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doctor-gyro-gearloose · 4 years ago

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Understanding Gyro Gearloose

A fair day in Duckburg, the sun was shining and the air was warm on the face a perfect day for a perfect date, thought the ever so brilliant Fenton Crackshell Cabrera who was meeting up with Huey outside of a small coffee shop.

“Fenton!” Huey says, “You asked me to be here, why?”

“Huey! You and Dr. Gearloose know eachother..” Fenton murmurs not making eye contact with Huey when his face begins to warm.

“I’d say so, is there something wrong?” Huey asked.

“No! Gosh there isnt, I was just...wondering if you’d help me...Please dont tell anyone else, but..I want to surprise Dr. Gearloose with a date.” Fenton explains, stammering as he started to sweat.

“Well, then you have come to the right place, oh boy this is exciting! Where do we get to start?” Huey asked.

“Well, if there’s one thing I have to remember about Dr. Gearloose is that I can’t do anything too dramatic, he stresses out easily.” Fenton explains. “Do...you have any advice?”

“You’ve come to the right place Fenton, I know exactly what you need. Sit down my friend!” Huey says.

Fenton smiles, “Oh thank you Huey, youre the best!”

“Of course Fenton, now the most important thing is it to set the mood, you said that Gyro gets stressed easily, so plan for something small.” Huey explains.

“That’s easy! We can watch a movie in the lab, thats his comfort place.” Fenton says.

“Perfect. No big surprises, just a good movie, and some snacks, you guys could get hungry, every good date has snacks.” Huey said.

“Hm, light snacks, Dr. Gearloose doesn’t eat snacks very often, but i know what he likes so I will provide that.” Fenton says.

“Mood lighting. That’ll be everything for your date, warm colors, make it comfortable. Blankets are a must.” Huey says, getting excited for Fenton.

“Yes! I have plenty of those! I’ll use as many as I can to create the most comfort for Dr. Gearloose..” Fenton says.

“What movie do you think will set the tone?” Huey asks.

“Darkwing Duck! I just know Dr. Gearloose will like it.” Fenton says,

“Great. Now we have all the elements for your perfect date.” Huey says.

Fenton smiles. “This is perfect. All I would have to do is get Dr. Gearloose out of the lab so i can decorate it, Boyd can help! He can fly, oh, it’ll be perfect!” He starts to get excited about his little date.

“I know exactly how to get Dr. Gearloose out of his lab, I’ll act like I’m interested in one of his new inventions, and then Ill suggest we show it to Scrooge, he will leave the lab with me and then you can swoop in, decorate it with Boyd, text me when your done and Ill take Gearloose back, and it’ll be perfect!” Huey says, he smiles happy for Fenton.

“I knew I could trust you Huey, thank you.” Fenton says. “You go get Dr. Gearloose now, Ill need as much time as I can get, I have something I want to show him as well.” Fenton says/

“Huey is on it. I wont let you down Fenton!” Huey says.

“This means so much to me, I hope it works.” Fenton says, only a little nervous now.

“Don’t worry Fenton, Ill make sure it works.” Huey says while the two make their way to Gyros lab, Fenton hangs back so that Gyro doesn’t see him sneak in, there would be no way for him to lie about what he was up to, not to Gyro.

Huey walks up to the lab door, knocking on it awaiting Gyro.

Gyro hears the knock, walking over to the door, he opens it. “Red Nephew?”

“Yes its Huey here! I was interested in knowing more about your inventions!”

A rare smile forms on Gyros face. “I never figured any of you would be so interested in my work!”

“You’re the coolest scientist we know! Of course I am.” Huey says while Gyro lets him in his lab.

Gyro adjusts his glasses while he walks to his workspace ready to start information dumping on Huey.

“Can you tell me more about your cool shrink ray?!” Huey asked looking in awe at Gyro.

“Of course!”Gyro picks up the Gearloose Microphone, “The Gearloose Microphone! The microphone that can make tiny voices loud, and of course shrink you to a microscopic size.” He starts to go on in even more depth, gesturing wildly as he spoke. “You see my work is very well crafted Red Nephew, you are smart for taking such an opportunity to understand my inventions. All of the accusations you’ve heard are wrong, my inventions are never evil just wildly misunderstood.” Gyro speaks while lil bulb peaks from his hat as he says ‘evil’.

Huey didn’t quite expect Gyro to talk so long. They were there for a long time before Gyro finally stopped talking to take a breather, Huey took the opportunity to ask Gyro to take his presentation to the manor.

“Can we go up to the manor? I bet Uncle Scrooge would love to hear about the Gearloose Microphone.” Huey gasp, “everyone would love to see it!”

Gyro looks at Huey; “You really think that?!” He sounded hopeful.

“Of course.” Huey says, he smiles “Lets go!” He takes Gyro by the arm running him out of the lab.

Gyro screams, breaking free as soon as the two left the lab. “Never touch me again.”

“Finally.” Fenton says sneaking into the lab, he was starting to worry that Huey was going to be unable to get him out of the lab.

“Hey! Psst Boyd I need your help.” Fenton calls to him.

“Fenton! What do you need?” Boyd asks.

“I’m planing a date with Dr. Gearloose, i need you to help decorate the lab a little bit.” Fenton explains.

Really?! Ill help decorate!” Boyd happily said.

Fenton and Boyd begin to look for some decorations. He took Hueys advice and decorated with warm colors, making the lab a comfortable place to watch a movie in.

“This is going to be a perfect date.” Fenton says while he strings up some lights over the large window in the lab. He continues to tidy the lap, ensuring it will be looking its best when Gyro comes thru the door. Boyd flies putting up little paper lanterns.

“Wow. The lab looks fantastic!” Fenton smiles, the lab nicely decorated, comfortable for Gyro. “Now to just set out some snacks.” Fenton looks all over the lab for food, Gyro didn’t keep to much at the lab, but Fenton was able to make due with what was there. “Perfect!”

He takes out his phone and Texts Huey that has done all that he had needed to do.

Huey gets the message all the way back at the manor, to his luck Gyro stopped talking as he got it.

“And thats the Gearloose Microphone!” He says with pride, while Huey and Scrooge clap for him.

Gyro looks over to the time, “I should really go back to the lab now.”

“I will take you down!” Huey says, walking to lead the way.

Gyro found it odd Huey suddenly liked him so much, but he was enjoying him, not that he would ever admit that.

The two walked to the lab, Gyro opens the door to Fenton standing by it with a rose.

“Dr. Gearloose.” He smiles, handing to him.

“What is the meaning of all this…” Gyro asked, as Huey just winked, leaving while wishing Fenton good luck.

“Well, Dr. Gearloose, you are always so busy working and all...I planned this, very not date to watch a movie!” Fenton explains.

Gyro looked puzzled for a moment, looking at Fenton and all the lights around the lab, sure looked like a date to him.

“Come on! I set up the movie over here in my laboratory!” Fenton takes Gryos hand walking him over to his tiny bathroom lab. “Here we are.” He opens the door, the two enter the small space. “Sit down! I set us up some blankets.”

Gyro didn’t say anything, he sat down while Fenton started up the movie for them, once he was set up he joined Gyro on the floor.

The lights dim and the movie starts, Gyro was still quite confused about what was going on, and why Fenton would put so much effort into something for him, it wasn’t like he deserved it, least he didn’t think so. He sighs, when Fenton looks over at him, smiling.

Gyro suddenly felt warm inside, in the moment he was glad it was dark, because he was in fact blushing, something that he would not have wanted Fenton to see.

The movie goes on, Gyro found himself getting closer and closer to Fenton the longer that they sat and watched Darkwing Duck, before he knew it, he was wrapping himself around Fenton, resting his head on Fentons shoulder; he hadn’t felt this relaxed in ages, it was a weird feeling for him, but he liked it. Fenton was warm, he was cold, the heat felt nice to him on his body, he almost didn’t want whatever it was he had to end. He in fact, had feelings for Fenton whether he wanted to admit it or not, he sure couldn’t deny it now, he smiles admiring Fenton and the movie.

It ends, the two were still quite quiet, not speaking a word, that was until Fenton spoke.

“Doctor Gearloose I would like to show you something...I have been working on.” Fenton says.

“Are you s—I mean of course, what do you want to show me?” Gyro spoke, he didn’t want to admit that he wanted to just stay on the floor snuggling to Fentons warmth.

Fenton smiles. “Behold! This is Gizmocloud.” He says while turning on his computer. “Here, put this on.” He hands Gyro a VR helmet.

Gyro puts it on his head; as Fenton joins him.

“It’s a virtual reality system I have been working on, heh, It’s still in beta. There’s glitches I dont know how to get rid of.”

Gyro was looking in awe, barely listening to Fenton, “This is...impressive F-er—intern.” He nearly slipped out Fentons name, but he couldn’t let Fenton know he liked him that much.

“You really think so?” Fenton says, while slyly turning on the sunset; setting the mood he thought.

“I do! This is incredible….oh forget it, Fenton.” Gyro smiles at him.

“I-I have a name.” Fenton smiles, he looks into Gyros eyes, taking his hand.

“Ah, well..” Gyro blushes, his feelings for Fenton growing stronger the longer they stood looking at each other.

“I think we have really good chemistry, Doctor Gearloose.” Fenton carefully kisses Gyro on the cheek, Gyro, now possibly overwhelmed by all these soft feelings he’s never felt for Fenton before, starts to tear up.

“You...mean all that..you did this all...for me?” Gyro asked.

“Of course, who else would I be doing anything for Dr. Gearloose, nobody is worth any amount of time or effect, just you are.” Fenton says, while Gyro unexpectedly hugs him tightly, his now very warm face touching Fentons.

“Fenton...thank you..” Gyro says, keeping his tight hold on Fenton.

Fenton smiles, overjoyed he couldn’t have asked this date to go any better than it did, quietly thanking Huey as well for all the help that he had provided making it possible.

Gyro then returns a small sweet to Fentons cheek, “Consider us even now.” He says, while he in reality also wraps around Fenton, kissing him softly.

While soft music begins to play, thanks to Boyd, the two return to reality.

Gyro is quiet again, looking at Fenton fiddling with his own thumbs.

“You ...don’t want this to end do you?” Fenton asked, he was starting to understand Gyros body language a lot more, understanding what he wanted without actually outright saying it.

Gyro shook his head, making Fentons statement true, he didn’t want it to end, not ever, he wraps himself around Fenton, causing the two of them to fall to the floor.

Fenton smiles, his date a larger success than he could have ever asked for.

The two of them laid snuggling for a long while until Fenton had fallen asleep, Gyro still wrapped around him admiring him, he couldn’t believe Fenton went thru all of that, just to have a simple little date with him. He didn’t realize how often he was pushing Fenton away until this point. Part of him felt guilty, but also lucky that Fenton had never once given up on him. He was greatful for him, truly he loved Fenton, he just never knew how to say it, until Fenton showed him how, just now. Gyro smiles, for once as he falls asleep wrapped around Fenton, where he could stay, forever.

#gyro gearloose #ducktales #ducktales 2017 #dr gearloose #fenton crackshell cabrera #fenro #here’s a fanfic #its..the gandra dee episode but make it FENRO #enjoy #fanfic #fan fiction

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Goof Week: Goof Troop: Forever Goof Review (Everything’s Coming Up Goofy, Good Neighbor Goof, Gotta Be Gettin Goofy) (Commission for WeirdKev27)

Yahhahhooooeeeey all you happy people! WELCOME TO GOOF WEEK! Now normally when a character who got their start in theatrical shorts has a birthday, I do a marathon of them. I have since last year with Donald and it’s one of my favorite things: it allows me to explore Disney’s rich history of them I was largely unaware of till Disney+, and allows me to revisit the shorts I grew up with in the case of The Looney Tunes or Tom and Jerry while discovering new favorites. SO naturally with Goofy’s birthday in two days I intended to do the same for him, especially since I’d covered Donald and Mickey the same way.

But fate had other ideas. Not thinking about this tradition, Kev, my patreon, friend and the guy who commissions a LOT of reviews from me ($5 an episode if your curious and I WILL make room on the schedule so your commission gets done as soon as possible), suggested reviewing the Goof Troop pilot movie Forever Goofy, later split into the episode Everything’s Coming Up Goofy and Good Neighbor. I loved the idea since I genuinely loved Goof Troop, and decided to do both that week.

It’s then I got a great idea.. why limit myself to JUST doing two things? I hit my 15 dollar patreon stretch goal, so a review of the Goofy Movie was on the Horizon anyway, and for it’s anniversary year Kev has been commissioning House of Mouse Episodes, so it wouldn’t be THAT much of an ask (and it wasn’t) to simply randomly select from a pool of Goofy-Centric episodes instead of all the episodes.

Thus GOOF WEEK was born, and Kev once again proved vital to all this by suggesting the special Sports Goof from the 80′s. I’d like to give him special thanks as outside of the Shorts Special, which as a patreon he still got to pick one and if you’d like to pick one for Donald’s special, sign on up even one dollar patreons get the honor. , this week is either entirely paid for by him or in the case of A Goofy Movie, is partly thanks to him. I wouldn’t be able to do NEARLY as many reviews nor make money off this without you bud, so thank you.

So naturally given the idea to do this two parter gave me the idea for this week and that Goofy Movie makes a logical finale for said week, it only made sense to start the week with Goof Troop. Bop-dop-da-da-do-bop, YEAH.

Goof Troop is the first Disney Afternoon show I ever watched and the only one I watched when I was younger, as Disney Channel used to play it ocasinally when I was younger and Toon Disney would do the same and I even got to Marthoon it when Disney XD did a weekend marathon. Given it starred my faviorite Disney Character, Donald hadn’t worked his way up to tying with him quite yet, I loved what I could grab of it. And as an adult.. it still holds up. It has problems i’ll get into, but it is a real good time so I was exastic to get an excuse to watch some of it and much like with Darkwing wish I had sooner.

Before I can h-h-h-hit it though, I have to talk about the series history. I ALMOST didn’t find anything: much like the other Disney Afternoon shows there really wasn’t much on the Disney wiki nor wikipedia, google turned up nothing... it wasn’t till I went to the Tv Tropes Trivia Page for the series, where i’d remembered reading about some early versions of the show, that I hit gold: A two part behind the scenes blog post by series co-creator Michael Peraza. You can find part one HERE and part two HERE. It’s a short but fascinating read.

