#i dont understand. shes convinced that every normal person behaves like her

[stardustfanfare]

.

[ask-hunterxhunter]

Helloo royal Guards as yandere please

But without the presence of Meruem because I find it difficult for them to fall in love with Reader while serving the King.

Mmmh, Neferpitou with a Reader male because my headcanon is that she is a infertile female uhhh I dont know how to explain it but I think that in the ant castes there are infertile females that are workers

Yeah, as far as I know, that's how it is with ants... I'm not an expert, but I think the female workers are infertile and care for the queen. Their development depends on how much food they receive when they're larvae. If there is abundance, some larvae will be "princess ants" (fertile and will leave the colony to start their own once the time is right).

Hmm... The Chimera Ants, however, seem to work quite different. Besides the whole "Ant Giving Birth to an Anthro Lion" and what not, they didn't end up starving once the queen died (which I read happens because there are no more larvae and the ants need them to properly feed) and many of them left to try starting colonies of their own (even some of the males seemed to want that, not just females like Zanzan)...

Perhaps this is more like some species of wasp? I've read that the queen produces a pheromone that keeps the others infertile. Once she dies, they battle for dominance in order to become the next queen. With the Chimera, however, they left for new territories rather than stay and fight...

...

Is there an entomologist in the house?

Neferpitou

The royal guards, regardless of Meruem’s presence, are not exactly easy to deal with even in their normal state (and I don’t think this is simply because they are not humans). Take them to Yandere level and, well, let’s just say it is not a pretty picture…

Pitou is not someone whose interest is easily aroused (she is the kind that “knows several people but regards only a few of them as her actual friends”) and, in a sense, the opposite is also true: It’s not easy to lose such interest, either. With her in Yandere-mode, well, it’s basically impossible. Once you’ve realized what is going, taking the usual measures to try dealing with it (such as moving, contacting the police, so on), don’t waste any time hoping she will “move on” or “change targets” as some stalkers do. It's not in her nature (both due to her personality and instincts).

Not that you would certainly realize what is going on right away. It would depend on her mood and how she decides to deal with her feelings (and she can’t change this decision): She may just go for the straight, extreme actions or keep a convincing facade of normality for a while… Regardless of whether this “normality” is you trying to kill each other or being friends (or she at least living in peace among humans)...

In the “enemies” case, Pitou would not spend days brooding about having fallen for an enemy and trying to get rid of those feelings. She would just shrug the situation off and start to debate whether it’s best to kidnap you right away or try to court you. If she’s working with other Ants for whatever reason or they just happen to be in the area, she would make sure everyone knows you are not to be hurt (and may God have mercy on whoever doesn’t listen). Her attacks would still be convincing from your point of view while being harmless playing in Pitou’s mind. After all, she lets you escape with no injures!

The “convincing facade” is more regarding how deep (and unsettling) her feelings are. In both scenarios, she would confess soon and, being what/how she is, likely act on it. No matter how much you explain you’re not interested or what arguments you use, Pitou would just wave her tail, perhaps ask what you mean exactly in that “innocently curious” tone of hers and… Completely ignore what you just said.

Well, okay, maybe you need to remember she isn’t completely human, so you can’t demand that she behaves like one, right?

Oh, boy, are you making a mistake… Not being human doesn’t mean that Pitou doesn’t understand that there are limits.

She understands.

She just couldn’t care less.

Remember when she probed Pokkles’ brain with him still alive? When Gon and Killua saw her for the first time? This is nothing next to how she can be when she’s obsessed with you.

I mentioned she would act on her feelings, right? Here’s another thing: She is also likely to do so in the manner of an animal trying to attract a particular mate. And because we’re talking Yandere-mode, I don’t mean the “bird dancing” or “penguin offering a pebble”. Not even the “cat giving you a dead prey”…

If you’re friends/she’s living in the human society, there would be some restraint at first, to the point her insistence would seem innocent… Then she would either grow impatient and kidnap you, or things would escalate, giving you hints to the darkness of her feelings until you’re forced to accept that this friend is a threat to you. Maybe after returning home, you find a note in your bed in which Pitou wrote that she loves how soft your bed is, how your home’s security is lacking… And, by the way, that person seems to have a crush on you… Hmm… Should she break their hands or their legs? The playful tone of the note only makes it darker.

Somehow you know she is not kidding.

If you’re enemies, well, she has no reason to restrain herself from the start. Her interactions with you would become far darker even if she miiight not kidnap you right away (for whatever reason) especially since she wouldn’t waste time playing by human rules. Pitou would find a way to make a claim (pinning you down, rubbing herself against you like a cat, and even leaving a love bite/hickey on your neck are very much on the table) or say it loud and clear in battle when there are other humans around. This isn’t just for the other humans, but for you as well: You’re hers, now. There is no room for discussion.

Also, in this scenario, it’s not impossible that Pitou’s “love” started with her deciding to make you her pet. Collar and all.

It should be said that Pitou is a cat in almost every sense, so the tendency to “play with her food” is very much present... Yes, she sees you as a “mate” rather than “prey”, but your attempts to avoid/hide from her consist of an opportunity that is far too good to miss! You change address and, after a few days, start to relax… Only for her to leave a new “present” at your door! It’s both funny and cute how you thought something so simple would keep her away! Awww, you’re so adorable!

Again, it’s true that some of her actions (such as this) have no malice whatsoever behind them, but I repeat, don’t let yourself be fooled: She is very much aware that what she is doing is creepy and wrong and why. I’m repeating this because Pitou can be as charming and cute as a cat… And as devious and sadistic as any human.

While some yanderes give you time (perhaps hoping you’ll eventually come around or because chasing you is so much fun), Pitou is among those who won’t take long before deciding to “take you home”.

Pitou loves having you all to herself and will be very affectionate, especially when it’s just the two of you. Maybe this sounds a little cute on principle? Yeah, trust me, it is not. It’s terrifying! Even when you reject her and she caresses your head saying you’re cute, you can see the insanity in her eyes, mixed with a sick infatuation.

It doesn’t help that, at times, her being “affectionate” involves brushing your hair, cuddling and even bathing together. Not only this invasion of space can already be uncomfortable, something about how Pitou does it makes you feel too much like a pet, especially when she talks about how much she loves you, how lovely you are, and how she is never going to let you go. In this situation, and the way she speaks, those words make you feel cold.

You should have realized by now that there is no reasoning with her and this isn’t because she is not human. Pitou is likely to twist your arguments or make points that would frankly make you think she learned from Illumi or Hisoka (and she only does that because she thinks it’s funny, anyway).

As for Pitou, well, she can’t say she is happy that you’re uncomfortable, but she believes it’s just temporary and you’ll get used to your new life… Hey, humans capture animals all the time to put them in zoos or circus. She isn’t that bad in comparison, now, is she?

She’s easily the kind of yandere that responds to pleas for freedom by caressing your head and saying you’re cute. How could she possibly let you go? You’d run away! Besides, she can keep you well-fed and protected. You say such silly things, love!

That’s not to say Pitou doesn’t have a limit to how much rejection she can take or her patience. And this is a line you don’t want to cross. It’s hard to say if Pitou would get to the point of physical punishment, but this doesn’t mean she wouldn’t make use of other means.

Menthuthyoupi.

It’s not easy to catch the attention of any of the Royal Trio, each for their own reasons. In Youpi’s case, it’s partially because he doesn’t have any human DNA on him, so despite being able to communicate and all, he doesn’t usually pay that much attention to people. It’s almost like he’s an alien (or we are, in his view). Even in a scenario when he is living in peace with humans, he doesn’t have exactly a clear opinion about them. They just exist. Maybe a few of them are okay enough, but that’s it… And in a scenario when he is still fighting them, well, they are the enemy. It’s pretty simple.

