So I couldn't help but browse the THG tag bc those books own my whole heart. I actually check it now and again, and it's been interesting see how opinions have changed over the years, especially in regards to Gale and Peeta. Going through the evolution of them as just potential love interests to being far more complex than I could have expected has been a wild ride. Crazy how this reads different than from when I was a preteen.
That said, I wanted to give my unsolicited two cents on my boys, because though I have been enjoying the discussion on Peeta and Gale and what they mean to the story, I also feel like reducing them to Peeta = peace and Gale = war is far too simplistic... and oftentimes unfair to one or both of them.
See, I don't think Peeta and Gale are peace and war/destruction. They're compassion and indignation.
Peeta worries about the other tributes, or their families, or how to repay people like Rue and Thresh for what they did.
Gale is indignation at how the Capitol treats its citizens, it's anger at the injustice of inequality and brutality.
Both are needed in a story like THG. You can't have people like even Peeta not say something like "maybe we're wrong about keeping things quiet in the districts", you can't have him not drop the baby bomb, you can't start a revolution without Gale's indignation at the status quo. At deserving a better life but being denied it, at having your kids be mercilessly killed for literal sport.
However, if you start a rebellion and loose sight of your compassion, you end up no better than the people you're fighting against. Gale wasn't a bad person, imo. His heart was in the right place. He was flawed, yes, but so is everyone in this series. Gale, most importantly, lost sight of the line between fighting for the people he cared about and fighting against the people who hurt him.
Reducing Gale's indignation to just revenge and hatred ignores so much of what he stands for. Who hasn't seen laws passed that dehumanize people, who hasn't been angry and furious when someone is elected who fundamentally hates everything you are, who doesn't think some people need to pay for the atrocities they committed? There's a little bit of Gale in every single one of us - and it's important that it's there, because that's what gives us strength to challenge the status quo and make life better for the future generations.
But. You can't let it take over. You can't loose sight of your compassion or your empathy.
That's where Peeta comes in. Peeta is the voice in your head that worries about how many good lives will be lost when they give themselves up for this cause. Peeta is the worry about the people caught in the crossfire. Peeta is rebuilding when it's over and believing that the next generation will have a better life than your own. Peeta is being kind, even to people who may not deserve it.
And Gale... Gale looses sight of his compassion, and he doesn't realize it until it smacks him in the face when the bombs go off and Prim is gone and he's too far gone. Meanwhile, Peeta advocates for the end of the war even though it means the status quo remains - and regardless of what he believes himself, I don't think Suzanne chose him to say those lines by chance. It means both mindsets have their flaws: too kind and things that shouldn't remain will never be challenged and changed, too angry and you may loose sight of what you're fighting for.
And that's just how Suzanne uses her characters, both of them, all of them. Just look at who is with Katniss depending on the situation:
- Katniss chooses to "rebel" after Gale is brutally whipped. She kisses him.
- Katniss realizes that in order for D12 to rebel, everyone would need to be in on it, and she realizes most of them are not like her, that they're scared and she understands, emphasises with them. Peeta walks by her side.
- Katniss finally does it though, shoots the arrow at the force field, and Peeta is taken from her, it's now Gale by her side.
(You can't start a rebellion without indignation, and sometimes you HAVE to do it or things will never change, regardless of the inevitable pain that will come along.)
- Katniss is righteously angry at the Capitol bombing a hospital full of innocents to make a point. Gale remains there.
- Coin twists people's compassion into an army to fight for her own personal gain. Peeta is hijacked and looses his sense of self.
- Katniss and Gale go to District 2 and even though she tries to be like Peeta, she's still shot- reinforcing Gale's views, the person who was with her during that sequence.
- Katniss is angry at Snow, Katniss goes to the Capitol to kill him. Gale is there.
- Katniss gets in way over her head and realizes she is responsible for the death of most of her squad. She shares the lamb stew with Peeta, and later cleans his wounds.
- Finnick dies and she's at her lowest up until that point and all she wants to do is give up and give in to the anger. She kisses Peeta and begs him to stay with her.
