#i could write more about Jon's perspective but since the show mostly follows him i think his is clear enough

[gammija]

Yaaay my favourite season 😊 time to be hurt again! @a-mag-a-day

in s4 i love how everything sucks, and everyones at each others throats, but there's no clear saboteur between our protagonists; they're all making choices which are reasonable from their perspective, even if it hurts the people around them

like here, of course Jon deserves to be greeted by someone who's happy to see him alive - he just woke up from a fucking 6-month long coma, for gods sake! But instead of a hug or even a "glad you're back," what he gets is Tim dead, Daisy gone, Martin isn't there, Basira 'wants to talk later' about if she's disappointed he's back, and Georgie can't get out of the room fast enough. And all his clothes are gone. what the hell?

but at the same time, neither Basira nor Georgie owe it to Jon to be his friend. The last we heard of Georgie, she was telling Jon that he needed people around him, that she wanted to help him, that he didn't need to move out, that she didn't want him to cut her off. That was over 20 episodes ago!

Did he talk to her at all in the meantime, (inbetween kidnappings, to be fair, he did have other things on his mind, but Georgie's only sources are Melanie and Jon himself, and how much do you want to bet that they both exaggerated Jon's role in any of the situations they found themselves in)? She still visits him in hospital, she's there when tape recorders suddenly appear, she's there as he wakes up -

and the first thing he does is to refuse to even be looked at by a nurse, deny that he needs any help, refuses to admit that there might be anything worrying about being 'fine' after 6 months of being basically dead. Georgie has experience with someone walking around when they're supposed to be dead, and it killed her best friend and scarred her for life. so maybe she chooses here to get a bit of distance from Jon, for her own safety

Basira had some friendly interactions with him, but she was literally investigating him for murder and trying to keep him from fleeing the country. Then she's made into a hostage, goes to the Unknowing, barely makes it out alive of an exploding building, only to find that she's the sole survivor, if you don't count the body that's apparently not braindead.

It looks like Jon, but how can you be sure? She's done her research, it wouldn't be the first time the Stranger replaced someone. Melanie is getting more violent by the day, and Martin has decided that apparently it's a good idea now to work together with the evil manager. They're constantly under threat by evil cults and living meat, basically living out of the Archives. And Daisy, her partner of years and years, her solid point, is gone. So when the body that looks like Jon suddenly starts to breath again after being visited by an End Avatar, priority #1 is finding out how big of a threat he is, with 'worrying about Jon's emotional state' a far second

[oonajaeadira]

The Mandalorian Tarot: Major Arcana

If you’re following me, you know this is a Mandalorian obsessive account. I love the man, I love the show, I write a Mando-fando that is all about pining and touch. I tend to go all in when I have an interest. 

Another one of my interests? Tarot. A friend challenged me to Mandalorify the major arcana. And because Jon and Dave know their stuff and are good with archetypes (which is all tarot really is), it was an easy fit.

YOU GOT MANDO IN MY TAROT. YOU GOT TAROT IN MY MANDO. TWO GREAT TASTES THAT TASTE GREAT TOGETHER.

But. I can’t draw, so I’ve dreamed them in words and included the Rider-Waite-Smith deck illustrations that I would riff on if I could.

READY? LET’S PLAY.

(All tarot illustrations by Pamela Colman Smith. All Mandalorian images property of Star Wars/Disney.)

UPDATE! @heathenashtattoos​ has taken up where I cannot and is making these cards a reality! I will post them individually and come back to link them to this post as we go.

0 THE FOOL = THE MANDALORIAN / IT IS MADE! --->

The story of the tarot is the Fool’s journey, the arc of becoming. So it makes sense to me that Din would be the fool. Fits even better, since he has tremendous Fool energy in his himbo tendencies, just rushing forward into situations without a lot of planning--he’ll deal with it when he’s in it--ready to rely on others to show him the way or guide/help him to the next step.

If I could draw: Din on the cliff, with his jetpack on, meaning he has no fear of falling. Instead of the bindle-stick the Fool carries, he’d have his pulse rifle slung over his shoulder. Instead of the dog nipping at his heels, Grogu. And, of course, the landscape would be Tatooine/Navaro-esque.

~~~

1 THE MAGICIAN = LUKE SKYWALKER , IT IS MADE! --->

The Magician is someone who is still learning to bend the laws of magic/the Universe, but very adept with their tools. Since Luke is only a few years into his Jedi training at this time, he makes a pretty good Magician.

If I could draw: Luke in his blacks, holding up his lightsaber. The Jedi symbol would replace the infinity sign. 

***

2 THE HIGH PRIESTESS = AHSOKA TANO / IT IS MADE! -->

High Priestess is further along the path of her magic than Magician, and her knowledge is more intuitive, her skills more effortless. Where the Magician is still learning the balance of light and dark, the High Priestess knows the value and pitfalls of both. It was always going to be Ahsoka.

If I could draw: Ahsoka sitting cross-legged in meditation mode, but with eyes open and a knowing smile. Instead of two pillars, she holds her lightsabers up and parallel to each other.

***

3 THE EMPRESS = PELI MOTTO / IT IS MADE! -->

The Empress is the mother figure, the energy in the universe that provides all that is needed and embodies the energy of creation. I can see the argument for Omera being the Empress--mostly because she is a mom and she’s soft and a lot of people see the Empress as a soft female figure, I get it. (And if I were to do a minor arcana, girl would show up as one of the Queens for sure.) But in the end, I gave it to Peli because she’s a recurring character, more relevant in his story, and if Din is the Fool, Peli is more an Empress to him. She’s able to be the provider of his particular needs; services to his ship to get him up flying, contact and location information, and she’s always willing to care for Grogu whenever she gets the chance.

If I could draw: Peli sitting in the dock, against the R4 unit, holding aloft a spanner and surrounded by her pit droids.

***

4 THE EMPEROR = BOBA FETT / IT IS MADE! -->

The Emperor is all about authority. And all I gotta say about Boba is BIG DICK ENERGY.

If I could draw: Just put him on the Jabba throne and let him lounge like a badass.

~~~

5 THE HIEROPHANT = THE ARMORER / IT IS MADE! -->

The Hierophant is the keeper of traditions and a spiritual guide. As the leader of the covert and keeper of the Way, The Armorer fits.

If I could draw: The Armorer, framed by her forge, holding aloft her tools, with Mandalorian acolytes. Instead of the crossed keys at the bottom, let’s just have a mythosaur skull.

***

6 THE LOVERS = FROG LADY AND FROG HUSBAND

This should be obvious and I will fight anyone who says it isn’t the right thing to do. I will die for this.

If I could draw: I would actually depart from the Smith depiction and just draw them embracing or holding each other by the arms and staring into each others’ eyes. Some kind of glowing background? Maybe the egg tank?

***

7 THE CHARIOT = THE MUDHORN

Oh. You thought I was going to say the Razor Crest, didn’t you. Don’t worry, I have plans for our beloved craft, but it ain’t here. The Chariot can be a ride, yes, but it’s about victory. Sometimes it’s about the victory over your inner “beastly” natures. To travel to the next phase in the journey, the Fool must take on the beasts that drive the Chariot and claim dominance over them, and when he does, they will carry him to the next level. Since it’s the victory of the beastly mudhorn that brings Din to his bond with Grogu and becomes his signet, Mudhorn for the win.

If I could draw: Again, I’d probably play on Smith’s imagery, put the charging mudhorn in the middle, and replace the rams with Din on his knees brandishing the vibroblade and Grogu in his pram with his Force hand up.

***

8 STRENGTH = CARA DUNE

Don’t come at me about including Cara. I am glad Gina got shown the door and I lose no love on that bigot. But. Cara is not Gina and to cut her out is to cut out Jon and Dave’s creation and I won’t do it.  I actually love her a lot--she’s got her flaws, but she’s sassy and strong and solid, and I would happily accept a piggyback ride from her any day. She’s also a major player in Din’s story and deserves a spot in it. Strength comes after the Chariot--once you’ve conquered the beast within, you have confident dominion over it and it becomes a companion or a tool for your use. Cara is one with her toughness, she’s used it to do some good and bad shit in her past, and she continues to wield it effortlessly and fearlessly. She is absolutely this card.

If I could draw: I would put her maybe sitting on top of the downed ATST. I’d replace the infinity symbol over her head with the one on her cheek (Rebel Alliance).

~~~

9 THE HERMIT = KUIIL

The Hermit is a loner, yes, but in his solitude he looks within, learns from all he’s been through, and becomes wise. He holds aloft a light of wisdom and truth. This was always going to be Kuiil.

If I could drawn: Just our buddy, looking out over the Arvala-7 landscape, holding aloft an in-universe working lamp. No need to get fancy. He would want it to stay simple.

***

10  THE WHEEL OF FORTUNE = IMPERIAL SYMBOL AND STORM TROOPERS

The Wheel is fate. You win some, you lose some. Sometimes you’re on top, and sometimes the Wheel crushes you beneath it. You are helpless to its roll and where you’ll land. Storm Troopers are such a sad bunch. They are keepers of Imperial Law on the ground. On a good day, they capture a Rebel or hold off an attack. On a bad day, their Moff just blasts them to make an example.

If I could draw: The wheel would just be the Imperial symbol and there’d be Troopers on and under it. Maybe the one on top is just standing there, looking authoritative. The one underneath has been blasted. Some Wheels have two more figures--one on each side--and I’d add those too. The one on the down-going side would be falling, arms flailing, blaster shooting (if only sound were available, there’d be a Whilhelm scream), and the one on the up-going side would just be dangling by one arm, along for the ride.

***

11 JUSTICE = COBB VANTH

Well, it just feels right to make the Marshal into Justice. But it’s not just a literal translation of making sure the right thing gets done and the bad guys are punished. Justice is about wiping away emotion and making decisions with bare truth, looking at every side of the situation and understanding what is really there. And I think Cobb fits this well. He doesn’t want to give up his armor because of what it means for the protection of his people. But he’s willing to consider it, if there’s another way he can protect them. Emotionally, he doesn’t want to deal with the Tusken Raiders, but he does it because he can see it’s the best course of action. He flies into battle with the Krayt Dragon. He gives up his armor without a fight. He makes a fair trade and sees the balance in it because he walks away from the emotion and chooses the best course of action. Cobb Vanth for Justice, errybody.

If I could draw: Cobb in the Fett armor, but with the helmet at his feet. In one hand, a bottle of spotchka. In the other, the Tusken mushroom drinky thing; he’s holding them with equal balance.

***

12 THE HANGED MAN = MIGS MAYFELD

The Hanged Man is not just about a dude who’s hanging upside down. (If that was the case, I would have just gone with Gor Koresh and called it a day.) Hanged Man is about changing your perspective to see things in a new way so you can grow. Many times, this growth also requires sacrifice. Over the two episodes we see Mayfeld, we know he goes from Imperial sharp shooter, to traumatized deserter, to merc, prisoner, and exonerated friend. He’s seen some shit, given up a lot, and he’s willing to see how he can be a help to others and find redemption for himself.

If I could draw: Hear me out. Take the image of Mayfeld hanging upside down from the Crest hatch into the prison ship. Mirror that above with an image of him in his Imperial Ground Transport gear. Flip it all upside down so bad Mayfeld up top, good Mayfeld on bottom, images mirrored but inverted, hence “looking at things a new way and getting everything a little topsy-turvey.”

~~~

13 DEATH = MOFF GIDEON

Death is about transformation, so it’s not always the most sinister card. But Death does not discriminate. It comes for us all, constantly stalking, and it will strike you down to serve its needs. You need to face Death to get to your redemption. But really, Gideon is our big baddie here, so why the hell not.

If I could draw: I would forgo the Smith illustration and go for the Marseilles tradition on this one. Gideon and the Darksaber replaces Death and the scythe.

*** 

14 TEMPERANCE = IG-11

Temperance is the transformation that comes after Death. Once Death has chopped your physical being into pieces with his scythe, Temperance is there to take all your pieces and put them back together into something new and better. It’s also a card that asks you to re-evaluate your priorities and see if you can find better motivations than you previously had. IG’s death and reprogramming speak loudly to me on this.

If I could draw: IG pouring the tea.

***

15 THE DEVIL = THE CLIENT

Here’s another baddie card that’s all about your worst faults, about excess and giving into the stuff that will eventually kill your soul. The Client holds on hard to the Empire, doing whatever he’s ordered to do to be one of the top dogs. And in the end, it doesn’t matter. Gideon takes him down like he’s nothing.

If I could draw: The client, wearing his Empire bling, with chains around Doctor Pershing and a rough-looking Storm Trooper.

***

16 THE TOWER = THE RAZOR CREST

I don’t know about you, but Chapter 14 killed me. And not because the Dark Troopers flew away with Grogu. We all knew Din would never stop at getting him back. But when the Crest was destroyed, it was like someone punched me in the soft parts, and I made a lot of severely anguished noises. The Tower is the most tragic card in the tarot. It’s when forces beyond your control make a very big (and usually negative) impact in your life and everything changes. You are left to pick up the pieces and survive any way you can with the skills and resources you’ve been blessed with.

If I could draw: Just that moment of the ray hitting our beautiful Crest, just as it begins to break apart, maybe with Din, Boba, and Fennec watching in horror in the foreground.

~~~

17 THE STAR = GROGU

The Star is hope. It comes after the biggest tragedy in the deck to tell you that not all is lost. There is always something there to live for. C’mon, kids. In this series, there was only one choice.

If I could draw: Just Grogu. Maybe drinking his soup. Or maybe he’s levitating his metal ball overhead, reaching up to it with a smile on his face. *coos*

***

18 THE MOON = BO KATAN KRYZE

We all like Bo Katan, sure. But remember my Clone Wars/Rebels fiends, she was Death Watch, and they were terrorists. She sided with Maul to take over Mandalore. Sure, she’s come a long way and her path is a bit more honorable now, but she’s got an agenda, which makes her hard to trust. Since the Moon is about more feminine energies and has themes of illusion and deception--things look great in the moonlight, but maybe not as they really are--Bo Katan’s our girl.

If I could draw: Head and shoulders profile, double-imaged so you see her face, but her Nite Owl helmet superimposed in profile over it. Nite Owl signet on the bottom. Possibly flanked by her two Nite Owl cronies.

***

19 THE SUN = GREEF KARGA

Everything's sunny when Greef’s around! He’s the feel-good gramps that’s going to make any situation A-Ok! If you’ve got a problem, Greef can sort it out...or he knows someone who can! The sun is always gonna shine on you and take you back.

If I could draw: Just Greef smiling and being cheesy with the halo of the sun around him. 

***

20 JUDGEMENT = FENNEC SHAND

This card traditionally shows the resurrected rising from the grave, ready to be judged. Fennec’s got a lot to answer for in her life, but she is being given a second chance, and my number one girl crush is going to do new and wonderful badass things with it.

If I could draw: I’d either just show her opening her gut pocket to show her new works, all full of aura, with her looking down at it reverently. OR I might do a scene of her being rescued by Boba.