Speaking of fascenating Peraza himself is someone i’d never heard of till reading this article but damn if he isn’t a legend. Seriously the guy’s career is as an unsung hero, starting work under the Legendary Nine Old Men, and working on some of disney’s greatest films: The Great Mouse Detective, Aladdin, The LIttle Mermaid, and Beauty and the Beast, along with live action cult classics Tron and Return to Oz via concept art. And concept art is where he’d hit his stride: he did conceptual work for all the big Disney Afternoon shows apart from Gargoyles, being one of the key guys in the early days of Disney Television animation. He didn’t stop at just designing things either as he worked as Art Director for Ducktales, The Proud Family and of course given how vital he was to it’s creation, Goof Troop, and to this days gives lectures with his wife to aspiring animators. He even did some guest work for the 2017 Ducktales Episode “Treasure of the Found Lamp!”. So yeah dude’s awesome

So how did he come to be a key part of this show’s creation? Well he’d just finished up some concept work on some other Disney Afternoon shows, and being a company man was glad to report to the Goof Troop..ers to help as the show was having trouble getting off the ground. The reason for this was the creative exec, who Peraza didn’t name out of kindness as the guy wasn’t a BAD person.. just a clueless one, this being his first job in film and tv. As such rather than work hard to develop around goofy or focus on his strengths the kid threw out one concept after another: The series got it’s name from a pitch that had Goofy as a scoutmaster, something I was glad to finally know. To quote Peraza

“ Although while I was doodling versions of the show that were destined to never see the light of the TV screen, the pitch date remained etched in stone and kept creeping closer. Various versions would find their way to the surface only to sink again into the wasteland known as the roundfile (trashcan). One moment Goofy was the Captain of the Fire Department, the next day a detective out of the Maltese Falcon mold, or a swash buckling hero fighting The Flying Dutchman.

The supporting cast he came up with really wasn't very supportive when you consider they sometimes included alien dragon babies with wings along with a large gorilla. Somebody at Walt Disney Television Animation must have really had a thing for giant gorillas around this time as they were plugged into almost every concept we assembled.”

It was clear that while Goofy COULD fit into just about anything, this exec was just throwing everything at the wall, nothing was sticking, and rather than try to refine his supporting cast, they kept having to throw them out and start over. And dont’ get me wrong, cartoons go through a lot of development and changes as they go.. but it’s usually born from a concept and usually by this point, they at least have what the show will be ABOUT in stone. While i’ve had the same creative changes and what not when coming up with projects that ultimately never saw the light of day, and currentlly some I hope to but might not, I’m not being paid by a studio to do this nor had a hard deadline. I was just spitballing trying to get something anything off the ground before reviewing gave me a steady outlet for my creativity and thus ballanced me to take my time with stuff. Peraza WAS turning out amazing art, like this concept art for the fireman pitch that honeslty makes me want to see it as a series. Who DOSEN’T want to see 9-11 with Goofy as the main character? Throw in Donald and grown up versions of Max, PJ and PIstol (And even not THAT much for the former two, as they did go off to college and all), don’t forget Roxanne this time out and you have a worthy goofy movie sequel.

So yeah this wasn’t working and the latest pitch was not great: Putting Goofy in ToonTown as a cabbie driving the Cab from Who Framed Roger Rabbit. As Peraza TRIED to point out to the exec, putting Goofy in a naturally goofy setting didn’t really play to the characters strength, his whole shtick being a goofus in a normal world. Enough of an every man to root for but also a slapstick joly weirdo.

The executive’s INCREDIBLY douchey response, especially since Peraza was a Disney Vetran at this point and had spent quite a lot of time on Ducktales, so he knew what he was talking about was “Do it anyway and leave the “Visionary” part to me”

As you can tell by MR. OOC there, this might be one of the most punchable sentences i’ve ever read.

So Peraza wasn’t in a great place and was naturally terrified when he got a call from Gary Krisel, president of Disney TVA, asking about the show and to see him about it.

Turns out though Krisel was a nice guy who already had a great working relatinship with Peraza, and genuinely wanted to know what was going on there and wanted his honest opinion. It’s why i’m not AGAINST executives in animation as sometimes they can come in when somethings clearly not working or allow a smooth transition of power if a propelmatic creator has to be booted off their own show so the show and i’ts crew don’t suffer as a result. It’s just more often than not they cause headaches or cancel shows for entirley stupid or self motivated reasons. But I will give credit where it’s do and point out times where there NOT stupid or homophobic or what have you and this is indeed one of those times.

Peraza was indeed straight with him: pointing out all the concepts they’d gone through, and like with the other guy honestly gave his opinon the ToonTown Pitch wasn’t working.. and he not only agreed but asked Peraza himself, actually respecting his experince instead of yelling at him that he has a vision that wouldn’t last the end of the day probably.

Peraza was HOPING this was where this was going and gladly gave him a far less high concept pitch and one truer to the character, quoted in full bellow:

“ My spiel went as follows, "Goofy is a recognized star of Disney animation, so why re-invent the wheel? His son is an average kid dealing with many of the usual issues they face: peer pressure, young love, grades, school bullies, and so on. On top of all that, he has the zaniest, wackiest GOOFIEST dad to live down. No matter how insane the situations get though, they will always love each other. They're a family." Gary asked how I would pitch it and I replied, "It's ONE day in the life of Goofy and son. From getting up in the morning to fixing breakfast, we see their difference side by side as his son tries to distance himself. No matter what though he knows deep inside that his father will always be there for him, whether he likes it or not."

If your wondering if Peraza noticed that that original pitch line is basically the peremise and emotioinal core of The Goofy Movie down pat.. your extremley correct and he notes that the film was based on said pitch even if he had no involvment with it that I could tell. The series would still use this but the whole embarasment aspect was toned down, and honestly fit a teenager better than an 11 year old..

So the exec loved it and Peraza shaped the core of the series: the idea of having Pete as his nemisis, pete having a nuclear family including a gorgeous wife, and the show being more slice of life and what not. He made some great sketches, got roaring approval and then pitched it to rousing success and the rest is history. Goof Troop was a moderate success and The Goofy Movie after it is a classic beloved by all. We have this wonderful man to thank for all that and I also thank him , on the offchance he ever sees this, for bringing Goofy into modern times in a way that did the man-dog justice. It’s thank to you we got this fun series, two great movies, and a goofy the way he is today: the best of everything about him rolled into one. Thanks man, free review.. not htat you NEED It since you’ve worked on things i’ve covered and what not, but I feel like I should offer. Outside of Peraza, I found one last bit of making of stuff before I get to the premiere proper. These two early concept shots:

The first has Max who both looks older and has red hair like he did in the shorts. Honestly I see a lot of his Goofy Movie self in thiis design, the only diffrence obviously being the red hair which was wisely changed to make the boy look more like goofy, something kept for the movie.

The more intresting one is this shot of the Pete’s. Starting with Pete he’s more athletic and has a perfectly tacky outfit. While changing him to be a bit more slovenly honestly fit this version of the character better, I do wish they’d kept hte outfit as the tacky gold and green jacket, the gold chain, the open ollar.. it all fits this version of pete so well, as well as his illusion of being a big shot when he is in fact a medium one. Peg is both slightly younger looking and far more doting and is so different I swear this picture looks like Pete remarried after the divorce and got some lipo. Pistol has about the same design but with a vastly different, more Isabella-ish outfit. Finally we have PJ who looks the same, but has a diffrent outfit and a far more sour demeanor, probably meant to be a bully. My best guess is sthis stuff comes from the pitch, and was likely made to simply get the basic premise across before fine tuning the characters for series

So with all of that out of the way i’m calling eveyrone to join in the fun under the cut and report to the Goof Troop.

Everything’s Coming Up Goofy:

Our first episode opens in a small but cozy trailer, where Goofy’s cooking up lunch as only goofy could: by making osme meatballs then serving them to his son over a game of table tennis, with Max doing the same. It’s really freaking adorable, and a dynamic i’m not used to since i’m more familiar with Teen Max. Seeing Max genuinely get into his dad’s hyjinks and enjoy them.. it just warms the heart and adds weight to The Goofy Movie by knowing there was a time the two really were thick is thieves before the stygian hole that is high school drained all that out of him.

So the two are like buddies and pals until the Mailman arrives, not even phased at this point. Turns out it’s a Diploma, and with this Goofy can get a job he’s been up for in Spoonerville and plans to move immediately. Max is devisated he’ll loose his friends and runs away to use a magical mystery box to keep them together only to end up in a land full of frogs with an old man who sounds like his dad minus the drawl and two other tinier frogs and ... I may have the wrong show. In fairness you try dislodging a finale where Keith David runs a 13 year old through with laser sword and then talk to me.

Goofy is sympathetic though: While he seems a tad oblivous to Max’s worries, it’s very clear he’s jumping on this job and this move so far to give his son a better life. Sure he runs through all the cartoon moving away talking points that don’t work in real life or most other cartoons such as there being a nice lake and that max can make new friends, and Max accepts it weirdly fast because this episode is only 22 minutes and they don’t have time for that subplot... but it’s clear the idea of a better paying job, a secure home not in an alleyway, and some stablility for his son is the real reason Goofy’s doing this, and he probably wants to simply give the boy the childhood he had growing up.

Meanwhile in Spoonerville, we meet Pete. To my shock this is where Jim Cummings took over the roll he was born for and has played since and with good reasons as Cummings is just amazing with Pete no matter the incarnation and excels here his penchant for playing jerks, hams and gravely voiced guys all coalesicing. Pete is planning on building what modern toxicly masculine weirdos such as himself would call a Man Cave on his lawn, because Pete is a very SPECIAL kind of douchebag. He also plans to stretch it into the neighboring property, tear down the house there and set it up.

This is news to his wife Peg, played by fellow voice acting Legend whose stillg ot it, April Winchell in her star making role. Peg is Pete’s strong willed wife who dosen’t put up with her husbands crap.. you know that trope that infected sitcoms for kids and adults of the doofy husband whose either a manchild , a skeevy self serving quipy asshole or some horrible combination of the two. The kind that has still been so prevealant the wife from one of said sitcoms helped produce a show about the wife finally doing the logical thing and plotting to kill the bastard. No really.. that’s an actual thing that’s happening. It’s even got a Little Bit of Alexis as Anne Murphy plays the poor, poor wife.

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And why yes the series is called Kevin Can Fuck Himself. And why yes said former sitcom wife was the same one on a sitcom called Kevin Can Wait who was fired because they wanted to retool the show with the wife from Kevin James other sitcom. That also is very really a thing that happened. Payback is a bitch aint it? Fun too.

But yeah from minute one Pete is a terrible husband: Peg is a realtor and thus is trying to sell the house because it’s her fucking job instead of letting her husband throw their family deep in debt to very likely illegally demolish a house so he has a giant yard to play in. I mean even if this is all played for jokes i’ts just not funny enough to not make him an utter bastard. The fact his response to her VERY valid criticism and subtextual worry he doesn’t’t take her career seriously is to fake a panic attack, from a very REAL tendency he turns out to have giant breakdowns under stress, to try and guilt her into letting him have his giant public man cave just backs this up.. as does the fact she simply glares at the camera as he’s clearly DONE this before.

Since I have to put up with this version of him for the rest of this episode, the next, AND a portion of the movie, i’m proudly introducing the Pete Sucks Counter. This will carry over to any other appearances of the guy from here on out. So that’s one for his insane plan, one for disrespecting his wife’s career and one for faking a panic attack to try and win an argument Pete Sucks Counter: 3

So because this episode ran short Peg caves and compromises: He can have the property if it isn’t sold by 9. So Pete does what ANY husband would do: uses his spy camera and booby traps he’s set up in the other house to try and scare away prospective buyers.

Yeah.. while the show TRIES to have Pete not as his old-timey villian self.. they traded in for him being fucking MODOK. I mean he is a grotesque monstrosity who has a nuclear family and spends all his time in a chair thing and can barely function as a Husband or Father. Though at least I can belivie MODOK LOVES his family which not so much with Pete.

To prove this Pete tries using a fake spider to scare some buyers then CALLS THEM TELLING THEM PEG IS A CON ARITST. I.e. something that if they mention to her bosses could get her FIRED. He respects his wife’s autonomy, what she wants and what she’s asked him for, which is a fair shot to sell the place before he tries to wreck the place, as well as likely what his neighbors want. I mean I can accept breaks from reality for comedy, snakebird is my boy.

So I can accept pete has this stuff.. I just can’t find it funny when these shenanignas very transparently show that while he surface level loves his wife he dosen’t respect her or actually listen to her except when she gets angry. He IS the villian so he’s still a slight step among monst sitcom dads but i’ts not great. I can find it funny that his den also functions as a super villian lair though. That shit will never not be great. Also Pete Sucks Counter: 6 For the record: one for the spider itself, one for having traps set up in a property hat both isn’t his and his wife is trying to sell and another for threatening her job and her self esteem as she is baffled at what she possibly did wrong.

So Goofy and Max get on the road, leaving moving the rest of their stuff to an old coot whose a friend of theres. So it’s goodbye Duckburg, Hello Spoonerville! And yes I headcanon this as Duckburg. Goof Troop is one of two shows that very clearly happened in SOME form, the other being Tailspin, the only difference being the time period (Goof Troop taking place in the 90′s and Tailspin in the 30′s or 40′s) and any adjustments for clashes with the 2017 verse. So going off that, we also know Donald and the boys KNOW goofy and didn’t remotely question his presence, as did the rest of the cast.

So figuring out the timeline, Goofy likely met Donald in college, even if he never finished college as per an Extremley Goofy Movie, which may not happen the same exact way given Goofy still has his old job and may not loose it in this timeline, though i’d like to think he still meets Sylvia. But point is he drops out, possibly to marry Max’s mom, they end up moving to Duckburg for her work, she sadly dies, and Goofy is left raising Max alone. Donald and Goofy likely bonded as single parents struggling in low paying 9-5 jobs. Goofy left here, likely said goodbye to Donald and the 5 or so year old boys offscreen , and left. As for how anyone else knows him that’s simple: he probably visits whenever he can. He’s a good friend, genuinely loves Donald like a brother in all continuities, and of course would show up with a progressively more then less grumpy Max every time. As for what I think the rest of the cast would think of him: Scrooge would hate him for his disaster area ways, but at least respect him as a hard worker, he just wouldn’t personally hire him which is.. it’s fair. Beakley would be aggravated by him. Webby would of course like him because she’s essentially him but competent and gay, and Launchpad and him .. god that’d be a joy to see. And drive up Scrooge’s insurance. Della would also like him obviously. I”m really disappointed we didn’t get a season 4 if for nothing else the fact we probably would’ve got another Goofy episode. It also feels weird he’s not in the finale in any way shape or form you know? Why have such a big guest spot for him and then just not bring him or Max back? GIVE ME MORE MAX DISNEY DAMN YOUUUUU So they move right along with Goofy excited to get back to where he once belonged, and to call Pete with the good news on his 90′s cell phone. Pete is utterly TERRIFIED finding out Goofy Comin and tries to send him off course to prevent it. Naturally despite nearly running into a truck, Goofy makes it to Spoonerville by evening anyway and we get a delightful bit that shows off BilL Farmer’s comedy skills as he rapidly lists off all the things in town while driving Max through town. It’s so damn smooth. This also is notable since before this farmer had just played the character in some DTV music videos, which stands for Disney not Denton but god I now want Shock Treatment with the Disney Crew. I mean who wouldn’t want Donald as Brad, Daisy as Janet, and Gladstone as Farley Flavors I ask you. Not sure who every one else would be i’m sorting that out. And if you don’t know what Shock Treatment is, here have this trailer with a nightmarish opening.