... Claiming that Gale is destruction ignores the fact that he's with Katniss through her own moments of strength. Her desire to change things, to fight back, is as important as her compassion. Mockingjay just brutally shows you what war does to your indignation, to your compassion. How easy it is to cross a line between righteous anger and revenge, or how your sense of empathy and compassion can be manipulated into something monstrous by others, or by all the terrible, brutal, painful things you see.
How easy it is to loose yourself- and that goes for both of them.
Peeta and Gale aren't static characters, they go from representations of sentiments regarding an injust government to what happens to those feelings when an extreme situation such as war breaks out. All of that, by the way, while dealing with this duality themselves, because they are still characters who think and feel and struggle and have flaws of their own- and while I love what they stand for, I've seen too many comments that pin everything into what they mean, that they forget that Peeta and Gale are still people, they aren't perfect metaphors. They're human.
Ultimately, Katniss doesn't really choose peace. She wants peace, yes. But what she chooses is compassion. empathy. hope. There's a time and place for anger at injustice. There's a time when fighting back is the right thing to do. There are even times when you wanna give in to your despair and lash out. But if you want peace, then you have to choose Peeta, because Peeta represents what you need to focus on to achieve that peace. You have to let go of the anger or you won't ever rest. So Gale leaves, and does not come back... And yet, Katniss still has her moments of indignation, of making a stand, even as he goes - she still casts her vote at that meeting, she still shoots Coin. Katniss does not abandon that part of who she is. It's just not her main drive anymore.
So then she goes on to make the choice, every single day, to be compassionate to others. To have hope. To rebuild. Of course she chooses Peeta.
... Idk, man. These boys are so much more than what I see them so often reduced to. They're in all of us. There will be times to stand and fight, and times to show mercy and be kind. We just need to find that balance, as Katniss eventually did.
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writing a fic abt rick having an ed bcs why would i recover when i can just project all my issues onto fictional old men in cartoons and pretend everythings better now ‼️
tw eating disorder, minor self harm and vomit near the end
Morty stopped in the open doorway of the garage, watching Rick who was sat scribbling down some kind of invention idea, or equation, or whatever it was he did when Morty wasn't around, for all Morty knew he might well be writing fanfiction.
An involuntary smile pulled at his lips at the idea of his almost 70 year old genius grandfather spending his free time writing silly little stories at his work bench. What would he even write? Ball Fondlers fanfic? Maybe he wrote about his stoic bird friend, Rick had always been touchy with him and Rick wasn't touchy with anyone.
When Morty focused back on Rick he wasn't writing anymore, the slightly crumpled piece of paper shoved to the side as he fiddled with what looked like a small metal box with a bunch of brightly coloured wires poking out of the sides. A small spark shot out of one of the wires Rick was holding and he cursed loudly, shaking his hand.
"Fuck, Morty, are you just gonna– gonna stand there, or are you gonna pass me the fucking, uh– the thing."
Rick waved his hand in the general direction of the shelf nearest to Morty, but there were so many assorted trinkets on the shelves, Morty had no idea if Rick wanted a wrench, or a hammer, or one of his laser guns, maybe the box was like a new battery for them?
"W-what thing, Rick?"
"The thing, Morty! The fucking– the uh, destornillador."
"What? Rick, I don't know what that means. W-w-what is that?"
"Jeez, Morty, what are they teaching you at that crap school you love so much?" Rick scowled, tossing the box to the side and getting up to grab the screwdriver himself.
"I havent been to school in like a month, Rick!" Morty exclaimed. "And even then I only got to stay for like an hour before you were dragging me out again!"
"Whatever." Rick said with a burp, "School's dumb, Morty. I'll teach you Spanish myself. B-but, uh, not now."
He turned back to his box, done with the conversation, but Morty stayed hovering in the room, remembering what he had come for in the first place.
"Okay, um, w-w-well lunch is ready."
"I'm busy."
Morty sighed, having expected that answer already. "When's the last time you ate, Rick? Or slept? Or... showered?" Morty said, wrinkling his nose a little.
Rick ignored him, pulling at a blue wire.
"Rick!" Morty frowned.
"What, Morty? J-jesus christ, what the fuck do you want?"
