#i dont like when ppl can just walk up 2 me and know my name. deadname or not thats just weird 2 me

[doodlboy]

Thing I hate abt working in retail: people knowing my name

Some random lady I've never seen before looked me dead in the eye and went "hi [deadname]" with the familiarity of knowing me for years. Like- I don't know who you are??? Why are you talking to me like that??

[morgana-larkin]

Haii okay here’s my angst request! I love a good regretful jealous Mel hehehe. I was thinking you’re both teachers and she likes u but is like “I’m too cool for pining” so she does the extreme opposite and is kinda standoff-ish or blunt w u at school. When you’re alone she’s a little better but still not super lovey dovey. You “take the hint” and move on, and someone new comes into ur life (can you PLEASE for the LOVE OF GOD name this rando new person joy??). And then one day Mel’s like “let’s be official” And you’re like what? Why? I thought u didn’t like me also I have Joy now. And then Mel’s like wtf and she gets rlly jealous when she sees u w her now and then she tries to sabotage y’all’s blooming relationship. In the end maybe no happy ending pls?? If ur comfortable writing that :)

Hehe I LOVE a good heartbreak. Also I’m obsessed w joy Huerta (hence my username) and have been asking everyone to use it in fics AND PPL DONT ALFJKS. lmao anyways. I hope this is sumn ur comfortable writing!

OMG! you’re really testing me here! If I’m honest, it was hard to write. I rewrote it a few times, it hurt a little, might make a part 2. Honestly if even one person requests a part 2 with a happy ending then I will write one. As always, not edited in the slightest, I hope you like it!

On another note: keep sending prompts for one shots! I decided to write one shots about Chessy from parent trap played by our favourite redhead, Lisa Ann Walter, so you can send prompts for her too!

Green Isn’t Your Colour

Warnings: (where do I start lol) Jealous Mel, upset Mel, a bit of toxic Mel, angst and no comfort, no happy ending , good luck lol

Words: 3.2k

You walk in through the entrance of Abbott Elementary. You’ve been here for a year already and you’re finally feeling like you’re settling in. You’re a third grade teacher, you helped Melissa out as she wouldn’t have another split class again and that made her happy from the day you got there and hearing the news.

You walk into the break room, hot chocolate in hand, you don’t like coffee that much, but nothing could beat a good hot chocolate. You go and sit on an empty table, taking some tests out and start marking them. Melissa looks over at you from her table. She looks at the way you’re flawlessly marking, glasses on and concentrating on what you’re doing.

You glance up as you feel like you’re being watched and see Melissa looking at you, but then she quickly looks away when you notice and you smile. You liked her since you first set eyes on her and it only grew from there. But lately it seems like she’s off and you’re unsure why. She was nice to you when you started but now it’s like she’s the opposite and you don’t know why. You asked everyone else if they could answer why she’s different but no one noticed the change.

You got up and picked up the tests and decided to just carry them to your classroom. You passed by Melissa on the way out. “See you later Melissa.” You told her with a smile. She just nodded her head at you and went back to her phone. You looked at Barb and she just shrugged, not noticing a difference.

During your second period prep you finished marking the tests with a breath of relief. Just then Melissa knocks on your door and you look at her and smile. “Hey Melissa.” You tell her and she just has a neutral face and you drop your smile.

“I found the book you were asking for. The little eagles liked it last year and I’m sure they’ll like it again.” She said and handed you the book.

“Oh perfect, thank you.” You told her and smiled at the book. Melissa looked at you and couldn’t help the small smile forming at your excitement of the book. And you looked up at her to see the small smile on her face. “Hey Melissa, can I ask you something?” You asked and she looked at you confused.

“You can but it doesn’t mean I’ll answer.” Melissa said.

“Um ok. Well I was just wondering why you’re acting differently around me?” You ask and she looks at you with a neutral face again.

“I don’t know what you mean?”

“Well you were nice to me last year but now you’re acting distant and I don’t know why.” You asked her. “Did I do something wrong?” You added and that took her by surprise. She doesn’t want you to think you did anything wrong because you didn’t. Melissa has a crush on you and she doesn’t want to show it or let anyone know, and her acting nicely to you last year definitely raised suspicions, so she went back to how she acts with everyone else.

“You didn’t do anything kid. This is just how I am with people.” She said.

“You’re not like that with Barb.” You said.

“Barb is my best friend, so of course I’m nice to her.”

“What about Janine? Jacob? Gregory? Or when Ava at times? You’re nice to them.” You told her, getting a little frustrated.

“That’s because they’re my friends.” She said and you were taken back by that and it definitely stung. Melissa looks at your expression and knew she shouldn’t have said that. She does think of you as a friend but it just slipped out.

“Oh ok, well glad to know where we stand then, just co workers. Thank you for the book Ms. Schemmenti, I’ll return it tomorrow.” You tell her and go back to your desk. “If that was all then if you don’t mind, I have a lesson plan to do.” You told her and she nodded her head.

“See ya around kid.” She said and left. She knew she fucked up there. She’ll have to start being a bit nicer to you to get back in your good graces.

Back in your classroom you took a big breath. You thought you and Melissa were friends but I guess you were wrong. No wonder she’s always short and blunt with you.

The next day you were at the coffee shop, receiving your hot chocolate like always, turning around to leave and bumped into someone, spilling your hot chocolate all over them and a bit on yourself.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I just wanted to talk to you and didn’t expect you to turn around.” The person said.

“Oh well I feel like I should be apologising, my hot chocolate mostly went on you. Wait, you wanted to talk to me? Why?”

“Because I see you in here everyday and I think you’re pretty.” She said with a blush and you blushed at her compliment.

“Oh uh th-thank you.” You stuttered a bit, not used to compliments.

“Can I buy you another hot chocolate? As an apology?” She said and you looked at her.

“Oh you don’t have too.”

“I want to though. Please, I insist.” She said and you smiled at her. She bought you another hot chocolate and handed it to you with a smile. “And there we go.” She said.

“Thank you.” You told her and saw the time. “Oh I gotta get to work.” You told her.

“Oh that’s alright I understand. I’ll see you again tomorrow?” She asked.

“Ya, I come here, same time every day.” You said with a smile and began to leave but turned around to her. “I never got your name btw.”

“It’s Joy.” She told you.

“I’m y/n.” You tell her and she smiles.

“You have a lovely name, it suits you.” She tells you. You blush and leave the coffee shop. You get to the school and immediately go to your classroom instead of the break room. You put your stuff done and see the book that Melissa gave you yesterday sitting on your desk. You might as well return it now, you got a few minutes before the students get here. You picked up the book and walked to the classroom next to yours and knocked on the open door. Melissa was stapling something and looked up at you and gave you a little smile.

Your heart fluttered a little at the smile and you remembered what she said yesterday. “Hi Ms Schemmenti, I came to return the book.” You told her, and held the book up.

She looked at you and remembered what happened yesterday and sighed. “Thanks y/n” she said and got up and walked over to you to take the book. “Did the little eagles like it?” She asked.

“Ya they did.” You said confused at her using your actual name

“I knew they would. You can borrow it whenever you want.” She told you and you offered her a small smile and nodded your head.

“Thanks Ms Schemmenti, I’ll keep that in mind.” You told her and left. She stared at you as you walked back to your own classroom and did a huge sigh and leaned back against her door.

A month goes by and you run into Joy everyday at the coffee shop. She took it upon herself to order you a hot chocolate and have it ready by the time you get there. You kept offering her the money for it but she always refuses, saying your company was payment enough. You exchanged numbers after a couple days and started texting for hours on end. By the second week she asked you out on a date and you said yes. By the third week she asked you to be her girlfriend to which you agreed excitedly.

At school, you noticed that Melissa has been a bit friendlier with you. You took her sudden change with caution though, you don’t want to get hurt again.

For Melissa, she wants to ask you out but she keeps getting scared. But after a month of being friendly with you, she decides to bite the bullet and just do it. She went to go see you at your classroom after the students left on Monday.

“Hey y/n, can I ask you something?” She asked you as she stepped in your classroom.

“Sure Melissa, what’s up?” You said and she smiled. You’ve been calling her by her first name again for about a week, and after you calling her Ms Schemmenti for 3 weeks, well she still smiles when you call her Melissa now.

“I wanted to ask you on a date.” She says and you look at her and freeze.

“What?” You ask, confused as hell.

“I wanted to officially ask you on a date.” She says and you look at her confused.

“Why?”

“What do you mean why?”

“I thought you didn’t like me.” You tell her and she looks a bit guilty.

“I never not liked you, when I realised I liked you near the end of the last year, I didn’t want to give away my feelings so I started acting distant towards you.” She says and looks down for a second then back up at you. “So will you go on a date with me?” She asks again.

“No.” You told her and she looked upset. “I did like you but I have a girlfriend.”

“Girlfriend? I thought you were single.” She says confused and still hurt.

“I was, until 2 weeks ago, her name is Joy.” You said with a smile. And Melissa looks at you with a bit of fire in her eyes. “If she’s real then I would like to meet her.” She tells you, crossing her arms,

“Oh ok, ya sure. I can ask if she can come meet everyone tomorrow morning if you want.” You tell her.

“Ok, I look forward to meeting her then.” Melissa says and leaves disappointed.

You asked Joy if she wanted to meet your coworkers tomorrow morning and she excitedly agreed immediately.

So the next morning, you meet Joy at the coffee shop as usual and she hands you your hot chocolate then you drive over to the school and walk in with her. You head to the break room with her and enter and all eyes look up at you and her.

“Everyone, I would like you to meet Joy, my girlfriend. Joy, this is Janine, Jacob, Gregory, Barb, Ava.” You said, pointing to everyone as you said their name. “And this is Melissa, the one who asked to meet you.”

“Hi everyone! And hi Melissa, I’m very much real as you can see.” Joy says and Melissa doesn’t look happy, she crosses her arms and the fire in her eyes come back. She thought you were lying and would have to keep being nicer to you before you agree to go on a date with her. Barb notices Melissa getting angry and puts a hand on her arm and that startles her and then just sits there, staring at you. She sees you being all happy as Jacob and Janine got up to come say hi to your girlfriend.

She wanted to be that person, be your girlfriend and she blew it. But then remembered that you said yesterday that you did have feelings for her, so maybe you still do. Then she smiles at that thought and thinks of different ways to play it. Joy would have to go of course, she ain’t gonna put a hit on her but instead she’ll try to sabotage it, and to do that, she’ll have to be nice first and get information.

So she gets up and goes over to you two. “Hi, nice to meet you. Ya I didn’t think you were real when y/n here as been single since I’ve known her.” She says to your girlfriend then proceeds to put an arm around your back as she mentions you being single and your eyes widen a bit.

“Oh that’s alright, it was a shock to y/n too when I asked her.” Joy says, and Melissa thinks it’s a shame she’ll have to sabotage it as she seems nice. But this person is getting in the way of her happiness so she gots to go.

“If you don’t mind me asking, how did you two meet?” Melissa asks.

“Oh we met at the coffee shop down the street, the one you told me about and I get a hot chocolate there every morning. And then I bumped into Joy about a month ago, like physically bumped into her and spilled my drink all over her.” You say with a chuckle.

“Ya she did but it was my fault, I saw her there every morning and after a couple weeks I decided to go talk to her and didn’t expect her to turn around at that very moment. So I offered to get her a replacement one and then we started talking.” Joy said with a smile.

And you noticed how Melissa’s hand got a bit lower on your back and you subtly get out of her grip and say an excuse. “Joy, do you want to go see my classroom?” You ask her and she immediately said yes. Joy waves bye to everyone and they all tell her it was nice to meet her and hope to see her again. And Melissa thinks that if it goes according to plan then she won’t be back to see them again.

At the end of the day, Melissa visits your classroom. “Hey y/n.” She says as you’re packing your things up.

“Oh hey Melissa. What’s up?” You ask her and sling your bag over your shoulders.

“Well I was wondering if I could go with you to the coffee shop tomorrow? I haven’t been there in awhile and wouldn’t mind a good store bought coffee once in awhile instead of one from the break room.” She says and you look at her confused.

“Oh I always meet Joy at the coffee shop in the morning.” You say and Melissa smiles, she knew it.

“Well that’s alright, maybe I could get to know her better then.” She says and you agree and tell her the time that you meet up with Joy.

The next morning, Melissa gets to the coffee shop first and orders a coffee for her and a hot chocolate for you. You and Joy come in a couple minutes later and see Melissa near a table with 2 drinks. “Hey Melissa.” You say and she looks over at you and smiles.

“Hey y/n and Joy. Here y/n, I got you a hot chocolate.” She says and sees the frown on Joy’s face before smiling again. Melissa smiles at that, she knew that Joy was still getting you a hot chocolate every morning. You said it yesterday to Janine and Jacob. “I would have gotten something for you but I forgot to ask y/n here what you like.” Melissa says and puts a hand on your shoulder.

Joy looks at the interaction and gives a confused look. “That’s alright, I’ll just go get a drink for myself. I’ll be right back.” She says and you and Melissa nod.

You look at Melissa a little confused. “Why are you being so much nicer all of a sudden?” You say to her and she just shrugs, feigning innocence.

“I don’t know what you mean y/n? I’m just getting to know your little girlfriend over there.” She says and hits you, Melissa is jealous.

“Melissa, are you jealous?” You asked and she scoffs. “I’m being serious, yesterday you asked me out saying you liked me. And now you’re at the coffee shop that I meet Joy at every morning and meeting nicer to me in front of her.”

“I’m just trying to make sure that she’s right for you, is all.” Trying to cover up the fact that you were right.

Before either of you can say anything else, Joy comes back with her drink. “Hey y/n, I would like to stay longer but worked called and asked if I could come in earlier. Like right now earlier. And I wouldn’t mind the extra cash.” She says and you nod.

“That’s alright, I understand, have a good day at work.” You tell her and she gives you a goodbye kiss on the lips and the fire in Melissa’s eyes return.

“Alright thanks for understanding, it was nice seeing you again Melissa.”

“Ya you too.” Melissa says back to her. Melissa didn’t like that kiss, and worse is that the only issue she has with Joy is that she’s with you. Other than that, Joy seems like a nice person, and she hates that fact.

At the end of the day Melissa stops by your classroom again. “Hey y/n.”

“Should I expect this to be a daily occurrence? You stopping by my classroom at the end of the day?” You say with a laugh and she gives a small laugh at that.

