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#i mean i will do that anyway. whether or not i actually post about it is an entirely other question
spyxfamilyanalysis · 2 days
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Do you think donovan has something to do w project apple? The one that makes Anya can read minds, and if he does do you think he experimented w his children? Or Demetrius is born that weird
Well, I think there might be misunderstanding about the name of the Project. Project Apple is experimented on animals like Bond Forger, to make them useful with special abilities, for Bond's case is predicting the near future. But of course, there are still some limitations: the future can be altered, it is not fixed, as can be seen in Spy x Family episode 13-16, when Anya reading Bond's future predictions and changed it before Twilight was in danger.
And if you are asking what project Anya is experimented, is actually "nameless". Throughout the series and manga, the name of the project is currently unknown, and I, myself, am not sure if the Tatsuya-san will reveal it... Yet somehow, the Internet "said?" that there are the same name? That confused me???
Anyway, this hypothesis about Anya and Donovan has gone wild ever since, so let me explain.
We haven't known much about Demetrius, the only time he appeared was when Damian called him to meet their Father, which can be found in this scene (Chapter 37)
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To know more about chapter 37 -> link (it's not that I'm lazy, this post already analyze full so idk what to add...)
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About the scars, here are my predictions:
Maybe he really is related to the Project, since the mark of the stiches are pretty close to Anya's. And some are suspected that the ornaments on Anya's head could be a way to hide her scars from the experiments, or I think they are literally just accessories for her hair, like when she was small.
About the scientists, some said that after Anya escaped, the only "laboratory rat" managed to survive, they may be working on animals, like Bond, after that, as "hope" for science to save "world peace". And Donovan could be either an experiment like Anya, testing some sort of weird stuff on himself, or someone like the scientists who just got injured from, like idk, being attacked by his "laboratory animals". And I think that the chances of him being injured from war is very low, because he is the one to start war between Ostania and Westalis.
Are there any chances of Demetrius inherit the intelligence from Donovan? I think no. It's definitely not from the crazy ideas of his own father thinking of war, Ostania and Westalis are currently in the period of the Cold war, where there are no need for weapons, yet politicians are in a tense period, with the risk of war breaking out. True that his intelligence might be genetically inherited, but I can assure that both Damian and Demetrius may know nothing about what he was planning. So, uh, yeah, Demetrius is just that weird, and he is an introvert. You can tell how short his lines are when he was on the phone.
Off-and-bonus topic: I am very suspicious about their mother, Melinda. She first appeared officially in chapter 65, and the bus hijack incident of the Red Circus Arc. When Damian spoke about Donovan, her expression changed completely, as if she hated him deeply and want him gone from her sight. This could mean that she might know about what he was hiding, and probably she has an obsession to Damian, her sweet son~(?)
Look, she is so sus for hell sure. >:( But I'm not sure whether or not she is evil? Even Loid is aware of her now...
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Also, take a very close look at the dialogue after the hijack (Chap 75):
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She truly loves Damian, yet what we didn't realize that, his brother, Demetrius was not even mentioned in her interior monologue(?)/ mind. We also know that she calls Damian as a curse...: "I never should have come here... If only he'd died in the hijacking...", "If only I weren't burdened with this child...", "How he disgusts me...". At first when this chapter was out, I read this part and thought "he" that she mentioned was Donovan, and now, re-reading this, she was mentioning Damian. And I have no idea if she cares Demetrius more than Damian, or is it the opposite?
And finally, I bet she is hiding something from Damian... I mean, when Anya was mind-reading her, she was a bit scared. A scary obsession to Damian terrifyingly... maybe something about Donovan and the war between the 2 nations.
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Message from the author (me): This is a very interesting topic! After I received your question, it took me several days to give you my answer which I think is most suitable and accurate, I do hope it is the answer you are looking for. Truly sorry for the long-time response, I was working with my final exams, so I can't answer you immediately.
Anyway, thank you for waiting and taking your time reading!🥰🥰🥰
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altruistic-meme · 1 year
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do i dare write the post looking at and trying to explain Queen Kristina's behavior? probably. i swear im trying to be less annoying about it but also like. i do what I want.