"I want you to have lunch with the family."
"And I said no, so screw off."
"Rick, come on, it would make mom so happy."
Rick glared at him, not bothering with an answer.
"...Wouldn't y-you do it for your original Beth if you could?" Morty tried.
Rick slammed the box on the table, causing the thin metallic shell to crack, sparks flying from it, the sudden noise making Morty jump.
"The fuck did you just say?" Rick snarled.
"S-s-sorry!" Morty squeaked. "I didn't m-mean– mean it in a bad way!"
"Get the fuck out." Rick said icily, eyes blazing.
Morty stumbled out of the room, shutting the door behind him to the sound of something crashing. Probably Rick throwing the damaged box across the room.
Morty winced. In his defense he was worried about Rick, and sometimes, depending on his mood, something like that would've gotten Rick to cave, clearly he wasn't feeling so sentimental today, more annoyed and angry.
"What was that about?"
Morty startled a little and turned to see Summer looking at her phone behind him.
"Just, y'know, Rick being... Rick."
"Mhm, pro tip, don't bring up his dead daughter to try and blackmail him into something he hates." Summer drawled. "You can only do that if he's already half convinced, or if he's feeling especially depressed sometimes.
"Summer! That's– that's messed up!"
She quirked an eyebrow. "Oh, yeah, so only you can manipulate grandpa Rick?" Summer scoffed. "God forbid women do anything." She said sarcastically and turned to walk away.
"Wait!" Morty fidgeted with his hands. "Can you... help me? To get him to have lunch w-with us? Please?"
"Yes, but not now. He's already upset so if we double down on trying to get him to eat he's only gonna clam up."
Morty nodded. "I know that– but how do you? You don't spend as much time with Rick as I do."
"Because he's like mom. Who do you think got her to stop drinking before parent-teacher conferences at school?"
"Wow. That's pretty fucked up that you had to do that, though, y'know, Summer."
"Yeah, well, we're the Smiths, Morty. Is anyone in this house not disordered?"
Morty winced at the blunt statement, Rick really was rubbing off on her. But it was kind of true.
"Guess it runs in the family." He muttered
"Guess it does."
---
Morty hadn't been planning on seeing Rick again until the next day. He knew that when Rick got upset he needed his space. Morty didn't quite get it because when he was upset all he wanted was for someone to hug him and tell him everything was going to be okay, but Rick wasn't like him he supposed.
If he was being honest it made him nervous to leave Rick alone in those bad headspaces he got into. Rick was volatile and unpredictable and a borderline danger to himself and often others. He'd walked in on a couple... compromising situations where Rick had had to explain away why he was passed out in his chair or why there was blood on his hands and his lab coat despite being the only person in the room.
Morty pretended to believe him when he said he had been doing a messy dissection experiment or that "This isn't blood, this is Balorkian dust I mixed with red Squanchenite fluid from Planet Squanch, Morty." But truthfully those moments haunted him.
However, he didn't want to invade Rick's space, so he let him be and tried to eat and sleep until Rick emerged like nothing had happened, even though Morty knew what habits of his went on behind those closed doors.
Of course Morty's patience had it's limits, like when two hours after he had left Rick in the garage, angry, there was the sound of something smashing, closely followed by an unmistakable sound that Morty had grown too familiar with since Rick had moved in. The sound of a body thudding to the ground.
He was up from the sofa in a flash, at the garage door before Summer could even put down her phone, flinging it open.
He felt like he couldn't breathe, but the only sight that greeted him was a smashed bottle and rick lying on the floor next to it, not looking any more dead than usual, looking up at Morty blearily, cracking a smile.
"Oh, hi Morty. H-hey buddy." He slurred, clearly drunk out of his mind.
"Jesus fucking christ, Rick." Morty said weakly.
"What happened?" Summer breathed, now standing at his side.
"He's just drunk." Morty muttered, wrinkling his nose at the overpowering smell that he hadn't registered before between his state of panic and shallow breathing.
Summer ventured into the garage, picking up an empty bottle and sniffing it. "God, grandpa Rick, what the hell are you drinking in here, fucking rubbing alcohol?"
