#i cant never remember the new url!

[prettytm]

COUGH EVE OR SAL COUGH

Is there even a choice? :: Accepting

"..That seems kinda unfair.. I love both my parents. Each one..gives me something I've never had before.. And you want me to pick between them? There's.. Mama.. I pick mama. Sorry dad."

[pillsarchive]

The two of us are dying.

Edward Nashton (Riddler)/ Trans male! Reader

Reader is a trans guy and he/they pronouns are used (but I can totally switch the pronouns + descriptions and make other versions if people are interested)

Synopsis ;

Reader is a True Crime freak, Edward is a freak freak, reader finds his stream one night and the riddler takes an interest in him.

Warnings ; Edward is an incel, stalking, creepy behavior on Edwards part, mentions of smut, kidnapping, terrorism childhood trauma, murder, mention of rat cage torture, the usual.

No real tangible smut (for now ;;;;))))

No one has ever really liked Edward Nashton.

As a child he was always picked last in gym, blankets and coats were missing when he came back to the orphanage from school, even then people were put off by him. Now as an adult it isn’t any better, still alone, still wanting for more. Even with his newfound purpose the prospect of isolation, lifetime isolation, it scares him. His fans fill the hole in his chest a little bit, but they arent nearly enough. It’s like he hasnt seen anyone face to face in years.

If someone asked you why you spend all this time learning about criminals you wouldn’t be able to tell them. You’ve never been violent (save for in thought), you dont have trouble empathizing with people, you never wet the bed or killed animals or suffered head trauma as a child, you dont even like torture porn movies. None of that matters because night after night you find yourself reading about gothams criminal history. Lately that’s meant learning about him. A masked serial killer in army fatigue, the man (at least you assume he's a man) you’ve been obsessing over for the last four weeks calls himself the riddler. Dorky name. Really really silly, you think, especially when you consider there’s another serial killer named ‘the joker’ locked up in arkham. The riddler and the joker, its hard to be upset by how absolutely shitty gotham is when most of its criminals are so goofy. That’s sort of what.....impresses (you aren’t sure thats the right word) you about the riddler - he’s horrifying in spite of the name. You weren’t really around town when the joker was free, but even after reading the accounts of what he did you cant imagine he was ever as chilling as this new one is. You’d like to meet him, the riddler, you think. See what he’s like with the mask off. See if that’s worse.

Just as your mind reaches to start thinking about gothams man in green again, you remember two things.

One, you aren’t allowed to think about weird shit at work - lest your thoughts spill out of your mouth and you scare your coworkers.

Two, you’re supposed to be on opening shift. Opening shift means you were supposed to unlock the doors five minutes ago. Yikes.

Thank god your boss isnt here and thank god there’s no one at the door.

You sigh and walk back to the counter.

Another exciting day of customer service.

That’s the thing you hate most about your job. Inconsistency. Some days the customers are sweet and they tip well, some days (cough today) are grueling - the people are rude the work is hard and at the end of the day you feel weak.

As you turn on your laptop you wonder ; what better way to wind down than watching a murderer livestream?

A url is typed into the search bar, you must have forgotten to clear it last night.

For weeks you’ve been trying to get brave enough to actually click ‘enter’ when you type in the website, but you just haven't been able to do it. He’s good with tech and smart, what if he figures out where you are? What if you get arrested for neglecting to report criminal behavior? Is that even a thing the police can do? As your finger hovers over the enter key you weigh the pros and cons. Pro, entertainment for the night. Con, might get arrested or something. Pro, you get to see the real deal in all his terrifying, terrifying glory. Con -

Your cat brushes up against you, you twitch, and to your slight horror you hear a

click

Shit. No better time than the present, you guess.

The screen of your laptop goes black and after a few seconds a bright green

Appears on the screen.

< A new one. Though I’d like to congratulate you now, finding the website in a sea of fakes is no small feat, I want to play a game first.>

He's definitely seen saw more than once.

<My two hands never stop moving but I dont work or play, I am immortal but I can still pass, I am valued but I dont exist - what am I?>

True to his name, he does like riddles. You are kind of disappointed he doesn't really say "riddle me this", you've always thought the phrase is funny. After a few moments of thinking you type out the answer to his question.

<Time, right?>

<Smart - It didn't even take you twenty seconds. >

In spite of yourself your lips upturn into a small smile at the praise.

<Thank you :)>

<Quite welcome. What's your name?>

Fear pooled in your chest and you felt your mouth begin to dry. Hopefully he meant usernames.

< Is ‘lucretiamy’ taken?>

<No. Lucretia - you're a girl or a sisters of mercy fan?>

Should you say? On one hand, lying will probably piss him off, that’s kind of his whole thing, on the other hand those school PSAs told you never to state your gender to any strangers online (and those are normal strangers, strangers that havent violently attacked and killed anyone in the past week). Plus, you've hung around this crowd online long enough to know a lot of them aren't really too eager to *not* be awful to trans people.

After a minute or so you’re still deciding and another message pops up.

<I can tell you the answer, its publicly available information really - instagram bio, but you wont answer?>

A shaky breath leaves your mouth as you type.

<Didnt figure you'd understand. Some of your supporters havent been very welcoming to me.>

< I cant accept that kind of behavior, cleaning up gotham doesnt just mean getting rid of politicians, it means getting rid of people like that too. If you dont give out your personal information there shouldnt be any negative attention, but if it anyone does talk to you about it here let me know. >

Ha. The man that just found your instagram account, your personal instagram account, in almost a minute without a username telling you not to give info to strangers online. You smiled a little bit. He seemed......nice, as nice as someone like him could be.

<Thank you, I mean it. I will.>

< :] . Play safe, have fun.>

The chat screen closed and a stream setup with a timer in the middle of the feed replaced it. A chat box on the left scrolled slowly down, two people were figuring out how to "riddler pill" their family members. You expected to have some time left before the stream, but the timer noted there was only about 3 minutes. Sitting and waiting made your nerves act up more than talking to the guy. You were expecting him to be strange, cut off, incellish. So far he seems shockingly...... fine. Then again, ted bundy was also a normal person, so was BTK, etc. Still some part of you didn’t register the fact that this man was dangerous.

