#i can't feel my eyeballs anymore this is so red

[zhouxiangs]

PORSCHE TANATHORN as Sol in MY STAND-IN (2024) | Episode 3

[radio-writes]

I'll go with:

"You win"

"Why should I stay?"

"And what will you do? Run from me?"

It Seems the Devil and I Walked Hand in Hand

300 Followers Event

Warnings: Forced cannibalism, gore, murder, stockholm syndrome

Tags: Alastor x reader, GN reader, yandare, reader goes insane, dead dove do not eat

MDNI

A humid breeze blew through your hair, the putrid stench of Hell carried with it. Somewhere in the distance, something—whatever it may be this time—exploded, prompting usual screams of terror.

But your heart fluttered, eyes fixated on your friend next to you. You sat side by side with them, on a random hilltop the two of you stumbled upon. It was quiet, but barely out of the chaos of the main pentagram. 

"What? What is it?" They laughed as they finally called you out on your staring.

You almost swooned as their warm brown eyes met yours. "You just have the prettiest set of eyes in all of Hell, that's all."

You had been so proud of that. So happy about how smooth you were at the delivery. Giddy about the blush that crept onto your friend's face.

The same warm brown eyes—Hell's prettiest, as Alastor so kindly reminded you—stared back at you now. 

Unseeing.

Without its owner's head anywhere near.

On a plate placed before you.

Your blood felt like ice as you hung your head low. Unable to think. Unable to feel. Unable to breathe, maybe, you weren't really sure anymore.

"Afraid I might have gotten carried away, dear. I was absolutely starving since you stood me up on our lunch meeting." Alastor's tone was as bright and cheerful as it always was—you could almost argue that it was even happier now. "Of course, I did save you their eyes. I knew how much you just loved them."

He continued on, sighing and swooning about this and that. How it had been a while since he had such a satisfying meal. How it was all thanks to you for leading him to it. How he can't wait to meet more of your friends—if you ever managed to make any after the show he put on for you.

But you sat still, mind unable to comprehend what actually sat in front of you. Alastor might as well have been talking from three rooms away for all you heard from him. His voice almost sounding like it came from underwater, barely able to pierce through the fog in your head.

It was only when the demon who sat across from you stabbed a fork through an eyeball on your plate, did your senses come back. Like a flipped switch, you could hear well again, in time to hear the disgusting squish of the organ, blood and fluids spilling as it was stabbed.

"Don't let it go cold now, my dear. I went through so much trouble to get them intact and still warm for you." Alastor smiled as he sat across you.

One of his elbows rested on the table, hand cradling his cheek as you met his gaze. The gleeful, cold red eyes sickened you much more than the gore he held up. He raised the fork to you. Your friend's eye at the end of it. "Say Aaah~"

You pressed your lips together. Whether to resist the cruel torture, or to keep the bile from coming out, you were unsure. 

Like a stubborn child, you shook your head, arms pushing against the table to get up from your seat. Alastor was behind you in seconds, dissolving and rematerializing through shadows faster than you could blink.

"Nuh uh, dearest. We don't waste good food in this Hotel. What would the papers say if they find out we throw away such scarce resource?" He pressed his body against the back of your chair, securing you back at the table with an easy push.

He leaned over your shoulder, long arms reached around you. You stared as his clawed hands planted themselves on the table in front of you, caging you in, framing that horrid plate.

You felt his breath by your ear, that horribly familiar static prickled your skin, before you heard him speak. "You know, I'm starting to think you like how your friends taste."

You swallowed against your dry throat, eyes wide. Every breath you took was shallow as you tried to shake your head only to be met with a mocking laugh.

"No? Come now, why lie, my dear? It's only us here." Alastor leaned closer over you. The heat of his body inescapable. "This is the third friend this month. Even a child would have learned by now." 

"I'm all you need, darling. Everyone else is just cattle." His voice distorted as he spoke, a threat, a promise, you knew from experience that he'd deliver on.

Faintly you could feel the weight of metal around your neck. It wasn't physically there, no. After all, it's been a while since you've given him a reason to summon that chain. But it never really ever felt absent, specially at times like this.

You sighed in resignation, and braced yourself for that familiar horrible taste. Your hands clenched into fists on your lap—a sight that delighted the demon behind you.

"You win." You said softly. Numbly, you parted your lips, mind wandering away as you let Alastor slide the fork into your slack mouth. You ignored what it was you were chewing, letting your body function through the motions as you fought to keep your thoughts else were. 

You felt a large hand pat your head, bringing you back to the present in time to hear Alastor's praise. "What a good pet you make, my dear."

The plate before you was empty now, Alastor's looming figure having retreated away from your shaking one, back in his seat in front of you.

The horrible rotten taste still lingered in your mouth, but you didn't bother to ask for something to wash it away. You simply stood up, ready to run to your room and force yourself to throw up—again.

"Hm? Running from me now, are we?" Alastor's brows raised as he watched you. "Not that you can, I own you, after all." 

You suspected his words were less of a reminder for you, and more on just him loving to say them.

"And why should I stay?" Your words seemed argumentative, but your tone and the hunch of your shoulders were anything but. "I've already finished my punishment."

"I would say it was more of a treat, really. You have no idea how much I wanted to eat those." He laughed, not really minding that you just stared back blankly at him.

"Besides, you've yet to pay me back for leaving me waiting at Rosie's. So come, sit." An invitation to most, an order to you.

So sat you did. You ignored the smudges of blood on the plate still in front of you. You ignored the bitter taste the that lingered in your mouth. You ignored the growing numbness spreading from your chest to the rest of your limbs.

You ignored yourself.

Mindlessly, you nodded along to whatever gossip Alastor had, almost immediately, began sharing with you.

Alastor's hold on you had tightened in the past few months. Not only had he pulled you away from the people at the hotel—you were apparently terribly ill, contagious, but fine under his care—but he had also confiscated your phone and TV.

The window in your room was also simply magicked away. He didn't want you getting any funny ideas of leaving him again, after all.

At first you were fine with it. You had a few books in your room, anyway. But after the first two weeks, you've already finished most of them.

Still, they kept you entertained for a little longer after that; you didn't really mind rereading them—for the fourth time, you think.

But then you had that fight with Alastor. You had asked for your phone back, desperate to know what was going on outside your room. Desperate to listen to your music. Desperate to hear another voice aside from your own.

Alastor merely waved off your concern. He let you keep his radio after all. You could simply listen to him. He talked about current events, and played music, and broadcasted all sorts of screams voices. You didn't need anything else.

He didn't quite take it nicely when you had spat that it wasn't enough.

In the fray that followed, your books were lost. Torn to shreds in seconds.

But no matter, you had thought. You still had some paper, a pencil, some paint. While you weren't the best artist around, you doodled the hours away, anyway. Coloring, sketching, filling out every plain, empty gap on the papers you had.

You were quickly running out of material, though. You'd repeatedly ask Alastor to get you more paper, another pencil, even an eraser, every time he came by. But all he kept saying was that he forgot to fetch some, and that he will surely do so next time.

You were always disappointed, but knew better than to start another fight. You didn't want to risk destroying what little paint you had left, after all.

You had began to doodle on your walls. Counting the little details on the wallpaper, even each and crack along your way. You had drawn everything you ever knew existed; from characters you used to liked when you were alive to a freaking sock on the floor. 

The friends he made you eat.

Hastily covered with a drawing of a deer.

By his next visit, Alastor was appalled by the state of your room. He didn't quite appreciate your vandalism. He promptly snapped his fingers and the walls were replaced. Your drawings gone, the wallpaper gone, even the cracks were gone. It was now just a smooth red surface. 

He had taken away the paint, not that there was much left at that point. You thought it was fair anyway, considering you did draw on the walls like an irresponsible child.

You tried cleaning too, just to keep your mind going, your body moving. But no, no, no. Alastor couldn't have his dear friend, and a valued hotel guest, doing such menial labor. 

He easily cleaned the room for you, not a speck of dust left. Barely any furniture left too—he had found them tacky, apparently.

At that point all you had to look forward to were Alastor's visits. Constant, they were. He insisted he brought you your food personally, of course.

You had been suspicious about what he was feeding you, even once outright questioning what you were eating.

He had laughed. "Unless you made any new friends from this room, I can assure you, you aren't eating any sinners, my dear."

You weren't sure how much his assurance was worth, but food was one of the only two things you actually had here. You didn't feel like giving that up, too.

You hated him. Hated him for keeping you here. Hated him for ignoring all your pleas to be let out.

You hated him, but still found yourself jumping from your bed as soon as you heard the door handle rattle. 

You hated him, but him coming to visit meant you had something to do.

The radio by your bed, and Alastor's frequent visits were all you had left.

The isolation was driving you insane, broken only whenever Alastor wanted to.

Alastor was driving you insane, but without him you were completely isolated.

Your sanity felt like a candle burning at both ends, melting far too fast for you to keep it together. You didn't know anymore which torture you preferred. Alastor's presence or absence?

At least, that was a few weeks back.

Because it wasn't like you needed to choose now.

Your food had been appearing on your side table every meal time, instead of coming in carried by the familiar demon.

The radio beside you had been silent for a long while now. Not one terrified scream, not one jazzy tune, not even empty static. 

And of course, Alastor himself hadn't come in to see you in weeks.

You think it's been weeks, at least. He took the clock with him last time he cleaned.

No, there was no need to pick your poison anymore. Alastor had chosen for you.

At first, you had been bitter. How dare he ignore you—or did he forget about you? God, no, he wouldn't. Right? —how dare he not even check in to see if you were even still alive.

How dare he not visit.

And then, you were worried. It was one thing for him not to pop in on you, another thing entirely to miss his shows. He'd never miss an opportunity to broadcast fear over Pride Ring, but your radio had been quiet this whole time. What was keeping him, then? Was he hurt? Was he okay?

Then, and you think it was the worst of them all, you started to miss him. From the moment you woke from restless slumber, your eyes fixated on the door handle, begging it to turn. Your chest ached, praying to hear his silly staticy voice again, even if it was just senseless gossip.

You felt like screaming, begging, pounding on the door for him to visit you. But you knew he wouldn't like that. No, if the others in the hotel found out, Alastor would likely never visit you ever again. 

So you kept to your bed. Your days spent glaring down at the door in desperation, switching only to the radio to do the same, for hours on end. Every little shift you made, the sheets moving under you, felt so deafeningly loud in the empty room.

It was almost maddening.

"My dear, I have a task for you." Alastor's cheery voice spoke up by your ear.

Your eyes snapped open, greeted by the sight of the demon leaning over your head.

"Nothing too difficult, just a little grocery shopping." He continued on as if he hadn't left you to rot.

You didn't care, nor did you register what his words meant. No, the first thing your body jumped to, your mind went to, was that Alastor was here.

"Al!" The glee in your voice unrestricted as you pushed your sheets away and threw your arms around him. The relief, the absolute refreshment, of feeling another warm body against you again was almost heavenly.

A soft hand patted at your shoulder as he awkwardly stayed there. "Well, good morning to you too, sweetheart." He laughed.

You sat up, eyes wide as you leaned away and took him in. Unmistakably, a very welcomed sight.

He told you about the chore he needed done, truly very simple. Just a literal grocery list. But you held onto every word, every charming staticy syllable falling from his lips as if he was preaching your religion. 

You were determined to memorize it all, not just to complete the task but to simply engrave his voice in your head.

You were so thankful to finally hear something other than your creaky bed. To finally be having a conversation again. To feel human.

It hadn't even click for you that you will finally be heading out.

You were quick in getting the task done, determined to get back to Alastor as fast as you could.

You hadn't notice how your skin thawed in the outside heat compared to the icy room you've been locked in. You hadn't paid mind to everyone's greetings around you. You didn't care for all the flashing lights, and tasty smells, and loud music and laughter and screams around you as finished you little assignment.

You wanted to get things done so you could be by the familiar demon again. His presence almost felt like a drug you've been deprived off for so long, that it physically irked you to be away.

And that's how it was from then on.

You were given a new room at the hotel. Alastor had replaced all the books he destroyed because he just felt so guilty. He had also finally remembered to buy you all those papers and art supplies you asked him to get you. And he had even returned your phone and television to you.

Not that you cared for any of those. You've spent most of your time in Alastor's room anyway, unable to stand a second without hearing his voice. 

You'd cling onto every word he'd say, attentive, obsessed.

Your eye would twitch every time he'd mention someone, anyone. Part of you irritated that he had spent time with someone else other than you. Even more so that he cared enough to remember their name. To say their name.

Soon you not only clung onto his words, but onto him as well. Unable to stand that others spent time with him when you could not. You'd miss meals, miss sleep, drop whatever you were doing to follow him wherever he went. To stay by Alastor's side. 

When he forbade you from doing so, you would follow in secret, or have your own little ways to spy on him. To know what he was doing.

The few times you were away from your owner's side, you could be found standing over a dead sinner. Maybe someone who touched him, maybe someone he mentioned, maybe someone who simply glanced at him for far too long for your liking. Regardless, they were all equally deserving of death in your eyes. How dare they.

Alastor knew of these, of course. And while he was quickly growing suffocated by your constant overbearing presence, he hadn't really bothered to say much.

He still preferred this—this grotesque reflection of his own affections for you—over your defiant little attitude before.

His last straw, however, was now. When you stood over yet another sinner. The light gone from their eyes as you still, repeatedly, shot at their corpse.

The green chain appeared in his clenched fist for the first time in a long while. The collar snapped shut around your neck, but you hadn't even noticed until he gave it a harsh yank.

You were pulled to the side, stumbling over the body by your feet. You looked up, confused, to see Alastor snarling down at you.

"I needed him alive, dear." He said, his annoyance barely kept under control.

"He touched you." You merely replied, as if it was the worst offense, worst sin, in Hell.

"Because we were making a deal, you stupid pest!" Alastor hissed through his teeth, but you merely blinked at him as if you didn't see his point still.

You stood up straighter, keeping your eyes on him. Always on him.

He was so beautiful, so perfect. Everything you needed.

Why had you ever wanted to find anyone more?

"But he still held your hand."

"I'll touch who I want to touch. Do not forget who holds the leash here." His eyes narrowed, chain pulling taught between you.

You smiled at him, loving the way his voice sounded when he was getting angry. It rarely happened now considering how good you were for him, but oh, did it sound like music to you.

Your hands lifted to softly run your hands through the chain by your neck. "You do, of course. I don't question that."

"I need you, Al." You added, soft, almost loving expression on your face as your adored his furious red eyes. "And while I can't force you to stay with me, alone. I can simply just get rid of everyone else. I can be your only one, if I'm the only one left."

"So you've finally flew off the handle, dearest?" His question seemed genuine, not at all in jest.

But you laughed anyway, as if it was the funniest thing ever. "And what if I have?" You grinned at him. "What will you do? Run from me?"