~~~

21 THE WORLD = THE HELMET

Din’s helmet is the world he lives in. But it’s also a symbol of The Way. The World represents completion, a wholeness of self and being, the end of the journey. And since Din is our Fool, his journey is an exploration of his morals and honor, what it means to walk the way of the Mandalore, and what the meaning of the helmet is for him. He may choose ultimately to keep it on and go all-in on Mandalorian-4-lyfe (Child of the Watch style), or he may understand that the helmet is just a symbol and the honor was in him all along; he can wear it or not wear it and it’s all the same.

If I could draw: The World usually depicts a circle or sphere of some kind, the symbol of perfect completion. The helmet is close enough, so it takes up the center. Traditionally, there are four symbols in the corners that give more meaning to The World, and I would replace them with The Razor Crest, Grogu, the Mudhorn Signet, and the pulse rifle or blaster. These represent his home, his foundling, his clan, and his religion, all of which make up more of the whole; what it means to him to be Mandalorian.

~~~~~~~~~~

Challenge accepted and faced. 

Adira dops her witchy mic….

[kaypeace21]

Hey Kay! I was wondering... I'm thinking of writing a Byler fic. Is there anything that's missing from the current fic library that you think would be good to see, in terms of tropes, characterisation, things to explore, etc? I would also appreciate hearing from your followers. Just any ideas that people would like to see in a fic.

yeah sure ...

1)We need more povs from Mike’s perspective. (Almost all are from Will’s pov - let’s mix it up sometimes)

Mike in canon is the pinning-gay -(overly romantic) whipped one , but we never see it. And he’s pretty much never written this way! Mike in s3 has 6 drawings from Will on his wall  (he kept them up since s1-for years- despite replacing the poster on the same wall). Has even caressed extra drawings of Will’s that he’s kept in his binder.  In s1 wrote a whole story for Will about defeating a monster and giving the king it’s  7 heads (cause Will rolled a 7 when the demogorgan attacked him.) And as a Star Wars fan he had his own character be given a medal by the king (like how leia gave the medal to Han for his heroism.) He attacked people for insulting Will. Literally hates apologizing -but is quick to do so for Will . Boy ran in the pouring rain twice for Will- disobeying cops, the government, and his parents to do so. He initiates every byler moment (arm thing, hand touch, ‘best thing i’ve ever done’, ‘crazy together, right?’, always asking Will “what’s wrong?” or “are you ok?” etc). And was upset at Will dancing with a girl + insecure about Will replacing him -after he moves away.

-but 90% of byler fanfics (don’t get me wrong some are good) are from Will’s pinning perspective. Also do people realize Mike is clearly the more romantic/ emotional open of the 2 while Will is clearly the more emotionally closed off/aloof one?  He loves Mike too- but he’s def less obvious about his feelings- based on how he behaves. Will rarely opens up to people (Mike being an exception). But, it’s never written that way (usually it’s the opposite).  

2) as a gay women all the reductive stereotypes annoy me. it’s obvious when fic writers try to have the gay romance be modeled after het romance- and try to make one into the ‘girl’/ ‘guy’. Duffers don’t stereotype  Mike or Will but a lot of fanfiction writers do in order to make the gay romance resemble a straight one more (canon character traits, be dammed). Please, stop pushing heterosexual dynamics on gay and lesbian couples and trying to make one “the girl” and “the guy”. It’s very offensive and innaccurate.

Because he’s taller and most people head canon him as bi they make Mike a jock (despite in canon having horrible aim and not being able to run as fast as the rest of the gang). And Will (since most see him as gay) is weak/ sucks at sports compared to mike...despite knowing how to use a bat, shoot a gun, and being able to tear castle byers apart with his bare hands . Also nothing in canon shows Will likes to wear makeup and dress in drag (but it’s a constant thing that i’ve heard come up or heard others mention). It would be fine if he wanted to express himself in such a way. And if it only came up in an occasional fic it wouldn’t be a big deal. But it’s such a common theme that comes up (despite no canon evidence) that in most cases it just screams ‘straight writers trying to make Will into “the girl”’.  Not to mention the huge emphasis of their height difference (shows this too). It can get annoying calling him “short” & “petite” (a term used for women) when will isn’t even the shortest guy member- and now his actor is way taller than gaten (dustin) a bit taller (I think?) than caleb (Lucas) and barely shorter than finn (Mike’s actor). But writers even in future fics write him as short...ok? ya’ll really can’t let go of making Will “the girl.” Cause ya’ll incorrectly equate shortness to femminity. It’s tiring. Some writers straight up say he’s “pretty “, “feminine” or “looks like a girl” 🙄

3) it’s not byler if it’s unrequited- stop tagging it as such

4) more emphasis on Will’s passions(art, writing, horror movies). Maybe in his upbringing with Lonnie.And jon being a good bro to him. Will’s Mental health issues maybe ?

5) mike is a socially awkward, clumsy, unathletic, (caring) science/sci-fi /D&D loving nerd. In au whatever- but mike is not a bro-y jock, or a cool bad boy. 😂 plus , more writer mike would be nice to see

6) headcanon him all you want -but at this point it’s pretty obvious (to me at least) Mike never loved el,and was just lying/confused/ projecting Will on her. And El is/was also confused and never loved mike.   so it would be nicer to see that instead of Mike just ‘falling out of love’ with her. Mike is gay. people say in s3 Will saying “a day free of girls” is gay coded but everyone ignores Mike in s3 saying “BOYS ONLY”. same energy. writers even threw in a telemarketing joke so Mike says in s3 “El? no. sorry not interested.” And Mike has more rainbow refs than Will.  Boy is clearly gay not bi (way too much evidence to talk about here) .  They even  compare mileven to ted/karen who “never loved each other.”   The  writers make fun of mileven constantly and say over and over it’s not actually romantic - (if you choose to read just 1 link read this one  and get with the program) . plus, most Bi dudes  wouldn’t stop being attracted to a girl the more fem she gets (and only be attracted to her when she looks like a “guy”(specifically their guy friend).which yes the characters in s1 said over and over again that El looked like a “boy”/“will”.  And then they have him Makeout with her while putting up a  drawing of said male bff on the wall (cause now she looks less like him) and so he needs to look at said bro, to stomach the makeout seshes/ and in an effort to transfer said romantic feelings from guy friend to gf. Then push his gf’s hands off himself during the kisses- sing to stop kissing, and  kiss to mostly show off how straight he is. And without said pic- not kiss back and just keep his eyes open and not reciprocate. Nor would they have Mike equate het romance to something he thinks he has to do as a part of growing up . Bi dudes consider falling for a girl as simply romance not a foreign idea that has to be done cause there’s no other option and that’s ‘just what old people do’. Mike claims el is the only girl he’s ever had feelings for - but like dustin said mileven is “bullshit “ (stancy parallel -where nancy was not in love but faking it). So mike’s never been into a girl and is also into Will... so...

7) it’s the 80s they can’t just be open/ have pda in public (you could have gotten k*lled or beaten severely.) And most of their friends/fam would not take it well initially. (I think jon, Karen , and steve/robin would take it well... but not most of the crew.) although they’d all prob come around eventually . -Takes me out of a fic to have such historical revisionism when everyone is just totally fine with byler and they’re out to the public/strangers.

but that’s just me. What about you guys?

[fuzzbuns]

Im in a bad mood because american education system is hell so im gonna ramble about stuff no one cares about for that sweet serotonin aka atsutodo* tho really just Mr Atsushi... Sir Joned arbuck-

*?... like i mean its lowkey atsutodo i will not front but realistically speaking im just gonna talk about thier relationship and whether you see it as platonic or not it is up to you but like just know in my minds eye MY GOD these bitches GAY.... good for them tho... good for them

I just legit don’t understand people who either think/ characterize atsushi as someone who is mean or doesn’t like todomatsu. Like the only person who legitimately should ever feel that way is totty but we will get there. like, i get not everyone stans atsushi and has been following him ever since that one tweet after ep 22 where he is shown baking a totty themed meal (srsly look at this. the second i saw this tweet back in like 2016 i was like “oh i love this dude”)

LIKE.... LOOK AT THAT.......

Ok so back to the point : like i get most people do not care to keep up with the guy who had 19 seconds of screen time in ep 22 LIKE I GET THAT but literally the very second you look at his characterization in literally anything it is just so clear that he genuinely likes totty and seeks out his company!

And like i know some people saw how totty reacted to him in the movie and went “uh.” But you guys are literally forgetting that todomatsu is a matsuno.... plus totty literally tried to maul his own siblings? IDK to me it just kinda shows to todomatsu clearly feels close enough to atsushi in order to treat him like his siblings because totty is the kind of person who values what people think of him (including atsushi. In ep 7 season 2 he literally is apologizing to atsushi even when atsushi isnt even there which means he clearly cares about whether he is on good terms with him or not) so like....? If he really didnt like atsushi he just wouldnt hange out with him. He just got pissed off,,,, not very deep. Plus atsushi didnt even react.... which to me is just like.... he is close enough to totty to know he is dramatic and is use to having totty be a drunk menace to society. Also? People think he was being mean with the whole ‘neetville’ thing WHICH LIKE..... WHAT ABOUT IT.... like im not even convinced he meant it like that but even if he did, he is just teasing them....it really not that deep..... it is one negative interaction out of the many postitive ones they have had and its is mostly totty who is making a stink (which is a common theme.... BUT THAT DOESNT MEAN HE HATES ATSUSHI WE WILL GET THERE)

Back to atsushi, i feel like seeing him in highschool made me kinda get his character more (tho its just my interpretation so idk. I literally do not know how they characterize him in tabi or the spin off because i just havent seen translations for that stuff? Tho i know i heard that in one of the tabi events he was in people said he was nice to totty (aka he was a good guy... like we have known this.) but thats like.. it.) We barely see him talk! He is super quiet! Which is... going back to the last part.... kind makes the lines he has make sense? I feel like he isnt really the best at taking the lead in conversations and isnt really even that good of a conversationalist but he knows what people what to hear so he just says that and it usually works out fine? Like he can fake it well, like when i write a paper and think “idk what im talking about” and then i get it back and the prof is like “wow..... this was.... breathtaking...” like thanks my head is empty! idk if that makes sense but he just seems like the kind of person who was forced to get good at conversing when he finished highschool in order to network and shit but like deep down he would rather not. Like he is friendly! He has friends and he likes being with them but i feel like if it was up to him he would be a bit more reserved. And the fact he likes totty kinda speaks to this?

Before we get to that i should probably prove he likes totty but i feel like it is so obvious i shouldnt have to..... he set totty up with the girls in ep 7, he apparently goes to the gym with totty every now and then and like. Looks forward to it. The hesowars sprite where he is waving totty as if totty was some kind of celebrity (in front of the girls who clearly dont want to see him. Like atsushi is so oblivious to the fact the atmosphere is awkward because he is too busy being.... gay??? Sorry homies i decided it is gay.) also the offical art of totty and atsushi on a totally-not-a-date.... even if you take the subjective gay subtext i put on there off its still obvious atsushi and totty hang out and atsushi puts effort in in order to do so. I feel like the fact he is still in touch with totty after highschool speaks to just how much effort atsushi put in to keep him around because lets be 100%. Todomatsu seems like a NIGHTMARE to actually have a stable friendship that lasts more than a year with. This is the guy who literally does not get the concept of friendship... and yet here atsushi is.....very much being his friend

I feel like unless you are someone who is very good at reading inbetween the lines/a good listener, it would be impossible to be todomatsus friend just because of the front he puts up. I honestly think since they are highschool friends, totty doesnt put up as much of a front with atsushi cuz like... he saw totty at his most baby..... like you cant come back from that. But totty puts up fronts even with his own siblings so he definitely still has to put up some kind of front with atsushi. So i think atsushi being this quiet kid in highschool gave him the skills to deal with totty. I KNOW THAT SOUNDS MEAN I PROMISE I LOVE TOTTY IM JUST BEING REALISTIC. when you arent doing the talking and you are just listening and taking in what people are saying you start to pick up on a lot of little things. And because atsushi knows what totty was like in highschool i feel like he genuinely understands todomatsu as a person. Like totty can act self assured and dismissive but we (and atsushi) know that deep down he really craves affection and validation. Which is why atsushi sticks around with him and even goes as far as setting him up on dates. Atsushi is a quiet dork at heart. I will not budge on this.

So like where does the asshole rich man idea of atsushi even come from?? Because atsushi isnt really like that (tho i will admit it is very funny... rich asshole atsushi is very funny i can not lie)? The line about him having a car never came off as snobbish to me tbh it just seems awkward (like you know... a quiet kid who is forced to converse). Remember how i said we would come back to that? We are finally doing it. Todomatsu matsuno has too many insecurities and he projects them on the people around him. Notice how we always see atsushi from todomatsu perspective! Totty see atsushi as the guy who always one ups me and takes girls from me.... the guy who said neetville,,,, the guy who likes to look down on commoners..... but .... totty isnt a reliable narrator. Todomatsu has a hard time seeing other people as being genuine because he himself cant be genuine. So when atsushi hangs around him, he assumes that he must be looking down on him, because why else would someone like atsushi wanna be around someone like totty :( (i suggest “because he is gay” but like-) i think totty genuinely likes atsushi but he is so self sabotaging that he cant accept the idea that anyone who knows who he is could ever want to connect with him so he tries to keep atsushi at a distance and lashes out whenever atsushi unknowingly proves his warped perspection of him (an asshole rich guy) right because the idea of someone using ur misery as entertainment is upsetting to say the least.

Its 2020 and i cant believe i just rambled about atsutodo but i was thinking about atsushi recently plus...... i dont keep up with the oso fandom but i saw shit about people who thought atsutodo was.... bad??? And like I genuinely just cant see how you could get to that conclusion? It doesnt have to be ur thing but to reach and say its somehow “Problematic” ??????? The only messy thing about it is just totty being a matsuno like..... atsushi is genuinely such a chill guy i just... its not clicking for me.

Anyway atsushi is a dork man. Quiet highschool kid rep. Coconut head king. jon arbuckle. And if he wants to hold hands with todomatsu matsuno?? Who am i to stop him.... insert image of fma love is love thumbs up

In fact after all the effort he has put in? He deserves to hold his hand..... AND TOTTYS HAND DESERVES TO BE HELD/??/

Ok i have work to do bye

[somarysueme]

WicDiv Thoughts, some overly personal

stiiiiiillllll can’t really put together my feelings about the end and epilogue.  I will say that I liked the ending and epilogue more than I expected to*, and the longer I sit on it, I find more things to like about it.

(* Except for everything about Baal and Mini)

That said, there’s still that huge, unpleasant gap between what I wanted/expected this comic was supposed to be, and what it actually intended/was. I wrote this post after 43 (the “everyone does the thing” chapter), using bits of a half-written reaction to 39 ("Laura did the thing” chapter) to talk about that gap. I decided to sit on it til everything was said and done Just In Case, but I mostly still agree with what I’d written. 

So Here Are My Thoughts

The full pantheon abdicating! This is basically where I expected us to go. Since 39 it seems like the natural place for the story to be headed. Laura’s revelations, along with the Daddy Forgive Us special made it clear that the only way out of the game was not to play it. I was kinda luke warm on that concept, but it made sense for where the story was at that point. I was waiting to see how it actually played out before getting fussy about it.

I give him a C for execution here. Maybe a C+. 

I thought Dio’s moment was great. Jon’s was beautiful. Inanna’s I definitely could have gotten behind if he’d actually gotten to have any of that arc on the page instead of getting put on a bus 30 chapters ago. 

The rest range from “meh” to “yikes.”

I could have liked this, I wanted to like this. Given how much “OKAY” has been miles more thoughtful than Mothering Invention, I was genuinely hoping to like this. I would have loved to see these kids find something more important than godhood to live for. But that’s not what we got.

We did get them realizing that being a god is not worth dying for. Which is good!  And essential! And basically the central conceit of this comic! 