“Maybe.” She says and closes your door and walks up to you. You look at her confused for closing the door, but then think she probably wants to talk to you privately. “I don’t like her. Your girlfriend.” She says and you frown.

“Why?”

“I don't know, there’s just something about her that I don’t like.”

“Well you’ve only just met her. If you see her more then you might grow to like her.” You tell her with a smile.

“No I won’t actually.” She says and you’re confused.

“And how do you know you won’t?”

She looks you dead in the eyes and walks closer to you. “Because as long as she’s with you, then I won’t like her.” She says and she got very close to you and you had to walk back and you end up backing into your desk and she puts her hands on the desk on both sides of you, effectively trapping you. You look at her with wide eyes.

“Melissa, I-” and you don’t get to say what you were about to as her lips are on yours. You begin to kiss her back and then push her off. “Melissa what the fuck? You know I’m with Joy.” You tell her and she smirks.

“Then why did you kiss me back? And don’t deny it. I know you did before you pushed me off.” And you look at her speechless since she’s right. Melissa smiles at you and goes to kiss you again but you stop her.

“No Melissa, I’m with Joy now.” You tell her and she frowns.

“You wouldn’t rather be with me?” She asks and you shake your head.

“I’m happy with who I’m with. I’m sorry.” You tell her and walk out of your classroom, leaving behind a hurt Melissa who has a tear rolling down her cheek.

Taglist: @esposadejoyhuerta

@imaginesmultifandoms

@idonothingalldays-blog

@sexysapphicshopowner

@dvrkhcld

If you want to be added then let me know!

[akaashiwaifuuwu]

dress - taylor swift

Lee felix and fem reader

Warning : smut, yn ex is a jerk, very fluffy, last part is inspired by friend (season2 ep 4), being called slut (that's it ig)

(An: I have exams going on its my half yearly, it will end tomorrow plus it's durga puja knocking was very busy with shopping and all I hope you all like it, please interact with my works as it helps me !!)

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT !!

you broke up. It's done. All those things just flashed infront of your eyes, the memories, the kisses, the I love yous, it's all gone, he was cheating on you this entire time.

It meant nothing to him, but it meant everything to you all those 4 years went to a vain, he was manipulating you, mental and physical abuse which you ignored because you were so in love with him. They say in love every wrong becomes rights.

"Excuse me, you will catch cold" your dull eyes meet a boy who have freckles. "Are you okay?" He was holding the umbrella above both of you and you nodded yes "tell me, what's bothering you" that's it. You broke down.

He was scared "can I touch you?" He asked and you replied yes causing him to hug you and you cried harder. "Let's get you home, you will get sick yeah?" You nodded.

"I don't know where you live" that guy said "oh, I'm felix, lee felix" he smiled at you "im y/n and I live here" you pointed him your block "no way, i live here" he smiled "your smile gives comfort" you looked down "well, see you soon" he said "don't you wanna come in?" You turned around

"wouldn't it be a problem for you?" He looked at you "not really" you look dull "well we can-" you were cut off my him "I can come some other day okay?" He smiled and went back waving you goodbye.

It has been 3 months since the break up, will you say you're over him? no. You haven't met that guy since that day, you wanted to show him your gratitude.

"Oh my God, we met finally, I was waiting for you to call me, I'm hurt that you didn't" that voice. You turned around to see it was your ex. You wanted to run away. He grabbed your wrist "let's go yeah?" You grabbed his hand which was holding your hand "you're inflicting me pain".

"Me? i could never ever hurt you" He yelled "it's you who hurts me, you know I love you" you were going to give in but his grasp was so tight, you were pretty sure you have bruise now.

"Look she is hurt, let her go mister" ah that freckle boy you saw, he had 7 more ppl they all look so strong "okay whatever you got new people to fuck, enjoy being a slut".

You were crying, again. You were hurt, again.

"I dare you to say that again" the freckle boy said "she is a-" he stopped "whatever, she is a pathetic whore" uh oh "that's it" felix walked towards him and you tugged him, his eyes soften.

You were there, you can't hear anything. "Hey, yn you're okay?" You smiled and walked away. You were so dumb, stupid, so in love.

Felix ran upto you. "Hey, let's go out" he said, the freckled boy heard a whimper as he turn around he saw you crying. Soon you bursed into tears

"Was I not good enough?" You dont know him, yet you trust him.

Here you are, it has been 2 years since that messy break up took place, you and felix have been extremely close, he is studying computer science and you're doing law.

It's peaceful being with him. Comfortable silence you know? It's not awkward.

"Yn" he called you out

| say my name and everything just stops |

"Yes?" You looked at him. Oh how you melted. "I bought KitKat for you!" He exclaimed smilingly. "You remember?"

"Obviously baby" ah. That nickname which makes you wanna scream, yell, rip off your hairs, you were flabbergasted. He held his hands out "let's go?" And you hold his hand back 'webtoon typa shit' you told yourself.

You were walking peacefully when felix told you to go back you were confused and you heard someone call out your name as you turn back, him.

you were in shock. Felix pulled your hand and you both started walking away. "I didn't feel anything" you were dull "I moved on" you smiled and felix wiped your tears.

It's okay yn, you did it, you thought to yourself.

felix was knocking at your door while saying "yn yn yn yn yn yn-" you finally opened the door "oh my god what do you want, it's 3 am, 3 AM!" You looked at him "it actually 3:15 am but nevermind I saw your lights on so I thought to check up on you" wow, wait what? "What were doing late night?" You looked concerned "Stop making that face or else you will get wrinkles".

Deadass. "Okay okay I wasn't able to sleep" you stopped blocking the door and he let himself in, he saw all the notes, books scattered "Woah there, you're cramming?" He looked at you "im sleepy" you said "you ain't wearing a bra?" He was flabbergasted "buffon, I will sleep and you expect me to wear bra while I'm at my room?".

Fair point.

"Let's sleep" felix took your hands and turned off the lights "you can sleep?" You looked at him "my room was cold and I guess I need something warm enough" he smiled while you both lay down. "What are we?" You both looked at eachother, he replied "anything you wants us to be" oh that stupid smile.

| I don't want you like my bestfriend |

Your head was resting on felixs arm. You both were close. Very close. But you were too sleepy to notice anything. Once you closed your eyes felix heard your snores and you turned to him while grabbing his waist. It's normal for you both to cuddle.

In your dream you both had a family and cute little family, where he took care of you both. It was amazing.

You woke up and saw him holding you tightly as if you were a glass which he doesn't want to let you go and slip so that you will break. The way when you broke he picked every piece of you. He is holding you so that you don't break again.

Your heart flutters, bestfriends feels like this right? Once you removed his hair covering his forehead "yes angel?" He looked at you. You are stucked. You just wanna be his.

Today's class was so hectic "lix" you yelled while hugging him and you saw his friend circle "ayo how's you" minho looked at you, you smiled at him.

Oh how jealous he was "soooooooo" hyunjin came and looked at you "Are you dating?" Hyunjin got a no from you "let's go on a date then".

Felix stopped working. "Well I like certain someone if something doesn't work with them, you can be my side chick" you winked at him.

"If he can't fuck you, you're most welcome to come towards me, I bet my fingers will help you" he smiled "anyways" you looked at felix "why don't we watch some movies".

Felix. His name gives you endorphins. You just want him to hold you. "Morning" you heard while you met him on your way to shopping market "youre coming with me" he smiled at your command "Where are we going?" He laughed.

While you were trying on cloths he was taking your packages "how's this dress?" He looked at you "wow, you look amazing" he whispered as if something took his breathe away "look at the back it's so pretty" backless. It was backless.

Right now at the party you were wearing the same outfit with heels and red lipstick. People were looking at you. Felix was definitely flabbergasted.

| only bought this dress so you can take it off |

Here you were kissing him while holding his collars and his knee on between your legs. You were at his place. While whimpering and grinding on his knee while he was kissing you "you looked so pretty, hard to touch". He said as he started removing your heels.

From lips to legs he kissed every inch of your body. "You're so ethereal honey" he removed your dress, you felt so surreal. "I love you" you said it, you were vulnerable and you did. "I love you too, my love"

"Fuck youre this wet?" You were shy "im sorry" you looked away "why are you apologizing?" He looked at you "my ex told me being wet is bad, it means im a slut and get turned on by everyone" you looked at him.

"Oh fuck that bitch, being wet is good and normal there's nothing to apologize for, my love" he took you to his bed.

"Ethereal" he look at your face, "I can fuck you better than hyunjin".

"May I have your consent?" He looked at you "yes darling" he took off his cloths and your bra and panties "wow, I got no words, I'm so mesmerized by you"

He played with your clit causing you to moan, and then he licked your pussy while playing with your clit, you grabbed his hair, while trying to close your leg between which you were unable to due to his head.

"I will come please please" he smiled while inserting the finger and playing with the clit.

Your head rested on your bed "oh you came" you smiled and you looked so fucked up, "how do you feel?" You were not able to answer at all "your leg is still shaking? You won't be able to handle me take rest baby".

"No no no I need you please" you grabbed him while crying "okay okay okay, have me all you want" he said while wearing the condom.

He said while inserting himself and grabbed him so hard, it felt amazing and you screamed, "aw are you feeling good?" He said while thrusting himself "you're so cute" he smiled.

"Felix" you moaned and clenched so hard "fuck baby, you're clenching so hard" you're about to cum and he is too.

He went deep and slow "felix" you screamed and came and he came inside you.

It's morning, "sleeping beauty smh" hyunjin was walking while you woke up and you had cloths on? How? "hyujin, how many times I gotta tell you? This is real life not some texting shit" minho glared at him "whatever" hyunjin threw his head back "180 degree, 20 minutes" once hyunjin heard it, he shut up.

"Yn you're up" bangchan looked at you the atmosphere was too serious "okay I pull up" you said thinking it will lift the vibes "that's the worst way you can try to change the atmosphere, yn you have skill issues" minho walked.

"So are you two official?" Changbin interrupts "what are you talking about?".

"You're wearing his clothes the hell bro?" Jisung said while drinking coffee, you layed down on his bed and turned facing his bed while kicking your feet and giggling, "are you stupid?" Seungmin added "stupidly in love with felix" you mumbled but you were pretty sure no one was able to catch it as your face was pressed into the bed.

"Pardon?" Jeongin asked "nothing" you got up "where's felix?" Once you looked at the guys, you saw they guys closed their eyes, "yn wear pants" chan scolded you "im wearing look" you lifted your shirt but they still didn't open their eyes.

"You know what I will find felix" you sighs heavily, while walking towards kitchen "you're awake" he made a comment "so about yesterday, what are we" you asked him "clearly not bestfriend" he laughed.

"Gimme kiss" you pouted "brush your teeth" he looked at you "okay daddy" you walked away.

Once you were back you saw the guys at the kitchen "you both had sex?" chan banged his hands to the table "okay okay it happened but I like her and she likes me too, it's mutual" chan saw you.

"You didn't even said that to me?" Chan looked so hurt. "You didn't even said you liked her" chan looked at you "I thought I don't have chance so it would've been better".

"You betrayed me" chan looked at you "you know the time, when we heard chan moaning it's cause he was sending a girl memos of him moaning and she gave him money" everyone gasped "how did you know?" Chan exclaimed while pointing at felix "who told you" the pointing fingers turned into minho "you're a death meat" minho looked away.

"Minho have a third nipple" chan exclaimed "you bitch" minho gasped while everyone looking at him "hyunjin pays money to girls to tell him he's a bad boy, and degrade him" minho pointed him "if im going down im taking everyone with me" minho smiled proudly.

"Guy's we are forgetting felix and yn are dating" changbin reminds "okay so we didn't confess but yn would you like to be my girlfriend?" He looked at you "I can't comprehend what just happened but yes I would love too and minho you have a third nipple?" You smiled "don't remind them" minho whispered.

[pinkmoondoll9shihtzu]

a while ago you answered and ask of mine with something that really resonated with me, abt your real self feeling like it was trapped in a glass cage. anyway im taking your ask box name literally. I used to live in a world full of magic and wonder, I think we all do when were young, and then alot of awful stuff happened, it took alot, a new traumatic tragedy every month. and now the magic is gone and it feels like it was never there and wont ever be there again. (1/2)

thankyou for returning to my askbox im glad what i said helped befofre, sorry it took a while to respond i been ~in a haze--- my glass case got fogged up so to speak🩶gosh i been thinking lately i need to do mushrooms for the first time ina few years. the past month was such a trauma overload its thrown a wrench in all my plans & the world feels completely different to me now, i can barely even be online anymore it all feels so hostile to my sense of whimsy.

basically the only thing thats been getting me thru this past 5 weeks is just, going outside. not necessarily walking just sitting, breathing in the fresh air, and looking closely at the trees. when i sit outside without any distraction its impossible for me to deny that the magic is alive, objectively it is always there it extends far beyond me or any personal problem i have, it is going to outlive me. it comforts me so much to inhale the outdoors its the coping mechanism i've returned to again & again since childhood. i love feeliing like im so small im just nothing. yea i feel like shrooms cld b really nice rn..

grief is hell but its necessary because it taught me how to enjoy whats good.... the cycle will always keep spinning & the warm feelings will always return. from being an old person who been thru it so many times i trust that now. have u ever met a greedy rich person before? they have everything handed to them so they've never learned what it means to appreciate life. they're never satisfied because they don't know true despair or loss. this is not all rich ppl some still have perspective but its a thing w some, we all kno its a thing. for me it really has served my soul to go through so much pain & lose all control. Now i see every peaceful silent "boring" moment as true bliss. i dont rly need anything anymore , imo that is how death transforms & elevates

ofc it dont happen over night and u really do have to let yourself cry it out. let yourself wallow , feel pity for yourself like you would feel pity for a child who came crying into your arms. comfort yourself, get it all out dont try to hide from it. slowly the tides will turn. things will begin to stand out to you, little beauties you never noticed before. the simple things..they mean so much more once u have experienced true terror. i pray very much for your heart to heal anon ❤️‍🩹 the whimsy will return to u i can tell by the way u want it for yourself & others. U can be a guide to them thru your actions. ilu im here for u just dont give up 🌷 pmd9

[transfemlogan]

plz teach me how to start writing smth /silly

i want to write a fic but idk how to start lol

-rauberrauber

I WILL TELL U MY WRITING PROCESS (BADLY EXPLAINED) @rauberrauber

STEP ONE: THE IDEA PHASE !!!

