with him… To the point that when you spotted him taking a turn that led to your street, you nearly felt disappointed that he wasn’t “kidnapping” you. Perhaps in this moment you understood your cousin even – why had it been so tempting to risk everything for a handsome bad boy.

Benny parked the motorbike in front of your house and you could already spot your mum standing by the window upstairs and looking out through the curtain. You chuckled at the realisation you would have to explain to her how your date with Marcus ended with a guy like Benny taking you home.

“Thanks,” you only said as you got off the bike, still clinging to his leather jacket to make sure you wouldn’t trip and fall. You were a little breathless after that ride.

“And? What do you think?” He asked as he raised an eyebrow.

“It was… Okay,” you grinned, not wanting to give him satisfaction.

“Why do you tease me so much?” Benny sighed.

He was done with playing for now. He just wanted to know the answer. Perhaps it would finally make him give up. Or perhaps it would educate him on the matter how to flirt with you better. Either way, he just wanted the truth.

“Why do you insist so much? I mean, I ain’t nothing special to chase me around for weeks,” you shrugged your arms. “And don’t get me wrong – or actually do get me wrong, the hell do I care? – but I don’t want to be just another number in your book, Benny,” you explained and Benny thought to himself that he wished you could see yourself through his eyes.

“You’re a whole book, kitty,” he winked at you and you couldn’t help but chuckle at that. Sometimes his flirting had this effect on you whether you liked it or not. “And I can’t wait to read it all,” he added, encouraged by your reaction.

“You can read?” You asked, teasingly.

“I’m full of surprises,” he smirked.

“That I see,” you laughed. “Um… I should go now… My ma’s watching us.”

“I can see,” Benny nodded and looked up at the window upstairs. He waved his hand and you grabbed him by his wrist to pull it down.

“Stop it!” You kept laughing at him and then you realised your face was only a few inches away from his as he was still sitting on his motorbike, ready to drive away any given moment.

A short moment of silence occurred between you two and you just kept staring into each other’s eyes as playful smiles disappeared from your faces. You swallowed thickly and fixed his jacket, not knowing what to do with your hands.

“You have a shift tomorrow?” He broke the silence.

“In the evening,” you nodded.

“So… See you?” Benny asked, unsurely.

“See you,” you smiled at him and he smiled back, relieved. “And hey, thanks for… For being there for me when I was with the… With the asshole,” you lowered your voice and took a step back to give him space now – finally.

“No need to thank me,” he shrugged his arms. “It’s just the thing I do, ain’t it?”

You furrowed your brows at those words.

“Protectin’ my girl,” he winked at you and the engine roared, making you take a few more steps back. And then he drove away – just like that.

Shaking your head and hugging your own self to feel warmer, you walked to the front door of your house, biting on your lip and not being able to help a chuckle.

Apparently, Benny had already decided that you were his girl. And, apparently – you enjoyed it.

MASTERLIST || BENNY MASTERLIST

[oliwrites]

Eavesdrop

relationship: loki x fem!reader

genre: smut

summary: loki cant help but overhear your conversation with natasha

warnings: smut (18+) unprotected piv, fingering, thigh riding, squirting, soft dom loki??, multiple orgasms, loki being nosy

“I dunno, Nat… I love him to death, I really do… it’s just…” You say as you run your fingers through your hair. You didn’t like the idea of talking ‘bad’ about Loki behind his back, but this is the only way to get the emotions and thoughts off your chest.

“What is it? Stop beating around the bush! C’mon, I’m good at keeping secrets” Natasha replied, sipping on her beer.

“It’s kind of TMI but—”

“Oh please, TMI is nothing in this friendship and you know it, just spit it out!”

“Well… when Loki and I get… y’know… everything starts out great, but he just gets all soft and vanilla-y and I just wanna—” You start to explain, but stop when what you really want to say gets caught in the back of your throat.

What you and Natasha didn’t know is that Loki had walked out of the bedroom. His ears perked when he heard you say his name, so he walked towards Natasha’s room and listened in.

“Go on…” Natasha said

“Well… when we get frisky… he gets all soft and shit… like all mushy and gushy. Don’t get me wrong, I love it when he’s sweet to me… but I really just wanna be fucked. Not ‘made love to’ but ‘fucked so hard I can’t walk’ y’know?” I explain, a feeling of guilt washing over me as I finally say it.

“Have you tried bringing it up to him?”

“No… I want to, but I just don’t know how or when”

Loki frowned. Was he really boring you that much? You seemed pretty into it when the two of you were in action.

“I mean, when Bruce and I first started out, he was all mushy and stuff, all up until I sat him down in his bedroom and just told him how I felt. Ever since he’s pretty much been Hulk smashing me,” Natasha explained. I roll my eyes at her ‘Hulk smash’ comment

“What if I hurt his feelings?”

“He literally terrorized the city of New York and Stüggart, killed 80 people in 2 days, almost killed the entirety of the Frost Giant race, and faked his death 2 times. I don’t think he’ll be offended. Honestly, he might be more offended if you don’t tell him,” Natasha explained.

“But—”

“No buts, you’re literally the love of his life, and he would probably do anything to make you happy. Just trust me, babe, Loki isn’t going to be offended or mad, just communicate,” Natasha cut you off

Loki agreed silently. Natasha was right. He wasn’t offended or upset. He would climb the highest mountains and cut through every forest just go make you happy, if you asked. He decided to gather a plan, and he walked back into his room.

“You’re right. Thank you, Nat,” I smile and start to stand up, grabbing my beer bottle, and taking another drink of it, “I’m gonna go talk to him about it,” you smile, trying to ignore the anxiety bubbling within your stomach.

“I would say tell me how it goes, but I’m sure I’ll be able to tell if you have a limp tomorrow or not,” Nat snorted, you flipped her off playfully and started to walk out of the room.

When you entered the hallway, you heard your phone buzz. You took it out of your pocket and saw a text from Loki.

Loki: come visit me if you can, my little dove

You smile at his text. The nickname “little dove” always made your heart flutter. You pocket your phone and walk towards Loki’s room. You don’t even bother knocking, considering he was expecting you.

What you weren’t expecting was Loki to practically jump you the second you walked in.

He closed the door and pressed you firmly against it, kissing you hungrily as he groped your breasts without care. It took you by surprise, but you quickly melted into the kiss, kissing him back just as roughly.

Your guys’ tongue and teeth clashed together as he guided you to his bed, pushing you down onto it, before removing his shirt, and hastily removing your sweatpants and tossing them to the side. Before he flipped you over, setting you on his thigh

“Ride me.” He commanded, leaving no room for discussion. You blush and move your hand to the string of his sweatpants, “Not there,” he said simply.

You blush before experimentally rubbing your panty-clad cunt against his thigh. You let out a shaky moan at the new feeling. Loki growled before he started bouncing his leg. You let out a surprised, but aroused shriek, stopping the movement of your hips.

You let out another shriek when you felt his hand come down harshly on your ass.

“Did I say you could stop?” He asked in a serious tone. You shake your head no, “then keep going,” He said simply, before he started to bounce his leg again.

You continue to grind down on him as he bounce his leg. The feeling of cotton against your clit had you almost screaming as you continued to buck down against his thigh.

“Loki, I—” You started, before you cut yourself off with another moan.

“Soak me,” He said, grabbing your hips and pushing you down harder against his thigh.

Your whole body quivered as your eyes rolled to the back of your head. Your ears started to ring as you soaked his thigh completely, your juices squirting all over him.

He gave you no time to recover before he flipped you over and ripped your panties off and shoving two fingers inside of you, going at a rapid pace.

“Oh gods, Loki!” You screamed out, arching your back off the bed as his fingers drilled into you.

“You wanted to be fucked, hm? Oh I’ll make sure you can’t walk tomorrow…” He said huskily, before going down and attaching his lips to your clit, sucking it harshly.

His words did not process in your mind, instead you screamed out his name and tangled your fingers into his hair.

He curled his fingers at just the right spot and you came again, soaking his face, fingers, and the bedsheets below you as your arousal sprayed out of you once again.

Loki stood up and took off his sweatpants and boxer before flipping you over so your ass is in the air. Without warning he plunged into you, fucking you at a breakneck pace.

“Is this what you wanted, hm? You wanted to be fucked? Treated like a toy?” Loki growled, before slapping your ass harshly as he continued to drill into your abused hole.

“Yes! Fuck, Loki!” You screamed out, grinding back into his hips, meeting each of his thrusts. The words he said remained incoherent, as, lack for better words, he fucked your brains out.

He grabbed a handful of your hair and tugged it back, using it as leverage to fuck you even deeper. You gripped onto the bedsheets for dear life as he pummeled you with his cock.

He grunted as he felt his orgasm approaching, he reached forward, circling your clit at a rapid pace, causing you to scream out his name.

Your orgasm was approaching quickly as he fucked you swiftly. You tried to warn him, but were caught off by your orgasm as if ripped through your body.

You screamed out in sheer pleasure as you came on his cock. Your orgasm triggered his and he thrusted as deep as he could, spilling his seed deep inside of your quim.

He laid down next to you and looked at you with pure love in his eyes. You adjusted and laid down as well, looking at him.

“I actually wanted to talk—” You started, before being cut off by Loki

“You wanted to be fucked, not made love to… I overheard you and the Black Widow talking,” Loki said with a smile, “I hope I was able to fulfill your dreams,”

“Mmm… maybe another round or so could really fulfill my dreams” You smirked before crawling on top of Loki, starting yet another round

~ The Next Morning ~

You woke up in Loki’s bed, with Loki still sleeping peacefully next to you. You smile and decide to get up and head out to the kitchen for coffee.

You walked down the hallway into the Avengers common area where Natasha sat, drinking her own coffee. Natasha laughed at your limp as you hobbled over to the kitchen

“Oh shut the fuck up”

—

hayyy sorry for not posting in foreverrrr but i got bombarded with school, work, and family issues, and i haven’t really had the time to write something (even something small) and i also have officially hit a good ‘ol writers block!! if you have any requests please lmk and i will write them!!!

[bedsyandco]

𓂃 ࣪ ˖ 𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐅𝐑𝐈𝐄𝐍𝐃 𝐉𝐀𝐂𝐊 𝐇𝐄𝐀𝐃𝐂𝐀𝐍𝐎𝐍𝐒 . . .

( 𝒔 ) ummary , just some thoughts I had about bf!jack

( 𝒘 ) arnings , some are nsfw! so readers have to be 18+

( 𝒏 ) ote , I know I’ve been a little absent lately. I’ve had a lot of unexpected things going on but i’m slowly making my way back. thank you for being patient <3

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who loves having a girlfriend. he loves doing the little things. getting you flowers when he goes to the store. buying you a gift when he goes on a road trip from the city he visited. posting photos of you on his story with a cringey “I miss you” caption when he goes on long roadies because he’s a certified simp.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ bf!jack who doesn’t tolerate when anyone talks bad about you or disrespects your relationship. he goes through his instagram comments regularly and deletes the ones talking bad about you.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who loves when you do anything that has to do with hockey. whether that is watching it with him and luke on the couch , skating with them at family skates or playing mini sticks with them in the summer. sitting in the stands or in the family box wearing his jersey. or even just texting him “good game” after road games means a lot to him. he adores that you try to appreciate and understand something that is such a big part of his life and his family.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who is so appreciative of the fact that you’re so understanding when it comes to his chaotic schedule. and he always makes sure to make up for lost time when the hockey schedule gets a bit busy. surprising you with lunch at work. or arranging spontaneous dates.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who is surprisingly a bit insecure and afraid of the fact that the thing he loves doing so much may be the reason he doesn’t keep a long term relationship or the reason he attracts the wrong kind of girls. the kind that is only after his status and money and not him. which is why he’s so grateful to have met you because he knows you love him for who he is and if it all disappeared tomorrow , you’d still be there.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who can’t help but have the biggest smile on his face when he sees you interact with his brothers. finding out you send quinn updates on him and luke just to ease the oldest hughes’ older brother anxieties. or when you spend hours on the couch with luke talking about how he’s adapting to the league and how it’s okay to miss everything back home. I just know he gets so giddy that everyone in his family from grandmas to cousins absolutely adore you.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who , despite feeling secure in your relationship , does get jealous rather easily and appreciates that you’re patient with him and provide reassurance instead of getting upset about it

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who has a bit of a hard time with healthy communication at the start of your relationship. throwing petty, sassy and dry remarks your way. but it only happens once or twice before you tell him how you feel about it before he starts to change the way he approaches conflict with you because he genuinely does care about your feelings and why you’re upset and doesn’t ever want to disrespect you by treating you poorly even if he was mad in the moment.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who isn’t surprised , and can’t even be annoyed , about the fact that his friends are instantly enamoured with you the second you show up at the lake house. he thoroughly enjoys the teasing remarks the boys throw his way the entire summer and is more than happy when he walks in on you having a group video call with trevor and cole over the holidays. you just fit into every section of his life so well from his family to his friends and it’s all he ever could have asked for in a partner.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ is a bit of a clinger and is glued to his phone when he’s away from you. texting you the most random updates about where he is, what he’s doing, who he’s with. telling you that he misses you about a hundred times. refusing to go to bed unless he’s called you and said goodnight.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who is very handsy all the time. his hands constantly wanders to places deemed inappropriate in public. especially when he’s drunk and you guys are out with the guys. his hands are wandering all over, placing little kisses on your neck, shoulders, wherever he can reach. whispering in your ear about how you guys should go home.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who loves fucking you from behind while you’re wearing his jersey. it makes him go crazy. there’s just something about it that sates the possessive side of him so much when he sees it. and seeing it while he’s taking you from behind. the view is his favourite for sure. second to your pretty face of course.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who loves cumming on you. On your face, ass, boobs. Just loves seeing you all messy for him.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who gets a little turned on when you get possessive of him. Kissing his neck with lipstick on, he won’t wipe it off, he’d wear it happily. he just thinks it’s hot when you get possessive over him. and his heart can’t help but do somersaults whenever you show it , especially in public. like seeing you get all pouty and move closer to him when the waitress flirts with him. he’d just press a kiss your jaw and whisper “m’all yours baby” with a little amused grin.