But.

But...  

I really wanted to see our cast value their lives period. And while there was some of that, there was far more of seeing them be humbled. We saw them beaten down until they had no choice but to admit they Were Not Special (or at least, were not as special as they thought). I was hoping for them to find a capacity to value their lives because their lives have value whether or not they are special, but instead it was a story about being humbled, and I guess to me, I just can’t see that what young queer artists need is help being humbled. They need help being valued as people, they need the internal presence of self to command that value be respected, and they need the external support to give them a fighting chance at that.  And not to be That Fan, but that fighting chance doesn’t come from individual actions. It comes from worker solidarity and respect for labor as labor.  It just doesn’t work for me to have a series around the exploitation and consumption of young talent and leave anything material about money and labor practices out of the material.

(McKelvie’s My (6000 F) pantheon has unionized joke, but unironically.)

Anyway this comic was all about Don’t Let This Happen To You.  And that’s a good start, but I was hoping for it to be so much more than that. It could be that this is me looking at WicDiv and wanting it to say something broader about specialness and creativity and mental illness and exploitation. 

(There’s a lot to be unpacked wrt presenting itself as a story about the whole world through all of human history, while also intending to be  psuedoautobiographical for a very specific set of circumstances. But that’s not this post.)

It’s weird because like, Fandemonium already delivered masterfully on Laura learning to value herself outside of godhood.  Laura’s last pre-apoptheosis soliloquy about “I can’t save any of them, but I can still help them” was one of those wham moments that really cemented this book’s place in my heart. Living through Fandemonium and realizing that the gods were people, and needed actual love and support from people who cared about them as people, and that just being a decent friend is something worth living for, fuck!! That’s good shit!! That’s fucking excellent!! 

And for the rest of WicDiv’s run, I was always waiting for the story to get back to that place, but it never really did. 

 (ETA AFTER 45 IS OUT: ok fine I fucking love that Laura saved Luci. Big Gay Hero Girl drags naughty non-devil out of hell and they kiss, fucking A+. But “can’t save but CAN help” is still something I wish the comic had followed up on more. The friendship thing got touched on a little bit too,  but never in a way I found as satisfying as Fandemonium.)

So anyway Luci going Full Diva. Her future is this and her future is nothing.

The longer I chew on it, the more I like it, and the more it seems like the inevitable place for Elanor Rigby’s story to go. It’s a good continuation from where we last saw her have any scrap of agency, but also frustrating in that “the lat time we saw her have any scrap of agency” was basically the entire comic ago. It was jarring to have her go from [One Sassy Line Per Issue] to [Maybe I’m The Final Boss]. Her story suffered deeply suffered from all the time she spent off screen. But despite all that, I’m very much really looking forward to whatever the fuck Laura Wilson’s going to do about this. 

I’m trying not to get my hopes up for Talk Her Down ending. It seems perfectly in line with this series to end with the moral of “sometimes, no matter how kind or brave or caring you are, people you love pick their addictions over living.” That’s a song I’ve already heard live and in person, and I don’t really want or need to hear anyone else’s studio cover.

Uh final thought on 43 is.... Minanke DOES seem to count herself as part of the 12, which still lines up with my Emily Was Also A Fake God theory (Fauxmaterasu theory? Nokami hypothesis? Amaterasuspicion?) but it does seem unlikely to actually be a Thing between now and the epilogue. shrug.

(ETA AGAIN: I had to write out my feelings on 39 and Laura’s own abdication (unpotheosis?) to properly respond to 43. So here’s a draft of another unpublished post that I fleshed out.)

I have extremely mixed feelings about chapter 39. 

First Feeling: thank fuck the pregnancy plot is over. 

Second feeling: establishing abdication as an option established a nice overarching shape to this book. Things have felt directionless for many chapters, but this does make it seem like we are back on some kind of track.

Third Feeling: kinda liking abdication as a general direction for endgame.  For most of the series, I was hoping the whole that there actually was Something Important about the recurrence, but since it's clear now that it’s basically all lies, I like this this angle well enough.

Strongest Feeling: hell fucking yes to Laura’s shaved head. 

(Tangential Feeling: buzzing your own head is good and you should think about doing it. Doing it for catharsis in a moment of crisis is A-OK, but I did it once just because I felt like it and it was fucking great. banishing your high maintenance hair does not cure depression, but it does give you back an hour of personal upkeep every day and the fuzzy head is wonderful to touch.)

Contrary to most of the fandom, though, I absolutely loathed Laura’s monologue here, and the context that it puts around her not-choice. There’s a lot of shitty Hot Takes out there about how mental illness and addition and creation intersect. A lot of people will suggest that being unhealthy makes you a better artist, and what’s more that being a better artist is worth being unhealthy.  This series is unambiguously and steadfastly against that message, which is one of the absolute best and most important things about it!  I don’t want to diminish that.

But that all said, seeing Laura alone in the dark describing “an addicts moment of clarity” was... jesus it was all kinds of personally painful and upsetting. It hurt real bad, and not in the way I though I had agreed to be hurt. And I’m not sure how to spell out why.

I have thousands and thousands of words on why it struck such a sour cord in me, but a lions share can be summed up with “fuck absolutely every story where a Troubled Girl just needed to get traumatized/humiliated/humbled enough to Realize How Bad She Was Being.” Double fuck this one in particular for showing the girl getting over addiction/mental illness by literally sitting alone in the dark thinking about how much she fucked up.  That story is tired, and cruel, and dangerous, and thank Christ I encountered this comic at 30 and not 19 because I would have swallowed it down with all the other poison that Helpful Adults fed me.

But yeah though, her shaved look is fucking adorable as shit.  Neither she nor Britany made any hair mistakes.

ETA ULTIMATE: That last bit is the one thing in this post I don’t quite still stand by. By the end, it’s clear that the above wasn’t at all the story this book was trying to tell at all. I thought WicDiv was trying to tell some Epic Truths, Hard-Facts-About-Human-Nature shit. But despite the sweeping setup (All Across The World and Through All Of History) the book was using a complex allegory for a very specific situation (Selling Your Soul and Name and Life To Creative-Industrial Machines), and that made it muddy.  

(Insert Principal Skinner meme here “Am I out of touch? Was I simply interrogating the text from the wrong perspective?  No, it’s the original creators who are wrong!”)

I’m from a family of mentally ill, addiction-prone, recovering-Catholic artists.  Laura is in my blood. Half the people I love are Laura.  I have Laura’s painting on my wall and her books on my shelf. I’ve sat with Laura’s mother a few years after Laura’s death, as her father now slowly dying in the next room, and listened to her music for the first time. (It was good. It was really good.  And I never even knew.)

These experiences colored my read, but how could they not?  

I do now, I think, understand what Gillen was trying to say- the addiction he was talking about was to stardom, the attention and accolades, and free pass to make your own shit be everyone else’s problem. I understand now that the “art” that the gods made was always supposed to be Not Real Art, that there was no true “message” from their songs- all noise, no signal. It was never about Laura’s art, or even Laura as an artist.  And that was unpleasant to reconcile.

Because when you're Laura, or Elanor, or any of them, life doesn’t have to grant your ill-advised wish before it fucks your head and kills you. Sometimes you fight as hard as you can with every fiber of your being and you’re still in Hell. Sometimes you’re doing all the Meetings and self-reflection and therapy you can manage and you’re still a Destroyer. But the shit you create while you’re down there is worthy of creating. What you do with your too-short, too-fucked time matters. A fucked up life was still worth living because it was your life to live. And... I guess, from the story presented in Faust Act and Fandemonium, I sort of thought that this was what WicDiv was supposed to be talking about. I thought it was going to be about doing something good even when life is fucking you. But instead it is a cautionary tale that  that suggests you could have stopped getting fucked at any time if you had just gotten over yourself and said the magic words.

We spent half the comic watching Laura drag herself through the mud. Half the comic was focused on Her Mistakes, when so little of her circumstances were actually her fault. “Punish Ophelia until she gets over herself” is not at all what WicDiv meant to be about. I imagine the creators would be aghast to hear that’s what I got out of it. But the text is what the text is.  While it is intended (and successful!) at being many other very good things, this one really bad thing is still part of that mix, and that sucks.

Maybe I should have picked up on the discrepancy between my read and the intent sooner. Probably I should have just done myself a favor and stop reading once I did.

2016, 2017 while my life was going a bit to shit, this comic was exactly what I needed. Being in the fandom made my life better and helped me meet cool new friends and get through some of the hardest shit to happen to me since I was a kid. Then in 2018, it slid into source of frustration and soured promise. Now at the end I have no idea if I liked it or not. 

But that’s fine, now that it’s done. The ink is dry, the ritual is over. It’s just a comic book now.  Some pictures I still love and some words I don’t always agree with. A lot of noise, arguable amounts of signal, but not a song I want to play on loop anymore.

I have no real conclusion to draw here. I respect at how firmly WicDiv rejects dark and unhealthy parts of being a professional creator- especially unhealthy things that are generally just accepted as Common Wisdom. I don’t think it took enough care in spelling out what it was rejecting, though, and I do think it was remiss in not finding good healthy things to embrace as an alternative.

All of the above notwithstanding, I have to give it credit for delivering almost exactly what I wanted in terms of lesbian nonsense. That ain’t nothing.

I give this series ?????/∞ and am happy to be safely clear of Kieron Gillen’s Wild Ride

[dachi-chan25]

GoT Season 8 Episode 1: The Pointy End Recap

Gods I am back on my bullshit but I can't help it 'cause I had too many thoughts about yesterday's episodes.

Disclaimer: So if you know me or my blog you know I don't root for D Targy (I write it like this cuz i don't want this post to pop up in her tag) and that she sometimes annoys the crap out of me, also i don't root for her bland ass romance or anything magical lizard related. I support House Stark 100% so ofc I believe in Pol!Jon (and more over I am a Jonsa shipper so ofc Imma write about that) and if you don't agree or don't feel confortable with any of those things this Recap is not for you (if you come here to troll I'll just ignore you anyway so don't waste your time and energy like that)

With that said let's begin!

.

-The episode starts with a young boy running to meet the Queen's entourage, we already see a lot of peasants and common folk gathered there, Arya sees the boy and smiles fondly (she is totally reminiscing when she did the same when King Bobby B visited WF) This shots made me feel very nostalgic as they parallel very closely S1.

Another parallel that it's included here is Jon and D arriving all regal couple like, I was just remembering about Bobby B and Cersei, and things are already on a visual side not working for them (d looks totally out of place with that flashy awkward coat, I mean the color, the cut, the red details, all of it makes her stand out like a sore thumb. On a visual level alone she does not belong there). The music is also worth noting, it starts off on a very ominious tone and then gets some heroic B bright undertones as Dr and Jon ride closer to he camera, but again falls into an ominious conqueror-villian entrance song.

The perspective shifts to Arya watching Jon and D riding (she doesn't seem happy to see D she kind of looks confused) but smiles when she sees Jon, we also see The Hound (Arya looks really confused, cuz she probably thought he was dead) and Gendry (she gives the cutest smiles ever,and yassssss Gendyra lives!!) riding behind them.

We get Varys and Tyrion riding in a carriage of sorts, and an unnecesary enuch joke *sigh* even Varys calls out Tyrion for it, and he is like idgaf cuz i got ballzzzz!! (Classy dude)

The common folk is not diggin this dragon kween business and obviously don't cheer or grovel at d's feet, she is very upset at this and Jon is like "I told you so", then the dragons approach and the people are terrified, they scream and run, worst of all D smiles and seems so smug (fuuuck her a thousand times, this proves she doesn't give a fuck about poor people unless they adore her, and that fear is just as well for her as respect, cuz this bitch is just like Cersei but dumber) and we don't really get to see Jon's reaction but come the fuck on!! This people Jon knows, some of them he has seen since he was a little boy, these are the people he is trying hard to protect and you think he is not gonna care for them just cuz d is pwetty?? Nah dude, he knows she cares about being worshipped (I meaaaan her long ass list of titles) but he thinks she is mostly harmless (may i remind you he still doesn't know about the TARLYS)

The camera follows the dragons and we see Sansa looking at them with worry (my poor girl, that's the adecuate reaction when you see monsters terrifying your people)

K, now we are seeing Jon in the courtyard, he sees Bran and immediately runs to him (you can clearly see Jorah helping D dismount in the background and that's hillarious cuz 2 seconds in WF and he is already leaving her ass behind in favor of his family), we even get a forhead kiss and Jon is pretty emotional at seeing his baby brother all grown up (tbh i find Bran's deadpan deliveries so funny, Jon looks confused af) he sees SANSA and biiiitch (I wanted to screenshot his face but I just gave up cuz it's very quick) the softness of his stare, the parted mouth, the way he just dives into her arms (Sansa stares at D while they hug like bih fuck off he is ours) . I want to address something real quick, yeah it was a shorter hug than we expected, but not less emotional ( Sansa was smiling and the look on Jon's face when he saw her) still it was 10000x times better than any Aegony scene because the affection is mutual Jon goes straight for a hug and Sansa opens her arms as opposed as Aegony scenes that rely heavily on D. Also I think this hug was shorter (and we see Jon pulling apart first) cuz d is watching, not only that but a lot of people are and i do think this season until the parentage reveal is out in the open they will be trying to keep their distances cuz they have feelings siblings are not supposed to have.

Jon asks for Arya, and Sansa says she is lurking somewhere with a smile (this reminded me of Cat asking about Arya on ep 1) and D approaches with the most forced smile ever, Jon introduces Sansa with her proper title first and then is like she is the kween D Targy forsaking all her thousand titles thank god. Also the first thing Jon says is that Sansa is his sister which I'll talk about later. So D tries (and fails) to be charming, saying how beautiful WF and the North (she says it's as beautiful as Jon said) and compares Sansa's beauty to it which had me wondering stuff.

A) so we never get Jon and D talking about Jon's siblings (another aegony is doomed moment) but he does mention briefly Arya and Bran cuz he thought they were dead, but Sansa??? Unless a thrid party brought her up he never talked about her which leads me to think D had no idea about Sansa being Jon's sister and that is why he breaks the hug and introduces he as his sister frist of all.

B) By talking about Sansa's beauty and how Jon talked about it, it implies they did talk about Sansa and that Jon said she was beautiful ??? Cuz that's the way D made it sound xdddd.

Ofc i think the A to be more like lyrics cuz Jon is playing his cards very close to his chest, but I thought it was funny.

Sansa brushes her of and delivers the WF is yours your Grace bs. Duuuude she is not even trying to be charming (she is corteous enough but barely) like she would have played the modest naive Maiden and said "not as beautiful as you, your grace" (bihhh d would have loved this shit) nor even a gracious thank you. And i wonder whyyy?? As far as she knows she is an ally, and yeah she doesn't trust her damn she doesn't even like her but that hasn't stopped her before like damn she was all charm when she met Roose and Ramsey for the 1st time and she hated them!!!! What I think is happening is that LF'S words are still in her mind about Jon marrying D, and Jon separated too quickly from their hug, and now he is standing beside this woman calling her queen, and yeah I see the jealousy maybe she doesn't know why fully maybe she is just starting to realize her feelings and is all projecting them onto the he betrayed the north's trust but I do feel it goes beyond that and it shows.

Bran interrupts before things get uglier with D and Sansa, with news about the wall, D looks shocked (bet she thought she was the only one who could control dragons) Jon looks like he is about to have a pánico attack.

