#i don’t plan on showing my face or real voice anytime soon

[an-indecisive-mess]

I give y’all my literal reaction to the love of my life going demon mode.

This is the closest thing y’all are ever gonna get for a face reveal/voice reveal. Please enjoy me squealing like a little girl when I see how HOT my husband is.

[seriesxwriting]

I was rewatching season 4 of tvd and I thought of a fic idea 🤭 I’m thinking when Damon is teaching Jeremy to be a hunter at the cabin and Klaus shows up, Jeremy and Elena’s sister (the reader) is also there for like moral support or something 🤷‍♀️ But later that night after everyone’s asleep she decides to go skinny dipping in the lake and Klaus catches her…

Thank you so much for your request, I’m so sorry it took so long for me to write I’ve been immensely busy. I hope it was worth the wait <33

Just one night <3

W klaus Mikaelson

Warnings- swearing, kissing, skinny dipping?

Summary- request <3

Series- The vampire diaries (tvd)

“Y/n, get back in the house” Elena shook her head as I stepped over the doorframe. I scrunched my face up with confusion and looked around for a split second. “Get back in the house” she hissed giving me no time, pushing me by my shoulder and backing me into the house with her body. We ended up in the living room before I hurriedly pushed her hand off me.

“What the hell are you doing!” I protested blinking quickly at her. She nodded to the kitchen hinting for me to follow her there. When we landed she lifted the tap up so it was running. Diverting any vampires hearing. “Klaus is here” she whispered in a low tone. My eyes widened. A million thoughts raced through my head. “What? Surely not- whys he here?” “I don’t know” she tutted getting out her phone.

I saw her swipe onto Damon’s name and start typing too fast for me to read. “Is Damon sorting it out?” I questioned, she let out a deep sigh. “I don’t know” she replied clearly stressed out about the situation but still managing to piss me off. “They were just kinda staring at each other- then Jeremy told me to find you” she added once she saw I was getting annoyed at the little Information I was receiving.

“He has some unhealthy pull towards you- I’ve noticed it- so has Damon” she eyeballed me “of course anything Damon thinks you think” I rolled my eyes taking no notice of what she was saying. Klaus had never hurt me physically, anytime we came to a stand off he’d avoid me or try and sweet talk me into leaving. But it wasn’t anything ‘unhealthy’. “Oh don’t start y/n” she scoffed rolling her eyes at me again. “We are just looking out for you”.

“You always say that” I muttered avoiding her eye contact. “Because I’m trying to stress it” she threw her hands out but kept her voice down nonetheless. At this point I was done with the conversation and slammed my hand on the tap before walking towards the door. “Y/n!” She cried running after me. As soon as I got to the door klaus appeared in front of me having vampires ran to the door. “Hello love, thought you’d be in here” he smiled with that famous look of his.

I’d be lying if I said I didn’t melt on the spot. “What are you doing here?” I narrowed my eyes at me but used a questioning tone. “Came to see how Jeremy was getting on with his training- clearly not very well” klaus laughed and looked over his left shoulder. My brother was lying in a pile of logs and Damon was helping to pull them off him. Elena gasped at the sight and I could see fear in her brown eyes. “Klaus you have to leave”.

“Oh come on, it’s just a little bit of practice on a real vampire, Damon’s hardly made it over a century- and you- are a poor excuse for a vampire” he chuckled to Elena before making eye contact with me. “You’d make a good vampire” “you need to go- you’re not making the atmosphere very nice” I folded my arms leaning against the wall. “Well I was hoping you’d invite me in for tea but I can clearly see that isn’t your plan”.

“You knew I wouldn’t!” Elena protested shaking her head frowning at him. “Yes that’s why I wasn’t talking to you sweetheart” he condescendingly answered with a flick of a side eye in her direction. “What because I’m human? You thought you’d prey on the weakest link?” I replied jerking my head back. “If you think you’re the weakest link in this delusional team then you yourself are delusional y/n” he raised an eyebrow at me becoming all serious. I swallowed nervously and felt as the butterflies fluttered about.

“Klaus!” Jeremy yelled at the top of his lungs, he was red in the face but didn’t look at all injured. His hand was clasping a wooden stake. “I’ve made him angry” klaus winked at me and then jokingly put his hands up fakely surrendering. “Okay okay- I’ll leave, see you later my love” he grinned at me before vamp running off into the woods away from the group. Damon vamp ran to the door and stood there as Elena met him half way. “Are you okay?” He asked under his breath looking into her eyes. I rolled mine and walked off into the house.

That had been the most interesting part of this trip, apart from Jeremy the odd few times sitting Damon on his ass. I loved to watch that man lose sometimes. I wondered off to my bedroom and shut myself in most of the night thinking about what happened. What klaus had said. I even thought over and over again about how he said I’d be a ‘good vampire’. I also thought of elena’s words, his ‘pull’ towards me.

It kept me up most of the night. I was a deep over thinker, always had been and I’m sure I always will be. It ate me up sometimes, now was one of them times. When eventually it got to two am I decided it was time to forget about the situation. So I dragged myself out of bed and snuck out of the cabin to go down to the water. This was one of my happy places. It was just beautiful especially at night. I sat down on the grass in my gym shorts and vest top watching the ripples. I had crocs on too but no jacket. It wasn’t cold, there was no wind either.

I decided I wanted to get into the water and couldn’t be asked to walk back and get my swimsuit. No one was around, it’s not like anyone could see me, so I stripped and ran into the water laughing to myself. I swam on my back, did some hair flicks and summersaults underwater. Before just floating on the water looking at the stars.

“I’ve been around for a thousand years but this is by far my favourite sight”. I whipped around seeing klaus standing on land just watching me swim in front of him. “Klaus!” I gasped literally jumping. “You can’t creep up on people in the pitch black” I tutted with an eye roll. “You’re such a feisty one- no one ever talks to me like that not without consequences” he chuckled still watching me though I was just standing in the water at this point covering myself “Consequences? What like how you killed my aunt?” I jerked my head back, I wasn’t usually this narky with him but that comment pissed me off.

He put his hands up and smiled “I didn’t mean to offend love” “you didn’t offend me- you pissed me off klaus”. He looked at my blank face and my arms crossed my chest. “I’m not sorry I killed you aunt- thats selfish, but my power now is mind blowing and I’d never give it up- but I’m sorry it was your aunt and I’m sorry your wrapped up in this because I don’t want to hurt you” he told me truthfully. Klaus took a seat where my clothes were he eyed them before smirking at me.

“I believe that” I nodded swiming slightly closer ignoring his flirtatious smirk. “I don’t know why- you haven’t given me a reason to trust you- all you do is fight with Elenas boys”. “Mm well I think I have- I’ve never directly hurt you, love” “it doesn’t matter klaus- you’ve caused me pain- a lot of it- but for some reason see a difference side of you sometimes- times like now, if we weren’t in the middle of a war and it would complicate anything, you might have been the guy I came up to in the bar” I told him with a smile coming to the side of the land now, he’d shuffled to get closer to me.

“Well if you ask me I’d tell you the war didn’t matter- and if you came over to me at that bar you’d never leave my side y/n, we’d rule the world together” klaus told me with no sign of a joke. His face was completely neutral. “I…” klaus looked at me stuttering, I didn’t know what to say back. “No one would ever hurt you again- no one would leave you out, you’d be under my protection we’d be untouchable together” he whispered down to me. “You said you see a different side of me- well I see a different side to you y/n, I’ve tried to ignore it but it’s so prominent”.

“I can’t be with you klaus” I shook my head, he looked away from me for a second sighing. I pulled his face back towards me and whispered “but that doesn’t mean I can’t see what it would be like to be with you for a night” I smiled softly. He returned it. Before smashing his lips on me. I might have just made the biggest mistake of my life inviting this man into the water with me. Or it could be the best night of my life. But right now I didn’t care about the consequences.

I had him all to myself.

Klaus mikealson masterlist

Tvd masterlist

All series masterlist

Masterlist of masterlists

[fortanreviews]

Big Bad Fortrant: Discord

Hello, I’d like you to welcome to my very first blogpost of my new blog, where I talk about things and share my thoughts regardless of whether anybody gives a fuck or not.

There will be many types of blogposts each with their own tag. And naturally, since Thursday is my least favourite day of the week; Thursdays will be saved for rants. The name of this tag came from an old callout post somebody did for me over 10 years ago.

I originally wanted to go on a rant about my least favourite website in the whole world, Twitter, but I believe I am still struggling to properly put my grievances into sentences without coming across as a rambling lunatic. So, I’ll save it for another time. Instead I will be ranting about my second least favourite website in the whole world, Discord. Now Discord is different from Twitter because I have it on all the time, yet I still despise many aspects of the site and it’s culture.

Discord has more or less become the modern MSN, however the difference between that and Discord is, MSN didn’t have any servers, it had group chats yes, but these group chats were kept to one chat only, there were no multiple channels or threads or anything like that. When MSN fell, Skype became the next popular chatting tool, and when that fell, Discord stepped in to fill in the gaps.

The multiple channels idea was great and it prevented chats from being too crowded. Back in the dark Skype days, a large group chat only had one place to talk in and many topics ended up getting buried by eachother. With Discord, you could create multiple channels.

Unfortunately, over time, this has led to some questionable decisions. Many people have started to use Discord as a substitute for forums. This includes archiving material in said servers, the problem with discords are, you have to JOIN them in order to see them, they’re not public, they’re all very much private. This has led to many people insert download links in their discords for projects such as fangames, game mods and even archived works. Use Internet Archive for that you nimrods! 

And the privacy of Discord has led to another problem, the creation and distribution of echochambers. In my other blog, goddamnwebcomics, there are now two cases of webcomic creators locking themselves in a Discord chat with their rabid fans where nobody is allowed to criticise them. Anyone who raises their voice in any form will be either banned or put in a struggle session. And this is just two examples off the top of my head, there are so many communities that are used for echochambers and even inappropriate behaviour. Yes, Discord’s private nature allows sexual predators to find new victims easier than ever. A lot of people don’t use the old internet etiquette of never showing your face, address or real name. It shouldn’t be done in public but it ESPECIALLY shouldn’t be done in private.

Discord has recently gained more open critique lately from their users, but my main problem is really with the culture of it. The name change update is stupid, but I don’t see a reason to leave the site over it. However, I can eventually see another live chat program replace it as the Discord developers make more and more asinine decisions that make the site more irritating to use. At least users have an option to leave unlike the poor YouTube community. Until then, many people, me included, will continue to use the site despite hating it. Don’t worry, I have no plans of buying Nitro anytime soon.

Let me end this rant on a personal story, because I want all of my rants to come from a certain place of experience. I feel like I’ve seen the enormous flaws Discord had way back when people still loved the site. For that we must go back 6 years. For privacy reasons, every name in this story has been changed. It has also been embellished quite a bit.

I joined Creatividia Discord server after my friend had invited me there, Creatividia was an art group that loved to work on art but also criticise art. The community was nice but they were too obsessed with perfectionism. The leader of this group was a man named Ruth Grondan. Ruth had demoted the co-founder of Creatividia years ago for not being critical enough. When I first met Ruth, I got along with him. I was able to rise through the ranks of the server, but overtime I started doing stupid shit because it was 2017. Other creatividia members weren’t happy with my behaviour, but their problem was, outside of extreme cases they NEVER told me anything. Creatividia was very secretive because a lot of things that happened inside were “confidential information”. Creatividia you see was part of a much larger group, and what happened in Creatividia shouldn’t be spread to the larger group because they often spoke and critiqued people behind their backs.

Eventually, my friend, Ron Mullet, joined the Creatividia Server. He was made fun of a lot behind his back which I didn’t approve of. One day I openly got confrontational with them for constantly attacking Ron, so I was kicked. Ruth told me that he still respected me and my art. My art here was a video editing project that I have been working on for 10 years now. I appreciated that.

However, with Creatividia gone, I never really got proper feedback that I wanted ever again. If I wanted to know how they really felt about me, I tried to ask Ron Mullet who was still in the group but he told me what happens there is confidential information. Later that year, I learned that a friend of mine, Geyeeh, had been invited to the group. I asked Geyeeh about his invitation and he told me “I’m not sure how I would tell it to you”. I thought this could be my chance to get back to Creatividia server because I knew Geyeeh would convince them to invite me back. So I waited and got really impatient so I kept bombarding Ron with questions. I was getting really anxious because I really wanted the feedback. Eventually I got a message from Ruth that I wouldn’t be invited to the group anymore. I was upset and asked Geyeeh and Ron what the hell was going on. For the first time I saw Geyeeh, who was previously optimistic and passionate, very upset with my shit. Yes, I had acted wrong, but I do feel that in a lot of ways, I was justified to be impatient because I had no idea what was happening in Creatividia. It was a fucking silly art group, not fucking Pentagon. I feel that people there were not honest to me and they wanted to keep me out. I do regret how I behaved and I feel I learned an important lesson about compassion and respect.

My friendship with Geyeeh never really recovered after that, we’re still good friends but not to the level we used to be. Overtime people made “smaller” Creatividia servers but in those groups the existence of the main Creatividia server or “Head Group” was a secret. I remember once asking Ron if one person I felt bad for was in head group and he told me “They aren’t, and never ask me anything about that group again”. Both Ron and Geyeeh are very defensive of Creatividia, even if Ron was a victim of their bullying in the past. Geyeeh’s more defensive though, I believe it’s because Geyeeh really has no other community to be part of. They’re his only friends.

The only time I got to see a post from the Head Group afterwards was when someone shared a post talking about me with the name cropped out. However from the way it was written I could tell from the get-go it was written by Ruth. Ruth’s opinion on me and my work had changed in just a few months, calling my work “odd and nonsensical” and he said I would never be allowed in the Head Group again.

I feel Creatividia situation perfectly captures the problem I have with Discord, if Creatividia had been made few years earlier and the group had a forum instead of a discord server, the privacy problem wouldn’t really exist and we would have a much more healthy community. I can’t directly call out Creatividia without burning bridges so the only way I can call them out is by using subtle messages in my art, the fake names I used in this story did come from a group of OC’s I had created that were a parody of the said group. I might deepdive into these OC’s in the coming blogposts, but anyways Discord is awful because it’s used as a substitute for forums, it’s a haven for echochambers and online creeps, and it makes even the silliest community treat themselves like they’re Area 51. That’ll be all.

[perfectlysunny02]

Chapter Three

Word count: 1,035

Read it here or on AO3

AN: I just wanted to thank @0shewrites0 and @whatisreggieshortfor for always letting me come to you for advice, for allowing me to bounce ideas off of you, and for all your help. I appreciate you more than anything❤️

“Suresh, get up,” A voice filtered through his consciousness as he came to with a groan. “Suresh, I’m not playing with you, get up.”

“No,” He mumbled, burrowing his face deeper into the pillow.

“Duhpana, you smell like a liquor store. Get up and go shower, you need to go to the grocery store.”

“Marisol,” He snapped, finally lifting his head. “What the hell are you even doing here? I’m on leave. There’s no need for you to be here.”

“I’m worried about you, okay?” Marisol’s normally stoic eyes held some much concern that it made his heart crack. “I know that you and Harlow had this great epic love story, I know that I can’t even begin to understand how much you’re actually hurting right now. Okay, I get that. But what I do know is, you need a shower, and I need to take you to the grocery store because there is absolutely nothing but liquor in this house right now. So get your ass up, get in the shower, and let’s go. Please.”

Suresh swallowed and nodded, slowly sitting up. Marisol didn’t brag so Suresh knew she had to be worried, so against his will, he got up and entered the shower. He supposed he could be human today.

He could already tell this was a mistake. There were absolutely too many people in here, his head hurt, and he was close to tears. He could’ve sworn he had heard Harlow at least three times by now. He was reaching close to his breaking point as he turned to tell Marisol that he was done; and ready to go home.

“Suresh?” A cheery voice called out to him.

Fuck he thought turning towards the sound of the voice. There was no way he was getting out of here soon.

It was Aliah, Harlow’s favorite cashier.

“Aliah,” He said, forcing himself to give her a small smile. “How are you?”

“I’m doing absolutely fabulous,” She laughed. “How are you? Where’s that sweet girl of yours?”

Suresh sucked in a breath almost as if she had socked him in the gut.

“Suresh?” She asked, reaching out to touch his arm, concern written all over her face. “Are you alright?”

“Harlow died.” He blurted out, the words physically hurting him. “She died a week ago.”

“Oh my god, babe, I am so so sorry,” Suresh could hear the tears in her voice and he couldn’t make himself look at her. “I am so sorry. She was something special.”

Suresh laughed, a laugh that was more sob than anything, and quickly wiped his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah she was.”

“If you need anything babe, let me know.”

“I will,” He told her. “See you around Aliah.”

Suresh didn’t remember most of the store trip after that. Most of his days and moments were like this. All passing in a blur if he was being honest. Marisol dropped him off and he left all the grocery’s in the bags on the floor, it didn’t matter anyway. It was too much food for one person.

He grabbed the bottle and sank down into his couch, put on some random show and he had no plans on moving anytime soon. He wasn’t even sure he could. He couldn’t tell you how long he sat there, or even what the show was about, only coming out of his fog when his producer called.

“Hello.” He drunkenly mumbled.

“Suresh, are you drunk?” Allegra gasped.

“Does it matter?” He snapped. “What the fuck do you want Allegra?”

“I need you to make a statement about Harlow.”

“You’re shit out of luck then, because I don’t want to make a statement.”

“Suresh, you have too. The whole internet is blowing up, we’re getting call after call. It’s getting wild.”

“No, Allegra. I fucking said no. I don’t care. If I make this statement, it makes it real, and I’m not ready.”

“Suresh, listen to me. I understand that you must be hurting…”

“You don’t understand shit.”

“Look okay, you’re right I don’t, but if you do not make this statement, soon they’re going to began to harass you, fans, paparazzi, the likes. Do you want that?”

“I’m sorry. I’m just not ready. Goodbye Allegra.”

Suresh hung up. He wasn’t ready. They would just have to deal with it.

But the more he sat there, the more he thought about it, the more he realized he wouldn’t be able to handle the fan comments asking about her, he wouldn’t be able to leave and everyone harassing him to get details, so with a broken sob, he pulled out his phone, and opened instagram. He couldn’t tell you the picture he chose of her and him, just that her beautiful smile hurt his heart, and with shaky hands, he began to write…

My sweet, beautiful, wonderful Harlow, I am falling apart. It feels like I can barely breath, and somehow this broken heart of mine is still beating. I didn’t want to make this statement, I didn’t want to confirm this was real. I miss you so much, sweetheart, you can’t even began to know how much. You’re my best friend, my other half, my saving grace, and now my guardian angel. What I wouldn’t give for this to be a bad dream, for you to come back to me. I miss you. I miss your sarcastic, witty remarks, your beautiful laugh, your awful dad jokes. I’m not sure how I can keep going without you. I love you so much darling, rest easy, my love. I’ll look for you in my dreams.

Love forever yours

Resh

Holding his breath, he pressed publish and it wasn’t long before comments started flooding in, he quickly closed out of the app, and in his grief, his anger at being in this situation, he threw his phone, shattering it on impact, he grabbed the bottle beside him and it was like the grief in his chest was a monster rearing his ugly head, causing him to destroy everything in his apartment, even the grocery’s that Marisol just bought.

And a few moments later, amidst all the broken things, Suresh dropped to his knees, sobbing, feeling the last piece of his heart shatter.

[violetlilysunshine]

Like a Sleepover

Tom Holland x Female Reader

Requested

Anon: Sleeping over Tom Holland house for the first time. Lots of fluff please

WC: 3,544

Warnings: none, just fluff

A/N: I'm seeing this take place in Atlanta, but it’s not really specific if you wanna imagine it somewhere else!

REQUESTS OPEN - Or just come chat :)

MASTERLIST

You and Tom had been together for a little while; you were getting serious, spending more and more time together.

Last month, you finally put a label on yourselves, “is it...ya know, uh… can I, well…” he stuttered.

“Spit it out, Tommy,” you joked.

“Can I call you my girlfriend?”

You were taken aback for a second, “well, uh, to be honest, I kinda thought I already was…” you giggled.

He laughed at you gently, “well alright then, girlfriend…” he trailed off with a raise of his eyebrows.

“Okay, boyfriend.”

TUESDAY

Flash forward and you’re making plans for this weekend seeing as you're both off from filming.

“Yeah, so they’re showing Outsiders at the drive-in on Friday, and we’d have to go to the later showing after I finish filming, but uh, I thought it would be fun and something different for us and I know you love the movie. Might be fun to dress like Greasers too,” he proposed through the phone, calling you between scenes.

“Ooh that does sound like fun, but I wanna be Cherry,” you said, giggling a bit.

“Okay, you can be Cherry, I’ll be Ponyboy,” he finalized.

“Sounds good, well I gotta go,” you said, “duty calls.”

“Yeah, me too, but uh, one more thing real fast?”

“Sure, what’s up, babe?”

“Well seeing as it’s going to be really late, I just thought maybe after it’s over, you could maybe stay with me?” his voice tweaked up at the end. He was met with silence on your end for a minute before he added, “ya know, like a sleepover…”

“Uh, yeah, maybe…” you trailed off, “we’ll see what the wind blows, huh?”

