#i dont even know what career i want | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

suburbanlegnd · 10 months

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wait what job do you have?

Actually, I DON'T have a job. Not because I don't want to, but lately I have been feeling very lost in life and been in too bad of a mental state to work 👍

#ngl I wish I could have a job that I wouldn't quit (or get fired) after just a few weeks or that wouldn't mentally destroy me #I've had four different jobs and hated them all #i dont even know what career i want #im only seventeen (twenty two) i dont know anything #but y'know #I wish I could just not work #i just want to watch my fav series play video games and pet cute cats #is that too much to ask?#im just a girl after all 😔#anyways sorry for being a menace to society 👍#faye 📖#asked

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lunarharp · 9 months

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if i just told you i love you would this world change

#witch hat tag #orufrey #these kinda suck lol i feel like i cant draw right now *irritated sigh* BUT I FEEL EMOTIONS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#if you are gay go watch good omens season 2 right now. NO YOU DONT KNOW THO!!!!!!!!!#i know being this affected by good omens is probably cringe. I dont care any more. the last 1 minute of good omens season 2 was #some of the most affecting acting i've ever seen in my life. sometimes someone acts with the force as if their entire career led to that #like during the credits part the very end im not even talking about before that. holy god #aziraphale i know everything about you. i know what you are feeling right now. i can see everything on your face. we're going to make it #ER.... NOT THAT THIS HAS ANYTHING TO DO WITH THIS POST. IT'S NOT SPOILERS !!!!!!!!!!!!!#I JUST FEEL THOROUGHLY CHANGED !!!!!!!!!!! SHIT GETS REAL FROM NOW ON.. LIKE IN GENERAL! IN MY LIFE!#tormented gay love tormented gay love TORMENTED GAY LOVE TORMENTED GAY LOVE !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#btw the first 3 images were drawn earlier with an entirely different feeling and an entirely different mood.#Why do you keep pulling away from me?#It is because i love you that i do this #the lyrics from one of my japanese orufrey songs (A SONG THAT THE CREATOR LISTENS TO!!!!) led to feelings #“あなたが知らない私を残さず見ててほしいの” but i'm not translating it cause it just sounds weird. if with his eyes oru's asking “WHY don't you want #to let me in? to see all of you?“ those lyrics are like ”I actually want you to see every last bit of the parts of me you don't know“#oru you have no idea how much i want to lay bare my whole soul for you #maybe it's an alternate version of chapter 40. to me #i need to draw something really fucking good or i'm not going to forgive myself. i will not rest in this life #until i have made the orufrey that fully satisfies me nor until i have seen what the manga is leading to #NO STORY MEANS ANYTHING WITHOUT TORMENTED GAY LOVE AT THE HEART OF IT. THATS THE HEART OF THIS WORLD!!!!!#........... so Hi im normal :) haha *goes and finally makes breakfast*

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suntails · 2 days

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job market misery

#job interview happened. it. went so unbelievably well and then Hours later i get an email that they already offered to someone else #my life is a joke im getting so desperate. my property taxes just DOUBLED nobody in my house has stable income and im stressed #its been months of nothing in animation so i work a desk job but im getting less than half the hours i was promised #like i want to pivot my career i want to do something else im not even picky on what. i thrive in logistics and coordination type roles #but ive applied to 150+ jobs with Nothing. hospital i have an in with? Nothing. gov jobs? Nothing #im willing to move at this point. i dont care. i want to work i want to be stable and boring and happy again.#if someone has advice pls im listening. if someone knows places thatd hire a girl with an animation degree and proj admin experience.#im so miserable too bc it was the ideal role. it was a creative coordinating role i wouldve been PERFECT. they even SAID i was AUGHHH #seriously like i know it seems desperate but im serious if ppl have advice or ideas or leads lmk. my savings areeeeee taking hits

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dmitrigirl · 7 days

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deciding to pull out of my mfa i think is one of the best decisions im making ever. i literally felt my blood warm with a calm sea. ive got time but i dont got funds, right now.

