#i did these like. Forever ago but never posted oops

[rosyblooom]

could you please do lando and a stem girl who goes to uni but has a private life please

they don't know about us | ln4 smau

pairing: lando norris x private fem computer science major!reader a/n: this took me forever but hope u still like :) also, if you've got requests could u add if you want it to be smau or fic pls <3

Instagram

landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption: Mind you, I just woke up... ]

[ tagged: yourusername ]

Twitter

Instagram

landonorris posted to his story!

[ caption 1: 🕒✈️ ] [ caption 2: miami 👋 ]

[ tagged: yourusername ]

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: shoutout to the inventor of coffee i owe u big time🙏 ] [ caption 2: uhm i was just going to rest my eyes for 2 minutes?? good morning i guess💀 ]

f1gossip

liked by username, username, username and 12,057 others

f1gossip Y/N L/N, current girlfriend of Lando Norris, has been photographed arriving at the paddock for today's Miami GP.

Y/N's presence comes as a bit of a surprise, considering she was absent during practice and qualifying sessions, and rarely attends races. Speculation about a potential breakup has been rampant, but her appearance suggests that there might not be trouble in paradise after all... 👀

view all 793 comments

username she always looks so classy and put-together, i'm obsessed <33

username no bc am i the only who has no problem with her only attending a few races a year? some ppl don't have time to jet off across the globe 24/7 like

username it's the fact that they literally travelled to miami together and she still didn't go to quali or practice😐 the other wags do it, why can't she?

username i just know lando had to beg her to come smh

username why are y'all so rude omg?? some ppl are introverts...

username when you're in the public eye, you don't get to be "introverted"🙃 username that's an insane take wtf?

username GUYS i think she's a uni student cause peep lando's story a few days ago🧐 that explains why she's never at gps

username so? i'm a senior and i went to the aus gp this year username okay... do you want a cookie ?

username if a wag is at all races she's fame-hungry, and if she doesn't she's unsupportive like make up y'all's minds pls 🙄

Twitter

Instagram

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption: YOU DID IT!!! HE DID IT!!! MY BABY IS AN F1 WINNER OMFGGG🥹🥳👏 you deserved this so so much, i'm sooo proud of you ❤️❤️❤️ ]

[ tagged: landonorris ]

Twitter

Instagram

landonorris

liked by yourusername, _aarava, martingarrix and 2,005,872 others

landonorris Memories for life ❤️

view all 5,947 comments

username aw the 5th pic🥹

username do you think number six is y/n??👀 username 100%

username 🧡🧡🧡🧡🧡

username LANDO NOW WINS IKTRRRRR‼️🤩

username ofc y/n couldn't even be bothered to comment... and the most unsupportive wag award goes to y/n l/n!! congrats hun x

username y'all are weird YOU DON'T KNOW THESE PPL!! username it's the 'be kind' in ur bio for me miss gurl 🤡

username best day ever 🤧

lewishamilton 👏👏👏

(liked by author)

riabish sooo happy!!!

(liked by author)

username not ria being more of a gf then y/n oop username thanks for being such a good friend to lando, we love you💖

username next goal: beome world champion 👀👀

username yessirrrr

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: back to reality 💔 ] [ caption 2: jkjk it's not that bad, i don't cry nearly as much as i did in first year 🙂‍↕️☝️ ]

[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]

harvard

liked by yourusername, username, username and 29,063 others

harvard Final projects, theses, dissertations, and more! Check out what these soon-to-be graduates explored in some of their last assignements on campus.

Y/N's thesis navigated the intricate relationship between privacy and secure multi-party computation, enhancing data analysis while safeguarding sensitive information.

2. Steve's environmental science project examined urban development's impact on local biodiversity, providing insights for sustainable urban planning.

3. Nya's dentistry research poster explored new methods to improve dental implant success, promising better patient outcomes and oral healthcare.

—

We are celebrating the extraordinary members of the Class of #Harvard24 🎓

view all 127 comments

username 👏👏👏

username Awesome!

username Very good! Congrats to all these students!!💪

username wait am i tripping or is this y/n as in lando's gf y/n???😳 btw my biggest dream is to go to harvard in '26 !!!! 💕

username 😍😍

username streets are saying y/n goes to harvard so i had to come check and omg??😩

username no bc wag AND harvard girly?? just looked at myself and sighed fr... username now i feel bad for talking shit🫤

Twitter

Instagram

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: pulling an all-nighterrrr 😁 ] [ caption 2: nevermind, lando just made me promise to get some sleep :( ]

A few months later...

Instagram

yourusername posted to her story!

[ caption 1: couldn't ask for better shoulders to cry on srsly 🙂‍↕️ WE DID IT MY LOVESSS 🎓❤️❤️ ] [ caption 2: this us? 😏 (corny, i know...) ]

[ tagged: yourbestfriend, yourfriend + more ]

lando.jpg

liked by daniel3.jpg, yourusername, carlossainz55 and 847,903 others

tagged: yourusername

lando.jpg 🍾🎓❤️

view all 4,037 comments

username a win for women iktr 😌

username wow i'm so happy for her omg 🫶🫶 (jealous too but mostly happy loolol)

username LMAO are we the same person?

carlossainz55 👏👏👏

username now she has no excuse anymore

username if lando's completely happy with it all, why the hell are u upset? 🤡

username 2024 really gave us lando's first ever win and now this?? we love to see it 😍

yourusername ❤️❤️

(liked by author)

username we love you y/n <333 username i hope you'll be able to attend more races from now on!! i love seeing you in the paddock 💕

username the way i still haven't fully processed the fact that harvard gave her a shoutout goddamn🤯

usernmae not you calling that a shoutout bye💀💀

username AAHHHH YAYY CONGRATS Y/N YOU'RE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE 🤍🤍🤍🤍

0:33 ───ㅇ───────── 2:40

[leclercsainzz]

i was listening to “all to well” by taylor swift and the part where she sings “i still remember the first fall of snow” (pretty much verse 6) came on and i remember i had seen a nico rosberg x lewis hamilton edit to this song a few nights ago and i was wondering if you could do one where reader is nico’s sister and she dated lewis but they fell of because of the whole brocedes friendship fall out and the fans associate them with this specific song/verse .. basically brocedes situation but instead it’s reader x lewis (idk if all this makes sense lol)

DO YOU REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL?

PAIRINGS: lewis hamilton x rosberg sister!reader

TYPE: social media au

ynrosberg

liked by danielricciardo, nicorosberg and 645,927 others

ynrosberg: weekend photo dump or whatevaaa 🤷🏼‍♀️

tagged: @nicorosberg @danielricciardo

view 6,026 comments

user: omG i stiLL CaNnoT beliEVE MOTHER PULLED UP TO THE HUNGARIAN GRAND PRIX AKAKD!!!!!

↳ user: apparently she only went to support danny bc she promised him that she’d show up to a race if he came back 😭

user: does anyone know if lewis and her interacted??!!?

user: gorgg 😍😍😍

zayn: 😍

↳ user: are they dating??

↳ user: zayn??? 👀 what are you doing here??

user: not nico using memes 💀 LMAOOO

↳ nicorosberg: it was actually a gif 😭

↳ user: pLease, this makes it 10x better

danielricciardo: ❤️❤️

user: still can’t believe mother pulled up and we didn’t get a single interaction with dad 😭😭

user: it’s the waY LEWIS WALKED BY HER WITHOUT SPARING HER A GLANCE 😭😭😭💔

↳ user: i cried when i saw that 😭😭 like why’d they show us?

user: so is everyone gonna ignore the last post?? 444?? 4’s??? who is associated with 4? lewis mf 44 hamilton?? hello?

user: lewis????

user: will forever hold on to the idea that they’ll get back together soon 😌

user: i love how everyone is bringing up lewis as if they didn’t end on bad terms lmao

fernandoalo_official: glad to see my spanish lessons taught you something 👍🏼

aussiegrit: it’s britney bitch

📌 pinned

user: not her pinning webber’s comment 💀

user: thE things i’d do to see a lewis comment or like 😩

user: just thinking about the fact that yn & lewis might’ve seen each other at the race but refused to interact w each other 😭

↳ user: they did:( and they ignored each other

user: can someone please tell me if her and lewis talked?

user: i just know they refused to look in each other’s directions

↳ user: stop 😭😭😭 you’re right, they didn’t 💔💔💔

user: 4?? lewis??

user: missing ynlewis hours 😓

user: ugh, she’s soo pretty 😍😍😍

user: how can one be this beautiful? 😩

ynrosberg

liked by sebastianvettel, kendalljenner and 610,749 others

ynrosberg: photo dump pt 2 🤪

view 5,146 comments

user: all too well 10 min ver. (taylor’s version)??? yes or yes??

↳ ynrosberg: always!!! 💗

user: LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS LEWIS

user: 😍😍😍😍😍

zayn: thanks for the pic creds

↳ yourusername: yea yea

georgerussell63: i see my name 👀

user: i pray lewis and her will get back together

user: wishing for a ynlewis interaction 😩😩

↳ user: same, sis, same!

user: her smile in the third post 🥰

kendalljenner: 😍😍 beauty

↳ ynrosberg: mwahh 😘

user: when she listens to taylor swift >>

nicorosberg: never got my ice cream 😕

↳ ynrosberg: oops???

user: I REMEMBER IT ALL TOO WELL

user: i literally just saw a ynlewis edit to all too well!!! janskdnd

↳ user: SEND ME THE LINK, NOW

↳ user: ^ me too, please!!!

↳ user: wtF, iM crying 😭😭😭😭

user: i just need to know that her and lewis are on good terms, my mental health depends on this info

↳ user: hate to break it to you …. but ….

↳ user: they literally walked by each other TWICE during the hungarian gp and didn’t acknowledge each other 💔💔💔💔

user: does anyone know if lewis and yn are friends at least?

↳ user: girl??? they don’t even follow each other 🙂

user: she looks happy, he looks happy … they moved on .... maybe it’s time for us all to move on as well? 😔😔😔

↳ user: nO, i cant 😔 i rEfuse!!

user: who’s lewis??? and what does he have to do with yn and nico?? (i don’t mean to offend anyone, i just keep seeing so many comments regarding lewis … is he a driver like nico or??)

↳ user: long story short, lewis hamilton is a formula 1 driver (yes), him and nico used to be teammates .. they were pretty much fighting for the championship and in the process their friendship started to fall apart due to their rivalry and ig yn pushed lewis away after nico won and retired

↳ user: wasn’t it because lewis said he didn’t want distractions and wanted to focus on his career?

↳ user: tbh i’m not sure, they never really confirmed anything

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, neymarjr and 784,837 others

lewishamilton: season so far ✌🏾

tagged: @georgerussell63 @fernandoalo_official

view 7,937 comments

user: ROSCOE!!!!

user: i wonder if roscoe misses mother as much as i do 😭

user: dad, please get back with mom!! 🙏🏼

user: my man everybody 😍😍😍

user: i heard from a friend that george “kidnapped” roscoe and took him to see yn

↳ user: wait wtf, are you being frr??? 😭😭 don’t play with me

↳ user: idk if it’s true

↳ user: i wonder how roscoe reacted when he saw yn, if he did

georgerussell63: roscoe 🥰

↳ lewishamilton: dognapper

↳ georgerussell63: i did it for the greater good:)

↳ user: wAit omgsksn does that mean he actually took roscoe to see yn or???? omg wkakalsk 🥺🥺🥺

user: he’s so fine 😩

fernandoalo_official: 😎

user: WAIT DID GEORGE REALLY TAKE ROSCOE TO GO SEE YN?? BC IF SOOO IMA CRY 😭😭😭😭

user: ya’ll remember when roscoe would pull up with both his parents to the paddock?? 😔 ahh, good old times

user: @sebastianvettel sebs, i need you to work your magic and reunite my parents, please

user: not getting over how they just walked past each other as if they didn’t spend 4 years together 💔

user: the fit 🔥

user: things that keep me up at night: brocedes & ynlewis

↳ user: ^ THIS!!!!

user: ya’ll ever thing about the what-if of ynlewis??

user: goat with a another goat (alonso) 🤩

user: they day yn and lewis reunite will be magical

user: missing the yn comments/likes 🥺🥺🥺

carlossainz55: 🤩🤩🤩

user: 7 years ago, ynlewis broke my heart 😭😭😭

↳ user: don’t forget brocedes 😭😭

↳ user: can’t believe it’s been 7 years, mate

user: i wonder if they privately talk, yk??

↳ user: never thought of that but i hope they do, tbh

sebastianvettel: ❤️

user: roscoe’s too adorable!! 🥺❤️

user: i know they’ll find their way to each other eventually

ynrosberg

liked by zayn, danielricciardo and 671,048 others

ynrosberg: life so far 💗 (p.s. happy 8 months, lover)

view 5,937 comments

user: mOTHER?????? who is that????

user: 8 months???? wtf?? hello?? since when???

user: what about lewis??!

user: looks like mother gave us another dad 😔

↳ user: lewis is MY dad, idcc … zayn can be my step dad

user: so you’re telling me lewis and yn getting back together won’t happen anytime soon?? 😭😭

zayn: ❤️

↳ user: wAIT!!!! ZAYN??!??? OMG MAKALANS I KNEW THE TATTOOS LOOKED FAMILIAR WHSLs

↳ user: one direction guy????

nicorosberg: cute

↳ ynrosberg: 😌

user: they’ve been together for 8 months?? 😮😮

user: it all makes sense, i just never connected the dots

user: this was not on my 2023 bingo card 😩

user: ngl but this is actually cute

danielricciardo: cats out the bag, yayyy 🥳

↳ user: YOU KNEW!/@/&/@/‘s

user: i wonder how lewis is feeling rn

↳ user: as if he cares

user: mom, what about dad?? 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔

user: @lewishamilton

user: nooooOo i miss dad 😭😭

user: allbio984!;’al hepan huh?!?!@ what?&@“”

user: ig those rumors a few months ago were true

↳ user: which ones???

↳ user: they were seen together like 3 months ago and there were speculations that they were together but it was never confirmed until now 😭

user: i’m still at the restaurant with dad 😢😢😢

user: yn, you’re breaking my heart 💔💔 we want dad

user: scReaming and goiNg apeshit alapamcbh93&,!;@/

user: lewis officially lost her 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭

user: i can’t believe this wtf

lewishamilton

liked by danielricciardo, charles_leclerc and 793,927 others

lewishamilton: all too well

view 7,947 comments

user: DAD IS QUOTING “ALL TOO WELL”

user: roscoe owns my heart, idcc 🥺🥺

user: you remember it all too well, huh? 🥺

user: ya’ll remember yn posted a photo dump a while ago and one of the pic was a “all too well” aesthetic and now he’s using it as his caption??? he definitely misses her 😭😭😭

user: “just between us do you remember it all too well” you remember, she remembers, we all remember 💔

user: dad, we know know you miss mom and uncle nico

↳ user: 😭😭😭 stopp

user: roscoe 🥰🥰🥰

user: mom’s got a new boyfriend

user: ynlewis/brocedes will forever be my roman empire

georgerussell63: roscoe’s such a cutie!

