#i don't think people understand how profoundly i love this game (at least so far)

[smytherines]

for the choose violence ask game, 3 and 25

3. screenshot or description of the worst take you've seen on tumblr

For me, its the "Owen was probably even worse before the fall" one. I disagree with it, but it's whatever, I don't hold any ill will towards them or anything we just have very different interpretations

25. common fandom complaint that you're sick of hearing

I dunno if this is common necessarily, but I have seen it pop up a few times: that theorizing about what Owen's post-fall experience might have been like is creating a trauma for him that does not exist in canon

I think pretty much everyone in the fandom can agree that the fall was a very traumatic event for Curt, that it destroys his life and sense of self, that it devastates him mentally and emotionally. He's our protagonist, we can see the effect the fall had on him, so we're all in agreement that it fucked him up (understandably)

But there is sometimes a tendency in the fandom to minimize Owen's experience after the fall, or erase it entirely. Like people saying he faked his death (no he did not), or that he was totally fine after the fall and wanted revenge purely to be a petty bitch about nothing more than a bad breakup. And that's weird to me, because even strictly in canon what happened to Owen is at the very least equally traumatic for him. He falls far enough that it is reasonable for Curt to assume (with barely a glance) that Owen is either dead or dying, or that Curt simply does not have time to get to him, Curt leaves Owen for dead, then the building explodes. I think that alone, with no additional details, is enough to severely fuck a person up. At the very least on par with what Curt goes through in his four year grieving period

And the more detail you add in, the more the line "the horror of staying alive" makes sense. So if we include the Joey Richter tweets (which I think it's reasonable to at least discuss them, he is one of the co-writers) then it looks like Owen fell about two stories (so probably 20-30ft) onto what is presumably an iron or steel structure. That's automatically... many, many injuries. The most likely in a fall being broken bones, spiral cord injuries, and traumatic brain injuries. Plus probably burns because explosion. Then we have this:

So if we add in the possibility of Owen being captured by the Russians and bailed out/nursed to health (and "groomed"???) by Chimera, then things start to get a whole lot more horrifying

I think its very fair to debate the effects this sequence of events has on him and to what degree they explain and/or mitigate his actions, but in my opinion it is not reasonable to deny they happened at all. At the very least the baseline of "a fucked up thing happened and they are both profoundly fucked up by it" is the most accurate way to describe the canon events of the show

And then strictly on a personal level, thinking about what Owen's experience could have been like being severely injured in Russian custody and then being bailed out by Chimera, that's very interesting to me. I love picking apart characters, especially ones who -- in the real world, at least-- would be disabled. I'm personally very interested in how pain and injury and illness impact people, how isolation and heartbreak and being dependant on someone else for your survival can do some incredibly fucked up things to a person. Analysis is fun! And there absolutely is a canon traumatic event to analyze when it comes to Owen

[capri-ramblings]

These two were conveniently requested together so I decided to make it into one whole post. Also I posted this awhile ago but it didn't show up smh so I'm reposting it aha. I'm sorry for the long wait and thank you for your patience! (*´ω｀*)

Please refer to Pinned post before requesting.

Green as Envy II

Idia Shroud

- Idia's type of jealousy is the quiet one, though I wouldn't say it's not unnoticeable.

- He's immensely more reclusive and spends his time locked up in his room.

- Being pessimistic and awkward, Idia gets Jealous over small things that he tends to over think about

- Like the time Ace gave you his blazer when yours got dirty during lunch break or when Cater takes pictures of you and has his arms over your shoulders

- He knows they're your friends and that being the social person you are, you're bound to be surrounded by people but he just can't shake off the feeling that you're trying to get away from him

- As if you're using his dislike of crowds so you wouldn't have to put up with your closet boyfriend

- He isn't the most interesting person after all. He plays games and is an avid Otaku. It makes sense if you didn't want to be near him

- With that thought in mind, Idia starts to distance himself from you. He makes sure you don't bump into him after classes and he makes Ortho swear to always tell you he's busy when you come over to Ignihyde

- He's frustrated and insecure. He isn't sure where he is on your list or how much you really like him and Idia has never dealt with emotional pressure well

- He lets the Jealousy fester inside him and it caves in his entire mood. Just thinking about you hanging with Ace and Deuce riles him up

- When playing games, he switches to the kinds that are violent just so he can lash out a bit of his tension. Afterwards though he just lays in bed with his phone in his hand, wondering why you never bothered to call him.

- Gradually,Idia just gets moodier and whenever he sees Ace and Deuce, his gaze turns dark. He doesn't hate them,it's just...He wished he could be as fun as they were.

- Consoling him is easy though, convince Ortho you know how to make him feel better and you already have access to his cave.

- He'll be very fidgety of course when you suddenly enter his room. Part of his mind actually thinks he's gone insane but then you start talking and it's just horrible.

- You said you were worried about him? Has he been troubling you all along with his insecurities? How? And why?

