#i dont mind fanfictions and stuff trying to address it and stuff because people are learning how to write and they're limited in scope

[not-poignant]

im finally sick of my brain being shitty enough to make an appointment with a psychiatrist, but in the meantime i thought i might ask you this: in your wonderful answer to my ask re writer's block you mentioned burnout, which im pretty sure is whats happening to me. i dont want to ask you to give me a long answer if you dont have the energy for it, but i would like to know your thoughts on the matter. its been head empty hours over here 24/7 for months, lol, i miss creating

Helloooo,

I actually have written about burnout quite a bit because I've gone through burnout er, quite a bit... In fact I'm going through it again right now.

I have written a fairly long post about it in the past, so that's there if you want to read it.

I've had different kinds of burnout. I've had 'I couldn't write for years' burnout (literally, after university I just couldn't write anything for years and just assumed it was dead and gone because I didn't want to do it either), I've had burnout that's lasted months (even while like...writing as I am now), and so on.

A lot of dealing with burnout is just...resting more. Taking the pressure off yourself more. Grieving that you can't create right now without guilt-tripping yourself for it, a sort of 'I mourn that I can't do it, but there's nothing wrong with me and I am not failing because I can't do it. I need rest and care.' You can try little writer's block tricks here and there when you want to prod again. You can try other kinds of creativity. I can't write like I used to write, so I tried fanfiction. I can't write like I used to write fanfiction, which is why I've never written another Game Theory, because I just...don't want to write another story like that right now (I mean specifically all the sex every chapter, not the politics lmao). I've been feeling an urge to write poetry lately.

For you, through burnout, low-stakes creativity may help. Stuff that can be automatic (cross-stitch kits, where you're just doing someone else's pattern and don't need to really think about it beyond the stitching), colouring books. Or stuff that's low-stakes for you. For me that's often poetry. For you it might be something else.

I also think of getting through burnout where I can't create anything as needing to 'refill the well.' I catch up on shows I've been missing (writing as much as I do actually gives me no time for reading / watching media), I read books, I watch movies, I listen to new music and comfort music, etc. If my well is empty, rest will partially fill it, but so will inspiration. Watching Studio Ghibli for example almost always makes me think 'I want to write the way this makes me feel' - even if I don't write it, that little urge is like, a pulse or spark of alive-ness that gives the well a drop more inspiration for when I'm ready to write again.

It's very different for everyone though. It's important to address the basics - sleep, medications, quality of life, hydration, being well-fed, health (as much as health is possible) etc. If you're anxious and have insomnia and skip meals and forget to drink water etc. then it's back to square one with just...doing your best there. If that's mostly covered, then burnout is often just about meaningfully resting your mind.

I'd also add that there's different kinds of rest. Physical rest (sleeping / stretching), sensory rest (unplugging from screens and social media and overstimulation), emotional rest (time and space to express your feelings), spiritual rest (connecting with something greater than yourself - going into nature, community, giving, meditation etc.), mental rest (breaks, journalling), creative rest (like the cross-stitch and stuff I mentioned above) and social rest (spending relaxing time with people who love you as you are now).

So it's also worth looking at maybe... you're only focusing on one or two kinds of rest right now. Sometimes burnout requires that you address more of them. <333

There's no easy way through, because rest is the easiest way through, and rest is very hard (and not always possible to the degree we need it) for all of us in this day and age. Be gentle with yourself. I wasn't going to write a post as long as this but actually as someone who needs to hear these things myself right now, maybe you might need to hear some of them as well.

The main thing is burnout doesn't last forever, it's cyclical, it's not like chronic fatigue, or other chronic illnesses. Even people with chronic fatigue (like me!) can experience burnout cycles. So this will pass! You may not feel like writing again in the same way, and that's okay, whatever new version of you evolves out of your current exhaustion, I hope you enjoy that version of yourself, and learn to care for and show compassion to the current version of your tired self as well <3

[xenoblademisadventures]

read the tags on your post about ripping apart xc2 and i gotta say. same dude. i loved the game but that one cutscene on the cliffs of morytha where rex like hallucinated pyra is the worst cutscene ive ever seen. especially when it cuts to the vision of aion and pyra/mythras like "this is our power. as your sure this is what you want" and im just like yeah actually, its a cool fucking robot what reason have you given me not to want it. its not even what mythra used to accidently destroy torna in the prequel that was siren

Yeah. That cutscene actually singlehandedly soured my enjoyment of the game so much that I can't bring myself to play it anymore. This will be fun to elaborate on. Tw: suicide mention.

I truly despise this cutscene entirely due to it brushing off the suicide plot in favor of giving Rex an anime power up.

"The reason we wanted to go to Elysium was to beg our father to let us die."

"Listen, I swore to you, we're going to Elysium. Together."

Like, no. No. Fuck you. The writers above all else. This was the single most important part of Pyra's and Mythra's character arc to get right the they didn't even try. It's been thoroughly established that they want to die because they see themselves as a threat to the world and will inevitably irreparably harm everyone that they love. Mythra is coming from an abusive (or at least, extremely toxic) background where she was both treated as an unwanted burden everyone had to carry around and as a potential ticking time bomb who will kill everyone while being bullied for random shit in between. Pyra is coming from the background of being the face of Mythra's self hatred. Mythra literally already attempted to kill herself by creating Pyra. Rex's piffy nonsense should not have been enough to make her not suicidal.

Here's the problem from a character writing perspective "you have friends who love you" and "my existence is a burden and I will hurt everyone I love" aren't mutually exclusive ideals. And besides the promise to reach Elysium also being the suicide condition, sometimes making commitments isn't enough to stop people from killing themselves and leveraging those commitments over their heads is cold and unhelpful.

I hate how dismissively the writers treated Pyra and Mythra being suicidal when that plot point most mattered.

Alongside that, they chose to establish that Jin is suicidal in a really stupid way. You can't just look at someone in the eyes and ping them as suicidal. People who are suicidal don't flag it like that.

Besides that, Jin would be the second Xenoblade character where they're suicidal and Monolith decides to depict that as being a danger to the people around them. The first being Lao. Lao works better because, first there's an answer for why he doesn't just kill himself and why it had to be everyone else's problem, and second, Elma isn't concerned with Lao's wellbeing and that makes for some interesting scenes. But the larger issue for both of them is that they emphasize how suicide impacts the people who aren't suicidal. They're both depicted as uncontrollable, beautiful, and dangerous. That's not a good.

It's also bad that Pneuma, Lao, and Jin all end their arcs by heroically sacrificing themself (Lao accidentally fell into a vat tube but same difference, the character dies sort of).

Anyways the reason why this part of this scene ruins the entire game for me is that it perpetuates certain stereotypes about suicide that, at best, can make people who know someone who killed themself feel worse and, at worse, push someone further into a suicidal mindset.

Like, Rex just knew the right words to make Pyra and Mythra not suicidal? Imagine if a loved one killed themself and you believed that it was all because you didn't say the elusive magic right words to save them? Imagine if you feel suicidal and you want someone to say something that will drag you out of that mentality but that doesn't happen? Rex leverages his friendship with Pyra and Mythra and that works. Imagine a close friend killed themself. Was it because you just didn't love them hard enough? No. Imagine you are suicidal. Maybe you think you don't have those friends or never will. Maybe you think that you're only making things worse for your existing amazing friends. Both of those conclusions can make things worse.

Stories absolutely should not talk about suicide without having a giant ass content warning. Like, I don't think anyone's going to play Xenoblade 2 and immediately kill themselves for it, but it does reinforce common myths about it that absolutely can make things worse for people.

It doesn't help that this is when the story starts being like "humanity sucks we're philosophical."

There are a lot of other things wrong with that scene and the game as a whole. Despite what I said at the beginning, this scene alone didn't make me hate the game. But it was the final major blow to my ability to enjoy the game. I went from "the game's decent but nowhere near as good as it should be, I want to dissect it" to "fuck at least one of the writers" over time.

