#i cant believe we’re so close we gonna eat SO WELL BITCHES

[technowoah]

if you're taking asks for the prompts, can you do 11 and 17 from the angst list with george but have a fluffy ending? she/her pronouns pls

I Can Make It Right

SHSJS I HAVE SO MUCH ANGST IN MY INBOX YALL!

Thanks for the request babe! The way it came out was gender neutral i dont think I user she/her, but it still works trust me!

George x reader imagine (established)

11) "It's not important apparently"

17) "You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off"

⚠︎ angst with happy ending, unresolved issue but they're gonna fix it dont worry 😌, angry George, swearing

*** = flashback

Masterlist

You had stood infront of your bathroom mirror finishing up your makeup for the night. Your hair was already done and you had a nice outfit on, not to fancy and not too comfortable. While listening to a playlist George had made for you, you had put down the brushes you were using. It didnt really matter if you cleaned up your makeup that was littered all over the sink right now, but right now you were feeling good.

Today was your and George's 3rd year anniversary and you couldn't be happier about it. Today you two were going to dinner and doing something else which was supposed to be a surprise for you. It was a night on the town.

George and you met 4 years ago actually. You two started out as acquaintances, the slowly grew into friends and then one day he asked you to join him to dinner. At first you were oblivious to his actions, thinking he was just being a good friend, but turns out the more dates you two went on the more you caught on. He officially asked you to be his girlfriend 3 years ago today.

His friends keep on pressuring George to propose already, they think it's been long enough. The only thing close to marriage is a promise ring. He put the ring on your finger as a promise that one day he would marry you, everytime you doubt that he will propose you turn your attention to the cute ring on your finger.

You had turned off the bedroom lights and sat on your bed finally relaxing after struggling to find a decent enough outfit for tonight. George said that he was going to pick you up around 6:00 and now it is 5:47 so you had some time to spare.

You had found yourself scrolling through tiktok because you had nothing else better to do at this moment. It was a guilty pleasure of yours even though you and george both joked around about hating tiktok.

Time began to tick away so you had checked the clock on your phone which said 5:57 pm. You had grabbed shoes that you set up against your bed, slipped them on and grabbed all of your belongings for the night. You stationed yourself in the living room waiting till George came to the door.

Nervousness always came up before a date, it was the anticipation actually. You were excited and nervous about the date as you always were, but today for you was special. It was three years worth of beautiful love. You remembered the time he first said I love you too, it was just like it was yesterday.

***

"Hey y/n." George looked towards you. You both were sitting on a plaid, plush blanket with a brown woven basket ontop in between you two. It was just like the movies and that why you cringed because of how cheesy it was when George led you to it.

It was sweet, it was extremely sweet and you loved these dates that George always brung you too. You always felt special when you are sitting next to him.

You responded to George. "Yeah Gogy?" You laughed at the use of his nickname.

"Im trying to be serious right now and you call me Gogy." George smiled and shook his head. "Anyways, you know I love you, right?"

"Of course I do-"

"No I love you. I mean. I'm in love with you." George reached to rest his hand ontop of yours and repeated himself. "I'm in live with you y/n."

You wasted no time answering. "Im in love with you too."

***

6:03

George didnt show up yet, but there was no sweat. He was only 3 minutes late, maybe he ran into traffick. Your stomach was rumbling, but you didnt want to eat yet since you two we're planning to go to dinner. Patience is key, and it wasnt like he wasn't late before.

6:10

You started to get worried, it's been 10 minutes and still no sign of your boyfriend. You had gotton up several times to check outside of your door only to be met with no one. Your mind was jumping to conclusions about if he forgot your anniversary, but you shut those thoughts out for the time being.

6:19

Okay this is getting out of hand. You brung out our phone and began to text George, you couldn't believe that you had waited this long before texting the man.

Where are you? Ive been waiting for 29 minutes?!

[Sent: 6:20pm]

George what are you doing?

[Sent: 6:20pm]

You awaited his text message with your phone faced up on the coffee table infront of you. You didn't want to believe that George woukd forget, or overslept, but that was becoming truth the more minutes passed by with no call or text.

6:30

Calling him was useless, because he didn't answer. He didn't hang up on you he just wasn't picking up the phone, like he turned it off. You started to get worried if something happened to him, if he was in a situation where he couldn't call or text you. You wondered if he was safe at home and not out in the middle of the street.

In a flash all your worries subsided when your phone lit up with a notification.

ThisIsNotGeorgeNotFound is live:

Im Playing golf with my friends

That son of a bitch. Pissed off was an understatement, you were fuming. How could he end up streaming at home when you had constantly reminded him about this day, he knew damn well about this day too. How could he?

You ended up grabbing a jacket and your purse and ended up driving to George's place. It seemed like he was mocking you in a way, he knew you had notifications on for Twitch. You loved to support him and his career, but this was making a fool out of yourself.

Your hand tightly gripped the steering wheel as you tried not to run every red light you cane across. You finally came across George's home, you found a place to park and quickly got out of your car and sped walked your way to George's residence. Finally making up to George's door you knocked harshly on the door probably making more noise than what you intended too. You continuously banged on his door until you got fed up.

Remembering that George had given you a key to his house you dig through your purse to get your set of keys out anr unlock his door. You stomped inside his house and closed the door behind you.

"GEORGE! GEORGE!" You yelled through the house. You were being reckless and annoying, but you didnt care at this point you were fuming and needed to tell George how you feel.

You had made your way to George's recording room where he was talking to his friends on discord. George looked towards you in shock clearly not hearing the sounds you were making throughout his house.

"Y/N?!" George yelled and muted his microphone.

"What the hell are you doing?" You exclaimed back.

"Im streaming thats what Im doing!" George sassed back at you, not paying attention to his screen and the chat.

"Dont get smart with me. End the stream."

"What?! No!"

"You heard me, we need to talk." You crossed your arms across your chest. Your heart was beating too fast for your liking and you tried to calm yourself down, but George's comments were getting to you.

George was about to unmute himself and get back to the game. "No we dont-"

"GEORGE END THE FUCKING STREAM! This is embarrassing! Talk to me cause you have some explaining to do." You snapped at him.

A silence tell upon you two and he glared at you before turning to his stream and closing it out.

"Okay guys! Go watch the other boys streams I need to go now! Bye!" George quickly ended and turned off everything.

He turned around to you still sitting in his chair. "What? What do you want?"

"Do you know what today is?" You asked.

"April 30th." George answered bluntly.

"Thats all you have to say?" You asked in shock. "It's our anniversary dickhead!"

"I fucking know that." George said.

"You do? So why did you start streaming and we had dinner plans?!"

"I told you we were streaming! You weren't listening to me!" George stood up from his chair when he said that.

"When the fuck did you tell me this?!"

"A couple days ago! You didn't listen!"

"But you knew that was our anniversary! And we made dinnerr plans-"

George yelled over you. "A month ago! We made those plans a month ago so excuse me for forgetting!"

"So all these other years you remembered our anniversary and went out of your fucking way to cancel other plans around that date, but today you didnt because why?!" Tears were threatening to fall down you cheeks, but you wouldnt let him see you like that.

"Because I planned this already with the boys! And AGAIN you werent listening to me when I said that-"

"There were several other times that you could've told me too! But you didn't!" You sniffed trying to keep the frustrated tears inside.

"I already planned this and I cant go back on my promise-"

"But you can with me?!" You yelled and George stopped talking. He's just studying your face at this point and you hated this silence.

"Its not important apparently." You said while walking out of the recording room.

"You're being a bitch." He mumbled.

"Excuse me?! That is so disrespectful!" You spun around yelled at him.

"You already made me feel like shit so might as well finish me off." George said in a annoying tone.

"Yeah you should feel like shit! I feel like shit too so-!" You threw your hands up in exasperation and stormed out the room. You had made it to the door before George called out to you again.

"Y/n! Y/n! Please!"

"No! Just..." You paused before opening the door and ushering your way out. "Call me when you get your shit together.

You were currently curled up on your couch eating leftovers that you had in the refrigerator. That had satisfied your hunger for the night because the dinner was canceled that night. Your anger and sadness had subsided and you were only left with an unusual feeling in your heart. Your relationship felt incomplete, this fight felt incomplete. You didnt break up with him, but you were waiting for closure.

The TV was the only light in the room. It illuminated what it wanted to, you didnt care if it was too dark. Usually you would be cuddled up with George at this ungoldy hour, but you weren't and that made you tear up.

Your sadness was still there, your anger towards George turned into pity. You were sad about the actions he took, but somewhere in your heart you could forgive him. You could forgive and move on if he would come to you.

Speaking of, you had a knock on your door. You didn't have the strength to get up, but you did. Shuffling your way to the door you sluggishly opened it to find George standing there with his hands in his hoodie. The person you wanted to see, but at the same time you wanted to slam that door in his face.

"Hey." George spoke and you gave him a small smile, nothing more.

You turned around to find your seat back on the couch where you were comfortable, but also giving him a silent invitation to come inside. You had sat down on the couch not paying attention to George, but you knew he closed the door, took off his shoes by yours, and put his keys on the table by the door like he always did. It was like a routine to him.

George ended up awkwardly standing beside the couch as you ignored him.

"You know, if you didnt open the door I would've used my keys like you did." George tried to spark up a conversation, but you only hummed in response. You were scared that if you spoke, you would cry.

George ended up making his way to the couch sitting beside you and pulling you into his embrace. Your head was on his chest and you began to sob. You missed this it's only been a few hours, but you had felt that in those few hours you had lost everything. You continued to sob into his hoodie as he rubbed your back and shushed you, whispering sweet nothings into the air only for you to hear.

"Im here, and Im sorry. Im so fucking sorry that I did this to you and I only hope that you can forgive me." George said, his voice cracking a little when he said that. You kept crying.

That's what you wanted to hear all along, that's what you needed. You could forgive him in due time, you always will because you love him, you will always love him. You both can always make it right.

[unhinderedramblinglass]

So I am literally just speculating but something does not sit right with me about this last season. It doesn’t sit right with a lot of people but here’s my thing:

-knowing this is going to be the last season (I don’t know when they announced it but it was pretty early) and you went in, you started plot lines in s14 that would continue into s15 that just... didn’t go anywhere.

-you brought characters in and back for storylines that only fit to further the boys’ plotline, which would have been fine if you didn’t insist on killing them right after when the fandom has been asking you for years ‘please stop killing my faves’

-one of your actors, who’s been trying to convince you for years, goes full down knock down drag out for one whole ‘I love you’ scene to canonically make him gay (which you’ve been denying for years and made him sleep with women) and you decide to pepper little things throughout the entire season that shows Cas and Dean feel more for each other than just friendship. And instead of making Dean reciprocate, you kill him because of literary symmetry that stopped being relevant to the story in s4 or s5

-you then started a bunch of plot lines (and here is where it REALLY gets me) that were good this season. That were leading you up to the finale. And then you got to the middle of it. AND IT ALMOST SEEMS LIKE YOU JUST DIDN’T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH YOUR CHARACTERS OF 15 YEARS SO YOU JUST DECIDED TO THROW OUT AT LEAST 9-10 YEARS WORTH OF CHARACTER GROWTH IN ORDER FOR IT TO REALLY ALL TIE TOGETHER ( I mean, come on. They did a whole ass episode bout why being normal sucks and then all they wanted at the end WAS TO BE NORMAL I CANT EVEN THIS SHOW WAS EVERYWHERE THIS SEASON)

-and then you just LITTER the season with meta and foreshadowing (Dean and Cas in purgatory, Dean and Cas ‘what’s real about any of it?’ ‘We are’, Sam and Eileen not knowing if it’s real and breaking up because of it ((which didn’t even matter come sam wanting to get his dick wet but I digress 🙃)) and then you have Garth who got to live, his episode is ‘the heroes journey’ and he ends up safe, happy, still settled with his wife LIKE A MIRROR FOR OUR BOYS) and then you just DECIDE THAT NONE OF THAT MATTERS

-and then you did exactly what we asked you not to do for years. No matter how many times we all said ‘we want to see the boys happy, together, all three of them. We want them together as a family, even Jack too and Claire and the wayward sisters, we literally wanted everyone safe, happy, alive.’ So it doesn’t matter which ending they were going to give us, it was always going to end in a way we never wanted or asked for. They literally heard... okay. We kill the boys. And then everyone, even if they aren’t dead yet... will be in Dean’s heaven. That sounds right. EXCEPT THE PEOPLE THAT WE WOULD HAVE WANTED THERE, THAT WOULD HAVE MADE IT REDEEMABLE FOR US (Samantha Ferris, Chad Lindberg, Osric, etc) WERE NEVER GOING TO BE THERE. it was going to be filled with his abusive father, a mother that we fleshed out and mourned for a second (or third I can’t remember) time, a vessel of the guy that very much tried everything to get away from you and your brother and this life and was super not okay with it and only did it to save his daughter but sure, he cares about you, and the actual fucking band Kansas. Who isn’t even dead!

So you did that. You did all that. And so here’s where i absolutely eat fire. Besides wanting to know why on earth this was done to our show after years of asking them not to, I want to know why it nearly felt like they were setting us up for another season. They knew that s15 would be the last way before they started writing. They had the time to write this well thought out ending and they could have taken it so many ways. They could have closed a loop, they could have tried again with the spinoff as I’m sure it would be phenomenal now. But everything they did, every plot hole and plot line they opened and never closed again... feels like it should have been a set up for s16. Now maybe I have too much anger and this was done accidentally, but I don’t think so.

Now I want to add a disclaimer that there a no proof here, I’m speculating, of course. And there were never rumors about a s16. But with the way the season went, I can’t help but wonder if someone had already planned for one. And when j2m said no, we’re gonna hang it up, it fucked a lot of peoples plans of this show being their cash cow. Now, it’s completely possible that the writers are just bad as this show has given us some doozies before. maybe they recycled plot had they been planning for a s16 but Cas’ declaration scene was the first thing to be written so... I doubt that.

But here’s my thing alright, and if you’re already here with me, guys, stay with me: why would you leave all these open ends knowing there will be no other season, throw away all this character growth you’ve been writing and telling the fans about for 15 years, and do exactly what the fans asked you not to and leave them separated and stuck on blood when for years you’ve been telling us ‘family don’t end in blood’?

It was a fuck you. It was a big fuck you to everyone involved. And I don’t mean just to the fans, which is exactly what it was to all the people that asked for them to end up alive and happy (so most of us). Again, I say, I’m speculating but it sounds to me like producers, show runners, went out of their way to make this season not make any sense. To make it bad (the fight with Dean and Cas having been written more sad than angry, the way we had an entire holiday episode for the first time in a while but without Cas, the way they literally told us the ending in beckys scene and then had the nerve to make fun of the GOT ending, I won’t even mention saileen again, the way they knew it would only reach about 30% as a good ending). It sounds to me like someone was being a petty bitch. And especially towards Jensen and Misha. Going back to look at this season, those two boys were put through the ringer and were put at the forefront of our screens and made to go outside of their character especially in the last few episodes, and yet it was all a plot device for Sam to live on.

Jensen who went tooth and nail for his characters ending and hated it (even the original one because I’m pretty sure it was pitched to him precovid) got a car ride for the send off to his character. Misha who fought for Cas to be queer for years got to die and have 12 years of love be for nothing (as dean dies a week later). These are the two that have been trying to tell the show who their character really is for years. If you go back and watch panels, Jensen has been trying to tell them for years where he thought his character should go and he said multiple times that it got swept under. He said he left the meeting feeling drained and they told him he was too close to the story. Bitch, he’s Dean!

I can only speculate that Jared didn’t have as much back and forth with the writers and show runners, but I don’t actually know. I’ve seen a panel in which he said he’s done that stuff but they’ve literally either not listened or done the opposite so I have a feeling he stopped trying so hard after a while. But I can take a guess, after hearing what Jared said at his panel about the ending being good and right, that they brainwashed him just a little to believe that this is the ending they’d always been fighting for. They say forget AKF, forget pretty much all the growth you’ve had for the past few seasons and he had to go along with it. I can also speculate that with the new show coming out they were like ‘shhh this will be good for your ratings’.

TL; DR: I think the show runners/ producers purposefully set us up with a bad season because the producers/show runners are petty bitches and they broke our boys to do it.

[advena87]

Aiden & Lambert’s love story because we deserve more than one and we didn't get any (at least not in canon). Long Post!

check out also Kaer Morhen Shenanigans

Here is: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6, Part 7, Part 8 and Daily Lambert

also Keira & Lambert’s love story and… this.

I love playing with incorrect quotes. The ones below are already used a few times in Kaer Morhen shenanigans, but I modified and changed them, and added a lot of new ones.

So the idea is that young witchers from the griffin and cat schools come to Kaer Morhen - including Coen and Aiden. The purpose of the visit is for aspiring witchers to learn something from each other, and in fact it’s just an excuse to play with the idea of Lambert x Aiden. Of course, Lambert’s witcher brothers will try to help him with his crush, and they will not miss the opportunity to make fun of him.

The setting is like this because the idea that Geralt, Eskel and Berengar will be Lambert's wingmen is simply priceless. I know that this configuration had no right to happen in the canon, but the canon has hurt us more than once. That's why we always have to fix everything. And that's why Berengar appears in my posts. In my opinion he deserved it and you can't change my mind. And I think he and Lambert have so much in common that it's really a shame they never met in games. I think that they would have a beautiful dynamics of the oldest and youngest brother.

Anyway I hope you enjoy it! :)

.

Aiden: Hi, I am-

Lambert, shaking his hand: Handsome.

Aiden: -Aiden. And you are?

Lambert: Apparently not as straight as I thought I was.

***

Lambert: Can I ask a dumb question?

Berengar: Better than anyone I know.

Lambert: Is it gay to think about your best mate in the shower?

Berengar: …

Geralt: …

Eskel: …

Lambert: Asking for a friend.

Berengar: …

Geralt: …

Eskel: …

Lambert: But now seriously: I’m not gay if I wanna date Aiden as like bros, right?

Geralt: I’m no expert but that does sound kinda gay.

Berengar: I’m an expert. That’s gay.

***

Lambert: I swing both ways.

Lambert: Violently. With a sword.

Lambert: Also, I’m bisexual.

Lambert: … promise you won’t tell anyone?

Berengar: Your secret is safe with me. I wasn’t even listening.

*later*

Eskel: The printer messed up the invitations. It was supposed to say “Lambert’ birthday”.

Geralt: What does it say instead?

Eskel: “Lambert’ bi”

Berengar: Well that could still work.

Geralt: Wait, what? No, Lambert is straight.

Berengar: Trust me, he isn’t. The only straight thing he is gonna do is that he is gonna go straight to hell.

Eskel: Wait, Berengar, isn’t this thing between Lambert and Aiden supposed to be a secret?

Berengar: Hardly. The only people who don’t know Lambert loves Aiden are Lambert and Aiden. And Geralt for some reason.

***

Eskel: You and Aiden seem very close.

Lambert: We're just friends.

Berengar: Oh please, we all know you're a heartbeat away from getting his name tattooed on your ass.

***

Lambert: You look nice, I want to kiss you.

Aiden: WHAT

Lambert: I SAID IF YOU DIED I WOULDN’T MISS YOU

Berengar, behind Lambert's back, mouthing to Aiden: LIES

***

*Aiden and Coen talking and laughing*

Lambert: *staring at them silently*

Eskel: You’re really quiet today, Lambert.

Lambert: Nobody plans a murder out loud.

***

Lambert: Why does this griffin dude keep talking to you?

Aiden: Lambert, we are friends.

Lambert: I know you two are friends but…

Aiden, deadpan: No, Lambert, I meant you and I are friends.

Lambert: Yeah, we’re friends, but I’d fuck you if you asked.

Aiden: What?

Lambert: What?

Berengar, eating popcorn: He said he’d fuck you if you asked.

***

Lambert: Fuck, Aiden, you look like hell!

Aiden: Yeah? I just got back.

Lambert: Dude, who hurt you?

Aiden: Do you want a list or something?