- He won't know what to say but he will apologize even if a small Jealous part of him says it's your fault for being so carefree with other people

- If you hug him and nuzzle your head against his chest, you'll make him melt and Idia will stop processing thoughts all together

- It doesn't take much to reassure him but you'd have to reassure him a lot so his jealous side won't get the better of him again

Rook Hunt

- Oh,you made Rook Jealous?

- Well,at least now you'd know why Leona finds him intimidating.

- Rook doesn't express his Jealousy like most would, his eyes flicker too subtly for you to catch how he looks at you attentively watching Trey beat the pastry batter. How his hands just lightly overlap with yours almost like in a dreamy state

- A Jealous Rook is a Rook who starts to realise how easily likable and attainable you are to others and it's a jealousy that runs deep in his veins

- He won't say anything that indicates his Jealousy nor would he act any different, but if you paid a bit more attention to how his body reacted when other males make you smile or laugh, you'd notice how still his gaze is. As if he was burning the faces of those people in his memory

- Rook understands with you both being young and filled with life that there will always be things that will garner your attention greatly but the fact that anyone could so easily take your hand away from his whenever he's not looking...It just gives this bad taste gurgling in his stomach.

- He won't do anything that could hurt you though but he will act more profoundly and take you away with him anytime he sees fit

- You and a lot of other people would see it as Rook being his usual self, but the reason he's pulling you away isn't because he wasn't listening to your conversation but because he couldn't stop listening to it. How melodic and happy your voice sounded talking to Riddle and Epel.

- Rook will start leaving you small, unexpected gifts be it on your bed or in front of the porch of your dorm. Anything to make you feel pleased because of him.

- To Rook, Jealousy is simply another expression of love, so he isn't inherently frustrated by it but it does get him in a certain kind of mood. He'd describe it as the very first feeling he had when he went hunting. A Dangerous thrill.

- He's not upset but if you shower him with more attention than most, it'll earn you a lot of his in return.

Malleus Draconia

- Sulking.

- There isn't any other way to describe it.

- Malleus will say he isn't Jealous and he has no reason to be but the way he looks at you and the people around you is obvious if you really look

- It's like a brief glint that shimmers in his green gaze and colours it slightly off than usual

- He'll frown too but with Malleus always looking stern, it goes unnoticed often.

- Despite himself, Malleus gets Jealous when he sees how hands on you are with those around you,how involved you get into their lives whether or not it's planned and generally how people seem to just flock to you

- Usually the jealousness comes and goes pretty quickly but some days it just lingers in his head

- He won't ever tell you that he has no time though and insist you're allowed to come and visit as you'd like but he seems so distant and too quiet for you to not realize something is troubling him

- If you ask him he'll just stare at you a bit too long before he sighs and shakes his head

- "Just thoughts." He'd say

- Malleus rarely gets the chance to be around people and have them like him so when he sees you doing it so naturally, it makes him kinda envious

- He's not typically riled up by the fact you're surrounded by guys though since he trusts you completely but he won't lie that he gets a teensy bit irritated when people act as if he isn't part of your life

- Eventually he gives in and just expresses how he feels, asking if it bothered you or not that he wasn't able to solve such a simple emotional conflict

- All you have to do is just reassure him that it's normal to not be able to handle emotional things alone and that he's just like everyone else

- Simple words of comfort and a warm presence is the natural remedy to soothe this young dragon after all.

Epel Felmier

- Epel hates feeling Jealous, so whenever he does feel it, he tends to brush it off as a small matter and refuses to acknowledge it at all.

- Similar to Riddle though, his mood will tip over more often and he tends to lash out

- Epel's jealousy stems from the lack of progress he makes in making himself a strong and dependable partner for you and even if it's a one sided feeling, it frustrates him a lot

- He knows you're always putting yourself in danger and the thought of you being protected by other guys makes him want to grow as tall as Floyd and step on people who would hurt you

- He gets slightly touchy like Riddle too, and whenever anyone else tries to pull you towards them he gets this dirty look on his face and when he speaks his accent slips

- Epel will actually go as far as to use his naturally soft features to manipulate you into spending more time with him

- He'd pout his lips and his eyes would look so sad, how could you possibly say no to helping him make notes for his potion class?

- He doesn't see the manipulation to be wrong since he's not hurting you in any way, and plus it makes him less frustrated too. So it's good on both sides.

- At the end of the day though, Jealous Epel is harmless and actually makes him more motivated and boosts his spirit into building himself up as a man but if his moods get out of control, all you have to do is tell him there isn't a man on earth that could ever take you away from the one already holding your heart.

Ruggie Bucchi

- Despite himself, Ruggie gets Jealous a lot and his defense mechanism is similar to Leona's,minus the physical proof of it.

- He won't start biting or marking you like the beast prince would but his words does get kinda condescending whenever he sees that you don't realize you're making him Jealous

- Ruggie's seen it all, you know. How some relationships turn bad quick and it was mainly the reason he stayed away from it.