Youpi is direct, both in personality and as a Chimera Ant (in that he follows his instincts without hesitation). As such, like Pitou, he wouldn’t avoid his feelings once he comes to understand them. It’s a little strange, yes, but he accepts the fact that he loves you and that’s it. That said, Youpi would be initially confused (especially if you’re an enemy. How on Earth did he develop this sort of feeling for someone he’s supposed to kill?), and he wouldn’t make a move until he is sure of what he is feeling and what he wants.

Sadly, because this isn’t him in a healthy state of mind, this doesn’t mean anything good for you. This isn’t a shy monster-boy finding a human he considers special. This isn’t even “enemies falling in love” or “dark romance”. This is an “already dangerous individual” developing an equally dangerous obsession.

At first, Youpi starts to stalk you (if you’re his enemy/if you’ve never spoken before) or try to find excuses to spend more time with you (if you’re on friendly terms) in this attempt to understand exactly what is going on with himself. During this time, his feelings for you become stronger along with his desire to know everything about you. He’s curious. He’s fascinated. He wants to see you more often. He wants to talk with you… He just wants to be near you…

It’s pretty disturbing because, despite his size, Youpi will find the means to stalk you without anyone realizing it, just like an animal hunting. You may notice a shadow here and now, feel a chill up your spine, but it won’t be enough to make the danger clear enough. If you two are enemies, there are chances you’ll realize that there is something is wrong, as he either avoids fighting you (no issues with anyone else, though) or that he doesn’t seem to be actively trying to hurt you as much as before… Despite this, you’ll never, ever imagine he is in love with you.

Well, disturbing as it may be, it sounds almost as harmless as he can be in this scenario, right?

Not the case. You can’t forget how obsession grows, how it affects a person, and that it gets to the point when merely stalking isn’t enough. There is no such thing as a harmless yandere/stalker. So even if Youpi, at first, is satisfied with merely watching you from afar and making sure you aren’t hurt, it starts to not be enough. He sees you with your friends, smiling at them, hugging them, laughing… And he starts to imagine how it would be to have you doing these things with him, to be the one who makes you smile, to be the one holding you… And he realizes he wants it.

He loves you. He wants you.

And there is no reason to not act on those feelings.

Regardless of the circumstances between you, he seems to take the rejection well (if you manage to control the shock, act calmly and explain your reasons for it). At first, he thinks about your points and may even understand them… Only to find out that he doesn’t care. He can’t forget you. He can’t let go of you… And honestly, he doesn’t really want to. That you don’t feel the same now doesn’t matter. Don’t some couples start not feeling the same for each other, only for those feelings to change later?

In the case of “peaceful existence”, it might be easier to get a glimpse of his instability than with the Neferpitou, but it doesn’t make much of a difference. Even the precautions people normally take in those situations would only work for a certain time… The myth of the animal that “will pursue its prey to the ends of the Earth once it has its scent” is true when it comes down to Youpi (literally even).

Now, while Youpi is less likely to resort to kidnapping (at least right away), he would still find ways to inject himself into your life, so even then, you can’t say you’re free. He may not go straight to threatening your loved ones (and it’s hard to predict if he would follow with it), but there are many other tactics that he could and would use.

And being less likely to kidnap you doesn’t mean he wouldn’t if he didn’t decide it is the better course of action. After all, no matter how strong you prove yourself to be, it doesn’t mean you’re invincible. It doesn’t mean you can’t be hurt. If he keeps you, he can’t make sure you’re safe.

Either way, there is no way to be free of him.

If he kidnapped you, Youpi wouldn’t go so far as to place you in an actual cage or chain you up, but he would find means to make sure you can’t leave.

He is easily the most patient of the trio, including with your rejections and attempts to escape. It doesn’t please him and nothing can convince him to let you go, but at least Youpi doesn’t get angry, condescending, or twist things around. In fact, it gets to the point when you can lose control and try hitting him that he wouldn’t even raise his voice. He would just hold your wrists (carefully) and try to calm you down…

Now, just because he isn’t human, it doesn’t mean Youpi is unable to understand that what he is doing is wrong and why you’re so unhappy. Hey, animals also don’t like to be taken from the place they consider their home like that. He can relate, he can understand. But his obsession is too great for him to let you go and, instead, he hopes that you’ll adapt with time.

Not having human genes and understanding even less about humans than Pitou and Pouf, in his desire to make you comfortable (and make you accept him), Youpi would likely try to learn what he can about humans (probably even asking for Pitou’s help).

For Youpi, your presence alone makes him feel good. While he wouldn’t force you into things that make you uncomfortable or excessively invade your personal space the way Pitou might, there would still be times when Youpi would want to show you some affection. Chances are, he would enjoy holding you close (especially because, next to him, you feel so small and cute) and nuzzling you, which is not only a common expression of affection among animals, but it also gives him an extra opportunity to enjoy your scent.

Youpi might be less cruel than most of yanderes, but this doesn’t mean much. At the end of the day, whether he has kidnapped you or not, the situation is still essentially the same. You’re being hurt either way…

Shaiapouf.

Even in his normal state of mind, for all his apparent calmness and self-control, it’s been showed several times that Pouf can be actually quite intense with his emotions, to the point they cloud his thoughts (and that’s a polite way to say it). Well, multiply that by a thousand and you’ll only scratch the surface of how he becomes as a Yandere.

Even if, by some miracle, this is a scenario where Pouf lives peacefully with humans it doesn’t mean he likes them. It’s more that he “tolerates” and “accepts” their existence as an unpleasant fact and it’s very much unlikely he would have human friends (he would probably find a way to live with comfort and luxury while having as little contact as possible with them). In a sense, you can compare him to some yokais in Inuyasha… He doesn’t go out of his way to antagonize humans (and risk a fight), but he sure as hell doesn’t care for them.

Until you, that is.

Pouf will never be able to say when his feelings for you started to grow and it will take a long time for him to understand them. By the time this happens, well, he is way into “Obsession Land”. Once he can no longer deny what he feels and it hits him that he loves you, his first reaction is… Well, pretty much an emotional tantrum, followed by self-despise and intense fury. How could he ever fall for a human? Disgraceful! Terrible! How could he fall so low? He even tries to hate you for making him feel that way, only to realize he can’t.

This lasts for a while, with him trying to convince himself to bury those feelings, no matter what it takes. If you two are enemies, be prepared: Pouf may consider killing you as the only way to “get rid of this shame”. He soon realizes he can’t bear the idea of you being hurt, let alone by him (well, like this, I mean)… But at least you’re not having to deal with his obsession yet.

Sadly, it doesn’t mean this will last long enough for something to happen before things get out of control. Pouf can’t get you out of his mind, possibly deciding to “observe you” in order to “remind himself” that you’re just a human: Flawed, inferior, and unworthy. This evolves into stalking and has the opposite effect: He becomes more and more infatuated, as well as worried that you might get hurt. You’re so beautiful, so gentle… You should not be fighting! At all! Oh, you’re an angel. No wonder he fell for you! You’re perfect for him!

If this is the “peaceful scenario”, the course of events is still pretty similar, no matter how you’ve met. At first, wanting to get you out of his system, he may be cold whenever you meet and even a little nasty, but it won’t work. He will start to long for more of your presence and if he manages to spend time with you, to consider you only of the few (if not the only) human who is better than the rest of the masses.

Either way, once he accepts that he loves you, you’re screwed.

