#i don't think people remember what snow did to finnick

[anothermansjeans]

people ranking young snow above finnick on tiktok are going straight to hell 😭

[brookiewriting]

ahhhh if you wanted to could you do a finnick fic where the reader was in the blood rain during the quarter quell and finnick helps her calm down and clean up kind of like what katniss did for wiress? I'm thinking pre-existing relationship. thank you!!!

CLICKS

finnick odair.

summary : you get separated from finnick and he finds you covered in blood.

note : my first request omg!! i'm literally so bad at writing pre-existing relationships... like. it's embarrassing! but i tried my best for a good midground. also, catching fire is the only book i've read once so let's ignore any none canon compliant details 🤔😛 peeta and katniss don't exist lololol.

word count : 1,538

you couldn't believe you were in this damn game again. after sleepless nights, panic attacks, and flashbacks from the arena, you figured, at the end of the day, you'd at least never have to go back.

you were very wrong. at first, you thought it was some cruel joke. of course, snow was demented enough to do something like this, and the quarter quells weren't known for being easy, but seriously? throwing the victor's in again was crazy. inhumane.

even though your name was drawn days ago, you could still feel the silent eyes on the back of your head as you made your way to the stage. hushed whispers and concerned expressions. you remembered feeling even worse than the first time you went in. this time, instead of the feeling of hope amongst the people in your district, you could sense in their pained eyes that they didn't think you'd come back a second time. honestly, you didn't think you would either.

maybe it would better this year. this year you had finnick. but alliances only get you so far in this game.

☾ ☾ ☾

finnick got separated from you almost immediately. you were frozen as the voice echoed from above the arena.

"let the seventy fifth hunger games begin. may the odds ever be in your favor."

it seemed like everyone was quick to move to the center where the weapons were. your eyes darted frantically around at all the victors next to you. you watched finnick's golden curls disappearing into the water. closing your eyes for a moment, you counted to ten in your head, and you did what you did in your first games. you ran.

you were, thankfully, quick enough to pick through the remains of the weapons, and were able to get your hands on pretty decent throwing knifes. once you secured them to the band around your waist, you scanned the arena. "finnick!" you called out, hoping the blonde boy could hear his name over the cries and screams of victors fighting each other.

no reply. god, please don't be dead already. please keep my finnick safe. you repeated over and over, sucking in your bottom lip and biting it to the point where dew drops of blood formed and the taste of metal filled your senses. it was so overpowering that you couldn't think. your brain was shutting down.

you prayed and prayed that finnick was smarter than to get into a fight right away. there was nothing to do but hope that he swam away and was hiding somewhere.

you cried out his name again, and again there was silence. so you had to do what you had to do to survive, and that was run away. there was a forest clearing not far from the starting circle. right. that's where i should go.

the forest was already murky and nearly dark, and you let out an exhausted sigh. the games had just begun but you were exhausted, terrified, and hungry. all while you were having flashbacks of your first games. your shaking hands were holding on tightly to the hilt of your knives, the cold metal allowing you to focus your senses on something other than y'know— your inevitable death.

one positive thing that you learned from your previous games was that you were stealthy. your feet were light on the dirt and you made sure to leave multiple tracks so no one could follow you. this year you knew you had to outsmart everyone. you had an advantage by being quiet. maybe you could hide throughout the whole game.

that worked for a while. it was quiet in the clearing, no sounds of struggling and the screams from the center had died down quite a bit. but you couldn't find cover anywhere. it seemed like you were just doing circles, repeating and seeing the same tree over and over again. by the next hour, you made sure to walk as slow as possible to save your stamina.

you heard the sound of a shrill scream, definitely from a woman. and then came the downpour.

the rain wasn't normal rain. of course it wasn't, it was snow for fuck's sake. the rain was thick. it landed in chunks rather than individual drops. it took you a moment to realize that this rain was blood.

you looked down at your shaking hands, the maroon of the blood staining your skin. that's disgusting. it smelt like the metallic scent of pig's blood you'd smell walking past the farms in your district. the blood rain made your skin, hair and clothes feel heavy and sticky. and after a bit, your eyes started to sting, vision blurry as you tried your best to outrun it.

i can't see anything. i'm going to break my damn ankle. you thought, using your hand as a barricade against the rain. it was no use. as your sight got worse, your hearing improved, and for a second, you heard the sounds of running water.

and someone clicking their tongue in that familiar pattern.

☾ ☾ ☾

finnick's hands were on your shoulders, dragging you away from the crowd of victors waiting for their interview with caeser flickerman.

"jesus, finnick. can you be gentle?"

your voice was condescending, but were smiling though, your hands tugging at the bottom of your dress. you were met with a frown. those sea green eyes of his looked grey. something was wrong.

"this'll be my only chance to speak with you before the games. i need you to listen, alright?"

it was weird seeing finnick this serious. during all of his interviews and talks before this, it seemed like he wasn't even taking this game serious. like he thought he'd already won. or that he didn't care if he died.

"i can't call out for you in the arena. you can't be seen with me. we'll be too small of an alliance and we'll get killed. do you understand?"

his hands were gently shaking you out of your dazed state and you swallowed, nodding slowly. it sounded like he didn't want to be in an alliance with you. yeah, sure, you weren't the top ranked tribute, or even the smartest, but you thought district's were supposed to stick together, right?

finnick must have read the confusion on your furrowed brows, his grip loosening from your shoulders. his smile was back, the cresent shaped dimples indenting onto his cheeks. you wanted to trace them with your hands. to have his face remember the gentle curves of your touch.

"don't give me that look." he spoke finally, breaking the painful silence that drifted between you two.

"i don't understand."

"listen for my whistle. it'll let you know that i'm close by."

he made a clicking noise similar to a birds call and you bit your tongue to stiffle your laugh.

☾ ☾ ☾

you may have been laughing then, but you weren't now, the clicking bringing temporary relief to the throbbing pain in your eyes and head. you repeated the click, your lips dry.

with your eyes barely able to open, you were able to make it to the sandy riverbank.

"y/n? god, who's blood— i thought you were— there's people—"

you could hear finnick's panicked voice in segments, and you sighed in relief. his hand took yours and together you sat in the water. the first place you both cleaned blood off of was your face.

finally being able to see him again, you burst into a bright smile and tackled hugged him. finnick hugged back, being slightly knocked over into the creek, his hand holding the small of your back. when you pulled away, his hands were still holding your sides as if you were about to float away.

"your whistle! i heard it! oh my god, finn, there was blood. but not any blood, it was raining blood! can you believe that? snow is a sick—"

finnick shut you up quickly by holding both sides of your face and pulling you into a quick kiss. it made your cheeks hot and in any other situation maybe this

"i thought you died." he repeated, and for some reason you felt guilty for leaving him. you should've fought with him. he could've died too. the concern in his eyes was enough to make your heart hurt. "hey, i thought you died too." you protested, sighing in defiance. his hands were on your cheeks now, gently cupping water to wash away the blood stains. finnick didn't respond, but the small smile he gave you while looking down made your cheeks warm.

"what are we going to do?" you ask him, and it's clear that he doesn't know himself. his thumb reaches out across your forehead. he really wished he knew. he couldn't imagine coming back to district four without you.

he's still quiet, just enjoying your presence, and the soft feverish touches between you two. "i have no idea, sweetheart." finnick adds, and there's a hint of amusement in his tone. he can't let you panic without a reason, and he just wants you to relax, at least for now. your fingers gently reach out and brush across the cuts on his temple and you frown.

"we'll be alright, though. i'll keep you safe."

[kald-dal-art]

For the opinions: (1) Finnick is overrated (2) Gale is overhated

"Finnick is overrated"

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

Very strong emphasis just because I think he is a tad bit overrated doesn't mean I hate him. I really don't.

I just think that he sometimes overshadows a lot of the other characters in discussions around the series. But he also an interesting character that adds to the story so this isn't a case of a completely flat/OK character getting more attention than he deserves which is why I didn't put this opinion as "Strongly Agree"

Also honestly at this point commenting on every post that is saying anything about how hot someone find Coriolanus/Tom Blyth with "Remember what he did to Finnick/He killed Finnick" is getting kind of obnoxious 💀

_____________

"Gale is overhated"

strongly agree | agree | neutral | disagree | strongly disagree

At this point all of this one note hate on Gale I see in the fandom (especially Tik Tok) is going to turn me into a Stan lol. Yes he is annoying and I rolled my eyes more than once because of him. But holy shit he is not the worst character in the series. Hell I wouldn't even put him in the top 10 worst people in the series.

Like he is so interesting to analyse and how people in power will radicalize vulnerable rightfully angry young people for their own agenda. His reaction to the Capitol is honestly more realistic than people give him credit for (I'm not saying he is right in his actions, but you can see where he is coming from)

He can be such an interesting character to analyse without bringing up the "Love triangle" even once. Also some people be fr, this guy is not worse than Snow, not like even close 💀

[mikonez]

okay my thoughts on tbosas bc I have nobody to talk to about that (and all people i know who have watched it told me they were "disappointed the love story didn't pan out the way they wanted" )

1. Lucky Flickerman is an entertainer and made jokes to distract from the fact that they were killing!! children!!! and the way people on the internet (specifically tiktok) are talking about how funny he is and not about the children that died (wovey!!) makes me want to remove my eyes with a rusty spoon.

like. the point is. RIGHT. THERE. its manipulation to make people in the capitol think dead children equals haha

2. (also tiktok) people are making smashability rankings, which, whatever who am I to bitch about that but. putting finnick on number one when we all know he was sold for his body and attractiveness feels so weird?? and what's even worse is that nobody is reflecting on that???

3. and don't even get me started on snow. "I could fix him", "me ignoring all the red flags" whAT. I swear we're all just a capitol hive mind. saying you love snow but hate gale?? I don't necessarily love gale either but I still know that he had good, understandable reasons for what he did. he was a complex character who grew up in poverty and fear. he had to grow so fast to provide and care for his younger siblings. he was a child, too. And he didn't give the order to kill a bunch of children. Him killing prim was not his intention. Snow! wanted to kill prim. and just because he's younger and attractive in the movie it doesn't make him less homicidal.

lets all remember that snow is a little piss boy fascist dictator who still hasn't gotten over a situationship 50 years ago, kills little children for entertainment, and sells children and women for their bodies.

Also! i know in the movie we don't get to see his inner monologue that makes him so disgusting in the book but surely his little hissy fit with a gun at the end cut the deal for people, right? wrong. apparently :|

[lvstcd]

no time to die ⟶ finnick odair & oc [part 9]

part 1 | part 2 | part 3 | part 4 | part 5 | part 6 | part 7 | part 8 | part 9

A/N: this is for my pookie ookie bear rese <3 happy birthday bbg

WARNINGS: swearing, mentions of death, mentions of torture, mentions of sex trafficking, weapons, trauma, smoking, pretty much all hunger games shit :)

SUMMARY: rhys marley was the youngest victor of hunger games, winning at the age of 12. 9 years later, she's captured by the capitol along with johanna mason and annie cresta while everyone else is in district 13.

GENRE: angst, dystopian, fluff, slow burn, friends to enemies to lovers

WORD COUNT: 1.6k

oc - original character(s)

NOT EDITED! SORRY FOR MISTAKES :0

lower case intended

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ZEPHYR, peeta, and finnick sit in her room, waiting for any sort of news. finnick sits on the ground, his back pressed against the wall and his knees to his chest as he continues to tie his rope. peeta sits on zephyr's bed with her, his arm around his shoulder, holding her into his chest as she lays there, staring at the wall. she glances at finnick, watching him.

"when.." her voice scratches out, her throat dry, "when you told me a few days ago.. that all you have been trying to do is protect rhys from the whole world.." she stops, finnicks eyes meeting with hers, "was that.." she stops talking, just looking at him. she tries to think of the best way to ask the question. she scrambles for the right words in her head, her gaze not leaving finnick.

finnick stares at her, a few dry tears on his cheekbones, waiting for her to ask the question. he knows what she's going to ask. but he wants her to ask it.

"i guess what i'm trying to ask is.. did you take her place? when the capitol planned to sell her... did.. did you volunteer to take her place?" zephyr asks, her voice a slight whisper. finnick's eyes soften and he clears his throat. he nods.