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Dammit now I want to watch Shock Treatment again... so I am. Found it in full on YouTube, and I feel no shame in sharing that as it’s not on VOD, nor any streaming service, the DVD, which I own, is out of print, and the Blu Ray is a UK exclusive. This film both needs to be seen more and needs another proper US release damn it!

So naturally Goofy somehow finds Pete’s house.. I dunno maybe Peg’s been sending him letters. Can’t blame her for having a wondering eye long as she dosen’t act on it. She’s married to a walking lump of ego, selfishness and cholesterol and likely only held on as long as she did for the kids. Which for the record Peg as a child of divorce whose parents got divorced rather than keep up a sham marriage or anything.. it’s not worth it. I was MUCH happier that way in the long term.

Anyways Peg and Goofy happily reunited while they awkardly try to get the kids to meet, with Goofy and PJ not warming up to each other at first, likely because Max just lost all his friends, and PJ clearly had none going into the series from context we’ll get later in the pilot. We also get a hilarious bit where Peg alternates between warmly greeting the goof’s and hilaroiusly shouting at Pistol to not play with worms.. in what honestly sounds like a protype for Miss Finster’s voice.

Meanwhile the kids try to hide a small crack in Pete’s boat.. which he notices as he’s just about to steamroll the house despite NOT having asked Peg if she sold it yet and just assuming, possibly opening himself and her to a lawsuit

Pete Sucks Counter: 7

Discovering his boat is trashed, he has a comical panic attack, which I can forgive since this was 1992 and they weren’t as well known as a serious problem. Seriously while pete is a bastard man.. the animation on him is GORGEOUS as it is HILARIOUS, while Jim Cummings brings the hell out of it. He’s kept the roll for three decades as of next year for a reason. Goofy ends up accidently destroying his boat in the process of trying to help him as you’d expect.

So Pete reluctantly lets the goofs sup with them.... and by reluctantly I mean he don’t wanna but Peg’s forcing him, which is pretty much the other half of their relationship in a nutshell: When pete isn’t lying and betraying her, Peg is forcing him to do stuff. As you can probably guess by how harsh i’ve been this aspect has aged INCREDIBLY poorly for me. This is your standard sitcom setup: asshole or dumbass or both dad, put upon wife who has to keep him in line.. but it’s just not how a GOOD marriage works and got so damn draining over time. Again and again we got things saying marriage is awful, comitting sucks unless your young, again and again. It’s why i’m REALLY happy we’ve been getting far better sitcom dad’s and marraiges lately. Bob’s Burgers is naturally the example, with the wife being the less sane one but both having their quriks and neither being so entirely dysfunctional you ever question the marriage. The Louds are another good example: Lynn Sr. And Rita NEVER right with each other that i’ve seen, have a perfectly happy relationship despite 11 kids, and wholly support each other, with Rita happily giving her husband the go ahead to quit his soul draining desk job so he could pursue his deream as a chef, and later letting him take a massive fincial gamble and open up a restraunt, purely because she belivied in him. Finally we have the Williams from Craig of the Creek who are easily one of the best married couples i’ve seen in western animation and one of them’s played by Terry Crews so that shoudln’t be a shock. I could prabobly find more but my points made: this trope REALLY ages the show poorly, more than any of hte 90′s specific tech or swinging theme song I just realized I forgot to talk about. Eh i’ll save it for the next episode.

I have NEVER liked this trope anyway: only simpsons has really made it work for me and Family Guy did until they just stretched it too far, and with Simpsons at least they freqeuently have episodes pointing out how unehalthy it is. It dosen’t help this trope somehow STILL isn’t dead, as evidenced by the fact Rick and Morty has it in spades and for SOME damn reason got them back together.. I mean they don’t fight anymore but it dose’nt fix the problem. So yeah while I’m not holding against the show TERRRIBLY as this trope wasn’t as widespread at the time, it still dosen’t make it GOOD even at it’s core.

Things get worse for Pete though as while Goofy praises him (And the Pete Kids rightfly wonder if Goofy is from space given the logic of ANYONE being that fond of pete. ) Pete finds out GOOFY bought the house he was going to demolish and will be staying with them till they move in. I have only one response to his misery....

Max also futzes with the tv which you THINK would lead to Peg finding out her husband is the antagonist of a Blumhouse movie but instead just does nothing.

So then we have Dinner where we find out SUPRISINGLY, Pete actually has a somewhat valid reason for resenting Goofy: Goofy cost him the big game in high school as Goofy and Peg were on the cheerleading squad together and Goofy accidently kicked pete in the face at a crucial moment, which Pete got the blame for. Granted I did say SOMEWHAT: Goofy is genuinely apologetic and says Pete shouldn’t of been blamed and Pete’s apparently been hiding the truth from his kids this whole time. I do call bullshit on that as while admittedly i don’t get into local football or any sportsball, Pete works at a dealership. At least one asshole would bring it up to either rile him up or out of genuine rage at something that happened at the very least a decade and a half ago. Pete hasn’t let go of this footbullshit DESPITE owning a successful dealership, having two wonderful children, an even more wonderful wife, and a friggin nice boat. But really.. it speaks to Pete’s character in any version: His ultimate undoing is his greed, his tendency to keep going and never settle. It’s something he oddly shares with Donald but Pete lacks Donald’s’s heart or redeeming moments. Pete just wants and wants and wants no matter who gets hurt because he’s inehently selfish and will simply TAKE It if he can’t get it. But it’s why he’s miserable, and ultimately ends up divorced: He can’t be satisfised so he often looses what he has.

So with Pete on the rampage Peg sends the boys upstairs. It’s here we get PJ’s first Woobie Moment: He has a room FULL of cool toys, comics and what not but his dad is such a greedy asshole he refuses to let the kid actually use them. He even knows this isn’t normal but is just resigned to it. Rob Paulsen is phenomenal as PJ, being funny and energetic, snarky and off to the side or depressed and fearful all with grace and ease and all making this all feel like the same sweet kid.

I mention this because Paulsen’s action is so good it highlights an issue with PJ: the writers lean way too hard into how much a hardass Pete is, to the point the series, likely intentionally, HEAVILY implies he physically abuses pete and the stuff on screen isn’t over the top enough, at least for tehse episodes, to get away with how he emotionally abuses him either. He talks down to him, doesn’t let him play toys and as seen by various episode synopsis and the next episode, uses mind games to keep him in line. THIS is why I can’t stand this version of Pete. He’s an abusive monster to this poor boy and I won’t stands for it, nor it being played off as a joke, especially since they try to ping pong between using it for comedy and using it seriously which just.. doesn’t work.

So Max earns his future best pals’ friendship by trying to help him.. and succeeding by pointing out that while he said not to use the Tank anywhere on the ground.. he didn’t mention the celling or walls and has the tank going up the walls. And clearly by the fact PJ is seen sleeping with it later, despite Petes’ss anger at this, Peg presumably ripped him a new one once she found out about the toys thing.

So that night Pete can’t sleep with Goofy tromping around the house and tries to whack him with a Golf Club. I’d give him another sucks count..

But given my brother lives in the basement and I sometimes accidently wake him by tromping overhead without meaning too, I DO get getting a bit fed up with someone clomping around and waking you up, and it is a slapstick cartoon so trying to physically assault someone is less of a crime here and more a setup for a punchline.

So get an UTTERLY hilarious scene as teh combination fo tripping on golf balls and Goofy singing his family lullabye, camptown races with lyrics

So Pete proceeds to have another freak out this time RUNNING ALL THE WAY TO DUCKBURG, THROWING THE OLD MAN OUT OF THE CAR AND THEN BRINGING IN THE GOOF’S BEDS AND BOXES BEFORE TOSSING THEM IN THE HOUSE. It is truly an amazing combination of Jim’s utter talent as he babbles hialriously and the animators as they just make it sing. It’s a great climax to part one. So with that the goofs are home and Pete semeingly gets to go to sleep.. until they start working on unpacking.

Final Thoughts On Good Neighbor Goof:

This is an excellent start to the series. The jokes are really well paced, the characters well introduced and the humor top notch> I had my complaints obviously.. but i’ts more systemic issues with the series, and stuff that honestly it dosen’t hamper my viewing experience for the most part. The PJ stuff does, but it’s not as big a deal this episode as he barely interacts with his Dad, but otherwise it’s stuff that just hasn’t aged well and they can’t be faulted for not seeing a deluge of terrible sitcoms a comin. The cast is top notch: I didn’t get to them in the proper review so Dana HIll deserves praise as Max, giving just the right amount of 90′s TV Kid mixed with real honest emotion and i’ts a tragedy she’s gone. She would’ve been right up there with the rest of this amazing cast in history. Though at least she got a worthy succesor.. but that’s not for now. For now we’re taking an interlude to look at the wonderfully 90′s music video that was aired along with this special:

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Gotta Be Gettin Goofy:

This was my raw reaction to this video. Now is it bad? No the song has great flow it somehow manages to scratch Bill Farmer’s goofy vocals with the beat, the rapper makes the cheesy lyrics work, and the chorus of “gotta be getting goofy” backs a great bit. It’s not a bad SONG.. but the video is a hilariously insane mess. We have two of the poor dancers forced to wear just.. HORRIFYING looking Goofy costumes that look like the Dog based sequel to cats that thankfully only exists in my nightmares

I pityt hose poor dancers. Meanwhile the rest of the dancers are wearing Goofy Baseball uniforms and letterman jackets for some reason. is it beause Goofy likes sportsball. I thoguth they just had them lying around but now I see the g’s on the uniform. They CHOOSE to do this. Max also does a shredding guitar solo, not the max up there the animated max. Combine that with LOTS OF random clips from the show and you get this thing.. and i’ts worth a watch> it’s just hilarously what the shit.. not the most hilariously what the shit thing i’ve seen.. not even this week... that would be this thing from the Eurovision Song contest...

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Your welcome. So moving on because this is already badly behind.

Good Neighbor Goof:

So our second episode opens with the Goof’s trying to move in and pete being upset their being loud. Now being upset your neighbors are being loud is one thing: Mine set off fireworks all week around fourth of July. Granted Pete would probably be the one doing such nonsense but still, I get it.. but it’s fair to have a lot of noise when your moving in and in Goofy’s case also trying to patch up a massive hole in the place.

So he does what any reasonable man would do and activates the earthquake machine he hid in the basement.

I wasn’t kidding about the MODOK comparisons. Granted the thing uses a belt to somehow do this.. but it’s designed to SIMULATE AN EARTHQUAKE AN DDOES SO WELL. The only reason Goofy’s not dead is that pete uses a low setting that instead ends up unpacking everything. IT’s a neat gag but again... PETE HAS AN EARTHQUAKE MACHINE.

Which Goofy accidently destroys his boat with. Meanwhile the boys try to talk over tin can phones only for Pete to notice and try to stop it because he’s a dick and doesn’t want his son to be happy because he hates Goofy. So Pete’s idea of a punishment is for PJ to wear the family shoes to go crush cans while wearing a helmet and given Pete mutters to himself about this keeping PJ away from Max i’ts likely something that he made up to torture his son soooo..

Pete Sucks Counter: 8 Max being a good pal agrees to help his friend crush the cans down to recycle for money and comes up with a zany scheme to do so

Meanwhile we get a few scenes of Pete trying to eff with Goofy’s day: Peg is making food for Goofy like a good neighbor/someone planning for their eventual divorce, so Pete makes him some too with tons of hot sauce. By the laws of classic cartoons, naturally Goofy loves it and wonders if Pete has hot sauce, while Pete trying it explodes his head Scanner’s style.

He then tries giving Goofy a chainsaw loaded with some kind of explosive or something... so yes he’s esclated to MURDER over.. Goofy annoying him a bunch as he’s apparently given up on the whole taking over that lot thing.

Pete Sucks Counter: 9 But it is hilariously petty and naturally backfires again by cartoon law as Pete ends up starting it for Goofy who can’t get it going.

Meanwhile PJ and Max inact the plan which is to drop a bolder with a rope on the cans, but end up having to ride the cans down when PJ lets it go too early and it ends up sweeping both boys on top of the box. They have fun though, with PJ actually getting to enjoy life for once and loving having a new friend.

So as his lot in life Pete has to ruin it by yelling at PJ for getting diryt, then for hanging out with max as he can SMELL the goof on him.. which means he’s either exaggerating or he knows what goofy smells like.

So he forbids PJ to see him insluting max.. while Max is hanging out the window and ends up crying. Oh and Peg never gets involved in any of this across both parts, likely because she dosen’t know.. which makes it even MORE horrifying as it gives off the implication Pete gets away with his abuse of his son because he hides it, like a real world abuser. But even then some things like trying to break up his and Max’s friendship or the toys thing you’d THINK she’d notice.

So we get more untetionally telling stuff as PJ says he’ll treasure this day and the only time he was happy.

Pete Sucks Count: 14 2 for the last scene, 3 for ALLL this one implies. But Max won’t give up the ghost no he won’t give it up. They haven’t the strength to hold on for long but if they both hold on together they can make each other strong. So he has a plan: have Goofy throw a Luau and invite the petes.

Peg naturally forces him to attend and Pete is a dick about it at first, but eventually enjoys himself when they do a conga line. The pets, Waffles and Chainsaw get into some antics. I do love Waffles because I love a kitty. Chainsaw is okay even though I love me a good doggo. Especially this one.

You are a Good Boy, Good Boy. But eventually while playing a party game about passing coconuts, Pete considers the coconut and considers the trees but dosen’t consider Goofy kicking him in the face AGAIN

So Pete is naturally a dick about this despite it being you know, an accident. But he takes it a step further by insulting Max Pete Sucks Count: 15 So Goofy gets mad. But here’s where a rather sizeable flaw shows up in the episode as Goofy.. acts exactly like Pete does about the insuing feud. He forbids Max to see PJ makes up rules and is generally petty and vindictive. And look Goofy could be in the shorts. He’s endlessly adaptable.. but here nothing about his character has shown he’d sink to this and it feels forced to bring abotu the climax.

