#i don't. i don't think this mess of a ramble deserves a real tag but uhhh

[bitimdrake]

rereading nightwing (2011) #30 and god i have. so many thoughts about it. And also I still cannot get a coherent hold on it.

This post is really just a mess of me rambling for myself and spewing thoughts out, so I'm putting it under the cut and read at your own discretion and curiosity.

first off, we basically only talk about the middle part, but this comic is actually three sections and it's. bad?

it's just so awkward. This is a transitional issues, but it's not even a well executed one. It's not even a mediocre one. It's very blunt and inconsistent in abruptly shoving the story forward to make way for a Grayson status quo.

The three sections all have different styles and very different tones, but they are also directly related to each other. So it's not like they work as three different vignettes sharing an issue. But they also don't make a particularly cogent whole.

And they definitely do not come even close to the kind of satisfying ending you'd typically want to see at the end of a run.

Like: the first section is Leslie recounting to Bruce how she ran into Spyral. A section which, you will note, does not include our lead and title character in any way, nor is it remotely emotionally relevant or meaningful to him on first read, nor is it remotely related to anything in the run previously. It's a Batman Inc scene that got lost and landed in the wrong issue.

And then the second section (Bruce fights Dick until he agrees to go undercover) and the third (intro to Grayson with Dick doing international crimefighting to lure in Spyral recruitment) are plot-wise directly connect and yet. Could not be more at odds.

sec. 2 Dick has a very bad time being pushed into this by Bruce, and he hates it, and the whole thing is very violent and dark and grim, and Dick ends the section saying things can never be the same between him and Bruce.

and then sec. 3 Dick has a classic inner monologue about who he is and where he's been, that includes how Bruce saved him from being an angry, revenge-obsessed kid, and how he loves his family and is defined by being a legacy. And shows zero concern at what he's doing except a mild mention that after the Crime Syndicate he wanted to go back but he couldn't.

are you seeing what i'm talking about here. are you seeing how this is technically a continuous plot, but on every other level makes no goddamn sense

anyway let's talk about dick and bruce, but first specifically about Bruce because I still do not get him here

"get him" does not mean "agree" (or even "empathize") but literally just get it. Even when I fucking hate him I have at a basic level understood what was going on in his head previously. I do not now.

Bruce was already abusive ofc, but the thing that really threw me off the first time I read this--and that still feel jarring--is how completely different this is from any of his previous violence towards his kids.

He's not suddenly lashing out in a moment of high emotion. He waited for Dick to be ready and laid out the rules (non-rule) of the fight. And it's not even about some deeply personal matter that he's getting emotional over. Yes, Dick's recent brief death is a key part, but mostly Bruce is monologuing about the danger of this one random secret organization.

The whole thing is so planned, which is never something I've thought of his previous physical abuse, and it feels fucking awful.

It also just feels so irrational. And not in a "people who are very emotional make questionable decisions" way, but in a "I'm genuinely struggling to understand how the character got here way"

Bruce is upset that he recently watched Dick die. No question there. And so he....wants to send Dick undercover with Spyral?

??????

Like I can try to explain this as some variation of the classic 'push people away so caring about them won't hurt me again', but that's really not how it feels? It doesn't track. Bruce has pushed Dick away plenty before, and he does it by some combination of explosive anger, complete emotional shutdown, and literally telling Dick to leave. But like. This is not that. He's instead ensnaring Dick in a long fight and longer conversation and telling him not to leave, but to go do something specific. And it's not even really pushing him away!! Because Bruce is still asking Dick to do a thing for him, under his control! No. wrong vibe. Explanation rejected.

Second attempted explanation: section one of this issue ends with Leslie telling Bruce that, because of super Spyral interrogation powers, she might have revealed his identity and can't even remember. So Bruce is deeply troubled by that, and Dick's identity was just revealed to the world which compounds things ("you let them give your secrets to the world"), and now he is deeply concerned with figuring out what Spyral knows/stopping info from spreading and sending Dick to handle that.

I also hate this explanation. It feels dumb. Ridiculous priorities. (also, boy, it does not paint Bruce in a good light. but the bad light it paints him in is an all new one.) Ugh.

I really really just cannot create an explanation for Bruce here that feels coherent with my understanding of him, and I hate that.

And my understanding of him is of him as an abusive father!! So imagine how inexplicable this must feel! But this is the wrong kind of abusive father for what he's been before idk i don't even know if i make sense anymore

new thought time

for the first ~2/3 of the fight, I was thinking that on reread, I could kinda see how some very dumb and oblivious writer would not see how horrific and abusive it would be in the end:

Two characters are disagreeing, and one is going to convince the other by the end. So it's dramatic, and makes the art reflect the story, to have them spar as they're talking! Both script and art are a spar!

Bruce is trying to ~prove Dick will never break~ so it'll be fitting for him to fight Dick, and then call it off when Dick indeed proves he won't give up an gets the upper hand!

Misjudge just how violent the fight will come off. Write panels where Dick is on the ground looking up/being beaten by Bruce/getting injured, because you're going for the classic structure of the hero getting their ass kicked at the start before turning things around later on, but accidentally make those too pained.

blah blah blah, completely overlook the fact that these two are father and son with the power dynamic that implies, and fail to tune the dialogue so that you don't realize it seems less like Bruce is convincing and more like he's coercing

and maybe, theoretically, a writer with real bad instincts could think this would be less horrific than it is

...I thought for the first chunk of the fight, still trying to come up with a rational explanation for this scene, even if only a Doylist one

EXCEPT

Towards the end of the fight, Bruce literally says he knows he's hurting Dick, "my family," and calls Dick "my boy" and then punches Dick in the face so like. I'm sorry you can't do this by accident. If you wrote this by accident you are simply too stupid to be alive and I refuse to believe you can exist.

so anyway I don't have a Doylist explanation for this either :/

they really did just straight up have bruce beat up his son and have said son literally say it could never be the same between them after this, and then were like. yeah :) this is fine :) back to bruce solving crimes as batman :)

FINAL SECTION: random assorted things that make me mad

right before the fight when Alfred can't get into the cave and Bruce, who planned this, lies about it being a malfunction he's fixing

alfred tries to ask if he's alright after "master richard's... the boy's passing". Quote Bruce "Dick was never a boy." (this would make me want to slap him in the best of circumstances but I just want him dead)

the beat early on where Bruce gets a good shot in and Dick is sitting, and he pauses to ask Bruce what's really going on, and Bruce kicks him in the face

genuinely just the number of panels in this that are Dick on the ground, Dick getting punched/kicked/hit, Dick slamming into some solid piece of the environment

Dick keeps questioning this idea and bringing up new points and then just outright asking how Bruce can do this to him. And literally never once does Bruce reply to any of it.

Literally the entire fight Bruce spends monologuing, completely ignoring everything Dick says, as if he's not talking at all.

The only thing that Bruce does respond to is how Dick is doing in the fight. He breaks his monologue to commend Dick on fighting well, but not even once gives the tiniest acknowledgement that Dick is also saying things.

Just the fact that Dick "wins" by dropping down to Bruce's level of violence.

when bruce says the "we fall so we can get back up" and Dick says, no, someone pushes us and we get up to push back, it's fucking sad. I think this is meant to be his victorious moment of turning the tides, but it's upsetting to me! That Dick "it's about catching people when they fall" Grayson has been pushed to reject all of that and is now only talking in terms of fighting!!! I don't like this quote I judge anyone who uses this as a great quote representative of dick grayson, sorry, it's not, it sucks

Dick cracks his head on a railing owie

as soon as Bruce gets properly decked and hits the ground, he calls the fight off :) Because this proves to him that Dick won't break in Spyral, of course, and confirms his stupid plan will work :) and definitely not because Bruce can dish it out but can't take it :)

unreal how much I hate him

And finally! Amidst all of that, amidst all the blood and violence, the single moment that made me most want to shove Bruce through a woodchipper!

"I know I'm hurting you. My family. I'm making that sacrifice. Because I don't give up. I don't give in."

shut the fuck up you fucking martyr hurting your family is not sacrificing shit

man, I really did start this post with story analysis and a genuine curiosity to find sense in chaos. My primary emotion was the fervor of solving a story like a puzzle. But now I am simply going to kill.