"why?" she whispers, looking at him. he sets the rope down, running a calloused hand through his hair. "they wanted to start selling her and her body when she turned 13. it was a year after she won the games. snow was making his way into victor village. rhys and her family were out, doing something. i don't remember what it was. i ran outside when i saw him. deep down, i knew what he wanted. what he was going to make her do. i.. i couldn't let that happen. i told him to take me instead. that he could do whatever he wanted to me. he could sell me to whoever. but he couldn't lay a finger on rhys. ever." he stops, glancing at zephyr.

"i have... i have put myself through so much for her. and she can't stand me. she won't even look at me." he whispers, his eyes not leaving hers. "she could hate me forever. and i would still protect her. if i could go back in time, i would still do it. i would still put my life in danger for her. because she means so much to me, and to you, and to many other people around us. i would do it over and over again, with no hesitation."

zephyr looks at him, nodding her head, "and the tattoo you have.. is it for rhys?" finnick nods his head, going to speak, but he is cut off by haymitch storming into the room out of breath. "they're back."

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ALL four of them run to where the soldiers are. she see's johanna and annie with the doctors. johanna looks at her, her eyes tired but her face full of anger. the usual johanna look. finnick see's annie and his heart drops. he runs to her and instantly wraps his arms around her. zephyr watches them, ignoring them. she looks around for any sign of rhys. she keeps looking around, finnick turning around and noticing zephyr struggling to find rhys. he steps away from annie, searching around for rhys too.

he stops, seeing her in the room with about 3 doctors, her back towards the door. he freezes, going to step in, when zephyr shoves him out of the way, running inside. finnick stops himself, knowing that his face isn't going to be the one she wants to see right away. he turns around, slowly going back to annie to comfort her.

zephyr runs into the room, coming to a halt when she see's rhys' boney back being covered with a gown. "yang..?" she whispers, rhys slowly turns to look at zephyr, her face black and blue, her once long platinum blonde hair is now cut short. "rhys.." she says softly, her eyes brimming with tears, "i'm so sorry. it should've been me who got captured, not you. you didn't deserve this." she is cut off my rhys shakily bringing her hands out to zephyr, waiting for her to come closer to embrace her.

zephyr steps forward, gently wrapping her arms around rhys' waist. she sobs into rhys' shoulder, rambling on about how she is sorry and how it should've been her, not rhys. rhys weakily lets go of zephyr, putting her hands on zephyrs face, "zeph. it isn't your fault. i needed to get you out of that arena. and i did. that is all that matters to me. that you're safe." zephyr shakes her head, hugging her again as she sobs, her hands gripping onto rhys' hospital gown.

peeta stands there silently, watching the interaction. rhys brushes zephyrs hair as she holds her. she glances at peeta, "hi bread boy." she whispers weakily, a small smile on her bloodied lips. he laughs softly, not knowing what to say. he doesn't want to ruin the moment for zephyr and rhys.

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FINNICK sits with annie as she sleeps, his hand brushing annie's hair as her face is nuzzled into his chest. johanna glances at him, "how's rhys? did you tell her i say hi?" she asks as she watches the two of them next to her. finnick's eyes widen, realizing he hasn't gone to see her yet. he looks down at annie who's sleeping peacefully on his chest. he looks back at johanna, not being able to form words.

johanna scoffs and looks away, "rhys and i grew pretty close in there. we got so used to each others screams and cries that we can most likely mimic them perfectly." finnick doesn't say a word, he gently moves annie off of him and slowly stands up, going to walk to rhys' room.

zephyr sees him about to walk in, her eyes widening. rhys continues to sleep while zephyr steps outside, stopping him from coming inside. "finnick." she says softly, blocking the doorway, "you don't want to see her." finnick's eyebrows furrow in confusion, sadness flooding his features, "what? why?" zephyr sighs, looking around before locking her eyes with his, "you won't recognize her." finnick shakes his head, trying to get past her, "i don't care. i want to see her."

she stops him again, putting her arms out so he can't get through, "finnick. you can't. when she was in there... they.." she stops, causing finnick to look down at her, his eyes wide and angry, "what did they do to her, zephyr?"

"finnick. listen to me. i just need you to go. please. just give it a few days. if you see her right now, it will kill you inside. just.. just go back to annie for a bit, okay? please? for rhys." he nods at zephyr, turning around and walking back to annie. he sits on the end of annie's bed as she sleeps.

a day or two later, finnick wakes up and immediately goes to rhys and zephyr's room. zephyr lies in bed asleep, while rhys lies in her bed, staring at the wall. finnick quietly steps inside, looking at her, his eyes full of pain and heart break as he looks at her. her gaze snaps towards finnick, her eyes widening. she scoots back in her bed, afraid. her eyes show fear and anger.

"rhys.." he whispers, trying to get closer to her. all of the sudden she screams, immediately waking up zephyr. finnick jumps back, afraid and confused. "get out! get the fuck out! you left me! you left me there to die! all you have ever done to me in my life is try to kill me! get out!" rhys screams, thrashing around on her bed. zephyr stands up, shoving finnick out of the room while peeta runs in, trying to calm rhys down.

"finnick. you need to leave." zephyr says quickly, closing the door behind her as she stands outside with finnick while rhys is inside their room crying and yelling.

"what did they do to her?" he asks, ignoring what zephyr said. he looks through the window, his eyes full of anger and pain as he watches rhys have an episode. zephyr ignores his question, "you just need to go. finnick, go." he looks down at zephyr, "no. what did they do to her? tell me." zephyr lets out a deep breath, rubbing her forehead before looking up at him. "they.. they hijacked her with tracker jackers. they went through all of her memories while she was being stung with tracker jackers and they... they made all of her memories all messed up."

finnick starts to breathe heavily, panicking. "finnick." zephyr states, trying to make sure she has his full attention, "they made her scared of you. they made her think you're out to kill her."

finnick freezes, his eyes brimming with tears, "she's... she's scared... of me?" zephyr nods, watching tears start to slowly stream down finnick's cheeks.

"it's going to take some time. but, we will get her back." she states softly, watching finnick have a full on meltdown in front of her. "finnick. please. just go." she says softly, looking at him. he sobs, wiping he eyes and nods, walking away. as he walks back to his room, he sees johanna sitting on her bed, glaring at him. "nice job protecting her, finnick. she risked her whole life in their to protect annie. for you. and for what? just for them to hijack her?" finnick stares at her, looking away, and walking into his room, closing the door behind him.

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[bibliophiliac-bisexual-disaster]

As far as book-to-movie adaptations go, The Hunger Games does a pretty good job. But one thing I will never be able to forgive is how dirty they did Finnick.

If you've read the books and watched the movies, you know exactly what I'm talking about. For those of you who don't know, I'll explain. Remember how the District 13 soldiers infiltrate the Capitol to rescue Peeta (and Johanna)? In order to create a distraction for this operation to take this place, the rebels take this opportunity to hack all the Capitol channels. But they need something with sufficient shock factor to capture the Capitol's attention. This is when Finnick steps up and spills some MAJOR TEA in front of the camera. Now, in the books, Finnick's speech is the main focus with the infiltration happening in the background, but the movie does the OPPOSITE (for reasons I will never understand).

People who've only watched the movies don't even know what Finnick said and how important it is because of how the movie overshadows his part there and let's it become fucking background music for the most part.

Finnick talks about how, as a victor, the Capitol sold him (his body that is) to the elite. Basically, they sex trafficked their victors. Keep in mind that Finnick won the games when he was 14. All the victors were minors when they won. And in order to assuage their guilt, to pretend like this was somehow not a really fucking messed up transaction, his "buyers" would offer him gifts- money, jewels, clothes etc. But Finnick figured out a much more valuable thing to exchange. He asked them to tell him their secrets. And because he was dealing the Capitol powerful elite, he learned just how rotten the Capitol was at its core. And the best secret he learned was of how Snow came to power- by poisoning his enemies. And it was from that poison (he also probably had to consume it to prevent his enemies from suspecting something) that he had bleeding sores in his mouth that he tried to disguise with the scent of roses.

Apart from exposing Snow's corruption, Finnick's confession exposes another truth - that the games are never truly over. The victors may leave the arena, but they remain the Capitol's pawns. And if not pawns, they become examples. Johanna and Haymitch were the latter. Johanna was also expected to do what Finnick did. But she basically told the Capitol to go fuck itself and so they killed her whole family. Haymitch had played smart in the arena by using the Capitol's own force field to win. And so they had already killed his whole family (and girlfriend) for that. So they had no one to blackmail him with.

Now think back to what Finnick said to Katniss when they first met. He tells her, "You could have made out like a bandit, jewels, money, whatever you wanted." Katniss ribs at his popularity in the Capitol by talking bout people,"paying for the pleasure of his company, " not realizing just how true that statement was. (He replies "secrets" is you recall). Finnick was alluding to a fate Katniss would have also had to face like other victors if she hadn't been reaped again.

The games were never fucking over. The victors would always be the Capitol's pawns for as long as it suited the Capitol. And I will never be over the fact that the movies quite literally drowned out Finnick's story like that.

[mzannthropy]

Peeta was a pacifist and manipulator. He didn't want to fight, and was more willing to adapt to the Capitol. He comes from privilege, he didn't starve, and he worked in a bakery, unlike Gale. Gale fought for an ideal, he wanted to go to war to be free from Snow, and from all oppression. He wanted a better world, and he knew that he would only achieve this through conflict, through revolution. Peeta didn't want any of this. Neither him nor Katiniss. If she had told Peeta to run away with her, he would have said yes. They both don't care about anyone. Katiniss only gets upset with Gale when she finds out that Prim died, she didn't care about the other children. If it wasn't for the stupid romance, gale would have been an interesting character. That's why Joahna is better than Katiniss, she goes against Snow in front of everyone, she had reasons to fight, she lost everyone she loved, and she cared about people. If I were someone watching the games, I would be willing to fight in a revolution led by Johanna.

I still like Gale, it's the author that ruined it with her love triangle. I think he deserved better from the series. I don't mind that Katniss got together with Peeta, I don't even care, but how hard was it for Suzanne to come up with a female character for Gale to end up with? You're a freaking writer, create characters then! And that Gale wants to fight, of course he wants to fight, you're not gonna bring down a regime like the Capitol by playing nice! Extinction Rebellion once tweeted that peaceful revolutions are the way to achieve one's goals and they got piled on for it (sorry I can't provide the tweet, frankly I can't be bothered to look for it, there are several XR accounts and I don't remember the exact wording, just trust me that I don't tell lies). I mean, non-violent revolutions are a thing (I actually lived through one, and remember it, although I was a child--the Velvet Revolution in then-Czechoslovakia) but you can't do that in the world of Panem. Sometimes you have to choose violence. Suffragettes had to resort to it too. And countless others.

I rewatched Rogue One at the weekend and I think they did it much better. I remember when I first saw this film, I messaged my brother, who is a Star Wars fan, that Jyn to me is what Katniss is to most people. She was apathetic in the beginning and was not bothered about the Empire, but did fight for the rebels eventually, and even lost her life for it. And she has a better love interest. And hotter.

I liked Johanna from the start, much like Finnick. There should have been more of her. But then, the story is narrated by Katniss who doesn't give a hoot about anyone but Peeta.

I've never thought of another character being the leader of the revolution, I suppose it could be anyone who cares enough. I prefer my idea of the Mockingjay being a mythical hero, like a mask or a suit that can be worn by more of them. Like an Iron Man suit, you get me.

[heavensbeehall]

"Mockingjay", Chapter 16

Part 2: The Assault

Chapter 16: Katniss comes back to consciousness (again!) after being shot and remembers the "Stay with me"/"Always" exchange with Peeta from the second book. Johanna Mason--what a queen--shows up to steal some drugs from Katniss. Johanna is addicted to "morphling" now, but in a fun way. Katniss and Gale fight about killing people but District 2 is now in Rebellion hands. Even though she lost a spleen, Katniss is made to return to work. Plutarch talks about "Panem et Circenses" for all the English teachers in the audience. Annie and Finnick are getting married! Katniss is stunned when the cake is wheeled out and it was obviously made by Peeta, who has been getting better after his first breakthrough. At midnight she goes to talk to him (and I have questions about why the staff at 13 is all around at midnight but they are not addressed. Perhaps they wanted a good Hanging Tree reference for this uncomfortable encounter). Peeta is pissy which I will allow since she was tortured for weeks. He sees Katniss through a new lens. She thinks it's "the truth" because she hates herself and is depressed and clearly needs medication--not to the responsibility of a rebellion. But it's more like he sees her through Snow's eyes now. (That women are not to be trusted and love makes you weak.)