#carrotluvr speaks #im so excited to spend more time doing what i love.... building more of a base in a field...#and im moving to my parks gig in four days.... bless #there wasnt happiness with grad school.... just freaking out #i put down my deposit and burst into tears (bad way)#i cant be 25 and 120k in debt with a coin flip of job security after all of this is done #im 23 like girl chill #AND i dont even wanna go into film industry #i dont even KNOW if i want to do screenwriting as a viable career #im a prose writer and scriptwriter YES but im doing that no matter how i pay the bills #i havent broke it to my folks yet but.... i gotta focus on moving

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sleepless-crows · 3 months

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sometimes i just want to throw up because the people around me are so self centered and ignorant on purpose

#nobody will stop buying from starbucks and mcdonalds #and they will literally humiliate me because i said i do not want to eat that freaking chicken nugget #when people ask you what you want to be. shouldnt it be less about your career and more on the change you contribute to the world #im so sick of everything im not even making sense #im so angry at my friends and my family but they dont feel any guilt whatsoever #and theyre good people. i know. but. theyre not

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girlwithfish · 3 months

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the job application process will make u want to die wheeeeee

#like i feel ashamed if i do work at a coffee shop rn cuz im gna b like yeah ill do this for now and also keep applying for jobs in the actu #actual career i want but realistically i prob wont bc working full time will take up all my time n i wont have energy to apply for other #shit thats what happened to me last time w the last job #Anddd idk i jhst dont feel very adult if i work at a coffee shop im not looking down on food service at all but i feel others will look down #on me like i have a degree what am i DOINGGG but also i just need a job.#And id like a low effort front desk job ik i cld do that and itd be chill idk im not very ambitious but i dont have admin experience so idk #Andddd i kinda gave up on trying to work in publishing editing but ill keep trying idk i shld apply for more copyeditjng stuff >_>#its just all sooooo muchhhh #what am i even doinggg idont know what i want i jhst want a job that doesnt make me stressed or sad and decent pay. yipee #and i dont wanna rly work in food service or retail or customer service Lol #like i wanna sit down. and work on the puter. i can do that #IDK #but yeah at least i got an interview ig for this barista job but its not what i rly want but maybe i shld jjst go for it cuz idk if #im gonna hear back from anything else atm.

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lewishamil10n · 8 months

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my brain is so full of fuck tonight

#sth sth feeling unfulfilled. i know its only middle of the night thoughts but ive been so low lately. im not where i wanted to be #and i regret my career choices n i regret not standing up for myself but also i dont blame myself bc younger me was v much a people pleaser #and i just didn't wanna upset n disappoint my parents in any way . they're so proud of me when they tell ppl what i do and on the inside #im just cringing bc there's no joy in it anymore n im not even 30 n wont be for a few yrs yet im not SUPPOSED to feel this way #my job situation isnt good n all i can do is hope n pray im able to go abroad because if i cant im literally afraid i will give up #n also i regret not standing up for myself to my mum n stopping sertraline . i wonder who i would be today if i had continued meds #n now there's a v good chance im gonna need more medications for what seems like undiagnosed n severe adhd #n i am just. so fucking burnt out n no one around me gets it !!! 'why arent u happy' im just not! im not! and idk what to do about it !!!#ugh sorry im just venting #tbd #remy.txt

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that-ikea-alien-plush · 4 days

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"i make out with my friends daily minsung aint shit"

im??? flabbergasted

#minsung mention #bitches will say dont ship your idols its disgusting mf they ship themselves the other members ship them the staff ships them-#even Aphrodite ships them #“dont call them gay it migtj ruin their careers” mf gay is not an insult!!!! if they had something against it they wouldnt act so fruity-#with eachother in front of cameras #and chan said they literally act like that at home too #stray kids does what they want and are succesful enough that they can get a little gay bruh #theres 8 of them at least one is fruity #and we all fuxkim know its leeknow #dont tell me yall think his ass straight cus i wont believe you #theres more proof for them being queer than for them being straight

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i-bring-crack · 9 months

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Pov: You caught me re reading the dossiers for the nth time