Lambert:

Lambert: *grabs sword* Actually, yes.

Aiden: No, wait, we can’t solve all our problems with murder.

Lambert: How about just this problem?

***

Lambert: I think I might have a crush on Aiden…

Berengar: Congratulations, you’re officially the last one to know.

Geralt: Aiden would never date a jerk like you.

Lambert: Fuck you, shouldn’t I be one of your best friends?

Gerelt: Yeah, which is how I know you’re a jerk.

Eskel: So what are you going to do?

Lambert: I don’t know, something dramatic I hope.

Berengar: Oh for fuck’s sake, just ask Aiden out! What’s the worst that could happen?

Lambert: Humiliation, embarrassment, fire, explosions, collisions, tears, nudity and death.

***

Aiden: Can you ride?

Lambert: *looks at Aiden up and down* Yes.

Aiden: I meant the horse, Lambert.

***

Lambert: How do I politely ask him to slam me against a wall and make out with me?

Geralt: Lambert, it’s four in the morning, if you want to make out with Aiden just do it quietly, I don’t care how you ask him!

*next day*

Aiden: *hands Lambert a water bottle*

Lambert: *drinking it* Thanks, what’s it for?

Aiden: Geralt says you get thirsty around me.

Lambert: *chokes on water*

***

Lambert, smirking: So when are you gonna go out with me?

Aiden, smiling back: I don’t know, when are you gonna ask me out?

Lambert, freaking out: uhhh....

*later that day*

Berengar: So you ran away like a fucking coward?

Lambert: I DIDNT EXPECT HIM TO FLIRT BACK!!

***

Eskel: Why are you ignoring Aiden?

Lambert: I’m playing hard to get.

Geralt: Why would you do that? You’re already hard to want.

***

Eskel: I shouldn’t be interfering in this but give him a chance. Lambert would throw himself in front of a speeding horse for you.

Aiden: Lambert would throw himself in front of a speeding horse for fun.

Eskel: Ok, point taken, but don’t worry, he grows on you.

Aiden: Oh, really?

Eskel:

Eskel: No, actually, he just gets worse.

***

Aiden: I’m having problems with Lambert.

Geralt: Problems like ‘his dead body won’t fit in your cupboard’ or problems like ‘you like him’?

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Problems like ‘I like him’.

Geralt: Too bad, I could have helped with the other one.

***

Aiden: I have 4 friends.

Eskel: But there are 5 of us. Me, Geralt, Berengar, Lambert and Coen.

Aiden: Lambert is my special idiot.

Aiden: That’s different.

***

Aiden: Lambert, look me in the eyes and be straight with me.

Lambert: So… Do I look at you? Or do I be straight? I can’t do both.

***

Lambert: I’m in love with you.

Aiden: That’s… a terrible idea.

Lambert: Yeah, I have a lot of those.

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Well then, let's try.

Lambert: Wait, does that mean you like me? For my personality?

Aiden: I know, I was surprised too.

***

Lambert and Aiden: *walk into the room together with happiness written on their faces*

Berengar: So who finally confessed?

Lambert: It was me, I made sure it was short and sweet.

Aiden: You yelled, “Listen here, you little shit, I have feelings for you and it’s about time you acknowledged them!” from the castle tower.

Lambert: It worked though.

Aiden: All in all, this may come as a surprise to you, but Lambert and I are dating now.

Geralt: Damn. Now I owe Eskel 20 crowns. You guys couldn’t have waited another week?

Lambert: Wait, what?

Eskel: You two just earned me 20 crowns is what, so thank you.

***

Aiden: When you're gay in your house with nobody else, you're homolone.

Lambert: When you're bi and there's nobody else around, you're biyourself.

Berengar: You're two morons.

***

Coen: So, you've already made friends with Eskel, Geralt and Berengar?

Aiden: Yeah.

Coen: Great, just a little advice - stay away from Lambert.

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Lambert is my boyfriend.

Coen: Oh...

Coen: Um...

Coen: So, what's he like?

Aiden: Have you ever met a human version of a headache?

***

Coen, pointing at Lambert: Is this guy bothering you?

Aiden: Yeah, but he’s my boyfriend, I signed up for this

***

Aiden: You’re annoying.

Lambert: But you love me >:3

Aiden: Doesn’t make you any less annoying.

***

Lambert: *spills water on his shirt* Oh, what have I done? Now my shirt is all see-through.

Geralt: *rolls his eyes* And so are you. I know what you’re doing.

AIden: So do I, but I am enjoying the show immensely.

***

Lambert: Did it hurt?

Aiden, rolling his eyes: When I fell from heaven?

Lambert: No.

Lambert: When you fell for me.

Aiden: ...

Aiden: Actually, yes. It’s hurts every day.

Berengar, from distance: BUUURN!

***

Coen: It’s so exhausting having a boyfriend! You’re lucky you don’t have one.

AIden: Actually, last time I checked I did have a boyfriend.

Coen: No, you have a Lambert. That’s not the same thing.

Aiden: What do you mean?

Coen: Well, he’s more like a puppy. Excitable, loud, always happy to see you, protective, and he bites anyone who threatens you.

Aiden: …

Aiden: Point taken.

***

Aiden: YOU’RE SO ANNOYING! I CANT BELIEVE IM DATING YOU!

Lambert: ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! YOURE THE ONE WHO CHEATED!

Aiden: Because YOU cheated FIRST!

Lambert: YOU STUPID-

Eskel: I think we’re done playing gwent for tonight….

Geralt: Wait, no. I’m enjoying this.

Aiden: Don't you call me stupid!

Lambert: Okay, then how about 'bitch'?!

Aiden: Arrogant dick!

Lambert: Spoiled asshole!

Aiden: Fuck you!

Lambert: Fuck YOU!

Aiden: FUCK YOU!!!

Lambert: FUCK!!! YOU!!!

Aiden: ...

Aiden: My room, ten minutes.

Geralt: Okey... not what I expected.

Eskel: And we're done here.

***

Lambert: I have an idea, but I’m going to need your permission.

Aiden: Sudenly you need my permission? Why?

Lambert: Cause if I mess it up, I don’t want it to be just my fault.

Aiden: That sounds like a really risky and gay plan.

Lambert: So? You in?

Aiden: I thought it was an obvious answer.  

***

Aiden: I want to hear those three little words.

Lamber: I love you.

Aiden: Try again.

Lambert: Fine.

Lambert: I will behave.

Aiden: :)

***

Aiden: Close your eyes and hold out your hand.

Lambert: I played this game once with my brothers and got slimed by a toad.

Aiden: It’s not a toad.

***

Lambert: I didn’t raise you to be like this.

Aiden: You’re my boyfriend. You didn’t raise me at all.

Lambert: And yet you still call me daddy.

Aiden: Oh for the love of-

***

Eskel: I sleep with a knife under my pillow.

Geralt: Weak. I sleep with a sword under mine.

Lambert: You’re both pathetic.

Berengar: What killer weapon do you sleep with then, Mr. Badass?

Lambert, proud and confident: Aiden.

***

Aiden: The food's too hot, I can't eat it.

Lambert: You're too hot and I still eat you.

Berengar: It's family moments like these that we will never forget.

Geralt: With a good therapist, hopefully I will.

Eskel: I'm not hungry anymore.

Vesemir: One dinner. ONE NORMAL DINNER!!

***

Lambert: *phone starts ringing*

Eskel: *looks at who is calling*

Eskle, laughs: So you call Vesemir 'daddy'?

Lambert: *answers call and makes direct eye contact with Eskel*

Lambert: Hey, Aiden.

Eskel: *chokes on drink*

***

Geralt: Okay Lambert, truth or dare?

Lambert: Truth.

Geralt, smirking: Why did you get kicked out of the brothel?

Lambert, looking absolutely horrified: Oh no…

Aiden, whipping his head around so fast Eskel almost shits himself: You fucking what?!

Lambert: Look, you can’t be mad at me! I was just there, minding my own business-

Aiden: We both know that’s a load of crap, Lambert, you’re lying!

Lambert: Does this look like the face of a liar?

Aiden: You really don’t want to hear my thoughts on your face right now.

Lambert: Ok, you know what? Fuck you!

Aiden: Later. Now listen here, you little shit-

Geralt, laughing: Living my best life.

Eskel: Oh my God, Geralt, what did you do, they’re going to kill each other.

Geralt: This isn’t about them.

Aiden, siting on Lambert and beating crap out from him: Really Lambert, I expected better from you!

Lambert, rolling them and pinning Aiden to the ground: Then that’s your own fault! I’m not responsible for your expectations!

Aiden: Bite me!

Lambert: Where?

Aiden: ...

Lambert: So you going to take a swing? Or you just going to staring into my eyes?

Aiden: Hmm, what was that? I was busy staring into your eyes...

Labert: Oh you beautiful bastard! Just punch me already!

*Berengar enters room*

Berengar: What the fuck is going on here? Are they fighting or making out?

Eskel: At this point, I honestly can't tell.

*later*

Lambert: Eskel, how do I get revenge on Geralt?

Eskel: The best revenge is letting go and living your life to the fullest.

Lambert: …

Lambert: Berengar, how do I -

Berengar: Brick.

***

Aiden: How do you usually get out of these messes?

Lambert: I don’t, I just make an even bigger one that cancels the first one out.

Aiden: That sounds like a terrible plan.

Lambert: Oh, I’ve had worse.

***

Aiden: I’m fucking an idiot.

Eskel: Isn’t that grammatically wrong? Shouldn’t it be “I’m a fucking idiot”?

Aiden: No, I’m fucking an idiot.

Eskel: ???

Aiden, sighing: Ok, watch out.

Aiden: Yo, Lambert, are you high?

Lambert: What?

Aiden: High!

Lambert: Hello!

Aiden to Eskel, pointing to Lambert: That’s the idiot.

***

*witchers face complications during the contract. Lambert is abducted for the ransom*

Lambert, offended: You think I’m only worth 10.000 crowns?!

Kidnappers: What?

Lambert: Give me that *takes the megaphone*

Lambert: Make it 1 billion and we can think about it.

Aiden, from outside: LAMBERT SHUT THE FUCK UP!

***

Lambert: Okay, okay, what if I microwave a spoon? Steal some bees? Oh, oh, let's try to fuse corn and apples!

Aiden: What the fuck?

Aiden: Lambert, I asked you how we should spend our anniversary, I clearly do not remember requesting for ways to disappoint your family.

Lambert: Sorry, force of habit.

***

Lambert, drunk at 1AM: *in pajamas and blasting ABBA in his room* Gimmie gimmie gimmie my man after midnight! Won’t somebody help me-

Geralt in the other room: Aiden is dead. Get over it and go to bed! There’s your help.

Lambert: [drunken sobs]

.

[my-fanfic-library]

Something Different {BBC Dracula x Reader} [24]

Masterlist

[F/N] = father’s name

[B/N] = brother’s name

~^*^~

You tugged open a drawer, pulling out some underwear, before moving down a drawer to pull out some clothes that you always kept here in case you were forced to stay (like last night). Your body was sore, especially your stomach.

On the bed, Dracula was watching you as you dressed, loving the way the golden light hit your body and licked you in an angelic hue. The side of the bed that you had slept on was cooling quickly and Dracula hated the feeling of you slipping away. If you weren’t already worrying about what your parents were going to say when you dared to venture downstairs, he’d most definitely have you back in his arms. He eyed the wall. He would love to ram you up against it, make you squirm beneath him. Maybe throw you up so that your heat was in line with his face, legs wrapped around his head, back against the wall.

“Drac,” your voice broke his thoughts and he looked over at you, in just a pair of black lacy thongs and matching bra, “stop drooling, you’re soaking the sheets.” You winked.

“I believe the person who quite literally soaked the sheets was you.” It was his turn to smirk.

“Yeah but...” you trailed off, flushing, “get dressed.” You hissed in embarrassment. 

Dracula chuckled, pushing himself up to follow your orders. He knew you were already freaking out, he didn’t want to stress you any more. Within minutes, you were both dressed and you were staring at the door. Dear god, you were certain that the whole of London had heard you last night.

~^*^~

You sat opposite your mother, hands in your lap as she glowered at you. Dracula was sitting besides you, opposite your father who was lighting a cigarette.

The tension swirled in the air.

“You not hungry, Drac?” Your father spoke, breathing out a cloud of white. He pointed to the plate with an untouched full English.

“I’m afraid I’ve lost my appetite this morning, I’ve already eaten.” Dracula smiled politely and you shot him a look. When had he snuck out?

“What? After all of your strenuous activity from last night?” You gawked at your father. He had that look on his face that you knew all too well. He was doing this to get a rise out of your mother.

“[F/N]!” She shrieked.

“What?” Your father shrugged, taking another drag. Dracula smirked, “I’m just saying. If I’d been that busy, I’d be eating like a pig.”

“You are a pig.” She grumbled, “I cant believe you [First]!” And he had started her off... you shot your father look, “Doreen three doors down heard you! Not to mention you kicking poor Chelsea to the curb like that!”

“She had it coming.” You muttered.

“She did not ‘have it coming’!” Her face was turning purple as you started to sulk at her outburst, “she was only being nice!”

“Mother, being nice is laughing at a joke or asking if somebody has a pet! Not climbing all over them when you know they’re in a relationship!” You snapped back, narrowing your eyes. Both men were watching, very clearly enjoying the commotion.

“You didn’t need to do that to her! Oh my goodness, what are the wives going to be saying about this?” She dramatically put her hand to her face.

“Oh, you just worry about the gossip, eh?!” You slammed your hands down on to the table, “don’t worry about how your own damn daughter feels about some bitch trying to sleep with her boyfriend!”

“[First].” Your father said sternly, “don’t swear at your mother. And don’t hit the table, it’s real mahogany. None of that veneer shit.”

“You just worry about your table, [F/N]! Don’t worry about your poor old wife being abused by her only daughter!” Your mother cried out, in hysterics all of a sudden.

“I just told her! What else do you want me to do?” Your father defended.

“My god, I liked that Daniel fellow more than this...” your mother whispered.

“Mother, I had sex with Daniel in your bed when you went to Tenerife for two weeks. We also had sex on your porch swing, which is how it broke!”

Your father and Dracula had to conceal their fits of laughter at your confession and your mother’s subsequent shock that followed. A high-pitched sound of distress came from her ajar mouth.

“I KNEW IT WASN’T MRS. DENNINGS’ CAT!”

“Oh, and another thing - I don’t give a damn who heard me last night! I don’t care if all of London heard me because I love him-“ you pointed to Dracula, “and if I want to scream and cry at the way he makes me feel in the privacy of my own bedroom, then I will!”

Now, bearing in mind that Dracula hadn’t really felt anything in around 473 years (the length of time it had been since his heart had last beat), the way that you defended yourself by screaming for the whole street to hear that you loved him-. Well, there was a pang of something in his chest and the need to be as close to you as physically possible grew exponentially. You really were something different. Falling in love with a vampire, disobeying your own mother, working for an organisation that is definitley doing different to what it says on paper, yet the whole time regaining your innocence and your goodness. Your emotions wrapping you up and controlling almost every single thing that you did. You loved him - and he was certain that he loved you even more.

“[First] [Last]!” She cried out, face almost bulging in her despair, “how could you do this to me?! I’m going to be the topic of all of their gossip for weeks!”

“I don’t care! And neither should you! It’s gossip! Half of it isn’t even true!”

“How could you say that?! Barbra heard from Clarissa last week that Jenny has some man on the side and Sally has photo evidence!”

“That’s her cousin, mother!” You cried out, frustration filling your body. How someone could be so hung up on all of this trivial stuff was beyond you.

“Still! Everyone is going to be talking my daughter - the savage who beat poor Chelsea to the street and then who screamed the street down having angry sex afterwards with a man her father’s age!” You could tell that she was getting worked up and you sighed.

“Right. If you are going to dwell on this, then I am going to get up, walk out of that front door and you can consider yourself childless.” Her jaw dropped.

“[First].” Your father warned sternly.

“I’ve completely had it with you, now, worrying over everything everyone says about everyone else. They’ve twisted your mind so much that you’d actually try and control your adult daughter? You’re just upset that I wouldn’t go with Mark, but he’s a creep. He takes pictures up women’s skirts and goes to bars to hit on literal teenagers. And if you can’t accept that I am with Dracula, the man that I love, and you would rather worry over all the gossip that comes from it, then I am done and you can just have your son in Thailand who hasn’t been bothered to call in four years instead of your daughter who moved down the street just to be near you. I can’t take this anymore.”

“[First] [Last] will you get a grip of yourself?” Your father spoke lowly, tapping his cigarette onto the empty plate to rid some of the ash.

“You won’t leave me.” Your mother whispered, “you can’t. Because you know you’ll need me when he gets bored of you.”

Snap.

“Fuck you.”

You rose, glaring at her in a thousand ways. Your heart throttled in your chest. Now she’d done it. You knew that she loved you. Of course she did, but she would never let things go. She had always critiqued both your brother and yourself with every choice the pair of you made, but ever since your brother had left, she’d began to spend nearly all her time with the wives gossiping. She had become a tyrant and it was eating you up. You were tired of her constant criticism. You were tired of having to live to appease her friends. You weren’t doing it anymore.

“This is why [B/N] left.” You sneered, “because of you. Because he was in love with Kannika but you just wouldn’t stop trying to force him into a way of life to appease your friends. But not me, I won’t do it. Now I’m gonna go grab my shit. If I haven’t got a sincere apology from you before I open that front door, I am gone. Just like [B/N].” Your mother was staring at you in horror, tears in her eyes. Now your father was looking at your sharply.

You turned, fleeing the room and storming up the stairs. It only took a moment for the door to shut behind you and for Dracula to be blocking it once more. Once your dress was bundled in your arms, you turned to look at him.

“Move.” You growled.

“[First], you don’t want to do this.” He spoke softly.

“Yes I do. Now move so that I can teach her a lesson.”

“No matter your age, it isn’t a child’s place to teach their parents a lesson.”

“What? So you’re just gonna let her talk about us like that? Like we’re some freaky couple or something? No, move.” Now it was him that you were glaring at.

“[First], this is your mother. You don’t want to cut her out.”

“Very clearly I do. Move!” You bellowed.

“I am not moving. You are going to sort this out.” His voice darkened with his growing anger.

“Oh, I am, am I?”

“Yes.”

“And since when did you become the boss of me, huh? Being your girlfriend doesn’t make me your property, Dracula.” Your eyes narrowed. Now you were trying to pick a fight with him, too. He knew that you didn’t mean it but he couldn’t help the anger bubbling in his gut. You were being a brat.

“I am being serious. You need to calm yourself down, recollect your mind and go downstairs and have a civil conversation with your mother.”

“Alright. You go back down. I’ll calm down and meet you down there.”

Like fuck you were. Dracula, wanting to believe with every fibre of his being that you wouldn’t flee, gave you all of his trust and left the room. You were so gone with the anger. It hadn’t really settled down since last night. Grabbing your bag that you had brought last night, making sure your phone was in, you pulled out a backpack from your wardrobe and stuffed it inside, along with your dress and both of your shoes. Dracula had retrieved the one you threw at Chelsea - most likely when he went out to eat whilst you were sleeping.

And then you did something that you hadn’t done since you were seventeen years of age.

Clambering onto the bed, you tugged your backpack on and drew up the blinds to free the glass of the window. It was unlocked, and you pushed it open. You swung your leg over it was maybe only a foot away from the roof of the extended front, and you lowered yourself down. Carefully, you manuvered over the tiles, so that you could drop down by the front door, instead of the large window which would give you away.

Were you really going to do this? You had no idea what Dracula would do when he found you gone and the window open. You knew that this would break your parents’ hearts. You knew that Doreen three doors down would tell the whole city that you had fled your own home in the morning. You had to do this. Enough was enough.

Your feet hit the path, the pressure of dropping spreading through your legs. You turned and rushed to the gate. When you made it to the fence, you ducked down and waddled in a squat so that they wouldn’t see you rushing past.