[nightswithkookmin]

Does Run ep 119 fall into the period of Jikook's romantic separation/distancing you talked about? By hairstyles I think this is the time you marked as being 'not a couple'? Did I get the timelines right? Please dont get mad, but they seemed especially cozy+close this ep, and not just skinship (I know this is a subjective judgement and dif points of view are allowed). Just curious if you still hold to your theory? We see only tiny snapshots of time. Do you ever retrospectively change your mind?

Me right now. lol

Running away before I give in to the temptation to rumble on for pages. Lol.

Ahhh shit! Too late. lol.

First of all, it's not so much that questions like these irk me...

It's just I've never had to worry about being 'right' or 'wrong' in forming an opinion about anything or on any topic in my life.

I think the night is more beautiful than the day. I think both Trump and Biden are trash- but better Biden than Trump. I think formal education is a damn waste of time and money. I think a lot of things. But I've never had to worry about that I could be right or wrong about them.

I never assume, when I read people's opinions too, that they are right or wrong. I either tend to agree with it or disagree with it or get informed by it if I had zero opinion prior. I find it bizarre when people want to be right and stuff- especially in a community that is nothing but a swirling vortex of thoughts and opinions. Lmho.

You either defend your stand and give evidence to support it but even then we are just all making assumptions.

Also questions like these tend to put me in a position where I feel like if I should respond then I am not only 'defending' my opinions but challenging other's opinions with my opinions and treating my opinions as if they were the facts. But they are not. It's just one opinion against another.

Know what I mean?

I used to be comfortable doing that because I thought it was all friendly debates and discourse until someone drew my attention to it and pointed out to me that when I do that I come across as 'all knowy,' 'presenting my opinions as facts' and 'challenging other's opinions with my opinion'- which y'all are well aware is the case that has launched a thousand hate comments, privacy invasion, doxing, lies and operation boycott Goldy on ship street.

I don't think it's worth it.

Then there is the substantive issue: how these questions are framed. How should I put this...

I never said anywhere that Jikook were broken up during the On era because they were not acting 'cozy'. Who's theory is that? Who said that? I've never peddled the 'Jikook is real because of skinship or their interactions' theory. If anything, I try to distinguish between Jikook's couple moments and their skinship or mere interactions because neither of those two make Jikook real... to me.

If Jikook showing skinship and merely interacting with eachother to you is a determining factor as to whether they are real- it's not, to me. I've made this much clear over the course of my blogs. If it's your metric then it differs from mine and I can't 'challenge' it. Lol.

I have said, Jikook can interact zero in a content and I still could be able to tell if they are a couple.

Similarly, two people can grind on eachother and stick their tongues down eachother's throats and I still will be able to tell they are not a couple within the same group if they are not.

Am I wrong sometimes? Absolutely. Hell, I said JK was going to post for Jimin's birthday. He didn't. I got that wrong.

I do retrospectively change my mind on a lot of things. If say, in the future, Jimin announced he has a kid and is married to a het woman I would backpedal on my theory that Jikook is real. I don't think it's that deep.

If at any one point, I have reason to believe Jikook aren't together any more as a couple within BTS, or that one of them is straight, I would change my opinion about them being in a gay relationship with eachother.

Similarly, if I have reason to believe Jikook have broken up or distanced themselves from eachother at one point, I would say so and not run around the internet yelling Jikook gay, Jikook married.

There are moments, when I thought Jikook were together but they weren't and so I had to change my mind in retrospect too.

It seems to me, that to y'all, as long as I'm saying Jikook are together then I'm right and it's Amen preach but if I say I think they are or were not together at a point in their relationship then suddenly it's, she is a Trump supporter spreading lies about Jikook and dancing in the rain with convicted serial killers while trying to pass off her published work as Jikook fanfiction. It's all very interesting how some people's minds work...

For the record, I said Jikook were broken up within that period because they were not claiming eachother, reassuring eachother, exercising rights of claim and authority, speaking eachothers love language and all the other metrics I have time and again pointed out several times across my posts that they are the qualities that to me make Jikook a couple.

So do you see why I feel some kind of way when people come at me with the, 'they stared at eachother' 'they smiled at eachther' they touched eachother' argument? Y'all must have me confused a certain shipper on the block. Lol.

You tell me they look cozy and intimate, but then I go and check and they are still not claiming eachother or exhibiting any of the qualities that makes them a couple. Lol.

If I say Jikook is in a relationship, it's usually because I have reasons to believe they are in a relationship. If I say Jikook are not together, it's also because I have reasons to believe they are not together. It's really not hard maths.

I forego a lot of sleep to ensure I share my thought process on a lot of my theories and opinions. I have shared across several posts why I believe Jikook is real. I have shared a few of the metrics I use to decide on that opinion and I have shared my thought process on why I believe in certain moments they aren't together.

It's exhausting when I have to repeat that process each time because then it's not about you asking for my opinion on the topic anymore because I've already stated that, it's about you asking me to change my opinion on a topic based on your assessment and your metric and it just doesn't work that way.

Your assertion that Run 119 was filmed in the same era as On is valid I guess... but I have to disagree. I can't tell you exactly when that episode was filmed but if I had to share my two cents on it, I'd have to place it towards the middle of April this year or somewhere around that period. In my opinion.

I say that because Jimin debuted his jet black hair around 14th April when he appeared in a Vlive with RM. Again I do not know exactly when he got his hair changed but as of March 26th, he had blondish hair.

In his March 30th Vlive- the one where JK interrupted Jin's call, he had a cap on so chilee I'm not gonna argue on whether he had dyed his hair at that point or not.

Then there is Suga, who has blonde hair in this Run 119 episode. He had blonde hair from his birthday in early March and tweeted a bunch of photos of himself in blonde hair from March through to April 28th.

Yet in the JinMinGi Vlive on April 27th when Jimin still had jet black hair, Suga seemed to have a jet black hair too. Which means he could have had blonde hair around the time Jimin went black in early April and dyed it black in late April- but that's theory and that's just my assumption. We can know for sure if and when knew content is released which was filmed around that period.

Thus, I doubt if it was filmed during On era like episode 116 and 117- where you could see clearly, Jikook were having issues.

Just because a peice of content is released in succession don't mean they were filmed around the same period...

So yes I agree with you, we only see snapshots of their time and most importantly we see them in DISORDER. BigHit doesn't release content in chronological order as per when they film them- something I keep reiterating throughout my blogs.

And just as a tip for when you want to reconstruct the timeline for accuracy based on their hairstyles, I think you should look to their Live contents and not their prerecorded content. Their VLives and Youtube lives- actual lives not the prerecorded ones passed off as live streams lol, or even their live reactions to when they win awards or do interviews etc.

I think those are a somewhat accurate reflection of the timeline and helps fit contents in their right time period. But even that- it's still 60/40. But that's me. Feel free to use your own metric to access the timeline.

And the part about them seeming cozy within- On Era, I assume? Because that's when I speculated they had a break up?

I wasn't going to address it because it requires me to provide a comprehensive reconstruction of the timeline but I can't do that until a few more years from now when BigHit has released all or most of the content they have on that period.

I'm just gonna have to repeat myself, for the n>th time though and be intentionally vague about it lol - I had decided not to talk about that period again but I have to just because you make it sound like I would go full on frying pan wielding JK on your ass, step for step, for pointing out that Jikook seemed cozy and intimate within that speculated breakup period. Chilee, I'm not a villain. Lol.

I will not whoop your ass for saying that- but you'd have to answer a seven page query if you are an avid reader of my blogs, so clear your schedule. It's gonna be a long day. Lol.

Query: How do you expect Jikook to look like and behave if and when they are not together together?

I keep saying, at the bare minimum, Jikook are friends not enemies. You don't expect them to act like they never knew eachother during such times. But it takes a while for them to settle into that space when they both feel comfortable with being friends and during such period is when you notice them putting up emotional boundaries and distance between them.