ᡴꪫ ࣳ ꒰ 𝐛𝐟!𝐣𝐚𝐜𝐤 ꒱ who is your biggest hype man on socials. commenting all sorts of thirsty things on your posts or reposting them on his story with an emoji or a “sheesh”

[jaylver]

BACK TO DECEMBER — P.JS

synopsis: finding closure by meeting your ex somehow only brought you back to the night in december where you broke his heart. it was then you realised how much you wished to go back and fix everything, but you can’t. 

pairings: non-idol!jay x afab!reader

genre: angst, exes (to friends?), pining, slight rekindling

warning(s): none

wc: 1.3k

a/n: happy december! it's going to be a depressive december where i write angsty christmas related stuff AHAHA. hope you'd enjoy this one! apologies in advance for any mistakes since i wrote this in one shot lawl. as always, please leave a feedback and reblogs are greatly appreciated! muah xx

masterlist | © jaylver all rights reserved.

December. 

The blinding white snow and festive season all around that should’ve given you comfort only haunted you. The cold air didn’t compare to the feeling of how your heart felt as you stood outside the cafe. A scarf wrapped around your neck wasn’t enough to stop you from shaking a little, not knowing if it was the nerves or the cold.

The sound of the bell clinking signalled your appearance in the cafe. Warmth spread through you at once, the cheery atmosphere inside was the contrary to the chilliness outside, and it somehow made you feel a little more relieved. However, not completely relieved when you stepped closer to the table where he sat., eventually standing in front of him, watching him slowly looking up from his phone.

“Jong Seong,”

Your past lover stared back at you, the look on his face was indescribable. He seemed as if he had seen a ghost, most likely the ghost of his past. He was still the same, almost unchanging excluding the slight difference in hairstyle. It was the same as seeing him on your last night together. 

“Y/N, hey,” he visibly swallowed, the grip on his phone also tightening. 

You sat on the chair opposite him, noticing a cup of coffee already ordered and placed in front of you. Jay might’ve realised the look of confusion on your face, offering an explanation. “I ordered a latte for you. It’s your go-to order anyway,”

“Oh,” You paused. He remembered your order. After those times, he still kept them in mind. How could he? “Thank you, I’ll pay you—”

“It’s on me, don’t worry,” The same words he would say every time he bought you coffee, the exact actions where he waved his hands and shook his head. They were all identical.

“Alright. Thank you, again,” you managed a small smile, suddenly wishing you hadn’t asked him to meet you in the first place. “I’m so glad you made time to see me,”

“It’s no problem. I’m back to visit my family anyway, I’ll be free,” the fact that he had moved away and gotten another job in a different city right after your break up would always pinch your heart. He had never said anything about leaving, so why did he? Was it because of you?

You nodded briefly, excusing the nightmarish thoughts from your mind. “So, how’s life? Tell me,”

“I’ve been good, busier than ever,”

“Finally settled in?”

“Quite. Not all there yet,” he winced a little, shrugging his shoulders. “You?”

“Not much. Everything’s almost like before,”

‘Before’ was enough for Jay to get the hint. Just the word alone was able to speak more than it should have, causing a sense of solemn settling in the cold evening air. 

You cleared your throat, shifting uncomfortably in your seat. “How’s your family? I haven't seen them in a while,”

“They’re great! Mum and dad are both healthy, they’re the same as ever,”

There it was. The same hint of the past.

The conversation soon rolled into a certain dullness, awkwardness present and apparent. Small talks about work and the weather, you could tell his guard was up, and you knew why. It was because the last time he saw you was still burned in the back of your mind, the time when everything came crashing down.

Once the coffee was drained from your cup, you knew it was most likely time to part ways. You’ve said what you said, you saw his face, unknowingly getting closure in the process. But was it longing that pulled at your heartstrings when you locked eyes with him? His saccharine eyes brought back memories and comfort, the feeling close to home. 

The snow was falling outside when you and him exited the cafe. It was time to part ways, once again. You had your hand wrapped around yourself, and Jay had his hands tucked in the pockets of his coat. The sight of it reminded you of the countless winters you’ve had together, standing at the exact spot, by the entrance of the cafe where you shared your favourite hot coffees at. 

“I’m sorry,”

Confusion turned into hurt, Jay came to term about the meaning behind your sudden burst of an apology. It seemed that he hadn’t let go of it either. There you were, swallowing your pride, facing the man you loved.

“I’m sorry for that night,” the night where you left his roses to wilt and eventually did the same to him as well. 

It was a mistake to have treated him like that, but how could you blame yourself? You were selfish, you had to be, you had to do all it takes to achieve your dreams and breaking the heart of the man you loved was what it took. 

You hated December. If you had the chance, you would go back to the time somewhere in December a few years back to rewrite your mistakes, because it turns out freedom was nothing but missing him. Stupid you were, wishing you’d realised what you had when he was yours. 

Jay heaved a sigh, the air condensing into a mist. “Thank you. I’m sorry too.”

That’s when you knew if you could, you’d go back to December all the time, turn it around and make it alright.

You were haunted, plagued by him. 

Agreeing to an early Christmas party invite shouldn’t have been a regret until you saw his face appearing there, realising that you two shared mutual friends too. In the end, you’d always be connected some way or another, it was inevitable considering having history together.

You wished you were lying when you said you haven’t been sleeping well ever since seeing him that day in the cafe. Staying up and playing back the moment of yourself leaving, the piercing feeling of regret keeping you awake. 

You recalled the start of the year when his birthday rolled around and you cursed yourself for remembering, just like how you remembered everything else about him. His birthday passed, and you didn’t call. For the first time, you weren’t the first to wish him ‘happy birthday’.

It was then you thought about summer, all the beautiful times. You could picture everything perfectly, every second spent together and the littlest details of them all. One that stuck out most was you watching him laughing from the passenger side, the same time where you realised you had fallen in love completely and undeniably. 

That was until the cold came and the dark days when fear crept into your mind. He had given you all his love, but all you did was give him a ‘goodbye’.

Now, as you stared at him from afar, not missing the sparks shining in his irises and the curves of his lips, you finally grasped the unceremonious fact that you missed him, utterly and shamefully so. 

You missed his tan skin, his sweet smile, the way he has always been so good and so right to you. It all brought you back to that September night, when he held you in his arms, letting you cry into his shirt. It was the first time he ever saw you cry, and you allowed yourself to be fully transparent with him.

It was wishful thinking, probably mindless dreaming, having him in your thoughts and missing him, but you let yourself feel after a long time. You’d go back in time to change it, yet, alas you couldn’t.

You swore, if you and him loved again, you’d love him right. But now, if the key to his heart had changed, you’d understand.

His gaze travelled over to you, unintentionally locking with your eyes. Longing and sadness clung onto the connection between the both of you, but all you could do was nothing. 

Take me back to December.

( © jaylver all rights reserved. do NOT copy, plagiarise or edit my work and repost whatsoever. once discovered will be exposed and blacklisted. )

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[dr5amatic]

BEYOND THE STORM ,

a sentence starter prompts list comprised of quotes from the novel a sky beyond the storm by sabaa tahir. please be advised that this list may involve topics including, but not limited to, murder, death, and violence. change verbiage as needed.

we are, all of us, just visitors in each other’s lives. you will forget my visit soon enough.

emotion is the enemy. love, hate, joy, fear. all are forbidden.

you will not win. i do not care what it takes, nor how long. i will defeat you.

death is not good, nor evil. there is no right or wrong with death. death is death.

murder is not the answer to everything.

worrying won’t help, but talking about it might.

defeat in your mind is defeat on the battlefield.

men are a terrible waste of air.

the world’s not only full of bad things, you know.

you of all people understand what it means to have the love of your life turned into someone else.

don’t let me fall, you idiot. unless you want to carry my carcass the next hundred miles.

it is torment to love someone hopelessly, with no chance of requital. there is no salve for it, no cure, no comfort.

your heart is the only thing that can be trusted.

i can’t change your mind, can i?

for me, [name], desire is not simple. it is not shelter. it is not warmth. it is a fire that offers no light, only heat, ruinous and consuming. the longer you deny it, the hotter it burns. you forget shelter. you forget warmth. there is only that which you want and cannot have, and the desolation that follows.

your wishes do not matter much to me.

you will not touch me. you will not even think about taking me anywhere without my leave.

may death claim me first.

when you look at me, what do you see?

you’re brave and wise. you just have to be patient too.

i am sworn to protect you.

i need you to disappear. to never leave. i need to have never met you or felt you. you. you. you. i need you.

why do you stand there like a moonstruck doe? if they catch you, they will kill you.

can a worm hurt a wolf, or an ant kill an eagle? no matter how badly you want me to die, i cannot.

i want to fight. i want a battle that isn’t in my head.

do you even remember those you’ve killed? or are there so many that their faces fade together?

greetings, death. you come to claim me at last.

i could not live with myself if more suffer because of me. stay away. leave me in peace.

there is no safe place for me in this world. not unless i create it for myself.

one day, you’ll have to reckon with all the things you try to hide from yourself. the longer you wait, the more it will hurt.

forgive me. laughing hurts less than facing what happened.

when i thought i was going to die, i thought about you.

there is no honor in death by idiocy. 

for the living, death is the only guarantee. it cannot be defeated.

war is your past. war is your present. war is your future.

a commander who has tasted the bitter fruit of war is the only one worthy of waging it, for they understand the cost.

i have missed you, my love.

get away from me. i will tell you nothing.

we are doomed, you and i, to offer more love than we will ever be given.

you’re a man of few words, so don’t waste the ones you do utter on things i already know.

this is my city and as long as i have breath left in my body, i will fight for it.

do not give me some sad story about love and loss and your broken heart.

you and i are more alike than you know, and that is not a compliment.

you’re in a position of great power. it’s a lonely place to be. most leaders spend their lives using others and being used. love isn’t just a luxury for you. it’s a rarity. it’s a gift. don’t throw it away.

you are lucky enough to love someone who loves you back. they are alive and breathing and in the same vicinity as you. by the gods, do something about it. for however long you have, for whatever time you get. because if you don’t, i swear that you’ll regret it. you’ll regret it for all your years.

mangoes are not as sweet if you are not sharing them with someone you love.

i didn’t care about them. not like i care about you.

i’d tear apart the world if anything happened to you.

you cannot make me stop loving you. not when i know that somewhere in there, you feel the same.

do you not understand why? i do this because I love you.

it’s so good to hear you laugh. you don’t laugh enough.

memory will make you weak and emotion will not serve you well.

you are broken, but it is the broken things that are the sharpest. the deadliest. it is the broken things that are the most unexpected, and the most underestimated.

i have seen what happens to those i love.

can i kick him? i’m going to kick him.

i still loved them. i shouldn’t have, but i did.

every time i touch you, i fall deeper into a place i know i will not be able to emerge from, should I lose you.

my soul aches with all that I should do. it weighs on me like a mountain, and i cannot bear it.

all my love goes with you.

i do not know if i will be able to do what must be done.

there are some things that do not die no matter how many blades we put into them.

love is why i still live.

come to me in the darkest hour of the night when the stars still sleep.

still flirting at inappropriate times, i see.

how many have died because of a king’s greed or a commander’s pride? 

how much pain exists in the world because we cannot get past what has been done to us, because we insist on inflicting pain back?

how does one move past such huge sins?

sometimes, it is better to die than to live as a monster.

there’s no one i’d rather have at my back.

love can be more powerful in a battle than planning or strategy. love keeps us fighting. love drives us to survive.

you don’t get to decide if you deserve my love or not. i decide that. you are worthy of my love.

your mistakes only define the rest of your life if you let them. don’t let them.

i want a life with you. adventures. meals. late nights in front of fires. a thousand rainy walks. you talking me out of my clothing in inappropriate places. i want more.

you cannot go first. i could not make sense of the world if you did.

there is not a single person alive who i trust more than you to do what must be done today.

all that i do is driven by love. love of all that was taken from us. love of what is left.

how do i go on when i’ve wrought such devastation? when all i have to give is death?

perhaps you and i are doomed to always be hurt. what we do with that hurt is our choice. 

how do we trust our happiness? how do we go on if we don’t know if it will be taken away?

i wish i could live a thousand lives so i could fall in love with you a thousand times.

[motherstone]

Kazu Kibuishi nearly died while making ‘Amulet.’ Two decades later, he’s completed it. – Orange County Register (ocregister.com)

A passage from the article:

But in the decade since his recovery, Kibuishi says he still feels the effects.

“It changed my life, for sure. That’s part of the reason why I can’t write as fast as I used to. I can definitely draw just as quickly; that’s just motor skill. But writing is really what takes the most time,” he says, adding his memory has been affected – sometimes he’d finish a page only to realize he’d already drawn it before. “There are certain obstacles and hurdles I have to get over. I don’t want to use it as an excuse but … I have set a standard with my former self that is very hard for this brain to match.”

Kibuishi’s memory came up when I mention an earlier meeting we’d had. Years ago, not long after he’d recovered, I’d reached out to tell him how much my family enjoyed his books and Kibuishi had invited us to visit his Bolt City Productions studio in Alhambra. While a memorable event for us, Kibuishi says he can’t remember much from that period.

“That time in my life, I just have to accept that I was a bit of an amnesiac. There’s like a crater in my memory,” he says. “I don’t know if I’ll ever fully recover from it, but I manage well, I think, despite all of that.”

That explains why Amulet turned out the way it did. I deeply regret the harsher points of my criticisms, but my points about flaws of the series still stand.

On one thing, I presumed that his injury may have played a factor, something that severe especially in the brain is not something you would 100% recover from. On the other hand, I thought it is pretty wrong to speculate or assume further about Kazu’s medical history because that’s ultimately his business to divulge or not.

So I assumed it was arrogance. I assumed that since he’s secured a good number of loyal readers, he’s just putting whatever because a.) he’s done with Amulet, and b.) people would read his books either way, so why bother with quality? Which is not only extremely bad faith of me, but also deeply insulting to Kazu as an artist. To which I am regretful, and I do apologize. He really just can’t remember. The Amulet we started with isn’t the Amulet we ended with.

That also explains his process. He’s made around 1000 draft pages for book 9, then pick and discard what he wanted to keep and honestly, I’m pretty sure someone with a direction for their story wouldn’t have such ramblings that would take 1000 pages (I myself who also draws a lot wouldn’t make that high of a number), the process overall was just yonkers. But for someone with a spotty memory… That’s probably the best method he could come up with.

But in all honesty, reading this article gave me an overwhelming sense of peace. I could live with Kazu’s reasons if it was because he’s done with Amulet, or if it was because of executive meddling, or if it was for medical reasons. Mostly because these are all problems that can be fixed. A better project, a better employer, a better work schedule, better accommodations. I still think the writing is awful and declined badly, but I’m more relieved that it isn’t because Kazu no longer cares or values his work. Ultimately, he genuinely did the best he could.

