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#i dont know why im putting my full thoughts in the tags but i guess i am
worfianism · 1 year
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Listen whoever decided to pair up La'an and an alternate version of Jim Kirk in a romcom style classic time travel episode actually galaxy brained. Freaking great episode.
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devilsainz · 1 year
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Tagged by @watercolor-hearts, I'm actually surprised someone remembers my @ to tag me in these! quite heartwarming tbh, thank you lovely, hope you have a nice day/evening/morning 🤗💙
Name: my true name starts with a. m. but since i'm a person on the verge of mixing reality w/ virtual i rather be just called goggles lmao (not to be too vague, my second one is miguel, a quite common latino name, but the first one is quite unusual and it feels too real to be called like that so im hiding it lol)
Sign: Leo (i copied from the op who tagged me and yes this is my sign as well)
Time: 19:16 (i definetely spent too much time elaborating and correcting my own answers lmao)
Favourite band/artist: the short version or the long one? cause honestly im kind of into music as a whole, but to select just a few, i'd say Fiona Apple, Joanna Newsom, Beyoncé and Björk. yep, all ladies, dont ask me why but i just connect with female vocalists more
Last movie: ooh.. this one is quite been some time actually... i think it was Knives Out: Glass Onion! just a little bit of silly fun entertainment and cause i was honestly curious cause i liked watching the 1st knives out.
Last show: Drive to survive 🤷‍♂️ im not a very series person tbh (even dts i only watched the eps i actually was curious about lmao)
When I created this blog: this kind of has 2 answers idk. because this used to be a ziam - yes you read that right - a ziam blog lmao but i didnt put much thought into it tho. then i just stopped using for years, and i just came 2 months ago back to delete it and replace with this actual blog cause i discovered the charlos side of tumblr and wanted to interact w the blogs i discoveeed, reblog and all that jazz.
Other blogs: other than the one i deleted, no, i just have this active blog.
Do I get asks: no i turned them off lol but i dont mind actually i get kind of peaceful thinking im just a dot in this vast virtual world of internet, at least here
Followers: 125 accs (i guess, i dont check bots but i dont think there are too much of them)
Average hours of sleep: i guess it varies on 6-8? there are days a sleep a little bit later but tbh i dont keep track of these lol but i can tell i've been pretty okay with my schedule lately, at least my insomnia stopped
Instruments: nope. i have a shitty keyboard but i just gave up on learning, but i do plan on trying again, just dont know when
What I am wearing: green shorts and an ugly printed but comfortable t shirt
Dream job: i mean, it says dream job... so i might go full in... singer/songwriter 🤓
Dream trip: actually i'm not really obsessed about trips anymore... but if i had to pick one i'm just saying Madrid cause its where carlos jr was born 🤓 (i still want to go there and investigate in person to find his official time of birth btw, so yep im picking madrid)
Favorite song atm: i have a lot of songs being my faves simultaneously and it changes fast depending on the moments/moods but im going with In California by Joanna Newsom cause the chorus when she sings "cuckoo cuckoo" its freaking amazing tbh. for my more upbeat side tho i'm picking Those Eyes, That Mouth by cocteau twins.
Tagging:@leclercsbf and @leoramage (tagging you two cause you were the ones to start a conversation w me so i think it wouldn't be too awkward lol but hey, feel free to ignore if you dont want to or dont like these, no hard feelings, were just dots in a virtual space)
(ps: i was actually very defensive about these kind of posts but i tried this one for fun and hey it is fun! it was kind of cool to talk about myself freely without my face or name plastered on it so thanks for that, person who tagged me)
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belovedcherie · 2 years
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I posted 498 times in 2022
That's 498 more posts than 2021!
94 posts created (19%)
404 posts reblogged (81%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
@luymani
@pcktknife
@tizzymcwizzy
@belovedcherie (lol its me)
@buggachat
I tagged 497 of my posts in 2022
#art - 137 posts
#reblog - 128 posts
#fav!!! - 101 posts
#cherie's chats - 69 posts
#miraculous ladybug - 64 posts
#project sekai - 56 posts
#cherie watches stuff! - 30 posts
#cherie's aesthetic - 21 posts
#spy x family - 20 posts
#splatoon - 18 posts
Longest Tag: 139 characters
#if i had a penny for everytime we were worried bakugou died i'd have 2 pennies which isnt a lot but its concerning that it happened twice..
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
THAT TEASER IS GOING TO PUT ME IN A DAMN COMA
9 notes - Posted July 1, 2022
#4
thoughts on multiplication
bc i need to scream about this SOMEWHERE. LIKE WOW. OKAY.
obviously spoilers are under the cut !!
tld;r: yelling abt adrien and WHAT ARE EVERYONES INTENTIONS??
ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE ADRIEN FALLING FOR MARINETTE
yes im gonna yell about this first because adrienette holds my HEART YOU DONT UNDERSTAND THEY R EVERYTHING TO ME </3
ive been waiting for adrien to pin for marinette in canon for so long and season 3 def delivered with the little stares he was giving her BUT NOW THAT ITS FRFR HAPPENING?? HIS BLUSH WHEN HE LOOKS AT HER IN THE MORNING? HIM IMMEDIATELY CALLING HER UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT TO TELL HER HOW SPECIAL SHE IS? SOBBING
okay but the fact that he probs tried to kiss her every. day. we only saw 3 sequences but if that montage happened over the span of several weeks..... i am swooning. i am in tears. shambles.
adrien had me KICKING MY FEET AND RUNNING LAPS OKAY I HAD TO PAUSE SO MANY TIMESSDHFK
that being said before i write an essay on light of my life adrien lets talk abt,,,
reverse love square??
i love the idea of reverse love square bc adrien being a lovesick fool for marinette is my aesthetic but iM JUST HJDGSFSGKF BC OF THE TIMINGG
i was kinda hoping for some sudden rapid development today but im not complaining at all dw 🙏🏾 simp-drien is enough
the ladynoir moments are real cute tho :( them playing cards im cryingsdjhs
im excited to see the ship dynamic in the future episodes heheheh
GABRIEL. AGRESTE.
this man becomes more of a loser every episode what else is there to say
him digitalizing adrien.... funny... not funny haha...funny weird....
i hate when this guy gets smarter cuz he always has some wack trick up his sleeve 😔 but i wanna know more abt those weird siri rings
ALSO HOW DOES TOMOE PLAY IN THIS?? i think she knows hes hawkmoth but why is she helping him?? ik they were leading up to their partnership before so i guess we'll finally see why they were so secretive in the past!!
lie-la
i was gonna talk abt her in the gabriel point but this girl is so annoying she deserves one for herself
SHE GETS ON MY LAST NERVEEE
the genuine irritation i feel whenever i see her character on screen is actually funny
"ladybugs just a kid we need to forgive her ;(" GIRL I HOPE PARIS CAN FORGIVE U FOR THE CRIMES YOU'VE COMMITTED??
im sorry theres nothing productive to say abt her other than the fact that it seems shes going to play a bigger role this season (sadly) (but also yay cuz she brings the spice)
okay last point is abt felix
HELP WHEN HE APPEARED AT THE END 💀💀 THIS GUY WAS HERE THE WHOLE TIME????
i hope and PRAY he treats dusuu well homegirls been going through it D:
WHAT. ARE. HIS. INTENTIONS.
See the full post
11 notes - Posted June 21, 2022
#3
i saw miraculous was trending and i was like OMG IS THERE FINALLY A NEW SEASON 5 EP?? but it was just beau 😭
12 notes - Posted August 30, 2022
#2
HI so um. back in 2020 kade made this meme thing and i dont think ive ever recovered from it bc I WAS SO TOUCHED LIKE 🙁 NOBODYS EVER MADE ME A MEME BEFORE
since we started talking again a month (+ a day bc i am late) ago i had the idea to make him one in return bc TALKING TO U MAKES ME SO HAPPY AND U DESERVE THE WORLD !!!
sooo here ya go @luymani ILYSM!! happy one month anniversary /p (that sounded way funnier in my head im so sorry LMAO)
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13 notes - Posted August 9, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
thinking abt my son syaoran li ♡
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See the full post
27 notes - Posted July 27, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →
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m4nd0l0r · 2 years
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Five Hargreeves Headcanons (That Have Consumed Every Single Space in my Mind-)
Description: “Live.. Laugh… Love the insanity the apocalypse brings me.” -Five Hargreeves, tired after a caffeine rush and/or from a drunken high. 2019. (this is canon.. HE TOLD ME HIMSELF)
Author’s Note: this is just how I’m dealing with writer’s block— i swear i’m still working on my upcoming Five fics- 😭😭 so uh have this for now i guess 🥲 no warnings btw!! its just me writing in lowercase a lot- a shit ton of crack and swearing- (five’s body is aged up- and his consciousness ranges from 30 to 50 in my works— however you decided which age you want for your experience :)))
Five Taglist (i forgot to tag im so sorry 😭): @ells-graveyard @noahspector @aelinismyqueen @sunweee @reinaeru @ne0boss @twauna00 @placidpluto @eichenhouseproperty @heartsforsuyin @ghostlywavelengths @technicallydifferenttraveler @seconds-not-decades @magical-girl-on-fire @emotionally-unstabel @peachy-wolfhard @its-loki-bitch @raven-fandomtrash @theilliterateskankula @magicstrange @ne0boss @venusrambles @whereintheworldisspencerreid @honeycombdumbass @mivzai @oscarisaacsleftballsack @zenithinthebin @peachteeaaa @rchaoz @wickedmystery @wordsandnerds @umbrellatte @666abby6666 @iameddiemunsonshair @starlightinhumanform @vennythearsonist @trashmouthsahra (if you want to be removed/added, pls tell me via pm!!)
he likes bitter coffee candy (if the mf cant get coffee he’d raid a candy shop rather than logically coming after a cafe-)
likes slasher films for how creative the deaths look (esp if its practical effects, he’s a sucker for those) (he likes nightmare on elm street, he gives me that impression for WHAT)
^ cos of this- i basically headcanon that in his commission days- he’d kill creatively- as if it were his canvas, my guy is an artist with blood 💪
idk why but he’d be an avid “gelato is NOT ice cream you idiot” typa guy (fucker knows italian and my ass RAN W IT)
he watches julia roberts romance movies (cos i like her rom films so im projecting-) (he def likes the maturity of the ending of my best friend’s wedding)
for some reason he considers mocha as chocolate rather than coffee (like the old man he is)
actually likes caramel, never tells anyone for no reason (fucking punk ass smh)
he’d say he hates animals but he’d give a pat to a dog/cat if he’d see one (but he’ll glare at the poor thing if it scratches him-)
from ptsd from the apocalypse- he tries to never indulge w small things like getting large amounts of food- cos he has the mindset that he “might need extra in case something bad happens”
he’d hate physical touch at first- flinching like a surprised cat on steroids— but he gets used to it slowly- and one person at a time
also i dont give a shit on what anyone thinks- FIVE IS A LITTLE SPOON IN HUGS— why you may ask? fucker is a touch starved ptsd filled mf- he needs those hugs ASAP- he would hold your hand 25/8 to reduce his paranoia i just know it (i PROPHESIZEEEE)
the first beer he drunk was a bottle he found in a post apocalypse alcohol store and the liquid was full w small grime and dirt- but he wanted to try some to “check off a bucket list”
LOVES dark comedies, he just does, he CACKLES when he watches one (but he only shows amusement when he’s alone, never w his siblings)
^ he’d also slap his thigh if he finds something soooo funny (old man behaviour smh)
has a personal vendetta against ppl who WOULDN’T put pineapple on pizza (klaus converted the grandpa and at first he felt gross eating it but as he continues he thought: “ok. this isn’t that bad.” the next thing you know, you see him on the phone calling the pizza place for 2 more boxes of hawaiian pizza—)
listens to edith pliaf RELIGIOUSLY (you would gift him a vinyl of hers and his eyes would SHINE) (the only time you saw his eyes the brightest-)
with modern music— he’d prolly like radio music (until you berate him and convert him to alt & indie rock)
has an odd fixation with guns and knives (like the papa he is) (would explain EVERYTHING ABOUT A SPECIFIC WEAPON) (he’s a nerd) (he’ll never admit it) (ever)
has a switchblade on his dominant arm pocket (he could use anything as a weapon, but he likes to be “prepared”)
like on s1, he’d pretend to be a kid and all innocent & shit to get free shit from strangers (you’d hop on the bandwagon and **nicely** ask him to get you stuff too.. he complains and says no but you’d see him on the next day with the shit you requested on his hands)
^ continuation with this— fucker prolly got a coffee machine cos he went up to some lady- went on, put a sad act, and went “oh no.. i dont got a gift to give to my dad.. he always wanted a coffee machine after ours broke” and the lady would have pitied his ass and bought a cheap but durable one for him— this would lead to a situation where the rest of the umbrellas try to take away the coffee machine away from his addicted ass-
viktor: should we?? do something??? diego: we’ve took THREE of those damn machines- what else can we do??? klaus: it’s like… he pulls it out of his ass.. you think he shits out coffee beans?? or is it just liquidated coffee at this point? you: i should call the ambulance before he falls off the window from the coffee… can’t deal with a cranky five.. luther: (is tired of it all and just wants to enjoy his married life) .. yes. please do.
in conclusion? never take away five’s coffee- he will drive you mad—
whenever he’s drunk- he acts like a goddamn sloth (esp if he’s comfortable with you- mf will CLING ON YOU LIKE SOME PARASITE—) (i wouldn’t mind tho 😏- i mean what?)
though as much as he likes bitter coffee- i see him DESPISE BITTER BEER, he would spit that stuff out of with the most offended face ever (all scrunched up like crumpled paper)
for my fellow filipino readers- he unfortunately SUCKS ASSSS when speaking in tagalog… you either tease the living fuck out of him about him or smile through your ear pain going “wow! galing! (amazing!)” (no he was not amazing he sounded like a screeching tire or smth- /lh)
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kiwinatorwaffles · 3 years
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hi guys
now that ive been using tumblr more why dont i make a real intro?
hi im kiwi and welcome to my blog!
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i also go by fels/waffles and nathan/nate, but kiwi is generally preferred unless you already know someone named kiwi and need a way to distinguish.
as you’ve probably guessed, i’m aroace!
i use both she/her and he/him pronouns, but honestly use whatever’s funniest. like call me bro if you want. my gender is The Bit. (but i only use gendered terms/honorifics)
i am a multifandom... kinda? i mean i rb stuff relating to my interests
but my main fandom for now is hermitcraft + hermit-adjacent SMPs, and on the side there’s legend of zelda, ace attorney and cookie run ovenbreak. also i never shut up about the loathing games so if youve played any of them.... put your fingers in my enclosure i wont bite i prommy
feel free to use my art for icons, banners, edits, dubs etc as long as you credit me.
i’m also a mod for @thelinkconvention (although i can’t check notifs very often) and i’m totally not a mod for @evilxdoodles but you should check it out wink wink nudge nudge
a lot of my art ideas and fics are co-written by my best friend and partner in crime @skyspersonalhell :D
i try my best to write image descriptions for my art (which i put in the alt text) but i’m not always consistent :’] i appreciate any IDs people write for me!