In the “enemy scenario”, Pouf may try once to convince you to come with him, speaking highly of you and how much he loves you… In his mind, it’s poetry. In reality? The words may be pretty, but the way he says them, the shine in his eyes, the way he insists to hold your hands between his… Well, it’s creepy. Pouf may accept you denying him for a while, but it won’t take long until he seizes the first chance he has to take you. He was just being polite, offering you the chance of doing so by choice (if he does that when you’re gravely injured in a battle, he will use that frequently to point out he saved you and how you need him to keep you safe).

In the “peaceful scenario”, again, it’s not that much a different course of events. Your attempts to make him understand you’re not interested are ignored and there is precious little that anyone can do to keep you safe and, yes, including the Hunter Organization. He would do everything to get you.

In his mind, he is not doing anything wrong. If anything, his actions are almost heroic and proof of his devotion to you.

When you wake up in an unknown location and start to freak out or try to escape, Pouf reacts as if this is just adorable, then going on about how he loves you and wants to keep you safe. And let me tell you, this isn’t a “flowery speech” or like his funny moments in the anime. At this moment you realize you’re in a lot of trouble and that the chances of Pouf ever letting you go are non-existent.

It's not easy to determine exactly how deep his delusion goes; if it’s only about the “perfect life” you two will share or if it includes you. It’s not impossible that Pouf isn’t really in love with you, but rather an idealized version of you. He may also believe that, deep down, you do love him and just need time to realize it.

Pouf is the “adoring” kind of Yandere. He would love to spoil you, care for you, and would want to lavish you with gifts. Perhaps you’d expect him to be the less dangerous of the trio, or at least the most manageable, right? You’re dead wrong. Pouf is actually the worst of them, maybe even on the list of the worst yanderes of all Hunter cast.

His personality also means Pouf doesn’t believe anyone is worthy of your attention and if there is anyone you like (or that he thinks you like), it’s just because they’re manipulative and toxic. It’s his sacred duty to keep you safe from such scum! Perhaps the better term for him, rather than “jealous”, would be “possessive”. As far as he is concerned, you have no need to get in contact with another human ever again.

You thought he hated Komugi? Trust me, that was nothing compared to this.

He would lock you in a room, which you’d only leave while accompanied by him (he can’t have you trying to run off, can he?). Actually… If that happens, you should be glad. This guy isn’t above placing bars along a corner of his chambers (they are certainly large enough), turning that area into your “room” (bed and all). It certainly would appeal to him, especially since it gives him more chance to watch you.

There are stories about how excessive love can be suffocating, the “The Chaser” episode from the “Twilight Zone”… Well, Pouf’s love wouldn’t follow this line. This would be just tiresome. His adoration is frightening, even for a Yandere. The way he’s so sweet to you is mixed with a certain darkness, not letting you forget you’re dealing with an unstable person.

He understands this is a time of adaptation for you and this change of life is a shock, but he wouldn’t be happy if you asked him to let you go every day. In the same sickly-sweet way of always, he will mix subtle (or not so subtle) threats with words of adoration. Maybe he should chain you up… Maybe you’re thinking about that person who (he believes) has a crush on you? Maybe he should make sure you never think of them again…

There is also the fact that Pouf is among the Yanderes who would have almost no respect for your personal space. For all his adoration of you, he can be quite manipulative and controlling: If he wants to hold you in his lap, brush your hair, have you sleeping next to him, dance with you, well… There is little point in fighting. You would have to choose your battles wisely and keep in mind that Pouf isn’t above tying you up if you “start to be difficult”. Some Yanderes are happy enough with having you with them and may have enough patience to “wait for you to love them back”… Well, with Pouf, it depends on his mood.

There would be times when his behavior is all “patient and loving” (more like he just smiles when you try to get away or lash out)… And times when he would basically “demand” that you love him. Not with words, though: You’d learn that there are times when it’s safer for you to act a little more loving towards him (within reason) rather than antagonize him.

[khataabehangel]

yasser aldurra

If you are reading this, it is because you searched the name, “Yasser Aldurra” in order to get to know him better. You want to dig up some dirt on him to see if he’s really the “good guy” that he claims to be. I am here to tell you, that if he asks for you, stay the hell away from him at all costs.

If you are here because you are searching for him as a doctor, I don’t know anything about that. I have no idea how he is as a physician. This post is strictly about him as a romantic partner. You won't find any reviews for him here so move along; this isn't for you.

For everyone else who is here because he asked for you for marriage... let me introduce myself. I am someone that met him for just a few days. We spoke to each other with the intention to get married. I have never bashed anyone after getting to know them, but he is such a liar and a bad person, that I felt like it is my duty to warn girls about him. Most of this stuff I picked up on because he never shuts up and he accidentally revealed too much about himself without realizing it. The rest I found out after things ended between us. When I first met him, I really thought that he was perfect, and I couldn't find anything wrong with him. Let’s just say that I was very wrong about that....

Here are some takeaway points if you don’t want to read this entire post:

he has actual narcissistic personality disorder and ALL the characteristics associated with that disorder

He’s insanely cheap and has lied about how much he makes (even if you don’t ask)

he’s a liar

he’s a liar

he’s a liar

everything he tells you is a lie.even things that don’t seem like lies, are lies. don’t believe anything he says. he twists the truth and gives half-truths to make things seem more plausible and believable even though they are lies.

HE NEVER SHUTS UP. HE TALKS SO MUCH AND HE’LL NEVER LET YOU GET A WORD IN

he’s manipulative

his “deen” is so incredibly flawed, and it is not the correct Islam that me and you follow.

he sees women as being inferior to men, and that men should control women and be the person in charge of the relationship. That men have the final say in all matters and that their opinion is more valid than the woman’s.

He’s able to fake being a certain way until he gets comfortable enough to reveal his true self that he hides behind his façade 

he has no friends.

HES A GUY WITH NO FRIENDS. HOW MANY GUYS DO YOU KNOW THAT DONT HAVE ANY FRIENDS?! I don’t freaking know any! he’s so intolerable that even guys don’t like being around him.

has no social skills

easily offended by EVERYTHING

his ego is as fragile as glasshe does not fight fair. if he gets hurt by something that you said, even if it was unintentional, he will say something exponentially more hurtful back to you as a defense mechanism. it’s not healthy.

he will never answer your questions directly. 

he will rush you to get married. he’ll use his age as the reason, but it’s really so that he traps you before you realize how trash he actually is.

he doesn't understand how to pace a relationship and will talk to you as if you've been together for years even if it’s just been a few days. He will rush you to move things forward even though you just met. When you refuse or say you need more time, he will try to make you feel guilty about it.

He constantly plays the role of the victim

He will try to make you feel sorry for him as a way to constantly control you and make things your fault, even when you’ve done nothing wrong.

He’s ridiculously controlling

he’s disrespectful as hell, and will even be disrespectful to your parents and your family

he doesn't understand boundaries or when to stop doing something, even if you ask him directly.

he is extremely blunt and hurtful

his expectations for marriage are unrealistic and unachievable. the girl he’s looking for doesn't exist in this century

he’s been through some traumatic things in his life that he’s never gotten past and it has heavily influenced how he is today. He needs some serious therapy, but ironically he’ll never get it because he thinks he’s perfect and doesn’t see anything wrong with himself.

he is childish and immature, even at 36 years old.

his mom. he worships her. their relationship is SO weird. he will tell his mom about everything that you have talked about.his mom expects to live with him in the future

even though he lives alone, he never took the time to teach himself how to cook

he cannot care for himself at any capacity and expects other people to do it for him. 

He is racist

he has a hard time understanding new things that he is unfamiliar with. even things that are common sense, he struggles with. 

he will belittle you and your knowledge, to make himself feel better about not understanding something. He will also go into an insane level of detail about a random topic, and when you change the subject, he goes back to it. If you ask him to move on from it, he won’t 

He will control every conversation that you will ever have. He will do it slowly, and you won’t realize it until one day when you get a text from him, and you become disgusted with the idea of talking to him.