[gentlebeardsbarngrill]

Is it me or do other people find it jarring how Taika's haters try and distort reality and act like everyone loves him and they are the only one? Or that everyone acts like he's perfect and heaps him with praise for doing the bare minimum when from what I've seen no one who actually likes him does that.

I've seen people like 'if you're cancelling the last of us cancel ofmd cos Taika is zionist scum who supports genocide'.

Hi Anon! Oh interesting question. I don't know if I've personally seen a lot of that specific situation where they think everyone is blindly supporting him (I do tend to block after a certain point so maybe that's why?). If I'm understanding you correctly it sounds a lot like they're seeing any support of Taika as "HE IS PERFECT AND NO ONE SHALL CHALLENGE HIM" when most people who support him know he's not perfect (as no one is) and we accept him anyway.

Which is one of the things OFMD really drives home-- you're not perfect, that's okay! You can do better if you mess up! You are deserving of being forgiven!

Which I mean, in general I think that really points to your first point, that folks who are mad at him are kind of living in this distorted reality. But also too... I've seen this a lot in my personal life with ... various folks that some people see the world in a very black and white state. They see things as "if it's not this, it MUST mean THIS" -- in this case "If people support Taika, it MUST BE BECAUSE THEY THINK HES PERFECT", same with "If he asked for hostages to be released, HE MUST BE SUPPORTIVE OF GENOCIDE".

--- sorry long post is long, I'm in a rambling mood today sorry!---

Which.. to be fair there's a lot of cultural training for that.. as some folks have put in tags of other posts, it's lack of critical thinking and questioning skills. I know where I grew up they were super big into us questioning everything, but when I talk to some friends who grew up in other states here in the US, they didn't get the same focus on critical thinking in public school, and got more of it in college (and not everyone can afford to go to college). I had a really cool 11th grade English teacher who showed us a video in class one day. It was a parody of a documentary and was explaining how the earth was flat (which we didn't know at the time, they didn't tell us this wasn't real). It was weird because it didn't come out and say "the earth was flat" though, it came out with kind of vaguely reasonable sounding arguments from people with "Dr" in front of their name.

I remember looking at my friend who was really confused too and saying something like "wait is this for real?" and them shrugging at me. It wasn't until this part of the video where there's literally cows running around Antarctica that a lot of us were like, "wait this is totally not real". That English teacher.. after we got done with the movie started asking us when it was that we started questioning the validity of the video, and then went into this whole lecture about how especially when we're young, we're so used to just being FED information that sometimes we get fed completely false information and we just DONT know it. The whole exercise was all about questioning and critical thinking skills and how not every "teacher" or "doctor" is going to be as qualified as they try to tell you they are.

I found that whole exercise really eye opening because I had never really thought of people purposely trying to bias my education like that before. I'm sure there's thousands of ways that people learn these kinds of skills (and I know mine aren't perfect) but I found that one to really hit home-- so imagine never being taught that. Never being taught that if you start feeling like the thing being said doesn't sound quite right to question it.

Now of course, some folks are purposefully ignorant and that's a whole other issue, but I do think we need better critical thinking education all over the world (but especially in America what with the vastly different education depending on which region you're in).

ANYWAY omg im sorry -- I dont know if I even really addressed your point, so I apologize if I didn't (the ADHD is strong today I tell you)-- so if I didn't please let me know and I'll try again!

I hope the trolls aren't getting to you too much today, sending love anon <3

[cat-boy-kenjaku]

so i just started watching dunmeshi and based on some posts i've seen on tumblr it might get a little more serious toned but this show is so cozy and comforting rn

i'm going through a tough spot and being given permission from a show to eat, enjoy myself, and relish life... also seeing healthy friendships and communication among autistic-coded people despite miscommunications and cultural differences hits different right now.

I know anime isn't real life but as an undiagnosed autistic kid, there's something so authentic about friendships portrayed in anime. I know irl people are harsh, unkind, and don't care but i could always escape to the authentic and unconditional love that most anime friendships portrayed. Obviously, I know that's not realistic in real life (humans are often not kind and don't love unconditionally), but watching dunmeshi hits with that nostalgia. To be loved and treated with the respect that one deserves simply for being a friend and for being human (or in this case humanoid) is my unrealistic dream for irl friendships and there's always a bit of heartache that that is not achievable in real life. most People don't want to connect, people don't want to understand, people don't want to listen. people don't want to care.

as a kid, I remember vaguely trying to learn telepathy and I think that that inner kid still exists in me. They wanted so desperately to understand and to be understood and to that end they became so hyperempathetic that they often understand someone else better than that person understands themselves. but, they still mess up, and others don't understand them and even worse make assumptions about them... kinda rambling... i'm not tagging this but pls don't reblog this is just a personal vent.

[miyu-writings]

I posted 447 times in 2022

That's 447 more posts than 2021!

308 posts created (69%)

139 posts reblogged (31%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@miyu-writings

@watcher-ofthe-sky

@plinkitee

@managerie76

@fanficmemes

I tagged 332 of my posts in 2022

Only 26% of my posts had no tags

#writing rambles - 133 posts

#fic: ic au - 45 posts

#fairy tail - 44 posts

#youtube - 42 posts

#musings - 38 posts

#gratsu - 38 posts

#rl stuff - 23 posts

#music - 14 posts

#ft fanfic - 14 posts

#writing - 14 posts

Longest Tag: 77 characters

#because i'm in the not so great place of feeling like my writing is worthless

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Fairy Tail Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster, Natsu Dragneel & Gray Fullbuster & Happy & Lucy Heartfilia & Erza Scarlet Characters: Natsu Dragneel, Gray Fullbuster, Mirajane Strauss, Happy (Fairy Tail), Lucy Heartfilia, Erza Scarlet Additional Tags: April Fools' Day, Pranks, Silly Summary:

It's April Fool's Day and Natsu decides to pull a prank.

4 notes - Posted April 1, 2022

#4

Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Fairy Tail Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationships: Natsu Dragneel/Gray Fullbuster Additional Tags: Post-Tenroujima Arc, Established Relationship, gratsu/natray day 2022, Fluff Summary:

After the battle against Hades, Natsu and Gray have a moment to reconnect.

Finally finished this little piece. Happy Gratsu/Natray Day people!

These two silly mages deserve our love. 

4 notes - Posted July 29, 2022

#3

Happy Natsu Day.

I wanted to post something but I don't think that will actually happen.

But here's to Natsu Dragneel, one of my favourite charas who deserves it all.

4 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

#2

I'm probably making a mistake by following the ao3gratsu feed. Welp, gonna get depressed real fast.

I mean, I can always unfollow. But the slight perusal I did kind of showed how much the fandom is slowing - which is totally understandable, sadly.

The good thing is that seeing some depressing things from N/G fandom helped me forget the wtf fic I read. I thought I could stomach it but... it was so fucked up that I'm still thinking of it! 😂

I hope LetoaSai posts a new FT fic soon. Theirs was the last one I read that felt like a good read. I've been trying with the current batch (that isn't filtered, at least - bless AO3 skins!!) but... it doesn't quite read well. Though I haven't seen the latest oneshot there yet. Maybe it'll be a good read.

At this point, anything to keep me from thinking of Sunday's oneshot... OTL

I'm procrastinating. Yep, that is me.

Also, looks like I have 2 people here on tumblr who enjoy my stories. That made me smile. 😊

5 notes - Posted May 7, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Ah, really want to have someone who can hear me scream (figuratively) about gratsu and the plots I want to write!!

Today I read and interacted with an author (hope they come up with more gratsu fics 😈) and it was great but I was so getting the urge to talk about plots.

There's this Demon Slayer Gray plot that kind of wants to come out too but uuugh. I mean, it's a bit of a different spin. Hey, maybe I could use it for TbC? Then again, I'm not too sure about what I'm going to be doing with the arcs and time skip and Zeref. Because the big bad for that one is more in line with Acnologia, power-wise and that's a huge mess.