“She’s going to calm down and then apologise.” Dracula explained to your mother, who was in genuine tears at the thought of both of her children leaving her in anger.

“She’s not.” Your father spoke.

“I’ve just spoken to her-“ Dracula began, but your father cut him off.

“I’ve just seen her run down the front path.” He lit another cigarette as he spoke.

Another pang of something hit Dracula in the chest. This one was painful. He ran to the door, skidding as he did so and rushed out. He caught a glimpse of you turning the corner.

“[FIRST]!” He made a dash for you. But once he reached the corner and began to sprint down the road, he realised that you had disappeared, “I’m going to kill her.” He whispered, feeling an intense wave of pain in his chest - something that hadn’t occurred in almost five centuries.

~^*^~

You sat across from Jack. You were still angry, but for his sake, you decided to just calm yourself. A cup of hot coffee sat steaming in front of you. The scent wafted into your nostrils and you sighed.

“Rough night?” Jack teased. You guessed he had heard some of your night with the Count.

“Rough morning. I climbed out of the window. My mother’s’ furious with me and she can go fuck herself.” You grumbled.

“What did you expect? She’s been trying to set you up with Mark for the better part of ten years and you waltz in with someone definitely not approved.”

“I didn’t realise a 26 year old needed her mother’s permssion to date.” There was a pause, “let’s not talk about it-“ your phone buzzing cut your off. You dug it out of your bag.

Dracula.

You switched off your phone and turned your attention back to Jack.

“What is it that you wanted to say?”

“I mean, I needed both of you here, to be honest...” he trailled off.

“Dracula doesn’t matter. Just tell me.”

“Alright. So, you know his lawyer, Renfield?”

“Yeah?”

“Well he told me what happened at the apartment. When he fought Dracula over you...”

“Right...?”

“He came to Robin Hood’s Bay, expecting you to have fled there. He’s totally gone beserk, [First]. He’s trying to track you down.” Your heart began to falter.

“What do mean he’s trying to track me down? What does he want with me?” The horror beginning to lace your words was drowning your tone and you began to rut your leg up and down under the table.

“He’s a vampire, [First]. He wants your blood. Specifically yours.”

You completely froze up. This was it. You couldn’t outrun a vampire, you knew that from Dracula. One way or another, he would find you, and eventually, so would Renfield. Essentially, Jack had come to tell you that you were sooner (much rather than later), going to die.

“What- I-... what are we-? What am I gonna do?!” You whispered in a panic.

“I don’t know. Do you think you could get to [B/N] anytime soon?”

“He’d find me, wouldn’t he? All he’d have to do is find out where my brother is and he’d find a way to get to Thailand.”

“Alright, well, is there anyone else that you could stay with?”

“...no...” you whispered.

Jack bit his lip in thought. An idea occurred to him. He knew that it would work. The only problem, of course, would be you. Making you agree to it would be so difficult.

“Why don’t you stay with Daniel for a while?”

You began to laugh at his words, after an initial pause of “what the fuck”.

“Yeah, right!”

“I’m serious. Literally no one would think about you going there.”

“Yeah, I’m being hunted by the most dangerous creature to exist, let me just go suffer for the last few days of my life by spending them with my cheating ex.”

~^*^~

You glared into the familiar emerald orbs, loathing the hand on your shoulder that forced you through the threshold of the apartment. You stepped away from the touch, looking around. It was small and cozy, quite homely. Clearly there had been a downgrade after you had left.

He looked at you, and then at Jack. Jack had never been so serious in all of their years of friendship, and he thought that he’d never see you again. He took in the sight of you. You had gone through your final change of adulthood during your split, your face maturing one last time, leaving you looking even more beautiful than the last time he had seen you. You had grown just a little taller, almost matching his height now.

Stepping backwards, he sat down on one of his two sofas and motioned for you to sit. Jack steered you towards the material and forced you down like a disobedient dog.

“What can I do for you?”

It was the first time had spoken a full sentence since that day and you remembered his voice speaking all sorts of things to you. Jack rummaged in your bag. He was about to do something that he knew would break your heart. He had to. Your safety was number one priority.

“She needs to stay here for a while.” Jack explained, pulling your phone from the bottom of your back and switching it back on.

“Why?” He leaned forwards. His hair had grown quite a bit and the blond locks fell into his eyes a little.

“It’s a long story, and you won’t believe it. So all you need to know is that someone dangerous is after her. She needs to be kept safe.”

You couldn’t speak. Your heart was pounding in your ears. You were shaking a little. Ever since you had ran away from this city, from this very person sitting in front of you, you had forced your heart back together without getting closure on the pain. Right now, it felt almost as raw as it had done. You could be married to him right now. None of this would be happening. You could be a mother, with a house and a loving husband. Yet you weren’t. You were here, sitting across from the man you had fled from, fleeing from a monster who wanted to kill you.

“She can stay.” He spoke, unable to take his eyes from you. It had been so long.

“Thank you, Daniel. I’ll pay you for extra food and stuff.”

“I’m not a pet.” You growled to Jack.

“No one said you were.” Daniel answered for him.

You couldn’t reply. You didn’t really care what Jack was doing on your phone. Maybe you would have if you had looked over.

[DraccyBoifriend: where are you?]

[DraccyBoifriend: come back.]

[DraccyBoifriend: you need to sort this out.]

[DraccyBoifriend: [First]. Please.]

[DraccyBoifriend: 6 Missed Calls]

[You: it’s over. we’re through.]

~^taglist^~

@vampiregirl1797 @avalanet @bunnyreese12 @nerdonpluto @teamceleries @grifffins @hitbythunder @winterseoul @mymagicsuitcase @angeli-fucking-cat @benedictethegoddess @bloodhon3yx @nifflersravenclaw @writteninthestars288 @labelladrama @frankcastlesgrunts @angelicdestieldemon @quakerlasss @aliisa-jones @wolverinexmenn @clairedragonessbaker @cryiner @mitsukatsu @piratewhore @your-pixels-are-showing @tardisnesss @ladydovahkiin180 @catwomom @god-of-dramatic-death-scenes @th3rah @viper-queen @mephdcosplay @greghouse7 @faeprinces @kokoro-no-yami @trishaferdream @therealmoni @crazytxgradstudent @sansthelonelypunster @crowley-needs-a-hug @girlonfireice @wasntpriscilla @ivanna6026 @savebensolo-ordie

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 6

A/N- Just a little filler chapter because i havent updated in a while 💕

Walking into the Barnes house Brooke and Allie ran straight for their Uncle Steve, both diving onto his lap clearly happy to see him.

"How are my favorite girls today?" Steve asked them with a huge smile, he really did love these girls... it was too cute.

"I had a picnic with Y/N at school, it was so much fun"

"You did huh? That sounds fun, maybe Y/N will have a picnic with me one day?"

He winked at me making me shake my head "I've already had a picnic with you Steve" i said dropping my purse and the girls school bags in the corner.

"That doesn't count though, that was a family picnic"

I could see Bucky looking at Steve in confusion then at me, i rolled my eyes and headed to the kitchen.

"I'll make dinner, then i'll get out of your hair for the weekend Buck" i said over my shoulder.

"No don't worry about dinner i'll just order pizza tonight"

"Okay, well i'll be heading off then" i smiled turning to grab my purse.

"You should stay for dinner" Bucky said quickly with a hand on my arm "as a thank you for today"

"Yeah! please stay Y/N" Brooke said bouncing in her chair "we like having you eat dinner with us"

"Come on doll, what else will you be doing if you go home?"

"Probably just watch a movie and crash on the sofa after drinking too much wine" i scoffed "fine, i'll stay for pizza but then i have to go before you start getting bored of me"

"Never gonna happen" Bucky laughed "you staying too punk?" He asked turning to Steve.

"Sure, I'm not one to turn down pizza".

Dinner felt so awkward with Steve there after he asked me if i was sleeping with Bucky. Normally things were so easy and comfortable around Bucky and the girls but tonight was anything but. I felt like i had to watch what i said and how i acted and i just ended up feeling so awkward!

"You okay tonight, you've been quiet" Bucky asked taking a mouthful of his beer.

"Me? No I'm fine just tired i guess" i gave him a tight lipped smiled "actually I'm gonna head home Buck"

"Already? But its still early.... you don't have to go"

"Its probably better if i go now before i get too tired, don't wanna be driving and falling asleep now do i" i stood up and grabbed my purse from the floor in the corner of the living room and rummaged for my car keys.

"You boys have fun, i'll see you Monday" i smiled and made my way out to the car.

"Y/N wait" Bucky was suddenly following me outside, i let out a deep breath before turning to face him with a smile "yeah Buck? Whats up?"

"I just wanted to make sure your really okay? Has something happened? Did i say something to upset you....."

"What? No Buck. You haven't done anything i swear, I'm just tired. I get a little....." i waved my hand in front of me not knowing what to say "you know, when I'm tired. I'll be fine after a few hours sleep, recharge my batteries"

"Okay, you'd tell me if it was something more though right?"

"Of course"

"Well just call me if you need anything?"

"Sure, goodnight. Have a nice weekend with the girls" i smiled before climbing into my car and driving away.

BUCKY'S POV

I couldn't help but over think everything, usually Y/N was so chatty and happy but tonight she'd been quiet, distant even. Nervously shifting in her chair throughout dinner, barely looking at me.... she wouldn't even make eye contact with me for christ sake!

"She okay?" Steve asked when i walked back into the house.

"She says she is, just tired apparently"

"You don't believe her?"

"No" i shook my head "its always so natural with her here usually, we get along great and chat... even after the girls are in bed we'll sit and have a coffee and just hang out..... tonight it was like she couldn't wait to get away from us" i fell down onto the sofa with a sigh "she wouldn't even look at me man.... what if I've done something to upset her?? What if she leaves us??" I say starting to panic at the thought of Y/N leaving.

"Come on Buck, your over reacting pal. For one, Y/N wouldn't leave you guys she loves you. And second, what could you have possibly done?"

"Maybe it was too much at the school... but it cant be that she seemed fine at the school. It was when we got home"

"What happened at the school?" Steve asks raising his eyebrows.

"Joanne Harper is what happened at the school!" I groaned throwing my head back on the cushion "that bitch is pissed that i turned her down and is doing everything she can to make Allies school day hell"

"What did she do now?"

"Y/N heard her telling Allie she shouldn't be at a mother daughter picnic because she doesn't have a mom" i tell Steve clenching my fists at the thought of this woman being so spiteful to my baby girl.

"She did what now??" Steve was pissed!

"Yep, Y/N put her in her place though, said she'd knock Joanne on her ass"

"She really loves those girls" Steve said smiling at me "i can imagine her doing it, Joanne wants to watch her back. Y/N's like a lioness protecting her cubs" he laughed.

"I gotta admit Steve, i love having her in our lives. I love how she treats my girls, she's the closest thing to a mom they've had in a while"

"And your sure its all just about the girls?..."

"What do you mean?"

"Im just saying you seem pretty smitten Buck" i couldn't help but notice Steve looked smug as fuck!

"What you trying to get at Steve?" I asked feeling defensive all of a sudden.

"Im just saying it'd be okay if you wanted to ask Y/N out"

"W..who said i wanted to ask her out? She's our nanny for christ sakes Steve!"

My heart was racing all of a sudden.

"Buck you guys are practically together minus the sex" he scoffed "your raising kids together, she cooks you dinner every night when she only has to do the girls......"

"She's just being nice...." was he right?? Was there something more between us but we're both blind to it?

"Sure she is pal"

“still doesn't explain why she was distant though..."

"Oh fuck it, that could be my fault" Steve said dropping his face into his hands and groaning.

"Steve..... what the fuck did you do?" I asked suddenly feeling nervous.

"I said how id noticed the two of you were getting kinda close... then i kinda asked if you and her were sleeping together”

“You did what??!” i whisper yelled sitting up on the sofa to look at him “why would you do that??”

“I told her i thought you guys were good for each other and that it would be okay if something was going on....”

“Steve why would you do that?” I run my hands through my hair in frustration “now she feels weird around me!”

“Honestly i don’t think its you.... its me”

“What?”

“Well you said she was fine with you at the school right?”

“Yeah” i shrugged not following what he was getting at.

“She only shut down when you got home, when you got home and i was here. Maybe she felt awkward around you because of what i said”

“She probably thought you’d be judging every little thing she did” i closed my eyes and sighed shaking my head at Steve “i need to go talk to her.....i need you to stay here with the girls”

“Maybe i should go talk to her, I’m the one that made this mess...”

“I think you’ve done enough Steve” i rolled my eyes at my oldest friend as i grabbed my jacket and car keys and headed out to my car.

Home taglist: @jeremyrennerfanxxxx123 @lumar014

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[backtobackbakubabe]

I’m Gonna Make This Place Your Home (part 2)

Bakugo X Reader

She’s just my roommate. 

Words: 2810

*****************************************************************************************************

He sipped on his third coffee as he scrolled through article after article on his laptop. It was almost noon and you were still sound asleep. He'd let you sleep as long as you needed. 

He had woken up with your back firmly pressed against his chest and his arm snug around your waist. He hated pulling away from you but he had to remind himself that he didn't know you and this was probably the last thing you needed. You had been a prisoner almost your whole life. You didn't need someone like him in your life. Someone harsh and angry. You had had enough of that already, he had seen it in your dream. He would be an asshole if he tried anything with you. So he would have to settle for slightly over protective roommate. 

He was looking for any article that might be linked to you. Trying to find out more about you, anything that would confirm your story. Not that he didn't trust you, but he just needed to know. He had been looking for almost an hour and he couldnt find anything. He already knew you weren't going to be on any social media. But he couldn't find any articles about a kidnapping or a missing persons report. To be fair he didn't have much to go on. All he had was your first name. He didnt even know how old you were. 

He was about to give up when something caught his eye. 

It was picture of you. You were very young maybe 5 or 6, but it was definitely you. 

Childs mother accused of selling her daughter and making it look like a kidnapping. Police found a suspicious amount of money that had been transferred to the mothers bank account only two days before her daughter was supposedly kidnapped. The transaction was untraceable, leading the police to believe that it was an illegal transaction of some kind. The daughter is on record for being an early bloomer who’s quirk is dream related. Such a quirk would be very dangerous in the wrong hands. The detective who made the original report on the kidnapping is now under investigation as well for corrupting evidence and tampering with the crime scene to help it fit the mothers story. 

And he thought he had a shitty mom... He couldnt help but stare at the picture. You looked so happy. You had braided pigtails and a goofy smile, showing off your missing teeth. You were so young... You had no idea that you your life was about to turn to shit. You didn't know what your life was going to become. It wasn’t fair... You didn't deserve this. The little girl in this picture deserved a chance to be a kid, to grow up, to be normal. But that was taken away from you. You would never get that time back. 

Thanks to the article he now knew how old you were, only about a year and a half younger than him. He cringed at the thought that while he and Deku were out exploring as children you were being forced to work for villains.  

He slammed his laptop shut when he heard you tip toeing into the kitchen. Still only wearing his oversized hoodie and boxers. Your hair was now in a messy bun and you looked adorable. You were only in the kitchen for a few seconds before you came out with a cup of coffee. 

You sat down on the couch next to him criss cross style. You gave your cup a weird look as you smelled it. 

“What? Did I make it too strong or something?” 

You gave him an embarrassed look, “I’ve actually never had coffee... I’ve always wanted to though. There was this book I read once, when I was probably around.. I don’t know thirteen. This girl met her soul mate at a coffee shop. She had written her number down on a napkin but he accidentally threw it away. Then he ended up going there every day in the hopes that he’d see her again. At the same time she was coming back to find him, but they kept missing each other. He ended up finding her again because she had a really weird coffee order and he heard someone call it out at the coffee shop. ” You shrugged, “I know it’s just a drink and its so stupid but...I don’t know.”

Bakugo stood up and took the cup out of your hands, “Well you’re not going to drink this shit then. Come on put some pants on. We’ll go out and get some real coffee.” 

You tried not to be nervous as you walked a few blocks to the coffee shop. Bakugo was with you. Nothing would happen. You kept looking over your shoulder expecting someone to jump out and say ‘Gotcha’. Bakugo could sense you were a bit stressed so he put an arm around your shoulder and leaned in, “It’s okay to be cautious. You have every right to be. But you cant live your life in fear. As long as you’re with me you’re safe. Got it?”

You nodded taking a moment to enjoy his caramel scent invading your personal space, “Got it.” 

You kept having to stop every so often and pull you pants up because it didn’t matter how tight you tied your borrowed sweatpants, they were just too big. Bakugo noticed this and paused. “Ok so clothes first or coffee first? You look a bit uncomfortable. I can can get you some clothes that actually fit you.”

You hugged yourself, “I wouldn't mind some pants... maybe a few shirts. But I actually really like this hoodie. Do you think we could get me one.”

Bakugo gave you a soft smile, “If you like it that much you can have it. Its just an old UA hoodie. I have tons of them.” 

You gave him a beaming smile and a quick nod, “Thank you! I’m going to wear it everyday!”

He just laughed at you, “Really it’s no problem. It’s probably best if you wash it every once in a while though. So clothes first or coffee?” 

You didn't even hesitate, “Coffee!” 

A few minutes later you both were standing in line in the cutest little cafe. The menu was huge and overwhelming. You nervously tugged at your hoodie sleeve, looking back and forth at the expansive menu. 

Bakugo saw your eyes dart back and forth over the menu, “That side of the menu is all tea. This side over here is all coffee. For your first time I would go with something sweet. Are there any flavors you prefer?”

You blushed, “I’ve recently been craving caramel.” He didn't need to know that that was purely based on the fact that he smelled like caramel last night when he was holding you when he thought you were asleep.

He nodded as you approached the front of the line, “Two hot caramel lattes, biggest ones you’ve got. And if you could add some cinnamon that'd be great thanks.” 

The girl behind the counter gave Bakugo a bright smile that made you uncomfortable. She looked crazy... why is she looking at him like that? “Is there anything else I can get for you? Anything at all?”

 You looked at him as he handed over some money to pay for your drinks. He seemed like he wasn’t paying her any attention. “No that’ll be it, oh wait! Y/n did you want anything to eat? Muffin? Croissant? Bagel?”

You bit your lip, “A muffin sounds amazing.” 

He smiled, “Yeah I agree.” He turned back to the girl behind the counter his smile disappearing, “Please add two blueberry muffins to my order.”

The girls smile faltered as she turned to look at you. Obviously not impressed with what she saw. “Of course, we’ll have that right out to you.” She rolled her eyes as soon as she didn't think Bakugo was looking, but you saw it and you had no idea what you could possibly have done to upset this complete stranger. 

You chose a cozy looking corner that had a couch and a little table. You were basically buzzing with excitement. You jumped up when you heard them call your order. You were almost to the pick up counter when you stepped on the end of the sweatpants you were wearing and tripped. Bakugo was up and at your side in an instant, “Hey walk much? I know you’re excited but I promise its nothing to trip over.” 

You knew by his tone he was just teasing you. So you took his outstretched hand and pulled yourself up, “Thanks. I’ll try to be less embarrassing in the future.” 

The same girl who had taken you order was now leaning over the pick up counter, “Well I’d start with not wearing baggy ass clothing in public.” She pushed your coffee towards you and plastered on the fakest smile you had ever seen, “Have a nice day. Come  back soon.” 

Bakugo’s hands slammed down on the counter but somehow when he started talking he sounded completely calm. Which was almost scarier, “Look here little miss bitch. I dont think you have a problem with her clothes, I think you have a problem with her wearing my clothes. I've been coming here for years and you always fucking flirt with me. It’s not my fault that after all this time you haven't picked up on the fact that I’m not interested. Next time we come in you better have one hell of an apology or I’m calling the owner. We go way back. I saved his life once. Who's side do you think he’ll take?” He looked over to you and handed you your coffee, “Here, take this and dont forget your muffin. We’re leaving.” 

You felt you face heat up as you left the cafe, “Bakugo you didn't have to do that. I dont even know her. She can think what she wants. It doesn't bother me. No matter what she thinks it’s probably still better than the truth. There’s no way for her to know who I am or what I’ve been through.”