- But life is unexpected, and now that he's in a relationship himself, Ruggie's survival instincts kicks in fast.

- Unlike most Jealous partners,Ruggie's senses heightened and he becomes more observant of his partner's action and gestures.

- He doesn't trust easily, so this comes to bite him in the back and it starts playing thoughts in his head that riles him up even more than he is already

- Ruggie won't say he's Jealous,nor will he make it obvious that he is. When you ask him why he seems tense though, he'll laugh if off and add in something like, "What? Are you suddenly becoming some kind of mood radar?"

- He'll purposely let his words take you aback and he'll admit that he wants to see you a bit hurt but if it gets too bad Ruggie just starts to avoid you by acting like he's too busy

- While he's aware that putting the distance himself he's giving way to the possibility of you leaving him, Ruggie's conscience knows it's wrong to hurt you just because he's frustrated.

- He does a lot of self reflecting and tries to put a bit more trust in the relationship,but of course it doesn't happen in a day,right?

- Dealing with a Jealous Ruggie is better when you're patient and give him his space so that he can have his own thoughts before you come to confront him about it

- He's a bit harder to reassure but once he sees how genuinely worried you are,Ruggie will go soft and just let you shower him with any sort of comfort he needs.

- Though honestly the fastest way to convince him is to let him know that you only want him holding you.

Floyd Leech

- Floyd's a handful.

- A Jealous Floyd? That's just a nightmare coming to life.

- With his unpredictable moodswings, Floyd is always getting Jealous over things that you will never truly understand.

- He'll tell you that he's upset and that you're the reason behind it but he won't tell you how to fix it

- "Ha? Figure it out yourself why don't you? I'm kinda pissed so I don't want to help you."

- His eyes turn sharp in a split second before it goes dim and dull. Like he's bored of watching you look at him with confusion

- This goes on for days and not even Jade could help you, and that's only when his Jealousy is still mild.

- An extremely Jealous Floyd consists of Jade helping you avoid him at any cost everyday for an entire month because if Floyd so much as sees you, he'll make you run until you're crying for a brief minute to just get air into your lungs

- It's never sure as to why Floyd could get jealous nor is there any indication of it until he comes out and say it

- Most of the time though Floyd gets over his Jealousy when he has you cornered and he sees how scared you are of him, how close you are to crying in front of him. It makes him feel like he really does matter a lot to you if you're in pain because he's Jealous

- Rather Twisted,Floyd doesn't really know he scares the living lights out of you when he's in that state but once he's over it though,he's all over you with hugs and smiles.

- Best advice for Jealous Floyd? Make sure you work on your stamina.

Jade Leech

- Jealous or not,Jade will always smile even when he's displeased.

- His speech mannerisms doesn't change at all but somehow, whenever he's near you, his polite demeanor feels sick and dark. Like a looming dark cloud during a sunny day.

- He'll reassure you that he isn't upset or in a bad mood but the smile doesn't seem to reach his eyes

- "Oya,how could I ever be mad at you?"

- You must've done something to make him like this but like his twin,Jade won't say what it is.

- It shouldn't be easy to make him Jealous but once he is,Jade will probably the most hardest to reconcile with.

- Depsite his polite composure,Jade isn't so forgiving and even when he acts as if he's always in contro, he's not.

- Maybe it was the way you're always around those Heartslyabul boys or how doting you are with your first year schoolmates like Jack and Deuce.

- Either way,even when he's severely upset,Jade enjoys seeing you stumble on your existence trying to appease him, though eventually he'll get over it and start acting normally again

- When faced with a Jealous Jade,it's probably better for you to try and not get him in an even worst mood. And maybe try to not get too happy around him either, he'll think you're doing it on purpose to spite him.

[fansofvow]

Interview with Eve Golden Woods!

Many of you know who is Eve is. She's a writer and artist, a part of Dreamfeel studios whose beautiful game If Found won Best LGBTQ Narrative and Best LGBTQ Indie game at the first ever Gayming Awards presented by EA games. I am really excited I had the chance to ask Eve some questions about herself, her time at Lovestruck and her creative process.

Congratulations on the two Gayming Awards (Best LGBTQ Narrative, Best LGBTQ Indie Game) for "If Found" from your game studio, Dreamfeel. What was the inspiration behind making the game?

If Found... was a game that emerged out of a collaboration between Llaura McGee, the founder of Dreamfeel, and artist Liadh Young. Liadh's background is as a comic artist, and so when they started working together Llaura had the idea of showing off Liadh's art by making a diary game, and using an erasing mechanic she had previously developed to let the player move through the diary in a fun way. By the time I came on board at the start of 2019, the game had already been in development for a while, so in some ways my work on that game was similar to the work I did for Voltage, because it was taking existing characters and concepts and writing a lot of scripts for them. Unlike Voltage, though, my work for Dreamfeel was a lot more collaborative and I had a lot more creative input. I really enjoy taking something and helping to make it the best version of itself that it can possibly be, but I was also really happy that I got to reflect a lot of my own experiences in If Found. Llaura and I both grew up on the west coast of Ireland, and although If Found... isn't autobiographical for either of us, it was definitely really meaningful to be able to tell a story that reflected our own experiences of growing up as queer teens in a similar kind of environment. Since the game came out we've had fans reach out to us and tell us that they also connected to the experiences of the main characters, and as far as I'm concerned, that makes me feel like I achieved everything I wanted to.