They have a meeting with the northern Lords in the Great Hall (it is very curious that Jon is seated between d and Sansa, when befitting her new title D should be in the middle, D&D are driving this love triangle home) but from the get go we see that Sansa is the one running stuff and doing everything a queen should, she asks Ned Umbr about his people, he says they need more wagons and horses (I am sideeyeing D so hard at this moment) Sansa bids him to go to Last Hearth and bring as many ppl as he can.

Lyanna Mormont then proceeds to rip Jon a new one (but Lyanna like everyone else isn't really getting the full picture) and Jon looks at Sansa for support (like curious, as Lyanna is talking about D and she is his lady love and stuff you'd think he would look at her to gather strenght or resolution for what he is about to say but nope) but she is like 'dude you deserve it' and I would say she is right but like wasn't Sansa defending him to everyone that would listen last season ??? She literally said she respects Jon's desicions, nah this is her jealousy this is a go on prove me wrong, talk, give them (and me) and explanation of why u betrayed our trust for her. And Jon does look crushed when he sees he is not getting any support from her cuz if pol!Jon is right he did it! He listened to her, he was smarter than father and Robb, he brought an army home, and Sansa the one he did all this for still won't trust him that the North is his heart and home and he would do anything to keep it safe (like still pretty fucking unfair he wants sansa's blind faith without giving her anything in return but I get where he is coming from) and if pol!Jon is not real then they really destroyed Jon's character in favor of the blandest romance ever and I can't get behind that way of thinking because before I even shipped Jonsa I was a fan of both Jon Snow and Sansa Stark and I believe and support them both.

Honestly my boy doesn't even try to sell D, he is just like we need allies!! Tyrion just about gives up cuz he thinks Jon is a bumbling fool with no idea of how the game is played (lmaooo) and tries to sell D plus the idea that Cersei is sending them the Lannister army (I think is very important jon didn't mention this and I will go on about it later) Sansa is just about fed up with this bs, and asks a real important question about how da fuck is she supposed to feed this big ass army plus 3 dragons that she didn't account for and she doesn't have any obligation towards, like that's d's job, even worse d's haughty response (you can see Jon doesn't like this one bit) like honestly I had never felt more annoyed by d she is already a villian threatening Sansa in her own home for daring to care more about her people than about d's lizards, and i don't know how people are ok with that, like dude y'all are entitled to your own opinión and to loving your faves, but this shit was awfull.

We see carts of dragonglass in the courtyard, Gendry is giving instructions and Lord Royce is just leaving Sansa looking at all this activity when Tyrion approaches Sansa.

This is already to long and I have much to say about the Tyrion-Sansa convo, so let's go on in part 2!!

[fortunatelylori]

Hi! I apologise in advance if this question comes off as antagonistic, because I'm worried that it will, but please know that I'm genuinely curious. I've been reading some comments by you and @nothinghappensinalstonville and noticed you're both very critical of Sansa during her arguments with Jon, and seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong. (part 1 of 2)

My question is, can you elaborate on why – if you believe she undermines him and her advice to him is always wrong – you think she’s a good match for him, why you think they’d be a good team, why she’d be a good queen to his king? I’m sorry, my question sounds petulant even to my own ears, but I don’t mean it that way, I promise! I truly would like to hear your thoughts on why she’s good for Jon when you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions. (part 2 of 2)

Dear nonnie,

…..

I’m trying very hard to contain my frustration right now because you seem like a very nice person. However, I spend a lot of time and energy writing my posts and comments. I try, to the best of my abilities, to be fair and as objective as I possibly can and explain my point of view in detail. That takes quite a bit of thought and effort on my part so to know that, in your case at least, all of that was an utter and complete waste of time is a deeply disheartening feeling. 

To make it clear, I have no issues with people disagreeing with me or having different interpretations. Nor do I have issues with people sending me asks where they challenge my views. What I do take issue with is when my opinions are misrepresented or I’m accused of saying things I didn’t say. 

If you’re genuinely curious to find out my opinion, you could have checked out my blog before sending me this ask. I have a meta page all set up for anyone to go through and see what my opinions are. 

There is a tendency in the GOT fandom to believe that stanning a character should mean that you believe that character is above reproach, is never wrong and anyone who might disagree is not a “true fan”. By and large, the Jonsa fandom is more open to debate on the nature of characters than other groups but even in our little corner, there is a tendency to try to protect the character of Sansa from any and all criticism, mostly in relation to Jon. 

I understand the impulse to a degree. Sansa has been my favorite female character since season 1. I’ve gone on the bat defending her time and time again and I understand people being protective of her because Sansa is very much a maligned character in the rest of the fandom.

However, the way I stan characters doesn’t conform to this approach. To give you a clear example, my favorite literary character of all times is Scarlett O’Hara. That’s not because I believe she is perfect and beyond reproach but rather because of the complexities of her character that include both positive and negative traits. My liking of Sansa Stark is the same.I like characters, flaws and all and I have no problem discussing those flaws and I don’t think I should stop doing it just because fans in general are unfairly criticizing Sansa. That is not a valid argument to me. I would find it completely disingenuous and hypocritical on my part if I spent my time criticizing every other character, which I do, but stopped myself from doing it with Sansa because my opinion does not conform to the general consensus of the Jonsa/Sansa fandom or because she’s already unfairly criticized in other places. 

So, let’s get this over with: 

seem to think he was absolutely right and she was absolutely wrong

you seem to think she’s been so wrong in all their interactions.

I never said that. In this post I said the following: 

My problem with the way this whole thing is presented in the fandom is that it’s taken as a very black and white issue and people feel compelled to either defend Jon or defend Sansa.

The discourse is either:

“OMG! Look! Sansa is undermining Jon! Dark Sansa is coming, people! Alert the presses! This episode … this season … in 2035. It’s coming!“

Or

“Sansa is right. Jon is stupid. He makes decisions with his heart, instead of his head.“

Except that things are never as simple as that and it’s this type of decision that could cost you in the larger scheme of the game of thrones. Deciding whether to pardon the child of a bannerman that betrayed you could go many different ways.

And also: 

So to say that Sansa was right in this situation and Jon was wrong is oversimplifying things. It’s those kinds of decisions that a medieval king/lord is always struggling with and there is no 100% guarantee that you will make the right choice. Jon and Sansa are very young and they have a huge responsibility on their shoulders. There’s a lot you need to learn in order to be a successful ruler, and that goes for Sansa as well as Jon.

In my addendum to that post, I also said: 

I have also talked in the past, on several occasions, about Jon being a poor communicator, acting like a lone operator and blindsiding Sansa with his decisions despite them needing to act like a united front.

In a post I wrote just yesterday, I said this: 

Since season 6, Sansa has been frustrated that Jon doesn’t listen to her:

1. When she argued that he shouldn’t take Winterfell until they had enough men.

2. Before the battle of the bastards, when she warned him about Ramsay and felt that he wasn’t taking her opinion into account

3. In season 7, when she argued against his decision regarding Alys and Ned.

4. In season 7, when she felt he was paying too much attention to the NK and not enough attention to Cersei.

5. Still in season 7, when she told him not to go to Dragonstone and he blindsided her by announcing to everyone that he was, in fact, going.

So this: “this is the way he is, the way he’s always been. he never listens to me” business is a standing issue between them since the start of their relationship in season 6.

I didn’t find it strange that she would say that. She was angry and venting and she’s frustrated with Jon always doing things without talking to her or taking her opinion into account.

if you believe she undermines him 

Except I don’t believe she’s undermining him which is why I wrote an entire meta attacking the “undermining” argument that you can find here. 

In case you don’t want to bother reading all of it, here are a few excerpts: 

Now people have pointed out that, as one of his vassals, Sansa has every right to question him publicly. The problem is that’s not how Jon sees her. He very distinctly separates Sansa from the rest of his court. And since we already had the “we need to trust each other” scene at the end of season 6, I think it’s safe to assume that he sees the two of them as a unit that is supposed to be on the same page so the fact that Sansa speaks out against him in public, instead of privately, feels like a betrayal.

However, if there’s one thing you learn sooner or later, is that there are two sides to every story. That’s why it’s never a good idea to side with one party whenever couples fight.

Because if we look at things from Sansa’s perspective, you can see how she might feel dismissed. The fact of the matter is Jon isn’t the world’s greatest communicator and failed to talk his decision over with Sansa before announcing it to the Council, which in turn makes Sansa feel sidelined, hence her aggressive snark and Joffrey digs.

And that’s because the audience support is very much skewed  in  Jon’s favor. Being on tumblr, sometimes you forget that the Jonsa fam is very much the minority and that exclusive Sansa fans are the unicorns of this fandom (#love4unicorns). The vast majority of this audience will not look at Jon as an unreliable narrator, as every character in this show is, but as the ultimate authority on how this scene should be viewed.

If he says he feels undermined, then it must be because he’s being undermined, which by extension means that Sansa will betray him.

I simply believe that just like Jon, Sansa makes mistakes not only in their conversations but in her approach to certain issues, like the Alys/Ned incident. Jon and Sansa’s arguments, in my opinion, are not clear cut or black and white. There are points to be made on both sides of the debate and pretending like Sansa is completely correct and Jon is wrong is oversimplifying things, as is the reverse. I’ve already talked ad nauseam about the Alys/Ned situation. So here are a 2 other examples: 

Sansa warning Jon that they don’t have enough men  prior to the battle of the bastards: 

She is correct in that they don’t have enough men. That doesn’t change the fact that they’re stuck in the middle of freezing, wintry terrain, a fact that is brought into the plot by Davos who says Stannis lost the war primarily because of the weather, which is in fact correct. In addition to that, by that point they’ve already tried to gather up more men and were denied at almost every turn. It’s not that Jon can’t count, it’s that he doesn’t see any possibility of getting more men and is afraid that he’s going to lose the men he has if he waits. That is a valid argument. 

The reason why Sansa is so resistant is because she knows there’s the possibility of getting more men but dreads having to resort to calling the Knights of the Vale because Littlefinger comes attached to that particular deal. Jon can’t really be blamed for that since he doesn’t know. 

Sansa warning Jon that Ramsay will try to trick him: 

She is correct in her assessment of Ramsay. However her: “Don’t do what he wants you to do” isn’t going to help Jon much, is it? What does that mean? How do you build a strategy around that? She doesn’t know either. Saying that Jon should have listened to Sansa in this instance is … I mean, listen to her about what? He can do absolutely nothing with the info that Sansa provides. 

Her being angry that Jon doesn’t specifically ask for her opinion in a meeting where she is present is also, quite frankly, debatable. Could he have asked? Yes. Could she have just said what she thought instead of taking her frustration out on him in private? Also yes. 

That’s about it … These are the instances where I kind of lean  towards Jon’s point of view more than Sansa’s but also acknowledge the fact that she has reasons to say the things she says, thus making it a more complex situation than one of them being wrong and the other right. 

For those 3 instances, I am now stuck writing another extremely long post trying to defend what are not, as far as I can see, opinions that should garner this amount of controversy. 

But since now I must also atone for those opinions by proving just how much I love Sansa, here is the list of reasons why I believe they’re a good match and she’ll make a good queen to Jon’s king: 

1. She is more politically minded than he is. Their debate on trusting Tyrion is proof enough of that. She also has experience in dealing with an extremely treacherous court in King’s Landing and that will prove very useful in managing their future court. An experience Jon completely lacks. 

2. He has a tendency to be impulsive whereas she is more controlled and strategic. They balance each other out. Jon is a big picture thinker which is fine but that can cause him to miss details that might turn into huge conflicts later on whereas Sansa is much more aware of the subtleties of situations and can identify potential risks. 

3. Jon has a hero complex and a self-sacrificing streak, where he wants to save and protect everyone. Sansa is more willing to accept the possibility that you can’t always do that. But Jon will continue to try to protect people so he needs someone to protect him, sometimes even from himself which is what Sansa can do for him. 

4. In my post regarding the alliances that Sansa and Jon can make, I called Sansa the most eligible match in Westeros. The amount of allies and strategic power she can bring to the table is undeniable and will be among the main reasons why they end up king and queen.

5. They’re both humanists. Despite Sansa’s more calculated temperament (something she learned, btw because naturally she’s not a calculated person),  she would have given a mob of people that attacked her and almost raped her bread if she had had it, she takes charge of calming the spirits of the women during the Battle of the Blackwater and as Jon’s regent, she supervises the food storing and preparations for winter. They both have the same view of what leadership is and the kind of leaders they want to be. They both very much see leadership as a duty and want to do right by the people that they govern.

6. On a personal level, they’re both romantics who dream about a quiet, domestic life. They want to have children and raise a family. So their personal goals and temperaments are aligned. 

7. Jon is insecure, particularly when it comes to how other people view him and since the moment they have been reunited, not only has Sansa understood that but given him the validation he needs to feel secure, content and happy. In turn, Jon can be the brave, gentle and strong man that Ned promised Sansa and that she’s always dreamed about. 

8. They fight a lot, they both make good and bad point along the way but at the end of the day, their fights are constructive and lead to both of them growing and developing as people. They push each other to be better. 

There are probably many more reasons that can be added but this is all I can come up with at this time. 

One more thing I’d like to add before I finish this:

I was under the, perhaps mistaken, impression that people sending me asks or reading my blog were interested in my honest opinion on topics and not just in answers and posts that validate their pre-existing views. If that is the case, I don’t think my blog is for you. I will never shy away from expressing my thoughts on a subject, even when that might be controversial. So if that bothers you, I understand. Please unfollow me, block me or otherwise scroll past me if you feel leaving a comment disagreeing is not enough. I don’t want to make anyone’s fandom experience anything less than a happy one, if I can help it. 

So, in an effort, to keep the Jonsa fandom experience a positive one for myself, I’d like to let everyone know that this will be my final answer on this subject. If you’re ever tempted to send me an ask telling me that I don’t think Sansa is entitled to voice her opinions, that I think Sansa is undermining Jon, that I’m trying to steal her agency in order to prop up Jon or that I think Sansa is always wrong and Jon is always right, please know that I will delete those asks and not answer them. I really don’t like doing that because I love talking to you guys and I really appreciate your interest in my blog and my opinions but at this point, if you still believe all of those things, there’s literally nothing I can say that will change your mind. Thank you for understanding!

Have a nice day, nonnie!

[chicagoindiecritics]

New from Jon Espino on The Young Folks: Interview: Trey Edward Shults, Kelvin Harrison Jr., and Taylor Russell talk about the complexities in ‘Waves’

Every decade or so, we get new media that only entertains us but educates us on the experiences of the next generation. Many times they highlight the new complexities and differences of their experience to ours, but they also remind us that while it may be put in a different context, at its core they are things we have also gone through. Trey Edward Shults delivers exactly that in his latest film, Waves, which explores not only how these experiences affect a family unit, but how race can also play into them.