VDHAU masterpost for those who want it!
check out my store on etsy!
please don’t tag my work as ships if i don’t tag/specify it myself 👍 i can’t stop you but i would prefer not to have my works misinterpreted. you can check under the cut for my more detailed stance on shipping!
please do not bring discourse to my page. don’t make me tap the sign.
open up the cut for my tags, page content warnings, boundaries/full shipping stance, and other socials!
my tags!
art- #kiwi’s scribbles random thoughts- #kiwi’s calls writing & headcanons- #orchard’s library asks- #birdhouse inquiries homemade memes- #kiwi’s shitpost central oc content- #kiwi’s ocs (individual stories are tagged with the "original story: __" and "fandom ocs: __" format but you can check out my toyhouse for more actual stuff)
a masterpost of silly misc tags on my page can also be found here!
IMPORTANT NOTICES FOR MY PAGE!
i might end up drawing possible triggering content! here are some things i draw:
blood, gore, and violence
dark and heavy material
general spooky content sometimes
gay people /j /j /j /j
my page also includes lots of swearing and all caps! if you dont like that then it probably isnt the best choice to follow me.
i filter any triggers with # ___ tw and keep in mind i do also use the #cursed tag for filtering those type of posts if you know what i’m saying just a heads up
BOUNDARIES—
here is my full stance on shipping! please read it if you are wondering about my boundaries! but the tl;dr of that post is that while i am not against shipping, please do not take it to my page if i don’t mention it myself 👍
there are certain ships i am really not comfortable with, so please don't take it personally if i block you for that reason
like i said earlier, please do not tag any of my works as a ship, unless i specify it myself! i mean you CAN i can’t stop you but i’ll probably end up blocking you for my own comfort. nothing personal
as mentioned before, do not bring discourse topics onto my page! any asks or comments about discourse will be not be dignified with a response and promptly deleted!
if the discourse pertains to something i posted, then please do inform me with a reason why i was wrong! however, if you phrase it like a callout or discourse, i will be treating it as such and deleting it!
if you want to learn more about me, here’s my carrd! it includes other socials as well as a (kind of loose) byi.
i don’t have a specific dni, but i do block people who make me uncomfortable. i also don’t interact with people if they’re weird.
IF YOU WANT TO SEE MORE ART
i'm kind of on a hiatus on instagram but if you still want to check it out -- @ kiwinatorwaffles for my main and @ kiwisnotgay for my doodles/alt. you can check out my original characters in more depth on my toyhouse, which is also @ kiwinatorwaffles!
THANKS FOR READING! FEEL FREE TO CHAT OR SEND ME QUESTIONS!
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oh-for-fic-sake · 4 years
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What will daddy Henry do if his little is sad because someone took something valuable from her?
So i wanst sure what to base this on entirely, so I'm going to go with something I went through over the last few weeks. I had a little bit of anon hate, which I deleted but the words stuck with me making me second guess everything i was working on and the confidence i had in my writing was taken away. so this is like a shameful self indulgent fantasy that im going to read to myself when ever im down.
Warnings: Pretty Personal For Me, Angsty, Fluffy, Self Doubt, Happy Ending, DDLG, Long!!
Tagging: @viking-raider @isitmine @tinabean37 @loserrlauraa  @msblkfire84 @henrythickcavill @plainbrunettelbl @dummiesshort @cynic-spirit @pandaxnienke  @two-unbeatable-beaters @libbymouse @wolfieash @eldarwen333 @princesssterek @mom2000aggie @blackestpinkworld 
(not sure who to tag in headcannons? these are the ones on my everything taglist)
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Henry watched quietly with a frown as you sat down in the living room, eyes cast down at the tablet in front of you shoulders slumped.
"poppet what's wrong love?"
"n-nothing da-addy" you said with a small stutter
Henry shifted on his feet looking at you critically before coming over to you.
"nothing? So your sitting here almost in tears over nothing" he stated sceptically rounding the sofa sitting next to you.
"I'm not cryin" you sniffled trying to bite your lower lip to stop it from wobbling.
"not yet, but close enough poppet, hand it over" he said holding out his hand waiting for the tablet.
You whined not wanting to hand it to him at first but after a mini battle of wills you placed the colourful tablet in his hand.
Your head was cast down and you rubbed your eyes trying to catch the tears before they were noticeable.
"okay then, so this is your new story?" he asked scrolling through the page not reading it all but scanning the words, it was well written like always.
At the beginning of the pandemic he suggested you started a blog, and you had. A writing blog all full of fanfictions of... Him.
He didn't mind he actually love you doing something constructive, it kept you happy and busy which helped him because there wasn't many free days even in lockdown. He was working out, reading scripts or rearranging covid tests and travel.
Plus knew these smut blogs existed, even lurked on a few.
"y-yeah" you mumbled leaning on him hugging his arm scanning the page as he scrolled, you knew he wasn't reading everything maybe every few lines
"sooo what's the problem?" he said not finding an issue with the writing.
"i... I cant post it" you muttered looking down avoiding his gaze
"why?" he asked frowning not liking the defeated tone you had.
"j-just because..."
"ah I see, you have lost your confidence" he said quickly figuring out the problem, the downside to writing was everything was personal preference so tiny comments could knock your confidence.
In a way it was like his work, you put your heart and soul into it and then people don't like it? It was always a bummer. But he was used to it, you were not.
You nodded to him it was true you'd lost your confidence, you hadn't wrote for a while.
You couldn't seem to find the words to fit together anymore.
You felt silly, they were just a few mean comments, words from a nasty troll who didn't have anything better to do but it hurt, you poured your heart into every chapter and then for people to rip it to shreds? It stung.
"y-yes I... They didn't like it" you hummed fiddling with your fingers, drawing deep breaths trying not to cry
"and so what?" he said shrugging making you snap your gaze to him.
"wha?"
"it doesn't matter love, so a few people didn't like it, lots of people do, I love your stories"
"you have to your my daddy"
Henry huffed and shook his head at you ruffling your hair pressing a kiss to your head amused that you thought that's the only reason he liked your writing.
"don't stop writing just because of a few mean people nugget, it takes a lot of skill to write and a lot of bravery to share it. Your a brave talented little baby and I'm very proud of you"
He said cooing as that seemed to be the final push sending you over the edge making you burst out into tears.
He hugged you moving the tablet out of the way before pulling you to his lap, unbuttoning his shirt half way and squished you into his bare chest knowing you needed to feel him, not a shirt.
"shh its okay babygirl, your stories are wonderful, and you have fun writing them don't you baby?"
You nodded crying harder trying to get the words out but you just couldn't instead whining incoherently into him.
"and you enjoy making the little banners? And collect all your photos and gifs?"
"y-yeah but they di-dn't like it last time!"
"they don't have to like everything you do sweety"
"but I don't wana upset them!"
"did you do the warnings?" he asked knowing all about the do's and don'ts of posting your erotica.
You nodded whining you always did warnings on stuff to be safe.
"and make the little cut thingy you were telling me about?" again you nodded at him
"so your telling me they read the warnings, clicked to see it and then were mean?" you sniffled biting your lip trying to calm down but nodded to him humming quietly.
"well then it sounds to me like they were going out of their way, looking for someone to pick on" he said slowly rocking you slightly.
You fell quiet resting your head on his chest as he rubbed your back and patted your bottom soothing you.
"but what if they wasn't? What if my stories are bad- and encourage bad stuff!" you cried tucking yourself into him tighter.
"no-no you repeat after me, fiction is fiction" he said pulling you back wiping your tears waiting for you to say it out loud.
"fic-tion is f-fiction" you repeated
"I did everything I could to warn people"
"I-I did everyth-ing I could to w-warn people" he smiled at you as you drew a huge breath calming yourself down.
"and they are jealous because I'm an adorable, smart, funny kind and caring babygirl who has the cutest little peach butt in the world~" he said smirking at you from above holding you tightly to him pressing a kiss to your head.
"and they- daddy! Noo! I can't say that~" you gasped flushing as you realised what he had said
"oh yes you can because its the truth now come here let daddy bite that peach~" he growled playfully snapping his jaws at you.
"ah-no!" you screeched giggleing as he began tickling you all over wrestling you playfully trying to lean over and bite your but through your shorts.
He landed two solid bite's on your bottom before pulling back. Even though he had cheered you up he could see you were still doubting yourself.
Henry cast a glance to the tablet and smirked forming a plan that might just get you back on track. He was not going to let anyone steal your sparkle.
"come on you you've spent enough time writing go play in the garden with Kal"
Once you left henry got to work swiping up the tablet and going on your one drive seeing the meticulously organized notebooks, recognising a few by name.
A few weeks later Henry came in to the living room with a medium size box and plopped it on the sofa next to you.
"here we go nugget!" he said placing the gift next to you, they couldn't have come quickly enough, he had noticed you hadn't been writing at all, which upset him because he knew how much you loved it.
"what's that daddy?" you asked peering over the box not expecting any gifts.
"why don't you open it and find out?" he said sitting the other side of the box handing you a pair of scissors to slice the tape.
You moved slowly cutting it open and pulled the box open then froze.
"d-daddy? What thats my..." you trailed off pulling out the hard back books your banner on the front cover.
"your stories? Yes poppet, I realised that you were putting so much work into these things but could loose them, they are soo good that daddy wanted to read them over and over and now we can!" he said pleased with himself as you sat there shocked looking at the small collection of a5 books.
"but their- i dont..." you said happy but completely shocked, flicking through the pages, there were even a few comments in the margins from henry pointing out the pits he liked making your heart swell with pride.
Henry moved to stand behind you pressing a kiss to your hair.
"They are brilliant! So good I'm so proud of every thing you have achieved and I want them on our book shelf, in the living room" he said making you tear up.
"Really? You... You think their that good?" you whined eyes blurring with tears as you hugged the first book to your chest.
"absolutely poppet now go on, you do the honours~" he said pressing your shoulder urging you to go to the cube bookshelf.
You tiptoed over to it and slowly pulled out each little custom book with your banner on the front.
You sat down placing each one delicately on the shelf the five books each lining up with one another half filling the empty cube shelf.
"oh no baby look? The shelf isn't full is it? You know what that means" he said standing looking
"I-I've gotta write?" you asked sniffling weeping softly but this time because you were happy.
"exactly! You need to fill the whole shelf, so you keep up the good work and tell daddy when you finish your next story and we can keep adding to it!" he said cheerfully walking over handing you the tablet.
You smiled to yourself and looked to the books, your books- actual real life books on a shelf!
You grinned throwing yourself at him latching onto him feeling your confidence come back just from seeing how much you had done.
Suddenly the hate didn't matter, your daddy like them enough to make them into real life books! And even annotated them himself?
And if your writing was good enough for your daddy then it was good enough for you.
"daddy, can I have my screen time now, I want to write!!" you said jumping up and down on the spot excited to start your next chapter.
Henry grinned nodding deciding you can have as much screen time today as you wanted as long as it meant you wasn't giving up your new hobby.
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purple-fireflies · 3 years
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Almost every single one of my thoughts of E1 S2 of HSM:TM:Ts
Cause I love this show and wanted to do this.
Ms. Jenn just doesn't know how to use a camera huh
Time to put something in the air on repeat again fun
*the following is something in the air commentary*
aw ashlyn and big red
nice dancing
jeez this is one take woah
awww seb
Gina made the dance number
They just jumped out of a locker is that not uncomfortable
but like they're cute so gj
*right after something in the air*
RICKY IS WEARING THE DOG TAG AWW
Mr. Mazzara character development nice
Are Ashlyn's parents never home how is she always able to host a party without them being there
But i love that her house is the unofficial cast hangout spot go you ashlyn
Ricky is so excited to do the musical with nini...girl you have to tell him
NINI JUST TELL HIM
Kourtney yes she better flourish during this season outside of nini's plotline
"age of kourtney" IM HERE FOR IT
ASHLYN AND GINA FRIENDSHIP OML Y E S
I really connect with Gina i mean I moved so much so I understand how she feels and the pressure to be the best PLEASE DONT PUT GINA THROUGH TOO MUCH
"I thought I was taking tenor" BAHAHAH
also S E B L O S
Ricky's mom couldn't have flown down to Utah for like 2 days to spend Christmas with her kid?
Give the poor guy a break hes moving houses too
Nini just tell him ur leaving rip off that band aid
aww she got him a skateboard
awww he misses his mom
Ricky no don't suppress your feelings
HE. WROTE. HER. A. SONG.
I love this song oml
wow they're all-in for a couple of high schoolers
oml ricky is so excited for that musical SOMEONE TELL HIM AND PUT ME OUT OF MY MISERY
Carlos is an icon --> " why are you hiding from a cute guy with no wedding ring?"
MS JENN HAS AN EX BF
THIS GUY BETTER NOT GET IN THE WAY OF MS JENN AND MR. MAZZARA OK
LOL she pretends she doesn't remember him comedic gold
BET ON IT OML AHAHAHAHA RICKY
the drums what was that for
Big red is genuinely worried for you ricky
AWWW BIG RED UR SO ADORABLE ASHLYN LIKES YOU TOO
no dont make him work hes gotta talk to ashlyn come on mrs. red
ricky the cologne didnt work for you dont give it to big red dude
wait carlos is rich? is that the seblos conflict? huh
Ashlyn and Gina friendship Y E S
Carlos rly wants to keep HSM 2 a secrert then
CARLOS YOUR ONE LINERS
seb ur ALLERGIC get the cashmere away from you
EJ SHAVE PLS
awww big red and ashlyn's texts so pure
Ricky dude you are SO excited for HSM 2...