Your fingers gripped the chain suddenly, yanking yourself forward, closer to him. You feel his pull against the chain as well, not to bring you close but simply to keep hold of it. To keep hold of his control over you.

Your eyes lowered, admiring him from up close now. The flicker of uncertainty in his eyes was new, and you couldn't wait to see more new things from him now that you're so devastatingly devoted to him.

"You own me, remember? I'm here forever."

[rekino2114]

Blind date with Veronika grebenshchikova

Pairing:Veronika grebenshchikova x male reader

A/n: episode 12 was great, Charles was the mvp and it ended on a pretty big cliffhanger. We also got to see this Veronika quote:

(I love her so much)

Anyway I have an announcement to make starting today I will be doing a weekly drdt post every Saturday until chapter 2 is finished (I know the episodes come out on Friday but they actually come out at 1 am where I live) next Saturday will actually be the first genderbent post about this fandom (you can probably guess who it's gonna be)

This is kinda inspired by red flags by Tom Cardy and montaigne (with a twist), I put it here if you wanna listen to it, i know i'm not the first person to say this but that song is just Veronika (sorry for the really long note)

Veronika got set up on a blind date by her classmates ,mostly because they were tired of her creeping them out and wanted to pass that burden on someone else, so they asked whit to match her with someone and he chose you.

You waited at the table that you booked for you and the girl you were supposed to meet, you were slightly nervous about the date, mostly because you were scared your date would be put off by you as it's not the first time that happened but the ultimate matchmaker matched you together so you had hope.

You saw a red haired girl enter the restaurant and approach your table

"Hey, are you y/n l/n by any chance?"

"Yeah are you Veronika?"

She smiled and sat down across from you

"Yep, it's great to meet you"

"You too, I really dig your look, those fake eyeballs look amazing"

"Oh thanks so much, you're actually the first person to say that"

"Really? That's a shame, they're great"

"I think it kinda spooks people"

"Well I don't get spooked easily"

"*giggle* well then I think this date might go better than I thought"

You started talking for a bit until a waiter arrived to take your orders

"Oh I'll take a stake,very rare,I want to see the blood"

"I was about to order the same thing"

"Oh really?"

"Yes I love seeing blood in what I eat"

"Same!!"

Your waiter got very freaked out and left as you continued talking

"So what's your favorite movie?"

"Oh......it's human centipede"

"Huh? Really?"

"Yes I know it's weird but-"

"That's my favorite movie too"

"........what?"

"Yes I love seeing all the body horror and the fear on the actors faces its amazing"

"...do you like scream too?"

"I have a Ghostface mask in my closet so I can prank my friends"

"Saw?"

"I also have a Billy the puppet doll there"

"Halloween?"

"Micheal Myers is my lock screen"

".......marry me"

".....what?"

"Sorry if I'm too forward, but I think we might be soulmates. You know how I said I go to Hope's peak"

"Yeah I was wondering what ultimate you were"

"Weeeeel let me introduce myself formally, I am Veronika grebenshchikova the ultimate horror fanatic"

"....really?"

"Yes I adore all things horror and I see that I have found a kindred spirit"

"Absolutely, I love horror too, I didn't know Hope's peak considered that a talent if I did I would have probably asked to join"

"This is amazing, you're the only person I know who has a love for horror other than me, now I see why paired us together"

You continued to talk about horror movies and eat, and after eating dessert(feeding each other the red jam in the cake to make it seem like blood) you walked Veronika home, who very happily accepted another date.

[Timeskip]

Some time after your date Veronika is talking with her classmates in the cafeteria

"Y/n is the sweetest guy ever, do you know what he did for me yesterday? He carved my name with a heart on a tree in a graveyard so romantic"

"....how is that romantic?"

"That's just disgusting and unsanitary"

"Soooooo I did well matching you together didn't I?"

"100%, we've been dating for only a few days but I already feel soooo happy and in love"

"Well at least she won't bother me anymore"

"Says the guy who can't leave j alone for more than 5 minutes"

"Shut up"

Everyone got distracted by the door opening, and you coming out of it, especially Veronika who immediately tackled you into a hug

"Darling, what are you doing here? Don't get me wrong, I love that you visited me, but you're not a student"

"Well now I am actually, I asked if I could "share" your talent since I love horror as much as you and they said yes"

Veronika squealed happily and peppered your face in kisses

"That's amazing now we can spend even more time together, I have to show you my dorm it's full of horror stuff I know you'll love"

"I can't wait to see it"

As you two walked away happily a look of horror appeared on teruko and Arturo's faces

"Awww how cute, seeing happy couples like these is why I love thi- ow! What was that for?"

"You idiot, do you understand what you did, now there's two horror psychopaths in this school"

"All of the heart attacks Veronika gives us daily are gonna be doubled"

"Weeeeel, she didn't really do anything scary to me before. In fact, you two seem to be the ones she likes pranking the most, so I suggest you prepare yourselves"

".........fuck......."

[taylorswiftstylequestions]

Hi Sarah! I want to tell you (now that we have 1989tv to look forward to) the og 1989 era was also when I first found TSS. Despite having been in the fandom since the SN / RED in-between phase, 1989 was when I really started getting into the fandom of it all and getting to know all you wonderful ppl, so this is a really special emotional re-recording moment for me, and I just wanted to thank you for always being here for us through it all. Even tho I don’t know you personally I consider you a dear friend after all these years🥹🩵

Besties we are not doing this because 1989 (TV) is not out for 2.5 months and I can't start every day with twigs in my eyeballs I JUST CAN'T.

But also to indulge in the ~feelings~ of it all - I obviously have a lot of sentimental attachment to the 1989 era as a whole and it's so interesting to me because as someone whose first full album release was actually Fearless, it was so heartwarming to see how many people my age and who have been fans for so long had their first album release be Speak Now and all the nostalgia and rushing to a CD store (quaint) and getting their first Taylor CD in their hands.

For me, 1989 in a lot of ways was like a second life and that second "this is my first time" release because it was like I was coming into my own and my life in new ways. Can't explain it - just feels. I still have so many visceral, vivid sense memories of where I was and what I was doing and what I was wearing when certain 1989 outfit candids came out. And obviously the Secret Session of it all.

Anyway! WE CAN'T DO THIS ANYMORE. STOP BEING CUTE. I BEG.

🥹🩵

[miyos-multiverse-express]

Pelipper mail! To Tohru!

A nightmare! Its not yours!

You're in the drama club room, cleaning as many surfaces as you can, sorting as many props as you can, blaring vocaloid from your phone, all to drown out your thoughts.

You don't like being alone with your thoughts. They just remind you how nothing is permanent, how useless you are without your Persona, how badly you miss him, how you don't even know you are anymore. There's also the matter of how the silhouette on the Midnight Channel looks a lot like you, which your brain has been tormenting you with. But its not like you'll get kidnapped. At least, you hope not. And even if you did, it can't be as bad as last time... right? Right.

A knock at the door reminds you why you were staying after today in the first place. Right, you needed to sign for some theater props. You rush to the door, leaving your phone on the desk, and answer it.

"I'm Akira Kurusu, I'm supposed to sign for the theater props." Its funny how naturally that name fell off your tongue. Sometimes you catch yourself wondering if you would forget your real name.

The delivery man looked a bit shocked, before nodding. "Of course it would be you."

Huh. Weird way to say that.

The man hands you a clipboard, before asking you to "Sign here."

You freeze for a moment, your wrists beginning to ache, and you blink away visions of a police officer in uniform in a grey interrogation room.

The man nods, and asks you a question. "Hey, could you do me a favor and help me move the box here? My buddy's out sick, and you look strong enough to carry it."

You nod. "Of course I can."

You prop open the door with a rock, so you don't lock yourself out, before heading to the truck.

The man tells you that "you'll know the box when you see it", which isn't very helpful.

You enter the back of the truck, and notice that you, in fact, do not know the box when you see it. Oddly enough, there seemed to be a TV in there as well.

You turn around to ask which box you're supposed to get, before you hear the truck door close and lock shut, as the light from outside completely disappears. Your eyes widen, and you hear the man's voice. "Sorry, I can't let you leave. I need to save you."

"Eat shit," you respond, before charging at him. Unfortunately, you trip over a box, and land pretty badly on your arm. Ow. You also feel something fall out of your pockets. Hopefully it wasn't anything important.

You flick on Third Eye, and are helpfully informed by the red outline that the man is more powerful than you. Thanks, magical eyeball power.

You roll and scramble to your feet, dodging the man's swipe at you, before you jab him in the kidney and rush to the door.

Your hands reach your pockets, and you realize that the thing that fell out of your pockets was important, it was all your lockpicks. Shit. You rattle the handle uselessly. Fucking fantastic. A Phantom Thief foiled by a fucking locked door.

In a last ditch attempt to get out of this situation, you bang and the door and scream. "HELP—HELP ME I'M—mmmmphhh!"

You can feel some sort of cloth covering your nose and mouth, and you smell nothing but chemicals. It burns into your nose and eyes, and you can feel everything getting dizzy and fuzzy.

Yet you still struggle with everything you have, trying to get this fucking rag off your face. Though, it was pretty useless, as your arms and legs started feeling more and more like jelly. After a couple more seconds, your legs give out from under you, and you hit the ground. You start to lose consciousness, but before you do, you see the face of the delivery man, and you think you recognize him. Wasn't he that city council secretary...?

It doesn't really matter. Everything goes black shortly after.

Tohru: (shitfuck damn it why did it have to be about fucking Namatame-)

Miyo: You, uh. You good?

Tohru: (having flashbacks please hold.)

Miyo: What - OH RIGHT. Uh. Physical contact yes/no?

Tohru: (Mmmm yes I think.)

[bellarkeselection]

Hi! 👋. Could you do a Klaus imagine where the Reader is living with the Mikaelsons for a long time, Reader and Klaus like each other but doesn't express it to each other, but all the other Mikaelsons know that they like each other. So Rebekah sets them up on a surprise date ( Rebekah and the Reader are best friends) . The Reader is a vampire. Thank you for writing. I love ur fics ❤❤

Hidden Expresses

Entering the Mikaelson compound I feel eyes staring at me so I glanced over my shoulder seeing Klaus eyeing me before he drank some beer from a glass. A smirk on his lips seeing me looking his direction. "Close your mouth love. You might droll on that shirt." He spoke pulling me from my gaze, as I felt my cheeks staring to turn red so I spun around so he could only see my back again. For the past few years I've been living with the Mikaelson family in New Orleans. When I was turned into a vampire by my best friend Rebekah after a werewolf bite me I soon realized I couldn't resist my feelings for a certain Mikaelson anymore.

Klaus sips from his glass watching you go upstairs to your room never looking back at him. It drives him completely mad that you didn't change when you became a vampire, all of who you used to be was there. The girl he fell in love with, hopelessly in love with. "You know you'd actually get somewhere if you stopped eyeballing her and instead told her how you felt Nik." Rebekah entered the room making him role his eyes. "It's safer if she doesn't know little sister." He replied leaving the room. Rebekah put her hands on her hips getting annoyed with the two of you. Elijah and Kol were the same way. The two of you just wouldn't admit that you like each other.

Someone knocks on my door and I called out reading the Twilight series and finding barely anything in common with real vampires in this book. Rebekah stepped in my room opening my closet and pulling out a dress. "Y/n, we're going out tonight." She tossed me the orange dress and I slowly changed into it. "Bex why are we going out exactly?" I asked as we walked down the street with the moon above our heads. After walking for a little bit we ended up out at the bayou seeing a table with food and drinks for two on it. Footsteps approach in the distance so I spun on my heels showing my fangs only to see Klaus wearing a dress shirt and pants, confusion written on his face. Why is he here. Rebekah what are you doing.

"Little sister what have you tricked us into?" He asked stepping closer towards us his blue eyes flickered from me to my best friend. "You two are being infuriating with the looks at each other. The rest of us can't take all the hidden romance. So you're going to have this date and deal with your problem or I'll shove a dagger in your back Nik." She huffed throwing her arms up before vampiing off into the woods. I tried to not stare at the hybrid before me but failed only to see him eyeing me up and down before holding out an open hand. "Shall we, Y/n." Putting my hand in his he helps me sit down then goes to his seat staring at me. "I can't believe Bex's cooked up this crazy plan. I mean like a date in the middle of the woods." I blurted out seeing him raise a brow at me. "Are you saying you wouldn't have agreed if say I'd asked you?"

Tilting my head down I feel my cheeks get red even though vampires can't really do that. "No I didn't mean it - of course I would've if you - I like you - uh." I couldn't form a damn sentence and he chuckled shacking his head with a smile. "I'm just teasing, love. I must say though I'm not annoyed by your company. It's actually rare for you be exactly the same girl you were when you were human." Taking a sip from my glass I tasted some fancy wine staring into those blue eyes. "Nik, don't laugh or call me stupid for saying this but - before I was turned I had a small crush on you and now it's grown bigger..." I slowly admitted spinning my daylight ring on my finger waiting for his response.

He gets to his feet walking over to my side of the table pulling me to my feet and at this point I expect him to laugh or run at me just confessing my feelings. But instead he cupped my face in his hands leaning down kissing me and I gasped remembering the times I would dream this would happen and now it's for real. Slowly wrapping my arms around his neck I kiss him back playing with the hair on the back of his neck. He tugs me forward to his chest wrapping his arms around my waist. We broke the kiss even though we didn't need air for me to see a smile on his face as he whispered resting his forehead onto mine. "I love you too, Y/n with all my heart. If you wouldn’t mind I'd like to make up for lost time." I stuttered out lightly blushing. "What about Bex she'll come looking?" He shakes his head lifting me up into his arms vamping us into an old cabin that is obandin now. "She won't find us out here and if she does I'm sure she'll be thrilled." He breaths out laying me on a bed after removing his shirt kissing me once more. My hands tangled themselves in his hair deepening the kiss thinking in my head, thank you Rebekah.

Comments really appreciated ❤️

[ndkdndkdjdkdjkddjdl]

Prince stays in an entire other section of the castle. No one else is here other then him. He tries his best to be careful and avoids knocking stuff over. The only times he visits Siren is when given permission, otherwise he doesn't step foot in the Castle's main section. Sometimes Skip would walk over and visit him! She usually startles him, but he doesn't mind. He doesn't touch her often but Siren taught her how to stroke her head. At times, if she allows him, he'd take his finger and lightly pet the top of her head, Siren told him it's ok.

He's used to being alone, it doesn't really bother him in the slightest. But to his surprise, he gets checked up on at times. He'd swore that he has seen the faint eyeball located in the main section of the castle, looking at him from a distance. The next moment it was gone though. Looked almost as if.. it has a jester-type silhouette..? He thought for a second, and remembered that Siren had told him about a new security demon who recently revealed itself to everyone.

Siren said the new demon was here all along, ever since Aurora's arrival. Siren mentioned how "Jesse" was always watching everyone secretly.