We spoke with Trey Edward Shults, and actors Kelvin Harrison Jr. and Taylor Russell collaborating together, revisiting their teenage years, MySpace and the start of social media, and more.

Since your first film, Krisha, you’ve created films that explore different family dynamics. We revisit topics like addiction and overbearing fathers. What attracts you to these types of stories?

Trey Edward Shults: I just connect to a lot of them. Personal experiences and loved ones’ experiences, especially in these 3 movies [Krisha, It Comes at Night, Waves] because they weren’t made that far apart. They were probably all brewing in the brain at around the same time. Whether it’s conscious or not, I think I was still rustling with some certain things, and remain fascinated by them.

As the film starts, everything seems almost idyllic, nearly perfect, but as it goes on, we learn the true complexity of each character. What was it about your respective characters that drew you in?

Kelvin Harrison Jr.: For me it was seeing this boy who had so much love and respect for his dad and those around him, but he really didn’t know how to communicate that or know what to do with that information for himself. He starts trying to appease everyone in a way that ultimately strips him away from his own identity and his own voice. I wanted to show the humanity of a black boy where he doesn’t fall into the cliches, but who can make mistakes that also don’t define who they are. I also wanted to show how a family would have to grow because of the historical traumas that come from being a black family in America right now. It wasn’t just about the character but also the entire message of what we have to go through as African Americans. 

Taylor Russell: It’s really rare that you get characters like this for a young woman. I haven’t ever seen a script like this come across my lap, so it was a no-brainer to be a part of it. To see a story that is so nuanced, truthful, and authentic to the complexities of the black experience, which is so vast and so different for every person, made me admire how that was portrayed in this story. I liked how quiet she was, and how her strength was unconventional and unique. Even the storytelling style was perfect, how it was told in the two halves, was something that felt unique and that I had never seen before. I knew Trey’s work from Krisha. It was shot in such a beautiful way and unlike any other cinema. People were telling me that it was going to be quite close to Krisha, and I was like, “Oh my god, if it’s going to be like that then hell yes! Let’s do it!”

I like the way the film is split into two different perspectives. The first half focuses on the male experience, while the second half follows the aftermath and the female experience. Was it always your intention to split the film up this way?

TES: I think it was in the DNA way before even writing it. It functions in dichotomies, literally from highs and low, white and black, male and female, love and hate, and everything else in between. I liked the idea of the movie functioning in these dichotomies, but what it’s really about is the link and complexity of how we’re connected by the contrasts in our lives.

Although the film mostly focuses on the individual struggles and the family as a whole, there are a few moments in the film that talks exclusively to the black experience in America. What resources did you use to research this before incorporating it into the film? 

TES: Kelvin was such an invaluable resource, and he’s the reason that the story is about a black family. We met on our last film [It Comes at Night] and first started talking about Waves. I didn’t have it written yet, but I started talking about ideas of what I thought the movies was, and broad strokes about what I wanted it to be. Then, we were like, “We should do it together.”  When I was first writing it, we were texting a lot. Almost like little therapy sessions as we were learning about each other, learning about our commonalities and shared experiences with families, especially around the character’s age. Kel got a first draft, 8 months before we started shooting and then we kept building it further and further at that point. I let the actors kind ad-lib and make some changes to the scenes so that it would feel more natural and authentic. I felt like it was my job just to listen and understand and try to capture everything I could. 

So this was truly a collaborative process?

TES: Oh, absolutely.

KHJ: It was so easy because it really feels like the script and Trey’s version of it really understands the family. It was like the skeleton and the muscles, setting a strong foundation so that we can come in and be like, “Well, let’s put some brown skin here and a little blush and we’re good to go.”  I was never fearful of speaking up and being like, “Well this is how I feel and this is how I experienced this.” He would also respond with, “Well that makes sense and I understand that so now let’s shoot it that way.” To me, that’s beautiful.

While watching the film, it takes a turn partway through where it turns into a horror film. It feels almost nightmarish at a certain point.

TR: On the day of shooting those scenes, you could tell right away the tonal shift the movie was taking. It felt scary, and that day of filming was really intense too. Although a lot of that was in the script, it is still quite shocking when you see the final version. 

TES: I talked about this with Sterling [K. Brown] a lot too. For this family, the greatest tragedy has happened and a nightmare has come to life. It started with exploring how this would feel for this family and this situation, and from there it grew to adding the visuals and audio elements that would end up giving it more of a horror feel. 

One of the things that really helped push some of the more unnerving elements was the sound design and Trent Reznor and Atticus Ross’ score. How did that come together?

TES: It just got super lucky. One day, I got an email from Trent and Atticus saying they were interested in working together. It was unbelievable. For sound design, I had Johnnie Burn and his whole team create that atmosphere and mood. 

I’m still haunted by the sounds of the ligaments and muscles tearing. It was almost like ASMR, but in the most stressful kind of way. 

TES: Johnnie had such an amazing foley team and I don’t even know how they got most of the sounds they used in the film. We played with that beyond just what would sound natural and tried out things that would be more subjective to the characters, like whenever Tyler would use his shoulder. 

KHJ: Oh, I was on the ground and I could definitely hear it and feel it.

Did you know how to wrestle or did you have to learn just for the role?

KHJ: Hell-to-the-no. I had to transform. I did 3 months of wrestling training. I did 3 days a week of CrossFit with wrestling twice a day. My wrestling coach Vlad is actually in the movie. He would tell me, “Kelly, get tough!”  It was a tough experience but ultimately great for the movie because I could feel free and authentic when playing the character. 

For some people, their teenage years are either the best or the worst. How did it feel revisiting that time for your characters, or even while developing this film together?

TR: I mean, we play teenagers a lot. I feel like I’m constantly in high school. Maybe I’ll finally graduate one day. One can only dream. I think I got a little bit longer because I have a babyface. This story though feels so transcendent beyond being a 16-year-old, it’s more about the human experience. In that way, it feels like it could be at any age. At the same time, it’s telling the story of teenagers and experiencing and feeling things for the first time. It was a fun thing to explore, but also a hard thing. 

KHJ: It was therapeutic for me. My parents saw it for the first time and they told me that that could really understand the relationships. That’s what the movie ends up being about: relationships. At the end of it, I was feeling like maybe I should call my mom and try to figure out how to communicate with her a little bit better. It transcends age in a lot of ways, but the specificity of the 2019 kid experience is fascinating to me. I remembering having MySpace growing up.  

I honestly still miss MySpace. It’s basically the only reason I have the limited HTML coding knowledge I have. I mainly miss that you could set specific songs on the page. 

KHJ: I don’t miss it at all. So many fights when you would set your top 5 or top 10. It was the beginning of proper social media drama, and I was just not interested in it. The intensity of that now with apps like Instagram and Snapchat is insane. 

TR: In the film, you see the role that social media plays after the major event happens. Just the way people comment and speak about it so realistic. Even the cussing in the movie feels real, like when Trey has the phone autocorrect “ducking” for the f-word. We all know about that and that feeling when you’re so mad that you just don’t even care that it typed that out because we all know what they’re trying to say. It just adds to the overall relatability and speaks to real experiences.  

from Jon Espino – The Young Folks https://ift.tt/2KVxHkE via IFTTT

from WordPress https://ift.tt/2XUzrQy via IFTTT

[366daysandnights]

thresholds

perched on columba’s bay/the bay at the back of ireland. photo by claire tomkinson.

in 2011 i had the honor of being invited by my dear friend to pilgrimage to Iona Abbey on the Isle of Iona in Scotland. i had never really had any desire or inclination to go to Scotland, and i had never heard of Iona, but this experience was important to claire as she journeyed through grief and crossed a threshold as a new wife. although i didn’t realize it at the time, i was also at a threshold. my first marriage was coming to an end and changes in my job were imminent. i felt liberated by the doors that were closing in my life and the space they created to open up something in their place. 

iona is described as “a thin place” - a place where the material and spiritual come close to one another. it would be impossible for me to photograph or describe how keenly you can feel this on the island. it is a place where every act - a quiet moment of reflection, a conversation with a friend, a meal shared in community (and, oh the food) - feels holy. 

the abbey.

claire and i spent a lot of time together on this trip. we both unintentionally fell asleep on our luggage in a park in downtown London, exhausted and obviously not super concerned about our belongings (because, jetlag). we journeyed up to king arthur’s seat at 11pm because the sun doesn’t set in the summer in Scotland, like ever. on our single night in Edinburgh we somehow got seated right next to the window in the cutest, most touristy restaurant of my Scottish dreams. after a day of train, bus and ferry we decided to go on a walk around iona isle and inexplicably got lost in a bog on a tiny land mass. this made our teenage roommates worry about US, which was kind of a funny indication of what was yet to come. that week was such a gift with my friend, with time spent talking, laughing, singing, crying, praying, and getting sunburned.

despite all these cherished experiences together, iona also permitted lots of time to spend on our own. claire is a gifted artist by trade, and i work in outdoor retail, so we both observed with some irony that most of her solitary time was spend roaming the island, and most of mine was spent in the art studio (and occasionally lured into the clear, frigid water by claire’s gusto). 

lo, one of maybe three times in adulthood that i voluntarily wore shorts. on the isle of staffa. i bought two books during our time on the island, because duh - the obvious souvenir for international travel with tiny luggage are BOOKS. the first is a book of blessings for life’s thresholds called to bless the space between us by john o’donohue. it offers sweetness and comfort for making the transition from a known, familiar world into new, unmapped territory. i keep this book on my nightstand and have revisited it countless times in the years since our trip. the second book is called praying with our hands by jon sweeney, and is a beautiful pictorial from the world’s spiritual traditions of ways that our bodies are places where prayer is actively happening - breaking bread, laying on of hands, the cosmic mudra, praying with icons, etc. this really spoke to me during a time that i struggled to find a church community and welcomed a reminder that with a simple shift in perspective in work, in charity, in breath, in acts of lovingkindness both my body and the occasion become sacred. 

it was with that on my heart that i found my way to the art studio on iona. i spent most of my free time there that week in part because i enjoyed the company of the adorable too-young-for-me-even-then man that ran the art studio, and mostly because i felt called to use this new sense of embodied prayer...to sew. i have no idea why. i had never done it before.  

i felt drawn back to this space on the brink of new motherhood. i wanted to create something for my children that i readily acknowledge has no artistic value and will probably sit in a closet somewhere, but maybe someday when i am a dusty old bitch my children will look at this and remember that once i sat and prayed for them with my hands and millions (and millions) of tiny stitches. this is what i was doing when i went into labor with my son.

i could write at length about my last month of pregnancy with isaiah - the heaviness i felt in my body. i have never been too concerned about my weight but have always been attached to feeling sturdy and strong, and in those final weeks even walking was a burden. i couldn’t understand how my stomach could get so big, and jesus - my feet looked like something out of a coney island freak show. from august onward i was convinced that i could go into labor, or explode, any second but it turns out my children both have an annoying punctuality that they definitely didn’t inherit from me. isaiah arrived right on his due date. 

the picture where my brother was convinced that someone just photoshopped a large circle over my abdomen in the same color as my tank top. placement of iced tea is unexplained phenomena

i was not aware that rose had down syndrome during my pregnancy. my midwife detected a fetal arrhythmia around 32 weeks but otherwise my pregnancy was blissfully uneventful. i planned a stereotypical crunchy unmedicated vaginal delivery. after i was induced and my labor plan fell apart before my eyes, i really struggled with feelings that my body had completely failed me and my child. in the months that followed in the hospital, i apologized to my husband and my daughter for my inability to grow a healthy child. i still do. 

in contrast, i planned nothing for my son and imagined that everything that could possibly go wrong would. nothing did. i was a good candidate for a VBAC but my midwives were cautious about setting any expectations. at risk of disappointment, i literally did nothing but pack my bag. despite the fact that i was convinced that my baby would fall out at any second, when i started having painful contractions on a monday night we were unprepared. it occurred to me that i may not make it until thursday when my mom was planning to arrive. chase urged me to contact my parents, and i reluctantly sent them a text, apologizing for the last minute request and asking if one of them would be able to come earlier. my dad responded, “it’s not last minute, we’ve been waiting for 9 months.” (touche, dad) and he arrived that night. 

this experience made me wonder if this is what women are talking about when they complain about being in labor for 24 hours, 36 hours, 48 hours, their entire third trimester, etc. maybe this is our version of a war story - mostly true, but embellished to really draw out our suffering and sacrifice to bring life into this world. 

i spent the days before isaiah’s arrival trying to cherish these moments with my girl

anyway, i wasn’t in labor for 48 hours. the contractions subsided with the sunrise, and i went back to my cross stitch sampler. my midwife gave me a single piece of advice that informed my labor plan - 

don’t count minutes between contractions. forget the 5 minute rule. ask yourself if you can get through five more contractions on your hands and knees. ten more contractions in the shower. and at the moment the answer to that question becomes “no, i can’t,” that’s when you come to the hospital.

we arrived at the hospital at 5:30pm and headed to OB Triage. i spent two hours feeling like my body was being ripped in half, drenched in sweat and unable to utter a single coherent word. the papers and consent forms the nurses kept bringing me went basically ignored (like, is this really the time to be filling out paperwork?! WTF?!). there was a woman next to me that came in with false labor and the nurses were going over guidelines on how to tell between false and active labor with her before sending her home. i was terrified that i would be next and that i would have to a) walk back across OB Triage in that hospital gown that definitely does not fully close over a pregnant belly and it seems like someone could probably do something about that, b) come to terms with the fact that my body couldn’t handle this. 

except i was already fully dilated. by the time the anesthesiologist arrived i truly could have kissed him if i hadn’t been sobbing into the shoulders of my labor and delivery nurse. she held me around the waist and offered some comforting, indecipherable sentiments to keep me from moving around and being paralyzed while the anesthesiologist put a huge needle into my spinal cord (thanks jessica!). she is a goddess. 

my midwife gave me about half an hour to “rest,” wherein i begged for some water and was awarded with a cup of ice chips (seriously, so many things need to be revised about L&D), then she coached me through about 45 minutes of very thirsty pushing. my son corkscrewed into the world at 9:17pm, and was immediately welcomed by chase’s musical selections of new edition and michael jackson while i continued to beg for water and everyone else stitched me up and cleared the murder scene. when people ask me how my delivery went i am actually at a loss to describe how ordinary it all was. 

except, this little life. 

isaiah winters peregoy arrives, at last and right on time. my little wild virgo.

i am not a romantic person by nature. i’ve been fortunate that in most relationships people mistake my quiet for thoughtfulness or mystery and are entrenched enough in their fondness for me by the time they realize that i am just pragmatic, and a bungling mess like everyone else. however, i am deeply romantic when it comes to my children. 