NO GINA DONT BE SAD NOOOOO
I ship rini but dang the writers are making them sickly in love
We all know EJ wont get into duke right
But I love his character development
"My cows" AWWW SEB
Ricky guessed Gina that doesn't bode well for rini...
ashlyn youre a wueen trust meh big red likes you
non don't run away from her big red
MORE MUSIC YAY
YES I LOVE THIS COVER OF FABULOUS CAN WE GET A FULL VERSION PLS
Ashlyn and Gina's voices sound so good together
I love Rini's version of you are the music in me but like wow they're laying on the "they're dating and in love" and im not sure if Im sick of it or if I love it
I wanna be at that party
awww big red/ashlyn kiss
Finally the beauty and beast announcement
Poor ricky he doesn't get to play troy again i know people (aka me) would pay good money to see bet on it live
Not ms jenn living vicariously through her cast
Couldn't nini have found a better time to tell Ricky? She had like 13 days to do this? (honestly it seems kinda OOC is it just me)
Oh cliffhanger fun
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yeoldontknow · 3 years
Text
❧ check in tag
tagged by the sweetest angel @propinqxity to do this little tag. this is such a cute list of questions, and some of these i dont think ive been asked before. thank you so much for the tag and the tumblr crush mention lovely. you truly are a bright spot on this website and i mean that sincerely <333
going under a cut because im certain i will ramble ~
1. Why did you choose this url?
its sort of like a pun between yall dont know and the fact that, hopefully, sincerely, chanyeol does not in fact know that i run this blog lmao i changed to this after a long time of being bread-jinie and i wanted to rebrand. i will, however, do my best to never change URLs again because the masterlist switch over was a complete hassle
2. Any sideblogs? If you have them, name them and why you have them
i have a fic recs blog called @yeoldontknowiread. as to why i have it, i know it hasnt been updated in ages since ive been kind of on hiatus, but i think reading and sharing work on this platform is immensely important. i actually read quite a lot of fanfiction, and i try my best to share the things i read. im very very behind on recs at the moment cause i try my best to write something substantial for every recommendation i make. as a writer, i know exactly the kinds of thoughts and feedback on fics that make my heart soar so i try to put in the same energy to my recs. community is only fostered when there is reciprocation
3. How long have you been on Tumblr?
hmmm since april 2017. i actually had my 4 year anniversary this year and i did have plans for things but i got roped into real life things and couldnt celebrate the way i truly wanted to :(
4. Do you have a queue tag?
no but sometimes i think i should. i view tags as a library on top of my knee jerk response to things. most of my tags are just my initial thoughts or feelings at any given moment, so those take precedence over a specific queue tag
5. Why did you start your blog in the first place?
when i was getting into exo, i was reading fanfiction like crazy. i used to write fanfic quite a lot in other fandoms, but at that time i hadnt written anything in about 2.5 years. exo was the first re-introduction to that feeling of excitement and inspiration. after about 3 weeks of straight reading, i decided i wanted to write again. i wrote the prologue to hero in about two hours and tried logging into AO3 to post it. sadly i forgot all of my log in information because it had been years, and was getting frustrated. i really wanted to put it somewhere out of fear that id lose interest if i didnt do something with it, and everything id read had been on tumblr. so i made a tumblr just to put hero lmao i didnt have any mutuals. it was a blog with straight 0. i hadnt even created an account to interact with writers before that moment, i really thought id be a silent reader forever. but exo woke me back up and for that i am eternally grateful.
6. Why did you choose your icon?
the yours music video is...so stunning? like the colour theory throughout the whole thing is truly so inspiring and gorgeous. and this shot of chanyeol looking at the painting took my breath away, truly. tulips and the color of peach, like do you know how evocative that is? ugh
7. Why did you choose your header
my header was made by @jamaisjoons for my birthday this year because shes literally the most talented person when it comes to graphics. and this was so kind of her to do, i cried a lot
8. What's your post with the most notes?
uhm....either the body through time or truth i cant remember which but i checked recently and its one of those
9. How many mutuals do you have?
honestly at this point im not even sure. i know ive lost a bunch while i was on hiatus because i was basically a dead blog, and some people do dash cleanses. and im certain others have left, too, for their own reasons. still, i have a good core of friends though who are active and that is enough for me
10. How many followers do you have?
more than i probably deserve
11. How many people do you follow?
399
12. Have you ever made a shitpost?
uhm i guess? there was a time when nng was not updated and every wednesday id post the days go by music video in sadness and grief but im not a big shitposter. if i make a text post its usually a life update or me crying about chanyeol, theres no inbetween lmao
13. How often do you use Tumblr every day?
tbh i havent used tumblr that often, not since march i think. i used to use it many times a day, checking in on friends and stuff, but once i started focusing on my phd applications i was only here sporadically. i didnt make an announcement either, just let my blog run on queue so i wasnt totally gone. i think i was checking in twice a week or maybe once every two weeks to refill my queue and check mentions etc. but now that my interviews are done im trying to get back on here daily to reconnect
14. Did you have a fight/argument with another blog once? Who won?
ive had my share of disagreements with people and any details about those situations shall remain as they are meant to: private
15. How do you feel about "you need to reblog this" posts?
in what context? like, you need to reblog this or your wish wont come true? or like, please reblog this to spread the word/spread awareness, etc? in the case for the former, i scroll right by. in the case of the latter, if im around and see someone raising a go fund me or some major event is occurring and i find a post with good sources or charities i will reblog. mostly though, the full extent my activism isnt really on this blog. its my escape from reality. my activism is usually placed on other platforms.
16. Do you like tag games?
i doooo!!! theyre so fun i love learning about my friends
17. do you like ask games?
i love those too! theyre so cute and usually a nice way to have interaction immediacy with people in the community
18. Which of your mutuals do you think is Tumblr famous?
no one. can we please abandon this notion of fame on tumblr? arent we all here to write about some dick and some smut and some fluff and then hang out together and log off? lmao tumblr isnt reality and followers/fame is so arbitrary on this platform, no one has any control over any of it
19. Do you have a crush on a mutual?
i am in love with so many people here. let me name a few:
@yehet-me-up @kyungseokie @jenmyeons @j-pping @jamaisjoons @inkedtae @kookdiaries @yoonia @dulcetvk @kithtaehyung @imdifferentshadesofpurple @ditzymax @sugaurora @sahmbtsficrecs @junghelioseok @yeojaa @augustbutwinter @joonscore @btssavedmylifeblr @cutechim @sunshinekims @kimtaehyunq @ouvuo @delhyun @exo-stentialism @sooibian @softyoongiionly @jinseunie @zibermuda @bratkook @1kook @luffles424 @xjoonchildx
and so many other people and mutuals that i am certainly forgetting. love is such an expansive feeling, and it encompasses platonic ardor and creative desire. i admire every single person listed for so many different reasons, and cherish and treasure them or what they provide to the community. love is such an important and broad experience. truly, i hope they feel adored every single day x
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shhh-no-ones-home · 3 years
Text
liar, liar (1/2) bucky barnes x reader
+++++++++
part 1 part 2
(ft sam wilson)
backstory - she can see the future (or versions of it) through dreams and visions; she can see someone's past and memories by touching them; and she can stop peoples actions with her mind. sam introduced her to bucky without knowing about her powers and they started dating. (OC superhero name: Arcana)
song: bruised and bloodied by seether
ps this song slaps and so does the album and god i just really love seether. okay im done now lol
tag list: @cynic-spirit
+++++++++
when i woke up i sighed, feeling the bed next to me empty again. this was the third time this week that Bucky had woken up way before me and left before i even got to tell him good morning. it was starting to put a damper on my mood but i wasn't about to let him know that.
i shook my head, digging it deep into my pillow before sitting up and rubbing my face. when i opened my eyes back up they grew wider. Bucky was standing in the doorway with a half smile on his face and two mugs in his hands.
"hey."
he said quietly, not making a move yet.
"hey."
i said back, a little more chipper than i was expecting. i think the same went for him.
"coffee?"
i nodded, smiling back at him
"just the way you like it."
he said as he sat on the side of the bed in front of me.
"whats the special occasion?"
i asked before taking a sip, looking up at him over the top of the mug. he just shook his head.
"no special occasion."
i sent him a look as i lowered the mug.
"youre a terrible liar, you know that?"
he laughed a little bit.
"youd think id be better at it by now but i guess thats why they always kept my mouth shut."
i sent him a look.
"so?"
he huffed a breath deep out his nose.
"sam called."
i shook my head.
"no."
"come on y/n."
"buck you hate fighting-"
"and what would i do if he got hurt?!"
i sighed, closing my eyes and pinching the bridge of my nose.
"damn you for being so caring."
i said sternly and he cracked a half smile.
"damn you for sticking around."
he quipped back and i laughed.
"when does he need us?"
°°°°°°°°°
i looked over his face as he stared at the floor. his jaw tightened and i could tell he didn't want to do this. he had done enough already.
"hey,"
i said softly, touching his face and turning him to look at me. he looked sad. or maybe it was disappointment.
"you know you don't have to do this right?"
i asked and his face changed again. maybe it was regret. he tried to avoid my gaze again but i side stepped him.
"hey, look at me. you dont have to do this. youre getting better, you are a good man."
i reassured. he nodded slowly, glancing over my face.
"i should've listened to you this morning."
i snorted.
"ive been telling you for a while that you should listen to me more but some how we always end up here."
i joked and he sent me a look.
"you two ready?"
Sam asked as he came up behind us and Bucky nodded. i frowned but nodded too anyways.
"they're coming in on the southside, so be ready."
he said, looking between us. then there was a clattering above us, making the three of us look up. in came a few men, descending from the ceiling in full tactile gear.
"god damnit john."
i said annoyed, turning to see him coming through the door looking all high and mighty.
"i heard you could use some back up."
he said and i rolled my eyes. i could tell buck and sam were just as surprised and annoyed.
"why is it that we can never do anything without you showing up?"
i asked and a smug look crossed his face.
"we do this bigger and better than you. and you arent exactly discreet. metal arm, jet pack, spandex; kinda stands out in a crowd."
"dont forget i can see your future john."
i seethed and he laughed.
"right, Arcana, i almost forgot."
Bucky touched my hip lightly.
"easy. we've still got time."
i looked to him and bit my tongue.
"we dont need your help."
i assured but he just ignored me. then a loud bang sounded from the south side.
"shit."
i mumbled under my breath, taking off in that direction after sam and bucky.
"hey hey hey."
bucky said, pushing me behind him. i frowned and a vision hit me.
"get down!"
i yelled, grabbing him and sam to pull them back as another bomb went off. the three of us fell to the ground, looking up as johns team made their way outside.
"your killing your team john!"
i yelled as he passed us too. another loud sound went off but this time it was something different. i closed my eyes as bullets rang through the air. i could see all of it flashing through my mind. then i reached out and grabbed buckys arm. i had seen him run after them and get shot and there was no way i was letting that happen.
"y/n, theyre gonna die, we have to do something."
then i looked at him.
"you stay here."
i demanded, standing and walking outside. there were many soldiers on the ground already, the few that were left were pointing guns at the so-called attackers, john was holding a gun to the leader. i had seen this, neither of them was a winner. i closed my eyes again and breathed deeply, holding all of them still. a second thought and their guns were to the ground, fists at their sides. when i opened my eyes they were all looking around confused. then i heard a gunshot, looking around just as confused.
"y/n!"
i heard from behind me, buckys arms hitting my back as i slouched into him, watching john shoot the leader between the eyes.
"hey, listen, stay with me."
bucky bargained, sam running up and standing over him as helped me slowly to the ground.
"didnt see that one coming."
i groaned as he pressed his flesh hand into the hole in my side.
"youre gonna be okay, okay? just stay with me."
i nodded.
"im sorry. i thought i could help them."
i said a little breathy, tears visibly appearing behind his eyes as he picked me up. i hissed at the sudden movement.
"you did help them."
i held my side, trying to breathe deeply.
"get her out of here."
sam said. i could feel bucky beginning to run as i closed my eyes, feeling the rain hit my face as the thunder rolled.
"please dont leave me."
he whispered.
"im not going anywhere."
i managed, rolling my head against his chest. the next thing i knew i was being placed on a bed and there were doctors surrounding me.
°°°°°°°°°
when i woke up again there was a beeping running through my ears. i felt completely out of my mind as i blinked slowly. it was like visions were coming to me in fast moving pictures unlike anything ive ever experienced.
"bucky."
i whined, scared, as i rolled my head back and forth.
"im here."
he said through a sniffle, taking my hand in his. i squeezed my eyes shut tightly as i saw our first date play out behind my eyes. it made me smile, seeing him fumble through his words as sam laughed at him. i blinked again before looking over at him. he looked like he had been crying for a while and i couldnt help feeling guilty for making him feel that way.
"dont look at me like that."
he said.
"like what?"
i asked innocently as he wiped his face.
"like you pity me."
i squeezed his hand.
"i have never in my life pitied you James Buchanan Barnes, and i dont intend on starting any time soon."
i wheezed out, coughing at the end. he let out a shaky breath.
"then why does it feel like it."
he managed and i ran my thumb over his hand.
"im sorry."
i said and he looked at me confused.
"for what?"
i cleared my throat.
"for hurting you."
he shook his head quickly.
"this isnt your fault. you couldnt have known john was going to shoot you. if anything this is on him."
"ill be sure to bill him."
i said through a laugh before groaning and placing my hand over the wound. then there was  a knock at the door. it was sam.
"how are we doing in here?"
he asked lightly and i smiled at him, reaching out to him with the hand bucky wasnt holding.
"im all aces."
i said as he leaned down and hugged me as best as he could.
"im glad to see youre okay."
i nodded slowly.
"did you finish the mission?"
he hung his head low.
"the majority of the group got away. but we'll get em next time."
i sighed.
"dont do anything stupid without me."
i said with a wink and he laughed.
"its a little late for that id say."
he nodded towards me and i sent him a look.
"oh believe me, he shows up again ill give him something he wont forget."
"is that a promise?"
bucky piped up and i laughed, groaning after.
"you bet your ass it is."
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inyoursheets · 3 years
Text
writer’s tag
i got tagged by the wonderful @sdktrs12 to do this tag game so let’s go
most popular fic (most kudos)
my accidental hit aka warm water!! i still cant fathom the love that fic got. it was so much fun to work on that and dish out all the angst
best fic
oh wow ok this is hard to assess?? hmm. i think the instigator is one of my best? i think the prompt really helped make it nice and tight (cant take credit for that, im still very grateful to the prompter!!) and im still glad i tried to give every relationship in that fic something unique and appealing. im happy with that! some of the responses also confirmed that for me. many people were surprised to find they liked the fic/that the plot worked even though before they started reading they didnt know how in the hell this plot could work (to be fair, neither did i before i started writing lol)
but im also very partial to as trouble ought to do. i know it’s an acquired taste and it’s really not everybody’s thing but it was so nice to play with the style! i just took more leaps with that fic i guess. so to me it feels like the fic where i demonstrate the most growth as a writer, but idk
favorite fic
dont make me choose between my babies!! i like different things about different fics. i think the three fics i just mentioned are high up on my list tho
warm water will always be special to me bc i spend so much time on it, it accompanied me through the early pandemic, and i was so surprised and overwhelmed by the positive response. it was the first fic that made me think hey maybe i can write. i think ive grown a lot through writing that fic, too. when i compare the first few chapters to the last few i can see i was finding my writing.. style? voice? more and more by the end of the... i wanna say nine... months it took me to write that fic
the instigator was just so much FUN to write, honestly. that’s also why i really like it
and as trouble ought to do is special to me bc like i said, i got over my fears about writing (that it was too pretentious, too weird, too full of itself, too boring, too nonsensical) and started doing things differently from before in a way that i really enjoyed. it’s been a while since ive read it but i remember putting a lot of thought into how i phrased everything
least favorite
oh one of the early oneshots for sure. they’re kind of all the same to me? not my best work in terms of writing. or plot. i think maybe some time in your sheets is my least favorite. the only one that i dont hate as much is how do i even... say that? bc at least there i dived into a topic that i care about, namely (struggles with) communication during sex. tho if i wrote it today i would write it differently for sure
im tagging @mrslackles, @septiembrre, @sothischickshe and @blizabrth to also do this if you feel like it!!
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unsettledink · 3 years
Text
Gotcha Chapter 6!
(Trying something new and posting the full text here as well as AO3? It feels too long, but I’ve posted longer things here before, Idk.)
Read on AO3
Peter: sorry im on my way!
Peter: iswear im just running late
Peter: i will be there supr fast!!
Peter: sorry!