Thankfully said finale salvages thing: That night Max pulls PJ into his room via the cans, and comes up with a plan.. weirdly asking PJ to hit him with a muffin to save their friendship... but it’s not random it turns out. His plan.. is brilliant. While I really don’t like these types of feud between neighbors make our kids suffer by making them not be able to be friends because we’re being petty children plots, this one has a REALLY clever solution to that: Max and PJ FAKE an oversclated fued similar to their parents, starting with insutls and throwing mulch and escalting to taking down each others fences and then throwing food at each other, before injuring their dads with planks and stuff, nothing serious just slapstick stuff, all to get both to settle down and try and get the boys to stop fighting.. it works like a charm, it’s full of great bits like Peg offering the boys pie only for Max to use it as amuination and i’ts just a great way to end one of these episodes. Not that I WANT more of these episodes but if your going to do this stock plot you might as well be creative with it.

So we end on the Petes and Goofs having a BBQ, all friends again, with Pete having his marina and Goofy nearly burning Pete’s house down and us getting a photo to end the episode.

Final Thoughts:

This one was a step down. Pete’s abuse is REALLY highlighted here and the plot is very paint by numbers and forces Goofy to be out of character for the last act for it to work at all. He just strikes me as too genuine and noble to hold onto a grudge this easily. Peg is also reduced from her usual feisty self to being oddly useless, not stepping in at ANY point to stop any of this depsite it being grossly otu of character. There’s a few great gags and a great climax, but the whole product is just okay

Later Today: Goof Week and Goofy’s birthday continue as I complete the trilogy of Shortstaculars with one about my boy! Featuring Goofy’s first apperance, his first short and the first apperance of what would eventually become Max!

If you liked this review, follow me for more and consider joining my Patreon which you can find RIGHT HERE. Even a buck a month helps me keep doing these and more gets me to my stretch goals, the next one up being the two remaining ducktales mini series, a darkwing duck episode a month and a reivew of the danny phantom film the ultimate enemy. And even a buck a month gets you access to exclusvie reviews, my patreon exclusive discord and to pick a short any time I do one of my shortstaculars. My next one is for Donald’s birthday next montha nd there’s only 6 days left to get on that pay cycle so if that sounds good to you get on in NOW while you still can and i’ll see you at the next rainbow.

#goofy goof #goofy #goof troop #max goof #P.J. Pete #PJ Pete #Pete Pete #Peg Pete #Pistol Pete #Sponerville #Gotta Be Getting Goofy #disney channel #the disney afternoon #disney afternoon #disney xd #disney plus

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marinerainbow · 5 years ago

Note

Hi! I have a Darkwing request! In the show, there is one clip where Gos needs to get in bed, but she won’t. So Drake chases her, until he gets distracted. It was such a cute moment! I was wondering if you could write just a small amount of family fluff, where Drake is chasing Gos around the house, while Launchpad watches, possibly cheering them both on. It’s ok if you don’t! No pressure! That moment is just really cute!

EEEE!!!! I DIDNT EXPECT A REQUEST THIS EARLY!!!! THANK YOU!!!

Anyways, I better calm down so you can (hopefully) enjoy a drabble! I'm still new to writing so hopefully it wont suck too much.

"GOSALYN!"

The red headed girl slid under the coffee table, her father jumped over it.

Launchpad was standing off to the side as he watched his two best friends chase each other around the house. He knew well by now it was best to stay out of the way when they got like this.

"C'mon 'DW!" The pelican called out after dodging the two speeding avians, "Maybe it wouldn't be too bad if 'Gos stayed up for a little longer?" He asked, trying to reach a compromise.

"Yeah dad!" Of course Gosalyn would agree with that, "It's only 10:30! I'm twelve now so I can stay up a bit longer!"

Drake may have been a crime fighting hero, but if there was one person in the entire world who could give him a run for his money, it was most definitely his daughter. He may have been fighting criminals for years, but Gosalyn was small, a hockey player, and spirited.

"Staying up past your bedtime is bad for your health!" Drake exclaimed after emerging from the closet he crashed into, "When I say it's time for bed young lady, I mean it!"

Drake had almost caught Gosalyn, before she leapt out of his grasp and over the lazy boy. Exasperated, he called out to his trusty sidekick, "Launchpad!"

Launchpad jumped out of the way just in time before either duck rammed into him, "Well uh, you know 'Gos, your dad's right! Not getting enough sleep can make you tired all the time and you cant focus on work, you could get bags under your eyes, maybe you should go to be-"

The crash and frustrated yell that was heard from the kitchen told Launchpad that they were all gonna be here for awhile.

The short duck sluggishly walked down the stairs, he looked like he had just ran a marathon!

Which considering who he was chasing around the house only an hour ago, he probably did.

Gosalyn had finally tuckered out after... a few hours or so of running, hiding, and sneaking out of bed. Drake was finally able to tuck her in, sing her her lullaby- despite how much she claimed she was too old, Drake could see the smile form on Gosalyn's face when he offered to sing it to her. Only minutes ago was she resisting bedtime, but now she was sound asleep.

Drake practically collapsed onto the couch, Launchpad was waiting for him with a glass of water, which Drake wasted no time in chugging.

Launchpad chuckled a bit seeing his friend, he would have been more than happy to help but Drake insisted on getting Gosalyn to bed himself, "Looks like 'Gos finally hit the hay huh?"

Drake looked like he was ready to pass out himself, he didnt respond so Launchpad continued, "Looks like your battery could use a little recharge too! Hehe."

"What? No I'm fine!" The duck claimed, raising a single finger in the air, forcing himself to stand and make a heroic pose, "My spirited daughter is no match for the terror that flaps in the night!"

Launchpad resisted the urge to remind Drake that Gosalyn had actually threw him off her trail without leaving the house.

Instead, he stood up and stretched, "So DW, we got any crime fighting to catch up on?"

At this, the mallard sunk back on the couch, looking dejected and frustrated at the same time, "No! Not a single crime tonight! Since when dies a city not have crime!?"

Nevermind the fact that this has happened a couple times.

Launchpad offered Drake a reassuring smile, "Hey, that means you can get some rest! From the looks of things you need a nap after that chase, hehe!"

Drake gave Launchpad a slight glare, he knew that the pelican meant well, but how could he rest when his city could be in trouble? "Oh please LP, hasn't being my sidekick taught you anything? St. Canard is never 'at peace'! In fact, I bet there will be a robbery right now!" Than he clicked on the radio that was sitting on the lamp table.

Nothing to report.

"Uh, DW-"

"Ok, ok, ok, so maybe the broadcaster is late!" Drake exclaimed, "Theres no problem in checking!"

Launchpad sighed as he watched his friend head over to the two chairs that would lead to his secret lair. Sitting on one, he looked expectantly at Launchpad, "C'mon LP!"

Launchpad stood up and walked towards Drake, but he didnt sit down in the other chair, "C'mon DW," he started, "It's late! And Gosalyn tuckered you out! Theres no harm in taking a power nap!"

Drake shook his head as he looked at Launchpad scoldingly, "Launchpad, like I told you, imperfectly Fi..."

As if on cue, Drake let out a massive yawn.

...

Launchpad crossed his arms and quirked a brow at Drake but he still smiled, "That looks pretty tired to me."

Drake crossed his arms, not unlike a child who didnt get their way, "I'm not tired!"

Launchpad shook his head, not in a dissapointed manner, and said, "Drake, you havent been getting much sleep lately, you should take this chance!"

Logically speaking, Drake knew Launchpad was right. He had to tell Gosalyn that every other night. But st the same time, he wasnt a twelve year old, he was St. Canards hero! He couldnt just sleep now!

Even so, Drake couldnt deny the way his eyes felt droopy, or how it felt like the chair he was sitting in felt like it was pulling him into itself. Not to smother him, but to lull him to sleep.

Of course, no chair- no matter how comfy it may be- was no match for the great Darkwing Duck! He would rise above this bout of exhaustion! He would show the world that nothing could keep the terror that flaps in the night down!

However, he should have made that resolve sooner, for now the hero of St. Canard had succumbed to the clutches of sleep.

...

'Wow,' the pelican thought, 'I didnt think that would work!'

At first, Launchpad considered carrying Drake upstairs to his own bedroom, but than he remembered that with Drakes instincts, he would be wide awake and alert if someone touched him.

So instead, Launchpad quickly, but quietly, got a spare blanket from the linen closet and carefully placed it over his friend. He wanted to grab a pillow too, but he would have to have moved Drakes head to fit it under him.

When he made sure Drake was snug, Launchpad sat back down on the couch, leaning his head against his palm as he felt his own eyes get droopy.

Launchpad would have gone to his own bedroom to sleep, but before he knew it, he had fallen against the couch, already snoring peacefully.

End.

I meant to get this done sooner, but I was having a hard time getting the scenes in my head and portraying them into words, sorry for the wait!

I... I dont know if it's just my own paranoia, but I feel like the ending was bland. I coukdnt think of anything else to put in.

But anyways, I would VERY much appreciate constructive criticism! Dont be shy!

Again, thank you so much for requesting! Have a good day!

#Darkwing Duck #Drake Mallard #Gosalyn Mallard #Launchpad McQuack #family #fluff #my own post #writing #i meant for this to ve friends looking out fir each other #but i can understand why anyone coukd see this as shipping.#i hope you enjoy!

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nitr0glycer1ne · 6 years ago

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Ducktober Day 5 - Madness

It wasn’t his fault.

Of course it wasn’t. How could it have been? The kid- Launchpad, or some stupid name like that- is a fan of his. Big fan, actually: he’s here at every single one of his signings, even though he always faints before getting an autograph (or just three, no, scratch that, one intelligible word out of his bill). He’s helped him sneak on the set for that stupid, worthless piece of trash masquerading as a Darkwing Duck reboot. Really, the kid’s not to blame.

(Never forget: Jim Starling’s fans are the best of the best; such a grand actor wouldn’t settle for less.)

No, it’s his fault. The moron pretending to be one of his admirers to better con him and his fans. The liar manipulating the fan into not trusting him, into rising against him. The sham making him question his motives, his actions, his purpose. The nobody trying to make it big by riding off his fame.

Yeah. He’s a nobody, for sure. No one’s ever going to remember his name in five years- hell, he’ll be surprised if anyone remembers it in five months.

But he will. Oh, he definitely will.

You don’t forget your archenemy’s name like that, no- it stays engraved in bright neon letters in your brain, it’s burned forever in your neurons until you’ve destroyed him, grinded him into dust, made him kneel before you and respect you as he should, as everyone should-

So, no, he’s not going to forget the monster’s name until said monster is nothing more than a quivering mess of tears and pain and anguish and hurt and-

(Deep breaths. Remember what the doc said. She’s an idiot, but she was right on that one. Focus on your breathing.)

…

(Okay.)

He might not be the brightest when it comes to technology (he’s already an amazing actor, come on, you gotta leave some stuff for the others), but he’s a fast learner, and the shameless attention whore is bad at hiding his presence on the web. It was ridiculously easy, actually- as easy as it’s going to be to make him pay dearly for everything.

He’s compiled everything in a single folder, one he’s copied on a USB drive. He can’t help but snicker every time he checks its contents once more; it’s probably the more important role the useless pile of feathers calling itself his “biggest fan” will ever play. His nemesis- the one he’ll gladly destroy before taking his sweet, sweet revenge on everyone else.

(The list is lying in his RV, he thinks? Probably somewhere behind an empty 24-pack, or beneath an improvised ash tray. Suits the “people” on the list right.)

He’s almost giddy when he thinks about what he could do to him, which blow to strike first.

For all his talk and panache when he’s facing villains (there are a few videos on the net, none of them getting past a few hundred views), “Drake Mallard” has actually quite a lot of weakness, and he almost salivates when he lists them all in his head and sees in great detail how to exploit them. There’s two of them he especially likes thinking about, getting lost in realistic daydreams (no, not “daydreams”, they’re rehearsals) about the many ways he could break the fucking freak if he were to push the right buttons.

That little brat he’s taken from some kind of dumpster – or orphanage, whatever, same thing – for starters. Oh, that one’s delicious. He hates kids anyways- and this one looks particularly nasty. Loud, opiniated, an activist or something, ugh – the whole package. It would be so, so funny to see him whimper and cry and beg all because of a little girl- oh, he can’t wait-

Or the other thing he really, really likes, and that Drake really, really likes too: the very fan he heroically saved at the cost of his own life (yeah, OK, he survived, but he could- should? - have died, so.)

The irony would be delectable- something out of a movie, it brings a tear to his eye. (At least, it would have, before. The meds really don’t help with the dry eyes and the dry mouth.)

It’s a cruel dilemma, one he always ends up back to. The brat or the fan? The little girl or the overgrown child? And why not both- how greedy and wonderful it would be-

Sadly, all those plans bubbling in his genius brain will have to wait. There are more pressing matters at hand, like the fact that someone’s been knocking at the door for a while. He sighs; he really thought he’d finally be at peace after hiding his RV in the woods, but apparently people always manage to find him.

Journalists, the police, even a private eye that one time- don’t they have anything better to do? He understands that people want to chance to bask in a movie star’s glory, but Jim Starling’s been dead for four months now, so why do they keep coming back?

The knocks get more insistent, so he sighs and gets up from his creaking bed, his hand automatically reaching for the chainsaw beneath it.

I love Jim as a character, there's so much the Ducktales crew could do with him and I can't wait to see what becomes of him!! I hope the writing wasn't too chaotic? I tried to write as if following Negaduck's train of thoughts so I wanted it to be at least a bit chaotic!

On a personal note, I headcanon Jim as having narcissistic personnality disorder and bipolar disorder :x and the meds used to treat bipolar disorder can cause dryness of the mouth as a side effect which was what I referenced here for those who didn't know :) I'm in medschool and less than 2 years before residency, and I want to be a child psychiatrist as psychiatry is my favorite subject so feel free to talk with me about it if you want! Like if you have your own headcanons about other characters or share/dont share mine about Jim I'd love to know!

Haaa I ramble but psychology and psychiatry are really subjects I enjoy ;;;

#ducktales #ducktober #jim starling #ducktales spoilers #my writing #my fics #my fanfiction #negaduck

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rayesketchit42 · 5 years ago

Text

When you befriend the king part 1.

“A Deal Made.”

Oc Fic| DarkWing Duck 91’ universe| Zeke Corvo and Dave “dorky” Curant (belongs to @dorky-crow )

Minor violence, Abuse mention

A/N a simple story about these two.

