every single day i think about the influence touya would have had on shouto as an older brother.
he has to take him everywhere he goes, so they're always jamming to the same hardcore music in touya's shitty car. shouto, obviously, develops a taste for the same bands, same songs. shouto is also in the ride-along to buy cigarettes and beer at midnight, and touya threatens his whole entire life if he tells rei, but shouto would never because he likes going too much.
shouto 100% would attempt to kick the ass of anyone that talked shit to his brother. little string bean, doesn't matter, this little boy is throwing HANDS for touya, and touya very much has the attitude of "no one can fuck with my little brother but me". whenever shouto gets in trouble for doing something he shouldn't be doing, touya is always taking the fall for him, no questions asked. shouto lies for touya like it's second nature.
shouto wants an earring because of touya, and touya probably GIVES the piercing to him, which makes enji blow a gasket. touya learns to play the drums and then shouto wants to, too — though he ends up being better than touya and touya promptly quits after that. touya teaches him to drive. shouto gets drunk for the first time with touya BECAUSE touya wants to be there to take care of him. they hate each other, they get into fist fights all the time, rolling around the house as fuyumi screams at both of them. they're best friends. they understand each other more than anyone else ever could.
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the way they acknowledged all the hurt gabriel had caused them both, especially crowley, how profoundly he'd had them terrified for thousands of years, how he had been one of the singular reasons they were unable to ever act on their feelings for each other, and then turned around and gave him the happy ending they'd been yearning for instead. I think that's honestly why I'm more upset than anything. I cannot make my peace with the way this played out because letting gabriel and beelzebub, the two characters who were most instrumental in trying to destroy crowley and aziraphale for loving each other last season, go off together with no punishment and no questions asked, letting them do the exact thing they made aziraphale and crowley too scared to do for literal fucking millennia, is so unbelievably cruel, so intentionally spiteful towards them and us, that it makes me sick to my fucking stomach just thinking about it. it's such a slap in the face. the fact they went as far to have crowley sit gabriel down and tell him just how much he hates him for what he did to the man he loved, for keeping them apart, for making sure that he never got to be with aziraphale in the way he wanted, only to watch him get literally everything he'd ached for for his entire fucking existence, without working for it, without apologising, would have been sickening enough, but for then to put crowley through losing aziraphale again as a direct result of that. it's sick. it's twisted. and I am not going to forgive.
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Ridonculous Race but Noah is friends with Owen part 6: I'm sorry, even when I don't say it.
This was so clearly supposed to be a turning point in their relationship and the status quo. Why they wrote this episode just to return to said status quo I will never understand. Aaaanyway, in my perfect little world (this series), this is a turning point that gives leeway to Noah trusting and caring more about Owen going forward. He still likes Emma of course, but that doesn't mean Owen is any less important to him, and I'm sure he'll learn to show it :]
Transcript:
Image 1
Owen: How did we go from first to LAST?
Image 2
Owen: Woah, buddy. Are you alright? ...Noah?
Image 3
Noah: ...
Image 4
Owen: (Sigh.) Alright, listen. I can appreciate that you have a crush on Emma- and believe me- I know how strong that feeling can be and how it can mess with you...
Image 5
Owen: ...but racing with you has been the most fun ever! It'd stink if we had to go home because your head wasn't in the game!
Owen: Not to mention you might end up losing Emma for good.
Owen: I know you, dude. And I know that's not what you want.
Image 6
Owen: I know you want to win this thing! So... at least for now...
Owen: Stop trying to be some girls hero...
Owen: and be my hero.
Image 7
Owen: Okaaaay?
Image 8
Noah: ...okay.
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Life Tracker updated for Episode 7! This one is much quicker than Episode 6 on account of not being on holiday at the time, even though there were two thirds more deaths this time. Previous posts: Session 6, Session 5, Session 4. Also Session 8 (finale) post!
As usual, close ups and commentary below the cut. I’ve also added another graph for the average time of each team, which will also be below the cut.