Quentin stares down at his phone and somehow, manages not to sigh. It’s a full ten minutes past when they were supposed to meet, and he doesn’t even want to be here in the first place.
Quentin: Don’t worry, it’s fine.
Peter: im sosorry
Peter: my alarm got set for tomorroow instead of today
Peter: i dont even know how
Peter: adn i just woke up and i dont even sleep this late like ever
Peter: but i willl bet there soon i promise
Peter: sorry!
Quentin: Really, it’s fine! There’s no hurry.
Quentin: We’re not exactly on a schedule or anything.
Peter: its so rude tho
Peter: for once it wast me losingt rack of time!!
Peter: im still sorry!
Quentin had given himself a little extra time this morning, just to remind himself of all the many, many reasons he is doing this, in this particular way. Had spent that time summoning up every bit of patience he could find to get through this day, because he had a feeling he was going to need it.
It feels like he’s already used half of it.
And of course he won’t be able to comment on Peter’s lateness, not even as a joke.
Peter: im like hafway there already illl just have to chagne and then ill be there!
Peter: seriously i am so sorry
Normally he’d be all for hearing Peter apologize, but it keeps happening every other word, Quentin will lose his mind.
He’s already losing his mind.
Well, he’s not going to just stand here until Peter does show up. He glances around for somewhere to sit; there’s a coffee shop just across the street. Perfect. He’s going to need that.
Quentin: Hey, don’t rush!
Quentin: I’ll just grab a coffee okay?
Quentin: I’ll be over at Kaldi’s, it’s just across the street. Can’t miss it.
Quentin: You want anything?
Peter: you dont haveto!
There’s no stopping the sigh this time. God.
Quentin: Not what I asked, kiddo.
Peter: um
Peter: suure?
Peter: someting with carmel i dont care mych
Peter: ill be there realy soon tho!!
Quentin: Then we can just sit for a bit.
Quentin: You’ll probably need it if you just woke up.
It’s a little funny how… drastically downgraded Peter’s texting is when he’s apparently still half asleep. Or maybe it’s just that he’s in a hurry. Or—
Quentin nearly stops in the middle of the sidewalk. He— surely, Peter isn’t—
Quentin: Are you texting AND webswinging?
Peter: …maybe?
No wonder he goes through phones so fast.
Quentin: You’re going to drop your phone
Peter: hey! imst icky! i wont drop it!
Quentin: Then you’re going to fall from being distracted
Quentin: And I won’t feel sorry for you.
Peter: :(
Quentin: I’ll laugh
Peter: :( :( :(
Quentin: You brought this on yourself.
He spends the time until Peter gets there reviewing Lynn’s newest plans for the miniaturized drones; they actually aren’t too bad.
Of course, they’ve probably had them sitting, waiting, for months, what with how they’ve harped on and on about how this should be a priority.
It won’t do to let them get too full of themselves, so along with the praise he sends back plenty of potential revisions. Even brings up some entirely new bits for them to consider; should keep them busy for a bit.
“Hi!” Peter says, flinging himself down across from Quentin. He’s flushed and still out of breath, his hair sticking up. “I’m here! I’m so sorry!”
Quentin allows himself a slightly amused smile. “Hi,” he says. Pushes Peter’s drink—some sort of ridiculously sweet caramel flavored thing that’s barely coffee at all—across the table to him. “Sit. Drink. Relax a bit, okay?”
“Yeah,” Peter says, running a hand through his hair and only making things worse. “Yeah, okay. I’m sorry, though. I’m just… it’s really embarrassing to be that late when this was my idea in the first place and—”
“Peter,” Quentin says, cutting him off. “Breathe! It’s fine, I promise.”
For once, Peter listens, and takes a deep breath, holding it in for a moment. Lets it out and relaxes the smallest bit, and grabs his drink. “Oh,” he says. “This is good! Thanks; you were right about me needing it.”
Quentin watches while he unwinds; Peter’s latest idea regarding ‘things they could do together’ was to show Quentin around Queens, so today they’re wandering. Quentin’s thrilled.
It could be worse. Peter had been all set up to take him to the most popular, well known, touristy spots, and Quentin had barely been able to hide his dread at the thought. It’d taken a little work, but he’d manage to convince Peter that Quentin would much rather see Peter’s favorite places. Even if they were nothing fancy or exciting, or little hole in the wall type places, or silly.
Even if they bored Quentin to tears.
Not that he can let Peter see even a hint of that. There’s a special kind of… vulnerability in sharing the smallest things you like, something different than exposing the larger, more damaged pieces of yourself. Something oddly hopeful about showing someone the unexplainable, intimate things you like and waiting for them to enjoy those things as well. Or at the very least, not reject them, in a way that suggests they’re rejecting your tastes as well.
Not rejecting you.
He’s started to prove to Peter he can handle the bigger things, the superhero stuff and the feelings nearly suffocating Peter; time to show that he can be trusted with the little things too. That Peter can come to Quentin with anything at all. Anything. Everything.
“So,” Quentin says. “What’s first?”
He was right; it is pretty boring. Not… awful, surprisingly, but not Quentin’s sort of thing at all. Peter’s apparently decided to try and cover as many miles as he can in one day, dragging Quentin from one end of Queens to the other. And then back; Quentin’s going to take tomorrow off for sure. Peter just has so much energy.
Has so much enthusiasm, Quentin thinks, as they poke through a small used record store that isn’t nearly as hipster as he expected from Astoria. So, so much enthusiasm, for the smallest things. It just bursts out of him once he gets comfortable and isn’t second guessing every single word he says.
Once Quentin has seemed interested in the first few things Peter shows him. Peter’s nervous about it, trying to explain away any shortcomings before Quentin’s even gotten in the door. He’s just desperate for approval, for acceptance. For Quentin to like him.
It’s not that hard to, actually.
It’s never been that Quentin dislikes Peter. Sure, Peter’s causing him grief and can be incredibly annoying, and sure, about half of what he feels for Peter is pity, but those can exist alongside the fact that Quentin kind of likes Peter.
Has liked him, ever since he started compiling research on him, ever since he’d met Peter as Mysterio and shook his hand and watched him get so excited over the existence of multiverse. It’s harder not to like Peter, not even a bit. He’s ridiculously smart, and stupidly good-natured, and—
He throws himself into everything he does; goes full out, with his heart on his sleeve. It’s no wonder he gets anxious as hell, if his first impulse is to practically flaunt all his soft spots, open and eager and expecting the best. It’s going to go poorly more often than not.
Must have, judging by the way Peter pulls himself in and hides, overrides that instinctual reaction so quickly it’s just a flash, a glimpse Quentin keeps catching again and again. He’s been taught to second guess himself somewhere along the way, by someone—probably a lot of someones—who saw those tender spots and couldn’t help poking them, taking advantage of them.
Just like Quentin’s doing; Peter should be better about spotting that sort of thing by now.
It’s almost a shame to fix Peter just to tear him apart completely, to have to use him like this, but… well. In the end, Peter’s nothing but another obstacle scattered in Quentin’s path. There are far more important things to worry about than the fate of one kid.
Peter grins at him when Quentin admits that this dinky little secondhand bookstore in Jamaica was worth a stop, even if it’s just for the most comfortable couch Quentin has ever sat on. Smiles when he points out a mural he loves on the way to the next attraction and admits he’d actually webbed up someone who started to tag it.
Straight up laughs at Quentin’s face when Peter shows him the most supremely creepy things in some huge thrift store, full of weird antiques and vintage crap. God, it’s disturbing that the things Quentin had as a kid, even as a teen, are considered vintage now.
“Jesus, Peter,” Quentin says after he has to look at a one hundred percent haunted taxidermied squirrel. “Why would you make me see that? I’m going to have nightmares.”
“For that exact face,” Peter says. “Oh my god, you look like you think it’s going to bite you!”
“It might,” and it’s unfair that Peter just laughs harder. He glares at Peter, but it might be slightly put on.
He’s allowed to like Peter a little, Quentin decides, watching Peter nearly double over with giggles. It’ll make having to deal with him easier, if nothing else, and it’s not as though liking someone has ever stopped him from using them—even disposing of them—in the past. It sure won’t this time.
They wander some more, Peter chattering on and easily filling the silence as long as Quentin remembers to make the appropriate listening noises occasionally. Every now and then, Peter hesitates, a nervous stumble in his words, something throwing him off, and Quentin reengages fully. He can’t afford to let Peter get too caught up in his thoughts.
But a few questions—carefully designed to make Quentin seem far more interested than he is—are enough to get Peter going again, bouncing from place to place until Quentin suggests they could use something to eat.
“Oh my god, yes,” Peter says. “I’m starving and didn’t even realize it. Ooo, last time we were down here, Ned and I found this awesome truck that does crazy good Korean barbeque, you’d love it.”
“No,” Quentin says without thinking, the sweet tart burnt smell so strong he can nearly taste it, can feel it stinging when he draws in a breath.
He twitches, shrugging it off, and tries to walk back how sharp that had come out. “Uh, I’m not big on sweet sauces and meat?” he says. “Got another recommendation?”
Peter drags him to a place that has the weirdest chimichanga combinations—and normal ones too, thankfully—and once again, attempts to pay.
“You know,” Quentin says as he pokes Peter out of the way, immensely irritated that Peter is still pushing him on this. “I didn’t realize your memory was this bad.”
“Hey!” Peter says. “It’s not! What are you talking about?” like that doesn’t prove Quentin’s point exactly.
“I seem to remember a bet I won,” he says, “relating to this exact situation.”
Peter opens his mouth to protest, and then closes it. “Um,” he says.
“Yeah,” Quentin says,raising his eyebrows.
“Okay,” Peter says, “okay, you can’t blame me for trying!”
“Hmmm,” Quentin says, passing over one of the foam trays. “You’re forgiven. This time. Just don��t do it again.” It’s always a good idea to get Peter into the habit of following Quentin’s rules, of remembering not to challenge Quentin too much.
Of remembering that Quentin will forgive him anything, easily.
“Fine,” Peter says through a mouthful, so mature.
They eat on the way to the next stop on Peter’s little tour; Quentin had been hoping they were approaching the end, but when Peter looks at him and asks, so hesitantly, if Quentin is tired and wants to call it a day—
Well he can’t say no.
Quentin finds himself dragged on to little half hidden shops, with any signage and down stairs that Quentin has to ask how Peter could have found in the first place. To statues Peter likes, to places he feeds pigeons—why he’d want to, Quentin doesn’t know—places with great views of the Hudson.
And, over and over, once Quentin catches on and starts pushing it, places to eat. Because Peter’s metabolism is a thing of wonder.
It’s interesting watching Peter banter back and forth with an older man about his sandwich; Quentin had gotten the impression Peter was uneasy around strangers, all his awkwardness amping up. But the way Peter’s interacted with people today is much more relaxed, much easier. Peter has a sharp sense of humor that Quentin has only started to see, as Peter gets comfortable around him.
Why do all these strangers get it right off the bat?
He watches Peter dart over to help get a stroller over a curb and— they’re not strangers. Not really. It’s not just that everywhere they’ve gone is somewhere Peter has been again and again, to the point where he knows people.
This is Peter’s home ground. His comfort zone, and the people in it— they’re his people. And when he’s helping them, his nerves disappear. His awkwardness becomes a tool of its own, disarming, downplaying the threat Peter could so easily be.
This is what he wants to be when he’s Spider-Man; the guy on the street, helping in a hundred tiny ways.
That’s fine with Quentin. Perfectly fine; now how does he get Peter to stay there, with EDITH looming over his head?
He can practically hear that in William’s voice, ugh. He’s working on it.
They wind up in Kissena late in the afternoon, almost early evening, really. Peter steps off the path once they get into one of the more wooded areas, and there’s a grassy spot past a few bushes, with a truly massive tree near the center, smaller ones scattered around it. It’s well hidden.
“Alright,” Quentin says, as he has with every other place, “what's the story behind this? How’d you find it?”
“So, when I got bit, when everything changed?” Peter settles down at the base of the tree, cross legged. “One of the things that was like, a huge pain, was how all of my senses got crazy amplified. Everything was turned up to eleven, you know?”
Quentin sits across from Peter, stretching his legs out as he leans back. Ugh, grass; he’d better not end up with bug bites. “Okay,” he says. “Sounds like that was pretty overwhelming.”
Peter groans. “You have no idea! It was really hard for a while, because even once I started to get used to everything being too loud and too bright and too smelly and— things tasted weird and my clothes made me feel like my skin was crawling and it was—” He stops, tipping his head back against the tree and looking upward.
“It was a lot,” he says. “Eventually I sorta started being able to deal with all that sort of… feeling stuff? I mean, physical, sensory, not like feeling feelings.”
Coherent; Quentin does not roll eyes through sheer force of will.
“But I was still really struggling with the, um,” Peter frowns, tips his head back further until Quentin can’t really see his face. “The stuff in my head. Actually doing things, thinking about things or even focusing on one thing was all so hard. It was like…”
“It was like what?” Quentin asks, after a few moments have passed.
“Everything was a distraction,” Peter says, slowly. “That’s still not right, because normally, before, I’d get distracted thinking about something else I wanted to do, or I’d be daydreaming, or, um, just, good stuff? Stuff that I’d want to focus on, just not right that second.”
“This wasn’t like this.” Peter looks down and starts to fiddle with a bit of grass, pulling up blades one by one. “This was like so much noise inside my head, like every little detail about every single thing was right there, grabbing my attention. I’d be trying to do one thing and all that would be clamoring at me nonstop.”
He closes his eyes, scrunching his whole face up. “People talk about wanting super sense a lot,” he says, “but it sucked so much at first.”
“People generally don’t think through those kinds of wishes very much,” Quentin says. Honestly, for the most part people don’t think at all.
“I’m pretty much okay now,” Peter says. “I figured out how to filter things most of the time; when there’s a bunch of stuff at once I can get so caught up in trying to ignore it that I ignore everything, and then that’s it’s own problem.”
“I noticed,” Quentin says, dryly. “Makes you pretty jumpy.”
Peter huffs, almost a laugh. “Yeah,” he says, brushing the ripped up grass off his pants. “I’m still working on getting the kinds of focus right?”
Quentin leans further back on his hands, crossing his legs. “You said something about focusing on me that one time,” he says, and Peter goes faintly pink. “That the sort of thing you’re talking about?”
“Something like that,” Peter says. “If I have one thing I can focus on, almost completely, then I can make it into… uh, white noise, I guess? Or it makes everything else into white noise. If that makes any sense at all.”
Not one bit, but whatever. He can press that later. “Sure,” Quentin says, waving his hand. “I’m following.”
It’s actually something to consider— if Peter manages to function better in difficult situations by focusing on one specific thing, what happens when that thing is taken away? Is ripped away from him, in fact. Would there be a moment of disorientation they could take advantage of? Maybe they could set Peter up to focus on what they want; he’s already using Quentin as a focal point, apparently.
He’ll have to watch Peter, Quentin thinks. This fumbling little explanation leaves a lot to be desired, but he doesn’t have much faith Peter actually could explain it better even if he tried.
“That helps,” Peter’s saying, “but it’s still really exhausting after a while. Sometimes I want to just… stop. Just not feel it at all, not have to try not to feel it.”