Come up w/ an idea & then write it down like. Halfassedly. Like my current fic was written down as "Logan transforms in2 a wolf on a full moon & virgil stays w/ him & makes a potion or whatever 2 keep the pain away & then he just turns in2 a dogy" (exact quote) & then was added onto 2 make my outline

This is my current outline (censored just so you guys dont. Get spoiled 4 everything that happens in the fic HEHDKDN) its just a lot of like rambling, trying 2 get everything in ordsr

REVYS TIP: MAKE SURE YOU ARE DAY DREAMING ABOUT YOUR IDEA NONSTOP. /silly whenever I try to write something when I haven't thought about how it'll go while I'm doing a chore or listening to music or falling asleep, the idea will never ever come out bcuz I have no idea what I'm even trying to do.

STEP TWO: THE PLANNING PHASE !!

Start planning ! I use Notion 2 organise everything, but i used 2 use my notes app 4 the longest time (& sometimes still do if I am too lazy to open my computer).

I write down a basic summary of my plot, how many chapters there are if its a chaptered fic, the characters & relationships, a timeline if its needed, a to-do list (ex. Research [insert thing], give the characters last names, create the timeline, etc), a list of what I need 2 research (& then keeping track of everything I research), title ideas, world building, etc etc

My planning phase is like... A Lot of work bcuz i really like to plan! It is my favourite part of any creative work i do, bcuz there is something wrong w/ me /j /silly.

This is sort of what my notion page looks like for "To The Tune Of Your Death". I also have a page for character info, like pronouns & ages & genders & races & relationships w/ each other, & two separate timelines with exact years and days (bcuz it is very much needed 4 this entire au). One for the main fic timeline (like when Janus dies and when Logan and Virgil start dating) AND one for background information (like their parents divorces, bcuz it unforrunately relates to the fic)

REVYS TIP: DO NOT GET SCARED BY HOW MUCH PLANNING I DO. it is entirely a me thing. I have yet to meet anyone who plans as much as I do & enjoys it like I do.

STEP THREE: THE WRITING PHASE !!

Note: the writing & planning phase overlay each other A Lot. You are going to start writing & then pause 2 keep planning or u will be planning & realise you need to start writing to Continue to plan. This is very normal, esp if ur researching for a disability or a race— you will not do research One Time & know everything immediately.

START WRITING!!! I always have like 7-10 drafts & I'm usually rewriting as I write. I use CalmyWriter to write on my computer and then I transfer it to discord so I can have it on my phone. I also use my notes apps a lot of the time! Bcuz its easy to just write on my phone anywhere than wait 2 use my laptop. I avoid google docs, simply bcuz i absolutely hate google docs (& it usually lags real bad 4 me)

(I do however transfer everything to google docs once I am done, bcuz i like 2 share my fics w/ ppl who want 2 beta!)

When I start my first draft (which u will always have a first draft) I am not at all focused on grammar, spelling, or "good writing", I'm focused on getting the idea down & the basic flow of events & following my outline (unless it needs to be revised). Literally my first drafts are so awful & thats the point.

Its usually very like (example): Virgil walked to the store and he bought this. [Insert what he bought as it relates to what he will be doing later] logan said hi to him he is blushing & gay. They arw talking. [Skip kissing scene] janus dies yayyy yippee

Thats what my 1st drafts r like. & then either once I am done, or while I am writing, I'll start revising. I will go back and rewrite scenes or add scenes in or move stuff around. Sometimes I have my 1st draft side by side with my revision & sometimes I go off memory

& once I am done w/ my revision... I do it all over again. & then again. & then I keep doing that until its finished.

I always keep my sketchbook & a pen/pencil by me while I am writing, incase I need to make a quick note of something for later or if I need to sketch out a layout of somehing (for example, I stopped to layout Virgil's witchcraft/office room while writing tge analogical fic)

STEP FOUR: UM. THE REST... OF IT ALL PHASE !!

I title my fic (if it hasnt been titled already), I create a summary for AO3, I send it out for my friends who want to beta, I reread it like 50 times & go "wow I am so good at writing", I create drafts on tumblr & ao3 and make sure its tagged correctly & the correct ppl r @ ed if i had a taglist of some sort etc etc

Any of my fics (or art) that you see get posted, were 100% in my drafts for like 3 hrs b4 they were posted bcuz i kept going through it and making sure everything is good (esp bcuz i cross post on tumblr & ao3)

& that is... pretty much my entire writing process broken down.

I think one of the scariest parts of starting to write for me personally was the first draft part. I always felt like it needed to be good IMMEDIATELY or else i wasnt being a "good writer". But most, if not all, writers dont start off "writing good", they start off with a shitty rough draft. & then keep revising & rewriting.

The best advice i have ever seen was "just start it", bcuz if ur so caught up on writing well, nothing will ever get done. Just GO START IT RIGHT NOW GO QUICKLY RUN!!!!!! RUN !!!!!!!!!!!!! WRITE !!!!!!!!

[e2019]

life was so much easier when i could run away from my problems i mean obvs i still practice escapism on the regular but it’s not enough i need a permanent solution like all those times i cried trying to decide if i had what it takes to get thru sophomore yr of undergrad… then i switched majors to avoid all those previous fears and graduated magnum cum load and with highest honors or whatever are the phrases im thinking of. the shit u get to walk across stage first for which is convenient for and my Z initial last name except my graduation was during covid online so i didnt go.

anyways moral of the sorry is now the stakes are so much higher. if i fuck up i might get kicked out or if i dont keep working my family won’t be able to afford not being homeless (not really it’s just my mom is a white karen + my brother has ocd that make him obsess over his perception of “cleanliness” = think they’re too good to live in the [worse, poorer, more predominantly black, drug infested]) cheaper old houses nearer the city center than the suburbs.

i could not ever justify giving up so hard that i leave my mom & brother all alone (which is why, if any of yall remember last summer or whenever i was blogging a lot about living with my dad, well as much as i did & do want that, the correct/responsible decision was to come back to help support my mom & brother)…

…not me tho i was about to move in with all my west side homeless buddies until they of all ppl started like trying to stage an intervention for me. aside from that i think i would feel a lot more comfortable in such an area, at least after every one gets to know me so they can stop tripping on how i look like white 14y/o who doesnt know how to navigate around a “”scary”” side of town inhabited by “”dangerous people””

seriously single best piece of advice i can give here is just flirt with all the men also most of the women have something to cry about so let them do so unapologetically & comfort them. try this it really works. then report back in about an hour wjth all the progress u made.

going back to the original topic of this post, my fave ways to release stress used to be 1) weightlifting 2) running 3) swimming but having since lost all of the necessary equipment for the aforementioned actions, what else do u expect from me ?

[gayspock]

bro.... okay assorted thoughts from dna mad scientist

first of all i already said it but i am SO freaking in love with namtar's character design. the practical effects are so, so, so freaking good. the way he walked... literalllyyyy i hate 2 draw comparisons, but i think abt how nowadays so much shit is just cgi'd for the fucking HELL of it like... ough you could NOT get cgi that would be anywhere near as harmonious as this costume was with the actor's performance. that cunt was feeling themselves.

and in general i will say i just. like tbh i knowww ive said it a lot but its so good and refreshing how creative some of the character designs are. theyre freaking weirdoooo. WEIRDOOO. I LOVEEE it. the other little scientist... idid not catch names (thats one thing i will say abt farscape - the names are so hard to get a hang of omg lol..) BUT i liked that design too. smile. aeryn's transition was a bit iffy but HEY. cant win em all

anyways storywise itself ok. listen im goin somewhere with this. i think its just... tumblr saturation... that makes me so sick of "found family". like im sorrryyy. i mean- i dont hate it i DONT. but the way ppl discuss it on here is so... weird bc half the time it doesnt even apply, or it's like... yeah theyre guys who like each other but its kind of just a friendship group and idk to me found family is more of an emphasis on certain themes rather than just. guys who hang out % got feelings for each other but. ok sorry thats an aside rank bc...

but.. FREAKING WHATEVER ANYWAYSSSS like my point. is its like. maybe i sound like a cunt. i dont know. im not trying 2 be edgy, but i get it sounds like that its just- i feel like shitty behaviour is necessary sometimes to make it more realistic SORRRYYY LOL.... but its weirdly refreshing when its like... the point keeps being made that yeaahhh these guys ARE starting to take a bit of a shine to one another. BUT ultimately theyre all stuck in a horrible fucking situation, & theyre so desperately sick for their lives back that they'll do freaking ANYTHING and throw these cunts under the bus like THAT. like even just in recent episodes- a few of them have been willing to just leave them behind if they gotta.... like d'argo on that one planet, and rygel in the cell... they donttt give a fuck and why would they yknow

and so like watching them just. YNAK PILOTS FREAKING ARM OFF. CHRIST. like- like it makes sense man... ha ha fuck me.. it does. like shit man. you go through so much fucking horseshit. theyre just kind of having to put up with each other. theyre first year uni flatmates right now for realll, not even that, and theyve been put through some shittt. and i LIKE that. it makes sense. & i think it will make any deeper connections more organic later on

and spreaking OF ANOIAFKIWFK['PGJSEG OSMKGAOJISGJPISDJ I LOVE PILOT I LOVE PILOT ILLOVEEEE pilot... pilot,zhaan and crichton are my FAVOURITES. but pilot could sooo soo shoot up there- it depends on how much more we get to learn about pilot but aooah rughh aorigughgh eekk. eeek. smileee. sortyy. SORRRYYYYY. JUST GIGGLES. KICKS LEGS. CHARACTERRRR TO MEEEE SMILEEE YAAAYYYYYAAYAYAY

also i love what they did with aeryn this episode also and specifically her repertoire with pilot. they have a really good fucking dynamic, man. best friends despite everything. i am actually really glad i like her bc i WAS worried as... perhaps its a more mdern media lens, but i feel like characters of her background, or her baxkground adjacent, can be done ehrhrm. not very well. but i think.... thus far i really love the way the show does handle lots of little character moments in the episodes.

LIKE THATS!!! Thats what i like!! bc- SORRY, im going 2 use trek as an example bc its a. decent comparison. but u have tng, yah? and its not entirely fair- thats episodic, yknow. but a lot of ehrm the character are extremely static and kinda. shallow in tng. lIKE I LOVEEE them sure and theyre all charismatic but i think with many of them ... ehrm lac depth... and . mm its moreso theyre always there to service individual stories, rather than the story is there to service them. and sooo they have to be a little blank- bc they are basically functions, for individual eps, and sotheyre kinda ? at the whim to change from ep to ep bc of that . and we do get some character eps but due to the nature of the show... u dont get the slow release of development, building them like you do here.

and i loveee that here bc its well doneee it is. smile. the way each of them do get fleshed out in every episode and its at a pretty organic pace like ive been saying. and so i likeee aeryn bc i feel like- i feeeel like i was worried they might go too much, too fast with her and it wouldn't work. but the steadier pace.... again, i really love pretty much all her interactions with pilot. i freaking love pilot man . sorry

also love zhaan ive said i love zhaan i want more zhaan bc her concept is everything to me. grin. had 2 say that too BUT OH

on the topic of aeryn. one thing i kinda wish.... I MEAN THEY WOULDNT. AND IT WOULDDD BE FUCKING WEIRD FOR IT TO JUST HAPPEN IN SOME RANDOM EP. but goddd part of me kinda wishes that there was no hard reset in this ep. or at least aeryn had someee lingering issues from whatever that was bc christ was that fucked up. wha tt he hell giys

speaking of, i also liked the like... non-apology from d'argo. again going back 2 what i said. i think its again... i dont know. it feels all the more... natural 2 me... like he's like "oh i would do that again. for sure." and pilots like "i expected that." i think its again wht i appreciate from farscape... theyve done this a few times where its just... a very measured response from characters instead of just freakingggg... forcing them to grovel, trying to close the episode arc story in a narratively satisfying way...instead its just again like yeahh he isnt fuckin sorryyy man. and its fine. lets play freaking music

also final thought. i insist d'argo should have paws still . like lion paws. anyways

[ryugujitr]

Goodmorning or afternoon, evening or g'night.

In this week's bulletin of "What the actual FUCK", we will discuss;

FUCK MORNINGS

'Photoshop? Nope, but I'mma teach u anyway'

Laughing at drama queens is 🤡bad🤡

Feminism vs Opinions

I ain't yo ma'

FYCK MORNING CLASSES- COMMUTING ISNT AS PAINFUL AS WAKING UP 3 HOURS B4 CLASS AND REALISING HOW ILL BE WASTING TIME IN CLASS BC THE WOMAN DOesn'T KNOW SHIT SINCE SHE SPECIALISES IN PRINT. But you know what- you can't say anything bc respect your lecturers and also set THE STACKS OF MONEY U HAVE TO PAY FOR TUITION FEE ON FIRE.

This OWMAN. OH MY GOD THIS WOMAN. SHE IS PISSY AND DEFENSIVE FOR THE SLIGHTEST OF THINGS. GIRL- YA DONT KNOW HOW TO USE PHOTOSHOP OR ANY OTHER ADOBE SOFTWARE-

🤡QUIT.THE.COURSE 🤡

But noooooOoOOo WE MEET HER 6 TIMES A WEEK AND EVERY CLASS IS FUCKING CHAOS- BRUH. And These little devils think distracting her is fun- like EXCUSE ME HAHAHAHAHAHAH- THE FUCK WILL U WRITE IN YOUR EXAMS@??????????????? SOME OF US ACTUALLY WANT THIS DEGREE SO WE CAN WORK , NOT RELY ON A MAN FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES.

OH OH AND THEN- while the chaos is at full blast this girl is just; 'LeT heR sPeaK atleast LISTEN TO MISS FIRST'

And

This hoe- had been distracting and barfing out useless comments since the class started- says 'So *snifFs* we CanT evEn aSk questioNs *forces a fake sob* 🤡🥲

SO WHY WOULD U NOT LAUGH? AND I WAS JUST: PFFT and

the lecturer is just: WHY ARE U LAUGHING AT HER

Like bruh...she is lying. I am laughing at her AUDACITY OF DERAILING THE CLASS AND PRETENDING TO ACT LIKE SHE CARES AND YOUR STUPIDITY. But kay I guess ....

So TURNS OUT IN THIS CENTURY AND DAY-

Someone comes up to me and asks "Are you a feminist?"