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skrunksthatwunk · 5 months
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kinda drives me up a wall when people go "hey i think x action in a war/combat scenario is inhumane and cruel and shitty" and someone responds with "oh but within the laws of war it's allowed or there's procedure for it etc etc". it doesn't have to be a war crime to be unforgivable man it's a shitty rulebook anyway
#like whether or not something's bad isn't determined by whether or not it adheres to arbitrary rules people made up and never obey#i thought we all knew that already. c'mon man. get a grip#obviously war crimes are bad but that's not where the badness potential ends y'know#this post is due to my dad talking about smth i sent him mentioning US troops firing on a bunch of guys in smth on deserters and he was lik#well they're not like citizens or refugees or deserters they're retreating enemy combattants. so it's different.#it IS different but isn't it still like. overly brutal? idk.#like would you want them to pursue Your ppl regardless? are they not allowed mercy just because you proved stronger? your positions could#be swapped easily and you'd think that as fellow combattants you would feel that deeply. idk maybe i'm just too soft or whatever but like.#seems stupid to me. war generally seems stupid to me but this specifically right now seems stupid to me#yes i know there are practical concerns and sacrifices in combat that make sense when you're actually there and me saying there should be n#wars and we should make it a fucking priority to not have wars doesn't mean ppl already in a decision-making role in the field should do#what i (an idealist) would do. they're responsible for minimizing loss and shit. whatever. doesn't mean it's not fucked up anyway.#and that's assuming the best case scenario for a leader in such a position. usually they just want to minimize Their side's losses. usually#by maximizing the other side's. or they just want to win and will sacrifice anyone for it if it's practical#which happens a Lot. usually it's a mix of the latter two to my understanding#as if americans' lives matter more than anyone else's and the other side doesn't have a right to mourn bc they offended us somehow#ugh that shit irks me so bad dude. there'll be like a terrorist attack in europe or smth and the news'll be like#ONE AMERICAN WAS KILLED. and twenty swiss. THE AMERICAN WAS VISITING FAMILY THERE ON SUNDAY MORNING WHEN TRAGEDY STRUCK etc etc#fucking hate that. i don't care if they're on 'my team' or whatever they're all equally human and equally dead#why the hell should i care if one of them was an american. just say 21 people died. like i get reporting on it briefly ig to like notify#ppl At Best but like. it's so grating. why can't you be normal about other people fucking goddamn you#why is this a controversial statement. why is giving a shit about people killing each other (often for like 10 ppl's financial gain) wrong#like. come on. i don't care if they 'deserve it' or whatever because i don't think they do. and even if they Did i don't think it's#America's Time To Step Up!!! every time smth like this happens (but only when it is financially beneficial to us to do so#such that we ignore atrocities all the fucking time bc it's inconvenient. we're not superheros. we're cops.)#not saying america shouldn't do anything bc like. idk. you screw everyone over to have all the power maybe you should use that influence fo#good. but my definition of 'good' is wayyyy way different from everybody who's ever held office here apparently so like. nuts to that#eugh. anyway im cutting myself off here rant over. for now
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the-acid-pear · 17 days
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I never tried the option myself bc it'd probably mean skipping the Reason You Suck speech at the end (fire for speedrunners though) but I Love that you can frame your Phoneys in 3, especially so if you've already killed the previous two. Like yeah couldn't send you off to die so i'll let the goverment do it for me 🧸 like its just Peak evil imo.
#luly talks#i do relinquish in the pain and the agony but dont get me wrong the thought of any of them 3 getting jailed makes me SO sad#rog esp since he's the one im writing about and the biggest nerve wreck#gingi voice they'll be the last one to pick the board game for prison-game-night..........#actually yknow i wonder if rog would end up almost believing it after all when you try to gaslight him for the shits and giggles#(as in: telling HE was victim of the bite of 87 and the like) he tells you to not do that bc his brain is already scrambled or something#so there's a chance perhaps he'd believe it if he had everyone constantly accussing him of it?#not like it'd matter much i have no hopes for the dsaf justice system i know its been 35 years since jack got framed but still#i just remembered when the option popped up i said ''god im really becoming steven 😭''#first time i made the joke too was when i said ''imagine your boss sucks so bad you turn suicidal'' no clue what the context was#OH YEAH JAKE SAYING HE'D RATHER FUCKING DIE THAN KEEP WORKING HERE yeah. poor guy.#anyway im derailing my own post again uhhh. yeah. yeah i dont trust any phoney is avoiding the death sentence#dsaf#roger jones#dsaf roger#btw just for the sake of yapping longer i truly cant decide whether harry or jake would survive better in the enviroment#probably jake to be honest. I mean Harry has a lot of experience inside freddy's but he didnt really live outside it muhc#jake is so confrontational though#hey did you guys watch the hit movie felon? sure that guy wasn't framed but. i feel like jake would end up w that attitude#except for. you know. everything else that happens in the hit movie felon.#hey actually forget about this game go watch the 10/10 movie Felon from 2008 starring Val Kilmer and Stephen Dorff#because its one of my all time fave movies and probably the saddest i've seen#not bc there arent movies that are more tragic but bc no movie was able to break thru my walls of idgaf and make me cry anyway#yeah you thought i couldnt bring up my movie fixations on my different fandom posts well you were WRONG in fact#im gonna go tag my other post i left untagged yesterday bc my ass was Cooking
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quiescentdestiny · 6 months
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contemplating the conversation Neil and Andrew (and Renee) have in the locker room at the beginning of The King's Men.
"I've never understood why he likes knives" Such simple words should not have gotten the reaction they did. Andrew went still and looked up, but he didn't look at Neil. He looked at Renee, so Neil did too. She'd stopped mid-sentence to stare at Neil, but the Renee studying him wasn't the Foxes redeemed optimist. Her sweet smile was gone and the too-blank look on her face reminded Neil of Andrew. Neil instinctively tensed for flight-or-flight. Before his body figured out what to do, Renee shifted her inscrutable gaze to Andrew. They stared each other down, soundless and still, oblivious to the bewildered looks their teammates sent between them. (pg. 34)
And comparing it to Son Nefes (Extra Content)
"You could have chosen a weapon you were more comfortable with," Renee said. "It made sense at the time to pick it up," Andrew said with an expansive shrug. "He liked knives, and I like beating people at their own game."
and
"Do you know why I learned to fight with knives?" Renee asked. [..........]"He was older than me, and bigger than me, and stronger than me, so I had to find a way to fight him. He liked knives," she said, and Andrew flicked her a quick look she couldn't decipher, "so I decided to use them against him. I wanted to beat him at his own game, too."
