#i cried a bit that was stressful

[muddypyro]

here's a test using 2 layered glazes, another attempt to create not only a matte surface but a stable crystalline glaze, this time using a strontium-based matte recipe with a 'standard' crystalline top layer.

kinda gross, right?! the faded looking part is acid etched, which brought out a good deal more contrast in the crystals, shown by the lighter rings and brighter center that's the more glossy part. so i will be working on changing the second layer, which is the fun crystalline part, to adjust oxides and/or other components to see what's possible with this. despite looking dreary, it has the most wonderfully buttery-smooth satin-matte surface and that's a huge win.

and where the crystalline layer was sprayed on heavy, some really cool galaxy-ish stuff started happening, with strong iridescence and milky goodness. maybe it's just a matter of application thickness?

gonna find out soon. everything survived the bisque firing and planning a new glaze firing in the next few days.

btw... this website stuff is just the worst and fills me with intense anxiety and agony. just spent a good 2 hours running laps after making one [still quite unknown...] change that erased half the site. [i've had an entire external hard drive crash just before transferring colleges with 5+ years of files that are still gone and today's event kinda felt like that] thankfully, ended up being able to restore an old version from last night after what seemed to be thousands of attempts to mend the apparent broken links.

genuine mad respect for those who do this stuff and know it well! i'll just stick to playing with mud, y'all can have your damned technology

[starry-bi-sky]

I'm in A Mood™ (stressed) so im going back to my roots of melting two character together into one person. So bruce wayne!danny fenton. Danny Fenton who, for eight years, grew up in a beautiful gothic manor with his mom and dad under the name "Bruce Wayne". Playing piano with his mother, running around the manor with his father.

Then when he's eight it's ripped away from him. There's blood on his hands and pearls pooling at his feet, and both his parents are dead in front of him.

And he gets shipped off to distant relatives "the Fentons" shortly after, Alfred close on his heels because someone needs to take care of him, someone that knows him. Bruce goes to the Fentons for the safety of anonymity. Gotham's press wants to sink its teeth into him.

Danny misses his city even if it took everything from him. There are shadows in his eyes and he's pale as a sheet even beside his distant cousins, and they change his name to "Danny Fenton' because nobody should know that their newest child was illustrious orphan Bruce Wayne.

They call him Bruce behind closed doors. Danny prefers it that way, he clings onto the name -- the one his parents gave him -- like a lifeline. He makes friends with Sam and Tucker. Tucker takes one look at the willowy, morbid little boy standing in the corner like a shade, ghosts in his eyes, and drags him out into the sunlight, and takes him over to Sam.

When Danny is twelve, he's still not over it -- and he's a little obsessed with the Fentons' research, with the morbid. He has books upon books on death, murder, detective work. Anything he can get his hands on. And stars. He loves stars.

Alfred owns the apartment next to them and comes over regularly. Danny clings to him.

When Danny is twelve, he's still quiet, meek, a shy little thing prone to being bullied. Freaky little Fenton with the night in his eyes and too-cold skin even before he put one foot in the grave. in a sleepover in his room with Sam and Tucker, he tells them the truth. They're his friends, he trusts them.

"My name is Bruce." he murmurs, voice quiet as the breeze, always quiet. he's staring at his star-covered sheets.

"Like Bruce Wayne?" Tucker asks, a joking tone in his voice.

Danny smiles a little, lamb-like with insecurity. "I am Bruce Wayne." And he takes them down to the lab, disrupting Maddie and Jack, to prove it. Sam tells them of her own wealth then shortly after. They start calling Danny "Bruce" in private too -- its trust. Thats what it is. It's trust.

Sam goes to media functions and comes back with aching feet and complaints on her tongue -- and Danny soaks it up all like a sponge, splayed across a beanbag chair with Tucker in her room. He's not envious of her, he used to go to events with his parents and they kept him safe from the ugly of Gotham's Elite. For the most part. He's had comments made at him, he doesn't miss them.