Maybe its just because I saw Jikook as friends and got used to them as friends before lovers and so spotting when they are acting as friends comes easy to me? I don't know.

I think it's similar to how people who are used to seeing Jikook as friends can't seem to see past their friendship to seeing them as a couple.

Then there are those who've only known Jikook to be a couple or saw them as a couple first upon entering the fandom and so can't seem to see them as friends or even think of them as friends. It can be a trip for such people. Which one are you?

If you see Jikook as lovers all the time, really I don't. And I don't need the tensions and the silences to sense something is off. JK unable to check RM or anyone within the group when they are crossing boundaries with Jimin is enough tell.

Same way I don't need to the skinship and 'cosy' to tell if they are together. Jk putting up emotional distance with certain members within the group- all but Jimin, is enough evidence for me.

We don't have to all see Jikook through the same lens to enjoy them. And we don't have to agree on everything too.

We are different people, with different backgrounds and experiences. We can't think the same or perceive on things the same.

I keep saying, to me, there is a quality to Jikook that makes them more than friends. If I see those qualities in them, I believe they are a couple. If not, they are not. Those are the qualities I see only between Jikook and what set them apart from the other ships in BTS.

I see their friendship and I also see their other stuff.

And I notice, during certain periods that they lose that quality that makes them couples- for them to be a couple they need to be speaking eachothers love language, exercising certain rights and privileges over each other, claiming eachother, reassuring eachother yadda yadda yadda and a whole others that don't include them merely talking to eachother or engaging in skinship.

When I talk about Jikook On Era break up period, I'm talking about the period from the 21st to 28th February this year- or the period right before it.

Thats the period I noticed a drastic change in Jikook's interactions and even their personalities. It gave me the feeling that jikook had been through something heavy prior to that date. That period seemed more like the aftermath of a break up rather than the beginning of it as there seemed to be a drastic flip in their dynamics compared to any era before that. Especially late December or around the period when they filmed Carpool Karaoke.

They weren't doing any of the things I've mentioned above that to me make them a couple- they were just interacting and pretty much being civil- except for JK. He seemed more angry, less tolerant and very assertive against Jimin and the group.

He was being super self assertive and was asserting himself even against Jimin- something he has been doing a lot this year which I keep talking about.

Jimin didn't seem different to me at all to me in that period until April.

Why do I feel you are forcing me to talk about something I don't want to talk about? Lol.

I mark that period as significant not only because of the changes that took place in Jikook's dynamics but because it marks the genesis of the JK we are experiencing today.

Their interactions within that period were reflective of a consistent pattern of behavior they've exhibited around periods when they are not together- JK putting up boundaries, not claiming JM, JM trying to reconnect etc.

For instance, at Music Bank on the 28th of February, Jimin did that thing with Jin when he noticed JK interacting with Tae but JK didn't mind him or claim.

Contrast that with their moment on the 1st March, at Inkigayo, where JK literally teleported his ass to stand behind JM when he noticed JM had started his shenanigans on the stage.

Jikook started claiming eachother and acting as a couple again from then- they started reassuring eachother and doing all these things that to me mark them as a couple. Again, this is only an assumption, I don't have the comprehensive breakdown of the period- yet because there are new contents being released on a daily.

On 6th March, during Music Bank when Hobi hugged Jimin during their interview JK reacted strongly to that too in my opinion.

On 30th March, JK interrupted Jin's call to flirt and ask JM on a date- you could see them acting as a couple from that moment at Inkigayo on 1st March throughout to 30th March and their interactions were consistent.

Their interactions in the period before that was pretty much inconsistent and filled with a lot of Jump cuts- which I'm hoping future contents will help fill the gaps for me so I can build a comprehensive breakdown of that era- at least for my self. Iol.

It's just the way Jikook usually behave after these period. They go through a reconnection phase, where they constantly try reassure eachother and then eventually end up in a honey moon phase of a sort where you'd see them flirting up and down the hills, acting super touchy, hitting the red marks- making us and the others feel weird and super uncomfortable watching them.

It's also important to note that around the period of them reconnecting, JK had started distancing himself from Tae. He puts up emotional boundaries with the others and closes himself off to them when he opens himself up to Jimin.

I mean if I'm 'wrong,' and I'm not saying I'm right, I'm just saying if I'm wrong because of your two seconds clip of them acting 'cozy,' then I gotta ask what happened to JK in this period? Why was he putting up boundaries between him and Jimin in that period, and what set him on this self assertive path he's been on throughout this year- think about that while I hold on to my he went through a nasty breakup and had an emotional trauma that pushed him on a path to reevaluate and set his priorities straight theory. Lol

I think some of the content they have released so far within that period were filmed either closer to or far from when that break up happened- Run 116 and 117 would be the closest to that period so far- I just don't know if it was before 21st February or after it.

Run 100 and 101 would also have been filmed relatively closer to that period or immediately after it because Jimin was behaving in those Runs the same way he was behaving during the On Comeback Special VLive which was released on 21st of February- I feel the breakup would happened before this date.

In both those Runs and the On comeback special, Jimin seemed beat, humbled and subdued. He was trying to establish eye contact with JK during the comeback VLive, egging him on to talk about his looks, and putting boundaries between him and the other members. He seemed to be on his best behavior.

For instance, in the Comback he seemed like he was walking on eggshells around Kookie and didn't want to create the impression he was going out of his way to flirt with the others or portray himself as available and so when Suga touched his waist or back, he asked him to stop.

Similary, in Runs 100/101 behind scenes or something, when they were eating and he noticed Tae had food residue on his lips, he tried to help him clean it but panicked and stopped the moment he sensedJK lifting his head up- it seemed he didn't want to piss JK off in those two instances. JK for the most part just seemed serious and less tolerant of JM's bs within that period.

Juxtapose JM's behavior in these two instances with the events at Music Bank and Inkigayo where he was hugging Jin and acting extra around Kook- which to me seemed like he was looking for reassurance by trying to get JK to claim him but of course JK didn't do that.

Jimin likes being reassured by JK when he is feeling 'insecure.' And often, JK reassures him when he notices JM going through that. Jimin does the same for JK.

They are intune with eachother's emotional needs and they consciously go out of their way to meet them.

Take the recent MAMA speech moment when JM was giving a speech and he seemed like he need support- emotional support and back up. Jk turn fully and instantly towards him to let him know he was there for him. We've seen Jikook do this a countless times. I value these moments over them showing skinship or screaming eachother's names.

In the recent BE press conference red carpet moment when JM tried it with RM- did you notice JK's reaction? They both seemed like they were trying to piss eachother other off or make each eachother jealous during that red carpet moment.

JM with RM and JK with Jin. JK grabbed Jin's neck when he noticed JM intentionally acting all up close and friendly with his buddy buddy RM and the frown on his face. He didn't seem too amused with JM doing that...

- it's weird, I know, but it's also their way of reassuring eachother and expressing interest in eachother. Don't judge. It's Jikook- just look away, keep it pushing. Nothing to see here. Lol.

Had it not been for the live events around that On period, I probably wouldn't have noticed these things because the content from BigHit around the period were only showing glimpses of their interactions which again seemed like the aftermath of their breakup and not the start of it.

I think their ability to get to that space where they are each comfortable with relating freely and 'cozy' around eachother as friends depends on how soon they interact on cameras after they've gone through such periods.

If they film immediately soon after, or during, often the tension between them is much more evident like in run 116 and 117.

If they film much later from it, then you wouldn't even notice a damn thing at all. In my opinion. Especially, if you don't know the difference between Jikook as friends and Jikook as lovers.

You can never tell though if you focus solely on Jimin's behavior during such periods- because Jimin is just that guy. He doesn't bring the drama to work. He will smile sunshine through the pain and act like nothing happened. For JK it's different, in my opinion.

Jimin has a very high emotional intelligence quotient and seems to process emotions better and faster. JK is not like that. It is why I feel, he tends to put up physical and emotional barriers with Jimin and with the others sometimes when he is going through it.