He glances at Quentin, and Quentin nods. Peter looks oddly shy, so he’d better pay close attention to what he’s showing.
“I’ve found a couple of places like this, but this is probably my favorite,” Peter tells him. “I can come here and actually relax. If I stop trying to block things out, or stop focusing on one thing, it doesn’t matter.” He tips his head back again, looking up at the tree.
“It's quiet here, pretty much all the time,” Peter says; the light through the leaves is diffuse, dappled on his face. “Even the noises that I get are like, soft things. Leaves and wind and things walking on grass. People talking, yeah, but that’s more distant and almost like background noise. It’s still shadowy in here when it’s super bright out, and there aren’t any super gross strong smells either. Just dirt and water and uh, green stuff.”
He darts a glance down at Quentin without moving his head. “Don’t laugh at me!” he says, and it’s right on the edge of plaintive. “I don’t know what else to call it.”
“I’m not,” Quentin says. He understands; it’s not something a city kid would be around that often, would probably even notice without senses like Peter’s. “I wouldn’t. I know what you mean, Peter.”
“Okay,” Peter says. Looks back away from Quentin and then closes his eyes. “It’s nice. And when I have to go back to the real world, it’s not quite as hard to handle.”
Quentin watches him. Watches as he slowly, slowly unwinds. Peter doesn’t move, aside from his head tipping slightly to the side, and Quentin—
He’d thought, earlier, that it was interesting how much Peter loosened up around people he felt comfortable with, places he felt safe. He’d thought it was a large degree of relaxation—and it was—but it was nothing compared to this.
Nothing compared to the way the tension drains from him with each passing second, from every single bit of his body, until he looks calmer than Quentin has ever seen.
Happier.
If this is how he looks when truly relaxed, the level of stress Peter must carry with him every day, everywhere he goes—from the physical tension to the mental, the anxiety, the constant background level of effort that other people don’t have to think about—must be ridiculously high.
He doesn’t want to say anything, do anything, that would break the stillness that seems to have spread over the entire glade. Poor kid. He might be doing a great job at being a pain in Quentin’s ass, but he isn’t cut out for this superhero shit.
Everything Quentin sees just convinced him further that taking EDITH from Peter really is doing him a favor. He’d never intended for that to be true, but— it’s not a terrible byproduct.
Peter sighs eventually, a barely there breath of a thing, opening his eyes halfway. He looks dazed, almost half asleep.
At least, until he notices that Quentin is watching him, and then he flushes. Looks down, the moment dissipating. “Anyway,” Peter says. “It’s— it’s a nice place for me,” like he’s admitting something embarrassing.
“I can tell,” Quentin says, offering him a small smile. “You deal with a lot every day, don’t you.” He shifts against his tree, trying to get more comfortable without Peter noticing and getting all fussy about it.
“I guess,” Peter says.
He picks up a leaf, twirling it through his fingers absently. “It’s getting really frustrating,” he adds. “Because it’s been almost two years, right? So I should have a better handle on this! I shouldn’t still be getting tripped up by such little things. And—” he makes a face, shoulders starting to hunch again.
“So I have this… this sense? Uh, I call it a spidey sense— I know, it’s kind of stupid. It sort of warns me about things? Like someone poking me, or shouting that something bad is about to happen.”
“Mmm, you mentioned that once,” Quentin says. “Sort of like a limited precog?” Honestly, he’d dismissed it— not fully, it wouldn’t do to completely dismiss anything about Peter. But it hadn’t seemed like it did much for Peter in Europe.
And it hadn’t picked up anything about Quentin, so how good could it really be?
“Oh, huh,” Peter says. “I hadn’t really thought of it like that? Maybe, but it’s not very exact. Sometimes it’s super obvious, but others it takes me a while to figure out what’s wrong. And lately, especially, it’s been— it’s gone kinda nuts? I don’t feel like I can trust it anymore.”
“Like, like right now?” he adds. “Right now it’s just going off like something really big and bad is happening, but come on!” He throws his hands up, exaggerated. “We’re just sitting here talking! Nothing, literally nothing bad is happening. It’s freaking out for no reason.”
Fuck.
Maybe he really shouldn’t have dismissed it, Quentin thinks, trying to stay as relaxed as he was a moment ago. Maybe he really fucking shouldn’t have, because some part of Peter knows that Quentin’s not good news. Knows that Quentin is something dangerous, is a threat.
And apparently knows it very, very insistently. Oh, fuck, this is the last thing he needs. Why now? Why is Peter’s sense losing its shit now and not at any time in Europe? What has he done differently to set it off?
God, what if it had been going off then too? Could that be why Peter had backed off at the last second in the bar, EDITH almost in Quentin’s hand? Has Peter been feeling this the entire time?
It’s a good thing he doesn’t seem to be listening to it, but that could stop at any second. At any time, Peter could decide that maybe his stupid ‘spider sense’ isn’t wrong, and that would be— that would be bad. That would be so bad.
Quentin has got to figure out how to make sure Peter keeps dismissing what it’s telling him.
“It’s so annoying,” Peter’s saying. “I wish it would stop, would just shut up already. It’s like this constant thing lately, sort of fading in and out but almost always there, but not a single thing has happened!”
Oh, that’s really, really not great. Almost always? In and out? How long will it take before Peter starts to realize it’s linked to Quentin?
No. No, he can fix this. He can nip this in the bud, before Peter has even a hint of suspicion. Peter’s already trying to ignore it, already annoyed by it. Quentin can use that.
“Maybe it’s just confused?” Quentin brings one knee up and rests his elbow on it, letting his arm dangle oh so casually. “After all,” he adds, “I’m hardly a bad thing, am I?”
Peter smiles, all that irritation gone in a second. “No!” he says. “Of course not! You’re like, the least bad thing that’s happened in a while.”
Quentin grins back at him. Yeah, keep thinking that, kid. “Well that’s a relief!” he says. “How finely tuned is this thing anyway? Could something have… I don’t know, damaged it? Hmm, screwed up its baseline, maybe? How do you even recalibrate it?”
“I have no clue,” Peter says. “I mean, it’s not like I can’t really test it or fix it or whatever. It’s practically useless now.”
Perfect; he wants Peter distrusting this sense. Wants him not thinking about it at all, avoiding the topic entirely— ah.
If he can get Peter thinking his damaged sense has something to do with the fights he’s been in, these bigger battles, that would be ideal. Peter’s already trying hard not to think about those; tie this sense to them as well, and he’ll just have even more reason to avoid both
“Could something have overloaded it?” Quentin asks. “Just completely swamped it, and it hasn’t recovered yet? If it got used to there being danger nonstop, on all sides, maybe it can’t stand down.”
“…maybe?” Peter says. “But I don’t know what would have caused that, or even when. It doesn’t make a lot of sense.”
What.
Really, Quentin thinks, really? Peter can’t think of anything that would fit? Why wouldn’t he think of that? “Nothing?” he says, quietly.
Peter frowns. Takes a moment, and when he opens his mouth, Quentin is almost sure he’s made the connection; but Peter hesitates. Shrugs. “Not anything that’s like, major or a big deal or anything,” he says.
Does Peter— has he really managed to convince himself that all the fighting he’s done is nothing? Or at least, been trying to, because that hesitation says a lot.
He should have expected this, with the way Peter’s consistently downplayed himself so far. He really should have, but somehow it still annoys him. No wonder Peter isn’t willing to admit how scared and screwed up he is, if he thinks he’s completely overreacting to ‘no big deal’.
“Well,” Quentin says, and he’s watching Peter carefully. He doesn’t know quite how this will hit. “You were at war, on a battlefield. More than once, even. That can really mess you up in all kinds of ways.” Remember, Peter, he thinks. Remember that you were hurt, that there’s a good reason to be scared. To run.
“I— that—” Peter stares at him. “I wasn’t in a war,” he says. Dammit. Looks like downgrading it in his head is exactly what Peter’s been doing, and that is exactly the opposite of what Quentin wants.
“No? What would you call it?” Quentin asks, raising an eyebrow. He pushes himself more upright, uncrossing his legs. “It sounded a lot like war to me.”
Peter shakes his head, fingers crushing the leaf he’s been playing with. “It was just a fight,” he says, strained. “That’s all!”
A fight. Just a fight, like it was nothing more than a little spat, was nothing at all. Has someone been telling him this, reinforcing it? Fury, maybe, or even Tony before that?
He knows Fury wants Peter to think he can handle things, but has he also been trying to convince him that what he’s been through so far was small enough Peter should have been able to handle it? Should be able to handle the aftereffects? That he shouldn’t be upset about it, that he’s overreacting?
That’s not good; Quentin doesn’t need Peter doubting he can handle things. He needs Peter to be certain he can’t, and more, that it’s perfectly normal. Acceptable. Not something horribly selfish at all.
“Peter,” he says, “it wasn’t just a fight.”
“It was! It was just one— it wasn’t a war!”
“It wasn’t— Peter,” Quentin says, and sighs. “It was a lot more than that. You’ve been dragged from fight to fight to fight the past couple of years, without anyone helping you after; from what I hear, you really could have used some after that thing upstate.”
He huffs, too sharp to be a real laugh. “And that’s just what I know of,” he adds. “I’m not stupid enough to assume that’s everything.”
Peter sucks in a sharp breath, his hands fisted on his thighs. Blinks, and then looks at Quentin intently, his brow furrowed. “How do you even know about that? About— about other fights?”
“I spent some time talking with Fury,” Quentin says. “He wasn’t big on details, but I got enough that I can fill them in on my own. I’m willing to bet he doesn’t even know every fight you’ve been in, though I’m sure he’d like me to think so.”
He’d been talking with Janice, more like. God, she’d been such a find; seething about having had Tony himself be an ass to her, more than once, but willing to stay where she was to pass things on. She’d had access to so much confidential information, and every time SI and SHIELD decided to bury another thing, shift the blame and throw money at it until it all went away—for them, at least—she’d gotten a little more resentful.
It’s true that they might not have the finer details—it drives him nuts how sparse the info about whatever it was that crashed SI’s plane into the beach is—but he has enough to know that Peter’s been involved time and time again.
“Oh,” Peter says, looking down, losing some of his ire. “You probably didn’t hear much good, I bet. But— it doesn’t matter if it was more than one fight, cause they were all different. All like, spread out and about other stuff. It’s still not war.”
“What do you think war is, then?” Quentin asks, actually curious.
“I don’t, uh. War is… more?” Peter stumbles along, and he’s being incredibly stubborn about this. “More than that, than any of those. Worse. Way worse. You don’t— you weren’t there, you don’t know what it was really like. It wasn’t like that.”
“I think,” Quentin says dryly, “I have a pretty good idea of what war is.”
Peter looks absolutely horrified. “I didn’t mean it like that,” he says. “God, I didn’t mean— I’m sorry, I didn’t think— I just, just meant that you were in a war. In a real, horrible, endless one and this…” He shudders. “These were just fights. It’s not the same, it’s not anywhere near as bad.”
“I’m so sorry,” Peter says. Looks at Quentin and then drops his head into his hands, knees coming up as he curls in on himself. “Fuck, I’m so sorry Quentin, I didn’t mean…”
This is really not what he was going for. Shit, he shouldn’t have said it like that; Peter’s too sensitive for him to be even a little sharp.
Quentin sighs, very softly, though he’s sure Peter still catches it. Pushes himself up onto his feet and walks over to Peter, who doesn’t even look up. “I know you didn’t mean it like that,” Quentin says. “It’s okay, Peter.”
Peter just shakes his head a little; Quentin thinks of sighing again but—somehow—manages to restrain himself. He sits down next to Peter, his back against the tree.
“War doesn’t have to go for a long time to be real,” he says, not looking at Peter. “It doesn’t have to drag on and on for it to still be awful, for it to still affect you,” and Jesus, he’s had to hear shit along those lines so many times. Had to sit there and listen to people be told over and over that what happened to them is worth being fucked up over.
Even if it isn’t. There’s a lot of reasons he never opened his mouth at those meetings, and his disgust at everyone else was the biggest. What a waste of time.
Well. Maybe not. It did give him the material to work Peter over.
“It doesn’t have to be some huge, dramatic battle to qualify,” Quentin says. “It still counts. Pretending it doesn’t doesn’t get it out of your head.” Come on, he thinks, let it be bad, be a nightmare. Admit that there’s a good reason, a real reason, for you to be scared, and then you can back down without shame. Come on, Peter.
“It doesn’t feel like it should count,” Peter says, a bit muffled, head still in his hands. “It wasn’t— lots of people have dealt with so much worse. Something like this, it’s not— it’s not an excuse for, for…”
He doesn’t finish that thought, but Quentin doesn’t need him to. An excuse, hmm? He turns his head toward Peter, just a bit. “Why don’t you want to call it a war?”
Peter lifts his head, arms sliding down to cross across his chest. “Why does it matter to you what I call it?” he asks, and there’s a hint of sharpness in there. Maybe even anger. “Why do you even care if I admit— if I think it’s a war?”
Nice little slip there; isn’t that interesting. Peter does know it was more than a few little fights. He knows, he’s just trying as hard as he can to pretend otherwise. Trying to redirect, as usual, turning the question back on Quentin. Why does it matter, Peter wants to know, and there are so many answers Quentin could give.
It matters because you need to see yourself as badly damaged. Because you need to acknowledge that this is something huge and overwhelming and frightening. Because I need you to start accepting what I say as right, start accepting me as an authority. I need you to not question me.
So many reasons, and he can’t tell Peter any of them. Ugh.
He turns further toward Peter. “Because I think you’re doing yourself a disservice,” Quentin says, tightly, irritation rising up in him. “When you sit there and insist that it’s nothing more than a little fight, when you play it off like it’s nothing— you’re devaluing what you did, and that’s wrong.”
“Don’t act like what you went through, what you did, doesn’t count,” Quentin says, and Peter’s looking over at him, startled. “That it wasn’t brave as hell, and terrifying as hell too.”
Peter stares, his eyes very wide. “I— it’s not like I did more than anyone else there. Than, than anyone else would have.”
“It sounds like you did more than enough,” Quentin says. “And— it doesn’t matter, Peter. It still messes you up. War fucks everyone up. Maybe it didn’t go on long enough for it to really warp your thinking, your morals or empathy or capacity to even feel, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t damage you.”
Peter jerks, sitting up straighter. “I’m not damaged!”
For fuck’s sake.
Quentin has to dig deep for a bit more patience. “Sure you are. Hey, Peter— wait,” he says, watching as Peter shuts down all over again, hurt. “That’s not bad, kid. It’s not an insult. It’s just… you gotta admit that before you can get better.”
Or not, if Quentin gets his way; admitting it might lead to Peter actually getting over his fear and stepping up. But with Quentin around, guiding him along? Peter’s never going to take that admission as anything other than a personal failure.
As just another reason he can’t, and someone else should.
“I don’t know,” Peter mutters. “It doesn’t feel like it should count.”
Quentin watches him for a minute. Leans in, his shoulder bumping against Peter’s. “You’d agree that I’ve been in war, right?”
“Yeah, of course.”
“And that I’m able to judge what is and isn’t war. Right?”