“Oh,” he said, his voice dropping a bit, “yeah sounds good.”

“Okay, well I really do have to run.”

“Alright, darling, talk to you tonight.”

“Bye,” you said, already walking out of your trailer and back to set.

“Yeah, bye,” he answered to himself, seeing as you’d already ended the call.

You had never been nervous with him before, but now he’d casually invited you to stay over at his house for the night, something you’d never done with any boyfriend, ever. You didn’t know how to act, and it kinda freaked you out.

Was he expecting anything? What would you even wear? Should you bring a change of clothes? Would late night last into early morning? What if you woke up before him and didn’t know what to do in his house? What if he woke up first and you slept in really late, leaving him bored and trapped?

Questions swirled your mind, and you knew he would bring it up again, but you had to force them away. You hustled back to set, getting into character and trying to forget about everything.

He called you later that night, “wanna grab a bite with Harry and I?” he proposed.

“Uh sure,” you thought since Harry would be there, he wasn’t likely to bring it up again.

You met him just down the street from his house at the forgotten diner you frequented, never being recognized and getting some peace together. You grabbed burgers and chatted about your day as you ate and everything seemed fine. He didn’t bring it up again, and you thought you would have another few days to process everything and hopefully get over the hurdles in your mind. You wanted to stay with him, but you didn’t know how that would play out, exactly.

“Finished?” he asked, gesturing to your empty tray as he stood up.

“Yeah, thanks,” you smiled, and he cleaned up the table and took the trash to the can.

“I’m gonna walk back, if that’s okay,” Harry said, standing from the table, “got some photos I wanna edit.”

“Sure, bro, I’ll be right behind you,” Tom answered, coming back to you.

“Bye,” you waved as he left you and Tom alone.

“Walk you to your car?” Tom offered.

You stood up, turning around to thank the workers as the two of you left the diner. He walked you to your car, one hand secured around your shoulders, hugging you tight to his side.

“So, uh, I kinda got the sense that you didn’t want to stay with me earlier,” he said slowly, testing the waters to see how you would react.

You swallowed hard, turning to lean on the door of your car, “oh,” you whispered, “well uh, it’s not that, it’s just that I don’t - I’ve never really, uh, done that before.”

“Yeah I know we haven’t, love,” he chuckled.

“I mean, like ever,” you whispered, looking at the ground, “I just uh, don’t really know how that works.”

“Oh, well, uh, it’s not that hard really,” he soothed, “you just sorta sleep at my place, and I take care of you, and make you breakfast, and we just be together.”

You looked into his chocolate eyes, nothing but love pouring out of them. You don’t know how long you held his gaze for, but he started to get a little nervous at your lack of response.

“I mean, we’ve napped together before, it’s kinda like the same thing, just longer,” he added, trying to put you at ease.

“But like, what’s gonna happen?” you said, fiddling with your hands.

He understood what your emphasis meant, bringing a hand to your shoulder and rubbing it gently, “I’m not expecting anything, love,” he soothed you, “if it happens, fine, I’m ready for that. If you’re not that’s fine too, just wanna cuddle with you. Feel you pressed against me. Have my sheets smell like you when I get in ‘em the next night.”

You felt more at ease about it, but wrinkled your nose at his last statement.

His eyes grew wide, “no no no,” he hurried out, “I didn’t mean it, like, in a weird way! It came out wrong!”

You giggled at him, “it’s okay, bub, I get it. Why do you think I like wearing your hoodies all the time?”

He breathed a sigh of relief, chuckling at you, “yeah?”

“Yeah, and to be honest I don’t really even like hoodies. I’m a sweatshirt kind of gal.”

“Noted,” he answered, saving that info for later, “so what d’ya think about Friday?”

“I’ll stay, but like, do I bring anything?”

“You can bring whatever makes you comfortable, love,” he answered quietly, stepping towards you and cupping your face in his hands.

“Okay,” you breathed, connecting your lips to his.

You kissed for a while, his body pressing yours into the door. You pulled back to take a breath, resting your forehead on his, “but really, do I bring like, a toothbrush and stuff?”

“Yes, love, bring a toothbrush,” he chuckled, pecking you again. He swung his arm around your shoulder again, pulling you off the car, “let’s get you home, yeah?”

He opened your door, letting you inside the driver’s seat and closing the door. You started the car, him still standing there watching you. You rolled down the window, “are you coming or what?” you laughed.

“What?” he asked with a chuckle.

“I’m taking you home, obviously,” you giggled.

He ran around to the other side, hopping in quickly and buckling up. His hand rested against your thigh instantly, stroking his thumb across your skin.

You made the short drive to his house, lights on downstairs showing that Harry was already there.

“Thanks for the ride, baby,” Tom said, leaning over the console and giving you a quick peck.

“Anytime,” you whispered, pecking him again.

“See you Friday,” he said with a raise of his eyebrows, squeezing your thigh.

“Yeah, Friday,” you answered quickly.

He pecked you one last time before slipping out of the car and jogging to the front door. You watched him go inside, waving to each other before you drove off.

THURSDAY

After you were off, you took a long shower, exfoliating everything and shaving your legs, in preparation for tomorrow night. You carefully packed your bag: toothbrush, toothpaste, floss, mouthwash, hair brush, extra ponytail holders, face wash, cute pajamas, fuzzy socks, extra undies (more than you’ll ever possibly need but can’t be too prepared, right?), a cute outfit for Saturday, and a book (because who knows what the tide will bring?).

You’d spent so long worrying about what you would take with you, that you’d forgotten that you had to find something to wear to the movie. You’d already agreed to be Cherry, so you had to come up with something.

You slipped to the back of your closet, finding an old-plaid-navy-school-uniform skirt. That’ll work. You pulled out a plain white sweater that you’d never found a chance to wear, thinking you could tuck that in, and a lace bralette to go underneath it; after all, you wanted to feel a little sexy. You pulled forward some old blue Vans and some white crew socks, planning to fold them over. You also planned to ask your hair and make-up artist to help you with your hair before you left set tomorrow, saving a few pictures for her.

By the time you’d done all that, you figured you better go to bed, turning off the light, crawling into bed, and thinking about what tomorrow would bring.

FRIDAY

You’d had a long and stressful day filming, stuttering over your lines, missing your marks, and overall just not giving your best performance. Everyone has their off days, but you knew this was coming from your worries about tonight.

You called Tom as you were getting your hair done after wrapping for the day.

“Hi, bub, am I interrupting you?” you asked as soon as he answered.

“Never, love,” he answered, “what’s up?”

“Well, I’m getting my hair done for tonight, then I was going to head home. Just wanted to make sure you didn’t want me to stop and get anything at all or bring anything specific with me..”

“Course not, darling. You just have to bring that pretty face…” he trailed off.

If you were with him, you’d have slapped his shoulder lightly. Instead you just giggled, asking, “you’re positive?”

“Yes darling,” he insisted, “I’ll pick you up at 9:00.”

“Alright…” you trailed, “guess I better let you get back to work.”

“I’ll see you later, beautiful,” he whispered, “bye.”

“Bye.”

Your hair and make-up artist finished her work, expertly recreating your example images. You thanked her profusely, complimenting her over and over.

She answered with a simple, “it’s nothing dear,” and a wave of her hand.

You hugged her thank you, heading back to your trailer to collect your things.

By the time you got back to your apartment, it was already 8:30. You quickly dropped your work and other set junk on the table, scurrying to your room to collect your bag for Tom’s. You checked over everything in there, playing all the possible scenarios in your mind before deciding you were prepared.

You changed into your outfit for the night, lacing your shoes and admiring yourself in the full length mirror. You snapped a few pictures, deciding that one was cute and posted it to your Instagram story with the caption, “where’s my Pony?” and a cherry emoji.

As soon as you put it up, Tom knocked on your door. You rushed through the living room to the front door, flinging it open to see what Tom had concocted for the evening. You took in his appearance, mouth watering at the sight. You admired his slicked back hair, tight grey t-shirt, sleeves rolled up a bit of course, loose jeans, cuffed at the hem, beat up black converse, and red flannel hanging over his shoulder; you didn’t realize the effect this dress-up would have on you. You giggled, eyeing him up and down as he did the same to you.

“Hey, doll,” he grinned, meeting your eyes again.

“Hey, Pony,” you laughed.

“Ready to go?” he asked gently.

“Yeah, let me just get my bag from my room,” you said, turning back to grab it from your bed.

At the last second you decided to throw a box of tampons in. You weren’t expecting to use them, but you didn’t want to get stranded without them. You sighed, zipping up the bag and turning off your bedroom light.

You emerged from the room, walking towards Tom, standing by the table.

“Ready,” you said, voice kind of quiet.