Alfred returns to the manor semi-regularly, Danny goes with him. he wanders the hallways and helps Alfred clean, the last thing either of them want is for their home to fall into disrepair. He brings Jazz with him next time, then Tucker, then Sam. They all help him clean, and he shows them his room. The one across from his parents', it feels strange.

When Danny dies when he's fourteen, the first adult he tells is Alfred. He and Jazz go over to his house more often than they stay in the Fentonworks building. At least at Alfred's, the food doesn't come to life. Alfred sits at the kitchen table and weeps when Danny tells him, Jazz is upstairs, and its just the two of them.

Danny's ghost form wears pearls around his wrist and the gloves look stained with some kind of black substance. He looks like a child who died in a lab accident, but he also looks like a child who has shadows dripping off his shoulders, curling at his feet, hanging from his eyes.

because amorphous blob batman has my heart always and danny/bruce will not escape it even in death even if that IS the only reason im giving him Mild BatBlob Vibes...so far

when they go to the manor, alfred helps danny make a pile of stones between Martha and Thomas' graves, nobody but the two of them (and sam and tucker) will know what it means. (not even bruce's children later down the line, not for a long, long time)

danny dives into ghost fighting on shaky feet and not half as witty as he once was in one world. he's skittish, skittering between blasts from shadow to shadow and clumsily making his way through each battle. but helping people lights a fire in him. he still has shadows dripping off his feet but there's a purpose in his eyes.

and god help him, he's going to help people.

[buckttommy]

married firstprince au set 10ish years in the future where alex is a victim of an assassination attempt while him and henry are apart and the absolutely heartstopping, bone crushing fear when henry gets the call........ bonus points if they were in the middle of a fight at the time............. hold on. i'm throwing up on myself....

[suffarustuffaru]

ok but im getting emo over heinkel again so im gonna talk about him again because yeah hes yet another sad character in a sea of sad characters and i love rezero for that but like he is a character consistently characterized by one loss after the other. it's a rollercoaster and its going straight fucking down and he is so miserable and absolutely alone and its both his fault and not his fault at all. but the way it starts is - its all out of his control. the more you think about the trajectory of his life the sadder it gets.

imagine you are heinkel and your parents are the sword saint and the sword demon and you come from a long line of knights and sword saints so thats almost definitely where youre headed, right? thats whats expected of you. you are nineteen years old and youre a knight in the royal guard, which was expected of you, and you have a wife and a beautiful baby boy, which was also expected of you, but at least you have so much joy and love for the latter while the former is just another chain on the astrea family line of people who are stuck to knighthood whether they like it or not. but your family is also just another chain because youre nineteen and your mother is still the sword saint and youre playing with fate here because either youre going to be the sword saint or your son will be.

your wife, the only equal you have, falls asleep one day and never wakes up. you are twenty-one years old and a single parent and then you are twenty-three years old and your son's fate is so much bigger than youll ever be. having the worlds love means that your love pales in comparison, doesnt it? everyone knows about your comatose wife because you keep searching so much for a cure that its just another thing to gossip about. every year that passes by she just continues to look the same as she did when she was awake and alive and loved you. (you dont know it yet but your son is going to reach the same age as her, because you dont find a cure for another sixteen years and you know that she wont love you anymore because who does? theres no one left because your son doesnt count.)

and everyone knows about you because of your family. because yeah, youre a good swordsman, but youre not liked by anyone in the knights. youre not a friend and youre certainly not a sword saint or sword demon. your son mind controls someone because he loves you so much that he would do anything for you and looks up to you like youre some hero, but youre just a wreck whos scrambling to keep what little you have. youre twenty-four and you lose your mom because you were too scared to go on the mission you were assigned on, because youre a coward and youre in over your head and you know, because everyone knows, that you dont measure up. you could never be prepared for this. in a long line of people who have to carry the weight of the world, you crumble easily. your mom goes on that mission and dies and your son becomes the sword saint like this was always going to happen. this is what being loved by the world means. you just killed your mom because you just couldnt suck it up and die on that mission instead. on top of that, your dad says that your five-year-old god of a son killed your mom. its just you and your son and the two of you both killed your mom but youre the worlds biggest laughing stock and your son is the up and coming hero and monster. but you still love your son. you really do.

right?