Thoughts:

-- This book depresses me a bit and my own mental health hasn't been great lately. I should remind myself there is more Johanna. Because I really do like the part where they are roommates.

-- When Johanna calls Gale "gorgeous" and then laughs, it makes me think she is messing with him the way she did with Katniss in book 2. But I don't know if she is messing with Katniss or Gale, actually.

Quotes:

"You should have been the Mockingjay. No one would've had to feed you lines," I say. "True. But no one likes me," she tells me.

Given that Suzanne Collins has said they have tried to use previous victors (she particularly cited Finnick) as a rallying point for rebellion, I wonder if she says this from experience. The way Johanna won--by pretending for the camers--is actually quite smart. She used the game against the Gamemakers. Her "act" would be mostly in things we know Snow added to the Hunger Games--the interviews, the betting odds etc. If they had just thrown her into an arena, like 1-10th, then this would not be possible to do. Nor do I think crying or being sad to fight to the death is abnormal. We have seen Lamina (also a female tribute from 7) portrayed as somewhat weak during her Games but be mentally tough. I imagine it was easy to dismiss Johanna. But then when she won, it seems (as with many reality shows) she was not lauded for her cleverness but instead portrayed as a liar and a bitch.

Does anyone have strong headcanons about Johanna? For some reason, I assume she had siblings that were killed. Possibly because of how she interacts with Katniss and Finnick, like she is used to having someone close to her who is her age. But that person or persons is gone now.

Somehow staging some perverse wedding between Peeta and me. I haven't been able to face that one-way glass since I've been back and, at my own request, only get updates about Peeta's condition from Haymitch. He speaks very little about it. Different techniques are being tried. There will never truly be a way to cure him.And now they want me to marry Peeta for a propo?

I read a fanfic about this once. Anyway, you will note that Katniss instinctively assumes Plutarch will use her the same way Snow did which doesn't reassure me much about Plutarch's vibes.

... the music is provided by a choir of children accompanied by the lone fiddler who made it out of 12 with his instrument...

We think this is Clerk Carmine's fiddle, yes? I don't know where you would buy a new instrument in 12.

Sure enough, Greasy Sae grabs Gale by the hand and pulls him into the center of the floor and faces off with him

Get it, Greasy Sae! (I do not necessarily hold to the theory that Lucy Gray is Greasy Sae, but I do think--since she sells her wares at the Hob and has been around awhile, she would probably know the most about the Covey. I'd love to interview her for my fictional documentary about the history of the Hunger Games.)

"I must have loved you a lot."

I would like to think that Peeta need not be "in love" with Katniss to give her some bread. It's very "Snow-like" to assume that he would only do that if he was in love with her, and the love was like tricking him into something (which I think is how he comes to see everything he did for Lucy Gray, as some grand manipulation) when it's just normal to not like seeing someone else suffer.

[thesweetnessofspring]

Which The Hunger Games characters :

1. Do you relate the most?

2. Do you think missunderstood by fandom?

3. Do you want to know better?

Please give reasons for your answers. And you can pick more than one character for each question.

Thank you :)

@curiousnonny

My first @curiousnonny ask! This feels like a milestone, thank you!

I have to be honest and first say that as someone with a lot of advantages in life, I'm probably more like people in the Capitol than the other characters. I don't enjoy child murder games, but I remember after CF (the book) came out and I got REALLY deep into the books that I realized...oh wait, I'm like the Capitol because I live in a house and go to school and have enough clothes and food while other kids don't have those things because of how my country uses their poverty to increase our own wealth. In terms of personality...I don't think there is a HG character that I relate to exactly, their world is so different from mine it feels hard to compare. I relate to pieces of them, but I don't have one where it's like, "wow, that's like me!"

I think Katniss is often misunderstood (not by my beautiful mutuals of course--you all have sexy smart brains). It's less of an issue now, but the "girlboss" image that gets pushed onto her is so incredibly far from who she is, and even many in the fandom fell for that movie marketing image of her. Katniss is a brilliantly written character and we're in her head, but as Suzanne Collins put it when comparing her to Bathsheba Everdene, "both struggle with knowing their hearts." So Katniss herself misunderstands what's going on inside her heart, which I think have led people to take one thought or feeling she has and think that is her character. Like people see how she thinks so negatively about herself and hold the same opinion of her, that she's selfish and violent. Or that because she said she didn't want to get married and have kids when she was 16 and heavily traumatized her whole life, that somehow as an adult she "settled" for Peeta but never loved him and that she was "forced" to have kids and never wanted them.

There are so few characters I wouldn't love to know more about! First, I want to know more about Peeta! Specifically about his family and friends and his life before the Reaping. Second, Annie. I would love to explore what exactly her experience with mental illness is, as well as more of the Finnick/Annie relationship. Third, I'd love to know more about Mr. and Mrs. Everdeen--their relationship, their families, the waves they caused getting married, their life adjusting to one another. And last, Mags. Because she saw so much! How did she win her games? What was it like for her being a mentor for 65 years? Did she have a family? How did Snow interact with her, and how did she maintain her humanity and strength when she was associated with the Capitol for so long?

Thanks for the question, nonny!

[broken-everlark]

Do you think hijacked Peeta fell out of love with Katniss? Or did he hate her/was afraid of her but still loved her? Is post hijacked Peeta the same Peeta or a new person altogether? Thank you :)

@everlarkshipper

I feel like he was two different people inside the same head. If that makes any sense here I'll explain🤣

I feel like the old Peeta the one Katniss loves is still in there but beaten and made to hate her. He fights with himself and the bad memories Snow implanted in his head. There are two different people the one that loves her and the one that wants to kill her. But even when he's trying to kill her (either it be the strangling scene or when he kills mitchell accidentally) he's still fighting with himself or this mutt version of him because he's slowly recovering and thanks to the real or not game Finnick and Annie play, it helps him slowly start to recover his true self. And because (Yes I'm going off movie I don't have enough time to re-read thg) you can see him hitting himself in the head, and talking to himself multiple times. Kinda like he's trying to smack himself out of a hijacking episode or tell himself not to hurt her.

I think even when they first rescued him, he was just afraid of what Snow made him see, so he went into a natural instinct every human being has which is fight or flight. We know Peeta is no coward and is very strong so even being hijacked to hate her, I feel like he was mostly afraid because Snow had shown him that she is truly a mutt and that he needs to fight to save himself and others. Because again in the movies he's warning Prim that Katniss is a mutt and she needs to be killed (and If I can remember correctly he's telling delly the same thing in 13 in the books. Correct me if I'm wrong.) So it's not that he fully hates her, because again he could've. But I think he was more afraid for himself and others being around her.

I think he's a new person all together, yes the old loving and caring Peeta is still in there, he's still artistic, caring to others and wants to help, and when he recovers he's comfortable with katniss again and loves her again. I think what changed is he has hijacking episodes once in a while and that he argues more or doesn't let people step on him as easily. Like i feel maybe he curses more or gets aggressive sometimes but not to the point where he'll hurt anyone just he'll get angry or jealous. But knowing him he'd try to be understanding at first but he can't be his neutral self forever.

This is just my look on it, it may be terrible but I'm running on terrible sleep 🤣🤣

(yes I'm going off movies cause again it's been forever since I had enough time to re-read all the books)

[fishcat480]

Dog in Winter

SUMMARY:

Kids from Districts 1-4 don't have to fear the reaping.

Careers always volunteer.

Until a tragic accident forces Lustre Baneswood into the Games with no hope of winning. An actor, and the daughter of a Gamemaker, Lustre has to decide what she desires more: glory or her life.

But there is a dark underbelly to the Games, and winning is not always the end. Lustre Baneswood is going to discover the price one has to pay for beating the odds.

Spanning from the 72nd Hunger Games all the way to three years after the events of Mockingjay, this is the story of a girl struggling to reclaim her identity after giving it away to the people who would hurt her most.

FANDOM: Hunger Games

Pairing: Original Plus Size Character/Original Male Character

Other Characters: Finnick Odair, Annie Cresta, Gloss, Cashmere, Joanna Mason, Katniss Everdeen, Peeta Mellark, President Snow, President Coin, Gale, Prim

It was 5am when the call came.

I’d been awake for hours writing, the only time I was able to get any of it done. Mother doesn’t like my writing, and classes at the observatory took up all of my time during the day. My hands were cramping over the datapad keyboard, and I swiped a knuckle over my bloodshot eyes, trying desperately not to succumb to sleep. 

The sound of the phone had been so unexpected I’d jerked violently upright. With a cursory glance at the time, I quickly padded out of my room and into the empty hall. Moonlight shone in harsh slivers through the full-length windows. I followed the ringing sound through the silver-white hallway and into the main room of our apartment, where the phone lay next to the front door. 

“Hello?” I said, agitation and fatigue coloring my voice. The door to my parents’ room opened and my mother stepped cautiously out, her hair wrapped in a pink silk turban and mouth set in a firm line. My father was just behind her, his eyes horizontal slits, his hair a tuft of downy cotton.

The voice on the phone shrieked at me. “Frederick?! Frederick something’s happened!”

I shook my head before I remembered they could not see me. “No, this is his daughter. Is this an emergency?”

The voice went from feverish to chilly in a moment, freezing my veins like icicles. “Put him on, love. It’s urgent.” 

My father had already begun walking over, and he took the phone from me quickly. “Hello?” he asked, his hands reaching into the breast pocket of his pajamas, where he’d placed a box of matches. He fumbled in the drawer of the side table for smokes.

“Uh- huh…Yes, I remember….”

I watched him for a moment, hoping his body language might clue me into what was going on. When I got nothing, I joined my mother on the opposite side of the room. “ D’ya think everything’s ok?”

She shrugged nonchalantly. “It’s the Games. Everything’s an emergency.”

The Games were the most hectic time of our family’s life, with my father a showrunner and my mother performing in reenactments and singing at parties. Even my brothers had gotten involved now that they were out of school. 

Still, the voice on the phone had sounded scared. Desperate. Something felt off. 

“You’re joking.” my father said, lowering the cigarette from his mouth, and bellowing. “You’re fucking joking.” 

“Fredrick?” my mother asked immediately. My father did not raise his voice ever. He stared at us, his face ashen, as he listened to whatever news was being delivered on the other end. 

“Dad?” I asked, when his eyes locked onto mine and didn’t leave.

“We’ll get another volunteer.” he said, desperate. “There are dozens of kids. Dozens of options.”

Volunteer…?

The reaping had been two days ago, and as expected, both tributes had been volunteers, eager to go into the Games. That’s why I hadn’t even flinched when they called my name. Reaping day was like picture day at school - annoying, but a good excuse to get out of class.

My volunteer had been my best friend. It was her final year in the reaping pool, and her last chance to go into the Games and prove herself. If I could bet, I would have bet on her winning the entire thing. 

But now my father was looking at me like I was a hundred miles away, and talking about other volunteers. Why did we need another volunteer? Where was Razzle?

“Dad!” I cried. “What’s going on?”

Tears had begun falling onto his cheeks, and my mother was lurching forward to hold his face in her hands. The excitement had woken my brothers now, both of them tumbling out of their rooms with mussed hair and slurring voices.

“Luster, what’s happening?” Kellen asked from behind me, he and Jace standing on either side of me. Jace scratched his chest with a lazy hand. 

“Something bad.” I said. That was all I knew. 

My mom was soothing our dad, her hands trying to rub away tears that just kept coming. The phone was pressed to my dad’s ear, still listening. He gently pushed my mom’s comfort away, resignation taking over. Something had happened to Razzle. 

“What time?” he asked. The answer made him sigh. 

“Ok.” And he hung up. My mother didn’t waste any time. “Frederick,what on earth is going on? It’s practically dawn. The Games are your job, not your life. Oh, these people!”

My mother continued ranting, but my father was looking at me again. I knew already that I would be leaving, but my mind was obsessing more over the why.

“What happened to her?” I asked. My mother grew quiet. My brothers looked confused.

“Training accident.”

“Is she…?”

“Yes.”

Dead. Razzle was dead. And she had volunteered in my place.  

“When are they coming to get me?”

“Within the hour.”

My family’s eyes were widening and cries of indignation sounded on their tongues. “She’s going into the Games!?” my mother yelled. “No! Frederick, no!”

“She’s not trained.” Kellen said. Jace said nothing. He wasn’t much for talking. 