They all process emotions at different paces. In my opinion.

I'm starting to wonder if y'all think Jikook is one sided at this point. Lol. Jikook is not one sided. Jimin is not the only one in their relationship. You can't focus on him alone to decide if your ship is sailing or in a good place- because guess what? Jimin can put up a show of it.

It's just as how Tuktukkers tend to focus on Tae rather than JK in determining whether they still have a ship or not. If they paid attention to JK for one minute, they would know their ship got lost at sea at debut.

I keep saying JM's 'the boy in love with Jungkook' persona is a facade. He loves JK through this facade but you have to look past it. I mean this is the guy who told Jin JK doesn't act a certain way around him, but backpedaled and said he was just 'saying it for content' when Jin called him out on it. Same guy Jk says, he intentionally acts cutes when he notices the cameras on him.

You gotta wonder what else he does just for content and for the cameras. Isn't this why people claim Jikook is fanservice?

You have to pay attention to JK too you know? They have different personalities, different ways of handling issues, different ways of loving and different ways of solving problems.

Jimin over expresses himself and tries to establish contact when he is at the recieving end of a freeze out. He did the same thing on stage with JK during Manila when he tried to have a conversation with Kook- to squash whatever issues they had been having but JK needed his space physically and emotionally.

Jimin was sat next to Suga chatting with him, asking him questions, laughing with him but the moment Suga touched him he snapped. He did the same thing in Dynamite MV reaction VLive when JK teased him with Suga. He snapped almost instantly and didn't seem happy with it- he doesn't want to be shipped with Suga and yet he is the one constantly going 'I miss Suga hyung' 'Suga and I are the parents and JK is the son"

In run 116, you could see him trying to interact with Kook even when Kook was clearly putting up boundaries with him. Had Kook not been closed off to him in that moment, we probably would never have noticed anything was off with them honestly.

And that hug JM gave Kook in the end, did you see him looking sideways as if he was doing something wrong? Compare that moment with the Siriux FM interview where he had his hands around Kook. He didn't seem- what's the word, scared.

And by the way, that moment was also filmed on the 21st of February in the US, the same day of their Rockefeller interview and the same day the On Comeback Special VLive was released- so do the maths? Was that the start of a break up or the aftermath of it?

Jimin was leaning forward in that period true, but was JK receiving and reciprocating his actions and matching them throughout that period? No. Or may be its debatable- you tell me. Lol.

Jikook behave in a certain way and give off a certain vibe when they are good and sailing- but not all such moments is because they are a couple. In my opinion.

When they get to that good space where they can be comfortable around each other, they sail as friends too.

It's just like, when they are not good and they give off bad vibes. But not all the bad vibes they give off is because they are not good. Know what I mean?

It's all up to how you perceive them and how much you understand of their dynamics I guess.

It is my understanding that, JK opens up to certain other members within the group while simultaneously putting up boundaries with Jimin when he is having serious problems with Jimin. From my observation of their interactions.

So I ask, within the period of 21st February to 28th, was he leaning towards this certain member he was suddenly BFFs with around the time of their break up or was he leaning away from him? He literally teleported away from him to be next to Jimin when they were getting back together and Tae didn't seem amused by that either.

It's Jikook, I get it. I think you need to pay attention to the way they interact with the other members within the group too? Because that's equally telling. Sigh.

It is my understanding that, Jimin is quick to anger yet quick to forgive and he sometimes glosses over things, puts a lot of energy and efforts into embellishing his relationship with Kook and presenting them as the perfect duo and the perfect relationship- which is something that I think psychologically induces the Kumbaya in a lot of Jikook shippers and influences them into thinking their relationship is perfect and kumbaya. But that's another topic for another day.

JK makes Jikook more real. To me.

I hear often, people talk about how Jimin is less touchy than JK and has personal boundaries within the group and how over the years, he has toned down on his touchiness with the other members because JK puts up a lot of boundaries for him around the members with the frying pans and what not, and would fume whenever Jimin or anyone crosses those boundaries...

But have y'all ever wondered the kind of boundaries Jimin put up for JK within the group and expects JK to uphold within the group when they are together? Hint: It's not JK's touchiness or lack of boundaries. Y'all be connecting the wrong dots. Lol.

Jk puts up physical boundaries for Jimin because that is important to him. Jimin put up emotional boundaries for JK because that is important to him. They overlap sometimes but those times are insignificant to me.

Jk's certain bonds suffer because of Jimin. And he stops respecting those boundaries when he and Jimin are no longer together and the moment they are back together, he puts those boundaries up again with those bonds- this is Morse code, if you catch on message me with it. Wink.

JM throwing his arms around Kook during a serious interview is not him claiming JK or reassuring him. JK yelling Jimin to the power Z is not him exercising right of authority over Jimin- lovers do that. Know who else does that? FRIENDS. Lol.

It's nothing Hobi doesn't do with JM or the other ships don't do.

Listen, I saw all the good bits and things that you saw in that period too and still I formed my opinion on that era the way that I did and have. And the new content from that era, Run 116 and 117 all follow the same pattern of behavior I noticed around that period and have talked about. So no, my view on that era hasn't changed.

Unless, your objective is to have me change my mind based on the 'wrong' timeline dots you've connected, then we would just have to agree to disagree. Lol.

If you believe Jikook were together during that period, I agree to disagree on it. Feel free to disagree with my opinion too.

Always ship Jikook in the way that makes sense to you. And support them while you are at it. Jikook is real. Bless you.

Signed,

GOLDY

[savnofilter]

TW: MENTIONS OF DISCOURSE, GR//MING, P/D/PHILIA, ASS//LT, C//NSENT, D//RK CONTENT.

- this isnt under a read more because i want people to read this, but please read past this/tread carefully if you cannot handle such topics. this is not meant to be interacted with.

I'm not sure how to really go about this. I've been overthinking if I should address this and bring up some stuff while I've been gone, so sorry the absence. I deleted the tumblr app a few days ago and I downloaded it again today so i could post this. I really don't like making posts like this because it cuts the vibe that I've been trying to portray that everything is okay and it makes me feel really disconnected to you guys. I am sorry for the abrupt absence and cutting off any source of communication between us. I knew if I left any form of direct line of talk to me that I would receive hate and I just mentally decided that I cant sit through being harassed right now.

Have you guys ever paid attention to the same people who always have a statement to say or is always in discourse? It's very telling how everyone can post about me, but I shouldnt dare post about them. I'm tired of not being able to post about what I want without people vague posting about me, bringing me up every time they start another discourse with another writer or directly talking about me. My days on here are starting to feel the same. Its good then it goes bad. Good goes bad and bad goes good. It's not even tiring, annoying, or angering -- its repetitive. When I'm not saying anything people create fake stories about me, and when i speak about it im the one starting discourse. Don't get me wrong, I'm nowhere near perfect and I have made my own mistakes. But why the fuck am I always being told to be the mature one, why am I the one who should've done better, why do you people expect so much from me. It's the fact people are always quick to say, "no one cares about you, youre fishing for attention" when they're the ones who vague and interact with me while ive been minding my business for months now. Hm. The fact people have me proudly blocked but still harass me anyways shows a lot about themselves than it does for me. How its such an issue that im a minor until it comes to demonizing, tearing down my character, gaslighting, lying and bullying. I'm a literal example of how their friend group manipulates their followers and exiles people from fandoms for not kissing their ass. except now its in your face.

Consider this my last post about this discourse. I'm not going to waste my time on people who fail to digest other peoples thoughts and opinions time and time again because theyre weak narcissists. If I so choose to decide to shit post my opinions or argue with someone, none of you should be aggravated or moved by it because youre not even supposed to be on my page. If its not something serious i will not be wasting energy that i can be using to build on myself as a growing person than on miserable old ladies that have to use fanfiction to have excitement in their pity, depressing and lackluster lives. If people so do choose to create stories or vague about me, I do not care. So I ask respectfully to people who do lurk on my page to not attempt to message, post or vague about me please. This includes sending anons to yourself to make shit happen.