↳ user: idc if you have to break yn and zayn up but we NEED our og parents back, please 🙏🏼

user: they were THE COUPLE

user: she definitely haunts all his what-ifs 😭😭

↳ user: he should’ve married her when he had the chance

↳ user: will never get over him choosing his career over her

user: @ynrosberg

user: i miss them everyday 😩

user: i often think about how if brocedes never ended the way they did they would’ve been together, just maybe

↳ user: i think about this everyday 😩😩😩😩

↳ user: they would’ve been married and with a kid by now

maxverstappen1: have you been hitting the gym?

↳ lewishamilton: always

user: it’s never too late, don’t give up

↳ user: she’s with zayn

user: i still hold on to the possibility that they’ll get back together eventually

user: timing was wrong bc they were in different stages of their lives but i believe they’ll always be soulmates ❤️

user: why’d they break up??

↳ user: bc yn wanted a family and lewis was too focused on his career at the time, i guess

user: roscoe’s a child of divorce like us 😭😭

user: convinced myself that taylor wrote verse 6 about them in all too well (10 min ver)

user: i wonder if he ever gets deja vu when he sees her or viceversa

user: ynlewis keeps me up at night

user: we lost two amazing things 😔 ynlewis & brocedes

↳ user: we can all collectively agree it’s mercedes fault

ynrosberg

liked by nicorosberg, sebastianvettel and 710,019 others

ynrosberg: an adventure is about to begin 🥰

tagged: @zayn

view 6,984 comments

user: mother is becoming a mother??!? omg 😭😭

user: congratulations!!!

zayn: can’t wait for our little one ❤️

↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️❤️

user: im not crying, you are 😭

user: the fact that’s she’s becoming a mother 😭 w/o lewis

user: this could’ve been lewis

↳ user: if only 😔

sebastianvettel: happy for you, congrats! ❤️❤️

↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️

nicorosberg: can’t wait till i’m officially an uncle 😢

↳ ynrosberg: ilyyyy ❤️

danielricciardo: IM GONNA SPOIL THAT KID

aussiegrit: congrats, yn

↳ ynrosberg: 😊😊 thanks youuu

jensonbutton: ❤️❤️❤️ congrats

↳ ynrosberg: 🥰

fernandoalo_official: 🥳🥳🥳

georgerussell63: can i be the uncle too??

↳ ynrosberg: why not 🤪

user: AHHH IM SOO HAPPY FOR YOU!!

kendalljenner: congrats, my love 🥳❤️❤️❤️

user: im so happy for her but all i can think about is lewis

user: mom becoming a mom without dad 😭😭😭😭

user: ya’ll imagine if it would’ve been lewis 😩

user: her dream came true 😭😭

carmenmmundt: ahh congratulations 🥰🥰🥰

↳ ynrosberg: ❤️❤️

heidiberger__: congrats, beautiful 💗💗

↳ ynrosberg: 🥰🥰

lewishamilton: congratulations!

↳ ynrosberg: thank you!!

↳ user: i waS NOT PREPARED FOR THIS 😭😭😭😭

↳ user: why’d he have to do this??? 😭

↳ user: the way this could’ve been him

user: lewis commented omg 😢😢😢

↳ user: i just know he’s regretting everything

user: lewis 💔💔💔

user: i know dad’s crying over this cause so am i

user: we’re all child of divorce 😭😭😭

[the-oblivious-writer]

Drunk In Love

Core Four x Reader | Tara Carpenter x Reader

Drabble: Social Media Au

Summary: You and Tara are just really good friends... really good friends

Warning(s): Swearing, secret relationship, & r's implied to be roomates with chad

Notes: Wrote this ages ago, it's been in my drafts for over a month 😭 it's technically unfinished but hopefully you'll still enjoy. Silently hoping this helps me out of the writer's block I've been in for let the light in

y/n

liked by tara_dactle, nik, and 5,547 others

y/n: your lips, my lips, apocalypse

view all 4,324 comments...

chadtheman_meeks: OK, this is the 5th post like this...who is she? 🤨

>y/n: who's who?

>chadtheman_meeks: the girl you keep making these posts about

>y/n: I don't kiss and tell

>chadtheman_meeks: fine...keep your secrets...

mindythegreat: and what if I said I know who it is? 🤭

>y/n: you better fucking not...

>mindythegreat: someone's getting defensive...

nik: I wish MY girlfriend posted about me 😒

>mindythegreat: I DO ☹️

>nik: videos of me falling my ass don't count.

tara_dactle

liked by y/n, chadtheman_meeks, and 6,593 others

tara_dactle: in a world of boys, she's a gentleman 💞

view all 5,342 comments...

chadtheman_meeks: I KNOW THAT HAIR

>tara_dactle: it's a very common hair style

>chadtheman_meeks: you're not gonna gaslight me on this

mindythegreat: interesting...

samcarpenter1997: I thought you said you were at y/n's last night

>tara_dactle: ...yes...

>mindythegreat: VERY interesting

mindythegreat:

liked by chadtheman_meeks, nik, and 7,325 others

mindythegreat: ...guess who I found all cuddled up at the arcade

view all 5,831 comments...

tara_dactle: when tf did you take this???

>mindythegreat: was someone too occupied to have seen me? 🤔

>tara_dactle: fall in a ditch.

chadtheman_meeks: hold up- wait a damn minute @y/n isn't that the same hoodie I've seen you wear a million times?

>y/n: it's a very generic hoodie

>chadtheman_meeks: I can literally see your name written on the hem

>y/n: I find that hard to believe since you can't see for shit

>chadtheman_meeks: I breathed.

y/n: mindy, forever the shit stirrer

>mindythegreat: I don't see any denying

tara_dactle

liked by y/n, samcarpenter1997, and 4,372 others

tara_dactle: just woke up

view all 4,326 comments...

mindythegreat: it's like 3 in the afternoon and you JUST woke up 💀

>tara_dactle: you're 19 and STILL haven't had your glow up

>mindythegreat: so aggressive for what

y/n: you could wear a trash bag and still look stunning

>tara_dactle: same could go for you 😉

>chadtheman_meeks: ARE YA'LL SEEING THIS SHIT

samcarpenter1997: Isn't this the picture you got ready for?

>mindythegreat: oop "woke up like this" my ass

>tara_dactle: ...don't you have work

>samcarpenter1997: I'm on break

>tara_dactle: lovely.

>mindythegreat: it's okay tar, you can admit you wanted to look good for your mystery girl (y/n) 😚

>tara_dactle: me when I'm delusional

y/n

liked by tara_dactle, chadtheman_meeks, and 6,342 others

y/n: SHE GOT ME LEGOOOOSSS

view all 6,192 comments...

nik: lego dates>>

chadtheman_meeks: i LITERALLY saw tara walk into our apartment with a lego set

>y/n: who?

>chadtheman_meeks: don't play with me rn 😭

not_ethanlandry: I'm so jealous

>y/n: does chad not do these kinds of things?

>not_ethanlandry: no 😔

>chadtheman_meeks: @y/n for the last time me and ethan aren't dating

>y/n: not with that attitude

y/n:

liked by tara_dactle, mindythegreat, and 7,582 others

y/n: she's so tiny

view all 6,974 comments...

chadtheman_meeks: is this why you kicked me out of the house 😔

>y/n: I asked you kindly, I never kicked

>chadtheman_meeks: you were practically shoving me out the door

mindythegreat: ya'll are terrible at being in a secret relationship

>y/n: what secret relationship?

>mindythegreat: right...

-----------

A/N: genuinely can't do anything rn

[accidentally-in-fictional-love]

Susceptible - Jack Delroy/Reader

Warnings: Fully clothed grinding, very slight dirty talk, very light exhibitionism in a sense, no use of Y/N, female-hinted reader because of skirt/makeup mentions but other than that there's no real gender mention.

Wordcount: 4950

Summary: You spent a small fortune getting a ticket to Carmichael Haig's show on the promise of his new act showing his audience something the world has never seen before, as well as the possible attendance of one Jack Delroy, but will two hours of bullshit be worth the risk?