He is extremely opinionated, and any opinion that you have that disagrees with his beliefs, he will argue about it with you forever. 

He says everything that he is thinking, no matter how inappropriate it is. 

He has no filter. Although he lies like crazy about his past and his flaws, he is extremely honest about his expectations and how he wants you to treat him. This normally would be a good thing, except for the fact that he expects to be treated like some sort of god. 

he’s insanely judgmental and not understanding. Anything that you share about yourself will somehow get thrown back in your face and used against you.

Gets angry at the stupidest, smallest things and will make things into a bigger deal than they actually need to be

He gets mad very quickly, and he doesn’t forgive or forget easily. You basically have to kiss his ass for him to forgive you for the “thing” that you did “wrong”, which is usually something stupid. He does this as a way to gaslight and control you.He will create issues out of thin air just to control your behavior and how you treat him.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Yeah......................... you should run for the hills. Do me a favor though and don’t tell him about this post. just say that you are not interested without giving a reason.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

First of all, he is not as religious as he claims to be. 

He claims to have memorized a large part of the Quran and he knows countless ahadeeth, but in reality, he only knows enough to quote it out of context to make whatever backwards argument that he is trying to make seem valid. He will use religion as the main source to back up all of his very twisted, and extremely unIslamic beliefs. He also uses it as a shield to defend himself in almost every situation. He also misquotes the ayah in surah an-nissa to convince you that men are supposed to control women, even though that’s not what that ayah means. He bends ayahs and takes them out of context just so he can use a strong source like the Quran to back up his weird, and twisted beliefs that have nothing to do with what the Quran is ACTUALLY saying (because he’s taking things out of context and interpreting them how he likes). Also, he mostly uses this to sell you the idea that he’s “a good guy”. Do not buy it. Do. not. buy. it. it is a lie. People that are actually religious do not do the things that he does or twist Islam to suit them. Islam gives clear instruction to men that they are the CAREGIVERS of woman. They are responsible for taking care of them, for spending on them, and for the other responsibilities that the girl’s parents had before she married that guy. They are not the “controllers” of women. Instead, they should be the leaders in the relationship because they have a bigger responsibility.

Secondly, and more importantly, he is a complete liar and this stems from the fact that he is a narcissist. I do not say this lightly. If you look up the DSM-5 definition of it, he fits the criteria perfectly. What is narcissism?

Narcissistic personality disorder — one of several types of personality disorders — is a mental condition in which people have an inflated sense of their own importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of empathy for others. But behind this mask of extreme confidence lies a fragile self-esteem that's vulnerable to the slightest criticism.

A narcissistic personality disorder causes problems in many areas of life, such as relationships, work, school or financial affairs. People with narcissistic personality disorder may be generally unhappy and disappointed when they're not given the special favors or admiration they believe they deserve. They may find their relationships unfulfilling, and others may not enjoy being around them.

Signs and symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder

People with the disorder can:

Have an exaggerated sense of self-importance

Have a sense of entitlement and require constant, excessive admiration

Expect to be recognized as superior even without achievements that warrant it

Exaggerate achievements and talents

Be preoccupied with fantasies about success, power, brilliance, beauty or the perfect mate

Believe they are superior and can only associate with equally special people

Monopolize conversations and belittle or look down on people they perceive as inferior

Expect special favors and unquestioning compliance with their expectations

Take advantage of others to get what they want

Have an inability or unwillingness to recognize the needs and feelings of others

Be envious of others and believe others envy them

Behave in an arrogant or haughty manner, coming across as conceited, boastful and pretentious

Insist on having the best of everything — for instance, the best car or office

At the same time, people with narcissistic personality disorder have trouble handling anything they perceive as criticism, and they can:

Become impatient or angry when they don't receive special treatment

Have significant interpersonal problems and easily feel slighted

React with rage or contempt and try to belittle the other person to make themselves appear superior

Have difficulty regulating emotions and behavior

Experience major problems dealing with stress and adapting to change

Feel depressed and moody because they fall short of perfection

Have secret feelings of insecurity, shame, vulnerability and humiliation

There’s a lot to unpack here. I know it’s a lot, but if you’re still reading this, it’s probably because 1) you are Yasser (hi!) you are so full of yourself that you googled yourself and got here or 2) you were actually considering moving forward with this guy, but you are now concerned (as you should be).

Let’s start with the inflated sense of their own importance.

He will talk about his achievements for hours if you let him. In general, he never shuts up or gives you the chance to speak. He has exaggerated so many of his achievements. The one most memorable to me was the fact that he claimed to have “two board certifications, and two specialties”. like... okay.... most doctors who have a specialty also are board certified in internal medicine... you're not special. He talks so much about how “hard” he worked to get to where he is today as if the people around him are just sitting on their asses doing nothing. He bragged forever about all the places that offered him a fellowship.. which ironically were only a handful. I did not feel like he was being honest about his job offers at all. and if he was, then he’s a complete dumbass for turning them down because the offer he ended up choosing was apparently a lot worse, according to him. so, he’s either a liar, or a dumbass... or both.

on that note: he would frequently bring up the topic of money and he overemphasized how “little” money he makes. Apparently, this is because he did not want people to take advantage of him, including the person he’s getting to know for freaking marriage. any idiot on the street will tell you that a doctor in this country, that has a specialty, and is working in a private practice makes well over $250-$350k MINIMUM. He kept saying how little money he made even though I never asked him about it or even mentioned it. Everything that he told me regarding the topic of money revolved around an idea from the Quran that is taken completely out of context: “a person who overspends is the friend of the devil” (misquoting the Quran and failing to mention the next ayah on how God does not like people who are excessively stingy).

He set an exact budget on how much money he thinks is okay to spend on certain items like cars, shoes, shirts, electronics, and even things like the heating bill. He made it clear which stores he likes to shop at (they were stores like kohl's and jc penny). It’s fine to have a budget and be smart with your money. But it’s not fine to ask the girl that you are getting to know how many shoes she owns, what stores she buys her clothes from, and then blatantly tell her that the places she shops are “too expensive” for him and that she can get clothes from Kohl’s and JC Penny like him. She can shop wherever the hell she wants to shop and spend however much she wants to spend. She didn’t get those things by using your wallet. You are just getting to know each other. Chill the fuck out. Just because he has a specific budget for how much he thinks it’s okay to spend on things, we weren’t even together, and he was already controlling and judging me for my spending habits. And just to be clear, I don’t even shop frequently, or at stores that are absurdly overpriced.  To hide the fact that he is so cheap, he then said “I don’t want you to think that I’m cheap. I donate a lot of my money to people in need.” A person who is not cheap doesn't need to say that they are not cheap.

For someone who speaks so highly of his achievements and success, it’s surprising that he constantly talks about how poor he is and how little money he spends.

I think we should talk about his biggest lie: what occurred in his past relationship.

Everything that he says is a lie, or some sort of twisted version of the truth. When I met him, he told me that he was divorced, which is true. But he made out his ex to be the shittiest person imaginable. He claimed that she was a “narcissist” (wow, projecting much?!). He also told me that he was the one who decided to end things with her, and that he “tried so hard to make it work but she was just very stubborn, controlling, and made him fear being around her.” He “didn’t feel safe around her.” When I asked him to clarify what he meant by that, he didn’t elaborate. It sounded like he was taking the words of his ex and using them to play the victim.

she apparently also wasn't there for him emotionally (which is imo impossible because he’s soooooooo goddamn needy, I can’t even imagine anyone even being able to fulfill this to be honest). He said that she didn’t pray, and he somehow didn’t pick up on this during their engagement!?! what a lie. whenever he would mention his engagement with her and all the “red flags” that he missed, he would always say, “I only blame myself, I’m dumb” trying to play the victim. worst of all.... he said that they were together only 6 months. Later on, I found out that they were together for TWO YEARS. I don’t know how the hell she managed to stay with his needy, controlling ass for 2 years, but may God reward her for what she endured. I couldn’t talk to him for more than a few days, I can’t imagine being with him for a few years. He bragged about how he paid her whatever was left of her mahr (dowry) and the class that she took when they ended things. He made it seem like his ex came from a very humble and simple family that was not very well-off financially, and that her dowry was A LOT.