____________________________________________________________________________

“You know my boy, one thing I want you to keep in mind is no matter what you can not ever let someone take power away from you.“

Zeke looked up at his grandfather taking his attention away from the board game about to ask something when he heard the sudden clack oh his grandfather’s king move. Claiming a win.

"What hey” Zeke said in protest as his grandfather only laughed.

“You also shouldn’t lose focus on your goals.” The elder parrot said with a teasing chuckle as he ruffled Zeke’s hair.

A memory of the dracula parrot always held dear to his very being. Which amounted to nothing when that swift kicked to his side landed. Forcing him to cough up blood to the floor. Just some failed attempt he used to distract himself that morning.

“Those days of leisure are far gone Zeke best keep that in mind next time.” His father said coldly as he settled into his chair for breakfast.

Zeke’s blood boiled recalling it now. How he wished he could strike back, knowing he couldn’t might have felt even worse as he wiped the blood off his beak. Using the boys bathroom mirror to make sure it was all gone. Sighing annoyed with himself as he gripped onto the sink tightly enough to make his knuckles pop out. This was getting more and more irritating. Slowly he let go and walked away seeing his reflection just made him more annoyed.

Classes had not started just yet so the building wasn’t too full which made it easy to go unnoticed. Zeke seemed to not be the only one to take advantage of that. As he suddenly heard the sound of crying?

Zeke peeked into the classroom it came from and saw a small back bird sitting at one of the desks in the room. He was heavily crying holding a tattered book to his chest. Zeke was curious so he walked in and made his way over. The black bird hadn’t noticed him still as Zeke looked at him a moment. He was so small was his first thought. The way he wept so openly visibly shaking as he tried breathing to calm down. Zeke pulled out a chair dragging it so the sound would alert the bird to his presence.

“Wha!” He chirped out as he looked past his tears to the parrot. “O oh uh I thought I was alone” he said as he tried to cover the fact he was crying.

“Is there a reason you’re hiding out here?” Zeke asked as he rested his head on his hand.

“Hiding n no I” he let out a sigh as he wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt.

Man he looked pathetic Zeke thought as the bird slowly moved the book in hands away from his chest. Zeke could see it more clearly now. The book was ripped along its spine, with pages that had been yanked out. The cover had been damaged pretty badly as well, but Zeke could still get an idea on what it was. A book of fairy tales. Zeke was slightly annoyed at the black bird’s lack of a response.

“Well are you going to speak or are you going to make me wait?” Zeke said a bit demanding

“I thought if I made them something, that maybe that would stop all the bullying.” The bird started to explain well looking over his book. “They are always picking on me. Mocking me.” He trailed off a moment “so I thought maybe if I tried to be nice they would be I don’t know moved? So I baked some cookies to give them."

As the bird was explaining his story Zeke was listening but also lost in thought. Thinking about it now he did know this guy. He’d seen the bird in the halls before. Kids would often shove by him and always called him something. What was it again? Dorky? Was that his name? Who would name their kid that? that couldn’t be his real name. Zeke looked back to the bird as he was explaining how his bullies had found the book in his backpack and took it from him. Explaining how they each took turns looking at it each of them damaging it as it passed between them.

This kid just took it though allowed them to take something from him. His power. Zeke almost laughed with that thought. This kid was like him powerless. Zeke gritted his teeth a bit when he noticed the bird had stopped talking and was staring at him. Zeke took that as a chance to speak, he leaned over a bit resting his elbows on the desk the black bird was sitting in.

"Tell me, when they did that all to you what were you thinking?”

“What was I thinking? What do you mean?”

Zeke moved in closer causing the black bird to back up a bit his chair as Zeke’s eyes set on him and his smile grew.

“Well those bullies destroyed your gesture of friendship right? And they.” Zeke gently touched the tattered book in the black birds hands and slowly took it from him trying to emphasize his point as he held it up.

“Something you treasured so dearly was so carelessly treated. What exactly was running through your mind watching them destroy this?"

The black bird seemed to take a moment to process that as he averted his gaze a moment.

"I was angry.” He said it so softly “I dont get why. Why do they target me! Why do they…” he slowly trailed off like he didn’t want to continue that thought.

Zeke just smiled and handed the book back to him.

“If that’s the case I’ll offer to get back at them for you?" Zeke said. There really wasn’t much reason behind his offer other than vicariously getting to unleash his own pent up anger.

“Get back at them what do you mean by that?”

Zeke’s smile grew dangerous. For some reason this was fun trying to get this naive boy to let in to a side of himself he may have never thought of before. This kid was likely loved and dotted on by his parents. Friendly to everyone even if someone tried to hurt him his first thought was to offer friendship instead. Yeah this was a fun distraction for the parrot, how much influence would it take. Zeke placed his hands on the desk and slightly lean in close to the black bird.

“I think you know” He simply stated.

He could see the idea shocked the other boy as his eyes widened a moment his pupils started to dart around like facing Zeke would be admitting something he didn’t want to. The black bird slightly gulped once Zeke’s eyes were in his sight.

“It makes you feel weak and powerless doesn’t it? Makes you wish they knew how it felt?” Zeke said protecting a bit but it seemed his words carried some weight. “Tell you what I’ll do it just for a simple yes.” Because getting this ‘sweet’ kid to admit these things was payment in itself.

“Yes.”

It was soft again even more quiet then before. Zeke just smiled in response.

The black bird was told by the parrot to wait behind the building once school ended. He wasn’t sure if this had anything to do with what they talked about, he wasn’t serious about that right? As he rounded the corner though he saw a few of those kids laying on the ground, they were hurt that was for sure. Laying on the ground holding onto themselves for an ounce of comfort the black bird looked up to see the parrot holding the group leader by the collar of his shirt.He dropped the kid the moment he saw the black bird and walked over to him.

“Well there you are thought you were going to miss my surprise.” Zeke said as he placed a hand on black bird’s shoulder once he was at his side. Giving him a full view of the battered birds in front of them.

“Now then you remember what I said right?” Zeke asked the group of boys on the ground. He got no answer though “Hmm let me say that again. What did I tell you to say?!”

“L leave Dorky alone.” One of the boys mustered the courage to say.

Zeke just smiled and looked down at the black bird. “Yeah I was gonna say be nice to you but I don’t find them worth your time. They hardly put up a fight.” Zeke turned away leading the black bird along with him as he made his way to the front of the school slowly moving his hand off the small birds shoulder.

“There you go told you I’d handle it. Guess it was more my own satisfaction though but hey I only asked for a yes after all.” Zeke said as he started to walk ahead of the black bird ready to take off.

“T then I should pay you back!”

Zeke stopped and looked back at him, he wasn’t really expecting that response, he figured the guy would get scared off. The little black bird closed the gap between them, fussing with his hands trying to get his words out. Zeke went to leave again when suddenly he felt the kid grab onto his hand to stop him.

“I can bake you something in return uh what kind of sweets do you like?!” he shouted a bit, seeming to find the courage to speak now.

“Iced lemon bread.” Zeke was thrown off a bit that his answer came out so automatic.

“Really? That’s kind of a surprise. Well I’ll make some for you and bring it tomorrow!” The little bird said before letting go of Zeke’s hand. “I don’t know when to meet up but um do you come to school early like today normally?” He smiled when Zeke nodded “Great then uh we can meet here! Alright don’t forget!”

He smiled brightly and suddenly ran off almost skipping as he did. Zeke just watched him leave bewildered at what just happened. He then looked down at his hand. It felt kind of cold now without the kid’s grip on it . Zeke closed his hand, and was quick to feel stupid when he thought it would keep the warmth that way. He let out an aggravated sigh and shoved his hands into his pockets. Looking over to that bird as he climbed into the car that was waiting to pick him up.

“His name isn’t really dorky right?

#oc fic #when you befriend the king #zeke corvo

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whyldkratts · 8 years ago

Note

for the ask meme: all of them, but if thats too much maybe just the last 10?

Sorry for the long post aaaa1: Let’s start with a tricky one; what is the real reason you are confused right now? [I bought lottery tickets bc I was in texas and they’re not legal where I live and the cashier at the gas station didn’t even ask for my id. I tried to show him and he just shook his head and let me go???? He didnt even care wtf]2: Do you ever get “good morning” texts from anyone? [Nah]3: If your significant other smoked pot, would you care? [Yea a little bit. I mean if it was just occasionally that’s probably fine? But a lot of my family has fucked up their entire lives with drugs so anything like that is iffy for me. It depends on how often they smoke ultimately]4: Do you find it easy to trust others? [I’d say yeah, probably. As long as you don’t fuck me over or guilt me within the first few weeks of knowing me id probably feel comfortable messaging you if I needed someone to talk to]5: What were you doing at 11PM last night? [Scrolling Tumblr]6: You’re drunk and lost walking down the road; who is with you? [Probably my irl bffs lindy and raven!]7: What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on? [Dump them. Adios fucker. I hope they’re happy with whoever they cheated on me with]8: Are you close with your dad? [Yeah I’d say so? I love him and he usually let’s me do my thing]9: I bet you kissed someone last night, right? [Nah]10: What are you listening to? [Run by hozier]11: You can only drink ONE liquid for the rest of your life - what is it? [Sweet tea!!!! I’m from the south baby]12: Do you like hickeys? [Never has one so I don’t know!]13: What time do you go to bed? [Uhhhhhh 5am?]14: Is there someone who continuously lets you down? [My siblings.]15: Can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both? [Nope I fuck up spelling a lot and have to go back and fix it no matter how many hands I’m typing with]16: Do you always answer your texts? [I try!! Unless I’m emotionally tired or forget]17: Do you hate the person you fell the hardest for? [No. She’s my best friend now, actually]18: When was the last time you talked to one of your best friends? [LIKE 3 MINUTES AGO I was complaining about how long it car ride home is]19: Is there someone that makes you happy every time you see them? [My irlbest friends, the cars discord chat I’m in, and a lot of my wk friends]20: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night? [I was writing ducktales fanfiction in my head]21: Is anyone else in the room with you? [I’m in a car with my mom for the next uhhh 7 hours?]22: Do you believe what goes around comes around? [Karmas a bitch]23: Were you happier four months ago than you are now? [I was visiting family in Indiana, so yea probably? Tho I am pretty happy now too]24: Is there someone you wish you could fix things with? [Sometimes, with my old pal cat. She did some bad things so I stopped talking to her, but sometimes I want to catch up and see how she’s doing.]25: In the past week, have you cried? [YEAH over a darkwing duck episode]26: What colour is the shirt you are wearing? [Grey. It has Mickey mouse on it!]27: Do people ever call you by your last name? [Noooope]28: Is anyone ignoring you right now? [I wouldn’t know]29: Do you have a best friend? [YEAH everyone in the cars discord and raven and lindy]30: Would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed? [No it was my great grandma lol]31: Who was your last call/text message from? [Call: red cross asking for my blood. Text: raven saying “dang”]32: Are you mad at anyone? [Not really? I don’t get angry very easily at all]33: Have you ever kissed someone older than you? [When I was a freshman I was dating a junior]34: How old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday? [My great grandma! 88 I think]35: How many more days until your birthday? [LIKE a whole entire year. August 2nd]36: Do you have any summer plans yet? [Help my friend after her spine surgery p much. Visit family around the 4th of july]37: Do you have any good friends of the opposite sex? [I have tons of girl friends!! All my best friends are girls (except em but they’re a good friend still!!!)]38: Are you keeping anything from your best friend(s) now? [Lindy doesn’t know I’m trans]39: Do you have a secret that you’ve never told anyone? [Uhhhhhhhhhhh next question]40: Have you ever regretted kissing someone? [I try not to regret things like that]41: Do you think age matters in relationships? [UH YEAH?? An adult dating a minor ain’t my deallll]42: Are you available? [Lmfao yeah but don’t hold your breath I’m awful at relationships]43: How many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended? [My ex and bff dksdkdiajsai kill Me. I’ve had small crushes but I don’t rly let them grow too much if I realize they’re poppin up]44: If you had to get a piercing (not ears), what would you get? [Septum]45: Do you believe exes can be friends? [Yeah!!!!! I just reconnected with my ex from freshmen year and he’s cool]46: Do you regret anything? [Times where my mouth moved before my head could think and I hurt someone I cared about. Times where I didn’t listen. Times where I hesitated. But the past is a different country, and I try not to waste the present lamenting what I could’ve done.]47: Honestly, what’s on your mind right now? [Home. And the mistakes I’ve made.]48: Did you ever lose a best friend? [Yeah. She moved away and we just… talked less, and less, and less.]49: Was your last kiss a mistake? [Nah it was my great grandma]50: Why aren’t you pursuing the person you like? [They have a bf and also dont like me plus im unlovable and bad at relationships and feelings *shrug emoji* the other person I’m interested in lives too far away and also doesn’t like me like that]51: Has the last person you kissed ever seen you cry? [Twas my gg and probably when I was a baby]52: Do you still talk with the person you LAST kissed? [All these last kiss ones are so angsty and sad and it was literally my grandma 5 hours ago I’m laughing]53: What was the last thing you ate? [McDonald’s French fries!!!!!]54: Did you get any compliments today? [Nah I’m in my road trip attire so I look like a mess]55: Where are you going on your next vacation? [New Orleans in October for voodoo fest!! Gonna see the foo fighters B)]56: Do you own anything from other countries?[I think I have Canadian money somewhere…]57: Are most of your friend guys or girls?[girls!!]58: Where have you lived most of your life?[Sweet Home Alabama]59: When was the last time you took a long drive?[DOING IT RN!!!!! 13 HOURS]60: Have you ever played Spin the Bottle?[yea but it was like, mashed up with truth or dare. Instead of kissing we asked them truth or dare]61: Have you ever TPd someone’s house?[nah I’m pretty mild]62: Who do you text the most?[raven probably? Or max]63: What was the last movie you saw?[spirited away I think??? First time I ever saw it]64: What’s preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?[I’m single, don’t remind me :P]65: How many boyfriends/girlfriends did you have in 2011?[I was 12 and right smack dab in the middle of my ugly awkward phase (thays still going on today!) So I had none lmao]66: Is the last person you kissed younger than you?[nah]67: Do you curse around your parents?[GOOD LORD NO]68: Are you happy with where you live?[I? Hate Alabama. My city is okay but I want to move somewhere nicer]69: Picture of yourself? [I have a selfie tag. I would upload but I’m lazy. Maybe if I find a pic I like later I will]70: Are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open-ended relationships?[polyamory All the wayy!!!!! But monogamy is cool too]71: Have you ever been dumped?[probably in elementary school but I don’t remember? I usually am the one to end it bc I get freaked out and skittish around people genuinely caring about me so I break it up before they’re disappointed]72: What do you most like about making out?[being comfortable and close enough with someone to do it.]73: Have you ever casually made out with someone who you weren’t seriously involved with?[yup!]74: When you kiss someone for the first time, is it usually you who initiates it or the other?[depends? I’ve asked to kiss someone and I’ve been asked equal amounts.]75: What part of a person’s body do you find most attractive?[eyes? Idk there’s a lot that goes into finding someone attractive it’s hard to narrow it down]76: Who was the last person you talked to last night before you went to bed?[my mom]77: Had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?[virgin]78: Had sex with someone you didn’t know their name?[virgin]79: What makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?[Any cartoon character I’m currently hyperfixated on]80: Would you get involved with someone if they had a child already?[yes. But i would go slow and I wouldn’t want to meet their child until we were both sure this was something we wanted long term.]81: Has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?[no its usually me? Wait i take that back!! One girl did while I was in hs but I’m pretty sure she only did it bc she just figured out her sexuality and I was queer and there.]82: Do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?[nope I bottle that shit up!!!! But if it’s a long standing crush I’ll tell a few people eventually]83: Do you miss your last sweetie?[No.]84: Last time you slow danced with someone?[my friend Franklin at prom. We pretended to be spies on a mission forced to act casual as we scoped out potential enemies]85: Have you ever ‘dated’ someone you’ve never met?[??? Don’t like the skeptical quote marks. I’ve been in long distance relationships before, yes.]86: How can I win your heart?[just like…… be nice to me, ever, and I’m into it. Talk about things you like, ask me about things I like, try and get into/understand my interests and I’ll do the same?? Don’t make fun of me and don’t belittle my interests. The bar is low]87: What is your astrological sign?[leo]88: What were you doing last night at 12 AM?[sleeping]89: Do you cook?[pasta!!!!!!!]90: Have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than 3 months of no communication?[yeah!!! 3 years of no talking and I reconnected with max recently]91: If you’re single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?[uh it’s complicated. Yes but idk if I’m in a good place for a relationship. I haven’t even begun to transition at all.]92: Do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?[you say that like I could get multiple people to date me]93: What physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?[nice dress style?? Glasses are good too. Idk questions like this are hard augh]94: Name four things that you wish you had![money, a job, plush darkwing duck toy, a car]95: Are you a player?[no]96: Have you ever kissed 2 people in one day?[nooooope]97: Are you a tease?[hahahahaha no]98: Ever meet anyone you met on Tumblr?[nope!!! Not yet]99: Have you ever been deeply in love with someone?[maybe. But I don’t think you can love someone too deeply who doesn’t love you back]100: Anybody on Tumblr that you’d go on a date with?[sure, plenty]101: Hugs or Kisses?[both??? Both is good]102: Are you too shy to ask someone out?[It’s Not shyness, it’s rejection I have a problem with]103: The first thing you notice about the opposite sex?[girls are pretty]104: Is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?[Yeah I guess]105: If a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew he/she was in relationship, would you go for it?[If it was an open relationship and everyone knew the situation, then yea prob?? If not, then no.]106: Do you flirt a lot?[not really]107: Your last kiss?[my grandmaaaaa]108: Have you kissed more than 5 people since the start of 2012?[not in a romantic way]109: Have you kissed anyone in the past month?[not in a romantic way]110: If you could kiss anyone who would it be?[next question]111: Do you know who you’ll kiss next?[nope!! It’s a hopefully nice surprise for future me]112: Does someone like you currently?[probably not lol but ive got no idea!!]113: Do you currently have feelings for anyone?[sure]114: Do you like to be in serious relationships or just flings?[I want to fall in love.]115: Ever made out with just a friend?[yeah]116: Are you happier single or in a relationship?[in a relationship I think?]117: Your own question that you want me to answer. Just write it.[just send me an ask and ill answer it]