He grunted, “Thats the thing. She doesn't know what you’ve been through but it  shouldn't matter! You treat people with respect, especially paying customers in your place of business. She’s lucky I didn't get her ass fired.”

You put your hand on his shoulder, “Thank you for defending me. I appreciate it, I truly do. But just know it isn't necessary.” 

He softened a bit, “I told you. As long as you’re with me you’re safe. And that includes deranged baristas.” He didnt know why he was already so attached to you. He knows he met you last night but thats not really true is it? He's seen you in his dreams for months. In a way it feels like he’s known you much longer. He gestured towards your coffee, “So how do you like it?” 

You brought the to-go cup up to your lips and slowly took your first sip. You closed your eyes and hummed in response to the warm delicious beverage. “This... is... wow. This is my new favorite thing.”

Bakugo pretended to be hurt, “Oh wow I thought you said my cooking was the best.” 

You giggled, “I can like two things Bakugo. Coffee is my favorite drink. Your noodles are my favorite food.” 

“Alright I think I can deal with that. Let’s go get you some clothes.” He stopped you before you could take a step and his hands found your waist. Your heart started to race, “Dont freak out I’m just trying to help you out a little.” His fingers pinched your waistband and rolled it a few times. Making the pants you were wearing a bit shorter as well as tighter. “That should be good enough to get you to the store without any more graceful accidents.”

And it was. You arrived at a clothing store just as you finished your coffee. He held the door open for you and you stepped into what was either heaven or hell. You weren't sure yet. There were clothes everywhere! Hanging on the wall. Folded on tables. There was hardly room to move around the store. “Oh wow.” 

“Yeah I know... It’s a lot. But I figured you’re stating from scratch and this place has everything. Or so I’ve been told.” He pointed to a rack off to the back of the store that had an abundance of jeans, “Lets start there and get you out of those tripping hazards.” 

You stepped out of the fitting room to show Bakugo the pair you picked, “What do you think? I think they fit pretty well.” 

His eyes were immediately glued to your ass. He felt like such a creep for even looking but once he did it was hard for him to look away. “Yeah they look great. Why dont we get a few pairs.” 

You looked at the price tag, “I dont know they're kind of expensive...”

He just waved you off, “Dont even worry about it.”

Bakugo sat patiently while you tried on clothes. Which was saying a lot for him. Sure he’s gotten better since high school but he still wouldn't consider himself a patient person by any stretch of the imagination. Yet here he was. You came out in a Ground Zero onesie and he rolled his eyes, “Real cute. Now put it back,”

You shook your head, “No I like it. And its on sale. Please! It so cozy! The inside is so soft! It’s like its hugging me.”

He grunted. Was he really jealous of an article of clothing? His own merch no less? “Whatever. If you want it that bad lets get it.” He stood up from his spot and cracked his back from sitting down for so long. “You about ready to go?” 

You nodded as you started to pile all of your clothes into a basket by his feet. You had ended up with several pairs of jeans, leggings, and sweatpants. Tons of shirts, a jacket, three pairs of shoes, and a couple dresses. “Yeah I just need to get underwear.” 

He blushed. God damnit Bakugo get your shit together. He had seen plenty of naked girls before. He cleaned his throat, “I think that’s over there. I’ll go ahead and start getting all this stuff rung up at the counter.” 

You skipped away to the direction of the underwater department while he went to the front to start the check out process. The women who started ringing in all your items gave him a sweet smile, “You’re such a good boyfriend. I saw you over there with her while she tried clothes on. My fiancé would have been complaining in the first ten minutes.” 

He flinched, “I’m not her... she's... were not together. She's my roommate.” 

The women quirked an eyebrow, “Oh? And do you make it a habit of buying all of your roommates hundreds of dollars worth of clothes?” 

Bakugo growled, “Just ring this shit up would ya?”

He was messing with all the kick knack stuff by the register, purposively ignoring the growing total. His eye caught a something that he knew he had to get. It was a necklace that had a rose cold coffee cup. The smoke swirled up into a heart and as cheesy as it was he just had to buy it for you. He tossed in onto the pile of clothes, “This too...”

She eyes it carefully, “Are you sure you two aren't-”

“Hey I picked some stuff out. I tried to stay pretty practical. Just got a bundle pack of underwear one nice bra and two sports bras. The lady over there helped me pick them out. She kept trying to get my to buy some really uncomfortable looking pair, insisting you would like it but they looked itchy.” You almost choked when you saw the total. “Oh my gosh Bakugo! We need to put some of it back! That’s way too much!”

He shook his head and put a hand on your shoulder, “Nope. You need it. You cant keep wearing my clothes. As cute as it is, you need your own.” 

You picked up the necklace that was now sitting on top. “Oh I love this... but I dont remember picking it out...”

“That’s because I did. I thought you’d like i-”

You had thrown your arms around his neck, “You are honestly the nicest person in the world. I’m so glad I found you... I dont know what would have happened to me if I hadn’t.”

He made eye contact with the clerk over you shoulder and she was giving him a shit eating grin as if to say roommate huh? “I’m happy you like it.” 

[punkscowardschampions]

Ronnie & Joe

Ronnie: [a phone number]

Ronnie: found you your own special plug

Joe: Can’t wait to get gang-raped by whoever this is

Joe: or maybe it’s a phishing scam, what route have you gone down 🤔

Ronnie: route of she can be your number 8 cos youre such a bike

Joe: it’s that kind of hook-up

Ronnie: pay for the gear if you cant get it up soft lad she looks fuck all like your ma

Ronnie: couldnt track down no more of her bastards for you soz

Joe: taking your role that seriously?

Joe: alright

Ronnie: getting out of it

Ronnie: she can babysit you

Joe: she probably lost custody of her own so

Joe: nice of you on all fronts

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: what, your dealer don’t like me or something

Ronnie: how the fuck would i know like

Ronnie: and how would he you legged it out of there soon as he showed

Joe: no shit I did

Ronnie: ordeals over now baby go cry to your new mammy about it

Joe: unlikely

Joe: but it ain’t my ordeal so

Ronnie: they ll swab & treat him he ll be sound

Joe: give a shit about him

Ronnie: if youve got something to say

Joe: I just said it

Joe: I don’t care about him

Ronnie: you dont care about me fuck off with your heroics

Joe: you didn’t want swooping up and saving, don’t mean I don’t give a fuck

Ronnie: your student loan aint gonna cover both our habits youd have me dopesick cause youre fucking jealous that means you dont

Joe: you’re jealous

Joe: and I said, didn’t stop you, didn’t say you had to

Joe: what’s fun about something oozing and itching in your pants, that’s all

Ronnie: of what

Joe: of every boring ex I have or will ever have

Ronnie: you wish

Ronnie: get em in a room together and they aint even jealous of each other

Joe: I know

Joe: x2

Ronnie: you dont know shit mckenna

Joe: so today I’m green

Joe: not the know-it-all smug college kid

Joe: nice to know how to play it

Ronnie: smug is right whenever i aint gonna suck your dick cause you can read music

Joe: that’s all that’s stopping you?

Ronnie: nah remember its the death wish attention whoring & mommy issues

Ronnie: cant both be functioning junkies youd have fuck all else to get a boner about

Joe: how long have you been doing heroin

Ronnie: youve got loads of catching up to do

Joe: yeah, so I don’t know why you’re acting like I’m being high and mighty

Joe: it’s literally been days

Ronnie: cause you are

Joe: no I’m not, just ‘cos I’d rather not suck dick when I have the funds

Joe: would you do it if you had the cash, that’s just stupid

Ronnie: youve been comparing me to any & every cunt since we met

Joe: like you don’t shit on me any and every chance you get

Joe: you were acting like them, the whole none of my shit is real because yours is SO real, that’s her whole bit

Ronnie: you cant stop fucking doing it even now fucks sake

Ronnie: i shit on you for you its not like i have any cunt to compare you to

Joe: alright, if you’re that sensitive about it

Joe: I’ll really stop

Joe: there 🤐

Ronnie: fuck you

Joe: nah, that was a dick move, alright

Joe: let me make it up to you

Ronnie: youre crying shes a patronising cunt guess what youre right there too

Joe: alright, I deserve that

Ronnie: drop dead

Ronnie: yeah its been days days of me giving you whatever the fuck you ask for

Joe: I know

Joe: so what do you want, seriously

Joe: I’ll do it, make it happen, whatever

Ronnie: like fuck can you make anything happen

Ronnie: youre like every other doss cunt i know theres your comparison

Joe: Probably am

Joe: but you’re the only person I’ve met who feels close to whatever the fuck I am

Joe: there’s the truth

Ronnie: whichever of your exes that worked on is more west than either of us

Joe: Oh I can easily be that dickhead and tell you how crazy they all were

Ronnie: go ed

Joe: the second to last one was the worst

Joe: full-on stalked and harassed the last one like, for no reason

Joe: she also messed with all my shit in a way she thought would send me into an OCD spiral because she didn’t get it

Joe: and when she started hooking up with some other kid she’d send me pics like I’d be 💔

Joe: that’s just after, that was all kind of amusing in a boring way, she was less amusing to be with but more mental

Ronnie: shouldve had some tips off her for the stalking bullshit its probably not too late to send her a dm

Ronnie: ones ive got from this is i dont have to bother learning the alphabet cos id be better off fucking with your record collection by smashing it up & child porn does fuck all for you

Joe: that is my thing, turning up uninvited to fuck everything up

Joe: she might go for it

Joe: exactly, both good to know, yeah 😏

Joe: all pretty basic and vanilla but still, annoying as shit

Ronnie: unless you can get me to do it for you yeah

Ronnie: dinners at what like 7

Joe: you’re gonna ruin my happy uni home?

Joe: oh no

Joe: be there be 7, eating at 8, apparently

Joe: time to ‘mingle’ as she put it which sounds suspicious af

Ronnie: fucking hell

Ronnie: thank christ i already hate you

Joe: saves times, energy less so

Joe: your mate is up for it, unless he’s a convincing liar, which I could see

Ronnie: what energy do you want name it theres gear thatll give us it

Ronnie: he is but i cant see the con shes got fuck all any cunt wants other than pasta shapes & mariahs likely on a diet

Joe: 🤤 and not over her appetizers, like

Joe: there’ll only be the 6 of us so we’ll need entertainment

Ronnie: lad flatmates bringing a bitch

Ronnie: shes gonna need something to get her through it or something she can use to end it

Joe: yeah he has a missus

Joe: even though him and Sophie belong together as the most average whitebread couple ever

Ronnie: make it happen then

Joe: where’s my bow and arrow

Joe: their 💘 ain’t my problem

Ronnie: you said you could do whatever and we needed entertainment

Ronnie: put all that money where your mouth is

Joe: you’re well sweet

Joe: you want her to be living her best life

Joe: dunno if I can hack being his shoulder to cry on in the interim

Ronnie: your teeth wont have time to rot before you choke on em talking to me like that

Joe: go on then

Ronnie: you owe me i dont owe you

Joe: I thought you’d ask for something better

Joe: but your loss

Ronnie: yours youre thinking about it

Joe: I get it, you want it to be hell living here

Ronnie: i dont wanna have to ask

Joe: for what

Ronnie: anything

Joe: why not

Ronnie: you think you can read my mind or some shit

Joe: I’d like to

Joe: and I think you get me, and yeah, I think I get you more than the bullshit mommy issues attention whore comment that was to get a reaction

Joe: I don’t think we’re twin flames just because we share some DNA, I’m not that kind of delusional, believe it or not

Ronnie: cause weve shared a needle though yeah

Joe: I get it, another kid with a habit, you’ve met hundreds

Joe: it is different though

Joe: tell me it isn’t

Ronnie: different cos its a habit you didnt have days ago

Joe: it’s not your fault

Joe: for good or bad

Joe: you didn’t spike me without asking

Ronnie: i didnt say that

Ronnie: i said thats why its different

Joe: yeah

Ronnie: nobody did any of this shit for me i dont know why im doing it for you

Joe: do you want to, or do you think you need to

Ronnie: what the fuck does it matter

Joe: you either fuck with me, you like fucking with me or you think you’ve got to protect me or some bollocks

Ronnie: protect you from the needle i stuck in your arm yeah that makes loads of sense

Joe: from getting a bad dose, being beat up by one of your dealers

Ronnie: i just wanted a front row seat

Ronnie: im not gonna get one when your family finds out

Joe: that’s fine by me

Joe: you reckon they’ll fly me home for an intervention then?

Joe: shouldn’t be surprising how oblivious they are

Ronnie: i dont care what they do to try & fix it youll be at rock bottom by then

Joe: they won’t try, they don’t

Joe: just because I weren’t shooting up doesn’t mean I haven’t been doing plenty other fucked shit for ages without it ever being a conversation

Joe: one of the kids that they took in, is a walking skeleton

Joe: can’t get her to eat, some reason don’t do anything but try to reason with her like she’s reasonable, never mind the rest

Ronnie: no shit they dont i was proof of it before you or her

Ronnie: in the same town with the same name she fucking gave me and still out of sight out of mind

Joe: precisely

Joe: so if you’re hoping fucking me up will get her to come about then you shouldn’t bother, honestly

Joe: save yourself that disappointment

Ronnie: it aint about her paying attention

Joe: good

Ronnie: you wanna know me i only want you to know what it feels like

Joe: then let’s do it

Ronnie: nah i was rem to reckon it was worth shit

Ronnie: it aint

Ronnie: you aint

Ronnie: youre never gonna have your head wrecked how mine is and i cant be arsed to put the time in fucking you up in the selfish special way i need when you keep pure loving it like

Joe: is that not indicative of how I’m already quite fucked enough

Joe: just because it’s not abandonment based

Joe: what normal cunt would love any of this, even contact you again after the first

Ronnie: fuck no

Ronnie: youre living your best life and it makes me wanna hang myself

Joe: Christ, you’re up yourself, aren’t you

Ronnie: &

Joe: you want me to roll my sleeves up again and show you the recent damage?

Ronnie: yeah

Joe: [pics]

Ronnie: [obvs gotta send him some back]

Joe: [a straight up new one like just did it]

Ronnie: [ofc she has to also like this is a competition]

Joe: [hope you started small so you have somewhere to go ‘cos the vibe]

Ronnie: [knowing y’all you didn’t but it won’t stop you and I will be forever on edge]

Joe: [so grim, don’t pass out]

Ronnie: [or end up needing stitches]

Joe: [probably do them yourselves, ick]

Joe: do you fucking get it yet

Ronnie: why do you care

Joe: why do you think

Ronnie: i keep telling you i dont

Joe: braindead sounds ideal

Ronnie: horse girl not about to suffocate you

Joe: she would if I let her, like

Joe: 🍈🍈

Ronnie: wait til theres a chance ill choke on my vomit next time christ

Joe: so lay back and I’ll tell you some more

Ronnie: ok go

Joe: [go on about Sophie in a way I shall not even bother but let us assume it is crude and rude af]

Ronnie: [we’re not into poor Soph but they clearly are]

Joe: [just fuck and get it out the way lads, so rude to everyone else rn]

Ronnie: [honestly, but hopefully at this dinner party because Jamie jealousy will be off the charts]

Joe: [Charlie gon have to keep quiet ‘til you home lmao]

Joe: Any luck?

Ronnie: got no pasta shapes in my system have i

Ronnie: but why the fuck are you not lurking to save me

Joe: you want me to swallow the bile for you then, okay

Joe: the last one looked deep

Ronnie: deep enough if you wanna pussy out and spit instead

Joe: I don’t

Joe: where are you

Ronnie: dorothys

Joe: he in?

Joe: if I have to show him it’s brotherly concern you’ll only die quicker

Ronnie: nosey cunt wouldve stopped me

Joe: Yeah

Joe: I can say sorry if you want or I can just come patch you up and not lie first

Ronnie: i dont need your help

Joe: I know

Joe: purely wanna save you for my own complex and to be loving life even harder

Ronnie: wank off about the sos from the other day thats it i cant top you carrying me out til the bleeding stops

Joe: I’m coming over

Joe: you’ve got time to lock the door if you really don’t want me to come in

Joe: can get my own shattered glass without breaking his windows

Ronnie: he must like you to have given you his address

Ronnie: but not enough to overshare the door dont lock cos i broke it 💔

Joe: or am I better stalker than you give credit

Joe: thanks for the tip, baby

Ronnie: youd have been waiting for me to get here not the other way round

Joe: You do want me to read your mind

Joe: maybe a lobotomy will help

Ronnie: hot

Ronnie: reading your mind you want me to pass out before you fuck me but its not that deep

Joe: the wound or the vIbEzzZ

Ronnie: this your coming out cos you sound like charlie

Joe: just trying to turn you off, don’t want blood to gush out

Ronnie: liar youd be made up to see that

Joe: not hiding in the bushes yet

Joe: slow down

Ronnie: youre used to being the big brother i get it

Joe: Something like that

Ronnie: i know how to ride a bike without stabilisers or whatever the fuck

Joe: and tie your shoes

Joe: it’s alright, we’ve established I’m not a paedo

Joe: what can’t you do then

Ronnie: err what a nonce would say

Ronnie: read music we also fucking established

Joe: you teach me how to shoot myself up, I’ll teach you how to

Ronnie: not a fair swap i dont need to learn how

Joe: You don’t wanna be a babysitter either, so you’ve said

Ronnie: you dont like me any more or what

Joe: Of course I do

Joe: You got me my own dealer first

Ronnie: you asked me to 1st

Joe: How did I?

Ronnie: what else is ? for a plug without giving a fuck if ive rattled myself into a ditch

Joe: If I talked to you as much as I felt like

Joe: You’d tell me to fuck off more than you already do

Joe: I’ve got no clue where the line is, how much you want me to care

Ronnie: what line

Ronnie: i dont want you to care

Joe: Tough shit

Joe: I didn’t ask you to get me a dealer

Ronnie: you fucking did

Joe: I just didn’t wanna see you suck dick on my behalf, alright, that’s all

Joe: what you do for yourself is your business

Ronnie: calm down nothing i do is for you

Joe: 👌

Ronnie: dont call her then

Joe: you on commission?