I also found out that he was CRAZY controlling. His ex was apparently a super white and beautiful blonde. If they were in public and her sleeve came up a little to reveal her wrist, he would lose his shit. He was unbelievably jealous.

When they were signing the papers to get married, her parents, (who I found out later from someone.. are actually insanely well-off because her dad is a successful af businessman), didn’t ask for any mahr (dowry) because they trusted that his career as a physician is promising and that he would take care of their daughter. The person writing the papers said that they had to put down a number, because Islamically, it is the right of the girl to receive a gift from her new husband. So, someone in the room suggested $5,000. Not only did he agree to this ridiculously low number, but never even offered more when it was suggested. He just accepted it and moved on because he’s so cheap. Just for some perspective, I know that mahr can start anywhere from $10K-$15 and be as high as $50-$100K depending on how well off the guy is. This guy is a freaking doctor which means he makes that in like a week or so... Even as a resident or a fellow, that’s pocket change.

anyway. Her father got her a freaking brand-new Audi as a wedding gift, and her new husband gave her the promise of $5,000 after they get married... LOL.

so, when he was “bragging” about paying off her dowry when they ended things, I really thought it was a huge sum of money. it wasn't.

How he deals with his finances is really none of my business. I only mentioned it here because he would constantly mention it and emphasize that he didn’t want anyone (including his future wife) to take advantage of him. I could care less about how much money he makes because even though I never told him this (mostly because he never shuts up and I never got the chance to tell him about it), I am independently wealthy from a business that I opened up a few years ago. I am completely financially independent from my parents.

Although I never cared about his finances at ALL, it’s important to know that in Islam, a husband MUST spend on his wife. He MUST treat her well. and he MUST care for her and her finances. It’s his duty. Whatever money she makes, belongs to her. And whatever she wants to spend or save, is up to her. She can work full-time and save every penny that she has if she wants, WHILE HE SPENDS ON HER. She doesn't have to give him a cent of the money she makes (unless she wants to). AND even if she is working and she makes her own money HE STILL has to spend on her, and on the things that she needs while she saves her money or spends her money in the way that she wants. In Islam the husband MUST SPEND ON HIS WIFE. AND SHE CAN CHOOSE TO WORK AND SAVE HER MONEY IF SHE WANTS. AND IF SHE DOESN’T WANT TO WORK, SHE HAS THAT OPTION, AND HE STILL HAS TO SPEND ON HER. WHETHER SHE WORKS OR NOT, HE HAS TO SPEND ON HER. anyway. that’s why I mentioned it. I don’t care about it, I just listed it just in case anyone that’s reading this does care about it so that they know what they're getting into. Go back and read the symptoms of narcissism that I included above. It literally mentions that people with this disorder have issues with their money. This has absolutely nothing to do with Islam, and everything to do with him and his condition. He just uses Islam to back up his twisted viewpoints by misquoting things and taking them out of context.

And Islamically, just so you know, God does not like those who are cheap with their wealth. He loves those that are generous with the money that He blessed them with. And He loves those that spend on their families. Those that have wealth and are able to afford more, are expected to spend more on mahr when they get married. THAT’S what the Quran says in surah baqara at the end of the second juz when the topic of marriage, engagement, and divorced are mentioned. So even if he was using Islam as an excuse to protect his money from his wife, he’s literally wrong and it doesn’t say that anywhere. In fact, in a hadith, it is mentioned that if someone’s husband is not spending enough on her and her kids to take care of them, she is allowed to take whatever money she needs from him without his knowledge or his permission.

His past relationship tells you everything you really need to know about him. For example, everything that he complained about his ex, were things that he does. He uses the exact character flaws in him that ended his marriage as being the character flaws that his ex had. For example, he is clearly a narcissist. You can pick up on this up within just a few conversations with him. Yet, he claimed that his wife was a narcissist, and she has all of the negative characteristics of one.

He claimed that she was controlling in the relationship, yet he has extreme controlling behavior. If I didn’t talk to him or give him attention for an entire day because I was at work, he would lose his shit. He would be passive aggressive then progressively more and more aggressive until I asked him what was wrong. Then he would lash out at me as if we’ve been in a relationship for years and I did something majorly wrong, even though I didn’t. Every free moment that I had was apparently to be dedicated only to him. If I wanted to go out and I mentioned that I was leaving my house, he would start a fight just so that I could stay home and “fix” things with him. Let me remind you that I only spoke to him for a few days..... we were not a couple at any capacity, so he had no right to do this. It was extremely manipulative behavior. I was constantly gaslighted by him. I would find myself apologizing to him very frequently, and most of the time I didn’t even know why. Everything that I said to him was offensive, even though it really wasn't. For example, I mentioned the word “FOB” once to describe someone, and he was so offended by it, even though it wasn't directed at him and I didn’t say it in a derogatory manner.

Back to his ex. He claimed that she never prayed and that this was the main cause of him wanting to end things... but the entire time that I was with him, he never mentioned how frequently he prays, even when I asked him about it directly. He claimed to be super religious, but I never saw that in his worship at all (but also, only God knows that so I can’t judge him for that.. I’m just saying what I noticed). He didn’t really make time for extra ibada. Which would be totally fine if he didn’t try so hard to sell himself as being “good and religious.” The entire time we spoke he kept saying how he was religious and how he wanted a religious wife. I also never saw that in his character. I never saw that with how he spoke to and about others. He looked down on everyone that wasn't from the same background as him or had the same education as himself. He was very disrespectful of others. I found that it mostly stems from his ignorance and intolerance of other cultures.

He said some really disturbing things about immigrants coming here and mooching off of the system. That they are basically living off of the taxes that he pays. Even though he is an immigrant himself, he didn’t believe that they deserve the same opportunities and chances that he got. He firmly believed that everything he has now was earned by him, and that he worked hard for it. It never crossed his mind that he was given a chance by people who stood up and fought for those rights and opportunities for immigrants. He always saw himself as someone who was “self-made.” He was extremely oblivious to the fact that he wouldn’t have gotten as far as he did, had it not been for those same opportunities that he didn’t think the other immigrants deserve. He was very arrogant.

His social interactions:

I heard from someone this crazy story about a girl he was getting to know:

He suggested that she and he go out to some restaurant to eat. After they finished dinner, he INSISTED that they get dessert. She said she was full, and she wasn’t interested in getting anything, but he kept insisting over and over until she finally said yes. She chose a brownie or something that she liked. And he didn't freaking order anything. He suggested that they share because she needs to be watching what she eats. Apparently what she chose was too many calories for her or something.

SHE DIDNT EVEN WANT DESSERT IN THE FIRST PLACE. AND WHEN SHE GOT IT YOU TOLD HER IT WAS TOO MANY CALORIES FOR HER!? It boggles my mind how hypocritical he is. Everything he says and does is carefully planned so that he can tear down someone’s self-esteem and self-worth just to make himself seem better. I interpreted this story as him being too cheap to get two desserts. He obviously wanted something, and he wanted to overcompensate for his cheapness by insisting that she gets something so she thinks that he’s doing this out of generosity. This way, he only has to pay for one dessert because he can suggest later that they share it. Also, the fact that she ordered what she wanted makes it seem like she's in control of the situation, but then he gaslights her. In order to get her half of the dessert, he can’t just ask to share. Instead, he uses it as an opportunity to take a jab at her self-esteem so that she questions herself. It’s actually kind of complex for someone as stupid as him. He’s crazy manipulative and controlling like that. It’s the only way he knows how to interact with people, really.