You pulled out your sketchbook as you waited for the timer to hit 00:00 and sat down on your couch.

After a few minutes of sketching, a beep sounded off. You jumped and looked down at your computer to see a blurry feed of the masked man staring up at the camera.

When he spoke you leaned forward in your chair. His voice was gritty, filtered, but there was an underlying softness to it.

“Hey guys!”

He waved at the camera, excited.

“So - “

He clapped his hands together.

“I want to take a break from talking strategy today and welcome a few new users! Feel free to say hi in chat guys, introduce yourselves, get to know each other, I do want this to be a community.”

He seemed to wait for the fans responses.

Cautiously you typed out a “Hi, everybody!”

Responses ran through the chat, mostly reply hello's and smiley faces, until someone asked you a question.

<What brings you here, lucretia?>

You had to think for a moment before you started typing. Honest response - "I want to watch a serial killer livestream his murders for fun after work" or, the other one. The answer you've been coming to terms with for a while now.

The ladder would probably go over better.

< It irks me - ive only lived in this city for a few years and I dont have it bad, not by any stretch of the imagination, but the way politicians ignore every problem thats real, that effects people, in favor of culture war non issues makes me angry. You can drive down main and see it, people sleeping on the streets getting the cops called on them, getting told to move away from the rich people's sky scraper apartment buildings to poorer areas so no one has to look at them. Arkham asylum has the highest death rate of any prison in the country, its known for being a hell hole where they send people to die, the people who finance this city - run things, dont just let it exist they ship people like that joker guy there. No one does what he did without having serious mental health problems. They lock him up instead of trying to help him by getting him the care he needs. Same with drugs, same with housing crisis, same with muggings. It's gross. At least the riddler's doing something.>

You didnt really have a problem with the riddler, just how he went about things. The mayors son found him, no kid should have to go through that, but would the justice system have dealt with Mitchell correctly had he been caught and turned in the old fashioned way? Hell no. It was a grey area. Violence is never the answer except when it is, but can this much violence really be necessary? As the riddler read the chat his eyes lit up.

“Yes! It should get to you, it should make you angry and hurt, they see us everyday and they dont do anything. Every one of them - they dont do anything. Drugs are only a problem because the people on top are trying to make money instead of help us, if we just treated people like people we’d be better off. Thats why they dont get humanity. On the news when they all whine and cry about the poooooor dead mayor awww he was a great guy wasnt he? - NO. No. He doesnt treat us like people so we’ll repay the debt. We’ll leave every one of them hanging out the windows of their million dollar a month high rise apartments like livestock and see how they fucking like it.”

He was almost screaming now. You arent sure how the other people in his apartment block cant hear him through the walls. For the next hour and a half you watch him walk in circles, moving erratically like he’s in some sort of trance. Still he's strangely compelling, charismatic. Even the people in the chat are intimidating, all seemingly well read, smart, angry, the whole thing scares you.

Still, your bi - nightly routine becomes sitting down to watch his streams

(and his nightly routine becomes watching you).

Things went on as usual for the next few weeks. You went to work, sat around and served people drinks for a few hours, then you came home and watched his streams. After the first chat you two had you'd assumed there would be more, to your slight relief (and slight disappointment) no green text had popped up on your laptop screen in almost a month. You knew it was weird - sickening almost - but you hoped he at least thought about you from time to time. He was sort of cute when he wasn't screaming about politicians ruining his life, and he didn't do that as much as you thought he would. Most streams ended up being him interacting with the chat, asking for tips, talking, getting to know people. Tonight was one of those nights. To your dismay your boss had scheduled you for the early morning shift instead of the evening shift you usually had - that meant you'd have to miss stream. You logged on really quick to tell everyone that you were ok, you'd just have to go to bed early tonight. A few of your acquaintances (you wouldn't quit call them friends) typed out their condolences, but other than that your absence notice seemed to fly under the radar.

That is until your screen went black and a familiar question mark symbol showed up.

&lt;;?>

<Why do you have to miss stream?>

A small smile crept across your face.

<Aw, are you going to miss me?>

<You didn't answer my question.>

<My boss scheduled me for a morning shift without asking. He's rude that way - I have to be at work from 12 - 5 >:(. >

Behind his screen, the riddler giggled.

<Maybe we'll see each other.>

<How do you mean?>

<I usually go out for food after stream, I might see you around.>

The thought filled your stomach with butterflies, or something more violent than that - birds maybe.

<I hope you do.>

He took a while to type out his next message.

<;Really?>

<Yeah. I think it would be fun to meet you IRL. Talk on stream is usually centered on "the big event" - you cant be too personal or someone might figure out who you are. You're interesting, I want to know what kind of books and movies you like, If you own pets, shit like that. >

<Para social relationship fantasizing, I know, Im sorry. Lol.>

You quickly added.

It seemed like hours before he responded. You were almost considering closing out of the window - maybe you'd scared him (ha). After nearly five minutes a message popped up.

<Maybe we should meet. >

<Are you fr?>

&lt;Yes. >

As if it wasn't already too ominous for your liking, he sent another message.

<I'd like to get to know you too, maybe meet your cat.>

<I'll see you soon. Dont get too worried about it.>

<Goodbye.>

Oh god. "Your cat" meaning your one cat, a specific number and a specific animal. He could just be guessing to try and scare you, maybe you accidentally dropped the information in chat (you did love showing him off - he was a beaut, and your only son), but something tells you he gleaned the knowledge a different way. Something tells you he may be more interested in you than you first assumed.