watching my daughter’s golden curls fly through the air makes me breathless. looking into my sons eyes, a mysterious grey-green for now, and knowing that i will be the first person to truly see him fills me with gratitude. these exhausted mornings with both of my children in my bed, their heads on my chest, give me pause as i remember holding them both beneath my heart and that no deed or person can ever erase that. they are perfect. 

i am completely relearning what it is to mother my son. for good or for ill, none of the lessons that we learned with rose apply this time around. she was two months old when she arrived in our home, blissfully sleep trained by our amazing NICU nurses and fed by g-tube for almost her first full year of life. isaiah sleeps in 10 minute increments and has an insatiable appetite that i am trying to keep up with. but they are both perfect, rose with all her gross, sticky, rambunctious toddler qualities and this new little creature with his constant need for motion and touch. this also feels like a thin place. 

[kittensjonsa]

Some thoughts on season 7 plot leaks, general GOT, jonerys and Jonsa (Meta)

Hi, first of all I wanted to say thank you for your tumbrl. It’s always full of nice and positive quotes, articles and metas. I’m a sucker for ships, I guess I just like to see people happy. Jonsa has quickly become one of my favorite ships. I don’t have a tumbrl or any real platform to express my opinions about it but if you allow me I would like to share some of my thoughts with fellow shippers. 

Well, first I have to say I didn’t watch GOT since the beginning, actually I started watching after season 6 was out. My first introduction to the show was a clip of jonsa, I thought it was the clip of a couple and then I read they were siblings (this was confusing and disturbing…. until the pilot, I’m talking to you J/C). If you want to keep watching GOT you have to get over incest issues or…. family sexual intercourse, so I got over it. Then I watched the whole show, I haven’t read the books cause I don’t want to confuse myself with information that has not been revealed in the show yet or may never be.

I was surprised to see how many people hate Sansa in the fandom, I find her character and story arc very interesting. I love her story, and I love Arya’s, and Bran’s, and Jon’s. Why is people comparing them? Why is people pitting them against each other? Specially the 2 sisters. One is not better than the other, they both make mistakes, very stupid mistakes but they also survive in their own right. Arya is not strong because she knows how to fight (physically), she is strong because of who she is. Fighting is an skill, just like playing an instrument, sewing, drawing or being good with numbers. I’m a terrible athlete and I can only do maths for daily use but that doesn’t make me weak, stupid or less awesome. I have other abilities and those are my strengths. You are strong when you know what are you good at, that’s how you play your part in a larger picture, that’s how you fight. Sansa has her witty, her courtesy and her words, she is fighting from inside (by the way she has no blame on what happened to Ned, she is responsable for getting herself stuck in Kings Landing which she fully knows and understand)

Then I saw a very vocal group of people shipping jonerys and after 6 seasons I have to say…. I still don’t see it. Yes, I see the parallels but there are so many parallels with so many other characters. I do believe a meeting between these 2 characters is inevitable and needed for the story to progress. But this is not a romantic love story between the 2 heroes. This is a story about power. D&D said it 6 years ago when they started the series. This is a story about people who wants power ( Littlefinger, the Tyrell’s, The Frey’s, Daneyris and so on), the ones who have power and want to keep it (the Lannisters) and the ones stuck in the middle (the Starks and the realm).It’s about what power do to people, all that they loose in the process and the pain it causes them. It’s very well explained in the first season.

What I love about GOT is that everybody can be the hero or the villain, it all depends of the lent with which you see it. You are a hero if you play for your family and a villain if you play against them. Honor is not that simple either. Why is an oath-breaker less honorable for saving millions of lives? why is an oath-breaker better for following his heart? Do you ever really win? There’s no absolutes in this world. 

I know this is long but I have a lot to say, bare with me please. Which leads me to the leaks and promo pics. There’s been endless discussions about them, I’ve heard all kind of opinions, pro and anti. That’s why I write about them now. The leaks came very early on and with them set pics that corroborate most of them. Jonsa shippers where pissed off and disappointed. I know I was but mostly cause those weren’t little hints or clues of what’s to come but entire plot lines and episode scrips. But here are the good news. Plot lines don’t give us real context or understanding of how the characters are feeling about their situations.

- Littlefinger is plotting and pitting Sansa and Arya against each other ( doesn’t tell us if this is working, it’s setting a dramatic conflict. Guess what? This is a drama)

- Jonsa is having arguments and they are separated the whole season (doesn’t said in which terms, we haven’t seen any dialogues there)

- Jonerys is having sex (according to the leaks they meet in the second episode, get separated at the third and reunited and have sex in the seventh. It took Jon and Igrytte 10 episodes with no separations to finally get in bed together…. and they were in love) And since the structure of the show gives us an average of 10 minutes per character each episode, sometimes even less. How are they gonna develop a real relationship there?

Lots of characters haven’t been mentioned in the leaks either. I doubt they don’t have story arcs this year. Also most of the leaks were predictable and very plausibles. Jon meeting Theon and being super angry at him (we all saw that coming). Jonerys meeting (at this point of the story it’s necessary). Arya and Bran coming home, also very necessary. Sansa is taking care of littlefinger…super necessary. Euron is siding with Cercei, yeap, very predictable. All the signs are in the last season.

JONSA  AND JONERYS THOUGHTS

I’m a jonsa shipper. I’m a shipper but I love good stories more. When one of my ships don’t work on a narrative level I understand. What frustrates me is when writers try to fit a ship  as fan service. Now, I’m not a Danerys fan. The only moments I get to enjoy her story is when she learns something and show some humility. Unfortunately this is not very often. I love Tyrion and Jorah. Her best moments so far has been with them cause they are actually smarter than her and humble. Danerys has been since season 2 very entitle, very proud, she even crowned herself (until you get to Westeros and you are appointed you don’t have a real crown, otherwise everybody can be crowned). Saying you are king or queen doesn’t make you either of them as the show has proven so far. Dario said last season she wasn’t born to sit in a palace and give orders, she is a conqueror (very different from being a ruler). She lacks humility which Jon has in spades.                             Her story has been very separated from all the important ones and that’s everybody complain, mine too. That’s why excite me she is finally making it to Westeros, her story will actually matter. It can be argue that Jon story has been separated from everybody too but he is a Stark (ok, %50 Stark) but a Stark nevertheless and all that happened in Kings landing and the North affects him for that reason. I love Jon, he is my guy.

Putting aside my feelings for Danerys, having J/D falling in love doesn’t do any real service to the story, at least not from my point of view. They would be a terrible couple. She is power hungry, wants the Iron throne more than anything and will do anything for it. Jon wants to serve the people, fight for their lifes. Danerys wants a king just in title, she wants to rule alone. Jon doesn’t want power but he knows he wasn’t born to be a submissive husband either. They would be fighting to be on top all the time. Two people on the top at the same time is physical and mentally imposible. As I said before the plot leaks don’t give too much room for a romance development there, everybody is busy doing their thing, but we won’t know until we see. If what the show is trying to do is a political alliance by marriage then why jonerys would have sex first and soo quickly? It can only go downhill from there ( that’s actually good news for jonsa shippers). Also Jon parentage revelation will be huge. It will change everything for whoever makes it into the final season. That’s what excite me the most. If jonerys hook up I really hope it serves the story somehow and not be just fan service.

I needed to get through jonerys first so I could explain why jonsa makes more sense narratively speaking. Sansa and Jon started being so idealist and they had a hard awaken to the world. They endured so much to be who they are right now, they were the last people they expected to rely on at the end, and that makes it even better for me. While everybody was hyped for a reunion between Jon and Arya (that would be awesome) I found jonsa more suitable.Two characters we have never seen interacting with each other but with previous history. Both really free for the first time, both damaged, both carrying their scars and still feeling the pain. Jon needed purpose and Sansa had a big one. All their scenes together were a delight to watch, from their first meeting, through the fights and the “we have to trust each other” moment. That’s how you develop a relationship. No sex there, no making out session, that last one was a real intimated moment. Aside from my enjoyment of Kit Harington and Sophie Turner on screen chemistry and the way their scenes were edited and directed, jonsa works narratively as an end game. Jon could die at the end, that’s a real possibility, I know. But damn, Jonsa getting married at the end for political reasons, for duty, to keep the North and the realm together is far more satisfying. Cat said this to Robb once, what Ned and she had grew stronger and lasted longer than passion. I’m team Stark all the way, that’s the family we spend more time with, we are rooting for them, for Ned’s family. 

Me:

A lovely meta was sent by a nonny and just had to share it for the Jonsa perspective.

Oh yes my kink is seeing ppl happy and enjoying themselves and letting them ship whoever or whatever they want because honestly if my tumblr could be anything, it’ll be for anyone to have a good time, a good laugh and just see that there’s always a silver lining no matter what. Life is hard and can’t let that get to you. If any of my silly posts made you smile then my work is done 😊 Oh and sorry for the bad jokes/puns lol. Also, for this less than eloquent reply.

And I ship JonSa like it’s the air I breathe lol I have been since the books (low key) - their POVs and values are so similar like how a couple should be.

So imagine me when S6 came, I pounced on it with everything I had in me, that ship gives me life!! And so I am glad to have found a fantastic fandom right here on tumblr and Jonsa shippers are just the best! (really they are!)

Thank you for the mail Nonny!! Bless you and hope you’re having a great day wherever you are!! And yes, Jonsa for life babyyy!! 😘

[itsshadowcube-blog]

Character Analysis: Bob’s Burgers; Bob and Linda Belcher

While watching the show, Bob’s Burgers for the up-teenth time, I realized in a whirl of excitement, that the majority of the characters enveloped or personified certain mental illnesses.  Now, you might say that I am grasping at straws; the show is full of laughs and relatable characters.  How could mental illness come into play?  Let me explain. Bob’s Burgers is, on the surface, a “slice of life” comedy that follows a family and their restaurant in quirky adventures and relatable hardships of lower-middle-class families.  We watch as the three Belcher children find themselves in everyday activities, at school, in social constructs and we can not help but find ourselves relating to them when we were younger.  Bob and Linda Belcher, the parents and owners of Bob’s Burgers, run their restaurant from below their small apartment and most often showcase “relationship goals” in the way that they seem to completely go together and flow effortlessly with each other. 

They support their children in all avenues of their personality and encourage them to be the best of themselves.  This is brought to light with the eldest daughter, Tina, openly writes about her erotic friend fiction. She has no problem with writing in her diary, only to have her family go behind her back (and in some cases, sit in for a reading) and look through her thoughts and feelings.  Their son, Gene, is a young lad that has a great affinity with music, food, and his own bodily functions.  This seems to get somewhat annoying to the family, but being the Belchers, they still accept their son for who he is.  Louise, the youngest of the three, is a mastermind.  She looks as if she takes enjoyment from causing havoc, relishing in the adrenalin rush that comes with it.  Often times, we can hear her talking in the background as she encourages others to act on their impulses.

From this brief synopsis of the show and it’s main characters, it seems obvious that each of the children exhibits some kind of mental illness.  But, what of the parents?  The power couple made up of Bob and Linda, are the personification of bipolar disorder. This is showcased by their interactions together and when alone.

Please note that all this information is based on my own personal experiences and small research into bipolar disorder.

Bob: The particarch of the family, has it all; a loving family, a caring wife, and his own business that he built from the ground up.  He experiences the hardships of being his own boss, as well as taking in great joy in his work; making burgers. In many episodes, we see him interact with his landlord, Mr. Fischoeder (I’m going to be doing an anylsis of Calvin and Felix at another time), telling him that the rent will either late, or short.  From a business perspective, Mr. Fischoeder could easily evict the Belcher family, but chooses not to. (Again, this will be explained in his anylasis).  Across the street, Bob works against his mortal enemy, JImmy Pesto; he running a far more successful italian resturant.

Bob has a great passion for cooking, that dispite his poor resturant sales, never fails to get him noterity from celeberty chefs and even his landlord.  During the holidays, he takes his time to prepare the best meal, breaking down cooking a turkey in a cheap oven a complex science.  While cooking burgers, or a holday feast, we can see him talking to the food and giving it a personality as he carries on a conversation with himself.  On the surface, we can see this as a thing that he does, and just like the rest of his families quirks, is accepted, and take enjoyment in it.  However, watching the 8 seasons over and over, it starts to become a sad reality, and begs me to question why he does so.

It is pointed out multiple times in the series, that Bob does not have anyone that he really considers a friend (with the exception of a single friend who is a weathly entrepreneur).  Even taking muliple seasons to accept that Teddy, a regular customer and repairman, is in fact one of his best friends.  But, why is this?  We can chalk it up to the fact that making and keeping friends, quality friends, is a hard thing to do.  Made harder by working and owning a business and being a family man. 

Or, it could be his personality.  He has a rough sense of humor that often fails to make it’s mark.  Even at times, his own family does not understand it.  Or, it could be a completely different reason altogether; he is clinically, chronically depressed.  In the show, he remarks to his children about how great it was growing up in his father’s resturant, and working there.  But, upon closer inspection and an “oh shit” moment, it becomes clear that he did not infact have the wonderful childhood he thought he had.

His depression is made apparent in how he speaks in a monotone, though part of that could be because of his voice actor, H. Jon Benjamin.  But, I do not believe that that is not the case, since Benjamin also voices many other characters, including the voice of international superspy Archer, in the show, Archer, who is has an animated personality. Everything seems to be a chore, even if cooking is his life’s passion.  He moves slowly, is not often impressed (or sees things as lack luster) or too often exciteable, and seems to constantly portray the world and a horrible place.

Linda: A wife and mother to three children, Linda is the shoulders that holds the family together.  She supports her husnband in his buisness, being the waitress, wating on the far and few between customers, outside the regulars.  She is smart, beautiful, and talented; all compontents that Bob finds vaulable.

She sings and dances, often times chorographing her own songs during business hours.  Linda is a dreamer, in the simplist sense.  She constantly projects an unearthly positivity, keeping the family Belcher up more often than down.  She encourages her children to do activities that make them happy, supporting them when they question their hobbies.

For all intents and purposes, Linda Belcher seems to be the glue that holds the family together.  We watch her as she fights along side her children and her husband when they get in trouble, being the mothely lion that we would love to see in everday society, and personally, someone who I strive to be. 

From her interactions on the phone, and when they come into Bob’s Burgers, we can see that Linda is not short on friends.  And, at times, tells theatrical stories of the racoons that live behind her apartment.  She acts on impulse, becoming uncontraollably exciteable at inappropriate times.  Not only this, but she acts financially impulsive.  This is made evident through out the show, when she sells an esppresso machine in order to put her son, Gene, into baseball camp, though he does not enjoy the sport and shows no interest in it.