There was so much carnage! 45 whole deaths in a single session! Not all deaths were awarded time during the session, but Scott’s video advised that it would be added by next session, so I have taken the liberty to add all the time as I see fit, hence why Scott is back to 7.5 hours. I haven’t seen every episode yet (in fact, other than Scott, I’ve only seen those that have perma-died), so I’m not sure if anyone else’s time is a mismatch, but if so I’m happy to explain where I’m getting my time additions and subtractions from!
Now for some close ups.
First, there was enough chaos that I decided to take a close up of Session 6 and 7 together so we can properly appreciate it:
And a close up of Session 7 by itself:
So many people lost major time, so it’s interesting to see Scott’s uptick of time at the end - he ended on only 30 minutes less than he would have been if he hadn’t died at all this session. Pearl didn’t die at all, and got the kill credit for Martyn blowing himself up in a trap, so she actually ended the session 30 minutes better than she started it. Grian also did very well for himself - he killed and died so many times, but somehow ended on the exact time he would have been on if he had experienced a peaceful deathless session.
BigB, Cleo, and Martyn all ended the session 1 hour poorer than they started, and Bdubs and Scar ended 1.5 hours below where they would have been. Nosy Neighbours are thus doing super well, with Mean Gills and Clockers not too far behind, in terms of maintaining position from the start of the session.
TIES had an awful time this session, with Impulse and Tango both losing a net 2 hours, and Etho and Skizz losing a net 2.5 hours - and obviously Skizz entirely died.
Joel possibly had the worst time, losing a net 3.5 hours this session - though it didn’t help that 5 of his 7 deaths were all caused by the one person. Technically Jimmy didn’t do too badly, given he only lost a net 1.5 hours... but given that he was out of the series only an hour into the session, and also the first out entirely... it really didn’t go well for him either
I also find it interesting the sheer number of vertical lines this graph, the ones representing a death immediately followed by a kill or vice versa. I would love to figure out a way to show only one line at a time on the graph, so we can more easily see someone’s journey, but I haven’t had time to look into it yet.
Now onto the graph of the average times per team.
This one is super interesting to me, especially TIES’s line - they had the lowest average life right from the start, but somehow by Session 4, through Session 5, and for most of Session 6, they were the team with the highest average time, and then it quite literally went downhill from there. The only thing saving them from being last now is the fact that the Bad Boys are down to only a single living player, and even then Grian is doing far better than most of TIES.
It’s also interesting to me how Mean Gills had a significant time uptick at the end of both Session 6 and Session 7 (the first due to Martyn and the second due to Scott). Scott’s time was so high that it kept Mean Gills’ average time as yellow for all of Session 6 despite Martyn being red for most of it... and Martyn then got enough kills to keep it there. Mean Gills is also the only team in the entire graph to anywhere gain such consistent significant time.
These averages also coincide with the comments I made above about the time offset difference for each player from the start to end of the session. Mean Gills are doing well, but they’ve been doing well for so long that I’m sure most players are aware that they need to be a target. Nosy Neighbours are also doing well but I feel like they’ve flown under the radar, and are not a significant target right now.
Here is a close up of this graph with Sessions 1-4:
And the close up for Session 5-7:
And the Session 7 only close up:
I kept the dead players in the teams’ averages, since I think it is a better reflection of the teams’ strength as a whole, but I also created a version that excluded dead players. In those screenshots you can really see Bad Boys’ and TIES’ time jumping up at a death, instead of falling as it did here.
Here are the alternate averages graph:
And close ups:
This makes Bad Boys look a lot better, because Grian does have a lot of time... but he is also alone. And there is definitely strength in numbers. Two players at an hour and a half each can fend off an attacker more easily than a single player at three hours can... unless nerves and panic get to them, as we definitely saw this session.
Wow and I almost forgot to include the raw data for this session!
The first hour of the session:
The second hour of the session:
There is just so much death! Look at all the box outlines!! I could barely fit this data on two screens on the zoom I was on, and I did not want to zoom out further.
I also obviously have data for the averages, but it was too far away from the column with the times on it that I wasn’t sure if it would still be useful on its own? Let me know if you want to see it!