This got a bit of self hatred dashed in there whoops sorry!!!

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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Ducktales Treasure of the Golden Sun: Three Ducks of the Condor or Now with More Racism!

Hello all you happy people! And welcome back to my look at Ducktales: Treasure of the Golden Suns!, the pilot episodes that started it all. This look was one of my patreon stretch goals. To explain them in case some of you aren’t familiar with patreon it’s essentially like a kickstarter stretch goal: every milestone I reach in my monthly earnings means a crop of reviews for you guys, with this being 10 and my review of the movie, and the goofy movies in two weeks and September respectively, being the 15 dollar one. So if you want reviews of the OTHER Ducktales mini series Time Is Money and Super DuckTales, then hop on aboard and help me reach my 20 dollar goal so I can keep making these reviews for a living and give you all more. Said goal also includes a Darkwing Duck review eveyr month AND a review of teh Danny Phantom special The ULtimate Enemy so hop on board HERE AT MY PATREON. Patrons also get exclusive reviews, access to my discord server (Though if anyone would be more intrersted in me making that public let me know), and to pick a short each time I do a birthday special for a character from Looney Tunes, Disney and Beyond. And next month is my boy Donald’s so since you all already sat out goofy NOW is the time.

So now my very necessary plug is out of the way, i’m very poor, we can get to the review proper:

When last we left off Scrooge and the Boys went on their first proper adventure together, heading to Central America to follow the map from the first episode and running into Dr.Claw El Capitan and his new best buddy Glomgold. Mild racisim, moonsoons and much better pacing ensued.

So join me under the cut as my boy Donald returns, some iconic characters are introduced in Webby, Launchpad and Beakly, though this series only made one of them iconic to be fair, and we get some more mild racisim because fuck my life. Onward to the cut!

So yeah as I’ve mentioned a few times now this episode had a content warning.. which was fair as there is some pretty cringy stuff in here but it had the side effect of me holding my breath until the racisim came up and whapped me in the face. So i’m keeping that tension up for you guys so I don’t have to suffer alone.

We open at the Mansion. Scrooge is trying to find a governess for the boys, but they keep scaring off all the clients because they don’t like the idea. And for once.. i’m on Scrooge’s side here. Yes I know there’s a sterotype of rich people hiring a nanny to not have to parent. and it’s sadly often true and it’d SEEM like Scrooge is doing that.. but really he just wants the boys to be safe. He’s fully grown to care for them and just wants someone cheap and responsible to look after them while he’s busy and clearly still makes time for them. As someone who is a former nanny, albeit for someone working class, I get that as much as you WANT to spend every moment with your kid you often can’t. I say all this because SO MANY kids movies and shows villianize parents for not spending time with their kid when their clearly just working to support them. There are nuanced exceptions to this and refreshingly Craig of the Creek has outright avoided this: JP’s mom is gone almost all the time due to working as an airline pilot, but while he clearly misses her he never resents her or guilts her over it, he understands sh’es supporting him and goes out of his way to make sure his friends can meet her. It’s really swee.t And while again I get it, this guys a billionare, most examples aren’t, Scrooge still really CAN’T stop working: He has more money than god and like most bilionares REALLY should give most of it to charity or to help with programs instead of hoarding it in a massive bin.. but he’s also got tons of companies, factories, investments... people COUNTING on him to make sure these are working correctly and keep their jobs. So yeah i’ts nice that the show isn’t demonizing scrooge for this or dosen’t even consider it: he’s getting help beacuse he needs it, that’s what’s important.

So while the boys widdle down the nannies, Scrooge talks to a renowned coin collector. He does show off his collection to the guy, but his main goal is naturally to show him the coin from last time. Turns out that naturally for a five part episode the treasure they lost last time was just a fraction of the real thing and the real titular treasure is a mythical horde even Scrooge, who normally has proved something out of myth is very real 5 times before breakfast, didn’t think existed.

Something I do love about this five parter is how every treasure hunt has ended up being important each piece of the puzzle leading to the next like any good treasure hunt. As for where this one leads the collector HAS heard of only one other coin like it, up in the Andes Mountains in a mysterious fortress whose mountain habitat and being a fortress makes it hard to get to and the owner is apparently a real piece of work.. but Scrooge isn’t afraid of a little hard work and is ready to go after it.. he just has to find a Nanny first.

And he does as there’s only one left: Mrs. Beakley, who we FINALLY meet after two episodes. Yeah for some weird reasont his episode choose to cram the rest of the major main and supporting cast into one episode.. it still works, they all still get great introductions it’s just weird to me when you have five episodes to not say introduce Launchpad last time.

But regardless as I said it’s a good intro.. despite the boys wilding a lasso and a snake.

Beakly is unphased and even dosen’t remotely fall for them trying to say she got the wrong name. And while Scrooge is a little impressed, he’s even more when she states she’ll work for free... with one condition: Free room and board for her and her grandaughter, Webby, who has been there the whole time and looking cute as a button. Scrooge is unsure but one minute of Webby being adorable later and he’s agreed. She can’t eat much right? He also hopes she’ll help the boys not be douchebags, unaware that their inherent poorly written sexisim means that was never going to work. And why yes I will call it out eveyr time it happens because it happens every time they have an episode together and only gets worse.

He goes to Gyro for help and Classic Gyro.. is utterly delightful. While I clearly have issues with Classic Scrooge, whose a greedy poorly aged asshat and the boys, who are sterotypes of male children, Gyro? He’s nice, friendlya nd eccentric, using a delightfully wakcky pogo hat thing to think and takes only a mintue to figure out how to solve a seemingly unsolvable problem and only needs a few hours to build his cool looking bird ship, using bird legs to offset the hard to sort out landing conditions. But since it’s a fancy bitch, it needs a pilot and i’m sure we all know where this is going...but since Carol Danver sis busy he has to go with Launchpad.

Launchpad’s intro is great, cheerful as he does a job testing a plane and naturally crashes it, and when thought dead walks out seconds later unharmed and jolly as ever. Scrooge is naturally terrified of the prospect of flying with him but dosen’t really have another choice “I hope my insurance is paid up.” Scrooge it’s you.. of course it isn't.

So with that our hero bids a farewell to the boys and ends up unteitonally coming off MASSIVELY unlikeable. No really he leaves them behind for their saftey despite needing help... and then upon finding out Donald is going to be on leave soon in the andes, and just assumes that YOU KNOW, he’d LIKE to go on a dangerous exausting adventure instead of actually get some rest after working in the goddamn navy and STILL dosen’t take the kids along despite having a very tearjerking farewell IN FRONT OF HIM that happened at most a month ago. Granted i’m suprised Donald is getting leave this soon.. but since I genuinely like to look into this sort of thing and the last time I didn’t I was correctly reminded Gulliver’s Travels was a satire.. and found out someone HAD actually watched the Jack Black movie. I only vaugely remember a trailer.. I thinkn it was a trailer? Maybe it was the middle part of a juinor novelzation where htey have all the photos? I really don’t know. I know almost every pokemon on sight but not where I saw pictures of a forgetable jack black movie, what a shock.

So long story short I DID google it. Here’s what I got

So given clealry more time has passed than we’ve seen on screen, enough time COULD have passed for Donald’s three day pass to kick in. So credit to the crew for actually thinking that out. They still get all the blame though for not only not seeing how bad not taking the kids to see the uncle whose like a father to them a month after he left when he CLEARLY can is bad, but how worse it is that the first break donald gets ina month.. is spent helping scrooge against his will on a life or death treasure hunt.

And I get WHY they wanted to try out having Donald on an adventure: he was in most of the carl barks material.... but I also dont’ get it as Launchpad was deisgned entirely to fill in for Donald when needed, we’re only three episodes into the series and this gives the wrong impression Donald will guest star a lot more. In practice while he still did get a meaty 8 episodes on the show including this one, 2 of which were cameos and the pilot only dosne’t count because of the exnteded slapstick sequence, and dosen’t appear at all after season 1, likely because Fenton’s introduction made him reduntant as he was an even more blatant Donald stand-in. It just feels weird to shove him into the pilot movie when we should be focusing on our main cast, epsecially with so many getting intorduced this episode. It woudl’ve made more sense for Gyro to be the third man instead and it woud’ve elmaited Scrooge’s uttelry horrible actions here of depriving his nephews of their surrogate father.

So Uncle Dickstick leaves with Launchpad to go abduct donald.... and tha’ts not me being funny, that’s what actually happens. Donald is singing out on leave.. with his superior... weirdly doing paper work outside on the flight deck.

And is angry at Donald because of him taking pictures and stuff and threatens him if he’s not back exactly in time... because look he’s on a boat with a bunch of sweaty men but as the most superior officer he can’t enjoy that so he has to get off SOMEHOW and ruining donald’s life just happens ot be a thing for him.

So yeah Scrooge straight up naps Donald via claw and Donald is angry, wondering, as you’d expect “What’s the big idea”.. and once Scrooge clairfies he did it.. still asks that because what the fuck. And the episode treats this as comical, as it does Launchpad not understanding Donald.. and don’t get me wrong you CAN make a good “I can’t understand Donald Duck” joke, the 2017 series made PLENTY. But said series also spoiled me as they did it with far more effort, while also still showing just how much it would suck to have everyone around you struggle to hear what you say and never listen to you. They actually cared abotu Donald’s well being where as this one thinks “Gee you knwo what would go great iwth a hard month’s naval work? MORE WORK HELPING YOUR UNCLE GET RICHER FOR NO PERSONAL BENIFIT AFTER HE KIDNAPS YOU”.

So our heroes.. and scrooge, head to Andes and find the temple and it’s here “Sigh” we met our antagonist. A Conquestador Douche who DOES have a name and it is on the wiki.. but is so generic and unlikeble I’m just going to keep calling him conquestador douche, whose introduced waving his sun coin around while the natives all bow to him because of the coin.

Welcome to the racisim! Admitely it’s not as bad as Treasure of the Lost Lamp, that’s a high bar to clear, but ti’s still not great to have the racist cliche of “character conquers a civilization because of they belivie he’s a messenger for their “silly” god”. And the saddest part is not that I didn’t notice this trope and how bad it was as a kid watching shows like this... but that as an ADULT about 4 years ago when I watched this episode how racist it and this trope in general was didn’t register to me at all. That.. really bothers me that it took me this long to pick up on things like this and i’m sorry for it.