But, Juvia needs to grow to be her own person. Heck, I might not be as squicked by gruvia, were it not such an awful relationship and dynamic. I like Juvia! But her obsession/need to live for Gray needs to go. It's not cute or romantic.

Damn, that fic got me heated. XD

The fic in question is

Deals with a bit of a heavy topic but I liked it.

Here I am, slowly getting back into reading FT fic... fingers crossed... 😂

12 notes - Posted August 9, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[friendsim-more-like-lovesim]

I HAD THIS WRITTEN OUT BUT THEN CLICKED OFF BECAUSE IM AN IDIOT

AHHHH

OKAY

RE-EXPLAINING

Tw: Blood, death, depression kinda? Maybe?

So this was inspired by a ghb x reader fic I read like forever ago on ao3

It was really bad and I remember ranting to my dad, yeah you heard right my dad, about how it took reader 40 fucking chapters to HUG ghb

And they kept making dumb decisions!

So my imagination took a crumb of that idea and ran with it

I'm at a fair with my friends and all I remember is seeing something like spaceships in the sky and everyone running and screaming

I wake up on the troll's planet with a bloody nose and a dull ache

The beginning of the end really

Don't know how to explain this so I'm gonna ramble

So essentially I'm a prophet

And I honestly keep dying heh

Whenever I die it's called a bad end

And how I know about these bad ends is a bloody nose, based on severity, and pain where the kill shot is

Like for example let's say I'm coming to a bad end where I get my head chopped off, if death is a few hours away I get a small nosebleed and a little pain in my neck but if it's a few seconds away I get a severe nose bleed and excruciating pain

And after I die I wake up in the same exact spot on the same exact day when I first showed up on Alternia

I can also wake up in different timelines or aus like hiveswap or maybe an all human college au with the trolls or being in the ancestor's timeline

And no matter who I interact with, good intentions or not, I keep dying

I've gotten killed by almost all the trolls and humans at this point and kinda swore off on interacting with any of the main cast anymore

Oh and I can't remember anything from past lives, I can probably remember how I died but nothing before that point, and I've lost track of how many times I've kicked the bucket

For mental health reasons

It's really self indulgent and I get to mess around with the cast and go through a shit on of scenarios (where I inevitably die heh)

I even died in a good ending! It wasn't supposed to happen but I got killed!

I can't even win when I win!

I'm not gonna get into all the shippy ghb things unless you want me to but I'm hoping this covers everything!

I'll let you know if I remember other small details!

And I read those tags! Don't die for me I'd be sad!

I'd lose my buddy :'(

Anyways I hope your day went well! Go get some ice cream or something! You deserve a treat for working so hard! -🐝

I THINK IVE READ THAT FIC!! i love the ghb seriously so much shdhdhdj

isn’t the title something like “A Lamb Amongst Lions” or something??

i would die a million deaths to date the grand highblood for real, i just want him to be Soft and Loving please-

your idea sounds super cool!

[moonstrider9904]

Aren't you the least bit concerned a certain someone will see you're back?

Nah, nonnie, not in the least. I've made sure to block the people who harrassed and bullied me in the first place, so to my knowledge, I should be safe from all of them.

I wound up rambling a little bit so I'm putting this underneath a cut; these are just a lot of my thoughts on the matter that I want to get off my chest--nothing bad, just words from my mind.

Okay so--I'm pretty sure if any of them is going to figure out I'm back on tumblr, they already know by now(?). And nothing's happened up until this point, either because the drama's truly dead or because I've done a good job blocking. Either way, whether they wanted to do something else or not, I've not even given them a chance to and it's just the way it should be.

And hey, even if they know I'm back and are bitter because they can't do anything about it because they earned themselves an instant block for being awful people, the most they'll do is talk behind my back within their little clique, and that is just. Very sad for them. Patrick Stump very accurately sang "I don't care what you think as long as it's about me" and if they're still investing their energy in me, joke's on them because they're only hurting themselves with all that hate, and I'm not even seeing any of it :3

I know I messed up too, honestly, but I learned from how badly I screwed up those days, and I'm in peace with that. I don't really need much more than that. The people who hurt me will get what they deserve one way or another; I'm a woman who very firmly believes in the universe and its laws. Karma's real and she's a bitch ;)

For now, I coudn't be happier to be back because sharing my writing and my creativity is my biggest passion and I've found wonderful, friendly, talented people to share it with and still will along the way. It's better this way and it all has to do with not hiding or fearing anymore.

The first while I had this blog I had a different name, different URL, and it never felt right. Then I realized I didn't want to keep hiding. I didn't want to keep being scared of that clique to the point where I couldn't share my writing, where I couldn't complete my stories with the same love, the same amount of attention, to the point where every time I placed my other URL somewhere it felt like I had a mask on. moonstrider is a very dear word to me, and 9904, well, you know how much he means to me. I didn't want to put that aside and the more I did it, the more crushing it felt to be on this site. So I could either leave for good and stop writing, or I could refuse to give these people any sort of power over me.

As you can see, I chose the latter. And people welcomed me. People reached out, said they were glad I was back. I've felt so much support and love, and I doubtlessly found myself again. I've made new friends! I'm very glad I came back with no more masks because this is the way it should be.

And if someone doesn't want to see me, it's as simple as blocking me. And if I don't want to see someone, it's as simple as me blocking them! I learned the hard way that online fandom drama leaves nothing good in its trace, and I'm a bigger person now.

So no, I'm not the least bit concerned. It sucks to see these people still being such big hypocrites--I happened to make a post about this recently where I ranted in the tags--and at times I feel some resentment, but that's normal, no human being puts behind a negative experience that quickly. I know I'm on a path to growing and I'm determined to keep this blog safe, positive, and creative.

Thank you for the concern, nonnie. Sorry if my answer was like suuuper long compared to what you were expecting but I don't want there to still be an elephant in the room. Blessed be and have a nice day!

[donutloverxo]

My moon and stars

**not my gif**

Please note that my work is not to be reposted or published anywhere other than my Tumblr or AO3 account without my permission. Reblogs are most welcome though!

Note - this is for @our-marvel-universe's birthday! I'm so sorry I'm late and that I'm bad at summaries.

Divider by @writeyourmindaway

Date posted - 26-08-20/Wed

Summary - Steve swoops in and saves your birthday with some stargazing and confessions.

Pairing - Steve Rogers x reader

Word count - 1386

Masterlist is linked in the bio!

You groaned as another person bumped into you, spilling a good amount of their drink on you. They didn't even bother apologizing, probably thinking that you're just a nobody, even though this was your party.

You had never had a huge birthday bash before or tons of presents, you were so naively excited when Tony told you he was throwing you one and inviting the whole city. You felt for some reason, they're here because they care for you or the super hero work you do everyday.

You couldn't be more wrong. Most of them didn't even know you. Your own family and friends, other than the Avengers had failed to show up. Now you could only look at the crowd of people and shake your head in disappointed.

Resisting the urge to punch Tony in his stupid face when he so smugly asked, 'You like the party?'

You would've, despite everything, but he wasn't here. He was gone on some stupid mission. Not that you cared that much. He wasn't yours, he didn't need to wish you a happy birthday or attend your party. You still couldn't help but hold out hope that you'd both stop dancing around each other.

No longer interested in the party where even the people you knew were completely drunk you made your way over to your favorite part of the compound.

You held on to your jacket a little tighter as you shivered, the wind messing up your fancy hairstyle. You looked up at the sky to see so many twinkling stars and beautiful colors, something you don't get in cities. You wouldn't trade this view for anything.

You instantly became alert when you heard someone stand behind you. You looked over your shoulder to see the man of your dreams, your captain, someone you had a hopeless schoolgirl crush on.

"Hey." Was all he said giving you a pathetic wave as you huffed.

Folding your hands over your chest you asked "Where were you? You didn't even tell me you were leaving. Not - not that I'd care why would I?" You stammered as you feared you had just accidentally revealed your deepest secret. "You're not that important Steve!" You yelled in an effort to backtrack.

He furrowed his brows before giving you a stupidly handsome smile, "I'm so sorry doll. But I'm here now. Tell me how I can make it up to you."