#solo leveling #sung jin woo #woo jinchul #they know each other and yet they dont know each other and the fact that the world is so tiny but so big as jinwoo tried to maintain #his composture when he was just 15 seeing his father dissapear from his life and woo jin chul never truly wanting to change his career unti #until the freaking momwnt where he is shown and like you can see it very clearly how this was the only time jinwoo had relaxed #and how destiny just stabbed him in the back like that and since then he would (probably) be in constant fear of ever loosing #his family again and you also see woo jin chul who is a man who works hard with his passions and wanted to not let all his work go to waste #yet he has such a strong attitude of doing what is right for others that just from seeing jinwoo he leaves his work all behind #and chooses to become a member of the assosiation going so far as even trying to study and learn as much things as he can about hunters and #gates and then even if he doesnt need it at the end he doesnt leave it behind #he isnt bothered by it #and like he still keeps going #and i better repeat #his only motivation his real dream was to be a detective #he wanted peace he wanted justice #and yet he still let it all go to bring justice in another kind of form im dead dying dead dying #and im not even crying upon the irony of Jinwoo bringing haein to relax in the same amusement park ONLY TO FREAKING DIE A DAY LATER LIKE #WHAT KIND OF CURSED AMUSEMENT PARK IS THIS #please this was the only time haein and probably jinwoo too had also relaxed AND BROTHER THEN YOU DIE—#solo sobbing #solo leveling spoilers

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fulcrvm · 9 months

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was so caught up in the euphoria of completing my first full page illustration since febuary after 10 months of work that i completely forgot im getting kicked from my dream major

#i got an email about it for the first time in 2ish months and god fucking damn its emotional whiplash #is it even worth getting a degree in a subject i did not apply for and do not want to make my career #ive never felt how im feeling before. this is probably a normal feeling. doesnt mean i like it though #theyre not going to let me back into my major. theyre not. waste of money waste of time i dont know. i liked learning i had such a nice year #and this is the outcome. god #and even if i switch to my backup major ill already be behind in the material and context. i dont know i dont know #im so tired of this. i dont know #i dont know i dont know i dont even feel proud of my work anymore #i need space i need time i need company i need support i dont know #what a year. hm #also please no unsolicited advice on this specific post i am not in the mind for it rn

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dq1 · 2 months

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thinking again

#feel like i have become too complacent with watering myself down into an easily digestible identify for society #partially bc of my career is very conservative.. so #no piercings or tattoos. cut my long hair off to a mens hairstyle. i pass exclusively as a cis straight man as much as i can #especially around the old head bosses i meat #stopped learning japanese even though im mixed so i could learn French because its more useful where i live #i dont want to be useful and i dont want to be seen as some creature mimicking human anatomy like a robot i just want 2 be myself #but ive been doing this so long idk who myself would even be anymore #sometimes i get into old interests i had as a kid and i feel that spark like that 12 yr old didnt die on the inside but then its gone again #i wish a version of myself thats not palatable to my peers could exist #i want to relearn japanese and i want to ride motorcycles and i want to get into certain types of music or clothes #but it also feels like none of it really matters anymore at the same time #if i could be anything i would be a funeral director in nagoya but thats something that can never happen #i shove everything i like down so deep you have to reach to find it #this whole blog is an amalgamation of who i was and who i wished i could be #but being human we r just cursed with bodies that dont feel like our own and having to cut and shape them in a way #that u feel better but not enough so that the people around you are frightened #this is mostly the fact i have avoidant personality disorder and i know i can never be what normal is for most people #i want 2 be myself but myself died somewhere in a past life i think #i am not even human on the inside. half the time i joke w people that im an rpg slime or the human version of those sponge slimes #hence my nickname irl literally being gelo / jello / jelly #and if not that then black German shepherd dogs r also literally just me #but alas i am stuck in a human body #one thats too fat too hairy too sick too broken and i have to deal with it and rebuild myself everyday so people aren't uncomfortable #ANYWAY!!! maybe ill add onto this later ...idk.#to be born again.. sighs.