You are a writer and a visual artist. Does one come easier to you than the other?

I used to think of art and writing as talents, and I always felt like my art was at a very mediocre level (that's probably still true, lol). So when I was younger I focused a lot more on writing. It was only later that I started genuinely trying to improve as an artist, but when I did, I think I had a much healthier mindset, and approached it as a skill I could learn with patience and effort. Because of that, even though I still have a lot more confidence in my writing, I find art more fun and relaxing, and I don't stress about it as much.

Did you always know you would follow a creative path?

Kind of? Both my parents are artists, and I grew up surrounded by artists and writers, so it was something that was always very familiar and accessible to me. On the other hand, I didn't exactly have a clear idea of how to make it into a career, or what kind of work would be involved. But there's never been a point in my life where I wasn't doing something creative, even if it was only writing fanfiction.

What did your path to working professionally as a writer/artist look like?

I did a creative writing masters in college, but after that I spent years teaching English as a second language. That was really fun and I got to live abroad, but it was so busy and tiring that I didn't have time to do any writing outside of the occasional fanfic. I only started to take art seriously again when I became interested in games and comics as ways of telling stories. I did some critical writing, which led me to speak at a few local events and get involved in zine fairs. That was how I met Llaura, the director and lead of the Dreamfeel studio, and it's also what gave me the confidence to start applying for actual writing jobs.

Is there any work of art, visual or written, that you look to for inspiration?

So many! I try to read and watch as widely as I can, although there are touchstones I always return to, like the works of Ursula Le Guin and Terry Pratchett. Right now I feel very passionate about the actual play podcast Friends at the Table, which manages to combine really thoughtful worldbuilding and storytelling with cool, fun characters and great action scenes. I'm also reading a book called The Memory Police by Youko Ogawa, which has extremely beautiful prose.

Do you have a favorite piece of your own art, whether it is something you’ve drawn, a screenshot of something you’ve written or something else?

My favourite piece of art is usually whatever I finished most recently (I think that's true for a lot of people). Especially with visual art, once a bit of time has gone by you look back on it and start to notice all your mistakes, which is very annoying. But actually I do still really like the first piece of Fiona fanart I did last year. I managed to use some effects to give it a kind of nineties anime quality that I find really fun, and I think it conveys an emotion pretty effectively. That's always one of the hardest things to predict with visual art, whether the different parts will come together to create the exact mood you're looking for.

I also really like the compass I did for Bycatch. Krissy (@xekstrin) was the one who suggested filling it with fingernails, which was such a good, gross idea! As soon as I heard that I knew it was perfect and that I had to try and draw it.

Many people who read this blog know you as a writer for Lovestruck. When you look back on your time there, what stands out in your mind?

Lovestruck was very important to me when I first started because it was my first ongoing, regular, paid writing work. It gave me a lot of confidence and helped me to get into the habit of writing consistently and rapidly, which is a really useful skill to have. I know I was right to leave when I did, though, because I am just brimming with energy to work on my own projects, and channeling that power into something that you can't control will always end up disappointing you. Also, I made a ton of incredible friends, through Lovestruck itself but then even more so through VOW (@vowtogether), and that is more than worth all the difficult parts.

Is there any character that you would have liked a crack at writing?

Oh gosh, what a fun question! There are so many, but one I do sometimes think about is Axia, just because I know there are a bunch of fans who want her route, and because I had fun writing her as a villain in Zain's route. I can see in my head the shadow of a storyline that takes place after Zain's route is over, where she's in prison and trying to understand how she lost the battle with Zain and MC. I think there's, like, a gap there, where you could see her downfall forcing her to reconsider her assumptions about power, and that could build into a very interesting redemption story. But maybe it's for the best I never got to do that, because I would have wanted full creative control over it, and also I think the story in my head is very different to the sexy, in control, menacing version of Axia that her fans enjoy.

Do you have any upcoming projects you can talk about?

Most of my current work is under NDA, but I will say that I'm doing something very exciting with other VOW members that we should be able to talk about soon(ish). Maybe I can even give a little teaser... It's not a game, but it is something you can read, and my part involves cakes, swamps, and a museum.

Do you have a favorite quote or song lyric?