Notes: There is SO MUCH BUILDUP I'm so sorry I'm so weak for worldbuilding and plot I swear the other one I have planned will be shorter OTL I have never written a reader before but I am a huge fan of them, especially the DDverse ones I've been binging oop, so I hope this is a good first attempt! It's been a few years since I've written anything like this and probably a good decade or so since I last posted anything, so here's hoping I post more in the upcoming future~ This is also completely unbetaed so if you see any mistakes please let me know <3 The Manhattan Center is also real but didn't fit my needs entirely so I mashed it together with the theatre I went to as a kid lol

~~~~~~~~~~

Carmichael Haig was back in town and you had no idea why you were here. 

He had left for what felt like both forever and not nearly long enough for a few months to do his tour, seeing his smug face everywhere you looked between both digital and paper news and making your distaste grow a little more each time. You had been fond of his trickery for a time, but his move from magic man to skeptic had sucked all the fun out of the act, his determination to not only find the real but humiliate the fakes way past annoying to straight up sickening to you by this point. Tonight’s show proved to be another big presentation of the latter you’d decided when it’d been announced officially, promoted by your favourite talk show host - and current celebrity crush - Jack Delroy; his smile was wide for the cameras but it didn’t reach his eyes, you could always tell between them by now and he did not seem to be as pleased as the two talked about it that night.

‘I’m going to show the world something they’ve never seen before,’ Carmichael had said, his usual smug look in place as he hammed it up for the cameras like he could really pull that off, Jack running with it like the patron saint of patience he had to be.

‘Big talk, you sure I can’t convince you to give our wonderful audience a taste tonight?’ he asked, the crowd cheering at the mere thought of getting to experience his new act an entire month early, but if there was even an iota of temptation within him to share he hid it perfectly. He waved the offer away to everyone’s disappointment, Jack pouting on everyone’s behalf and putting those big eyes on display as his own plea; the ratings, you imagined, would be wonderful for a segment like this when his show was already starting to slip down the line, but even that was no use.

‘You’ll all get a chance to see it on the 13th,’ he promised them as he turned to face the audience, the place and date scrolling across the bottom of the screen yet again, they’d been flashing it every single time it was mentioned to the point where you were sure you’d see it in your sleep tonight, rolling across the bottom half of your dream. ‘Or, those of you who’ve been able to get your tickets will, we’re selling out fast,’ he smirked with a tip of his glass, yet another thing that’d been brought up and hammered home; you’d gone to the Manhattan Center to check a couple days ago, just out of curiosity, the ticket price absolutely ridiculous to the point that you were convinced they’d never sell out, but now you guessed your distaste of him wasn’t as widespread as you’d secretly hoped.

Jack slapped his leg in mock disappointment, Carmichael looking back to him at the sound. ‘Guess you’ll have to tell me all about it the next time you’re back in town, I had asked Gus to pick one up for me but it seems he missed that call,’ he joked, Gus’ surprise at the blame of his absence being placed on him getting a big laugh as his face fell and he tried to explain himself. 

Carmichael placed an understanding hand on Jack’s shoulder and leaned in closer, the other man leaning in in return as if to receive some kind of secret. ‘Well then, it’s a good thing my date canceled on me,’ he retorted, and when he pulled his hand back he revealed a ticket, Jack’s eyes going wide as he accepted the gift with a big smile, pointing to it before shaking Carmichael’s hand with a thanks.

Ah, so that was why you were here again.

You knew you’d never be able to get a seat on Night Owls because the thought of Jack seeing you in the crowd made you blush all the way to your shoulders, even on your bravest of nights you hadn’t been able to even call and see if there were any tickets left, but to maybe share an audience with him? To sit in the same room as him where you could steal glances if you were able to find him, with no risk whatsoever of him catching the way your eyes lit up when you looked at that handsome face, that dangerously attractive body? That was doable. 

It had cost an arm and a leg to convince that scalper to hand over one of the tickets he was parading around outside the Center, but it was worth it as you stepped inside, your heart racing because, unless he wanted to risk the aftermath of Carmichael calling him out for not going, he was here; somewhere in this building was the man you’d been dreaming about since his debut a few years ago, the one you watched nearly every night without fail just for that hour where he looked at you, talked to you, noticed you even if it was through a camera, and that was all you’d needed until tonight.

You’d gotten a pretty shitty seat despite the price but you didn’t mind, it actually worked out for you considering you weren’t actually there to see the show but to look for someone in the seats in front of you, and you hoped that you’d be able to spot him from where you were in the far back corner. As long as he wasn’t, say, the exact opposite of you then you probably stood a chance of at least a glance, since his ticket came from Carmichael himself you guessed that it was probably close to the front if not front row center just to mess with him and prove that he’d come, and you felt all the hair rise on your arms and neck when Carmichael walked on stage early to very loudly greet someone who’d just walked in.

There he was, leaving his seat to meet the other man in the middle, and he was so much further than you expected but it was still him, big smile in place, hair perfectly combed, his crisp suit being wrinkled by Carmichael’s hands as he gave him a showy hug, and he was beautiful. You froze in the middle of the row, unable to finish the walk as your eyes stayed on him, the people trying to get by you not as starstruck as they attempted to squeeze past when you ignored their presence.

‘Sorry,’ you murmured as you sat as fast as you could, eyes still trained on him as he waved to the crowd to prove that yes, he did honour the gift and was there to see this big new act he’d been promised. You let out an embarrassingly needy whine when he sat back down and you became unable to see him again, the mass of bodies behind him obscuring all but a sliver of the back of his head from this angle, and you’d be damned if you had to spend the next 2 hours stuck like this at a Carmichael Haig show of all things. The person at the end of the row finally arrived and you made your move, hurrying down and taking one last glance before getting ready to make this whole thing a little more bearable. ‘Excuse me,’ you nearly stuttered as the person, a man older than yourself who definitely gave off the air of being a Carmichael fan, looked up at you, ‘would you want to trade seats with me? I was really looking forward to the show but I was too late to grab an aisle seat.’

It’s a blatant lie but the quick glance from before proved that you could see him better from there, and the chance of getting to look at him for the next two hours was worth the look the man gave you at the request.

‘Which one are you?’ he asked, looking down to the few empty spaces still waiting for their owners, and you pulled out your ticket to double check, seeing that it was R51; wow, you didn’t realize how far away R was from A until you saw it firsthand. He looked back down to your seat and considered it, looking you over midthought when he thought you weren’t looking, and he almost got away with it if not for the fact that you felt his eyes on you. ‘$100,’ he decided, the offer knocking the wind right out of you.

‘What? The seat was already $350,’ you choke, giving away the fact that you were really, really late to the party.

‘Take it or leave it, I had the sense to order on time,’ is all he says to that, and you looked back at your possible view before sighing heavily and reaching for your wallet; goddamnit, Jack, if only he knew how worth it he was. You hand over the money and step aside, the man pocketing his fee and leaving the seat for you as promised, and the view is just barely better but there he is again, perfectly in view due to what can only be a miracle, the hole in your wallet feeling a little less big as you watched him turn his head to talk to someone, giving you a perfect side view.

He really was handsome, captivating even from this distance, and you swoon a little as the audience finished filling out, the lights dimming and obscuring your view a little more save the grace of the stage lights that illuminate him from the front as Carmichael walked back out on stage and started the show. You’d never been one for spacing out but you couldn’t take your eyes off him, the $450 price tag of this shitty aisle seat all for him and not feeling so bad even as Carmichael charms everyone around you. He didn’t look to the side that often, you guessed he didn’t actually know his neighbour since the seat was a gift, but the times that he did, where he laughed or sighed at the theatrics or even put his face in his hand because he wasn’t having too much fun, were all cataloged away in your head forever, the perfect souvenirs to last you a lifetime of home viewing after this. 

At about an hour in according to your old watch, Jack looked about ready to get up and find any reason to leave, which you couldn’t blame him for, the acts themselves were pretty damn good you realized in the times you actually paid attention, but it was getting so tiring to see Carmichael explain away all of their tricks, to see the joy leave their faces at being called a fraud or having all their mysteries revealed, and it was clear Jack felt the same down in row A. After a particularly rough walk-off from a woman who was trying very desperately to convince Carmichael that she could really read his mind and ending up with the humiliating reality that everything he answered to was false to get her to out herself, you noticed that when you looked back to his seat that Jack isn’t there, and you were in the middle of wondering where he went when the person coming up the aisle came into view so suddenly that it took your breath away.

It was Jack, his brow twitching slightly to keep a neutral face, his footsteps heavy as he tried not to stomp and draw attention to the fact that that last one really pissed him off, his hands already reaching into his suit pocket for something. You tried not to stare the closer he got but it was hard, years of being able to look all you want training your brain to look look look as he approached, and you forced yourself to stare straight ahead at the stage as he reached you. Your hands were clenched tight in your lap as he went to pass row R, and you were in the middle of thinking you were going to make it when he fumbled the small box in his pocket and dropped it with a low curse, the cigarettes he apparently smoked bouncing to the side and coming to a stop between your recently shined shoes.

Your head snapped down so fast you felt it in your neck as he came to a stop beside you, the two of you locating the box at the same time, and you stiffened as he reached for it before realizing how rude that would be despite his own sour mood. ‘I’m sorry, could I bother you for a second,’ he asked, his smile back in place despite being a bit tense, and you stuttered out a confirmation as you leaned down to pick them up.

‘I didn’t know you smoked,’ you blurted out before you could stop yourself, Jack’s hand frozen in midair as he reached for the box, his smile relaxing a little as he looked from your hand to your face.

‘Did I find myself a Night Owl in this sea of skeptics?’ he wondered aloud, your cheeks brightening in a way that really made you pray it was dark enough not to notice. 

‘I wanted to see what all the fuss was about,’ you lie, and he crouched down so he could hear your whispers as the crowd reacted to the next act.

‘I take it you’re also not very impressed,’ he figured, hitting the nail on the head based on your expression alone. He chuckled at your silent confirmation and looked back down to the cigarettes, his fingertips just barely touching yours as you both held it, you didn’t even know when he’d grabbed it and you let go before it got awkward, but he didn’t seem to notice. ‘Well, if you don’t tell my producer that I’m smoking again, then I won’t tell Haig that you didn’t like his show, deal?’

You sucked in a breath as he moved the box to his left hand, offering up his right for a handshake this time to seal the deal, your heart pounding as you shook on it, his smile more genuine than you’d seen all night, you could always tell. He stood back up as the act finished and Carmichael went back to his disproving, his mood dropping again as his need to escape rearose. You both offered a look of disdain at the stage before he stood back up to move again, something stopping him midstep before he turned on his heel and leaned back down to you, a shiver running down your spine at how close he was so he could be heard.

‘Have you ever been to one of my shows?’ he asked, genuine curiosity in his voice, his warm breath accidentally hitting your neck and rendering you unable to do anything but glance at him and shake your head no. ‘You’d have a much better time, I’ve got some great stuff coming up,’ he pitched, either completely unaware of your predicament or just used to people acting like this around him, either way he didn’t react when your eyes couldn’t help but flicker down to watch him lick his lips so fast you almost missed it. ‘The next one’s already booked up but if you go down to the studio and give them this card, you should be able to get a spot for a night you’re free, I'd like to see you there.’

He pulled out his wallet and grabbed a business card, flipping it around to the blank side on the back before resting it on the arm of the chair. A pen was found next, and he scribbled a quick note to the ticket seller on it on your behalf, signing it and handing it over with that big showman smile of his. You took it and placed it in your own wallet, the previous hole instantly filled with its presence, his mood clearly raised by the interaction as he wished you a quick goodbye and resumed his journey outside, oblivious to the fact that you were about to disrupt the entire theater if you didn’t find a place to scream and fast. 

You gave him a few minutes to reach the doors before jumping to your feet and making for the bathroom, your heels clickclacking on the tile the entire way until you found the correct door. The place was empty, which was great because once you caught sight of yourself you knew that it was bad enough he saw you this way, no one else should get the pleasure; your face was redder than you’d ever seen it, your pupils blown from the exchange and you could’ve sworn you could actually see yourself shaking you were buzzing so hard, your grin so wide anyone else would’ve assumed that Santa had just given you the toy you’d always wanted for Christmas early. 

You tried to calm yourself as you ripped off some paper towels and dampened them, patting them against your cheeks and neck to bring your body temperature back down to a normal person’s, carefully avoiding your makeup that you were thankful you spent the time putting on just on the ultra rare off chance you’d run into him. When you were ready to go back - and after a quick internal debate on whether you should try and meet him outside for another, less hushed conversation already - you made sure to calm your breathing before heading back out there, taking a quick moment to look for him before making the trek back to your seat. 

When you got back you noticed that no new act was on, Carmichael already talking to the audience and projecting himself up on the screens for all to see, you rolling your eyes as you collapsed into the rich red velvet and preparing for more of his bullshit until Jack returned, if he felt like it that was. Everyone around you was concentrating on his words, staring right ahead as the theater fell silent save for his voice and the sound of a ticking clock; ah, he was trying to hypnotize everyone, that must’ve been his big final act that he’d promised his audience. You weren’t impressed, you’d tried to be hypnotized before at a party in your youth, it hadn’t worked then so it wasn’t going to work now you knew, so you sat back and prepared to at least enjoy whatever he was going to make the audience do.

Your thoughts went back to Jack as Carmichael’s voice slowly got drowned out, the ticking a bit louder in your ears despite the distance, but you didn’t mind because it was nonsense anyway, ‘Now who’s the skeptic,’ you think to yourself as you sink deeper into your chair. You vaguely heard the words, ‘Your greatest desire,’ in your ear before you felt a hand on your shoulder, your eyes leaving the stage to travel up until you saw Jack standing just behind you in the aisle, his smile from before now more like a smirk as he motioned towards the doors like he wanted you to follow him. 

You looked back at the stage as Carmichael invited someone from the audience up to stand with him, some poor hypnotized fool who was bound to be humiliated along with everyone else who stood with him tonight, and you decided that you’d rather not see that again before standing and following Jack. There was a small hallway between the theater and the doors on that side of the back wall, the two of you out of view from everyone else but Carmichael’s voice still reaching, and you were about to wonder if he was leading you outside to just leave or talk when he turned and pushed you against the wall with a muffled thud. Your back met cold paint as your chest met with his, your eyes locking as he cornered you where no one could see, a confidence he saved for the cameras now focused solely on you as he looked you over the same way you’d done to him a thousand times over. 

‘I couldn’t wait for you to come to my show,’ he whispered, his voice impossibly low as he held you in place, a knee parting yours and making you gasp, ‘you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.’

‘You’re just telling me what I wanna hear,’ you managed to get out, his eyes closing as he leaned in to grin against your cheek.

‘Is it working?’

You didn’t dare answer but you might as well have because your silence was enough to spur him into action, your head falling back against the wall as he started to kiss your neck, your hands grasping at anything because this was crazy. The man you’d wanted for years was kissing you not even 30ft away from a room full of people, anyone could come around the corner at any second and catch you, and you bit your lip at the thrill of it all. You’d had dreams like this before, ones that left you panting into your pillow when you awoke, but the real thing was so much better as he sucked a mark into your soft skin, your hand leaving his arm to cover your mouth lest you alert anyone within hearing distance to your current predicament.

You let him do as he pleased, let him ran his hands over your sides and down to the edge of where your lifted skirt was resting against his thigh, your legs shaking as your body tried not to grind against him; it was only due to him holding you that kept you standing as a matter of fact and he seemed fully aware of it as his nails scratched softly against your bare leg. He seemed to love all your reactions to what he did, he was in the entertainment business after all, every noise of approval that slipped through your fingers must’ve been like music to his ears but you had to hold back no matter how much you wanted to indulge him. Being denied what he wanted only made him work harder for it, the assault on your neck moving to your shoulder and collarbone instead of your covered lips, your mouth watering for just a taste as he started to move against you, one hand pulling your waist away from the wall by your lower back as the other moved up and under your skirt.