Ronnie: 🖕

Joe: If I do, you’ll still have to see me

Ronnie: youll see me bleed out on the kitchen floor 1st

Joe: You’re a pro, I know you’re being overly-dramatic

Ronnie: at opening as many veins as itll take to not have to see you again yeah

Joe: to make me hurry*

Joe: I’m on the tube

Joe: you have to live in the middle of nowhere

Ronnie: no fixed address i told you

Joe: ❗️

Joe: if there’s a break-up or a thruple, you can have the extra room

Joe: makes sense now

Ronnie: it dont make sense you reckon we can afford any extras however far out

Joe: like you said, she’ll get homesick and chuck it in even if Marc won’t dump his girlfriend

Ronnie: if she does youll be homeless too like unless his missus is gonna cover the costs of the en suite for you

Joe: you can have my room, it’s the smallest

Joe: they can have the en-suite palace and I’ll take theirs, which is not next to the others 👌

Ronnie: not that youve thought loads about it

Joe: if you heard her disney playlist everyday, you’d think about it as well

Ronnie: id think about killing her or myself not a cosy little bed swap

Ronnie: shed never hack living with me nor would you

Joe: well that thought is never far from the front of my mind

Joe: if you need the bed, you know it’s yours

Ronnie: get it through your head i need fuck all from you

Joe: yeah, yeah

Ronnie: theres this way of living when youre not inside your ma in every possible sense course you aint heard about it

Joe: you need to prove you’re self-sufficient ‘cos no one’s ever given a shit about you but Charlie and the other one

Joe: I’m aware you’ve made it to your old age without me, you’re alright

Ronnie: i need to be it the only proofs im not dead yet baby

Ronnie: you need me to be old cos im not in a fucking coma & you cant get it up else

Joe: I’d rather be in the coma myself but you can be too

Joe: not calling dibs

Ronnie: oldest gets 1st dibs

Joe: *until the youngest cries about it so much you get told to give in to shut ‘em up

Ronnie: try me

Joe: you know you can’t hack my crying

Joe: does your head in SO much

Ronnie: save it for when you need lube or horse girl is gonna be coming after you with the leftover glue so you can never fucking leave her

Joe: come at you with the needle and sew us together, babe

Joe: unlucky

Ronnie: more than unlucky if i cant bust a stitch open to be the dead girl you want

Joe: you’re the dead girl I want already come on

Ronnie: til i teach you how to 💉 yourself

Joe: nah

Ronnie: 💘

Joe: looking well deformed these days, my one

Ronnie: could cut it out know youd be made up for the matching needlework

Joe: you play mad professor I’ll play corpse

Ronnie: long as i dont have to play nice

Joe: know what you take me for, actually, but no

Joe: obviously not

Ronnie: cant take you anywhere even if i did wanna

Joe: god imagine the dent in your street cred, sis

Ronnie: if i could cry i obviously would

Joe: repression or fucked tear ducts from all the 😭 you been doing

Ronnie: what im that baby faced youre taking me for a newborn now

Joe: nah, mr i don’t fuck kids here, remember

Joe: plus kids are always calling 999 by mistake and they’d get there before me

Joe: maybe, depends how many people have stabbed other people today

Ronnie: id have got the numbers up but ive been busy like

Joe: gotta make time for you, babes

Joe: it’s called self-care

Ronnie: ask me what with

Ronnie: shittest stalker ever you are

Joe: go on

Joe: school us

Ronnie: cant cry cos when i was linking you with a plug you dont want i was getting myself linked with your meds

Ronnie: best guess as a better stalker than you & less basic white girl than your crazy ex

Joe: 💡 fairplay

Joe: won’t tell you any other side-affects, see if you can guess ‘em right

Ronnie: i wasnt gonna take em but you want me to get you so bad

Joe: yeah misunderstood white boy is selling less these days

Joe: help a brother out

Ronnie: fuck all has happened so i probably cant

Joe: 💔 oh well

Joe: they’re nothing exciting, even though I managed to get the highest dosage they’ll do

Ronnie: maybe mines off for not giving you the benefit of the doubt when i could continue reckoning youre such a pussy

Joe: you’ll forget by tomorrow, no problem

Ronnie: neither brother is gonna let me if they walk in on me microdosing theyll reckon its a getting well party and get the deccies out

Joe: only so many times you can just kidding that ‘fore it gets old

Joe: we’ll go out, when I get there

Ronnie: where you kidnapping me to baby

Joe: I know enough to know it’s all wrong turns and blindfolds, not giving you a map

Ronnie: if its a&e no cunts finding your body even with a map

Joe: piss off

Ronnie: give us a clue

Joe: I’ll mark it with an X if you do me

Ronnie: if you ever fucking get here

Joe: if we were sewn together this wouldn’t be a problem

Ronnie: wanting to look like twins so nobodyll give a shit that you wanna fuck me would be something youd think about on the tube mckenna

Joe: they run in my old man’s DNA so have to look for those bastards instead

Joe: all I know about hers is addiction

Ronnie: course he does fuck alls your own idea

Ronnie: if hes got a sister even a meff nancy drew like youll be able to find bastards they had together

Joe: loads, Catholic, remember

Joe: twins kid is black though so process of elimination

Ronnie: cute how that runs in your family too like

Joe: guess so

Joe: not like it’s that crazy a concept

Ronnie: not like youve ever met an irish catholic who werent a saint yeah

Joe: it’s a fucked place to live

Joe: really third world in that respect

Ronnie: your real da is who you wanna look for if hes got no bastards going about its cos he cant knock anyone up

Joe: that your all men are pigs stance

Joe: alright courtney calm down

Joe: I’m out now anyway, don’t need a real mum or dad to come rescue us from the priests and that

Ronnie: nah its a fact unless his twin kept going up the backstreet or he was only sticking it in her other 2 holes

Joe: they didn’t really grow up together

Joe: he left when he was 15

Joe: maybe she was a late bloomer, happy days

Ronnie: 💔 your ma wasn’t then i wouldnt be here

Joe: no dig about how you’re dying now anyway ‘cos I’m taking so long?

Joe: you must be fading fast and not just being a dramatic bitch

Joe: good thing I’m in [wherever we ended up locating y’all] now

Ronnie: shut up i said its not that deep

Ronnie: youre the dramatic bitch legging it here for a fucking scratch

Joe: you wanted me to

Ronnie: you want to i dont give a shit

Joe: right, that’s what I meant

Ronnie: you can stop with the gay shit i told you hes not here

Joe: gays don’t own sarcasm

Ronnie: they own getting attached to cunts fast who dont care

Joe: awh, you being replaced rn?

Ronnie: horse girl wishes

Joe: Can’t catch a break or a man that one

Ronnie: after a pity fuck with you who knows what shed catch

Joe: you wanna infect her by-proxy, you’re so blatant

Ronnie: i shouldve got you to bring her my bloods everywhere

Joe: adding her puke to the mix would make it interesting, sure

Joe: bet she knows first aid

Ronnie: if youre too pussy to break my ribs yourself get back on the tube

Joe: threaten me with a good time

Ronnie: i just did

Joe: without meaning it, yeah

Ronnie: try and hurt me i mean it

Joe: [why do y’all always set the tension so high lads lmao, we know but]

Ronnie: [me and my boo here like calm down you can’t hook up yet but they are both like !!!!]

Joe: [shouldn’t have let you get on that train sir but you would so]

Ronnie: [I shouldn’t let her open her mouth ever but here we are]

Joe: [forreal lmao]

Ronnie: [gotta draw an x on him in her blood when he shows up before we can do a more permanent one however we are either as a scar or tattoo so soz for increasing the tension even more lol]

Joe: [just got to stare at her for ages and then shove her away very dramatically ‘cos you can’t, head through to whichever room she was bleeding in to assess/gawp at]

Ronnie: [she’s gotta lol like well if that’s the best you can do at trying to hurt me I’m not worried]

Joe: [‘whaddya use?’ and just going through this flat as if you’ve been here before/were invited by anyone but Ronnie vaguely because manners can’t matter when we’ve gone this far already]

Ronnie: ['what, you didn't

touch yourself enough on the tube?' but we are obvs showing him whatever we did use because it's just another way to flirt and we can use it to make that x happen so]

Joe: [shakes head ‘spill too much and they emergency stop’ and a look like do I look like I wanna be on a psychward but in a 😏 don’t answer that way, doing our own tallies with it, of course]

Ronnie: ['we're walking then' like where are you taking me don't get comfy bitch]

Joe: [little disbelieving lol like excuse me princess ‘your carriage was unavailable’

Ronnie: ['no shit the horse is dead busy']

Joe: [‘I ain’t taking you to a stable’]

Ronnie: ['that's where we ain't going, now tell me where the fuck we are' because we're like an excited kid about this]

Joe: [it’s cute and we clearly think so even if we’re distracting ourselves with this self-harm so we don’t go too far, unrelated but I haven’t thought where yous are going lmao but I’m vibing something London but something she wouldn’t have done, something music related, also if it has like, kid vibes, bonus, I’ll have to look so just keeping tight-lipped to be annoying and surveying the bloody carnage he’s now added to ‘you want to clean up?’]

Ronnie: [it'd be cute if there was something like thinktank but for music instead of science but idk if that exists anyways in answer to that question she's just gonna remove her top or whatever like yeah it do have blood on even though we know that's not what he means because we're still in a flirty mood despite how annoying his non reply is]

Joe: [that’s what I’m vibing but likewise have no idea, I’m sure there is shit though and you could find it Joseph, anyway, truly the this is fine meme about that ‘cos you can’t turn away 😳 but also boy don’t, moving like you’re gonna come close to her though]

Ronnie: [soz Charlie cos she shamelessly threw her top on the floor and isn't gonna clean up any of this blood even on herself like I literally should say she goes to the sink and then to get clean clothes but instead we all know she's just gonna take Joe's jacket or whatever and put that on, thank god he's all about the layers]

Joe: [god bless the grunge

aesthetic, ‘do you do it in front of him?’ and touching the cuts that are still showing ‘cos you know there’s some still, and it is like when and where do you do this when you do not have a room lmao]

Ronnie: ['yeah' leaving it up to him whether he wants to think it's in an attention whore way cos we're still annoyed at that call out lol but realistically it's just because of how long they've known each other and how they be living, she's not actively trying to upset Charlie that much most of the time]

Joe: [‘does he do it?’ ‘cos we can’t imagine it from the little we know but also can’t imagine him just chilling if he isn’t as fucked as them]

Ronnie: [the facial expression equivalent of his amused lol earlier because no]

Joe: [dropping it even though you find this odd like don’t worry boy, the tea is he is getting over it and wanting her to stop, pulling the jacket sleeve to take her out the door like come on]

Ronnie: ['he knows what'll happen if he tries to stop me' cos you can't tell me that when they were younger he didn't do exactly that and she went ballistic but more importantly HOW DARE YOU BOO because that is 1000% a Fraze move and I'm dead]

Joe: [yes I thought it was legit for a parallel, enjoy the long trip back to central guys]

Ronnie: [idk how we are gonna stop you hooking up to fill the time other than the other people in close proximity lol]

Joe: [maybe a uni/work obligation can come in and he has to go like legit ‘cos that’d kill this off]

Ronnie: [personally devastated that means an iou for this cute date but I love how fuming she would be at never finding out where they were going]

Ronnie: [not to mention the not at all casual and public domestic they’d have would be such a fat mood and show she cares when she’s literally like umm what the fuck do you mean you’re leaving]

Joe: [love how blatant we both are individually]

Ronnie: [hard same]

Joe: They sprung that rehearsal on us last minute

Joe: I already said, I’d give you the funds and you could go do whatever

Ronnie: and i told you to go fuck yourself

Ronnie: or your cello

Joe: I wouldn’t have wasted my time let alone yours if I knew that was gonna happen

Joe: how would you go about fucking a cello, exactly

Ronnie: waste more of your own time figuring it out its your raging hard on for it

Joe: I can’t not go

Joe: they make you sign a bloodoath when you get in basically

Joe: no excuses

Ronnie: youd have found an excuse fast enough if id stuck a needle in your arm

Joe: no, I wouldn’t, ‘cos it wasn’t an option

Joe: there was already enough damage to hide

Ronnie: i dont give a shit what options youve got

Joe: right, tell it to the crowd that amassed, they might believe you a tiny bit more than I do

Joe: I’ll make it up to you, okay

Ronnie: thats what soft cunts wanna hear when you cant hide no more & since you reckon you wont be getting forced into treatment you get to keep your gob shut for all that being sorry bullshit

Joe: make it into something it ain’t ‘cos you can’t hack hearing it

Ronnie: i dont wanna hear from you end of

Joe: alright

Joe: see you around then

Ronnie: 🖕

[letstalksymphogear]

Symphogear, EP.7 (Cont.)

“i have not now, nor ever, liked this creepy ass church elevator.”

“kanade please get out of my head, just because im hungry doesnt mean you have to tell me every time i am”

Hibiki finishes getting a full body X-ray. She’s fine.

“that anime protagonist immunity is really kicking in well!”

“by the way, your wife is here! and she’s looking mighty miffed., as opposed to me, mighty milfed.”

“you dont strike me as a mother figure but ill play along for now”

“i just hope miku’s okay...”

“oh, she’ll be fine! see, i’ve seen these kinds of plots before. big secret revealed, another lover is shown, the victim watches as they’re thoroughly cheated on, and they get to lik-”

“please stop breathing”

Genjuro’s wasting away again in Margaritaville. Looking for some daughter to adopt. SOME PEOPLE SAY THAT THERE’S A, WOOOOMAAAAAN TO BLAAAAAAAAAAME, BUT HE KNOWS

XYLOPHONE RIFF

THAT’S IT’S ALL HIS FAULT

XYLOPHONE RIFF

“i hate it when he gets like this. jimmy buffets not a good look for him.”

“for once you and i agree. seeing the commander sulk like this like a middle aged perma-tourist is genuinely miserable”

“hey homies! im back and i brought some bitches! oh, jesus, why does this place smell like mistakes in miami?”

“its me. im sorry. every time i feel like i failed as a dad, my anti-dad energies manifest. imagine every midlife crisis rolled up into a single ball, smacked into the face for eternity. thats the depth of my pain for failing this girl.”

In a moment of positivity, the friendship between Tsubasa and Hibiki is cemented.

> Tsubasa has joined the party.

“FRIENDSHIP!”

“fweindship.”

“uuuuhhhhh... dadship? yeah thats close enough.”

“WE’RE ALL GOOD FRIENDS!”

“ya tiddies are ringing again, better go get it”

Ryoko also points out that Hibiki’s relic is fusing with herself at an alarming rate. This is important to keep in mind.

Meanwhile, at night.

Miku is posing in the motherly “you done fucked up, where have you been young lady” position. A cold scolding is coming.

“.........................hey miku......”

“you can come in. are you worried im gonna bite? you suplexed a car. that shouldn’t be an issue anymore.”

“miku, i.... i wanted to tell you.... but.... the plot wouldn’t let me, miku....”

“should’ve told the plot to fuck off anyway. now you’re gonna live with that. you’re sleeping... on the bottom bunk.”

“b.... b..... b...... b.... b...... bottom bunk...?”

They slept separately that night. God, this is so stupid. All of this is so goddamned stupid. “I’m so mad at you even though you saved my life.” This is just so. AUGH. THIS IS DUMB. KANEKO WRITE BETTER ANGST THAT MAKES SENSE THAT ISN’T THIS.

Meanwhile, far away from this garbage...

Chris, having been evicted from Fine’s McMansion, wanders the streets of mumblemumble aimlessly. Don’t be fooled by her new fancy dress. Basically, she’s a combat-competent hobo.

“no food. no home. no victories. this sucks. whyd you do it, fine? we coulda been great together. but no. ya fired me. now i look like im prancing the red light district with a highly advanced superweapon around my neck.”

“no... hibiki’s to blame. ever since that genderbent little mac showed up to fight me, it’s been all downhill. fine thought me a laughstock because i couldnt take out her oversized boxing gloves, and now she beat me while i had nehushtan. god... i wish i never met that damn hamster faced chubby cheeked nerd.”

“wait, whats that crying”

Chris spies two kids talking to each other, one of them crying. Chris immediately makes an assumption, believing the big bro is bullying his sis.

“hey! stop nicking her lunch money, twerp”

Chris currently is a firm believer of corporeal punishment.

But the sister deflects the blow. Chris can’t even defeat children right now. Truly, this is a record low for her. You know you blew it when even kids are schooling you on basic morality. She then tells the little girl to stop crying, ironically mirroring her brother.

The infamous double T-Pose maneuver. Chris, you might as well get a shovel and start digging your own grave.

“i keep doing bad things badly, and now im doing good things badly... when fine said i was bad... did she just mean im not talented?”

Chris, finally, does a good thing and helps these kids find their parents.

“yeah. hibiki saved a kid when she got her gear. guess what? bam! im saving two! that’s fifty percent more kid per kid saved. take that, weirdo.”

The kids call her out on Chris singing unconsciously, and Chris gets flustered over it. Dawwwwww.

Chris manages to get them to safety to their Dad...

...while brutally lying about it, making Chris look like a predator. There’s a very crushing irony at play here, given who Chris used to serve.

“ugggggggggggggggghhhhhh hes not even gonna payyyyy meeeeeee why the fuck did i dooooo thiiiiiiissssss”

“hey, you know. you kids have a really nice relationship with one another. care to give me tips on how to be an empathetic human being capable of making friends?”

“maybe we’re born with it”

“maybe its maybeline”

“maybeline...”

Meanwhile...

A cold wind blows through Lydian Apartment 69-L. (I don’t actually know if that’s their room number, I just made it up.)

“jesus take the wheel, because i’m jumping out the passenger seat to save this current wreck of a relationship”

“miku please i saved your life, doesnt that count for anything”

“you already killed me the moment you lied. also im taking the bottom bunk so i dont have to see your face coming down the ladder.”

“miku you cant hide in this depression den forever. i know i hurt you and im sorry for it, but please understand i literally couldnt do it. you saw there were punches and violence and stuff... i didnt want you tied to that...”

“what was that? i cant hear your apologies over my incredibly loud snoring. SNOOOOOOORE. SNOOOOOOOORE. SNOOO- fuck, i just swallowed my spit, fuck”

“i hope this cocoon of displeasure you’ve made for yourself lets you erupt into a butterfly of acceptance so i can fly with you again.”

“......thats not fair. you cant say those beautiful metaphors and get away with it. let me be mad... sniff... let me be mad...”

Sadness wafts in the den of lies Hibiki has been forced into.

No music plays. There is only heartbreak, and woe.

In the midst of this pain...

Ryoko loredumps about how the Symphogears work and are immune to the noise on her blog, ‘hornyonmainforscience.org’, her hybrid science journal slash kink zone. It’s mostly a recap with some pretty good soft techno beats in it.

“i made a custom brew of red bull, five hour energy drink, coffee, and cream. i call it gamer girl piss.”

“damn. that’s some good piss.”

She muses about how Hibiki has managed to break the limitations of her Symphogear, making her a totally unique specimen. Wait, where have we heard this before...?

Hey... Ryoko... let’s just... cool it a bit with the Hibiki pictures... come on...

Ryoko touches upon the Custodians and the Curse of Babel. We ain’t touching that shit until later, because that’s another shitfuck box of crazy just ready to jump us in a dark alleyway to rob us of our wits.

Back to Lydian:

“miku whats the answer to the first three multiple choice questions”

“B. A. D.”

“oh, thanks. huh, BAD.”

“yeah. you are.”

“mmm. taste likes dissapointment. just like my life.”

“hey table for two haha get it cause there’s two chairs and miku for the love of god, please, forgive me”

“ive surgically removed my eyes and drew eyelashes over them with sharpie so i dont have to see your bird bangs.”

“thats very rude to both me and my hair. also, wig.”

Even Hibiki’s meal is judging her. Mainly for not eating it. Fucking look at this. God, that looks amazing. Fuck, why did I write this while I was hungry.

“miku you cant do this forever. i might die and youll end up crying on my tombstone going ‘oh god, why, oh god’, and really, i cant live with myself if that happens. mainly because id already be dead by then”

The Anime Janai crew show up to break some icebergs with a goddamn sledgehammer. As the self-aware Gods of this realm, they got very tired of this poor display of angst, and have decided to directly intervene.

Nevermind. They came for her kneecaps, and they most certainly got them.

PLEASE. I’M BEGGING YOU. END THIS GARBAGE PLOT THREAD.

“look. imma lay down the facts. yall are gay. yall are in love. yall are angry for the wrong reasons. its nobody’s fault here but the writer. so please kiss and make up. pretty please.”

“kaneko... you fool... we all know what the original sin is. its your hack writing making this stupidity in the first place. let the pencil go, asshole!”

They bring up the fact that Hibiki isn’t doing her work and wonder if she has a job on the side, which isn’t allowed by the school. Miku gets annoyed and bails, with Hibiki running after her. Unfortunately, Miku runs faster...

“oh god miku not the rooftop whatever you’re thinking just dont do it! please!”

“no. i came here to angst, since this is the Maximum Angst Zone.”

“i..... okay! okay, that’s fair! rooftops are the perfect place to look sad while getting proper air ventilation, thats fine”

It really would have been better played if it was played off that she felt hurt not because of the lie, but because she felt like she could have helped her better having known the truth, and it being a self-loathing sort of scenario for not being there better for her and not fully understanding the risk at play.

But no, instead, we get this.

Absolutely obliterated. A heart ripped, shredded, and sent to the Shadow Realm.

The episode ends on that note, but has a post credit scene.

Naked. On an old timey telephone. On a computer. Wearing stockings and long gloves.

The main antagonist of the series, everybody.