“She was reaped!” my father explained. “And her volunteer has died. It is law that she must go.”

My mother’s eyes bugged out of her head. “And you’re a showrunner. Surely they don’t expect the law to apply to us!” 

It often didn’t. 

“This is different. This is the Games. If Luster becomes exempt from them for being my daughter, then other future tributes could argue their way out of participating. Snow would have to weed them out and use force. It could foster dissent.”

It was five in the morning and my family was standing in the living room, talking of treason. 

“It’s fine. I’ll go.”

Kellen scoffed, arms folded across his chest. “You’ll die. You’re not a career, you’re a fucking actress.”

 The heel of my mother’s hands were pressed against her eyes, her perfectly manicured nails curled tightly against the palm of her hand. “Kellen! Please, that’s not necessary.”

My father puffed on his cigarette, lost in thought. Kellen didn’t back down. “She’s not going to live, mom. Am I supposed to just sit here and watch while my sister dies?”

She draped herself across the chaise. “We’ll figure something out. I’ll talk to Pedro in casting. Maybe a lookalike?”

My father joined her, looking intrigued. “That might work. We’ll release her for training, but for the arena it can be anyone. Keep the close-ups to a minimum, kill her in the first ten minutes.”

Jace was still standing next to me. I watched in abject horror as my parents and Kellen planned the murder of an innocent girl in place of myself. I felt something warm on my hand, and looked down to see Jace’s pinky linking with mine. Then his whole hand. When I turned to him, he didn’t look upset or scared. He was smiling at me. 

“Who was the girl who did makeup for you for 68?” Kellen had his hands on his hips, pacing across the living room. He looked the picture of a gamemaker, and it made my stomach swoop like drinking milk that had turned. 

“Petra or something?” he asked. “Get her involved.”

My mother was taking notes on an old script. My father was punching something into a datapad, tugging at his hair in distress. 

“Stop.” I called, but they ignored me.

“We’ll have to keep Luster out of sight for at least a year. Julian will find us a nice little bungalow for her to lie low in.”

“Pay for it now.” my father said. “Travel to the Capitol increases after the Games.”

“Stop!” I said again, and this time I got their attention. 

“You are not killing a random girl just so I can live. That’s actually insane!”

My father shook his head. “No, there are people who like the attention! They’ll do it willingly.”

Willingly….When had someone in a District past four ever gone into a Games willingly? 

“I don’t care. That’s fucked.” I removed my hand from Jace’s and ran it through my hair. “This whole thing is fucked.”

Gently, Kellen approached me. “Luster, I know you’re stressed. Let us …un fuck this for you. A year in lockdown, a new Games will happen, and everyone will forget about it. Then we’ll get you a job at the studio.”

“Doing what?” I laughed. “I’m eager to know what you think I’d want to do at the studio.”

He shrugged, frustration evident. “Stylist? Hair and makeup? I don’t know, Luster! I don’t really care, as long as you’re alive.”

“And what about the other tributes? The ones from 9? Or 12? The ones who don’t have careers to volunteer for them. What about the people who want them alive?”

My mother harrumphed, and somehow she had moved from the chaise to the bar, pouring herself a glass of port. “Oh, sweetie, it’s too early in the morning to develop a conscience.”

But drinking wine, I thought bitterly,  was perfectly acceptable. If I said anything, she’d hold my impending doom up as her reason for indulging. My head was on the chopping block, but she’d be the one to lose blood somehow. I didn’t particularly care to open that can of worms, so I ignored her entirely in favor of turning to my father. 

“Daddy, I don’t want you to get me out of this.”

That statement shifted the temperature of the room greatly. Stillness blanketed us. Kellen punched something hard enough to break it, but I refused to look at what it was. He was always so petulant, and I wouldn’t give into him.

I held my father’s gaze, desperate for him to see things my way, if only for a moment. 

“I’ve done everything you guys wanted. I went to Opal instead of Harrison. I went into acting and not writing. I attended every party, talked to every miserable asshole, wore every stupid outfit. All I want in return is for you to let me go.”

He took a puff from his cigarette, already practically down to the filter. It was funny, watching him smoke. I’d never seen him do it before in my life. Not once.

“Why?”

It was a fair question. The answer was more complicated. Because it’s right …but he wouldn’t understand that. Because she volunteered for me…. He wouldn’t understand that either. Hell, I didn’t even understand why I wanted to go. But Jace was still smiling at me, still believing in me like he always had. Sometimes it felt like he knew what I needed before I even had a chance to do the needing.

“Because she was my best friend….and she was supposed to win.”

My father’s face fell. He may not have understood what was right, but he understood honor. He understood fair.  He nodded slowly, stubbing his smoke out on the arm of the couch. He must have still been half asleep.

“Ok.” 

He didn’t say anything else, and I thanked him quietly before giving him a hug. He held me to him, and it felt like when I was a girl and I would run to him as he came home from work, calling out to him in glee. He’d scoop me up from the ground and press all the pain and grief of his day into my bones, and I took it from him like any other gift. This hug felt like that. He was pressing his grief into my bones, except this time I was grieving too. 

When the peacemakers came, I went willing. Quiet. Everyone knew not to resist a peacemaker, even if you were in the right. Agitation led to aggression. Peacemakers were not aggressive dogs, they were violent ones. Hand biting often led to death.

Kellen had refused to say goodbye. I didn’t entertain his fury, just wrapped my arms around his middle. He didn’t move away, but he didn’t hug me back.

Mother was three pours in by the time I had to go. She blew air kisses and raised her glass. 

Jace gave me a proper hug and kiss, and pulling away from him had been the hardest goodbye of them all. 

“My writing…” I told him, and he nodded. 

“I’ll keep it safe.”

My father had taken helicarriers before. He would be taking one hours after me, headed to the Capitol for the Games. I hadn’t ever had the pleasure. 

While the door was open, wind and sound rotated around you in a maelstrom. There was something happening everywhere. A seatbelt was being placed across my lap, a pilot was checking gauges, the Peacekeepers chatting in even tones. When the door was closed, though, it was silent.

A light thrum of the engine was the only background noise, but I was effectively left alone with my thoughts for an hour. This was not good. 

My thoughts were instantly on Razzle, and with nothing to distract my mind, grief settled in my chest like a purring cat. 

She’d spent the morning of the reaping in my bed. We often had sleepovers, but this one had not involved much sleep. Her hands had touched me roughly, like sandpaper, and I had liked the grit of it. I was always considered so delicate, like glass. Razzle touched me like I was solid stone. 

She’d whispered promises into my hair, weaving them around the strands like the ribbons I would place there hours later. “When I win, we’ll go away.” She’d said. “When I win, we’ll have forever.”

When. There had been no question in my mind that there would be a when. The only question left unanswered was the how.

But now, there was no when or if or how. There was instead. 

We touched down in only an hour. My stomach roiled from the constant vibrations, and when I stepped off it lurched dangerously. Vomit pushed its way onto my tongue. I stopped halfway from the helicarrier and the safety of the roof entrance, the peacekeepers’ hands flying straight to their guns. 

I waved my hand at them to give me a moment, but they grabbed me violently by the arm and shoved me along my way. The nausea bobbed up and down inside me. I tried to keep myself from letting it give way to sickness. 

In the end I didn’t throw up, but I wanted to.

We took an elevator down, down, down. The first District tributes stayed on the first floor, with the second District tributes on the second and so on and so on all the way until the penthouse. District Twelve lived like cattle, so they got treated like kings. We were all being served up on the finest of China, waiting to be eaten whole.

The Peacekeepers kept their eyes trained on me. They wanted me to act out. A peacekeeper craved violence like a horse craved water after a long ride. The one to my left tightened his hand around his baton. I looked down at the floor.

They dropped me off in the first floor suite, where two people waited at the dining room table. I knew them as Gloss and Cashmere, winners of the  63rd and 64th Games respectively. Cashmere sat cross legged on the table, her silky blond hair pulled into a low ponytail. Her pajamas were champagne colored silk and they emphasized icy blue eyes that stared at me with no discernible emotion. 

Gloss stood scowling, his large arms folded across his chest. His pajama pants were silk, too, except in blackest black. Instead of the matching shirt he wore a white T-shirt. 

I felt a bit lackluster in my grey sweats and Opal academy shirt.

“You must be Luster.” Said Cashmere.

I nodded. 

“I’m Cashmere.” She waved, her lips forming into an inhumanly beautiful smile. She was like what you thought of when someone said ‘the prettiest girl you know’. 

“This is Gloss.” She pointed to him and he made no gesture of greeting. He simply stared.

The Peacekeepers that had escorted me were already back in the elevator. I looked around the suite for the first time and noted its distinct Capitol style. The furnishings were modern, with rich golds and deep blacks accenting them. The large dining table was made of frosted glass. A sectional couch took up most of the living room area, its cream colored cushions pristine in the light of a mini chandelier.

“Can I go to bed?” I asked.

Gloss sighed and dropped his arms. It was the first movement he’d made the entire time I’d been there. It was like watching a statue come to life.

“I’ll be your trainer.” He said, ignoring my question.

“Ok great. Can I go to bed now?”

Cashmere looked a bit puzzled. “Do you have any questions for us? I’m sure this has been a difficult transition.”

What a paltry word for what had happened. Transition implied choice, of which I had none.

“I’ll ask them in the morning. I haven’t been to bed and I’d like to get as much sleep as possible.”

Brother and sister stared idly at each other. They appeared to be having some sort of telepathic conversation, much like she’d seen Kellen and Jace do many times. She needed to fall asleep soon or she’d be plagued by memories of home.

The conversation ended when Cashmere motioned with her hand to where the tributes’ rooms were. 

“The door on the left.”

The other tribute had already claimed the room on the right. I would be sleeping in the same place Razzle had. 

I gave a curt nod and exited, my fists balled at my side. I didn’t relax until the door to my room was closed and I was lying on the very plush, inviting bed. 

It seemed the odds were ever in my favor, because no matter how hard I tried, I always seemed to get the short end of a very long stick.

[www-multifandom-com]

Come back to me || Finnick Odair x reader

Warning: mentions of torture (?) , slight angst

District 13 had been attacked. It had almost been an end for many people. Earlier, the room had shook with such intensity that the ceiling was also beginning to crack. Currently, everyone was now safe and alive.

Everyone but one.

Finnick Odair was drowning in self-hate. Y/N was in the Capitol's control for her involvement in safely getting Katniss out of the arena and was no doubt also paying for Finnick and the rebels' escape.

He tried to go back for her. He practically refused to leave until he found her in the arena. At that point, he didn't care about the mission nor was he prioritising his safety. He only wanted his partner to be safe away from the Capitol but before he could get to her, he was paralyzed and brought to an aircraft. When he woke up, he searched frantically for her but as expected, she wasn't there.

He didn't leave his room at all. Most of his time was spent tying knots until Haymitch had enough of his isolation, knowing fully well the effects it had on a person. Reluctantly, Finnick followed him to see a young child with h/c hair with their back facing him. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion and then the child had turned to face him. His eyes widened at the similarities between the child's features to Y/N and it suddenly dawned on him who it was.

Y/N's little sister, Nancy.

She was about 12 years old and looked just as tired as he was. Finnick nervously fidgeted with his fingers, not knowing how the girl would react. He wouldn't blame her if she chose to yell at him with every curse that she could offer or blame him for the capture of her sister. It was silent until Nancy broke it with her sobs. Instinctively, Finnick comforted the clearly grieving girl and swore to himself that he would protect her while his Y/N was unable to.

Finnick bitterly looked at the ceiling. The memories of him meeting her were fresh in his mind almost as if mocking him. A part of him wished that the ceiling could just collapse on him. It pained him to think about Y/N's expression when he breaks the news. He choked back the feeling to just start sobbing then and there. And even if he were to burst into tears, he wouldn't have Y/N's soft words or comforting presence to soothe him.

The longer he thought about it, the more he asked himself why would she have anything to do with him if he couldn't even keep her sister alive. Too occupied in his thoughts, he didn't hear Katniss' footsteps or notice her presence until she awkwardly asked if she could sit.

Finnick sensed that she had something on her mind and sat upright, silently showing he was listening. Katniss looked at the picture in his hand and felt guilty. Nancy was a friend of Prim and had gone back for her but unfortunately, only Prim had been able to get inside. Katniss was lucky enough to only imagine what she would've felt if it was the other way around.