"Whatever. It doesn't matter." You said dejectedly as you turned around to lean against the railing and continue your stargazing.

"I just knew you'd be here when I didn't see you at the party.” He mumbled under his breath as he stood next to you. You could see him staring at you through your peripheral vision. “What’s wrong kid?”

You winced at the nickname. That’s what he thought of you, that’s all you’ll ever be to him. A Kid. Over the months, you had tried your best to act like an adult, taking some tips from Maria and Nat, to be cool and non-chalant, you doubted he’ll ever change his mind and think of you as a woman or a possible romantic partner.

You shook your head which only made him probe further. “Doll. You’re sulking on your own birthday. You can talk to me.” He assured you putting his hand over yours.

The warmth of his palms and his finger drawing patterns on the back of your hand felt so familiar and comfortable. You tried looked for his sparkly blue eyes best you could in the dark, his pupils blown wide.

“I used to think... I know this is childish but I thought - I don’t know people appreciated me putting my life on the line everyday. And that’s not why I do it obviously.” You had to clarify. You could pretend to hate him but you never wanted him to have a low opinion of you. “It’s just sad that no one sees the work that I do while you’re all so well known and beloved. It’s sucks to be a female avenger I guess” You shrugged.

He gave you an understanding smile and walked a step closer to you as you tried to calm your heartbeat. “I understand. It’s not childish. You deserve to be appreciated. And I can think of at least a couple hundred people who’re thankful to you. All the lives you’ve saved. You make the world a better place.”

“I don’t know how true that is.”

“Well you make my world better just by being here.” He argued.

“Steve,” You shook your head, “You can’t just say things like that! I’m not – it gives me false hope.”

“False hope?” He repeated cocking his head to the side. “I only ever speak the truth sweetheart. In fact I think it’s time for your gift.” He pulled out a piece of paper from his pocket and handed it to you.

You frowned as you tried to read the paper in the low lightening. “Oh... Steve.. you named a star after me?” You looked up at him to see him sheepishly scratch his neck. “That’s so romantic.” You sighed dreamily holding the document close to you.

“I asked around and Bruce told me I could do that. I could even get you a piece of moon but this felt more appropriate. I know how much you love stars.”

He rambled on about the whole process and how his assistant helped him, hoping you wouldn’t see notice how red he was. His gift wasn’t completely selfless. He had an objective, to make you his forever and ever. But he was too scared to ruin the relationship you two did have and lose a precious friend.

Bucky’s words echoed in his head ‘Real men can admit their feelings.’

He cleared his throat “I was hoping –“ he was cut off by your cool lips pressing against his, stealing his breath away. His hands naturally went to your waist to pull you closer to him, his taut body craving the warmth of your soft one.

You pulled away after a beat and blinked up at him. “Oh god, I’m so sorry. I didn’t think I thought...”

“No no I liked it. In fact I was hoping to do that.” His fingers traced the outline of your lips.

“Good.” You nodded not sure of what to say next. But it felt better to just not say anything at all and look back up at the beautiful sky in comfortable silence.

Until the whole team decided to ambush you from, you heard Clint and a drunk Tony sneaking up on you, they really weren’t as sneaky as they thought but you still humored them by acting surprised.

“What the hell girrrl? We’ve been looking everywhere for you. But then I was like we can just ask FRIDAY! So we did.” Tony grinned proudly as his words slurred.

You took the beer bottle away from him “Yeah I’m going to cut you off now.”

“What were you doing here though?” Clint asked and you said something about needing air.

Steve couldn’t help but stare at you as you talked to the rest of the team. Feeling a bit of jealousy and even frustration that they all had to interrupt the precious moment you both shared.

“Did you do it punk?” Bucky asked slapping a hand on his shoulder to get his attention.

“Uh yeah. I mean I didn’t – she did.” He replied lowly so no one else could find out just yet.

“Of course she did.” Steve frowned as his oldest friend clutched his stomach, laughing loudly at him. “After all these years you still haven’t changed.” He shook his head and all Steve could do was smile. “I’m happy for you.” He said and meant it, so proud of his friend.

When Steve was finally able to get you alone, glad that your mood had gotten considerably better, you even seemed to be a bit buzzed from the booze.

“You were right Steve.” You said holding onto his arm treating him like your own personal heater as the night got cooler. “Everyone who matters to me does appreciate me. Especially you.” You leaned up on your tippy toes to peck his lips before scurrying off to tell everyone about the star named after you.

Tags will be in the reblog! Click the link in the bio to be join the taglist or shoot me an ask/dm. Comments and feedback are really appreciated! ❤❤

[notanacousticsetcal]

betty - calum hood

summary - a story based off of the song betty by taylor swift -- one of my absolute favorites from folklore and the most beautiful little story :) (y/n) in the role of the icon betty. 

warnings - cheating

word count - 3k ish

mood board

a/n - check out the other 3 installments of the song series too! this piece is kind of out of the blue because I actually started it and finished it today which is extremely rare for me but I actually really like how it turned out. hope you guys do too. :) (def listen to this song -- its amazing). (btw this isnt the calum fic i was referencing in one of my previous posts, that one is still in the works.)

Betty, I won't make assumptions about why you switched your homeroom, but I think it's 'cause of me.

Calum sat in the back row, staring at Missy Grenshaw’s head feeling the hole in his chest grow larger. He glanced at your empty seat and frowned, his eyebrows scrunched together. 

He heard Mrs. Martin start attendance and when she skipped over your name, the hole grew impossibly larger. 

Calum tried to convince himself you switched because Mrs. Martin was a hard grader, but he knew that wasn’t the real reason.

He knew it was because you couldn’t stand to see his face. 

Betty, one time I was riding on my skateboard when I passed your house. It's like I couldn't breathe.

Calum listened to the sound of a distant lawn mower and the rustling leaves and inhaled the smell of someone barbecuing in their backyard, trying to calm himself. He almost turned around and went home, his stomach grumbling at the idea of dinner waiting for him on the dining room table, but he didn’t. 

He was only a block away from your house now. He pretended like he was riding down your street because it had the smoothest road, but Calum couldn’t lie to himself. Just knowing your room was in that house and knowing you might be sitting on your bed was enough to draw Calum near. 

He didn’t let himself stop in front of the brick fronted modest house, but he wanted to. His legs ached as he kept pushing. He secretly hoped the sound of his wheels would draw you to the window. He held his breath in anticipation, but nothing. Not even a subtle shift in the curtains. 

You heard the rumors from Inez. You can't believe a word she says most times, but this time it was true. The worst thing that I ever did was what I did to you.

“(Y/n)!” A familiar voice chirped from behind you. You turned on your heel to face your friend, Inez. She was your source of gossip always, even if it was almost always speculation and barely ever accurate. 

You weren’t expecting her sad features -- it alarmed you. “Are you alright, Inez? What happened?” You linked arms with her as you continued forward, heading for first period.

She nodded softly. “You aren’t going to want to hear this, (y/n).”

But if I just showed up at your party, would you have me? Would you want me? Would you tell me to go fuck myself or lead me to the garden? In the garden would you trust me if I told you it was just a summer thing? I'm only seventeen, I don't know anything but I know I miss you.

Calum tossed the tennis ball up and caught it. He laid on his bed, absentmindedly continuing to toss the ball up and down, his mind plagued with thoughts about you.

Your birthday was a week away. Calum let his mind wander off in endless possibilities. 

He knew how much he had hurt you and the guilt ate at him constantly. A day didn’t go by that he didn’t beat himself up for being so stupid. 

Nothing was worth more to him than your happiness and he knew that now. He would do anything in his power to fix what he broke, if you’d let him.

He wondered how you would react if he showed up on your doorstep that evening, a bundle of flowers in hand and an apologetic smile on his face. 

He wondered if you’d slam the door in his face and ignore his knocks and desperate pleas. 

Or if you’d hesitantly let him come inside, your guard up, and lead him to the garden to talk alone. If you’d let him ramble on about how stupid he was. About how badly he messed up.

About how much he fucking missed you. 