ANYWAYS. I just thought I'd put all that in one single place because :))))
Especially since in TRK, when Neil and Renee talk, she says "But if you are as like us as we first predicted you to be, perhaps one day you can also come to see me as a friend."
Also the general fact that, there is a certain sense of... interest to me, I guess in the fact that Neil was purposely vague in hopes that everyone in the room would think he was speaking of Riko, when really he was talking about his father, who's his own monster from his past, and comparably made the two of them think of their own. Renee confirms this later to him(when she offers to teach him to wield knives), and Neil actually wonders about Andrew in that conversation as well.
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orcelito · 11 days
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Oh tho. Despite being at a concert at a bar with easy opportunity to have drinks. I looked at the menu as if I was gonna order anything, then thought to myself, "You don't drink anymore, hon" and went "Oh, right" then just got water.
So???? Given how matter of fact that thought was, maybe I really am fully sober from alcohol now. Interesting thought.
#speculation nation#cant say im fully sober all the time completely bc i may or may not have done a weed or two in recent weeks#but that's neither here nor there#well ok it is in fact here. in this conversation. bc it's relevant.#i just dont want to drink alcohol anymore. period. even when i was having a breakdown i didnt want to drink.#and even when i was at a concert venue having the time of my life. i didnt want to drink.#the thought of alcohol just does not appeal to me anymore. not with the connotations it has now.#but in lieu of that. i gave a little edible or two a try. since i already knew i fucking hated smoking weed#still wont do that. but a little recreational dabbling in a social setting... yea ok ive done a little#not interested in doing this kind of thing alone tho. or even regularly.#but for special occasions. in a social setting. since i dont drink alcohol anymore. this is a Way To Go.#alcohol ment/#drugs ment/#i think ill b posting about the drinking thing less now. bc this felt pretty conclusive to me.#ive been wavering on it for 2 and a half months now. unsure whether it was just the trauma and grief of it all.#i mean. it is. that's precisely why i am so suddenly no longer drinking.#but time is going by and ive had several opportunities to drink. times i wouldve taken in the past.#but my heart solidly told me No. i didnt want that.#and ykno what even with 0 alcohol i had the time of my fucking life at that concert.#26 going on 27 and suddenly completely sober because my dad died from alcoholism.#one of those things where. well. drinking isnt good for you anyways.#so if i dont wanna do it. well thats actually better for me in the end. so might as well lean into it.#idk whether this will be an actual longterm thing. but i suppose i'll find out!#for now at least. i have no interest in drinking. and so it shall remain in the near future.
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aeide-thea · 2 years
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the thing abt h*rry styles is like. i don't even personally like his music, and while i still haven't looked up the details of the latest nonsense it sure sounds like he said something dumb and unexaminedly homophobic and it's more than fair to critique that, but the way some people talk abt him sure is revealing wrt how agonizingly fucking narrowly they define queerness, and how viciously fucking snidely they want to police it!
#like—i'm not personally interested in making claims abt styles' sexuality in *any* direction#(pun not actually intended but.)#partially because i don't care#and partially bc quite frankly i think the level of entitlement wrt public figures' private lives is fucking. off the charts#we saw it with hashtag ownvoices and we see it with accusing real people of queerbaiting#actually ppl should be allowed to just. live their lives without yr desperately trying to shove them into one box or another#so you can decide whether you respect them or not#but like. when you make posts that are like. queerness is just abt who you fuck—#trans ppl see those posts. ppl who aren't getting laid see those posts. people who don't *want* to get laid see those posts.#i mean ultimately i guess if that's what queerness means then fuck queerness‚ i want radical acceptance#but also that definitely *isn't* what queerness means#anyway there's an extremely specific context here but also there's a whole pattern#of ppl being snide abt bisexuals and asexuals and 'transtrenders' and 'theyfabs' and ambiguously gnc ppl and it's just like. can you stop#the cishet normies in the bible belt hate *all* of us actually!#but like. also why is this conversation even *about* identity.#this whole idea that like. there are bigoted ppl and marginalized ppl and no overlap between the two is absolutely fucking wild to me#we all swim in a sea of toxic ideas and sometimes we regurgitate them and sometimes we even do it when they're poisonous to us personally!#someone saying something homophobic doesn't actually tell you whether they're straight#and if yr talking shit abt that‚ yr not talking abt the actual problem‚ which is the rhetoric in question and its implications#anyway. would truly *love* to get off this hill without dying but unfortunately. people keep charging up it
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dan-crimes · 1 year
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It really is so sexy of me to be an art blog that never ever posts my own art LMAO
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yesterday at work, the kids had to like, make their own puzzles by drawing stuff on paper n then cutting them into pieces n stuff, n this one kid came up to me saying that the kid sitting next to him was saying mean things, n the second kid was like, "it wasn't me, it was him!" n pointed at the creature he'd drawn for his puzzle.
i didn't really know how to handle the situation (though thinking about it, i probably should have just said that just bc the creature was saying mean things abt his friend didn't mean he was in the right for passing on those thoughts), so i just told him i didn't want to solve his puzzle if the creature it featured was gong to be so mean to other people, and for some reason it worked??
i guess it's just easy to forget how deeply children care about what adults think bc of how we as adults have learned to not care so much abt what other people think and operate on the assumption that others don't automatically care abt our thoughts.