Going to work after receiving that information was a struggle. You were a man broken into thirds. One part of you wondered if you were over reacting and making a big deal out of nothing - he knew you had a cat big deal that didnt mean he was stalking you. The second part was horrified, he was dangerous and pretty unstable, you knew that much. Now he was following you. The third part was the one that scared you the most. You liked it. You knew he was probably watching you, looking at you, he probably had been since you made an account on his website. You knew full well what he was doing and you liked it. You couldn't stop yourself from venturing further down, letting the image of him in his mask and his gloves slam you against a wall and choke you out, threaten you, maybe even draw blood. Your hand instinctually went for the waistband of your boxers but you stopped yourself, rubbing circles into the front of your thigh instead.

Fuuuuck, you had to work, you couldnt dwell on him right now.

You grabbed your keys and put on your leather combat boots and jacket (one of the small victories you had won over the short, sour little man who you were unfortunate enough to work under. He hated the boots and the jacket but you were a good worker so he couldnt fire you for adding edge to your stupid old fashioned baby blue diner outfit. You relished in this fact) and walked out the door.

People usually didn't bother you on your walks. You weren't rich, you weren't a girl walking home by herself, you looked just as aimless and tattered as the rest of the gothamites that hung around on the sidewalks at night. Black dyed hair with your roots showing, piercings, some tattoos. Still, you never wore headphones. The walk to work was short and you'd rather deal with city noise than risk getting jumped. Gotham was getting colder now, it was nearly november and the air had already chilled enough to make water freeze over. When you arrived at the diner and stepped inside it was a welcome relief from the cold. You greated your other coworker, jack, and walked into the locker room to put your things away. The locker looked like it was from the dump. Rusted in spots, bent, stained. The only redeeming quality it had was a thick metal door and a built in lock. The back door to the diner was always open in case someone wanted a smoke break (at least that's what your boss told you so he would have to admit the metal is fucked up and to get it all the way closed he has to pull with the full force of his 220 pounds. ), sometimes people came in and poked around looking for money.

You quickly grabbed your sketchbook and a few pens, shut the door to the locker, and walked out to stand at the till and wait for the next customer. An old man with weathered skin and a tattered jacket sat in the back booth and sipped on a cup of straight black coffee. Aside from him the place was a ghost town. As you leaned against the counter you started to sketch in the little black book. What would he look like in real life? Would he be average looking, unremarkable, the most beautiful person you'd ever seen, or would he be a girl? Pretty, long hair, short hair, eyeliner? You figured he would be an eyeliner person. Faces quickly filled the spread, all the same but different in some ways, all smiling. When there was no more room to draw possible faces you began to outline a large question mark in the middle of both pages. It was already almost half way through your shift now and there was still no one. Your boss said it got slow at night but you didn't think he meant this slow. You leaned over the counter and grabbed a butter knife, laying your hand flat on the table and slamming the tip to the cold linoleum visible in between your fingers.

Suddenly, the doorbell jingled.

You nearly jumped out of your skin. For a moment you forgot the greeting that had been beaten into your brain by a year and a half of customer service.

"Sorry sir, I was spaced out and you scared me. Feel free to sit anywhere, What can I get for you?"

He smiled wide when he spoke - messed with his hands too. Like he was a child standing in line to buy a new toy. Giddy.

"I'd love a latte and a slice of pie"

He paused, then quickly added -

"Please."

You grinned back at him, it was genuine - not a customer service obligatory. The guy was sort of cute, brown hair, glasses, nerdy in a good way - and he seemed happy. Most people drudged around the city like their pet dog had just died, dripping with sadness and anger. It wasn't like you couldn't understand it, you were sure you looked the same way walking to and from work, you just enjoyed it when other folks seemed like they were in a good mood. It cut through the miasmic despair that seemed to hang over gotham.

"Sure thing, ill bring that right out for you."

He giggled and you almost made a cooing noise in front of him - went awwww like you would when you saw a cat. You'd never heard anyone audibly go "tee hee" before, at least.......

Not outside of the riddler's streams.

You quickly walked over to the display in the counter and cut a slice of pie to put on a plate, then made the latte. As you watched the coffee drip into the cup you bounced up and down on the soles of your feet, this could go badly if you weren't actually right and the guy at that table had seen the news but you really didnt care that much. Youd just offer him a refund. You had a gut feeling now that the connection had been made in your mind and you weren't about to ignore it. If you let him leave without giving him a way to talk openly with you you'd kick yourself everyday for the rest of your 20s. When the frothed milk had settled on the top of the coffee you grabbed a stirring stick and traced out a <?> shape.

Letting out a sigh you turned around and walked over to where he was sitting. As you set the cup and the pie down the man looked up at you in confusion.

"Edible art?"

Your heart sank. He didn't get it, he wasnt the one.

"Yeah, sorry. I draw a lot and I get bored on the night shift - sometimes I make people coffee art. "

You plastered on a wide smile to hide your disappointment.

"No, no I like it. You're talented, I dont think I could manage to scratch out a smiley face in a latte."

"Thanks. Do you need anything else?"

"Nope! Thank you."

As you walked away you stiffled tears, grinding your nails into your palm as you tried not to sob in the middle of the diner. It was a bad habit, sure, but you couldn't really stop. On bad days - days when it was harder to get out of bed, to eat, something as small as running out of your favorite hand lotion could leave you messed up hyperventilating on the floor for hours.

No one came in for the rest of your shift. You doodled more riddler, but this time it was just him. Just the mask and the jacket and the gloves. The not - riddler - riddler looking guy left 10 minutes before you got to go home. With a small smile and a 20 dollar tip, he made his way out the door. Your insides still felt heavy, your organs dense, but the mans kindness still made you smile to yourself. You took the tip and tried to split it with jack, but he had already left when you checked the kitchen. Probably at a party - he was two years younger than you were and a freshman in college, his earnings from the diner were always financed back into house parties, movies with friends, beer. You liked him. He was kind of a stereotype but he was a great coworker, pleasant, responsible, funny. With some disappointment you realized you hadnt chatted much before he left. You were too focused on -

yeah, you two hadn't talked a lot.