This has once again been fascinating to see, and I cannot wait to see how Session 8 will go. Will it be the last session? Will they go until everyone is dead? Will they somehow have enough people with enough time to get to Session 9? Will Mean Gills be the final two and get to play fun relaxing games like Scott was suggesting?
Only time will tell.
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[Trigun OC]
Team "would rather die than admit something's bothering them"
So for the first good chunk of their relationship, Bad Luck and Vash were more "fucking" than "dating". Bad Luck was really apprehensive about romantic entanglements, and had been taken advantage of by a friend, in the past. (While not THE reason he was kicked out of his community, it was definitely related.)
However, Vash-- aware of Luck's hesitance but not of the reasons why-- already had a little bit of a crush on him. So when Luck stupidly offered a FWB situation, Vash accepted, thinking he could be chill about it. He quickly realized, no, he could NOT be chill about it, and spent the next few months relentlessly pining and feeling guilty and wanting to broach the subject, but never saying anything.
Eventually, Vash's crush gets revealed, and by that point Bad Luck has kinda fallen in love with him and they get together and Bad Luck insists that it's all fine, water under the bridge. Truthfully, though, he feels a little betrayed, and has this sense of "why the fuck would you think that's a good idea" towards Vash, hanging over his head. But he also thinks he has no place feeling this way because he never told Vash why he was so hesitant (and still hasn't), and also he does love Vash now anyway, so there's really no point bringing this up now and messing with the status quo, right?
And that's just the beginning of their relationship. There's a whole bunch of other plot-related problems they never talk about until after things boil over. Eventually, they'll get their acts together and talk through everything, I promise. Eventually. It just, might take until after the plot's fully resolved for them to get there.
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Staying on my Couch
When you ask if I know anybody who needs a roommate, I offer to let you crash at my place for a few days. You tell me you don't need help moving, showing up at my door with two bags and whatever's in your pockets. I offer to take the couch, but you already feel bad about the situation. The first week consists of you trying to stay out of my way. It breaks my heart. I assume you're just getting comfortable and try to leave you be.
Your mood doesn't improve. The job hunt isn't going well, and you're hoping I don't ask for help with the bills. Finally I catch you, making you sit up so I can join you on the couch. You swear up and down that it's not me; I've been nothing but kind to you. But I feel like I could do better. I tell you to take a short break from applying to recharge.
The next few days I try more to make you feel at home. Insisting you eat with me rather than reheating my cooking, learning more about your life before you got here, and watching shows together on the couch. You aren't happy, but you're starting to be happier. Seeing those rare half-hearted smiles, noticing you tense up less when I'm around. It makes me happier than I thought possible. When you ask to see my bedroom I have to contain my excitement. I had been keeping it clean for days now, much longer than I did in the past. I sheepishly watch as your eyes dart around the room. You leave after a minute or two, content to not comment on any of my clothes or the posters on the wall.
Your phone not working catches you off-guard. You guess mom finally decided to stop paying for you. I don't want to pry, instead offering to add you onto my phone plan. You tell me you're very grateful, even if your contacts didn't get saved somehow. I never tell you I swapped the SIM card while you were asleep. Betraying the trust you have in me hurts. But I was so happy to see how soundly you slept now.
The nicer I am to you, the more comfortable you get around me. And the bolder I get. Your wallet's been empty for days now. The money went back to you, of course. Until one of those jobs calls you back, it's not like you need your ID for anything. I find some nice looking clothes I came across on clearance. They fit surprisingly well, even if some of them aren't your style. Once, we both fell asleep on the couch. I tried to apologize, but you laughed it off. It was the first time I heard that laugh.
On the day you ask again to see my bedroom, you hear me talking to somebody at the door. There's something familiar about the other woman's voice. I'm very sorry ma'am, but I don't know who you're talking about. She's gone by the time you show up behind me to ask. It was a missing persons case. Things like that scare me. I gently grab your hand. This is it. This is your chance to help me worry less. Your opportunity to make me happy, just like I made you happy.
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