"Sum-Sum! 'M just having some– some fun drinks. Fun drinks just a lil' bit. Besides I only ever drank rub-rubbin' alcohol once, n' it was– tasted like shit."
"What? I was being sarcastic, why would you drink that?"
"Because I was sad... was sad 'nd lonely after B-b-blood Ridge, couldn't find anythin' else. But 'm not s-sad now."
"What's Blood Ridge?" Summer frowned, "Actually it doesn't matter right now, you need to sober up."
"Get him some water," Morty interjected. "I'll clean up the glass. I also know where he keeps all his hangover serums and stuff, but he told me not to let you into any of his drug stashes."
"Fair enough." Summer shrugged, leaving to get Rick some much needed water.
While she was gone, Morty felt along the wall until he found the small hidden panel under Rick's desk. He fished out the light blue vial of fluid for hangovers, the red one he'd forced Rick to make that would sober him up and a green one that basically equivalated to getting your stomach pumped if you took it, just in case he'd taken more than just alcohol.
He shut the panel securely and placed the three coloured vials on Rick's work bench, grabbing a purple tube-like gadget from a shelf. He pressed a button on the back of it and typed in "Broken Glass" on a small hologram keyboard that emerged, then pressed that first button again. A blue ray shot out, scanning the garage, and the pieces of smashed bottle disappeared in a matter of seconds.
Morty looked over at Rick, who was still lying on the floor, but now he was tracing his fingers along a crack in the cold ground, his expression so solemn he almost looked sober.
"Rick?" Morty asked hesitantly.
"I miss her." He said flatly. "I miss her s-so much."
His words were still a little slurred but his tone had lost all the previous levity.
"I tried to save her, Morty, I t-t-tried, but I couldn't bring her back. And no one could ever replace her." A rough sob escaped his throat. Morty felt frozen. "I'm a crappy fuckin'– piece of shit father but I didn't want to be. I was gonna fuckin' give– give up everything for them, and I would've been happy. I would've been so happy as long as I had them, but he fuckin' took that from me! I nnever even got a chance."
Rick was crying, he was crying so hard that his tears stained the concrete dark grey and snot ran down his face sideways. He was shaking like a leaf and gasping for air.
Morty crouched down next to him, fists clenching and unclenching, unsure if he should hug Rick, or if that would make it worse. What else could he do?
"Oh– oh shit, Rick, I–"
"My little girl, my baby." Rick continued between sobs. "She meant everything to me. S-so yeah, I would be better f-for her if I could, but she's gone. There's no point."
Rick's sudden fit of violent sobs was calming down, replaced by a look that Morty could only describe as pure hoplessness and defeat washing over his features.
"'S no point in anything."
Shit, this was bad. Rick didn't admit defeat, and he certainly didn't talk so openly about his feelings like this.
"Aw jeez, Rick, come on don't– don't– don't say that. we killed Rick Prime, remember?" Morty said, wringing his hands anxiously.
"Yeah, I remember." Rick said, tone now devoid of emotion. "I remember killin' him with my bare hands, watchin' the life drain out of his eyes as his blood dripped down my fists. And I remember nothing changing. W-w-what d'ya do when you achieve your life long goal and nothin's better? It didn't bring them back, it didn't– didn't give me closure or give me a reason to live. I still can't sleep, petrified he's in the fucking house, comin' for my new family, that he'll kill all of you to teach me that t-that's what happens when I-I care about people."
Rick wiped his face with his lab coat sleeve, rubbing away the snot, drool and dried tears while Morty just kneeled next to him, frozen and unsure what to say.
"Rick..." he started but then Summer stepped through the doorway and Rick's demeanour instantly changed.
"Summerfest!" he called out and Morty watched, a little shocked, as Rick's whole face changed in the blink of an eye, going back to the cheerful, goofy expression he'd been wearing when he and Summer first came in. It didn't look artificial to Morty at all, even now that he knew it was. How could Rick just switch it on and off just like that?
"I brought water and coffee." Was all Summer said, placing two mugs on the workbench. "And a cereal bar."