Sadness colored your movement as you put on your jacket and your messenger bag. Tonight you guessed you would wear headphones, listen to some leathermouth and blow off some steam. Front door - locked. Lights - off. Kitchen stuff - off. Back door - locked. You walked out the back and started walking back to your apartment.

Something felt off - like someone was looking at you. You spun around as you walked, checking to make sure no one was following you, the street was empty. The music you were playing drowned out the noises of the street and the cars, the night air was cool on the back of your neck. You looked out at the street as you walked. As much as you sort of hated gotham, the lights were night. Neon signs, cars, apartments, all gave off light like fireflies when it got dark. Even though you did miss the way the night sky seemed to be endless, black and void where you grew up, you liked it here too. The light pollution made you feel like you weren't alone.

All at once you felt leather covering your mouth, someone pulling you into an alleyway, and the feeling of being clamped by two arms to a warm body. You bit the hand but it didnt do anything, you just tasted leather and heard the person behind you snicker. Screaming didn't do anything and your attacker was too strong for you to properly loosen the grip he had on you - after a while you didn't have enough energy to kick or shake around anymore.

They held you close to them as you both breathed heavily, his were deeper than yours even though he hadnt been the one fighting for the last five minutes, you both just stood there and panted for what felt like hours.

The person holding you smelled like an old laboratory. Dust, cleaner, bleach, chemical.

You tried to speak.

"What now?"

It just came out as a muffled, garbled "wha whww".

A deep voice whispered in your ear -

"My footfalls make no sound yet Im quite a big thing, some people like me, some people hate the uncertainty I bring, when im around people often give presents, sometimes im good and sometimes im menace.

What am I?"

Your eyes went wide and you smiled into his glove out of relief.

"Riddler?"

He giggled behind you.

"Silly, that's not the answer."

You thought about asking him to cut to the chase, let you go, but he'd probably get mad if you didn't amuse him and give him a response.

After a minute you had your answer.

"Surprises?"

"Correct!"

With that he released you, you stumbled away from him and tried to regain your balance. You took a deep breath in and slowly turned back around to look at the man in the mask.

Your gaze swept over him, taking everything in. Your spit on the palm of his left glove, the worn combat boots wet from the rain, the glasses.

The glasses. The same one's the man in the diner wore. Guess he underestimated how smart you were. As you locked eyes with him you realized he was smiling.

"What do you think?"

You felt the corners of your mouth quirk up as you answered.

"It's beautiful."

[pancakeke]

I wrote a bunch of paragraphs about nothing in particular again so here it is under a readmore so it doesn't take up space.

like 8 years ago when people used tumblr more via desktop browser than its app, I put a 3rd party metric tracker in my desktop theme that logged how people were referred to my blog. it also captured what pages of my blog people viewed.

at one point during this time I reblogged a piece of pixel art from a japanese artist. they came to my blog through their activity page, and then searched my blog in a couple different ways for the terms "ドット" and "ドット絵" ("dot" and "dot art", as in pixel art). I checked those search urls myself to see if they found anything but there were no results because I never used those terms or specifically tagged pixel art in any other way.

ever since then I've made an effort to tag all pixel art I reblog with the term "pixel art". that artist was probably hoping to find more art to check out and it bums me out that my tagging system wasn't thorough enough to help.

this is why I have my current specific tag system lol. it keeps evolving but having the ability to find stuff you're into without jumping through hoops is really handy. (the site-wide post and tag searches return sooo much bullshit. it's a slog sifting through thr noise whenever I use those to fill my queue due to the sheer amount of manga caps, polls, liveblogs, personal posts, and fics posted without readmores...)

if only the way to view all tags you've ever used still worked. I think it caps at 500 or 1000 now and is also chronological so the first 500 or whatever tags you ever used show up in the list. then there's a hard stop and it does not update as you delete posts or use that mass tag editor to remove certain tags for your blog entirely.

I went through my used tag list earlier this year to unify certain tags and remove tags that I stopped using in favor for other ones, but I only got like 400 tagged terms down the list. maybe downloading my blog data would show more. the trick I mentioned uses your desktop blog's archive page. the tags are in its code so you can use "inspect element" to view it. I remember scrolling a lot to load a bunch of posts on the page but cant remember if this was required or I just did it to see if I could access more tags.

it's formatted all fucked and hard to manage but you can copy and paste the long chunk of tags into one cell of a spreadsheet and then use Data options to split them into columns by commas (or whatever punctuation separates them, I forget). a wide list is a huge pain to view so from there you can click on a cell containing data, click ctrl+a to highlight all data in thr row, copy, then paste special as "transposed" to turn the copied row 90° so it pastes as a column. the spreadsheet will wide as fuck from the hundreds of columns so honestly its easier to paste the transposed data into a new tab and delete the original vs clicking in the column to the left of your transposed data and then pressing ctrl+ shift+right arrow to select all rows to the right, then deleting the extra rows.

if you're in Excel you may have to use the "delete rows" option from the "home" tab and then save the sheet using "file > save" (do NOT save via the save button on the upper left corner or ctrl+s). this returns the sheet to a manageable size for scrolling (plus reduces its file size). this piece of shit software usually retains the sheet width/length even after you delete hundreds of columns/rows unless you use this trick of deleting specifically via home tab + saving specifically through the save menu.

I got a round number of tags when I did this which makes me think there's a cutoff.