[theladyofbloodshed]

Chapter Two

To snatch a short break from Nyx, who was in a positively vile mood due to teething, Feyre winnowed Nesta home. Lucien remained at the river estate to speak with Rhysand. His presence had Elain making an excuse why she needed to retreat to her bedroom despite Lucien saying nothing more than a polite hello. Nesta had wrinkled her nose up, disappointed with her sister for being too cowardly to tell Lucien if she did not care for him. 

‘Don’t make me go back,’ said Feyre, pressing her knuckles to her eyelids. ‘All he has done today is cry.’ 

‘Rhysand or Nyx?’

Feyre let out a sigh. ‘I am exhausted. Rhys is busy with Illyria. If I didn’t have the wraiths and Elain, I don’t know what I’d do. I never have a minute to paint anymore.’

Nesta jailed her tongue. She had wanted to say that’s what happens when a twenty-something year old has a child with a man she’s known for a couple of years. It was laughable that Feyre thought she might have time for painting with a baby and a court to manage. She said nothing, only waited for Feyre to say her goodbye rather than cause an upset. 

The house greeted her with a sharp tug of the curtains across the windows and back in lieu of a wave. She couldn’t help but smile at it. Lucien was right, it was a house - but it was still her friend. It had been the house who gently encouraged her to eat and shower each day when they had seemed like impossible tasks. 

It prepared food for her that evening despite her blood still being thick with sugar from the bakery. She ate alone in the quiet with a book pressed open beside her bowl of broccoli soup. 

Cassian didn’t arrive until late, when she was already busy in the bedroom. Mud had dried up his cheek and his hair was matted with it. He flopped into a chair in their bedroom. 

Nesta exhaled through her nose. ‘You’ll make the chair filthy. Stand up. Take your boots off.’

‘The house will clean it.’

‘That’s not the point,’ she protested. They didn’t need to make more work for the house for the sake of it.

At the sight of her open bag on the bed and the folded piles of clothes beside it, Cassian startled. ‘Visiting Emerie?’

‘No,’ she said airily. ‘I’m going to the Dawn Court.’

A hand landed on her shoulder to turn her. The light of his siphon nearly blinded her. She shielded her face from it, so Cassian covered it with his hand. 

‘Tell me that again. Dawn Court. Since when?’

‘Lucien invited me. I’d like to shadow him to see if I still want the role as emissary.’

‘Lucien is emissary. There can’t be two.’ 

‘Then tell Lucien I’m about to usurp him,’ she replied, turning back to her bag and adding a thin, lilac dress to it. She had been advised that it was very warm except near the sea where the breeze provided a blast of fresh air. 

Cassian stared at her for a moment. ‘Why are you in this mood?’

‘I’m not in any mood. Actually, I’m in a good mood. I’ve had a great day.’

‘So, you’ll just swan off with Vanserra and not tell me?’

‘You never tell me about going to Illyria.’

‘That’s my job.’

‘And maybe this will be mine. I can’t spend the rest of my life inside the warded walls of Velaris, never seeing anything else. You only ever take me to the Hewn City or Illyria so forgive me for wanting to branch out.’ She trampled on her temper. This was her mate. She had made a commitment to him for the rest of her life. ‘I’m going. That’s the end of it. Why don’t we spend time together this evening? We could go into the city for a drink-’

‘One of your taverns to get plastered in?’

‘I don’t have to drink. I haven’t in a long time. We could just take a walk or go for dinner or even stay here.’

‘I need to speak to Rhys about something.’

Her hope deflated. Of course. There was always something to talk to Rhysand about. That always took priority. And if Cassian spent time with Nesta then Rhys would inevitably appear in his head. Either that or one of the others would show up.

‘Fine. But I’m going early in the morning with Lucien.’

‘I’m not happy about you going there. Who says Lucien will protect you? That he won’t try anything?’

‘He’s my sister’s mate. I am your mate. The Dawn court is safe and furthermore Lucien is our ally.’ Her blood was beginning to boil. Cassian had spent plenty of time with Feyre and she’d never taken offence by it. None of the times that he ever flew Emerie back to Illyria incited any jealousy in Nesta either. 

‘I’m not happy,’ he repeated. 

Perhaps if she was better, she might have caved to the pressure or felt guilty by the disappointment nibbling at his features and called it off. Nesta had to do this. If anything, she had to do it to prove a point. She was made for more than the walls of Velaris. If Cassian couldn’t support that then… she’d have to figure out her next steps.

‘I’ll only be gone a night or two. Speak to Rhys quickly then we can-’

‘It won’t be quick. See you later.’

Without a further word, Cassian had turned on his heel. Without bothering to shower or change, he departed to the river estate, leaving Nesta to pack alone. She should have been used to it. Shouldn’t have gotten so upset every time that she was pushed aside in favour of Rhys or the others. After all, in the grand scheme of Cassian’s life, Nesta was little more than an inkblot compared to their enduring presence. Still, unwanted tears fell from her cheeks as Nesta continued to pack. She pretended not to notice them, as she did often.

That night, when her mate came home, he woke her with kisses down her spine. Before Nesta could even speak, Cassian had turned her onto her back and was sliding his length inside. It was nothing new. Sex was their only form of communication. It was good – as it always was – but Nesta could have done without the wake up.

‘Sorry that I was grumpy earlier,’ he murmured when he had finished then kissed the back of her neck softly. ‘Long day in Iron Crest. The males are the worst sort there.’

Cassian pulled Nesta a few inches across the mattress so that his chest pressed to her back.

‘I talked with Rhys about going to the Dawn Court. He doesn’t want you going with Lucien. He said we might be able to go in a few weeks.’

‘We?’

‘All of us. We need to speak to Thesan about a trade agreement.’

Disappointment seeped through Nesta, thick and clogging, catching in her throat. ‘But I wanted to go tomorrow. I wanted to be able to explore – not be cooped up in a room or trotted out in a meeting.’

‘We’ll find time for all of us to explore.’

It took little time for Cassian’s exhausted body to succumb to sleep. His arms had locked around her like a vice, holding her to him. Not right, not right, not right. Why was it Rhysand’s decision whether Nesta could leave or not? She wasn’t a damn prisoner – and certainly wasn’t one of his subjects. She might have saved his life – and his mate and child - but his lavish gifts and warm reception towards her lasted only a handful of weeks. Why was it Cassian’s business to even talk about it with Rhysand? The thought of them gathered around, discussing her again like she was an item on the itinerary for the evening had her clenching her hands into fists. She was sick of Cassian never being able to be apart from his family. He could never find time to be with just her. Nesta was beginning to worry that he couldn’t stand her company either – that he always needed others present because their words dried up too quickly together. Not that they talked amongst the inner circle. She was always to one side like an unwanted guest who they were forced to put up with.

***

When Lucien headed up to the roof, Nesta was already ready and waiting. A small bag was clutched in her hand. Rather than a smile, she greeted him with a brisk nod of her head. It was a cloudy morning. The days of glorious sunshine were stifled by a rough wind from the north. He was glad to be getting away for a handful of days.

‘Early riser,’ Lucien noted.

Nesta nodded again. ‘Are we leaping from the roof or hoping we’ll grow wings?’

As if on cue, Azriel appeared from the narrow stairway and walked onto the roof. His black hair was tousled and shadows had made their home beneath his eyes as if he hadn’t been to sleep. ‘Ready?’

‘Yes. Just onto the street, please. I can winnow us to the Dawn Court.’

Azriel seemed to realise that Nesta was there because she was travelling with Lucien. Definitely not on form today. ‘You’re going? Did you tell Cass?’

‘Yes, I told him,’ she sniped back, voice slightly on edge. ‘Weren’t you at dinner last night?’

The shadowsinger shook his head. ‘I was elsewhere.’

Those three words had Nesta’s shoulders loosening. She seemed to let out a sigh of relief which did not fill Lucien with any sort of comfort. Before he could question the sudden ease that had come across Nesta, she had stepped towards Azriel, ready to be flown in his arms.

Lucien watched them go, pitying Nesta for the life she was trapped in. Fancy living in a place that she was a prisoner in. It was demeaning to have to ask somebody to bring her to and from her own home. His own demoralisation was about to begin as Azriel landed back on the roof. Neither of them particularly enjoyed being in such close proximity to the other. What had happened to Morrigan in the Autumn Court was also Lucien’s burden, in Azriel’s eyes. Lucien wouldn’t mention what had happened on Solstice though in retribution. The shadowsinger was aloof and alarming as it was. To bring that up whilst cradled in his arms was foolish.

‘When will you be back?’

Nesta stepped in before Lucien could, ‘Later. Thank you, Azriel. Goodbye.’

Her fingers enclosed around Lucien’s wrist like a claw, urging him to winnow.

They were met with a warm blast of air and bright sunlight that made Lucien shield his eye before he blinded Nesta.

Despite the niggling feeling that Nesta hadn’t been wholly honest, the look of sheer delight on her face swept those thoughts away. She blinked towards the sea, lips parting in wonder.

‘It’s beautiful.’

For a long while, they remained in silence. Lucien did not want to interrupt her vigil to the sea. In this quiet moment, he couldn’t help but compare her to her sisters. Nesta was not what he was expecting. He had only known her as the vicious protector of Elain, but that was not all she was. He had thought that Nesta was hard where Elain was soft. Maybe the eldest had never had the chance to be soft. Feyre’s loyalties were flimsy, but Nesta’s were as solid as stone. She was funny too, with a lethal wit that struck hard and fast.

With some coaxing, Lucien managed to tear Nesta away from the ocean to walk along the dusty streets of the Dawn Court. It was a pleasant place to be. Their winters were non-existent with temperatures dropping only slightly. Summer was filled with golden days that stretched on and on. Both of them were over dressed for the hot day ahead, so Lucien steered Nesta towards their lodging for the night. It was a pretty inn made of orange stone to reflect the sun from it. A mosaic of orange and yellow pieces in the shape of a sun covered the doors. Inside, it was cool thanks to its tiled floors and stone walls.

They managed to find twin rooms that had a door connecting them. It was the best outcome. The Dawn Court was safe – but Nesta Archeron seemed to have a target on her back in many places. He’d rather be able to reach her quickly if needed but they had their privacy too.

‘What is the plan for the day, Lucien?’

‘My meeting is in a couple of hours, so we can explore, if you like.’

‘During your meeting, what am I to do?’

‘Whatever you like,’ he said with a shrug. ‘Stay here. Visit something. There are many sights here that I can recommend. My friend, Nuan, resides here so we could meet her for dinner if you didn’t mind.’

Nesta blinked. ‘Why do I know that name?’

‘She created the faebane antidote.’ For good measure, he gestured to his ruined face, ‘and gave me an eye when Amarantha removed my original one.’

Grey eyes traced his scar then met his eyes. Most people avoided looking at it – or took brief, fleeting glances when they thought Lucien didn’t notice. Not Nesta. She refused to flinch from it. The usual revulsion didn’t come to her features either. She merely nodded and said it would be acceptable.

‘Pardon me for prying, but it was quite a swift escape from Velaris. Did you really tell Cassian that you were coming here with me?’

Lucien needed to know what sort of reception he might receive on the return to Velaris. The general of the Night Court’s armies hunting him down wasn’t on his agenda.

‘I told him. He wasn’t happy. He told Rhysand. He said no. I’m not their subject. And here we are.’

Ah, just as he had suspected. And that meant the shadowsinger would get it in the neck for unwittingly helping them to leave the House of Wind. Lucien was torn. He almost wanted to deliver Nesta back to save his own neck – but how could he? She’d summarised her miserable existence. Her mate had to give his approval. The high lord she didn’t want had also waded into a decision that was nothing to do with him. Miscommunication was the only reason why she had been able to remove herself from the red stone house carved into the mountain.

‘We’ll buy him a souvenir,’ he winked. ‘Change into something cooler. I’ll meet you on the balcony.’

When Lucien emerged, Nesta was already there. She leaned against the balcony in a pale-yellow gown. It fell to her toes but was thin enough that it floated, providing relief from the heat. It scooped low on the back, displaying her hard shoulder blades and a strange, shimmering tattoo. He hadn’t known she had made a bargain with anybody. Night Court bargains were generally black, like the whorls of Illyrians. Feeling his attention on her, Nesta turned.

‘You look nice. I’ve never seen you in yellow.’

She tugged at the narrow strap on her shoulder, uncomfortable in the gown. ‘I’ve never worn this.’

‘It looks lovely,’ he reassured her.

Her eyes flitted back to the view. The sea was visible from the balcony, luring Nesta to it again. Lucien knew she’d likely spend all day here if she could.

‘When we were first taken to Velaris, Mor had looked at us then went into the city to find us clothes.’ Nesta gave a slight laugh. ‘Elain’s were all pinks and tulle. Mine were yellow or floral. Definitely not me. They fit at least – and now they have a use.’

Their morning was spent combing the beach for shells. Nesta just kept pressing them into Lucien’s hands to hold for her, not speaking a lot, merely enjoying to be out in the fresh air. As the temperature began to climb, a faint blush stole across her thin cheeks.

She wasn’t at all like Elain. When he had first seen Elain properly, he had thought that she was the most beautiful female he had ever seen. And she was beautiful. It was a delicate, classic beauty. Nesta was different. She was wilder, more untameable, untouchable like the sea herself. Yes, Lucien could see why Eris had been prepared to lay an engagement on the table after a handful of dances. He always thought he could catch the uncatchable, tame the wild-spirited. Eris had likely seen Nesta as a challenge that only he could rise to. And Cassian had seen her as his given right as a mate.

‘Look at this one!’

Nesta held a starfish up to his face. He laughed briefly then remembered that Nesta had never been to the beach before.

‘It’s a living thing.’

‘Eurgh,’ she tossed it back towards the water – then he really did laugh.

‘You liked it a moment ago.’

‘Before I knew it was alive!’

Maybe he was bordering on dangerous territory, but Lucien hunted in the shallows for a crab to terrorise her with. When he found his prize, Nesta reacted exactly how she thought she might – by throwing her hands in the air and darting out of his way.

‘That is vile, Lucien.’

‘They’re delicious to eat.’

Nesta’s face screwed up in puzzlement. ‘I’m not so sure I like this place.’

 ***

While Lucien was busy with emissary business, Nesta had free reign in the Dawn Court. It was strange to have no routine, even stranger to have nobody to report to. Lucien had offered Nesta a handful of places to visit and given the recommendation to avoid the sun at noon when it was at its hottest. Embarrassment had swelled inside of her when Lucien had handed her a pouch of money to spend. She wished that she could have said no, but Nesta had no money of her own. She had believed Cassian when he said that she could use his money whenever she needed it. But Nesta never went anywhere without Cassian. Her life could only happen when Cassian experienced it too.