“Let’s go then,” he smiled brightly, taking your bag from you and grabbing your hand. You locked the door behind you before following him to his car.

~~~~

When you parked to watch the movie, Tom was quick to pull out his phone, snapping a picture of the title screen and posting it to his public story. You knew fans would be in a tizzy, considering your earlier post, but they always were so what’s the point in worrying. Then he turned to you, “take a photo with me, love?”

“Course, Pony, anything for you,” you said dramatically, even though you loved it.

“Are you gonna call me that all night?” he chuckled.

“Maybe forever,” you answered, laughing loudly.

He pulled his phone up to take a selfie. You smiled wide, pressing your faces together, and he turned to peck your cheek. He snapped another, smiling as well, saving it and setting it as his lock screen.

The movie was great, as expected, and the drive-in atmosphere made it even more fun. You didn’t have to worry about fans interrupting you, a big plus, but it also just fit the movie so well, and it was fun to be in costume.

When it wrapped up and you were waiting in the traffic to pull out of the lot, Tom asked gently, “still wanna come over?”

“Yeah, sure,” you said, trying not to overthink things.

“Okay, just making sure. You don’t have to if you don’t want to. Just want you to be comfortable,” he said, dropping a hand to your thigh and giving it a gentle squeeze.

“Oh, well I wanna give it a go,” you said with a small smile, placing your hand on top of his.

He smiled wide, picking up your hand to give it a kiss, before dropping it back into your lap.

The drive to his house was quick after you finally made it out of the parking lot. He hurried around the car, opening your door for you, before grabbing your bag from the backseat.

He placed a hand on your lower back, gently guiding you to the front door. He shuffled around to unlock it, pushing open the door and allowing you to enter first. You stepped inside, making note of Harry on the couch. It was almost 1:00 AM, so you’d assumed he'd be asleep.

“Oh, hey Harry,” you spoke lightly.

“Hey, was wondering when you’d get here…” he trailed off, “I was just about to turn in. Outfit’s great by the way,” he said, standing from the couch and gathering his laptop.

“I don’t mean to chase you out,” you said, not wanting to be in the way.

“No, no, you didn’t,” he soothed, “it’s time to turn in anyway, gonna go golf in the morning.”

“Oh, okay, goodnight.”

“Night,” he said, trudging down the hall.

Tom had set your bag on the bench in the entryway, coming up behind you. He placed his hands on your hips, pulling you flush against his front, as he snuggled his face into your neck.

“Hi,” he whispered in your hair.

“Hi,” you giggled back, attempting to turn in his grasp.

His hands held you in place, wrapping around to cross over your stomach. He rested his weight against you, slowly swaying the both of you back and forth.

You eyed the mirror across the room, desperate to take pictures like this. After all, he got a new lockscreen earlier…

“Bub,” you giggled, feeling his breath fan across your neck.

“Mmm, yes, my love?” he grumbled, pressing kisses against your skin.

“I wanna take a picture,” you giggled, “over in that cool mirror.”

He squeezed you tighter for a second, before releasing you, “mmkay,” he answered, letting you lead him over to the mirror.

“Do that again,” you told him, guiding his arms around your waist.

He was quick to settle back into you, breathing in your scent as you snapped a few photos in the mirror: a few of him kissing your neck, a few with you both looking in the mirror, a few of him looking at you, lovingly. He buried his face even further into you, hiding completely, as you took just one more. You asked him if it was okay to post one.

“Let me see it first,” he said, wanting to check all of the surroundings for spoilers and whatnot.

He was quick to approve the photo with his lips pressed to your jaw, making you smile.

You put it up on your story, captioning this one, “found him,” with the horse and cherry emojis.

He kissed your neck a few times, watching you post, before mumbling, “ready for bed?”

You yawned slowly, “yeah, I think so.”

“Alright,” he whispered, pecking your cheek one final time.

He slid one hand down your arm, locking your fingers together, and pulling you towards the staircase. He picked up your bag, carrying it with him up to his bedroom. You followed him in and he set your bag on the end of the bed.

“Alright, darling,” he said, rubbing his hands together gently, “make yourself at home.”

“Okay,” you giggled, stepping towards the end of the bed gently.

He’d placed your bag in the middle, next to a sweatshirt. You looked at him, making note of its presence.

“Oh, well, uh, you said you didn’t like hoodies, so I uh, pulled this one out for you, ya know, if you want it,” he said, shuffling his feet.

All you could do was smile, You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him into you. You kissed him gently, lingering for just a second.

“Thank you,” you whispered against his lips.

“You’re welcome, darling.”

You turned towards the bed, stepping back from him.

“So what’d you bring?” he asked, one hand finding the zipper of your bag as he tried to get a peek inside. You were quick to stop his hands, not wanting him to see the box of tampons thrown on top.

“Things,” you said giggling, “teeth stuff, hair stuff, clothes, a book…” you trailed off.

“A book?” he laughed lightly, “what book?”

“Looking for Alaska,” you answered, “it’s my comfort book.”

“Well, you’ll have to read it to me,” he said with a glint in his eye.

“Okay,” you whispered with a sheepish smile.

“I’m gonna pop in the bathroom real quick, alright?”

“Of course, it’s your house,” you laughed.

In his absence, you changed clothes, dragging on your tiny sleep shorts and matching tank top and pulling his sweatshirt over the top. You moved your bag off the mattress, dropping it on the floor. He came back quickly, seeing your new outfit, and smiling widely.

“Looks good on you,” he grinned.

“Thanks,” you said, “can I take my makeup off?”

“Course,” he answered, gesturing to the bathroom.

While you did that, he changed as well, dressing in a new t-shirt and clean boxers; he didn’t want to get in bed with you for the first time in dirty boxers of course. He shuffled under the covers, tucking into his usual side and propping against the headboard. He scrolled through Instagram, reposting your stories to his own and liking a few posts of yours.

You returned, dropping your items back in your bag, and grabbing your book. You flipped off the overhead light and stepped into the other side, enjoying how utterly domestic everything felt.

He flipped on the lamp on the side table, opening his arm for you to rest against him. You settled against his chest, opening your book to start to read to him. He kissed your head and rubbed small circles into your arm.

Your eyes were getting heavy as you read, but you would gladly stay up all night reading with him. Unfortunately, he started to doze off, snoring just enough for you to hear. You closed the book, marking your page but knowing you’d have to go back a little bit tomorrow, and reached over to turn the light off.

He woke up a bit, grumbling, “what’re you doing, love?”

“Just turning off the light,” you whispered, “go back to sleep.”

He sank down to lay against the pillows. You dropped back over to your side, curling up, but leaving some distance between you two. You faced him, admiring his face as he slept.

“What’re you doing?” he grumbled, eyes still closed.

“What do you mean?” you giggled, “going to sleep.”

“No, c’mere,” he said, reaching an arm out to wrap around your waist.

He pulled you into him, tangling your legs together and pecking your cheeks. You giggled at him, pulling his lips to yours, kissing him goodnight.

“G’night, my love,” he grumbled, tipping his head back to rest his chin against your forehead.

“Night, Pony,” you whispered back.

He chuckled, squeezing you tighter before you both drifted off to sleep.

[cloudninetonine]

A past that still haunts me

A/N: Hey guys, it's me (ya boi) I'm back with my still current hyper fixation Genshin Impact and a vent fic because I've been really stressed and well, it's hard living in my house :) It's a hurt/comfort fic because they always get to me and I needed to make something for myself

I am willing to do aftermath where the boys confront the abuser or do scenario but with different characters

Synopsis: You’re not a damsel in distress, you never have been and you never will be, but, well, sometimes you need a hero to rely on and that’s okay

Characters: Diluc, Kaeya, Zhongli and Childe

Warnings: Hints to past abuse, confrontation of abuser, violence, mentions of blood, threats, foul language

It had meant to be like any other menial day of an adventurer: sign in with Katheryne, complete your commissions, sign out with Katheryne with your payments - done and dusted.

But that wasn’t how it went, no, far from it - archons, so damn far from it.

“Thank you once again, (Name)” Katheryne’s smile was kind like usual, holding that familiar feeling of gratitude as she handed over your remission within a marked package, hand returning to the desk’s polished surface once you had taken it graciously, sending her a beaming grin back. “The Guild really appreciates your work ethic when it comes to the Ruin machines, it’s hard to come across adventurers who want to handle them anymore”

You sent her a shrug as you placed away the box “Can’t blame them really, they’re a hard bunch to handle- I was terrified of them when I first started too, but I had my vision to help me out, a lot of these folk only use there pure determination to eradicate them, gotta admire that!”

She laughed along with you politely “Have a good evening, (Name), I’ll see you again tomorrow?”

“Of course you will!” You backpedalled away from the guild reception, throwing the woman a polite double fingered salute as you did “Ad astra abyssoque as they say, my fair lady!”

She parrotted back her usual phrase before disappearing into the building, you walking further down the path of the city for your final activity for that day.

Of course, you didn’t reach that far, after all, it wasn’t that menial day you had expected, that you had wanted. Life was cruel sometimes, so incredibly cruel for no justified reason just for the sake of it all and you wished, archons, you wished you could rewind the clock and stop yourself from bumping into the body, to save yourself from all the repressed trauma bursting forth like a flurry of butterflies, well, more like moths, disgusting, ungodly, monster moths that aimed straight for the face.

“Sorry!” You yelped, too preoccupied with gathering your pocketwatch you had dropped in the stumble to see who it had been, after all, you were on a schedule and you didn’t want to be-

“(Name)?”

...late.

All of a sudden, time didn’t seem to exist, or maybe it was moving way too slowly from that horrid spike of adrenaline that shot into your bloodstream as soon as the voice registered.

You hoped to the Archons that it wasn’t, that it couldn’t, but did the gods hear your prayers?

“Oh Archons, it is you! It’s been such a long time!”

Of course, they did, they just didn’t care to listen. Ignoring the cries of your people were in fashion to them these days.

They stood there with a smile so excited it almost seemed to tear their face in half, with eyes sparkling with recognition after so many years away from them, they opened their arms welcoming you into their embrace like it was something just so normal for the two of you like you would come bounding to them like a lost puppy who had finally found their master.

The fear of your abuser dwarfed in comparison the pure feral rage and loathing to think that they even deserved to be breathing in the same space as you.

People were looking, of course, they were looking, you knew what they were doing, being bright and jovial, bringing others attention towards you both so that whatever scene you caused would be your fault like you were the bad guy. It was old tactics, of course, you wouldn’t dare do anything when you were younger, you’d just push through it, but this wasn’t old times, this wasn’t younger you, scared, smaller you afraid them, this was you now, a warrior, unwavering in battle, a person who smiled in the face of danger, who laughed at the pitiful fights that 2- no- 4 abyss mages brought to you!

To hell what other people thought, you’d stomp their head into the cobblestone if they had so much as poked you.

“Come here and give me a-”

You took a step back, mustering the deadliest face you could, but you wavered, it was only natural, no matter how much you could try to hype yourself up, this person was your first true experience of real-life nightmares, the first person to bring you true pain, no matter how many ruin guards, hunters, millachurls, mages- anything you faced, nothing could prepare you to face your first fear:

The fear of your older sibling.

“If you fucking touch me I’ll stab you-” The growl cracked nearing the end, you were always an angry crier but you were not about to fall back to this- this monster. “In front of all these people, I won’t hesitate”

Their face dropped followed by your stomach, though, the food you had for lunch sure did feel its way up your gullet.

“What’s with your language? We haven’t seen each other in four years and this is how you treat me? Your older sibling?” They laughed in disbelief because onlookers would think they were shocked, I mean, how could you speak to family like that? But they didn’t know, they didn’t know the words they had told you, the insults, the threats, those tight grabs, those beatings- they didn’t know, so they obviously didn’t know that the shock came from the fact that you had stood up to them.

You licked your lips to get rid of the dryness, but the problem you faced was that your mouth had dried out along with them, as did your throat.

Don’t let them turn this on you, don’t let them get the upper hand, you were better than them, so much better.

“You’re not my fucking sibling” You spat, feeling the air vibrate around you, a sudden shine from your cloak hinted you to the cause “You haven’t been for a long time, don’t fucking try that shit with me”

There it was, that familiar enraged spark, that look of hatred on their face, the thing that warned you about what you said had been the right thing to set them off, that they were just as easily triggered by the smallest act of rebellion just like when you were kids.

Of course, they hadn’t changed.

Evil never did.

They took a step forward but you didn’t back off, just hardened your resolve as they leaned in menacingly, as though their stupid little intimidation tactic still worked after all these years.

You told yourself it didn’t but you knew deep down that wasn’t completely true.

“Don’t speak to me like that, (Name)” Facade gone, they showed you what they really were, what they were really like after all, “Don’t you ever speak to me like that, you show me fucking respect”

Respect?

RESPECT!?

Oh Archons, you were angry, no, seething from the thought that they ever deserved respect.

That pathetic piece of shit, that gruelling pleb, mere gum on the bottom of your damn shoe-

You’d kill them, right here, right now.

You felt the familiar materialisation begin to form in your hand when another voice called out, a familiar loving one that nearly made your throat swell from relief.

“(Name)?”

Diluc

He could sense the tension. Of course, he could sense the tension, Diluc had faced this tension so many times before, he was practically the one that owned such a vibe anytime Kaeya even breathed near him for a second longer than necessary.

But being the one to witness it, to see you, the usual awkward, goofy sweetheart stare at another with such overbearing malice made him uneasy, caused his stomach to churn in ways he didn’t like, set him off in a way that was only reserved for the most chilling on moments.

Diluc wondered what exactly this stranger had done to warrant such a reaction from you.

“(Name)?” The redhead called, glancing around the many citizens of Mondstadt that watched the exchange with intrigue, guard and worry, eyes focused on the scene of this foreign stranger and fuming you, hand poised by your side with weapon particles dancing on your palm.

When Diluc finally made it over, his form seemed to curl protectively around you, hand landing on the small of your back delicately while keeping face with the person, eyes narrowed dangerously but still holding an air of civilness.

A true gentleman, even when you were close to merking some rando.

“Is there a problem?”

The stranger straightened immediately, backing up a few steps with their hands up in defence, sending Diluc a charming smile that the man could see through crystal clear.

“No problem, no problem at all” They glanced back at you, seemingly friendly despite his partner’s obvious ill intent that radiated off you in waves “Isn’t that right, (Name)?”

Diluc saw you tense up once again, the buzz from your Vision rising in volume with your obvious anger as you tightened your first, ready to just screw your weapon and go for the throat.

“If that is the case” The noble’s hand softly pressed against your back, gently but coaxing, knowing that conflict in the middle of the town centre would just bring the knights to meddle in affairs that they had no business attending “Then we shall be going”

“There’s no need to leave, after all, my sibling and I were just chatting”

He paused, shouldering a questioning glance your way but at the sight of your unruly expression, he pushed down his enquiries and once again began coaxing you away from the scene. Angel’s Share had already been open for a while, meaning the usual folk would already be settled in, but the storage room was sure to be a good place to chat and to calm you down, all he needed to do was get you away.

“We already had plans” The side glance had the stranger- your sibling, biting their tongue, brows furrowing in a known annoyance as the two of you began your way towards the pub, you still vibrating in anger. “Good day to you”

The two of you had made it a few feet when they called out once again “Don’t worry, (Name), I’ll see you again real soon”

Diluc’s arm tightened around you faster than you could react, tugging you away quickly “Diluc-”

“No, (Name)”

“Stay out-”

“Not here” Sharing a look, he softened at the shine in your eyes. “You’ll just attract the knights' attention”

You didn’t care, no, not one bit. If the knights had dared to interfere at that moment, they too would have been caught up in your blinded revenge, thrown aside or slashed down without single care just to finally eradicate the bane of your existence and you didn’t care about what consequences you brought about, you just didn’t and you made sure to tell Diluc that, as soon as you had the privacy of Angel’s Share’s storeroom, pacing up and down while he stood off to the side against the wall, watching silently.

“You had no right to get in my way!” You snapped, voice shaking from the pure emotions you were releasing “I finally had my chance, I was finally going to do it! They deserve to end by my hand, by my decision, after the years of torture they put me through! They deserved it! And you got in my way! How could you get in my way! I-”

Pushing off the wall, he slowly advanced towards you, carefully, hands out like he was approaching a wounded animal.

“I understand you’re upset-”

“I’m not upset!” You cried at him, stopping mid-step before dropping your head and tightly, grabbing your hair in your hands “I’m not upset! I’m angry! I’m so fucking angry! And I deserve to be fucking angry! I-”

The sob ripped through your throat despite you trying to hold it back, tears finally gathering in your eyes and rapidly falling down your cheeks “You should have let me kill them! I should have had the chance to rid the world of their evil! It’s not fair! It’s not- it’s not fair, I-”

You didn’t bother to fight him when his arms finally wrapped around you, just fell against him as you wept. The pent up rage, fear and sadness from years of repression taking its toll as you cried, your partner whispering sweet words as he raked his hand through your hair gently and leaned his head against yours.

“I’m sorry” His hand held your cheek fondly, ruby red staring back into your own eyes with a softness that made you melt “I didn’t know this meant so much to you, but if you’re willing to tell me, I’ll listen. I’ll always listen”

With another choked sob, you leaned into his hold “Please just hold me for now”

And he did just that.

Kaeya

The captain had promised to meet you at his office, a simple task really but with the lingering presence of Jean and the words ‘There’s so much work that needs to be done’ leaving her lips he bolted, hoping to catch you by the Guild and drag you to Angel Share for your date. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to help her, it was just he had already promised you this night and Eula could have always taken his place with paperwork, her threat of “vengeance” as she liked to call it could wait for another day.

It was also due to the fact he had no intentions of filing any paperwork for as long as he could avoid it, but that was his secret to be kept.

Being the perspective man he was, he could tell straight away he had walked into something tense, surveying the surrounding people of Mondstadt who looked on in concern, the unbridled rage upon your face, the obviously intimidating lean that the stranger held over you- something was wrong and he knew he had to put a stop to it.

“(Name)?” You glanced for a single moment before your furious glare had returned to the stranger, another flag waving right in his face as he approached, “My dear? Who might this be?”

Before you could snap, lip curling in disgust, the stranger stood back to their full height, switching quickly with a fake charming smile that practically mirrored his own, holding out their hand towards him “(S/N) (Last), (Name)’s older sibling. it’s nice to meet you”

Kaeya’s smile widened and despite the glare from you that was now focused on him, he shook your sibling's hand in-kind “Kaeya Alberich, (Name)’s partner-”

He made sure to tighten his grip with his last words “And Cavalry Captain of the Knights of Favonius”

Successfully, as he always was, Kaeya held back the smug, mocking grin that itched to climb onto his face when the neck of your sibling bobbed nervously, forehead reflecting the afternoon light as sweat gathered on their brow.

The man hadn’t obviously threatened them, surely, Kaeya was smarter than that, but then again, he could still present himself as a threat, a good one and well, his title was a menacing one when it came to the right moment. ‘Try anything and not only do I have the authority to kick your arse but the power to put you in a place many didn’t dare even step’ shortened into an innocent sentence with only 8 words.

“Cavalry Captain? That’s quite impressive” They laughed off, tugging away their hand awkwardly when Kaeya continued to keep a firm grip, his present eye focused solely on your siblings face. They glanced over to you “Quite an achievement for you, aye (Name)?”

You growled, “I’ll show you an achievement-”

Kaeya’s arm had wrapped around your waist not a second later, tugging you tighter to his side as the two of you turned, the man throwing your sibling a smile over his shoulder.

“As nice as it was to meet you, (S/B), we must be going”

And then without another word Kaeya dragged you away, heading in the direction of your home instead of Angel Share tavern, feeling your pure, unfiltered anger the whole way along with the citizens as they parted ways, rushing off from your rage.

It was only when you had returned to the sanctuary of your abode did you snap, jerking away from your boyfriend with angered strides and beginning your seething lecture towards him, moving up and down through the living room while he ventured off into the kitchen, grabbing 2 glasses and a bottle of wine.

“How dare you Kaeya! How fucking dare you! Do you have any idea what you were doing back there!? What was even happening back there!? So much for being the most observant man in Mondstadt because you seemed pretty dense to me the whole fucking time!” Your hands raked through your hair as you yelled, trying so hard to hold back the tears “I didn’t need your damn help, Kaeya! Nor did I fucking want it! Know to stay out of someone's business when it isn’t wanted!”

Logically you knew what he had done, you were smart like that and you knew Kaeya long enough to know what he was doing but your rage, fear and sadness blocked out everything in that moment, made you blind to reality, made you only think irrationally and Kaeya didn’t blame you for that. He could never blame you for that.

Though, it did hurt him to see you in this state.

“Wine?”

You gawked at him for a moment, staring at him with shock and confusion as he held out a wine glass towards you, another held in his other hand and a sweet smile plastered on his face, before your moment morphed into rage, grabbing the drink from his hand and tossing it towards the wall, the red wine splattering over the wallpaper and glass shards falling to the floor.

“Well, that was a waste-”

“Do you think I’m an idiot, Kaeya!?” You cried, not even bothering to hold back anymore as the tears fell and your voice cracked, hand pointing accusingly in his face “Is this some kind of joke to you!? Huh!? Am I a fool in your eyes!? Some sort of blubbering idiot!? Why must you- why do you-”

The second glass was placed on the dresser by you both, Kaeya’s hand coming to hold your cheek fondly while the other came to grab your hand that dangled in the air, still poised at him “I don’t think you're either of those, my dear, in fact, I think you’re one of the brightest in the whole of Teyvat, nevermind Mondstadt”

You hiccuped “Then why-”

Brushing away the wetness from your cheek, he brought your hand to his mouth to place a fond kiss on your palm “Because you mustn’t cry, (Name), don’t waste your tears on someone like them”

“I’m not crying, I’m-”

He shushed you gently and you finally relaxed, falling into his embrace with a heavy heart “-I’m not, I swear-”

Within the familiarity of your home, you wept in his arms, exhausted from the whirlwind of emotions and the scenes that had transpired that day, ready to just curl into yourself and try to block the flooding memories of history. Although, having Kaeya at that moment helped more than he could ever know, having him to rely on made it all so much easier to cope with that day.

“Tell me what ails you and I’ll listen” Brushing back some hair, he pressed a kiss to your head.

“Can..can we just stay like this for a while?”

“Of course, my dear”

Zhongli

He had sensed the incoming danger like it had been revealed in some sort of premonition. Maybe it had been a skill he had acquired after his long, eventful life, maybe it was his connection to Liyue and his citizens, but for some reason, as he sat before Iron Tongue Tian as the man recalled his tales of ancient Liyue like usual, Zhongli knew that the crowd that was forming around Wamin Restaurant had something that he need urgently attend, especially when even Tian paused his story to glance around the corner of the restaurant building to see the commotion.