"I'm so sorry." She whispered, both of their stare was still on the picture of a smiling and healthy Y/N. The opposite of what she was currently.

"Snow is using Y/N to punish you. He's taunting us with them. I didn't understand why until just now watching that stupid cat" She revealed while glancing at the cat.

Finnick let out a deep sigh and lowered the picture in his hand. "I feel so defeated." He paused for a moment and continued quietly, "All I had to do was keep her safe and I failed that." It took Katniss a second to realise that he was talking about Y/N but he continued before she could ask. "And then when I saw Nancy... I don't know maybe I saw it like a way for me to forgive myself and keep her safe while Y/N..."

He trailed off in the last part however both of them knew what he meant. "But yet I failed to keep Nancy safe as well." Katniss never felt like she knew Finnick then she did right now. He wasn't the once cocky, arrogant person she once thought he was. Now he looked like a lost puppy.

She remembers clearly when she and Finnick realised that Prim and Nancy weren't with them. They ran for them, calling out their names. Nancy pushed her friend forward to safety before the doors could fully close. The last thing that Nancy heard was screams of Prim and Finnick calling out to her.

"After your first games... I thought the whole romance was an act" Finnick confessed. "We all expected you to continue that strategy, but it wasn't until Peeta's heart stopped and he nearly died that I knew I misjudged you. You love him. I'm not saying in what way; I don't even think you even know yourself, but anyone paying attention can see it. "

Katniss processed the words before asking a question that's been on her mind. "How do you live with it?"

Finnick looked uncertain about how to answer before ultimately saying, "I drag myself out of nightmares and there's no relief in waking up but it's better not to give into it."

"It takes 10 times longer to pull yourself together than it does to fall apart."

Silence took over between the two past victors. Finnick suddenly looked around to make sure no one was looking at them or hearing their conversation. Everyone was either sleeping or doing something else without paying any mind to them.

Katniss looked at him curiously at the sudden movement before Finnick faced her. "Only Nancy knew... " His hand dipped into his pocket and pulled out a small black box. Realisation dawned on her. Finnick opened it and it revealed probably the most expensive ring she's ever seen. She wouldn't have been surprised if it was the most expensive item she ever saw in her 18 years of life.

Finnick looked at it with a sad expression. "I meant to propose to y/n before the reaping. I was done having to keep our relationship a secret and we talked about marriage before." He paused, finding it harder to continue. "But then the reaping happened and... I couldn't find it in me to propose and have her live a life of guilt if I had died in the arena."

Katniss swallowed thickly. She felt a wave of shame going through her. "They could've been happy if it weren't for the reaping. A reaping that was done for past victors to return. A reaping that she most likely caused by my stunt." She thought.

Finnick's voice disrupted her thoughts. "I still want to propose of course but I'm scared... Maybe she doesn't want this anymore."

"I doubt she'd say no." Finnick looked at her. "I mean... No matter what the Capitol did, she's strong. I know I don't know much about her considering the first time we've really interacted is in the arena but... She knows you tried so hard to keep Nancy safe and she loves you."

Finnick looked back at the ring once more and slowly nodded his head. "Come back to me Y/N." He told himself with desperation.

He didn't realise he said it out loud until Katniss said firmly, "We'll get them back. They will come back." She mentally made sure to make Coin organize a mission to get them back. She looked with determination at Finnick and softly whispered, "Y/N will come back."

And she was right since hours later the pair were told of the mission to retrieve the captured victors. Finnick never felt more relieved.

[ellanainthetardis]

Hey. I have a prompt for HADS that just popped into my head. Can you do one where it's during the rebellion but chaff is alive I don't know how. Like they rescue him with Katniss and fi nick and obviously haymitch is there too. But Effie is still in the capital. So can it be like chaff watching him throughout that time and seeing how much Haymitch actually loves her. Pretty please xxxxx

And

Prompt: Hi!Ihave a prompt idea for you: The chaff survives in the arena(can be continued627 of the story) and he witnesses how Haymitch and Effie officially became acouple(maybe they are married) And he says he is very happy for them and theydeserved their happiness. PS. Very sorry for my English,because do not speakthe language and I write with translator:)

Here you are! [X]

Survive, Live, Thrive

1.

The silence in the hovercraft’ssmall medic bay is almost shocking after the screams and the explosions in thearena. It takes Chaff several long minutes to finally relax and stop staring at Beetee’s rapidly rising chest.

He’s not hurt.

Not like Beetee. Not like thegirl who’s lying a few feet away.

He’s not hurt.

He’s alive.  

He’s alive.

So many aren’t.

He looks down at his hand,almost surprised to see the clotted blood. He doesn’t know why he’s surprised.He remembers trying to distract the Careers, to buy the others time to put theplan into action – assuming the plan was still the same one they had roughlyagreed on before the Quell started. He remembers Brutus jumping on him with abattle cry. He remembers thinking “I’mgonna die. I’m gonna die. I’m gonna die.” even as he raised his cutlass.

There’s a long deep gash on hisstump from when he used it as a shield. If he still had a hand, Brutus wouldhave cut it clean off. Again. There’s probably poetic irony in that. The nervesin that part of his arm have long gone dead though and he didn’t even feel thepain. The mistake has cost Brutus his life though. Blade between ribs.Perfectly angled. Blood everywhere.

He doesn’t understand how he canbe alive.

The plan has always been for himto join the others – and he tried –but he was trapped on the other side of the arena from the start.

Brutus dead. Enobaria roaringwith rage in the distance, calling for her former mentor, promising revenge…

The cannon still ringing in hisears…

He remembers running to thetree, remembers spying Everdeen’s long braid in front of him… Beetee’s shoutedwarning…

Toosoon…

But the girl panicked when shedidn’t find the boy there – and so had Chaff because that wasn’t the plan. Peeta had ran off in the woods to find her,Finnick on his heels…

He’s not sure where Finnick isnow. He stormed out of the small room almost as soon as they had checked himout.

Chaff hadn’t followed him.

He met the startled grey eyes ofthe girl back then… Understood she made her own conclusion about that lastcanon…

He tried to tell her to wait because it was too soon…

But then the arrow flew.

And then…

The doors slid open and Chafflooks up at the tired face of his best friend. Haymitch stops next to Everdeenfirst, makes sure the blankets are tucked properly, that she’s not cold… Thenhis fingers brushed the black hair that came loose from her braid away from herface. There’s a tenderness Chaff isn’t used to seeing there. There’sself-loathing on Haymitch’s face too.

“They’ve got the boy, Jo andEnobaria.” his friend says, grim. “It’s confirmed.”

He closes his eyes. “They’re notdead.”

The way he says it is neutral.He’s not sure it’s such a good thing. He has a good idea what the Capitol hasin store for them.

A hand falls on his shoulder andhe startles, instinctively reaching for the cutlass that used to be at his beltand that they confiscated as soon as he put a foot on the hovercraft.Haymitch’s grip is firm and it goes a long way into grounding him though.

“We’re in the clear. They gaveup pursuit.” Haymitch adds. “You’re okay?” He laughs because that’s probablythe only good answer to that question. Haymitch’s lips stretch into a smirk andhe snorts. “Yeah. Guessed so.” Twelve’s victor squeezes his shoulder hardbefore letting go. “I’m glad you made it.”

Chaff nods because he’s notreally in any state to make a joke. “What’s happening out there?”

“Chaos.” Haymitch shrugs. “Ifyou’re up for it, we can use your input in the tactics room. Finnick’s alreadypacing a hole in the floor.”

“No news from Four?” he guesses.“Cresta was supposed to be evacuated, right?”

“We don’t have com with Fouryet.” his friend explains before adding, almost apologetically. “Or withEleven.”

He nods again, not quitesurprised. He’s less worried for his own family than for Cresta though. He’sbeen working with the rebellion for years. He knows the rebel cell in Eleven,knows their leader, knows their agents… He knows they will have taken hissister and her sons to safety at the first sign of troubles. He trusts them. Hetrusts them a lot more than he trusts Thirteen’s people in Four to get Crestaout.

He follows Haymitch to the mainroom, shaking Heavensbee’s hand out of reflex when the former Gamemakeroutstretches his and tells him it’s good to see him… There’s a lot of talksabout Districts rioting and Chaff can only understand half of it because hisears are still ringing so he eventually settles on forcing Finnick to sit downbefore he collapses and on listening quietly.

News from Four comes a littleafter that.

The boy goes white as a sheetwhen it’s confirmed Annie Cresta was taken before the rebels could get to her.Haymitch spares him a sympathetic look but there’s no time for Twelve’s victorto take care of Finnick, not when Heavensbee keeps asking for his opinion, sothat falls on Chaff. He tries to keep his tone light, to tell the boy theywon’t hurt his girl because she doesn’t know anything and it will only take twominutes to figure that much out. Annie’s only a trump card they have no reasonto play until they actually get their hands on Finnick. She’s insurance,nothing more.

Finnick looks at him like he’sstupid.

Chaff feels stupid saying that shit.

Everdeen shows up not long afterthat, screaming like a banshee and attacking Haymitch like an enraged animalonce told they don’t have Peeta. He doesn’t know what’s up with that. The lovestory was for show, that much was pretty much agreed on between all mentors butmaybe reality caught up with fiction at some point. It’s a little heartbreakingto watch the girl fall apart like that. Or it would be if he didn’t feel so…Too much happened in a short time, he doesn’t feel much of anything, truth betold.

He watches Haymitch cradle hersedated body to his chest and carry her back to her bunk. When Haymitch comesback, he looks like he aged ten years.

The news about Twelve come asthey are nearing Thirteen and it’s an off comment about how they have to avoidthat air space at all cost because Capitol hovercrafts are still patrolling.Chaff leaves Finnick to move to Haymitch at that point because the images onthe screens… Twelve isn’t in ruins. It’s destroyed. Erased.

“Survivors?” Haymitch croaksout, his jaw clenched.

Heavensbee checks and thenshakes his head. “We don’t know yet.”

Haymitch is quiet after that,very quiet.

Chaff sticks close anyway,hoping Eleven isn’t in the same state of destruction, hoping Fay and the kidsmade it to safety.

Thirteen is… Not what heexpected and everything he dreaded.

Grey, deep underground and fullof soldiers.

President Coin meets them infront of the hovercraft and Chaff’s been hearing about her for years but itonly takes a few seconds for him to decide he’s probably not going to like hermuch. Then again, she doesn’t look like the sort of women who worries about being liked. He exchanges a brief look with Haymitch and that look saysit all.

“I need to know what’s going onwith Twelve.” Haymitch demands once the introductions are out of the way.

“Let’s move to Command.” Coinsuggests, her milky grey eyes sweeping over the rest of them. “All of you needmedical attention.”

That’s a dismissal if he everheard one and it’s on the tip of Chaff’s tongue to protest.

“Okay, yeah.” Haymitch nodsbefore he can say anything. “The second hovercraft arrived, right? I need myescort to stay with Katniss. If the girl wakes up and there’s no familiarface…”

“Effie Trinket was not on boardof the second hovercraft.” Coin cuts him off. “Her status is unclear.”

You could have heard a pin drop.

Haymitch took the news aboutTwelve with stoicism but, right now, Chaff sees the panic kicking in. The lastdrop that will make the bucket spill.

“What?” Twelve’s victor asksfaintly. “She was supposed to…”

“She wasn’t there.” thePresident repeats, dismissive and uncaring. “It is unclear if she defected tothe other side or if she was taken and, frankly, it is not my priority.”

“But…” Haymitch argues only tobe interrupted by Heavensbee’s comforting hand on his shoulder.

“We’ll find out what happened.”the former Gamemaker promises. “My agents were supposed to get her. Perhapsthere was a complication and they had to go underground. In any case, I toldyou… She is a Capitol citizen and she never gave any cause to doubt herloyalty. She will be safe.”

Chaff scoffs at that because ifthere is one thing Trinket won’t be alone in the city, it’s safe. Everyone knows she and Haymitchare sleeping together. They can deny it all they want, it’s obvious to everyonewith eyes. And what’s even more obvious, in his opinion, is that they’re in sodeep they’ve got each other under their skin.

He doesn’t get the whole storyabout Trinket until later, once he’s lying in a hospital bed and Haymitchstaggers in his room and drops on the chair next to the bed only to grab hishead between his hands and start rocking on himself.

“What did I do?” Twelve’s victorwhispers with horror.