Your soft smile and your positive, bright disposition and your generosity and selflessness. The way your eyes squinted when you laughed and the way your hair smelled. 

Calum really fucking missed you.

But he knew he didn’t really deserve a second chance. And he was asking a lot begging for one. But he thought he at least had to try.

Or this mistake would haunt him for the rest of his life. 

Betty, I know where it all went wrong, your favorite song was playing from the far side of the gym. I was nowhere to be found, I hate the crowds, you know that. Plus, I saw you dance with him.

Calum walked into the school alongside you, your hand in his and a bright smile on your face. You loved dances and seeing all your friends dressed up -- Calum felt claustrophobic, but he would do anything to keep that smile on your face, so he tagged along anyway.

Immediately, you tugged him towards the dance floor and he followed hesitantly. After only a few moments on the dance floor, Calum excused himself to the sidelines. He watched your expression fall, but you understood. You would never pressure him into anything he was uncomfortable with.

Calum felt like he could finally breathe properly from the edges of the gym.

He watched solemnly as the DJ began to play your favorite song. Your features lit up and Calum couldn’t help but smile, too. He wished he could go in there and dance with you but just the thought of being squished in between so many people made his pulse speed up and his palms sweaty.

He watched Dean approach you, clearly nervous, and his hands turned to fists. Calum had half a mind to go over there and punch him square in the face. 

Calum knew he couldn’t do that, but he had fun imagining it.

Dean grabbed your waist, pulling you close, and Calum’s heart practically stopped.

He couldn’t take anymore, so with one last glance at your soft smile, Calum stalked off in an angry blur.

Calum knew if he had just asked, you would’ve reassured him it was only a dance.

Calum knew if he had just asked, everything wouldn’t have gone the way it did. 

I was walking home on broken cobblestones just thinking of you when she pulled up like a figment of my worst intentions. She said "James, get in, let's drive,” those days turned into nights. Slept next to her but I dreamt of you all summer long.

The sun beat down on Calum’s back and he couldn’t wait to get home. He’d run out of water long ago, riding his skateboard in the early summer heat. 

He stumbled home, skipping happily over cracks in the concrete, skateboard in hand. 

He thought about seeing you after dinner. Taking you to your favorite tree and watching the stars. Or… looking at you while you looked at the stars. He thought about the way you danced with Dean. He still hadn’t told you how much it bothered him so he just let the resentment boil up until it stung the back of his throat.

Calum heard tires screech next to him, a familiar face in the driver's seat. Her red lipstick shimmered in the direct sunlight. Her sunglasses reflected Calum’s awestruck face. 

“Calum, get in. Lets drive,” She said. Her lips quirked up into an inviting smile and Calum swayed hesitantly. “Aw, come on. I’ll drive you home.” 

Calum looked around at the neighborhood once more, checking for witnesses, and then finally climbed into the silver convertible. As soon as he got in, his heart fluttered with guilt. His eyes filled with images of you, hurting, and he almost got out. Almost.

There was Dean again, haunting Calum through memories, smiling down at you, holding you. Calum gripped his skateboard harder, his knuckles growing white.

Her voice was so inviting and her car smelled so nice. The air conditioning hit Calum’s warm skin and soothed it instantly. Calum stayed. 

Calum didn’t just stay, though. He could’ve forgiven himself for that. 

Betty, I'm here on your doorstep and I planned it out for weeks now but It's finally sinking in. Betty, right now is the last time I can dream about what happens when you see my face again. The only thing I wanna do is make it up to you. 

Calum tossed and turned in his sleep, getting more and more frustrated with the nerves. He would face you tomorrow. It would determine the outcome of everything he had been wondering and worrying about for weeks. 

Tomorrow meant everything. He had one last night to drift into dreams about how you might react. The forgiveness or resentment. The smile or the tears. The hug or the shove. 

He drifted to sleep with images of you playing in his mind. In your favorite sweater, his hand in yours. 

Calum hoped with everything in him that you could see past his stupid mistake. But he prepared himself for the worst. You didn’t owe him anything. 

So, I showed up at your party. Yeah, I showed up at your party. Yeah, I showed up at your party. Will you have me? Will you love me? Will you kiss me on the porch in front of all your stupid friends? If you kiss me, will it be just like I dreamed it? Will it patch your broken wings? I'm only seventeen. I don't know anything, but I know I miss you.

Calum straightened out his button down and shifted the flowers, watching a few stray petals fall loose and hit the pavement of your porch. He cleared his throat and listened anxiously while his heart pounded ferociously in his ear. 

He could faintly hear commotion from within the confines of your home but he couldn’t make out anything they were saying.

His shaky hand extended towards the dark wood door and he knocked twice.

Cars were parked a block or two down the street -- all of your friends had already arrived.

Calum could lie and say he meant to be the last person, but in reality, he sat in his car for 30 minutes gathering up the nerve to come over there.

He could see multicolored balloons lining the walls inside. He watched as a figure appeared through the window, the tint making the figure only a silhouette. 

The door began to open and Calum thought for a moment about running, but it was too late. Before he knew it, he was face to face with you again. For the first time in 2 months, you were looking at him and he was looking at you.

He watched as confusion and shock filled your eyes, and then disappeared, filling with pure curiosity. He didn’t notice any anger yet. 

“Calum?” Your voice was like sugar. Calum’s knees felt weak.

“Yeah, hi (y/n).” Calum coughed. “Happy birthday.”

There were a million things Calum wanted to say and that wasn’t necessarily at the top of his list. He mentally face palmed. Your eyebrows knit together. “Thank you?” You looked down at the bouquet of flowers in his hand. “Are those for me?” 

Calum looked down at the flower he almost forgot he was holding, too lost in your eyes to care about anything else. “Oh, yes. Yeah.” He stumbled, holding them out to you.

You took them without a word. 

“So um…” Calum started, wringing out his sweaty hands. “I was hoping I could talk to you for a minute.”

You turned around for a moment towards the chatter coming from the kitchen and then turned back to face him with a sigh. “Why should I say yes?” You didn’t look angry… just tired. 

Calum scratched the back of his neck anxiously. “You don’t owe me anything, I know that. I was hoping to apologize, if you’d let me. I know that I’m the biggest idiot on the planet and I broke your heart and there's no way I can go back and undo that, but I owe it to you to at least try to fix what I broke. You don’t have to let me, though. I wouldn’t be mad if you cursed me out or slapped me or slammed the door in my face. I deserve it. I hurt you, and I suck for that.” He took a deep breath staring at the ground.

Your eyes softened and you sighed. “Come on.” You grabbed Calum’s hand and tugged him into the house, shutting the door softly behind him.

Calum followed your lead as you stepped through the back door into the garden.

You’d planted more of the flowers you told him about months ago and Calum thought your vision was really coming to life. You pulled him to a small metal table in the corner and sat down.

Calum looked around again, taking in all you’d accomplished since you two last spoke. “It looks beautiful, (y/n).”

You sighed, proudly admiring the shrubs and greenery that surrounded you. “I needed something to take my mind off things so I kind of poured my soul into it.” You fiddled with your rings.

Calum knew he was what you needed to take your mind off of and that made him feel even worse. “What I did to you… it was unforgivable. It’s the worst thing I’ve ever done. I betrayed your trust and I hurt you in the worst way imaginable. That girl… it was nothing. It meant nothing.”

Calum watched you carefully as you took this in. Again, you didn’t look angry or sad — just emotionally drained. Numb. “I just… I guess I kinda just wanna know why. Was I… was I not enough?” Calum watched the tears well up that threatened to spill over and down your rosy cheeks.

He shook his head instantly. “No, no. Of course not. I spent a lot of time thinking about it because at first I didn’t even know. But I think I was just… jealous.”

You scoffed. “Jealous?” Calum blushed. “But of who?”

Calum inhaled deeply, prepared to completely embarrass himself. If it meant getting back on good terms with you. “Dean,” he muttered.

You couldn’t help but laugh. And not just chuckle — really laugh. “Dean? Dean Marshall. You were jealous of Dean Marshall?” You put a hand over your mouth to stifle the laughter. It felt nice to laugh after so many weeks of pain. 