[fantasybooktournament]

the fantasy books i havent read in this poll

basically any work i havent read or read part of

good omens (i have seen the tv show) (tbh im not a gaiman fan, i dont vibe with most of his work)

cosmere (ive read 60 pages of mistborn) (i really have no interest tbh)

wheel of time (dont ask me how long i owned the first one lol)

the all souls trilogy (my mom wants me to read this)

house of the cerulean sea (my mom really REALLY wants me to read this) (i like his book how to be a normal person btw)

discworld (i have owned wee free men since i was in middle school RIP)

the witcher (my friend lent this to me. i never made it past the first page)

tawney man (i read robin hobbs first assassin book when i was like 14 and i think i liked it. her other books are on my tbr)

gentlemen bastards (i am not the intended audience for this series)

the broken earth (on my tbr!! and i own the fifth season!!)

the first law (i cant even remember the name of this series)

mercy thomas (on my tbr cause i need more urban fantasy)

the bear and the nightingale (dnf for me, which i found surprising)

lightbringer (ive heard good things but its never caught my attention)

dragonriders (my mom owns them all)

the rivers of london (i have no idea about this one ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

prince of thorns (i think i used to have a mutual with this url .. . )

the daevabad trilogy (on my tbr!!)

the green bone saga (dnf cause im not the target audience)

the goblin emperor (apparently this is good enough to challenge piranesi soooo i might add it to my tbr)

chronicle of unhewn throne (again, no idea)

valdemar (mercedes lackey has been on my list forever. another author my mom wants me to read)

between earth and sky (on my tbr!!)

criers war ( ¯\_(ツ)_/¯)

among others (on my tbr!!)

dead jinn universe (on my tbr!!)

the jasmine throne (i have this on hold!!)

the traitor of baru cormorant (i have to do more research before i decide if it goes on my tbr)

the raven tower (on my tbr!!! my friend highly recommends it!!)

the grace of kings (i am intrigued by this one)

shades of milk and honey (newly on my radar)

a land fit for heroes (no interest)

witchmark (on my tbr!! ive heard many many good things!!)

tailchasers song (no interest)

the queen of tearling (i got this as a gift as a teen . . . i think i read part of it??? i don't remember it at all tho)

miss peregrines home for peculiar children (i started this twice as a kid when it was super popular. never kept my attention)

children of blood and bone (another dnf for me, rather recently actually!)

sabriel (i started this when i was younger but never finished)

three dark crowns (i like blakes books annadressed in blood and antigoddess!)

seraphina (i don't have any desire to read this)

mirror visitor (on my tbr!!)

we hunt the flames (on my tbr!!)

six crimson cranes (on my tbr!!)

the gilded ones (on my tbr!!)

akata witch (on my tbr!! i liked her novella, binti!!)

the naming (a friend i had growing up loved this book)

iskari (i have no feelings on this)

kaikeyi (this was a new book to me, so i need to look into it more but im intrigued!!)

a song of wraiths and ruin (newly added to my tbr)

book of tea (on my tbr!!)

blood heir (based on the comments about this on the poll, i am no longer very interested)

labyrinth lost (this looks cool!)

the reader (another book i own i havent read)

[gaiatan]

What the heck is a ghost?

Ghosting is the act of making avatars for other users. This usually happens in the dressing room, a sub of the avatar talk thread (but sometimes you'll see it in the main AT thread or chatterbox)

Old farts (like me) might remember Tektek, which was similar in that you could make avis for people using its dream avatar simulator

but tektek is dead now! so what do you use?

why gaia's own avatar builder! now i cant say this thing is great....in fact a lot of people hate it but its all we got (unless you wanna build inside the normal avatar function) you can also change its layout with gaiaupgrade if you have it

At the top you'll see the Ghost? button, this lets you open a lil box you can type in someone's Ghost ID (the numbers on your profile url are your id) or their username (new-ish feature!) and then BAM you have their lil avatar (provided they have ghosting turned on, remember if you're asking for a ghost to make sure its on! or to let someone know that its not on if you want to ghost them and theyre asking for them)

there's three inventory options from here

Item DB: this is every SINGLE item that is on gaia and in the avatar builder, this does include items you cannot get as they've either never been released or are limited to like...one person and whoever they give them out to (so good luck if you're using this as an actual way to find new items)

My Inventory: this is items YOU own, this will be the only other option if you are not actively ghosting someone (which means the default avi will be you) this could be a good way to find items you know that the person you're ghosting doesnt have

Ghost User Inventory: this will only show up once you're actively ghosting someone, make sure to check you're on this if they request to ONLY use their own items! now you can see every item they own! (provided its for the base they're currently using, ie you wont see any paw items for human bases)

You finished the ghost now what?

navigate to the bbc code area, pick the option that fits their base and then copy and paste the code into a reply in the thread you're showing the ghost off to. mind you the image only is hosted for a limited time (the list will always be there) so if you need to keep the image you might want to save it somewhere!

How do i ask for a ghost?

You want a new avatar but you're stumped, maybe you really want to cosplay your oc or a character but you're stuck! or maybe you have a challenge for someone!

You have two main options

make a new thread: go to the board of your choice, usually the dressing room but hey if you wanna post in CB go ahead. state what you're looking for, if you want it to be strictly your own items or not (and if not if you have a budget or not), and as many details as you want. dont care? tell em to go nuts. have extremely specific needs and hate most avis people make? give htem as much info as you can and try to provide previous avis if you can (or avis you're inspired by)

you can also tack this onto your closet thread if youve made one (or whatever fitting thread if you're hosting a contest or something)

or

look for someone's ghosting shop: these are threads that people will run where they ghost other people, usually for a fee (more on that in a second) or for free (they also might not be really stated to be a shop they might just wanna ghost you or its a ghost for ghost thread)

I can get paid?