The first grind of his body against yours was decadent, you swore you could feel it in your soul the way he wanted you just as much as you’d wanted him, like he’d been watching you back through the screen for years and also craved this very moment, and now that he was getting it he wasn’t going to stop, you didn’t want him to stop. You’d never seen him act anything like this before in all his years on TV, a greedy flash of excitement running through you at getting to see such a new side of him quickly overcome by pleasure as he cupped your ass and pulled you even closer. You knew you couldn’t get undressed here, if you’d made it to the bathroom then maybe he’d be doing more but he hadn’t lasted even that long, but even with that desire being restrained you still wanted him here and now. Never in your life had you been this desperate for release but he was bringing out a demon inside of you that desired and needed and wanted so much that you were willing to throw your modesty out the fucking window for just a second of his hot skin pressed against your own, but this would have to do while the show still went on.

‘Jack…’ you moaned as your hand, moist from your panting, gripped his arm once again, Carmichael’s voice getting louder in the distance as you grew closer to your release.

‘Come home with me,’ he begged into your ear, his movements getting rougher as he also grew close, you knew you’d both have to leave before everyone saw you but it was worth it, god it was so worth it. ‘I want to have you all to myself, I need to taste you-’

You bit your lip and led his face away from your neck so you could look into his eyes, his mouth parted as he tried to control his own panting, he was coming apart at the seams for you right here in the hallway, the ticking in your ears either your heartbeat or a clock far away. You moaned his name again as you felt the heat build in your stomach, your back arching and pushing your body into him even more as the door to your right opened.

‘Dreamer, here, awake!’

All at once your knees gave out and you collapsed to the floor before that final wave could push you over the edge, your head heavy and your vision swimming as the body against yours vanished into nothing. ‘Are you okay? What happened?’ Jack’s voice from above asked as his worried expression came into view, the smell of rain and cigarette smoke invading your senses; the sound of the audience in a similar state of confusion drifted around the corner as Jack crouched down next to you, just back inside from his break from the show, the realization that you weren’t as immune to hypnosis as you’d thought hitting you like a bucket of cold water. You just panted in shock, surprise, and waning lust as Jack looked you over in concern, your hands moving to pull the bottom of your skirt down to cover your exposed legs in embarrassment, the scratches you were so certain he’d left behind not there, because he hadn’t been there.

‘I’m fine,’ you force yourself to say after you’d caught your breath, Jack believing you but still helping you to your feet like a gentleman, of course he would never act that way, that was only how you’d wanted him to act, you’d had dreams like that for god’s sake, the real Jack would never-

‘Is the show over?’ he asked as the roar of people applauding overtook the chatter, Carmichael now silent, and you avoided his eye as you started to edge towards the way out.

‘I think so.’

‘What was the big mind-blowing act?’

You put a little distance between yourself and him but he didn’t notice, Jack heading for the corner so he could look at the stage as he waited for your reply. ‘He hypnotized everyone,’ you answered curtly, his reaction big and full of surprise as he looked over the size of the crowd in an awe that wasn’t present for the first hour and a half.

‘Everyone? You should’ve come found me, I would’ve loved to see that.’ He was still looking at the room beyond, your eyes on him as he watched everyone else.

‘I got a little overwhelmed,’ you mumble, and he finally looked at you with that same concerned expression again, and it’s too much after what you’d just thought you’d seen, your eyes finding the floor.

‘What did he make you see?’ he asked, his curiosity quiet but still there under the concern, but you couldn’t answer him. ‘Do you need a ride home, or are you okay to drive?’

He’s too kind, he would never act that way, he would never say that to you.

‘I took a cab, I’ll be fine,’ you tried to say, but still you quickly found yourself being led to the front door as the audience swarmed around you, his hand on your back to make sure you stayed standing, a true gentleman. It had started raining while you were inside which explained the scent pairing with the smoke that covered up his cologne, and you just stood under the marquee as he hailed a cab for you as the sea of skeptics washed around you like rushing water. You hopped inside but he didn’t shut the door right away, leaning down in the rain once you were seated, and for a moment you wondered if he was going to get in when he spoke.

‘I do hope you come to my show, preferably Friday’s, it’s gunna be a good one, I promise,’ he said with that big genuine smile again, your heart pounding as your cheeks glowed red for a reason other than embarrassment as you gave him a small nod.

‘I’ll be there,’ you promised back, and he tapped the roof of the cab before shutting the door and letting you go. You looked out the back window as you drove away, the both of you waving as he ducked back inside and out of the rain, and as soon as you turned back around to face forward you found yourself reaching for your wallet. His card was in your hands as you looked it over, all in all it was an uninspiring, plain business card, and you flipped it over to read what he wrote for the ticketmaster on the back.

Wait for me by the back entrance at 11:00 Phil will let you in JD

Your cheeks turned red again as you put the card away, the cab driver giving you a look in the rearview mirror as you held your nearly empty wallet, now with one business card, to your thumping chest. Oh yeah, it definitely was all worth it after all.

[keigologies]

sick heart, sick body, s. spiegel

syn. you both got some healing to do.

gen. romance, sick fic.

warnings. canon typical spike banter.

word count. 2.1k.

note. this was posted on ao3 forever ago and i said it was cross-posted here, but i ... clearly never actually did that... until now... oops (?)

spike has known you for most of his bounty hunting career. you came on the team a year after he himself joined jet, proving yourself to be not some wayward hitchhiker they'd have to take care of on their own dime, but a genuine asset: budgeting skills like no other (which the bebop crew really needed help with, though they would object to if questioned), ways of drawing out bounty heads into false senses of security (without causing a fire fight, something spike could really learn from, according to jet), disciplined in all the ways that matter. you're a quick learner; given the time and patience, you'd been able to pick up on his fighting style and you'd learned enough about mechanical engineering to help him and jet in repairing things on the bebop and the other spaceships on board.

all that to say: you're strong and spike has never known you to be anything else. you're smart, quickwitted, a powerhouse bounty hunter with all the skills that matter. you may be a little quiet, a little meek at points, but you're strong, almost untouchable.

so it surprises him when you come down especially hard with a severe case of the flu. it sounds so... primitive, he thinks, just some stupid earth sickness that honestly can't compete with some of the (quite frankly) awesomely-titled sicknesses that have come to be since the colonization of other planets; really, he justifies to himself, venus sickness sucks, but it is a cool name.

he cringes when he hears you cough for what might seriously be the hundreth time tonight and then mentally punches himself for taking the piss out of what you're going through right now. jet had said you'd contracted it while you guys were hanging around in tijuana and spike had been off tracking bounties; it was just coughing and congestion at first, but apparently, it eventually morphed into something way more severe. you'd quarantined yourself immediately to keep them safe, which spike has respected since he got back earlier in the day, but he shares a bedroom wall with you and damn him if you think he's going to allow you to keep suffering like this without him interfering.

your next coughing fit sends him up and out of the comforting warmth of his bed. it's not like he's angry with you or anything - sure, the coughing is getting on his nerves, but he knows you can't help it and he's not that much of a heartless asshole to be mad at you for keeping him from sleeping specifically because you're ill. really, he finds himself wanting (needing, maybe) to check on you, to make sure you have everything you need so you can rest easy and recover faster.

he realized a long time ago that he'd become jaded about the world. with everything that happened in the before the bebop era, it was clear why he'd become so disillusioned and nonchalant about things. with his past, things just didn't matter as much; he still had life to live, but he'd decided to be a little more reckless about things. he didn't want to waste time worrying about things that didn't concern him, now or ever: whatever happens, happens.

your being sick isn't really any of his business because outside of him having to listen to you cough all night for as long as you're ill, it doesn't concern him in the slightest. he means, it shouldn't concern him because it really shouldn't, but there's a part of him that's... open to the idea of being concerned for you and your wellbeing, which is strange to him because he shut himself off from ideas like that decades ago, it seems like. it's not that he's incapable of it, of caring for another person, but rather that he feels it's more of a betrayal. he'd given his heart to another and he'd never truly gotten it back.

though, in the five long strides it takes him to cross from his door to your own, he thinks that maybe he had gotten it back, years ago even, and he was too afraid to admit it to himself. so many things he'd held himself back from for years, all in the name of a woman who had disappeared into the ether without so much as a trace. she was gone; dead or alive, julia was gone and she had been for a long time. it's been time for him to douse that torch for a while now.

and when he comes to this conclusion in those five strides, he thinks that you getting sick might be a blessing in disguise, at least for him, because he's realizing now that he's been taken with you for quite some time. he's not sure when it first started, this infatuation with you, but it certainly isn't recent. he supposes it doesn't matter, however, because he's realizing it now, on his way to rescue you from an earth virus that definitely had a way lamer name than other sicknesses, which is a comment he's sure you'll laugh at and agree with him about if he brings it up.

once he finally raps his knuckles on the sliding metal door leading to your bedroom, he hears the beginning syllable of "come" before it's interrupted by a ragged cough. your voice, rough and almost whispered, struggles to say "come in," but you finally manage it and he opens the door just enough to slide in, ducking under the door frame.

"you feeling alright?" he asks, closing the door behind him. "you've been hacking up a lung all night."

you do your best to laugh, but it's a sad attempt, barely there and hoarse. a piece of him wilts at the sound, sad to hear you in such a bad condition. "better than i was yesterday."

"sure doesn't sound like it," he answers, turning towards you. he withers a little more.

you look so small in your bed, under what he can only guess to be every single available blanket on the bebop. you have dark circles under your eyes, your cheeks sunken and your skin pallid in accordance. you look like you have one foot in the grave.

"jesus," spike says, crossing the small room to your bedside and sitting on the edge. "you look awful. have you been eating?"

somehow, he's able to recognize your shrug under fifteen different blankets. "we're almost out of food. didn't wanna bother jet about it or throw the budget out of sorts."

"are you being serious right now? fuck the budget. you have to eat when you're sick like this." he genuinely frowns and presses the back of his hand to your forehead and then cheeks. "and you're burning up. did you just decide to forgo medicine in the name of the budget too?"

you shrug again.

"you're the worst." 

but you can tell he's joking because if he really thought that, he wouldn't be here at all. he stands and when he turns to look at you, you've got a questioning expression on your face.

"oh, don't look at me like that. i'm not just going to come in here, berate you for being stupid about being sick, and then leave. i'm going to go see if i can track down some medicine."

"it's not gonna be any of that weird shit you keep in the first aid kit, is it?" you ask, a grimace clear on your face.

"okay, first off, that weird shit is home remedies and they work just fine. second, no, i'm not stupid. that stuff isn't going to cure what you have, so don't worry your pretty little head, alright? the newt stays in the kit another day."

the last comment makes you laugh and this time, it's not as hoarse as it was a few minutes ago, which makes him smile to himself. with you being in the state you are, it's nice to hear a few seconds of your cool, clear laugh. something about it anchors him to this moment in time, reminds him that he's not as cold and as standoffish as he's always presented himself to be in this new life of his; no, he's capable of caring for people like this, of loving someone like this. he's got something good here with you and he's always had it, he's just never let himself think that it was his to actually indulge in.

"i'll see what i can find. in the meantime, start deconstructing that 'money is more important than my pressing health needs' mindset you apparently have going on, okay? i mean, really, you were worried about the budget? you know jet would agree with me here, as much as he complains about not having money. plus, shit that you can't account for happens."

"okay, okay, i get it." you accompany your words with an eye roll, but the smile is clear on your lips, which are cracked from dehydration. "can we save the lecture for when you get back? or just save it for jet altogether since i know you'll end up snitching to him about this eventually anyway?"

spike scowls, but it's obviously playful. "don't go catching an attitude with me. i'm generously playing nurse for you right now when i could very well just let you suffer here alone."

"oh, this is you playing nurse? then you really oughta work on your bedside manner, spiegel. it's atrocious."

he shakes his head and begins backing away from you, arms crossed over his chest. "keep acting like that and maybe i'll feed you that newt after all."

"yeah, yeah, yeah. i think jet's been hiding chamomile tea somewhere in the living room. make some for me, please?"

"you're real lucky i'm in the mood to be compassionate," he jokes, finally turning to open the door. "you want honey with it?"

"if we have any."

"you got it. don't fall asleep before i get back or i'm ratting you out to jet about this tea too."

he hears your hum of affirmation as he steps into the hallway and when he closes the door behind him, he allows himself to assess the whole interaction. if this had occurred at any point before now, he would have felt entirely disgusted with himself, but at present, he realizes he doesn't really mind. you've taken care of him an innumerable amount of times since joining him and jet, serving as the defacto nurse on the bebop, and this could easily be just him returning the favor, but it feels like so much more than that. 

because it is. if it was anyone else, if was any other time, he wouldn't be feeling this way: soft and warm on the inside like heat without his trusty cigarette. when he'd left the syndicate and faked his death, he'd sworn off love and adoration and affection. they had been his downfall once, they would not ruin him a second time. sure, he'd come to trust jet more than he'd trusted anyone before, but he kept even him at arm's length, afraid of what might happen if he let him come too close to orbit. 

and while it worked for the most part, spike has been learning (for what he assumes is quite a long time) that cutting those kinds of human connections of out of one's life isn't the way to go about healing, especially when the person one wants to love has proven time and time again that they're worthy of being trusted. there is no life without love because life without love and companionship is a sickness of the heart and he's let it fester for far too long.

so when he comes back to your room with a hot mug of chamomile tea with honey, a few pieces of hard tack he scrounged up, and some generic medicine, and he finds you asleep? he doesn't find himself all too annoyed with you like he threatened he'd be. no, instead, he feels a little bad when he has to wake you up to drink and eat and take the medicine he had to go digging through too many drawers for. and when you apologize for keeping him up with your coughing, he tells you you're the worst next door neighbor for it (a joke), but he's glad he can help you (not a joke).

and when you ask him if he'll stay for a while (just to make sure i'm not going to die in my sleep, you reason), he agrees and lays under your fifteen blankets with you until your breathing evens out and you're fast asleep, and even then, he stays just a little bit longer than he needs to, relishing in the feeling of sharing a bed with another person again.

he figures you've both got some healing to do, so you won't mind if he falls asleep with you. 

© keigologies 2023. do not translate, copy, or repost my work on any site.

[oddinary4bts]

The Forgotten Spaces | teaser (jjk)

☆summary: you've been dancing on the same dance crew since your teenage years, and you finally have an important role in it. It feels like life is taunting you when your rival comes back after disappearing for a year, ready to tease you every chance he gets. Will the teasing turn into more, or are you going to take him down with you?

☆pairing: photographer and dancer!Jungkook x dancer!reader

☆rating: 18+ (minors DNI, there will be mature content in later chapters)

☆genre: slow (SLOW) burn enemies to lovers, college!au, slice of life!au, angst (oop), smut and fluff

☆warnings: I will be posting individual warnings for each chapter so look out for that! In this teaser: swearing, alcohol, frat party

☆word count: a big fat 145.6K (slow slow burn I said)

☆series masterpost

☆a/n: THE BIG BOY IS READY!!! After two months and a half of work, I can proudly say that I have finished writing the longest fic/book/story I've ever written in my life. The fic will upate every Friday starting from this Friday, April 7 2023, unless I specify that it doesn't (I do have other upcoming projects lol). Once again, I have @moonleeai to thank for beta-ing like the queen she is! You are the best <3