When the archon had finally borne witness to the scene, he paused within the crowd, surveying the surroundings carefully. You were the centre of attention, along with another stranger, both glaring at one another with anger and disgust, though your own anger seemed to double compared to the other’s, seeing as your weapon was slowly materialising in your grip. Zhongli could also see Guild Master Lan making her way down the steps leading to the Guild reception, a worried expression on her face glancing between you and the approaching Millelith.

Zhongli made his decision, politely pushing through the crowd until he had finally made it by your side, hand being placed gently on your arm “(Name)?”

Both you and the stranger glanced at him, but he paid no mind to them, only held eye contact with you when Lan appeared by your other side, glaring at the stranger with a hardened gaze.

“Are you harassing my guild member?”

Before the stranger could respond, the Millelith had also popped in, glancing between you and them “Is there a problem?”

Zhongli had taken up your view when Lan began her take, she had borne witness for much longer than he had of course and he was certain that you were in no state to talk to the guards. Your eyes were glazed with hatred, pupils pinpricks in a sea of (E/C) and your hands were shaking, balled into fists.

If anything, he needed to try and calm you down first.

“Get the hell out of my way, Zhongli” Your teeth ground together, words shaking with anger “Don’t push yourself into my business”

“I’m sorry, my love, but I can’t do that” He tried brushing your cheek but you jerked away, glaring at his hand before glaring back at him, in no mood to be coddled “I don’t want you to do something you’d regret”

“Trust me, I won’t regret this one bit”

Zhongli held his tongue for the question that almost rolled out, knowing now wasn’t the time for inquiries when the stranger’s voice rang out, condescending and snarky as they addressed you.

“Still need people to protect you, aye (Name)? Of course, you’re still the same pathetic bitch from years ago”

You were lucky for your reputation around Liyue, for the picture of the kind and caring adventurer that had swept through the town from your years of living here because had it not been for that, you pushing aside your boyfriend and materialising your weapon to aim it at your sibling’s throat would have had you in cuffs that instant.

Lan grabbed you, tugging you away as you screamed “I’ll show you pathetic you fucker! Let me go!”

The Millelith didn’t wait to drag your sibling away, much to their cries of dismay, one sending Lan a nod while you continued to fight against her, crying out in frustration.

“Kid, you have to calm down-”

“Calm down!? No! Get the hell off me!”

Zhongli watched as you finally broke away, huffing and puffing up a storm before glancing amongst the crowd, staring at their worried and concerned faces, your own eyes tearing up before you looked away pushing past the crowd to find somewhere to be alone.

When Lan went to call out for you, Zhongli raised his hand, the two sharing a look before the archon made his way after you, his longer legs keeping a steady pace to which he could catch up to you, just beyond the bridge that led into Liyue Harbour. There were no people where you stood, just the lush green plants and great mountains of nature, a perfect place for you to let out your frustration without the prying eyes of the citizens.

“(Name)-”

“Leave me alone!” You cried, curling into yourself with your back turned to him “I don’t want you here, Zhongli! Nor did I want you back there! I didn’t need your or anyone else's help!”

You knew he was here from a place of concern, and deep down you begged that your words didn’t harm him in any way, but currently, you didn’t care, you didn’t want to care, you just wanted to be numb, numb to the flashbacks of your horrid past and numb to the feelings that were dragged along with them.

“My love, please, return with me to our home, I will brew some calming tea-”

“Tea? Tea!? Does it look like I want any fucking tea?! I couldn’t care any less about some fucking tea, Zhongli!” Spinning around on your heels, you scowled at him, not bothering to hide your rushing tears “Don’t you get it!? I want to be left alone, I-”

Two gloved hands gently encased your face, your angered expression morphing into one of shock as your partner stared down at you with glowing eyes filled with a deep-rooted love, affection, worry and so much more that you couldn’t put into mere mortal words. At that moment, everything felt as if it had melted away, only you and him were in this world, nothing else, just the two of you.

And you felt as though your heart had been lifted from the pressures of this life.

“I do not think it is best for you to be left alone” His baritone voice was always so calming, so serene and in your sane moment, you finally felt its effects “I wish to stay with you, so please, let me stay”

With a whimper, you grabbed onto his forearms and leaned your face into his hands, tears continuing to fall as your eyes fluttered shut “Okay…”

“They have hurt you deeply, haven’t they?”

Hesitantly, you nodded.

“Would you be so kind as to tell me the details?”

“I-...” Sharing eye contact once again, you whispered “Can- can you just...hold me for now? Please”

Moving his hands from your face, he engulfed you in his arms, leaning his head against yours “Of course”

Childe

The Harbinger had just left the Northland Bank, hell, he was just about to make his way down the spiral staircase but when hearing the commotion, he paused, something in his gut telling him to check just before and he was glad he did.

Glancing over the elevated walkway, he felt a fiery pit roar in the depths of his stomach, eyes narrowing dangerously at the scene; you were snarling in some other person’s face, their own face nothing short of disgust and a crowd that only seemed to grow by the minute.

Who the hell did this person think they were? Did they even know who you were? To stand so close to you, with a look of threat on their face like you weren’t about to kick their arse? Like he wasn’t about to kick their arse? How did this insignificant speck of dross not know your connections with him, the 11th Harbinger? Or did he know and was just trying his luck?

“Seems like someone has a death wish” And a death wish they had indeed.

Ignoring the perplexed glance from his subordinate stationed outside the building's entrance, Childe made his way down the steps, murderous look stitched on the whole way to the circle of civilians, the mass parting ways for the man that was Tartaglia and continuing to watch the moment in silence.

“Who the hell are you-” You both turned towards him, you in shock while the stranger stared in confusion until Childe’s hand wrapped around their collar, tugging them closer to look down at them with a deep-rooted disgust “-And why the hell are you harassing my partner?”

They fought against him, obviously, they did, but the surprise came when you saddled up next to him, grabbing his arm “Stay out of this, Tartaglia”

What? It hadn't been your request, no, you were always one to finish your whole fights you weren't "A damsel in distress after all!" no, you were so much more, so much greater but that look on your face, murderous and downright cruel- he just couldn't believe his ears.

Childe stared at you in shock while the stranger struggled, throwing him a dirty look in their attempts “Yeah, this is between my sibling and I”

Childe straightened in surprise, feeling embarrassment flood his system. Had he seriously just grabbed and threatened his lover’s family member? Oh, Archons, his judgement had been clouded by anger at the look of the scene, I mean, why would your sibling look at you that way-

“But it’s really no surprise that you still need to be babied, (Name), how shameful”

His eyes widened but not a moment later had you tackled your sibling, the crowd crying out in alarm as you threw back your fist and crushed their nose under the weight of your punch. “I’ll show you fucking shameful, bastard!”

There was shouting and a glance showed the oncoming Millelith marching towards the circle.

Being Fatui always did garner the attention of the guards nowadays, especially for him, who had tried to lure out the attention of their Archon by summoning an ancient god that nearly drowned the entirety of the harbour, so it was no surprise that they seemed to hurry in the pursuit when they noticed his appearance at the scene. However, lucky for him, your reputation as a great adventurer preceded you and throughout Liyue you were seen as a trusted and well-liked individual, meaning whatever trouble you got in, containing his meddling or not, was usually waved away due to the trust of the people.

So, without another thought, Childe tugged you off of your bloodied sibling and held you close, even as you thrashed violently, shouting at him to let you go.

“What is going on here?” A guard called, slamming the hilt of his polearm into the ground as he surveyed the area, eyes landing on the sibling before following the small trail of blood to you, still fighting against your boyfriend with threats falling from your lips “Was there a reason for this brawl? Who started it?”

As your sibling raised themselves on their forearms, they scowled and opened their mouth to respond, only for Childe to put in. “It was them, sir, they were the one that started it, (Name) was merely acting in self-defence”

The Millelith scowled at him, raising a brow and once again looking you over “Is that so?”

He addressed the crowd soon after “Is this what happened?”

And as expected, they all glanced over the sibling, then to you and piped up in agreement. It paid to be a hero, it seemed, the whole harbour returning the favour of years of helping out the community.

“If that’s the case, please come with us” The sibling cried out, anger and fear laced into their voice, trying to argue for their innocence only for the guards to grab them, hauling them away to archons know where while Childe did the same with you, slowly dragging you away from the scene and back into the bank, you screaming and cursing the whole way until you had made it to his office, finally managing to push him off and storming to the opposite side of the room practically seething.

“Who the hell do you think you are, Tartaglia!?” You cried, throwing out your arms in exaggeration “I didn’t need your fucking help! And why the fuck would you pull me off them!? I had them right where I wanted them and you fucking did that! Are you a moron!?”

“You had a sibling” He breathed, watching as you began to pace, muttering in an angered state “And you didn’t tell me”

“-after all these years I finally had the chance to end their pathetic excuse of a life and you just got in my fucking way! I’d waited too long for this moment and you fucking ruined it! How dare you, how fucking dare you-”

“(Name), why didn’t you tell me you had a sibling!?” He cried, walking up to you and grabbing your wrist to stop you “I was ready to kill them right there! And why are you talking about them like this!? They’re your family aren’t they-”

“They are not my fucking family!”

The scream echoed through the room, chilling Childe to the core as you ripped your arm from his grasp, running your hands through your hair before gripping it so tightly it felt close to being ripped from your head. But you didn’t care, no, you couldn’t, you were so angry and you needed something to keep you grounded, to keep yourself from losing yourself and getting lost in those haunting past memories.

The Harbinger felt his chest squeeze painfully as the tears fell down your face, red rimming your eyes and cheeks wet as you sobbed, chest heaving from trying to breathe “Family takes care of you! Family thinks of you in the highest light possible! They love you for who you are and they love you no matter what! That bastard hurt me, made me feel worthless and they refuse to believe they could do no wrong and I hate them! They are the bane of my existence! They are not my fucking family! I hate them, I hate them, I hate them, I-”

Arms were around you instantly, Childe’s face pressed into your hair as you wept, grasping onto the lapels of his suit and shoving your face into his chest to muffle your cries.

“I’m sorry” He whispered, his own eyes shining slightly “I’m sorry, I was being insensitive. Please, don’t cry”

“No, I’m not crying, I promised myself I wouldn’t-” You hiccuped “I wouldn’t waste any more tears on them-”

Then you broke off into more wails, your boyfriend holding you close and letting you continue to cry in his arms, warm and comforting until you were finally reduced to whimpers, leaning into him heavily as the remaining adrenaline in your body began to wear thin when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

“Will...will you tell me about it?”

You sniffed “Later...just hold me for now, please, Ajax...”

His arms tightened protectively “Anything for you, my love”

[mickey-henry]

𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐜𝐤𝐲

pairing: bucky barnes x reader

summary: bucky’s been flirting with you, but hasn’t taken it further than that. frustrated, you decide to take matters into your own hands.

word count: 2.1k

warnings: occasional swearing (but not much) and frustrating flirting (I’d be melting if it was happening to me). besides that, this fic is pure fluffy fun.

author’s note: hello there! this is my second fic; I’m very excited to post it! I found the header image here, and if you want to listen to the song I reference in this fic, you can listen here. bold text indicates singing, while italicized text refers to inner thoughts. likes, reblogs, messages, replies, and comments are cherished! I hope you like it! 💖

Bucky Barnes is an acquaintance at best. The two of you rarely work together, and with conflicting schedules, you see little of each other around the compound. On a random Friday in April, however, something changes in you. The moment is nothing out of the ordinary. You’re sitting on the couch in the main living space, re-reading one of your favorite books. Bucky has just returned from a mission; you glance up to see his exhausted expression. He catches your eye, winking with a smile, before walking to his room. Your heart flutters and your head freezes at the response. “Oh, no,” you think to yourself. “Maybe that was a one-time thing? I don’t actually like him, right?” Wrong. 

Ever since that night, the mere presence of Bucky Barnes drives you crazy: his stunning blue eyes that squint ever so slightly when he smiles, his adorable nose that crinkles when he laughs, his pillowy lips that you lose yourself in, his  fluffy hair you can’t help but imagine running your fingers through, his scruff speckled jawline that you wish would brush along your hands, cheeks, anywhere really. He occupies your dreams; you can’t escape this man even if you try. Today, he drives you crazier than usual. He stands in the compound's kitchen in a tight black t-shirt, one that leaves nothing to the imagination. This is the first time you’ve seen him in short sleeves, in anything other than tactical gear. You can’t help but stare as he prepares his lunch. The shirt hugs his frame tight, accentuating his biceps that had no right to be that big. “Gosh, he must spend hours in the gym to look like that.” You then notice the vein in his right arm protruding from his skin, tracing it with your eyes. You didn’t think he could become any more beautiful, but here he is before you, incredible as ever. 

You’re pulled from your reverie when Bucky calls your name. “Yeah?” you reply, barely masking the startled stutter in your voice.

“Pass me the salt?”

“Oh! Sure, of course,” you muster, taking a sip of water from the glass in front of you as you hand him the salt shaker. 

“Thanks, doll,” he flirts with a smile, the same one he gave you that night when he got back to the compound. You nearly choke. “Bucky Barnes called me a term of endearment?!? Holy shit.” Your heart swells and you look down at your glass in a desperate attempt to hide the blush creeping its way across your cheeks. “Goodness gracious, I respond this way from a simple word?” You couldn’t imagine how you’d feel if he touched you. 

It didn’t take long to find out. The following day, you stand in the kitchen prepping your lunch, singing softly along to the song playing from your phone. Bucky appears soon after. He stands close to you for a moment, closer than necessary, but of course you don’t mind. He has just showered; his cologne lingers in the air, intoxicating you. Somehow, you keep singing along, showing no sign that your mind is elsewhere. 

“Ugh, he smells amazing. This man has too much power over me; this is ridiculous! I don’t even remember what I was doing—”

“You have a beautiful voice,” he compliments.

“Thank you, Bucky,” you softly reply, your heart racing at his praise.

“Let me get by you real fast, doll,” he says, moving to walk behind you. 

“There he goes again with the pet name. My god, could this get any worse—” 

He places his hands gently on your hips as he moves beside you. Electricity travels through your whole body; you’re internally screaming at his touch. His hands feel better than you imagined. Even though the contact lasts only a moment, the effects of his touch linger after, leaving you speechless. 

You hear a musical chuckle from the man behind you. “Is he teasing me? It sure feels like it,” you wonder. There is no way that he can’t see the effect he has on you. Before you can even formulate another thought, he touches you again as he moves back to the other side of you. “That was definitely on purpose; certainly he wouldn’t do this by accident. Right?”

Your eyes linger as he finishes putting together his lunch. He catches your gaze and smiles. “See you later, sweetheart,” he says with a wink before leaving the room. “Okay, that answers my question; that was very intentional. What am I going to do with myself?”

You don’t know how much longer you can take his teasing. Throughout the week, he ups his antics, calling you pet names more than your own, stealing touches whenever he can get away with it, smiling whenever you make eye contact. The tension is insatiable; thoughts of Bucky follow you everywhere. You decide to take matters in your own hands; Bucky did not seem to be planning to make a move anytime soon. If he is going to tease the hell out of you, you might as well get some payback. 

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Tony’s announcement of Friday night karaoke gives you a wicked idea. However, for it to work, you need to recruit help. You know just who to ask. It doesn’t take long to find Sam and Steve; they spent a ton of their free time sparring in the gym. They seem to be at the end of their workout, their movements slow and sloppy, relying on witty retorts to throw off the other. They stop when they notice your arrival. 

“Hey!” Sam says with a smile, hugging you as you approach. You squeeze him tightly, even with his sticky sweat coating his arms. You greet Steve with a hug too.

“What brings you to our neck of the woods?” Steve asks as you let go.

“Can I ask you guys something? And you promise you two won’t laugh at me? Especially if I'm reading this wrong?”

“Of course,” answers Steve. 

“Yeah, for sure,” replies Sam. 

You hesitate for a second, taking a deep breath. “Does Bucky like me? I swear he does. He keeps teasing me, and I don’t know how much longer I can take it. I think I am practically in love with the guy at this point, he’s so beautiful and—”

You stop as the boys exchange glances and begin laughing. 

You cross your arms, hurt. “You said you wouldn’t laugh at me! I can’t control how I feel.”

“No! Wait! We aren’t laughing at you!” Steve says between giggles. 

You furrow your brows. “Then why are you laughing?”

“Bucky’s obsessed with you,” Steve answers after calming his laughter. 

“God, yes, you’re all he talks about nowadays,” Sam adds. 

“What?! He does? Why? Are you shitting me right now? Because that would be really freaking mean—“

“No! Of course not,” Steve insists. “Don’t you see the way he looks at you?”

“And the pet names he gives you?” Sam adds.

“And how he can’t seem to keep his hands to himself lately?” Steve finishes. 

Now you feel stupid for even asking. Of course you noticed all of those things. They were all you ever thought about. “Well, yeah, but maybe he does that with all the girls.”

“What girls?” Sam retorted. “The only women who are here often enough to cross paths with him are you, Natasha, and Wanda. Wanda’s with Vision, as weird as that is, but love is love. Natasha shoots daggers at anyone who looks at her with love in their eyes. That leaves you.”

“Why in the world would he like me? Of all people? He’s out of my league,” you sigh,

Sam’s scoff pulls you from your thoughts. “Bucky? Out of your league? He’s a crazy ex-assassin with emotional issues! If anything, he's out of your league.”

“You’re a catch, why wouldn’t he like you?” Steve assures.

Steve and Sam always know just what to say to make you feel better. “I guess you’re right,” you admit with a defeated grin. 

“So, you know how Bucky feels. What are you going to do about it?” Steve asks. 

“I have an idea, but I need your help.”

“We’re listening.”

You divulge your plan to them. They smile, hyping you up. 

“Dude, I’m so down!” Sam exclaims, clapping his hands in excitement. 

“You think this will work?”

“Definitely,” Steve assures. “This is going to be amazing!”

“Okay then, we’re doing this. Let’s go find Bucky. Time to initiate phase one.”

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky is sitting on the common room couch, flipping through a book when he sees you, Sam, and Steve enter. He exchanges a glance with you, smiling as your eyes light up. The three of you sit down. You’re sitting next to Sam, closer than usual. There’s a brief moment of silence before you speak. “Sam, are you going to karaoke night?”

“Of course! Wouldn’t miss everyone’s drunk-ass singing for the world.”

“Will you be my duet partner?”

This catches Bucky’s attention. He looks up from his book. Why the hell were you asking Sam to sing with you? You normally ask the girls...

“Sure thing, baby. It’ll be a ton of fun!” Sam smiles. 

Baby?! What?! How dare he call you a pet name, his girl, right in front of him? Well, you may not be his girl yet, but Sam knows how he feels about you. What the hell is he thinking?

“Yay! This’ll be so fun!” You hug him, grabbing his hand before continuing, “Wanna practice with me in a bit?”

“Find me when you’re ready, sweetheart,” Sam answers, kissing your knuckle before letting go of your hand. 

Sweetheart?! What the fuck was going on? Did he miss his shot? Would Sam really do that to him? Bucky can barely handle his swirling thoughts. He storms out of the room without looking back. 

Steve can’t help but laugh once Bucky is out of earshot. “That worked a little too well, wouldn’t you say so?”

“That wasn’t too far, was it?” you ask with a worried expression on your face. 

“Nah, don’t worry about it. He’ll just come on even stronger now. He won’t give up on you that easily,” Sam assures you. 

───────────── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ･ ─────────────

Bucky can barely contain his anger as you step on the stage with Sam, giggling and smiling at your karaoke partner. Jealousy engulfs him. He can barely listen to the start of the song, ignoring the catchy beat blasting through the speakers. He doesn’t recognize the song, but looks up from his drink when you sing, “Hey Bucky boy, what you doing tonight? I wanna see what you got in store."

He looks right at you. Did she just say Bucky?

Sam echoes, “Hey, hey Bucky!” Well, that answers his question.

“You're giving it your all when you're dancing on me. I want to see if you can give me some more,” you continue, twirling your fingers through your hair.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“You can be my man, I can be your girl, and we can pump this jam however you want,” you sing, swaying your hips to the cadence of the lyrics.

“Hey, hey Bucky!”

“Pump it from the side, pump it upside down, or we can pump it from the back and the front,” you wink as you finish the line. Bucky sits up suddenly, crossing his legs, his face turning beet red. You smile, knowing the plan was working. Steve laughs from beside him. He keeps his eyes glued on you as the two of you continue the song, utterly entranced. You look him right in the eye as you end the song, “I want you tonight.”

You saunter over to where he is sitting after high-fiving Sam, confidence filling your chest. “So, what did you think of my performance, Bucky?”

You yelp as he grabs your hips and pulls you down to sit on his lap. His voice deepens, “you’re such a tease, you know that right?”

You laugh. “I’m the tease? Really? You’re the one who just pulled me onto your lap and taunts me with flirtatious remarks and smiles all freaking day. My god Bucky, make a move already—”

He cuts you off, pulling you in for a kiss, his flesh arm grabbing the back of your neck. The team whoops and cheers. 

“Glad you finally made a move, Bucky,” you pant as your lips part from his.

“Best decision I ever made in my life, doll.” Before you can respond, he kisses you again, the karaoke bar fading in the background as you finally embrace the man of your dreams.

[soft--dragon]

You'll Smile Again

Word Count: 2,699

Warnings: Beginnings of a panic attack, anxiety, and facial dysmorphia mention (stay safe guys <3)

All interactions are platonic, don't you dare start shipping

This is a SFW tickle fic, if you don’t like that then don’t read :)

It was going to be a bad day.

Ranboo knew the second he woke up, it was gonna be bad. His head was swimming and his body felt numb and cold despite the blankets thrown over him. The silence was suffocating, too loud and too quiet at the same time. He curled in on himself, wrapping his arms around his middle tightly. It somewhat helped his building nausea, but it was fruitless in an attempt to recreate the feeling of a comforting hug. One sounded nice round about now.

He dreaded the idea of having to get up and being forced to look at a reflective surface, so he stayed on the couch, curled tight and wishing he could fall back asleep and wake up tomorrow. Sleeping away the day until he felt like he could stand and wouldn't keel over. Unfortunately, his mind was far too aware of the morning light streaming through the windows and the hunger rumbling through his stomach. Ranboo let out a pained sound, squeezing his eyes shut and shoved down the need to cry.

It was fine. It was fine. He...he was fine…he...

He wanted Tubbo.

Ranboo swallowed back a sob and blindly scrabbled at the cushions for his phone. His Luca wallpaper greeted him in a painful sear of light. He squeezed his eyes shut against the brightness and quickly opened his phone with his finger print. His contact list had come up before he realized what he was doing, clicking on Tubbo’s name and soon enough, the dialing sound met his ear. Instead of hearing the ringtone through their shared home like he was used to, it remained horribly quiet.