Past that, something got me thinking. My (older) friend had showed me screenshots of adult writers (no one i have spoken to) that were very excited to write underaged reader with adult characters. There are other instances where writers (that you have probably read from) on here openly made reader underage while aging characters up as adults/with adults. There are many more but there's really no point in listing them nor do I really care. But least to say, the same people who are gung-ho over these pedophilic themes/stories are the same people who support predatory people.

I've been thinking about whether or not i should continue writing for the students anymore. Granted, I still think they're attractive because one snap of the fingers cant stop that. I had been teetering on this thought for awhile because of how borderline pedophilic the people are here towards my age group. I enjoy writing but not to the point of willingly being in a straight line of sight where people who are well over 16 are harassing me and lurking on my page, especially to other minors solely because they are my friends. Backtracking to the statement before, I honestly dont know if I will either stop writing or just for the students as a whole. It shows that clearly some people are using their attraction to teens with the excuse that the characters are fake. The rapid normalization on dark problematic "kinks" is disgusting and vile, and the fact that its discourse now to shame said interests is appalling. Concluding that combined with my experiences here, i feel unsafe.

***(TRIGGER WARNING)*** I dont talk about my personal life on here that much cause I dont see the need too nor do i think its anyone's business. Paired with the fact that the people i have trusted personal information with have used it against me, I will be preventing myself from opening that door. Besides that for now, I have sparsely shared I've been assaulted before. This is my first time really opening up about this and i kind of find it necessary now. Coming from someone who has been a victim of assault and CP by people my age and well over, writing nsfw has been the only way where I could feel comfortable with sex in general. I won't get into details because mentioning this is triggering already and can make people uncomfortable. It feels like anywhere I go, I'm constantly putting myself in a position to be abused. The same people who told me I didn't have to worry about my age and be judged for it, exposed the minimum comfort of keeping myself private online to demonize, judge and hurt me. People call me "extra" for being distraught about my face and age being posted because they think im trying to be sneaky which isn't the case. Its the principle that they KNEW I wasnt ready to share said things, and coming from someone who is inherently a private and closed person, she knew damn well what she was doing when posting screenshots of me on Tumblr. There is no excuse for it. The same writers who write dub/non-con can BARELY understand basic consent and its fucking terrifying. This site was the only other place I could cope without being criticized. To see people who some i was close to proudly lie on my name, (adults) say that i sent them pornographic content without their consent is so very hurtful. To watch people supposedly be victims and then use their own trauma to invalidate my own was so fucking humiliating, disgusting and nerve wracking. Although I knew I made the terrible decision to interact with stories, I have never initiated any NSFW discussion with anyone in DMs unless they did it with me first and a few times -- and trust me raise your hand I'll show you the proof. I was sure that everyone I talked to regularly knew that I was a minor, and to my general consensus, people were under the impression I was 15/16 (which I was and am).***

Whether it be victim blaming from the grooming discourse, I've been met with racism, harassment towards my friends, people wanting me to harm myself and be assaulted. I fear what will happen when i will turn 18, if the harassment will escalate and what not. A big part of me is that I'm still here anyways because it pisses people off and I don't care when I receive hate. I can take it but I don't want it. A good conscious of me knows that I should be doing what's best for me but at the end I'm still attached to my ego-self with the added fact that I sincerely enjoy interacting with my followers and posting stories.

I just don't know how the options look. I'll probably be updating my blog rules as of right now. I've been writing more sfw lately because of this and it'd be nice if you guys supported those until I properly decide. I still have plenty of requests of a bunch of characters (mostly Bakugo and Dabi) and original stuff (all sfw & nsfw) that I really wanna share with you guys. But I just ask that what I do modify that you will respect it like you would to any other writer on here.

Stay safe, keep your mask on, and thank you.

[thoughtfulpaperback]

Charmed 02x17 SPOILERS!!!!!

Okay yall havent had time to do one of these in a while. But I had time to do a rewatch and so I am ready.

Non-spoilery part of this . . . I give the episode a 9/10. The writing (on its own and I'll get into it later) was better than many episodes this season so far. I have mentioned it multiple times this season that episodes 1 to 3 of this season had a different style and scope and (imo) writing pace than the rest of the season except for some of the most recent episodes. While I did have some favorite episodes later on everything pretty much after three didnt feel as grand as far as style went. These last few episodes the writing and style just got turned up. Which is actually great and super frustrating. The writers seem to have the same problem they had last season that is proper plot development/management. We shouldnt be getting all the interesting stuff at the beginning dragging everything out and making no plot progression, then theoughing in all the interesting stuff at the end to get us to stick around. We should have gotten the more plot development throughout the season not just big info bombs ever so often with little devoplement everywhere else.

Here is the truth and I hate it, we had more meaningful screen time and character development with Mel and Abby this one episode than in the entire season. Which is a no-no in my book. The episode on it's own is solid, interesting, and I argue well written, but it should have happened earlier. The things that were good about this episode should have been implemented this entire season. I mean not show will have an A + episode everytime. There will be filler. But it has honestly felt like the writers didnt know what they were doing with certain characters development until last minute. I don't know if that's true, it is just how it has come off to me. So I can understand the frustrations people have felt with this season and its writing. I have them but this episode had me invested and on the edge of my seat. I am excited for more. Which honestly hasnt been the case for many of the episodes this season. I dont mind the last minute overused troupe. I love fanfiction and so I do not easily tire of them, but again pulling it towards the end of the season when many plotlines have been subpar or are least handled in a subpar manner . . .

But on to the spoilers. I am going to go back to the standard likes, dislikes, and episode highlights

1. Abigael character development

Like yall it wasnt much, but like it was more than this entire season so far. I still have no idea what they are doing with Abby-and for me personally it is a little too late to salvage the damage-but the development was actually welcomed. It should have happened sooner. The writers need to pick a lane at this point and just reveal what they want us to think about her (you know like they do with plot bombs) because after some of the stuff and little character development some of us have just soured to Abby. I dont actually dislike the character I just am fustrated with the poor development overall. But I mean had they been doing these little moments across the season rather than setting her up in that weird, poorly handled, and now seemingly dropped love shape with her Harry and Macy (they completely didnt need to have her in there they could have introduced julian earlier on rather than put Macy in a relationship with him after she seemed to realize she had feelings for Harry and then it wouldnt have seemed like she was using julian as much).

2. Mel and Abby moments

The plot was interesting, the development of both characters was better. I mean seriously yall Mel admitting her mom wasnt perfect!!! Given the basic Marisol worship mel had last season and the lack so far of acknowledgement that Marisol made mistakes (regarding thier lives and Marisols marriage). Honestly if they had dropped the Abby Harry crap and had more mel and abby or abby Macy (considering I felt mads and poppy had some great on screen chemistry in the beginning and played well off each other even though it was antagonistic after episode 2) moments like these I feel not only would we know the character better but wed have had better plotlines overall.

Although I think Mel is too quick to overlook all of Abby's past behavior . . . She killed innocent witches and wants to be a demon overlord (or wanted, we dont know what she wants now). But Mel recognizing her mother's flaws and being open to th possibility of being wrong (something she has struggles with both seasons and only gets slightly addressed, if it gets addressed, when it happens) I mean I am here for it.

3. Jordan

I think what has been missing this season is the wittiness of last season and also the genuine fluff. I mean Jordan's comment about kissing Aunt Viv. 10 stars clever (true and revealing about inequity in punishment and treatment of men of color when it comes to sexual assult and harrassment) His excitement over magic. I mean in a lot of ways Jordan is what Galvin should have been/tried to be, but the writers can't seem to do relationship drama and good character development at the same time so....

Jordan is the best and I hope the writers dont mess it up.