The second statement sounded a little more unsure and Morty could've sworn he saw Rick's jaw clench for a second.
"Gimmie coffee." Rick said, making grabby hands, still lying on the floor.
"Water first." Summer replied, handing him the larger of the two mugs.
Rick pouted a little but as soon as the mug was in his hands he drank thirstily, finishing the whole thing in one go.
"You want more?" Summer asked, taking the mug, but he just shook his head quietly.
"Okay," Morty cleared his throat when his voice came out a little shaky. "drink this."
He handed Rick the red 'get sober' vial and Rick chugged it obediently, making a face. "Tastes like– like shit." He offered.
While he seemed a little calmer after the water and serum, his eyes were still unfocused and his voice sounded thick, like his tongue didn't fit in his mouth properly, hints of his accent were slipping through too.
"Did you- are you on drugs r-right now?" Morty asked, reaching for the green vial of serum.
"Maybe." Rick mumbled. His eyelids were starting to droop a little and he curled up more comfortably on the floor.
"Hey, Rick, don't go to sleep okay? What did you take?" Summer asked, crouching down next to him, shaking him a little. He groaned. "Come on, we just have to make sure you're not overdosing and then you can sleep. Maybe not on the floor."
"'M not overdosing." Rick grumbled.
"What did you take?"
"I dunno. Just some random alien drugs I found i-in my pocket." He said dismissively with a burp. "Actually one of 'em was probably adderall. Look at me bein' all responsible an-and takin' my meds n' shit."
He of course immediately showed his 'responsibilty' by gagging and then throwing up on the floor.
Morty winced, reaching for the purple device again while Summer tried to coax him into drinking the green liquid, frowning deeply.
Finally Rick gave in, sipping from the small vial, and almost instantly his eyes began to clear up a little bit.
"Why'd I make these work so well?" He groaned. Then, "My head is killing me, I want coffee."
Summer passed him the second mug and he gestured toward the hangover serum, which Morty promptly passed to him and Rick poured it in his coffee.
He gulped down half the coffee and sighed, wiping his mouth with his already rather dirty sleeve. "Fuck, that's better."
He downed the rest of it and placed the mug on the ground, getting to his feet shakily. He swayed and nearly fell, leaning onto the wall to steady himself as the dizzy spell passed, and then stretched, his back cracking loudly.
He took a few wobbly steps towards the door but Summer blocked the way.
"Fuck– fuck off Summer I gotta– I'm gonna go take a nap."
"Could you maybe eat something first?" She asked firmly, holding up the cereal bar.
"No."
Rick tried to sidestep her but she blocked the way again.
"Summer, don't fucking piss me off right now, I'm serious."
She stood her ground. "Just eat the cereal bar, grandpa Rick. Please."
"Summer, for fuck's sake, I said no!"
"Grandpa," She sighed, the arm holding the bar dropping defeatedly back down to her side. "Do you have an eating disorder?"
The garage was deathly quiet for a second.
"Wha-What?! I'm not a teenage girl in a f-f-f– goddamn netflix drama, Summer." Rick snarled. "What the fuck kinda question is that?"
He gestured wildly, taking another step forwards, which quickly seemed to be the wrong option as a sudden wave of dizziness hit him hard, making him almost loose his balance. He blindly tried to grab onto the back of his chair somewhere behind him, but missed and fell on his ass.
"Rick!" Morty and Summer both rushed to his side, Morty's eyes beginning to well up a little from all the stress of the day.
"I'm fine, don't– don't fucking touch me." He said, shaking Summer's hand off his shoulder, which caused another wave of nausea to hit.
"Please eat this." Summer said nervously, voice shaking as she pushed the cereal bar into his left hand, his right one gripping at his hair.
"Summer, I promise you if I eat that shit right now I'm gonna throw the fuck up."
"Please?" Morty pouted, eyes big and teary.
All it took was one look at him, and with only a brief moment of hesitation Rick snatched the cereal bar from Summer, muttering angrily under his breath.
Morty only caught "Me cago en la puta." and "Maldito cabrón." which he more or less understood, more familiar with swear words than any other words in the Spanish language.