Calum rolled his eyes playfully. “Yes, Dean Marshall. When he danced with you at the formal I was pissed.”

You stopped laughing, seeing the hurt in Calum’s soft features.

“You didn’t really think I was interested in him?... Did you?” You asked.

Calum looked down, playing with a loose thread on his trousers.

You let out a heavy sigh. “Oh, Cal. I never had any feelings for Dean.”

“Deep down, I did know that. It was some petty revenge thing in my head. I should’ve just voiced my pain and I know you would’ve reassured me. I was so dumb. I’ve never regretted anything so much in my life.” Calum finished with an exasperated breath and you smiled at his passion.

“Do you want to come in for cake, Cal?” 

Calum’s eyes shot up to read your face. You couldn’t be serious. You laughed at his eagerness and joy. “I would love to come in for cake,” Calum said easily.

You grabbed his hand, guiding him towards the back door and inside.

You ignored the series of gasps from your unsuspecting friends and found Calum a seat around the table. Nobody asked questions. They just smiled. If you were happy and safe, then they were happy too.

After some time, the sun was nearing the horizon and friends were bidding their goodbyes.

Calum hadn’t taken his eyes off you all night.

Your stomach tingled in anticipation whenever you caught his gaze.

Calum got a text from his mom saying she needed him home, so he begrudgingly headed for the door, his hand in yours.

“Happy birthday, again,” he whispered in your ear. 

“Thank you for coming today. It must’ve taken a lot of guts.” You laughed at Calum’s expression.

“You have no idea. But I'm so glad I did it.” He looked down at you fondly and you felt as if your knees might give out.

Before you could stop and think about the consequences, you were leaning closer and so was he.

Your noses barely brushed and the air around you was heating. It felt like everything between you two was leading up to this very moment — this very kiss. 

He stooped down a little lower, pressing his lips gently onto yours. You felt a rush of emotions. You had missed him all this time. You felt ready to try again - slowly building a mutual trust between you two again.

His lips folded over yours at a steady pace. It was soft and not rushed. It was perfect.

When he pulled away, your lips tingled at the absence of his. 

You were startled by the sudden applause.

You friends had gathered in the hall and watched the entire thing. You hid your face in Calum’s shoulder.

Standing in your cardigan. Kissing in my car again. Stopped at a streetlight, you know I miss you.

You slipped into Calum’s car and he smiled fondly. He hadn’t been this happy in so long.

You grabbed his sweater -- the one that had once been yours -- and felt it between your fingers. “You still have this old thing?” 

He smiled, his cheeks glowing a faint pink. He looked adorable with his curls tumbling down across his forehead. “It smells like you.”

You planted a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He had missed you. But he didn’t have to anymore.

[liberty-barnes]

Miah’s 1K Celebration

so...

welcome to the mess that is my 1k celebration cause i’m unable to make simple choices and can’t stand the thought of letting people down

as you can see, i’m perfectly normal

the literal 1005 people following me would disagree on that but heyyy details

so anyway

one thousand

one bloody thousand people following me

my inicial reaction is whyyyy??? i’m just a bisexual disaster who sometimes writes a half decent fanfic but you deemed me worthy of your follow?

then i started crying cause yk

but bottomline is, i love you all, you’re the bestest people in the whole entire world, so i’m gonna make both a sleepover and a writing challenge

sleepover cause i like answering questions

writing challenge cause it gives me a chance to show you all other artists and discover other artists myself cause we all need them and they deserve more recognition

special shoutout to my mutuals who i’ll tag at the end for always being there for me and supporting me through every high and every low, y’all are the real heroes here

BUT ANYWAY, ONTO THE CELEBRATION PART, WHICH FINDS ITSELF UNDER THE CUT OTHERWISE IT’D BE TOO BIG TO PROPERLY REBLOG (i tend to ramble a bit, but you already knew that)

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: December 20th 2020

Who can participate: everyone, anon or not! no need to be following me either

send me asks for:

✨ my opinion on...

🌻 cast my mutuals as...

🎵 i'll put my playlist on shuffle and give you a song

🍉 random fact about me

🦔 what's my favorite...

🍀 i'll give you advice (or just listen to you rant, if you want)

💬 last text [insert person] sent me

💌 handwritten letter

🎬 movie rec

📖 fic or blog rec

📘 inspiration behind [insert fic name], how i came up with it or if you have questions about it

🖋 line from one of my WIPs (tell me if you want fluff or angst, i won't tell you the pairing or anything, that's no fun)

💋 kiss, date, marry [insert people]

🎤 give me a song an i'll do a mini cover of it (it will be 1min long tops cause that's all tumblr can take lmao)

📷 random picture from my camera roll (you can request a theme if you want, like pictures from my childhood or awkward pics or something)

Rules:

• Open to anyone (don't have to be following me)

• Send me a DM or ask with the prompt(s) you want (two people tops per work) and who you're writing about

• Smut is allowed but make sure to put it in the warnings

• I will accept works for any Marvel character or cast member, part of the Holland clan, 1D member or affiliated, Teen Wolf characters or cast member, Maze Runner character or cast member

• Can be reader inserts or not, but please specify it in your DM/ask too

• Tag me when you're done

• All works will be rebloged under #Miah's 1k writing challenge and put in a masterlist that will be specifically created for this writing challenge

Starts: December 11th 2020

Ends: January 11th 2020

Prompt list:

1. “Is that my shirt?” “You mean our shirt?”

2. “Home stopped being a place when you entered my life.”

3. “Stop moving and let me braid your hair.”

4. “Could you say that again?” “Were you not listening?” “No I was, I just like hearing your voice.”

5. “Can you just please hold me?”

6. “You come here often?” “Well considering I work here, yes.”

7. “Can I stay here tonight?”

8. “You’re really warm.”

9. “I’ve been in-love with you since we were kids.”

10. “Why are you wearing my sweater?” “Because it smells like you.”

11. “You are crushing me right now.”

12. “Darling I love you and all, but please get out of my kitchen.”

13. "I leave you alone for five minutes and this happens."

14. "I didn't fall. The floor looked lonely so I wanted to hug it." "Then why are you crying?" "It was an emotional reunion."

15. "There's no such thing as too many fairy lights."

16. “I’m leaving.” “Of course you are, that’s all you know how to do.”

17. “I love you.” “No you don’t”

18. “Any other lies left to tell me?”

19. “I miss the old you.”

20. “What happened to their happily ever after?” “Not all love stories get a happily ever after, sometimes it’s just once upon a time.”

21. “Lie to me. I don’t care what you say, just lie to me. Make me feel okay again.”

22. “Give me one reason why I shouldn’t leave.”

23. "It's okay. It's not your fault that I couldn't be enough."

24. "Please don't leave me."

25. "You have the emotional range of a teaspoon."

26. "Will you shut up for once in your life?"

27. "This isn't about us."

28. "I will shove a christmas tree so far up your ass that when you open your mouth we'll see the fairy lights."

29. "I'm not crying, my eyes are sweating"

30. "Is that blood?" "Yes, but it's not mine." "Is that supposed to make it better?"

31. "I’ll drink to that.” “You drink to everything.” “Cheers!”

32. “Why is arson always your first answer?”

33. "What are you doing?" "What does it look like I'm doing?"

34. "I can explain!" "Then explain." "Okay, I can't explain."

35. "Get out of here with your facts. Just because you're accurate does not mean you're interesting."

36. "How many hearts did you break while trying to keep yours intact?"

37. "I know everything. It's in the job description."

38. "One more word out of you and I'll rip your throat out with my teeth."

39. "Do you listen to girl in red?"

40. "Is that code for something or am I just paranoid?"

41. "With how things have been going, I might as well start working at a circus."

42. "I love (him/her/them)." "Then why did you give up?" "Cause (he/she/they) deserved better."

43. "I want to ask but something tells me the answer will be more disturbing than anything I can think of."

44. "Do you think he's... *flicks wrist*?"

45. "Do I look like an idiot to you?" "Do you want me to answer that honestly or politely?"

46. "Just how clumsy are you?"

47. "So... the weather?"