4. Julian

So I like the reveal, because I think there is still room to wonder what exactly Julian does and doesnt know. What I understood from this episode is that Julian is behind the experiments in that he started them but the the creatures with those healing powers so that he can take those and use them to heal other. My guess is through creating "more" whitelighters or maybe they og thought they'd just figure out how to raise the dead. Julian at his core (so far) wants to help as many people as possible. Does he know that the creatures die in the process? Is he utilitarian and thinks it is justified? Or is aunt Viv the head person of the actual goings on and Julian is far enough removed from all of it he can emotionally detached from that. Like how for some people it is easier to hear about death than it is to witness it. I think most people are like this but I wont generalize.

Will he change his mind or will we see a different more sinister side of Julian. Like I am interested in getting to know more about his character now, because he has sort of been there as a plot prop more than an interesting character with development. Which is on the writers, the actor is killing it.

5. Hacy

Yall dont get me wrong I think after all the bad writing and angst that the writers did for most of this season, to pull a stunt like that basically at the end of the season was soo wrong.

But I feel that on it's own these moments of Macy confronting and admitting her feelings, the confession, and the little moments (like that face caress and holding him when they get him out of the cointainer) were precious.

That's the stuff we needed more of. Instead of the passive aggressiveness. I know some people hate the amnesia troupe but I prefer it to what they did with the abigael kiss and the jealousy love shape stuff.

Dislikes

1. Middle finger to season 1 and Galvin

Like dont get me wrong, emotional issues dont disappear from one moment to the other and some trauma takes years to overcome if it ever is overcome. But like wasnt Macy admitting she was lonely her whole life and it affected her ability to attach to people and recognize when she wanted someone the basic plot of season 1. I mean she straight up says in the last season that she was so concerned about whether someone wanted her that she never considered what she wanted. And then she says she wants Galvin and now she is saying she never realized when she wanted someone

I think a lot of season 1 has in some ways been "redone" this season. I dont like it because we came here from season 1. We recognized it was flawed. But we still invested time into it. I didnt mind a lot of it, in the beginning to be honest (maybe because I felt it was mostly scenery and vibe than actual erasing plot) but particularly in this episode it felt they were basically saying, "let's pretend it never happened" about the whole first season....okay harry.

In some ways I liked the sort of do over of some character types. I like Jordan as the "mortal in the know" more so than Galvin. I just dont think Galvin was well developed and handled last season. They are doing better with Jordan which is good because if they had messed up the writing for him too I would have been casting my "yall coming off as racist again, do better" look. My biggest fear is that they will mess up Jordan especially if they progress his relationship with Maggie. The writers seem unable to write good/healthy relationships and character development and still give good plotlines at the same time.

Episode highlights.

Macy rehearsing her break up with her sisters

Aunt Viv really trying it with Jordan

"Even white men can't do that anymore."

Abby bringing her bags the the house

[gayregis]

im at that stage of fatigue from the day where i’m so tired the fanfiction is writing itself in my mind theough dialogue but i’m too insanely tired to sit down and write it all out and i work a shift in the morning too so i dont even have time ... so ill forget everything come morning

[[MORE]]

psych, ima try to outline it rn

this is after a little sacrifice and also after season of storms and takes place in cidaris (im not clear on if kerack is the capital so season of storms dealt with the proper king of cidaris or if it was just a local kingship but im hcing that cidaris is also a capital city as well as the region/nation).

this is geralt and dandelion going to the grape festival mentioned in a little sacrifice btw

main goal for this is to basically give dandelion more depth and address his identity issues and backstory and just how his character is in general

valdo marx (as far as i am headcanoning in terms of appearance right now) is of course , also a twink and they have similar builds but valdo isnt as skinny as dandelion because he has access to three full meals every day. he has dark brown hair and green eyes, and i might give him the same hair and beard as dandelion from tw3 just to spite cdpr. he used to sport green/purple doublets as an independent artist, but now as the reaident troubadour of cidaris, he’s adopted their emblatic colors (blue and white) and wears a doublet with a sash of these colors. he doesn’t have poofy sleeves, instead he has these ruffs and like... bellbottom sleeves. also this method of embellishing clothes that i learned from a glamour video (it’s @ 4:30ish) called slashing is applicable to his outfits. i think he veers away from tights unlike dandelion, so he wears more breeches than anything. he doesn’t have detailed embroidery like dandelion, but rather patterned/quilted areas with silver and some small pearls added for decoration in these sections as well.

so geralt and valdo have to be placed together somehow in a conversation. basically he wants to #expose dandelion for being a fraud... but he’s not doing it out of Pure Evil, he’s (vaguely) kind of like the lodge of sorceresses in which it’s like, he is only wanting things to be done his way because really he thinks it’s the best way to do things. he’s really a victim of academia, he would be someone that supports the fact that instruments are like $1,000 each.

basically he and dandelion were classmates at oxenfurt and at first hit it off very well and shared notes and thoughts and sexual partners and all was splendid. but they got competitive and valdo HATES that dandelion does NOT come from a family known for music or any kind of art. basically dandelion is a novus homo, but in the world of music, and valdo comes from an established family which has been musically inclined for generations. he feels that ppl like dandelion just wanna go to oxenfurt for shits and giggles and dont take this opportunity seriously because theyre too blinded by their own arrogance to actually learn anything. and he may be right in regards to a lot of other children of wealthy noble families that attend oxenfurt. but dandelion’s case was different and this he does not like to admit. also he hates how dandelion is... inclined to... a life of debauchery... because he feels he perpetuates stereotypes of artists being good for nothing penniless drunkards and lechers, and makes it harder for Real Professionals from Actual Lineage to get a job. also he has a disdain for how dandelion really wanted to travel and admired the “musicians of the world” that never attended some fancy college, and again valdo sees this as him not appreciating the opportunity he was given, because all you ever need to interact with is this little 1 mile by 1 mile square of oxenfurt, and not even the whole city, just the college. also when valdo tells all this to geralt he goes give him a judgemental up and down look like... “julian loves meeting, writing about, and... ahem... fraternizing with... all kinds of ... people.” (he was gonna say “trash,” but geralt has swords and cats eyes, so valdo swallowed that last word). ALSO ALSO valdo thinks dandelion is further destroying the sanctity of academic places like oxenfurt by training good for nothings from other nobody families, like essi daven, who was actually from a noble family but one not too rich because it was kind of distant from the ruling family. and since she threw a fit they let her do her own thing instead of marrying her off.

also valdo is like “julian— ahem, ... ‘dandelion,’ as you know him... i don’t know why he uses that absurd little nickname,” because he just finds the idea of a pseudonym stupid (since hes from a famous musical family of course he wants to highlight his lineage). and again he dislikes how dandelion is Corrupting Others by not only mentoring essi at oxenfurt, but training her in an “unorthodox fashion,” ie they just duet and talk shit about random stuff and he advises her weird things like “get a cool fake name so all the girls have something to scream as you go on stage”

as they interact with each other, valdo and dandelion actually are kind of opposite of dandelion and essi. they dont throw ANY snide remarks and keep it all under wraps with just pleased smiles and then as soon as theyre out of earshot (a long way for bards) theyre like “i am going to take the replacement strings of my lute and choke the lights out of that tone-deaf idiot” ... geralt is like 😳 to see aggression in dandelion and hes a bit intimidated at first but then is like Bro Are you Fucking Okay ????? Because its so unnatural for dandelion to be Actually Upset about something and not be ok within half a day

scene where dandelion is staring at the mirror and geralt is like you have been staring at the mirror for a long time, even by your standards... dandelion is like “i have to change something... geralt, look at me. look at me. (says it again bc geralt didnt look up the first time). if you could change one thing about my face, what would it be?” and geralts obviously like “nothing.” and dandelions like dont be fucking difficult just tell me i need to know i need your opinion and geralt is like that IS my opinion i sincerely like your face the way it is. something something blah blah blah tenderness geralt says smth like dandelion you have a lot of loyal fans okay...... and hes trying to refer to himself but he doesnt wanna say it aloud

i think something about dandelion talking about who he was (basically referring to “julian” in the 3rd person) and just very uncharacteristically self-loathing but them he pops back into his little arrogant self ... basically he covers that everyone Fucking Laughed at him for wanting to sing but he did it and now he’s the best and also, sexy. in this whole scene (same scene as last bullet point) he is also saying that he needs to “prove himself” and geralt is just like What More Can You Do, You Are Literally Famous... but dandelion is just pensive about it

also he says something like “theres two versions of me... julian with a dream who nobody knows, and dandelion who’s famous and loved.” and geralts like “theres three.” “three?” “there’s also dandelion, the one i know, who, it doesn’t matter if he’s famous or what, because i just like him and enjoy his company.” BECAUSE i dont know how not to be blunt and not hit my readers over the head with what i wanted to get across. geralt is a blunt man however so i think its acceptable to do this

basically this fic is “dandelion can have little a OOCness for character development”

tbh its not too ooc (hopefully) bc hes not like downright depressed, hes just pensive, like he is when hes trying to think of a good title or rhymes and nothing is working. nothing is working! hes frustrated!!!