“Boo?” Tubbo’s voice suddenly came through the speaker. “Hey, I was about to call you actually, I was thinking about the vlog Tommy’s wanting to do and I wanted to get your opinions on some stuff-”

“Tubbo- w-where are you?”

There was a long pause on the other line, Ranboo’s slightly keyed up voice catching the older boy’s attention immediately.

“On my way to Nottingham big man...remember?”

Ranboo’s heart sank and he wanted to kick himself for being such an idiot. Tubbo had warned him last night he was leaving early in the morning, saying he may be gone by the time Ranboo woke up. “O-Oh...right…”

There was a rustling noise, no doubt Tubbo sitting up in his seat. “Are you okay? Do you need me to come back?”

“N-No, no” Ranboo quickly replied, wishing he’d had enough sense to think before calling his best friend, now he was inconveniencing him with his stupid problems. He squeezed his eyes shut and released a breath before attempting to speak again. “I’m okay- and anyway, Tommy’s been planning this meet up for weeks, he’d be gutted if you cancelled, he spent so much time making your schedules line up, and you’re probably already there-”

“Ranboo.”

Tubbo’s firm, unwavering voice made Ranboo’s ramblings catch in his throat, he shut his mouth with a sharp click of his jaw, hand gripping the phone shaking slightly.

“Y-Yeah?” He mumbled.

Tubbo sighed, worried but fond. “You know I’d drop anything to make sure you’re okay, right? And Tommy would understand, he knows about your anxiety and facial dysmorphia.”

The need to cry returned hard and fast, Ranboo just managed to catch himself before releasing a whine. “I’ll be okay Tubbo,” he whispered, “promise, I’m...I just need to…”

He was silent for too long, Tubbo waiting worriedly on the other side. “Boo?”

“Don’t cancel on Tommy, I’ll just take a rest day” Ranboo answered, fighting to keep his voice level. “You don’t need to worry about me.”

“Ran-”

“Toby.”

The use of Tubbo’s real name made the older teen fall silent. Ranboo practically never said it.

“I said I’ll be okay.” Ranboo knew it was ironic to say that while on the verge of breaking down but he couldn’t do this to Tubbo, not today. “Just go enjoy your time with Tommy, alright? I’ll be fine.”

Tubbo was quiet. It made Ranboo’s stomach roll uncomfortably the longer the silence stretched out. Then there was a sigh.

“The second you feel worse, I want you to call me. And I don’t care-” Tubbo cut him off before he could even protest, “-if you’re worried about disrupting me, call me, got it?”

How on earth Tubbo could be a chaotic gremlin to a sincere steady presence on the go was still a mystery to the tall teen. Ranboo let out a long, shuddering sigh as he pressed himself close to the couch.

“Okay” he agreed quietly.

“Okay” Tubbo repeated, quiet and kind. “Do you want me to stay on the call for a bit boss man?”

His thoughts immediately hissed at him, heart clenching at the thought of Tubbo having to listen to his pathetic whining-

“Ranboo.”

Tubbo’s voice cut through the haze of his toxic thoughts like a knife, yanking him back to the present. He had to clear his throat, shaking himself to properly answer. “Y-Yeah?”

“Did you hear me?”

Ranboo hugged his middle tighter with his free arm and hummed non committedly.

Tubbo softened his voice again. “I can stay if you want me to, I’m still half an hour from Nottingham.”

Ranboo squeezed his eyes shut. “Please?”

Tubbo immediately started talking, switching the subject to something more light hearted, a story about the time he hung out with Tommy and Wilbur. It got a few smiles and even a soft laugh out of Ranboo which Tubbo silently counted as a victory. He kept up the stream of chatter, allowing Ranboo to relax further and further into the couch, the tight constrictions in his chest easing up a bit. Tubbo never ran out of stories to tell, keeping his voice quiet but not without the same level of excitement that kept Ranboo immersed. He could almost pretend Tubbo was sitting on the floor beside the couch like he always did when Ranboo was having a bad day, keeping his mind distracted and heart light.

It seemed cruel when Ranboo faintly heard a whistle blow in the background of Tubbo’s end.

“Oh, I’m here” Tubbo’s voice was surprised.

Ranboo’s stomach rolled at his words, brow creasing as he knew that meant Tubbo had to leave. Still, he steeled his voice and tried to sound as calm as possible. “Better go then huh?”

Tubbo made a soft noise. “It’s not too late to cancel you know? I can still come home Boo, I don’t mind.”

Ranboo wanted to say yes, he wanted to say yes but he couldn’t do that. No. He refused to let himself ruin this meet up when Tommy and Tubbo seemed so excited to plan it out. “I’ll be fine.”

Tubbo didn’t sound convinced. “You sure?”

Ranboo huffed an exasperatedly fond laugh. “Yeah, I’ll be good Tubs.”

It was quiet again, dragging out until Tubbo sighed heavily. “Alright, I’ll stop hover parenting, just remember what I said okay?”

“I’ll call you” Ranboo murmured.

“You better” Tubbo growled but it wasn’t mean, instead sounding protective. “I mean it boo.”

Ranboo let a small smile lift his lips. “I know you do, I promise.”

There was more shuffling then Tubbo sighed, grumbling about a bag being too heavy or something. “Okay good, I am gonna be texting you to check in just so you know, and I’ll call later if you feel up to it. Um, I’ll let my parents know it’s a bad day and not bother you unless you text them- wait they’re out, so is Lani and Teagan, okay uh- Rocky is home, you need a hug, get him, he’s good at comforting people-”

Ranboo chuckled despite himself. “What was that about not hover parenting anymore?”

“Oh shut up” Tubbo laughed, only making Ranboo’s grin widen. “I’m just looking out for one of my best mates.”

It was how easily he said it that made Ranboo feel warm from the platonic affection. “I know...thank you.”

There was a fond huff. “Anytime at all Ranboo.”

After another moment of silence, Ranboo sighed with a small smile. “Go, the gremlin child is waiting.”

“Yeah yeah, I know, I’ll talk to you later Boo, try not to let your head mess with you too bad, okay?”

“I can try.”

“Love you.”

Ranboo smiled, his heart warming at the words. “Love you too.”

The call ended, blanketing the warm room in a cold silence again. Ranboo dragged a hand over his face with a deep sigh. Tubbo really was good at making him feel better-

His stomach growled.

Ah right, breakfast was a thing.

Ranboo pointedly ignored looking at anything that could show him his face. Tubbo had managed to yank him out and over the hurdle this morning, so he was determined not to let the boy’s efforts go to waste. He grabbed what he needed from the kitchen before retreating back to the couch and crashing onto the plush surface. He had meant to stay and do work on his new video for YouTube and plan out a new stream idea, but with his current state, he decided to take on that rest day he promised Tubbo. He threw on Luca, finding it was quickly becoming one of his comfort films and chewed slowly on his breakfast, wrapped up in the blanket again and becoming one with the couch. He tried to ignore the quiet loneliness despite the film, he was used to hearing chaotic laughter and batshit ramblings throughout the house. He shoved down the need to call Tubbo, he was fine. He...he didn’t need his friend... not yet at least.

He could handle being alone for a few hours.

Luca and Alberto were testing out their Vespa when an old, grouchy meow came through the house. Ranboo lifted his head from where he was now lying on the couch to see Rocky, Tubbo’s family cat, sauntering over.

“Hey Rocks” Ranboo smiled at the feline.

With a greeting “mrrp”, Rocky leapt gracefully onto the couch, stepping onto his chest and immediately slammed his face directly into Ranboo’s. It startled a laugh from the teen as the cat continued to smudge against him happily, purrs rumbling from his throat. He had avoided touching his face that morning the best he could, the sudden affection towards it was surprising, but not unwelcome.

“Hi buhud” Ranboo tried to lean away but Rocky persisted, clearly attention starved after not seeing anyone for a few hours. His whiskers skimmed across Ranboo’s cheeks softly, making him giggle and try to turn his head away. However, Rocky was determined to give Ranboo affection and instead rubbed under his jaw, his ginger fur dragging under his chin.

“Ohoho noho- Rohocks!” Ranboo squealed, quickly turning his head down to keep his chin pressed to his chest, trying to block the cat from brushing against the area.

Rocky gave a happy meow and pressed his forehead into Ranboo’s own, purring deeply now that he had access to his full face again. Ranboo giggled quietly, basking in the affection.The soft fur and loving touches on his face was comforting in its own way. It also tickled a bit, he didn’t even know his face was ticklish but apparently Rocky seemed determined to show him it was.

“Rohocky h-hahang ohon” Ranboo squeaked as the cat rubbed against his cheek, his whiskers just tracing his ear and nose. He melted further into the couch, the light sensations made him want to squirm but he couldn’t move without jostling Rocky, and the last thing he wanted to do was upset the cat. His hands were confined to the inside of the blanket, making him unable to fend off the ticklish touches even if he wanted to. He simply lay there, shifting his head around a little but enjoying the affection nonetheless. It was a nice change from the cold loneliness that had settled over the room before.

Eventually, Rocky seemed satisfied with his work on Ranboo’s face and brought his head back, not without giving Ranboo’s nose a small lick. It made Ranboo snort, grinning up at the ginger cat that almost looked smug.

“You done?” Ranboo chuckled.

Rocky meowed, probably saying ‘yes’, then moved down Ranboo’s torso, sitting on his stomach. He sniffed the blanket then started pawing at it, rearranging the folds carefully. Unfortunately, with where he was sitting, Rocky was massaging into Ranboo’s stomach and ribs gently.

It caused the teen to melt into the cushions, pressing his cheek into the back of the couch and giggling wildly into the plush material. “Nohoho Rohocks- ehehehehe!”

Rocky dug his claws softly into Ranboo’s side, massaging his sides in a kneading motion. Ranboo squeezed his eyes shut, happy giggles spilling free. Laughing felt so nice after wallowing in misery for the whole day, the tickling soft and while unintentional, was still nice.

Ranboo suddenly squealed, curling in on himself slightly as one of Rocky’s paws lightly brushed over his lower belly. The cat paused, ears flicking as Ranboo broke into a fit of breathy titters. He then purred and focused on his lower belly, taking the laughter for a sound of joy.

Ranboo managed to wrench a hand free of the blankets, pressing it to the back of his mouth to muffle his squeaky giggles. “Rohohockehehey! Ohoho gohohosh- whihihiy?”

The cat only responded with a pleased meow, shifting his paws to the sides of Ranboo’s stomach. Ranboo’s hand suddenly dropped from his pink cheeks to gently cup Rocky’s back in an attempt to bear the sensations. His plan was flawed however, as Rocky turned his head and rubbed his cheek against Ranboo’s thumb, his whiskers dragging over the back of it and making Ranboo squeak in laughter. All the while, still kneading the blanket.

“Noho- cohohome ohohon Rohohocks-” Ranboo whined but his soft laughter was happy and Rocky seemed to understand that as he purred gaily.

Rocky’s paws went to knead at his lower ribs, slow and methodical and keeping Ranboo in a state of giggly hysteria. He squirmed lightly from the sensations, trying not to jostle Rocky too much. He was surprised at his own resolve to stay still, the most extreme reaction so far being lightly kicking his feet when Rocky stayed in a sensitive area for too long. Rocky was almost too good at pulling reactions from him though, listening to when he giggled quietly or loudly, what made him move more and what made him melt. It wasn’t long before Rocky was keeping his pawing at the middle of his stomach, slow and gentle, keeping Ranboo laughing softly, not uncontrollably.

A few minutes of the gentle massaging made Ranboo sleepy and warm, relaxing into the touch and releasing breathy giggles. He still craved a hug, he’d ask Tubbo when he got back, but Rocky’s repetitive, and slightly ticklish touch had soothed him into a blissful peace. It was so much better than the toxic battle in his head that kept him feeling weighed down. Cats were pog, what more needed to be said?

Rocky then slowed to a stop, sniffing at Ranboo’s hoodie for a moment before nuzzling the material adoringly. The feline waddled back up Ranboo’s chest and lay down, tucking his paws underneath his body. He then lowered his head and shoved it underneath Ranboo’s chin, purring happily. Ranboo giggled as the cat’s whiskers brushed across his neck and jaw again, finding himself relaxing into the affectionate touch easily. Tubbo was right, Rocky was good at comforting people. He owed the cat a lot of treats and hours of cuddles.

He gently pressed his chin into Rocky’s head affectionately. “Thanks Rocks” he murmured.

The feline gave a quiet ‘mrrp’, making Ranboo giggle again. He let his eyes slip closed, melting into the couch and sighing in contentment. The audio of Luca, and Rocky’s rhythmic purring made his drowsiness catch up to him, his sleep schedule was gonna be messed up tonight but he couldn’t bring himself to care. He felt lighter than he had that morning, and Rocky was warm and grounding, made him feel loved.

Ranboo fell asleep with a smile on his face.

[jaehyunfirstlove]

Can you write a smut in which Jaehyun is one of the members boss and y/n is their girlfriend but jaehyun took a liking on her and he became a little too obsessed with her. So he sabotaged the members into making y/n sleeping with him (maybe because she loves her boyfriend too much that she would do anything for him)

Pairing: boss!jaehyun x f.reader

Genre: smut (18+ only)

Warnings: infidelity, fingering, protected sex, spanking, slight degradation?

Word count: 1.8k

A/N: i dialed down the intensity of this request, i'm so sorry, but i'm not too comfortable writing jaehyun like that (sorry!), having said that, obvs 'immoral' things happen (pls remember this is only fiction!)

“I can’t leave anytime soon, sorry Y/N.”

You heaved a deep sigh on the phone with your boyfriend, Mark. It was the fourth day in a row that he had canceled plans with you, citing a busy workload that needed his attention. It was his first ‘real’ job outside of college, and you knew he was trying to make a good impression, but he’d been working there a month now and stayed late almost every day. His boss sounded really demanding, and you couldn’t help but think he was taking advantage of Mark’s eagerness as a recent college graduate.

“Tell Mr. Jeong he’s an ass and that he needs to let you have a life outside of work,” you grumbled, but Mark just laughed humorlessly.

“You tell him that, no one here puts a foot wrong because they’re scared of him.”

You rolled your eyes, hating the idea of a man with that much power, taking advantage of people below him. “Ridiculous,” you scoffed, “he can’t be that scary.”

“You’ve never met Jeong Jaehyun,” Mark replied ominously.

---

The next day you decided to see for yourself, showing up at Mark’s office unannounced. He was flustered at seeing you there, and when you told him you wanted to meet his boss he got even more panicky, his eyes going comically wide and his mouth opening in shock.

“No!” he protested, putting his hands up in front of you, “no, you can’t do that! It’s not gonna happen!”

“What’s not gonna happen?” A deep voice said from behind him. Mark turned his head slowly, a look of pure terror on his face.

“Oh Mr. Jeong!” he bowed deeply, and you finally got a good look at Mark’s boss. He was tall and slim, his bespoke three piece suit fitting him perfectly. His hair was beautifully coiffed, pulled back with just a strand falling onto his forehead. His face was stern, but when he caught sight of you something flashed across his face, before he settled into a practiced smile.

“Oh, I believe we haven’t met,” he brushed past Mark’s bent figure and extended his hand to you, “I’m Jeong Jaehyun, and you are?”

“Mark’s girlfriend,” you responded drily, crossing your arms in front of your chest. Behind Mr. Jeong, you could see Mark’s panicked face as he waved his arms at you, signaling you to stop. You ignored him.

Mr. Jeong smiled widely, clearly appreciating your boldness. His smile brought out the most delightful dimples, you couldn’t help but notice, and you shook your head trying to fight the attraction to your boyfriend’s boss.

“What brings you here today, Mark’s girlfriend?” he asked cheekily, eyes dancing with amusement.

Mark was now begging, putting his hands together in a pleading gesture, but still you ignored him. “Just wondering what kind of sweatshop you’re running here, Mr. Jeong. You know, everyone working late with no overtime pay…”

He smirked, while behind him Mark slapped a hand onto his forehead. You were aware you were playing with fire, very well risking Mark getting fired, but you couldn’t help it. You’d always been a shit-disturber.

“I’ll tell you what, Mark’s girlfriend, how about we step into my office and discuss this in private?” he was smiling, but there was an edge to his voice and a dark look in his eyes. You shrugged, following behind him to his office while everyone, including Mark, stared at you in fear.

---

“Close the door,” he commanded with a wave of his hand, and despite your aversion to people telling you what to do, you obeyed him. Something in his tone of voice made you comply without question.

“So you have a problem with how I run things here?” he didn’t turn to you, didn’t look at you, just moved slowly to his desk and took a seat. You swallowed drily, the effect he was having on you both baffling and intense. You were exhilarated by his commanding presence, by the deep baritone of his voice, by the way he was staring at you now, eyes deep and dark and boring into your very soul.

“Perhaps…” you said, somewhat unsure of yourself now.

The corners of his lips turned up into a smirk, probably fully aware of his effect on people. He knew he had you, and he was going to use that to his full advantage.

“Well I should probably fire Mark for that little outburst you had just now, in front of my entire staff,” he tapped his pen on the table, eyebrows furrowing as he regarded you.

“Please don’t,” you whispered, internally shocked and angry with yourself that you were caving to this man. But he had gotten up from his chair, walking towards where you were standing near the door, unbuttoning his suit jacket as he got closer. It was a simple act, just walking, just unbuttoning, but the way he did it sent a thrill down your spine. He stopped maybe a foot away, close enough that the heady scent of his cologne invaded your senses.

“I can’t look like a weak boss,” he said, his voice gruff as he put his hands on his hips and towered over you, clearly trying to be intimidating. “So tell me what you’ll do for me so I won’t fire your boyfriend.”

You didn’t realize it but your chest was heaving, his effect on you so maddening. Despite yourself, your eyes roamed over his body, stopping at the obvious bulge in his pants. You looked away quickly and he smiled devilishly.

“I think I can work with that,” he said seductively, leaning his face close to yours. “I have a proposition for you then, Mark’s girlfriend.”

Your head snapped back to him, eyes going wide as you knew exactly what he was going to propose. “What is it?” you had to ask, hoping he wasn’t going to ask what you think he was going to ask, but worse, hoping that he would.

He leaned close to whisper in your ear. “You let me fuck you right here in my office, and I’ll let your boyfriend keep his job.”

Your entire body shuddered, from the heat of his breath against your ear, from the close proximity of his body, from the proposition that you had hoped, beyond your better judgment, he would offer. He stepped back after he said it, the absence of him leaving a tangible hole, and walked back to his desk, taking a seat. He was calm, cool, completely collected, as if he didn’t just proposition you to have sex with him so your boyfriend wouldn’t get fired.

“What do you say?” he asked breezily, “Do we have a deal?”

You could say no, and Mark would lose his job, but that wouldn’t be the worst of it. You knew Mark wanted to do well at this job, and you knew he would blame you if he lost it since you had made a scene accusing his boss of bad practices. You had put yourself in this situation and there was only one way out.

“Deal,” you nodded, your heart beating faster at what you had just agreed to. Mr. Jeong raised his eyebrows at you, and then broke into a dazzling smile.

“Smart girl,” he hummed, then motioned for you to come to him. You walked towards him, legs moving of their own accord, and when you were close enough he patted his knees. “Sit on my lap.”

You did as you were told, perching lightly on his knees, but he grabbed your waist and pulled you flush against him. You inhaled sharply when you felt his hard bulge rub against your ass.

“Thank you for wearing a skirt today,” he whispered slyly, his hands on your thighs, pushing your skirt up to your hips. You were breathing even more heavily now, your heart beating so fast you thought it would explode out of your chest. When his hands reached your core you held your breath. “Mm,” he hummed, fingers rubbing your slit over your panties, “you’re wet already, baby. Were you thinking of me, or Mark? Be honest, please.”

You started to pant, his fingers applying just enough pressure that it was making you crazy. “You, just you,” was all you could say, your body aching for more.

He tsked, shaking his head at you. “That’s naughty, baby, thinking of another man instead of your boyfriend.”

He was scolding you, but the sound of his voice and the way he made you feel so dirty just made you more aroused, your panties getting wetter by the second. He felt it, and he chuckled.

“You like that, I see? You like being naughty?”

You just nodded, moaning as he applied even more pressure. At the sound of your moan he suddenly shoved your panties aside, fingering your pussy bare.

“Damn, so wet,” he murmured, sliding his fingers up and down your slit, teasing you so deliciously your eyes brimmed with tears.

“Mr. Jeong,” you panted, “please…”

“What do you want, naughty girl? Hm?”

“More,” you whined, and he finally complied, plunging his fingers into your wet hole.

You arched your back, your head falling onto his shoulder as he pumped his fingers inside of you. His fingers were longer than Mark’s, hitting you in that spot that made your toes curl so fast and so easily that you already felt the knot in your stomach forming.

“You gonna come for me, dirty girl, come on another man’s fingers?” His voice was so deep and so husky in your ear that it made you come, your body shaking and thighs coming together to trap his hand. When you were done he pushed you off of him slightly so he could pull his cock out, and since you had your back to him you couldn’t see what he was doing. You heard a plastic packet rip, realizing he was putting a condom on, then he was pulling you back onto him.

“Turn around,” he commanded, “I want to watch your face as I fuck you.”

Your brain was hazy with your orgasm but you would’ve complied either way, and you turned around so you could straddle him, your legs on either side of his hips.

“That’s a good girl,” he hummed, “so naughty, yet so good for me.”

His praise made heat flood your body, and then he was positioning his cock for you to sink down onto it. You took him in, sinking down on him slowly, feeling him stretch you unlike anyone had ever done before. Your breath caught in your throat, your hands gripping his shoulders as you finally took him all the way in.

“Oh fuck,” you cried, biting your lip to keep from screaming as the pleasure from his cock filling you spread throughout your entire body. You started to move your hips, and the feeling of his cock dragging in and out of you made you throw your head back. “Oh fuck,” you repeated it like a mantra, unable to form anything more coherent than that.

“Mm, you’re so good, baby,” he cooed, holding onto your hips as you rode him, “your pussy feels so good. Mark’s a lucky guy.”

You were aware you probably should have felt shame, but the way his cock felt inside you was too good, igniting every pleasure center in your brain. The only thing you could concentrate on was how it felt as his cock spread you apart.

“Your cock feels so good,” you moaned, thighs burning as you chased your high. You gripped harder onto his shoulders as your orgasm started to build, and he watched your face with a look of smug satisfaction.

“You’re gonna come again, baby?” he asked, his hand coming around to smack your ass. You cried out but it also made your pussy clench, and he was clearly delighted with the discovery. “I should’ve known you liked getting spanked, since you’re a naughty girl,” he smirked, smacking your ass even harder. You whimpered, pussy clenching again, and that flipped something inside him. He grabbed a hold of your hips, eyes hooded as he started to rut up into you.

You wanted to scream, his cock hitting so deep and so hard into you it was making you delirious. You put your hand to your mouth, stifling the whimpers that came out instead, your entire body bouncing at the force of his hips thrusting up into you.

“That’s it, baby,” he encouraged, his voice rough, “take my cock like the naughty girl you are.”

You came with a soundless scream, your mouth falling open as your fingers dug into his shoulders. Your legs shook as your pussy clenched hard around him, and he groaned but continued to fuck into you.

“Naughty girl, you’re gonna make me come,” he growled, squeezing your hips hard with his hands as he came, with one last thrust that hit you so deep you lost all breath at the feeling. When he was done, he patted your thigh while looking up at you appreciatively.

“That was good, baby. I’m satisfied,” he said with a smile, “I’ll let your boyfriend keep his job.”

You sighed with relief, but the severity of what you’d just done suddenly hit you. Hastily you got off of him, fixing yourself up to look presentable before you stepped out of his office. Taking a deep breath you opened the door, only to catch sight of Mark looking at you expectantly. You smiled at him, trying not to give away what just happened in Mr. Jeong’s office, and gave a thumbs up. Mark broke into a relieved smile, just as Mr. Jeong stepped out of his office, coming to stand beside you.

“Mark, your girlfriend can be very persuasive,” he said casually, looking at you out of the corner of his eye, “because of her, there will be no more unpaid overtime.”

He winked at you before walking back into his office, as all the employees who heard cheered you, Mark coming up to you to give you a big hug.

“You’re awesome, Y/N, thank you so much,” he said, squeezing you in his arms.

Swallowing your guilt, you just smiled back. “I did my best.”

---

Thanks for 1.4k :)

[uncpanda]

Back to the Navy Yard: Part 6