Her time was not spent idle. There was so much for her to see and do. Nesta explored the beach a little longer then visited a library with a great glass dome that nearly burnt her scalp. She visited the many shops along a main street, buying a ridiculous hat that she’d never wear again to protect her fair skin and little trinkets. There were many tinkerers in this city who created wondrous things that caught her eye. There was a sort of palace too that had been built from white stone. It had gardens running along one side of it that provided some shade. Many people stopped at the fountain to drink from the fresh water.

When Lucien found her later on, she was back in their rooms, resting on the bed. It wasn’t the sort of rests she used to take in the House of Wind when her motivation had evaporated. Her body was tired from the heat so it had demanded she stop until the weather cooled. He had tittered out a laugh at her prone form then touched a finger against her cheeks.

‘You’ve caught the sun.’

The skin was tight and tingling where he’d touched it. She excused herself from a meal with Nuan, claiming he could catch up with his friends without her unwanted presence. Lucien promised to find her later that evening, but, before he departed, ensured she’d drank lots of a water to fend off heat stroke.

It was difficult not to feel cross about her situation. Part of it was her own doing. She and Cassian had been like two pieces on a chess board, drawn to each other from the start. Whenever Nesta had aired those feelings that they weren’t a good match, they had been waved away by everybody else. They were opponents more often than not, rarely on the same side. Since their mating ceremony, Cassian had taken Nesta for granted. No escaping him now, a small voice said in her mind. If Nesta had stopped to think – to breathe – after what had happened then maybe she wouldn’t have rushed into something so eternal. Feyre had died. Nyx too. Then Nesta had touched the Harp after a week spent terrified and exhausted in the Illyrian Mountains, saving them all. Her heart had been tender. It had been bruised and broken and barely beating. So she had accepted the bond.

And every day since, Nesta wished she had not.

‘There you are,’ came Lucien’s voice.

Nesta had taken refuge for the evening in a broken-down watch tower. The stone had been claimed by time so parts of it were ruined, exposing it to the sky and the sea. It made a nice shelter though.

‘I have a surprise for you.’

Lucien’s voice echoed in the empty tower as he approached. Nesta peered down at him from one of the upper levels. In his arms, he carried a heavy stack of plates.

‘I hope it’s not that you’re about to host a dinner party.’

‘Come down here a moment.’

Once Nesta stood beside him, the precise reason why he had a stack of plates hadn’t become clear. She tilted her head slightly, waiting for him to explain.

‘Throw one at the wall.’

Hesitantly, Nesta lifted the top plate off. Despite believing it was a trick somehow, she dropped the plate to the floor but it didn’t shatter.

‘A little more conviction, please, my lady.’

With a furrowed brow, Nesta picked the plate back up and hurled it at the broken stone wall. It shattered brilliantly into massive shards.

‘Again,’ encouraged Lucien.

Another plate smashed against the rock and Nesta felt good.

‘Keep going.’

Needing no more encouragement, Nesta launched plate after plate in the watch tower, stepping back each time a shard threatened to shoot back towards them. The grin spreading across her face refused to leave even after every item of crockery had been destroyed.

‘Feel good?’

‘So good,’ she breathed. Adrenaline pulsed through her veins. For once, it was due to excitement rather than fear. It had been a lifetime since anything had excited her.

She looked at the remains of the plates. ‘Was there a reason for this? An enemy’s plates?’

‘I just thought you could do with breaking something. Anger isn’t wrong, Nesta. It doesn’t need to be shut away. Anger is allowed.’

‘I feel as if I’m always angry.’

Lucien nodded then, ‘you’ve had a lot to be angry about.’

 ***

They settled for the evening beside the watch tower, watching the sun set together. Their legs dangled over a low cliff. Every now and then, they would need to raise them to avoid a soaking from a stronger wave. It was still warm despite the darkness settling in.

‘Sometimes I wonder if I should have just said yes to Eris’ proposal instead of this.’

Nesta gazed up at the sky, sighing slightly as her eyes snagged on the stars. Lucien really did feel for her. He tracked the bob of her throat as she swallowed.

‘No. You wouldn’t want that. As somebody who lived alongside Eris, you do not want that. Eris alone is bearable but you’d have to survive against my brothers and father too.’

‘Well, I’m always in second place to Rhys. Not even second place, I’m probably about fifth in the pecking order.’

How he longed to tell her that it wasn’t true. But Lucien had seen it first-hand. When news had reached him of the hike – the truth of it – he was disgusted. Rhysand would always be the centre of Cassian’s orbit. Feyre, Morrigan, Azriel, they were all part of it. It should have shifted at Nesta’s arrival. A mate should have been more. More important, more loved, more wanted. More everything.  

Nesta swallowed again. She was blinking rapidly, fending off tears that Lucien pretended not to see. ‘It’s not supposed to be like this, is it? I’m supposed to want to go home. I’m supposed to look forwards to seeing him. I’m not supposed to feel hurt by him so often. I’m not supposed to wish that I’d never accepted the bond.’

He reached over to take her hand. It felt so small within his. Nesta wasn’t a clawed beast that needed a hesitant approach towards. She was just a female thrust into a world that she did not understand. Lucien remembered Feyre – all snarling and anger – when she first came to Spring. Gently, he squeezed Nesta’s fingers. ‘No, I don’t believe it should be that way. Love should be celebrated. It shouldn’t bring dread.’

The female had many things to figure out. He could offer suggestions, advice, guidance, but it was her path to forge. He didn’t need to insert himself where it wasn’t wanted. But, Nesta was trapped between a rock and a hard place. With no finances, no way to leave, she was completely dependent on Cassian, just as Feyre was to Rhysand. That was exactly how his mother had been trapped. Day after day, his father had worn her done like a river eroding the rock.

‘If you make that decision,’ he said carefully, ‘to sever things then I will be there for support. It can be difficult when Cassian holds a lot of the power.’

‘Thank you, Lucien. You’re a kind person.’

‘Kind,’ he said, shrugging a shoulder. ‘With little money to my name, a ruined home in the mortal lands, and a face like this, kindness only goes so far.’

Nesta tilted her head. Her unflinching gaze landed on his scar again. There were some who worked hard to pretend it wasn’t there. They’d resolutely stare into his eyes, determined not to see it. That wasn’t Nesta. The pad of her thumb traced the ruined skin.

‘I think maybe Amarantha thought it wasn’t fair when she saw you. She had to give your brothers a fighting chance at finding a female. You’d be too handsome otherwise.’

He batted her fingers away, glad to see a mocking smile twisting her lips.

‘I have little to offer a female.’

‘A good heart is all one needs.’

Nesta wrapped her arms around her bent legs then tucked her chin on top of her knees, staring out towards the sea. The bright light of the moon rippled across the waves that dragged up the shore.

He didn’t know if Nesta was loyal. She’d proved her loyalty to Elain ten times over. But, would she be loyal to him – a male she barely knew? Lucien had nobody else to tell. Jurian and Vassa knew, encouraged it even. Taking a breath, he said, ‘I’ll be leaving Velaris soon. I will no longer work for the Night Court.’

Her eyes shot to him, lips parting slightly. ‘Why? Where will you go?’

‘I have been offered a position here – and one in the Day Court. I’m debating which to take. Day would allow a cordial relationship still with Night. The emissary role is yours, if you want it.’

She nodded, following his speech.

‘Which would you prefer? If you could choose with your heart, forget about political alliances, which one?’

Lucien swallowed against the lump in his throat. ‘I wish I could go home.’

‘Autumn?’

‘No. Spring. Autumn was a home for a long time, but after Jesminda, I don’t think I could ever be there again and be happy. Spring became my home. I loved my court.’

Until Feyre wiggled into their lives and uprooted it for so many people, damning the consequences.

‘The Night Court won’t ever feel like home for me,’ Nesta admitted. ‘I have so many bad memories associated with it. They tend to muddy any good ones.’

That was understandable. Even in the safety of Velaris, Nesta had been set upon in the library then forced into the Blood Rite not even two years later.

Softly, she asked, ‘What about Elain?’

‘Your sister has had enough time to strike up a conversation with me. I cannot force my presence on her. After Solstice, she made her feelings clear enough.’

‘Why was Solstice any different? She ignores you at every opportunity.’

‘If they want each other then that’s their decision.’

Nesta leaned her weight onto one hand as she moved towards him. Her brows pinched together. ‘If who want each other?’

Oh. She did not know. It wasn’t Lucien’s business. In a roundabout way, it was, he supposed although he had no sort of claim on Elain beyond a magical binding.

‘I would have thought you knew about it.’

‘About what, Lucien?�� The irritation rang out in Nesta’s voice.

‘I couldn’t sleep. I never settle well in Velaris. Elain and Azriel had a moonlight tryst until the high lord shut it down. That was the only one I’ve been nearby for, but undoubtedly there are more.’

‘That wretch,’ Nesta said, face contorting with annoyance. ‘At least have the decency to tell you she doesn’t want the bond rather than sneaking around. And Azriel? I will have him. Both of them. Bastards.’

Lucien waved his hand as if that might wave away both of their issues. ‘Elain never asked to be my mate. If she’s happy with Azriel then I’ll ensure the bond is not accepted. It’s just my luck really.’

‘You would let her go, like that?’

‘Yes.’

For a reason that he did not know, Nesta’s eyes filled with tears again. She blinked them away, not letting them spill over. ‘When I told Cassian that I never had a choice, do you know what he did? He started an argument with me on the Sidra. People avoided us. Said he’d not chosen to be shackled to me.’

Lucien couldn’t help it. The words came out before he could stop them. ‘And you still accepted the bond?’

Nesta shuddered. ‘Let’s go back to the inn. If I stay here any longer baring my bones to you, I might drown myself in the ocean.’

‘I’d probably join you.’

The female stood then reached out her hands to haul him to his feet. Lucien accepted. They began walking down the quiet streets, beneath the yellow faelight spilling from homes. It was still warm though not unbearable now.

‘Sorry that I never made an effort with you before.’

‘You’re not my mate,’ she replied, shrugging.

‘But I still could have tried.’

She nudged him with a closed fist, smiling slightly. ‘We’re friends now.’

‘United in misery.’

They both breathed a sigh of relief on the return to the inn when their rooms were gloriously cool. Their balcony doors remained open so Lucien could hear Nesta humming away to herself as she readied for bed.

‘I forgot to ask you. How was your day?’

She appeared on the balcony in an ivory night gown. Lucien tried not to look – it was his mate’s sister – but her long, lean legs were on display. He was still a male and this female could bring most males to their knees. The lace trim of the gown cut across the midpoint of her thighs. The thin straps of her nightgown were holding on for dear life. Lucien cast his eyes quickly towards the view although it was too dark to see anything.

‘It was lovely, thank you. I had a really nice time today. Thank you, Lucien, for taking me here. I really cannot thank you for it.’

‘I’m glad you’ve enjoyed.’

‘Can we stay another night?’

‘Sure,’ he said, glad of company that wasn’t Jurian and Vassa’s bickering. ‘We could go elsewhere. I have friends in other courts.’

Nesta rolled her eyes. ‘Stop showing off that you have lots of friends when I only have two.’

Feigning pain, Lucien pressed a hand over his heart. ‘Two? I thought I had moved into the ranks of Nesta Archeron’s friend.’

‘Fine. Three friends. And a mate who would rather bed his high lord than me.’

He couldn’t help the rough laugh that came out.

Nesta scrubbed her face with her hands. ‘If I can’t make jokes about it then I really will be miserable. Oh, Lucien. What a life I have.’

‘Hopefully, Cassian will miss you terribly.’

Nesta nodded, before turning towards the bedroom. She paused then said, ‘That’s the problem. I haven’t missed him at all.’

[calyxthenerd]

@thirdlotusprince3

Somewhere in Omashu:

He wakes up, feeling the effects of a nasty headache he doesn’t remember how he got, so he goes to rub his eyes, but face is weird and he doesn’t feel the scar that has been there for eight years, the symbol of his resistance and the kindness that he sworn by since that day of black sun, it’s gone, he looks down, but he realizes he can’t see anything, but he can feel the bedding around his body, and it feels weird, did he get shorter? he goes to get up and tumbles out of bed and when his feet hit the ground, he’s suddenly overwhelmed by the sensation of every little movement around the city, he clutches his head and he screams

—————————————————————

Firelord’s palace, caldera city

She wakes up, feeling extra woozy, since when does she get headaches? And then there’s the sunlight against her eyelids, she opens her eyes, and stares out at the bedroom she’s in, knowing full well that’s not her room in the palace in Omashu, where she was currently in an ongoing competition against king Bumi to see who could be the the other more until one of them croaked, but this room didn’t have the earth kingdom greens and browns she was told about, it looked like what fire felt like, burning and bright, and- WHAT THE FUCK? SHE COULD SEE OUT OF HER OWN TWO EYES?? She quickly went to the mirror, after all, being blind your whole life, you want to see what you look like, but when she saw two golden eyes, a scar around one of them, staring back at her, she did what she never thought she would do, after all, her tough façade is as smooth and resistant as the earth she bends, but when she saw her best friend in the mirror, she screamed

—————————————————————

After relaying the situation to Bumi, the only one brave enough to check in on the yell that he let out, he got helped onto an ostrich horse, vowing to never tell Toph that he let people help him do things while in her body, and quickly set off to the palace, wanting to get there before his chaotic best friend screwed up his years of progress in restoring the honor of his nation, by accident

—————————————————————

As the scream that echoed through the palace alerted everyone of trouble brewing in the Firelord’s quarters, General Iroh, who came home to visit, Advisor Mai, and Kyoshi warriors/personal security to Firelord Zuko, barged into his bedroom, to see him staring at himself in a broken mirror, as manic as his sister was before she was sent to the mental hospital, so Iroh gestured for everyone to stand still as he moved forward, not wanting to spook the boy

“Nephew” he said softly

“Ah yes, you are my uncle, Iroh, and I am your nephew Zuko, who can see out of his eyes” she replied, stiffly

“Nephew are you alright?” He asked, now concerned

“Actually, I’m not Zuko?”

Iroh was now suspicious “Who are you then, some kind of clone?”