Ya sure can! and you can pay others as well! How much you pay is really...up to you as there's not really a set price on what people pay for ghosts. I've gotten anything from the mithril coins, a couple grand, to nearly 100k for avatars. you also can send wishlist items, items you dont want (some people ghost to get rid of items), just the tipping button (which i believe goes up to 1k?), to gcash, and even art

you also...dont have to. some people do ghosts for free

now go out there and haunt people i mean make avis for them or get avis made for you

[katkafe]

ok i have a couple really disorganized thoughts after that battle, so i just wanna talk about the stepmother and a little bit about pinnochi-crow. very lengthy post

i don’t think this is too much of a reach, but i’m really getting the feeling that pinocchi-crow is (was?) whatever the original sleeping beauty’s version of diablo is. it’s role in the last battle has me tempted to figure out what specific fairy tale it comes from. i’ve honestly never read the original or the brothers grimm version and i’m not sure if the evil fairy godmother even has a familiar in those, and ik diablo is actually a raven, but we already know that the stepmother is probably also the evil fairy from rosamund’s story. as far as i’m aware there’s no version of the evil stepmother in cinderella that has a crow or raven. we also know she’s probably the evil queen from snow white (being an amalgam of all the evil fairy tale stepmothers), though i can’t find anything about any earlier versions of her that have a raven or a crow. BUT there are versions of the story where the evil queen is snow white’s birthmother, and she’s not a fairy in any version of the story, but she IS a witch, and as brennan (as cinderella, i believe) has told us, some witches are also in league with the fairies.

now that brings me to the cannibalism. we all know about the stepmother eating her daughters in order to gain more power, which the evil queen also attempted to do, she wanted to eat snow white’s heart in order to achieve immortality. someone, i cant remember their url, brought up a grimm’s fairy tale called the juniper tree, which has a good chunk of cannibalism and a few minor parallels to snow white. i read it recently (and wrote a shitty summary that i might post if i remember) and i cant stop thinking about it honestly. in the juniper tree’s case, the stepmother cooks her stepson into a stew, and her husband eats all of it. since this is a grimm’s fairy tale, the story obviously has many religious connotations, so there is speculation that the stepmother is derivative of the devil, but she is not a fairy or a witch or anything magical at all, but while i was reading about it, i saw that there are versions where the devil, in some versions, “the evil one”, either possessed her or influenced her into killing her son. so, based on this, if the juniper tree is involved, i think it’s possible that, if the stepmother is not literally the same person as this stepmother, then it’s likely that she is “the evil one”, and made the woman kill her stepson. i think this idea lines up pretty well with what we know of her so far, and also considering how she acts as a puppet master, literally and figuratively. that’s pretty much all i got. the juniper tree is my new favorite fairy tale now tho, so tysm whoever made that post.

[spikeinthepunch]

rebrand conflict

idk how to decide what is a good or bad decision in terms of like...wanting to rebrand. i wish i could count back to how long i have used "morrysillusion" overall, i dont have a specific date. but i know after the white/brown antelope/wolf fursona, i think i dropped "moreyytilatot"? i think i tried to just go by "morey" in some form (i recall "princemorry" url). and then i dropped the 'nisovinsillusion' url maybe in early 2016? but i also had the coffini url here for a good while after. i cant remember if i used morrysillusion outside of tumblr around that time so. idk...

and heres the thing-- i dont really feel disconnected from my username, its fine and i think its p cool. but also in my head i keep wanting to change it, and part of that is wanting to claim a super old username i have no bad associations with. and i think part of that is bc of all the ways i am trying to do the things i was denied through my younger years-- so i am just reliving a lot of nice things and recalling the vibes and online trend etc i had. but also like.... attitude? personality wise? i feel like im not reflecting that w my current "brand" so to speak. at the very least if i didnt change my username, i still dont feel like the current look is something i want. i think the urge on the username change is just an additional feeling to push away from what i have been under this name.

the username i keep wanting to fall back to is 'spikeinthepunch/spikedpunch' (had the short one on xboxlive and the long one on deviantart) which was a short lived username but has no negative relations to anything, and i wished i kept it for a bit longer. and its kind of an edgy username lol. but in my recent years of growing as an adult, moving out, and being my own person, i feel soooo different than how my accounts have been presenting me. i guess ive been like soft, simple, and stiff in presentation? i think i fell into this when i was thinking id keep doing art commissions etc in a "professional" way, and especially bc i was doing my CN internship around then and wanted to still look presentable for the industry when looking for jobs. and while i certainly would love to work in the creative industry potentially, i obviously dont need to keep up that Normal-er image, i never should have, but also at that age and time i didnt feel like i could be that way at all. i was far more nervous of people interpreting me badly, negatively, etc if i was more edgy or mature. i was young and not dealing with my issues and so fixated on trauma etc.

this is also lining up w my plans to rework my website too. and i think a lot of this feeling also comes along w my "mascot" who i think is lovely! but him being a "mascot" makes him.... very detached from me as a person. i havent had any sonas to relate to in almost over a year... and my mascot was never meant to be a sona, just a Guy to represent my vibe (the colors, aliens) and social media appearance. and i guess i dont like that vibe anymore. i havent even felt all too into the shift i made to Mikike just having a vague spacesuit either, i felt i was just forcing that in order to fit the simple minecraft skin format for readability. (if people were to draw my skin, making it plantigrade and less animal would be easier)

and of course an additional observation i have had in more recent times are manic episodes that make me uproot parts of my life and change a lot of stuff about my identity etc. it may not seem like that happens online but its bc i manage to hold back on changing things abt my online branding lol- but it often results in making sideblogs for whatever new fandom/media i attached to in my episode and irl changing my entire appearance to fit and much more (and promptly drop both in about a month or so- its why i have so many abandoned sideblogs). this is obviously the bigger issue bc its what makes it Very hard for me to not do this (n yes i am in a bit of an episode rn despite my medication so...). and shocker, so many of my username/url changes and failure to ever keep one long enough to form an identity is related to that as well! its a surprise i havent done it in years but it was the expectation to stay with one identity, one look, in order to be Normal and recognized in a professional way, and i dont like that.