When I asked him about people in his community and the friends he has there, he was EXTREMELY defensive. This was honestly the biggest red flag for me. I asked because if we were to get married, I have to move to where he is, because he refused to move to where I am. I wanted to make sure that there is some sort of community around us that we can interact with. I wanted to know if I could build new friendships and relationships with people there. AND I wanted to know how likable he is, because from everything I saw in the few days that we spoke, he was very intolerable. I wanted to know if it was because he was always like that or if something was going on with him. I think it is a pretty fair way to gauge someone’s general demeanor. Everyone I know has AT LEAST one friend. People that don’t have friends usually don’t for a reason. Either they keep their distance from others, or others have a reason to keep their distance from them. In most cases, it’s a red flag about that person. But in some circumstances, it’s really not that person’s fault and there is nothing specifically wrong with them. So, I had to make sure for myself.

If a guy has no friends, he will automatically expect you to spend all of your time with him. He won't understand or accept you casually going out with the girls or having them come over. Also, in general, guys don’t have as much drama as girls. Even if a guy is a complete scumbag, other guys will find something about him that they like, and they will generally get along. That’s just how guys are. They're all chill with each other, even if they don’t know each other well, or at all.

So, when I asked him this question and he got extremely defensive, I knew something was wrong. He claimed that the guys by him didn’t invite him anywhere because he isn't married. Everyone in his community is apparently married, and according to him, he was outcasted because of his relationship status. ...which doesn't make any sense. I’ve never heard of this being an issue for anyone, guy or girl. At least in my community, single guys and girls all get invited to married-people events. I know this, because I get invited to those events.

Basically, he has no friends. He doesn't even keep in touch with his old roommates or classmates. He doesn't really talk to his sisters either. That’s why this question was so triggering and offensive. Even though it’s not an offensive question at all. “tell me about the community there and your friends.” Literally nothing wrong with it...

He’s a loser. I hate to say this, but he really is.

The only person that he talks to every day is his mom. And to be honest, she's not the best role model for him. That leads me to my next major point.

His mom

She basically made up a very elaborate fabricated story about her and her son and how she hasn't been able to find him a wife for some fake reason. It was a complete sob story told to a rishta auntie so that she can hook him up with some girls. Every part of that story was fake and was told in a specific way to shift blame from the trash that is her son and to also to instill empathy for them. If she got your number, most likely this is how she did it.

The apple really doesn't fall far from the tree. She’s just as much as a liar as her son, if not more. I wouldn't be surprised if she taught him all of the manipulative things that he says and does as well as all the lies that he spews.

That’s not even why I mentioned her. The main issue you need to be concerned about is the fact that he’s in his freaking late thirties and she still has complete control over him. Their relationship is not healthy at all. Because she is the only person that he talks to, he tells her everything. And I really do mean everything, without any exaggeration.

Absolutely nothing off limits for what he shares with her, including private conversations with you. He will share EVERYTHING with his mom, no matter how personal it is and no matter how much you ask him to keep it to himself. and if it is something bad, he will use it against you later on and make you feel bad about it and judge you for it. everything that you have shared about yourself with him in private, he has already told his mom about. They have already discussed it, and they have already made the decision on whether or not they want to blow it out of proportion.

If what you shared about yourself or your life interferes, in anyway, with the plan that they have in mind for him... your issue will be exposed. For example, if you want to wait a year or two before having kids, this interferes with his plan to have kids immediately after marriage. HE WILL NOT TALK TO YOU ABOUT THIS DIRECTLY. Instead, he will act like he is 100% okay with it and seem completely supportive of your decision. If you ask if he has a problem with it, he will lie and say no. Then after you hang up, he will call his mom immediately afterward, then tell her everything that you told him. THEN she won't even call your mom to complain... she will first call the rishta auntie that gave them your moms number and ASK ABOUT YOU even if the lady doesn't know you. The thing that you shared with him in private, and he said he was okay with, has now reached two other people without your knowledge. After his mom talks to the rishta auntie and tells her about this “world-ending issue” that has come to light...that lady will tell her that she doesn't even know you well enough to give any advice (about something that’s not her freaking business). then she’ll tell his stupid mom to take it up with your mom. So, within 20 hours of talking to him about a private matter that you both seemingly clearly agreed on... your mom will get a phone call from his complaining about it and how that’s not what he wants.

This “guy” is so emasculated by his mother, that he can’t even stand up for himself. It’s so pathetic. She has to speak on his behalf.

Sometimes it is okay for parents to step in because they handle sensitive situations more delicately and in an eloquent way. But for him, EVERYTHING was a sensitive situation, and he didn’t know how to handle any of it on his own. the worst part is that his mom is a complete bitch. She was SO rude when she was speaking to my mom. She was unnecessarily aggressive in her speech and in her tone. Like if she was at least able to handle things like a normal person, it would've been acceptable. But she was literally this biggest bitch I've ever met. I’ve never had a guy’s mom talk to mine in such rude way. It’s no wonder why he acts like such a baby, why everything offends him, and why he expects everything to go his way all the time. They literally think that just because he’s a doctor, that he needs to be worshipped and that the world revolves around him.

This happened several times when I was getting to know him during those few days. I eventually learned that there are absolutely secrets between them. Everything you tell him will reach his mom, and she will share it with the third party that got you guys in touch. I’m honestly not surprised that he shared everything I told him with her. It actually makes perfect sense.

You must understand that they have a very weird relationship for a reason. You are not just going to marry him... you are also marrying his mom. That’s one of the reasons that she has to know you so well. One of his conditions is that you have to be okay with her living with you guys. He is adamant about this. He has a room for her in his place for when she comes to visit, but she's planning on moving in permanently. But yea, his mom has fully reinforced his toxic behavior and expectations. It’s perfectly okay to live with your spouse’s parents. But it’s not okay for them to learn everything about you, and for you to not have any privacy with your spouse. I blame his trash character on her and her Karen-ness.

On that note..

His trash character

If he hasn't shown this to you yet, because he is still on his “fake” persona that he puts up early in the relationship.. then heed my warning. Strap yourself in for the hell that you are about to experience (or have already experienced).

Expect him in the beginning to “love-bomb” you. meaning, he will overly praise and admire you all the time. He will put u on a pedestal and tell you that you are the best person in the world. that if he ends up with you he will be the luckiest guy ever. You are perfect in every way, and everything that you have done is a huge achievement (even if it’s something basic). He will list out all of the things that he loves and adores in you. this will come literally the second time you talk lol. He’ll act crazy obsessed with you.

BUT..... he is ONLY doing this because 1 of 2 things are about to happen. The first is that he is craving for you to admire him in a similar manner. He is literally teaching you how he wants you to praise him (all the time btw). He wants you to compliment him back. Everything that he said is straight up just him fishing for a compliment. Don’t give him one. You don’t need to. Just general advice: you don’t owe a guy anything for what he does. If you want to compliment him on something you genuinely like, go for it. But NEVER feel obligated to compliment a guy just because he complimented you. It’s okay to just say “thank you” and accept it.