That’s honestly WHY we need these warnings and WHY i’m so hard on this racisim: it wasn’t necessary, it could’ve been removed and you clearly just didn’t care or didn’t realize it was racist. And even acceptable for the time dosen’t work for anymore: I learned recently that the creators of Fresh Prince of Bel-Air, both white, hired black writers..and actually LISTENED, looking to them for personal stories and to check them if one of the white staff wrote something that wasn’t true to the black experience. I know that sounds like the bare minimum but this was the early 90′s, that kind of thinking wasn’t hte norm like it is in most writer’s rooms now.. and sadly not ALL writer’s rooms. Not only that but just today I ran into a MST3K skit that lampooned this kind of bullshit from not long after this episode. People clearly knew better, the writers of this episode just didn’t’t care

So yeah, I get this was a kids show in the 80′s, I get the writing staff being almost all white.. but they still coudl’ve avoided cliche sterotypes and done something diffrent. It was was still wiithin white people like myselves power to actually think about something other htan themselves and we did not. So i’m never going to stop holding my own people accountable for just how BADLY we’ve fucked up in ways great and small because it still hasn’t stopped , likely never will so I won’t.

But yeah.... the tribe here are portrayed as ignorant, mindless dumbasses who blindly follow tradition and a clearly corrupt leader. It’s patronizingly stupid to assume just because a belief system is diffrent than yours a person will belieive anything. Religion CAN make people act stupid, the fact many people are homophobic simply because the bible, a centuries old document written and distrbuted by humans that could of been altered by people with a clear homophobic agenda, says they should be. But there’s the very clear very gross implication here that any god but the christian god is invalid and simplifies wonderful and well thought out myths and beliviefs from various cultures into “well they belivie in da sun god because of the shiny coin”. It’s gross, i’m glad it’s stopped and it’s VERY telling that the closest Ducktales 2017 came to this was the most dangerous game night which while a tad cringe inducing at least showed the tribe it used was clever, disposed the person they mistook for a god after it was clear he wasn’t one , and were wholly sympathetic.

Naturally Conquistadouche orders the tribe to attack Scrooge and it works briefly , though Scrogoe prepares to take on the ENTIRE villiage.. and given this is Scrooge and on this blog we’ve seen him take on an entire town before, and that was a more inexpericed less bastardly scrooge yeah their fucked, and only escape death because the coin falls out of scrooge’s coat when he tries to help donald who naturally injures himself trying to help.

And since as per white dumbass racist logic, the villiagers thought Conquistadipshit was a messenger of the gods because of his coin, they think the same of Scrooge, this causes them to stop and bow instead and protect scrooge when Conquistadumbass tries to attack our heroes. Their given a room for the night naturally.

Conquistadick demands they give him the coin and leave, but Scrooge has none of that: he has no reason to leave and has all the leverage so he instead demands to know wha’ts going on.

Turns out Conquisineart is the decdendant of one of the crew from the ship Scrooge found: their captain rain off with it, leaving two of his men behind, though both had the map to the rest of the treasure and split it: one left for the Arctic, the other stayed and did the whole racist god bit. And somehow despite all the time passing Conquistadoodoohead still has his half and Scrooge aranges a trade for the coin. And why yes their is the obvious problem of “what if Conquistascoobydoo say tells them he’s the true god and attacks scrooge like he ends up doing in the climax”. And Scrooge’s plan.. is to have the plane ready and to run to it, despite Launchpad not being a mechanic and saying as much. Instead of you know... stealing the guy’s coin while he’s asleep or something or just having launchpad, whose bigger and stronger and donald whose not bigger but is also stronger hold the guy while Scrooge steals his sun coin, then simply walks to the plane with the map, the coins and all the leverage. at worst the guy tries to do the same scheme without any coins and as the end of the episode shows, that wouldn’t have worked. He was stupid. Oh and the cherry on top of this shit sundae is scrooge objects to the guys tyranical rule.. but is okay with letting it keep going if he gets his coin and DOnlad, whose there for the deal, never call shim on it.

We then get a bit of Launchpad being forced off a cliff to ride a giant Condor...

Look this episode is filled with racisit sterotypes, a generic villian and Scrogoe being awful. I’ll take a fun sequence of Launchpad riding a condor, with Donald providing an assit with his camera by blinding the beast so Launchpad can ride him properly giving them more leverage now Launchpad is popular. And a deadline to fix things by tommorow.

The next day Launchapd and Donald have defied logic and their own tendency to screw up and fixed the bird, while Scrooge makes the deal.. and naturally it goes EXACTLY how you’d expect and Scrooge runs, though our real heroes get thigns running.

That’s when the people arrive on condors to persue, a fight insues yoru standard hero stuff.. not bad but given the racist context I can’t really enjoy it like Launchpad flying a condor.. which had some mild racisim in them making him do that as a ritual clearly deisgned to kill him but i’llt ake mild over pretty damn obvious. Eventually douchebag looses his coins, his ctizens abndon him. Happy end.

So with the map Scrooge decides to do the logical thing.... have launchpad drop him in the middle of the ocean in a raft and steer there

Launchpad takes Donald home in time and his superior is mad he dosen’t give him a proper salute.. even though he CLEARLY just got home and is diisorented from a crash. Launchpad makes a quip and this episode mercifully ends.

Final Thoughts:

This episode starts out okay.. but quickly goes downhill fast and steep. There are massive bits of racisim, massive leaps in logic, and massive amoutns of scrooge being a dick.. not his WORST in this series but it’s still bad. It’s just not very good. It’s the second worst episode of Ducktales i’ve seen, only held up by my boys Donald and Launchpad. This was miserable.

Next Time on Treasure of the Golden Suns: Our heroes head to the arctic for another offensive episode to rescue scrooge from his own stupidity. Next Time on this Blog: We return to Green Eggs and Ham and hop on a train as our raging bitchcanoe mother and daughter duo meat our ambigiouslyg ay duo at last.

See you at the next rainbow.

#ducktales #donald duck #scrooge mcduck #launchpad mcquack #huey duck #louie duck #dewey duck #bentina beakley #webby vanderquack #gyro gearloose #treasure of the golden suns

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popculturebuffet · 4 years ago

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The Legend of the Three Caballeros: World Tree Caballeros and No Man is an Easter Island aka Whelp, Xandra Sucks Now.

Salduos Amigos! We’re back.. and today we have two Cabs episodes.. because the top 20 of 2020 list last week took a day longer than expected, so that meant I had a day of my schedule go thbbt and thus had to compress a bit, like the darkwing reviews i’ve done but not NEARLY as much. And if this works out I intend to do more cabs 2 or evne 3 in ones in the future to help speed along the finale. Still giving Kev his 55 bucks worth mind you, just speeding it up a bit in case anything comes back, and because I have a lot of double and triple reviews coming in Feburary due to a very tight schedule, so might as well train for it now.So with that in mind, WELCOME BACK TO THE RIDE OF THE THREE CABLLEROS, and the legend of the three cablleros. I can fit in what little exposition there is on the way, so on with the show after the cut!

World-Tree Caballeros: We pick up where we left off last time: Sheldgoose and co are returning to earth, and it’s been a few weeks, in story time, with Sheldgoose exausted and hungry and Feldrake.. not exactly getting that minons need food to live and wanting to jump right into destroying the Caballeros since their right next door. And while ignoring his minon’s basic needs is just.. dumb, I do appricate that Felldrake is the kind of villian who dosen’t stupidly not attack the heroes if he knows where they are and does try blasting them, with Sheldgoose in his cloak of course to avoid any deniablility. I mean Sheldgoose is impossibly wealthy and in disguise here. No court is going to convict him. But there is a reasonable explination why they can’t do that: since Clinton wasn’t stupid he put up magical protections over the Cabana and while Feldrake COULD break them.. he can’t do it with as little power as he currently has in the staff and has an idea where to get it. But Leopold’s bushed from taking them all the way back from space, to Feldrake’s disapointment so Sheldgoose.. simply offers up his private plane, then uses his mass wealth to get them all the way to their destination the World Tree... yes the NORSE World Tree... in italy.

Yeah you can probably tell there were some rewrites here. This ep, given it features Yddrasil, was SUPPOSED to be about the Norse gods.. but Marvel didn’t want “brand confusion” with THE MIGHTY THOR!

Which originally I scoffed at a bit. Mostly because why would you, Disney, one of the biggest brands in the world NOT want a potetinal crossover with your other properties? I mean .. is this why we haven’t had mickey and friends in avengers costumes yet? If so... BOOOO. Why would you buy Marvel without this ever happening? You put fucking light sabers in kickin it, one of your lesser live action shows though olivia holt is neat and Rudy was alright, but... you won’t put MIGHTY THOR, in a donald duck series? Especially since you already used marvel in one of your shows?

The cat is out of the bag.. just let crossovers happen dude. Your not giving us any decent marvel animated series, and only What If is on the docket for now the future. WHy not? I wasn’t the fondest of the idea at first but then I realized “Wait this could be awesome and rediculous”. And again you’ve already hit a low bar for using this stuff.. just use it. That being said, while we’ll get to it in a moment.. I do get WHY they didn’t let them use the norse gods... possibly.. but it does seem like they really dot’ like crossing the streams character wise and that bothers me it bothers me a lot.

So yeah the world tree is in the snow capped mountains of italy.. which they might have so touche, and the montage of Sheldgoose getting there is great as is Feldrake’s reaction of “Eh i’ts no leopold”. Aw he loves his monkeybatdonkeyrat. So they open the entrance and prepare to go up the massive flight of stairs... only for Sheldgoose to point out the elevator. Which they take instead. I will say Feldrake’s characteriztation.. slipped a bit in these two. It’ snot bad, he’s by now supposed to be someone who WAS so powerful, they don’t get the concept of finesse and it works better next episode.. but hear a good chunk of the episode is just Feldrake shoutng at Sheldgoose and complaning a lot and even at one point tripping over himself with his own stupidity. We’ll get to that. Point is it’s a bit of a step down from last episode but as a result Sheldgoose gets to shine a bit more with Wayne Knight getting more lines to really go full newman and become a smug yet clever jackass. SO it’s a trade off I guess and it does ballance out next time.

So back at the Cabs Cabana, our heroes are having pop corn fights, which Xandra joins in on... this was the intro but I put it here...

Point is next time we see them our heroes are all cataloging everything with the girls help, including a positivity totem, this generation’s talky toster. Xandra gets enraptured with a phone but gets defensive when being called out of date and mocked by the girls. This is SUPPPOSED to set up a character arc for her and I was excited for Xandra to get an episode but we’ll get to that disappointment soon enough. The point is our team gets the call to adventure. And Xandra’s excited because the roman gods, old friends of hers are at the world tree. The Roman Gods are what the planets are named after and are mushed together with the greek gods for reasons I didn’t have time to look into. This review is late as is. Point is they don’t get used as much likely because of the planet thing and the greek gods having a wider range of gods at that with better names. I mean Hades just.. sounds more godly than Pluto. Posiden sounds just as badass as Neptune if not more and Jupiter just dosen’t have hte same wring Zeus was. But for today the only Roman Gods present are Jupiter, Venus and Mars, stand ins for Odin, Frigg and THE MIGHTY THOR respectively in this case but still drawn uniquely. She’s excited to show the boys them and ports them. THIS TIME, the port isn’t you know, stupidly placed and the desert thing seems to have been a one off fluke, and easily could’ve been where a city WAS, but again that could’ve been mentioned. Here it’s just at the foot of the stairs which while inconvient, as Xandra didn’t know about the elvator and Panchito gets on it without thinking to tell the other two who are forced to climb, makes sense: it’s risky to have a direct port to a giant tree that grows planets. Which is also awesome. In the wrong hands the raw power of a tiny planet could be devistating, or someone could make their own galaxy with them as god emeprror if given enough time. Which if you know about the world tree and somehow manage to steal enough planets to make a galaxy of your own without getting caught, you clearly will surivive the eons needed for it.. or could just time speed it up. Point is this place is out of the way for a reason this time, elevator or no. So then we meet the ROMAN GODS... and they’ve not only clearly aged, but have given up fighting for gardening, with Mars being a decript old man who can’t remember xandra’s name, which given she heavily implies they were a thing is not great, and goes on and on about Tubers. Yeahhhh... I can’t exactly blame marvel for NOT wanting one of their biggest characters depiected as a doddering old man obssed with potatoes. LIke the brand confusion thing is still stupid, I want MIckey, Donald and Goofy as Cap, Iron Man and Hulk yesterday you cowards..., but thinking this would be confusing for kids or would hurt the character a bit? yeah fair enough, a bit paranoid but understandable given Marvel is the backbone of the company these days and at this point, had been massively sucessful with avengers and everything. So I do get it even if I don’t get shifting the setting from the world tree, and suspect there they had to rework the episode during production.

So we not only meet our gods.. and the reason this isn’t the best episode. It’s not the worst, we’ll get there in a moment, but it’s not very good. And the reason... is Xandra. Her reaction to the gods being out of shape and old and retired, tending to the tree and not really fighting or doing hero stuff anymore is to get upset and wonder how her friends and as we learn later inspiration fell this low. That’d be fine and somewhat intresting. Problem is.. the Gods explain they quit after the titan wars which gave Mars some VERY obvious PTSD tha’ts VERY uncomfortably played for laughs. Look in comedy you can joke about just about anything, that’s the nature of it. But there are some things you REALLY need to tread carefully with. Now Family Guy, and this is late seasons “race jokes and shock humor” family guy mind you, somehow got this with Quagmire having ptsd in one episode where the show was set in diffrent time periods... due to hearing fortunate son over and over in vietnam.

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This is actually funny, parodies something else, paticually overblown namsplotation in media and overuse of a great song that really dosen’t need to be used ALL the time in everything. This.. is just “HA he’s rattled because he was in a presumibly bloody war wand given ther’es only four gods left, we see one next episode, they probably all died.. and if they are still alive reincarnated.”. It’s just.. uncomfortable and if this bit was taken out, the episode wouldn’t be great, but it wouldn’t be as odious and Xandra HORRIBLY unsympathetic. It’s not helped by the fact that even without the ptsd.. the gods just watn’t to semi retire. They haven’t given up their duty, their still tending to the world tree.. they just dont’ want to fight or quest anymore because they were in a possibly centuries long bloody war that dwinlded their numbers and clearly left mental scars. Xandra comes off like an insenstive ass for putting her old version of them over the new and while the moral’s SUPPOSED TO BE that she shouldn’t cling to the past and had it simply beeen about her realizing she has to let them be who they are now, it would’ve worked.. instead it’s just “You guys suck because you won’t traumatize yourself more. “. The worst they do is hide under a table instead of fight and again, it’s very clear at least one of them if not all have PTSD. The only thing that keeps this from being truly awful is I genuinely don’t think the writers thought out the implicatoins of Mars line, which while still not a great train of thought to have modern writers not get that, it’s better than nothing. It just sinks the entire episode as i’ts emotional core.. comes off as a snotty teenager forcing some old people into combat and getting rewarded for it. The other side of the plot is not half bad though. The boys catch Feldrake and Sheldgoose trying to steal the planet, with Feldrake enlarging a bunch of termites we’ve been seeing so far in the episode to attack the cabs. But what really shines is the Cabs. They work well as a team, have camradere, face Sheldgoose with no fear and while they do run from the termites, which look HORRIFYING by the way, and then come up with the hairbrained but still not half bad scheme of covering donald and wood and using him as bait. This ends up working since Xandra rallies/guilttrips the gods into ignoring their ptsd and fighting anyway. I mean “Heroically helping them realize they stil have fight and fighting like the heroes she looked up to”... and then we get the climax which is just awesome. Sheldgoose and Feldrake get the planet afterall raining metors down so while the Roman gods take those out, Xandra calls on the guys to distfract Sheldgoose and Feldrake so she can snipe the planet out of his hands. How do they do this? Juipiter fast ball specials them up to the asteroid he’s on! If your wondering what a Fast Ball special is.. you’ve certianly seen it but here’s a practical demonstration.