“A shapeshifter!” Ty Lee declared, way more excited than she should’ve been, as usual

“An extraterrestrial?” Mai questioned, deadpan as always

“A spirit?” Suki, ever the logical one, supplied

“None of those, I’m actually… Toph” she grimaced as all of their faces shifted into complete and utter shock

“Oh dear, would you want some blindfolds? I imagine sunlight must hurt after a lifetime of nothingness” Iroh provides

“Actually” she turns to Suki, taking her time to commit all of their faces and figures to memory before addressing the girl “could you call the gang here? Before we fix whatever spirit stuff made this happen, I want to see… everything”

“Of course” the warrior smiles fondly, at her friend “I’ll send a messager Hawk right away, come on Ty Lee, I know you love sending mail” “Yay!!” And both brunettes exit the room

“Iroh, Mai, I want you both to stay here and help Zuko when he arrives, while me… I’m gonna take a walk around the city”

“As you wish, Ms Beifong” they both say, bow and go sit down at a table in the corner as she leaves

—————————————————————

The next month or so, consisted of the group of old friends traveling around all the kingdoms so two of their beloved friends could experience the world like they’d never have before, and in the last day, when they were back in Caldera, a spirit appeared “hello earth spawn, child of agni” “hello grand spirit” the whole group said “I switched your souls to give you perspective, a jaded young soul who deserved to experience the beauty of the world like never before, and a man who had the world at his feet, needed to answer the callings of said world once again, you both were given this experience to make you better people, kinder to yourselves and those surrounding you, and you learned everything you could, so I’m going to put your souls back into their respective flesh, but rest assured, your memories will remain, after all, without them, this would all be fruitless, would it not?”

[mcgnagallsarmy]

Spuffy style Reading Challenge - #25: Short Story Reading Challenge

A Mother Knows Best by angelic_amy [PG-13]

Buffy hates Spike and Spike can’t stand Buffy. Right? Ever since Willow’s ‘my will be done’ spell, the vampire and slayer have been plagued with thoughts and dreams of their supposed mortal enemy. And neither of them know what to do about it. When Joyce Summers receives a mystery visit from someone in the know, and learns a little about the possible future, the slayer’s mother is set to work – playing matchmaker. Set in early season four, post Something Blue, and goes AU after that.

A Totally Random Occurrence by Herself [NC-17]

The stake slipped from her fingers, and she had to take a deep breath to stave off the dizziness descending on her like a hood over her head. "You—I thought you were dead." A reunion in New York City.

And Then She Knew by Addie Logan [PG-13]

Spike does something different – faster and more clever – and everything changes. (Goes AU during "The Gift")

At Ease by The Danish Bird [NC-17]

Even with her eyes closed, Buffy would recognise this place in a second, and for a moment she wondered if she truly had ended up in a hell dimension this time. One that had doomed her to an eternity of Doublemeat Palace workdays. Buffy felt her lips moving, heard her own voice speaking, and as she opened her eyes she decided that a hell dimension definitely wasn’t ruled out just yet. “Welcome to the Doublemeat Palace, how may I help – “ She stared into Riley’s scarred face as she completed her sentence. “– you.” Her mom, Sunnydale, her home, Spike – There are many things Buffy misses in her life, but if she had gotten the choice to revisit a day that had already passed, this would so not be it!

Between the Empty Places by St Ephiny [PG]

When Buffy's at her lowest, Spike gives her the strength to go on.  What happens if Spike and Andrew return from their trip a little early, and Buffy realizes she's not alone during the mutiny?

Claw Marks by untouchable [NC-17]

Set after S2. Buffy never returns to Sunnydale. She stays in Los Angeles as Anne, working at the diner and running from her past until, one night, her past runs into her. Can two desperate broken-hearted people find some relief in the arms of one another, or will Buffy and Spike just tear each other apart?

Crash by Holly [NC-17]

True, Whistler sent her back to fix just one thing, but Buffy has always been rather ambitious.

Fantasie Segrete by Holly [NC-17]

The Slayer’s friends treat a very reluctant Buffy to a Valentine’s Day surprise in hopes of uplifting her spirits.

Floodgates by EllieRose101 [NC-17]

Willow’s engagement spell ends, but Buffy and Spike don’t want to let each other go. Now all their feelings have been brought to the surface, it’s like they can’t stop them. If anything, the feelings are getting stronger. But would being swept away be really such a bad thing?

Of Malls and Mistletoe by bookishy [NC-17]

Ethan Rayne's up to his old tricks, having hung mistletoe with the opposite of care all over the Sunnydale Mall. When it becomes clear that the only way to stop chaos from reigning over the year's biggest shopping season is for enemies to snuggle up beneath it . . . well, it's just a good thing Buffy finds Spike there after hours. Set a week after Riley's departure in "Into the Woods."

[clumsiestgiantess]

The eighth chapter of the Other-world Story; things are going.. well? Yeah! I think things might be getting better this time.

all chapters linked here

[A little rain never hurt anyone]

Now that I knew for certain Erica never actually moved out, I knew just when and where to find her at a good time.  I always had to plan my visits after dark, that way I could be completely un-intangible and un-invisible — just myself.   The night after I found her note to me, I caught Erica in the middle of watching something on TV.  An action sequence played out as I stepped up to the cliffside.  I was drawn in before I could even announce my arrival.  An odd fifteen minutes passed before our magnetic sixth sense ratted me out.  “Do you know how creepy it is when you do that?”  Erica paused the screen and shifted on the couch.  She looked out through the large windows behind her, giving me a look that was simultaneously annoyed and amused.  “Are you trying to watch my show from out there?”  “Maybe,” I answered, sheepishly becoming visible.

Despite knowing I was there, Erica still looked a bit shaken when I materialized in the window.  Though, I guess I would be too in her place — seeing someone appear out of the air.  “I thought you said you weren’t coming back,” she said mockingly, getting up from the couch.  Watching her disappear into the house, I scooted further down the cliff face to the back door and waited for her arrival.  However, Erica reappeared on a balcony instead.  It overlooked the picture-perfect view of the city lit up at night, but it also gave her a better view of me.  Now standing eye to eye with me, she looked me over, expecting an answer.  

“I uhh, I was bored?”  Erica laughed; it was the first real laugh I’d heard from her in, well, since we’d met.  “I could start watching movies out here if you like,” she joked.  My brow furrowed, “Do you actually want me to stay?  I got your note and all that, but I could always give you more time if you aren't ready.  We weren’t even supposed to speak to eachother ever again.”  She stood in silence, arms coming to rest on the railing in front of her as she stared beyond me into the dark.  “No,” Erica said finally, “I think I've come to terms with things, and you’re always gonna be around, which makes it a bit awkward when I ignore you all the time.  But you understand why I'm not forgiving you, right?”  I nodded.  “What you did...” she stopped there, seeming to be at a loss for words.

“I’m sorry,” I repeated, “Honestly sorry.”  “I know,” she sighed, “But I just can’t forgive you for something like that.  You took over my life, and- and I don’t even know your name!  Wow,” Erica pulled away from the railing, shocked, “I still don’t know your name.”  I forced a smile, pushing guilt from my mind.  “It’s Alexis.”  She nodded, lowering herself back onto the patio railing.  We sat in silence for a bit, and I was slightly surprised by how close Erica let me stand.  Maybe she was too nervous to ask me to move back.  

I shifted to lean on the cliffside so both of us could watch the view a comfortable distance apart.  If I really want to make amends, running away to my world and cutting myself off from her isn’t going to work.  But what can I do to make Erica see that I can be better?  As I stilled, I realized that ‘better’ was really just my normal self — how I would act if she were another real person.  Giving her gifts could only get me so far.  If I could just be there for her, no weird powers — just as a friend — maybe she would come to see me differently.  

“What if I make it up to you?” I offered, “Well, I doubt it'll make up for everything, but I should at least try to do something for you, right?"  I turned to look over my shoulder at Erica.  "It's a nice gesture," she shrugged, "but what exactly do you have in mind?"  Erica looked at me dubiously, like she expected me to suggest something outrageous.  "We've had this conversation before.  Your last few 'gifts' haven't really been all that helpful."  "It'll be different this time, I swear.  I want to show you that I can be something besides an invisible threat to your existence.  Please.  You just have to trust me."  Erica studied me, eye to eye.  Her stare was almost threatening, really.  "Can I trust you?"  I averted my gaze, and mumbled, "I'd like you to."  She cleared her throat forcefully, making me look back at her.  After a moment’s hesitation, I held her gaze.  “I know I probably don’t deserve it, but hope you do.”

Nodding in satisfaction, Erica stepped off the patio into the room behind her.  "Then I will, just this once.  At least you're trying to make up for what you did.”  She shuddered, "In your place, most people would've just erased everyone's memories and started over.  At least you didn't do that."  "I like it better this way anyways," I told her, "Now that you know about me I don't feel so.. so out of place."  "Goodnight, Alexis,” Erica said, sliding the patio door open to step back inside.  "Yeah, goodnight.  Oh!  Drive to the base of the mountain by twelve tomorrow afternoon!  I'll take things from there."  Erica looked at me thoughtfully for a moment, then nodded, sliding the door closed and disappearing from view.

A day out.  That's what we needed.  Just some free time to get to know each other, so Erica could see beyond the monster I'd made myself over the last eight months — so she would believe I really was a normal person.  A normal person in your world maybe, a voice echoed inside my head.  But in this world, you're a colossus who can control minds and turn both invisible and intangible.  Yeah, of course she'll believe you.

Tomorrow, things will change, though.  If all went to plan, everything would be-  Ow!  A car drove full-force into my foot, startling me.  Its front half was compressed flat from the collision, crunched up through the front row of seats.  I had absentmindedly walked directly in front of a major road — thankfully invisible.  The car behind it barely swerved out of the way, causing it to skid off the street and topple over into a ditch between the woods and the road.  A pile up began to form.  I sighed and returned home.  Only about an hour later it occured to me that I could've saved all of them if I'd been paying any attention to where I was going.

Whenever stuff like that happened — and being my size it tended to happen more often than you'd realize — I tried not to beat myself up about it.  I mean, it looked awful, but those kinds of things were bound to happen in that small of a world.  I couldn’t change that.  It wasn’t my problem that people kept getting in my way.  Later, my dad called for another family movie night.  I took the opportunity to clear my head.  All thoughts went out the window, except of course my ideas for the outing.  It had to be perfect.

It was raining.  Not in my world, but rather the smaller one.  I was greeted by an unexpected shower the next day.  I never really stuck around the other-world when the weather was bad, considering there's nothing big enough to shield me from it.  However, I promised Erica the day, and I was going to give it to her.  At least I was smart enough to bring an umbrella with me before I left my own world.  

Fortunately, the weather wasn't terrible.  The only thing coming from the sky was rain, not lightning or thunder and such.  On any other day, it wouldn’t be all that bad, the sounds of the drizzle were actually quite calming, but Erica and I were supposed to go out.  I assumed that neither of us would want to do that anymore — not with the rain.  When I arrived at the familiar cliffside of Erica's mansion, she was nowhere to be found.  I peered inside and knocked on both the front and side doors multiple times, but no one was home.  Then I realized her car wasn't parked out front.  She probably saw all the rain and thought I wasn't coming.  After all, I am almost twenty minutes late thanks to the weather.  Still invisible, my umbrella included, I headed for the city.

It’s a strange phenomenon the way things from my world disappear when I’m invisible.  Similar to my clothes, which were touching me at the time of my invisibility, any object from my own world that I held in this form would be invisible too.  The second I let go though, they reappear as if from thin air.  

Remaining completely unseen, I made my way down the stretch of trees and grass that followed the back roads.  As I did, I passed by the highway leading into the heart of the city, and found a massive traffic jam.  All the cars heading there were stuck in standstill traffic.  I could see some sort of accident blocking the road further up, probably caused by the ugly weather.  The light rain had picked up, becoming a drenching downpour that created small floods.  Thankfully I remembered an umbrella!  I would be soaked through if I'd left it back home.  I scanned the highway for Erica's car.  The new one she bought with the money I'd given her long ago was a rare and fancy model.  It wasn't hard to pick out amongst the other cars; it was also bright cherry red.

Careful not to break anything, I siddled over to the side of the highway.  I desperately wanted to call out to Erica — to tell her I'd come despite the rain, but realized that would be a rather stupid mistake.  Through the traffic, Erica managed to pull off at an exit nearby.  She drove right through the small neighborhood I had hunkered down in.  It was fascinating, really.  Erica zeroed in on me even with my invisibility and the downpour as if she had some sort of homing beacon directed at me.  She was driving full speed down the road I was standing on, and probably would have driven directly into me if I hadn't gently reached out and stopped the car.  I'd carefully lifted it a few inches off the ground to prevent it from its impending crash course.

Erica rolled down a window, rain pouring inside, and yelled through the wind.  "What the hell are you doing to my car!?"  "You were going to crash," I told her plainly.  "Crash into what?  There's nothing there!"  "You would've crashed into me; I'm invisible."  Erica angrily yelled something in protest, but I couldn't hear much over the wind.  "Just drive home," I told her, placing her car back on solid ground, "The roads are pretty clear in that direction.  I'll meet you at the house."  She answered me, but I couldn't hear a word she'd said.  "What!?"  Erica yelled again, but I still heard nothing.  Eventually, she just turned the car around and left.  I hoped it was back to the mansion like I asked.

I’d only been sitting around the cliffside for about twenty minutes or so before Erica arrived.  I held up my umbrella, which was so wide it blocked the rain from the entire front of the house.  When she got out of her car, she looked up and held out a hand, testing the sky.  “Did it stop raining?” Erica asked, confused.  “No,” I responded, and she jumped at my voice, which spoke invisibly from nowhere.  “Thankfully, I brought an umbrella.”  “Oh, well thanks for shielding the entire freaking house from the rain while I walk a few feet to the door.”  I ignored Erica’s sarcasm as she made her way inside.  

“So why are you here?” Erica asked me from her covered porch a few minutes later.  “It’s raining.  Are we really going out in that?”  I shrugged, “Probably not, but I promised I’d come today, so..”  I paused; there really wasn’t much to do here in the rain, especially with the highway all backed up.  “I did offer you a movie yesterday,” Erica reminded me.  “Oh, I thought you were joking.  Can you really set up a TV out here?”  She thought for a moment.  “I’m pretty sure I have a projector machine somewhere,” she mused.  “You stay here, I’ll go check the basement.  That’s where I saw it last.”  Erica disappeared into the mansion, leaving me alone again.  Stay here, I mused, glancing backwards into the sheets of water falling from the sky.  Where else would I go?

While I waited, I listened to the rain pattering ceaselessly on my umbrella and the roof of the house.  The calming sound kept my anxiousness to a minimum.  I wanted to make a good impression on Erica, but so far nothing I wanted had worked out for me.  Strangely, I’d been standing in the same spot for almost fifteen minutes and Erica still had not returned.  I was ready to call her back outside, when I heard some kind of ruckus going on in the house.  Confusedly, I peered into the first floor.  