48. "Just leave."

49. "Don't you fucking dare!"

50. "You don't have to talk right now. But whenever you're ready, if you're ever ready, I'll be here to listen."

tagging and complimenting my amazing mutuals cause y’all deserve it

@parkersbliss​ thank you for marrying me, first of all, and for being the most amazing wife one could ask. i wouldn’t be here if it wasn’t for you and i will never stop ebing thankful for your existence

@peterspideyy​ thank you for listening to my rants along with grace and supporting me during all my simping, you’re the sweetest thing existing since powdered sugar

@theamazingtomholland​ thank you for always putting a smile on my face, reminding me that i’m loved everyday and just being you, cause it’s the best thing you could be

@lozzypoz321​ thank you for listening to me rant abt my fics and how much i hate writing and then motivating me to write again or do basic things like get out of bed lmao (we still have the best taste in music)

@everything-is-alrightt​ kenzie lovely, thank you for being the pure little ball of unfiltered joy that you are cause even thinking about you and the jump shit your brothers get up to makes me smile like crazy, you’re amazing and don’t you dare forget it

@spider-trash​ thank you for being my brother, going alon with my ridiculous schemes for corrupting posie and making me laugh out loud every time you come up with something even worse, you’re the coolest bro i could ask for

and finally, thank you @fallinfortom​ for inspiring me to write in the first place, being an amazing mum to us, an actual good role model for me to have and for your random appearances in my dreams and the fun english teacher who makes us read tom holland fics instead of english literature. you’re amazing and i’m incredibly thankful to know you

love you all to the ends of the universe and back again, Miah

[duckyduc]

I don't know any of your characters, so just give me 1, 11, 17, 23, 36, 55, 65, 72, 82, and 93 for any characters of your choice. (also did you mean to reblog something twice by accident, or did tumbl just do that.)

Ooo thank you for the ask! :D

And about to two reblog thing, sometimes I reblog something and forget to tag it and reblog it again with said tag, occasionally forgetting to delete the original reblog. ÓvÒ so yeah, most of the time it's usually my mistake, I apologise!

Anyways, onto the asks! :D

1. when is their birthday? Ok believe it or not, none of my characters except one has a solid birthday- there's no real reason behind this other than me being bad at deciding birthday's for characters x,3 The only Character I have who has a decided birthday is from my post where I designed 7 characters based on songs on my art side blog! Their name is Blue and their birthday is August 6th, purely because that day is known as unlucky-

11. How would your Character court the person of their dreams? Awww I love this one!! I know most, if not all of my Characters would probably be very dorky and anxious but excited about it and most likely mess up one way or another before hand- for example losing the ringbox, or stumbling on the proposal or something silly- But in the end it'll nearly always be happy and sappy and fluffy and I'll cry writing it because I'm a sucker for love-

17. When does your Character think that violence is justified or deserved? Ooooh that's a good one. I can't actually speak for all my Characters on this one Ha- I have a variety of Character personalities and backgrounds and universes, meaning they'd all have different views on this. Like, for OCs like my Octoling oc, Lavender, retaliation might only be needed if there's a obvious threat like infected octarians since they're basically zombies and will attack and are more obviously bad(?) Oh this question's harD- I think the more human my Characters get, literally and figuratively, and the more creative the universe they live in is, the more difficult it is to tell when violence is "good" or "bad". Kind of like real life, some violence could and should be avoidable and then some is inveitable. Personally, I don't justify violence very easy? I do joke and say I might bust somebody's kneecaps sometimes- but I'd never really bust a innocent person's kneecaps!!!- People are complex so justifiable violence is too

But I think all my characters would agree like me if they saw a "MAP", (aka pedophile, eugh.) TERF, Neo Nazi, Abuser or fascist, those kneecaps??

They gotta go-

23. What do they consider beautiful in others physically? Oh I just realized this will be a long post because I can never be simple- i think for this one I'll just say eyes- Like eyes are gateways to the soul, dare I say eyes are more expressive than mouths, even. Eyes are very pretty-

36. How honorable is your Character? It depends eheh, my Characters go from very cool and honorable to That Kid Who Lives Nextdoor™. Like one of my main OCs, Pepper? She's a whole ass biologist- then there's that one cat oc Blip. Who's just. The neighbor's kid who probably does fortnite dances-

55. (Woo we getting there!) Is your Character an introvert or extrovert? I'll say most are extroverts because I am kind of a extrovert. Kind of, I say-

65. Is your Character better at leading or following? Which do they prefer ? Oh most of my Characters are leaders- I try to design all of my OCs with the idea that they could all be anime main characters while still fitting in enough to be in the same universe but standing out enough to not fall off if that makes sense. I don't like making boring OCs QwQ. Oh also has anyone ever thought about how we all could be an anime main character? Think about it-

72. in a DnD game, which class would your Character be? I've never played DnD but I'm gonna use another one of my Main ocs for this example, Ducky. (A Different Ducky from me!-) she would be a rogue definitely- it sounds nearly just like her, all sneaky and rebellious-

82. What are your Characters sleeping preferences? for most of my characters It must be very nice and cool in the room to sleep- for my softer ones they'll need thick covers and maybe a plushie and a MANDATORY good night's kiss, I'm very sorry I don't make the rules-

Final one!!

93. What is your Characters goal in life? Ohhh a deep one to end off with. Most of my characters, don't really have goals in life h- Mainly because I don't have a goal in life because I'm still growing! I think as they grow and develop too, maybe it'll just come naturally to me what they would want as goals. I'm still thinking about my goals and for now I think my only concrete goal is to make stupid little stories that make people happy. I've been wanting to do that since I was a little kid and I still hope I can do that now, so if reading this made anyone smile or happy then thank you, because it means I've made a positive impact on at least one person's life, and I think that's the coolest feeling in the world

Oh wow this got deep huh??-

If you're still reading this thank you!! Thank you so much for listening to me ramble and be stupid!!!- :D

And a big thank you for vmeemo for the ask!! I loved writing this response and hope to make more someday! Sorry if it's rlly long tho- :,3

Have a good day/night people's!

[letmetellyouaboutmyfeels]

so idk if you could tell but ive been shamelessly scrolling through your timeless tags and for me, while i love garcy and think those two go amazingly well together, when its in a canon universe im always simultaneously like, but what about wyatt??? bc he does NOT belong with jess bc that is just a mess of a relationship/is toxic, and to me (lol) its obvi that he loves lucy and garcia so im constantly like hnggg bc i also totally understand why ppl don't like wyatt/garcyatt and im just: *sob* :(

Phew, okay, sorry it took me some time to answer this. But I have nothing else to do at the moment and no motivation for anything so. As always, I am unable to shut the fuck up, so this is all below the cut.

*cackles* I am SO pleased that you love Garcyatt and that you think Lucy and Flynn would be good for Wyatt because, as captain of the ship, I agree (I mean, if anyone else wants to be captain let me know but the position was open so I AM THE CAPTAIN NOW). I also totally understand why people are pissed at Wyatt and don’t like him, either on his own or as part of the shipping equation.

However, while I am and forever will be the leader of this trash poly triangle, I can get behind the idea of Wyatt and Jess, in the sense that if the show had gotten picked up for a third season, I doubt the writers would have been bold enough to go for a poly triangle (as in Sense8) or even the subtext of one (as they did in Leverage), which leaves Wyatt with two options: Lucy and Jess. Lucy and Wyatt on their own I just don’t agree with. I could get behind it I suppose in the beginning but after season two, no way. With Flynn as their third member, yes, I think the three of them balance each other out very well, but just the two of them? Nope.

However, we got some lovely Wyatt/Jess moments, so if the show had chosen to go in that direction, since it’s the natural direction for said show to go given the development of Lucy and Flynn’s relationship and the COWARDS NOT WANTING TO GIVE US A THROUPLE, I would’ve been behind it.

Provided that Wyatt shapes the fuck up, of course.