Prince wondered if Jesse ever watched him.

Prince pov:

Its windy today. Doesn't bother me though! i can easily turn my temperature-feeling ability off. All demons can..i think.

The castle has three main sections; the left, middle, and right. the left and right are mostly filled with any other stuff. First floor has a majority of entertainment..i think. Second floor would be bedrooms! LOTS of bedrooms.. and the third floor, my favorite one honestly. it's not really a floor a guess, its a bunch of small towers? something like that. I can see the entire kingdom from up here..its beautiful. It's extremely calming up here aswell. I come during the night so i cant get spotted. Well, it's not like I'd get spotted anyways, or, thats what Finley told me at least, wait, "Fin". I can call him Fin. He said his friends call him that! Then said i can call him that,, Fin.

There are these mini bridges on the second floor that connect the middle section of the castle, with the sides. I was given the entire second floor and third..."floor" of the wholw right side. Its really cozy here, i dont remember how long ive been staying, it's been a long while. I haven't seen the two Foraster brothers either, nor Fin, which is completely ok. They're busy, and im glad im not bothering them in any way.

Its 7pm, im normally not awake this early. Yea, 'early'.. my sleeping times are, well, im nocturnal. Its safer that way. I dont even wake up many days, I've sleep for over a week before. I think Skip thought i was dead because she started meowing....

I dont sleep for over a week anymore.

I heard a squeak behind me and turned around, startled once again. Things easily startle me. Im still extremely anxious about being in this world, i know nothing about it, but,.. people would say its way.. safer, and "glorious"? Well in reality, its terrifying. I really dont want to get caught,,

Anyways, back to the noise-

oh-! its a bat.. I thought to myself, a bit calmer. Well, way calmer.

That didn't last though.

I got closer and noticed how....shadowy the figure is,, the eyes were bright, glowy red. it looked as if the bat was almost....smiling..?

Thats.....oh. Thats not a bat, well, vampires kindof.. are.. bats..

i suppose..-,,

I stared at it for a second. "Siren..?" I tilted my head a little.

He looked at me, it almost seemed as if he smiled a bit more. I can't actually see the mouth because well, hes completely shadowy. I can just tell from the way the eyes squinted.

The bat, shadow, thingy, spreaded its wings a bit and hopped down. Vampire bats are bigger then the normal bat but, Siren looked,, bigger then before,,? Well its been a while but-

--

He hopped down and shifted into the more, humanoid-shaped shadow body.

"Guess again, buddy."

The silhouette had long hair on the side. I noticed that behind his head was shadowy hair that looked like it was..tied up.

oh.

"Xander" i... whispered. Ok i meant to be a bit louder or at least sound somewhat confident but uhm,, yeah..

I tried again.

"h-hey Xander.!! how.. how've you been-?"

I can hear the fear through my voice, damn this is.. embarrassing..

He shapeshifted out of the shadowy form, it's like a bunch of smoke poofing away! Kindof satisfying to look at,,

Xander: "hm.. im doing well! came to ask you that actually." Xander smiled. It intimidated me-.

Still, his smile is still a lot less unsettling then Sirens..

-NOT SAYING THAT SIREN DOESN'T HAVE A NICE SMILE-!! Siren is just- scary-....but also..kind. in his own way. i like Siren,,!

"ah i- um.." i looked down, trying to find words to say. Still looking down, i responded. "I've been alright, sleeping a lot and,, same stuff as always" i attempted to give him a reassuring smile when i looked at him. attempted because.. well. my mouth isn't visible while it's closed.

I'm so anxious that i forgot about that. He can see it from my eyes tho! i think,,

Looking a vampire in the eyes is usually known as the worst thing to do. I guess same with werewolves, but werewolves are scary in a different way.

Siren and Xander dont mind eyecontact at all. Fin and Xander both told me that i dont have to act like im inferior. I still get anxious though but.. i try.

Xander: "hmm. You're not hiding your fear very well.." *laughs a bit*

"HM?? OH-! i just- ahh,," i covered my face with my hands. "im sorry,,"

Xander: "wha-" *laughs more* "nonono dont apologize!!" *carefully places his hand on Prince's shoulder*

I unintentionally flinched as he did that. Like i said, im extremely jumpy.

Normally he cant touch me in this form hes in, but, at the moment, his arm looks as if it has shadows trailing up to his elbow. Vampires can shapeshift seperate limbs into the 'shadowy form', so i guess thats how he touched me just now.

not that i dislike it though..

Affection feels really nice,,

Xander: "you're not doing anything wrong, its ok."

His eyes looked more relaxed now. He's really good at calming people.

I felt a bit more relaxed already..

"..do you,, um.. need something..? You're not bothering-! i just,," i fidgeted with the top of the brick fence. We're currently standing on one of those bridge-like things. I came here to look at the view,, once again.

Xander: "nope. i just noticed you here."

I turned to look at him. He wasn't looking at me anymore.. instead he was looking out at his kingdom with his head leaning on his hand.

He normally doesn't do that to people.... he.. looked away to make me feel more comfortable. I looked back at the view and smiled a bit because of his little.. considerate action. He's trying to make me feel more comfortable,, it really does make me happy, and, makes me feel a bit special in a way..

Xander: "I hadn't talked to you in a while, or well, ever. We only ever actually talked briefly, and it was once."

Xander paused.

Xander: "Hey Princy, I've always wondered something. How did you get your name? 'Prince'..i like it haha! though, i like calling you 'princy' way more~"

He looked at me with a teasing smirk on his face. He's like his brother but..nicer.

"oh!! um.." i though for a second. Then two seconds. Then three-

Xander: *looks back at the kingdom* "its alright if you dont know, or just dont want to say it. No pressure Princy! I just think its an adorable name." *laughs a bit*

I paused. And then, I looked at him.

"I..I do have a story for it actually! hmm.. well a few other vampires and werewolves in the underworld were calling me 'Prince' but-"

I looked down, and then back out at the scenery.

"..i found out later on that they were teasing me. It was meant to be an ironic joke, because well, technically they're the ones that.. 'rule over me' i guess."

I looked at him again.

"but its ok! I just went with it and i think nothing bad of it now..!"

I looked back at Xander. Xander looked down a bit, still looking off into the distance though.

Xander: "i heard from Siren that it's brutal down there. im sorry you had to deal with that. You're one of the good ones.

You desurve better then down there"

I just.. stared at him for a moment.

"you think im good..?"

He looked at me again.

Xander: "well i practically pulled the truth out of you didn't i? and so did Siren aswell.

And its not like you could have used Vervain to lie,, that doesn't work on demons. Trust me. Jesse tried." *laughs a bit*

"oh! if you're fine with me asking....what did you compel him to say?"

Xander: "wwweeelllll..." he rolled his eyes a bit, still slightly laughing. "I jokingly asked him if he actually does find Siren appetizing-"

"-what did he say!?" i immediately paused after saying that and panicked for a small moment because i got too excited talking and interrupted him at the end- he didn't mind tho! It doesn't even look like he noticed but he definitely did. He and Siren notices everything.

Xander: "he said yes." *laughs a bit more* "then he paused, looking so shocked. and thennnnn he went away as quickly as he could!"

Ok, even i laughed a bit. The thought of a giant scary jester cyclops demon panicking like this is actually really funny,,!

"e-EAT HIM-?!?!"

Xander: *nods* mhm! he's not going to obviously. I've seen how protective he is, and, Siren has told me that he would sneak some food to him when my.. *pauses for a brief*

ah,, when my parents used to lock him in the basement. Did he tell you about that? Its not personal to him which is why i said it."

i shook my head. "noo..uh..i dont think so,,

Xander: "ah, well, our parents weren't good at all. They were abusive with Siren especially since he was given to them against their will. Siren is supposed to be my cousin actually! But his parents died, it didn't effect him since they were never really there. Most parents leave their children in the underworld as soon as they can, is that correct"

"yes,, its common there. Ive never seen parents there who stay after their child is able to walk, run, and hunt. Its the norm down there, no one seems bothered by it though!"

Xander: "ohh wow.. i never really gone there enough to see that much. Siren had a twin aswell who was executed for crossing over. He told you about that right? Because thats the reason that he.."

"..that he hated me at first, yeah he told me.. i understand his point of view. I crossed over with no consequence, while she,, ..yeah. It's not fair.."

Xander: "nothing is fair down there. Its not something that you should feel guilty about. I hope he apologised to you at least."

"Yeah! he actually,, a while ago he actually did! and cleared things up with me too,,"

I thought about that one moment i had with him. Fin was hugging me and teasing him about it, joking around about Siren being 'jealous'. Though, im pretty sure that he wasn't jealous! But he definitely seemed pissed..

at the time, after Fin left to go home; i remembered how i told Fin that the hugs feel nice. He mentioned how Siren also loves hugs.

So, after Fin left,

Siren was still in his shadow form, he didn't shapeshift back yet.

So i....hugged him

and,, i,, i panicked a bit but,, he was hugging back.. he let me rest on his shoulder, and then i,, drifted off into sleep.

it was nice..

-

i must have gotten lost in that thought for too long because well-

Xander: "whatcha thinking of?"

"OH-! nothing,, sorry i just dosed off like that haha-"

Xander: "nah, it's alright! i actually have to leave now. i was surprised to see you awake at this hour. 7pm is pretty early for you right?"

He did that relaxing smile again. I can see why everyone loves him so much. Yesimsayingheshoteventhoughdemonsdontfeelromanticorsexualattractions ahahahaha anyways-

"yep!! ....how..how did you know-?"

Xander: "Jesse has been keeping an eye on you, no pun intended *laughs a bit*

..well he doesn't anymore of course! er,, i dont think so at least? i told him not to but he doesn't always listen!

He does listen to important things though. For example, i can assure you that he wont hurt you. You wont have to worry about that!"

"thank you,,i..

i actually always wondered if he knew i was here ahahaha,,"

I again thought about how i once saw him staring at me from the distance for a second-.

Scary,,

Xander: "of course, you're safe here. Just dont purposefully cause trouble, and you'll be fine. Its not often for someone to find someone like you.

ill let you relax now, it was nice talking to you Princy."

Once again, the same smile. This time though, its not as scary as it was the first time.

He walked away.

"it was nice talking to you too.."

I meant to say that louder and....sooner. I whispered again accidentally. There was no way he heard it.

..well then i remembered that the sense of hearing is heightened for vampires. That would explain why he almost, slightly looked back as he was walking away.

I just, stared off for, well, i don't know how long..

Then i heard a meow! and i followed it.

and i went back to my usual schedule.

[timextoxhajima]

CAPITAL LETTERS: Christmas Special

BONUS TRACK: CHANGE YOUR MIND

Member: Juyeon

Genre: CHRISTMAS FLUFF AND A TINY BIT OF SMUT

Word Count: 2.3k words

A/N: Merry Christmas to all my readers out there! I hope you’re safe, warm and happy wherever you are! I considered writing a full-on smut for this special but decided not to, in the spirit of wholesome giving. I hope this will serve as a little token of appreciation for your patience in reading my work. <3

My love, 

You’ve been away far too long now, I’m starting to feel like I’m forgetting your scent. How is it like over there? Is the weather kind to you? Are you eating well? I hope you miss me as much as I miss you.

Love, Juyeon

Your lids droop halfway down your eyeballs, chucking away the handwritten letter into your purse and looking behind your shoulder. 

“You are extremely dramatic for someone who’s been sitting right outside my office,” He pulls the door open and pops his head in. His hair is a new mixture of black with highlights the colour of clouds and it couldn’t have made him look better.

Your jaw drops open in pleasant surprise, eyes trying to process the sight before you. But then he walks in, and he’s very obviously hiding something behind his back. A squint forms on your lids and that playful tongue of his darts out to swipe across his lower lip, just moments before he lunges forward and pecks you on your lips. 

He doesn’t want you to hug him because he knows you’ll find some way to climb onto him and figure out what he’s hiding behind his back. 

“What, no time to rest?” Folding your arms, you raise a brow when he coyly walks backward into your sofa, careful not to crush whatever he was holding behind his back. “First, you come into my office looking like that then now you’re hiding, what, keys to your helicopter behind your back?”

“What’s wrong with looking like ‘that’?” Mischief creeps along his lips in the form of a smirk, cuing you to provide him with an exaggerated scoff. 

“You know what I mean.”

You can feel him watch you as you walk around to the back of your table, packing all your Christmas gifts from your colleagues into the shelves or drawers. 

“Well, aren’t you going to try and figure out what I got for you?”

“I’ll just wait until you can’t take it anymore. It’s not like you can hide that behind your back all the way till we get home, you need to drive.”

“Ugh,” Groaning in mild frustration, the friction of fabric against sofa tells that Juyeon removed himself from the furniture, the gentle footsteps into the marble floor getting closer to you. His presence is strong behind you, then both his hands travel around the side of your waist, under your arms, and presents you a Christmas bouquet of white and red roses with a gold wrap. 

You don’t bother to take the bouquet, but instead, you whip around and wrap your arms around his torso, resting your head in his chest. Juyeon chuckles, sinking his nose and lips into the crown of your head. You can feel him trying to tighten his hold around you despite the bouquet still being in one of his hands. 

“Thank you,” He releases you as you take the bouquet from him, his hands dropping to your waist. “Now I feel bad for making you wait outside my office.” 

“You did warn me,” The bouquet looks large when it’s in your hands, but all you do is stare and gleam at the flowers like it was gold. “Besides, watching you work is kinda hot.”

“Says you,” Looking up, Juyeon smiles not with his lips, but with his eyes as he leans forward. Providing you with a long, hard, kiss, Juyeon removes the bouquet from your hands, placing it on the desk behind him. Closing the gap between your bodies, he pulls you forward as he shifts back to lean against your desk, your thighs between his knees as your arms travel up his chest and around his neck. 

The pilot tastes like mint chocolate, of which you can assume was due to his habit of brushing his teeth after he ate.

“Yo, have you looked at the production details for the-- oh my God! What the--” 

Juyeon almost refuses to release you when he can recognise Sunwoo’s voice, though you’ve already panicked and broken the kiss. 

“Oh-- Jesus-- Didn’t I tell you to knock before you come in?” Sunwoo watches you try to pull yourself away from Juyeon, but he intertwines his fingers behind your back. His head is turned around and looking at Sunwoo with the widest grin on his face. 

“Since when the Hell did you tell me to knock?” Sunwoo raises his hand in a bid to greet Juyeon, who nods in acknowledgement. 

“Oh, yeah, sure,” Juyeon receives a gentle thwack on his chest. "Blame me."

"He's got a point, it's your office."  

"Whose side are you on?" 

"Ugh, I'll leave the production file here," Sunwoo tosses the glossy item onto the sofa Juyeon was previously sitting on. "Remind me never to touch your desk, like, ever."

"Bye, Sunwoo!" Juyeon calls out, pulling you closer and pasting his torso to your body. 