[simulation-machine]

˚‧º·(˃̣̣̥∩˂̣̣̥)‧º·˚ <- I was like, seconds from a tantrum about an hour ago.

Y'all. I did something so incredibly just, typical inattentive levels of ridiculous. I accidentally deleted my subfolder with all of my up-to-date mods. Since I wasn't really messing with those, I didn't think to back it up like I did with all my CC.

I really get into it re: mental health and while I'm really trying not to be so hard on myself, this set me back somewhat.

It was when I was doing the standard clear all the caches pre-loading-game fare. I must not have realized it was highlighted. I always empty my recycling bin after I do that, just a force of habit that I can trace back to the days I played Sims 3.

I tried to use Windows Recovery, and my last saved PC backup was right when I got sick, in early January. So I know which mods I have to download, but they all need to be updated.

Not all hope is lost. It would have been slightly worse if it were my CC or a saves folder or something. But this has already taken me like 4 entire days of hyperfocus and I just added like 2 hours of busy work because WHY NOT.

I really don't mind being ADHD most of the time. The diagnosis really helped me figure out a lot of important stuff about myself and gave me tools to be more successful with things I previously struggled with a lot. Unfortunately, I've been without my ADHD meds siiiince late January because of the stimulant/ADHD meds shortage that is somehow still a thing.

And when I do finally get them, I'm probably going to need to wait another month and a half for them to kick in. Apparently, a pharmacy a couple of miles from me is getting some in tomorrow so I can go and get it then so this added to it. Plus since I'm in a stage where I'm sort of just doing the same thing over and over again, it's easy to be in autopilot.

Anyways, I'm totally fine now. Got more of an all-business-no-goofin'-back-to-work vibe going on.

[ravangie]

As much as i criticize Shrek the Third, Shrek's monologue about accepting himself in this movie really got to me last night

"It may be hard to believe with my obvious charm and good looks, but people used to think that i was a monster. And for a long time i believed them. But after a while you learn to ignore the names that people call you and just trust who you are. "

[rowenabean]

.

[belle--ofthebrawl]

A few days late but I've only just gathered the emotional strength to go through my concert goodies. Bracelets, a sticker and one banana.

[batz]

.

[shepherdenjoyer]

if the only thing i had to deal with regarding getting a puppy was self doubt i might make it out, but oh my god theres so much going on and yet nothing at all and im bad at making decisions

[skretri]

i hsve no motivation sorry

[reddamselette]

the way my stress about colleges and my future goes away whenever i write valgrace should be studied actually (i’m dying and on my deathbed i actually hate this so bad)

powering through it I GUESS

[nickywhoisi]

pizzasuba

Hey PT fandom come get y'alls juicey fucked up italian meow meow

When I remembered this anime (and honestly why wouldn't you??), I knew exactly what I had to post next. You know me, I'll probably ink and colour this later. I wish I had some digital art tools to really make this look like a screenshot. It'd be pretty cool if someone else wanted to take a crack at it! For now, I bumrushed the idea out of my goof brain. The face was all studied carefully from a youtube clip, no tracing no scope baybeeeeeeeeeee

i hope nobody will notice that i can't draw guns for shit wwwwwww

[hyperfixationtimego]

Six Feet Under season 3 episode 4 “Nobody Sleeps” single-handedly responsible for me bawling my eyes out over its representation of queer love and grief and community. the lighting of the eulogy being deliberately colorful, contrasted against shots of Nate and David in more drab and dreary lighting……….the love, the emotion, the pure healing power of the man with the enlarged heart making sure that his lover was the last thing he ever looked at…….a gay man dying surrounded by friends, all together and having such a joyful and easy time, just happy to be there with one another………..oh it truly makes me unwell. I feel nauseous. how do I make this my reality.

[roseatebug]

i love being close to you

[yohankang]

i’m so tired and angry i can’t believe it’s just the beginning....