And your boi was literally looking for her STUDENT ID SHE LOST AGAIN, n i was like "Why."

"because you're so confident and strong headed- im glad to see young women who are opinionated enough to take a stand even if they are in the wrong."

Mind you, if my hand wasn't in my bag it would've been down that bitch's throat. AND she is younger than me too and HAD NEVER CONVERSED WITH ME BEFORE, EVER. EVEN IF IM WRONG? THE DEBATE WASNT EVEN A DEBATE I WAS ASKED ABOUT MY OPINION N I GAVE IT TO THE LECTURER WHO AGREED EITH ME AND IT HIT ME-

To this day, a WOMAN'S OPINION- only shows she's a FEMINIST- bc an opinion is something ONLY A MAN CAN HOLD. Since, you know...FEMALES aren't humans .....

Finally, we planned on complaining about the lecturer's LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT OUR DEGREE YET HER AUDACITY TO TEACH. SO- I was like, I ain't complaining cause ya'll gonna back out.

HIGHKEY- TRU BC THE COMPLAINT LINGERED ON FOR 2 WEEKS N MOST OF tHESE HOES DIPPED.

And yesterday, as I walked out of The cafeteria after discovering INFLATION IS A BITCH- this random girl comes to me and is just:

🤡- Hey bestie what happened for the complaint?

🫥: Idk

🤡- GoD yOu're so Usless you Have ONE JOB, AREN'T yOu lIke onE of ThoSe smaRt Kids?

🫥: smart I am, your mother, I am not.

If i could, i would've socked her in the face too, but their were too many witnesses.😏🧐

💗❣️So, that concludes our second week's therapy session.❣️💗

BUT PLEASE TELL ME, HOW YOU DOIN? HOW WAS UR WEEK? GOT ANY NEWS ABOUT LITERALLY ANYTHING - I'LL TAKE IT.❣️💗

(i had to put readmore so ppl wouldnt have to scroll endlessly)

MISS GURL - WHAT IN THE FRIENDS’ NAME IS YOUR circus COLLEGE DOIN?

6 TIMES A DAMN WEEK? I WOULDNT EVEN BE ABLE TO STAND TWO- LIKE AM I MISSIN SOME SHIT HERE OR???

nah cuz that stanky ass bitch asked u “WhY aRe YoU lAuGhIng” i wouldve sent a chair flying in her face bc girl nobody paid your dumbass to be here, it aint nobody’s fault but yours that you got stuck teachin shit you dont even know about like nobody did that for you but yourself

ALSO - WHOS THE HOE THAT SAID YOU’RE USELESS FOR NOT DOIN THE JOB SHE KEPT COMPLAININ ABOUT? also legitimately what the actual fuck was that person thinking when asking if you’re a feminist…….. why.

perhaps the kugelblitz or general apocalypse would have been a good idea here. some people just make this world a terrible place, as IF WE DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH TO DEAL WITH ALREADY FOR FUCKS SAKE YKNOW??? TOTALLY NOT MHMMM

And thank you for stopping by and checking up bestie, i am also having a rather horrific start of my last year of this bullshit jungle circus school.

first of all; EVERYONE IS ATTACKING US FROM EVERY SINGLE FUCKIN DIRECTION ABOUT TESTS, STUDYING AND CHOOSING WHICH HIGH SCHOOL TO GO TO (as if last year wasnt fuckin plenty enough of stress), TEN TIMES WORSE BECAUSE ITS OUR LAST YEAR AND “we’re mature, we’re older, we should be smarter and wiser”………. RIGHT.

second of all - we miraculously have a new student in our shitty class (GIRLIE YOU COULDVE PICKED ANY OTHER FUCKIN CLASS, WHY THIS ONE FILLED WITH IDIOTS???) which is weird, not in a rude way but like…… transferring last year to another school seems more stressful than trying to find a needle in a haystack within one hour, considering 1. you dont know anyone or anything here now 2. you barely have friends and 3. the grading system is entirely diff and fucked way more than your past school so idk how this girl is going to make it but im gonna try look out for her from the shadows and help when i can.

third of all - WE DONT HAVE A SINGLE BREAK EXCEPT FOR WHEN YOU HAVE A RELIGION RELATED HOLIDAY (i have one in october - A SINGLE DAY) AND A SINGLE LITTLE SAD FUCKIN FRIDAY UNTIL THE 30TH OF DECEMBER. WHO MAKES IT OUT ALIVE UNTIL THEN IS A FUCKIN PSYCHOPATH BECAUSE I SURE AINT, WHO TF IS MENTALLY STABLE ENOUGH TO BE COMFORTABLE FOR THIS SHIT AINT NO FUCKIN WAY THATS ME

fourth of all, the teachers are twats- worse than ever before. they’re harassing us from every direction because its our last year, we have to behave, we have to study, keep in line - BUT LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT, IM NOT DOING THAT. THE NEXT TIME SOMEONE DARES SPEAK TO ME IN A WAY I DONT LIKE IM SOCKING THEM IN THE FACE, DRAGGING THEM OUTSIDE OF SCHOOL BY THEIR WIG AND BANGING THEIR HEAD AGAINST THE RAILS UNTIL THEY GET A. CONCUSSION. IM NOT HAVING IT.

fifth of all - i was extremely close to getting into a fight and beating the shit out of a girl (lets call her B for Bitch) from my class. im gonna make one thing clear - i hate liars, despise them to the core. i hung out with B and a couple other two girls at lunch and she began literally speedwalking when one of those two girls told me that B asked her why im hanging out with them randomly. i immediately yelled at her dumbass to stop running from her problems and turn around cuz im not a kindergarten teacher, she stopped in her tracks and i told her if she was so bothered by me she should tell me instead of being a coward and talking shit behind my back. she got extremely uncomfortable and didnt dare even look me in the eye for the rest of the day and tbh she should be glad she didnt.

as expected, im definitely not gonna be anything like allison or klaus this year - i’ll be going on a yelling and beating spree from how annoyed people already get me here. my class absolutely didnt change for the better, when they all grow up im betting my left eye they’ll be living a sad life in this country fr.

anyway, ur homegirl will be alone at lunch in the bathroom listening to tua music and probably scrolling thru media bc whats better than learning tua footloose dance in the school bathrooms 💀💀💀

overall you and i both are gonna have a tough year it seems, i’ll always be here for therapy sessions tho dearest 😭😭🖤🖤🖤

[raewritesfiction]

My Year In Review 2022

I posted 2,731 times in 2022

That's 638 more posts than 2021!

411 posts created (15%)

2,320 posts reblogged (85%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@raewritesfiction

@purplerain85

@whiskeyncoke-redux

@differentcatcat

@captainsy-cookiemonster

I tagged 1,359 of my posts in 2022

Only 50% of my posts had no tags

#pedro pascal - 199 posts

#chris evans - 163 posts

#alexander skarsgard - 141 posts

#anon - 129 posts

#ask - 125 posts

#sebastian stan - 123 posts

#alexander skarsgård - 117 posts

#imagine - 113 posts

#henry cavill - 105 posts

#bill skarsgard - 104 posts

Longest Tag: 124 characters

#even if u dont have many followers reblogs still help bc more reblogs can boost fics in tags adn then more ppl will see them

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

See the full post

147 notes - Posted March 20, 2022

#4

Via henrycavillparadise on IG

234 notes - Posted January 20, 2022

#3

238 notes - Posted June 24, 2022

#2

Pearl Necklace [Chris Evans]

A/N: just an idea that floated into my brain…

Plot: Reader has fun times with Chris Evans and he makes sure to praise her right.

Pairing: Female!Reader X Chris Evans

Warnings: smut, oral (male receiving), use of honourifics

[[ Lemme know if you wanna be added or removed from tags; no questions asked ♥️ likes are amazing however I really appreciate Reblogs to help spread my writing further! Thank you 🌈😘]]

Tag List: @jaseminedenise @nikkitasevoli @iraniq @snewsome756 @vikki-rogue @amelia-in-w0nderland @pandaliciouz @crispyimagines17 @marie-is-blogging @bonniebird @nutinanutshell @louise-buchan @differentcatcat @chris-butt @thegetawaywriter @hollyjolly6211 @blowdandelion @peachyrogerss @browneyes9125 @denisemarieangelina @lovinevans @patzammit @tapedeck-hearts

—

Chris had flopped down on the sofa - sinking his way down so his head could lean back - as soon as he had come home. A long day has been expected but it had been especially stressful and had included more than one call to you so he could offload his thoughts.

You had made sure that when he had gotten home you were ready; you wore his favourite little black form-fitting dress and had forgone the need for any underwear. Your hair was tied up and back off of your face which was made up with only the cheapest mascara, eyeliner and lipstick. The kind that smudged and ran with ease.

Silently you walk into the room and stand between his spread legs, sinking to your knees as his eyes open. He smiles widely at you and licks his lips. “Well damn baby…”

You smirk but stay silent and run your hands up his thighs, squeezing lightly and then moving up to his waistband, quickly unbuttoning and unzipping the denim that held him captive.

“You sure know how to make a rough day much better..” Chris runs his fingers over your cheek and holds your chin, his thumb moving back and forth over your jaw while your hands pull down his pants “you’re such a good pet for me…”

A shiver runs over your body at his words and you wrap a hand around his hardening length “always for you…” you whisper quietly and work your hand over him; your fingers dancing around the head and making him squirm.

“You always know how to make me feel good.” Chris moans and runs a hand into your hair to grip the messy bun. “Please…”

You lick your lips and dip your head, sucking the head of his cock lightly; teasing him just enough to make him whine your name. Just when he’s getting extra needy you lower your head and take his cock into your mouth fully until he hits the back of your throat.

“Oh Jesus fuck! When did you learn that?!” Chris arches off the sofa and groans loudly, looking down to watch your head move with each suck of his cock. He grips the messy bun and helps guide your rhythm and speed; jerking his hips when he feels you wrap your hand around his balls and massage lightly.

The dildo you had practiced on wasn’t quite the same size as Chris but it had worked well as you now take him deeper and practically breathe through your ears. Chris’s groans and panting were music to your ears but too soon he pulled you away “I wanna be inside you..” looking down at your running mascara and smudged lipstick with a smirk.

See the full post

239 notes - Posted September 1, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

See the full post

1,008 notes - Posted March 18, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[cielospeaks]

thoughts on f-h 9/2021 update

the good: sumo rinka and mordecai! oh my gosh words cannot describe how glad i am that theyre the free ones! sumordy is the cutest and most wholesome, the fact his voice lines are that he likes sumo bc its a nonlethal way of fighting are the most wholesome thing ever. best boy. i also love that he seems to do a sumo pose as his untransformed battle pose. best boy. and rinka as the oni chief class(?) is amazing! its cool that they show more flame tribe specific outfits since rinka is the only flame tribe character in 14 (ppl were complaining abt the twins and their dad being the only ice tribe and the others being generic models, but the same is true for rinka? idk. the fans act weird abt the japan inspired classes :/ ) but anyways i love her outfit and design! i love that she has the sumo referee fan thing as her weapon also! and thanks for being 4 star pls come home. also the tana and peo convo was actually really wholesome and as i was hoping, compared both of them having protective older siblings (and again soft confirmed peo and tri are sisters, which im still salty that the book 4 story ditched for the sake of the abusive gaslighting “parents” of the fairies’ story and the stupid askr royals storyline)

the not so good: at worst the storyline of tt is really not appealing to me but its b3 and you knew it was coming, what with the story only having the ubw ripoffs of the main story characters besides eir and hel. its cool that the new character is being brought up to be a competent ruler and i kinda get her beef with eir (but cmon the girl only was ever show not-torture by the people who took her as a war prisoner and manipulated her and now treat her like a pet do you really expect her to do anything else) but i feel like theyll just be killed off/vilified for no reason in order to boost up “askr is so perfect and wonderful and flawless uwu and anyone who opposes them bad”

the as of now??????: puts on conspiracy theory hat. so ok i saw a theory that this lif isnt ubw ripoff bad character but actually the real historical lif. the fact he doesnt sound like a guilt tripping sack of shit in his jp voicelines seems to support that (the eng voice is just regular angry/edgy in both), as well as that askr (the character) mentioned him in the main story recently, and that he doesnt give eir a fucking guilt trip when he meets her in the story. however, a lot of ppl are turned on by bad ubw ripoff character and his ingame code is “lif 2″ so more than likely its the fucking asshole i know and dont like. but hey. wait until his epiteth to judge him. if hes historical lif and hes not a fucking tool i might actually even roll for him in his banner.

what about conspiracy theory and ocs?: so ofc this begs the question: what abt alcinous if the conspiracy theory is true? alcinous, the mysterious man in the “castle beyond memory”, is actually the true founder of askr, High King Lif, but due to being betrayed, usurped, and banished, he goes by his middle name now. well, i actually worked this out when askr started exposition dumping abt historical lif. so Alcinous (who ill call that for easiness’ sake) is betrayed, and a few generations later the “ancient Askr” becomes the Askr of the main series due to the descendant of the usurpers making a contract with the dragon (bull?) and becoming the first king. tbh that makes more sense bc the only relationship i could see alcinous having with askr is him being a total doormat and letting himself be walked on, and having it assumed that theyre best buds (which would parallel ichihara as the summoner, and add to the alcinous + ichihara similarities)

another note abt this is that the fact that these characters get ascendants makes me happy since it means theres a chance tri and plumie can get ascendants in next yrs story. plumie i love and i love the not fully formed idea i have abt plumie betrayal arc (and ursula betrayal/going solo arc that i really hope she gets an ascendant, but thats also partly bc memes), but tri really deserved it as she got super screwed over in literally everything, from being released as a pawn of her abusive manipulative “mother” to being treated like an unstable killer (she killed her and peo’s abusive parents in self defense since they wouldve killed peo if she didnt for fucks sake this is worse than the otr nonsense tbh) and she deserves the good content, even if the game doesnt give it to her. im glad at least tri came home during the leg banner

[waxsuyaaa]

beware! large amounts of yapping ahead!

okay its time for me to complain about people because my journal isnt cutting it for my standards in actually wordvomiting everything before I sleep

yay so theres one girl in my class, all stories I could ever say always start with “so there is one person in my class” im not original and neither are they because theres like 10 different boys and they all look and sound the same to me I havent memorised their names after 2 years and 3 of them have the same last name

okay so theres this one girl in my class and y’know how theres always a duo in a trio and apparently im always the one leeching off of other peoples friendships because im always the new person at the school for whatever reason and im probably never going to have a genuine friend group because either i dont try enough or people in schools absolutely suck (im leaning towards the latter option because I dont wanna blame myself)