Sypnopsis: Being the daughter of Leroy Jethro Gibbs wasn’t easy, but you made it work . . .right up until you decide to break away from the “safe” life plan and join the FBI. When your father and the family you’ve made stops talking to you, you find a new one with the BAU. But years later, when murders connected to you and your father start popping up, you’re forced to examine the past along side your fiance and unit-chief Aaron Hotchner, and soon to be step son Jack. Really, your whole world is up in the air.

Notes: Eli David and Jackie Vance are both alive, also the timeline between Ziva and Tony was sped up, because slow burn is only good for so long.

Master List

Jack is talking a mile a minute, and telling you about everything you missed in the past two days. He’s settled on your hip, his arms around your neck while you walk back to the cabin. Aaron’s hand, placed between your shoulder blades, is guiding you, and you take comfort in his body heat. 

You stop just short of the stairs, and get Jack’s attention, “Jack, these are some friends of mine. That’s my uncle Leon, and that’s my uncle Dwayne. And in the middle there,” you lower your voice to a whisper right next to his ear, “is my dad.” 

His eyes go comically wide, before he says, “Pop-pop.” 

You look your dad in the eyes, “Yep, that’s pop-pop.” 

There’s a look of wonder on your dad’s face. You don’t know if it’s seeing you with Jack on your hip, or hearing your son call him pop-pop, but a smile takes over, as he walks over to you. Jack smiles at him, waves, and says, “I’m Jack.” 

“It’s very nice to finally meet you Jack.” 

“Marmee says you like boats.” 

“Love boats.” 

“She says you build them.” 

“Sometimes.” 

Leon snorts, “He builds them all the time.” 

“Can I see it one day?” 

Your dad nods, “As long as it’s okay with your Dad and Mo.  . .Marmee.” 

You look back at Aaron who’s leaning against the porch rail, “We can bring him over when this is all done.” 

Jack beams, before he wiggles to be let down, and heads straight to your dad, “Do you like legos?” 

“Love legos.” 

Jack’s head turns to you and Aaron, “Can I play legos with Pop-Pop please.” 

Aaron’s smile is gentle, “Sure buddy. Why don’t you head inside and let Marmee show you around and I’ll get the bags.” 

Your dad watches him for a second before he says, “I’ll help.” 

You freeze at that and turn to say something before Aaron says, “We’ll be okay.” 

Your dad pauses beside you and lowers his voice, “He’s got a sidearm. He’s not defenseless.” 

“If you touch one hair on his head . . .” 

He snorts, “Something tells me he’s made of sterner stuff than your prom date.” 

You move inside, holding Jack’s hand and show him where everything is; the room you, he, and Aaron will be staying in, the bathroom, the kitchen, and a hiding spot in case things go bad. “So, if dad or I say we need you to work the case with us, you hide here. Okay?” 

He nods, and you can see the hint of fear in his eyes. Not for the first time you wonder if it’s time you and Aaron got out. You pull him to you for a hug and kiss the top of his head. You feel Dwayne and Leon studying you. 

You let Jack go after a second, and allow him time to explore, and head back over to Leon and Dwayne. Your uncle Dwayne has a goofy smile on his face. You raise an eyebrow, “What?” 

“You’re a mom.” It’s said with cheesy affection and a bit of wonder. As though he can’t believe you’ve moved from babydolls to the real thing. 

You take a deep breath, and nod, “Yep. And I love it. Laurel actually has some really good pictures of her and Jack together when she came up to DC last fall.” 

“Really?” 

“Yeah. Anytime we facetime, Jack is right there. He adores her, mainly because she gives him copious amounts of sugar anytime she comes to visit.” 

“You should bring him down to New Orleans. We’d show him a good time.” 

“Maybe when this is over.” 

You peer around them and out the window. Your dad and Aaron are nowhere to be seen. That makes you a little anxious.

Leon clears his throat to get your attention, “Jackie is going to love him, she’ll probably offer to babysit. She misses having smaller kids in the house.” 

You settle down on the arm of the couch, and find it a bit difficult to breathe, “Something we can explore.” 

Leon lifts an eyebrow, “You okay?” 

Your leg bounces, “I don’t know. Everything. . . it feels like two lives are melding and I’m not sure . . . For years now my team has been my family and my support system. Aaron’s sister-in-law from his first marriage watches Jack when we have to go on a case. We’re not used to big groups of people. And now . . .” 

“Now you have a bigger support system.” 

The words are said with a smile and sincerity, but you can’t help but ask, “Do we?” 

----

Aaron had learned about your father early on. You’d been with the team, maybe a year, when you’d been forced to shoot an unsub. He’d been firing at you and the team with a loaded gun and you had made the shot under an extreme amount of pressure. The bullet had torn right through the heart. 

You’d been fine . . . until you weren’t. He had found you with your head in a toilet and crying. He’d wrapped an arm around your shoulder, and pulled you to his chest. Your face had been filled with shock at the gesture before you had burrowed in. You had engaged in conversations, and you’d been unerringly kind to him, but like with most people, he had kept you at a distance. Until . . . he couldn’t? 

When the tears had dried, you had told him your story. Your voice had taken on a monotone that had scared him. “My dad taught me to shoot when I was ten years old. Used to take me to the range. It was always about self defense. If I knew how guns worked, if I knew what to do, I wouldn’t get hurt. It was never about attacking.” 

“It was still self defense. You saved members of our team.” 

“I know. But. . . here I am twenty three years old, and all I want is my dad, and he’s not talking to me.” 

“Is he anti government?” 

“He’s anti me being in danger. My dad is NCIS Special Agent Leroy Jethro Gibbs.” 

That had made him pause. He doubted anyone in the federal government hadn’t heard of Gibbs. The man had a success rate that made some agents salivate. He was also extremely old school, and last he heard his wife and child had died at the hands of a drug dealer for being willing to testify about his murdering a marine. You had quietly said, “I was the only survivor.” Those five words had sent a shiver down his spine, and he had thought, you seemed just as lonely as he did. 

He’d been in the middle of the divorce at the time; angry at the world, and doubting his own worth outside the bureau. The job was becoming his life, and one look at you and he could see you doing the same. Your dinners, coffee breaks, and what you had deemed hangout sessions had stemmed from a need for mutual understanding. 

The fact that you had been good with Jack and developed a friendship with Haley had further ingrained you into his life. More than once, Jack had been dropped off at the apartment so you, Haley, and Jess could meet for Margarita night. You always came back with some new story of his youth to tease him about.

One night, after margaritas, you had quietly admitted, “She makes me think of how Kelly would have turned out. She was my best friend, and I always wondered how she would have turned out.” 

Haley had cornered him a week after that and said, “You’d do well with her.” 

He had raised an eyebrow, “Marriage wise I mean. She’s good with Jack, I like her, and she’s dedicated to the job. You two would mesh well.” When he had started to protest, to detail how you were just friends, she had grabbed his face between his hands and said, “I love you Aaron, and I always will. You’re the father of my son, but I’m not in love with you anymore, just like you’re not in love with me.” She had let his face go, shrugged, and said, “Give it some thought.” That thought stayed with him through the changes in his life. Haley’s new boyfriend was nice, and Jack had liked him. And then Foyett had happened, and everything had fallen apart. 

He had been a little surprised about how much Haley and Jack’s absence had affected you as well. You had spent hours going through the information and trying to find Foyett with him. And when the two of you had failed. Months after Haley’s death Derek had told him that when Haley had made that call, you had listened to her instructions while you broke down in the back seat while Derek drove. And when she had called your name, and begged you to watch over Jack and Aaron, you had screamed. He still remembered you clutching Jack to your chest the moment you could, how you had taken him yourself to Jess, and put no less than three officers on them. 

You had stuck with him through it all; had simply been there for whatever he had needed. Your presence in the apartment had become a constant and the girls' nights with Jess had started again about six months after Haley’s death. Afterall, you both knew what it meant to lose a sister. 

About a year and a half after Haley’s death it had hit him, while he watched you cuddle with a sick Jack. The flu had hit the both of them hard, and you had come over to take care of them. After making sure he was hydrated, you had pulled Jack to you and sat with him cuddled on your chest for hours. It had hit him then, how much you loved Jack, how much you loved him, and how much he loved you. You were his best friend, his partner in the field, and he had a feeling you were meant to be his partner in life as well. He had asked you out a week later and the three of you had been joined at the hip ever since. 

And for that reason he knows you like the back of his hand. The two of you can communicate with only a look. It’s also how he knows about Gibbs, Shannon, and Kelly. It had taken a lot of time to get you to talk about them, and it had been more Jack’s doing than his. When he had found out about your mom and sister he had peppered you with questions. 

You had answered to the best of your abilities, but the truth was, you didn’t remember a ton about them. All you had was stories and a few memories. Your mothers’ parents had cut off contact after her death. They had blamed your father for it and Aaron had been reminded of Roy. 

He had asked you once, if he was similar to your father, and you had laughed. “You got help Aaron. You see a therapist once a week. You never fail to talk about Haley with Jack, and you made sure to get him into therapy too. You also allow him to live his life, and you recognize that you can’t protect him from everything. You also aren't scared to move on. You know that loving me, doesn’t mean you didn’t love Haley.” That speech had lifted a weight he hadn’t realized was weighing him down. He’d felt free for the first time in a long time. 

And now, staring at the famous Leroy Jethro Gibbs, he was very grateful for that. He had a life and love, and he wasn’t alone. He was willing to live, and wasn’t stuck in the past. And he couldn’t help but wonder if your little family couldn’t do the same for the stern looking man in front of him?  

[badassbuchanan]

No Goodbye

Part 2 Part 3

Plot: Bucky’s left to pick up the pieces of a broken heart

Warnings: you will cry, angst, this is very very sad, sweet Bucky

Word Count: 4295

A/N: decided to branch out and do a non-smut angsty fic - it’s my first one please be nice 💕

“Bucky?” Y/N’s voice whispered worriedly as she watched the small team walk back through the compound with their heads hung low. The long haired super soldier looked over at her with saddened eyes, his heart sinking when he saw the hopefully look on her face. 

Y/N’s hearted thudded against her chest, her bottom lip quivering as she watched the team look at her sympathetically. “Bucky, where’s Steve?” Worst case scenarios fled through her mind as she noticed the heartbreak in Bucky’s eyes, she’d never seen her boyfriend’s best friend look so sad.

Bucky’s eyes closed for a moment too long, the raw emotion in her voice breaking his heart. He felt tears begin welling up in his eyes, knowing he had to be the one to break the news. He let out a deep sigh, trying to steady his breathing and keep his sadness at bay as he braved a glance over at Y/N. 

“Steve’s gone, Y/N.” Bucky mumbled, hearing a whimper of pain leave the girl’s lips as she broke down in front of him. Her hands flew up to cover her mouth, loud sobs filling the room as Bucky flinched in weakness, he couldn’t stand to see her like this. “He’s not coming back, Doll.” He was still trying to process the fact himself, saying it out loud only made it that much more real.

“No,” She shook her head in denial, tears streaming down her face as Bucky let his head fall back to conceal his tears. He started walking towards her, only knowing too well how hard it was to lose Steve. “No, Bucky, he promised.” 

“I know,” Bucky blew out shakily as he tugged her almost lifeless body towards him, wrapping his arms around her tightly as she sobbed against his chest. He sighed solemnly when he felt her hands clinging to the material of his t-shirt, her tears soaking through the thin material and onto his chest. “I know, Doll.”

Bucky knew more than anyone how it felt to have a promise broken by Steve. Bucky had just had to say goodbye to his childhood best friend, but Y/N had just lost the love of her life. 

She’d fallen for Steve the first day she met him. He was like a prince in a world full of frogs. She didn’t know if it was a forties thing, or a Steve thing, but he was everything she’d ever dreamed of. Steve loved Y/N just as much, she was his little piece of light in a cruel world. She reminded him of what was important and made him feel like part of him was still normal.

Shhh.” Bucky soothed her quietly, squeezing his eyes shut tightly as he rested his chin against the top of her head. Her head began to spin, trying to process what was happening as she cried helplessly against Bucky’s chest. “It’s gunna be okay.” Bucky breathed out shakily, repeating the words that Steve had said to him before he left, hoping it would somehow calm her down. Although right now, he didn’t even believe those words himself.

———

It had been a few weeks, but the days seemed to all blur into one for Y/N. She didn’t leave her room unless it was to run errands, but even then, she avoided everyone. She felt so out of place, like everywhere she was, it was wrong. It didn’t matter if she was making a cup of tea in the kitchen, reading a book in the living room, taking a shower in the bathroom or trying to have a nap on her bed. It all seemed so wrong, like she shouldn’t be doing anything without Steve.

“I don't know who I am anymore, Buck.” She sighed numbly, her mind spaced out in mourning, her eyes damp with tears just as they had been every day before. Bucky was the only person she’d spoken to, and that was only because she knew he needed someone to talk to. Maybe he liked talking to her because she reminded him of Steve.

Bucky’s heart ached as he watched her face, so straight and emotionless. She was so broken, he heard her crying when no one else was around, especially at night. It was as if she was so tired of being in pain that her face was no longer able to show expression. 

“I think if anyone can relate to not knowing who they are, Y/N. It’s me.” He pursed his lips together in a sympathetic smile, leaning his hands against the edge of the mattress from where he sat on her bed. He watched her carelessly fold the clean washing, trying to harden the pain inside her heart. 

“Yeah and who helped you through that, Buck?” She hissed out sadly, angry at herself for still being so helpless and lost after weeks. She hadn’t said Steve’s name since the day she’d found out he’d gone. Bucky had noticed it, but he wasn’t sure if anyone else had. 

Bucky sighed as he tilted his head absentmindedly, he hated Steve for leaving him, but he hated him more for leaving her. A frown crinkled on her forehead as she concentrated on stopping her tears from escaping her eyes, letting out a quiet sniffle as she kept her eyes focused on the washing in front of her.

“God, I just feel so alone.” She sighed in frustration, throwing the pair of shorts she was folding down on the bed. Her eyes closed as she wrapped her arms around herself, a tear trickling down her cheek as she sniffed again. 

“You’re not alone, Doll.” Bucky whispered sadly, trying to be supportive as his eyes softened and he carefully reached his flesh arm out to hold her hand. 

“But I am, Buck.” She pulled away from his hand as soon as she felt it, the action so sudden it made Bucky jump as she took a step away from him. “You’ve got Sam and Sharon.” She gritted her teeth at the mention of the girl that Steve had once kissed, her hands balling up into fists out of frustration. “Pepper’s got Morgan, Clint has his family, Peter’s got May, Fury’s got Maria, T’Challa’s got Shuri. But who do I got?” Her lips trembled as she pressed them together in a hard pout, looking down at the space in front of her. “He was everything I had and now he’s gone.”

Bucky listened silently to her rant, hanging his head as his heart broke at the shakiness of her angry voice. He fiddled with his hands, he knew nothing he could say would make her feel better. All she wanted was Steve. 

“I don't even know why I’m still here.” She mumbled weakly, looking around the room that had once been filled with happy memories. It hurt, everything hurt. Living at the compound was a constant reminder of the life she had once shared with Steve. Her anger faded back to sadness as she closed her eyes tightly, breaking down in silent sobs as she thought about how they’d planned to spend their future together. They’d talked about it a lot. “When all this is over, we’ll move to Brooklyn. We’ll get married, pop out a couple of babies. Oh, and we have to get a dog.” The memory of Steve’s words caused an aching cry to leave her lips, his voice ringing through her mind as she felt her whole body go weak. “I can’t do this anymore.” 

Bucky’s watery eyes widened in panic at her words, his head immediately turning to her as he instinctively reached his arm out towards her again. She was too helpless to pull away this time, letting his strong hand pull her body into his lap as she collapsed against him. 

He was worried about how she was handing the process of grieving, knowing how much it had the power to manipulate thoughts. He didn’t want her doing anything stupid, anything irrational, anything harmful. He’d become so protective over her, knowing that she was the only other person who really understood what it was like losing Steve. Anytime she cried, Bucky was right there holding her.

“I’m sorry.” Bucky sobbed out, unable to control his emotions as he wrapped his arms around her, holding her as tight as he could. Y/N’s arms wrapped around his neck as she cried against him, a position she’d come to know so well. “I’m so sorry.” Bucky felt guilty, like he was the one responsible for Steve not coming back. He was there, he should’ve tried harder, said something to make Steve change his mind.

She whimpered against him, erratically breathing against his chest as she felt her throat closing up. The all too familiar feeling of heartache took over as her hand dropped to his metal arm, clinging to him tightly as she relaxed against his chest. 

Bucky rocked them back and forth lightly, trying to soothe her as he broke down. He rubbed her back with his flesh hand, his head dropping close to hers as he held her close. 

“I didn’t even get to say goodbye.” She sniffed sadly, her eyes puffy and cheeks red from the crying. Her face was lightly stained with red lines from where her tears had fallen, the salty liquid stinging her skin.

Bucky let out the breath he’d been holding in shakily, his heart aching at her words. Their burning cheeks touched as Bucky’s hand came up to massage the back of her head. He felt so responsible for Steve not coming back. “I’m sorry.” 

She stayed there in his arms, his chest rising and falling against her side as she closed her stinging eyes. She inhaled the scent of his cologne, feeling safe in his lap as her heartbeat began to steady itself. 

Bucky noticed the way her head pressed limply further against his bearded cheek, turning his head to face her as his hand cradled the back of her neck. “It’s gunna be okay.” He whispered as a soft smile washed over his reddened face, noticing her falling asleep in his arms.

”Will you stay with me tonight?” She whispered tiredly, her eyes blinking rapidly as she fought the inevitable exhaustion. “Please Buck, I don't want to be alone.”

A selfish wave of relief washed over Bucky as he held her, still processing Steve’s absence himself, he thanked his lucky stars that at least for one night, he wouldn’t have to be alone.

———

Weeks of Steve being gone had turned into months, his absence left a void, an emptiness that was inevitably never going away, both for Bucky and Y/N.

“Y/N?” Bucky’s voice deepened with concern as he threw the car keys in the fruit bowl, being warned of her bad state by F.R.I.D.A.Y as soon as he’d walked in through the front door. “Y/N.” He called out again, picking up his pace as he rushed through the compound to find her. 

“She’s in Mr Roger’s room, Sergeant Barnes.” the AI spoke as Bucky began to panic, his heart sinking as he burst through the door of Cap’s old bedroom. No one had gone in there since he’d left, not even Y/N. 

But that’s where she was, lying on the floor, looking up at the blank ceiling. Bucky sighed with his eyes closed before he walked over to her slowly, aware of her almost unconscious state. 

His heart sped up immediately as he was hit with wave upon wave of memories of his best friend. The smell of the room, the shelves covered with small trinkets that were important to him, his record collection, the framed photo of Y/N and Steve next to his neatly made bed. It was all too overwhelming.

“What did you do, Doll?” He breathed out sadly as he crouched down next to her, his flesh fingers tracing over the empty bottle of asgardian liquor that lay in her limp hand. He carefully took the bottle from her, his eyes looking up at hers, glazed over with dilated pupils.

Y/N kept her head facing the ceiling, only moving her eyes to glance over at him. “I got lost.” She mumbled almost inaudibly, catching a hiccup in her throat as her eyes closed. 

How could she tell Bucky the truth when it was so silly. She’d gone in there to talk to him. No, she wasn’t crazy, she knew he wasn’t going to be there. She thought she would find comfort in being around his belongings, that it would make her feel connected to him. But it didn’t work.

Bucky sighed, letting his fingers intertwine with hers as he held her hand. His thumb rubbed over her skin soothingly as he bit the inside of his lip, the helpless feeling inside of him was starting to become permanent. He desperately wanted to help her, to make everything okay. But there was nothing he could do except be there for her.

“I wasn't good enough for him.” Her words made Bucky’s heart ache with sadness, his eyes closing as he squeezed her hand a little tighter. “Maybe if I was better, he would've stay-” 

“Don’t say that.” Bucky shook his head, his voice cracking a little. Y/N was the most beautiful, funny, talented girl he’d ever met. The more time he spent with her, the more he realised that. It hurt him to hear her say that she wasn’t good enough, that she had convinced herself that was the reason Steve had left. Bucky cursed Steve in his head, frustrated with what his decision to leave had done to her.

Y/N blamed herself for Steve not coming back. She hated herself for not being a good enough reason for him to stay. She sat up most nights trying to figure out exactly what it was that made him decide to go, but she couldn’t understand it.

"I thought he loved me.” Bucky felt the tears streaming down his face as he squeezed his eyes shut tightly. It physically pained him to hear how much she was hurting, the constant torment going on inside of her mind. How lost she felt, how deep Steve’s leaving had cut her up inside.

“He did, Y/N. He still does.” Bucky’s words spluttered out between sniffs. The alcohol was helping to numb Y/N’s pain, her tears silently rolling down her cheeks instead of her usual aching whimpers and heavy breathing. 

“He didn’t even say goodbye.” She mumbled painfully, her wording changing from the perspective she’d had a few weeks ago. Her sleepless nights had given her more than enough time to think, and she’d come to the conclusion that Steve knew what his plan was, so he had the chance to say goodbye, to be upfront and tell her, but he didn’t. Why? The most obvious answer in Y/N’s mind was because he didn’t care, not about her anyway. “Don’t sit there and tell me you do that to someone you love.”

Bucky stayed silent for a moment, pondering in his own thoughts as Y/N went back to staring at the ceiling. At some point since he’d left, Bucky had questioned continuing to defend his best friend. Bucky had watched what Steve’s decisions had done to Y/N, what his actions were still doing to her and in Bucky’s eyes, nothing on earth was worth causing her this much sadness. 

“C’mon, Doll. You’re tired, I know. Let me take you to bed.” He whispered through his heavy breathing as he scooped her up, lifting her body effortlessly as he cradled her in his arms. Y/N didn’t object, nuzzling her face into his chest as her arms wrapped around Bucky’s neck.

Bucky going go bed with Y/N had become routine most nights since the first time she’d asked him to stay with her, they both enjoyed the company and knew neither of them expected anything more than a warm body to hold.

He carried her down the hall until they reached her room, laying her carefully on the bed once they were inside. He pushed the loose hair away from her face, rubbing his thumb lovingly over her cheek as he admired her. 

“I’m just getting you some comfy clothes, I’ll be right back.” Bucky whispered as he leaned over her, pressing a gentle kiss on her forehead. She nodded softly, not taking her eyes off of him as he she watched him move around the room. 

Y/N was beyond grateful for Bucky, he’d been by her side the whole time. Whenever she needed him, he was right there. She felt guilty for lashing out at him sometimes, when all he’d ever done was shower her with love and patience. She wondered if he’d had time himself to process Steve leaving, or if he was suppressing his emotions in order to support her. Either way, Bucky had always made sure that she never felt completely alone, he took pride in looking after her, sometimes it was the only distraction from his destructive thoughts.

“Here you go.” He hummed sweetly, sliding his hand under her back to lift her torso up from the mattress. She sat up obediently as Bucky’s hand let go of her, turning around so that she could get changed privately. 

She smiled shyly at his gentlemanly ways, somewhat reminded of the way Steve was. She looked down at her body as she pulled her shirt over her head, maybe if she looked like a supermodel, Steve would’ve stayed. 

She blinked rapidly to contain her tears, her lips dropping into a pout as she quickly changed into the clothes Bucky had set out for her. A sudden wave of self consciousness hit her as she turned her body to face away from Bucky, laying back down on the bed to hide her body under the covers.