The second, is actually really scary. This is a tactic that narcissists used when trying to trap someone. Remember the term I used earlier, love-bombing? Well, this is actually a tactic that narcissists use in their cycle of abuse. It’s not healthy to have such strong feelings towards someone you just met. But that’s how he’ll talk to you. If you want to learn more about what I’m talking about, read this article to get a better idea: https://www.healthline.com/health/love-bombing#soulmate-claims

Eventually he will start gaslighting you. Making you question yourself. making you feel like everything that you say and do is offensive to him. You will start apologizing to him for stupid things.

Out of all the lies that he told, he was ironically very honest about his uncontrollable anger. He gets angry, UNBELIEVABLY quickly and about EVERYTHING. If something goes wrong, it is the end of the world for him. He lashes out immediately, in a very rude and disrespectful way (...does this remind you of someone........? if you said his mom, good job!). Just like a bratty little kid lashes out disrespectfully at people around them when they don’t get their way... this guy is the same way. If he is “offended” by something... which is literally everything. Everything that freaking offends him.. he lashes out. If it is an issue that deals directly with his future with you, and his bratty behavior is not applicable, that’s when his mom is involved.

Yasser, if you are reading this, please grow the fuck up. you are in your late thirties, stop acting like a prepubescent dickless little boy who's balls haven't dropped. You are a grown ass man, act like it. Real men don’t have their moms listening in on every conversation, fighting their every battle, and being their only friend. Real men deal with their issues in a calm and respectful way, not by disrespecting the other person, projecting their issues onto them, and purposefully saying something mean to hurt them because they apparently hurt you. grow the fuck up.

You need therapy to deal with your mommy and daddy issues. You need therapy to deal with your textbook case of narcissism. you need therapy so that you can stop being such a shitty person so that maybe one day, someone other than your mom will love you.

I’m glad I met you, because you were the absolute worst person I’ve ever met in my entire life. Now I know exactly what to avoid with future guys that I meet, and I also have the comfort of knowing that no one will ever be as horrible as you.

If you don’t plan on bettering yourself after seeing this, I hope that if you do get married that you end up with someone who deserves you because they are just as shitty as you. I hope they take advantage of you and the money you keep hoarding. I hope they lie to you about everything in their life and in their past, and you don’t find out until it’s too late and you can’t leave or end things. I hope that they use your vulnerabilities against you. I hope that they disrespect you and belittle you. I hope that they are able to control you in every aspect of your life. I hope they are able to deal with your psychotic mother in a way that hurts you. I hope you are emasculated in your own marriage, and that your wife wears the pants in the relationship. I hope she makes decisions without you, and I hope it drives you crazy.

I hope your ex-wife got remarried to someone who actually deserves her and appreciates her. I hope their relationship is happy. I hope that her happiness with her new husband makes you completely miserable because you lied about how horrible she was and you abused her.

You lied about and exaggerated the things that I said to you in private and exposed me. I hope that you are exposed to everyone, just like you exposed me and my secrets. You may have told lies and exaggerations about me, but I’m telling the truth about you. Everything you said about me is nothing to be ashamed of. But everything about you is disgusting and shameful. You’re lucky that I didn’t go into more detail about how horrible you are, and the outrageous things that you said and did. This was in no way revenge. I could care less about you or getting back at you. I wrote this because I hope that every girl that meets you finds this post and heeds my warning about you and they are protected from you, your mom, and both of your evil. It’s a shame, that you have so much potential to be a good person, but you choose to be this way. I feel bad for you.

If you are a girl that met this fool and you want to share your experience, feel free to make an account if you don’t already have one and share with us. I genuinely hope that this post helps someone. I would love to know that it has. Leave me a message if this helped you in any way, even if it does not relate to him directly. Please don’t send him any hate on my behalf, that’s not the intention of this at all. I would prefer if he doesn’t see this, so don’t send this to him if you know him. If he does find it on his own, that’s on him.

If you are someone who is in a relationship with a guy or a girl you suspect has narcissistic personality disorder, please leave that relationship asap. It is not healthy for you. They will traumatize you and leave a lasting impact on what you’ll expect your future relationships to look like. You deserve better. Even if you don’t think that you do, YOU DESERVE BETTER. Leave. It’s better to be single than to be with this type of person.

[trifoliate-undergrowth]

Episode 6: End of an Era

Strap yourselves in guys, this one’s a long one, but a good one. 

In this session, we were joined by two friends who happen to be married to each other, L and A. L provided snarky comments on the session hijinks and A played sound effects and brought the DM’s speakers over when he wanted to play something specific. 

The DM explains how, after an 8-hour speeder ride across the planet, we’re put down in a field and the speeder disappears. We’re in the middle of open farmland, nothing but rolling green fields dotted with small rounded bumps. These look like old abandoned grain silos, but Grif and Rralwarr know that inside one of these silos is a turbolift down to the safehouse. 

Rralwarr: I wanna do something. Before we go in there, I want to check Taveau for anything Death Watch could be using to track us. 

DM: And you’re... going to do this how? 

Me: Are you going to warn Taveau before you do whatever you’re planning to do to him? 

Rralwarr: Yeah--like “hey Taveau I need to check you for trackers before we head in.” 

Taveau: h

DM: Yeah that was technical language, you only barely understand what he’s saying. 

Taveau: I got like... half of that. Grif? 

Grif: 

Grif: Hmm what? Oh I was trying to remember which of these silos leads to f̸͎̽l̸̤̾u̵͙͆f̸̗͆f̸̣̀y̵̰̎p̶̦͂ḽ̷͊à̶̳c̶͕̄ê̷ͅ... 

Everyone: 

Grif: Yeah he wants to know if there’s any way Death Watch could be tracking you. 

Taveau: *instant paranoia* I?? Don’t?? Think so??? Uh, this armor never belonged to them, I don’t... 

Rralwarr asks if there could be something in the helmet. Taveau explains that it’s a remarkably low-tech helmet, only useful for deflecting plasma bolts from your face and holding caf, but lets Rralwarr examine it. It is, indeed, a very plain helmet with no attachments. Rralwarr is satisfied. We head down. 

Rralwarr and Taveau both have a bad feeling. It seems too easy. I’m kind of expecting Death Watch to already be down there, holding Grif’s family hostage. When the new Roll20 background loads up, showing a bunker, I nearly have a heart attack when I see several character tokens facing the entrance where we’ve just appeared. This changes to relief as I see that they’re Wookiees. 

DM: as the doors open, you see two Wookiees in the room before you. They roar an enthusiastic greeting, and one rushes forward and hugs Rralwarr. From behind them, you hear someone speaking basic. “Excuse me--Medrull, Talwarra?” and poking in between them comes a man who looks a lot like Grif, but older and greyer, in very luxurious robes. 

Baron Welkonna: Son. I’m so glad to see you safe. Rralwarr, thank you for keeping him safe. 

Then there’s sort of a moment of awkward semi-silence as everyone looks suspiciously at Taveau. Everyone except Medrull, of course, who immediately starts talking to Grif about how much taller he’s gotten, and asking whether he’s been eating well. Baron Welkonna pulls Rralwarr aside, but the other two Wookiees stay where they are, politely but firmly barring Grif and Taveau (mostly Taveau) from entering the room. 

Baron Welkonna: I was not anticipating a third person, Grif made no mention... is everything alright? Who is he? 

Rralwarr: Yes, it’s alright. Regarding Taveau--Taveau is his name--he’s helped us on our journey and as far I understand it he is running away from the ah

H: 

Dm: 

H: I Should Probably Think Before I Speak

DM: Yes. 

H: OK I’m starting over. 

DM: You can do that. 

Rralwarr: Taveau is our pilot, he is the one who got us to our destination, and... he is running away from slavers, as I understand it. He hasn’t told us much and I think there’s more to it, but he has helped us, and has fought alongside us in battle. 

Baron Welkonna: Ah, the poor man. You trust him? 

Rralwarr: Enough. 