OKAY im the singular loner oh so sad person in the trio and the other 2 people have so much in common like hey theyre family friends and like the same music and talk about men all the time and never strike a conversation with me and im the person who they pair up with and talk to when theres a task which we are in groups of 3s

so a teacher brought in taylor swift merchandise and I saw one of those light up wristbands and apparently the other 2 ppl who I *think* im friends with also like taylor swift (more than me, because im a wretched fake fan or whatever) and one of them says if they can have the wristband because it was the only one from the eras tour the teacher had and then she offered to buy it off me for 20 bucks and hey you know where this is going

she hasnt paid me in the half a year since that and I keep reminding her and she keeps telling me to remind her and she keeps on going “im gonna pay you next week I promise” like shut up if you’re not gonna keep your promise just say it. if you dont have the money literally just say it and next time we walk to your house you could give the wristband back

but actually the audacity like last week for her to say “why am i even paying you for this its just a bracelet” when we already agreed on it and i may be extremely petty but she could have said its freaking worth is only 5 cents or whatever and then her attempt to GUILT TRIP ME because her allowance is only a dollar everytime she does a chore?? and the fact she said oh just ask [the other person in the friend group] to pay?? like hey hello what this is just between you and i

and the fact that the other person in the friend group stands up for her is just ouchh what yeah I know them two were besties since they were in the womb and maybe even in a past life they were actually intertwined plants or whatevr

and they talked right in front of me just back and forth “oh you dont have to pay her its not worth it” “real friends dont owe people things its just out of kindness” and im like HEY IM RIGHT HERE BEHIND YOU and the fact they kept checking behind them to see if I was eavesdropping which was so incredibly easy because they were literally talking so loud I swear my life is recorded or something and theyre speaking loudly so the viewer can be in on the drama

and maybe im making drama out of nothing but these two CALL ME BESTIE and every single time i call them out on a fault or something and im like thats not what you said earlier BECAUSE EITHER THEIR MEMORY IS WACK OR THEYRE LIARS theyre just like “oh we’re joking” like what the hell you cannot use jokes to get out of situations

even when im not having a good day and trying to not engage in conversatjon as often theyre always like “why did you talk like that” like huh I didnt know I wasnt allowed to stop smiling for a while

i mean theres more stuff and im still gonna say it ive asked her [the uhh first one] if im interesting or not and she replied yeah sure and when asked why she said oh you say animal facts sometimes like HEY IM AN ACTUAL PERSON and the most interesting thing about me is that I say animal facts sometimes like hey look at me im an encyclopedia its literally like when teachers call me “their little calculator” or whatever also EWW this is why I dont like pet names they suck

so am i overreacting?? yeah

should I be thrown against a wall? yeah

can i sleep? no thats why im writing this

[actualbird]

luke pearce comes back from his 8 year disappearance a father, for he has adopted a child

wc: 877

disclaimer: this idea is not up for grabs for other ppl to write it or use it. i will write this as a full fic myself, i just wanted to wordbarf ideas out first

so you cant convince me that luke "orphan boy" pearce would NOT adopt, if ever he were to have a child.

i know the whole "my parents died when i was very young" thing doesnt pop up much in luke's stories, nor does he express too many negative emotions on it, but im sure that if he ever were to make the choice to raise a kid, he'd want to adopt. he'd want to give another kid who lost their parents a life and happiness they didnt think they could get anymore.

but choice isnt really a factor in luke becoming a father. he couldnt say no. he wouldnt.

still figuring out the exact PLOT of how the child HAPPENS but it's linked to NSB stuff. maybe the kid was collateral leftover from a mission and luke was the one who did this mission (AND NO HE DIDNT KILL THE PARENTS, somebody else did, somebody evil, and luke kills THAT evil person), luke was the one the kid immediately imprinted onto and by the time luke got back to NSB HQ, the little girl was clinging to his leg fiercely, the blood splatter on both of them be damned.

"luke saved me," she said, quiet yet fierce. luke gave her his real name because there's no way he's ever going to lie to a child. "so he's mine now!"

everybody finds her adorable and finds luke's immense panic about the situation adorable but it's aaron who finally manages to get the little girl ("my name is evie," she giggles, grabbing for the lollipop aaron is bribing her with. "gimme that and i'll let you talk to luke alone!") to get some snacks from the vending machine with his spare change.

aaron is the one who watches luke have a bit of a breakdown over it all. evie said that luke saved her, and he did, and he cant even bear to think what would have happened if he got to her too late (but he has to think about how he was too late to save her parents). luke is 20 years old and this kid looks at him like hes her entire world, and right now whether he likes it or not, thats true. because her real world was ripped away from her and luke has to pick up the pieces and mend them together into something soft and safe and happy.

"the NSB will place her somewhere shitty," luke says, clenching his fists. "you know they dont give a damn about what happens to people like her. the mission is done."

"but you cant be the one to do this," aaron tells him. "at the very least, you cant do it alone."

"i cant," luke sighs. evie starts walking towards the two of them, a pile of candybars in her arms, and luke lets himself smile. "i'll need all the help i can get."

anyway long story short, luke adopts evie. aaron and his wife look after evie when luke is away on missions. something something more stuff about how basically everything is taken care of and evie lives a pretty wonderful few years with her odd family ("luke is dad, aaron is dad 2, mrs. yishmir is mom 2," evie says. then she blinks up at luke. "dad, when are you going to get married?" and luke chokes on his energy drink)

FAST FORWARD. luke is back in stellis like canon and when he reunites with mc, he's holding the hand of a little girl with bright eyes and a vibrant smile.

"my name is eve pearce!" she introduces herself to mc. "you can call me evie! im detective pearce's best assistant!"

and so everything in canon is the same but not quite

(and my plan in this fic is one HELLUVA nxx ot5 found family (maybe full polycule or platonic, still figuring it out). but yes, mc and the other nxx boys supporting luke and taking care of evie along with him and being there for him every time he has a breakdown over how hes a bad father and how he'll never be enough.

and they let him vent but also they lovingly bonk him on the head from time to time, LUKE PEARCE U R A WONDERFUL FATHER, SHUT THE HELL UP, AND THIS IS A LEARNING PROCESS, OKAY!!!! a learning process for all of them. because theyre all gonna squeeze in and do their own weird brand of parenting with luke. because nxx investigation team means family and family means NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND!!!

it takes a village to raise a kid, as they say, and evie is very very happy that her family just got A WHOLE LOT BIGGER. shes a bit confused tho as to who luke is going to marry, theyre all so cool, afterall!!! can he marry all of them? she'd like that. that would mean she'd get SO MANY BIRTHDAY GIFTS!!! >u<)

[mariesocuniverse]

Relationships: WayV

MaeKun

if it werent for the the laws of ncity he wouldve asked her to join wayv and stay in their dorms

Since they don’t live together or are part of the same unit they don’t really spend a lot of time together but he’ll be damned if he doesn’t want to be with Mae

Large parent/protective older brother energy

not as protective as 127 hyungs but you know

Yeah she’s a menace when she teams up with other WayV members but she doesn’t clown him as much as they do it’s cause she saves that energy for doyoung lmao

mae claims she visits the wayv dorm for him but he’s 50% sure she’s just there for the animals

the other 50% is because she wants him to cook for her which he does even if she doesnt ask

hes like those parents who insist on giving you leftovers to bring home to your family

he taught her to do magic tricks bc she was insistent on wanting to learn at least one

okay but honestly she thinks he really cool despite all the clowning she does to him

like singing? dancing? cooking? visual? magic? and he can fly a plane????

one of the reasons she has high standards ngl

MaeTen

ten has unofficially adopted her whether people like it or not

he has fought with taeyong and doyoung about it she is his baby

if mark and johnny are his brothers, mae is basically his younger sister

if you look at his photo gallery he has a folder dedicated to mae and mae only

any photo or video of them together is basically ten clinging to her like a koala

he looks at her like she put all the stars in the sky but the same goes for mae

she has admitted in an interview that ten is one of her role models because of his talent and work ethic

whenever she needs help with dancing he’s one of the first people she asks

xiaojun once asked him who’s his favorite between yangyang and mae and you could see him malfunction for like six seconds before jokingly scolding him

“yah how could you ask me that type of question?”

fun fact! ten was the person she asked to go with her when she got her first tattoo!

he arranged the appointment at the place where he got his and held her hand when she was getting it

Lowkey considered getting matching tattoos but never really took the time to think of what tattoos they’d get

MaeWin

another top ship among czennies

these two are so soft for each other omg

just one glance at the two and you’re already melting

You can see Yuta screaming about MaeWin whenever the group is together and they’re interacting

And if you can’t see it you’ll probably hear it

MaeWin: casually talking

Yuta: is this what heaven looks like

MaeWinMark is just yuta’s weakness and he doesn’t even bother to hide it

Okay back to MaeWin before I get ahead of myself and make an entire post about Yuta and MaeWinMark

If they’re gathered in a large group their interactions aren’t really noticeable unless you’re actively looking for it

While the others are talking you can just see Mae playing with his hands or winwin giving her a soft smile while patting her head

They talk more when they’re either in a small group or just the two of them

MaeWin shippers were devastated when they got separated so when nct 2020 happened they went feral

Every once in a while they go out for hotpot and talk about what has been going on

LuMae

this man right here

they first met when she was visiting NCT U dance practice for BOSS with food and she heard him from the hallway

its one of the reasons why she wasn’t intimidated by him even though hes a giant

she was excited to see what kind of energy and personality he would bring to nct

and she was not disappointed at all

personal hype man

whenever they’re on a variety show together and mae is asked to do something he just yells “FIGHT HAEYADWAE”

of course the same goes for mae but less loud bc last time she kept yelling she lost her voice and couldnt talk for the rest of the show

He just has this energy where if he’s hyped up about something she feels energized to be hyped up well so you just hear the both of them cheering loudly

its always interesting to see because you just see a gentle giant cheering loudly with this smol girl next to him trying to match his energy

he always makes sure she’s comfortable when they’re at a schedule

like we know how he’s really silly on camera but he’s also very observant and caring

one time mae complained about how her feet hurt from the heels she was wearing so he just picked her up bridal style and walked to the van without a word

XiaoMae

They’ve heard abt each other from Kun and ten and greeted each other when they passed by each other in the halls but they never really had a chance to grow close until nct 2020 happened

Mae wasn’t in the Make a Wish unit so there weren’t a lot of chances to get to know each other while promoting either but it doesn’t mean they’re not friends

ten also hogs her attention when she visits the wayv dorms but we dont talk about that

these two arent as close as the others but not to the point where they actively avoid each other

whenever they’re together they just vibe

theres no awkward silence or small talk they just talk about random stuff

“no lucas, i dont hate xiaojun hyung we just dont hang out as often as we do”

“yes hendery we do have each other’s numbers we just don’t talk often”

WayV is lowkey tempted to lock the two of them in a practice room together and do a vlive to see what’ll happen

prime candidates for “It’s Awkward but It’s Okay”

their dynamic is kinda DoRen where they pretend to be awkward around each other as a joke

like they went out together once and everyone as excited bc omg they were interacting

XiaoMae shippers are starved for content and will accept any crumbs that come their way

HenMae

the duo people didnt know they needed until they met

its not like people didnt want them to become friends its just that theyre energies match well

these two are such a vibe

you know how there are ppl who don’t see for long periods of times but you still want tackle them in a hug whenever you meet? yeah its like that

kun sometimes wants to separate the two bc of how much chaos they cause together

they’re the duo where they think something is a good idea at the time but ends up as something bad at the end

kun has banned the two from the kitchen bc of a fire they started

HenMae shippers are thriving because of all the stories of the dumb shit they’ve done

lowkey considered doing a series together on nct daily but then the channel stopped uploading vids so it was never mentioned again

one time he was on call with his sister when she walked in and accidentally mistook her as his gf and now they jokingly have each other as bf and gf in their phone contacts

ten nearly had a heart attack when he saw the contact name pop up and mae picked up the call

 yangyang has the whole thing recorded on his phone and refuses to delete it

MaeYang

(A/N everytime i see this gif i need a moment to pause and try and remember my ideas cause my head goes empty when it comes to yangyang)

okay if HenMae are chaotic, MaeYang are worse

kun doesnt need to dye his hair gray bc of all the stress these two cause him

czennies thought they didnt interact much bc of different schedules and groups but once nct world happened they changed their minds

MaeYang slowly climbing up the ranks of nct ships

during one of his lives yangyang mentioned how he spoke a lot with mae and that she wanted to add him to the 00liner gc

czennies lost it that day bc 1) holy shit theres a 00liners gc and 2) why tf hasnt yangyang been added into it yet

insists that she calls him oppa/hyung even though theres only a one month difference between them

Mae and Yangyang: whispering in the corner of the room

kun: theyre either talking shit about someone or world domination and i cant tell whats worse

he tried teaching her some german once and she now knows like three sentences

“Hallo, Ich bin Mae. Was geht ab? Mir geht’s gut.” (A/N this is the outcome of my three years of german lessons everyone)

and basically all the swear words but we dont need to talk about that

haechan jokes that he’s stealing mae away from the dreamies so he wont be the maknae in wayv 

[meltwonu]

| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 |     [CHAPTER 7]

pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader

this chapter’s notes; camshow, fingering, daddy!kink, dirty talk, ‘cuz you can touch touch me~ 😏 ur gonna need to imagine headband/bandana wearing left&right cheol for this cuz that’s the fantasy i was imagining for this chapter the entire time i was writing it hehe 🍒 quick apologies to anyone who thinks this is moving a little slow 😩 I literally don’t know how to shut up and I end up writing too much LMAO and as always, thank you for the continued interest! Have a great weekend bbys! 💕 

chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - 6 - 7 - ?

dom.cheol has donated $400

therealchan99: yea this is about right on course

dom.cheol: what, did u miss me? 😏

gentleman_josh95: loosely

chwenon: more like the obscenely large donations were missing lolol

You jokingly roll your eyes, exhaling deeply as you push your toys off to the side of the bed. You’d just finished your Saturday show without a hitch, albeit feeling a little lonely. “Aww, c’mon you guys! Don’t tease~” Glancing around the room, it did feel a little odd to you now that Seungcheol wasn’t there but he had called earlier in the day and told you that it might’ve been better if he stayed back.