So yeah that. OUr heroes take it in stride though and awesomely use how much Sheldgoose is irritate dby them to distract him by basically playing whack a mole, so he slowly destroys the ground bellow him, and Xandra snipes him, sapping him of his new god-tier power up and causing his platform to crumble, with the boys escaping falling to earth like the two of them thanks to jose hooking the tree with his cain. As I said this episode shows how far the boys have come: from greedy idiots who were scared.. to true heroes ready to step up, running away when tactically advantageous and easily taking on the main villians and coming up with a plan to beat them on the fly. That.. is what I wanted going into the show and if nothing else this episode gives me that. Also the girls talked to xandra earlier and I missed it. Eh. We do get a nice moment though of the boys telling Xandra she does fit in.. with them. And really as far as i’m concerned she’s one of the cabs, so I like this moment a lot.. I just wish it didn’t ring so hollow with everything else going on. Overall this ep is okay.. it has it’s moments but the Xandra side of thing just.. drains a lot of the life out of it. What COULD’VE been a solid character building episode makes her come off as a selfish, impatient insenstive asshole who’s trying to crowbar the past in instead of accepting her friends as who they’ve become in the centuries she’s been gone, though Sheldgoose and the boys do keep this from being awful. SPEAKING OF AWFUL.

No Man is an Easter Island:

This.. was a rough one. Not going to sugarcoat it. This episode was not very good despite some good segments and despite not mocking a serious mental issue, it’s somehow more obnoxious. The PTSD thing was clearly a mistake.. this.. this was intentional. Let’s tear this one apart shall we? So we open with Sheldgoose and Feldrake where they were last time, Easter Island. It turns out in this unvierse hte moai are actually giant stone men and their heads are the only things visable because the rest of hteir body is undreground, stomping out surfer dude lava lizards who want to come to the surface and burn it. Feldrake.. decides this is a great idea and agrees to help, as does sheldgoose.

Seriously Feldrake wants to CONQUER the world. In fact he did it once already. We’re not talking about someone like say Negaduck, who I talked about earlier this week: while he MIGHT conquer, he gets just as much joy out of mindless violence and would gladly blow up the world him and all just for the hell of it. Feldrake is your classic evil overloard and wants to RULE the world not destroy it and wouldn’t be happy without something to lord over and terrorize. And Sheldgoose wants the same and is presumibly sticking around to backstab his ancestor at the first opportunity to steal his power for his own. How does setting the world on fire, literally, benefit either of them? Sure they COULD take over int he aftermath, but that’s after the lizards have likely destroyed most of the world, not even taking into account the vast amount of water and infastructure and the size of their home means they’ll run out of troops to use as a living bridge, cool as that is, eventually. Humans would have to invent ways to transport them and given as far as I know we have a through understnading of lava and magma, we’d instead be working on weapons. The lizards woul dmake a good army under the right leadership to sidestep this.. but as a world ending threat while they’d still cause untold damage in lives and suffering, I just don’t see them being enough to conquer the world. It just makes no sense. The one thing that salvages it and this episode is what happens next, which i’m skipping ahead to because it’s my blog and I do this how I want: Feldrake TRIES just shooting the moai with his magic.. but the one he tries it on just has it harmlessly bounce off.. which given their dealing with magical fire creatures makes sense. So Sheldgoose instead steps in to Feldrake’s reluctance.. and shows his own talents. As a university head and professional asshole, he can manipulate with the best and talks the moai’s into taking a vacatoin, using the staff to hyponotize them so they don’t think about the downsides. It’s.. really fucking awesome honestly, and shows off that Sheldgoose is like the boys: a comical moron yes.. but VERY dangerous in the right cirucmastances. While he did use his great great great grampa’s magic for this a bit with the hypnosis, it’s his manpulations that MAADE the hypnosis work: by giving the moai something they WANT, a vacatoin and a break from a thankfless job, it means they aren’t acitvely trying to break his control no matter what happens and he and Feldrake can focus on freeing the lizards. And on top of that.. Wayne Knight gets one HELL of a musical number, sing talking to the beat as he manipulates and hypnotizes the moai and encourages their partying. While the main plan is dumb the plan to get there is just glorious to watch and Sheldgoose’s finest hour thus far and again we get to hear wayne knight SING. Kinda. And I will not trade that for anything.

So what are the Cabs up during this? hanging out, playing cards and doing friend stuff like Panchito doing a dive and them catching him. Jose claims nothing could split us up.. and cue Daisy.

It.. it’d been so nice without her. And you may recall last time she showed up while I didn’t like her or her actions or how it was written.. she was at least KINDA tolerable. Still a total bitch but you know she MIGHT have had a point and we might learn more about her history with donald.

Yeah this episode cements that this Daisy is awful and Donald is better off without her. She shows up because the girls talked Donald up, beause their angels.. and also because they apparently live with him now? Like.. don’t Daisy, who dosen’t think Donald’s responsible or their parents, whoever the hell they are, have.. issues with them suddenly living with three 30 something men and an xty hear old Goddess. I mean.. that sould raise a few thousand flags, but frankly at this point if your wondering why a child is living iwth a disney character instead of your parents their probably dead or on the moon. That’s not the problem here. No the problem her is again, somehow twice in a row, Xandra. After great introductions to both the boys to daisy, Jose flirts and Panchito shakes her hand a bit too hard, same as it ever was, Donald TRIES to bring up being a cabllero.. and Xandra prevents him then explains outside after the girls smooth things over why: telling daisy would bring her into his world and all the dangers with it.....

I HATE this trope. I hate it so fucking much. See i’m a superhero guy. I’ve made no attempt to hide this. So you can imagine the number of times i’ve seen a hero hide their ID and use this fucking excuse “They’ll get hurt if they know” or “it’s too much of a risk” or “blah blah blah bullshit reason for not telling my partner the truth”. Now i’m not saying the secret idtentity or having some sort of secret world saving thing are bad tropes. They are valid stories for a reason. Sometimes you CAN’T: Peter Parker didn’t tell Aunt May because she had a weak heart, Thor dind’t tell jane foster because his dad was a dick who’d go after her any time he tried and when he finally did.. still did shit to break them up. Because Odin is an asshole. Ms. Marvel didn’t tell her parents because she thought they’d stop her and when her dad found out, if sadly breifly, you can guess what happen. Miles Morales didn’t because he was terrified he’d be homeless as his dad HATED mutants, which he thought he was and wasn’t fond of viglantes, and to make matters worse his mother later DIED, she got better as of secret wars, in a spider-man fight, if not thanks to him obviously, so when Miles DID tell him Jefferson abandoned him for months. He’s gotten FAR better since then and really grown as a person, but my point stands: I’ts okay to hide your id at first to protect yourself as a hero: it’s okay to want to make sure a partner dosen’t out you to the press or something and is stable and loving enough before you tell htem. And it’s okay to not tell them something if htey probably wont’ belivie it or might not be prepared just yet. Now if they have some reason to hate the other you you should probably either tell them and see what happens or explain things, like Peter should’ve tried explaning what happened with Gwen’s dad to her, or break it off for their own good, which will devistate them, but is better than lying to them. And that’s the problem: As Wonder WOman said in a shockingly obnoxious movie, “Nothing good comes from lies”.. and while groosly oversimplified.. is not wrong here. Nothing good comes from lying to your partner day in and day out. I’ts why more modern works have deconscruted it: Miles, again, had a girlfriend named Barbra, but the recent run broke them up.. however they did so cleverly by having Miles refuse to tell her his id despite her having figured it out and her leaving him for hiding stuff from her. That’s what would REALLY happen. A long term partner isn’t going to tolerate you LYING to them and ducking out constnatly to save the world. Eventually you either have to let them go or try and tell them. I’ve been in barely any relationships but I was ALWAYS honest because again, nothing good comes from lying to your partner. Nothing good comes from deciving them and basically gaslighting them for “their own good”. If their with you and your an adventuer, super hero or what have you.. their in danger. So either don’t date them and find someone your speed like another hero or some mythical being, or TELL THEM and let THEM decide if it’s too much. This kind of bullshit is manipulative, cruel and selfish and I thought we’d settled it.

And while Donald was intending to tell Daisy to impress her, a bad reason i’ll admit... he was trying to be honest. But the EPISODE tries to portray it as a good thing and as him being noble. It isn’t. He’s listneing to a bad person, who has to EARN my good will back after this, whose only in it for herself. No really she only has the two go out because she’s tired of donald pining for daisy.

I mean i’ts been a month, and the girls are around but she hasn’t come up once during the last few episodes. So this comes out of nowhere and makes Xandra into a selfish jackass who is willing to send her friend off to lie to his partner with NO cover story for his actions to make him look good just to shut him up. This is someone who need I remind you can travel the world in an instant and knows a lot of magical beings who’d understand donald’s line of work. Instead of setting him up with one of them and abandoning daisy she sets up a doomed relationship. Oh and she and the boys whine about being bored without donald. Fuck off.. not you josea nd panchito, while extra dumb this episode the boys just genuinely miss their best friend and it’s endearing. Xandra though.. she can fuck off. As mentioned Daisy is not much better, and spends the date grilling donald about what he does , as AGAIN, XANDRA GAVE HIM NO COVER STORY OR JOB OR ANYTHING. Now granted she’s hundreds of years old, so she probably wouldn’t have a good one anyway... but she’s the one who INSISTs ON IT BEING A SECRET. And as the girls have shown, again knowing that secret does not hurt. Their mission control, Daisy could be too. Worst she could want is to JOIN them and given the boys started with no experince and are now certified ass kickers... why can’t she be one too? It feels less like Xandra looking out for Daisy and more that Xandra just dosen’t wnat her in her club.. which fair but still. The point is Daisy still treats donald as shifty and worthless, despite no evidence to this as whiel he has his faults doing nothing is not worth them and even says when he tries to spin it as “helping those in need” “How can you help other people if you can’t help yourself?”

I mean it’d be something to ponder and a great thesis statment.. in another story. Or even in this one.. if it’d been set up that Donald had been irresponsible. Someone willing to abandon others, prone to anger and a bit of a goofus, all true. But it really says how little you think of him Daisy that you can’t even picture him helping people and assume it’s some excuse. That you clearly hate your ex so much, clearly think of him as so much less than you that youc an’t FATHOM he’s doing good stuff and only think he’s gottne better when he pampers you with fizzy water, though it nicely has scrogoe on the bottle so good little nod there, and lobster. Seriously she dosen’t turn around till the girls, dressing up as a waiter , offer that. I..can’t fathom why we’re supposed to root for this relationship between a flawed but hardworking person.. and his ex partner who STILL never apologized for the brithday thing despite his FUCKING HOUSE BURNING DOWN, i.e. e the THING HE WAS TRYING TO EXPLAIN, and then spends dinner doubting he’s doing anything with his life, distruting both him and his nieces.

And.. it gets worse. Yes.. yes it somehow gets worse. No foolin. So the bell is sound and Xandra FORCIBLY ABDUCTS DONALD FROM THE DATE SHE TOLD HIM TO GO ON. And both come out really bad, if worse on Xandra’s end by a mile. Donald is refusing to go help save the world or whatever for a date with someone that DOES NOT appricate him and only accepts bribes. Tha’ts a dick move even if he dosen’t realize he’s in an abusive relationship to put getting laid over the world’s saftey. That being said.. Xandra STILL comes off worse. Despite having the moral high ground.. Xandra dosen’t KNOW what the threat is, or if they really need him, drags him out, dosne’t let him explain to daisy, and then barely lets him go back when it seems it’s just a party. Then drags him back AGAIN when their backs are against the wall without feeding daisy an explination or really caring she broke things up just halfheartdly saying she’ll forgive him and Donald saying “You don’t know daisy”. None of them come off well. Again the boys only aren’t loathsomebecause their oblivoius and just want their best friend back. If the other episode hadn’t already damaged Xandra enough i’m DEEPLY worried she won’t be able to walk this one back. Daisy certainly fucking won’t.

So yeah our heros deal with the moai and the lava lizards, as the boys fail to get the moai to go back to their job and the lizards unleash their wonderfuly weird queen who rides a bridge of them to the mainland.. fucking love that. When things get dire Xandra does aformentioned forcing donald to come back without actually helping him with daisy or just TELLING HER AND OH MY GOD LET’S JUST MOVE ON. Fuck this episode is aggravating me.

We do get a nice bit where donald’s angry dance inspires the moai to imitate it.. and thus stomps out the laval lizards and gives our heroes an opening, and Donald DOES prove his worth by having the moai do the belly flop from earlier to stop the queen, causing the rest of the lizards to flee and our heroes to win. Yay.. I guess. Donald goes back to find Daisy gone.

He dosen’t see it that way and the girls say while he’s still a mess, what he did was noble. that sucks, and they leave him a massive bill instead of paying for it with their tips because their the ones who brought in the fancy food to ply their aunt. Fuck. this. episode. Final Thoughts for This one: I belivie I said FUCK THIS EPISODE. It had it’s moments, the musical number, the moai beach party, my boys.. but the sheer obnoxiousness, cliche plot that has been throughly shredded for good reason and isn’t in use anymore about secret lives, and Daisy, Xandra and to a very lesser Extent Donald all being deeply unlikable. This episode is just REALLY fucking bad. HOpefully the series gets back on it’s feet next time. Until the next rainbow.. I really need a frigging gatorade. I.. I don’t drink booze. This is one of those times I wish I did. Goodnight everybody.

#the legend of the three caballeros #the three caballeros #ride of the three caballeros #donald duck #panchito romero miguel junipero francisco quintero gonzalez #panchito pistoles #Jose Carioca #daisy duck #april duck #may duck #june duck #lord feldrake #baron von sheldgoose #xandra #reviews #comissions

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