"Yeah, yeah, knock yourself out," Sunwoo's voice trails off as he walks out, shutting the door behind him. Your attention returns to Juyeon, eyes forming a squint again as you arch your back and look down at those playful eyes; eyes that looked like they belong to a five-year-old.

"Tsk! You--" Juyeon suddenly stands up and crashes his lips into yours again, your neck tilting upwards but resting in his palms as he cups your cheek. You can smell the breathy mint despite already tasting it, and the cologne that was wafting off his white button up top was gradually intoxicating your thoughts. The same way he was able to win you over with a gap of one year in between. 

Every muscle in his arms shifts under your fingers, the way he's kissing you feels like swimming in a pile of cotton and clouds and snow. 

He offers a soft moan before pulling away, brushing his thumb across your lower lip to clean off the smudged lip tint. "Ah," He touches his own lips. "Now everybody in your office will know we kissed." 

This time, you roll your eyes and let him kiss you on the forehead. 

Juyeon closes the car door for you, leaving you to admire the flowers in the bouquet as he walks around the vehicle. The car smells like him, and when he gets into the car, all you want to do is to jump on him and litter kisses all over his face and hug him and watch Christmas movies and--

"Again with your staring," The smirk he has on his face makes you want to barf because he's teasing with you, flirting, as if the two of you aren't already together. "Do I get to bring you to your next present or do you need more time staring at me?”

"Everything you're saying now is only making me think of when we first met." 

"How do you know I'm not doing it on purpose?"

The morning after you finally saw him again after one year.

Maybe it was the Christmas spirit that was getting to him, but you can't help but to look at him with the most done eyes you've ever given someone. 

"Alright, alright. I won't be such a prick now. We'll go, okay?"

"And where are we going?"

It takes you awhile to realise Juyeon was driving out of the city, away from the lights and further into the country side where snow collects in mounts and nobody would bother those white pillows. You would protest and ask him if he was trying to kidnap you, but all you can see is the way the snow sparkles under the street lights, the distant stars of Mars and Jupiter in the sky like a white dot in the navy canvas. 

The road ends and the vehicle comes to a stop. Juyeon gives you a secretive smile as he reaches behind and picks up a large bag, exiting the car while waiting for you to follow suit. The puffs that escape through your every exhale form tiny clouds as Juyeon holds your hand and walks down a slippery path. The both of you are tucked in thick coats and scarves and gloves but just having him with you feel so warm in itself. 

If you thought Juyeon bringing you on a helicopter ride was romantic, you thought wrong. 

The path among the trees open up into a huge space of white and blue, with the moon in the sky brimming its silver light down. 

Right before you was a frozen water body, a frozen lake. The low lighting is slightly difficult to adjust to, so by the time you've turned to Juyeon in pleasant surprise, he's gotten two pairs of skates out from the bag he took from the car. 

Juyeon pulls you to your feet after he helps you buckle your skates, and the ice below the blades pulls you nearer to him due to your lack of balance. His laughter sounds like a song by your ears, feeling his arms hold you up to your feet and his hands are on your waist to hold you still. 

Then, you are drifting across the cold space in his arms as he plasters himself to you, despite the many layers of clothing between your chests. Your head is in his shoulder, gently inhaling his scent off his coat though the snow should’ve melted it away. 

“You good?” 

A mellow hum thrums through your throat as a smile stretches itself across your lips. You look up at him, straight into those eyes of his that looked nothing short of your world. “Why wouldn’t I be?”

He pulls your beanie down over your ears, one hand still on your waist and yours around his torso. “I don’t know, you’re quiet.”

“I’m enjoying the moment,” Nestling your head back into his chest, it feels like heaven and pillows and clouds and marshmallows until he tells you it’s time to go. 

By the time you’re in the car, you’ve lost count of the number of times Juyeon has lost his words in your mouth. After dumping the skates into the boot, he pulled you into the backseat, for a few minutes battling the awkward fart-sounding noises of the leather before he has you straddling his lap. 

He’s looking up at you like you were a God, and it forces chills down your spine as you tilt your head to give him exactly what he wanted. 

“Ju--” A kiss. 

“Hmm?” Another kiss. 

“We’re not staying here all night--” One more. “Are we?”

He pulls away, eyes hooded when he turns his attention to your neck. “Of course not, I have more presents for you at home.”

“What? What else did you get me?” Finding his cheeks in your palm, you pull him back to face you. But all he does is nuzzle your skin with his nose, pressing kisses into the heart of your palm with his shadowed eyes watching you. 

“You’ll find out when we get home,” Your waist feels warm just as he circles your waist with his arms. “I’d stay like this with for longer if I could, pity a day only has 24 hours. That’s too little time.”

Ugh, what a sweet talker. 

“Okay, well... I don’t want to wait until the sunrises before I can drink hot chocolate and watch Christmas movies with you so maybe we should go.”

Juyeon provides you the tiniest pout, before he relents and quickly pecks you on the cheeks.

You couldn't decide what it was that decided you deserved a life like this. There must've been something you had done in your past life to be snuggled up against Juyeon's chest, both of you in matching pajamas and two mugs of hot chocolate with marshmallows bobbing up and down inside on the table by your feet.

The blanket was covering most of you, only up to his chest while his arms are wrapped around you. The light from the television is reflecting off his face and his eyes, the amber lighting of his living room making it all the more comfortable and cozy for you. The snow outside was billowing and yet you feel so far away from danger.

He smells like lemon from his body wash and his fingers that were interlocked with yours feel warm against your skin.

Juyeon's attention was unrivalled when he doesn't notice how long you've spent staring at his side profile. He was mindlessly fiddling with your fingers under the blanket and stroking the length of your calf that was over his thighs. The movie was some stupid rom-com he said he wanted to watch, and you let him, only because he watched horror movies with you whenever you wanted.

Resting your chin on his shoulder, the physical contact finally gains his notice.

"Why? Are you sleepy? Shall we call it a day?" He picks up the remote and pauses the movie, turning to his side to face you.

"I am, but we don't have to sleep now. It's not midnight yet."

Juyeon's little smile in the corner of his lips melt your thoughts through and through, his slightly damp white highlights against his lashes. His hand travels up to rub your ears, tips slightly cool.

"Who said we need to wait till midnight?" His arm comes round your waist under the blanket and pulls you into his chest, forcing you into more or less a cradled position.b

"I don't know, wouldn't it be nice to stay away till Christmas and then I get to kiss you the first second of our first Christmas together?" Goosebumps erupt all over your skin as you cringe over what you've just said, but Juyeon likes that kind of nonsense and he laughs into your lips when he plants a kiss to them.

"There's no need to wait for Christmas, princess," Cupping your cheek in his palm, he pulls away just slightly to finish the rest of his sentence. "You can kiss me anytime you want."

“Wait,” You pull away, thumb brushing across his lower lip as his breath hits yours. He playfully raises a brow, already not in favour of the gap between your faces. “What’s my present?”

He pauses, then reads your eyes. He knows you already know what the present is. 

“Me, for the rest of your life and mine.”

[zuffer-weird-girl]

Trying to slowly get back to writing so here it is some bitter ... fluff?

Pain

Is quite ironic.

The source of his power being both cut and disintegrated. His arms. It had nothing on there. Absolutely nothing. Only the mere replacement of plenty new robotic arms so that he couldn't just be more useless that he was already.

Yet it still hurt.

Torture he would discribe as. Every damn night or every time he closed his eyes his mind would replay the exact moment where that kid beaten him up, when he was taken away, when the van crashed and when the leader of the league of villains along with his commurates took away his hard work and arms.

It didn't even made sense to him why he would wake up in cold sweat and feel just the most amount of pain he felt on that day on where it was suppose to be his arms. Provably a psychological thing, but he didn't understand it neither want it.

He just want it to stop... why was he feeling pain on somwhere that it didn't even existed anymore..?!

His eyes burned as he narrowed them at his metalic hands resting on his thighs... if only he had been more careful with Eri... if only his damn pride didn't got in the way of doubting those brats... if only he had listen to the old man...

"A penny for your thoughts handsome?" He visibly flinched before looking over his shoulder and saw you wiping your hands after washing the dishes... a small smile yet aeyebrows furrowed in worry.

Those thoughts and pain were judt so terible that he almost forgot about the most good thing that thanks to heavens was left for him... You.

He would never understand it why you were still here with him. When he escaped Tartarus yoh only welcomed him woth open arms... not taling personappy the outburst he had on the first few months...

Sighing he only lifted hsi prostethic arm and managed to make a wave at you, a signal of him to tell it wasn't anything... you knew better than pry it out of him.

"I'm going to go take a nap, washing dishes has given me some back pain." You giggled while carefully wrapping your arms around his neck. His body answered to your actions by tensing up but slowly relaxing, subsconcipusly his head leaning into yours for just a bit.

He saw you going on your after brushing his mask and pulling it out of his face for just a bit to gige him a peck on the lips.

A shaky sigh left him, bitting his lip to prevent any sound to come out as he fept the pain come back ten times stronger than ever after you closed the door.

He didn't break it until now, and he wouldn't...

.

.

.

Your chest tightened and you felt yourself sick to the stomach due to the constant anxiety and distress you felt.

Kaai mever was one to open up to you. It took you years, YEARS, to find out that Pops wasn't even his biological father and to learn that his parents were absolutely horrible to him.

He would oftenome back to you with bruises, a bloody jacket, rarely with a bloddy nose after a fight on the underground or just some discussion. Yet he always remained with that neutrap and uncaring face of his. The most signal you would get from him that he was in pain or uncomfortable was his hives and by the way his muscles twitched and tensed.

You want it to help your boyfriend. You needed to. But how could you? The man had a ego bigger then the whole word and hated being touched or felt like he was a nuisance or worst, someone nothing.

Kai hated being touched or helped. Not used ti being cared or loved. The consequences of poor parenting and being rased in the mafia was pretty evident on him.

Yet oh how much you loved this man... despite his actions and flaws you swore you teared up every time you thought or just talked to someone about and your feelings for him.

So thats why you never leaved. No matter how many times Kai has gotten to the point of almost kicken you out of his life for what he says, "your own good".

You were about to sit down on the bed until your eyes widened at the sound of pans falling and crashing.

"Kai?" You spine carefully with a basevall bat already on your hand. Living with a now wanted criminal left you no choice.

Instead of an intruder or a cop, you saw the frame of the large shoulders of your boyfriend, metalic arms providing some ground for him on the kitchen counter as he panted as if he had ran a marathon.

"Oh my g- Kai?!" You left the baseball bat fall and came to him, hands hovering over his form as hives appeared on his face and neck as he breathed in and out, eyes clenched shut as sweat crawled down his skin.

"Kai honey please talk to me..." you begged with tears in your eyes as you saw him clenching his jaw so hard that you feared it could break.

"M.. Make it..-" he breathed out "..end."

It seemed that he was more talking to himself than to yoy but you still tried to remain your ground as one tear slid down your cheek.

"What needs to end?" You whispered as he grunted.

His eyes finally opened, the white of his eyeballs wasn't there anymore, instead some redness as he forced down the disgusting pained sob thag wanted to get out of his throat.

"Kai im begging you what is going on?" You cupped his cheek as the other hand took his mask off and saw his white teeth clenched together before you gasped when he dropped his head on your shoulder, curling his prosthetic arms on his chest.

"I cant bear it anymore..." it came his pained whisper as your heart almost riped out of your chest "Is not even there anymore so why does this keep hurting?!" He whispered shouted on your shoulder as you stood there in panick.

What was you suppose to do?!

Hands rubbing his back caustiously, you leaned your head against him as he trembled on your arms.

"What do you mean? Where does it hurt?" You whispered as you heard his unwanted sob manifest on the quiet dostant house you both got to get away from the heros and cops.

"I cant take it anymore angel!" He shouted as tears flew from his eyes "I just can't! It doesn't even matter anymore! Just fucking end me already! I beg you (Y/n)..." he sobbed in your neck as you hugged him... that was the only thing you could do.

Your tears dropped into his neck as you tried your best to understand him until you eldecided to rub the last remain of his arm and his shoulder... his breath hitched as.. his golden eyes widened as slowly his trembling got lower.

He shakipy breathed out as he moved his fake arms to bring you closer by the waist as he spoke the words that you swore that made your heart drop.

"Kill.. me."

Automacally you hugged him tighter as you sobbed immediately your denial as he finally quieted down.

"D-Dont ever ask me that!" You sluttered before pushing him a bit to rest his forehead against yours "Dont even think about it!"

His eyes were hollow and expression numb as he looked at the ground.

It was quiet until you saw his prothestic move to hold the left one.

"When my arms got stolen... I never imagined to still feel the pain as if they were still.. there. Comical..." he sighed, still not looking at you "Is torture.. my thoughts, head, body are being haunted and I just cant take it anymore... I... simply can't." He sighed, dropping his prostethics.

You furrowed your eyebrows before breathing in and staring angrily at your boyfriend. Making the decision that made him astonished.

Taking off his metalic arms from where they were attached to and starting to rub it with a concentrate face. His golden eyes wide open as he clenched his jaw and narrowed them a bit later to ask you what you were doing.

"Does here hurt? It makes less painful?" You ask, still not looking at him as he payed attention to his senses... it didn't. The usual pain he was beating thorugh almost a year was no where.

Shaking his head in shock you sighed and gently pressed your thumbs on his shoulders.

"Is like that. We dont simply deal with it..." your eyes locked with his "We search for a cure like you always did... so let me help?" You asked, eyes actually begging as his golden orbs stares back at yours before tsking... lowering his head on your shoulder once again so you couldn't see more tears threatening to leave his eyes.

"Idiot..."

[arsonistslut]

TW: This part of the story is inconceivably violent, so if that triggers you or you're uncomfy with this sort of stuff, please skip this chapter of my rewrite.

Chapter 18: The Killer's Rampage

CRASH!

The hospital chair proved more than effective at breaking the locked window that held him inside, the moon shining in and providing miniscule light for Jeff Woods. He knew he had to be quick to get outside, as the faculty would probably be barging into his locked room any second now,so he scrambled through the broken window frame, ignoring the glass shards cutting into his bandaged body and hospital gown as he jumped down from the room. It wasn't a long fall, as he was on the first floor of the building, so he quickly proceeded off the hospital grounds and on the road toward his house, grabbing one of the larger shards of broken glass on the ground, just in case he might've needed it. He wasn't waiting anymore. It had been far too long already.

Randy Ellsworth was still thinking over his decision to split off from Keith and Troy on his way home. His mind wandered through ideas, questions he had. Did he really hurt Keith and Troy, or were they just caught up in the moment? One thought led to another, and soon, his thoughts were back at the party. He had invited Jeff there as a peace offering, something that could keep everyone happy for a bit and let everything settle down..but he just had to do that, didn't he? He had to glass him, send him tumbling into that fire..he could only hope and pray he was doing alright. His train of thought about his transgressions was stopped when his headlights highlighted a figure walking down the road, wearing some sort of hospital gown. The figure looked like they were bleeding, so Randy pulled over and got out of the car, cautiously approaching the figure.