In truth, you understood exactly how he felt.

Part of you was ready to throw all caution out of the window when it came to Seungcheol and he felt it too. But at the same time, you knew it wouldn’t be that easy and that there were still things that the two of you needed to discuss before deep diving into intimacy, especially when it came to powerplay.

kitty_junjun: hey dont take this in a weird way but like

kitty_junjun: i feel like i saw u earlier today…

universe_WZ: ooo i never thought abt that before

sleepy_wonu has donated $75

xcaliburDK: have ppl recognized u irl before? :o

dom.cheol: i feel like i might’ve seen u irl before too…

Your cheeks bloom a hot pink; a nervous giggle on your lips. “Oh! I mean, yeah, there’s been a handful of times. I’ll wear wigs out sometimes though. Can’t have people calling me out in a grocery store, y’know?”

kitty_junjun: wait so maybe i did see u? I dont wanna give out locations tho…

“Maybe! I’m still out on my little weekend trip and I was out and about earlier~ if you see me next time, don’t hesitate to say hi! I promise I don’t bite~” You pause, leaning closer into the webcam as you wink.

“Unless you want me to~”

You start running a bath right after you end your show, stretching and turning on some music as you start to unwind. Thankfully you didn’t have a tiring show today, so you decided to take the rest of the night to pamper yourself in preparation for your day with Seungcheol.

Biting your lip, you pick up your phone, already seeing a multitude of messages from Seungcheol on your lockscreen.

cheollie ✨: don’t forget ur glass of water!

cheollie ✨: also don’t forget i’m picking you up at 9:30am

cheollie ✨: hope ur ready to spend all day at the roller rink with me baby

You can’t help but grin, already excited to see how Seungcheol spent his day at work. Typing a response, you quickly hit send before setting your phone down onto the nightstand and making your way to the bathroom.

‘I can’t wait! I’m so excited~ u promised me free skates and free food so don’t forget!!’

It’s exactly 9:29AM when Seungcheol messages you that he’s downstairs.

You check yourself in the mirror one last time, smoothing down your dress and hair and grabbing your bag before you rush down to meet Seungcheol. 

There’s a mild feeling of nervousness that pours over you, but you quickly shake it off once you see his blue headed figure standing outside of the lobby.

“‘Cheollie!”

He turns around to face you just as you stop in your tracks; gasping when you see the cute way he’s styled his hair for today. “Whoa… wow, uh, j-just.. Wow. You look great in bandanas...”

Seungcheol laughs, eyes forming crescents. “I don’t usually work the weekends so I thought I’d spice it up a little. Guess it looks good?” You can only nod shakily, mentally cursing yourself when you feel the arousal already pooling inside your body. He winks at you once, opening the passenger’s side door as you slide into his car.

“Hope you’re ready to have a boring day at the roller rink with me.” He gives you a tight lipped smile, shutting your door before he rounds the car to get in on the driver’s side.

“I’m telling you, it’s not going to be… y’know, anything crazy.”

“Who says it has to be! I’m excited to see where you work and anyway you promised!” You tease, poking him in the arm as he starts the car. “I know, I know… I just---I don’t want you to be disappointed. I bet you thought I was some rich old hotshot before, huh?” Seungcheol shoots you a glance, smiling gently.

“Mmm.. not really.”

“No? You didn’t think I was some lonely CEO with loads of money with a thing for camgirls?”

You laugh at his response, placing your hand over his on the gear shift.

“Nah, if there’s anything I thought about you, it was that you were way too nice to be on some camming website.”

The two of you have idle conversation as Seungcheol takes his time to drive to the roller rink. In all honesty, he was a little nervous himself, although he’d never say it to your face.

“Oh my god, is that it?! It’s so cute!”

He parks close to the entrance, turning the car off as he jogs over to your side to help you out. “‘Cheol, you know you don’t have to be so sweet~” You pout, latching onto his arm as he locks the car.

“Oh but I do. You deserve to be spoiled once in a while!”

A blush coats your cheeks yet again, shy eyes fixated on the floor as he walks you towards the entrance. “Yeah, but all you ever do is spoil me… That sybian was no joke and my god, Seungcheol, the price! I almost had half a mind to return it…” You end in a mumble. Seungcheol laughs, opening the door for you as you unlatch from his arm and step in first.

“You’re worth spoiling. Now stop worrying, okay? I promise I’m not up to anything illegal in order to afford your gifts.” Giggling, you lean up to kiss him on the cheek, nodding firmly.

“Fiiiiine, I trust you, y’know?”

“I know, baby. I trust you too, now let’s go meet my best friend who’s going to play butler for you today.”

He leads you over to the concession stand where an equally tall yet bored male stands. “Hey, Jeongguk!” The said male looks up from his phone, eyebrow quirking when the two of you walk up. “Uh, hey Seungcheol-hyung…” Seungcheol feels a weird tenseness fall over the three of you, clearing his throat to get Jeongguk’s attention when he finds the younger male staring.

“Um, this is my friend. She’s---uh, she’s gonna be hanging out here for the rest of the day. I promised her that you’d give her free food, so uh, just--just let me know how much it is so I can tell Namjoon to take it out of my paycheck.” Jeongguk grins, a sly look in his eyes when he finally meets Seungcheol’s concerned eyes.

“Sure! Can I talk to you over there? It’s about our paychecks actually.” Jeongguk turns to you, leaning over the counter. “Sorry, employee only info, ch--uuuuuh, you know the deal.”

“Yeah, of course!”

Jeongguk points off to the side, gesturing to Seungcheol who follows suit.

The younger male makes sure they’re a safe distance away, watching as you pluck your phone out of your purse before he starts talking in harsh whispers. “What the fuck, dude!? You’re---no, you’re not fucking Cherry. She doesn’t have a boyfriend so what the fuck?”

The blood drains from Seungcheol’s face; the feeling in his fingers going numb as his throat goes dry. “Wuh--what? What are you---what are you talking about?” Jeongguk scoffs, eyes rolling jokingly.

“So, hyung, how do you know her?”

“You’re asking me?! How do you know her!?” Seungcheol’s eye twitches just as Jeongguk shoots him an incredulous look, arms crossed in mock annoyance. “I’m a horny boy, what can I say.”

“Please do not ever use those words to describe yourself again.”

The younger male stands in silence, nodding in thought.  

“Fuck, wow, I should’ve noticed. All those extra shifts you were taking, the reason why you could never come hang… You don’t like working here as much as Yoongi-hyung but you--holy---holy shit, wait--you… you can’t be…”

Fuck, here it comes.

“You’re fucking ‘dom.cheol’ aren’t you? You’re the one always leaving her insane fuckin’ donations all the time… and the gifts.. Oh my god. The ‘cheol’ was from Seungcheol, I should’ve known...”

Seungcheol dies a million deaths inside his head; the ringing in his ears becoming unbearable while Jeongguk stares at him in mild disbelief. “It all clocks out, holy fuck. No wonder you were so fucking eager to pick up so many extra shifts…” Seungcheol’s mouth opens and closes a few times, unsure what to say.

“I mean, fuck hyung, I--I’m kind of impressed but wow. You think you know a guy, huh?” Jeongguk laughs, patting the older male on the shoulder. “She’s only one of the hottest camgirls out there right now. You’re a lucky man, hyung.”

A weird possessiveness washes over Seungcheol, hands gently balling up into fists at his side. “Okay, well, she… she’s just here to chill, alright? Don’t do anything weird. And most of all, don’t say anything weird either.” The younger male nods, already walking back to where you were standing.

“Hey, sorry, hyung’s paycheck is gonna be pretty sad next week and I had to let him down gently. Anyway, I’m Jeongguk. You are?”

You give him a fake name; shaking his hand over the counter as he grins at you.

“It’s my pleasure.”

You spend the first two hours on the floor skating; catching Seungcheol’s eyes on you from time to time as he sits nearby cleaning skates. The place seemed pretty empty, which was something that Seungcheol was immensely glad for.

Eventually you skate off out of the rink, making your way to Seungcheol who smiles at you when you come sit next to him. “Told you. Bored already, huh?” The two of you share a laugh, watching as the few other people continue to skate around the rink.

“I mean… it’s different! Right about now I’d usually be six episodes into a new series or something… It’s nice to be somewhere else and doing something different.”

He nods in return, slightly pouting when he turns to face you. “I hate that you have to go home tonight.” You mirror his sentiments, lips quirking into a sad smile.

“I know… I don’t wanna go home…”

Seungcheol bites the inside of his cheek, eyes flitting over to Jeongguk. “Hey, maybe we can bail a little early. This place is pretty dead anyway, and I--I can have Jeongguk clock me out when he leaves. My shift is supposed to end at 3PM and it’s noon now so… We can leave in a hour? Maybe get a late lunch?”

“Seungcheol… I don’t want you to get in trouble…” You mumble, brows furrowing in concern. “Really, it’s okay! We can just hang here ‘til then and still have time to get dinner!” He sighs, knowing you were right. Now was not the right time to be testing the waters with Jeongguk and Namjoon.

“Okay, okay, you win, baby.”

It takes 45 minutes.

45 minutes and a free drink from the concession stand before your mind starts wandering.

You watch Seungcheol converse with Jeongguk behind the concession stand; his cute laugh sending you into orbit when your eyes meet and you can’t stop the thrums of lust pouring over your body when a certain idea pops into your head.

Seungcheol turns his attention back to the younger male and you quickly start to unlace your skates and put your normal shoes back on before Seungcheol’s entire break gets taken up. 

You walk up to the two; Seungcheol cleaning off his hands before he exits from behind the counter.

“Seungcheol…” You softly call out; a look of concern crossing his features when he stops in front of you. “Hey, is everything okay?”

“Yeah, mmhmm! I just--I need to talk to you, if that’s okay?” Jeongguk already turns to leave, wiggling his eyebrows at you.

You drag Seungcheol away, tugging him towards an even emptier part of the roller rink as the concern builds up inside of him. “I have an idea.” He feels himself gulp, already anticipating what you have to say.

“And…?”

“Well… It’s… It won’t t-take long I don’t think, just… hear me out?” You question gently, head tilting cutely up at Seungcheol who already knows he can’t say no to you. “Okay, shoot.”

“Wh--what if we… film a small POV v-video… like, not a live one! Just a small upload on my channel to test the waters maybe? I just---you don’t have to say anything and--and it’ll be quick, and--and like, nothing major just a little, um, f-fingering and--oh my god, sorry, I shouldn’t have a-asked, that’s just---I’m s-sorry I was thinking about it and it kinda got to me and I’m---I’m kinda already wet just thinking about it and--”

“No, let’s… let’s do it. To be fair, people seem to like risqué public things like that right?” A crimson blush falls on Seungcheol’s cheeks as he turns the tables, wrapping a hand around your wrist as he walks you to the employee restroom. “It’s… there shouldn’t be anyone in here so we should be safe.” He mutters, checking to make sure before he ushers you inside and locks the door behind him.

“I don’t know what to do so you’ll have to guide me a little here, baby.”

You nod, pulling your phone out and opening the camera app. Scrolling, you put it in video mode, clicking the red button before passing it to Seungcheol. “I’ve never done it either but I’m sure I can just… crop it and I m-mean it’s meant to be a little shoddy, right?” You giggle nervously, body already on fire when Seungcheol makes the camera face you. “You don’t have to say anything if you’re not comfortable with your voice being in the video, I just need… this.”

You reach for his free hand, playing with it as you run your fingertips across the veins. “I’m sorry, daddy… I just… I couldn’t help but think about your fingers inside my tight pussy...” Seungcheol almost loses his grip on your phone; palm clammy when he watches as you bring his hand underneath your short dress.

“Please… please, won’t daddy fuck me with his fingers? I promise I’ll be good for the rest of the day if he lets me cum on his fingers…” You whine.

Seungcheol isn’t ready to have his voice heard yet, so he nods, fingers twitching in your hold.

You take this as an okay to continue, dragging his hand up until his knuckles graze your panties. “O-oh, fuck…”

This time Seungcheol takes the lead; his own body ablaze when he can already feel your wetness soaking through your panties. He presses into it, digging his fingers into the wet material until it sticks to you like a second skin. “D-daddy, please, please, put them inside, I need it!!” You mewl, trying to keep your voice down as much as possible while still being audible enough on camera.

He shoots you a look; one that tells you to hike your dress up until your soaking panties are seen through the camera lens. And you easily follow, holding your dress up as Seungcheol drops to his knees, angling the camera upwards until only his fingers and your clothed pussy are in view. You spread your legs a little more, back resting on the wall behind you.

“Please, I can’t wait any longer…”

He gulps once, saying a prayer before he slowly pushes your panties to the side. And you all but lose any semblance of sanity the second he runs his fingertips through your wetness, pussy clenching around emptiness. “Fuck--fuck me, please!”

Once Seungcheol deems his fingers wet enough, his eyes meet yours, asking for silent consent before he makes any further moves. You nod frantically, fingers gripping the material of your dress tightly.

Seungcheol bites his lip the second he starts sinking his first finger into your tight warmth; already feeling the drool pooling in his mouth when you moan loudly. He starts a slow pace, mentally noting just how obscenely wet you are when he drags his finger out slowly. “Ngh, daddy m-more, please, I can take it, I wanna be f-full~” He gives it a few more thrusts of his index finger before he adds his middle finger; this time slowly sinking both digits into your pussy as you whimper above him.

His eyes flit up, mesmerized when he sees your face contort in bliss. “O-oh my god, I’m--I’m already so close… Daddy’s fingers are so much bigger and thicker than mine, it fuh--feels so good…” You mutter; squirming when Seungcheol doesn’t move.

And it takes him a second; too fixated on the way your tight walls only seem to suck his fingers in deeper.

But he starts a moderate pace, scissoring and curling his fingers inside of you until you’re reduced to whines and soft breathy moans.

He can already feel you getting tighter around his fingers after a few more minutes; doubling his pace when you start to beg.

“Oh my god, oh my god, ‘m so close, fuck! P-please touch my clit, daddy, please make m-me c--cum!”

Seungcheol feels his cock throbbing in his pants but he focuses on you, thumb immediately on your clit as he rubs harsh and quick circles on the swollen nub. He doesn’t know how much time has passed or if his break is over, but the look of absolute pleasure on your face is enough to make him not care.