Rick peeled away the wrapper slowly with unsteady hands and took a small bite.
Morty and Summer watched in silence, not wanting to discourage him by saying the wrong thing—which with Rick could be anything—as Rick uncomfortably ate the cereal bar.
"There you fucking go." He said weakly, Throwing the now empty wrapper at Summer, but missing as it was too light to travel more than a couple centimetres, landing somewhere by his feet.
"Thank you." Summer almost whispered.
They sat in silence for a while, Morty sniffling and rubbing at his eyes and Summer shuffling a bit closer to him for both of their comfort.
Rick was sitting with his knees losely bent and his head braced in his hands, trying to overcome another hit of nausea.
He wouldn't exactly say he tried super hard to keep the cereal bar down, but it wasn't deliberate when he vomited it down the front of his shirt.
"Oh! Aw jeez..." Morty winced.
"I did warn you."
"In our defense, you had every reason to be lying to us."
"Fuck you, Summer." It sounded weak even to his own ears.
She sighed softly.
"Morty, get his shirt off. Do you have pijamas or do you sleep in jeans and a lab coat?"
"Jeans an-and a lab coat."
"...I was joking, but okay." Summer said, flipping the switch that opened Rick's garage closet and grabbing one of his sets of identical outfits.
Rick squirmed, making noises of complaint as Morty tried to take off his current shirt.
"Rick– stay still, you have vomit on your clothes."
"I'm not fucking two years old, Morty." He scowled. "I can change by myself."
Rick tried to sit up but wobbled and then slumped back against the wall, needing more time to recover. Morty reached for his shirt again and this time Rick let him pull it carefully up over his head without resisting. Morty took the new set of clothes from where Summer had left them on the floor next to him.
Summer wasn't looking but Morty still shielded Rick's body from sight with his own, pointedly not mentioning the raised scars and jagged, angry, red cuts littering his arms which he had already suspected would be there.
Rick shifted uncomfortably, seeming relieved when Morty didn't want to talk about it.
"Okay." Morty said, helping Rick pull on his clean lab coat too.
"I'm going to bed." Rick grumbled, not waiting for him to continue, just getting up slowly.
He felt weak and shaky and his brittle old bones weren't exactly helping out. Despite his thousands of cybernetic implants he was still human, much to his dismay, and he couldn't treat his body as badly as he did when he was 30. Not that that ever seemed to stop him, managing to still maintain the same shitty habits he'd had for years at the ripe age of 67.
He stumbled through the dining room, Morty and Summer trailing after him, not discouraged by the glare he sent their way.
As soon as he reached his room, he slumped onto his bed with a groan.
"R-rick?"
"Fuck off, Morty." He snapped into his pillow, a little muffled by it.
Morty hesitated, exchanging a glance with Summer, who shrugged.
"...Ookay, Rick. Uh, see– see you at dinner, today? maybe?'
"Don't count on it."
Summer frowned, Starting to say something, but Rick interrupted, "I'm gonna apply my room's Lock Protocols in ten seconds, so i-if you're still in here, I'm not letting you out until I'm done sleeping. A-a-and if you're standing in the doorway, you're gonna get fucking squashed in the doors."
"Whatever, Rick, fuck you too." Summer huffed, pulling Morty out of the doorway with her.
"Room, activate Sensory Protocol 2. And t-tell Summer to go fuck herself."
"Sensory Protocol 2 activated." Came the mechanical voice and a heavy metal door snapped shut. "Go fuck yourself, Summer."
Summer scoffed. "Dick." Followed by a sigh. "What are we gonna do?"
"I-I don't know." Morty admitted. "There's not much we can do if Rick won't accept help. And he won't."
"So what? We just give up on him?" Summer asked accusingly, putting her hands on her hips.
"No, Summer, J-jeez. I just– We're gonna have to get creative."
"Fuck."
---
thats it thats the end i didnt know how tf to end this but my goal wasnt to rewrite like the bible idfk it was just to put rick through shit and put completely unfair expectations on summer and mortys shoulders so that they could ALL suffer in this fic !! :3 also this is so mf long i sincerely apologise if u read all that
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