☆Read What Was Hidden by @daechwitatamic, the fic that inspired this big boy! It follows the story of Taehyung and Jo (who's the reader in that fic). Jo, words can't describe how thankful I feel for you writing What Was Hidden. It was a masterpiece from start to finish, and look where it brought us? The Forgotten Spaces wouldn't exist without you, and I thank you with every beat of my heart for giving me this opportunity. Thank you for reading every chapter, for screaming and crying and laughing with me during this whole process. You are amazing and I love you <3

☆☆☆☆☆

For this meeting of our end of the world

It's with you that I want to sing

On the threshold of the memories the dead of today

Them that breathe for us

The forgotten spaces

Je t'écris - Gaston Miron (rough translation by me)

☆☆☆☆☆

You turn around to make your way through the crowd. Jungkook’s lips stretch into a smirk as you move closer, and he cocks an eyebrow once you stop in front of him.

“Missing me?”

You roll your eyes. “Why are you fucking staring at me, Jeon?”

For a second, darkness overcomes Jungkook’s gaze, but he blinks and it’s gone. “I’m just chilling here, I wasn’t looking at you.”

You say nothing, raising your eyebrows as you fold your arms on your chest. He scoffs, glancing away from you.

There’s a moment where you both don’t speak, and you realize you have nothing else to tell him. You’ve never been friends, and you’ve never wanted to be friends with him. You’re about to turn on your heels to head back to the dancefloor when a question pops into your mind.

“Did you leave because of me?” you ask.

His eyes widen and his mouth falls open. You rarely see him expressing something other than contempt when it comes to you, and it makes you want to disappear.

“Is that what you all think?”

You scoff. “What else do you think they believe?”

He doesn’t know what to say. He just shrugs his shoulders, looking anywhere but at your face. You even notice his eyes dipping to your cleavage, but he’s quick to recover and look at a spot on your shoulder instead.

“Seriously, Jeon, why did you fucking leave?”

“I told you earlier, it’s none of your business.” He runs a hand through his hair, which makes it fall in front of his eyes a little. You only then notice his hair is longer, fluffier than what it was last year. “And no, it’s not because of you. Though I’m pretty sure you like me being gone, huh? Hoba told me you took my place.”

"Someone had to," you mutter.

In fact, yes, you like being second in command. You and Jungkook had fought for the spot a few years ago, when the last leader had to leave the group because his girlfriend was pregnant. Hobi, who had been second then, became the leader, and it had taken him forever to choose who would replace him.

The only reason why he had chosen Jungkook was because Jungkook was his friend. Yet, Jungkook had never let you live it down, had always felt the need to remind you of it. Even today, when he’s been gone for over a year.

“Are your choreographies any good?” Jungkook asks. It’s a little condescending because he knows damn well you’ve never been good with coming up with a choreography. One of your many shortcomings when it comes to dance. “Wait, have you even created one?”

You see red again. "Fuck you", you say through gritted teeth.

“That’s what I thought.” You want to punch him, to curse him for giving up on the group and then making you feel like you shouldn’t be second. But Jungkook’s not done yet. “The crew’s not going to last long, is it?”

“Maybe if you didn’t fucking abandon everyone out of the blue we wouldn’t be in this position.” You shake your head. “But no, you’ve always been so important uh, you think the world revolves around you and you don’t care that your actions have consequences.”

Jungkook wasn’t really angry before. He was mostly trying to get on your nerves because it’s always been his favourite activity. But now, his face flushes red, and a vein pops on his neck as he stares you down. “You have no fucking idea why I left. I had no fucking choice.”

“You could have told us.”

You’re almost screaming now. But you’re alone where you stand, and you wonder if the crowd has moved to give you space on purpose, sensing the storm that is coming.

"I had nothing to tell you guys," Jungkook says.

You shut your eyes, taking a deep breath before looking at him again. “You know what, I don’t even fucking care anymore. We don’t need you on the crew.”

He chuckles, bitterly. “Oh you don’t? I recall you fucking up on live TV last year.”

Because Scottie had to take his place in the choreography. A choreography you had been working on for years, gone to waste because Jungkook had disappeared.

“You watched us?” It’s your turn to let out a bitter chuckle. “You missed us too much? Couldn’t stay gone?”

“You’re a fucking bitch when you want to, uh?”

It takes you by surprise, not expecting him to straight up insult you. “Excuse me?”

“No, but you really are.” He looks around, before settling his big eyes back on you. “I had my reasons. You getting angry at me about it won’t change anything.”

Chapter one

☆☆☆☆☆

SO ARE WE EXCITED?? Bc I sure am! Let me know what you think!!!

All rights reserved to @/oddinary4bts, 2023. Do not copy, repost or translate.

[0wen-b3rnard-anton1o]

Accent

Matt x y/n

Tw- swearing

Summary- you join the triplets as a guest in there new podcast

The moment the triplets had mentioned the idea of starting a podcast to me I wanted to guest star on it. Seeing as I have always been there on the sidelines rooting for them, I'm in most of there old videos that you would have to scroll down forever to find. But slowly stopped making an appearance when there fan girls claimed I was "way to close to them" and "my incredibly toxic behavior was bringing them down" so instead I stayed behind the camera and helped them out with most of there videos, even if it's buying ice at four in the morning (or cleaning up the massive water spill off of nicks bathroom floor) or simply just gathering the best questions for QandA when they were to oveworked to do it themselves.

And though they'll never get around to crediting me for it, I even came up with there podcasts name. Unfortunately the three of them used argue to the ends of earth that starring on the podcast was a great way to attract hate like it did last time around, well... that was until Matt and I began dating a few months ago and accidentally leaked it to the internet while on Instagram live. And I guess the crazy fans matured with age, well most of them anyway because the hate wasnt nearly as bad we all had anticipated.

So now that I've reapproached Matt about it seeing as theyve already posted there first episode leads me to now. Nick began checking the cameras as Chris and Matt took there usual seats and i excitedly sat down fiddling with the mic infront of me. Hey dont break it Nick scolded me I held my hands up leaving it alone yes sir i quipped back, Chris chuckled want headphones y/n/n? He asked I nodded and Matt who was closest grabbed a pair and handed it over to me. I put them on staring down at the cord attached to the headphones confused, Matt who had noticed my confusion stood up walking over to me taking the cord from my hands. He leaned over me the fabric of his shirt brushed up against my cheek exposing the smell of his cologne, tilting the mic downwards he plugged it in. The plug ins at the bottom he told me gesturing to the headphones that were now connected to the mic.

I looked up at him my face close to his i sent him a bright smile making his cheeks flush, Alright how bout we go to our seprate spaces I jumped back not expecting Nick's voice to yell through the headphones into my ears. NICK! I yelled back Oops, he looked away avoiding my glaring eyes. At least we know it works now? Matt said now back in his original seat ok, ok, welcome back campers, I'm Nick Sturniolo he looks to the camera introducing the start to the episode I'm Matthew I smile at the mention of his full first name as ive always loved the name Matthew, and I'm just Chris. Nick begins to talk again, and as our first guest we have the beautiful y/n aw Nick we all know your the beautiful one here I told him Chris and Matt both put a hand to there chest mimicking fake offence. oh right sorry I started Chris your beautiful to, Chris grinned at me proudly as Matt looked at me waiting for me to continue the sentence and when I didnt he scoffed making me laugh in return alright most of you would recognize her as Matt's girlfriend, as well as our mutal friend were so happy to have her with us today,

I'm happy to be here i waved to one of the cameras in the corner, todays topic is......tour! Chris continued the conversation ooooh yes I loved last tour though i was backstage most of it I told them the stage wasnt much better it was so hot up there Nick nodded agreeing and Matt just put a hnd to his forhead well maybe if you didnt wear that big ass jacket Chris rolled his eyes the team colors are going to be so fire though I said ah yes agreed Nick replied team purples so gonna win mmm, I dont think so Chris laughed wait what team are you on y/n he cut off from his previous sentence i think thats pretty fucking obvious chris, nick shook his head. ya its clearly team bl- team orange actually I interrupted matt the three of them all whipped there heads in my direction Chris put his head on the table laughing to death matts mouth agape your joking, shes joking right? he asked nick alright sorry to disappoint Chris but i am team blue Matt looked at me smiling thats what i thought he flexed his arm NOO! Nick yelled at him the edits his voice trailed off at the end

I bursted out laughing and they all joined in, I'm so exited for upcoming tour the last tour was so lit. Chris added I was just sick the whole time I replied still slightly laughing, Hey at least you didn't get a phone thrown at you. OH! Nick exclaimed thanks that brings me to another topic no more throwing shit Nick told the camera. yes! Like bracelets are one thing, but ya if you throw your phone again your not getting it back Nick interrupted Chris, Matt smiled honestly, if you throw a brick at me ill throw it right back at ye head I clasped my hand around my mouth not expecting the boston accent to come out I grabbed the mic deviously ya, ill throw it right back at ye head Ii mocked him using my best impression of his accent. He just looked at me pursing his lips so done with me, your not even doing it right he told me yea its like right at ye-a head Chris joined in bringing out his accent as well wait like, forget about it i tried again YA! like that there ya go Chris clapped never dropping the accent i followed suit responding thank ya thank ya Nick rolled his eyes we continued on with tour talk for another twenty minutes.

Ending it with Nick smiling wide alright see ya next time on cut the cameras using his inner boston just for the fun of it, I got up stretching handing my head phones back to Matt. Nick made sure all the cameras were off Matt got up standing next to me wrapping an arm around me I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek that was really fun he told me resting his head on the top of mine it really was I nodded just let me know or anyone of us know if anyone starts leaving mean messgaes ok Matt told me seriosness lacing his tone i will i will dont worry i reached up to ruffle his hair im glad to be back in your content and im still happy to help out i looked at all of them happy to have them in my life oh, speaking of helping Chris added do you mind buying 7 pounds of gummy worms? I looked at him waiting for him to say he was joking but when he still looked dead serious i shrugged laughing ya, ya i can.

THANK YOU FOR BEING YOU!!! and for reading! Feel free to request, love ya

[sphxremint]

(man this art is really old but im usin it anyway lol)

☆ Heya heya一it's me, Mint!

I'm the guy that does the funny draws (and music (and sometimes edits)).

Some of you have definitely heard that line way too many times before. Or some of you probably just know me as the Simple Yet Stupid guy. If you haven't seen me before, congratulations! You've successfully met "that guy" (me) for the first time!

This is my tumblr. I reblog stuff I think is neat and post art/music/stuff I like once every [unspecified time frame]. I dipped (sort of) from Twitter (ah, sorry一ECKS [X] as it's called now) like a year or two ago because some guy had too much fun ruining it. Now I'm here more often!

Right, this is an intro post. lemme get on that...

☆ cool things you should know

• I'm 19 (born July 4th, on MINT day. not whatever the hell independence day is. eugh)

• I'm aroace (certain of it now! we out here)

• I'm black (there's like no way to make this funnier it just is what it is)

☆ some other neat stuff

• I draw!

I'm definitely not consistent with it at all, but I'm trying, 'cause it's fun and I like doing it. I may be into a lot of medias too, but I'm mostly an oc artist, and it's a curse I will bear until the end of time

• I make music!

I'm also not very consistent with it, but I'm a bit less open about it... I do it for fun, really; though it's more of a personal thing compared to my art.

• My timezone is CST

...which is about UTC -05:00. if you need to know that. i know we all got varied timezones

• I'm very good at being inconsistent!

(such as basic punctuation and grammar. cause thats important. sometimes i'll actually use apostrophes and sometimes ill just completely forget mid-sentence. lmao)

☆ my 5 core interests

aka. The main things I like! I switch between the 5 of these on a whim. Be ready when it happens.

• Sonic The Hedgehog (he's just THAT GUY, yknow. just a guy who loves adventure. ultimate life forms and whatnot)

• Kirby (i'd forfeit everything for him. #1 blorbo living life)

• FINAL FANTASY (esPECIALLY XIII and XIV. but it's mostly XIV. two lalas ready for Dawntrail WOOO)

• Celeste (#1 game ever. i love everything about it so much, i naturally get my friends to play it. i'm also pretty good at speedrunning. smile)

• and anything osc! (though I'm mostly just in the "surface layer" of whatever the fandom is right now. bfdi, ii, boto, ppt2... funny shows go brrr)

☆ cool and awesome tags

□ #mint.txt = probably some random garbled text i spat out one night

□ #mintdraws = i sure do! and you should go look at it!

□ #mint.png = funny image included (not guaranteed)

□ #mint.mp3 = rarely use this but i still want people to know i make music

□ #mint.ask = because i get those. sometimes art, sometimes stupid funny stuff

□ #simple yet stupid = yeah its for those funny objects i talk about. i put this one here just in case

□ #mint's expoboard = i'm probably talking about one of my ocs

☆ and some extra stuff i guess

□ my sonas and stuff

if you need that

□ my carrd!

go read it cause most of my extra links (and contacts) are already there

□ my toyhou.se

Did you know I have a toyhou.se? because I never shut up about my characters, and sometimes people just need the Repository of Information. well... here it is.

Okay. I'll update this post more as time goes on, but... that's about it. That was probably like a read and a half. oops.

Remember: if you do follow me, you are (unofficially) officially consigning yourself to my presence and any stupidity and/or brainrot that follows.

...if that's cool with you. lmao =ᴗ=)b

(big shoutouts to the old pinned i had. you will forever be missed)

last updated: 01 / 15 / 2024

[diamondzart]

*claps* ANALYSIS/THEORY TIME GUYS

I just finished rewatching Despicable Me 2 and I got a bunch of screenshots here yeah lets gooooo! You already know which character is the main focus for me here ;)

Okay I just wanted to try and clarify the whole “they worked together for 40 years and then Nefario just straight up abandoned Gru at first opportunity”. I’m here to say that he probably never planned to leave forever. More like he wanted to lure Gru back into being evil. And this leaving was just a step that he needed to make for this plan to work out properly.

As we know from Minions 2, in his early 30s Nefario was about to start living honest life without any crimes and other stuff like that, but Gru just came and dragged him back, this time for the rest of his life. And now he is in mid 70s, there is already no time for him to change the lifestyle again, he is already fully devoted to villainy and can’t imagine his existence without it. And then Gru goes “oops yeah I wanna live an honest life”, and Nefario is like “…….man what the f**k did I tell you like 40 years ago???”

He just can’t change himself anymore, he feels out of place, but he doesn’t want to grow apart with Gru since he is probably the only one who he can truly call his family. So he tries to do the same thing that Gru did to him all those years ago - drag him back into being villain.

He goes to work for El Macho and slowly takes the minions after him, and basically this whole purple army thing is just a big bait for Gru. I’m almost certain that he convinced El Macho that they need to invite Gru into this plan, since he was really happy to finally see him in El Macho’s lair and even brought the confetti to celebrate their reunion as a team. He was hoping that Gru will get inspired, that they will be back to being villains and will take over the world together with their new forces.

I’m pretty sure that at some point Nefario would just quietly get rid of El Macho and go “oops, looks like there are two of us again, cool right?”

He looks quite disappointed when Gru doesn’t show any enthusiasm for the idea. He doesn’t want to take over the world without him. All of this was just to bring his evil boi back into the business. Aw.

And he definitely didn’t expect El Macho to sic the purple minion on Gru. That was the moment that he realised that the situation went out of control. “Destroying the family in case Gru doesn’t join us” clearly wasn’t on his to-do list.

So almost immediately after that Nefario goes back to Gru’s side and sabotages El Macho’s plans. Because the whole plan of luring Gru into the villainy transformed into a big life threat for everyone too fast. Not only for Gru, but for the girls and Lucy as well.

Does Nefario treat the girls like granddaughters? I think yeah, kind of. His attitude to them evolved from DM 1 a lot. I think he even started seeing in them the echoes of his past with 11 yr old Gru. Just look how happy he is about bringing them with him into the battle and giving them guns and stuff, he forgets for a minute that Gru is much more protective about children then Marlena was.

There is a sparkle in him that reminded him of the younger days when he and small Gru were just having genuine fun. Maybe he even felt for a few moments that he went back in time, he wasn’t as excited about anything through the whole movie as much as he was about giving the gOrls the guns and letting them have pure fun without consequences. He is clearly having the time of his life during the whole final battle scene.

Oh my GOD that was a lot. I hope you like the whole thing, I spent like 50 minutes on making this post, lol :D

Any thoughts, maybe? I’d be very happy to hear from you, thank you for reading! <3

[dragonsdomain]

Out of Office, chapter 1

I’ve decided to start an Underworld Office longfic despite knowing the fandom is small and that I have never written a longfic before. Been working at it for some time now and have only now gotten it together enough to post it. Hope you enjoy! (Also if you do read it, say hi! There aren’t many of us Underworld Office fans.)

This chapter is mostly buildup, with Eugene struggling with his whole morality crisis while Charlie is generally angsty and Luke, Joy, and Oliver worry about Eugene. Set a couple days after the Charlie in Underworld “Charlie and Eugene” ending. Also on Ao3.

Station 00 is approaching. Please stand clear of the doorways.

The subway pulled to a stop at the station, doors sliding open. Eugene was the only one who got off there.