She’s talking the best English possible to some random-ass American when suddenly bursting through the scene is none other than:

“I WANT WORKERS COMPENSATION YOU BITCH, BEFORE I UNIONIZE YOUR NAKED ASS”

“AND I WANT A GOOD REFERNECE FOR MY FUTURE EMPLOYER, AND ALSO A SEVERANCE PACKAGE SINCE I’M FUCKING HOMELESS”

“i paint my eyelashes with mascara made from the tar of freshly carbonated corpses manufactured through noise, what on gods green earth compels you to think id give a rats ass about you?”

“so you never cared, huh! you’re just a nasty naked hedonist trying to- trying to- what the fuck are you even trying to do?!”

“i want to live the dream every spicy little fossil like me yearns for.”

“I WANNA FUCK GOD!”

“how- what? what? how do you even- what? are you- do you want to be the pope? is that it? does the pope get to fuck god? are you- is this a larping thing? you’ve really been into larping lately! i don’t like this!”

“youve never read the old testament, have you. ass out, pussy bare, hips up and barefoot. that’s how god’s always liked it.”

“now get lost, punk. you tipped off my hand to genjuro and now you being here is going to ruin everything. if you still feel any semblance of devotion, eat one of your own bullets and call it a day.”

“it’s 2012 bitch, if the mayans dont get you, I WILL”

“what god gives, He takes away, and so do i. i built you from the ground up. your relic, which was good for jack shit on you. the nehushtan, which you failed to do anything with except zap a couple hundred people. stop wars? you’re a walking war, waged by me, for me. and your cartridge has just run out of bullets.”

“uh oh! hand’s acting up again! better bail before i send you back to smacktown where all the bitter little shittalkers like you strut around spending their lives being useless as hell.”

“ah fuck, im not dealing with no manos: the hands of fate bullshit again”

“and guess what else i got on motherfucker”

“i see the union efforts have officially been busted. understandable, have a nice day ma’am”

“LEAVE.”

“I’M GOING, I’M GOING”

[rewrentless]

Taz Balance Quotes

I have no idea how long ive been working on this, between 2 and 7 months but finally ive made a list of memorable quotes /quotes that made me chuckle

-Any you driads down to clown

-That was my grandfathers haunch

-Everyone needs a barry bluejeans!

-You shouldnt had your dog jump up my ass! I dont think my dog could fit in an ass! You havent seen this ass

-Eat me barry

-If you were making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and you dropped some jelly on the counter are you gonna take a knife and just start cutting at it you dumb son of a bitch??

-she thinks my tractors sexy and i think im no longer welcome here

-hello hello welcome to my caev

-abraca fuck you

-hey you calm the fuck down sir theres no yelling at fantasy Costco!

-its like a bag of holding but for ass

-merle i can see 3/4 to 4/5 of your entire butt

-the railsplitter passes through the tree like a baseball bat passing through a ghost

-youve solved my shrek puzzle

-a witch kissed me and cursed me so that anytime anybody yells a secret word i have to attend to their every need and that word is my fucking name jenkins

-infinite bean!!!

-i got a murder wall in my brain!

-time-pon! The time travelling tampon!

-lord steven q fletcher esquire the goldfish the third

-'yeah he really beat me in a test of wits and wagers' and winks at taako over and over just winking

- hey baby i love your tendrils

-i got here a few minutes ago and i can not take my eyes off you i looked at you across the square 60 feet away and i said do not be chopping on this baby

-you and the box both drink poison and you survive but the box has died. With that the box pops open

-does everyone get that i have an elevator fetish at this point?

-griffen we gotta fight some weeds at floor 20!

-my names not jerry its ... jerrieeeeee

-but listen guys now i gotta take a poop, you know like a poop like a real emergent poop

-'your name ... of course ... is... taako. Sike thats just mine say my name!' i cast magic missile

-so youre sayin we eat him

-youre all beautiful butterflake snowflies

-im actually a mongoose meow

-and inside the envelopes there is  200 gold pieces  ‘thanks for these shitty jangly envelopes’

-i hand her a coupon for one free backrub

-magnus this is the nightmare scenario

-hot diggity shit that is a baller cookie

-i made you guys chairs for your new digs and if you lift up the cushion it doubles as an indoor toilet

-davenport read the room!

-mmmmmmmmmmmmmmm davenport

-i start to very subtly and very easily cry

-last time i was in an elevator vines tried to eat my dick

-the late merle highchurch rolled a 5

-’youre a god!’ I definately am

-youre not stupid youre beautiful

-its kinda ridiculous how many pies we got our toes in

-your mother would swaddle you young taako baby taako and just sing to you oh shit sweet flip oh dip sweet flip my little nugget

-god liiiieed to me

-magnus can kiss my kenny chesney tattoo

-you found her?!

-hey thug whats your name im about to tentacle your dick?

-if travis cant move his legs then i shall create his legs!

-im just an elevator climb on in ma belly!

-press ma buttons from inside a me

-if you wanted to lure me in there you shoulda stayed handsome ma fella

-'i tap it with the gluttons fork and i swallow it' 'what the f uck'

-ive got to switch between different accents to trick my prey

-when that day comes little man oh when that day comes i will summon whatever powers i still have at my disposal that you have not sipphoned away from me and i will take all of my canny and all of my cunning and all arcanas still within my reach and i will use it to strike you down little man

-dungeons and dragons and daddies

-fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts fantasy shorts!

-i cast zone of truth!

-junebug

-this chair smells like grandmas

-this scene is memorable to you now but in the moment you werent thinking im going to remember everything about this moment

-inifate bag of boys

-if it had flesh then it would be a bag of skin full of fucking goo

-"how do you not have a six it comes with every board game?" "My daughter..." "eats them for power??"

-because in wonderland... there is no healing (shit eating grin)

-liches get stitches

-son of a lich

-you built the fucking door out of wood shit wood

-bad luck

-ill be having my body back you undead fuck

-sturdy. denim. and blue

-i have updated my list of people i trust and things i believe to no one and nothing

-those are the arms that have held my wife

-i cant fight i cant protect i cant do anything in this body

- i saw seven birds

-the twins, the lover, the protecter, the lonely journal keeper, the peacemaker and the wordless one

-i dont know but i feel like i trust you

-dont let them erase me magnus

-how could you forget lup

-nerd alert!

-greg grimaldis you owe me $15 and i aim to collect

-i have to believe that im gonna get those $15 back from greg fucking grimaldis

-the one thing we do have is the thing that people in love rarely ever have enough of and its time

-I dont know about in love its only been... 21 years

-are you my friend?

-what brings me joy is... life. I think you can find joy anywhere in life i thibk its a concious choice i think you choose joy in life and no matter how bad things are no matter how crummy no matter how dark no matter how many times some guy named john kills your ass you find joy. I’ve found joy, honest to God, getting to know you. I’ve found joy playing chess with you. I have enjoyed - i haven’ t enjoyed you know, getting my ass killed, but i find joy in whatever I do. I don’t always do things right, and I don’t always do things smart, and I don’t always do a character voice, but whatever i do, i find joy in it. Because at the end of the day, that’s all you got. It’s looking back on the joy you had, and the joy you found, and the joy you gave other people 

-soon you will call us ascendent

-kiss my ass you sanctimonious bastard

-huh. I feel sad

-its not perfect but its the best i can do

-our capacity for love increases with each person we cross paths with throughout our lives and with each moment we spend with those people but too often we neglect that part of ourselves in favour of others and by the time we realize just how importnat it is we find ourselves with fewer folks around to practice with but the seven of you have something that nobody else ever had time all the time in the world time enough to grow indescribely close time enough to learn how to care for each other how to allow yourselves to be caref for and in the case of barry and lup time enough to fall deeply and truely in love

-there was romance in every measure and longing in every note

-have we not earned a little wrath?

-i made it

-you are my heart you know that right?

-sometimes there arent right decisions sometimes theres just decisions

-when someone leaves your life those exits are not made equal. Some are beautiful and poetic and satisfying others are abrupt and unfair but most are just unremarkable, unintentional clumsy

-back soon

-who?

-taako kill me

-you fucking took everything from me

-understand this, i have nothing and i don’t give a shit. The world is ending and i don’t care

-phantasmal and resplendent

-youre dating the grim reaper?!

-ill take one taco with extra destiny

-i tell the trees when to shed their leaves and i make every piece of fruit taste the way that it tastes and i taught every blade of grass in the ground where to grow did you really think i had forgotten about you?

-im not your pan but you will always be my merle

-i run over and im already kissing him this is ridiculous

-I want to warm up my face i dont want it to be cold and weird

-whats up ghostrider

-i met god no big deal

-lets save the world and 420 blaze it

-hear that babe? We’re legends

-youre going to have to fight and… youre gonna win!

-you hear it now too dont you? The song is now yours, just as the story has always been yours and with this final piece your understanding of these impossible events is complete. Like i said before, youre ready now, darkness surrounds you but be not afraid, after all youre going to win, we know that much but that is the limit of my knowledge. Youre all caught up now, whatever happens next, well, we’ll just have to find out together

-you boys know the best of the fantasy costo? Free samples

-we won

-youre going to be amazing

-it takes time as all difficult and important things do, for the world to recover from what was done to it that day. But it does recover, and not just that, it thrives. 

-im about to smooch your fucking brains out babe 

-one small criticism, i think you may have forgotten to make it taste good

-‘youre kinda full of dog shit sometimes’ thats what it was i forgot i did include dog shit

-i should mention my boyfriend is death

-if you will all excuse me i have… to shit

-i tried to make you proud

-we see you one last time as magnus rushes in

-even happier days were to come, because that was the world that you made, that was the ending you earned

[themansmansblog]

Draft day (Chapter 1)

Crystal pov

" Come on Crystal it's draft day your going to be drafted for sure I mean you held the nxt title for basically a year you where unstoppable " Bayley said jumping up and down pulling me inside the performance center.

Bayleys been my best friend sense I've been in developmental, we where pretty close. It was funny in my opinion becasue to most people they see her as the happy and joyful one then they see me and I'm well I'm me.. not as joyful but to her I'm doing my best okay? She always tells me that I look tough i guess thats my resting bitch face acting up. But what's hard is getting me to open up, i have trust issuse after all the stuff ive been through in my life.

"Yea I was champ in tell you beat me" I said walking inside with her as she held on to my arm making sure i didn't walk away from her.

" Hey we agreed that wasn't personal, and beside we hugged after. Keep making stuff up ,but your going to be on the biggest stage there is :and I'll be your biggest fan " Bayley said as we walked to where there was a bunch of seats and the whole nxt locker room was out there sitting down as Monday Night Raw started.

"Carmella tell Crystal she'll be drafted tonight. Or im just gonna go crazy. "Bayley said as we sat down next to Carmella.

"Oh my god you are most definitely being drafted that's not even a question girl. How could raw or Smackdown not invest in the longest reigning NXT womens champion. Its stupid if I say if they dont." Carmella said I nodded my head cracking a small smile at Bayley and Carmella. As I took a deep breath and watched the tv screen.

" I'm so nervous" I mumbled

"Don't be, hey Finn!" Bayley said as Finn Bálor aproched us well Bayley's friend. I've never talked to Finn really. Seen him a bunch of times. How could i not have seen him. Have you seen that mans body?!

"Hello ladies. Ready for the draft?" Finn asked looking at Bayley and glancing at me every now and then smiling polity.

"Hell Yea I can't wait to see this one get drafted after me telling her 100 times already today that she well. And your going to be drafted too leaving me friends less.."Bayley said putting her arm around my neck pulling me close to her as she frowns at her disapproval of being along.

"Love you to Bayley ,but by any chance can you let go of me ?" I asked and I hread a light laugh coming from Finn

"Nah Crystal has a better change then I do" Finn said making me blush at the fact he knew my name.

" Don't say that your going to be the first to go for sure! Who wouldnt want the demon on their team" Bayley said letting her grip on me go. She hit Finn on the arm with him moving back a little protending to be hit hard.

"Haha! Ok well I'm going to sit down have a good time ladies!" Finn said looking over at me smiling. I still had a pinkish color to my cheeks .

"Awe your blushing!! Wait.... do you like Finn?!" Bayley whispered to me.

"Well I can't say I don't find him attractive ,but I don't know about like... you know me and guys.. it just seems to never work.. and besides I don't think I can do it... you know what happend to me" I said bring my hand to my mouth bitting my nails like I always do when i dont know what to say.

"Yea... but Finns different he's the digest dork " Bayley said laughing a little

"I don't know Bay..." I said calling her by her nickname I call her

"Ok. I won't push it ,but if he asks you on a date I swear to god I'll beat the living shit out of you if you say no to him. Hes so a sweet man he needs a chance" Bayley said glancing at me with daggers in her eyes.

"If... key word if" I said rolling my eyes with a slight smile on my face.

"Hey-" Bayley began but I got her off right away.

"Shh it's starting " I said making her stop and we watched as Seth Rollins got drafted to Raw then Dean Amdrose to Smackdown and so forth

"with an eye for the future or next pick comes from NXT " Mick Foley began ,and Bayley was jumping out of her seat excided to learn who it was.

"Finn Bálor" Mick said loudly.

" I knew it !" Bayley said smiling and hugging Finn. He was sitting behind us so I turned around to say my thoughts.

"Congratulations Finn " I said to him smiling.

" Thank you " Finn said smiling and taking a raw shirt that was handed him. We quieted down as Smackdown picked there person again

"Me and Mick both said that our goal was to have a strong woman divison so our next pick comes from nxt too ,and she is the two time nxt women's champion and the longest reigning nxt champion, the most badass bitch in locker room Crystal! " Stephanie said and I sat there shocked as Bayley jumped up bouncing up and down so I stood up hugging her back as i cryed happy tears.

The roster was clapping as Bayley let go of me and of course I was blushing as I got handed a Raw T-shirt.

" Can we get a picture of you and Finn Bálor sense you two where both the frist nxt superstars to be drafted to raw?" A camera person asked pulling us to the side for the photos.

"Uh.. Yea of course" I said hugging Bayley one last time walking acroos the row to get to finn for the picture

"Be nice ok " Bayley calls out giggling.

"Yea yeah " I said putting the t-shirt on moving my hair ,and fixing it a little getting into the ring with Finn standing in the middle with Finn.

"Hey I didn't really ever get to meet you before. I've seen you around and well I'm Finn Bálor " Finn said sticking out his hand for me to shack with I gladly shook

"Crystal. Crystal Foster " I said shacking his hand.

"Nice to properly meet you. " Finn said smiling at me and I gave him a small smile.

" Ok we just want a picture of the two of you i dont really care what pose " the lady said holding up a phone for a picture.

"Just this then" Finn said putting his arm around my shoulder as i put mine around his torso. We smiled the picture was to taken. I got out of the ring going back to Bayley who was smiling at me.

"What?" I asked looking down at my red shirt

"you like him..." she said with that kids like smile on her face.

"Shut up do not!" I said glaring at her as Smakdown picked Alexa Bliss then Raw went back and forth intell we all knew who was going to at Raw and Smakdowns show.

I was a nervous werk. I mean like who dosnt stop and stare when Finn Bálor walks by hes well a very beaftuil man and i got to say i still look at him every now and again.

"Okay people don't get confused we still have a show tommarow night! So go get back to your guys hotel rest. Lets get ready for takeover ,and lets just all give the people who got drafted today a big huge round of Applause. Ill miss you guys and the NXT superstars and universe well sure miss you too" Matt said starting to clapping i smiling waving at everyone clapping as well for the other people who got drafted.

'I cant believe your leaving me " Bayley said frowning ,but hugs me holding me tightly.

"Just means you have to get on my leavl again. Plus, im hungry lets go get somethibg to eat before we head back to the hot to crash" i say smiling

"I have an idea. Lets invite everyone who got drafed to a dinner tonight.. Like we use to do when it was late after a show. Just hit up a diner and have no last dinner. Itllbe a goodbye dinner!" Bayley said smiling with enjoyment.

"Yeah sounds good ill go talk to the girls then you can go ask the guys sense you have better moves then i do" I told her as we go our separate ways

"So like olds time right ?" Nia askes smiling when i got over to the group. Well my close net group was pretty much Bayley and Sasha. With Carmella, Nia and Alexa being a very close friends too

"Yes exactly so im here asking you guys if you would come as i dont ask a lot of you ,but god it would be nice to have like a far well dinner before i have to beat you back up" i said laughing at my joke looking at my friend group that i love dearly.

Nia and Alixa look at each then back at me " We're in meet you guys there" Nia said smiling as her and Alixa make there way outside.  I already talked to Carmella and let me just say i don't know who was happier her getting invited or Bayley coming up with the idea.

"So like old times then? " Sasha asks wrapping her arm around my neck as we meet back up with Bayley.

"So all the guys well be there and Finn" Bayley said nagging me with her eldow expecting to get a reaction out of me.

"Oooo she like Finn?!" Sasha asks smiling glancing at me. "Why didnt you tell me?" Sasha asked shooked.

"Well bayley pryde it out of me not like I was expecting to tell her" I say bitting my nails like I always do.

"Okay okay i dont agree with that! It was writen all over your face that you liked Finn" Bayley says as we all headed to the car to meet up for dinner with everyone.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[isaacathom]

ok deakin uni are we 100% sure we want this fuckers name on our university like i know we were all racist in the 20s but uhhhhhhhhh like im Just saying

more rambling about prime ministers in the service of wooorldbuillding???? (????) under the cut

WAIT DEAKIN IS ONLY 50- GUYS. WHAT. WHY. THIS WOULD HAVE BEEN KNOWN INFO. WHY DID WE NAME THE UNIVERSITY AFTER HIM. bro. Bro. Bros? Lads? Dudes? My fellas? what the fuck were you doing naming a university in 1974 after a pm who was Big Boy behind white australia my fucking God. what the fuck. Yall? The fuck. Why. ok when i name this fake fucking university in ACitDS (the uni isnt actually located in UWG though) im naming it for a fucking good prime minister. which might be hard but im gonna try my best to find someone whose at least DECENT. like.... my first thought in menzies but god i would hate to go to a school named for him bc the amount of bullshit that would come from pronouncing his name the scottish way would drive me Fucking Insane. Mingies. Im not going to a school named mingers, yall. 

uhh lets find a pm. god seeing scomos face startles me everytime. im just hoping shorten has a nice photo lined up. was watson decent. ‘first socialist or social democratic government’ alright im down for this. he was only leader for 4 months but its a precedent thing. he seems like a cool dude. fisher is also cool. can you tell im picking labor prime ministers yet? one issue - he’s from ql. and watson was from nsw. fuckers. wheres a good vic pm who isnt taken (im think curtin was victorian, dont quote me on that). im not counting hughes, if hes even a vic. nope, new south, dammit. mother fuckers. SCULLIN WAS FROM VICTORIA, ok we’re fucking getting somewhere now. alright. wait what am i doing it Says their electorate in the main p- fuck me ok. ok. alright.

jesus hughes what the Fuck

anyway uhh most of the vic guys are kinda eeehhhh so im down for Scullin i guess. Scullin University, lmao. ALSO

FUCKING DAMMIT CURTIN

but i guess scullin university, then? if we wanna keep it at least vaguely associated. he was a labor guy rather than a... uh......liiiberal? i guess. so theres that. but id rather have it be like.... a good guy. not that it really matters in the scheme of things because the hypothetical Scullin University (located in fucking, i dont know, Norwood Melbourne, eat my ass) isn’t actually like. a real presence for ACitDS? like im considering that there MIGHT be a joiner there (have Thomas really get around, though it all ultimately comes home) but having any part of the game take place as Scullin seems weird bc it implies its during the trimester. and its during the trimester, Thomas really cant justify doing all this Absolute Fucking Nonsense. I believe in the dream it was actually the end of trimester 1, with the game starting basically on their last day. which means they were born in may, since their birthday was riiiight before. that doesnt preclude any of the game taking place at or adjacent to Scullin, because there is the whole month of break b/w tris 1 and 2 and since Thomas is an art student they probably have to go pick up their folios which gives them an excuse t be in the area. but at the same time i dont know where a joiner would be (well, i Do, sort of) and it raises bigger timeframe risks in terms of the time of day. like... thomas has to get home. and trust me mother fuckers, if thomas was in the hole too long that is a fuck of a trip home. the tram runs till late. the uhhhhh 732 runs....  hmm. lemme check hold on homies... ok thomas is fine for getting to like, Knox City (Kent City? whatever) but its getting HOME thats the stickler. god the new ptv site is trash on desktop, i cant see SHIT. maps are nice but i wanna actually like.... see the options im being given. bitch. ok put it this way. if thomas leaves at 8pm, theyre fine. sort of. having to get a tram and 3 buses home isnt ideal by any stretch but its doable. if thomas leaves at 9pm, theyre fucked. you cant get home. theyd basically have to walk the whole fucking way from deakin to vermont south. sorry, Scullion to whatever South. good luck! 

like. good fucking luck thomas. its an hour to walk to the 732 at that time of night so if you miss that tram youre fucked. even if thomas makes it to vermont south, apparently theres basically jack shit between 9pm and 5am soooo good luck.

its not necessarily a huge issue because it could always work on narnia logic. but im not super into the idea of having it be very dilated. plus, idk, maaaybe thomas lives near a train station. i dont think they do. because i know i dont. but yknow. hypothetically. well ok theres a bunch of services between vermont and knox in the Dark Hours but then they have to get home. its like an hour walk. after fighting demons and angels thomas is gonna be fucking knackered. absolutely not walking for an hour to get home. theyd be more likely to crash at a friends place on Res at Scullion. i dont even know if youre allowed to do that. one sec. well, technically, but if its between semesters???? eh. idk. be a Lillllll funky on that front. idk. i do really like the idea of having one of the ‘day’ transitions being thomas half asleep on a bus/tram/train, though. so we could easily just handwave it and say that they live close enough to a station or transport hub that its essentially accessible at awkward hours of the night. plus its like, if the day starts in the morning, it being late evening for that seems fair. well, late evening as in like..... 8pm or smth. since thats a fair enough time to my mind. 12 hours all up, maybe?

idk. i think this baaasically works. Thomas [SUR. NAME] lives in Upper Wattle Gully in the south eastern suburbs, and attends Scullion University in Norwood. anyone who lives out my way know immediately what all of that means. ;)

[happylittleroleplays]

Sentence Starters: Coyote Ugly Part 1

“When are you guys going to talk about something else?”