#the worm speaks#it felt difficult to handle in the moment bc i don't want to stifle children's compulsion to explore ideas n concepts through fiction#specifically bc fiction and fantasy are very harmless spaces; but obviously what was being made was being used as a vehicle to bully others#and that was absolutely in need of correcting#and i wasn't sure how to reprimand that w/o possibly teaching kids to conflate something bad happening in fantasy#with doing bad things to others in reality#anyway thinking abt it today when making this post helped me pinpoint how to handle it next time#i.e. that kids are agents in their own right and they have the choice to pass things on to others#whether that be something kind and true like compliments; or mean and vicious like bullying; or even literal germs and disease!!#anyway the second kid actually seemed really nice once i insisted that i didn't want to do his puzzle bc it featured something mean#n like obviously i didn't want to tell kids that the things they make up are automatically reflections of the kind of person THEY are#bc that's super not true!!! but i poked abt asking him a couple questions abt it n that's how he ended up telling me 'he told me to say it'#'he lives inside of my head' n i was like 'hmm.' bc he's pretty young... first grade i think? so maybe a reflection of meaner impulses#but i'm not him! i can't say that for certain! n i don't believe in making those kinds of assumptions about people#so i guess the way i handled it was basically saying i didn't want to interact w/people who are influenced by others to be mean#i guess i'm always expecting to be working w/teenagers who'd be like 'you don't get it! i'm gonna make my own choices!'#n i'd be like 'yep sure buddy i'm not gonna stop you! but i'm setting my boundaries right here'#i have a bit of beef with how some of my coworkers treat kids-- like none of them are outright cruel i think#but i don't think some of them are being genuinely responsible with how they interact. i think it's good that they all try to be nice#n some take that to mean 'treat them like your friends!' (proceeds to gaslight kids abt whether a certain snack was available)#(n when the kids called them out they were like 'we're teaching kids to think for themselves! n to be confident in their own experiences')#like. i don't think that picking out the snacks you like before feeding the kids is right. we are not kings; we are caretakers#n like i can see how that can be kind of a joke one might make in certain flavors of friend groups but like. certainly not to a child.#one plays obvious favorites; others place restrictions w/o explaining why they're there (bc they're obvious to adults)#n tbh i'm probably a headache myself bc i'm ~probably~ enabling kids in some way so i'm not gonna condemn the ones who#tell kids 'no you can't do that' w/o much explanation. n i think for the most part they're all trying#but i STILL disagree w/my now-gone supervisor who insisted that i treat kids the way i do 'bc it's in my nature/personality'#it most CERTAINLY is not!!!!! i was SUCH a hater of ANYONE younger than me for a LONG TIME growing up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!#i had to be TAUGHT these things. i had to LEARN to LISTEN to kids and take them seriously!!!!!!!!!#a kid on friday told me he had mixed feelings abt some of his older friends possibly becoming youth workers at the camp in the summer
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arthur-r · 27 days
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also had the worst jumpscare yesterday at the dining hall i watched my ex walk out of the convenience store and then immediately aspired to just not notice him and let him take the lead on whether or not we are people who talk to each other, but looking back on it he almost 100% saw me see him and now assumes that i have personally decided to be people who don’t interact. which is FINE because he’s the fucking worst and i hate him. but GOD i just want him to come over and talk to me so i can even make a case for myself. like i’m still just looking for the opportunity to say “hey i was so on board to be friends but i don’t feel like you’ve treated me with respect or regard for my existence as a human being” but instead he just sees me duck behind walls and thinks “man what a weirdo who just randomly decided to hate me for the sole reason that i wasn’t romantically interested anymore. wow that’s so shallow and rude of him”
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hannahchronism · 11 months
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i saw. an edit on tiktok (yeah i know) of someone who had compiled a bunch of pictures they took when they started to feel like the thing they were doing wasn't real and that sort of. boxed me into acknowledging that that should probably be. the minority feeling. if it happens at all.