i have nooooo idea how to resolve this conflict ive introduced. i think valdo and dandelion have to sing a duet together and it is like skating on thin ice with sharks underneath . MAYBE valdo gets possessed by,, something? not a demon bc IVE HAD ENOUGH GOETIA AFTER SEASON OF STORMS but you know An Entity, and dandelion is like wow this is an improvement!! and geralts like no it isnt, now i have to exorcise this fucker

also throughout this i think that the king and queen of cidaris (maintaining that kerack isnt the capital and is just another kingship within the nation) looooveveeveveeee dandelion and his presence and are like oh dandelion you are always welcome in our court :) which also totally pisses valdo off because its like dandelion came into his work/home and fucked both of his bosses and is trying to steal their loyalty through Sexual Appeal. which. may ring true. but dandelion does stuff for fun and not for manipulation soooo valdo is a little wrong in thinking dandelion is manipulating them. and this also adds to valdos resentment of dandelion for being so promiscuous and also writing about his love affairs bc he feels it detracts from The Art...

basically this fic is also me telling academia and ppl who feel art should be limited to a certain crowd to go stuff it cause no one cares and creativity and learning is only human of anyone. also an excuse to give dandelion character depth and also an excuse to break how geralt is always the gloomy one and dandelion has to cheer him up, i think though they do have their strong personalities, relationships should ideally go both ways in terms of emotional support so it shows geralt has the capacity to support a dandelion with festering anger and personal identity problems. also a way for geralt to learn a little abt dandelions backstory without learning/spoiling the fact that hes a v*scount and actually noble and wealthy (they just refer to his family as being wealthy enough to pay for oxenfurt which is significant but not astounding)

[stormbreaker101]

1, 4, 11, & 25!

LONG POST WARNING. EVERYTHING WILL BE UNDER THE CUT BECAUSE HOLY SHIT THIS GOT LONG AND I DONT WANNA CLOG UP THE FEED LIKE THAT FUCKING “DO YOU LIKE THE COLOR OF THE SKY” POST.

1) Tell us about your current project(s)  – what’s it about, how’s progress, what do you love most about it?

My main project is a sort of Wizard101 extension/diversion of canon. I’ve been trying to integrate it into my personal multiverse of other fandoms my friends and I are in (such as Undertale, BNHA, and Worm) and it’s great!

Basically, it happens post Empyrea, pre Karamelle. I interpreted the Nothing that Sybil warned about to be the wizard themselves because all throughout the game they’re nothing but a force sent to clean up other peoples’ messes. They’re never addressed by name by voice (obviously, it’s nonsense to record every line in the game multiple times, each time for a different name), so if the wizard has any other issues with identity and self worth (which Nora does), there will be ISSUES. And so uh long story short Nora kinda lashes out at the Spiral and sends it into a period of catastrophic panic known as “The Tragedy” (stolen straight out of Danganronpa lmfao), and now it’s up to her cousins to clean up her mess. Ultimately the story is about healing so it’s not all dark and depressing. Only... mostly.

I’ve been working on it officially since like September 2020, but on June 19 2020 I also tried to bring w101 into my personal multiverse by giving another one of my OCs Shadow Magic. Why? B/c she was bored and felt stagnant and didn’t feel like enough of a villain.

My favorite part about it is that I’m working on it at my own pace. I’m not writing it as a book and rather it’s a series of RPs on another site I’m on so I don’t feel a need to consistently write or get consistent positive feedback on it. It makes it more fun.

4) Share a sentence or paragraph from your writing that you’re really proud of (explain why, if you like)

No... No! Renee, you're fucking deluding yourself again! You CAN'T CARE! You CAN'T GIVE A SHIT! You are a TEXTBOOK. DEFINITION. SOCIOPATH. An unfeeling piece of shit who cares about nothing but her own wellbeing! Fuck other peoples' feelings! Fuck conscience! And yet... why did her actions say otherwise? She didn't understand. She wished she could understand. She wished she had someone who could understand for her. ... it's too late to turn back. She said she was never going to return to Nora and Iridian. She had to keep that promise.

~

Renee is probably my favorite OC out of everything I’ve written. I’ve used her for like 4 years now, and I’ve developed her so much and her psychology is so complex that I’m still kinda figuring it out. This bit of writing is her personal monologue after she’s left Nora and Iridian, fearing that she in all her villainy will hurt them. It’s just a snippet of her mind but I think it captures her so well.

11) What do you envy in other writers?

Their ability to write consistently and to actually publish shit lmao. All of the stuff I do is mostly just for me and my friends. I’ve tried writing books before. They were shitty Gravity Falls and Undertale fanfictions, but they were books nonetheless, with a name and a title and a start and... I never managed to finish any of them because my passion for them died out. I blame the ADHD.

25) What part of writing is the most fun?

It’s hella cathartic. I get to put my characters through emotional turmoil that I wouldn’t be able to express in any other medium. Writing lets me explore so many emotions and other rough concepts like abandonment and unwanted responsibility and trauma and bigotry in a safe way.

[whimsicalwritingnthings]

A Little Bit of Baggage

Warnings: some mild language

Summary:  hii !! i dont really know how these requests work but could you write something for baekhyun (exo) where you have the same suitcases but didn’t look at the name tags before you leave the airport and so have to find a way to exchange again, youre also intrigued by their belongings.

Word Count: 1,998

A/N: I’m super excited to be writing again, and I apologize as I’m a bit rusty. Hopefully it turned out to your liking. I really had fun with this prompt and I wouldn’t mind making a second part if it’s received well. Please enjoy :)

The flight to Korea had been long. Much too long, and a bit uncomfortable considering the plane was packed with people traveling for the holidays. You yourself had also been traveling to visit friends and wanted nothing more than to be with them rather than stuck on a crowded plane. Any flight more than six or eight hours was bound to be exhausting, however some fussy children and a little more than irritated passengers made things a little more... interesting, for better words. However, listening to music and reading a good book proved to work as a good shield against both boredom and irritated travelers.

As soon as the flight landed the more impatient passengers began to rise from their seats, nudging each other a bit to get to their baggage from above. Quietly you sat, patiently waiting for everyone else to exit before grabbing your own bag and exiting the terminal. Navigating Incheon International wasn't too difficult, although it was much larger than the airport from your hometown. Customs was never fun. The long lines and tight-faced guards never helped either. It was easy to become intimidated and nervous. Although the line was long everything went smoothly, not having to wait too long.

After customs you texted your friend who was supposed to pick you up from the airport and made your way to the baggage carousel to wait for your luggage to come around the belt. It didn't take long for your sights to focus on a brown suitcase with darker brown trim in a vintage styled fashion. You quickly grabbed your bag and through the small cluster of people also trying to get their own belongings and walked hastily to the exit. You couldn't wait to relax, more importantly see your friend as well. You were especially excited because during your ventures overseas you were able to procure a special gift they had been wanting dearly -, however it was thought to be sold out worldwide... until you were able to swindle your way into getting one, that is.