“Those arent eggs, their egg whites. I’d rather eat the carton.”

“No fast food. No Sausage.”

“How should I live?”

“It’s simple. Don’t go.”

“You said I could be anything that I wanted to be.”

“You said anything. And I believed you.

“I’m not leaving this house without you’re support.”

“I’m not going to give you a big hug or wish you luck.”

“I am going to sit here with my coffee and pretend to be mad. Is that okay?”

“Good luck. There. I said it.”

“Put pepper spray in your purse. Even if youre not sure, just start spraying.”

“Its just some emergency cash I saved up.”

“From the looks of this place,this is our emergency.”

“We’ve never followed through on a single thing. I think thats what makes us so special.”

“Look at you, you really did it.”

“I don’t like to be alone in the night.”

“I don’t like to hear I’m wrong when I’m right.”

“All i want is someone to sing my songs.”

“Welcome to the music business.”

“Who do I look like, your god damn maid?”

“You better not push me kid.”

“I just made a complete fool of myself.”

“I’m almost sure I would have told you.”

“I’m not following you home, I’m just walking 26 blocks in the wrong direction.”

“It’s not all my fault, you did throw yourself at me.”

“I was pretending to be sweet and innocent so you’d help me.”

“Can I ask you a question? Why did we just walk in a circle? Are you lost?”

“Okay I’ve never had anyone stare at my ass for half an hour so I’m going to say goodnight and I’m hoping you’re going to say it back.”

“You just don’t give up do you?”

“For the record I was only staring at your ass for the first 15 minutes.”

“Sign your name in here and get yourself ready.”

“Bathroom’s around the corner if you want to throw up.”

“Don’t tease me honey, sing!”

“Come on. A naked girl in army boots? Easy play to call.”

“You let him BRAND you?”

“We each made 300.00 tonight.”

“Let me take a look at ya.”

“the last thing I need is some waitress on a power trip wasting my time.”

“The average man is walking around with a toddler in his pants.”

“Let’s see your moves.”

“She just cut off some guys ponytail!”

“As of this moment you are to appear available but never be available.”

“You can have it any way you like as long as its in a shot glass.”

“ Jim, Jack, Johnny Red, Johnny Black, and Jose; all my favorite men.”

“You can only be a tease if you stop sleeping around babe.”

“We all play our little parts. Except she really is a bitch and I really am a tease.”

“Ever since I got really drunk on tequila, I never really drink the stuff anymore.”

“I was just asking this man to buy me a double.”

“The way I see it you got two choices. You can start a fight here, throw some punches, get a bloody nose, make complete fools of yourselves. Or you can take this ten I got here and buy these pretty ladies a round at the bar.”

“I’m just dying to know where that came from.”

“Try serving beer and pizza on Monday nights when the giants play the cowboys in November.”

“I’d be shocked if you survived another night.”

“Did you really write all those songs?”

“I’m just trying to tell you that I like your music.”

“Do you always take compliments so well?”

“If you want to see me again, you’ll figure it out.”

“I have a serious shopping problem.”

“Nobody wears leather in church.”

“Forgive me father, for I have sinned.”

“The next time a guy buys you a shot, chase it with a beer. I don’t swallow them. I just spit the shot back into the beer bottle.”

“I’m not a lesbian. I played in the minors but never went pro.”

“Who am I kidding? I cant do this.”

“There’s a really cute guy at the bar asking for you.”

“So much for sweet an innocent.”

“Take a good look, tonight’s my last night, I think I’m gonna get fired.”

“It’s payback time.”

“Come on girls, 150.00 and you’ll see the butt.”

“You’re going to owe me big time for this one.”

“ Did you ever wake up sober after a one night stand, and the person you're next to is layin' on your arm, and they're so ugly, you'd rather chew off your arm then risk waking 'em?”

“It’s 3:30 in the morning. I want what every man wants...Breakfast”

“That’s it? I go to breakfast with you and we’re even?”

“We’re not even close to even. Because I danced on a bar, I took of my shirt, and I unzipped my pants.”

“I hate to spoil your evening but it looks like were not gonna go anywhere.”

“Cute?? It’s very rugged and manly!!”

“Do you always eat breakfast on the hood of your car?”

“You may not be feeling it now but I think one day youll be on stage singing a song about this very night.”

“When I get on stage I freeze.”

“All I have ever really wanted to do is stand in the dark and listen to someone else sing my songs. I want to be the one who writes it.”

“The great songs last forever.”

“The only way to get my songs heard is to go out there and sing them myself.”

“We’re going to have to fix this little problem straight away.”

“Do you always ask this many questions?”

“Do you always dodge this many questions?”

“The sun’s coming up.  We’re going to be late.”

“I was going to kiss you goodbye but I thought I might gag.”

“I...changed my mind about this kiss. I think we should give it a shot.”

“Yeah...I panicked and I didn’t know what else to say.”

“Shit! The cops are here.”

“Everyone wanted you honey.”

“That was like...a one time performance. That I have to repeat every night.”

“She sang along to a jukebox, lets not start polishing a grammy.”

“She saved your ass.”

“She saved me from kicking the shit out of some drunks.”

“I’ve gotta walk or celebrate or pass out or something.”

“You called me in the middle of the night and said there was an emergency.”

“Why would anything be wrong?”

“Well. I had a good night. So I wanted a good-night kiss.”

“What’s going on? Why do I need my guitar??”

“The only way I can show you is to make you really nervous.”

“I think the audience got more than they paid for, really.”

[ofphcenixes]

BLUE & LIBBY - text thread 001

texts from 3:55pm to 7:01pm

blue

hey lib. (: havent talked today. just wanted to drop in and see if u were doin alright i have memes if u need them

libby

i mean, technically we did talk. i reminded you of the moment the world stood still: when valentine and you made contact (1) time. are you okay though? you seem a little, weird

blue

i maintain that valentine was an alien in a spider suit that wanted to destroy me but u know what I mean djdjdjd just chats between us. the gc has been a june holden fest lately lmao hope it works out for them tho anyways i am always weird in ur eyes djdjhd. but im fine. shit was crazy that night and we never really got to talk about what happenedand if u wanted to talk i just want u to kno im here ABOUT NADIA bc yeah kdjdjjd

libby

don't talk to me or my son ever again yeah, wow, okay so holden stayed over the night. i only know that because i saw his stuff in her room? i think she mentioned that like, it was a one time thing but i feel like... he might be coming over again which.. is Interesting oh. yeah, no i think i'm okay. i guess just in shock. june is very broken up over it, so i'm doing my best to be a good pal, and bring loads of ice cream and kisses. /: do you wanna talk? about nadia? i know that she like, meant something to you

blue

ok good luck getting me to stop talkin to u but as for valentine? bye Felecia! is that right. hmm well he doesn’t seem like much is goin on so maybe they were just,, hanging out. bringing a bag over is pretty damning tho. and if he does come over and u see him tell that bih he owes me $ bc he ate my fucking chorizo salad ): r u proud lib?? I ate a salad by choice well I would have if Holden wasn’t a lil birch bitch DONT CENSOR ME fuck. im sorry. ): i actually wanted to see june today tbh. but if u need anyone pls let me know alright? id skip practice if u needed me, lib WELL. i mean ok i was sorta close with her in middle school and she’s always been a friend and I just. I’m just fucking numb tbh. I really can’t believe it

libby

i'll have you know that valentine died shortly after my 18th birthday so ): idk idk, why would they hang out in her room if they were "hanging out"? like they have history. i feel like thats, a little too ... suspicious given the context. in a good way though. like i hope it works out theyre both so miserable without each other. oh my god!! look at you go! so proud of you, dude! ( even if you never got to it lmao ) no, no, it's okay. june needs all the support she can get, and i don't wanna impede. i'm really fine, i just sort of need to accept it and i guess reflect on how terrible it is. she was a really sweet person and fuck i really cant believe any of it i guess

blue

fuck what kdjdjdnd I thought valentine just yeeted shit that’s not a good way to put it fuck but. im sorry lib ): ok I take it back Valentine was alright. still scared the fuck out of me tho all i know is that if i loved someone as much as holden loves june, i wouldn’t let you go **THEM fuck Damn phone Typos Djdjhdi can’t believe u make me eat green stuff its truly CRUEL whomst? I only know nadia just didn’t fucking deserve any of this. shit even daisey didn’t. i just want to protect everyone and i don’t know HOW it goes without saying that im happy to be ur uber driver for the indefinite future

libby

no omg, i took good care of my boy. idk what happened, they can live up to like 15 years so i was pretty bummed tbh. i was a bad mom he appreciates your support from the grave though i mean, i guess. but not everyone you love is going to love you back, i think that's where holden's at. not everyone wants to be clung to, and june seems reluctant besides, you know all about that. holden, the love of your life, loves june. how sad it's good for you!!! i'm helping i ... feel so badly for both of them. i can't imagine how their families must be feeling, fuck. i hate this. i'm moving to spain ah, dude you don't have to do all that. you probably are busy with practice, and holden, and work. thank you tho

blue

im sure ur a great mother. ): but still valentine was lucky to have u. and im sure he misses u in his weird spider heaven web of flies and whatever it is spiders like idk ill dm peter parker and find out i mean... guess that’s true. I suppose I dont get to see how june feels most of the time. i just wish they’d talk about it and sort it out at least. they both deserve to be happy holden is the loml that is true aksjjsjd. holden has enough room for both me and june in his heart. so i mean technically i can love someone else too?? but enough about that lmfao you definitely are helping. even coach has noticed dkdjd. making me better without even trying u can’t move without me who’s gonna get me free popcorn ): you’re just as important as practise and holden to me, lib.

libby

god, i miss him. you think the girls would be mad if i bought another one? like, to keep in my room.  i know! they're both obviously still in love, you can tell. i can't wait for them to overcome this and get to be together. also, im grateful for the amount of sleep i'm able to get now that... the room next to mine is less loud welp, i hope you find someone who is willing to share you with holden lol oMG, REALLY? IDK WHY THAT MADE ME IRRATIONALLY HAPPY LOL. WE CAN GET SALAD LATER let's go, we'll go to spain and take on a new identity. we can live along the coast and work in a bakery or something. get a puppy don't show holden that text he might cry. but dsjflk thank you, you're very important to me too. kinda my best pal

blue

u would have to ask. but if you did get another what would u call it? thanksgiving? funnily enough valentine is only a few weeks away. a sign?? i mean fuck ive known holden for years and can confirm he is happiest when he’s with june. when she’s not roasting him at least lmfao. and if my MasterPlan works im afraid things will get bad again djdjdj. I can take one for the team and try to get them to come over here tho - u don’t need to deal with that shit i hope i do too tbh. and who would I want it to be u ask? that’s right. danny devito. LETS NOT GET TOO CRAZY IVE ALREADY HAD THREE VEGETABLES THIS WERK AND ITS ONLY TUESDAY. I think it’s popcorn time 8) bold of u to assume i know where Spain is dkdjdjdjdj well he’s gonna catch on soon enough we spend every day together at this point lol

libby

i was gonna name this one patrick, after st patricks day actually lol. yes you know what's also approaching that is more important? your birthday! i know, it doesnt take a rocket scientist to figure that out. he's v much a relationship kinda dude, actually bc he's also kinda slutty lol. but even june is sad and its just, SO HARD. i hate when people are clearly, happiest together are like, nO IM GOING TO PROLONG THE MISERY. i feel like we're in a rom-com. how do we get them back together? i'll let him know. my v-day gift from me to you oooo, should i get the skittles ready too then? popcorn is kinda of a veggie if you think abt it omg, okay well now you can't come with me. offer rescinded. im going with the hot cop lslsfkjdjkldfs i mean its not like we're doing anything weird, so its okay, right?

blue

ur so cute wtf. although if u did do this i hope u know im calling him patrick star. also how the fuck do u tell if its a female or a male spider theyre so small and gross. fuck it is too lol. i dont have any money so im gonna let ppl down on the party front lmao. ud still come tho, right? how can he be both slutty and relationshippy. like not to be weird bc i know hes ur cousin and all dkfjgg but he doesnt.. have people over anymore. unless hes someone learned not to stomp around the house WHICH I DONT BELIEVE. and ha hA im already on plan 384 to get them back together get on my level lmao.  we just gotta force them to spend time together tbh. does that mean i have to give u the hot cop for valentines bc i mean. i would if that's what u wanted but im sure u can do much better than him OH FUCK UR RIGHT OUR WHOLE RELATIONSHIP HAS BEEN A LIE TO CONVERT ME TO VEGGIES HASNT IT r u breaking up with me? well fine, ill take the dog ): it's... it's not weird unless we make it weird. and we haven't. have we?

libby

fdsjfjdsl shhhhh, back at you. Patrick Star will be his full name, i promise you this much. as for gender idfk, i am honestly assuming its pronouns lol. i'd be sued by the LGBT community if they knew. also dude, of course. i'll make you cupcakes. plus i know what i wanna buy you! i  can't wait dude what? really?? i thought he was seeing people this whole time, holy shit. dude he's really messed up over this huh? wow, okay, we need to kick this into high gear and have them get back together. tell me your plans. omg, no you clown. i don't even like him that much, he's just pretty. i do like... some personality and he has 0 GOD MY PLAN HAS BEEN FOILED. I CANT BELIEVE IT like i'd ever let you take the dog. she's mine sdfjlkdsfjlk iDK DUDE. I MAY HAVE MADE IT WEIRD BUT WE'RE BAD AT TALKING ABT STUFF, SO WE DONT HAVE TO LOL.

blue

do spiders even have gender i thought they were just the minions of evil lmfao lib u rly dont have to get me anything, really. altho now im curious tbh. but get ready for me to get a lit gift in june >:) ill even wrap it myself which says a lot bc i cant wrap for shit but i want it to be personal lmao not many that im aware of atm. will give u info is this changes. huh we r spies lib. >:) but i dont have any current plans except trying to force them to go in a photo booth together or something when we eventually go to the arcade djsjdh omg how did u know. but idk everyone speaks about him like hes gOD he’s just a dude. eyebrows on fleek tho I will say that IM SO HURT UD USE ME LIKE THIS LIB. ALL THIS TIME WE WERE GETTING CLOSE AND U WERE ONLY HERE FOR THE VEGGIES so u get Spain AND the dog. what do I get, sadness ???? you haven’t made it weird lib, i promise. not to me, anyway. maybe we both wanted the same thing. maybe. oR MAYBE NOT LMFAO but yeah we can talk about whatever lol

libby

don't talk about nate like that omg! i want to, plus its a surprise so no asking what it is. also wow i cant believe you remember my birthday, lol. you dont have to get me anything. you can buy me an ice cream though oh my gOD THAT'S BRILLIANT! aw, what if they take one of those cute kiss pictures in the photobooth like in the movies? i can't wait for them to love each other again, they're so cute. are you jealous that no one is talking about your eyebrows? you have nice eyebrows and nothing to be jealous abt GOD, IM SO SORRY. ROY HIRED ME. HE WAS WORRIED ABT YOUR HEALTH. IM SORRY YOU HAD TO FIND OUT THIS WAY. I THOUGHT YOU NEVER WOULD /: you get the memory of what we were to keep you warm right, cool. noted

blue

why do u talk about the string bean all the time i know u grew up with him but seriously he's like a pale pipe cleaner that i dont need in my life ofc i remeber ur birthday lib. dont u remember ur 10th?? probably the best day of my life lmao. and if u get me something i get u something thats how this works as long as june doesnt say anything mean and holden say anything stupid, its a pretty solid plan tbh. im not jealous HOW DARE ROY PLAY ME LIKE THIS. cant believe u betrayed me lib, after all we've been through ;-; but what if i want something to sell off now that u took the house oh fuck lib i didn't mean it like that. just... pretend i said nothing ok and. yeah talk about something else

libby

hey sorry, i gotta go. talk tomorrow.

blue

oh is everything ok? but alright talk tomorrow then i guess bye lib

libby

night

blue

its 6pm lib but okay night

blue

lib if i did something u dont have to tell me but pls know i didnt mean it, whatever it was. i hope youre okay. but i wont bother u again i promise. just. yeah

libby

it's okay, dude. i'm fine. it's honestly my own fault, it's not you. you're always great. i'm sorry. it's fine

blue

i dont understand what ur talking about but i can tell u dont want to so ill just... leave this. but you're always great too lib. the greatest, in fact. just let me know if ur still coming to the arcade later or not yeah

libby

i guess i'll go. i like pacman.

blue

if u... if u change ur mind i understand. but i really hope u can make it.

[singingunderthecurtain]

What Does Chogiwa Mean? [I]

Author: @loeyeolty AU: Office | Coworker Genre: Crack | Fluff Pairing: Baekhyun x Soojin (OC) Trigger Warning: n/a Word Count: 1,349

Plot: Office crushes and Peach Soju are a very, very bad match!

A/N: this was edited and compiled by @julietsoddeye . she is an angel! thank you! anyways, OC names used here are the same with her Diamond series, but they are not the same universe. A lot of our works are based off of Soojin, Hisako, and Yanmei and we just edit the names once we are done writing. But sometimes we’re too lazy to edit so we just let the OC names stay as is, just like in this one!

Soojin had been training with Baekhyun.

Baekhyun has been handling the loan files for this month, part of his CEO training duties as well.

"Soojin can you hand me over those files," Baekhyun motions to the pile of folders at her desk.

Soojin trumps over her heels that she borrowed from Yanmei causing her to topple over Baekhyun.

"Soojin, I can't breathe," Baekhyun said between muffled breaths.

"I cant see u? Baekhyun, where are you?"

Soojin felt delicate hands push her buttocks up, breathing air between her thighs.

She looks down to find herself sitting on his precious face.