The place that used to be the station of the underworld office was silent, deserted. Bright yellow caution tape was strung across the entrance to the stairway and back and forth in front of piles of rubble. Eugene ducked under the tape and quietly stepped into the underworld office (or the information center, as it'd be known to the living).

Cracks splayed across the windows, but otherwise, the place was exactly like Eugene remembered it being for years. Except empty. Completely, horribly empty. Devoid of any form of life or death. It was still hard to comprehend what had happened just a few days ago.

Eugene walked over to the lost and found cabinet, his footsteps echoing loudly in the silence. He put a hand on the door, but didn't find the strength to open it. He already knew what was inside. Hayden's hat, unneeded by him once he decided to leave the office for good and stay with his family. Joan's cane, with her and the ghost she'd killed trapped inside for an indefinite amount of time. Boss's charm, which held many evil spirits inside, which he'd left behind after realizing he didn't need to guard the spirit door anymore and leaving. And then the braided lock of River's hair, left behind when she passed into the world beyond. Gone forever.

Eugene slid down the cabinet's door, sitting down at its foot and leaning against it. He felt so tired. He had no idea how he was going to take care of things all on his own now. Why did they all leave? Why did River feel so content passing on? Why did Boss put such an effort into keeping them all there only to leave as soon as he decided he could ditch his responsibility?

Eugene's eyes started to sting. What made Joan think that man she'd killed years ago needed her more than everyone who was still here, still alive? Why did she leave Eugene all alone? And what about Hayden? Was working with Eugene in the underworld office really so hard that he never wanted to see him again?

Eugene coughed to try to clear his throat and wiped at his eyes. The tears just kept coming though, and he couldn't stop the thoughts either. Was being with him really just a part of River's prison? Was she happier in the world beyond now that she didn't have to worry about protecting him all the time?

"Ugh." Eugene held his head in his hands and tried to will himself to calm down. Mostly by repeating a mantra of calm down, calm down in his head, which possibly helped a little bit, but probably didn't, since he was still choked up and feeling thick in the head. "Come on..." he whimpered, begging his brain to get ahold of itself. It had always been nice to have River or Joan to talk him through things when he got like this before. Maybe that was harder for River than he'd ever realized. Maybe that was what she was glad to get away from. He'd thought he was finally doing something meaningful, but turned out he was still just as much of a burden as he'd ever been.

There was a crash of glass shattering on the floor. Eugene's head flew up. A man with a large scar across his face was standing outside the door, looking in surprise at a piece of glass which had broken off of the cracked door and shattered on the floor.

"Oops," he said. "Haha, not a very solid door, huh?" The man winced. "I'm sorry. Will that cost me?"

Eugene stared at him for a minute, trying to get his thoughts together.

"...You alright?" The man tentatively opened the door, wincing as another piece of glass fell loose. "I'll pay for it."

"Augh, no. Sorry. It was already broken," Eugene wiped at his eyes, hoping he didn't look too horrible.

"Oh, thanks." The man slid the shards of glass against the wall with his shoe. He cleared his throat. "Should I come back later? I understand if this is a bad time."

"No, it's alright. I'm here anyway. What do you need?" Eugene jumped at the chance to be pulled out of his thoughts.

"Okay, so... is it true that this place has a history of the um..." He looked around, then whispered "...paranormal?"

Eugene leaned back. "Yes." He'd tried to keep things on the down-low, but he never wanted to lie to people.

The man looked down, uncomfortable. "There's actually someone I've been wanting to talk to, um, someone dead. If that's possible. Her name is Charlie."

Eugene sucked in a breath, his eyebrows flying up. "Died at about 17? About yea tall?" He put up a hand.

"Yeah!" The man perked up. "You know her?"

Eugene ran a hand through his hair nervously. "Well, yes, but... I'm afraid your timing isn't great. I don't know where she is right now."

The man wilted. "Ugh. Guess I should've known it wouldn't be so easy."

"I can't promise anything, but if I see her again, I could ask her about you. What's your name? And how do you know Charlie?" Somehow it hadn't occurred to Eugene that people from Charlie's life could still be alive.

"I'm Mike. I knew her during high school... something happened and..." Mike looked away. "I don't know. I want to talk to her about it if I can."

Eugene raised an eyebrow. Charlie still hadn't told him much about what she'd remembered from her past, so he mused about what Mike could be talking about. "Okay, Mike. If I see her again, I'll mention you."

Mike chuckled nervously. "Thanks." He turned to go, cringing again at the sight of the door.

"Wait, Mike, one more thing," Eugene stopped him. "How did you hear that you could get help with the paranormal at this station? I thought that was pretty private knowledge." Among the living, that is.

Mike glanced back, then looked away. "It... might sound weird. But I had a dream about it."

"A dream..." Eugene gazed into space thoughtfully.

"Well, anyway, thanks for your help." Mike paused as it looked like he realized something. He dug a business card out of his pocket. "Here's my number. Call me if you find out anything."

"Oh, right." Eugene took the card. "I'll tell you what I find out."

Mike flashed a smile and a thumbs-up, then he gingerly opened the door and stepped outside.

Eugene took a deep breath. "...A dream, huh?" Who would give him a dream about the underworld office?

...

Charlie sat in the graveyard, leaning against someone's headstone. It wasn't hers. She'd searched around to see if hers happened to be there, but really she didn't think she'd died in this town anyway, so she wasn't surprised to not find it.

Charlie groaned at the sky. It wasn't raining, but the layer of gray clouds made everything look gloomy, like she felt. Why was it that she just appeared and then managed to drive away every ghost who showed any interest in helping her within a few days? Of course it could be argued that none of that was technically her fault, but c'mon, who is she kidding? Her showing up was the only thing that changed before suddenly the whole underworld office fell apart.

She opened and closed her scissors with the satisfying sounds of metal against metal. Eugene was probably all depressed now because of her. He was probably mad at her too. Ugh, who wouldn't be? Classic Charlie, messing everything up just by existing.

She snipped off the head of a nearby dandelion. She'd thought about it, and it didn't seem like there was much she could do at this point but leave Eugene alone. I mean, maybe she could go and... what, apologize? She'd never been very good at that, as evidenced by the way she'd soundly ruined her life. Whether or not her father had been right in the way he treated her, the title of a bad daughter was definitely one Charlie deserved.

Charlie gave an overdramatic sigh, then felt annoyed that no one was there to hear it. Being ignored was the worst. Maybe she should just go confront Eugene even though he was probably mad at her. Anything was better than just being alone, wasn't it?

After jumping around for a minute in a failed attempt to learn how to fly, Charlie grumbled and then stalked off towards the subway station.

Charlie wasn't sure exactly what her plan was as she slipped between the living people at the train station and boarded. She only really put in the effort to realize that it was stupid to expect Eugene to be at station 00 right now after she had already stowed away on the train. Maybe he was at home. Or maybe he was actually injured from the explosion and was at the hospital. Or maybe he was off knitting with his gramma, she didn't know!

Charlie stashed her scissors between two seat cushions then took advantage of the fact that none of the mortals could see her to splay herself melodramatically across the subway floor and moan. It did help her feel a little better. Maybe overdramatic expressions of weirdome were healthy or something. Therapists would be interested to know.

Charlie pulled herself up and jumped around trying to fly again until the train pulled to a stop and she fell over. Station 00, please stand clear of the doors.

Charlie grabbed her scissors and walked right up to the door. It opened, and she casually-- jumped to the side in a frantic motion because Mike himself walked straight through the door.

"Nope," Charlie said to herself, then dashed out the door and away from Mike.

She wandered over to the wrecked-looking underworld office room and was surprised to find Eugene there, sitting against the wall before a poorly-cleaned-up spray of glass shards. He looked like he'd just had a whole crying angst-fest. Weirdo weak baby. Or, um. Ahem. She should probably try to be more empathetic.

Anyway, he was also sitting there all humanly, so that was a little frustrating.

Charlie walked through the door to stand in front of Eugene and started swinging her scissors around in his face. He startled and scrambled up away from them. "Ack! Charlie? Be more careful with those!"

Charlie rolled her eyes, though ended up paling as she remembered the horrible accident with Mike. She definitely did need to be more careful with her scissors, actually.

"I thought you'd left..." Eugene said absently, looking at Charlie's scissors. "You have your scissors. You don't need to stay."

Charlie rolled her eyes. "Leave your body, idiot, then we can talk."

"Sorry," Eugene said, almost like he'd heard her. "I'll head home now, then I can leave my body and talk to you."

Charlie cocked an eyebrow. "Great timing. The subway literally just left."

Eugene stepped carefully over the glass and found a seat on a bench in front of where the subway would stop. He checked that Charlie's scissors were still following him as she sat down on the bench beside him.

She rested her chin on her hand. "You're gonna have to teach me to fly at some point. Man, would've been cool to learn from River though. She was fast."

Eugene didn't answer, obviously. If he was mad at her, why wasn't he saying anything? Was this something Eugene did that she didn't know about yet? Give people the silent treatment when he was upset? He'd talked to Boss...

At length, the subway came. Charlie sighed, then stuck her scissors in Eugene's shirt pocket. He jumped, looking down at them in surprise. He looked around himself in confusion, then got on the train with Charlie following unseeable behind.

Eugene sat like a normal person as the subway chugged along. After a minute a middle school girl walked up to him and they chatted for a while while Charlie hung off of the bars making bored sounds.

At long last the group reached Eugene's stop and Charlie bounced anxious circles around Eugene while he walked to his apartment. At the glorious moment of truth, he lay down on his bed and put the guardian flower in his mouth.

Eugene woke up to Charlie bemoaning the pain of waiting. "uuUUUUUUUHH-- oh finally!" She stood up straight from the position she'd held splayed across Eugene's desk chair. "That took forever."

"Heh, sorry..." Eugene handed Charlie back her scissors. "Why did you let me hold your scissors?"

"Wha? Oh, I just didn't want to freak out the train people by floating scissors around." She rolled her eyes.

"You really trust me with...? Oh, nevermind." Eugene looked Charlie up and down, taking in her dark body again. "Why did you come back? I thought you were anxious to leave as soon as you got your scissors."

Charlie shrugged. "Being alone is boring." She raised an eyebrow at him. "Aren't you mad at me?"

Eugene stared. "For what?"

"Uh, duh? For ruining your life??" Charlie waved her hands helplessly.

Eugene frowned. "I missed the part where you 'ruined my life'."

"Ugh, well, fine, whatever," Charlie batted the topic away. "Glad you're not mad at me, I guess."

Eugene took a seat on the side of his bed beside his body (beside himself, hehe-). "Yeah. None of what happened was really something you can be blamed for. Anyway, since you're here, there's something I want to talk to you about. Someone came by the office today--"

"Uh oh," Charlie mumbled. Don't be Mike, don't be Mike...

"He said his name was Mike."

Charlie threw her scissors onto the carpet.

"Woah, are you okay?" Eugene put his hands up defensively, or maybe to try to calm her down.

"Yes! No! Ugh-- I dunno!" Charlie gripped her hair. "AUGH! I know I should talk to him, but I don't want to!"

"Why not? What happened between you two?" Eugene stood up, stepping towards her cautiously.

"You wouldn't get it!" Charlie said. She started pacing. "Ugh, can we just not talk about it?

"Well... okay," Eugene said. "Why did you come to me then?"

"Can we just do something normal? Like do a patrol or something? I'm so bored." Charlie collapsed into Eugene's chair.

Eugene cringed. "No, sorry. I'm actually going to meet my friends pretty soon, so I can't."

"Ugh," Charlie flopped backwards dramatically. "Being a ghost is boring."

Eugene shrugged. "You could go on a patrol yourself. Or make some friends."

Charlie raised an eyebrow. "And how'd making ghost friends work for you?"

Eugene flinched, and she regretted what she'd said pretty quickly. He stared at her for a second, then said quietly, "Maybe it'll be good for me to spend some time away from you." 

"Okay, whatever," Charlie said, looking away. "Have fun with your human friends."

Eugene ignored her rather pointedly as he lay down in his body and woke up. He stood and left the room, leaving Charlie alone.

...

Luke glanced over at Eugene in concern. Joy and Oliver were chatting happily, but Eugene had been pretty quiet this whole time. Where everyone else's sodas had almost been all consumed, Eugene's was nearly full. Luke tried to catch his eye, but Eugene seemed lost in his head.

Luke elbowed him. "You alright, Eugene?"

Eugene jumped, then sighed. "I don't know. A lot has happened recently."

Joy leaned over. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Eugene looked torn. "I don't know. I... no. It's fine." He didn't look like he believed that.

Luke felt frustrated. Why wouldn't Eugene talk about it? He knew better than to push though.

"It has to do with the station getting destroyed, doesn't it?" Oliver asked. "Did something big happen with your work?"

Luke pushed Oliver. "Hey, he doesn't have to talk if he doesn't want to."

Eugene hesitated, then muttered, "Something about that." His eyes dropped down to his soda cup.

"Really?" Oliver snorted. "You have some crazy business happening with your Eugene-ish stuff. I wish I knew more."

Luke glared at him. Did he understand the concept of subtlety? Oliver caught his evil eye and only looked confused.

Eugene shook his head. "No, you don't." He drooped. "It's probably better that way. Maybe it would've been better for me too."

Luke glanced at Oliver and Joy, seeing they shared his concern. "Haven't you been working there for years? I thought you liked it."

Eugene curled in on himself, and Joy took the tipping cup from his hand before it could spill. "I liked the people there," he said wetly.

"The people?" Luke sat up straight in alarm. "Like Hayden? Did something happen to him?"

"Guys, I don't..." Eugene curled down, back, and Luke suddenly noticed that Eugene was surrounded. Luke slipped away off of the bench, and it was like a gate had been flung open. Eugene sprung to his feet. "I should go. I think I need some time to think."

"You sure? I mean, we don't have to talk about things that make you uncomfortable. We could just hang out, couldn't we?" Joy said worriedly.

"No, I'm..." Eugene backed away again. "N-not now. Sorry." He turned stiffly and hurried off.

The three watched him walk off. "Should one of us go after him?" Oliver asked tentatively.

"No," Luke said, with more harshness than he'd intended. He winced, then looked back at Joy and Oliver sadly. "Come on, guys. I thought you knew not to pressure him like that."

Oliver's eyes widened, and Joy hung her head abashedly. "Luke, we're..." Joy took a level breath, then met Luke's gaze again. "We're just worried. There's something going on in Eugene's life, and we want to help."

"He'll tell us when he's ready!" Luke reprimanded. "You can't push him!"

Joy's gaze softened for a second. Then it hardened again. "Like he's told us about what goes on at his job?"

Luke opened his mouth to counter, then shut it again. He had nothing to say to that.

"Just yesterday, he was caught in an explosion," Joy stated. "And we don't know why. Except that it had something to do with his job."

"It's not our place..." Luke trailed off as he remembered what Eugene had told him years ago. That his job was dangerous, that it might even kill him.

"As his friends, isn't it our responsibility to do what we can to make sure he's safe?"

Luke looked down.

Oliver tilted his head. "What do you mean? What are you suggesting?"

Joy looked the way Eugene had left and folded her arms. "I'm not sure yet. But we have to do something. If Eugene won't tell us what's going on, we'll have to find out ourselves."

"Spying?!" Oliver exclaimed, looking a little too excited.

"What? No!" Luke burst in. "What's wrong with you? We can't spy on our friend!"

Joy slapped a hand over Oliver's mouth. "That's not what I said, okay? We don't have to spy. We probably have enough information already that we could figure out a lot of things just by sharing info."

Luke frowned. "I don't like it."

"We don't have much of a choice," Joy said. She looked down. "It does feel weird. I know. And it's not ideal. But imagine if Eugene had been hurt in that explosion. We've waited too long already."

"I get it," Oliver said. "He won't like it, but it might be what's best for him anyway."

Joy and Oliver looked to Luke.

Luke avoided their gazes, trying to think. This didn't feel right. He treasured the trust Eugene had for him, and he didn't want to lose it. But what if being too much of a pushover made him lose him? Joy was right. Something about Eugene's work was dangerous, and for all they knew, it might get worse.

"Okay," Luke said, not looking at Joy as she perked up. "Fine."

"Thanks, Luke." Joy gave a relieved sigh. "I don't think we could do it without you. You know Eugene better than anyone."

Luke felt a stab of guilt. Was he really doing this?

Oliver checked his watch and cringed. "Actually, I've got to go right now. Can we do this another time?"

Joy sighed. "Alright, fine. Tomorrow at the latest."

...

Eugene lay down on his bed, guardian flower in his mouth. He wasn't so naive that he could really believe it, but he could almost imagine himself waking up as a ghost to be greeted by River or Joan, Hayden or Boss. That wasn't realistic though. They'd all moved on, one way or another.

Hopefully Charlie was gone by now. He didn't want to try to talk to her at the moment.

Eugene closed his eyes, and when he opened them, he was still alone.

Eugene habitually started flying towards station 00. After a minute or so, he stopped, realizing that he didn't have reason to go there anymore. There would be no one waiting for him.

"It's weird having no one to talk to," Eugene muttered to himself. Would talking to himself be weird? Hadn't he done it all the time when he was young? There was no one around to hear it anyways.

Eugene squeezed his arms. No, talking to himself didn't feel right. He didn't want to remember those days. This was too quiet.

Eugene flew off towards Sean's flower shop. Hopefully he'd be able to find the friendly ghost there (at least Sean hadn't left him). Alone, the ghost world seemed much gloomier than it usually felt. So quiet, so grey. Though maybe the quiet was a good thing? It meant no monsters were wreaking havoc, probably.