Once you saw their car pulling up you waved furiously to get their attention. With a screech their car came to a halt at the curb and they hastily tumbled out of the car in order to welcome you back.

“____! It seems like it's been forever” they whined.

You groaned, “I know it's been too long...But you'll be pleased to know that someone really awesome was able to get you that thought-to-be sold out Genji figure,” you smiled deviously.

Their hands dropped from your sides, eyes wide and mouth hung open. After a moment they spoke softly, “Are you for real right now?”

You laughed, “Yes, but you'll have to wait because it's covered in all my clothes in my suitcase. For protection of course.” Quickly after that, they threw your luggage in the trunk and ushered you into the passengers seat.

The ride was pleasant and spent in good conversation, mostly catching up and talking about upcoming plans with their parents and so on. Tomorrow they were going to pick up their parents as well as finish some projects quickly which left you by yourself for most of they day in order to recover from jet-leg and relax a bit before the real plans started to take place. As you made you're way up to their apartment you were excited to give them their gift and also take a shower and take a nap.

Once inside you made yourself comfortable in a guest room you began to open up your suitcase in order to get a fresh pair of clothes. To your surprise – and horror – none of the clothes were familiar. A few pairs of boxers, some socks, shirts and pants, an extra pair of shoes much to large for your feet... A small panic began to set in. You started to flip some of the clothes, just in case, perhaps in the hopes that at least one familiar piece of clothing would show up, or even your friend's gift. But to your dismay, nothing showed up.

“Oh what the-” you exclaimed to yourself in disbelief at the confirmation that nothing was yours.

“____? What is it?” your friend asked, peeking their head around the corner into the door-frame.

“I'm such an idiot,” you stated, hand going to your forehead to try and stop an oncoming headache.

“What happened?”

“This isn't my luggage,” you said quietly.

“What do you mean that isn't your luggage?” replied your friend as they walked into the room.

“I must have some other poor asshole's luggage,” you groaned, “and that means that they probably have mine... and, shit, that means they have the gift I brought you, and the things I brought as a thank you to your parents and wow, okay, the fact that some stranger has now probably saw my panties...” You wanted to scream. You closed your eyes as your head fell back with a loud groan. “Why...just why?” Your friend laughed. “This isn't funny,” you whined.

“Did you check the tags? Maybe there's a number you can call,” your friend said as they started to check, “Oh...No number.”

“Well that's just freakin' gre-”

“But there is an email,” they interrupted. Your interest peaked, opening your eyes and looking over your friend's shoulder. “baekedbyuns@smt.org,” your friend said with a small giggle, “Sounds odd.”

“Can you spell it?” you asked, pulling out your phone, already typing out an email.

[Hello, my name is _____. I left Incheon Airport and I realized too late that I took home the wrong luggage. I have yours and I'm assuming this is the right email to contact you. I feel really bad about this, and am very sorry. Do you perhaps have mine as well? If you want I can send them back to you if you send me an address.]

After you wrote something in a manner you deemed polite enough you tossed your phone on the bed. “It's stupid shit that happens to me like this that skyrockets my anxiety.”

“Hopefully they'll reply soon. They're probably just as worried about their own things.”

“Maybe, but there's not much here that's of any interest other than these weird souvenirs,” you said pointing at a particularly odd set of socks, “But what if they go through my things? What if they're a secret pervert and steal my underwear or something worse?”

“Or maybe they're hot and single and this is a cool twist of fate that brings you to your soulmate or something.”

“You've been reading to much fanfiction. Nothing happens like that to me other than probably getting murdered in an angst fic.” Your friend rolled their eyes.

Suddenly a ping went off. Your friend threw your phone back at you. You opened up the new message from an unknown number.

[Hi ____, I must've took your luggage too :( I'm sorry :( but at least we know who has our stuff. I started texting you before I found you had emailed me ><; sorry if that's not okay, but your number was on the tags, hope it's okay. Sending luggage is expensive we can just meet and exchange them if you're free :)]

Another ping.

[that is unless you're flying away or live really far that is ^^;;;]

“That was surprisingly quick,” you stated, “and they type like a middle school kid, but from the size of his shoes we're looking at a full grown man... He wants me to meet him,” you said blankly. The first thought coming to mind was the murder scenario.

“Oo, a man you say? You should do it! Shipping is expensive anyways.”

“That's what he said, but remember what I said about the murdering and the dying?”

“Maybe it's you who has read too much fanfiction. Bur really, who knows? Maybe he won't be prince charming, but I don't think there will be any murder involved. Just a quick drop and grab, and then you'll leave with your stuff...and then I can have my gifts,” they smiled slyly.

“I don't want to risk my life for some silly touristy gifts.”

“But it's the Genji figure. That is by no means touristy. Tell him to meet you somewhere public, date safety 101, it's not like this is some back alley deal.”

“Firstly, this is by no means a date, I just need my things. Second, regardless of whatever I doubt a date will come with it.” After a minute of thought you decided, “Fine. I'll just meet him. Worst thing that happens is that he's ugly or something, right?” Your friend nodded. “Okay.”

[I can meet you tomorrow at Sinsa Station outside of exit 8. Thank you!]

Meeting at the station was a good idea. It was a weekend and the area you chose to meet at was close to many restaurants, so there was even more lunch traffic. It was also far enough away from your friend's apartment as well so he wouldn't be able to guess where you were staying in case they did, in fact, want to plan a murder.

You arrived early and was enjoying people watching while also keeping on the look out for the person with matching luggage. Your head was turning every which way, neck craning on the look out for some mystery man who's suitcase you happened to steal.

Suddenly, you felt a light tap on your shoulder. “Hi.” You spun your head around and your jaw dropped, “Uhm, I'm Baekhyun, we switched up our luggage?” Standing before you was a man, taller than you, and also strikingly handsome. His hair was dark, his smile was charming. His legs looked long and slender in his distressed blue-jeans. He wore a white, long-sleeved button-up, tucked in the front of his pants and had the sleeves rolled up to expose his forearms. He ran a nervous hand through his hair, “Uhm, yeah so can I have that back?” He pointed to his luggage.

“Oh, yeah, here,” you said, trading suitcases.

He took his with a smile, “I don't mean to be so forward or sound weird, but from the look of what was inside your luggage I wasn't expecting you to be so cute.”

You were taken aback by what seemed to be a backhanded comment, “I mean, same. I didn't expect you to be...” you gestured up and down.

“Attractive?” he answered.

“Sure, let's go with that. But what do you mean about my luggage?”

“It's the granny-panties and that Overwatch figure,” he laughed, “Kind of threw me off,” he shrugged nonchalantly, “I expected some odd middle-aged fangirl.”

So began your internal crisis. Yes, as confirmed by your fears, a stranger had in fact looked at your underwear and – unfortunately enough – you didn't even happen to pack any of the nice ones. Just in case you had to show off to any potentially hot onlookers who just so happen to also have the same exact luggage as you. Cool.

“If you want to see the nice ones you have to get to know me first, that's the rule,” you replied quickly. Smooth, you thought to yourself, very nice recovery.

“Well, since you already have my number, would it be alright to call you to get coffee sometime?” Smoother yet...

“Yeah that sounds great, totally great. Yep. Great,” you stuttered out, making him laugh a little.

“Alright then,” he flashed a big smile, “Then I'll call you later,” he gave a wink your way before he started to walk away, “by the way,” he called back to you, “I bet your granny-panties are still cute if you're in them. I can't wait to see.”

Your eyes widened.. Your face burned and you suddenly regretted meeting in such a crowded area. You couldn't form any words as he strode away, laughing maniacally, luggage rolling behind him You'd have to apologize to your friend. Not only was Baekhyun attractive, but you had a date as well.