“The right thing.” Chaff swearsbecause it’s no time to wonder if they should have gone to Snow instead. Thereare always deals to be made, after all. Deals that may have save the boy, hisDistrict and his escort.

“They’re gonna torture them.”Haymitch says quietly, still with that touch of horror in his voice. “Peeta.Jo. They’re gonna torture them for sure.”Chaff remains silent because there is nothing to say. Yes, they will betortured. Annie, he doesn’t think so. Because she doesn’t know anything usefuland that much will be obvious. She will probably not have a good time but shewill be as safe as can be given the circumstances. He spares a thought forEnobaria and hopes, despite the fact they’re not exactly friends, that the girlwill be smart enough to keep on playing the Career card and that it will beenough to save her. And then there’s… “They have Effie. Plutarch’s team was toolate.” Haymitch continues. “They got her.”

“You knew the risks, buddy.”Chaff reminds him, not unkindly.

“But she didn’t.” he counters. “And she doesn’t know a fucking thing… They’re gonna rip her toshreds and she doesn’t know a fuckingthing… I just told her to follow Plutarch’s agents, I told her to be ready… I… Fuck Heavensbee. Shouldn’t have trustedhim. Should have kept her with me.”

“She doesn’t know anything…Yeah, she might have a hard couple of hours but they might leave her aloneafter.” he points out.

Haymitch chuckles and it’s darkand bitter. “Sure. ‘Cause they won’t use her to make the boy talk,yeah? They won’t use her to torture me,yeah? She’s a traitor. You get that?She’s a fucking traitor now. She wentand got those stupid tokens, she’s got that stupid Mockingjay braid under herwig…” His voice breaks. “They’re gonna rip her to shreds. All because of me. It’s happening again… It’s…”

“You need to get a grip,Haymitch.” he interrupts. “Trinket’s not the priority. She never was. She’s anescort, she’s gonna be fine.” His best friend looks at him then and Chaffbarely recognizes him. The defeated expression on his face, the haunted look inhis eyes… They can’t afford that. “She’s gonna be fine. They’re probably gonna release her in a few hours.” heinsists and the lie tastes like lead on his tongue.

2.

Sometimes, Chaff wonders why healways ends up sitting on a chair next to Haymitch’s hospital bed, waiting forhim to wake up.

That’s how they met in the firstplace.

The kid had no mentor and whileno Gamemaker has ever blinked an eye at sending kids in an arena without amentor to supervise and only a clueless escort to make deals on their behalf,they find it dangerous to leave a brand new victor to his own devices. Or maybeit was Haymitch they found dangerous.

Chaff liked the boy’s style fromthe first moment it became obvious he was looking for the limits of the arena.

Mags would have stepped up if hehadn’t claimed it would make more sense for him to do it. After all, he’s onlyfive years older and he didn’t have a victor to take under his wing yet. So hesat in the Games Clinic, waiting for the Quell’s victor to wake up and when theboy finally opened his eyes he lied about having pulled the short straw.

Chaff couldn’t say he hadplanned on Haymitch becoming his best friend, the little brother he neverwanted and the best kid he could have hoped for all rolled into one. They’re friendsfirst and foremost, equals, their relationship not tainted by the instinctiverespect a victor always develops for their mentor… But there are times whenChaff feels like his mentor, not hissuperior but…

He loves Haymitch, it comes downto that in the end.

Maybe he’s only five years olderbut Haymitch’s his kid. He’s the onewho showed him the ropes, he’s the one who hugged him when the sixteen yearsold finally broke down one night on his Victory Tour, he’s the one who offeredhim his first whiskey – on retrospect maybe not the best decision he ever made– he’s the one who taught him to always use a condom, he’s the one who wasthere every step of the way when Haymitch started his slow but steady descentinto alcoholism, he’s the one who comforted him every time he was sold – and itmight not have happened often and Haymitch might like to pretend it hadn’t atall but it had – he’s the one whowatched him get in too deep with his escort and warned him, time and timeagain, that it wouldn’t end well…

Haymitch’s his kid, his brotherin everything but blood, and he loves him.

And it kills him every time heends up waiting on a chair for him to wake up. How many times has he ended upthere during the Games? How many times has Haymitch drunk to the point they hadbeen forced to pump his stomach? How many time has Haymitch ended up injuringhimself by accident? At least he hopes it was accidental. With victors it’salways hard to tell.

And now this.

He’s not entirely sure how longhe’s been sitting on that chair. Thirteen isn’t exactly understanding withaddicts. He knows just how much Haymitch has been dreading getting sober and hethinks he was right to be wary. Chaff’s been expecting medical care not… this. If he hadn’t made a fuss, they would havejust tossed him in a padded cell and waited for him to either crawl out or die.

The hospital room has beenstripped to the bare minimum as it is: a bed, no sheets in case Twelve’svictors tries to kill himself with them, and a chair Chaff has to take out ofthe room every time he leaves. It kills him to see Haymitch strapped to thatbed.

It kills him and they’re pastthe worst of it.

Haymitch fought so hard againsthis bounds for days that, padded or not, they left nasty bruises and shallowcuts around his wrists and ankles. He’s been calmer for a day or two, out of itstill but less likely to scream himself raw, scared by imaginary fire orhallucinations that torture him.

What Chaff hates the most,though, is the disrespectful way the medical staff treats him. With loathing.As if he is weak to have gotten addicted in the first place. Nobody gets addictedin this District. They don’t have enough of a personality for that. They’re… drones.

He believes in the rebel cause.

But he’s not sure he believes inThirteen’s.

“Effie…” Haymitch mumbles.

And, like every time this hashappened in the last week, Chaff reaches out and pats his leg. “She’s not here,buddy.”

He’s not sure he understoodbefore.

Sure, he knew Haymitch wasgetting in too deep, that feelings were developing and that it was not onlystupid but dangerous – and he wasproven right because Trinket’s now in the Capitol, probably being tortured –but he didn’t know it was… He’s been listening to Haymitch screaming her namefor days, begging for her when he wasn’t begging for liquor, sobbing her namein the worst of the delirium…

He’s been aware Haymitch hasfeelings for a while…

But this… This is more than justfeelings. This is…

Haymitch’s in love with her.

Not infatuated, not justattached, it’s… Love.

“News?” Haymitch asksfeverishly, his grey eyes focused for once.

It’s the most lucid Twelve’svictor’s been for days.

“Not many.” Chaff denies.“Katniss’s still pretty much catatonic. They’re talking about bringing her toTwelve, let her see for herself…” He shrugs. “Not sure what good it’s gonna dobut it’s been made clear I’m not her mentor and I’ve got no say. No news fromthe Capitol.”

Haymitch blinks slowly, tries tolift his hand, probably to rub his face, and finds it impossible because of thepadded cuffs. He doesn’t ask Chaff to undo them and Chaff doesn’t offer.

He argued against them in thebeginning but Haymitch got violent and dangerous – for others and for himself.

“Your family?” Twelve’s  victor asks next.

“They’re safe.” He smiles. Hecan’t help it because there’s little joy to find around here but this at leastis his own personal ray of sunshine. “They’re still in Eleven, in hiding. Butthey’re safe. The rebels almost secured the District. It’s a matter of days atmost.”

“Good.” Haymitch mutters andthen closes his eyes only to open them again. “Can you call Effie? I need her… Ineed…”

His friend’s grey eyes areclouded and Chaff doesn’t want to add to the pain and misery he must be in. Sohe lies. “She’s been with you all night. She’s sleeping now. She needs to resttoo, yeah?”

“I miss her.” Haymitch whispersand Chaff winces when he realizes the younger victor is tearing up. Haymitch isnever very open with emotions and he’s been watching him cry and sob for thelast week or so. Withdrawals destroy a man.

“I know, buddy.” he sighs. “Iknow. She’ll be back soon.”

Hopefully.

“I’m tired.” Twelve’s victorconfesses, his eyelids drooping.

“Get some more sleep.” headvises.

“Not safe.”  Haymitch argues.

“I’m staying right here.” heswears. “You’re as safe as can be.”

3.

It takes him hours to trackHaymitch down after the victors’ rescue.

He watched the stylists and theprep team as well as a few Capitol agents being executed in Command butHaymitch has ignored his insistent staring, his own eyes riveted to the screen.His friend held his breath. The whole time Haymitch has hold his breath,waiting for whom they would bring next.

Then, Heavensbee dragged him totalk to the boy’s doctors and Chaff lost him.

He finds him eventually, in thecompartment they share, sitting on the floor with his back to the wall, in amess of broken furniture and ripped up clothes.

“Love what you’ve done with theplace.” Chaff comments, picking up the one chair that doesn’t look too broken. He straddles it carefully,making sure it will hold his weight. “You destroyed my stuff too or just yourown?”

Haymitch doesn’t answer butChaff wasn’t expecting him to. The fight left his friend, that’s plain to see. Theyounger victor toys with the golden bangle that hasn’t moved from his wristsince Finnick gave it back, a hollow look in his eyes.

“She’s not dead.” Chaff saysbecause someone needs to say the words aloud.

It’s been in Haymitch’s head sincethe rescue team came back without his escort. Boggs promised Haymitch if theyfound her and if it was doable, they would grab her but they didn’t find her.And now Portia Rose and the boy’s prep team have been executed on live TV asretribution for the rescue and if there ever was a good timing to publicly dealHaymitch a fatal blow it has been it.Executing Trinket right then would have made the most sense.

And since they haven’t, it mightmean she’s already…

“Haymitch.” he insists. “Youdon’t know she’s dead. Maybe that’s the point. Keep you guessing. Distractyou.”

“It’s my fault.” Haymitch says.So quietly he almost doesn’t catch it.

“No.” Chaff sighs. “Snow’s asick bastard. You know that, buddy.He’s toying with you, that’s all. He kept Cresta in case he got his hands backon Finnick. It’s probably the same thing.”

Haymitch shakes his head anddrops it against the wall with a painful thud.“Staying alone is the only way to stay safe. That’s what you taught me.”

“Yeah…” He looks down. “Not muchof a life though.”

And he wishes Haymitch hasn’ttaken that advice so close to heart. He hasnever made the mistake of settling down. There have been women – countlesswomen – and one or two who could have made his life that much sweeter, one or two he wouldn’t have minded marrying andhaving babies with… But never has he made the mistake of dragging someone else inthis life. He already has his sister and his nephews to look out for and that’senough, the knowledge that they would be the ones to pay for his deeds…

But he has Fay and the boy. Who does Haymitch have? It’s no wonder he tookso fiercely to those kids. Mentors always are protective of their tributes butit hasn’t taken Chaff very long to figure out Haymitch adopted those two likethey were his own well before they even actually won their Games. The girl… Thegirl is so much like a young Haymitch used to sometimes, the things she wouldsay or do, that Chaff has to do double-takes and stop himself from asking themother how long she’s really knownhim. And the boy… He hasn’t had a lot of chances to get to know the boy beforethe Quell started but from what he’s been told… He’s impossible not to like,too genuinely kind to be dismissed or ignored.

Haymitch took to those kids likea fish to water and after so many years alone wasting away…  

He’s not stupid enough not tohave realized Trinket’s been the only guilty pleasure he’s been allowinghimself on that front. Haymitch had plenty of women before but none with whomhe connected like he has with her.Short of another victor to share the burden with, he let Trinket fill thatrole, be his partner, his support…

It hasn’t stopped Chaff fromthinking it wasn’t a great idea.

It’s perfectly alright to fuck an escort as long as it’s all aboutfucking the Capitol… Gettingattached, now…

“I love her.” Haymitch whispers,swallowing hard. “I didn’t know… I love her.”He’s not quite sure what to say to that. He’s guessed already but to actually hear it from his mouth… It’s notsomething Haymitch would admit to anyone else either. Not to Finnick. Certainlynot to his Mockingjay. Haymitch closes his eyes, licks his lips. “It’s gonnakill me. If she’s dead… If… It’sgonna kill me. It’s all my fault,Chaff. I love people and they die. But her?I can’t… If she…”

“She ain’t gonna die.” he cutshim off firmly and he hopes, he fucking hopesthis isn’t going to come back to bite him in the ass because he doesn’t dopromises he doesn’t keep and this feels too much like sending a tribute in thearena and promising him he will come back a victor. “She’s Effie Trinket. She’stoo fucking stubborn to die.”