"H-Hello? sir, ma'am, whoever you are..you need a ride or something? I can drive you somewhere, if you want."

Randy looked at the person standing before him, before looking into their eyes..the black hair was a start, but those black, sunken-in, terrifying eyes that peered out from the bandages wrapped around their head were a dead giveaway.

"J..Jeff..is that you?"

Jeff's breathing got heavier, gripping the glass in his hand so tightly that his hand bled, until he let out a gutteral yell and charged Randy, driving the shard deep into his chest and tackling him onto his car. Randy screamed in horror and pain, and Jeff took the shard and stabbed him with it, over and over into his gut as blood sprayed onto his face and body. Ellsworth cried and screamed as Woods proceeded to reach into one of the open wounds on his body and violently string out his intestines, his guts flowing out like streamers. Randy hurled a mixture of vomit and blood onto his car, before finally perishing in the killer's grasp.

Jeff shivered as the cold nipped at him, the wind howling as he opened the door to his family's home with the spare key under the floormat. The house was much warmer than the outside, as Jeff just took a moment to soak it all in..the warmth, the stench of blood on his body, what was to come next. Making sure his footsteps were muted, he made his way to the drier and began rummaging through for clean clothes, something warm to replace his hospital gown. A white hoodie and a pair of red jeans would fit him nicely, so he threw the gown aside and slid his new clothing over his athletic frame, hissing as the cloth made contact with his tender, bandaged flesh. His spare pair of steel-toed military boots tied off the outfit quite well, so he proceeded upstairs, retrieving his switchblade from his drawer and pocketing it. He then went to the bathroom, wanting to see his face after not having seen it in over a month. When he peeled away the medical tape from his face, the sight he saw horrified him. His face..it was horrible. All of his skin was a cadaverous white, now, and the old mouth scars he had were gone, overwritten by the hypodermic scarring that had turned his body into a chilling reminder of the party that had gone terrifyingly wrong. He began to chuckle at the sight, the grisly state his face was in, before taking his switchblade and digging it into his cheeks, letting out awful sobs and laughs as bloody tears began to slide down his face.

"Who's there?"

His mother's voice called out into the darkness, and with rivers of crimson pouring from his wounds, he patiently waited. Carla turned the corner, a switchblade to the throat quickly silencing her. Her eldest son watched her gurgle and choke on her own blood, a cold, unforgiving glare meeting her gaze as she died on the floor. The cathartic sensation that washed over Jeff felt unending, his breath growing shaky as he entered his father's room. Carla had gotten out of bed and left Jeff Sr. asleep in his bed. Woods slowly approached his father, before raising his blade and driving down into his head, his father's eyes widening as he realized what was happening.

He was going to die.

Liu was asleep, downstairs, his earbuds blocking out any commotion he might've heard otherwise. He was a light sleeper, so the overpowering smell of blood and sweat that wafted into his room as his door opened was quick to wake him up. When he turned around, he saw his brother standing in the doorway, holding a blowtorch he'd surely gotten from the garage and sliding something down the back of his pants.

"Jeff..is that you? W-What're you doing here?"

A sickeningly prideful chuckle came from Jeff, turning on the blowtorch in his hand and holding it in the air so Liu could definitely see it.

"I am the devil, Liu. And I am here to do the devil's work."

Liu had no time to question his brother about anything he just heard, as Jeff had pinned down the boy with his left hand, igniting the flame of the blowtorch with the other. Then, every neuron in the boy's brain shocking him with pain as his brother rammed the blowtorch into his face, laughing at his screams and cries of pain, a smile soon charred into his face, much like Jeffrey's. Drawing his switchblade from his pocket, the elder sibling jammed the knife into Liu's shoulder, his screams delighting Jeffrey as his blood sprayed onto his face. Jeff, however, was soon knocked away by a lamp thrown at his head. He dropped the blowtorch and held the side of his head, looking to see who threw a lamp at him. He had just enough time to make out Natalie's face as she then struck Jeff with a wrench, knocking him even further back. Liu's body slumped off his bed as Woods tried to kick Natalie away, to no avail when she struck his ankle aside.

"YOU FUCKING BASTARD!!"

She cried out as blows from her wrench followed, each one more and more painful than the last. However, Jeff had an ace up his sleeve. Reaching into the back of his pants, he grabbed his father's 1911 pistol and pressed it against her cheek.

"Go to sleep, bitch!"

The gunshot that then rang out was deafening, Natalie screaming as her face bled, both of her cheeks blasted open by the 45. ACP that was shot right into her face. Jeff groaned as he stood up, his body still aching from those wrench strikes, and reached down to Nat's face, gripping her right eyeball and beginning to yank it out of her head. With a disgusting snap of her eye's optic nerve, he succeeded, dropping the eyeball next to her. Natalie screamed until her vocal cords no longer let her, Jeffrey running his bloody, bandaged fingers through his hair without a single notion of guilt for his terrible crimes as she eventually passed out from blood loss. With 3 people surely dead at his hands for sure and 2 more in a less certain state, Jeff proudly smiled as he wrote a message in blood on one of the walls, Liu's sobs the only audible sound in the house.

"Why...? Jeff, why did you do this?"

Jeffrey turned to his brother..his crying, bleeding, surely dying brother. A member of his own family, laying in a pool of his own gore. He just looked at Liu, unable to conjure an answer.

"...Why?! Answer me, damnit.."

As Jeffrey began to walk toward the front door, he internally struggled to find an answer for Liu's pleas. The truth was..he didn't have an answer. These were crimes he committed out of impulse, out of a blind hatred he felt for the world. Jeff felt that his brother hated him anyways, so the truth wouldn't change anything. He slowly walked out of his home, not a single word leaving his lips as his brother pleaded for a reason for his killings.

Jeff had a moment of peace outside, his hoodie shielding his body from the cool winds around him. Then, he saw an old '68 Dodge Charger pulled over on the side of the road, and when he caught sight of Keith Winchester at a nearby payphone, he knew killing him would get rid of the aches his body faced from Natalie's attack, and take Liu's seeming demise off his mind. The car's hood was up, and as he got closer, Jeff was able to catch a glimpse of Troy trying to fix the engine.

"Yeah, our car's broken down and it needs to be towed somewhere it can be worked on. Yeah, we're on-"

Keith suddenly felt the phone cord wrapped tightly around his neck, Jeffrey strangling the life out of the boy from behind. The chuckle that sounded out from behind signaled to Keith that somehow, someway, Jeffrey was out of that hospital.

"I can't decide, whether you should live or die~ Oh, you'll you'll probably go to heaven, please don't hang your head and cry~"

The cord tightened around his throat, as Jeff softly sang into his ear, he desperately tried calling out to Troy, but the boy was unable to.

"No wonder why my heart feels dead inside, it's cold and hard and petrified!~ Lock the doors and close the blinds, we're going for a ride~"

Winchester eventually grew limp in the killer's arms, so Woods dropped him to the ground like a sack of potatoes.

"Hey, Keith! I think it's the timing belt, it got fucked all the way up!"

No response.

"...Keith? You okay?"

A series of hard thumps running up the car was the eventual response he got. Before he could even scream, the stick holding the trunk up snapped as Jeff jumped on top, crushing Troy's hands inside with a sickening crunch, the bones in his hands shattering under the combined weight of the heavy hood as well as Jeff's full body weight. Troy yelled at the top of his lungs in pain, his horror only growing as he saw the mess that was his assailant's face. Woods squatted down so he could talk to the poor bully face to face.

"Hi, Troy! How are ya? Hey, quit screaming, I'm talking here."

When Troy didn't stop, Jeff shook his head in annoyance.

"Okay, how about we teach you some anatomy, huh? It takes about.."

His bandaged hand took hold of one of Troy's ears, ripping it clean off.

"15 PSI to rip off a human ear. The same applies for both, actually! Why Mike Tyson was able to bite his opponent's ear off so easily."

As he talked, he ripped off his victim's other ear, reaching into his mouth as he cried and then yanking out his tongue, throwing it aside with disgust.

"That was your tongue, won't be needing that anymore..now, for the teeth! Good God, your teeth are bad..they aren't usually piss yellow, lemme just.."

Two punches to the boy's mouth and a face slam onto the car's hood loosened one of his front teeth enough that Jeff was able to yank out one of his front teeth, the blood flying out of the stump Troy once called a tongue soddening Wood's bandages with even more blood, to the point where they were beginning to fall off his hand and reveal the burnt, pale skin underneath.

"There! Now, it takes about 1,000 to 1,250 pound-feet of torque, or force if you're a neanderthal, to break a human neck! Here, I'll show you!"

Jeff then slid his hands into position, finally ending Keith's misery by breaking his neck, killing him instantly.

"I think this surgery went pretty damn well!"

The killer hopped off the hood of the car and continued down the road, his mission becoming clear in his head. It wouldn't be long before the police caught up to him, so before they found him, he needed to hit one last place.

Ingrid groaned as she made her way downstairs, having decided to crash at Jane's place for a bit since she recently got thrown out of her house. She began rummaging through the freezer when she heard the wail of several police cruisers speeding past.

"What's with all the cops at this hour?"

She went to look out the window, but a hand soon clasped over her mouth, a knife quickly slitting her throat as well. As her blood dribbled from her throat, her attacker spun her around so he could look at her..look at the girl Jeff felt he was replaced by.

"You..You took my Janey away from me..and now, she'll die for her nerve, to leave me when she knew I had issues, and you'll die for daring to touch her!"

3 more strikes to the neck followed, Ingrid's head coming clean off and rolling along thee floor after the 3rd slash connected. Jeffrey took a look around the house Jane brought him to when they were together during one of the only meaningful relationships Jeffrey had. So many hateful, vile thoughts ran through his head as he grabbed a canister of gas from the garage and 2 chairs. He used the chairs to barricade Jane and her parents in their rooms, before pouring the gasoline around the house. Jeff then struck a match he found in a kitchen, walking outside and carelessly dropping the matchbox as he went. He gazed into the small flame for what felt like ages, all the memories he had with this house flashing before his eyes as he threw the match on the gasoline. An inferno quickly started, Woods turning around and walking away as his former lover's house burned. 3 police cars soon pulled up to the burning home, the officers seeing the blood-soaked perpetrator of the crime calmly walking down the driveway.

[rpmemesbyarat]

RP meme from Scream Queens Ep 4 "Haunted House" (Note: Offensive content, use at own discretion)

A girl died in this tub.

There's no record of any of these names except for one.

Oh, my god, there's two of them!

I own Halloween. It's my jam.

Halloween is the most important day of the year. It's the one day on the Gregorian calendar where you're allowed to go around terrifying children and not be branded a psychopath.

I am a future network news anchor who's super classy and has almost no fat on her body.

A lot of my fans are, like, friendless dumpy coeds at this or that nursing school in one of this country's various national armpits.

They put down their hot pockets and bask in the warm glow of what it feels like to love me.

I went shopping with my comatose grandmother's credit card and bought presents.

Oh, my god, it says my name!

I hope the severed leg brightens up your trailer park.

You're a bright light in my life, and I wanted you to know how much you impress me with your frumpy spirit.

You are so devastatingly mediocre and adorable!

I can't wait to see you in person, but before that, I'd like to see you post this all over social media, to exploit it for my own gain.

Aah! It's a rotting jack-o'-lantern!

Aah! This box is just filled with blood!

She got me a razor apple!

I stole this cadaver head from an ophthalmology student just for you.

You're the most important person in the world.

So you didn't see anyone in a red devil costume entering or leaving the house?

Are you coming to the precinct pig roast this year?

Come on, she's obviously the killer!

Do you mean to suggest I changed out of my nightgown, strapped myself into a skintight pleather red devil costume, climbed out a second-story dormer, and shimmied to the ground with a chain saw before entering a window I had left open, tried to kill you, then leapt out the window, climbed back up the wall, changed back into my nightgown,

and raced downstairs, all in the course of about 90 seconds?

Clearly that's got you a little freaked out.

I'm not gonna hold any of this against you, and I'm gonna let you be my date for the faculty Halloween party.

Attempted murder!

A guy was almost killed tonight, okay?

Now, no, I'm not a detective, hell, I ain't even a cop, but what I am is somebody who watched every one of those Cosby mysteries, okay?

See? Dismemberment!

I am so sorry that I pushed you out of my car and drove off real scared.

I just can't believe that How To Lose A Guy In 10 days is your favorite movie, too.

In precisely two and half minutes when we go in there, you let me do all the talking.

What are you dressed as?

Oh, you have a squirrel. Don't see that much anymore.

Breakfast is almost ready, we got meat today.

What can you tell us about that night?

Now, we will keep your name out of it, of course.

'm a vault,

And to get in this vault you need a key. Now, you may ask, a key to what? It's a key to meaning. Once you've found the meaning, you don't need the words. You know what I'm saying?

Please, continue with your story.

Have any of you ever heard of "negligent homicide"?

We need to dispose of this body on our own. Now, I've got everything we need in the kitchen to make sausages out of her.

I'm gonna go downstairs, shut this party down, and then we'll get the body out of here.

Somebody has to watch after the baby.

Can you at least turn on the radio?

Just leave the details to me.

We can't just act like this never happened.

She's the devil, that one.

I looked at that baby up close. I know my peas and carrots. That baby was a girl.

Your support doesn't matter.

My campaign needs a theme?

My pumpkin's drunk.

I'm hosting a haunted house to raise money for sickle cell anemia.

Why are you holding a fund-raiser, though?

I don't think you understand the magnitude of the miscalculation you just made.

I can assure you you will not be winning an election anytime soon. And when you lose, I am gonna make it my lifelong passion to destroy your reputation.

You're a stuck-up little sociopath, and everybody in this room knows it.

It might behoove you to recall that everyone here witnessed you actually murder someone

Just sharpening knives.

Put the knives down.

I don't know what came over me.

How very adolescent of you to think of this.

It vaguely smacks of something my six-year-old sister would be excited about.

It's the most disgusting disease in the history of mankind.

You get it when you don't even understand the most basic tenets of oral hygiene.

Just give the dang thing its pot of gold already!

I ain't got no candy!

Bet you're a sexy dirt-covered girl. That's what I bet you are.

Sometimes I come out here and I just rub my hands on the gravestones.

I get you more than anyone.

I also find the thought of dead bodies extremely arousing.

I just don't understand why I have all these dark feelings.

You know, I just think our generation's had it too easy, you know? We haven't seen enough horrible stuff. There's no awesome diseases randomly killing people. There's not really any awesome wars to go off to and witness horrific things you can't unsee. We, like, pulled out of all of 'em.

Sometimes I just don't even feel like I'm living, you know?

The only time I feel anything is when I'm thinking about chopping up a body.