Peter can be smart, sometimes. He sees where this is going. Sighs. “Yeah,” he says.
“Will you—” Quentin pauses, waits until Peter is looking at him. “Can you trust me here, and believe that I mean it when I say what you went through was war?”
Peter blinks, his eyes dropping. He’s silent, and Quentin can feel the muscles of his arm moving as Peter fiddles with something out of sight. “I’ll think about it,” Peter says, which is not quite the response Quentin was hoping for. Still, it’s not another denial. Baby steps.
“I’ll— maybe,” Peter says. “I guess you would know, even if you weren’t there.”
“You should listen to me,” Quentin agrees, leaning a little harder against Peter. “I do know!”
You should listen to me, and only me, he thinks. We’ll get you there, kid.
Peter huffs softly, pushing back against Quentin’s shoulder. “Maybe,” but he’s smiling faintly.
Quentin smiles back; he can accept a maybe, for now.
He’ll get a yes soon enough.
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mavspeed · 3 years
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got tagged by @hellfre and im sorta bored so 
20 questions, writer’s edition!
How many works do you have on AO3? 31... whoa
What’s your total AO3 word count? 527217 which is strange all my fics r so hideously long i thought i would have hit one mil by now
How many fandoms have you written for and what are they? X-Men, IT 2 but there’s only one fic for that lol, kingsman and netflix bodyguard, and one fic for WW 2017 which... depressingly remains the fic with the highest number of fics in my profile
What are your top 5 fics by kudos? 
the labour of our love (again, its depressing that this is still getting hits. please stop reading this. please)
and we can be pirates
east end lights (please stop reading this one too Please)
in the valley of kings
lover boy rules (DEFINITELY STOP READING THIS) 
Do you respond to comments, why or why not? for multichapter fics yes cos i love catching readers up on whats happening or whats about to come next but for oneshots not really, i love love love comments but sometime i never have the energy to reply lmfjgjgjk
What’s the fic you’ve written with the angstiest ending? oh god it is definitely tequila on a beach, this one was fucked Up and i was in a shitty place mental wise when i wrote it. i think i’ve written quite a few major character death fics already but none are as depressing and tragic as that one in particular, i really pulled all the stops out for that one lmfjgjkjgk
What’s the fic you’ve written with the happiest ending? my oneshots have pretty happy endings i think... both if we’re talking about happiest it Has to be my old man is a bad man. nothing happier than killing your abusive husband and getting your sexy detective boy on the side helping you to get away with it
Do you write crossovers? If so what is the craziest one you’ve written? was gonna say one but i’ve written TWO !! kingsman/bodyguard was a crossover ship i thought up way before rocketman released with two of my besties and while i dont write for it anymore i sure hope people Are still writing for it (also i take full credit for publishing the first story in the eggvid tag and getting the ball rolling. thank me.) and xmen/lucifer. my second part in the charlifer series is still in the works maybe ill be able to finish it at some point
Have you ever received hate on a fic? on ao3 no, but when i was a kid i used to write on ff.net and while i got a shitton of comments (im talking like in the Hundreds) more than 50% of them were not good. i think i deserved it cos my writing was shitty but also ff.net is a dark, dark place
Do you write smut? If so what kind? sometimes if it fits into the storyline of the fic i guess? i actually absolutely detest writing smut i wrote smut for the mummy au not bc i like writing it but bc i felt bad for putting charles through so much shit in that fic i was like he deserves to get good dick for once. and then i promptly ruined it in the next few chapters so
Have you ever had a fic stolen? YEA LMGFHFJ it was my apoc charles au where charles is one of the horsemen, there was a fic that was VERY similar, like IDENTICAL, and the similarities were just too much for it to be coincidental. i never did call them out on it tho bc their fic was good too. probably bc it was stolen FROM ME 
Have you ever had a fic translated? nope :(
Have you ever co-written a fic before? also no. i think i’d be annoying as someone to co-write with lol the one time i discussed an au with syd i ended up killing charles off halfway even if it was happy and he almost killed Me
What’s your all time favorite ship? cherik my beloveds
What’s a WIP that you want to finish but don’t think you ever will? its the castlevania au and not because i don’t have ideas for it but because every single time i start to think about how i’d continue it i always end up with killing charles off. its like no matter what i want, charles always dies in the end in that fic, but i dont Want him to die so uh. its never getting finished unless someone can give me an idea on how to make the gay boy live
What are your writing strengths? i honestly have no idea. making shit depressing i suppose
What are your writing weaknesses? coming up w a good plot is a massive weakness for me
What are your thoughts on writing dialogue in other languages in a fic? honestly it can get lost in translation and the few times i’ve ever used german in a fic i always get told in comments that thats not actually the way it works so. but hey if ur a native speaker then go for it
What was the first fandom you wrote for? harry potter.... it was a dark time
What’s your favorite fic you’ve written? i am so proud of my cherik man from uncle au not just bc i think the cherik dynamic i wrote is fantastic in there (humble i know) but also because i loved writing raven in it. i think its like the Only fic where i didn’t just focus on cherik and it actually led me to realise i love writing sapphics- also it gave me an opportunity to fix charles-raven in my own little way and turn them from siblings to best friends and partners in crime which was really fun. anyway i love that fic and i love my gay little spies
tagging: leaving this open but if u wanna do it, feel free to say u were tagged by me !!
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melforbes · 3 years
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ask meme. what if. patching up. no I still haven’t seen source material
the way i completely forgot about this ask until i wrote like two paragraphs in this and was like oh shit lmao
the source material is getting an hbo series bb you're in luck also ignore anna whatever as tess yes i respect her as an actress yes she is talented in a bunch of things i have not seen but ms annie wersching is the only tess in my heart and also if i have to endure tess being reduced to a powerbitch stereotype i will start foaming at the mouth. but also i have no feelings about this whatsoever <3
WHAT IF: i will pick an important choice or event in my current project and write three sentences (or more?) about if it’d gone done differently
hmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMMMm
this is hard because i kind of had a stupid amount of confidence in the decisions i had them make in this and because i have ~a lot of experience~ in flying by the seat of my pants with writing lmaooooo a lot of the time with this ive had some degree of foresight when it comes to certain plot decisions. the only reason i have this in the first place is that with other things ive had kind of sort of plot revelations and then been like "well if i'd set that up three chapters ago it would have a huge impact i think but instead i guess it's just going in this one for a smaller impact" so i think i learned my lesson haha. also because this pairing nowadays has a small and sparse tag i really intentionally put in stuff to make it interesting (maybe the wrong word) to reread. like not Interesting interesting but i wanted there to be certain details that are more relevant on a reread than on an initial read because whenever i read stuff in small tags i tend to read it Multiple Times lmaoooooo and it's like if anyone like me is out there I Will Feed You. I Will Give You Food. you see i have this problem in which im like i dont want to act like i put thought into this because That's Embarrassing and i also dont want to seem like i take this too seriously because That's Embarrassing and also i dont want to act uppity or pompous or something But At The Same Time i do put a lot of thought into certain things and i feel like mentioning that and i dont really want to judge myself for that. it's complicated but also super uncomplicated. where was i going with this
OH right. so most of the plot decisions were made super concretely. like pre breakup arc in the nightmares chapters (which came out so much worse than i intended alkdjksjad;glksjg) when tess and joel talk about ellie Knowing (also legit it is such a trip to me that you dont know the context of that. a trip in a good way) she says we every time and he only ever says i even when she points out that this would affect both of them, and at one point i think he says that tess doesnt understand baseless violence which is 100% untrue, and then there's a bunch of window imagery i put in starting there because im a freak. so like For Once In My Life a lot of this was as planned as it could be. on occasion there's been Plot Revelations that get wedged in (the radio interlude chapter, which was a bit of an inelegant seam between prewritten things that didnt mesh well) but for the most part ive got tits out into every decision. like tess and ellie disagreeing about joel's choice was very planned though i imagine that kind of conversation could be executed many different ways i had my one way and stuck to it. so either way
where was i going with this. did i have a point.
OKAY. let's see. i think one of the big ~emotional beats~ so to speak was the ambush chapter and i think that's the favorite because that's usually where people comment if i remember correctly and initially i wasnt going to go with that tone At All haha. years ago i wrote everyday domestic scenes of mulder and scully from x files and had it all on this blog and it was plotless but largely in the same overarching universe (i say as if it was legit ever That Deep) and after writing this as a oneshot and being like you know? Kind of feel like doing that again. i figured i would just follow the same largely plotless path of legit just domesticity and leave it at that. and i think the first like five chapters are tonally different from the rest because i'd never really intended for it to have plot or really any depth whatsoever. in the end like. How do i say this in a way that wont be interpreted as uppity or something asldkjgalsdgjk like. when i did those mulder scully scenes i was very much a beginner and i think i didnt realize just how inherent that beginner-ness was to the concept itself. which isnt a bad thing! like people had fun with those so far as i remember. bizarrely enough i think people might still read those which. cringe. but you kno!!! but with a few years of distance from that kind of concept i think it was hard for me to Not try something else. especially with this universe in which it's just dense with storytelling opportunity. and also i felt as if the first few chapters were just like super super lighthearted and i wanted some angst factor. which is why in the end the angst factor plot itself is flimsy as fuck. like i did not care WHY they got attacked i just wanted that sweet sweet hurt/comfort cup of tea u feel. and after that i didnt really go for the plot too much But i did edge toward it a lot more. like i mean ultimately this is a romance like it was not intended to be plot heavy ever But it's more plot heavy than it couldve been. had i actually written it as i'd intended from the start i think it wouldve gotten old really fast. like nothing but lighthearted domesticity doesnt make sense in this context. for the first few chapters it doesnt necessarily kill the whole thing imo because like. that's the first few chapters. but after then if there was never any ~deeper thoughts~ i think it wouldve gotten reductive super fast.
hmmm what else. Because i am deciding to talk too much on the internet now.
oh in theory the whole breakup arc couldve been omitted and now in retrospect im like it's hilarious that like the next chapter after they got married i immediately peppered in hints that they would break up lkajsdglaksjgdlkj like wow. That lasted a long time. but like i mean i think with them it fits that they would do something like get married before they even said that they loved each other. like i can see them doing a massive workaround instead of doing a small and simple but vulnerable thing. makes sense 2 me. and like they definitely couldve stuck together in the end but 1 theres interesting storytelling in how maybe joel was too stubborn or maybe they grew apart in certain ways or blah blah blah and 2 I JUST LOVE A GOOD BREAKUP AND THEN RETURNING TO EACH OTHER ARC OKAAAAAAAAAY. legit. favorite trope. if i ever experienced that in real life i would claw my eyes out but in fiction it makes me FERALLLL. and also like i mean i lov these two for their dumb quirks but also like it would be a lil wrong to say there wouldnt be consequences for like. Not communicating haha. also again like the world this game is put in is so full of storytelling opportunities and im like Must Take Them All. like joel is stubborn as hell and shuts down when he's overwhelmed and there is growth in the first game (and in the second too but thats not really shown as much and is more left for the player to fill in the gaps i think) but also i think it would be super easy to regress in that sense and i had fun with putting him in those situations. and it's also super fun to have an additional person for the joel and ellie plots to bounce off of. like joel and ellie are two very stubborn people and having an extra person there to be like You Blithering Idiots has been a good time. im getting sidetracked. like it was fun to answer the question of how these two in a marriage neither of them can fully substantiate would communicate in hard times and the answer i personally found was that they both would end up breaking things. which was fun to write!!!!!!!!! but in theory couldve been prevented. maybe i just cant imagine this a different way haha. like Joel And Tess Learn Healthy Communication Skills Over Time. am i mean for saying that doesnt sound probable aldskjgalskdjgslkgj
OH LMAO THE MARRIAGE PART. that was also a big decision i guess. i wouldnt make it go differently alksdjglasdjg like. i definitely couldve written the context around that many different ways bc again this whole is full of opportunity But a frankly premature wedding just feels right to me. especially with like going from being stuck on survival to being safe for the first time in decades. and then having that sense of safety get boring and wondering why there was that super fast wedding in the first place. cant really imagine it going differently
there is later unposted stuff that could def have gone many different ways and that i tried to make go different ways but that would not be right to talk about akldsjaslkgdjsg so.
this got too long sorry <3
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Text
On The Prowl... Pt.Five
A fantasy AU
!!!!NSFW!!!
All parts can be found under the Ontheprowl tag! Thank you for reading!
——————————————————————————————————————
A/N.Enjoy
Warnings: Non Con. Heavy touching. Mentions of death
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Shinso kept you stuck to him for what seemed like an hour and a half. You did not complain though. You were where you wanted to be. He spoke to you the whole time you were stuck to him to help you relax and come down from youre high.
“You are such a good incubator .”
“Letting me mark you , youre mine.”
“I knew you were diffent the moment i caught youre scent”
“Ive filled you up with my kittens isint that great?”
He smiled at the little squeak you made in response.
“I cant let the others try to breed you . It would complicate things for me. So no sneaking around okay little incubator?”
You agreed instantly. You did not want them anyway. You just wanted Shinso. He lifted you up and off of him and quickly cupped youre sex making sure nothing came out. You hugged his arm nuzzling youre face into it enjoying how fuzzy it was. Shinso moved his paw to not see anything on it , he purred admiring his work for a minute. He brought you to his arms getting up out of the water walking back to the den.
The others would not be too happy but thats okay. He marked you. So they could not touch you without dying. And as for... eh who cares. No one would dare try to take you from him. He looked down at you to see you snuggling into him and rubbing youre stomach , you had a dizzy grin on youre face. He purred deep making his chest vibrate and you giggled hugging him.
Shinso arrived at the den to see the three digging into some deer . They all instantly sniffed the air and their eyes shot right to you. The growls brought you out if youre happy fantasy and you looked over to see them staring you down. Shinso put you down by the group and went to grab a deer for himself . Bakugo got up stomping over to you , he kneeled down sniffing you and Shoto went over too , he sniffed you too and Chizome walked behind you seeing youre back. He barked and Bakugo turned you , he roared and Shoto growled in anger.
“You marked her didint you?!” Bakugo said getting up.
“He bred her too.” Shoto said pressing his paw on youre swollen heat , it made you whimper and shuffle around.
“What makes you so special Shinso?” Asked Chizome
Shinso came back with a deer over his shoulder . He sat down next to you digging into the deer not saying anything. He didint have too. If they wanted you they could fight him. And none of the men felt like dying.
Bakugo continued to sniff at you and you didint try to pull away. You laid there letting him smell you. He opened youre legs growling at youre swollen heat, and the claw marks in youre thighs . He turned to Shinso leaving you like that .
“Im next if she carries through.” He demanded.
“Fine.” Shinso said still eating.
“Why do you get to go next?” Chizome asked touching youre chest squeezing it in anger.
You purred at the feeling as you listened to them argue.
“Because im second in command thats why!!!” He yelled back
“Shinso is not even first in command though!” Chizome argued back
Shoto’s paw gripped youre other breast , his other paw moved youre thigh up rubbing youre heat. “Hes right though Bakugo.”
“Whatever i dont care.” He shoved Chizome away from you and pryed youre mouth open. You blinked sticking youre toungue out.