making this post and dumping thoughts has me thinking on a solution. as i said i dont really feel detached from my username. but what i dont relate to the most now is the way i feel i have gotten stuck in presenting myself online, and as a "brand". i want to toss out my color scheme, my mascot, my outward attitude. i want to let myself actually present in a way i like and not in a way that feels "clean". when my wcrp got shut down i had to come to the idea of acceptance and letting go of things i cannot control. and the reality of what truly doesnt matter in terms of what people may think of me. that was a huge pressure left on me for YEARS thanks to 2014-16 tumblr mindset and it is so so much harder to break esp if you want to try and be a creator and build an audience. i felt like i had become aware of this, and i have, but i didnt really click the fact that i wasnt into my current online presence bc i was still living with a piece of that era.. the fear of getting popular and being 'called out' for something for years ago, that wasnt even serious or bad, feeling like i was stepping carefully everywhere even when nothing was wrong. this doesnt entirely tie to WHY i want to do all the above. its just an observation on one of the things that hold me back too. just staying the same and staying safe. i hardly ever post, and while its something i chose to do its also a 'bonus' to not giving people much things to read off of me and assume from too.

this is getting too long and i think i have my point. idk what im gonna do but im thinking a lot abt how i should take control of my online life.

[isabelguerra]

ok disclaimers: i was not personally involved in the parastucking this is mostly stuff i remember from lurking in both fandoms around 2012 and therefore the details or timelines may be inaccurate because it's 2023 and 2012 was 11 years ago what the sodding fuck

but basically im sure you know that there used to be homestuck references in paranatural (ex. GENUINE DISTRESS!), and that zack morrison did the first and last comics of paradox space as well as made some merch for hussie and also parts of [s] game over (i.e. they used to talk)

back when comments were open on pnat's site, it was clear from reading comments that there was a lot of overlap b/w hamsteak fans and paranatural fans

(And i guess earthbound fans too come to think of it, the overlap pipeline was like earthbound --> homestuck --> paranatural --> undertale coming later in 2015.)

i can confirm the above pipeline worked for me at least because that was the exact order i discovered all of these in

there were also percy jackson references here and there because i specifically remember someone saying "move over jason grace there's a new weatherboy in town" somewhere around isaac revealing he had lightning powers and there definitely was a paranatural percy jackson au but that's neither here nor theer)

so naturally if you look at really old blogs (think fyeahparanatural which mercifully is still up) you find a lot of little crossovers here and there but relevant to the purposes of ur au is that a lot of people drew characters in their god tiers (there was never like, a consensus on who got what god tier everyone seemed to have a diff take on it)

idk how many of these artists are still active in the community let alone tumblr itself but assuming the blogs aren't deactivated you could shoot them an ask or two and see if they respond

what sucks is that there used to be a paranatural tumblr that was specifically dedicated to crossovers and they for SURE had documented all homestuck crossovers but i can't remember the url and i have no guarantee that's even still up but if someone has that PLEASE GIVE US THE URL

there also might've been parastuck stuff on deviantart just going off the timeline of homestuck and paranatural being popular at the same time around like 2011-2013 but i'm not super familiar with that content if it exists (i'll look into it tho seeing as i've recently been trying to track down bobby pendragon content on deviantart for a completely diff fandom)

rn i'm just opening tabs like a madman trying to catalogue every piece of fanart or lore that i can find while woozy from loss of blood thanks 4 ur time

YES YESSSSSSSS I REMEMBER THE MORRISON PARADOX SPACE COMICS!!!!!!!!!!!!! i never played earthbound but watching everything springing from the bloated corpse of homestuck and into mainstream culture is fucking crazy. so many people dont even know. i talked with someone literally yesterday about radiation and they were like TOBY FOX WAS IN HOMESTUCK???? the look on her face when i showed her [S] Wake and megalovania turned on was priceless.

and yeah tbh its kinda sad seeing how many ‘staple’ pnat blogs just arent around anymore. thank god for fyeahparanatural keeping the blog up as an archive. i cant believe i never knew they had a homestuck tag. looking through it for the first time has some REALLY interesting results. i saw dunacht’s puppet x lil cal fanart. i saw a god tier max that turned his hat into the aspect color scheme. i saw spender in sock garters. i saw the jang as the midnight crew. i saw spender in sock garters. hey did you know what comic turns 13 this year

[mordcore]

i never rly understood the "write a letter to your mom/past self/etc" exercise until this week i realized i would really like the option to say some things to an old former friend i cant talk to anymore. three years ago they said to stop contacting them but then i deleted my tumblr and remade with a new username so its highly unlikely that even if they ever wanted to talk again that they ever could. i vaguely remember their old tumblr url but I Will Not Check because thats a bad idea™.

and i would really like to say some things to them. sometimes nice things. sometimes mean things. sometimes even mature and nuanced things. sometimes i imagine us talking in some kinda afterlife but then i get distracted by how unrealistic that scenario is or lack of worldbuilding of said afterlife (have i mentioned im bad at daydreaming?)

maybe writing a letter (or multiple letters!) works a little better to keep me focused on The Things I Want To Say

[the-halfling-prince]

fuck it, more Harlow Tumblr but post series

🐲 daily-dragon-facts

Did you know:

Amber-Winged Wyverns are more likely to be colorblind than any other dragon!

🐈 housecat-lookin-mf

Okay now I kinda wanna know how we know this. Did someone ask them lol

🐲 daily-dragon-facts

Yes.

#Dont question me again. #daily dragon facts

19 notes

🪕 battlebard

Callout post for @ fish-and-fear-monger

He's kinda cringe.

🔪 fish-and-fear-monger Follow

Me: Not another call-out post... Me: Oh it's just my loser sister

🪕 battlebard

ANOTHER???

#we love a problematic king? #Top Ten leaders of our archipelago. Yikes.

36 notes

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Guys help I tripped on my cape today my gf thinks I'm a loser

🏹 careless-whisper

Sorry dude my gf has thought I was a loser since we met I can't help you

📜 mari-the-mari-lwyd

Skill issue I'm the coolest bitch my gf knows.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

MARI-ELIE???????