#smth smth christian household. smth smth father from very....#oh my mom said it the other day and it was such a good word for it but now i've lot it.#hmm anyway his father was army and not particularly. hm. not Not demonstrative but didn't Say things#father from very 'my dad was army and his dad was army' family#mother has image-focused gaslighter whose favorite child was the boy for a mother#(and her dad died when i was very little)#((and then actually dad's dad died when i was a little older but still. quite little.))#(((((that's a fun trend we have. there's more to it but that's . anyway.))))#this is a very circumventive way of getting do ''my god do i know how to not talk or address or look at things''#jordan's family freaks me out they all yell at each other about stuff and it's like. that's not allowed ;slkfjgs;dlkfjg#like that sound derogatory i really don't mean it to be and im sure there's a whole list of pros and cons for that one too it's just like#god it's So Different. it's so different. we don't yell until someone has like. Snapped. usually over something little#this has steered in a way that one wonders how the things are related but i swear they are#the ultimate point meant to be ''god i wish i knew how to talk'' which actually i guess isn't that it's really more like#god i wish i trusted myself to know how to talk because i do i worked very very very hard to be able to but im always afraid to do it anywa#it's so much easier to never say anything if you are willing to accept the cost of that#and if you have been doing it for a very long time its very hard to remember whether or not you are and how to hold on to not accepting it#which is mainly. rooted in self trust#im having a time. im trying very hard i know it does not look or sound like it.#and if you are down here this far please understand i don't think. that i want eye contact over the top of this post#i am very good at looking away. i am very good at (& used to) being invisible. being looked at is very scary.#i really almost don't like it very much at all but if you could sit with me without looking that would be. really very cool#but that is much harder online#hmmmmmmmmmm starting to feel very visible in fact right now but i've been posting on this blog for years since like the peak of disaster#why stop now
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inkskinned · 5 months
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it is the first snow today. i think we should all have off work, even though it didn't stick. i think there should be 4 national holidays, one for each season. happy first snow, go home and make cookies. for spring it can be the first crocus. for summer the first lightning bug. for autumn, the first golden leaf. go home, kiss your dog, feed your cat (who is absolutely already-fed but somehow still starving.)
i think we should all take more showers together, but i mean that in the soft way. i mean it like taking a nap. two years ago i had 5 adult friends in my queen bed, all of us laying across each other, head over belly over thigh over hand. any time one of us would giggle, it would ripple over each of us, like pulling on a spiderweb. kim actually needed to nap and didn't get to sleep and i am still sorry for it even though this is one of my most precious memories.
i think we should all wash each other's hair, i mean. i walk my dog and i watch someone put up twinkle lights around their front porch. alex and i just moved, and i love the neighborhood. already so many of our new neighbors have stopped by to say hello. the nice lady downstairs also collects plants, like me. she gave us her number on a pink post-it note. i am trying to decide whether to make her cookies or brownies.
i am going through a very hard time. something bad happened this weekend that i do not wish to discuss. it is hanging over me. i think of the green ribbon, and the woman who had her throat cut. it feels like that sometimes, inside of my body. like i am walking and talking despite being half-corpsed. like i am hanging on by a ribbon, standing on some kind of cusp. i keep saying - at least it wasn't worse. we are so lucky it wasn't worse. the idea is river-rock smooth now, all the edges worried off.
in this very dark night - the sun sets by 3 now - people don't need to, but they try anyway. they paint the missing light into things. i have an embarrassing number of missed calls and texts, but i feel the love from them nevertheless - hey. if you need something, i'm here. i will bring you food/puzzles/anything. i got you.
i think we should all have a big group chat where we do errands with strangers. this week i got lost in a home depot, which is wild because i'm a lesbian and we are actually hatched in a lowe's lumber section. there were two other women in the whole store. we ended up shopping together, at first by accident (we all needed things in the same aisle), and then because, well, why not. one of the ladies was taller than me, so she pulled down the screws i needed. i am agile and have the personality of a raccoon, so they sent me after anything below 3 feet. we talked about holiday plans and never learned each other's names, but did learn all the drama about each other's families.
i am making you cupcakes, because i have so much affection i want to pour it into batter. you ask me if i am eating enough per meal. i wrap your gift twice, trying to do it prettily. i get excited to give it to you, just because i hope you'll be excited too.
my parents drive an hour just to see the new apartment and to do the parent thing; standing in the kitchen saying things like "oh you'll get so much use from this dishwasher" and "well, you could paint that" and "when your mother and i moved it was uphill both ways and in a snowstorm and of course your brother was an infant." my mother brought me a plant for housewarming. i always say i love you before she leaves.
i play dnd on tuesdays still, after all these years. we all keep that night free. at one point, between grad school and marriage and all of it, we had to have a serious discussion about how to keep it running. we will keep going, we decided eventually. just to see each other, even if we don't play - you are all important to me. sebastian is not prone to affection but last night he stole my usual sign off - i love you all, be good, he said. he was laughing.
i don't love the winter, actually. i like snow in theory, but i grew up in the north, and am too-familiar with the season of "mud and sludge". i don't like being cold. but i do love something kind of soft and rare: every year around this time, people remember oh yes. you and i are human together. and i have love to spare.
it is the first snow, and something in my heart is finally warm again. i have spent what felt like the last 18 months just going-through-the-motions. it has felt blank and immediate, like i would never actually feel again. that sounds extremely trite and stupid - but that is the boring and familiar experience of depression. life just washes up against your windows, and you watch it happening. you see things that should be lovely and affecting, and it just whispers too-thin. i was desperately uncreative. uninterested in my hobbies. unimpressed by my writing. i told my therapist, often, i don't know how to find hope again.
almost sheepishly, something strange and lovely is burning in my chest. i keep not-looking at it, worried it will scamper back into the shadows again. it is skittish and wild, but it is so warm i want to sink my hands into its fur and feel it breathing. i love-hate it: if it's real, it can hurt me when it leaves again. but i am icarus-born, sun-lover and poet: i can't help myself. despite my best intentions, i am falling in love with life again.
i am planning to make cookies for my friends. alex and i are going to go christmas tree shopping. we picked out matching dish towels last night, and they have little mushrooms on them.
i love you. it does come back. yes, even after a long time. even for you. i promise. keep trying. you will wake up and it will be a day you can smile about.
write me when you get there. we will take the day off of work, and i will wash your hair, and we will both be laughing.