With this basis, I have concluded that Linda, is the manic part of bipolar.  And, looking into her family, it is not a far off thought. Her sister, Gayle who appears to have some kind of mental illness all her own as she struggles to live in her tiny studio apartment, hold a job, or a romantic partner.  Growing up, it becomes apparent that there was some kind of contest between the two sisters, and though they love each other, part of them resents the other.

Taking both of these characters together, it seems overwhelmingly possible that they could, together, be the personification of bipolar; Bob being the depressive episodes and Linda being manic. Alone, we can see that they fully encompass these two extremes.  It would look that if the two had never met, their world and their power together would be non-existent.  In an episode when Bob begins to lose his famous mustache, which we learn, Linda loves profusely, Tina makes up a scenario where the two had not met, with some role reversal with other characters, and they are not the Bob and Linda that we have come to know and love.

But, how does this make them a power couple?  When hearing the term bipolar, most people tend to shy away, thinking that there is something incredibly wrong.  While this can be true in most instances, it is not the case in the Belchers.  I believe that these two extremes that they exhibit actually make them strong as individuals and as a couple.  In a sense, they balance each other out. Similar to the concept of Ying and Yang.

Bob is level-headed, mostly, in his business.  He takes into account all the odds and ins of running a business and in doing so, is able to lean on his wife when he needs to.  When he becomes discouraged by events that could make or break his families way of life, Linda is there beside him, bringing him from the ashes. 

Linda is a romantic free spirit, that often forgets to land.  She fails to see the forest for the trees, and this tends to crush her momentum.  When this happens, Bob is there to calm her down, which in turn, ignites her passionate flame.  When she rises once more, instead of flying alone, she takes the hand of her husband, that had just reminded her with his own positivity (which he takes from Linda).

Together, they are able to overcome many obstacles in their life.  In doing so, they laugh and learn, once more cherishing every moment they have built up to that point.  It is my theory and taking part of my own experiences, that though they are two extremes of a complete whole, they even each other out.  Much like the instances of when I become manic, I know I am going to crash.  However, in preparation for that, my depression begins to take the manic energy, to keep a slower, more methodical approach to achieving the goal.

This personal correlation, the highs, and lows working together to create an even working space are why I believe that Bob and Linda work so well together.  It can be argued that this is just a healthy relationship at work. And you would be right.  Though they have their own personalities, wants and dreams, they still continue to support each other in a loving environment.  And, they could just be that.  A realistic and optimist that have found a rhythm in which they create a beautiful world.

Next, we will be looking into the children.  What do they seem to possess?

[drewkatchen]

Chris on his back patio | Jersey City, NJ | June, 28, 2017 | Pentax 67

As someone I would consider a friend, Chris Leo is only someone I’ve known for about a year, having first met him on a summer day just as he began running PS, his charming subterranean wine bar in Downtown Jersey City. Yet it’s been an impactful year, especially for me, since I got married at the tail end of winter, and that small bar played an outsized part in my celebration. On a snowy day in March, my husband and I had our wedding reception at PS, a homey stone basement perfect for a frigid afternoon. It was a ten-hour marathon filled with close friends and family, and it struck me as unique and cool that at some point in the proceedings, Chris was behind the bar serving drinks to everyone in my family, including my younger brother Matt and co-worker Sara, both for whom old-fashioneds appeared to be their life’s blood that day.

As someone whose music has existed on my turntables and portable music devices, Chris Leo is someone I have known easily for more than twenty years. When as a mere teenager, I encountered his earliest band Native Nod, a group from suburban New Jersey, they along with many others helped broaden my palate beyond just simplistic hardcore songs and music with any discernible ideology or dogma. And then it continued to broaden. As he grew musically and continued to develop as a musician, I followed his output from The Van Pelt and through to The Lapse. His chosen genre was guitar-based, a quirky and lyric-heavy branch on the indie rock tree that has its roots in the do-it-yourself punk community. 

In college, my closest friend wore a baby blue Van Pelt shirt until it became sheer or until he lost it, and one time we piled into a shitty car on spring break and drove to the snowy tundra of Romulus, Michigan for a three-day music festival where The Van Pelt were one of the primary reasons we made the perilous and perhaps counterintuitive journey. Who seeks out snow for spring break? We did.

It’s also no secret Chris comes from a musical family, and the music his brothers have created and released over the years have also proven essential for me. To this day, I have a friend who swears by Danny Leo’s ‘Up With What I’m Down With,’ a record he released seventeen years ago that a few people truly truly cherish.

But over the past year, my husband and I (and sometimes my good friend and neighbor Jon) have gone to PS enough for drinks to the point where now Chris feels like a cherished friend of ours. We hug; we text frequently about dance music. I guess for me he is an old friend on account of that one-sided, longtime fan thing that I carry around with me. I’d like to think I’ve always been graceful whenever I’m at the bar having a drink and asking Chris about his musical past, but knowing me, I’m sure that I am not. He, on the other hand, is very graceful, and handles any invasive inquiries with pure aplomb and openness. Thanks Chris; I mean well.

Last month, I asked him if I could talk to him with a recording device rolling, about how his life led him to where he is now and why his band, The Van Pelt, have decided to play live again this summer. He has given a few interviews in this little cycle, but maybe I feel a bit more privileged because we did it over a really nice bottle of chilled wine and his dog Charlie was around. 

What follows is the first part of a lengthy discussion spanning two locations. Tomorrow or the next day, I will post the second portion of our discussion wherein Chris continues to discuss his relationship with music.

If you find yourself in Jersey City, please visit Chris’ bar on the corner of Newark and Jersey Avenues; It’s a really nice place. And, of course, go and see The Van Pelt on their July tour.

Can you tell me who you are and what you do?

My name is Chris Leo, and I currently run a wine importing and distribution company called The Maritime Republic Imports. And during the night, I run a wine bar in Jersey City. My importing company is strictly New Jersey based as well.

How did your life’s arc lead you to this?

There were two concurrent paths that led me here. One current is as musicians in the nineties and I imagine now too when you’re not on tour, you’re working in restaurants. The restaurant business is one of the go-tos. You can quit; you can find a job in another restaurant. Most musicians do it begrudgingly. It’s not like they go to work in a restaurant and think this is what they’re going to do with their life. It’s like ‘This is what I’m doing between tours. Until we make it big; until we fuckin hit it.’ I would say half of my day jobs while I was making music were food and beverage oriented. Let’s say before tour I would be a bar back, then I’d go on tour, I’d come back and now I would be a bartender. And then I’d go on tour again, and I’d come back and now I’m head bartender. Every time I would go back to food and beverage I would have this inevitable promotion. There would be four or five month gaps. I really didn’t want to be there.

You would tour for four or five months out of the year?

I would tour for maybe eight months out of the year.

With the Van Pelt or the Lapse?

The Lapse and then Vague Angels actually toured the most. It’s funny; the less successful my band, the more I toured.

To make it more successful?

Probably, yeah. Whereas with The Van Pelt maybe we weren’t on tour all the time, but we were always playing shows…every weekend. We’d do Boston, Northampton, New Haven or Pittsburgh, Cleveland, Philly. Things like that.

So you do that, and in the meantime you’re picking up a light acumen of the beverages around you at work?

Exactly. Yes. Then after so many years of doing this and after my ‘come to Jesus’ moment that I’m never going to make enough money off music to survive.

When did that come?

That really came in 2007, which is pretty late. If you count Native Nod [Chris’ band prior to The Van Pelt]. Do we count Native Nod?

I’m not sure. Was Native Nod’s intent to become a bigger band? Wasn’t your goal just to play basement shows and release a seven-inch?

Yeah. And actually, same thing with The Van Pelt until people started to care. So, let’s say 1994 to 2007; that’s thirteen years where I thought it might be possible.

But you’re still young though.

That’s true.

Before we continue, is there anything off limits in this discussion?

No.

What does it do to your psyche to come from a musical family? Was there sibling competition?

When I was young it was mostly just support. I’m not the only one doing this; they’re doing it too. I really had no perspective on this; I didn’t think it was a crazy thing to pursue. I knew that it was a long shot, but I didn’t think it was crazy to go for the long shot because my brothers were also going for it and so were most of my friends. So it was mostly support. But as we got older, our styles from our little micro-world diverged. But to me, what I make sounds nothing like what my other brothers make and I’m sure they think the same. So there’s never been any competition.

And I’ve never liked performing, so I take myself out of that part of it. It’s not fun for me to perform. I like the writing part of it; I like the touring part of it; I love meeting people, but my memories of touring and music, it’s almost like I don’t remember being on stage. There’s like an hour of every night that I’m just kinda like ‘eh.’

Usually people say the opposite. People like the hour where they can let loose a bit on tour.

I hated that part. Very, very, very rarely. There were some concerts that I love, but mostly I feel awkward on stage and having people look at me.

So you got to a point in your life where you realized music wasn’t sustainable.

There was one tour I went on in 2007 that I thought was great; I thought I performed well every night. And it just didn’t go anywhere. And maybe that’s why I don’t like being onstage. Music is a very reciprocal art. I can write for myself in a vacuum all day long and be content with it. There’s something about music to me that’s reciprocal. It’s a sharing thing, and I don’t like the pressure to share. No one cared about what I was doing musically, so I was like ‘Alright, it’s time for me to think about what else I can do.’ And also, I played guitar for a couple bands; I tried to not be the lead man for a few bands and even that didn’t work out.

After that, for me it was just a question of what do I find so interesting that I want to pursue it for my life and I was torn between food and beverage. And if I was to do that, I would have to fine tune what it was within that I wanted to do.

Where did you work?

I worked at almost every vegetarian restaurant in the city in the nineties.

So Kate’s and Angelica.

Actually, Kate’s and Angelica no. Candle Café, Pure. I worked on and off at the Soho Grand Hotel for ten years. I was the bar manager for these kind of outdoor dance parties, Sunday’s Best. I was a bar consultant and bartender for a dance club in the Lower East Side called BEast. It was by the mid-aughts that I was like ‘Ok, if I really want to make a career out of this, I have to start working with the notable chefs of the world.’ So I worked with April Bloomfield and then I went out west and worked for one of the [Mario] Batali/[Lidia] Bastianich/Nancy Silverton restaurants. Mozza, it was called.

Actually, if we can, what are we drinking right now?

We are having a Riesling from Alsace. There’s a style of making wine in Europe that is called a co-op. Cooperative. Historically, the cooperatives made terrible wine. The way a co-op works is let’s say a hundred farmers have an acre. With an acre of land, it’s not really worth it for you to start your own winery because all you have is an acre of land. So what you do is pool your resources and you make wine together.

So like a punk house but with wine.

Yes, but it could never function in America. It’s this really cool kind of communist model. The only problem is it was based on quantity and not quality. And, back in the day, people drank more wine in Europe than they do now.

Didn’t know that.

The youth have found beer and cocktails. Once the youth stopped drinking so much wine, the co-ops had two choices: They could keep making crap, and if they were going to make crap, they could sell the excess to China.

Why China?

Because they’re just getting into wine, so they’re still drinking crap. But they’re China, so they won’t put up with it for much longer. But for now they’re drinking crap. Or they’re willing to drink crap. The co-ops could also up their game, make better wine and sell it to the American market, which was drinking crap 10-20 years ago but now are not. So, the point is, it’s a really good time to find co-op wines.

This wine, I might taste grapefruit, but I don’t know if that’s accurate or not. I know zero about wine.

I think that’s a good call. Being a natural wine, you might also get some yeast, some breadiness, like some brioche.

I’m not getting that.

No?

No, maybe a little asparagus?

Ooh, asparagus.

But I don’t know why. I’m getting like grapefruit hard, which is fine because I like it. But let me ask, why wine? How did you decide that is what you were really interested in?

I don’t drink crappy beer; I’m kind of a beer snob. I love beer, but it’s got to be delicious. When you’re on tour, you get free beer, but it’s free crap beer. No PBR for me; I won’t drink that stuff.

Wait wait…if I may. I’m going to do this and I have no shame.

What? San Miguel? [The Van Pelt song ‘Do the Lovers Still Meet at the Chiang Kai-Shek Memorial’ begins with the lyric ‘Where’s that San Miguel when you need one?’]

Yep.

The fact that I can sing about San Miguel and have it be this thing that tremendously relaxes me the way a blunt or a Xanax would speaks to what industrial beer does to me. For me, ‘Where’s the San Miguel when you need one?’ means I’m gonna have two San Miguels and then I’m done. The same thing with Coors or Pacifico, I’ll have a few maybe if that’s what’s available and I really need it.

The point is, I would be on tour and there would be this free beer and I would be like “Hey man, can I get tequila or whiskey? Can I get wine?’ I always liked wine. On the rider also, you would get beer and I would have some more luck there.

You got to a point where you had a rider? Nice.

Well in Europe even crappy bands get riders. They’re civilized over there. They feed you and house you. So I had luck getting wine, and I had luck getting local wine. I was really fortunate to go around Europe while on tour tasting all these local wines before I knew anything about it.

Do you recall one that really converted you?

In fact, I do. The band was The Lapse, the location was Nuremberg, Germany and the wine was a Dornfelder. Germany is a beer culture, so if they’re gonna make wine, it’s going to be good. Why make crap wine? German wines are usually pretty good. Dornfelder is kind of a crappy wine; it’s always sweet for some reason. Maybe it just spoke of a place, but maybe because it’s a sweet wine I found it interesting. Obviously there were other experiences like that. Concurrent with that, I started going to Italy more and more; I started dating the woman who is now my wife. I was studying Italian even before I met my wife because I was always touring Italy. So I thought “I like wine; I have a ton of friends in Italy; I’m learning this language” And I had the existential problem in the states of how I was going to make money. I thought ‘Wait a second…wine.’

I only met you last year despite knowing your music since I was a teen. Did you go to college? Did you ever consider a straight job?

I went to NYU for education. And I taught for three years in the NYC Board of Education and I coached soccer. I used to get paid really well for that. I just felt like I was a martyr for no good reason. I’m making music; I’m struggling to stay awake to watch Seinfeld at 11 at night and that’s when all my friends are just getting going. And then concurrent with that I was hanging out way later on the weekends and touring with bands.

After you began learning more about wine, what was the first real step you took in that direction?

I was a manager at the Soho Grand Hotel, and I noticed there was no in-house sommelier. So I had them pay for me to go to school so I could become the sommelier. This was in 2009 or 2010. I still wasn’t exactly sure then that it was going to be wine, but I knew that I really liked wine. And that was it. Once I had my first go at it, there was no turning back.

Based on what?

Based on the fact that humans have five senses and for the bulk of my life I’ve just been using two and a half. Most of us totally disregard our sense of smell and taste. We don’t critically think about it; we’re illiterate. It’s just like not being able to read a book.

So wine made you feel more plugged into that?

Yes. I liked the idea of coming from an artistic background. I liked the idea of knowing I was imparting myself with knowledge but not really being able to articulate what that knowledge is and what it’s good for. But it’s enjoyable. So that’s one side of it. The other side of it is you don’t want to drink every day. But with wine it’s not just about drinking; there’s geography, geology, language, culture, science. Whatever I was interested in that day whether it was geology or science, even if I didn’t want to drink, I would pursue that and then I would want to drink again. It would stoke the Pavlovic dog.

Did you fall in love with certain kinds or regions or soil?