#at this point I need to change my URL to not just be my name because #people I know IRL keep finding my fucking tumblr #like y'all remember the uhhh my dad incident #anyway hey mari I hope u forgot about me tripping over my cape today

482 notes

🗡️ best-alavanikian-royalty

Propaganda:

Harlow: She's literally the king... Enough said.

Mari-Elie: She may not be an heir, or a chief, or a king... But consider: She's cooler than you. And also the main advisor to the king if that counts for anything.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

I can't believe this is even a competition. Guys. Mari-Elie sweep or I'm stepping down as ruler.

#marisweep

1264 notes

😎 deactivated10451218

Is it just me or is the king kinda... you know... fruity?? Like have you seen the way she looks at Advisor Jonson....

👩🏻‍🦰 just-daliah

I can't believe I have to say this but it's super not cool to speculate the sexualities of real people.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Yeah I'm fruity✌️

🐄 trickstercow

Seriously? Someone on this Odin forsaken website basically forced the king to out herself? Yikes.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Guys what.

⚔️ harlow-stormrage

Can't come out when you were never in. Rainbow attack 🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🏳️‍🌈🌈🌈

🐅 that-one-ginger-kid

Happy 3 years to this fuckin post 🤦

#like ngl I was confused when the situation first happened and everyone talked about it because I #deadass thought everyone knew???? #anyway Happy 'cant believe the king got outed' 'rainbow attack' day #fuck dude #tumblr holidays

8463 notes

📜 chief-stormrage

Everyone, I would like to officially announce my retirement as Chief of Drakenvel. The new chief is the talented Hagen Freyrson, and I hope you all treat him with respect.

🐈 housecat-lookin-mf

Thanks, sir. Anyway...

@ best-alavenikian-royalty any way we can add me to the polls?

#theres no way I'm beating marielie jonson but it's worth a shot

756 notes

📜 mari-the-mari-lwyd

Guys reminder that the Royal Alavenikian Library is open to everyone stop trying to sneak in you look dumb.

📔 drakenvellian-public-library

Nooo dude you're gonna put me out of a job.

📜 mari-the-mari-lwyd

Bro your island has five people and the only one who used the library lives here now if you still have that job now, I don't think it'll go away. Be fr.

🏹 careless-whisper

No because Inkwell Björnson has the best job security in alavenik, Harlow would sooner die than let the library close down 😂

#also Drakenvel has way more then five people. There's like... ten

85 notes

🪕 battlebard

"The average Alavenikian has one dragon" is a statistical error. The average Alavenikian has no dragons. Dragons Harlow, the king of the UnNamed Kingdom who befriends a hundred dragons daily is an outlier adn should not have been counted.

790278 notes

🍂 zamenwellwellwell

I wish I could get a cute farmer to date me :(

🐅 that-one-ginger-kid

Me too...

🐄 trickstercow

Hey

🐅 that-one-ginger-kid

Omg cute farmer girl

🍂 zamenwellwellwell

GET YOUR OWN POST

#the straights have hijacked my post :( #and by the straights I mean specifically those two. #'that one ginger kid' who even are you????? #... Actually that sounds disrespectful sorry Tiger sir. #sorry about that time you got tortured by that guy. Hope you and your farmer gf are happy.

23 notes

[cvrnvl]

new tumblr because i cant fuckin remember my old password to my old email. i see some of familiar URLs and im like wow u guys never went to therapy all these years..

[delicourse]

do you have any tips for someone just starting to post their art? what platform do you prefer?

this is hard to answer since i started out a while ago when these platforms worked a bit different! it also depends on what you want as an online artist. community? commission opportunities? different sites will have different things to offer there. since i’ve been on tumblr for the longest time, and only started with twitter once tumblr goofed up, those are the only sites i can compare for now.

so a quick summary; tumblr being dead is kinda true. i have well over 17k followers but you wouldn’t be able to tell based on post engagement. but! if you do manage to get some traction here i find it to be the best site to just chill on. people are very open and unfiltered with art comments through tags, and asks are also common if you seem open to them! tumblr used to be THE site for fanartists imho, both for fun social hangout and for earning money. while things dont “trend” anymore, i do think people still sometimes go through tags of fandoms they care about. no clue how one would manage as an original content artist though.

twitter is where i get new audiences and actually grow. majority of my commission inquiries are from there too. overall its a great place where using trending tags work well! tags relevant to who u are(there are specific tags for promoting minority artists for example!) tend to actually get a lot of likes/retweets/follows from other artists! i rarely ever partake (i should but i always feel so embarrassed lol), but based on the few times i have gotten in with the hip trends, they DO work. also the comments and social interaction feel WAY more public - GREAT if you like feeling like a PR agent! - but kinda stressful if you’re socially anxious(cringe) like me. also other artists tend to be way more likely to interact with you too, so building connections is easier! (even i’ve had artists in my DMs on twitter, an impressive feat considering that im extremely unsociable online. it makes me blush!!!)

the general advice most people give is to get artist friends/connections and support them and be supported in return and grow together. seems great and also healthy probably, the whole “social community” thing! but i never talk to people ever so i just posted real hard and it worked, it just takes some time. also be prepared; nobody blows up in a month. be patient and have fun, post art for the hell of it. be consistent! i grow most when i post daily or weekly! also; post art on many sites. really. there isnt anything to lose honestly. i limit myself to two only because if i see another notification im gonna lose it❤️

anyway good luck!!

[deanwwinchester]

You all changed your urls and that is cool but I don't remember them😂

[mitchmarner]

october is a rough month because everyone changes to a random halloween url and i don’t know who literally anyone is until november, where i’ll know my mutuals for approximately one month until everyone changes again for christmas urls

[cindy-clawford]

Jonsa AUs as far as the eye can see

[datsderbunnyblog]

did u change ur url recently...? because the content u blog about seems familiar but i just.. cant remember following u haha

I've never changed my url actually, I often get waves of new followers from one of my old Discworld posts circulating again so maybe that was it? I used to be a fairly dedicated Discworld blog but now I just post anything that catches my eye lmao