“What are you doing down there?  Where’d you disappear to?”  Erica stepped out of the doorway to the basement, dragging a large metal column laboriously up the stairs.  I could only assume the metallic thing she was holding was the projector.  “Here, let me get it,” I offered.  I became visible for utmost dexterity, sliding my hand carefully through the doorway and reaching into the mansion.  “Hey!” Erica objected, “You can’t just reach in here like it’s a fucking dollhouse!  Get out!  I can do it myself.”  However, as she said this, Erica dropped the machine roughly on the floor and flung herself on a nearby couch, out of breath.

“I’m not giving up, just resting,” she remarked.  Scowling, Erica lay down for a bit before turning to look out the window at me, standing sorrowfully in the rain, waiting for her to get up.  “Fine, you take it.  I’ve already done the hard part myself, anyway.”  I nodded and picked up the small metal tower.  It was heavier than I expected, but nothing I couldn’t easily lift with one hand.

“Show off,” Erica grumbled as I effortlessly took the projector to the deck outside.  I returned to invisibility, just in case anyone drove by the cliff and noticed me.  "Oh come on," I teased, "Get over here and set it up if you're so intent on doing things yourself."  Slowly, she dragged herself off the couch, bringing along a few of the pillows and setting them down outside on the covered porch.  Erica propped one pillow up for herself and placed the other beside it.  She first looked up at me, then down to the extra pillow and laughed.  "You know what?  I don't think you'll be needing this."  

After adding the extra pillow to her own, Erica began setting up the projector tower.  Soon, the movie was rolling.  "Too bad you don't have anywhere to sit," Erica mused, remembering the awkward hunched-over stance that I was in during the brief moment I was visible.  "You didn't look very comfortable out there."  "I wasn't going to say anything because you worked so hard to get it up the first flight of stairs, but since you asked, I would be more comfortable watching from the second floor.  Then I wouldn't have to bend down like this to see the screen."  Erica considered my suggestion, then abruptly stood up and snached the pillows off the deck.

Cautiously, Erica leaned out from beneath the awning to peer at the floor above her.  "There's no roof over the balcony up there, though.  Everything will just get all wet."  "I do happen to have a very large umbrella," I reminded her.  "Alright," she nodded, convinced. "We'll watch it up there, but you have to bring it up since you're the one who wants it up there in the first place."  So saying, Erica collected the pillows and disappeared into the mansion.

Once she left, I collected the projector and the white sheet Erica had hung for the movie to be cast on.  By the time she made her way to the second story of the house, I'd deposited everything onto the balcony.  Quickly, Erica set up the sheet and projector again.  I made sure to keep my umbrella above the house as well as myself.  It's width only stretched so far though, and my back half was beginning to get rained on — no longer underneath protection.  A little rain never hurt anyone, though.  It was all worth it to spend some quality time with Erica.

Long after the rain stopped, the final movie finished.  We’d watched a trilogy of movies that lasted most of the day.  The series was one of Erica’s favorites, and one that I’d never seen before.  I wasn’t sure if that was because I didn’t know it, or if it simply didn’t exist in my own world.  Either way, Erica was more than happy to explain things to me.  She often ended up giving away information and plot twists that were supposed to be revealed later on, but I didn’t mind.  Some of it was hard to follow anyways.

It was way too late for us to do what I'd originally planned by the time we’d finished chatting about our favorite scenes.  However, things had still been rather fun even with the horrible weather.  "Well," I started once Erica gathered everything inside, "We couldn't really do what I had planned for today..."  Erica waved a hand at me nonchalantly.  "Who cares if we didn't do whatever you wanted to do.  We can always find another day.  Besides, I had a great time watching movies with you."  You did?  Really?  My heart fluttered in my chest.  I couldn't help but smile.  Unknowingly, Erica said the exact thing I was hoping for.

In my excitement, I inadvertently returned to a visible state.  Erica squinted at me in the twilight evening.  What little sunlight that had made its way through the cloudy sky was rapidly fading beneath the horizon, but it was still enough light for her to catch my expression.  "Why are you smiling like that?" she asked, amused.  

"It's nothing," I replied, quickly turning to face the other way.  She actually enjoys spending time with me!  It felt so good to win her approval.  "I, um..  I guess I’d call this a success then.  I don’t want to insert myself back into your life again, though.”  I thought for a moment, “Do you mind if I swing by your house every once and a while when I’m bored?  Just to talk or hang out or something?”

Erica laughed, and I thoroughly enjoyed the sound.  It wasn't something I had the privilege of hearing very often.  Her laughter was usually tinged with sarcasm or spite, but not tonight.  "You’re really working to win me over, aren’t you?" she asked, “I guess I wouldn’t mind having company sometimes.  I wouldn’t even have to make the house look nice because you stay outside!  You are invisible half the time, though.  Which is.. kinda weird to talk to.  You can do that.. how again?”  “I’m not one-hundred percent sure,” I shrugged, “But I can get it by doing a sort of half-and half thing where I’m partially here and partially in my own world.  There might be some strange form of me over there when I do this too, but I wouldn’t know because I’m not there. If you like,” I added, “I can only come later at night, when I don’t have to hide.”

Erica’s face scrunched up in thought at the strangeness of it all.  “Alright, come over whenever, I guess.  Just know, I have the right to turn you down when you get here.  Not necessarily because I don’t like you or don’t forgive you,” she clarified, “just because sometimes I need a break, you know?”  I nodded, “That’s fair.  I need those too.”  

It was strange that I could relate with and understand this tiny person so well.  She was fake.  I expected her to be like a non-playable video game character, with only one main action or personality — hollow besides a thin human-like outer layer.  She was far more complex than that.  If I scaled her up and placed her in my own world, I doubt I would be able to tell the difference between her and someone real.

After we agreed on my visitation idea, I headed for home.  "Goodnight!" I called as I backed away.  "Goodnight," Erica chuckled as she vanished into the mansion.  She'd gone off to put everything away.  I wanted so badly to stay and help out, maybe talk a bit longer, but it would probably be weird if I came back after I'd already said goodbye.  

I returned to my own world, shocked by how bright it was.  Then I remembered that no time had passed there.  Thanks to our unexpected time together, I had high hopes for my plans for the future.  I wasn’t sure why, but Erica’s rare good mood had put me into a good mood, too.  I guessed it was because she always seemed constantly a bit angry with me all the time.  

That week, school seemed to last doubly long just to spite me.  I wanted to get home so I could go back to the other-world.  However, by the end of the day I’d always convince myself that my visit wouldn’t be a welcome one.  It was too close to my previous visit; either that or Erica would likely not be in the best mood after having to work.  My anticipation could only be prolonged until school ended with the weekend, and I had nothing to do but go down to the basement.

Over many visits to the mansion, and occasionally to various outdoor places where I felt more comfortable, it became easier to talk with Erica.  She slowly learned to trust me enough to let me move around freely and accept various things I offered her.  My guilt faded with every trip to the other-world.  It was gratifying having her around on friendly terms — so much more gratifying than controlling her ever was.  As relieved as I was about being on good terms, I’m sure Erica was even more so. She had a few less things to stress about with me around only when she wanted me to be.

[blusapphire]

Play me a memory (Billy Russo x Reader) - Chapter 1

Summary: When you first met Billy Russo, you fell for him hard and fast. Being with him was like a dream, You were perfect for each other, or so you thought.

You return home one night to find all traces of him gone. You’re left heartbroken… and with a life changing surprise. Years later, you find yourself in a predicament when you unexpectedly find your way back into each other’s lives.

Notes: The first chapter is finally up! Please let me know what you guys think!

Series Masterlist

…

When you were a child, You thought you had an idea of how your future would turn out. In your mind, you believed there were paths people could choose to follow that would decide their future. And You decided a long time ago, that you would follow the perfect one. You had a map in your head with your whole life planned out. Every direction you would follow, all the places you would visit, people you would meet, your dream job; Everything was set in stone. 

But of course, nothing is set in stone.

 One night, tragedy struck, driving a knife through your dreamlike fantasies, altering your future forever, forcing you to take a different path in life.

That horrific night that plagued your memories and left you scared forever. 

Needless to say, Your life did not go according to plan. It rarely ever did for anyone. 

Not that you hated how your life turned out.

 No, it wasn’t that at all.

 Sure, It didn’t go accordingly, but there were moments you couldn’t have imagined going any other way, and people you wouldn’t trade for the world. It wasn’t on your map, but you we’re happy. 

The gentle rain lightly tapped your bedroom window of your New York City apartment, the cool air fogging up the windows, as the raindrops fell from the grey tinted clouds. You go through the different outfits in your closet, looking for a weather appropriate color, as you hear a a knock on your door.

You yell for the person on the other side to come in, and a head pokes through the door. 

“Hey, y/n, uh…“she muttered, “she won’t come out of her room again.”

You heaved a sigh, as you closed your eyes,  bowing your head in constraint. You turn towards your best friend, as you prepare to utter the question that has long become a routine between the two of you, 

“Is it a color situation again?”

She replies with a single nod, followed by a tight knit smile. “I mean, it is effective though. Sometimes I think about hiring her as my personal stylist.”

You reply with a light laugh, as you move towards her, “I got it,” 

“You always do,” she smiles as you breeze past her, heading into the hallway, toward your daughter’s bedroom. 

You walk in and stand by the door, and find her rummaging through her drawer, you guessed looking for something that she couldn’t find. 

This wasn’t something that was out of the ordinary in your home. It actually happened a lot more than you would like, much to your dismay. You tried to get her to pick out her clothes the night before, which actually did work, but one morning she would decide that she wasn’t satisfied with what she had chosen, and insist that she pick out a totally different outfit. 

Which wasn’t a problem; it only caused you to fall 15 minutes behind schedule. 

“Alright Ava, I’m here,” you say as you place your hands on your hips, in a superhero stance, “What’s the super special piece missing from your look today?”

Your daughter turns to acknowledge you, with a look on her face that tells you she knew you would be there, as she holds up a blue item in her hand. 

“I can’t find my purple one,” she gestures to the blue headband in her hand, “the one Betts got for me last Christmas,” she tosses the item on her bed, as she returns to rummaging through her drawer. 

“Well, I see some blue in this outfit,” you point towards her multi colored dress, walking over to pick up the blue accessory, “I happen to think it goes really well with this dress.”

“Mom,” she turns and looks at you as if you’ve grown two heads, “I can’t wear purple shoes and a blue headband,” holding out her arms for emphasis, “ they just don’t go together!” 

“What’s wrong with the outfit you picked out last night?”

“Mom, I had a burst of inspiration this morning,” she replied in an obvious tone, “I can’t just ignore it.”

“What if you just wore a black one?”

“That would be too many colors in one outfit!”

You chuckled at your daughter’s reply, moving in to help her tidy up her now messy room, picking up clothing from the floor, and putting things away in the correct drawer. Sometimes, you thought your daughter was a little too smart for her age. Or that maybe her brain was actually that of a teenager trapped in a younger person’s body, the way she was so passionate and strong minded about her decisions. You doubted that a bunch of  second graders would care about their classmates appearances, or their own, for that matter. And if this was her at age seven, you wondered what she would be like when she was an actual teenager.

Boy, were you in for a ride. 

“Well, you might just have to go with one of the two,” you admit as poke around helping her look, “because I need to drop you off at school and get to work and we’ll have to take the train today while my car’s being repaired at the shop and we only have a few minutes to spa-“ 

Your interrupted by the buzzing of your phone, signaling that you just got a text. You fish out your phone from your back pocket and look down at your screen, quickly skimming over the text. 

“Hey, are you free for dinner Saturday night, at 8?”- Nick

You gaze at your phone in guilt, at the text from a man that you had ghosted after no more than two dates. You open your phone to reply, different excuses in mind, all which you end up erasing, when your pulled out of your trance by your daughter shouting something in the background. 

“ Found it!” She excitedly yelled as she placed the recovered accessory over her head. 

“Great,” You both walk out into the hallway, towards the kitchen, as you bring your phone back out to check the time. “We only have ten minutes to spare, and I still have to get dressed and make you breakfas-

“Breakfast is all done.”

You turn towards Jazmine, as she brings over a plate full of food over to Ava, the young girl impressed with the smiley face of fruit and whipped cream decorating her pancakes. 

“Jaz,” you let out a sigh of relief, “What would I ever do without you?”

“ mm, I guess we’ll never know,” she jokes as she gives a playful shrug. 

Jaz was a godsend. You had first met in high school, and had been inseparable ever since. You went to the same college together, got your first ever jobs together, and the list goes on. After college, you two got this apartment together, and the rest was history. She was there for you in your darkest moments, even when you were far from deserving, no matter how ugly things got. She practically helped you raise Ava and if not, was like a second mother to her. After Ava came, you tried your best to convince her that she was your responsibility and your responsibility alone, but Jaz did everything she could to pitch in and help raise Ava, much to your avail. 

You stood back and watched as Jaz and Ava had a very intriguing debate about wether or not cupcakes should be served after every daily meal, of which Ava was winning, biting back a smile.

 It was the three of you against the world. Your own little family. And no, it wasn’t on your map at all, but you wouldn’t trade them for the world. 

…

You adjust your bag on your shoulder, as you try to keep your balance holding on to the pole in the middle of the train cart, looking around at sleepy faces and those who had already their morning coffee. You had already dropped Ava off at school two stops before, and had to get back on to get to work. You hop off the train after a few stops, walking up the slippery steps, the subways wet and dirtier than usual, with the rain that had been at it all morning. You contemplated taking the bus the rest of the way, but decided walking a few blocks wouldn’t hurt. Usually you had your car, and didn’t have to worry much about the Nyc transit, but It needed to be repaired, and wasn’t available for pickup until this afternoon. 

You close your wet umbrella, as you walk through the turnstile doors of Wilburne industries,  greeting the security and staff good morning, before walking toward the elevators. 

Wilburne Industries. 

You had got a job at the multi- million dollar company a few years after college, After you had Ava, and had worked your butt off to get to be one of Wilburne’s top employee’s, earning you your very own office. When you first got here, you weren’t very qualified, previously being employed at a small tech company, but your boss, and founder of Wilburne Industries, Harrison Wilburne, had taken a chance on you. 

Sometimes you still couldn’t believe you worked there. 

You step off the elevator, onto the 23rd floor of the building, the heated floor warming up your freezing hands from the cold rain. You shovel through your bag for your office keys and greet friendly faces that bid you good morning. You unlock your office door and set your stuff down, remembering that you forgot to stop for coffee on the the way to work, due to Ava’s fashion dilemma this morning. 