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astronicht · 1 month
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Okay I'm almost done with Fellowship, here's an incomplete list of shit I noticed and thought was buck fucking wild on my first ever read-thru: medieval edition.
In literally the second line of the book, Tolkien implies that Bilbo Baggins wrote a story which was preserved alongside the in-universe version of the Mabinogion (aka the best-known collection of Welsh myths; I promise this is batshit). This is because The Hobbit has been preserved, in Tolkien's AU version of our world, in a "selection of the Red Book of Westmarch" (Prologue, Concerning Hobbits). If you're a medievalist and you see something called "The Red Book of" or "The Black Book of" etc it's a Thing. In this case, a cheeky reference to the Red Book of Hergest (Llyfr Coch Hergest). There are a few Red Books, but only Hergest has stories).
not a medieval thing but i did not expect one common theory among hobbits for the death of Frodo's parents to be A RUMORED MURDER-SUICIDE.
At the beginning of the book a few hobbits report seeing a moving elm tree up on the moors, heading west (thru or past the Shire). I mentioned this in another post, but another rule: if you see an elm tree, that's a Girl Tree. In Norse creation myth, the first people were carved from driftwood by the gods. Their names were Askr (Ash, as in the tree), the first man, and Embla (debated, but likely elm tree), the first woman. A lot of ppl have I think guessed that that was an ent-wife, but like. Literally that was a GIRL. TREE.
Medieval thing: I used to read the runes on the covers of The Hobbit and LOTR for fun when I worked in a bookshop. There's a mix of Old Norse (viking) and Old English runes in use, but all the ones I've noticed so far are real and readable if you know runes.
Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you once spent months of your life researching the early medieval art of galdor, which was the use of poems or songs to do a form of word-magic, often incorporating gibberish. If you think maybe Tolkien did not base the entirety of Fellowship so far around learning and using galdor and thus the power of words and stories, that is fine I cannot force you. He did personally translate "galdor" in Beowulf as "spell" (spell, amusingly, used to mean "story"). And also he named an elf Galdor. Like he very much did name an elf Galdor.
Tom Bombadil in fact does galdor from the moment we meet him. He arrives and fights the evil galdor (song) of the willow tree ("old gray willow-man, he's a mighty singer"), which is singing the hobbits to sleep and possibly eating them, with a galdor (song) of his own. Then he wanders off still singing, incorporating gibberish. I think it was at this point that I started clawing my face.
THEN Tom Bombadil makes perfect sense if you've read the description of the scop's songs in Beowulf (Beowulf again, but hey, Tolkien did famously a. translate it b. write a fanfiction about it called Sellic Spell where he gave Beowulf an arguably homoerotic Best Friend). The scop (pronounched shop) is a poet who sings about deeds on earth, but also by profession must know how to sing the song or tell the story of how the cosmos itself came to be. The wise-singer who knows the deep lore of the early universe is a standard trope in Old English literature, not just Beowulf! Anyway Tom Bombadil takes everyone home and tells them THE ENTIRE STORY OF ALL THE AGES OF THE EARTH BACKWARDS UNTIL JUST BEFORE THE MOMENT OF CREATION, THE BIG BANG ITSELF and then Frodo Baggins falls asleep.
Tom Bombadil knows about plate tectonics
This is sort of a lie, Tom Bombadil describes the oceans of old being in a different place, which works as a standard visual of Old English creation, which being Christian followed vaguely Genesis lines, and vaguely Christian Genesis involves a lot of water. TOLKIEN knew about plate tectonics though.
Actually I just checked whether Tolkien knew about plate tectonics because I know the advent of plate tectonics theory took forever bc people HATED it and Alfred Wegener suffered for like 50 years. So! actually while Tolkien was writing LOTR, the scientific community was literally still not sure plate tectonics existed. Tom Bombadil knew tho.
Remember that next time you (a geologist) are forced to look at the Middle Earth map.
I'm not even done with Tom Bombadil but I'm stopping here tonight. Plate tectonics got me. There's a great early (but almost high!) medieval treatise on cosmology and also volcanoes and i wonder if tolkien read it. oh my god. i'm going to bed.
edit: part II
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gothicprep · 1 year
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i've been meaning to write something for a while now about how misinformation is not a partisan issue, it's just an issue in general. i was mulling over writing something about how infowars waterboards statistics into saying whatever alex jones wants – i'll still probably do that in the future – but it's not something that exactly supports my thesis here.
but, lucky me, i had a perfect example fall into my lap this week.
so, was andrew tate taken into custody over twitter beef with greta thunberg? the short answer is "no" but i'll elaborate.
here's the primary romanian news report about the cops taking the tate brothers into custody. the way that this has been reported in US news media has basically been that a pizza box in andrew tate's video response to thunberg helped romanian authorities confirm his location. here's a daily beast article that insinuates this:
In a video rant he uploaded to Twitter, in which he smoked a cigar and tried to brush off the online spat, he unwittingly displayed a pizza box from a local pizza chain—alerting authorities looking for him to his presence in the country.
here's the problem with that, though – none of the romanian journalists who reported on this story said anything about the pizza box thing. there's also a huge problem with these stories just... citing each other.
if you dig through the citation loop long enough, you end on this daily star article that cites tweets (jurnelism!) from, of course, alejandra caraballo
According to Alejandra Caraballo, a writer and clinical instructor posting on Twitter: “Romanian authorities needed proof that Andrew Tate was in the country so they reportedly used his social media posts.