He curls his fingers into your g-spot, holding them still as he continuously rubs your clit until you’re cumming; thighs shaking as you let out shaky breaths above him.

“Oh m-my god, daddy!” You mumble in a hurried frenzy, thighs clamping around his hand between your legs as the pleasure washes over you.

Seungcheol lets you ride out your high, gently wiggling his fingers inside of you as he starts to slow down.

“Mmh… Seungcheol…”

Oh fuck.

He definitely liked it when you moaned his name. 

“Y-yes…?” It’s his cue to turn off the camera, shaky finger pressing the ‘stop’ button. He gently slides his fingers out of you, muttering an apology when you wince.

“You don’t have to say sorry! It’s just… ‘m sensitive…” You mewl, already missing the feeling of his fingers inside of you. “Y-yeah, of course! I, um, I hope that was okay? I’ll give you a second to get cleaned up, I’ll uh, run and get you some water.”

You nod in response, thanking him before he quickly washes off his hands and bolts out of the restroom; ears and cheeks redder than a tomato.

Once you’re alone, you quickly open your camera roll, clicking on the video as you hurriedly crop out the beginning and end, making sure that the short video didn’t have any incriminating details before you open up your camming homepage.

There’s a moment of unsureness that makes you pause. You bite the inside of your cheek, weighing the potential outcomes of posting this to your page. 

But before you can change your mind, you quickly start the upload; adding a title and a short description before you lock your phone to let it process.

In the meantime, you get cleaned up, checking your appearance in the mirror once before picking up your phone again. Unlocking it, you find the upload has finished and you exhale sharply, publishing the video before locking the device again.

You move to exit the restroom, already finding Seungcheol holding a bottle of water on the other side.

“Oh, there you are! Everything okay?”

“Mmhmm! I uploaded the video before I could change my mind so I’m a little nervous…” You trail off, accepting the bottle that Seungcheol passes you.

“Well, the good news is, we’re bailing, now. I told ‘Guk to clock me out so we should get out of here so I can get your mind off of that.”

He shoots you a genuine smile, offering his hand which you take.

“Let’s fuckin’ get some ice cream, I think we deserve it.”

Seungcheol takes you on a scenic drive, taking you to an ice cream shop further away from town.

The two of you sit down in a booth towards the back of the shop and he helps clear your head, talking about various topics to keep your mind off of the huge risk you’d just taken.

“Anyway, that’s one of the reasons why I’m never bar-hopping with ‘Guk again. He’s got no limit, nobody can keep up and nobody wants to keep paying the uber fees.” You laugh as Seungcheol finishes his story, taking a sip of your milkshake.

You can’t help but sigh after a few seconds, pouting at Seungcheol who blinks questioningly at you. “‘Cheollie, I don’t wanna go home…” He stares back, unsure of what to say. A million different thoughts run through his mind in the split second before he opens his mouth.

“Why don’t you stay with me for a couple more days?”

Seungcheol doesn’t understand the gravity of his words until they spill out of his mouth; a panicked look on his face when you go completely silent in the seat across from him. “I m-mean, uh, I mean, like, fuck. I’m sorry, that must’ve been way too out of bounds. I just---it’s just, you don’t want to go home and---and I can take care of you while you’re here! Even if it’s just a couple days. I can help you film too!” He curses himself for rambling; immediately shutting himself up.

“I--I don’t want to bother you, ‘Cheol… That’s really too kind of you…” A shy blush coats your skin; chewing on your bottom lip when you shyly avoid his gaze. “A-and my filming stuff is back home too… I brought a few toys with me so I could film my weekend shows but--but my camera…”

“I can ask Jeongguk!”

You shoot him a bewildered look, brow quirking. “He--he streams sometimes too, like, video games ‘n shit. He actually offered me his extra equipment a while back, if I ever wanted to get into it myself. I can ask to borrow it, if you want?”

You drink in his words, unsure. The thought of staying with Cheol might’ve danced across your mind a handful of times, but now that the offer was on the table, you weren’t sure how to respond.

You trusted Seungcheol, and you knew by now that he would never do anything to hurt or betray you. But this was a far leap from how things were the last time you’d seen him.

“Listen, I can see the cogs in your head turning, baby. You don’t have to if you don’t want to, I’m not forcing your hand into anything you don’t want. But I know you’ve been wanting to get out a ‘lil more and… well, in truth, I think it’d be nice for both of us? I can take care of you while you’re here with me and we can keep each other company.” He pauses, smiling at you from across the booth. “But I can also take you back to your hotel room and let you pack so you don’t get home too late.”

“‘Cheol I trust you.. It’s just that… I’m s-scared…”

“Scared? Of what, baby?”

The warmth blooms inside of you; shy eyes meeting his.

“Scared that I’m not gonna wanna go home…”

Seungcheol takes it easy for the rest of the day and doesn’t make an effort to get an answer out of you. He takes you around the city, tugging you into shops he thinks you’d like and walking around with you aimlessly until the sun goes down.

But time seems to go even faster once he takes you to dinner; a sigh on his lips when he knows he has to bring the topic back up.

“I hate to ask but… I have to take you back to your hotel after this so…” Seungcheol trails off, leaving it open-ended for you.

“I know… I just want to know… Why do you like me so much?”

The question takes Seungcheol by surprise; eyes wide as saucers. “I--I’m sorry I don’t follow?” You chuckle under your breath, tucking a strand of hair behind your ear.

“It’s just… we were strangers, kind of, before Friday, you know what I mean? And now you’re offering your place to me to just… crash at for a few days? What if I rob you blind? Or what--what if you try something with me that I don’t like?” You suddenly start catastrophizing; mind going a mile a minute with potential outcomes.

“Hey, whoa, whoa, wait. Calm down, sweetheart. It’s okay! Breathe!” You let out a shaky exhale, groaning as you hide your face in your palms. “God, ‘Cheol, ‘m sorry, I--I really want to stay with you for a few days. It’s just that my brain is going light speed and I can’t keep up. I really like you too, you’ve been nothing but kind and sweet and you’re so handsome, it’s just so crazy to me...” Your words are slightly muffled but Seungcheol catches it, a soft chuckle on his lips when he leans his head on his palm.

“I’ll sleep on the sofa and leave you alone. You can take the bed. Hell, you can even rob me blind and I’d say thank you.”

He reaches his free hand over, fingers circling your wrist as he pulls your hand down. “And I’m offering you my place because I like you as you. You’re cute and funny, and so fuckin’ humble. And I want to get to know you better. In person, y’know?”

“Y-yeah… I wanna get to know you better too. And it’s only a couple days right?”

“Right.”

Seungcheol drives you back to your hotel, a smile on his face when he sees you in better spirits.

He parks his car in front, turning to face you. “So I’ll just wait here while you grab your things and check out, okay? I’ll contact ‘Guk to see if I can swing by and take that extra equipment he offered.”

This time you nod cheerily, body buzzing with excitement as you hurriedly step out of his car. “I’ll be quick!”

He gives it a moment before he picks his phone up, taking a deep breath before typing out a message to the younger male.

‘Hey, ‘Guk I have a favour. Get back to me asap if u can.’

Jeon 🥴 : bold of u to msg me…

Confusion crosses Seungcheol’s features; fingers hovering over the keyboard. ‘What are you talking about?’

Jeongguk takes a second to send a screenshot, Seungcheol’s cheeks burning a crimson colour when he sees the content.

Jeon 🥴: it’s the employee restroom for me.

Jeon 🥴: bruh it’s also the fuckin way i knew it was u before i even played the video… fuck man is that why u too so long on ur break? u do kno u went over right, I clocked it cuz i was expecting u to come back sooner

Jeon 🥴: for the rec im not mad, actually im impressed just cant believe this is u

Seungcheol ignores Jeongguk’s messages, instead opening the screenshot again and re-reading the video title.

‘I was so needy… 🥺 so I asked daddy to finger me in public…’

Jeon 🥴: bitch i kno ur reading this im dropping the hyung bc u kept this from me!!

Jeon 🥴: after i even offered u my extra camming stuff u were already doing it behind my back…

Seungcheol rolls his eyes at the younger male’s dramatic nature, fingers quickly swiping across the keyboard.

‘Alright, I’m sorry okay? I just didn’t think my online habits needed to be public knowledge and for the record, that was the first time I’ve ever done anything like that. I promise no more secrets, unless absolutely necessary. And also speaking of that extra equipment, can I swing by and grab it from your place?’

Jeon 🥴: r u gonna cam now? u got one sip of the devils juice and now ur all in?

‘Would u stop being dramatic oh my god. It’s not for me, it’s for ‘cherry’. She’s going to be staying with me for a few days and I fully expect you to keep your mouth shut on this.’

Seungcheol grimaces when he calls you by your online handle; already feeling unfamiliar with it.

Jeon 🥴: o i c. sure, u can come pick it up, simp. I’ll make sure she’s got all the necessary things before u get here and u owe me one!! i fully expect u to come stream with me at least once for keeping ur secrets 

‘It’s a deal. I’ll be there in an hour and a half.’

A sigh escapes Seungcheol’s lips, his eyes dancing over to your figure that skips towards the car. He locks his phone just as you tap on the glass, popping the trunk before he steps out.

“How’d it go? All checked out?”

“Mmhmm! Did you get in contact with Jeongguk? What’d he say?”

A nervous laugh spills from his lips as he puts your small luggage in the trunk, slamming it shut before rounding the car to open your door. “I’ll help you get settled in at my place and then I’ll drive over really quick and grab the stuff from his place.”

You hop in his car, fiddling with the seatbelt until Seungcheol slides into the driver’s seat.

“He didn’t ask what you needed it for?” Gulp. Shit.

“I just told him that I was thinking about streaming, for--for gaming stuff. He was okay with it.”

He’d tell you the truth. Soon, he promises.

No. Now.

Seungcheol sighs, hands on the wheel as he stares straight ahead. “No, no, I--I can’t sit here and lie to you. Jeongguk knows you. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you earlier, I told him to keep his mouth shut because I didn’t want him to bother you while we were at the roller rink.”

“I--oh…”

He can only nod; eyes dancing over to you as you play with the hem of your dress. “Yeah, I--I’m really sorry. He--He also found out I was ‘dom.cheol’ too and, fuck, I--I don’t know, I kind of panicked too. I hid that part of me from everyone I know so it was just… it was a lot.”

You meet his sad eyes, shooting him a small smile of your own. “It’s okay! It’s a little funny that happens right after that ‘kitty_junjun’ says he saw me in person too, huh? I mean, thanks for trying to protect me at least. It must’ve been weird for you too.”

“Yeah… If you’re not comfortable anymore, I… I’d understand too.” Seungcheol prepares himself for the worst, knowing that there was a chance that this was goodbye.

“Are you kidding! What’s one person gonna do? And you said he’s your best friend and you trust him… I’ll have to take a leap of faith on that one but… I trust you.”

You lean over the center console, kissing him on the cheek. “And anyway, as long as he’s not one of those weirdos asking for ‘favours’, I think we’re in the clear, right?”

Seungcheol grimaces; as long as it’s from me and not you, he thinks.

[mattressdemon]

bitching about narrative design in bioware games part 2

to summarize part 1 quickly, i bitched a bit about how bioware wrote some characters and designed some parts of the narrative of baldurs gate 1 and 2. they killed the only black woman in the og bg games for a (supposedly) white man’s pain (minsc) and then offered a replacement in the form of a white woman (aerie).

while complaining about bg1 and 2 could stand all on its own, the reason i wanted to talk about those things in particular is to highlight the way bioware writes and designs characters and stories in their later titles, like mass effect, but especially dragon age. i do particularly pick on the writing of david gaider and lukas kristjanson and a little bit on patrick weekes, but this is not meant to be a personal jab at any of them or say anything about their character or beliefs.

overall i think a lot of the way bioware frames certain characters and manipulates the dialogue of certain characters is really more questionable than allowing for actual critical thought. the best examples of my issues with this are cullen, aveline, fenris, dorian and sera. also a special shout out for jacob from mass effect. you might notice that ive now named four characters that lukas kristjanson wrote for; minsc, aveline, sera, and jacob. that doesnt mean i dislike how he writes all of his characters: i actually really enjoy carver and joker, for example.

my issues with the way he wrote these characters directly relates to over-utilization of stereotypes, writing dialogue that sometimes sounds bizarrely out of character, and combine both of those with poor levels of representation in all of the bioware titles.

aveline, while a very enjoyable character (imho) says things that i think directly contrast how she actually thinks and feels in game. she makes many degrading and insulting comments directly at isabela (who was confirmed as a black woman by gaider) about her sexuality and i feel like its honestly really uncharacteristic of her, given how often she finds herself agreeing with a pro-mage hawke throughout the story and how strongly she feels about the real protection and care of people. this is an issue for multiple reasons:

1. isabela is only one of two black female companions in the dragon age franchise, and she does not even have black facial features (she looks pretty european to me, leaving vivienne as the only black woman in the series with black facial features). contrast that to 12 white female companions throughout dragon age including DLCS, and three white female temporary companions (not including merrill, as i already counted her).

2. isabela is expressive and open with her sexuality in a way only one other female character is, and morrigan isn’t even near to the degree that isabela is. also, isabela is bisexual, and the narrative plays hard against characters that are bisexual/pansexual and simultaneously considered slutty (they have one each game! zevran, isabela, iron bull).

3. isabela is a swashbuckler/rogue with a spotty history irt loyalty, again reinforcing stereotypes of characters that are bisexual or bipoc being untrustworthy or of dubious morality.

and none of this would have mattered if there were more black and bisexual/pansexual characters in the series. weekes’ comment about not wanting to make solas black and bisexual because he didnt want to fall into a stereotype? null and void if there were more black and/or bisexual characters in the franchise. representation matters.

i love fenris too! and you know what i hate? people writing GOTCHA dialogue that doesnt even fit a character just to push a devils advocate agenda.

the conversation in question is between fenris and anders in act 2.

fenris: there, your magic would be a mark of honor. apprenticed to the right magister, you would do well.

anders: so they all do those things?

fenris: just the ones who don’t complain about how powerless and persecuted they are.