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qumiiiquinnquin · 6 months

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ill never be good enough at anything

#vent #events of today only proved it #im genuinely so close to giving up completely #i dont feel happy when I draw because I know its not good enough and im ashamed when others see it because I know they think the same thing #I dont feel satisfied or accomplished when finishing schoolwork because I know others will have done it better and responded better and im #the stupidest person of the entire class. some things I just dont understand but I know everyone else or lots of others did #i cant do anything right. i cant socialize correctly. i cant remember to do anything. i cant keep any stable relationships #i know if i get a job they'll ly me off or fire me within days max weeks. i dont expect to be able to hold down a job for long #i dont have the skills necessary to become what I want to be which is a meteorologist. i struggle in math and that career is a lot of math #i actually want to be an artist too but ill die a lonely death. i cant even do this class. and artists are not paid enough to survive #hell what I do right now with art in my spare time is much worse than others. a mouse and microsoft paint. both arent good enough #i cant not compare myself to others. i know that they're all better than me. and im around these people every day and see it on social medi #i really want to put my art in our shredder and permanently delete files. i want to drop out. i dont know what to do with myself because i #know that im not good enough for anything except lay in bed like the depressed piece of shit i am and end up getting kicked out #i thought about just leaving class today and throwing myself down the stairwell from the top floor i was already on #just over the barrier thats right next to the first flight of stairs that prevents people from falling off the stairs from a height #the one you can look down and see the following flight of stairs. just throw myself down from that and hurt myself significantly.#ive been thinking about jumping again. from a new part of campus thats higher than where i initially wanted to fall from #if not those then sl!t my wrist or run into traffic #i just need to d!e. There's no room for someone as worthless as me #i cried when I came home today because im just done. i cant carry on and itd be better if i didnt. itd be preferred.

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eebooduh · 10 months

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Up until recently I was very confident in my identity as an aroace person. However lately all of my friends have been getting into relationships and it seems like all they want to talk about now is their romance and sexlives. We used to meet up and talk about our interests and the world and the future. Now all I hear about is dates and sex. It's not bad to be invested in your relationship and its not bad to want to confide in people about it. I would absolutely not mind talking about it but I wish it wasn't all we could talk about now. I feel lonely while I'm with people I've been friends with for years because we can't connect when we're together anymore. And maybe thats selfish of me but it's not like I don't want to talk about romance and sex at all, I just want to be able to talk about other things too.

#asexuality #aromantic #aromantism #asexual #aroace #I don't know man its just that when we hang out for 3 and a half hours and you spend 3 of them talking about your boyfriend its like #what do you want me to say about that #because i cant reciprocate with any stories of my own #and im having a hard time faking how excited i am to hear about how deep he apparently was last night #like girl i dont need to ever know that #this post is very specific to something that happened to me yesterday because i met up with an old friend who i hadnt seen in months #we used to have so much in common and we would spend hours on the phone every few days but now its like we cant talk at all #it also happened with another friend where we hung out for 6 hours and im not even joking she spend all 6 of them talking about the guy she #had a crush on #like i want to hear about your life and im fine talking about your sex life but bro #i have stuff to talk about too #and like??? how is this guy your whole life #what about your career and your hobbies and all that?#idk i think i just dont get it cause im aroace but it makes me feel lonely while im with people

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princeanxious · 1 year

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#hi yes i cant be the only young adult that has no fucking clue what to do with their life right?#not even playing the ‘haha same’ card rn but genuinely actually no idea what interests me ‘career-wise’#‘i’m just worried about you. what to you want to do with your life?’ LIKE #FUCK I DONT KNOW I STILL GENUINELY NEVER EXPECTED GETTING THIS FAR #i dont like *anything* specifically enough to want to base a whole life on it.#i dont. *love* things #outside of art anyway. and we already know art aint a viable career in america unless u grind like hell-#-and let me tell u i do not love life enough to grind like hell just to live off the biggest thing that gives me joy #because then it would stop giving me joy #like once upon a time i thought i might do good as a baker and now that i know i cant eat gluten most food is ruined for me #i hate food and making food. eating is a chore and i do not enjoy it. i gave up baking.#like. there are more examples but every avenue i’ve tried to take that i like has failed me in a way that sucks all the joy out of it #having a career feels meaningless to me. going back to college just feels like a pointless and indebting endeavor.#am i just depressed? is my brain just still way off base chemically?#it’s pissing me off and stressing me out honestly.#luka vents #delete later

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