It's a big long, but there's a section from The Dispossessed by Ursula le Guin that has stayed with me ever since I read it:

"For we each of us deserve everything, every luxury that was ever piled in the tombs of the dead kings, and we each of us deserve nothing, not a mouthful of bread in hunger. Have we not eaten while another starved? Will you punish us for that? Will you reward us for the virtue of starving while others ate? No man earns punishment, no man earns reward. Free your mind of the idea of deserving, the idea of earning, and you will begin to be able to think."

It's such a profoundly radical way of imagining the world, so different to everything I was raised with, but whenever I think about it I feel like I can see something very beautiful and powerful that I hope to come closer to understanding some day.

And of course, "Solidarity forever, the union makes us strong."

I was a big fan of the show Inside the Actor’s Studio. Host James Lipton asked every single guest the same 10 concluding questions. I’ve picked 3 of them:

-What is your favorite word?

My favourite word: for sound, I like words you can really roll around on your tongue. Chthonic, alabaster, insinuation. For meaning, I think simple words that encapsulate big concepts have a kind of power to them. We use them so often we forget how big they are, how much weight they really have, but they give us the space to imagine new possibilities. Love. Freedom. Revolution.

-What is your least favorite word?

I've heard that "moist" is a lot of people's least favourite word but it doesn't actually bother me. My least favourite word is probably one where I feel like the sound doesn't match the meaning. One of the Irish words for rain is báisteach, which I feel has a much weightier and more onomatopoeic sound than rain. Rain is just very flat and uninteresting.

-What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?

Oh, so many! I love history, and I think being a historian/archaeologist would be fascinating. Or something that had a physical component to it, like being a potter or a carpenter. I don't think I'd be any good, but I'd love to take the time to learn.

What would be your advice to anyone who wants to pursue a creative career?

All the work you do matters. Even the failed experiments, the things you hate when they're finished. It all helps to make you better. Also, creative career paths are often really unexpected, so chase any opportunity that seems remotely interesting. Don't work for free for anyone who can afford to pay, but work for yourself and put it somewhere. On a blog, twitter, whatever. You'd be amazed how many people get noticed and get offered opportunities because of something they made in their spare time. You'll probably have to work another job for a long time, so don't be hard on yourself if you're too tired to devote much energy to creative work. Try to make art consistently, but don't feel like that has to mean every day. Don't chase after celebrities. Make friends with your peers.

[silverylion]

Can we talk about Lance for a bit ?

There is something that really bothers me in season 8. I mean everyone is kind of still recovering but I feel like I need to say it anyway.

They chose to heavily feature Allurance from episode one cause they planned to kill Allura. It's a fact. As much as I don't ship it, they make a really cute couple with adorable scenes that made me smile and support them and I could have got over my disappointment regarding who I wanted to end up with Lance if only Lance had shown a bit of happiness by being with her.

No manner how we look at it, he isn't happy ! Why is that ? He finally got what he always wanted so why did they depicted him like that ? I really don't understand and that's what makes me so angry about all of this.

He doesn't seem like someone in love who finally got the girl! He seems hurt! Why is that ??

I'm ready to ignore the messy plotline of this season, the inconsistencies and everything that is wrong because overall, what I really care about is Lance as a character.

He means a lot to me because he is so different from the characters we normally meet in this kind of stories. He began as an annoyingly flirty boy who was desperately searching for glory to calm the insecurities he only show to few people. He was talented but needed someone else to acknowledge it to fully realize it himself. He was defined by his loudness and his love for love. He was looking for validation and a special person who would love him as profoundly as he love others. He had big dreams, big expectations, a bright future ahead of him. He wasn't overly masculine, liked being pretty and throw terrible pick up lines. He was funny, adorable I fell for him as much as I identified with (even if we are so different). He wasn't perfect, far from it, but it's also why I love him.

For many - including me - he was also representation. Not only for another kind of complex character but also by being Cuban and supposedly bisexual, something that seemed to be heavily implied so many times but I won't even talk about it.

During the series he has grown to be more self assured through the missions he accomplished with his friends, the people he met but most importantly Keith who trusted him and relied on his abilities, which definitely shown him his worth. I'm not even gonna talk about Klance as romantic. Keith is an important person for Lance's character, a friend he needed by his side along the way and that still was there for him in season 8. Which is really great, by the way.

I'm not gonna talk about the 'first choice' thing or the 'someone he needs, not someone he wants' or even the 'endgame' aspect of his romance. But yeah, that was all lies.

On this photo, Allura seems calm and happy, she seems like she can finally see a future with Lance and it's great. What is not so great, though ? When I saw this particular part in the episode, I stopped and watched Lance's face for about 5 minutes to try to understand. I don't see a happy boyfriend, here. I see a guy kind of unsure of what he is doing. I see a guy who doesn't know if what he is having is for real or even if it's what he really wants. He seems quite uncomfortable, tensed. It's maybe just a projection on my part but I genuinely cant see happiness here no matter how long I look at it. But maybe I'm really biased and don't see what actually is, you tell me.