And here you are, saddled up with an uptight girlfriend who freaked out for no other reason than the fact that you just wanted to fantasize about having sex with her lifeless corpse.

Oh, my god, I got a total chub right now.

Not scary enough.

She'll let you in the back door.

What could be scarier for an adult than a child coming to murder them?

Isn't that all of our greatest fear? That the pain, the regrets, the mistakes of our youth will destroy us in our adulthood? That we can't escape our inner child. One we would rather forget, but who, at the end of the day has all the power.

Why are you lying to me?

Something does not make sense.

You got to give me more here, okay?

I don't understand what you're getting at.

Are you on bath salts?

Why are we even here?

This house is haunted.

There's a legend in this neighborhood about a woman who wailed about her dead children. And this was the house she lived in.

These dumb ol' kids are smoking crack.

I think it's incredible what you can find out with just a quick trip down to your local library.

This can be one of the rooms for the haunted house.

What exactly do you plan on doing at this haunted house?

I was thinking we could blindfold folks and make 'em put their hands in a bowl full of grapes we peeled, so it'll feel like eyeballs.

I think the reason you want to have a haunted house party is 'cause a haunted party is like a buffet for murderers.

Yeah, yeah, you can just go around killing anybody you want and ain't nobody even gonna even notice.

Just like you chopped the arms off that dumb-ass golf guy.

Why do you have it out for me?

So now you look at me and see everything you could've been.

I hope you have a good time at you haunted party and get to murder lots of folks.

You have this way too thought out.

Isn't this kind of nice?

My sense of personal identity is completely external.

I really don't have much to offer.

I've found that my particular style of speaking and gesticulation is extremely off-putting to most boys. And girls. And anyone.

I need to eat. My blood sugar is crashing.

I'm tired of depriving myself of joy and sustenance.

I may die at the end of a serial killer's blade, but I refuse to die hungry.

Which one of you ladies would like to be my costume for Halloween? I'm going as "dude having awesome sex with you."

I mean, what in the hell's wrong with the world where a guy can't even whistle at a chick just to tell her she looks hot?

I recently took a women's studies class. Yes, because it was a requirement, but I learned a lot anyways. Like the culture that says it's okay for a man to objectify a woman for her appearance is the same culture that pressures girls as young as ten to have eating disorders.

So you're basically saying I'm the one responsible for making you look hot?

When you treat us like meat, you're no better than him!

I'm not really sure how you got my number, but I like how you took the initiative and texted me where you wanted us to meet.

Do you think you're man enough to take me inside that house and attack my crack?

I'll sure this house has an amazingly romantic basement.

Hey, so, uh, a little awkward since we're about to bone down and everything, but, um, what's your name?

Smells like roadkill.

I've never been so scared in my whole life.

All right, if we go to the police, they're gonna see I'm still rocking a mad sidepipe, and they're gonna think I had something to do with it.

We have to warn people.

All right, everybody listen up! All of your lives are in danger!

There are dead bodies! Dead bodies. Real-life dead bodies.

Did you say dead bodies?

Those are like the most lifelike dead bodies I've ever seen.

Is that a real dead body?

There are five dead bodies in that house. Laid out in horrible and deliberate macabre poses.

You are not leaving this house tonight.

You make it harder and harder to believe that you're not the killer.

I found out something really interesting, and now I have a theory.

Everything is weird about that story.

I mean, it's too big a coincidence.

We have to figure out who that woman was.

[mercury-viennazu]

Listening to Songs With My Brain!!

Ep. 1: Micheal In The Bathroom

I am hanging in the bathroom at the biggest party of the fall

THE PARTY'S HOT HOT HOT ITS TIME FOR BIG FUN BIG FUN-

THIS IS MODERN FEMINISM TALKIN-

WHO'S READY FOR MY HALLOWEEN PARTY-

Wait what was I doing? Oh yeah, sad gays

I could stay right here or disappear

No one derves to be forgotten~ No one derves to fade awayyyyy

And nobody'd even notice at all

Wow this music is cool

I'm a creeper in a bathroom 'cause my buddy kinda left me alone

Oof same, I feel you, Michael.

But I'd rather fake pee than stand awkwardly

Or pretend to check a text on my phone

NOW YOU CAN DO BOTH!!! AT THE SAME TIME!!!

Everything felt fine

When I was half of a pair

Oop here come the breakup memories. FUCK U K YOU IGNORED ME *angry growling*

And through no fault of mine

There's no other half there

Yo what if I could fly?

Now I'm just

Michael in the bathroom

MICHAEL MAKES AN ENTRANCEEEEE

Michael in the bathroom at a party

Forget how long its been

Must be the weed at the party

I'm just Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

No, you can't come in

Watch someone come in and be like AAAAAAAAAAAAA

I'm waiting it out 'til it's time to leave

If you've done that and you know it clap your hands *clap clap*

And picking at grout as I softly grieve

What the fuck is grout

*looks it up*

OOOOH THE HOME DEPOT WEBSITE

P R I S M

LOAD YOU STUPID TAB

Grout- Wikipedia

OH SO ITS THE STUFF BETWEEN THE TILES

*clicks on Glue*

L o o k i t ' s t h e h i s t o r y o f g l u e

I'm just

Michael who you don't know

Yo this is a good meme opportunity

Michael Mell or smth Idk never seen him

Michael flying solo

WHAT IF I COULD FLY

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

Nuuuu Michael don't worry I got you bestie

I am hiding,

Constantly

But he's out there

Just ignoring all our history

Memories get erased

Okay but what if the SQUIP made Jeremy forget some of his memories with Michael and that's why he didn't feel bad about leaving him and he never knew about the memory erasure and that's why he doesn't realize Michael is hurt. Additionally, if the SQUIP can see, hear, and control everything that Jeremy does then why did he not just made Jeremy forget Rich mentioned Mountain Dew Red in The Play? What if the SQUIP wanted to be killed? What if he realized how much harm he was doing and he just wanted to erase everything?

And I'll get replaced

With a newer cooler version of me

Okay but like, Jeremy's an asshole. Honestly Michael is one of the coolest guys in the entire thing. I'd say the least cool person is Chloe. Michael has all of these things he likes and is very passionate about and Chloe's entire personality is quite literally "Hot Girl." Honestly get your shit together, Jeremy. Michael deserved much much better.

And I hear a drunk girl

Singing along to Whitney through the door

*screeches* I WANNA DANCE WITH SOMEBODY

"I wanna dance with somebody!"

And my feelings sink

Cause it makes me think

Now there's no one to make fun of drunk girls with anymore

Why tf were you making fun of drunk girls in the first place, FOR GOD'S SAKE MICHAEL

Now it's just

Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

*arm motion thingy*

I half regret the beers

Michael in the bathroom

Michael in the bathroom at a party

As I choke back the tears

Not the only thing you'll be choking on

WHY THE FUCK DID I THINK THAT NOPE ABORT ABORT UNDO UNDO- You can't undo who you are

I'll wait as long as I need

'Til my face is dry

Or I'll just blame it on weed

IM CALLING THE POLICE *microwave sounds*

Or something in my eye

Like your eyeballs???????

I'm just Michael

And I'm just Azu

Who you don't know

Michael flyin' solo

Michael in the bathroom by himself

Knock, knock, knock, knock

They're gonna start to shout soon

Fuckfuckfuck

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Ah hell yeah I'll be out soon

I'm not crying you are

Knock, knock, knock, knock

It sucks he left me here alone

IM NOT CRYING YOU ARE

Knock, knock, knock, knock

Here in this teenage battlezone

LEAVE HIM ALONEEEE

Clang, clang, clang, clang

I feel the pressure blowing up

AND WHEN THE HIGH SCHOOL GYM GOES BOOM WITH EVERYONE INSIDE *duck sounds*

Bang, bang, bang, bang

WE'LL PLANT THIS RUBBLE ON THEIR TOMB EXPLAINING WHY THEY DIED

My big mistake was showing up

Honestly

Splash, splash, splash, splash

SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH SPLASH

I throw some water in my face

And I am in a better place

Throwing water in your face is actually one of the best ways to relax. I do it a lot during volleyball cause I often get random body dysmorphia or insecurities so yeah! Instead of drinking water consider....THROWING water

I go to open up the door

But I can't hear knocking

Anymore

Let's think about that one fic we read where ALEXANDER FUCKING HAMILTON knocked on the door

And I can't help but yearn

For a different time

What's better the future or the past? Or maybe the present but I just can't appreciate it because I'm too caught up in thinking about what will go wrong and I can't concentrate on what's going right....

And then I look in the mirror

Uhhh...don't do that

And the present is clear

*imagines legit fucking gift*

And there's no denying

I'm just

MICHAEL IN THE BATHROOM

... at a party

Is there a sadder sight

Yes, many

Mmmmmmmmm

Michael in the bathroom at a party

This is a heinous night

*looks up definition of heinous*

I wish I stayed at home instead

OOOHH HERE IT COMES

Watching cable porn

HERE IT COMES HERE IT COMES

Or wish I offed myself instead

Wish I was never born

*screeches* OR WISHED I OFFED MYSELF INSTEAD WISH I WAS NEVER BORN

I'm just Michael

Who's a loner

So he must be a stoner

Rides a PT Cruiser

Google Search: PT Cruiser

Google Search: PT Cruiser colors

Google Search: cool vanilla

Google Search: cool vanilla hair

Google Search: cool vanilla hair dye

God, he's such a loser

No ur not bby

Michael flying solo

Who you think that you know

Michael in the bathroom by himself

All by himself

All by himself

Awww the music is going down

When all you know about me

Is my name

Yes, Michael Mell

Awesome party

I'm so glad I came

Ik Michael, ik

Oh boy that was long oof

[formulaorange]

Sunday May 23rd

2021 Spring Anime Season Update - Part 1

My Hero Academia Episode 9 Man, 2 juicy episodes back to back, we've been blessed. I think the new animation style is really fitting in with the action now and it's being used so well to highlight Bakugo's new spiderman-esque fighting style in this episode. I think it's awesome how much he's changed in his own way and his new costume is also just as excellent. It's fun to finally see him enjoying working with others but also clearly be strong on his own, he's had such a good character act without changing his core traits, which is awesome! I haven't read the manga for this upcoming section (maybe it's not even in there) but I figure there's a reason Monoma is so obsessed with Bakugou's change? and I'm really stoked to see him in action again in the upcoming episode! Honestly he'd better be the main star of the show, the mans is underrated! But for now - here's to spider-kacchan, his very hilariously named X-catapult and the true star of the show: Monoma ✨.

Tokyo Revengers Episode 7 Here's my theory - because of how much Takemichi is changing the timeline, he's going to be the reason any of this happens in the first place. Now if they end up trying to send a second version of him back in time to fix the first version, the show's quality will significantly drop and I'll be disappointed. But if they end up doing something totally new and it doesn't have anything to do with that first issue then I think this show would be able to still be considered super unique in terms of all the time travel aspects. Guess we'll have to wait and see. 86 Eighty-Six Episode 7 I feel like this episode said a lot of what we already assumed about the 86's position. The fantasy retirement that's always out of reach and the next lineup waiting to take over. It just kind of confirms what we already knew - the government sees these "lesser" people as disposable. It'll be a matter of time until Lena can't handle anymore and they'll need to physically work together to change it as well. As we're over half-way through the show now you can tell things are getting really tense and shit's gonna go down in the next episode. So I'm a Spider Episode 19 Her colours are getting so pretty! Here's a lil colour palette I put together for Kumoko's colours (if it's off I'm sorry, I'm just eyeballing it but this was fun anyway!!)

Part 2 - Coming Tuesday: To Your Eternity Odd Taxi Mars Red Pretty Boy Detective Club Edens Zero

[namisuki]

How can we dye our hair black from the inside out? #ChineseBlackSesameDESSERTSOUP.. Hey. I think I need to cut out the sweets for once and for all.. Hmm? I may think like this today but I will do the complete opposite when I feel the stress hormones surging through my veins again. Is that why my hands are starting to look veiny? Hmm. I want to go back to the past only to dig my own grave for my past self so I can be reborn again into the present moment the real. Me.. That is trying to pave her own way into a brighter future tomorrow. Hey. Let's go and be practical for once and forever. I mean.. Who's going to take care of my family but me yoooo? XD I mean who's going to take care of me but me

Duh

FACEPALM straight on my flat face. Let's go~ 🎤😭💬 I.... WONDER WHO U AREEEEE? I DON'T KNOW YOU~ BUT U MAKE ME WONDER WHOOO UUU RRRR LALALALALAAL... GOSH. Ooooooorrreaaallly what does being practical mean? It means u r having all your thousand hands like a Boddhisattva on this deck ⛵.. Dude I am about to go to the otherside in my imagination for now because who is this quarantine made for? Us human beings have... The right hemisphere for a reason.. It is for me to.. Cross.. Towards Euphoria... Because.. 💯✨✨✨I 👁️👃👁️👂this Peaceful Melody calling me in the left hemisphere of my brain hahahahahahahahahaahhahahahahaahhaahah XD dude. I feel like a total alien on this planet earth. Who's my captain hook maan..... Ok

Jaaa you

Goodnight. I love the song "Sorry" it reminds me not to feel sorry for myself but to actually make something out of my future..? Out of my present moment.. But my.. I seem to be everywhere right now. That is why..I don't speak or say a lot in real life. My words hold no meaning if they are not backed up by any actions. Let me take some action right now.. 🎬🎞️I don't like to cut corners but u may cut me some slack while I don't want to slack off so I have to take... Some action now... This is weird... Why do movies exist? I guess........... This is..... For me to find out. I want to be Sonmi... 45..1..?xd ha no.. I don't know. I don't want to be anyone but me.. That is liable to play different characters in a different.. Time zone.. Eh.. Anytime.. Call me.. Don't call me... I will pick up... This line is dead straight.. Haha hahahahahahha ha... Gosh. Bye! I get lost inside my own head. It is not funny anymore

The world must be brighter outside my head.. Hmm.. I wonder how my life looks like when I live from. My heart space? 🤔🤭😇🥳... 🤠🏇.. Ehhhtooooaaoaoaoaooa CD.... I ate his CD for breakfast and now I sound like a broken record hahahahahaahah k.. I have to get some 🎥 soul going on in my room because my room is... Seoullesssssswwwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa dude. People that read this may that I am weird.. But maybe u are... This.. Really... No nonsense type of person like me.. But u know what... This kind of.. Doesn't make sense to. Me either but it does.. In a very weird.. Paradoxical way... I sneezed. Goodnight. Take care. I will do what I didn't do a few weeks ago. I am behind. But I will catch up. Don't Heinz me. Byebye! 😭😂✨✨😁✨✨✨😁😁✨✨✨✨🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅🍅~ aserejee jee Haa jshajajana I forgot that song.. The ketchup song made me.. Boogy woogy... I forgot them lyrics do Ooooo hahahahahaahah OK. 🎶