He dragged you closer dipping the head in youre mouth making you purr and wiggle. Shinso watched and so did everyone else. They all watched how you eagerlly took him in youre mouth. Licking him happily.
Shinso’s ear turned and he looked up standing up. Shoto sniffed the air standing up and so did Chizome. Bakugo growled leaning over you shoving more of himself down youre throat not paying attention.
“Bakugo get up.” Shinso said .
“Hah??! Why should i?!?”
Everyone got very quiet .. and a new scent filled youre nose.
“... ahh , now what do we have .. here . I leave for a couple days and this is what i come back to? Shinso playing Alpha and many many incubator deaths...~”
Bakugo looked like he had seen a ghost . He froze for a second and slowly stood up. You whined when he stood up but nobody responded to you. You sat on youre knees peaking by Chizome’s legs to see something walking over.
“I would think by now that you lot figured out that the ones here are no good but i guess i was wrong.”
Everyone backed away from you , even Shinso. You whined crawling to him but something caught youre ankle. You looked back to see some kind of ... binding .
“But this one smells different. Like a city. And .. she also smells like Shinso got to her first.”
You were dragged on youre stomach towards whatever was talking . You stopped suddenly and felt a heavy paw on youre back . It made you shake and shudder. You were flipped onto youre back to see a black jaguar with some kind of binding tape around his neck. His shoulders and face were jet black with white stripes. So were his arms and his lower half. He smiled down at you with tired eyes.
“Looks like Shinso had his fun with you already, marked you too so no one could touch you. But that does not apply to me . You see..~” he flipped you back over . “Im the Alpha.” He pushed into you putting his weight on you.
You screamed trying to claw away but he was too heavy . You cried for Shinso to help you but he was just watching. Bakugo had walked away bumping Shinso’s shoulder talking under his breath. “Now no one gets a turn . Great job” Chizome and Shoto followed the lion and Shinso watched in silence.
The jaguars thrusts were heavy and fast , youre front was being scratched up by the dirt and rocks and it hurt. Why wasint Shinso helping you? Who was this jaguar?!? Alpha! !? You did not want his kittens you wanted Shinso’s.
The Jaguar spoke with humor in his voice while he pumped into you hard. He stretched you farther than Shinso did and you whined with each pump.
“Watch closely mmf Shinso. Im sure you did a great job breeding this one but you took matters into youre own - nff. Hands. But this is how you breed a bitch”
“Yes .. Aizawa..”
You watched him with tears in youre eyes , he looked defeated in every way. He just wanted kittens. Thats all. You wanted to make him happy and give him them. Why was this happening? Why was this jaguar in charge?
“You were always the more..gentle of the group.” Aizawa said humping you . “Im sure you thought the mark would keep everyone from breeding her. But i guess you forgot when i was returning” he leaned down to lick youre tears away . “Mmf.. but you knew this one was different. I applaud that Shinso”
“Yes.. Aizawa..”
You whined clawing at the dirt , you were getting no where close to Shinso. It seemed like he was getting farther away. Aizawa roared pushing himself all the way inside you. His release washed over him and you felt it stretch you even more. You laid there limp, twitching. Youre swollen heat twitched begging for him to pull out of you and give you some relief. Aizawa laid over top of you humping into you a few more times making sure you are good and stuffed before relaxing on you.
“There we go.. thats better yes?” He pet youre head. “Shinso why dont you join youre pack and give me .. some alone time with this incubator”
“Yes.. Aizawa..” he looked at you one last time before turning away leaving.
You whined for him reaching out but he was gone. Aizawa laid down on you petting youre head slowly.
“You see.. he should not have done that with you. The original plan was to test the incubators here to see if they were compatable .” He pet more . “Once we found out what happend I decided to go off and search for propor incubators, i left Shinso in charge but i never gave him my title.” He nuzzled into the back of youre head. “I know you will carry to term. You smell just like the ones i found on my little time away. And if you end up having his kittens. I will kill them . And breed you till you are full of mine and only my kittens.”
He laughed up at the sky and all you could think about was how you got here. Where did you go wrong.
To be continued ..?
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shewritestheblues · 4 years
Text
The Elevator Bae x Chapter 4
Chapter FOUR
Erik x Black OC (Phoenix)
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Reruns of Martin plays in the tv as Phoenix whips up her pancake batter. She has turkey bacon and hash browns done on the stove. A knock on the door turns into a beat brin made on the door.
Ava!
Phoenix swings the door open to find Ava and Mica holding up orange juice and liquor.
“What’s brunch without liquor?” Mica says walking in. She immediately looks through the cabinets for a pitcher and begins missing up mimosas. Ava sits on a stool at the kitchen counter while Phoenix starts making the pancakes.
“Let’s just get straight to it, what’s up with Erik?” Ava asks.
Mica pours their drinks. “Who is Erik?”
“A nigga that she want.”
Mica eyes Phoenix for her to explain. She tries to focus on the task at hand of flipping her pancakes.
“Ma’am, get to talking.”
“He lives here. I met him on the elevator. We’ve run into each other from time to time.”
Ava slams her hand on the counter. “Mica, she’s fucking with us. Coby said they be having moments on the elevator, flirting and shit. But come to find out, he’s messing with Sydney--”
“BIG BOOTY SYDNEY?”
“He’s not messing with her.”
Ava’s head snaps over to her. “How you know?”
Phoenix bites her lip as she makes their plates. “He told me.”
“When he say this?”
“Wait, wait,” Mica intervens, “How y’all know he was allegedly messing with Syd?”
Ava has a mouth full of bacon at this point just spilling the little beans that she has. “We seen her in the garage and she was all asking Philly about if she seen the nigga because he left her place like a theif in the night and never called her back.”
“Damn! This nigga a savage and you like him?” Mica turns to Phoenix with concern.
“That is not what she said, Mica. But, he told me last night, this morning, whatever… that she’s cool but he ain’t feeling her in that way.”
“Let me guess, on the elevator?” Ava sticks her tongue out teasing Phoenix. Phoenix gives her the middle finger. Mica swats her hand, “Focus. What exactly did he say?”
“Well… he mentioned having his eye on someone else,” Mica and Ava share a look as Phoenix continued. “And I told him he should tell Sydney he doesn’t like her.”
“...that’s it?” Mica says stuffing hash browns in her mouth.
“No, he-- well, I told him he looks tired and get some rest when I was getting off the elevator. Then he says, “Goodnight baby girl.” and winks at me all flirty and shit.”
“Oh girl, niggas love throwing in a baby girl,” Mica says refilling her glass. “I wouldn’t think nothing of that.”
Phoenix looks to Ava for her input.
“Honestly Philly, I don’t know. Because yeah, niggas just be talking but at the same time, we dont know who this man is. For all we know, you could be making all this shit up.”
“Why would I make this up?”
“No, no I’m not saying you are at all. My point is, only you can judge the vibe between y’all because we don’t know who he is.”
“What he look like?” Mica says with a mouth full of pancakes.
“He’s tall, brown, nice teeth, dreads.”
“Oh, so he’s a daddy. Yeah, you can’t trust those.”
Ava almost spit out her drink from laughing.
-------
The gold chain with a ring hanging from it that sits around Erik’s neck, swings back and forth as he does his last few push ups. He sits up on his floor, rolling his neck and stretching it. His phone lights up on the coffee table in front of him.
Text: Sydney
He swipes to close it without reading it. He gets up and goes into the bathroom, turning on the shower. He steps out of his sweaty clothes and steps in. The warmth of the water stings the new small scar on his abdomen. Biting his lip until the slight pain fades away. Allowing the water to run over his body, he closes his eyes releasing a long sigh.
After washing his body and face, he puts on fresh clothes and relaxes on his huge sectional couch. It’s been a long week for Erik and a day of just chilling is exactly what he needed and wanted. He searched through Netflix with nothing really catching his eye. So he picked up his phone, opening Sydney’s text. It was the 4th text she had sent him since he left her place a few nights ago.
Sydney: E, What’s up?
Sydney: So you’re not going to text me back?
Sydney: Are you okay?
Sydney: so you’re just gonna go ghost. Most niggas wait until after they hit. At this point, I dont even care.
His thumb hovered over the keyboard. Phoenix’s words singing in his ear, I think you should tell her. Communication is key.
She was right, just letting her know he’s not into to her like that is the right thing to do. But, he definitely took the part about communication being about him being more open about liking her instead. He finally types a response.
Erik: Hey. my bad, i’ve been busy. working.
Sydney: you have some free time now? You just left and i wanted to see you.
Erik: Im free but i dont really wanna chill. I like you Syd, but as a friend.
Sydney: wow. Ok
With that out the way, Erik opened his Instagram app, scrolling up his timeline. He comes across a picture that his friend, Shawn posted. Shawn went out to the opening of Club X the night before. He was one of the promoters. As Erik swipes through Shawn’s pics, he notices one that he’s in with four women. One of them being Phoenix. The caption says ‘ClubX now open. Come get lit with the dopest DJ in the city.’ Erik taps the photo to reveal the tags. @DJPhoenixBlue , @AmazingAva , @Micaxoxo , @CamrenMarie. Did he just find Phoenix’s IG page? Without a second thought, he clicks her page and yes… yes he did find elevator bae’s page. He carefully looked and admired every picture. He found himself looking at a pic from June 2016 when Phoenix was back in Detroit, walking through downtown with one of her old friends. That’s when he knew he was doing the most. He scrolled back to the top of her page, reading her bio. He clicks the soundcloud link that’s attached and takes a listen. He nods his head to the R&B beat. It was definitely a vibe. He let her playlist play. He laid his head back onto the couch, closing his eyes. He was on the 5th beat before he sat up to sounds of his stomach rumbling.
“Shit.” He goes into the kitchen, Phoenix’s music still playing. There wasn’t much left in his refrigerator with him being gone for days. He turns the music off to focus on searching through his various food apps to order something. He found himself back on Phoenix’s Instagram page. He leans back on his kitchen counter, completing forgetting about food. He debates with himself if he should follow her. He stood there with his thumb hanging over the follow button. “Fuck it.” he thinks. He taps follow. He came this far, he might as well like a few pics.
He orders from a cafe he likes that’s not too far from his home. It’ll be there in 20 minutes. He finds his way back into the living room, on the couch. He settles with rewatching Naruto. Only made sense because it was his favorite.
---------
Mica helps Phoenix load up the dirty dishes into her dishwasher as Ava rolls them a blunt. Phoenix gave more than enough detail about every encounter she has had with Erik since meeting him. She even told them about the dream she had about him. Mica doesn’t seem to like the idea of Erik while Ava tried to convince Phoenix to shoot her shot with him. Phoenix figured it wouldn’t hurt to ‘think about it.’
After finishing their breakfast and cleaning up, the women are sitting out on Phoenix’s balcony, smoking and trying to make plans for Camren. Her birthday was the weekend coming up and Camren made it clear that she wanted to do Hoodrat things with her friends. That was her only request. They already have a surprise girls trip that they planned months ago, but the three of them would make her ratchet dreams come true.
“Let’s do a surprise dinner and take her ass to the club,” Phoenix says, passing the blunt to Mica. “I can get us a section.”
“Yeahhhh, get some big ass pictures of her face and bottles.” Ava added.
“That would make her so happy.” Mica says between coughs and laughs.
They finalize their plans for the weekend. They are taking Camren out to eat, the club and will surprise her with their planned vacation when she wakes up the next morning with a hangover, contemplating life. Ava and Mica say their goodbyes to Phoenix and leave out to wait for the elevator. When the doors open, they come face to face with Erik. He’s alone in the cabin. He recognizes them immediately as the girls in the pictures with Phoenix and Shawn. He moves over to the left of the cabin. Mica stands center and Ava to the right. Silence sits over the three of them. Erik could feel that one of them is staring fire into the side of his face. When he turns to them, Mica is giving him the worst death stare he’s experienced in his life. They stare at each other.
“Is your name Erik?”
“Yeah. Do I know you?
Ava’s head snaps quickly in his direction. She hadn’t even thought about who the man was in the cabin with them. Mica remembered every detail Phoenix gave about what Erik looked like. He’s tall, brown, nice teeth, dreads.
“Nah, you don’t know me,” Mica says, turning to fully face him. “But what you do need to know is when it comes to Philly, I’ll kick yo’ ass, you pretty muthafucker.”
Erik is confused and caught off guard. Who in the hell is this woman. Is Philly, Phoenix? He really didn’t know how to respond to this threat. Ava pinches the bridge of her nose. She can’t take Mica, NOWHERE!
“Who the fuck is Philly?”
“Oh my God,” Ava intervenes, “You have to excuse her. She’s high as fuck.” Ava grabs Mica’s arm and pulled her to the right side of the cabin, away from Erik. “We’re friends of Phoenix, nice to meet you.”
Erik eyes Mica who seems uninterested in him. “Nice to meet y’all too… I think.”
The elevator doors open and Ava steps out, dragging Mica with her. Watching the two of them made Erik laugh. As he made his way to his car, it hit him what Mica and Ava said. She talked to her friends about him? What in the hell did she say for her friends to be so protective? Either way, he couldn’t stop the redness from forming on his cheeks.
Once Ava and Mica were in Ava’s car, without skipping a beat, Mica facetimes Phoenix. “Sis. We just seen your pretty ass man on the elevator.”
“What?”
“What?” Mica says in a mocking tone. “You love playing stupid. Ya’ boy Erik. I had to let him know he better be on some real shit when it comes to you.”
“MICA!” Phoenix covers her face with her free hand.
“You’re welcome. And he is fine though. I see why you pressed but I still don’t trust his ass.”
-------
The next morning, Phoenix started her day with some morning yoga. She had a few errands to run before a studio session later that night. She needed to go to the bank, do a little grocery shopping and reup on some hair products. She had used the last of her Miss Jessie’s curl cream the night of the club opening. Her hair has been in that same bun since. Putting on some dark denim shorts and a red one shoulder crop top, paired with some red vans, she headed out.
Luckily, when Phoenix arrived at the bank, her favorite banker, Ms. Kim was there. Whenever she’d have to go to the bank, she loved going to her to handle her money. Ms. Kim was an older, black woman that gave her all of the cool, auntie vibes. Ms. Kim was the one who helped Phoenix set up a seperate account for her business account and tax account. She honestly made everything easier.
“Good Afternoon, Miss Phoenix,” Ms. Kim stands, greeting Phoenix has she approached her desk.
“Hi, Ms. Kim.”
Ms. Kim motions for Phoenix to take a seat.
“How have you been little lady? Busy I take it since it’s been a few weeks since I’ve seen you in here.”
Phoenix smiles, “Yeah, I’ve been working like crazy.”
“That’s good. At least you’re busy doing something you love though, right?
“Yes. I wouldn’t trade it for anything, honestly.”
“I’m glad. Now what can I help you with today?”
Phoenix digs into her purse, pulling out two checks. “I want to deposit these and send a little something to my Mom. She’s been bugging me about a purse.” She shakes her head. Ms. Kim laughs and takes the checks and does her magic. She knows just how Phoenix wanted to break up the checks into each of her accounts, which is why Phoenix loved her so much. She never had to ask too many questions. She just knew what to do.