You walk over to the coffee machine around the corner and grab your company designed mug, and begin making your normal roast, when your pulled out of your action by someone calling your name from afar. 

“Y/n, hey!,” the man wearing a tie calls, as he jogs over to the coffee station, phone in hand.  

You look over and grimace, before quickly turning back around, hoping he didn’t see you complete the action. 

“Shit,” you mumble to yourself.

He approaches you, out of breath, a smile across his face. 

“Hey, y/n, did you, uh, get my text this morning?”

“Nick, hey,” you dragged out the last word as you turned to face him. 

You liked Nick. He wasn’t a bad person. He was actually perfect. He had Perfect hair, a perfect smile. He spent his summer reading to elementary schoolers, despite his busy schedule, and he was a gentleman. 

So it wouldn’t make sense to the average person why you had ghosted him after two dates. 

You had a really good time on those two dates, but you didn’t see it going too far. You didn’t want to have the “it’s not you, it’s me,” conversation, but it was true. 

It really was you not him.

 It was hard to date while raising a child alone, and you wouldn’t be able to juggle work, a child and dating until you were ready. You didn’t know how to break it to him, not really one for awkward conversations, so you ghosted him, far from what he deserved, and avoided him all throughout the the office for weeks. It was actually a miracle how long you had gone without running into him. 

“Yeah,… I did but i actually didn’t get a chance to respond,” you say as you anxiously pour the coffee into your mug, eager to get back to your office and out of the current conversation, “But I’ll have to check my schedule and get back to you.”

“Well, how bout lunch this afternoon?”

“Uh, I actually have to pick up my car from the repair shop this afternoon, and pick my daughter up from school too so,” you give him an apologetic smile as you attempt to walk away, “it’s a really busy day but-

“Ms. L/N, Mr Wilburne is requesting to speak to you in his office.”

“Sorry,” You give him an apologetic smile, as you begin walk away, grateful to be saved from uncomfortable situation, “I have to go, but I’ll see you later,” and you walk away before he can speak another word. 

…

You knock on the door of your boss’s office, and he yells for you to come in. He looks up from his computer, expectant to see you,  with a welcoming smile on his face. 

“Y/n, please, come in!,” he gestures to the seat in front of his desk opposite of him, prompting you to sit down, which you do. 

“So, I’m sure you remember the security breach we had a few weeks ago.”

“Yes sir, I remember.”

It was three weeks ago, to be exact. A group of thieves had gotten past the company’s very complicated software, by hacking into the company’s computers, and broken into the building despite the constant security surrounding the building at all times, attempting to steal god knows what. It had become a five hour hostage situation, and some hostages ended up getting injured. You weren’t there at the time, thankfully, having left early because you got a call from Ava’s school that she hadn’t been feeling well. They somehow made it out of the building, but weren’t able to get away with anything. The police still hadn’t caught the guys who did it. 

“I was thinking of getting some extra security around the building, at least until the police know who was responsible, and as one of the important figures in this company, I wanted your opinion,” he says as he folds his hands on his desk, “your honest opinion.”

“Uh, yes, sir I think that’s a really good idea,” giving him an assuring nod, “it would help the staff feel a lot safer, given the circumstances.”

“Great. I was thinking of a company named Anvil,” he hands you you a pamphlet, with the company’s name “Anvil” written across the top in bold letters, “it’s ran by an old acquaintance of mine. I set up a meeting for next week, and want you and Chelsea to give him a tour of the building, so he can have an idea of where to place his men, for the extra security.”

You curiously look down at the pamphlet handed to you, having never heard the name before. 

“I want you to read through that, and let me know what you think. Also, I want you to write out a report of the floors of the building that were breached.”

“That won’t be a problem sir, I’ll read it through, and have a finished report ready for you, by next week.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” he points his finger at you for emphasis, and turns back to his computer, you guessed to finish what he was working on before you walked in. You stand up and leave his office, closing the door behind you, and speed towards your office, hoping not to run into Nick again. 

…

“So, have you ever thought about buying another car, or uh, scrapping this one, or driving anything else other than this?”

“Rob, the more you ask, does not raise the chances of me wanting to get a new vehicle,” you joked with the car repair man, as you walked past the several other cars in the repair shop,“and I thought I was your favorite customer?”

“Eh, that’s up for debate,”

You lightly chuckle at his reply, as you hand him the repair money, with a generous tip included, which he places in in his back pocket. 

“She’s good as new-, Well, as new as she could be.”

“That’s why you’re the best, Rob.” 

You walk around the car and do a quick inspection of the vehicle, that had began to fade in color, it’s bright red now a dull pink color. The mirror’s were rusty and the inside of the car had a few scratches, but it was perfect in your eyes. 

This was your third time at the repair shop in two months, if you counted correctly.

 Parts of the car would give in, which would lead you to the repair shop every few months or so. If it wasn’t the car battery, it was the engine that needed to be looked at, which made you a regular at the shop. You had been to many repair shops previously, and most refused to touch anything, afraid that it would break down within a few repairs. It became a difficult task to complete each time, with the number of repairs growing each year. 

But Rob always came through. 

It would’ve been easier to just get a new car, but you couldn’t bring yourself to sell this one.

It was one of the only things you had left of her. 

You thought of her everyday, your mother. 

Her smile, that would reach her eyes, that was almost as blinding as the sun. Her perfectly manicured hands, that would hold your hand in hers, whenever you were afraid. Her soft laugh that was like a feathers floating in a light summer breeze.  And that smell. That smell that only she had, that was uniquely hers. 

That’s how you wanted to remember her. 

Not what you saw of her that night. 

Not how he left her. 

You hop in your car, and adjust you seat belt and rear view mirror, as you try to forget the bad memory. 

“Thanks again, Rob!”

“Yeah, no problem, see you in a few months!” He jokingly yells out as you drive out of the repair shop, and hit the road to pick your daughter up from school. 

…

“You two are unbelievable.”

“I think you should give it a chance, it actually doesn’t sound so ba-“

“I can’t believe you let her convince you!,” you yelled in playful frustration at Jaz, who you now thought was just as much of a child as Ava was. “You would have a sugar crash, before noon.”

“But how come donuts can be eaten for breakfast?,” Ava questioned, “their full of sugar and frosting.”

“You know she actually has a poin-,”

“You are not going to convince me that you can turn a cupcake into a breakfast sandwich!” The two of you had returned home about an hour ago, and you decided to begin making dinner, while Jaz and Ava kept you company in the kitchen.

“But wait, what if.. you added bacon?” Jaz asks hoping to convince you. 

“That would absolutely not make it better. I think it would actually make it worse,” you replied, imagining a bacon filled cupcake, “And it’s actually kinda gross.”

“I just think you should try it,” she shrugs as she picks up one of the carrots you just peeled and snacks on it, “she might be on to something.”

You giggle at her ridiculous comment, when Ava stands from her seat, and walks over to you. 

“Mom, do you have any old magazines? I want to cut some pictures out for my new scrapbook.”

“Didn’t you just make a new one a few weeks ago?”

“Yes, but you can never have too many!”

“She’s right, you can never have too many scrapbooks,” Jaz adds. 

“I have a few up on my closet shelf-,” she runs off into the hallway before you can finish, “but give me a minute, they’re too high up and I don’t want you to hurt yourself!” you finish slicing up a vegetable as you yell out after her. 

After you wash your hands, you walk into your bedroom to find the old magazines, high up on your closet shelf. 

“I think there may be some underneath the bed, in a shoe box.” You inform Ava, as she begins reach underneath the bed. 

After a few minutes of searching, you realize that you may have misplaced the old magazines, prompting you to start searching in your bottom drawer. 

“Mom, who’s this?”

“Who’s wh-“

You turn around as your face freezes in panic, and your unable to finish your last words, as she holds up a polaroid picture. You thought you had hidden away all the pictures of him, but you had obviously missed one. The picture was of you and a man with black hair, as you placed your hand around the playful arm that was around your neck, and held up white roses that covered the bottom half of your face. 

Yet the smile still reached your eyes.

 The joy and excitement of that night , could be seen through the half of your face showed up in the picture. It was a simple picture, but it spoke a million words. It was the first night you had met. 

He had a smile you would recognize anywhere. 

Dark brown eyes that were different from just any regular old brown eyes. They had this unique sparkle to them, that could stop anyone in their tracks. 

Similar to Ava’s. 

Sometimes she reminded you of him. In the little actions she would do, the weird food combinations that were similar to his, that you used tease him for. And when you looked at her at times, you thought she looked just like him. 

Billy Russo. 

“That’s… an old friend. From a long time ago.”

She takes a second to look at the study the picture, before she decides to place it back in the shoe box where she found it. 

It was a name that was associated with so much pain, and heartbreak, and a whole bunch of other feelings were weren’t quite sure of. But one thing you were sure of was this:

You never wanted to see that man again. 

[cottonkendi]

Betrayal | 1

MASTERLIST

Kunikuzushi x Reader

Word Count: 1k

Genre: 

Warning: None

Synopsis: Dendro Yaksha

Chapter 1 Chapter 2

a/n: I'm suddenly back from my long and unannounced hiatus kskksks not sure how updates will go with this one though since a new semester is about to start again but hopefully, I'll be able to finish this one~

The land has just started turning over a new leaf, the fields that were once littered with the bodies that you’ve brought down are now sprouting new flora. The animals that once fled for safety have slowly started coming back, grazing on the grass that were once crimson red from the war that you’ve just ended with your comrades. 

The peace brings you little to no ease, your shoulders tensed, ears straining to hear any single creak that may come your way, your hand tightly gripping onto the hilt of your claymore beside you, your stature barely taller than the weapon by your side. Next to you, your fellow warrior stands, his eyes as keen as yours as you both await your master to arrive.  

You have only known him for a few decades, merely hearing of his presence from fellow demons in the area, until you were both rescued by the Geo Archon. Your chains are broken and now you run free, protecting the lands that your God now rules over. It has become your reason to live. No matter what may occur, whether the rocks erode, the winds change or the plants die out. You will protect Liyue with all your life, sacrificing all that you have. 

Which is not a lot. 

You merely have your life. 

But that is enough. 

Quickly, your eyes dart in front of you, much like Alatus did, as the Geo Archon appears before you, the white cloak covering his visage momentarily before he sheds it off to showcase the numerous scales littering his body. 

The first time that you had seen him, he stood over your body, noticing him as soon as he had arrived while you were in the middle of an attack. The God that ambushed you about to flee away if it weren’t for the Geo Archon’s spear piercing right through the lower God’s head. By then, you thought that it would be your turn. 

Such a powerful God wouldn’t have any use for a rogue demon such as yourself, your sins greatly overpowering any of your usefulness. And so, you bared your teeth and prepared yourself to fight until you die, no matter how useless that would be. 

But alas, even with your bared fangs, the God before you did no such thing. Instead, he offered you his hand. “Would you join me in this war?” He said with such grace that you couldn’t believe it for a second. 

It had been years after that. You now go by a different name. Your purpose to live now is different. You have also met your fellow yakshas - to which they too have left you and Alatus by your lonesome after merely a few decades together. You’ve experienced gain and loss. Now, you’ve survived another cataclysm. 

The country once known as Khaenriah is now forever gone. 

Families and cities burnt to ashes. 

Those who survive will live the rest of their lives in pain. Their bodies bleed thorns with every breath that they take. 

And now, you stand before your God, listening to every word that he says. “I’ll be paying the Electro Archon a visit for a few days to pay my respects. The loss on the nation was unfortunate though their citizens know nothing about it.” Morax sighs before looking at you, a gentle smile taking over. “I will require (Y/N) to accompany me per request of Yae Miko as well. She says that there is someone that is eager to meet you in Inazuma.” 

At the mention of the Kitsune’s name, you can’t help but grow cautious. Nothing ever comes easy when the kitsune is involved. Your hold on the handle of your claymore tightens just a bit before you bow your head to your God. “I will make sure to prepare as soon as possible.” 

“I’ll standby and guard Liyue while you’re away.” Alatus declares as Morax gratefully nods, obviously happy that his last two yakshas have grown up quite well in the decades after his first meeting with you two. 

It doesn’t take long for Morax to disappear once more, mentioning how he has a few things to discuss with the other adepti before your departure in a few days. 

Heaving a sigh, you will your claymore to disappear, your eyes scanning over the land as you sit yourself down on the edge of the cliff, Alatus following suit as the two of you silently contemplate what's about to happen. 

“Keep your guard up. The Kitsune has taken a liking to you, though her powers won’t be able to do you harm, it is still best to be wary.” Alatus whispers, already aware of the pink-haired Kitsune’s antics and of course, you can also see the hidden warning in his eyes, telling you to always make sure that Morax is safe while away from your homeland. 

Humming, you place your palm against the land, focusing a little on the centre before you feel it. Raising your hand, you carefully pluck the Qingxin, carefully handing it over to your fellow yaksha. “I know. I will make sure to keep Morax and I safe. And I will keep my guard up. As for you, Alatus, I take it that you’ll take care of yourself as well.” 

You merely hear a  grunt from him before you stand up, dusting off your pants as you look over into the distance, planning on starting your rounds throughout Liyue, keeping its citizens safe from the monsters that started lurking after the cataclysm. Despite your thoughts starting to simmer and readying yourself with your nightly rounds, you can’t help but think. 

Think of what Yae Miko may have planned for you. 

What does she have in Inazuma that requires you to be there? 

Taking in a deep breath, you shake your head. 

You have no time for such trivial thoughts. 

Giving Alatus one final nod, you disappear in front of him, your mask quickly covering your face as you start your battle with the monsters. 

Risking your life once more to fight off those that pose a risk towards the citizens of Liyue. For that is the duty given to you by the Geo Archon. That is what it means to hold the title of Dendro Yaksha.

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all rights reserved © cottonkendi, 2022. do not copy or repost any of my works! reblogs/feedbacks are very appreciated~

[pipisbeloved]

αγάπη μου

chapter 1:

Night terrors

note: the words in italics are the readers thoughts

Across your house is a Pinetree forest; its noise keeps you awake most nights. with the birds, crickets, and foxes hunting. But that isn't the reason you're currently lying in bed staring at the window at 2:48 AM

you swear you're not crazy. But for some reason, you can’t shake the feeling, the feeling someone’s watching you. It’s in the trees waiting for me to sleep so it can take over, I KNOW it’s there and I know the second I rest my head I'll no longer be in control of my body.

The phone rings.

you jump back on the brink of tears.

god I need to calm the fuck down

Looking at the caller I.D. you sighed thank god it’s just Otis

"Baby?"