Distractedly, Eugene tried to slip through the wall of the flower shop, ending up konking into it. He bounced back, surprised, til he remembered that the lock of River's hair was still around the door, preventing ghosts from phasing into this building. He chuckled, then felt a stab of loneliness at how there was no one to laugh with him.

Eugene went around to the front door and tugged on the handle. Locked. Made sense. It was nighttime, after all.

So did this mean he should just give up? No talking to Sean for tonight? Maybe. It wasn't a big deal, it shouldn't be. Eugene used to be able to deal with being alone just fine. Mostly.

Eugene found himself staring at the coil of River's hair around the hinges of the doors. It had remained when she'd passed on. He absently wondered if ghosts always left behind their artifacts when they passed, if there were a bunch of them lying around the world, but he didn't really care about the answer.

"Eugene?"

Eugene jumped. Sean was on the other side of the door.

Eugene sagged. "Sean, hey. It's good to see you."

Sean clicked open the lock and pushed the door open softly so Eugene could come in. He turned back to Eugene, a look of concern on his face. "Are you okay?"

"Ye-" Eugene hesitated. He sighed. "Not really. But I dunno if... I dunno. I just don't want to be alone, I guess. Could you come with me on patrol tonight?"

"Oh, wow. I'm not sure how much help I'd be, but yeah, I could. But what about Charlie?"

"Not Charlie." Eugene shook his head. "She's not the person I want to be around right now."

"Oh, uh, okay," Sean worried his lips.

Eugene shook his head, then straightened. "We've got to get going. We'll have a lot of ground to cover tonight if it's just us."

"We're going to be careful, right?"

Eugene stared at the floor.

"Eugene?" Sean tapped his shoulder.

Eugene curled up. "Sean, how do you know what's right or wrong? How do you know what to do? If we decide what's good or bad ourselves, what does anything matter? How can we really be good? What's the point?" Eugene started pacing. "It's so unfair. Why do we feel the pain of our sins only if we're aware we did wrong? Why?"

"Uhh, hey." Sean laid a hand on Eugene's shoulder, stopping him. "Let's sit down and talk. Patrol can wait."

Soon enough the two of them were seated on a pair of stools behind the counter. Eugene tried to tap anxiously on the wood and was disappointed that it made no sound.

"So I don't actually know if this is true, I'm just thinking, but here's how I reason it," Sean said nervously. "Um, it might sound a little dumb. And maybe over-optimistic. But I don't think what kind of spirit you have here is the final judgement. I mean, we know this is an in-between space."

"What do you mean?" Eugene asked tiredly.

"Um, I don't think how dark a spirit is actually represents how bad they are. Or- we know that, I mean..." Sean froze for a minute, and Eugene waited for him to collect his thoughts. "I think it's how much the spirit wants to change."

Eugene sat up straighter. "What makes you think that?"

Sean looked down at his hands and twiddled his thumbs. "Like I said, I don't know really. I don't have evidence for this. But I feel like it'd be nice if we only passed on when we felt ready. 'Cause maybe the real judgement is beyond, and we'll get whatever reward we're ready for. If that makes sense."

Eugene looked out the window, at the moonlight streaming in. "...I guess that's a nicer way to think about it." He couldn't bring himself to really believe it though. Seemed too easy, like an excuse. The world had never been as nice as he'd come to believe.

Sean hunched his shoulders uncomfortably. "I'm really sorry I didn't tell you guys earlier. About how dark a spirit is not matching how bad they actually are. I guess I just thought, um, from my perspective it kind of seemed like my way was a more complicated version of Boss' explanation. I didn't think it mattered, so I didn't want to stress you guys about it." He hung his head. "I guess this is all... kind of my fault."

Eugene sighed. "It's Boss' fault, Sean." Eugene rested his chin on his hand. "Or maybe it's my fault. You figured it out all on your own. I should've figured it out too. Maybe a lot of this could've been avoided if I'd just..."

"What? That's not any more fair than saying it's my fault." Sean frowned. "Anyone could have figured that out....I don't think it makes sense to blame you."

Eugene looked up at him for a minute, then looked down. "What does all this mean about the..." he made air quotes. "'evil' spirits we've been fighting this whole time? If they're innocent..."

Sean waved his hands. "Wait, that's not what I said. I mean, uh, I don't know. They could be innocent? Ish? But I don't know. We're not sure. Maybe."

Eugene dropped his head into his hands. "Hayden was about to turn into a monster just because he thought it was wrong to feel lonely and jealous. And he only thought that because..." Eugene felt sick to his stomach (even though it was ghostly and empty), "...I've told him that. I repeated to him what Boss said about how he needed to stay away from his family."

Sean's hands hovered over Eugene's back doubtfully, then drew back. "It turned out okay though, didn't it? He's okay now."

"...A-and why-- why is Joan... have the 'good' spirits I've helped really been good either? Joan knew the whole time that she'd killed that man!" Eugene gritted his teeth. "And she still got to be light because she somehow convinced herself that it was okay!"

"...Eugene..." Sean hesitated, glancing up and down Eugene's body, checking to make sure he wasn't getting darker.

"I don't know! I don't know anything! I don't know what it all means! AUGH!" Eugene gripped his hair. "What have I done?"

Sean twiddled his thumbs. "Maybe let's not go on patrol tonight. Sounds like you have some stuff to sort out."

Eugene laughed wryly. "You think? Sean... how many spirits who were just hurting have I helped seal in Boss'... fan..." Eugene looked up, eyes wide.

"What?" Sean looked at him worriedly.

Boss' fan. Eugene had Boss' fan. Boss had given it to him before he left. It was in the lost and found cupboard at the office.

"Eugene, are you okay?" Sean tapped him on the shoulder.

Eugene jumped to his feet. "Sorry, I just remembered something I have to do. Bye, Sean. Thanks for the talk. You're the best."

"But I didn't do anything," Sean said, watching Eugene hurry to the door.

Eugene waved goodbye, tugged the door open, and flew quickly off towards the underworld office.

...

Chapter 2

[stargazer-sims]

Journal Entry #57 (part one)

Journal Entry #56 (part three) // STORY INDEX

Victor

So, uh... it's been a really long time.

I'm embarrassed to say, I actually had to check to see when either of us last recorded anything. Turns out, the last entry was Yuri's, and he posted it way back in the middle of March, the day I got my glasses.

It's the seventh of June today. Oops. Talk about major radio silence.

But, just because we haven't posted anything, that doesn't mean our lives haven't been eventful for the past three months. Yuri and I have had quite a lot going on, and maybe our lack of updates is a testament to that.

We were consumed by planning, packing, and preparing Yuri's immigration application for part of the time. Somehow I forgot how much work is involved in an international move despite having already done it before, a little over two years ago. This time is different because it's not just me. It's also Yuri and our dogs, and we've got the purchase of a house thrown into the mix as well, just to make things more complicated. Add that to my and Yuri's respective recovery, continuing drama with the extended family, and some much-needed relationship repair with a few of our friends, and you'll see we've got a very full life indeed.

I'm happy to report that I'm fully recovered from my accident. I was in physio for my arms up until the end of April, but the physical therapist said I could stop the day I told her I was able to lift my own body weight — all 86 kilograms of it — on the pull-up bar at work. I showed her the video Tomiko made of me doing it with just one arm, and the PT said it was obvious I could manage my own physical rehabilitation from that point.

As for the post-concussion symptoms, I'm no longer getting any headaches or random bouts of nausea, and I'm not nearly as light-sensitive now. The first day I was able to go up the mountain again, I had to wear ski goggles because the light reflecting off the snow made my eyes hurt. I really don't like wearing those, and I was glad when I was comfortable enough to take them off.

Yeah, my return to the slopes... that was an event. It probably deserves a whole entry of its own, but let’s just say Yuri, Sakura and Sakura's husband Takeshi made such a big production of it that it's not a day I'll soon forget.

Yuri said he had to be there, so I bundled him up in his warmest clothes, and then Takeshi and I wrapped him in a blanket and hauled him up the mountain on a rescue sled that Takeshi borrowed from Mountain Patrol. Sakura followed with our gear.

Takeshi situated Yuri in a good position to see everything, while Sakura and I got ready, and then it was time. We only did a few runs on one of the intermediate trails, but that was fine by me. I was admittedly nervous, and I didn't think I was ready to practice on the slalom course or the expert slope.

My first run was awful in my opinion, but I felt like I was getting my form and my courage back by the middle of the second one. When I pushed off for the third run, I felt the old, familiar rush of adrenaline coursing through my body and everything was as fluid and natural as if I'd never been away.

By the end of the third trip down the mountain, I was ready to stop for the day. It'd taken way more energy than I'd anticipated, and I was looking forward to going home for a hot bath and then maybe some cuddling and a nap with Yuri. He was exhausted too, mostly from waving his arms around and yelling himself hoarse, cheering me on.

Anyway, you guys all know that I could go on and on forever about snowboarding, so I'll stop here before this entry really does become all about that.

I should tell you about the relatively new thing in my life, which is my glasses. I wasn't sure I'd be okay with them at first, mostly because I didn't like having something constantly touching my face, but I got used to them pretty quickly and now I barely notice them at all. For the first couple of weeks, I wore them throughout the entire day, at the suggestion of the optometrist, and only took them off if I was driving or snowboarding. Now I just put them on if I'm doing something where I need to see clearly close up, like playing games, using the computer or reading.

I'm thrilled that Dr. Ishida was totally right when she said my ability to read was more about vision than intellect. Since getting my glasses, I'm going through books like crazy. I didn't realize how entertaining reading could be, but I guess that's because it's difficult to have a good time doing something when you can only do it for five minutes before you start to feel like your eyeballs might fall out from the strain. Now, I can read for hours at a time if I want to, and it's awesome. Did you know there's a genre of action novels? Kind of like action movies, but you read the story yourself and create the movie part of it in your imagination. It's great.

Yuri likes my newfound ability to read just as much as I do, I think. There's also a genre of historical novels which he happily introduced me to, and then he convinced me that I should read to him at bedtime. So, that became our thing up until I left. We'd curl up in bed together and either I'd read some of his current book to him, or he'd read some of mine to me.

It's been hard for us to read to each other lately, though, since I left Japan on the fifteenth of May. Mom and Julian let me stay with them for a few days until the transaction for our house closed on the eighteenth, and then I moved into our forever home. Except, it didn't feel like our forever home without Yuri there. If I thought leaving Yuri behind in Japan was painful, settling into that spacious house all alone might've been one of the most heartbreaking experiences I've had in recent memory.

Okay, I'm not technically alone. Sachiko the ghost is here, but sharing the place with her hasn't turned out to be as fun as I imagined.

For the first three or four days, I didn't see her at all, and when I finally did find her, she scared the crap out of me by making the tea machine levitate. Apparently, she was mad that I'd used her favourite mug for my tea.

Robert and Kim had left a few dishes in the house, including two mugs, and I'd used one of them because it was conveniently there. How was I supposed to know which one was Sachiko's? Up to that point, I didn't even know ghosts could drink tea, much less that they'd have a mug preference.

I think Sachiko and I are going to need time to get to know each other. She doesn’t seem to trust me, and after the tea machine incident, I’m kinda wary of her too.

The first night I spent in the house, I barely slept at all. Yuri and I chatted on FaceTime until his mother told him to get off his iPad and come have lunch, and then I was on my own. Noon for him was midnight for me, and there were a lot of hours between then and morning when I'd be able to talk to him again.

That was probably super confusing, wasn't it? I guess I should back up a bit and properly explain what's going on.

Just as Yuri and I both feared, he couldn't leave in the middle of his nutrition rehabilitation therapy. We found out that even with Dr. Kasongo's string-pulling to get him onto Dr. Kim's patient caseload, there still might be a months-long waiting time for him to see the doctor and the other professionals for the treatment he needs. He's already on the list, but since there's no way for him to transition seamlessly from one care provider to another, Dr. Kasongo suggested that it'd be better for him to finish his therapy and get his eating routine stabilized before he moves to another country. We agreed with her recommendation because he's been making such great progress, and we didn't want to derail it with a long interruption of his care.

It was a tough choice, but we ultimately decided that I’d travel home by myself to deal with the house closing, and so I could walk my mom down the aisle at her wedding. After the wedding, I'm planning to spend a week in Brindleton Bay with Grandpa Michael, and then I’ll return to Mt. Komorebi to be with Yuri until he's ready to travel. It isn't ideal and neither of us particularly likes it, but as they say, needs must.

The other half of the plan was for Yuri and the dogs to move in with his parents while I'm away. Neither his parents nor I felt comfortable with the idea of him staying alone, and since Mrs. Okamoto is on a leave of absence from work so she can devote her attention to taking care of baby Kinai, that means Yuri will never be without someone nearby if he needs anything. He complained about having to live with his parents temporarily, but I think he's secretly relieved to be close to his mother and to let her help look after him.

It's fascinating to me, how Yuri and I slipped so easily into our old habits that we had at the beginning of our relationship. We'd originally met online in November, not long after Yuri turned twenty and just before I turned twenty-one. His birthday is the twentieth of September and mine is the second of December, in case you may not recall. By February of the following year, we knew for sure that we were in love and wanted to be together forever, and I literally spent the next three years hoarding my money and learning Japanese so I could eventually travel there to be with him. Anyway, During that time, we talked on the phone or on FaceTime least twice every single day, and there were usually lots of texts and pictures and the occasional email or video exchanged in between.

Needless to say, scheduling our calls was important because of that pesky twelve-hour time difference between where I lived and where he lived. We used to talk at seven in the morning and seven at night. We took turns contacting each other, and to avoid confusion, each of us would call when it was morning in our time zone.

Morning calls were harder for me because I was going to college when we first met and then working once I'd graduated, and I could never talk too long as I was getting ready to go out for the day. Yuri's morning calls were better since he worked from home and could still get things done while chatting with me. Plus, it was evening for me then, so I had plenty of time.

Time isn't as much of an issue for us now, since neither of us are working. I resigned from my position at the fitness center in Kiyomatsu, and of course you already know Yuri is on medical leave until at least September. We still begin our video calls at seven o'clock, though. It's nice to have that consistency.

Something we've started doing in this new version of our long-distance relationship is eating together. I’ll usually have an evening snack while he has his breakfast, and sometimes he nibbles on a little something while watching me have mine.

Anyone viewing this might get the impression that we’ve become totally obsessed with food and eating over the last few months. That might be kinda true. but you gotta realize that for Yuri’s therapy to be effective, we always have to be mindful and use a lot of positive reinforcement around eating. So yeah, maybe we do talk about it a lot and maybe I do make a big deal of it even if he eats one small bite of solid food, but one bite without fear or stress is way better than being too anxious to eat at all, and I’d prefer to keep the forward momentum going.

When I first got here, Yuri was still having almost exclusively formula feeds at breakfast time. Then, one day last week when he called me, he appeared on screen with some sort of juice at the corner of his mouth, and when I asked him if he'd been eating, he proudly showed me the tiny bowl of pitted cherries he was snacking on.

"I like these," he said. "I ate seven of them so far."

A quick count revealed three left in the bowl, which he finished during our conversation. Ten cherries may not seem like a lot, but for Yuri, it's huge.

"Have you eaten anything else for breakfast?" I asked.

"Rice crackers with apricot jam, and Yuki let me try her cereal," he said, and then hastened to add. "I used my own spoon."

"You're doing great," I praised him. "Do you even know how proud I am of you right now?"

"Thank you."

"Are you having your formula too?" I asked.

He slid his chair back and lifted up the hem of his shirt so I could see the tube snaking out from under it. "I need the protein. But, guess what?"

"What?"

"I didn't have formula at lunch or dinner yesterday. I ate everything on my own. Oh, and I tried sparkling water."

"Did you like it?"

He wrinkled his nose cutely. "No."

"Better stick with regular water, then."

He nodded. "Mama's making salmon onigiri today. I'm going to try to eat a whole one."

"You like those," I recalled. "You've eaten a whole one before, so I know you can do it."

"Hopefully I've got room for it after my milkshake," he said.

I'll confess I was rendered momentarily speechless by that. I stared hard at the screen, wondering if I'd heard him correctly. "Your... milkshake?" I stammered after a second or two. "As in, actual milk and stuff? But, aren't you—

"Lactose intolerant?" Yuri said. "I'm not, actually."

"What?" I blurted.

"Trust me, I was shocked too."

"But, how...?"

"Remember, Dr. Kasongo scheduled me for all those food tolerance tests? You know, to see if I'm allergic to anything, or to see if I have low tolerance for gluten or sugar or... whatever?"