“It’s okay if you want to leave, Buck. I understand.” Her voice came out as a whimper, her eyes dropping to look down at the mattress as she heard Bucky turn back around to face her. 

He sighed sadly as he looked down at her curled up alone on the bed, wishing she knew that he needed her as much as she needed him. He knew after tonight that she was blaming herself for Steve leaving, forcing herself to feel unworthy and unloved. 

“Hey,” Bucky called out to her softly, pulling back his side of the blanket as he slid in beside her. He gently rotated her body to face him, her eyes avoiding his as he pulled her against his chest. “I’m not going anywhere. I pro-” 

“Don’t.” She cut him off, shaking her head as she slid her arms up around his neck. “Don’t make any promises.” Her heartbeat quickened as the sadness engulfed her. “Please.”

Y/N woke up the next morning in a dream like daze, feeling strong arms wrapped tightly around her, her cheek pressed against a warm chest rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

“Steve?” She whispered out sweetly, it was the first moment of peace she’d had in months. Then reality came crashing down on her, remembering Steve was gone. Bucky heard her say it, it was the first time she’d said Steve’s name since he left, his whole body froze as his heart ached sympathetically for her. 

Y/N sighed sadly, pressing her face further into Bucky’s chest as she began uncontrollably sobbing. Wave upon wave of misery flooded her body as Bucky rubbed her back under the thin material of her t-shirt, trying his best to soothe her. 

“Shhhh,” Bucky whispered gently, his metal hand playing with the back of her hair as he held her close. “It’s gunna be okay.”

Bucky had repeated Steve’s words to her almost every day, not that she knew they were Steve’s words, but he didn’t know if he was saying them to comfort her or himself. Either way, as time went on, it was getting harder to believe that it was going to be okay.

———

Y/N had taken a nap for the first time in almost six months. She’d woken up to an empty bed, an unusual occurrence, especially since Bucky had been wrapped up in her arms when she’d fallen asleep.

They’d grown so close since Steve had left, their friendship had blossomed into an unbreakable bond, a deep connection that no one could explain. They understood each other on a level of complexity that formed so rarely it was unheard of. They relied on each other.

She padded softly down the hallway, heading towards the sound of Bucky’s voice coming from the common area. She slowed her steps, gliding her palm along the cold wall as she caught part of his conversation.

“No, I can’t do this anymore.” Bucky hissed to whoever was on the other end of the phone, his voice agitated yet quiet, as if he didn’t want to be heard. “I’ve made up my mind. I’m leaving.”

Y/N’s heart sunk deep into her chest, her head spinning in disbelief as she moved into view of the doorway just in time to see Bucky hang up the phone.

“Bucky?” She whimpered sadly, her chest heaving as it tightened around her heart, her eyes widened innocently as her bottom lip quivered. “You’re leaving?”

Bucky looked up at where she was standing, his eyebrows arching in panic as he realised what she’d walked into. “Y/N.” He started deeply, a lump forming in his throat as he watched her react. “I can explain.”

She shook her head rapidly as she squeezed her eyes shut, a bubbling sense of betrayal and anger erupted in her body. “You’re just the same as he is!” She yelled as she felt tears welling up in her eyes, turning to run back to her room as she thought about going through the process of losing someone again. She couldn’t take it.

She slammed the door behind her, bursting into tears as she paced around her room, slightly hyperventilating as the fear overwhelmed her.

“Y/N,” Bucky burst through her bedroom door, shutting it loudly behind him without a care as he walked over to her. “Calm down.”

She shook her head as Bucky grabbed her by her upper arms, forcing her to stop pacing as she hung her head to avoid his eye contact. “Were you even going to tell me?”

“Stop.” Bucky’s voice hardened as he tried to get her to listen, his eyes softening with worry as his heart raced.

“Or were you just going to leave without saying goodbye?” She disobeyed his command, her anger turning into sadness as she looked up into his gorgeous blue eyes.

“Listen to me,” He spoke softly, gripping onto her arms tightly as his thumbs rubbed over of skin. She looked away from his eyes, her eyebrows arching in sadness as she anticipated what he was going to say. “I’m not going anywhere.”

“I can’t lose you too, Bucky. I can’t.” She panicked as she thought about losing Bucky the same way she’d lost Steve. She wanted to believe him, but how could she possibly know if he was telling the truth? Her lips stayed in a pout, her eyes glued to the right of his body.

Bucky sighed in frustration, his heart broke knowing she didn’t believe him. “Look at me!” He spoke loudly, shaking her arms a little as her glossy eyes finally met his. “I’m not going anywhere, okay?”

Y/N lifted her hands to hold onto the material of his shirt over his stomach, holding him close as if it would keep him there forever. “I heard you on the phone, Buck.”

“Yeah, I know.” Bucky smiled softly, slightly relieved that she was listening to him now as he admired her face. His flesh hand moved up to cup her cheek, rubbing her temple with his thumb. “You heard me telling Fury that I’m leaving, as in leaving the team, not leaving you.” He shook his head, his eyebrows arching as a sympathetic look covered his face.

Her eyes looked up at him with a soft sparkle that he hadn’t seen in a long time, he let out a shaky breath, his eyes softening as he smiled down at her. “You’re really not leaving?”

He shook his head as he watched her sigh in relief, his arms wrapping around her to hold her close. “I’m not going anywhere, doll.”

“Trust me, Y/N.” Bucky whispered as he admired her face, his thumb rubbing across her cheek soothingly. “It’s gunna be okay.” Something about the way Steve said those words made it sounds true, but when Bucky heard himself say it, it was hard for him to believe.

———

“What the hell am I supposed to tell Y/N?” Bucky looked over at his oldest friend, his eyes saddened with stress and responsibility. “She’s gunna ask questions, Steve.”

“Tell her I’ve left. That I’m not coming back.” Steve instructed the long haired super-soldier, sadly running his hand through his blonde hair.

“And you think she’s just gunna accept that?” Bucky shook his head as he kicked a pebble next to his foot absentmindedly. He looked back up at Cap, trying to make him understand. “She loves you, Steve.”

“Bucky, you know I have to do this.” Steve pressed his lips together as he looked sympathetically over at Bucky. His decision wasn’t an easy one, and his best friend trying to change his mind was only making it harder. “I’m leaving her with my best pal.”

Steve grabbed Bucky’s shoulder reassuringly, witnessing the distress on his face, what Steve was asking him to do was huge. “It’s gunna be okay, Buck.”

Bucky sighed, trusting that Steve knew what was best as he wrapped his arms around his friend to say goodbye. “No matter what happens, she can never find out the truth, Buck.”

tag list:

@harrysthiccthighss

@annestine

@bestofbucky

@be-patient-be-good

@nothing0is4here

@velvetcardiganbucky

@sexwithhiddlesbatch

@codyl-angdon​

[royal-ruin]

shadowhunters fic recs (part 1)

these are all going to be malec fic recs, sorry if that’s not what you’re looking for. also, i might have enough for a part 2? i don’t know, we’ll just have to see, i suppose. edit: nope, sorry, i don’t think there’ll be a part 2 anytime soon. the starred ones are my personal favorites. everything is complete unless stated otherwise.

alec lightwood / magnus bane (malec) fic recs

*Closed Doors Don't Lie by RedOrchid (~93k)

When the summoning of the Memory Demon reveals that it's not only Clary's memories that have been meddled with, Alec finds himself being pushed off the path set out for him and onto a different one.

this one was really good! there’s past alec / jace, and i think there are a few scenes of them getting together (i could be wrong, it’s been a while), but they are very brief.

Stone Can Be Broken by lawsofchaos (~4k)

[There’s a deep weariness in Alec’s eyes when he finally looks up to meet Catarina’s gaze. Magnus, on the other hand, turns away to glare at the wall behind Alec’s head, the line of the warlock’s shoulders as razor-sharp as the war paint masquerading as eyeliner on his face.

Alec takes a deep inhale, pushing back the hurt and tilting his chin up ever so slightly in quiet resignation as he breathes out slowly.

“In order for true love’s kiss to break the curse,” and here Alec’s voice is carefully even against the incipient tightening of his throat, “is the love required to be mutual?”]

this is like post break-up and it has a hopeful ending, but it was really heartbreaking for me.

a cold night for good deeds by theprophetlemonade (~510k)

[“There’s this thing that you do,” Alec murmurs. “This power you have that makes you look indestructible.”

“You know that’s not true,” says Magnus.

“I do,” replies Alec, “But even then … there are times when I’m not so sure.”]

1992, New York, a city hanging on to politically-tinged Cold War feelings. Alec Lightwood is a Corporate - a superhero for hire - jostling with a secret identity, holding on to a sense of a normal life, and the fact vigilantes keep turning up murdered in the gutters with no explanation.

Things can only get worse when Magnus - an investigative journalist - starts peeling back Alec’s carefully-crafted mask … and then there’s the mysterious vigilante with the power to move things with his mind who keeps turning up wherever Alec goes - Alec just can’t cut a break.

A neonoir slow-burn superheroes AU about identity, truth, and falling in love without knowing someone’s real name (ft. everyone has superpowers because I couldn’t help myself).

this is the longest fic i’ve ever read. like, with most fics, normally i’d just stop at 200k max, because i literally just can’t read more than that sometimes. but this one was absolutely brilliant. the writing was fantastic, and there was a lot of attention to detail. there’s purple prose too, i get that it’s not everyone’s thing, but it somehow fits so well. it’s also very slow burn, you’ve got to be down for a long ride. 

*Best Laid Plans by SuperficialPeasant (~131k)

When a High Warlock looking to end his celibacy streak meets a Shadowhunter after no-baggage thrills, the two make a deal: anytime, anywhere, no strings attached.

it’s a canon rewrite, essentially. the malec relationship starts pre-canon and it changes so much. one of the tags is “63794102 things change when you put Clary Fray in a holding cell” and that’s literally what made me click on the fic. as you can probably tell from that tag, there’s a bit of clary bashing (very little though). also i love this characterization of alec. he’s so much more confidant and there is way less gay panicking with him and magnus. there’s a fair amount of well-written smut too.

I am your secret and you are mine by xxDreamy (~14k)

Magnus and Alec are leading actors in one of the most popular shows on TV. They met seven years ago on the set and became friends right away. They have been dating for four years by now and no one knows about this. As much as they want to share their relationship with the world, it doesn't seem so easy to do it so they just keep hiding. Until one day they don't have to anymore.

Aka Celebrity AU where they are shamelessly flirting with each other on every occasion and no one pays attention to it because it's how they've been for last seven years.

secret relationship, and modern au with malec as costars. very well done.

On Ice by Carmenlire (~3.5k) (series is ~25k)

[He crouches down until he can meet the man's eyes from where he’s staring down at the floor, expression blank.

“You were a dead man as soon as my customer was pronounced DOA on the fucking sidewalk," Alec says softly. "You don’t come onto my turf and try to screw me and my customers because do you know what happens if you do?”

The man swallows painfully but Alec doesn't give him a chance to finish before he continues, "You don't live to tell the tale."]

Or, Mafia AU

mafia/mob boss alec and magnus of rival gangs. i live for bamf dubious morality alec. it’s a part of a six part incomplete series with mostly oneshots.

One step ahead by apathyinreverie (~103k)

What if Alec and Magnus had already met during that Pandemonium scene in the very first episode?

Or, how things might have gone if Magnus and Alec had just had a few extra days to get to know each other, before Valentine’s schemes, Clary’s various crusades, Lightwood family history revelations and Clave-Downworld politics made everything more difficult for them than it really needed to be.

It truly might have made all the difference in the world.

yeah, another fix-it where malec meets pre-canon. 

Traveler by bumblebeesknees (~16k)

Alec’s not sure how to process that Max, his five-month old baby, is apparently a dimension hopping private investigator 140 years in the future. Magnus has a much easier time dealing with it.

[“Sorry,” says Max, blinking rapidly. He doesn’t look away from Alec. He looks – Alec doesn’t know how to describe the expression on Max’s face. “It’s just... it’s been a long time since I saw you, Dad.”]

this type of mine by thisissirius (~28k)

alec and magnus have a bond. it's probably going to be telepathic.

or the one where the lightwoods are put on trial in more ways than one and alec slowly falls in love with magnus one day at a time.

[sailorhyunjinz]

~ Stray kids reaction to finding a vibrator in your bag ~

Warnings; fem!reader, istg this is all over the place?!, established relationships, college!au, friendships, nicknames (ok only baby but still), masturbation, use of sex toys, uhm...exhibitionism?, just read it and find out~

Requested: Yeeet thank u anon~~ ;) 

Note: everything about this gif is adorable like look at minho 🥺 and how easy hyunjin falls from changbin pushing him? like changbin got them guns 😩

Bangchan

Your boyfriend chan didn’t need to know about everything...right? With that thought in mind you bought a pink bullet vibrator because why not pleasure yourself in a different way when he’s gone? A couple of days passed and you accidently forgot that you had bought it in the first place let alone taken it out of your bag. It was a usual day in your shared apartment. You were cooking some lunch for the both of you and he always liked seeing you cook for him so he admired the sight before giving you a backhug. You turned your head around to give him a quick peck on the lips but laughed a bit when his dry lips hit yours. 

“Chan baby, go apply some chapstick” you said while laughing. A bit embarrassed he asked you where you held the chapstick to which you responded “in my bag”.

After rummaging through your purse he found it but he saw something in a bright pink colored box. You didn’t notice how he looked at you, box in hand, before he cleared his throat loudly which made you snap your head towards him. 

“And apparently where you keep sex toys as well” looking at the box for one second and at your blushing face the other. 

Minho 

Minho was anti-sex toys because he always wanted to prove how hard he could make you cum without the help of any lousy vibrator but you being the brat you didn’t listen and bought a vibrator hoping to use it when he’s away. The best thing was that he was quite often out of the house, attending meetings and other work related tasks so when he announced that he had a meeting Thursday morning you immedietly put your plan to the test. You gave him a quick peck on the lips and the door shut, leaving you alone. 

The toy was intense. You were on cloud nine as you close to your release, holding on to the pastel colored vibrator for dear life but just as you were about to finish you heard a rastle coming from the door. Before you knew it Minho busted into the room. Not given enough time to cover up he walked into the room, seeing you spread out on the bed with a vibrator stuffed deep inside of you. 

“y/n! I forgot-...” his tongue pressed against the inside of his cheek while his lips contorted into a smirk. 

“CAN’T YOU KNOCK?” you raised your voice whilst trying to cover up with the nearest bit of fabric in sight. 

“Seems like you’ve chosen a toy over me, have fun since you won’t be fucking me anytime soon” he laughed as he walked out the room. 

Changbin

“Y/N! HAVE YOU SEEN MY NECKLACE?” he yelled across the house searching frantically in every corner. 

“NO STOP ASKING ME” you yelled back getting annoyed at him huffing and stomping around you, flipping every drawer over. 

He stomped back to the hallway and once again started to look everywhere, creating a boisterous mess. 

“I CANT FIND IT!” he yelled before a loud crash was heard and then silence. You were busy getting ready and when the noise finally stopped you could continue getting ready in peace. But the silence was oddly long which made you think that Changbin had broken something and was trying to hide it because that had happened too many times. 

“BABY DID YOU FIND IT?” you yelled while putting on your eyeshadow. 

You heard his footsteps get closer to you and as he entered the bathroom you were standing in he looked at the vibrator. 

“No, but I found something better in your bag” he said with one eyebrow raised. 

Hyunjin

Hyunjin and you had just arrived to the hotelroom at your vacation spot. After eating dinner at a romantic restaurant you decided that the two of you had to unpack those carriers that were standing by the small TV in the room. 

“Jinnie~ let’s unpack because if we don’t do it now it will never get done!” you nagged at Hyunjin that was lying down on the white double bed scrolling through instagram. 

“but i’m full~” he whined back before you tickled him and he bolted up like a puppy. 

You opened your suitcase and started sorting clothes into pants, shirts and other such categories. Hyunjin was doing the same, sitting on the carpeted floor and pulling out clothing piece after clothing piece out of his black suitcase.

Upon pulling out your favorite sweater something fell and rolled across the floor. Panicked, you tried to catch it before it rolled over to Hyunjin but it was already to late. The small bullet vibrator stopped as it hit Hyunjins foot and he picked it up. His brown orbs widened as he held the tiny object in his hand. 

“Planned to use it?” he laughed before throwing it at you softly.   

Jisung

Your boyfriend Jisung always had twisted ideas and this time wasn’t an exception. He sat across you at the dark oak table in the local cafe sipping away on his Americano (cue hyunjins ‘americano’). Your coffee was ready and you thanked the lady at the counter. What you didn’t notice is that during that small time period of getting your coffee and sitting down with Jisung you had left your bag wide open. Jisung glanced and saw a silk pouch which he hadn’t seen before and so he grabbed it and opened it. He smirked and put it in his lap, waiting eagerly for you to return. As you placed down your latte and sat down he said:

“Y/n?” 

“Yeah baby?” you answered.

He slid the pouch across the table, holding it down with 3 fingers. In shock you almost spilled your coffee as you tried to slam your hand on his, wanting to hide the small vibrator that had a remote controll connected to it. His reflexes were no joke because in the speed of light he retracted his hand and held the pouch up in the air for everyone to see. Jisung inched closer to you across the table.

“You’ll get it back only if you go put it on right now and I get to keep the controller.”

Felix 

Movie date night at home was Felix’s and your favorite since it meant that you could cuddle to your hearts content. You messaged him a picture of the different dvds you had at home and Felix replied that you should bring all of them, being excited to watch dvd instead of netflix. 10 minutes later you got a photo of the snacks the soft boy had bought and as usual he knew your favorites, so you sent a bunch of hearts in reply.

Another reason to why these date nights were so great was because they most of the time led to sex and so you threw in a vibrator into the bag even though you rarely used toys in bed with him. 

When you arrived at his place you placed the bag down as Felix gave you a peck on the cheek. Before you could turn around after hanging your jacket on the coat rack he stood with the vibrator in hand looking at it in fascination. 

“This is way more fun than movies” he said under his breath as he got closer to you. 

Seungmin

The two of you had been out on a date night and after a late night walk in the blossoming park your feet were starting to hurt. The black heels were cute with your outfit but not on your comfort. Seungmin noticed you limping a bit and a worrying expression was painted on his face. He pointed towards a rusty dark blue park bench.

“Take off your shoes, I’ll carry you back home” he said smiling. 

You hesitated, not wanting him to struggle with you on his back but the pain was excruciating and so you sat down on the bench and lazily put the heels in your bag. He kneeled down infront of you.

“Hop on y/n” he giggled slightly.

You giggled with him and hugged his sturdy back, wrapping your arms around his neck. The late summer breeze hit your exposed feet making them slightly cold but you didn’t care since Seungmins body heat was enough to warm you back up. 

Upon arriving home you hurried to put on a pair of socks to warm yout freezing feet. Seungmin being the cute boyfriend he was took out the heels from your bag but stumbled upon a box. He took it out to look closer at it and noticed that it was a small bullet vibrator that you had bought a week ago. You simply forgot to show it to Seungmin. When you looked for him he turned the box in his hand and looked at you with his puppy eyes. 

“Looks like date night is not over” he said as his eyes glimmered. 

Jeongin

Entering college you knew nobody. Everybody had their acquaintances making you look like the outcast but that was until you met your best friend Jeongin. Just like you he was a diligent student, spending most of his time in the library where you first met him. You often had study sessions with the boy since the two of you could learn from each other and one day he suggested that the two of you studied at his house. You agreed thinking that it would be more quiet in his house than in some cafe or library. 

He smiled as he opened the door and greeted you. His room was small but had a comfortable vibe which was enhanced by the fairy lights over his bed. Before the studying started you asked him where the bathroom was and he politely pointed to the a door that could be seen from his bedroom. You told him that he could unpack your things if he wanted to get started and he nodded while smiling. Upon unzipping the backpack there were a bunch of papers and folders that were necessary for the project you were working on but at the bottom there was a white box. He turned it around and through the plastic window he saw the light purple bullet vibrator. Jeongin was flustered and intrigued at the same time never seeing such a thing in real life. You tiptoed back into the room thinking that Jeongin had already started studying but were caught off guard when you saw him holding the vibrator you had forgotten to unpack from yesterday.

“Didn’t know this was needed for a study session” he laughed hysterically while you froze in the door frame, blushing profusely.

[minahoeshi]

you were loved the most of all.

Ushijima Wakatoshi x reader | break-up angst

summary: You should've known that when Ushijima Wakatoshi found it easy to fall in love with you, it might be even easier for him to fall out of it. But who expects the worst when it comes to loving someone as seemingly perfect as him, anyway?

Chapter 1 of 2

Chapter 2 of 2

He said it was easy to fall in love with you. He said he didn’t know when exactly, at which place, nor for what reason. Simply one day, Ushijima Wakatoshi found himself looking at you with the epiphany that maybe there’s something more meant to happen between you and him. There you stood before him that day, the person he could promise love to. (And there he stood before you that moment, the boy whose promises you found yourself believing in no matter what.)

So maybe that’s why it was even easier for him to fall out of love. When he told you he was no longer in love with you, it didn’t matter to you to ask when exactly, at which place, or for what reason. Even the universe itself is meant to fizzle out one day along with the death of the stars. Just one more person drifting away from you like a lone planet with no real orbit shouldn’t leave you broken. You are used to this. You won’t fall apart.

But you break anyway.

It was snowing outside when he decided to tell you to end things now before it hurts both of you even further. Not that the snow has anything to do with the coldness creeping up your chest threatening to spill out of you in endless sobs. You were glad, though. That at the very least, he remained honest with his feelings. He never left you guessing. Every time, he never forgets to tell you what’s on his mind. His honesty is something he thought was necessary.

“I understand, don’t worry. Thank you for telling me right away. I know you’re also considering me–” you tell him and choke up. There are tears running down your face but you’re not worried about that. Wakatoshi never let you mask your emotions around him. For the longest time, he reminded you to feel free to be completely bare with him. All the good and the bad, he said. Don’t be afraid to show them to me. I will always understand.

He steps closer and puts you between his arms. You feel his chin on top of your head as you lean your face into his chest. You’re sobbing now. “I’ll be fine, Toshi. We’ll be fine.”

He kisses the top of your head and lets you stay in his arms for minutes. “I loved you then, and I love you still. It’s just that they’re no longer the same kind. I will stay if you ask me to, okay? Anything you want.”

This only makes you cry harder. He’s always been too good. And even in breaking your heart, he’s too good. You want him to hold on. You want to ask him to stay with you for years and years. Even with a different kind of love, you’ll let him be as long he’s close by. But someone like him who has dreams beyond yourself shouldn’t ever be with someone like you who still lacks certainty toward anything.

“Just for tonight,” you ask, still crying. “Can I stay?”

“of course,” he replies. Anytime you want. Anything you want. It has always been this way.

Because humans are creatures of routines and familiarity, you spend that night the way you usually do when you’re at his place. You cook dinner with him and eat on the dining table, sharing stories and laughter. You keep adding food to his plate and he smiles as you giggle at everything you find funny.

It’s okay, it’s okay. You’ll be okay. You’ll be fine.