Italy is my spot. Italian wine is my jam. It’s just so food friendly. The older I get the more interested I am in cross-contaminating senses and pleasures.

To go back to music and me not liking being on stage, one of the reasons I have difficulty being on stage is that I have difficulty understanding why if you like the way a band sounds, you should like watching a band. There’s a disconnect and connection there. This wouldn’t happen ad infinitum if there were no connection there, but it’s a weird connection. For me and my band, it doesn’t sit well with me, that cross-contamination. I know it makes a lot of sense for other bands, but for my music it doesn’t.

Does that have anything to do with the fact that this band you’ll be playing with this month has a more intimate sound to it? It’s not really loud and your vocals are more spoken than singing?

It has everything to do with it. I like the small party. If I go out to a big party, I’m going to be looking for the small party in the big party. I don’t understand getting intimate with a thousand people at once. It seems disingenuous.

Continue on to part two

[shinylitwick94]

Reread A Clash of Kings. Not as good as the first book, but that had been my initial impression too, the first time I read it. I’m going to go into a little bit more detail here. 

 THERE WILL BE POTENTIAL SPOILERS for all the books, the Dunk and Egg novellas, the show, the WOIAF, TWOW sample chapters, etc.

This book drags for me, for some reason. It doesn’t drag as badly as I remember AFFC and ADWD dragging, but it still drags. Makes sense, since a lot of it is setting things up for ASOS, but it is noticeably slower than AGOT.

Once again, the sheer volume of things I missed on the first read is staggering. I barely cared about the Riverlands plotlines or Jon the first time around, so the only things I had semi clear memories of were the King’s Landing chapters, Dany’s chapters and the Winterfell chapters. And even then I pretty much missed half of what is going on.

I think a lot of this is down to the sheer amount of secondary and tertiary characters that actually do matter in these novels. The first time I read this I had no idea who the Freys, the Boltons and all of the other secondary houses were, no clue who half of the courtiers in King’s Landing were, no idea which smaller lords where on Robb’s side, or Tywin’s or Stannis’ or Renlys’. Oddly enough, in contrast with ADWD, I did remember most of the characters from Dany’s plotline and even their names and what they were doing. It was the Westerosi secondary characters I had no interest in. And that meant that things like Cat’s chapters in Riverrun or Arya’s entire plot became completely irrelevant to me. I think the only characters from Arya’s plot that I remembered with any sort of clarity were Gendry and Hot Pie. Everyone else was just a blur of sigils and names and loyalties.

Of course, actually knowing who these people are made rereading those chapters a lot more enjoyable. Especially once you start just how interconnected all of our plot threads are and you can see the beginnings of the Red Wedding(and the Purple one too), or understand what is actually going on during the battle of the Blackwater - as opposed to just thinking I get it - THEY FIGHT - now tell me who wins already. So this part I certainly found a lot more rewarding. I’m pretty sure I talked about it when I reviewed AGOT, but I did feel like it was more noticeable in ACOK. 

The plotlines I enjoyed best in this book were pretty much the same I had enjoyed the first time I read this. I liked the King’s Landing stuff, I liked Dany’s chapters, I really liked Theon and I also enjoyed Davos a lot more.

I do think adding Davos and Theon as POV here was absolutely necessary, but the POV issue is going to start snowballing hard in the next books and I’m not entirely sure if all of those additions gave us something we couldn’t have learned via raven.

Theon is definitely my favorite of the two new POVs. Davos is wonderful, but Theon is such a marvelous mess. And, of course, you get to see the whole Ramsay thing with hindsight.

This is also where GRRM starts slowing down his pace and writing in (occasional) filler chapters, namely in Arya’s storyline. I enjoyed Arya’s story a lot more this time than I did the first, since I actually understood wtf was going on, but I don’t think we needed 10 chapters to tell her story. I think a handful could have been quite easily condensed, parts of it even cut without the story suffering too much. The problem is still in its initial stages here, but this is the first time I actually looked at a chapter in these books and went “we didn’t need that at all”. It would be far less of a problem if I didn’t know it was going to get a lot worse really quickly.

Moving on to the topic of Jon/Dany/Tyrion, whom I complain about endlessly.

Cut for length.

Jon’s chapters are up there with Arya’s for being my least favorite ones in this book. The main issue here being that they’re just really, really slow and practically nothing happens. They leave the Wall, pass by Crasters’, Jon finds the dragonglass at the Fist of the First Men, Jon leaves with Qohorin and co, Jon joins the wildlings at the end. I know for some people that is a lot, or at least enough, but for me the whole thing just feels kinda meh. GRRM takes a looong time to describe every mountain wood and river north of the Wall and I’m just not that interested. It’s snowy and cold and inhospitable, we get it, no need to go over it fifty times. And most of the characters in the NW I’m just not that attached to - I can remember Mormont, Sam, Grenn, Pyp, Donal Noye, Edd and that’s about it. All the others just sort of blur together. Which, in the case of Jon “betraying” Qohorin, means that I don’t particularly feel for either of them, I just don’t know who Qohorin is and feel no reason to care about him at all. And then Jon’s narration is for the most part fairly stoic and monotone, which I can understand from a character perspective, but doesn’t really help me. All of this put together makes Jon’s chapters indescribably boring to me and this is probably the point in the series when I started actively dreading Jon’s chapters. I will note, however, that contrary to my initial impression, it’s not Jon that’s boring, just the way his story is being told.

Dany’s chapters are an interesting case for me, because I feel like a lot of what I said about Jon’s story could also be said about her. But the thing is, in the earlier Dany chapters there is a very strong sense of urgency pushing things onward and while the Qarth chapters also drag a bit, they’re also the series’ first major “big different sort of oriental city” moment, which is a lot more visually interesting to me at least than rocks and snow. There’s also a lot fewer of them, which I think is a good thing, since it means that whenever you’re with Dany, something happens - we have 5 Dany chapters to 8 Jon chapters and 15 Tyrion chapters in this. Qarth is also where we see the House of the Undying, which I really enjoyed and meet Quaithe and her creepy prophecies/advice, all of which ties in to the rest of the story and makes it feel less isolated even if she is half a planet away. And of course the arrival of “Arstan” is a lot funnier on a reread, especially since you notice just how many times characters (mostly Renly) point out that Barristan is nowhere to be found and “must have a king to serve”. Is Qarth still a little needlessly complicated? Yep. Unless we see Qarth again, there was no need whatsoever to create six different factions in that city (The Thirteen, Spicers, the whatever Brotherhood, the Pureborn, the warlocks/Undying, Quaithe). I get that part of that is worldbuilding, but it’s also super confusing. Fortunately most names are pronounceable here. So I did enjoy Dany this time.

ACOK is Tyrion’s finest hour. It’s the one where he’s in charge, making decisions, mostly good ones, helping save King’s Landing, calling Joffrey and Cersei out, etc. The result of this is that despite having so many chapters, nearly all of them matter. I do think one or two of them could have been condensed, but it doesn't feel like an issue because he’s doing stuff all the time and it’s stuff that matters, because he matters. He’s also close to other interesting characters, like Joff, Cersei, the members of the small council and Sansa, who the reader is already invested in, which again make his chapters feel a lot more lively. Essentially this is the Tyrion that everyone knows and loves and the Tyrion even I can appreciate without feeling guilty about it.

In ACOK we are introduced to a bunch of new characters, or at least characters we’d heard of before but never seen, like Stannis and his crew, the Tyrells, the Greyjoys, Ramsay and our first real wildlings. It makes the world feel a lot bigger and a lot more impressive, but it’s also harder to keep up with everything going on at the same time.

This is also where things take the first really unexpected turn downhill for the Starks, Ned’s death aside. I was completely shocked and horrified at Theon’s actions here the first time, and I still wanted to throw him inside a vat of acid during the reread, even knowing what’s coming for him. I also feel like the fall of Winterfell is a lot less foreshadowed than the Red Wedding. You have a million pieces set up in this book(and maybe even AGOT?) leading up to that. The fall of Winterfell comes out of nowhere and is pure Theon being an ass. I felt that this, combined with the darkness of Cat and Arya’s chapters made this book feel a lot more depressing than the first one.

Favorite POV: Tyrion, there’s no stealing that from him this time. Theon is also pretty impressive, for different reasons.

Least favorite POV:Jon, for the reasons above. Arya’s a close second, but the reread made those more enjoyable

Favorite scene: Renly’s peach. The only thing that saddens me is that the show thought of “is he a ham?” and GRRM didn’t. I also really enjoyed the House of the Undying.

Favorite character: Theon, for being such a wonderful little shit. Followed by Arya. Her chapters may drag, but she’s still a joy to read.

Least favorite character: Tough to say. Let’s go with Tywin. I really didn’t realize how much shit he put the people of the Riverlands through the first time.

[birnblog]

Check out our latest article and interview, written by Jonathan O’Neal.

Anvil is celebrating 40 years of pounding metal and has taken to the road to reconnect with its fans. Lauded as one of the founding fathers of heavy metal, Anvil continues to rock audiences around the world. I caught their first show of the tour in Allston, Massachusetts at Great Scott. After their set, I ran into the band at their merchandise booth and told how Ronnie James Dio hyped me to their music. They thought that was the coolest thing and Steve “Lips” Kudlow, the lead singer and guitarist, got very emotional from that. After our discussion, the band invited me to their show at Webster Hall in New York City. I couldn’t decline. 

On the bus ride to the New York concert, I thought about the history of the band. 40 YEARS! The band has been around as long as Motörhead and has influenced bands like Metallica, Megadeth, Anthrax and Slayer (also known as the big 4 of thrash metal). The Canadian metal band consists of founding members Steve “Lips” Kudlow on guitar and vocals, Robb Reiner on drums, and current bassist Chris Robertson. Since 1978, they have released 16 albums and were featured in the 2008 rock documentary, “Anvil: The Story of Anvil”. The cult hit documentary highlights the struggles of being in a band and never giving up to get to the top, which now defines their music career and has helped the band achieve fame and reach new audiences. 

From a musician’s perspective, the show itself was inspirational and powerful.  It was packed with old school Anvil fans and a lot of respected musicians in the metal community. The moment Anvil hit the stage and struck that power chord, Lips made his way into the crowd, yelling into the pickup of his guitar, “Good evening, New York! Anvil is Anvil and we play heavy metal!” They kicked right into the defining instrumental of the band, ‘March of the Crabs’. The entire crowd was head banging with Lips as he worked the crowd, connecting face to face with audience members in a way I’ve never seen in a concert. They played classics like ‘666’, ‘Ooh Baby’, ‘Winged Assassins’, and ‘Mothra’, which featured Lips’ infamous guitar solo with a vibrator! After the show, I sat down with Lips to talk about music business, the history of the band and their influences. Lips revealed what called “the philosophy of Anvil” as the secret to the band’s success and longevity with metal fans today. Lips’ passion for music and performing was evident throughout our conversation. 

Jon: First off, I wanted to congratulate you all on 40 years of Anvil. I think it’s really cool that you guys are still out playing and doing this. 

Lips: Thanks! What else would I be doing? Ha ha.

Jon: Did you ever expect that Anvil would make it this far, knowing the history of the band and all the ups and downs that have come along the way?

Lips: Oh, absolutely! I’ve always seen us making it this far, and I did it exactly the way I had originally planned by staying under the line and not above it, where it tends to disappear as fast as it comes on. It’s about never selling out. Never becoming a commercial commodity. Not becoming Ivory soap or Pepsodent toothpaste, you know?

Jon: What would you consider that the theme of your latest release, Anvil is Anvil? The lyrics in songs like “Gun Control” and “Die for a Lie” are pretty honest and straightforward with the meanings behind those songs.

Lips: Of course! It’s also interesting in songs like “Gun Control” where people jump to conclusions of me being against guns. I’m not against guns and I’m not for them. It’s a fact of life whether you like it or not and that’s the way I look at it. The statement being made is the general view of, “This is what’s happening and this is the way we look at those things sometimes.” It’s mostly addressing that we all lose when people do wrong things with them.

Jon: That makes perfect sense. I thought it was really cool that Sacha was here at the show tonight! After the documentary was released, do you think that it helped amplify the longevity of Anvil’s career?

Lips: More than I could ever imagine! It’s great when this happened because in the early 80s we made a bad choice on who was managing us. We were right at the point of going above the line and when it didn’t work out, everything was lost in way. At that point I thought to myself, “Okay. So it didn’t work out. That’s okay because I’ll stay underground and I’ve got a huge following in Europe so how hard would it be to continue?” Which was absolutely correct. We were able to continue for years putting out album after album thinking, “One day, when one of my fans grows up, he’ll own a record company and sign me.” I was a little bit off the mark because one of my fans (Sacha) grew up to be a screenwriter. Next thing I know, I’m making a movie. So initially what I thought when everything fell through was that everything I had dreamed of came true and there was a lot respect for the philosophy of Anvil which not doing it for the money and not selling out. I did it because I’m a musician and I love to play. That’s what I am. I never lost touch of the people. That’s what metal is really about. 

Jon: That’s what Ronnie (James Dio) told me when he told me about Anvil. That’s the whole reason why I got into your music in the first place; because it was honest and you didn’t care about the money at all. It’s really cool seeing bands go out and doing what they love for the hell of it.

Lips: And not following trends and creating music that was ours and ours alone. We never wanted to change that. You work a whole lifetime to create a style, why would you want to lose that uniqueness? I feel like that’s a big mistake that many bands make. You look at bands like AC/DC and they never changed their style. Black Sabbath was still Black Sabbath from the beginning to the end of their lifespan. You can buy any album and it would be a prime example of them. That was something we strived to do. The chemistry of the band has never felt this way since the early days. The band became a trio instead of the classic four-piece because of the chemistry. For example, Robb and I have always been the nucleus and I do most of the writing, but the stuff around it could make a huge difference particularly in the live element. If you got the right guy and it matches the band, you’ve got magic! 

Jon: This example being Chris (Roberston)?

Lips: That’s Right! It took a better part of 37 years to get back to where we are at the very beginning. You had a guitar player who can sing, a hell of a drummer and now a bass player who had a voice that was conducive to my voice. That’s not something you see every day. When I started working with Chris, I immediately flipped out when I heard his voice because sonically it was the most satisfying thing. On top of that, when he’s playing with Robb’s bass drum parts, I’ve never heard any band sound like that!

Jon: On the subject of bands, what are some influences for you as a guitar player?

Lips: A huge influence for me would have to be Uncle Ted (Nugent), and it’s because it’s blues-based and it’s got soul. He says and plays it like it is. Some people may not agree with his political views, but he’s honest about it. That’s one of the many things I have in common with him. Another one would be Michael Schenker. I somehow feel like I’m attached to him in some way. I’ve had the chance to meet his family a couple times and we’ve been friends for years. Other ones would be Angus (Young) and Tony Iommi. No one could surpass Tony. He’s the guy that started it all for me as far as metal goes. Robb could vouch for me when I say that one of his biggest influences was Buddy Rich. He was practically the metal drummer of jazz guys. Robb and I got the chance to meet him a couple months before he passed away and he was the nicest human being I’ve ever met. I’ll never forget that day.

Jon: Last but not least, is there any advice you could give to the Berklee community, specifically the metal community, for bands wanting to make a career out of music? 

Lips: You’ve got to find yourself first. Being original is the most important thing in this world. Do something you know no one else can do. Keep rocking, Berklee.

You can find more info on Anvil at:

https://www.facebook.com/anvilmetal

Instagram @anvil.metal

Twitter @AnvilMetal666