Throughout the season, he was here to support Allura on her journey and it's great, but I would have wanted her to reciprocate it in a way or another. It's what Lance always needed and he didn't got it.

And in the end, he cried. I feel like he never really believed that this relationship would stick, that for whatever reason, they would end up parting paths. And the crew chose to kill her... In all honesty, Allura is not a character I really care about. I thought nothing about her in s1 and in s2, I started disliking her with what happened with Keith. But even thought I don't really care for her, making her die ? For seemingly no reason ? It's tough. And once again, I'm not even talking about how they killed representation or how people in the fandom can feel crushed by that, betrayed, even. I'm only remaining on Lance's side.

He never really had someone to reciprocate his love, something confirmed by his mom. He fell for Allura, casually at first, really hard when the series continued. What he feels for her is genuinely profound and I really liked that he confessed to her but even then... why did he seemed so sad ?

Just look at him !

He probably never loved anyone as much as he loved her. He sees a lot in her but he never felt like he was on equal ground with her. She is an awesome gorgeous space princess. He is just a boy from Cuba. (An awesome funny adorable space ranger but what do I know...). He never felt like he had a chance or deserved her affection. What about that ? It wasn't mentioned even once and I think that this is the reason of his constant sad face while he confesses, while he kisses her, while he conforts her...

I just don't understand and it makes me sad to see him like that. I know, he is just a character, I know this is just a cartoon, I know this just a kid show. But seeing a character you so much love becoming this sad guy that only support without reciprocation, this guy that loved love and is betrayed by it ? I just can't feel anything else but anger and disappointment for the wasted potential.

He ended up losing the woman he loved. The only person who seemed to reciprocate his feelings and because of that I think that he will always be a little more cautious about it because he has always been disappointed. He shot for the stars and fell hard. I fell hard with him. And as someone that feel that love will never go both ways, it just makes me even more bitter about this.

About the altean markings I don't know what to think. Some people think Allura turned him altean, others think she just left him something to remember her by. In both cases, this is wrong.

If the first theory is true, then what? What does that mean beside the ridiculous impossibility to change race? Did she make him altean to 'level him up' from his human status because he wasn't a match for her? Because altean are so much better? Because there was no need for that! Alteans are not all dead so why? For all I know, it wasn't to make royalty knowing that he ended up farmer so... once again, why?

If the second theory is true, well... That's even worst. She wants him to remember her ? I think he has enough around him for that, the status, the commemorations, the legend that will follow her, stories, his friends that gather to talk about her and how they miss her and what she meant for them... Giving him this will only prevent him from moving on. And it's harsh. I personally think that he should have moved on a long time ago. She never loved him, she was annoyed by his flirty attitude, by his simple presence sometimes. He should have seen that blatant rejection and accepted that yeah, he wants her but cannot have her. Romantic love wasn't something she cared about for so long. And then she fell for Lotor who betrayed her. And I think she honestly still doesn't care about Lance this way.

I think Allura didn't fell in love with Lance. She was heartbroken because of Lotor, because of the altean, because of the crown she lost, because she saw everyone with families while she lost hers. I think Allura just wanted someone that would take care of her and lift her burden with her. Just someone that would remind her that she is not alone in the universe, a distraction from the pain she was feeling. Someone that would ground her to prevent her from losing hope. He was easy, he loved her, she just accepted it not reciprocated it.

I see this like that because there was no real build up for their relationship. It wasn't a slow burn. It wasn't even reciprocal. She was sad that Lance felt so strongly about her and accepted their relationship for her own balance and because she didn't want to see her friend so sad. It didn't solve the problem for him though. Plus when the vision of Lotor, her ex boyfriend, told her to go get the creature thing she did but when Lance, her current (well past cause well, she's dead) boyfriend told her not to because it was dangerous and he cared to much for her safety, she didn't listen to him... Great. That's love folks.

I really could have fell for their story but seeing Lance so sad, so taken advantage of... He was so dull, no charisma, no joke, no stupid lines, nothing. He wasn't himself. He wasn't the Lance we saw grow during six to seven seasons. He wasn't the hero, second in command, courageous sharpshooter we all know.

And the sword ? Was it to foreshadow his future encounter with Alfor and Allura giving him blue markings ? Well, that was unnecessary. They could have done that without making people think that something more exciting would happen, that he would actually use the sword.

And the game show ? If they were to be together why the fuck didn't Lance chose her ? Why the fuck didn't she chose him ?... Well, she didn't because she didn't love him more than she loved the other Paladins. But why Lance didn't? Why make Lance and Keith chose each other? If they didn't want to involve them in any romantic kind of situation (they totally failed), they could at least have made them hug. And an emotional scene to express how much they care for each other to justify being worth choosing the other over anyone else to leave and not spend eternity in the game show. Keith was there for Lance and Lance was too obsessed with Allura to even ask about him. Great, even in a totally no homo friends kind of look it was badly handled.