"Oh shit, I am so sorry?"

"Its ok I'm used to it"

Soojin hurriedly tries to lift her butt up, only to have her hips stopped by Baekhyun's firm hands.

"Ttay."

"Ayyyyyy" Yanmei screams as she walks in the room with Junmyeon holding her hand.

~~~

"Where you?" Soojin frantically hits send in her Kakaotalk. she examines her cocktail, waiting for Yanmei and Hisako to come but it has been an hour.

"Cafe Havana"

It wasn't the reply she was expecting.

Soojin read the sender name again and again. BYUN BAEKHYUN.

"Oh so sorry! wrong send!" Soojin felt cold sweat break on her forehead speed texting him back.

"I don't really mind. whats up? :)"

"I'm just waiting for my friends, It has been an hour and.."

“Do you need company while waiting for them?"

"No, its okay I'm fine."

And that was a fateful month ago. Nothing much was exchanged between Soojin and Baekhyun except for awkward glances and good mornings.

Soojin had spent an awful time drunk with Hisako and Yanmei in their apartment.

Soojin had been counting her bills when Baekhyun boldly approached her.

"Chogiwa... I can't really explain it without context."

"I am not sure what you mean."

Soojin racks her brain, not remembering a single moment of discussing chogiwa with him.

"This," As Baekhyun whips out his phone from his thick thigh pockets, the jiggle of his butt made Soojin swoon.

Baekhyun opens a KKT conversation sent at midnight.

"What does chogiwa mean?" Baekhyun reads aloud.

"Hh fuck fuck fuck" Soojin's face reddens as she slams her fist on the table. Peach soju, she remembers chugging it, screaming Baekhyun's name in frustration and blacking out.

"I didn't send that," Was her alibi.

"My friend Yanmei, she was using my KKT to talk to her ex Jongdae, who was also my friend. Must have sent it to you hah,"

Baekhyun quirks his brow and smirks, "I'll let you slide this time." As he walks away.

Disaster averted. Soojin breathes. or so she thought.

When Soojin came home, she was determined to confront Hisako and Yanmei on who sent that weird text to her awkward office crush. But the ice cold peach soju on the table was too damn inviting. Downing it even before her roommates could arrive.

Saturdays were supposed to be for sleeping in, but Soojin found herself in the office with her office mates Junmyeon, Sehun and worse, Baekhyun. Soft fingers tapped on her shoulder unexpectedly.

"Send nudes." Baekhyun shows his KKT screen again. "Whoever your friend Yanmei could be, I heard Junmyeon just broke up with his girlfriend too. Maybe we could set them up?"

Soojin's eyes could not believe that her phone sent "send nudes" to Baekhyun, without her conscious knowledge of it. Thankfully Baekhyun seems to be riding along the idea that it was her friend sending those weird messages. "Sure? Why not?"

Soojin wanted to save herself from embarrassment "But maybe she meant nude kimbap. That was her favorite, so was her ex Jongdae's favorite. On weekends we like making those."

"Yeah, nude kimbap. If that's the case id like some nudes too. Maybe from you?" Baekhyun winks as he files more credit papers on his drawers.

He turns around and the tight well-fitting uniform formed creases on his thick buttocks. The shape of his torso complimenting his body as well.

Soojin could not help but stare, only to have her view disrupted by a passing Junmyeon.

"I heard everything. I’d love to meet new people. But I don't want to do blind dates. I want to start as friends then build our relationship from there..." Junmyeon visualizes.

"And your point is?" Baekhyun laughs.

"Maybe... Maybe Soojin could arrange a house party inviting her favorite coworkers then I could meet her roommate."

"Ha, you wish." Soojin rolls her eyes at the two men.

"C’mon Soojin, it won't be so bad. We could start tonight. I’ll pay for the food." Baekhyun begs.

"Fine."

~~~

Baekhyun barges in the apartment, carrying packets of ramen and spam.

"That's your idea of party food?" Soojin snorts.

"Yeah, I live alone. This is what bachelors eat okay, don't judge me?"

When Junmyeon and Yanmei shook hands, stars formed in their eyes.

Hisako came in setting the tv for some movies, Junmyeon and Soojin took turns setting the couch to accommodate six people.

Chanyeol, a friend of Soojin, decided to help Yanmei and Baekhyun cook the army base stew in the kitchen.

"Hi Yanmei, I mean we are just new friends but, we-were you texting me?"

"What?" Yanmei sets down her sprig of spring onion.

"I mean these," Baekhyun whips out his phone showing the slew of weird messages. An audible laugh escaped from Chanyeol's lips

"Why?" Baekhyun stares at the taller man.

"That's classic Soojin, always drunk, always drunk texting." The tall man quips.

"Did she blame it on me again? That bitch!" Yanmei motions Hisako to come close and check the messages.

"She told me you were the one sending this," Baekhyun's head swam in confusion.

"Affirmative, that's her. Why the heck would Yanmei tamper with her phone?" Hisako nods.

Baekhyun hides his phone, smiling sheepishly to himself.

~~~

"Soojin, we have a situation." Baekhyun sternly spoke, distracting Soojin from Zootopia.

"You mean that—" Soojin points at the six-foot giant bawling his eyes at the sight of the bunnies and foxes.

"No."

"That?" Soojin points at Yanmei and Junmyeon, now making out on the table.

"No... Oh, that's hot, but no." Baekhyun snaps himself back. "We need more spam."

Soojin mindlessly follows Baekhyun to his car which was parked across the road opposite the building. Crossing the road, Baekhyun gently grabs her hand. Staying on the dangerous side of the road.

These small gestures made her heart beat mad but she shrugged it off. Maybe he's just kind.

When Baekhyun told her to "get anything you want" in the convenience store, it made her heart flutter. but maybe he was just kind.

"Here, have some more nudes," Baekhyun sets out a pack of reverse kimbap and breaks chopsticks for Soojin.

"Damn why are you being so nice? You're not my officemate Baekhyun, bring him back!" Soojin laughs to shake off her weird thoughts.

"I'm just being nice to my textmate, Yanmei."

"What."

"I knew it was you." Baekhyun plants a kiss on her cheek.

Soojin is stunned in her seat outside the 7-Eleven.

"You, you're gonna give me a heart attack!" Soojin playfully hits Baekhyun's chest, feeling his hard pectoral muscles, making her blush.

"You liking what you feel?" Baekhyun's smirk widens.

"Okay fine, I drunk texted you! Just stop playing now—"

Baekhyun shushes her by kissing her other cheek.

"Baekhyun!!!" Soojin coyly covers her hot cheek.

"Come, Soojin let's go home," Baekhyun takes her hand, leading her back home.

"Wait, I forgot something,"

Soojin pulls Baekhyun back to the convenience store…

~~~

"Shhh" Soojin tiptoes back in her apartment, with Baekhyun hand in hand.

She noticed Hisako on Chanyeol’s shoulders both asleep on the couch, the tv streaming Rick and Morty, no Junmyeon or Yanmei in sight.

"I could kiss you now and I'm so good I swear I won't make a sound. Those two won't even wake up," Baekhyun whispers

"Bullshit. Get in my room. now!"

Aikie Masterlist | Michiko Masterlist | FIC RECS | FIC REC SIDEBLOG

[seventeen-teen-teen-trash]

Ahhhh i actually cant believe that Vernon's is over?? It was so good,,,,,,,(all of your au's are amazing) It hasnt felt like that long ahhhh and now its moving onto the next one,,,,,, bittersweet, bittersweet :') - sushi anon ♡

me too ahh i loved his au sm.

@tinyglasses said:Awwwwwwww that was so cuuuuute!!!! 😍😍😍😍 *Aggressively applauds you*

lmfao thank you thank you.

@lilili-yabaets said:the update. the final one. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

me too.

Anonymous said:AHHHHHHHH THE ENDING OF VERNONS AU WAS SO CUTE!!!! DEFINITELY ONE OF MY FAVES! Although all of your aus are my faves 😂😂😂 ily so much!!

awwwww yes thank you :’) his au was definitely a wild ride. ily2!!!

@laragazzadifuoco said:JOSHUA WANTS TO CHANGE FOR THE GIRL HE MET, I CAN'T WAIT TO READ HIS AU *_* and by the way I loved this ending with Vernon and Cinnamon kissing and eating Ice cream!!! *_*

YES. GET READY FOR HIS AU. YOU’LL BE PISSED BUT SMITTEN AT THE SAME TIME. IT’LL BE GREAT.

@skytimil said:Oh Gosh the sweetness I'm in loooove 😭💞

omg me toooooo. I love this concept of Vernon

Anonymous said:Idk if it’s just me but......... Joshua was so cute in the last Vernon post im PUMPED for Joshua’s texts to start!!!😊 yayayayayay

ahahaha. me too!! but we all should rest. lol for your sake of angst

Anonymous said:Hhh, that au was so good, I love,,, - sunflower anon 🌻

ALSO IM SO GLAD YOU'RE GETTING SOME REST NOW BB, TAKE YOUR TIME AND LOOK AFTER YOURSELF. WE'RE ALL SO GRATEFUL FOR WHAT YOU'VE DONE - sunflower anon 🌻

THANK YOU BBY AHH YOU’RE SO SWEET AND KIND. MY HE A RT. :’)

Hi! I'm here just to say that I love your AUs and that I have followed you for quite a while but just now though about telling you that. And well, abt Vernons AU... daehoon (idk if it's well spelled) what a bitch! Also, I'm super excited for Joshuas AU! Hope u have a good day and take care of yourself! Sorry for the long message😌 (just gonna put an anon noun here hehe) - Chanon

hey bby!!! thank you so much for keeping up with my blog and reading everything!! it really means a lot ty ty tyty :’)

@ganseylil said:Yes! Coco is such a great movie!!

it really was!!!

Anonymous said:THAT FLUFF IN THE END MADE MY HEART DJIEJSJDJDKWJDIJDDJDJJD

same. it was well deserved after all of that angst.

@wendrauhl said:damn, jihoon, wonwoo, seungkwan, hao, cheol, jeonghan, hansol, soon, and there's already only 5 members left 😩😩 i remember when you announced you'd made the jihoon one jsnsjsd i was like omg a college jihoon series and then you started writing for all the other members???? i'm lucky enough to have been here since you started the college aus and i got to see good ideas after good ideas, the plots are amazing and imo orignal, oof can't believe it's been like 5months-ish? i think? ily 💕💖💘💓💘

awwwww yes! I’m so proud of how far I’ve come without giving up. like surprisingly, the au’s take a lot of energy to make. cause there’s a lot of behind the scenes of like me plotting, finding the right pictures, setting up the social media, and then I’m always answering your guys’ asks :) I’m just really thankful I can work hard for all of you. :’) thank you so much. Ily2!!!

@mysticmakertraveler said:Awww, it's end already.. But i'm excited for our fuckboy joshuaaaaa >///

me too :) you guys aren’t ready tbh

@svt-angel said:AWWWW THIS END WAS JUST SO CUTE AND BEAUTIFUL AND PERFECT 💖💖💖 take a good rest now bby we love you 😘

I’M SO GLAD YOU GUYS LIKED IT. and i’ll rest, don’t worry I love you guys too.

Anonymous said:hello the golden vernon au has ended i died thank u love u :* and hmmm 16 u say? close (kinda) but noooo muahahahaha (guess again muahaha ull be hella surprised hah) love lots -happy anon :)

hahaha i love you too! and hmmmmmmmmmm.... 14? 19?

@joshoonuihan said:I WENT SWIMMING AGAIN... But this time with goggles :3

CUUUIUTTEEEE

good lmao. don’t burn your eyes. and thank you :’)

@run-out-of-ideas said:OH MY GOD AGAJSNBVHSJDBSZ MINGHAO JUST DROPPED HIS MIXTAPE AHHH MY BABE❤️💓💕💖

ohhh I haven’t gotten to listen to it yet. I will eventually :)

Anonymous said:awwwww great job babe the ending was so cute!! 💞💞 ~ highkey fangirl

thank you bby!!! it really means a lot. :)

[jnuhoe]

dm me

request; can u make a fanfic bout me and chanwoo!!! ;))

- chanwoo x reader

- 1k+ , i was inspired by chanwoos love for baseball !!!!!! 

- “junchans sent a message.”

lowercase is intended

“what do you mean our seats got messed up?” a distressed look appears on the young man’s face. you were at a baseball game and you overheard the young guys complaining. you weren’t particularly interested in baseball but your morals just couldnt turn down your uncle who flew all the way down to your hometown and asked you to go watch a game with him.

“seriously yunhyeong, im so pissed. now i gotta sit with a stranger.” the young man complained to another young man with a fairer complexion and questionably smooth blonde hair. “now there chanwoo, it cant be that bad, i mean we’re still here right?”  chanwoo what a cute name, you thought to yourself. he is kind of cute as well hmm.

your uncle came back with calorie filled snacks and placed them in your lap, “eat up kid, this place is a rip off. can you believe $3.80 for a flippin hotdog?” you chuckled, you missed your uncle, you spent most of your childhood with him until he flew to london to further his studies. you were so glad he decided to come back to korea to live with you again.

the sound of a low grumble made you turn your head. isnt that the- the um chanwoo? he was unbelievably handsome up close. you watched as chanwoo threw his long body into the seat next to yours, “this seat isnt taken right, i dont want to move again.”  you stuttered for some reason “n-no.. it isnt.” chanwoo thought to himself.

well. 

at least the stranger’s cute.

-

“seriously?! my GOD Y/N DID YOU SEE THAT GUY? i cant believe he missed that throw!” the batter missed the ball and your uncle was downright about to get out of his seat and jump into the pit to beat the shit out of the batter. “right,” you held your arms out towards your uncle, “dude chill, theres another round.” somehow you felt chanwoo gaze on you but you decided to ignore it.

when your team scored, all of their fans stood up cheering, including chanwoo. “YO UNCLE THAT WAS AMAZING.” you werent interested at first but man the batter got his shit together and accomplished a home run. you and your uncle were jumping in victory until there was a sudden grip on your hand. “yunhyeong! oh my god did u see that he- oh crap sorry.. thought you were my friend.” chanwoo apologised as he scratched the back of his head and smiled at you. “nah its fine, it really was an amazing round though!” you smiled back, only to realize you were the only two still standing. “hey lovebirds! sit down! you’re blocking our view.” you both apologised and sat back down shyly.

“um..” chanwoo extended his arm, “im chanwoo” yeah i know, kinda overheard your heated argument. “im y/n! nice to meet you.” you flashed a friendly but in some way awkward smile at him, damn your social skills.

you didnt talk for the rest of the game until your team won with a score of 2-0 (a/n: tbh i dont know how baseball works dont attack me) “y/n! kid! since our team won, i’ll take you out to dinner as promised. i’ll go get the car. why dont you...” your uncle leaned in to whisper, “why dont you say goodbye to your friend, hes one heck of a catch.” your jaw dropped in disbelief, “UNCLE, whY WOULD YOU SAY-“ “SEE YA KID, BE QUICK.” and your uncle ran off.

you laughed and turned around to find chanwoo awkwardly standing at the steps looking for his friend. “hey um, chanwoo?” he turned his head almost immediately, “it was nice knowing you, i’ll see you around?” what the hell y/n? see you around?! you dont even know him that well! OK slowly walk away before this becomes even more awkward. you began to walk away to quickly escape the awkward atmosphere until chanwoo gently grabbed your wrist. “hey before you go, would you mind- um...” he coughed and rapped? ” givingmeyourinstagrambecauseiwouldreallylovetotalktoyou?”

you burst into a fit of laughter, “what??”.

“um- your instagram.. i would really like to know you more.” he scratched the back of his head. you exchanged usernames and parted ways.

-

you got into your uncles car and screamed into your hands. “HE ASKED FOR MY INSTAGRAM ACCOUNT OH MY GOD.” all your uncle could do was smile and shake his head, “don't get carried away now, he asked for your social medias. he didn't ask u to marry him.”

-

your phone vibrated and you took it out in anticipation, hoping its the tall brown haired handsome boy who dm-ed you.

junchans sent a message.

you let out a squeal and unlocked your phone.

-

junchans: hey!!! is this y/n?

y/u/n: sorry no

junchans: shit.. sorry

y/u/n: just kidding kid its me. whats up

junchans: so.. what are you doing tomorrow?

y/u/n: nothing much, probably gon sleep in till 1

y/u/n: omg are u askin me out

y/u/n: crap i shouldn't have asked that. if you aren't i'm gonna be embarrassed for life...

junchans: well yeah i am, catch a movie with me?

y/u/n: JDKSDK OKAY

junchans: wow you’re cute

wow you’re cute. he called me cute. cute?????? “UNCLE HE CALLED ME CUTE!” you ran out of the room and into the living room where your uncle was leisurely lying down on the couch next to your dog. “UNCLE you didnt ask but.. that chanwoo guy called me cute!”

“great, you should date him!”

“im catching a movie with him tomorrow, im freaking out !!!!!!!!”

“MARRY HIM.”

“UNCLE YOU ARE NOT HELPING. WHAT SHOULD I WEAR? what should i say? WHY AM I nervous?! crap..”

your uncle stood up and dragged you into your room. he picked out a peculiarly cute outfit for you, “wear this, dont freak out and be yourself. now get to bed!”

-

you looked pretty cute honestly speaking. the oversized jumper tucked into a pair of mom jeans looked well on you and your hair looked okay! the universe is on your side! may this date? go well.

-

coincidentally, you took the same train as chanwoo so the both of you walked to mall together. the sweet boy decided to pay for your ticket as well, you were catching “it” together. the both of you werent good with horror movies but watched it anyways. throughout the whole movie, you held chanwoos forearm, slightly touchy for someone you just got to know but you really couldn’t stand the sight of the damn clown. 

he wasnt good with the jumpscares as well, occasionally he’d jump and spill popcorn, causing you to giggle. “THAT WAS.. slightly scary.” you laughed at chanwoos response, “i couldnt stand that clown, jeez its so scary... but it was a good film!” 

you could obviously tell there was a bit of tension between the two of you, i mean you weren't the kind to start conversations. the cold air brushed against you and you lift your scarf up higher to cover your chilly nose and you caught chanwoos eyes, he threw you a smile, a smile which obviously screams “this is kinda awkward because we aint talking! and you caught me looking at you so why don't i smile to attempt to kill this tense air!” but that smile kinda made you flush red and chanwoo could probably tell from his little giggle which again didn't fail to make you feel all tingly on the inside.

chanwoos soft but husky voice awoke you from your daydreaming.  

“can i walk you home? i mean thats what guys usually do on dates and its kinda late.” date... DAte?! DATE?!!! “yeah sure and im kinda afraid to go back on my own as well.” you admitted shyly.

while walking, chanwoos hand kept rubbing against yours and you dont know if you had gone completely bonkers but you slipped your hand into his. chanwoo turned hastily towards you, your cheeks heated up real bad so you turned away. his hand was so big, it was more like he was holding your hand. it felt was so warm that you forget frosty weather that engulfed your city.

you didn't feel like letting go.

“well. we’re home. i mean i’m home.” damn it y/n. chanwoo laughed and unwillingly let go of your hand. “i had fun y/n, thanks for the date. i’ll call you out again sometime.” he winked and turned around to walk away but your voice stopped him in his tracks.

 “wait! chanwoo!” he turned around, “ i winked at you! you're not suppose to call me back, its embarrassing..” you giggled and asked, “can i borrow your phone?” he was confused but passed you his phone anyway, “you’re not gonna steal my phone or something right.” 

you laughed out loud, “nah but instead of always popping up in my dms, why dont you text me instead.” this time you winked and gave him back his phone, with chanwoos jaw slightly agape, you chuckled and unlocked the door to your apartment and waved a last goodbye to the tall handsome boy.

-

i finally posted something !!!! i wrote this quite some time ago and finally edited it, let me know if you liked it and what you think? my message box is always open! ✲ﾟ｡(✿)ﾉ☆.₀:*ﾟ✲ﾟ*

(and again i apologise for such a delay.. lifes kinda a bitch)