And she loves life too much togive up. She’s full of it. That’s part of what he hates so much about her. Howalive and vibrant she always is when the rest of them are half-dead inside. Heresents it. He laughs and jokes and is always in a good mood but only becauseit’s the only way he’s found to keep on. She laughs and jokes and is always ina good mood because she’s full of bloodysunshine and he doesn’t find that as attractive as Haymitch does.

“She’s alive.” he persists andthe more he says it, the more he believes it.

She has to be.

He’s too scared Haymitch won’tsurvive the alternative.

4.

He waits by the truck outsidethe Capitol prison, taking nervous drags of a cigarette he nicked from aPeacekeeper prisoner inside and he keeps his eyes on the clear blue skyoverhead. The prison’s walls are all smooth stones, almost inconspicuousamongst the other buildings in the street. Hidden in plain sight.

Well…

It must have been inconspicuousbefore the rebels invaded the Capitol.

Now it’s all ruins. The prison’swall’s blown up, matching several buildings down the streets, there are hugecraters in the road and it’s taken them almost an hour to get there with thetruck from the Presidential Mansion even though Chaff’s pretty sure it wouldn’thave taken them more than twenty minutes before the war.

The destruction makes him sickto his stomach.

It’s not that he particularlylikes the city although he has some good memories in it and he doesn’t have anylove lost for the Capitols but he can’t help but feel sorry for the innocentpeople who got caught in the middle. He’s always made a difference between theassholes in the known – escorts, Gamemakers, sponsors: the elite – and the guy behind the bar at his favorite club or thewaitress in that little café that must have been blown to smithereens by now. They’re innocent. Stupid, yeah.Brainwashed, clearly. But innocent.

And now the rebels are murderingthem in the streets for the smallest offense.

Not Thirteen’s soldiers. Thoseare disciplined, a well-oiled military machine too used to obeying orders… Butthe rebels from the Districts, those whose hatred for the Capitol as an entityhas been simmering for years… They aredangerous. They’re bloodthirsty and high on their victory and Coin can keepcalling to a ceasefire all she wants, it’s not enough to cull their thirst forrevenge.

Then again, Coin can pretendshe’s above this, Chaff knows the truth of what happened at the City Circle andthat too makes him sick.

More dead kids.

And the whole war seemsworthless now.

He flicks the ash off and takesanother nervous drag, wishing Haymitch had let him come with him. He doesn’ttrust Heavensbee to handle Haymitch if he loses it – and if that Peacekeeper doesn’tstop taunting him with everything he’s done to Trinket or if Trinket’s dead, heis going to lose it in a spectacularway. He should have insisted, maybe. But Haymitch told him he wanted to do thisby himself and he respected his wishes. Stupidly. Because that’s what bestfriends do.

He hopes Trinket’s not dead. Fuck, he really hopes Trinket’s not dead.

Katniss is alive for now but thedoctors warned it’s still touch and go, the burns are extensive and it’s notguaranteed she will survive them. The girl’s sister is dead and Haymitch didn’tsay but Chaff can tell he liked the kid a lot. Finnick… He’s not even goingthere. He’s not even going to think about thatbecause he will march into the prison and beat a random Peacekeeper to apulp if he does. The Circle’s bombings… Watching those kids die…

Chaff feels on the edge himselfbut for Haymitch it’s personal andpainful and it won’t take much more to push him over the cliff.

And when he spots his friendmarching out of the building with a small dirty thing in a tattered prisonuniform, tightly wrapped in his jacket, cradled close to his chest… Eleven’svictor’s next breath remains stuck in his throat. He tosses the cigarette andautomatically crushes it under his boot, not daring going to meet him.

She’sdead, he thinks. She must be. Thewoman in Haymitch’s arms… Her hair is brown with muck, her skin is covered withdirt and he can guess at wounds where the jacket doesn’t keep her covered… But,above all, she’s still and limp. Herface is pressed against his neck as if it fell there when he picked her up…

Heavensbee is trailing afterhim, his face closed. It takes Chaff a second to realize the former Gamemaker’sshaking.

There’s blood on Haymitch’shands and on his forearms. Somehow, he doesn’t think it’s all Trinket’s.

He doesn’t ask though. Not hisplace. If it were his sister… Hell, if it were his woman… That Peacekeeper was looking for it anyway. You don’t goand taunt a victor like that.

“We’re going back to theMansion.” Haymitch snaps at the soldier who’s been driving the truck and who’sbeen lurking not too far. “And make it faster than the trip in.”

Chaff opens the door to the backseat without questioning his friend’s orders, finally breathing out in reliefwhen he spots the telling rise and fall of her chest. It’s small and it doesn’tlook promising but it’s there and as long as she’s breathing, it’s not too bad.

“I will stay to check with theother prisoners.” Heavensbee announces suddenly. “Some of my agents are inthere.”

“Whatever.” Haymitch spits outwithout a look and climbs in. The moment he adjusts his grip on her, Trinketcurls up on his lap, leaving an empty seat.

Chaff climbs in too and shutsthe door just in time for the soldier to start driving.

“How bad is it?” he asks, tryingto get a good look at her.

“Bad.” Haymitch grits throughclenched teeth. “Something’s wrong with her eyes. I think she was in the darktoo long. And I hurt her when I picked her up. Her shoulder feels weird. Likeit was put back in its socket the wrong way. There are infected wounds, she’sgot a fever and…”

She reeks of death.

Chaff doesn’t say it but she does. It’s a dozen different smells allinto one: body waste, clotted blood, pus, unwashed flesh…

Haymitch’s breath is quick andhe holds her tighter, prompting her to whine.

She’s conscious.

Chaff sees her blink quickly andthen press her face against Haymitch’s neck as if she can’t bear the light.

“Could be worse.” he points out.She looks like a skeleton and it’s not a hard leap to make to guess it’s been awhile since she last had a decent meal. All of that can be made right though.She’s alive. She doesn’t look on the brink of death – not too much at least…

“She ain’t talking.” Haymitchsays quietly, burying a hand in the bird nest that’s her hair and pressing along kiss on her forehead. “She ain’t… She ain’t here.”

It really must be love, Chaffthinks, because he wouldn’t have put his mouth anywhere near her at the moment.

“Give her a minute, yeah?” headvises. “Take it easy.”

“You don’t get it.” Haymitchgrowls. “That cell… It was a hole. I had to crawlto get her. They buried her alive. They fucking…”

“Buddy.” he cuts him off firmlybecause she’s curling up into a small ball and she’s shaking. “Easy. You’re frightening her.”

Haymitch lets out a long deepbreath and rests his cheek against the top of her head, gently coiling a handaround her nape. “Sorry, Princess… Didn’t mean to get angry… It’s alright. I’vegot you now. I’ve got you. You’re safe. You’re with me. I’ve got you.”

She’s a pitiful little thing andhe still doesn’t like her much but he still reaches out and takes her hand.

“It’s okay, love.” he promisesin a soft voice. “We’ll keep you safe.”

5.

The day he finds Haymitch passedout drunk for the first time in months is the day he finally visits EffieTrinket’s hospital room.

He’s been in and out during thefirst days, when she was still completely out of it, unable to utter a coherentword and jumping off the bed to curl up in the corner every time she woke up.He stopped going when Haymitch finally managed to coax her into saying his namefor the first time and gradually brought her back to sanity. They’re  not friends and he doesn’t want to imposewhen she’s obviously struggling to recover.

He can’t imagine the pain she’sin – well, he can actually because helost a hand once and surprisingly thecutting isn’t the most painful part of losing a limb – the doctors had totake her apart to make her whole again: dislocate the shoulder to pop it backthe right way – apparently the first time was Jo’s hasty handiwork – severalsurgeries to thoroughly clean the infected wounds before it could morph intogangrene – and it came close – dimmed lights to help her eyes readjust tonormal lighting… It’s been difficult and she’s frustrated with a body thatwon’t respond to her the way it used to.

He knows it’s not totally herfault but he can’t help but resent the way she treats Haymitch.

One second she clings to him,the next she pushes him away.

She’s angry, confused, scaredand traumatized.

He gets that.

He does but… When she screams at Haymitch that everything’s his faultand that she hates him, it breaks his friend to pieces and Chaff’s on his side,always and without question. It doesn’t matter that he gets she also has aright to that anger. Haymitch’s barely hanging on right now, he spends all histime in hospital rooms when he’s not working with Heavensbee to make sureTrinket escapes the Purge.

As far as Gamemakers, escorts,stylists, prep teams and Games staff go, it’s a bloodbath. Mockery of publictrials, live executions…

It’s too easy to remembervictors could have been judged the same way if Katniss hadn’t secured immunityfor them.

He doesn’t bother knockingbefore walking in Trinket’s hospital room. Maybe he should have because she’swearing only a sport bra and the ridiculous purple leggings Haymitch thoughtwould cheer her up, and she tenses as soon as she sees him. Recognitionflickers in her eyes and she relaxes a little but she still reaches for asweater only to toss it away with frustration when she remembers the sling herarm is trapped in.

“Have you come to gloat?” shehisses.

It’s unwarranted and so far fromher usual polite tone that he’s taken aback for a second.

“I’ve come ‘cause whatever yousaid to Haymitch today, it drove him back to whiskey.” he shrugs and closes thedoor behind him. “Didn’t get much out of him. I’m guessing your physicaltherapy didn’t go well.”

She has sessions twice a day andHaymitch always makes sure he’s there for them because… It’s not going well andTrinket tends to cut them short. He knows Jo stayed once or twice and that itdidn’t end in a better fashion.

She flinches at the accusationand tosses him a guilty look, hugging her legs close to her chest with her goodarm. She doesn’t lean against the pillow at the head of the bed, he notices,but, then again, given the state her back was in a few weeks ago only, it musthave become habit to avoid putting pressure on it.

The scars he can see aren’tpretty and he supposes she’s self-conscious about those but he refuses to averthis gaze and, after a few seconds, she juts her chin in the air. That’s a goodsign. That’s more like the Trinket he knows.

“My apologies.” she sayseventually. “I was rude to you.”

“Yeah. But I don’t care.” heshrugs and drops on the free chair without waiting for her to invite him to.“We need to have a talk about our boy, you and I.”

“I did not mean to shout.” shesighs and she looks defeated. She looks old.“I just… I do not like him coming to those sessions. I told him but he comesanyway and…” She lets her voice trail off. “I do not like him seeing me likethis.”

“If he doesn’t come, you don’teven try.” he points out.

“I am tired.” she whispers,begging him to understand. “I am so tired.”

“You want to be able to use thatshoulder again?” he challenges. “’Cause from what I’ve been told, heavyphysical therapy’s your only shot at getting back a decent range of movements.”

“I know.” she snaps. “I do notneed you or Haymitch or Johanna to tell me. I am perfectly capable ofunderstanding what the doctor says. I just… It is too difficult. Why can’t youall understand that? It is toodifficult and I am tired. I am tired.I do not want Haymitch seeing me like that, I do not want him to hold my handwhile I struggle to lift my arm an inch, I do not want…”

“That’s all it’s about?” he cutsher off. “’Cause if you blame him for what happened to you…”

“I don’t.” she says but she’snot looking at him. “He and Plutarch explained everything.”

“Doesn’t matter.” he counters.“You were hurt. You were scared. I’m guessing they said nasty things about youand Haymitch back there…”

“I won’t betray him.” she almostsnarls. “I did not lose faith in that cell, I won’t betray him now. I just… Ineed space. I need space but sometimes I need him. And I know it is unfair to him. I know I am horriblesometimes. I do know.” She shakes herhead, her eyes shining with tears. “I just want…”

“You want everything to go backto how it was before.” he finishes for her. “But that won’t happen, love.”

“I do not mean to hurt him.” sheconfesses. “But those sessions… I am inpain and…”

“Yeah, I get it.” He thinks itover and then he shrugs, a bit reluctantly. “I’ll do it with you. Thesessions.”

She frowns. “I beg your pardon?”

“Look… I don’t care if you shoutat me and I won’t let you quit.” he offers. “I can be your physical therapy buddy.”He clears his throat awkwardly. “Besides… We better learn to get along witheach other now, Trinket. For Haymitch’s sake if nothing else. What do you say?Truce?”

She studies him for a second andthen forces a small smile. “Truce.”

6.

Chaff averts his eyes whenHaymitch hugs Trinket, glad to have hung back a few feet away to give themtheir privacy.