The thing is, Wyatt was raised by an abusive father, and we learn in the second season (2x06, I believe, or 2x05) that Jess and Wyatt were high school sweethearts. That means that Wyatt’s view of Jess, whether he realizes it or not, is skewed, because when we have a bad influence in our lives (Wyatt’s father) we counterbalance it with a good influence (Jess). But the good influence, since it is a counterbalancing one, isn’t allowed to be truly human. It’s idealized, put on a pedestal. Hence the “my emotional support actor/show/etc” joke from a lot of people, it’s a self-aware extension of that idea and it’s fine if it’s a fictional character or an actor you’ll never meet or even a real person in your life, HOWEVER, Wyatt doesn’t seem to realize that’s what Jess was to him, and so he’s put her on a pedestal and idealized her AND, since she was the only good thing in his life, he’s hugely protective of his relationship with her and terrified she’ll leave him.

All this leads up to an unhealthy relationship dynamic. Furthermore, Wyatt’s only had his dad as an example on how to be a man, and that leads to the same jealous, angry, possessive behavior towards Jess that his father showed towards him. Wyatt may not realize it, since in his mind he’s just protecting his relationship with Jess (the relationship that formed the cornerstone of his personality and sanity to counterbalance his father’s abuse) and since he doesn’t do the same things his father does, so to him, it doesn’t seem like abuse. In respect to his relationships, Wyatt is still five years old. He’s still a child. He’s desperately clinging to the illusion of safety and home that Jess has given him, at the expense of seeing and treating Jess like an actual person.

We see this with Lucy as he starts to transfer all of those feelings over to her at the end of season one/beginning of season two. He has Lucy on a pedestal. Lucy’s actions such as shooting Jesse James, wanting to go on the offense against Rittenhouse, etc, Wyatt can’t even compute those, because they don’t match his idea of Lucy as this delicate perfect flower he must protect.

So, with Jess going over to Rittenhouse but pregnant with his kid, Wyatt has a huge opportunity before him to be a better person. Jess is not going to be easily persuaded to betray Rittenhouse, if only because it would risk her own personal safety (and that of her child). So Wyatt would really have to work to show Jess through his behavior that he is setting aside that toxic behavior. One way, for example, would be to tell her that he wants her back not because she’s his wife, but because she’s a good person who deserves better than Rittenhouse, and that if she doesn’t want a romantic/sexual relationship with him, that’s okay. This would show Jess that Wyatt cares about her as a person and not just as ‘my wife, mine’.

I think that Jess and Wyatt had, at the end of season two, a great chance to really grow and redeem themselves as people together and through one another. That could have ended as them being platonic co-parents, or as reigniting their relationship on healthier terms and falling back in love. I’m good with either, honestly, because for me what matters is that these are two people who have fucked up (Wyatt more than Jess if you ask me since Jess was manipulated and gaslighted from her childhood by a cult) who care about each other (platonically or romantically) who are ready to use that caring for one another to overcome their obstacles and become better people. And I think that’s beautiful.

So, if the show had gone that direction, I would have totally been okay with that. Will I always prefer Garcyatt? Yes. The Flogan interactions are just too delicious, and I love the idea of Lucy and Wyatt being adorable co-captains of the Flynn is Awesome squad. But the idea of seeing a relationship that was loving, that became toxic, redeem itself and become loving again, I really like that.

maybe it’s because Flynn and Jess are the two people I see challenging Wyatt the most and helping him grow the most and ironically I see Jess and Flynn as the most similar in personality, not Jess and Lucy, but who knows, I’ve been rambling for too long, I’ll shut up now

[poipoi1912]

There are still many people around who talk about SVU. My blog is 80% Barba, Sonny & Barisi, I reblog from you&other popular people all the time PLUS create my own stuff, but it's hard to get a reblog (not to mention a(n) (re-)add...lmao). OK, maybe my blog just sucks, but one of my mutuals makes amazing Barisi&SVU fanart and gets 15 notes max. The content is right here, but everyone keeps 2 their own old clique. Why don't we support each other more? Sorry, this fandom frustrates me sometimes.

I genuinely think the show itself is the problem. For the past couple of seasons, I used to click on the Sonny tag or the Barisi tag and I’d like/reblog everything I saw and I’d get excited and everything was great and I couldn’t wait to go through my dash! This season, I’m like “….eh”. My excitement is almost totally gone. I think a lot of people feel that way (at least going by the number of people who no longer post about SVU or who now have multifandom blogs like me lol).

Speaking for myself, you’ll find that I mostly reblog actual gifs of Sonny or Barba from the new episodes, or shitposts about how far the show has fallen. Even my own meta posts are shorter (and a struggle to write, except for my speculation roundups, which I really enjoy, because they allow me to hear your thoughts). I lack the energy to even make an effort to participate more. I do feel terrible, but my main mood these days is “....eh.”

The fact is, the lack of quality and character development this season is slowly but surely killing my interest. I almost reblog more Lucifer than SVU, at this point, and I’ve followed a dozen Lucifer/Deckerstar blogs just so I can have something I enjoy on my dash. Tumblr-wise, SVU content is, in my view, decreasing. Not in quality, of course, because I do agree that people still create wonderful stuff, but in quantity. Or in frequency. We used to get tons of gif sets and meta after each episode, and we’d discuss each ep for days at a time, but this season there’s not much to gif or talk about.

I do see an uptick in Sonny/Reader or Barba/Reader stories and/or Imagines. In fact, I feel that’s the majority of SVU fic right now, at least on tumblr. Unfortunately, I’ve never really gotten into those, not in any fandom, so I’m just like “You do you guys! I’m glad y’all are enjoying yourselves!

As for cliques, I’ll speak for myself. As anyone here will tell you, I don’t really talk to people via messaging (hi, guys who sent me stuff 6 months ago and I still haven’t replied!) or e-mail etc, because I’m a terrible person and also I am scared of emotional intimacy, so I consider myself a Lone Dick Wolf here. I just use my posts and my tags to communicate with you all (and my asks, when I remember to answer them). I do follow and love some Barisi OGs, if you will, lol, but I don’t think I limit my reblogs just to them (omg do I?). Truth be told, I do occasionally reblog “popular” old school Barisi posts, but that’s because the show hasn’t given us anything new since the S17 finale. And because there’s a sense of nostalgia in reblogging that same Barisi gif set that has 800 notes :’)

Like, 15 notes for a new SVU/Sonny/Barba/Barisi post (unless it’s a gif set) sounds about right, know what I’m saying? In my view, it’s not about us not supporting each other, it’s about (some of) us finding it hard to care these days :(

i say this as i’m working on a ~40K barisi fic lmao i’m a masochist

in my defense it’s a canon AU because canon is no longer interesting or inspiring

also dammit i still love sonny and barba and i always will

Lastly, no one’s blog sucks, anon! We’re all here to have fun! If only the show would let us. I don’t know if you were active last season or the one before that, but I fear you might be experiencing the side-effects of a fandom on the decline. If you’re just starting to participate, and you’re all excited, and you’re making great posts, and you’re not getting the response you deserve, I’m sure you must feel frustrated. The thing is, SVU content may be there, and it may be great, but how many people are still actively interested? 15 lol

unless it’s gifs of barba’s ties and sonny’s tight pants which rightfully get hundreds of notes, because quality schmality, we all have eyes :’)

Again, it all comes down to the show, for me. I can’t pretend I’m still excited, I can’t act like I’m still enjoying it when I literally have to force myself to watch the new episodes. I click on the tags and I have little inclination to reblog anything that isn’t Sonny’s face. It’s sad, but it is what it is. I still write Barisi, because it’s a helpful and healthy creative outlet for me and my real life woes, and I’m attached to these characters, and I’m super-attached to you guys, but I can’t say I’m surprised to see fewer posts and fewer notes for SVU-related content.

I mean, after a boring mess like this week’s episode, who has the energy to reblog anything about it? me lol, but you know what i mean

Thank you for this ask, anon, and I hope my point was clear. If you’re feeling left out, it’s not because your blog sucks (

Disclaimer: I don’t speak for everyone, of course. Those of you who are still super-excited about SVU, y’all are awesome! I’m happy for you, and I envy you. I’m sure you’re out there having fun and excitedly chatting about the show. Don’t let my ramblings sour your enjoyment