(as an aside, if you follow her on twt, i'd heavily recommend against doing that. she spews bullshit like her life depends on it and i think this is inexcusable.)
these are caraballo's tweets in question:
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the source for this is the romanian article i linked to earlier in this post. it doesn't say any of this. at least, the english translated version of it doesn't. for what it's worth, i'm not a romanian speaker, and i don't have any benchmark for judging if google's translation service is missing linguistic nuances. here's what it actually says:
Sources close to the investigation stated, for Gândul , that shortly after the completion of the computer expertise, the authorities waited for the right moment to catch the Tate brothers, who were always out of the country.
After seeing, including on social networks, that they were together in Romania, the DIICOT prosecutors mobilized the special troops of the Gendarmerie and descended, by force, on their villa in Pipera, but also on other addresses.
it's also probably worth pointing out that tate's villa was previously searched in april. while the article does say that social media was used to help confirm their location, it doesn't say anything about pizza boxes. and, like, given that tate is a prolific social media poster and was tweeting out videos of romania on sunday, i think it's safe to assume they had a wealth of other information to go off.
and if you don't want to take my word for it, nyt and wapo both reported that the spokesperson for the romanian prosecutor presiding over the case denied the pizza box thing:
Speculation online centered on whether a distinctive pizza box featured in one of Mr. Tate’s tweets to Ms. Thunberg had helped lead the authorities to him, but Ramona Bolla, a spokeswoman for the Directorate for the Investigation of Organized Crime and Terrorism, told The New York Times on Friday that that was not the case.
anyway, ain't it funny how caraballo's made the fuck up pizza tweet got 76 million views, 97k retweets, and 525k likes, while her appended correction got 78k views, 100 retweets, and 820 likes. her initial "source: my mind" tweet is still up. ain't. it. funny.
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orcelito · 1 year
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I do love how I bought xmas gifts last week, got home, then shoved them in my closet to not look at or think about at all. Like "done with YOU for now. Bye."
#speculation nation#i should check on them to make double check i got everything and that nothing broke in the bike ride home lmfao#i literally just remembered it tho#went thru the heartbreak of paying large sum of money and was like 'ok time to not think about u for half a week'#i had. help. with the money actually.#it's a little hilarious lmfao. but like it's not like i broke my own bank or w/e#im just allergic to spending large sums of money all at once. whether or not it's money i actually earned </3#ft me making orders for work & my eyes kinda bugging out seeing the like hundreds or even over a thousand dollar orders#on food items like every week#me starting out like 'what do you MEAN it's $40 for a box of milk?!?!??! HELLO????"#i feel like their prices r horribly marked up. but then again this is not my money and so i do not truly care lmfao#...anyways yea i got gifts but they are hiding. from both the world and from me. i do not want to see them.#im a lil excited for gift wrapping tho. i love wrapping my presents in increasingly stupid & creative ways#if i have any fun ideas this year i may just post the final forms. maybe.#this isnt in a way of like. making cool wrapping jobs that look like other things#im utter dogshit at wrapping and i dont care to learn how to make them pretty. so i just do whatever the fuck i want#my family has learned to expect it. if they see an eccentricly wrapped present under the tree they KNOW it's from me#practically my brand at this point. and i would hate to disappoint ❤#i have one more day of work and then i go on break and i am so READY for it. filled with thoughts of having free time. ouughh
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yamujiburo · 1 month
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Why I Love Hanamusa
I get this question very frequently but have never given a really in depth, definitive answer. All just kinda implied through my comics and spread out asks. So here's this I guess! Long post ahead:
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First, as a Pokémon fan in her mid 20s, I love seeing a ship where the characters are both in their mid/late 20s. Already, they’re much more relatable to me and my current experiences. Most Pokémon ships are between preteens, which can be cute but ultimately don’t interest me as much as they used to when I was a kid myself. Not enough to get super invested in and draw a lot of fanart for anyways haha.
I’ll also start by saying that canon doesn’t always influence whether or not I’ll ship something. I’m much more drawn to potential. Could the characters work together? Do their personalities work together in a nice way? I feel like this so much of fanon is anyways. Especially with queer relationships because they’re rarely depicted in the first place. A lot of the context for these ships is usually up to the fans to piece together or make up in general. And that’s the fun part to me!