I want to do a cover of the Rose's song or a cover of my beloved.... 🤫🤫🤫🤫🤫.... Eric Nampyeonieeeeeeeee.. I swear I do not dare to talk like this to him again, because this is kind of cringy? I actually dont want to be with u-ooh anymore because I don't love people that cheat on me? I don't even know you yet so how is this cheating? XD sassaeng 101.. Is what people will say but I don't mind. I think what matters most is that we are able to express how we truly feel without suffocating one another with our words. Ain't it right

Heeeeeh.. I don't think I am right but...for now I want to be myself again. Sigh. I am sick of hiding my heart inside a really suffocating chamber myself so... Hmm.. I miss this... Larger than life feeling I got when I was standing on the mountain top back in China. Ha. Or in Italy. Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm........ Some people are experts in letting pasts be bygones but I don't think I am that great in it yet so let me start from now on. Honestly, I don't think anyone can just let bygones be bygones.. Without... Harboring some.. Thorns inside their own hearts.. Can they? XD I mean can we? Can I? Yes!.! A. A! Said yes we can. Yes I can. So yes we can. Alrighties. Ssssssleep well.... Use the time we have to build a stable foundation for the children of tomorrow~ duhuhuuhu... I can be one of them or I am one of them and so are you! No matter how old you are now. I am still convinced that we are all... Babies, turning into adults... Becoming grans and gramps of the universe.. Reaping or sowing tiny gems of wisdom into the planet earth 🌱🌲🌳🌴🌵🌾🌿☘️🍀🍃🎋🎄.. And what more? I know I can not be the person I wanted to be a while ago or I know that is trying to emerge from. Within me in just a split second because.. Like an onion.. I don't like to eat

U have to peel it one layer by one layer... Until u reach its core.. It is the essence that is able to kill our eyeballs with a fragrance that even garlic can't top... Off this vampire diary is ending now. I have to take care of. My psychical needs? Body now. My gums are bleeding red like the Rose I couldn't receive from Eric Nam a while ago lol. Hahahahah hahahaha. So I got a digital rose instead and honestly I am glad he sung that song because it got me like wooooo hahahahahahha. XD gosh. I have to buy myself a guitar for.. The birthday I wish I could attend a bit sooner than now.. But this date of birth is only starting... In September so.. Uhm.. Let's pray COVID-19 is ending soon so I can flyyyyyy away.... Save money

And... Uhhhhhmmm u know. There are a lots of places left for us as human beings to visit and a physical! Geographical location u can see, hear, taste or.. Feel or any other senses we can use to.. Discover planet earth is not one of them... I want to take everyone to Euphoria soon, with notes🎶 that will give me paper that means something to the society so I can pay my bills and live a happy and peaceful life with my hooman!.. MAN. MAN MAN MAN WHERE R THOU? OK. I DON'T NEED A MAN IS WHAT MODERN AGE WOMEN SAY IS WHAT I SAID TOO BUT OOOOLAAAAAAYAAAAJAKAKAKKAAKAKAKAKKAKAKAKA I JUST WANT A PSYCHOLOGIST I CAN TALK TO FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE IN ZE BATHROOM BECAUSE I NEED A SINK TO BRUSH MY TEETH IN NOW BECAUSE IT IS BED TIME. OK. go.. PEACHES and cream are nice but u know what sets avocado's on fire?...... Chilli pepper flakes in the form of gochugaruuUuUuuiu haru haru😂😂🤣😅🤭 hahahahah.... I need to see if I can find someone as gross as me... Just kiddink actually we don't ... P💩P.. We let go~ of our goals.. That do not benefit anyone but ourselves... Because we have to embrace the golden Middle way that is going to help us... All... Go Back to or come through this heaven's doooorr.... 🚽🧻🚪🎤😇🤝😇🎻🎼🌐☮️🎸🎷🥁🎹.. This sounds like a peaceful melody that I can jam to.. For.. Longer than... This evening is really weird. I literally did nothing but roam in my own head space and the only thing I found was something that my heart didn't want to see because my soulmate said.. 🤫🤐Worry no more~ u are right where u are~ just take it slow 🐢 and we can go there anytime when you are ready, I am ready! When we are ready.. HUMANITY WILL BE READY TOO! SO LET'S GOAAAL 💗❤️💖🧡💛💚💙💜.. FOR THE UMPTEENTH TIME I am going to bed. 🎶

[deadlytales]

There are secrets hidden in the colors you can't see.

(from this Reddit post, by J.L.)

Do you know what color a cockroach is? If you said brown, then you’re wrong. Its Vis. And Cimex. And it has slight hints of Foedus as well.

That’s not gibberish. Those are colors that you can’t see. But I can.

I am the first documented human being with pentrachromatic vision.

That means that I have five different types of cone cells in my eyes. Almost every human being is a trichromat. That means there are three types cone cells in their eyes. These cells can each distinguish around 100 individual shades, but they mix together with one another - which means that the average trichromat can see about a million different colors. As a pentrachromat, I can see around ten billion.

No other mammal can do that. Only pigeons and a few butterflies. If this doesn’t sound like a big deal, then let me ask you a question - What’s the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? A sunset? A rainbow?

Mine was a Hostess Twinkie. I was in a 7-11 and I saw a bunch of them sitting in a box on one of the shelves. Whatever chemicals they put in those things all have their own colors. Together, they create this beautiful swirling mosaic. Kind of makes the Twinkie less appetizing, but certainly better to look at. These colors are indescribable. I mean that in the literal sense – I can’t describe them to you. Color is an inherently private event. For the same reason you can’t tell that the shade of blue you see on a lid of I Can’t Believe it’s not Butter is the same as the shade of blue that your boss sees, I can’t tell you what most of the colors I see look like.

There are some things that I didn’t even know had color until I became a pentrachromat. Movement has color – every time something moves it creates a faint trail of a color that I can only describe as energetic. I’ve taken to calling this color Vis. Most fruits are multi-colored, but trichromatic eyes only pick up on the primary color present in them. If peaches looked to you how they do to me then you probably wouldn’t eat them anymore. I wasn’t born a pentrachromat. I was born with boring old trichromatic vision just like you. Then I got in a car accident. You know what color the sparks are when two pieces of metal collide? I call it Enk. That’s the sound my wife’s car made when it hit the Subaru next to us. It’s actually a comforting color – it evokes the same kind of feeling that you get when you smell wood smoke. Blood isn’t just red anymore. It’s also Cruor. Blood was the last thing I saw before I lost my vision. Victoria was driving. She was drunk, but not as drunk as I was. We were fighting. It was my fault.

“Was she worth it John? Was she worth ending all that we’ve had together?”

She wasn’t. Hiring a prostitute was never something that I thought I would do. Losing my marriage was never something that I thought I would do. But I had grown bored with our marriage. I wanted something new.

I didn’t know that wanting something new would mean she would let go of the wheel. As the car swerved onto the shoulder, I tried to pull the steering wheel back. I pulled too hard. We slammed into a car that had just pulled into the far right lane. A 17-year old girl was behind the wheel. The collision snapped her spine in half. She died in a pool of her own blood.

Our car spun out and crashed into the median. Victoria was thrown from the car. My seatbelt pinned me to the seat. The windshield exploded into a million pieces.

Broken glass has a whole slew of colors present in it. Too many to name.

Glass rained down on me. It sliced through my skin like it was clay. Two big shards lodged themselves in my eyes. The last thing I saw was blood. The last thing I heard was Victoria screaming. “God! It hurts! Please god it hurts!”

I’m not sure when I woke up. Without my vision I was helplessly adrift in a sea of darkness. After a while, I heard a voice asking me if I could hear it. It was a woman’s voice. A nurse.

“Yes. Where am I?”

She told me I was in the hospital and that I had been in an accident. I couldn’t see her face, but I could tell she was frowning when she told me that I was going to be blind for the rest of my life.

As it turns out, you don’t need eyes to cry your eyes out. That’s all I did for the first few days. No doctor could help me. After a week of living in my own personal darkness, someone up above took pity on me. They called a specialist. He was working on an experimental procedure.

“How much?”

“No money. I’ll do the procedure for free.” He had a slimy, southern accent.

“What’s the catch?”

Mr. Southern Gentleman was from a testing facility in Giliman County, Colorado that was working on bio-mechanical enhancements. They needed somebody whose eyeballs had been destroyed but somehow still had functioning optic nerves. Someone who still had full brain function and could describe what they saw. Someone desperate enough that they wouldn’t mind being a human guinea pig. That was me.

The surgery took four hours. They had warned me beforehand that my experimental eyes would be more powerful than my original eyes. They didn’t warn me that my pentrachromatic eyes would see things that mankind wasn’t meant to see.

After the procedure, the first thing that struck me was my finger nails. They were colorful in a way I had never seen before. I asked the nurse if she had painted them. She hadn’t. Her fingernails were also colorful. As it turns out, fingernails aren’t colorless. They’re a color I call Foedus. It’s probably for the best you can’t see it. It’s not a pretty color. The nurse’s breath was a color I called Nubila. Most people’s breath is still colorless to me but if a person smokes cigarettes regularly enough then it becomes Nubila.

Growing used to being able to see again meant growing used to all the new colors. Everything looks different than it did before. People’s faces are so complexly colored that it’s easier to identify someone by the random patches of color on them then by the actual shape of their face. It’s comical that there is so much fighting about skin color in the world because when you can see 10 billion colors the slight chromatic differences between black and white don’t make a difference.

Sometimes I think that my new vision is a positive thing. But then I’m reminded of when I first laid my new eyes on my wife. I’m reminded of the things no man should have to see.

The first time I saw her was two months after the accident. Victoria had been more heavily injured than me. When she was thrown from the car it shattered the bones in both her arms and legs. The bone fragments tore up her musculature pretty bad. It took 12 hours of surgery to save her life. They had to amputate everything. Her skin was so burned by the asphalt that it took four skin grafts to restore her face. They never got it quite right.

I thought I was prepared for Victoria to be a quadriplegic. Doctors explained her condition ahead of time and warned me that it would be gruesome. They warned me that her limbs would be nothing more than stubs. But they couldn’t see what I could see. They couldn’t have warned me that there would still be something where her limbs had once been.

Four ghostly blobs extended from her bandaged arms and legs. They had the shape of her missing appendages, but they were contorted and bent at weird angles. When she moved the stubs the blobs followed as if they were the original limbs, albeit broken. They were a color that I’ve come to call Anima.

I dread seeing the color Anima. It appears in very… consistent circumstances. Most amputees have Anima limbs sprouting from their stubs. The air around graveyards and crematoriums is tinted Anima. Occasionally, the meat you get at the grocery store has an Anima aura emanating from it, but only if it’s really fresh. For a while, I thought that Anima was the color of death. Last week I learned what it really is.

Victoria passed away last Monday. It’s been almost a year since the accident. I guess it was her time. My wonderful Victoria fought as long as she could, but eventually her body gave up. She died in our bed while I was in the shower. I was heartbroken when I found her. Only when she was gone did I realize how much I took her presence for granted. I called 911 and laid down next to her while I waited for the ambulance to arrive.

Her last days had been hard for the both of us. Even with heavy medication, Victoria experienced constant phantom pain in her missing limbs. On the nights she was able to sleep through the pain, she usually had vivid dreams about the accident. I tried to push the thought of it out of my mind, but I was reminded of the crash every time I laid eyes on her ghostly limbs. When her time came, I secretly hoped her passing would be a relief for the both of us.

It was a beautiful funeral. I picked out the flowers. She would have liked them, even if she couldn’t have seen all the colors in them that I could. When I got home I saw that there was a stain on the bed where her body had been. It looked familiar.

It was Anima. The color of her ghostly limbs.

I changed the sheets. After a few hours another stain developed. I changed them again. The stain came back. No matter how many times I washed the sheets the stain kept coming back.

I started sleeping on the couch to get away from it. Looking at the Anima colored fabric just reminded me of her death. Two days ago, I was in our bedroom changing clothes and I noticed that the stain had disappeared. In the space inches above where it had been there was now an Anima-colored cloud floating in the air. It was moving. Over the course of the next few hours, the cloud took on a humanoid shape. The shape of my Victoria.

Last night, the Anima cloud got out of bed. Its movement is painstakingly slow, but somehow very humanlike. This morning it was standing in the kitchen when I made breakfast. I tried to ask my neighbor if he could see the shape too, but he just looked at me like I was crazy.

Only my special eyes can see the Anima figure. It doesn’t have a face or anything but I can still tell its staring at me. It follows me everywhere. It sits in the passenger seat when I drive my car, stands next to me at the bank, watches me while I shower. Its right behind me even as we speak. A dark, indescribably-colored visage of my dead wife. Staring at me. Watching me with eyes that aren’t there.

I’ve tried to outrun it but it always catches up with me. It won’t leave me alone. Anima won’t stop following me. Anima isn’t the color of death. The thing following me can’t be dead because it always knows where I am. It moves just like Victoria used to move. It’s her. I know that it’s her.

I see Anima clouds like her everywhere now, following people. They’re in the shape of our loved ones. The ones who can’t bear to tear themselves away from us. Most people have one. If you’ve lost a loved one, then you probably do. Only my eyes can see them.

Victoria – if it really is you in that cloud, then I’m sorry for everything I did wrong. I’m sorry for all the words I never got a chance to say. Please don’t follow me anymore. I just want to be alone. I know you can read this.

STOP STARING AT ME VICTORIA.

I don’t think Anima is the color of death. That things that follow us are alive, at least in their own way. They’re the souls of the departed. Souls that are trapped. Souls that can’t stop following us. Man was never meant to see Anima. We were never meant to know what happens to us when we die.

I see the colors you cannot and they hide a horrible secret. There is no heaven or hell. When we die, we don’t move on. We stay and watch, silently, until the end of time.

Please leave me alone Victoria. Please stop staring at me.

[tikien]

#OpenLetter

An Open Letter to one of the Immeasurable Secret Mistresses of my begone Big Love:

Feel like Spread the word? Please do.

Share your thoughts? Oh yeah.

But above all, do what you, Yourself want to do with it.

Nothing is as it seems...

Xx Caroline

Hello Milly,

I am a woman of truth, I always favour truth, purity, however cold or cruel or hard the truth will be for me. It means I can then move on without wasting my time of being fooled by lies intended to preserve my feelings.

I do not have any control over your behaviour and I absolutely have no desire to carry that burden.

But I refuse, I will not tolerate, not indulge your disrespect for my children and me, ánd indirectly for all of my dearest ones who I love. (Not to mention your children, your parents, your 'loved' ones, the world where we live in.)

Your rudeness Milly, your dishonour, your inpurity, indelicacy. Your betrayal for all those years, it is dísgusting to me Caroline, a woman you don't know 'Kak' about. But what you dó know, is that you were cocksucking my husband and screwing around with him for years!