“baby? you okay, you didn’t come to our painting date yesterday but didn’t answer my calls"

Otis and you met 2 months ago during a local museum exhibition. You were so excited that day because you had a painting in the landscape art section. Earlier that month you entered a city-wide competition called ‘Wildlife Artist of the Year’. entering your oil painting of the forest, but in no way expecting to win. Not only did you have your painting front and center but you're also pretty sure you met the love of your life.

------------------------------------------

Helen Otis, the smart and self-important art genius. At first, you'd never imagine being in the same room as him, you'd see him around the museum judging the art, calling it sloppy and pathetic, 'that people didn't truly understand colour theory' as he could. You had to give it to him though, for only being 26 (and a half) he has talent. So much so, they once had a pop-up exhibition just for his sculptures and paintings. Although you never visited. They always gave you…the creeps? He’d never have a sculpture up for too long, always having them on rotation for the two weeks the museum had them up.

I heard a rumor that if someone visited the in the last few days (of the exorbitant) you could smell something off, not too distinct but the air smelt tangy. like someone left an orange out in a hot car to mold.

They never offered another showcase again

------------------------

But that said you truly are happy to be with him, even if he’s a little odd. And you were NOT expecting him ask for your number after the day ended. You also did not expect yourself to say yes, and actually enjoy yourself on the date. He’s sweet and cares I mean he wouldn’t be calling to check up on you right know if he didn’t.

“Yeah…I’m okay, sorry for standing you up I’ve just been really busy” you mumble

“it’s okay I’m just happy you’re not hurt, you never know where you live, I wouldn’t want you to be attacked by some fox”

you try to laugh it off  

“Yeah but at least the view is nice”

“So…we ever going to reschedule that date?” you can hear his smug voice on the other side of the phone

You smile softy

“Yeah of course what about tomorrow morning at Fred bears family diner for breakfast, I heard they do amazing strawberry waffles, 7:20 am sounds nice?”

He agrees and we talk for a few more minutes about nothing in particular, he gets your mind of everything that’s been going on. It’s nice.

[avinwrites]

Dark Nights and Warm Mornings

You were restless. Even after a long day of training and completing commissions for the people of Tevyat, you still couldn’t sleep. So, you did what anyone with your power would do and went out to fight some monsters. It wasn’t hard to find a group of slimes harmlessly bouncing around the gates of Mondstadt, but it was hard to bring yourself to kill the squishy creatures. You wished you could find a small hillichurl camp or at least a worthwhile opponent that you were not killing just to pass time. Your weapon laid claim to the life of the last anemo slime in the pack, and you still weren’t tired. If anything, you were even more energized than before. You turned back to walk further away from Mondstat before a deep voice you thought you recognized stopped you in your tracks.

“It seems like you’re doing my job for me.” The voice you have grown to love grabs your attention as you turn around to face the man. Your face remains stoic as a playful response contradicts your serious appearance.

“Well, we can’t have the Darknight Hero out of commission, can we?” You take a step towards him. He stands tall, scowling.

“I told you not to call me that.” Diluc takes a breath and releases it after a long pause. You almost think he’s sighing at you. “It’s dangerous to be out here so late at night.” You grin at him, a juxtaposition of his serious glare. 

“Well then it’s a good thing you’re out here with me.” Your reply earned you a quirk of his eyebrow along with a subtle shift in the tension in the air. Instantly, you knew he wasn’t angry with you, but when was he ever? Your smile only grew as he allowed you to drag him to the area you were planning on scouting, both eager to take on a camp of hillichurls. Throughout the night, the two of you fought flawlessly, filing in the gaps the other left, working together like perfectly fit puzzle pieces. By the time you felt an ounce of fatigue, the brilliance of the morning sun began to peek over the horizon. Sweat dripped from your forehead, the cool breeze doing nothing to calm the heat raging through your body. You glanced at Diluc, and the heat was doubled. He was just as sweaty as you were. Plastered to his forehead, his normally voluminous hair was drenched with the proof of his hard work. You barely had time to tear your eyes away as his red ones drifted towards you. His ungloved hand rested on your shoulder as the two of you began to make your way back towards Mondstat. When the sun had fully risen, outshining the moon, you finally made it back to the city you currently called home. Despite his place of residence being quite out of the way from where you were exploring, Diluc insisted on walking you back. During the journey, you noticed that the hand that previously found itself on your shoulder now found its place in your hand. Before the guards that stood before the opening of the city could notice the two of you, Diluc pulled his hand out of yours, with a noticeable degree of hesitance, and placed the now free hand on your head, praising you for you good work, before taking off to establish his presence at his place of work. You wore a bright smile while walking into Mondstadt. Against your better judgement, you walked straight up to Katheryne, insistent on completing your daily commissions. Sluggishly, you fought your way through the tasks you needed to do, saving the one closest to the Dawn Winery for last. You figured that it couldn’t hurt to check up on Diluc after your late night adventures together. You even planned to bring him a bowl of soup, though once you realized his maids probably already did that, you decided against it. As you finished your last commission, you were second guessing your visit. After helping out on multiple occasions, your presence at the Dawn Winery was always a welcome one, but you could not help but feel like you were overstepping a boundary when it came to visiting Diluc. When you reached the winery, you ultimately decided that you would ask around to determine if anyone required your assistance, and if you happened to bump into Diluc, well, you wouldn’t be complaining. As you pushed open the door, you were immediately greeted by the head maid’s frantic calling. 

“(Y/N)! It's a great thing you’re here!” She pulled you inside and began begging for your help. “The two new trainee’s have made a mess and are not capable of cleaning it up. If it isn’t too much of a bother, could you please see to it that the mess is taken care of?” Cleaning Diluc’s house was not what you had in mind for “assisting the workers of the winery,” but you weren’t going to complain, as you were the one who desired a job. You only hoped that you wouldn’t happen to run into Diluc. The maid gave you an apron and pointed out spots both on the carpet and the hardwood that you could easily get out with a little bit of elbow grease. It was only when you got on your hands and knees did you realize how tired you truly were, and how much fighting all night took a toll on you. Your soreness caught up to you when you finished the task. You almost didn’t register the voice directed at you.

“Thank you so much for your help- oh sweetheart, you got all dirty!” The maid exclaimed when she saw your disheveled figure. You chuckled sheepishly, hoping you don’t look as tired as you feel. She quickly continues, not giving you time to collect your reward and leave. “Here, let me run you a warm bath, I’ll give you proper thanks when you return.” 

“Ah, that won’t be necessary,” You tried to protest, but she didn’t give you a chance as she ushered you upstairs. 

“Master Diluc will not be home until later tonight, please use the master bath.” She shoved you in and shut the door before you had the chance to contradict her. You sighed and began to undress. As weird as it felt, you were going to take advantage of the generous offer. Muscles untensed and at ease, you washed yourself, taking great care to disinfect the scratches you received from your late night expedition. Invested in the comforting task, you began to hum to yourself, completely oblivious to the footsteps gradually becoming louder outside of the door. 

“Wait- Master Diluc!” Was all the warning you had before the door suddenly slammed open. Both you and Diluc were stunned for a moment, unable to process the situation playing out before your eyes. After a long moment of staring, you came to your senses and covered yourself, though the bubbles of your bath did well enough. At the same time, Diluc exited the room with haste, ensuring the door closed with a loud bang. A beat passed. Then another. When you had sufficiently calmed down from the surprise you were going to speak up, but the man behind the door started first with the clearing of his throat, resulting in a deep rumble.

“Sorry.” He mumbled from the opposite side of the door. You quickly dried yourself off and donned your clothes, carefully folding the apron lent to you. You opened the door, your second mistake. As soon as the door handle turned, the pressure on the other side caused it to swing open. Diluc, who was previously leaning on the door, barely managed to catch himself before toppling on top of you. The distance between you was non-existent when you reached out your hand to attempt to catch him. 

“I- I didn’t think you would be home so soon.” You started, your eyes everywhere but on him. Your statement did nothing to explain why you were even in his bathroom to begin with, you realize as you felt his direct gaze on you.The maid, having been a witness to the situation the whole time, finally decided to speak up.

“It’s my fault, Master Diluc.” She said as she bowed deeply despite his attention not being on her. Diluc turned to face her, prompting an extensive explanation. As she described the events that transcribed before his return, you let your eyes examine him. His blush was not un-noticeable. Your eyes drifted from his attentive face to his toned arms and down to his hands, that were still holding on to you. You realized the reason that you haven’t let go of him is that he hasn’t let go of you either. Soon after the maid was finished, he fixed his lax posture and removed himself from your arms. He cleared his throat again.

“Thank you for the explanation.” Without turning to face you, he directed his next statement to you. “(y/n), if you would, follow me.” He instructed, not awaiting a response as he latched on to your hand and dragged you from the bathroom. Your mind ran through all of the possibilities of what he could be doing. This could be the end of your friendship. He could kick you out right now and tell you he never wanted to see you again. He could hate you. He could do anything, but what he did do was not anything you expected. You stopped in front of the door to his room, and gently, he ushered you inside. Only after he sat you on the edge of his bed did you begin to verbally question his motives.

“Dliuc, wha-” You were unable to utter another word as he gave you a vague answer as to his intentions.

“Your hair is still wet.” He mumbled, settling himself behind you and bringing a brush to your hair. Oh. It felt good. You held back a satisfied sigh as he continued the comforting motion. “Hearing you call this place home, like you live here,” He spoke after an extended period of silence, only filled by the sound of a brush smoothing your hair, and the exchange of breaths between the two of you. He paused, as if waiting for a response from you.

“Go on.” You whispered under your breath, not wanting to ruin the moment. 

“Hearing you call my home “your home” made me feel,” He took another pause. You waited with bated breath. “Happy,” He finished with a thoughtful sigh. You could hear the smile in his voice, bringing to light a smile of your own. You didn’t stop yourself from leaning back into him, and he didn’t stop himself from holding on to you. As your breathing slowed to match his rhythm, you could not keep your mind from dwelling on his statement. With him, you were home. 

You were unaware of the time, and you weren’t even sure when you fell asleep, but you were acutely aware of how the arms you fell asleep in kept you still and warm throughout the night. You could not turn to face him; at some point in the night, Diluc had leaned you back and flipped his duvet over the two of you, keeping you back held securely to his chest with his arms around your waist. You could feel his warm breath keeping your uncovered neck from freezing. He shifted in his spot, and you began to mentally prepare yourself for the loss of comfort, but the redhead latched onto you never left. He only sighed in his sleep, a pyro-infused breath settling back on your exposed skin. Thanks to his convenient, slight change in position, Diluc’s grasp on you was loose enough for you to turn and face him. You were met face to face with the normally stoic man’s relaxed features. His lips upturned in an almost unnoticeable smile as one of the hands around your waist unconsciously moved to your upper back. You pressed a chaste kiss to the tip of his nose, your hand hovering over his cheek too scared to wake him. You latched onto him as he was to you, a hand finding its way tangled in his hair, and the other pulling him close. It didn’t take long for you to fall back asleep, lulled to peace by the soft breaths and unintelligible mumbles from your sweetheart.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

bestie how was your show?!!!? You went to france, yeah??

Omg this is the first time I’ve scrolled tumblr longer than two minutes in weeks 😂

My show was AMAZING! Incredible, awesome, awe-inspiring, life-changing, etc. Seeing it live is just such a wonder to behold. My three friends who went with me are not Swifties and two of them said it might have been the best concert they ever went to and one of those said she might have been converted to being a pit-lover like I am. (The other powered through it like a champ 😂 but she was also the one who asked if she could go with me so she knew what she was signing up for 😂)

I meant to do a recap after the show if only to preserve my own memories, but I’ve visited like five other cities since then so I haven’t had time to stop and breathe let alone collect my thoughts! And I’m still not done lol. It’s been a busy few weeks!

I will say though, the stadium security situation did leave a really sour taste in my mouth and is a big reason friend number 3 I think didn’t enjoy it all that much. Not enough to affect my experience of the show itself, because it was incredible, but everything outside of it was total garbage. It was the worst organization experience I’ve ever seen (and I’m including major outdoor festivals and sports events in that!) and wildly unsafe. I’m honestly surprised nobody got seriously injured. It was chaos. (Like, fans lining up were getting info from other fans and not from stadium staff… I had to act as translator between a Brit and a French person at one point when people were trying to figure out what was going on with our line. An actual fight nearly broke out next to me between two people because there was line cutting because nobody knew what was going on. Eventually the crowd actually stampeded the gate and we got pushed with them. With zero staff around. And that was just before the show.)

For a venue that I understand is hosting some Olympic events in a few weeks I’m… skeptical of their ability to handle crowds lol. (And I’m saying this as someone who HAS attended Olympic events in the past!!! 😂) and there is no reason it should be that bad!!! It’s a relatively new stadium with wide concourses and a transit station at the foot of the door but it was just so poorly done and absolutely zero communication from staff. I could go into detail but nobody would really care, but suffice to say, I understand why Taylor is so vigilant on stage.

(I will say *inside* the venue seemed fine, though again zero presence of staff. Like nobody in the pit got crushed. Taylor did pipe in a few times for help but couldn’t see anything serious. It was the outside concourse and exits and crowd control before and after the show that were unmanageable and dangerous.)

Hopefully once I’m home I can better communicate how the show itself was, but one thing I couldn’t get over is how Taylor works the crowd. I was in the pit (I know it’s not everyone’s favourite but I LOVE attending concerts in the pit because I love how immersive it is) and probably at least 20 people deep away from the stage, and even though I know Taylor couldn’t see me, it feels like she’s looking right at you. She makes a stadium full of 60k people feel like you’re in an intimate coffee house setting at times. Yet at others you’re aware that you are in the presence of a superstar. When you’re in a stadium before showtime the stage seems so small compared to the scale of the venue, but she comes on and commands the entirety of it. It’s WILD.

Also, the production as a whole is amazing. The band and the dancers stand out so much. I saw Jan working the room and winking at someone in front of me. I saw the Starlights doing their thing. I caught sight of Paul jamming. It’s a whole damn thing.

I’m pretty sure I got one of your favourite songs as one of my surprise songs too 😂 never mind I was wrong for some reason I thought it was Run but it was Everything Has Changed oops 😂

I can’t pick a favourite moment because the whole thing was incredible. But TTPD goes super fucking hard live omg.

So maybe this is a recap after all! 😂 tl;dr Eras is amazing and absolutely worth the trouble of getting to… but I’m not sure I’d attend another show at this venue lol. (I’d happily return to Lyon as a city though!) Taylor really is in a league of her own and anyone who thinks she’s “mid” has never seen her spin her magic in person because there’s no way to deny her showmanship when she’s right in front of you.