"Yeah," I said. "Mostly, I remember being stressed out because she scheduled it for after I left, and I couldn't go with you."

"I would've liked for you to be with me, but it was okay," he said. "Papa came with me, and it wasn't as scary as I imagined. We got the results yesterday."

"And you're really not lactose intolerant?"

"I'm really not. My nutritionist thinks it may have been a psychological intolerance more than a physical one."

"Meaning what, exactly? Like, dairy products made you feel sick because you convinced yourself they would?"

"Something like that," he said. "Mama says she thinks it might've been partially her fault. She says she tried to get me to drink milk and eat cheese when I was little, but it always gave me an upset stomach, so she eventually stopped trying. I guess we all just assumed I was lactose intolerant after that. Then, any time I had anything with milk in it, it was more my anxiety that was making me feel sick than my body's actual response to it."

"Huh," I said. "So... milkshakes?"

"Strawberry milkshakes. They're delicious and they're packed with calories." He beamed, clearly pleased with himself. "After my appointment yesterday afternoon, we all went out for American food.”

“That’s where you had the milkshake, I guess?”

“Mm-hmm. Mama and I shared a salad, but I tried one of Yuki’s French fries. Papa and Yuki both got milkshakes with their meal, and Yuki talked me into tasting that as well since we found out it wouldn't hurt me."

"And you were okay?"

"I was a little nervous afterwards and I thought I might be sick, but I kept telling myself not to panic. When I settled down, my stomach settled down too."

That was major progress. The old Yuri likely would’ve panicked, and he would’ve been throwing up and miserable for the rest of the day. Of course, he still might have had pain and an upset stomach regardless of what he ate or drank, but it made me wonder what percentage of his problems in the past were due to real digestive issues related to his illness and what percentage were caused by his severe anxiety around food.

He keeps telling me that he doesn’t like his psychologist and that he doesn’t think their sessions are doing any good, but I’m convinced somebody in that equation must be doing something right. Three months ago, Yuri wouldn’t have gotten within ten meters of American food, much less tried fries or a milkshake. Just the smell of deep-fried food would’ve been enough to make him nauseous back then.

Honestly, I don’t think he even realizes how far he’s come since he first started his nutrition rehab back in March.

"That's awesome," I said. "You’re doing amazing. And you’re having another go at milkshakes today?”

He nodded. "Papa bought strawberry ice cream. Did you know he knows how to make milkshakes at home?"

"I didn't know he knew how, but it's pretty easy anyway. Not much different than making a smoothie."

"Oh. So does that mean I could have extra strawberries in my strawberry milkshake? Or some other fruit?"

I laughed. "If you wanted to."

"When Papa comes home for lunch, I have to tell him." He looked excited. "This could be an adventure."

"Let me know how it goes."

He grinned at me. "I will."

I have no words to describe how happy it made me to see Yuri like that, and for the first time in a while, I let myself believe we were approaching something like a normal existence.

If he keeps going this way, he might be off his feeding tube entirely by the end of the summer. Then, we'll be able to come back here together and settle into the life we're both dreaming of.

I'm not naïve enough to think it'll be all smooth sailing after this, but I'm optimistic enough to believe we’re finally going to make it through the worst of the proverbial storm.

[cutepresea]

Isn't it odd Symphogear didn't get any normal length OAV or movie made, or even on the merch side more nendo or nendo petit made considering how popular it was in Japan? I know the fear was real with prods and manus during the first two seasons because they thought it was a fail project and didn't want to invest but after five seasons and five concerts? I don't know I feel like I'm missing data on why we were given the short stick compared to other popular animes...

Ah, I never really felt like that when it comes to the series (except for figures, but I get to that later in the post. I went on a bit of a tangent and it ended up longer than intended. Oops)

Five whole seasons

Four series of shorts

Enough character songs to have a box of 9 CDs released (doesn't include XDU songs)

Concerts that get released on blu-ray since G's (this one just feels like a bigger deal to me because season 1's in 2012 never got recorded or released)

A mobile game that's been running for 6 years and gets its own albums separate from the aforementioned box (there was another mobile game a decade ago that died pretty fast but nobody remembers that one, shhh...)

And a monthly spinoff manga that has enough content for four volumes so far

...All feels like a miracle to me, especially for an anime not based on an existing manga, game, or light novel

Seriously, I love this series but I have no idea how G was greenlit

I'm still waiting to see what the new project is because there's still a possibility that it could be a movie or something. I just don't expect it anytime soon, whether it be a movie or an OVA, because Kaneko (co-creator and scenario writer for the series) is busy both designing and writing a RPG which he stated was something he wanted to do while not working on Symphogear since he was too busy to work on games while he was doing that (link is Japanese, but it's the interview where he said that)

Which, again, is probably why the new project is dated 20XX

Now if I were to talk about stuff I personally would want?

If it's a movie I'd like it to be completely new content but if they make some lengthier OVAs, I've been asking for an adaptation of 3.5 from XDU for a while since the Alexandria Incident gets mentioned in AXZ.

XDU's service isn't going to last forever and I'd hate to lose a canon side story like that when it does eventually end.

They could also do 4.5 but it isn't as high a priority for me because it serves more as an introduction to Noble Red than anything and outside of the short part between Fine and Enki, it felt weird coming out after XV ended

On a bit of a side note, I've said it before, but I wouldn't be too surprised if any new anime content is by Studio KAI instead of Satelight. A LOT of Symphogear's staff moved over there after XV ended which is why XDU's second OP was done by them.

Now merchandise, oh boy, yeah that subject has stung a bit over the years. The fact the only Nendos are from S1 really is sad

They want their friends to join them

Heck, Chris didn't even get a Figma back then like Hibiki and Tsubasa did

I can't believe it took as long as it did for Kirika, Shirabe, and Maria to get figures. Especially Maria, who didn't have one released until 2022.

And it is an actual crime that Miku still doesn't have one despite being around since season 1. That is Hibiki's Wife Sunshine y'all are ignoring. (Season 1 Miku with green hair when? 🤣)

Hobby Stock's set of scale figures they've been releasing and Good Smile's ACT MODEs are a step in the right direction though. There's also been more plushes in recent years which I personally really love.

One of my wishes is someone going back to G and making figures for that so we can get Black Gungnir Maria or Shenshoujing Gear Miku

The parallel world versions of everyone from XDU would be fun too but I'm not pushing my luck there. The other Hibiki technically already has one but it used an existing Hibiki figure as a base

And yes, I am begging for a game that isn't gacha. I'm a lover of action games and RPGs so I would love something along those lines. I'm not horribly picky about the specific type

[torchickentacos]

Tagged by @mighwnt!!!! I did a version of this a couple days ago but I'm always glad to talk more lol (and talk, I do). Tysm for the tag!!! ASLO PREV lmk how you like pokespe, I've been meaning to read more of it since, uh, 2012....ish.................. oops....................... ANYWAYS lol

Last song I listened to: We Looked Like Giants by Death Cab for Cutie. This is one of those songs that I listen to and just zone out for the full 5 minutes. This song does something to my brain and I like it very much. One of my favorite songs, easily, not something I hand out particularly lightly.

Currently reading: WELL, at my hell doctor appointment earlier, my sister brought an entire warrior cats book that she started and promptly finished BECAUSE WE WERE THERE FOR SEVEN AND A HALF HOURS, no I will not let go of this, I deserve to bitch about it, and I got bored and started reading it, so technically I'm currently reading Into the Wild lol. I've been on a warrior cats nostalgia kick lately anyways though so that works out, even if the books are as frustrating as they are anything else.

Currently watching: Psych. Forever my comfort show. In another tab I have Game, Set, Muuurder open and about 5 minutes in lol

Currently obsessed with: Warrior cats is, either regrettably or fun and nostalgically, taking up brain space yet again like a roommate I can't quite evict. We aren't at special interest levels again yet though. I AM getting some writing stuff done again though, slowly but surely, so that's fun and also creeping back into hyperfocusy territory before the fall semester takes all my time!

TAGGING: Anyone who wants to join! Is it a cop-out answer? yes BUT my mutuals all tend to be intertangled webs of people, so I'm never sure who's tagged who anyways, so this is an open tag! If you want to do this from this post then just say I tagged you because I did lol.

[wayward-starway]

Haven’t used this blog in forever oops- To make up for that here’s a little look at one the StarWay’s biggest antagonists- Temno!!

Temno seen as something equivalent to Christianity’s devil within StarWaiian mythology. It’s said that thousands of years ago Sveltyy & Temno peacefully ruled over the StarWay together until Temno grew bitter, jealous, & sought to take over the StarWay all for himself. With an army of darkness by his side, Temno wreaked havoc on the StarWay until Sveltyy banished him & “the darkness” to the Wasteland, a barely habitable moon that orbits the StarWay. That’s how the tale goes, but is it actually true? Throughout the StarWay the protagonists learn of Sveltyy’s corrupt & tyrannical rule & it’s revealed that Temno never instigated a war for sole control of the StarWay- but Sveltyy did. Sveltyy tried to overthrow Temno & when Temno & his citizens were unable to successfully fight back they were banished & their image was forever tainted. Temno was painted as a villain, his subjects massacred by Sveltyy as “forces of darkness”, & Sveltyy as a hero & all kind god.

Time goes on, & after numerous failed attempts to escape the Wasteland Temno & his subjects are left to rot on for thousands of years. While most of his subjects die, Temno, being a god, never does. Instead he is left immobile & starving in scorching heat for thousands of years, watching his subjects die over & over while he is helpless to do anything. He grows vengeful & wants nothing more than to see Sveltyy suffer. Temno nearly kills himself in a last ditch effort to finally make it off the Wasteland (& actually does die for a brief period of time), & is finally successful with gaining a small amount of control back on the StarWay. The threat of Temno regaining large amounts of control of the StarWay prompts Sveltyy to create the Prophecy to stop him- the Prophecy that the main story follows. Although he is a victim, Temno’s vengeful attitude leads him to becoming exactly like Sveltyy. He manipulates & traumatizes vulnerable StarWaiians into helping him regain power, massacres the opposing god’s subjects by the thousands, etc. What I enjoy most about his character is that he’s a sympathetic villain who never gets redeemed, to the end he lets his hate consume him & loses track of the good intentions he once had. His actions of genocide make him too far gone to be redeemed, creating a dilemma where neither god is the rightful ruler of the StarWay, but which is the lesser of two evils.

Temno very recently got a redesign; his old design looked like this:

While I liked his older design, it didn’t stand out as “godly” at all. He looked nearly indistinguishable from your average StarWaiian despite being a god. So I gave him features not seen in the StarWaiian species, such as an extra pair of eyes, bat like wings that double as a second pair of arms, & a big arm tail used for gripping things! Oh, he’s also gigantic too

Early redesign concepts ^

Royal mask concept + his design before being banished ^

Extra limb concept work ^

There’s a bit more to his character regarding how gods claim mortal souls, how the types of souls they own enhances their powers, their mortality, soul lore in general, etc. But I’ll save that for another post since it’s decently complicated lol. For now all you need to know is that he was once a kind & benevolent ruler who was unfairly screwed over, & after thousands of years of suffering became fixated on revenge & became the very thing he hated the most~

Reshares appreciated original content never does as well as fandom content (hence why I like never use this blog) so I’d appreciate the extra reach :]

[nnugatoryextravagance]

for the worldbuilding ask!! don't think i know a lot of you worlds, so choose a random one for 🌸 and 🔮!!

YEEAAH LES GO so sorry I got delayed answering this the sleepy got me also iam gonna go with just Phonia since I've had it on the mind most lately

[Original ask post 💥💥💥]

🌸 - Phonia being this universe's closest "Earth equivalent" also used to have a very similar population to Earth, maybe even a little more in fact. For a single reason I'm gonna be able to discuss immediately after this though the planet had a very sudden record drop from a little over 8 billion residents total, to barely 750,000. Oopsie daisy

🔮 - Preliminary context for this part, thousands of years ago prior to when the majority of my stories take place, Phonia was best well known as a planet full to the brim with all kinds of expensive minerals that would be dug up and sold everywheres else to whoever was buying. Reason this ended up Very Abruptly Stopping though was because a solid 10,000 years ago-ish it had gotten to the point where so much of the planet hardly had anything solid left inside of it from all the mining that a good 75% or so of the surface landmasses and oceans finally caved in during what came to be known as "The Great Collapse", also the worst disaster the planet had ever seen and for, obvious reasons (you really dont get much worse than several countries suddenly becoming one with the abyss and the world population suffering such a significant drop that it took 2 different calculator websites to get a rough percentage of the loss because the numbers are so big its stupid, oh yeah and it permanently changed the planets climate and cultures forever, not even just because of how much of the latter was lost and no longer exists now)

All types of mining gear or digging now are strictly prohibited under any circumstances and the only exceptions are items for personal use like shovels or wild animals who burrow large holes as a natural behavior (since I mean, what are you gonna do? arrest a bird?), there is also a special recovery unit that was made by the government dedicated to finding anything salvageable in the rubble as well as freeing any souls still stuck down there (I never mentioned souls cant pass through solid materials 99% of the time now did i, oops) and it still operates in the present era too and has steadily grown every year since the incident

[jprandamonium]

I Shall Not Kill Pokemon

Here is a story I will just put here versus making a video. Maybe I should make posts before videos to refine it but I doubt that would be of use. Turning me into a rboboto. Oops, my programming split. Did I say programming? I meant brain. I am a human. Beepbobeep.

So, I played Pokemon Blue and that was the first one I beat the Elite Four. I sadly deleted them. My first kill. I wish they could have been saved BUT ... turns out.. they can't be saved like that. Future talk... Johto (Gold/Silver/Crystal) was not safe for shelter. The games use too much battery which kills them.... within 9 years. (Yep...)

I killed my team. I still can't let them go. I made sure I remember them. Waterdude the Blastoise. Flyer the Pidgeot, Haunter, Hitmonchan, Static the Raichu, Shocker the Pikachu and Snorlax. There was a few others but those 6 worked so hard to get through the Elite Four and .... Damnit Gary!!! I restarted the game to play the Pokemon Master challenge (Water). I made it to Articuno. The rules weren't refine back then. The goal was to get the Legendary pokemon of the type the trainer claimed to master. That was also deleted. I kinda had no remorse on those deaths. Pokemon Red... I wasn't truly dedicated on beating the game. (Later... in 8 years, I do and refuse to restart the game, sadly... there is no way to get them to go to a new region and explore their challenges)

For Johto.... I never deleted ever. I became sadden to the idea of replaying without having a safe place for them to go without killing them all. They worked so hard. TURN OF EVENTS... remember what said about the batteries? Within 3 years... gone. I remember that team. Yes... Gold's team lives in Heart Gold. However... I forgot the team of Crystal.... just a level 74 Feraligatr....

Gold's team was Typlosion, Quagsire, Ampharos, Noctowl, Bellsprout, Haunter (yep, love that pokemon), and Ho-oh. There were lots of Pokemon since it was a catch'em all affair. All whipped out. Killed. I blame the DAMN Gameshark but .... it wasn't its fault. I got lots of Celebis. Har-har.

The rest of the story is a better ending. Hoenn... Sapphire became the warehouse of all Pokemon from restarts of Leaf Green. I think. But later... Pokemon Diamond became the next safe haven. Whew. Then Pokemon White. Okay. This is good. And then... Pokemon Bank blocks the continued move. From the years... I started to make it a smaller catching in each replay (unless the Master Challenges). So, I just have a few Pokemon. The team. The 3 extras and most legendaries.

But Pokemon Bank! $5 a month. But I just need it for a few hours. Meaning... I would waste money for transferring... But I did some of White's and moved them into the newer games. Finding them homes and adding to the Pokedexes on my main games of the regions. But there is a new problem. I never mentioned how I transferred in the older games... all the games (up to 3DS and somewhat DS). I captured lots of Pokemon to trade for the cherished team. Pidgey, Rattata, Hoothoot, etc. Those poor digisouls got sacrificed for the others. Note: Capturing and trading rescue takes too much TIME! Pokemon X became the new one that needs to be cleared. I still haven't played Kalos region more than twice. (TERRIBLE!!!) The others in the 3DS haven't been restarted EVER. Good news... Unova and Alola are not worth many times around....

In the end, there are no Pokemon erased anymore. But Pokemon Bank did hold them back. Until some months ago. However... now Pokemon Home is asking money to transfer the wandering Pokemon to the newer regions... Thanks...

With the ending of Pokemon Bank... the new teams that could happen might all become stuck forever in the past. Not too bad but... it is when the ones who lost their trainer and had no where to go... they will return to a "Pokemon White" situation. Meaning... they would be stuck in a safe haven, never to go to a permanent home.

I did promise a happy ending. The true happy ending is that none at dying by my hand. They will die thanks to the battery ending the trainer and its life. I will try to get a saver but Gold and Crystal are too late. But the GBA and Red can be saved if I do it in time.