You were my backyard neighbour. You lived and sneaked around behind my back, literally backbiting. Twisted story this, but don't worry bearded darnel, to me, you, is only a small piece of my total reality.

The day my husband started cheating on me, by having disgraceful frustrated sex with a forever unenlightened number of women and with you, he started to take home theirs and your sick negative energy. Into my life! Into my home! Affecting my everyone! And affecting my everything.

At first you two met at your secret meeting point, the fishing spot. And while others around you were having real fish pleasure (and getting free performance) you were fishing rotten fish, in my pole.

Not to speak of your pathetic text messages when approaching my husband. Like the code-sign which you two agreed.

Luckily you do not have a partner to hide for.

The secret-code-sign was to use the . (the point), when the initiative was yours. My husband then would always have an excuse like: "Oh that's someone workrelated, it was probably unintentionally."

(Note: I've read my husband named you 'Trackreceipt'-and then mentioned-'the name of a big workrelated company' in his phonecontacts. He also identified you as 'AaaaaFucker', 'Overaged cocksucking whore', 'Assfucker', 'Suckwhore' and so on. Most recent your label was only 'Whore'. Sorry for the awful accurate words, I just read history.)

Well, the pointless points . .

You texted a lot of unintentional ones . .

.

.

.

.

Childish cleverness.

But it must feel exciting right? To have that bond? Oeehhh a little secret-code-sign between just the two of you, between you and my husband?

Later on you got more confident (misplaced). Texted him things like "Fishing game?" and "You have my heart". Or did you mean "My hell is yours"?

You felt secure enough then to get your knees dirty and fooling around with him at your own place.

Just a couple of meters distanced from you, literally behind your back, I was there, at home, waiting my husband to come home late from work. Oftentimes proudly yearning for my 'hardworking dedicated' husband.

If I had only watched my back I could have smelled, heard and seen you two fuck buddies. A perfect Satire!

Eventually you had no dignity at all anymore. You felt entitled to enter and to fuck up My Home!

Do wrong to no one Milly!

And let me be very clear again: Never Ever enter my property, or even put one foot in my garden and in my house ever again!

You watched and spied on my husband our kids and me. For so many times.

I saw you once, watching us getting into our car. Openly spying at us. (secretly eyeballing). Hanging on your balcony while smoking a cigarette and patting your cat. With that smile on your face full of misplaced courage and selfishness and your imprudent bodylanguage. Now it all makes sense to me. It was too risky for him to look back, hein? Ánd you knew, it made you feel excited, powerful, what a sick mind games.

Did it make you feel great to 'have' that power?Did it make you feel happy? Didn't you think of our emotional wellbeing at all? That was totally not in your interest, right?

What do you feel every morning when you wake up? Are you capable of taking a real look into your own eyes in the mirror? To look at your soul, who you are for real? That includes your darkside.

Well, do you love yourself? As a human being? As a mother? Maybe a grandmother? As a daughter? Do you love yourself as a friend? As a secret mistress? Do you?

And do your loved ones know about the pure Milly? How you live your life for real? Or is it all fake what's in your life?

Do they know that your ego, your self-interest is your foundation of morality?

If they don't, they cannot help you and you will always continue to live your life feeling empty and lonely. Loveless loneliness causes addiction and if you can't bond with other people you'll bond with the source of your addiction.

As you know already I unexpectedly caught you in flagrante delicto recently.

Seeing you skilled sneakin' through the bushes, entering my house by the backyard. And flee out of my frontdoor, like a trapped thieve, after I entered my own house by the back, out of the blue.

What the Heck you think you were doing?!

The minute I left my Home with my children, out of necessity, you thought you had a Chinese bucket to enter my property more freely? And enjoy my house more and more?Which still should be the save and peacefull home of my child!

You really thought you had a free ticket to infect the love in my house which was put in by my loved ones and by me?

Enjoying your stolen time and drinking the liquors which I brought into my home? Malibu mixed with orangejuice is what you drink, isn't it.

The sexual slackness you had with my husband has little to do with being conscious, and no love at all.

Sexual intercourse, being intimate with someone should balance each other, sharing tenderness, gentleness, sensitivity, pure vulnerability, trust, acceptance, respect. Grounding an inner connection, strengthening a boundless soul bond, and creating more unrestrained pure extased love energy.

Sex divorced from love is the thief of personal dignity.

Did you really think you had my permission to befilth and pollute my house with your unhealthy body and your unhealthy soul?

You knew better all along, referring to your way of entering my house, pourly dressed and experienced-bush-worming.

Respect other people's feelings Milly, even if it doesn't mean anything to you, it could mean the world to them.

And maybe, maybe you have to speak it out loud. Look at yourself in front of the mirror and say it:

"I am Milly, I am 50+ and I sneak through bushes. I am a practicing christian and I secretly enter and pollute a place where I do not belong at all. I know I hurt others because of my desire for sins, but I do it anyway just to meet up my fuckboy. I am proud to be a secret mistress!"

How does that feel? To be honest with yourself? That's what it is.

You two had real great times hanky-panky in my house, hein! Suck facing, roughhousing, having tear-jerking-fairy-tale-junkfood-dinners-for-2, under my cosy sheltered porch.Drinking some vanish-all-boundaries-booze by heavenly candlelight. Did you take a good look at the light? Did you stare into the flame? And at the picture? The picture shining next to this always burning candle?

The picture of my deceased father, me and your secret fuckboy? How shameless romantic, getting off by that. Disgraceful sickening.

You have serious problems Milly. You're not healthy, and by saying that I mean you have mental issues (and therefore also physical inconveniences). You have no self-respect, no self-esteem, no self-love and no dignity at all.

What about your infantile loveletter you put so brutally in the car of my husband?

Your words, and a red heart with a stethoscope on it, printed on paper.

That's a good advice for you Milly: To listen closely to your heart and maybe you should use the stethoscope. It is often used to listen to heart sounds.

Within the letter you put a golden key with a red ribbon on it.

And your words to him:

"The key is to use to the entrance of my heart, might you ever need it don't hasitate. For a fishing-game on the familiar place. You will always be here, if you'll ever come or not. Think of you. Your secret mistress."

So, it's necessary to use a golden key with a red ribbon, to open your heart? Wow! Amazing!!! My heart Milly, is freely accessible for love, no key needed.

The familiar place? The fishing-you-and-cocksucking-my-husband-in-a car-spot is a well known (read: save and happy) place for you? For a woman of your age, are you happy by that circumstances? Seriously?

Your secret mistress? Uou must be very proud of yourself, hein? Nicknaming yourself his secret mistress to him. Is that what you admire? Or desire? Betrayal and secrecy. Superb Milly, really magnificent. Noteworthy!

You sneaked around my home, putting your hopeless non-attractive-begging-for-the-wrong-attention-love-letter into his car, while we probably were asleep next to each other, only a couple of meters distanced from you. Inglorious humiliating.

How does it feel to walk willingly into a dark path? It seems so unsophisticated to me and without any shame. Rotten and greedy.

What did you feel when you heard of our divorce? You felt delighted? Finally, after all those years? Whoohooeewww. The party is on. And when you noticed our home went for sale? Ohhh yeah!

Does it make you feel blessed?

Knowing that you are partly responsable too, by inflicting your pain on others? Are you happy with the havoc you created? And don't you care about the people whose lives you have shattered?

No guilt? And now? While you read this, does is still make you feel delighted? Satisfied by your desires?

Always be honest with yourself Milly, so you can learn to respect yourself, to love yourself and to have some self-worth, Amour Propre.

For real, you must feel miserable being a fossil fuckgirl. It makes you lose your values, your character, reality and it isn't love at all. You gained lies, deceit and stolen affections which didn't ever belong to you.

Right after the moment I caught you red-handed, skulduggery in my house, I waylaid you at the back. Waiting for you to pass by on your pussyfooting way back home.

And there, after a couple of minutes, I saw you in distance. Walking towards me like a waddling duck and shiffling forward slowly. An insecure piece of human full of guilt, head pointed down and slumbed hunched shoulders of poor confidence, untruthfullness and pain.

'Flawless Miss Piggy on her too highly raised heels off the ground' and ‘Nellie hippo squeezed in 2 floating rings to keep her from drowning', were crossing my mind for a moment. Poor you. I felt your sadness and shame so deeply it overwhelmed me. The extreme sad anger, the negative energy you exposed almost made me puke.

When I stared into your eyes I saw they're coloured rarely and extremely beautiful, but not like a turquoise sea, which could be. There is no peace in your eyes Milly, your eyes didn't look pretty at all. What your eyes exposed to me made me feel godforsaken miserable.

I told you that very moment never to put one step, one foot, ever again in my garden or in my house again. Ever again!

I was very clear to you Milly: I forbid you to ever enter my property again.

You said you understood. Yeah, sure you understood. Shameless you. Leave your own shit in your own shithole and don't drop it in my place.

You do not have any respect for me or others. You dishonour my being because of your own selfish desires. It's embarrassing you're that desperate.

Let me stir up this textmessage, a message from you to my then husband: "Ready soon to fish I hope, I'm waiting my parents to leave".

This is the respect you have for your parents?Being busy with your fuckboy while they're in your presence? And hoping them to leave soon because of your desire for fish? Unbelievable. You actually should have to enjoy the precious moments of reality and be thankfull they're still in your life, for such a long time.

Did they harm you in anyway? Didn't they show you good moral behaviour? That, if you're about to do something and you want to know if it's a bad idea, you should project it on yourself first?

Do the right thing Milly, even when no one is watching, it is called integrity.

The relationship you set with yourself sets the tone for every other relationship in your life, you have with anyone. So, see every problem in your life as a lesson for you to make yourself stronger, more loveable, happier. Thén you'll never have to play the roll of the victim.

That's where you good at right, playing the victim? Hoping that it's giving you the attention you desire for? It's not ever gonna make you happy.

Desire, Lies and Secrets are like a cancer to the soul. It eats away what's good and leaves only destruction behind.

Have you ever really questioned yourself? What you were doing? And what the concequences could be? Also for other people, who don't want to be involved? Which you knew all along, but you left them no choice. My children? Your children? My parents? Your parents? My siblings and their families? Yours? My sincere friends? Your friends? All of my dear ones who are in my heart? Me myself?!

You inflamed love, kindness, temperance, humility, wisdom, respect, diligence, patience, justice, trust, self-temperance, innocence, acceptence, courage, believes, hopes, grace, caritas and so on an on.

People like you Milly are a pain in the arse, a plague, by protecting the purity of children. Children must not be cursed by emotional immature harmful and abusive 'adults' like you. By you poisonned beings. You bedevilled their purity. You sparked off a piece of their childhood. Giving them the inescapable burden of seeing their parents' grieve which they cannot understand at all.

Do you think children have the ability to see the light in the fact that there are people in this world who harm innocent people who they don't know because of their own ego? That these people can even be your own neighbours or your loved ones? Do you think they can cope shit like this?

Sounds really logical hein? Who wouldn't understand?

Lots of 'grown-ups' do not even have the awareness of understanding the poisoning conduct of people like you, people who suffer from mental disorder.

How did you guide your children good moral in life without them seeing any?

Do you realize how much strength it costs? Strugling every day to stay pure, strong, loveable and unconditional? As a mama? As a sister? As a friend? As a daughter? As a human being? To be a happy person? Who loves life? Pulling yourself out of a poisonous situation with someone you loved so deeply? Do you have any idea?

I think you do know the feeling, the feeling of being deeply betrayed yourself. That has happened to you in the past right?

But you never were strong enough to face yourself and no courage to search in your own past, finding out what causes your pain.

Instead of getting better you got bitter. You started to inflict your pain on others, in your selfish pursuit of your own satisfaction of ignorance.

It is a working-your-ass-off-duty, an almost-unbearable-mind-growing-battle, a very-lonely-bewildered-struggle-not-being-able-to-verbalize-properly.

I can tell you that for sure Milly, as an 'experience-expert'.

So, don't ruin other people's happiness just because you can't find your own. And before hurting others, ask yourself what is really hurting you.

I have viewed your social media to see if I could learn. You remember this post you shared with the whole world?

"You can't change the world but you can make a difference."

Is this the difference you want make Milly Making this world a little more rotten?

Practice what you preach or change your speech.

This world would be a better place to live in, if we learn not to play with heads and hearts of others. If we stop hurting peoples' feelings. If we all make ourselfs strong enough never to lie, no matter what the situation is. If only we all would learn to be true.

I read you are a daughter of god, a practicing christian, a pearl in God's hand? “You know that the Father knows you? You know that you are of value? You know that you're a pearl? A pearl in God's hand!"

Do you know the deeper meaning behind this Milly? Read about it. Is that the base of your morality?

Your profilepic and some other recognizable selfies made me wonder.

Why do you share your selfies on social media after sending this exact selfies first to my then husband? With your sweet tooth texts. I mean the ones you made with my husband in your thoughts or in your presence, you know? To show the world how happy you 'seem' just seconds after you went down on him? And to receive compliments (read: get false validation) of how beautiful you 'look' in that state.

Nothing is as it seems right?

Black can appear white when the light is blinding but white loses all luster at the faintest sign of darkness....I know.

And what about all the other things you carry, which cannot bear the daylight and are still hidden in the dark? Waiting to be found by you or to be taken into your grave someday? Your secrets, that are no big deal to anyone but to yourself.

You as a christian should benefit the precious advantage you have versus heathen. The ten commandments: very simple but very valuable fundamental guidelines, to live your life meaningful based on ethics and worship. And the seven Holy virtues, they cure the seven Capital sins, didn't you know?

You should take benefit from it and use this to leg-up properly. Mortal sin, I guess, is a refusal of God's offer to live and love. It's a sign of emotional immaturity, abusive and it should never be excused or tolerated. You are a pathatic lost woman who really needs help.

Everybody makes mistakes, through all of our lifes. And we all do some things sometimes we are ashamed of and regretting afterwards. But mistakes Milly, mistakes are meant for learning not for repeating.

There are going to be very painful moments in your life that will change your entire world in a matter of minutes. These moments will change you. Let these moments change you a stronger, smarter, kinder woman. Not a selfdestructing one who tears herself and others down.

Feel offended Milly? Insulted? Ashamed? Hurt? Humiliated? If so, realize it's your warning indicator showing you where to look within yourself for unresolved issues.

All of this is my perception, my opinion, the truth is whatever you think is true, I can only make you think.

But for you Milly I hope, just for your own sake, that you'll once be brave enough, strong enough and pure enough to change your heart of stone for a heart of flesh.

Love comes in miracles every day, like weakening the strong, challenging the weak, making fools of the wise, and wise ones of fools, favouring passions and obsessions, destroying reason, and in other words Love is turning tables every day.....

My sarcastic mirror of your own rudeness. Provoked to go love yourself. It is my gift to you Milly. A taste of your own medicine.

Wholeheartedly,

Caroline

What’s The point⚫️

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