Can someone explain to me the reason of the sunset setting ? Or why Lance freaked out when Veronica asked him to "put in a good word for her" with Keith ? They are friends, now, there was no allusion to their past rivalry. There was therefore no need for that kind of reaction.

He didn't save Shiro, for absolutely nothing. They never talked about it again. They never gave him the opportunity to make up for how bad he felt about that. He didn't event get a conversation with Shiro. They never gave a closure to Lance's arc.

Why do I feel like they did all that to make everyone pay for the shippers that made the toxic reputation of this fandom ? Why do I feel like the writers hate Lance ? Why do I feel like they totally baited us ?

The guy so in love with the idea of love ended up a lonely farmer. That's a great message for kids : don't even think that life will live up to your expectations no matter how hard you work for it. Don't even think that you can find any kind of fulfillment in your life, neither in love nor career.

I've never been in a fandom while a series was still going but I engaged in the Voltron fandom. I discovered it quite late but fell hard for it, it brought me so much happiness, so much hope ! I will never do it again because I'm not sure that the sadness and disappointment I feel right now are worth it. I will never be mad at the theorists and meta writers, they are good people who saw the extraordinary potential of Voltron, they probably feel worse to have spent so much time and energy picking up clues that definitely existed and only served to bait us.

In conclusion, everything Lance did this season was in a way or another related to Allura, as if he forgot he was someone of himself. As if the writers forgot who this character was. And it's painful.

At least there are still the beautiful fan art and fanfictions that really make him justice.

[amoralto]

Hi, I don't know if you remember but a few months ago i sent you an ask about john's preception of paul's supposed indifference in the media in the early 70s, and i was wondering if your still planning to respond? I mean if not thats totally cool, i just would be really interested if you have even incomplete fragments that you haven't posted (cause you posted a few in the past, i think?) Anyway, i really love what youre doing with this blog, have a great day!

Oh, I remember very well, my dear long-suffering anon, and at this appallingly ponderous rate I’ll probably have a response written up to my own fathomless standards within the next two years or so. 😞😓😩😖 I’m so very sorry; I’ve said so before, but it befits me to say it again. My overall productivity where @amoralto​ is concerned has ground to a halt this past couple of weeks for colourless personal reasons of depression and malaise, so I’m feeling awful about that as well. More fragments I can provide, though - they’re mostly just Thoughts From Several Years Ago, me looking up old notes I made when I was working on this response to your ask, but I hope it provides at least a modicum of entertainment:

I don’t prescribe to the idea of attributing someone’s entire personality to a specific, singular event, but the childhood experience of finding himself in the position of effectively having to choose, symbolically, between the love (and affection, guidance, trust, loyalty, presence) of his father and his mother, would have significantly impacted his ideological makeup and ingrained within young John Lennon a predisposition to see love as a zero-sum game where going with one means abandoning the other forever, and having it both ways is an impossible lie, because you’ve never had it both ways, and in fact, you will see to it personally that you won’t have it both ways, because you’d rather fuck it up yourself than let them fuck it up for you, because they will always leave you anyway. So I’d imagine that as a young John Lennon growing up in schism, comparing your household to others’ and painfully aware of what you don’t have that they do and vice versa and all else, you’d both justify the notion and rebel violently against it. Fulfill your own prophecies. Hence the impulsive, headlong infatuations with gurus, and the incensed, guillotined fallout afterwards. Hence the inveterate need for a parental figure, alternately resenting their authority and desiring their attention and coddling.Why these systemic issues with love, family, and abandonment seemed to pronounced themselves so profoundly in relation to Paul in particular is probably for all those indefinable symbiotic reasons that have been waxed lyrical about. Just as it was a magical buoy for their partnership in its naive and romantic beginning, this indefinable and ineffable quality to their relationship was also an obscure leaden weight to their partnership in its latter-day disillusionment. It’s not so much the fact of its ambiguity itself that was an issue, but that it was conditional, and neither was consciously aware of it until, well, the conditions arose. I mean, this isn’t at all meant to be a summative Where Did Our Love Go? précis, but just in terms of their communication with each other as emotionally hedging Northern lads, their relationship, from John’s perspective, seemed to depend on an implicit awareness and understanding of each other, on the reading of each other’s minds, on recognising each other’s unspoken thoughts and desires and enacting upon them, which he eventually realised was unrealistic and unsustainable (even if he never necessarily stopped longing for it). But they couldn’t have grown as a partnership without expecting and accepting each other to grow as individuals apart from each other, and they couldn’t have gone on continuing to looking to each other and expecting to see their own reflection without depleting themselves.But, uh, rather than go into histrionic ramblings about ego and identity and projection and fear, I think what I mean is: knowing what you don’t want isn’t the same as knowing what you do, and in such immovable contention there was only going to be disappointment and despair. Not knowing what you want but expecting the other to know and give it to you, and not get it? Hurt, rage, betrayal, you never loved me if you did you would have known I was in pain you moon-eyed fucking Engelbert Humperdinck I bet you knew and you just got off on seeing me suffer.