You clean the kitchen and stay in the living room. He leans on the couch as you lay down with your head on his lap. You keep talking and laughing. He goes along, sometimes adding things to make you laugh even more, sometimes simply agreeing, sometimes asking questions. You keep it loud and light, afraid of the silence. Inside you, it’s so heavy, your heart might just fall off. This will be the last, you tell yourself. You want to be happy for now. While he’s still here.

"Do me a favor, okay?" You tell him as you're nearing slumber. "Let me leave first tomorrow. Maybe stay in bed, maybe pretend you're asleep. But tomorrow, don't get out of the room until I've left the house." Your voice shakes, feeling yourself wanting to sob.

"I don't want to wake up to another empty bed but I don't want to see your face when I wake up too," you curl into him even further. "I'm sorry for being selfish. I'm sorry I still don't really know what to do. And I know you wake up pretty early and you know, do stuff, but just for tomorrow, please?"

Wakatoshi didn't really understand why. He originally planned on cooking breakfast for you and taking you to the train station. He would watch you board the train and he'd make sure to smile at you as he waves. You always waved back. That's how it works. Even after fights, and even after especially bad nights, you'd still do the same. Watching you leave with a smile was how you both knew you'd still be fine the days after. That nothing much can affect your relationship. For years, this has been the routine.

But tomorrow, he knows he has to give way. He knows what he said hurt you. It would be wrong of him to do what he wants simply because he's used to.

Tomorrow's the last, he realises. And then if you want, he'd never see you again.

--

You wake up pretty early. The sky is a calm shade of blue, the world outside still waking up. You check the time on your phone and find it's 6 AM. Last night, you slept with your back on him. The sight before you is the other end of his bedroom and you notice just how much of yourself you've managed to leave around his place. Pieces of just one other person in his life, scattered in places around his world pretending that’s just where they belong. You didn't mind leaving things behind back then. You never really thought of the day that you might’ve to take back all of them. Just how does one pick up parts of themselves when they thought they’ve finally found a place for them to stay?

But as you stand up, you conclude that when things end, traces shouldn’t be left behind. He didn’t decide to break up only to be reminded of you even after you’re no longer close to him. So you go and pick every little thing that's yours. Even your jacket and sweaters and a few pairs pyjamas in his closet. You'll just take his things from your place too and hand it to Tendou's shop. Coming back here won’t do you any good. Him coming to your place instead wouldn’t either.

Collecting all your things, even the ones you can't use anymore, you leave the bedroom and enter the living room. You don't have many belongings here aside from some DVDs and books. You only take the books and leave the rest for him. You've always preferred reading anyway.

Setting your bag and things aside on the sofa, you go ahead and wash yourself in the bathroom and bring your toothbrush and some other products with you when you're done. You then head to the kitchen to cook him something light to eat for breakfast . You knew you didn't have to. He knows how to cook. It has always been him cooking breakfast for you. When you could, you’d rather stay in bed until the very moment you must start preparing to go to uni or work. But you did anyway. He's probably in his bed, awake. He has never been a heavy sleeper. With all the moving you did around his room, he was bound to wake up if he wasn't already.

You make him a simple omelette and write a small message on top of it with ketchup. "Good luck with practice today!"

You've already cleaned everything you used, preferring to wash and set utensils as soon as you're done with them. That way, when you're sitting down to eat, there won't be any cluster around to distract you.

You put the ketchup down and decide that should be enough. You'll stop here. You should go now.

Ushijima is sitting on his bed. He's been awake since 5 AM when he usually goes on his run. It isn't the first time he chose to stay with you instead of going out, but he can't help but feel heavy this time. He stayed in for you. But as the minutes pass by, it seems that he simply cannot find the courage to sit up and face you.

He wants to sink into his bed.

There's knock on the door followed by sentences uttered softly. "Toshi, I'm going now. There's breakfast on the table. Make sure to eat before you go."

There goes the heavy feeling again. Maybe if this keeps up, he might just actually sink and never get back up.

You've done that a few times. Leaving while he's still in the room. You don't even open the door. You simply knock and tell him you're about to go, always reminding him to eat before he goes too.

But this will be the last, he thinks. If you leave now, will he never see you again?

a/n

chapter 2 will be up soon not rly sure when tho. (it's up now the link is at the top)

also, im not entirely sure but i think i didnt use any pronouns or gendered nouns for this except "girl" in the 1st paragraph which i erased just now? if i'm right, then i hope everyone reading this get to feel as though theyre rly the person in the story. unless ofc u dont want that bc this isnt the happiest ushitoshi x reader fic u can find🥲. but thanks for reading!!!! m so sorry for typos nd other errors as well. i kinda cant read my own writings bc sometimes doing so makes me wanna smack myself in the head and never write again nd i hate that so now im leaving my mistakes to the gods nd hope they love me enough or smth. but yes thank u sm again for reading!!!!

[emmyhem]

always (l.r.h)

a/n: hi everyone! this is a lil angsty piece i wanted to get up. i just want to say again how sorry i am for not getting anything up for the past two weeks, i’ve just been overwhelmed with some stuff for my classes, but i am starting to get back in the swing of things now. also, this is unedited as i was rushing to get it up in time. i do plan on posting something else tomorrow night and hopefully i’ll be posting pretty consistently from now on. also this does end kind of abruptly but i wanted to leave it like that because i’m a sucker for angst, with that being said i would be happy to write a part two if that’s something you’d be interested in. anyway, feedback and comments are appreciated as always and i hope you’re all having an amazing day/night. enjoy! - emmy <33

pairing: luke hemmings x fem!reader 

summary: luke recounts his mistake and hopes he can patch things up with his always. 

warnings:  very brief mention of sex, cursing, mentions of alcohol, luke’s being an asshole, mention of pinching (idk), slight insecurity from the reader, lots of angst :( 

word count: 2.6k

Luke had always hated the quiet. That’s when his thoughts were the loudest. That must be why he had never really liked being alone with himself. 

Tonight in particular, his thoughts were practically screaming, one word over and over again. 

“Y/n”

For the past two years that name had acted as his most favorite word, one that he would utter whenever he had gotten the chance. Whether it be to brag about your recent accomplishments to his friends, to catch your attention from another room, or falling from his lips with a sigh of pleasure as he reached completion with you laying breathlessly beneath him. 

Now the word seemed torturous, the last time he uttered it replaying on a relentless loop in his head. 

It was your 2nd anniversary. Dinner had been laid out on the table for an hour. Two glasses of wine sat untouched in front of a vase of roses you had picked out at the florist earlier that morning, and there was no sign of Luke. 

You were wracking through your brain as you watched a petal fall from a rose and land lightly in one of the glasses. 

Had you gotten the time wrong? 

But you were sure that the two of you had agreed on 8:00 for dinner, that way you had time to get everything ready after getting home from work, and Luke wouldn’t have to rush to leave the studio. 

Yet somehow you found yourself staring at the now cold dinner at 9:30, with absolutely no word from Luke. You wanted to call, if for no other reason than to check he was still alive and breathing, but your nerves stopped you from doing that, not wanting to take on the role of the overbearing girlfriend. 

Your stomach growled hungrily over the light music that was playing through the house speakers. So, begrudgingly you took a bite of the pasta on your plate before downing your entire glass of wine. 

Luke arrived home about 2 hours later, a bouquet of your favorite flowers in hand. He caught sight of the table, with one setting completely untouched as he hung up his coat, causing guilt to pang in his chest. 

“Baby,” he called out, carrying himself to your shared bedroom.

When no response came his heart rate sped up in fear that you had left. 

“Y/n” he called, louder this time with a sense of urgency clear in his voice.  

That’s when he spotted a person sized lump underneath the duvet. Releasing a sigh of relief he moved towards you, peeling the blankets off and leaving a soft kiss on your shoulder. 

This caused you to stir a bit, eyes fluttering open to meet him. 

“Hi, my love.” he cooed. 

A frown was prominent on your face, and a crease separated your eyebrows as they furrowed angrily. 

“I’m sorry I’m late. We got a bit carried away in the studio, but in good news the album is coming along great. M’so excited for you to hear it” 

You had always tried to be understanding of Luke’s job for many reasons. One being that you both reaped the benefit of his success, you wanted for essentially nothing, had a nice house, the opportunity to travel, and Luke often spoiled you with gifts even if you asked him not to. Another being how happy it made your boyfriend. Music truly was his passion, and he was so talented that you wouldn’t want for him to ever put his work on the back burner for you. 

With that being said, you made a point to take time off to spend time with him whenever you were able to. You had even changed jobs because your last one hadn’t allowed you to go on tour with him, which he had been adamant about, insisting, “There’s no way I can be away from you for that long.” 

And you were happy to do all of those things, because you were in love, and  you felt incredibly lucky to even be a part of his world. But you did start to question things as your relationship went on. It felt like Luke didn’t even consider your job. He only saw it as something that took you away from him. 

You had worked hard to get where you were in the occupational field. Without your job all you would have to do is sit around and wait for Luke to be ready for you, and you just couldn’t live like that. 

Luke turned on the lamp on your nightstand as you slowly sat up in bed. 

“2 weeks Luke, we’ve had these plans for two weeks.” 

“I know baby I tried, but you know how it is when inspiration strikes.” he dismissed while sitting the flowers on the ground. 

“No, I don’t. Do you not think that I have things I could be doing for work? Cause I do, and I choose this over all of that.” you huffed in frustration. 

Luke took a deep breath while subtly rolling his eyes. 

“Y/n, I’m sorry for missing dinner, but you don’t understand the pressure I’m under, from the fans, the label, management, and the band.” 

“I know that you work hard and I know how important this is to you, and I’m so proud of you, but I’m proud of us too and I would’ve liked to have a night for just us.” you tried to explain. “Not to mention the fact that I’m under pressure in my job too and I always find time for you, no matter what.” 

“Yea, you have pressure from a job that you don’t need.” his voice rising in anger with each word as he paced around the room. 

“How many times do I have to tell you Luke? It’s my job, it’s a part of my life and I don’t plan on giving it up anytime soon.” you shouted. 

“Great.” he replied sarcastically. “Then you should understand that I won’t give up my job anytime soon.” 

“I’m not asking you to, I’m just asking for a bit of consideration, and just a sliver of your time.” 

“I’m working to make us more money.” he stated.

“Luke, we don’t need any more money. You should be working because you enjoy it and because it’s your passion.”

He let out a condescending laugh before turning to look in your eyes. 

“Yea, well you don’t seem to mind all the money when you're sitting at home in the house that I bought, and leeching off of my bank account on the daily. D’ya think you could afford all the shit you have just based on your salary?” he spat crudely. 

You physically leaned back as if the words had just actually been thrown at you. They must’ve, because the pain they caused felt far too real to just be emotional. You opened your mouth to fight back, to scream, to do something but the lump in your throat prevented anything to come out other than a sad, and pathetic squeak. 

Was that what he thought about you? 

This had caught you completely off guard. Sure, you were expecting an argument, you’d even say you were expecting a big one, but you would’ve never guessed he would throw this in your face. 

You felt betrayed. It had always made you insecure that you were making such little money compared to your boyfriend. 

Some days after receiving your paycheck you would go out and spend it all on Luke, solely because you wanted to know that you could contribute too. You would do that whenever you got the chance, to reassure that your work was important, and valid. And mainly to show Luke that you appreciated all he did for you. 

He would always reply, “You don’t have to do this, love. I like spoiling my girl.” 

Yeah right. 

“I wasn’t, I m-mean I don’t try to lee-,” you paused, the word feeling too gross to repeat back. 

“Well, you do whether you're trying or not so the least you can do is give me a break occasionally.” he spoke casually, while changing into sweats as if he wasn’t ripping you apart with every word. 

You kept a blank stare at the bedroom door, your eyes already stinging with unshed tears. You wished you could be angrier but his words left you questioning and feeling guilty. 

As hard as you’d tried to provide for yourself and make your own way you couldn’t help but wonder if you had subconsciously started leaning on him, more than you had ever wanted. 

Luke continued getting ready for bed, not taking a second look at you since hitting you with his harsh words. 

“I-I’m sorry.” you croaked. 

“It’s fine, Y/n I just wish you could’ve been slightly more understanding.” he continued, still not facing you. 

“I think that maybe, I mean, um I gotta go.” you were speaking through tears, as you abruptly stood from the bed and hurried to leave the room. 

This caught Luke’s attention causing him to spin in your direction at lightning speed, finally taking in your emotional state.

“Going? Going where? I-what are you talking about?” 

You didn’t reply, grabbing your keys, bag, and shoes as you continued to speed to the front door. 

“Y/n!” he continued, following closely behind you. 

You paused at the front door and turned to meet his eyes. His stressed appearance subsided as you allowed him the opportunity to talk. 

“You’re upset.” he concluded, reaching a hand out to hold your cheek.

You leaned away from his touch and shook your head lightly, “M’not.” 

His features softened and he took another step closer to you, “You are. I’m sorry, I was harsh.” 

“No, I’m sorry. I didn’t know.” 

“Didn’t know?” 

“I don’t want t-to leech” you stuttered out. 

This rendered Luke speechless, realizing how cruel his words had been. You had taken this as an opportunity to exit the house, quickly running to your car. Luke made it to the driveway just in time to see you drive away. 

“Fuck” he snapped, jogging back towards the house to get his phone and call you in hopes of convincing you to come back. 

After calling you at least 20 times with no response he conceded and decided he should try and get some sleep, that way he was rested enough to get you to forgive him in the morning. 

His body fell naturally to his side of the bed, but his eyes lingered on where you typically laid. 

Rolling onto his back, eyes finding the ceiling he muttered to himself, “I’m an idiot.” 

Eventually he was tiring out, the bedroom ceiling growing extremely boring after staring for so long. He turned on his side to hug your pillow to his chest. As his hand slid under the pillow it came into contact with an envelope that had been hidden underneath. 

He sat up and flicked on a lamp to read the front, “To my Lu” 

He could tell that you had taken your time penciling on your words, each letter was flawless and written delicately. Before ripping it open he hesitated, questioning whether or not he even deserved to see what was inside after the way he spoke to you. The selfish part of his brain won for the second time that night. 

The first thing he saw after opening was two airline tickets situated just in front of a folded piece of notebook paper. 

He held his breath as he brought them into the light, two roundtrip business tickets to Sydney. 

He rushed to read the note you had left with them, unfolding it quickly. 

“Lu, 

Happy two years, my love. I can’t believe I’ve been lucky enough to call you mine for this long. Not a day goes by where I’m not in complete and utter awe of you and everything you do for me. I know how hard you work and how much you miss home and your family while you continue to grow in your music, and in yourself everyday. I know these aren’t the best tickets you’ve ever had by any means or the most extravagant vacation you’ve taken, but I wanted to show you how much I love you and how much I know you deserve, and need a break. We have 2 weeks, we leave tomorrow. I’ve worked it all out with the guys and your label. I know this is just a small way to repay you for the way you’ve taken care of me and the way you’ve loved me so selflessly for so long but I hope it shows you just a sliver of how much I love you. 

Yours always, 

               Y/n” 

He traced the letters of your name repeatedly as he blinked back a few stinging tears, before falling asleep, the note clutched tightly to his chest. 

That was a week, and about 100 missed calls ago.

About two days after you left, your friend had called to let him know that you were safe and staying with her for the time being. It had slightly lessened his worry, but the guilt he felt grew exponentially each day he had no reason to say your name.

He had claimed your side of the bed as his own in hopes that it would bring you closer to him. When he had finally dragged himself out of bed to shower he used your body wash and as embarrassing as it sounds nearly cried when the room was flooded with the familiar rose scented steam. And tonight while scouring through the liquor cabinet and feeling completely sorry for himself he had come across a bottle of tequila that you had purchased on your most recent vacation. 

Luke had put a serious dent in it by the time he was done scrolling through all of his pictures of you, and his finger began to itch with the need to call you. 

Through blurry and clouded eyes he located your contact, a breath hitching in his throat when he clicked the call button. 

With each unanswered ring he pinched his wrist, willing himself to wake up and discover this was all just some horrible nightmare, that he would just roll over and see you curled up next to him, warm, and sweet, and perfect. So fucking perfect. 

“You’ve reached y/n. Sorry I can’t get to the phone, leave a message and I’ll get back to you. Thanks” 

But it’s not his nightmare that got him here, it’s his mistake. 

“Y/n,” he croaked, his voice hoarse and scratchy as he hasn’t used it much in the past couple of days. 

“I don’t know what to do anymore, I miss you and I’m sorry. I-” his heart was pounding and his intoxication numbed him from the feeling of  the hot tears that streamed down his face as he continued. “M’selfish baby. I’m so selfish and I was talking out of my ass that night, of course you’re not leeching. That’s fucking ridiculous, you couldn’t be, I give you nothing compared to what you give me. I just don’t know how to admit I’m wrong and the money is bullshit, it doesn’t matter, we could both live without it.”  his chest felt tight as he took a large gulp of air. “I-I can’t live without you, really I don’t think I can. I need you and I love you. I love you so much. Just please come home to me, please baby. I need you with me, and I want to fucking give you the world and I know you don’t need me to give it to you. I want to. I just-I want to give you everything, anything. You can have it all. It’s yours. I’m yours, alwa-”  his pleads were cut off by the dial tone. 

“Always.” he repeated, staring at the black screen. 

pt. 2

[writefandoms]

Wild Puppy

Alucard x Female!Reader

Request: “heya! I know you're in the mood to write for levi but i’m so sorry, I am an alucard (hellsing) simp, so maybe some alucard headcanons again where him and the reader are playfully fighting? If it's possible of course. I think I'm the only one that requests him haha. I hope you're well though.”

Word Count: 1k

The task seemed easy enough.

A simple sparring exercise between the Hellsing soldiers. Oddly enough, even though your job required you to fight undead monsters, Seras still deemed it necessary to learn hand-to-hand combat.

You didn’t mind, in fact it gave you a chance to show these boys what you’re made of. Some of the soldiers were freshly hired mercenaries, they leader was a bit of a flirt but seemed nice enough.

They didn’t seem all too keen of Seras’ training schedule, arguing if they ever got that close to a vampire they’d be dead in a second.

Which admittedly isn’t wrong, but it’s important to be ready for anything. He was even more annoying when he explained that he didn’t want to be partnered with you specifically.

“What’s wrong Bernadotte? Scared you’re going to get beat by a girl.” Your elementary school teasing was targeted at his fragile ego, and he took the bait without a seconds hesitation.

“Quoi?! I was going to go easy on you, but forget it!” He always slips into French whenever he was upset, it was kind of cute.

But anytime you feel a slight attraction towards Pip he has to go and ruin it. He lunges at you catching you off guard, and slams you on you back.

He stands above you looking smug, “Sorry, ma chérie. I tried to warn-ah!”

You cut him off by sweeping his feet, making him land hard on his back.

“What was that, ma chérie?”

He huffs and gets back to his feet. Without another word he lunges at you once again. This time your ready for him.

Grabbing his wrist, you twist it behind his back and sweep his feet once again. He falls forward, your body weight pushing him down faster.

With him successfully pinned beneath you, his squad laughed and points at their esteemed captain.

After struggling for a few seconds he finally gives up and taps out. Jumping up you hold your hand out for him to take, helping him sit up.

“Very impressive, for a human.” A deep voice echoed behind you, you don’t need to look to know who it is.

“Isn’t it past your bedtime, vampire?” Alucard chuckles, you turn to see him phase throw the wall.

“Why don’t you try fighting a real enemy.”

Pip mutters something in french but didn’t stand up to the vampire.

“You’re hardly an enemy, Alucard.” He grin widens as you take a step closer. “More like a wild puppy.”

His grin falters, red eyes glaring holes into your soul. No matter how long you’ve known Alucard, that stare always shakes you to the core.

Putting your hands up defensively, you tried to calm him down. “I’m kidding! You know I’m just playing with you.”

“Then show me what you got.” He extends hand as if asking you to dance.

Never one to turn down a challenge, you bend your knees slightly getting into stance. “You’re on.”

He grins once again, and you run towards him. Fist clenched you go straight for his face, you land the hit. His nose cracks and blood flows from his nostrils. There’s no hint of pain on his face, he just laughs obnoxiously.

“Good. Very good!” His praise is a rarity to receive, so you can’t help the swell of pride that fills your chest.

“Now it’s my turn.” His nose cracks back into place and the room is shrouded in darkness.

Hundreds of eyes open across the blackness, all bloody and looking straight at you. Tendrils emerge from beneath you, wrapping around your ankles, throwing you off balance.

Falling backwards, you’re surprised when the ground softens your fall. Darkness beneath you acting as a cushion.

The tendril pulls you forward, towards the direction where Alucard once stood. A mass forms from the darkness of the wall, you can make out the outline of Alucard’s hair. Once you were close enough one of his real eyes open, staring at you. Even without a mouth you could tell by the squint in his eye that he was grinning.

Panic sets in once his arm manifest, near his half formed head, and reach out to you.

Kicking at the tendril around your ankle, you attempt to escape. His eyes only squint harder and laughter fills the void around you.

More arms form around you and soon you’re pulled within grabbing range. Immediately you knew what he was planning.

His gloved fingers attack your sides, pulling cries of laughter from your chest. He is relentless as you struggle to curl up into a ball, his grasp on your ankle prevents you from running.

The torture is too much to bear, laughing so hard that you’re on the verge of tears.

“Fine!” You yell throw your laughter, “You win!”

Immediately he releases you, arms falling back into the darkness. You groan and fall flat on your back, arms folded across your chest.

The tendril releases your ankle and you sit up, still struggling to catch your breath while glaring at him.

Alucard’s forms his top half from the wall, smirking down at you. Soon the darkness falls away, sucked back into the bastard himself.

Everyone looks at you two, both confused and scared.

“What the hell just happened.” One of the mercenaries asked, “Everything was dark, and these voices and-“ He trailed off muttering to himself.

“Great job, Alucard. You scared the poor man.” You scold the bloodsucker, not surprised when you only got a chuckle in response.

“Alright, uh...good practice everyone! See you all tomorrow!” Seras claps her hand trying to maintain any positive energy. They all make a noise of acknowledgment and practically run out of the room, most likely to get as far from the red giant as possible.

“You’re awful, you know that?”

“Oh? Am I?” He teased, leaning down to meet your eye level.

You reach out and cup his cheeks in both hands, noticing the soft look in his eyes as he melts into your touch.

“Aw Alucard,” you coo, thumb stroking his cheek. “I’m telling Integra you ruined training!”

Before he could react you were running out the room. The warmth of your skin greatly missed, a nice contrast to his cold dead skin.

But he’d rather not be scolded tonight, he decides as he phases through the wall, racing you to his masters study.