------
Phoenix made her way to the farmers market, getting as much food as she could fit into her basket. She always did this, knowing the struggles of carrying all of the tote bags up to her apartment. But without fail, she did this to herself, every time. Loading her groceries into her car, she heads home. She didn’t have much on her mind but she wasn’t fully there as she pulls into the parking garage of her apartment. She parks her car and starts grabbing her bags from her trunk when one falls and she smashes her carton of eggs. She pouts, pissed off with herself about dropping the bag.
“You have to be kidding me!” She stands there, holding her face trying not to be too upset about it.
“You need some help?” Phoenix turns to find Erik walking in her direction, his keys in hand. She was a bit frozen when she saw him. He was wearing a fitted white shirt with grey joggers and his dreads were braided back. She just stood there, staring at him until his laugh shook her from her trance. He loved how his presence would stall her.
“Umm, no. I’m okay. I don’t wanna hold you up.” She picks up the bag that fell and tries to grab more bags from the trunk. Erik didn’t say anything, he just reached for the bags in her hands, taking them from her.
“Erik…” she tries to protest.
“Girl, grab the rest of the bags and c’mon. I’m not in a rush.”
She was lowkey shocked but did what he said. She grabbed the rest of the bags and closed her trunk, locking her doors. He stood, holding the majority of her groceries so she hit the call button.
“You really didn’t have to--”
“I wanted to. If I’m right here, you don’t need to be carrying all of this up alone.”
“Thank You.” she says in a low tone.
The elevator doors open and they step inside headed up to Floor 7. Phoenix tried to avoid looking at Erik. One, he was looking damn good right now and two, she never knew how she’d react to him.
“You look beautiful today. I like the whole messy bun flow you got going on.” he finally says.
“OH SHIT! I'm sorry, Thank you. You just reminded me that I forgot to pick up some stuff for my hair.”
“What do you use on your hair?”
“Um this Miss Jessie’s curl cream and this Shea Moisture leave in. I completely forgot and I’m all out of both.”
The elevator doors open and Erik follows her to her door. Taking note of the ‘702’ on her door. She pushes the heavy door open and holds it open for him. He follows her into the kitchen, placing the many bags on the counter. Phoenix struggles to get her hand out of the handle of one of the bags, not realizing she’s still holding her keys. Her phone starts ringing in her back pocket. She’s panicking trying to get her hand free and getting her phone. Watching her struggle was a good time for Erik. He walked up to her, taking her keys from her hand and taking the bag from her wrist. His hands were rough and warm and it caught her off guard… as usual.
“Thanks.” She answers her phone just in time. It’s another engineer that she was suppose to have the studio session with. He called to tell her that the artist they were supposed to work with, cancelled so it wasn't a point in going tonight. She was disappointed. She hated when people would cancel last minute being that the studio was her happy place.
The disappointment she felt was all over her face as she hung up the phone.
“Everything okay?” Erik asked. For a moment, she forgot that he was there.
“Yeah, the artist I was suppose to have a studio session with cancelled on me.”
“Oh yeah, you’re a DJ.”
She never told him that. How would he know that? “Yeah… I’m just gonna go by myself though. I have some stuff that I need to get done.”
Erik sways back and forth, debating on if he should ask. Phoenix starts putting away her groceries. She assumed Erik would just leave at that point but he continued to stand there with his hands in his pocket. She stops what she’s doing and eyes him suspiciously.
“This is weird, but would you mind if I tagged along with you? To the studio.”
She was NOT expecting that. Suddenly Ava’s words rang in her ear. Shoot your shot. The thought of that made her nervous but she stopped the nerves in their tracks. What’s the worst that could happen? He wouldn’t ask if he wasn’t interested, right?
“Uh, yeah sure… wait, weren’t you going somewhere before you helped me with my bags?”
Erik leans over onto her counter, rubbing his hands together. “Yeah, but it wasn’t important. Just chilling with some homies.”
“So you’re just gonna bail on your friends to hang out with me? You don’t even know me.”
“You don’t really know me but I’m all up in ya’ kitchen right now.”
He had a point. She just shook her head and finishes putting away her groceries. He watched her every move. It’s still pretty early so Phoenix still has time to go out and get her hair products before heading to the studio.
“Well everything’s put away. I’m gonna go get my hair stuff. You can just meet me in the garage around 8. Is that cool?”
Eriks stands up straight, “Yeah.”
She smiles and grabs her purse, walking to the door. Erik follows. He waits for her by the elevators as she locks her door. When the elevators opens for them, Mya steps off.
“Hey Phoenix.”
“Hey, Mya.” she waves at her. Mya looks at Erik and then back to Phoenix, mouthing to her, “YAS SIS!” Phoenix laughs. Erik is going up to his place to wait for her so she says bye to him and watches him step in and the doors close. She patiently waits for the cabin to come back down to take her down to the parking garage. Making it to the beauty supply, she buys way more than she needed. Getting some new Mane Choice shampoo, a long, curly ponytail (because you never know when you’ll need one), the curl creams she came for and some hair accessories. She could never control herself in the beauty supply store. It was like a candy store for black girls.
She made her way back home and couldn’t resist washing her hair to try her new products and honestly, she couldn’t wait to retire that messy bun.
------
Erik waits in the parking garage for Phoenix. Checking his phone, it’s now 8:12pm. He’s not usually a patient man but he would wait for as long as he needed for her. Finally a ding from the elevators alerts him that someone is getting off. Phoenix steps out with fresh curls that are still partially wet. She had changed into some black joggers and a Snoop Dogg T-Shirt with her backpack hanging on one arm.
“I’m sorry. I really had to wash my hair.”
He smiles at her. “It’s not a problem, baby girl.”
There’s that name again. She stares at him. “Uh, yeah. You ready?”
“Lead the way.”
He follows her to her car. He steps around her, opening her door for her. She smiles a thank you and he walks around, getting into the passenger seat. She holds up the Aux cord.
“This is my only offer. Speak now or forever hold your peace.”
“You’re the DJ. Let me hear what you like to listen to.”
Phoenix proceeds to plug in her phone and put her playlist on shuffle. Megan thee Stallion x Cash Shit comes on blasting through the speakers as Phoenix pulls out onto the road. She raps along.
Yeah, I’m in my bag // but I’m in his too.
That’s why every time you see me // I got some new shows. AH!
Erik enjoys the show of Phoenix rapping along to every song that comes on. He even joins in when Dreamville x Got Me comes on.
I got you long as you got me // And I got you long as you got me
----
Walking into the studio building, Phoenix greets the security guy at the front desk. This is her favorite studio to work in so she knows everyone who works out of the building by name.
“Hey, Larry.”
“Hello, Miss Blue.”
She loves that he calls her that. Erik nods at Larry and Larry does the same. They continue to an elevator that takes them to the third floor. Walking into the huge studio, Phoenix flicks on the lights and begins setting up her laptop, pulling out her writing notebook. Erik looks around. Blue and green lights, light up the booth that sits in front of them.
“You want something to drink? There’s all types of stuff in the fridge.” Phoenix asks, sitting in a big, comfy chair.
“Nah, I’m good for now.” Erik sits next to her. He sits and just watches as she finishes setting up everything. She has a few samples that she made in her files so she starts with those first. A very smooth R&B Style beat with drums begins to play through the speakers. Phoenix digs in her backpack and pulls out a bag of weed.
“You smoke?” she asks, taking out a back wood.
“Yeah.”
“When I come here alone, this is how I set the mood.”
He watches her carefully as she breaks the weed down so effortlessly. She bobs her head to the beat, filling the back wood with the weed. He could tell, this was her zone. She seemed so relaxed here. Even he couldn’t shake her up right now.
“So, Erik,” She adds emphasis to his name. “Tell me something.”
“What you wanna know?” he watches as she begins to perfectly lick the blunt closed. He’s mesmerized.
“What do you do?”
“In the Navy… engineer.”
She looks at him as she lights the blunt and takes a drag. She slowly releases the smoke. “You from here?”
“Yeah. Grew up in Oakland. You?”
“Nah… I’m from Detroit.”
“Damn, that’s what’s up. When did you come out here?”
She hands him the blunt. “Last year. My career started taking off. I was flying out here like every other week so I just moved out here.”
“You like it?”
“I love it.”
They passed the blunt back and forth until it was gone. The same beat still playing in the background. Phoenix was feeling her high and the beat. Melodies started coming to her as she sung a series of Ahhhs and Heyyys until they formed into lyrics and she wrote them down in her notebook.
“Damn girl, you can sing?”
“I can hold a note or two.”
“Have you ever wrote and recorded any songs for yourself?”
“I have a few.”
“Can I hear one?”
She’s hesitant at first but she goes through her files and finds a song she wrote when she broke up with her ex. As the song played, Erik paid close attention to every word, every note. He felt like he could hear her pain in her voice. She noticed the focused expression on his face. Like he was trying to figure out the exact story that inspired the song.
“Wrote this last year when I came out here. My ex… he uh, he cheated and had a baby.”
The song ends and she goes back to the beats she was listening to before.
“You’ve been single since?” he asks.
“Yeah. Just been working. If I’m gonna give a nigga my time, he has to understand my work. He can’t get in the way of that, ya’ know?”
“I get it.”
“How long have you been single?”
Erik sits back in his chair, rubbing his beard. “I’ve actually never really been in a relationship.”
“Seriously?”
“Yeah. Life just didn’t seem to allow me to do all of that.”
“Why?”
Erik was never one to open up to people. Maybe it was the weed or maybe it was the vibe, but he felt safe with Phoenix in this moment. “I had to take care of myself growing up. Parents died young so I didn’t have time for distractions. Got into college early. Went to MIT,” Phoenix eyes grew big at that. “Went straight into the navy after that.”
“Do you think things have changed for you now? Like… maybe you would be able to try out a relationship or something?”
“Well, where I am now, if that’s what I wanted to do, I’ll figure it out. But it’s like you said, it has to be somebody that understands my work.”
She nods and turns to work on the beat that’s playing. After making a few adjustments, she figured out just what it was missing. She looked to Erik and noticed he was vibing out to the new, improved beat.
“You like it?”
“Hell yeah. I fuck with this.”
That made her happy. She loved when other people were vocal about her work.
“Can I ask you something, Erik?”
“Wassup?”
“So… what really happened with you and Sydney?”
He looks at her. He couldn’t read her like he usually could. “Nothing. We hung out. Chilled at her place. Got so high, we both passed out and I left. She wanted to do more but like I told you, I wasn’t feeling it.”
She played with her fingers. He rolled his chair closer to her and lifted her chin so she’s looking at him. “You don’t have to worry about her.”
“What?” She moved back. “I’m not worried about her. I was just-- nothing, never mind.”
He didn’t push her to continue. She opted to ask him more generic questions.
“Anyways… um, what’s your favorite color?”
If this is how she wanted this to go, he’d play along. “My favorite color is black. Yours?”
“Blue.” she smiled.
By the end of the session, Phoenix had finished two beats. She even showed Erik how to work a few buttons so he could help her record a few hooks and a verse. By the end of the session, they knew a lot more about each other. Erik’s last name is Stevens and he was 31. He loved french toast and watching anime. Phoenix was 27 with a birthday coming in just a few months. Erik may or may not be plotting to get her something. She loved animals and told him about her most embarrassing moment in high school when she was performing for pep rally and tripped on her own two feet in front of the whole school. They had a good time with each other. It was almost 2am when they left.
As they waited for the elevator, Erik stood dangerously close to Phoenix. She could feel like body heat and she wanted so bad to wrap her arms around him for him to warm her up.
“I had a good time with you tonight, Philly.”
“I had a good time with you too, Stevens.” She poked his chest.
The elevator arrives and they step on, Floor 7 and Penthouse floor as their destinations. The ride up was a comfortable, tired silence. As Phoenix got off on her floor, Erik reached for her hand, stopping her right between the open doors. He rubbed the back of her hand with his thumbs. He licked his lips and she watched with her mouth parted slightly. He knew just what he was doing. “Goodnight, baby girl.”
If this nigga dont stop this!
“Goodnight, E.”
He was surprised at the nickname. Sure, most people called him E, but coming from her, at this moment, felt different. Like equivalent to his ‘baby girl.’ He felt a rush move through his chest as she slowly slid her hand from his, stroking his fingers and smiled at him. She stood on the other side of the doors until the doors shut. This time, it was Erik with jelly legs. He caught himself by leaning back on the back wall of the cabin as it traveled up. He has never felt like this with no woman… ever!
When he made it into his place, he stripped out of his clothes and took a hot shower. Thinking of the way her hand felt in his made his dick twitch under the warm water. He stroked it a few times before choosing to just wash up and go to bed. He really didn’t understand this feeling and didn’t want to process it right now. He just wanted to have this moment. Whatever it was. As he made himself comfortable in his cool sheets, he picked up his phone, opening Instagram. Phoenix’s story the first one highlighted at the top of his screen. He clicked it and 4 minutes ago, she posted a photo of the city’s view from her bedroom with the caption ‘Nights like This❤️ ’
There it is… that feeling in his chest again. He locks his phone and drifts off to sleep with Phoenix as the last thought on his mind.
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savethepinecones · 3 years
Text
i was tagged by @redacted-cryptid
favorite color: dark green
currently reading: patient zero by jonathan maberry. one of my buddies recommended it and im a solid 10 pages in so i dont have much to say about it yet
last movie: clue. it was sillier than I expected but i dont think thats a bad thing
last series: not sure if this is like full series or if a single episode counts so we're gonna do both! watched an episode of midsommer murders with my parents last night since its one of my mom's favorite shows. and the last series I binged was fruits basket about a week ago. pretty sure theres only one episode left and im guessing its out by now but i havent had a chance to watch it yet. i read the manga in like middle school or smth and i gotta say I'm really happy with the new anime. theres a lot of nuance that went right over my head as a 13 year old so I'm really glad the anime reboot is happening now so i have a chance to properly appreciate everything
sweet, spicy, or savory: savory
craving: winco brand cheese its. yes this is very specific. but listen,, the name brand ones have more salt and thats not necessarily a bad thing but it makes it hard to binge eat them. i eat a handful or two and thats it. the winco ones are a little more mild and i could eat half a box in one sitting if i wanted to and i tend to snack in large amounts so these are much more appealing. no i dont know why ive put so much thought into this lmao
tea or coffee: coffee with a probably excessive amount of sugar because tbh im not a huge fan of either but when youre working 12 hour days you gotta stay awake somehow yaknow?
currently working on: so many things oh boy. ive got a blanket im crocheting for my mom's birthday that's a landscape of some mountains and is definitely more complicated than i initially thought it was gonna be. im making some beanies for a couple friends as well because i have a truly excessive amount of yarn at this point and need to get rid of it somehow so,,,,, hats. im also in the process of decorating my room since i moved recently but i havent exactly been feeling motivated so thats mostly just planning stages lol
tag people to get to know better: @thegoliathbeetle @sarahhaley101 @literatemermaid @lazylittledragon and uhh whoever else wants to do this i guess? i can never decide who to tag in these things lol
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