“just the ones who dont complain about how powerless and persecuted they are” shut the fuck up. why would this come out of fenris’ mouth at all, ever? bruh gaider wrote his storyline, he knows this doesnt make sense. he has to. doesnt he???

and i feel like da2, but especially inquisition, does this a lot. they shove a lot of dialogue into the game that kinda gives you a GOTCHA sorta vibe, like they’re just tryin to snag the inquisitor on bs.

this happens with dorian in inquisition too. if you play a dalish elf inquisitor, theres an entire conversation with him about slavery in tevinter. while the game spends the entire narrative effectively shitting on a dalish inquisitor for being proud of their dalish culture and heritage, dorian is often praised by the narrative for being nationalistic and proud of tevinter’s culture and history. in the conversation, it feels more like dorian is talking at the inquisitor rather than having a thoughtful and engaging discussion about slavery and why his perspective on it might be different. i dont have screencaps off hand atm, but it’s right there in the game, if you have a copy, go play it.

in contrast, in dragon age origins, you can have a conversation with leliana with a dalish warden wherein she says some hurtful things about dalish elves, things that are typically associated with real life stereotypes about indigenous people, like them being “savage” “brutish” or “lazy”. and by the end of the conversation, no matter what you say or do, she apologizes. she says she was wrong to say those things, and she’s sorry, and she won’t do it again. that’s an effective dialogue about serious issues in a video game!!!! not whatever bullshit that dorian conversation was.

and last but not least: sera and jacob. sera is a great character, and yet, she is the only companion who you can actively dismiss / rudely ask her to leave the inquisition throughout the entire game and in every single conversation. the narrative frames this 20 year old (she is YOUNG!!!! who ISNT annoying sometimes when they’re young???) lesbian as an irritant, and most people walk away from inquisition disliking sera. consistently ppl shit on sera throughout the game, and the narrative itself likes to make her an enemy to the inquisitor, make it feel/seem wrong that she constantly questions authority, when so many other characters are shown in a positive light for doing and saying the exact same shit she does. this is part of a larger issue bioware has in general with writing elven women in dragon age (see also the framing of merrill in da2 and velanna in the expansion for origins, awakening).

do i even have to start on jacob? black man with a heart of gold and a deadbeat, creepy, abusive father? then he “cheats” on shepard in mass effect 3 and the narrative gives you the option to punch him? he didn’t even know if shepard was going to be released from custody!!! he knew the reapers were coming and he didn’t know if he would ever see her again!!!! of course some people will feel his actions were a betrayal, but its all ignorant of the circumstances he was in. its not no two years thought dead thing that everyone is okay with excusing (virmire romance), but it’s certainly fucking close.

tl;dr: i hate how bioware frames characters and designs narratives sometimes. if someone ever reads this that works at bioware: please hire more bipoc and queer designers.

[papers4me]

Fruits Basket, Se3, ep 12 (Part 1)

The aftermath of the curse lifting~ Btw, the timeline is super messy. Flashbacks & background stories aren’t this anime’s best tool, it’s always felt messy when they attempt that. more on it in my side notes below. Now into the ep~

-Yuki & Machi: ( Blossoming Love!):

I love that the author attempted different direction of romantic love with yuki/machi that suits yuki’s personality! Opposite to kyo/tohru who had the (from best friends to lovers/ from roommates of 3 years to lovers). Yuki & machi’s love is based on natural crush & while she isnt his best friend, she’ll be his lover & they’ll know each other after dating. Both types of love are realistic & have their own path of dynamics, which is clear with how yuki/machi will be interacting & how kyo/tohru are now interacting since becoming official. I’m still bummed most of yuki/machi’s “noticing each other” is supposed to be off-screen, it robbed me of seeing yuki interact in a normal teenage-boy crushing on a girl which contrasts his relationship with kakeru, kyo, haru & tohru. Now, we’ll start the “ official-boyfriend yuki” stage! Also, this jump to confessions didnt help machi have any uniqueness beside being saved by yuki’s words from her trauma. watching her interact with him normally would’ve added realistic depth to her being a normal girl with unique cute quirks differently from tohru, Isuzu, kagura or even motoko!. Oh well~ moving on & focusing on the meaningful cute confession. I loved that altho there were a hug & a kiss, it didn’t have “ I love you” statement. You know they (will) love each other so dearly, but they’re in stage 1 now, she just called him by his first name for the first time! cute! I love that the emphasis is on the “ first name” calling since this is a huge key to yuki’s identity & struggle. Also, It is cute she bought a gift to tohru! This is a set-up to a healthy relationship with yuki since she isn’t jealous from a precious woman in his life that isnt related by blood.

-Moving towards the future: Kyoru’s final stage of growth!

By Kyokoy’s grave Kyo & tohru had key moment of growth & healthy closure to their core character issues::

1- Kyo’s toxic habit of running from life became a desire to run towards life!: While this habit is rightfully excused by his trauma, it needed to be addressed once his curse broke. We know he stopped running & faced his dad, confessed to tohru, accepted her love, embraced his crazy desire for her & accepted he deserved to be loved! Even ran towards tohru, chasing her! However, all the above is him running to the good current life in his grasp. He needs to run to the far away future this time! Needs to plan for the good & accept that the bad is part of it. struggling is part of life & he’ll endure it together with her, while enjoying life’s rewards.

I love that kyo is the one who suggested moving out to another city/place, cuz kyo was the one NOT living. He was long dead & trapped in the cage of his guilt & self-loath. Tohru at least was living thro helping others ( which is not real living but at least it’s better). Kyo was “ Mom, why didn’t you kill me instead of yourself?” ,“ I’ll kill yuki & then kill myself, would that please you, dad?!”, “ I cant forgive me, I dont want you to forgive me, tohru”. Walking on a road of self-destruction & slow death. But now, with tohru he wants life!!! all of it!! travel, learn, see, struggle, fail, succeed, build their own future by themselves.

I love that kyo didnt take tohru’s approval for his plans for granted. He really didnt think she’ll accept right away. He didnt even want her to dedice quickly, He was prepared for compromising to a better solution for them both. They’ll work other possibilities “ if i’m gonna live in this world, I want to do it with you”.

I love that kyo was real abt the obstacles ahead & didnt want tohru to just follow him based on love. He wanted her to decide on her own as well. He also, left the door open for her to change her mind anytime & this screams support & understanding!! Very powerful!.

2- Thoru’s toxic habit of being ashamed to desire anything for herself, living for others & wearing a happy “i’m okay” mask while concealing her true feelings became confidence, self-clarity & honesty: The tohru who was smiling while concealing grief on the beach is gone, the tohru who kyo had to coax her to “complain, be selfish” se01,ep5, to “not hide worrying over a relative’s sickness” se02, ep14 “ cry if she needs to” se3, ep6, is now telling kyo her honest opinion abt his proposal, while thinking of her own self as much as him & even objecting to his sentiment abt her mom’s words!!!!

I love that tohru is now a confident free woman making her own decisions based on self-honesty & communication with her partner. She wasn't just “okay” with it cuz he wants it while putting fake smile, No more of that. Now, she’ll say her true feelings, she asked him abt his plans, tried to see if it is a spur of the moment decision or if he really thought abt it. She also inquired where’s heading, who he talked to, what he’s planning! She is deciding for herself after hearing him! ok, this is your plan? I like it. I’m going!  Very powerful!.

I love that like how kyo was realistic abt the plan having some difficulties due to starting away by themselves, she was also realistic that it is indeed sad to part with my friends, my hometown, & my mom’s resting-place, but i’ll choose ME now. “I” want to go with you for “me”. This is not a bind I’ll follow you wherever love story, this is realistic depiction of healthy relationship. Acknowledging hardships & accepting them saves you from being crushed by failure, you’ll endure it when it eventually happens & move on, cuz God knows we DO fail & succeed! Life isnt smooth sailing~ 

I love that tohru complemented him on his plan cuz she could see that is a sign of growth. If she’s gonna share her life with this man, it is delightful to see that he is thinking of a happier, healthier & realistic future! Cuz kyo was this destroyed man~ so destroyed he was pushing her away despite loving her dearly, now, he’s asking her opinion & permission to accompany him!

I love that tohru made sure to touch upon kyo’s last scar “ my mom doesnt hate you” This is a scar that wont go away even if kyo is mentally healthy. Cuz death is the ultimate truth. He can never hear kyoko’s affirming her love for him, he’ll have to trust in it based on their earlier interaction together. Tohru is powerfully & stubbornly taking away most of his pain by affirming her acknowledge of her mom. You might disagree kyo, you might still feel a bit guilty, it might haunt you sometimes. but me? NO. Never. Mom loved you. She meant ONLY good. Hopefully my determination heals you bit by bit, & it DOES. Kyo stands bravely, confidently & happily in front of kyoko’s grave & instead of saying “ i apologize for hurting you, or tohru, I’m sorry, forgive me”.  he tells her he’ll keep their promise & protect tohru for life! he literally proposed there in front of her mom & all. T_T

-Kyoko’s Words: ( Sometimes, you don’t get to know the whole truth & that’s okay):

Can’t describe how much I love this part. This is the most painful yet important lesson in furuba. Life isn’t a movie where the entire truth is exposed to the characters or the audience. Sometimes you live & die without getting to know an important truth, hearing a much needed confirmation, or getting a loved one’s forgiveness. There are things in our life that we just can’t get back no matter how much we tried. What we do, then? die? despair? throw away what we DO have in our hands for this lost truth no matter how important it was to us? No, we do the only thing we can. Live. Not just go thro life’s motion, but really live. Accept the good & the bad. This is so goddamn easy & difficult as hell too!

-Kyo not knowing kyoko’s words at that time was tragic. It was so tragic it sent kyo into a suicidal descent into the abyss. The wounds of his mom’s death that were slowly healing with kazuma’s care got re-opened & poured blood! The old destructive habits became full force, The toxic coping habits returned with its ugliness. I can’t kill myself literally? I’ll do it figuratively. trapped, caged, destroyed, eyes shut, ears closed, only seeing his pain. Kyo is us. All of us in any moment of true crushing despair. He could never bring the dead back, hear their loving words or ask forgiveness. Thro kyo, the author is telling us... I know. You had your moment of lost truth, didn’t you? I know. IT IS OKAY. live, my child. your pain is valid, let it take its course, but afterwards live bravely.

-Kyo’s path towards healing is: the ugliest cuz it hurt tohru of all ppl, the longest cuz he was the last one to move on, the bloodiest cuz he’ll never have the ppl he lost, the rockiest cuz he failed & failed, the most frustrating cuz he repeated his mistakes over & over, He couldnt even do it alone. needed intervention & support. He lost hope. completely. But it is okay even if you fell as deep as kyo: stand up. even if you never learned the truth: let go. even if you were the last one to learn or heal: it isn’t a race. Embrace life with its good & bad & continue as kyoko said “ you fought well”

-Kyoko’s parting plea to her daughter broke my heart into pieces. Death is ugly, but death is a truth that we can’t escape. The leaving ones is hurting as much as the ones left behind, but hopefully, the leaving ones will find a happiness a kin to the ones left behind. yuki’s "say a prayer & move one, one step at a time” is all you can do.

-Kyoko was: a gangster who hurt others (ugly path), repented, married & had a daughter (fulfilling path), widowed & left her daughter while grieving (ugly path), came back, repented & tried to raise tohru well, love her enough! (fulfilling path), died & left her young high school daughter all alone (heartbreaking path) but she accepted that the last path isn’t sth she can fight, prayed, & accepted her fate~

-Kyoko~~ “ you fought well”  while you were alive~ you really did! The Tohru you left behind helped a whole clan & hopefully readers as well! you tohru is loved by an entire generation of readers & anime watchers. Tohru is so precious & I can’t stop crying~

Side Notes:

Timeline is super messy & confusing. (a) Tohru’s hospital discharge, kyoru’s hug & curse break for everybody all happened at the (late) afternoon. While curse was breaking, akito was wearing her white kimono & she cried until tohru hugged her on sunset. (b) Before tohru’s hospital shigure’s face was scar-less. we first saw the scar in the afternoon & he was wearing his kimono.

Now the flashback, Akito wearing her outfit from her talk with the maid (which also happened while kyo was talking to his dad which is on the same day) & shigure wearing suit & it’s sunset time??????? How can the sunset happen before the curse break on the afternoon? She inflected the scars on the sunset, how did he have them on the afternoon of the same day?? both changed outfits which is even weirder??? Someone help me put things on order. Or is order not important? If the sequence of events isn’t important, then, why did it have to happen on the curse break day??? Shigure could’ve had his scars a day or two before tohru’s discharge.

Also the OP started in the middle of yuki’s scene which was so odd!

No big deal, but I still feel that yuki’s curse break would’ve been thematically powerful last ep. Especially after seeing The Zodiac Ruler come & collect the spirits. The legend would've been wrapped powerfully on the same ep where it was told. We see the zodiacs’ original story & we see its closure. It would’ve made tohru/akito’s hug more symbolic. An end of an era to akito & to them all. Real Goodbye to the zodiac animals, but now we had a goodbye & a half. lol.

Is yuki the only one seeing the cursed spirit? He looked down at it? I dont remember the others looking down where an animal would be? Is yuki’s curse special? different? He got all the ropes/bonds around him? I really thought yuki’s theme is all abt desiring to be normal & despising the “special” treatment that haunted him even in school. 

Momiji/ kagura /kyo interaction is cute!

Haru/Yuki/ Isuzu interaction is cute as well. XD

Kagura, girl, you used to have best fashion, what’s up with jeans under knee length dress?! lol.

I’ll be honest. It is a lost opportunity that machi weren't made to question how teen-tohru is yuki’s mom. That would’ve solidified her as a unique stand alone character if she were to discuss it with yuki. Tohru being yuki’s mom figure is not normal, otherwise yuki’s entire dilemma of figuring out his feelings for tohru would’ve become meaningless. Having machi quickly “understand” it is a bit weird. But it helps the plot move quickly, I guess. ( it reminds me of Arisa hugging akito when she confessed stabbing kureno without questioning anything, it is weird, but you get the message that “ we aint got time for that~ gotta hop on the next plot).

I love that furuba subverted the old anime-trope of the entire happy cast staying together in one city/place & living exactly like they did in their teens except being married now! XD. It is so realistic that each character is now moving on their path of life~

Tohru wore a ring in her foreshadowing vision! SHE WORE A RING! My baby girl is a grown woman now~ T_T. I love tohru so much!~

Shigure/ akito & the last banquet is in my review part 2. I’ve been editing out any thoughts abt Shigure from my previous posts. I needed to see the whole picture first. I think can now talk abt them, I’m looking forward to the comments of the next part cuz I really really need to see if I understood it or if i’m off.