On that note, a candid illustration of John’s Paranoid Troll Logic, circa mid-1966 to early-1967, i.e. the “I was going through murder and I knew Paul wasn’t” period:

1. You’re happy and working and I’m sad and idle.

2. How can you be happy and working when I’m sad and idle?

3. If you really cared about me being sad and idle you couldn’t possibly be happy and working.

4. Maybe I’m sad and idle because you don’t really care about me.

5. Maybe you’re happy and working because I’m sad and idle.

Or two: 

1. I’m miserable, and if we’re as close as I think we are, you should be able to tell.

2. If you’re not able to tell, it must mean we’re not as close as I thought we were, which makes me even more miserable.

3. Maybe the reason why I’m miserable is because we’re not as close as I believe we were, and I can’t tell how close you believe we are.

4. I can’t ask you about it, of course, because I shouldn’t have to, and it’s your fault anyway, you should be the one asking me first, it’s not like you’re the one who’s miserable.

 5. … Maybe you’re making me miserable. On purpose.

Or three:

John: Sometimes I don’t even want to be in this fucking band anymore. I can’t stand being Beatle John, it’s going to suffocate me, but in the situation we’re in I don’t even know who else I can be. We’re in this together, Paul. You understand. We need to break away from all this.

Paul: Hey, I’ve got an idea! Let’s make a record where we all pretend we’re in a made-up band! Then we won’t have to be in this band, not really, because we’ll be other people playing other people’s music! It’ll be liberating!

John: … Remember when we just canceled all our engagements and went to Paris?

Paul: Sure I do. You know what, you should come out to London with me some time, it’s an amazing scene! All the music and plays and films and happenings… John: Hey, why spoil it when you’re already having so much fun without me around? What’s so good about all that, anyway? Pretentious tossers, the whole lot of them. Not that I care. Paul: They’re not so bad. Have you written any new songs? John: I haven’t written anything in weeks. Bothered.Paul: Well, bother yourself, then! And get something done by Friday. We have an album to make, you know. I’ve already written about four new songs - nothing much, just some melodies I whipped up in between this and that, but we can work with them.

John: You’ve just come here to gloat, haven’t you.Paul: Are you having trouble writing? I can help you out! What are partners for? Not today, though, today I’ve got a gallery to set up and two articles for the International Times to write and then dinner with Groovy Bob and a lot of artsy mingling to do with my new queer friends you’re so intimidated by for some reason. Want to come along? John: No, because I’m in pain and you don’t care and I hate you for not loving me enough. Run along, I’ve got my own lysergic work to get to. This ego of mine’s not going to destroy itself, you know. Paul: Alright, alright, I’ll leave you to it. See you on Friday!John: … Please don’t leave me.

And some waffle on Paul’s manner of Dealing With Things By Not Acknowledging Them (which, when aligned with John’s Desperate Need For Verbal And Explicit Acknowledgment, would hurtle them both towards a terrible ending):

As an affect of his stubbornly persistent optimism, to put it glibly, one could see how Paul’s need and inclination to focus on the enactive and positive side of things would also preclude an avoidance of anything he thinks he can’t achieve, help, or deal with, because direct confrontation of the problem would entail the risk of him losing control in that situation, which would render him vulnerable, or worse, being seen to be vulnerable. The avoidance thus manifests as both a defense and a coping mechanism for uncomfortable situations or unsavoury trains of thought - remember, this is someone who isn’t inclined toward navel-gazing, who doesn’t at all like to examine his own thoughts or emotions,  because it would hang him up. He has to deal with them in some way, though, so what can he do? Diffuse (project onto someone else), deflect (be hostile and passive-aggressive), or dive behind a piano, essentially. So if Paul’s way of handling things (during the Beatles years at least) was to avoid the Negative, redirect attentions and efforts to something Positive and hopefully in the process overwhelm the Negative entirely by all that is Positive, then you can see how the avoidance played out in, say, the case of Brian’s death (Let’s all travel far far away from this smog both figuratively and literally and make a new film about us going on a mad bus trip and make a new album to go along with it and be together all the time as a band again because we can totally manage ourselves and this will prove it and everything will be fine!), or the latter-day disintegration of the band (Let’s plough through the sessions because things have to get good before they get better and it’ll be a good album because we’re us and at the end of it we’ll all be proud of ourselves because it’ll prove we can still do it and maybe just maybe we’ll stay together and make more good albums and everything will be fine!). He couldn’t ignore the plaguing tensions at hand, and knew he couldn’t address it directly without inviting confrontation or contributing to the existing tensions, but he knew what he could do, practically - make music, and involve others with making music. As long he was actively doing something, then he was actively moving himself and everyone elseforward, and if they kept moving forward for long enough the problem would recede into the distance until it ceased to be a problem entirely. And so he did, until they were far along enough to move onto the next phase, or until they couldn’t possibly be moved anymore.