They’re in front of the TrainingCenter. He and Trinket aren’t allowed to pass the doors and once Haymitch isinside, he won’t come out again. There’s a hovercraft on the roof, ready topick him and Katniss both up and bring them to Twelve as soon as Heavensbeewould arrive. To say that Haymitch isn’t keen on the idea is an euphemism buthe will do what he must for the girl and it’s either exile to Twelve under hissupervision or life imprisonment.

Whatever they whisper to eachother, it doesn’t carry to him. They said their goodbyes already, Chaffguesses, but it doesn’t make it any easier. Haymitch is torn over this. Heasked Trinket to go with him but she declined. She wants to stay with Peeta.She wants to try to find her footing back by herself.

When Haymitch comes toward him,Chaff smiles and offers his hand, using the grip to pull his friend into a bearhug. He claps his back twice.

“Keep in touch.” he demands.

“Take care of my girl.” Haymitchrequests.

His decision to stick around inthe city for a while isn’t exactly subtle. Haymitch can’t be here and Trinket isn’tentirely recovered yet. It makes sense for him to stay given that everyone elseis leaving. Annie decided on going back to Four and Jo left with her. Beeteehasn’t been the same since the City Circle’s bombings and left for Three assoon as he was able. Haymitch doesn’t want Trinket to be left completely aloneand after weeks spent helping her using her shoulder again, Chaff’s a littletoo invested to just abandon her to her fate. So he’s sticking around. At leastuntil he’s sure she’ll make it by herself.

Most days, even if it kills himto admit it, he thinks he understands what Haymitch sees in her now. He even thinksthey’re friends.

“I rather think I will bethe one taking care of him.” Trinket huffs from the side, a pout on her lips.“I am usually the one making sure the two of you behave.”

“Goes without saying,sweetheart.” Haymitch snorts, letting go of Chaff to frame her face in hishands.

Chaff rolls his eyes when hisfriend kisses her – because Haymitch has a nasty habit of doing that every timehe thinks he can get away with it – but he can’t deny them this goodbye.

7.

Twelve is a small Districtcompared to others but rebuilding and expansion never stops and Chaff is stillcompletely lost despite having been there a couple of times. He stubbornlykeeps going at random until he finally gives up and asks an old woman the wayto the Victors Village. Five years of peace were enough that most people don’tautomatically put a name to his face and he reaches Haymitch’s house withoutbeing recognized.

There are fat geese wanderingaround the yard and he can’t help his chuckles, pretty sure Trinket isn’t fondof Haymitch’s pets.

He tosses his travel bag on theswing seat on the porch and knocks on the door. He’s smiling wide long beforeit opens on Trinket who squeals in obvious surprise.

“Chaff!” she exclaims withdelight and tosses her arms around his neck.

And if one day you had told himhe would ever be glad to see Effie Trinket, he would have laughed at your face.

He hugs her back – and keeps hishand and his stump in proper placesbecause it’s one thing to rile up his best friend’s escort and another tofondle his girl – frowning a littlein confusion. “You weren’t expectingme?”

“Should I have?” she asks,frowning too when she steps back.

“Sorry, forgot to tell you hewas coming.” Haymitch lies smoothly, stepping out of the living-room. “Chaffwanted some holiday. Told him he was welcome to stay a few days…”

“Well, of course, he is welcome.” Trinket huffs as if it’s obvious. “Do come in.”

He’s ushered inside and settledin the living-room before he can say anything, Trinket immediately disappearinginto the kitchen to fetch something to drink – because it won’t be said thatshe’s not a good hostess.

“Care to explain?” he asksHaymitch in a low voice, once he’s sure she can’t hear them. “’Cause you said come as soon as possible and here I ambut I sure ain’t here for a holiday…”

He hopes there’s not any troublein paradise because he doesn’t want to deal with a brokenhearted Haymitch. Hisfriend’s been happier than he’s ever seen him since Trinket moved to Twelve andas far as he knows everything’s fine – never perfect but fine.

Haymitch doesn’t lookbrokenhearted though. He’s smirking hard when he drops on the couch next tohim. “I’m gonna need a best man.”

Chaff’s face lights up and heclasps his friend’s shoulder, laughing in genuine joy. “Finally found the ballsto ask her, buddy? Good for you. Good for you…”

“Haven’t asked her yet.” hedenies, shaking his head. “Annie and Jo are coming tomorrow. When everyone’shere… I’m gonna ask her then. And we get married the day after. No fuss, nopress. Nobody knows except you and the boy.”

Chaff lets out a long whistle. “You’resure of yourself? ‘Cause your girl, she’s fussy.She’s gonna want a party.”

“All taken care of.” Haymitchdismisses. “Peeta’s been working on the cake. I’ve got Sae ready to cook afeast. Once the girls get here, we’ve got all our family in one place. And I’vegot a tux ready. She’s gonna bitch about the dress but I’ve got a deal with oneof the shop girls in town… She’s gonna make sure she gets the shop all toherself for a few hours tomorrow night.”

He can’t help but actually beimpressed. “And I’m the best man?”

“Who else?” Haymitch snorts.“But don’t spill the beans before tomorrow, right?”

“You’ve got a ring?” he asksbecause that seems like the only thing Haymitch didn’t think about.

“Yeah.” His friend chuckles thenand Chaff can’t remember the last time he heard Haymitch sound so carefree, so happy. When he was sixteen probably,before he learned what had happened to his family. “I know it’s a bit crazy andstupid… We’re too old to get married and it won’t change much anyway but… Iknow she wants it so… Whatever,right?”

“Right.” he approves and claspshis shoulder again because as crazy and stupid as it is, he’s happy for hisfriends. “You deserve this. Both of you.”

“What is it we deserve?” Trinkethums, coming back with a tray loaded with stuff they won’t drink or eat.

“Being happy.” Chaff shrugs.

Trinket’s face softens, her lipsstretching into a fond amused smile. “How sappy but very right of you.”

Chaff rolls his eyes at herteasing but can’t help smiling himself.

It’s in moments like this he’s really happy to have survived thatQuell. He loves spending time with his sister and nephews but he never feelslike he belongs as much as when he’swith his adopted family.

[heavensbeehall]

"Catching Fire", Chapter 27

Part 3: The Enemy

Chapter 27: Chaos reigns. Katniss is pulled into a hovercraft by Plutarch Heavensbee. She wakes up a couple times and tries to die, but is not allowed to. Beetee is there, but she sees no other victors. She grabs a syringe and tries to find Peeta, so she can mercy kill him before they can be tortured. Instead she finds Plutarch, Haymitch and Finnick talking. They explain about the rebellion and the plan in the arena. When Haymitch tells her Peeta was left behind, she attacks him and claws at his face with her fingernails. They sedate her again. Finnick tries to say they will keep Peeta alive as bait, just like Annie. More sedation. Gale arrives and tells her District 12 has been bombed.

Quotes:

I realize the Gamemakers are shooting off fireworks up there

??? Isn't this the explosions of the arena coming apart?

Perhaps they never intended to have a victor in these Games at all.

But who will watch the Games if there is no Victor? /tbosas reference

My worst fears are confirmed when the face that greets me inside the hovercraft belongs to Plutarch Heavensbee, Head Gamemaker.

Can we talk about Plutarch a bit? I suppose the blog title might lead you to believe I am a stan, but I just chose it because it's a reference to the Academy school and I feel like I'm making notes in the margins and flagging passages like I did when I was an English major.

I saw something--can't remember if it was a video essay or text essay--that said the end of Mockingjay is bad because Plutarch can just manipulate everyone again however he wants. And I sort of disagree. I think Plutarch has somehow learned how Snow does it, and is doing it for good reasons. He wants to end it. But that doesn't mean he's "good." He gets a lot of people killed, injured, hijacked, etc. And he says he'd put Katniss through it all again for the outcome. She's a 17-year-old girl. He put her through hell. But he's not sorry.

He reminds me a bit of Luthen Rael (if you haven't watched Andor, and like rebels fighting against an evil totalitarian regime, I highly recommend it, even if you don't like Star Wars. At least watch this monologue that Stellen Skarsgard should have won more awards for).

When I swim back into semi consciousness...

Remind me that I want to keep count of everytime Katniss wakes up in a hospital bed in Mockingjay because it happens a lot. I guess this is the beginning of it. She does it at least five times in this chapter alone.

I failed keep [Peeta] safe in life, I must find him, kill him now before the Capitol gets to choose the agonizing means of his death. I slide my legs off the table and look around for a weapon.

I guess I forgot the syringe she grabs is not for protection but that she wants to kill Peeta before he is tortured. She's willing to be tortured herself, but not him. And it's sad because he's already in the Capitol's clutches at this point. She doesn't even "mercy kill" Beetee because she's worried it would keep her from getting to Peeta.

He croaks out something else. Something heavy with despair.

It's clear from context that Finnick said something about killing himself, because Haymitch says that would get Annie killed for sure since she is "bait." And I'm sure that cheered Finnick up. Eyeroll.

It's an awful lot to take in, this elaborate plan in which I was a piece, just as I was meant to be a piece in the Hunger Games. Used without consent, without knowledge. At least in the Hunger Games, I knew I was being played with. My supposed friends have been a lot more secretive.

This is just so heartbreaking.

"The others kept Peeta alive because if he died, we knew there would be no keeping you in an alliance," says Haymitch.

Mags and the Morphling from 6 died protecting Peeta. Finnick took a knife for him. All because Haymitch knows what the rest of us know. Katniss would go crazy without Peeta. Or at the very least, become reckless in the arena (like she did when she lost Rue).

If I were either of them, I would be kind of pissed that I had to die not for the great symbol of the revolution herself, but for her teenage crush. But both of their deaths have so much love. Mags kisses Finnick, possibly saying that she'd do the same for him and Annie (afterall, she volunteered to protect Annie from this trauma). And the Morphling girl seemed to have a real connection with Peeta, and I wonder if she would've done it even if she hadn't been instructed to.

End Book 2.

[heavensbeehall]

"The Hunger Games", Chapter 23

Buy the book here.

Part 3: The Victor

Chapter 23. Still in the cave. Eating some stew. They learn that Thresh has died and it upsets Katniss. With only four "players" left, Peeta and Katniss vow to be more careful. The weather clears and they go hunting. Peeta accidentally hunts down Foxface.

Thoughts:

-- I don't think I have ever had lamb stew. Did I say this already? I have found multiple recipes for the Hunger Games lamb stew online. Are any of them good? Where do I even get lamb? (Apropos of nothing, my mom had a pet lamb growing up. His name was Fluffy and he got hit by a car. I don't think anyone had Fluffy stew.)

-- Peeta says that Haymitch, "He outsmarted the others" regarding how he thinks Haymitch won the games. We know he definitely outsmarted the Girl from 1. But I think Haymitch also outsmarted the Gamemakers, not just the contestants, and that's what Snow can't forgive.

-- Katniss says mentoring the "girl" from District 12 will be her job. I think that means the mentors are split on gender lines a lot of the time? But Mags mentored Finnick and Finnick mentored Annie. So I wonder how they decide whose turn it is if there are multiple victors.

-- The 74th Hunger Games goes for three weeks. I wonder if there is a "usual" length. It kind of reminds me of the Olympics. How they go for a couple weeks in the Summer (or Winter) and then you go back to not caring about gymnastics or track and field as a sport.

Quotes:

I know the audience will enjoy our having fun at Haymitch’s expense. He has been around so long, he’s practically an old friend to some of them. And after his head-dive off the stage at the reaping, everybody knows him. By this time, they’ll have dragged him out of the control room for interviews about us. No telling what sort of lies he’s made up. He’s at something of a disadvantage because most mentors have a partner, another victor to help them whereas Haymitch has to be ready to go into action at any moment. Kind of like me when I was alone in the arena. I wonder how he’s holding up, with the drinking, the attention, and the stress of trying to keep us alive.

I think it's unfair (although these games are never fair) to have one person mentor two people. Because you're going to have to pick a favorite or someone who you think is more capable of winning, like Haymitch does with Katniss during this games. And then ultimately you will feel bad about that, and feel like you "killed" the one you didn't help the most.

Do all the mentors stay in this "Control Room"? It's not where the Gamemakers are, but it sounds similar to the setup the mentors had in TBOSAS.

I really do want to know what the Capitol sees. Some of the victors must be really awkward interviews. Like what if Wiress is your mentor?

Under the hood, I silently say good-bye to Thresh and thank him for my life. I promise to remember him and, if I can, do something to help his family and Rue’s, if I win.

Me to Katniss, since I know the future: Maybe to it quietly though.