Jessie and Delia have only met in the anime a handful of times. Any interaction they’ve had has either been pleasant, or just a typical Team Rocket interaction, with Delia dismissing them/not seeing them as a threat. Already a great jumping off point for me since, truly, they don’t have any actual beef or true, ill feelings towards each other. It’s not TOO out of the realm of possibility for them to potentially fall for each other. “But Jessie chased Delia’s son around trying to steal his Pokémon!” That’s where that dismissive and aloof attitude that Delia has comes into play. I’ll go more into Delia’s whole deal a bit later but I do think this aspect of her personality is a large reason why this ship can work. It’s not that she doesn’t care that Jessie has a bad past, but she can tell that, on the inside, Jessie’s a good person. And, in a scenario where Jessie is trying to become a better person, is forgiving enough to give her a shot. I feel like this is such a solid foundation for a ship. A character who has done wrong but is trying to be better and another character who is willing to help them be better. A classic dynamic!
It’s not just one-sided though; where Jessie is the only one benefitting and learning from the relationship. I believe Delia could get a lot out of being with someone like Jessie. To understand why, I think it’s important to know these characters’ respective backstories.
Jessie is an orphan/foster child who grew up in poverty. Her mother Miyamoto (from The Birth of Mewtwo) was a Team Rocket operative herself, who went on a mission to find Mew. In order to do this, she had to leave Jessie when she was just a toddler. Unfortunately, Miyamoto went MIA on her mission leaving Jessie to more or less fend for herself. Jessie went through life with zero stability, evident by her MANY different careers and constant moving around. It’s implied in the show that she went from foster home to foster home, and later in life tried being an idol, weather girl, florist, wine connoisseur, actress, most notably a nurse and finally a Team Rocket field agent. And even while in Team Rocket, she, James and Meowth were always doing odd jobs to get by. We see that Jessie used to be a sweet kid, and even adult, but the world and her circumstances repeatedly did her dirty, leading her to become the character we know today. Hot tempered, mean, selfish, etc. But despite this, her soft side does still shine through for the people and Pokémon she cares about. She is incredibly loyal.
Delia, unbeknownst to a lot of fans, also had a rough past (see Pocket Monsters: The Animation). Like Jessie, she had a lot of dreams and aspirations like wanting to be a model and even a trainer. But when she was 10, her mother didn’t let her, telling her that she had to stay home and learn to run the family restaurant (she’s an only child). Delia’s father left her and her mother to be a trainer, and never returned. When she was 18, she married Ash’s father and became pregnant shortly after. But right after Ash was born, he also set off to be a Pokémon trainer. And soon after that, her mother passed away, leaving Delia with just the restaurant and baby Ash. This gives so much context to Delia’s attitude in the show. We see that Delia is pained whenever Ash leaves on a journey, but she never shows that pain to anyone. ESPECIALLY Ash. She’s very quick to shoo him off when he shows any sign of wanting to go on another journey and even when he returns home, she acts more excited to see Pikachu than him almost every time. Without all this backstory, it’s easy to just read this as a funny gag, BUT with context, I think it really shows how quickly Delia shuts down and detaches in order to not confront her own feelings. She’s afraid of losing people and getting hurt again.
All that said, I think Jessie and Delia provide each other with EXACTLY what the other needs. 
Aside from becoming rich and famous, Jessie’s biggest aspiration is to get married. In my opinion, this is more so an underlying want for love and stability. There is no one more stable in the show than Delia. Delia’s lived in Pallet her whole life, she’s worked at the same restaurant since she was young and she is always there when Ash comes back home. She has all the love, patience and stability Jessie needs and craves. While forgiving, Delia’s not stupid and can keep Jessie in check. Delia’s also just an angel, which I feel, would make Jessie want to be better. And on top of all this, on more of a surface level, Delia’s a chef and excellent cook. She shows love through cooking and Jessie, who grew up poor, regularly starving and eating snow, happily receives that love. Jessie’s able to live a happy and healthy life with someone like Delia.
Delia, as stated, is very stable. Likely pretty monotonous and solitary, especially living in such a small town like Pallet. This isn’t a bad thing but it’s a little sad when you consider that Delia also had dreams of traveling, being a model and a trainer. She had to give up so many dreams in order to fulfill her duties as a restaurant owner and mother. And even now, when Ash is off on his journey, she feels the need to always be home and be that stable pillar, leaving behind any ambitions she had, thinking it’s too late for her (she’s only 29 btw). But then along comes Jessie, dangerous, passionate, an absolute firecracker. Someone who’s whole life has been about chasing dreams and either, never giving up on them or finding a new dream to chase. Upon learning about Delia’s past aspirations, I could see Jessie pushing her towards them, letting her know that life’s too short and she has nothing to lose from trying. On top of this, Jessie’s also loyal. She, James and Meowth are depicted as doing anything for anyone who gives them food or shows them kindness. Delia does both so there’s no way Jessie would leave her. This fulfills an essential need for Delia, who is afraid of the people in her life leaving her.
There’s so much potential for mutual growth and learning between these two and I adore that. They compliment each other, they help each other and they bring out the best qualities in one another.
I’m not really sure how to end this and I could truly talk about them even more but I don’t want this to be tooooo long haha. OH I could end it with maybe the most funny aspect of this ship that I've brushed over and also what drew me to it in the first place. Jessie. As Ash’s stepmom. THE END.
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