Welkonna: Does Grif trust him? 

Rralwarr: Yes, I think so. 

Welkonna: Medrull, Talwarra, everything is clear. 

We’re allowed into the room and Baron Welkonna comes over to Taveau. 

Welkonna: I apologize for seeming a bit rude at first. These are trying times, but I have been assured that you are trustworthy. 

And he holds out his hand for a handshake. 

Now let me explain. Taveau feels like he’s entered another dimension, here. Not only is this man ridiculously wealthy (and Taveau is still semi-convinced he’s some kind of royalty), but he’s nice. Taveau isn’t sure how to react to either of those things but especially not the second one. 

Taveau: 

Taveau, struggling to remember how normal human beings behave when they’re not fighting for their survival and having near-death experiences every two seconds: 

Taveau: Thank You Sir *shakes hand, casually has an out-of-body experience* 

Baron Welkonna: I understand you’re been a great help to my son. 

Taveau: h 

Grif: Ohmygoodness he has been amazing!! He’s such a great pilot and he got us off of Ryloth when we were trapped there and I don’t even know what would have happened if we hadn’t met him, we probably would have died! 

Taveau, having another out-of-body experience: I... would have died too, so... thanks for letting me tag along? 

Baron Welkonna walks Grif and Taveau around the complex, showing Taveau the facilities, while Rralwarr hangs out with the other Wookiee bodyguards and chats about his adventures. The furnishings are simple but comfortable. There’s the living area where we came down, which has a couch; other rooms branch off of this in two directions. The one straight ahead from the entrance is a sleeping area with bunk beds, which we’ll get back to later. The other door, on the left (with your back to the entrance), leads into a dining area with doors leading to storage area, master bedroom and bathroom (with real water showers rather than sonic ones!! Taveau takes note. Taveau is still finding Geonosian sand in his hair, months later, and he doesn’t like it.) And in the bathroom there’s a hidden panel that opens to a hidden saferoom with a gun rack. This room provides access to the area which has the power generator and an escape hatch leading up to a small hangar. 

From here we circle back around to the smaller bedroom. 

Welkonna: Grif, I’m sure you remember this, you used to love playing on these beds. 

Grif: Oh yeah! During the safety drills.... I remember those. 

Welkonna: Do you remember the time you hid under the covers and we couldn’t find you? Midkrarr was ready to tear her fur out with worry... you scared your mother, too. She was so happy when we finally found you. 

Grif: ...I remember. 

Welkonna: Anyway, 

He opens another hidden-panel-door into a vault holding an impressive amount of weaponry. 

Grif: Wow dad, I don’t remember all of this! 

Welkonna: Ah yes, I’ve made some additions to the place since you were last here. Actually: here, might want to take this. 

He takes down a suit of concealed body armor that will go under Grif’s clothes. 

Grif:  Wow, this, this is—I don’t even know where you’d get something like this! Thanks, dad!! 

DM: Taveau, Baron Welkonna notices you hanging back at the door, not sure if you should enter. He says “Ah, you look fairly well-armored already, but I have an attachment that might be helpful.” 

*L and A play the Zelda item gain noise from the couch. Party takes a moment to laugh at this* 

Welkonna gives Taveau a wrist attachment with a concealed vibroblade. Taveau is beyond pleased and puts it on his left wrist and starts playing with it. 

H: Please don’t tell me he’s just standing there flicking it in and out

Me: Heheheheh that is exactly what he’s doing. He looks very pleased with it. Finally he retracts it and looks up at Baron Welkonna and says “Thank you, sir.” 

M: Hey can I roll to see if Grif notices any guns he could use that would be better than what he’s got? 

DM: Sure. (he do that) You see a very nice blaster pistol, looks like republic army issue. 

Grif: Heyoo, dad, where’d you get that one? 

Welkonna: Oh, that was a gift from an army supplier I helped with some tricky negotiations. I have no real use for it, would you like it? I certainly can’t object to you having more protection, though I wish it weren’t necessary. 

Grif does indeed take the gun. It is a nice gun. 

DM: meanwhile, Rralwarr has been shooting the breeze with the other Wookiee bodyguards, and has have endured some good-natured teasing from Midkrarr, the oldest, who is Baron Welkonna’s personal bodyguard. Medrull and Talwarra are also glad to have you back. They’re excited about the new gear they have—shock sticks. Would you like one? 

H: You know this is incredibly obviously that room full of gear that you find right before The Boss Room 

DM: I am being nice to you :) 

H: Yes I take the shock stick. 

DM: Excellent. You can sling it on your back.

Rralwarr discusses where the rest of Grif’s family is with the bodyguards--his sister is with her husband’s family, the brother who went into industry was off-world at the time and they’re having trouble contacting him, but they think he’s OK because he was about halfway across the galaxy. We also learn that Grif was the middle child, his brother was older and his sister younger (though one would presume not much younger). 

DM: Medrull pulls Rralwarr aside and softly grunts to him that Midkrarr was the personal bodyguard to Lady Welkonna as well and is taking her loss very personally. She’s been extra vigilant. She considers it a failure on her part.

RR: I understand. But we’ll be safe here—

-PROXIMITY ALARM BLARES-

Everyone: Of Course It Does

DM, to Rralwarr: Midkrarr rushes past you, nearly knocking you over in the process, barking at the other bodyguards to take up defensive positions. 

Rralwarr quickly gives the other bodyguards an idea of what they might be up against, then goes looking for his boy 

(Rralwarr:)

Rralwarr: GRIF WHERE YOU AT

Grif, reacting to the alarm: Oh! That sounds bad! 

Rralwarr: Ah he’s in here. 

DM: You encounter them rushing out of the vault room. Baron Welkonna races into the dining room area, where there’s a display screen on the wall, and you all follow him. About 5 miles out you see a small freighter, flying low to the ground and slowly. You think you may have about 5 minutes, they have to go over a lot of hills and it’s slowing them down. 

Welkonna:  I was afraid of this. It seems we’ve been followed. I expect it was someone in the police force who told them where we were. (sigh) alright. It’ll take them a while to get through... We’re far enough down to be safe from anything but orbital bombardment, I don’t think they brought a capital ship. I think we need to retreat to the safe room. 

Taveau: Then you’ll just be trapped in there! 

Welkonna: I’ve reported it to the police, a force should be here in about an hour. Surely we’ll last for that long. 

DM: ...The ship... is still approaching... what are you gonna do... 

[Party discusses various options. Leaving through the escape hatch won’t work, they only have a small speeder there, they’d be easily chased down and shot.]

DM: Guys... the ship... is getting really close... what are you gonna do... 

[Welkonna heads into the saferoom, still arguing with Grif]

DM: Guys the ship is ALMOST HERE. IT WILL BE HERE IN LIKE. TEN SECONDS. 

Taveau: the bodyguards are going to be at the door, right? I’ll stay with them as long as possible. 

Rralwarr agrees. 

Grif looks at his friends, then his father. 

Grif: Dad, I think I gotta go with em. I can’t leave em alone--

Taveau: No, you don’t gotta. Go in the safe room. 

Welkonna: Son, please, I can’t lose you too. Stay with me. 

At around this point, the other two head to the front, and Taveau, Rralwarr, Midkrarr, Medrull and Talwarra all take cover in places around the living room right outside the turbolift area. They also recall the turbolift so that the invaders can’t use it, but let’s be honest, did anyone really think that would stop these guys? No. But we could say that we tried, at least.

DM, to Grif: At this point, you’re at the hidden door. Baron Welkonna is already inside, Grif is still outside in the bathroom. Baron Welkonna is coming back like he’s going to grab you and pull you inside, Grif; and you notice this at the same time that you notice that you’re standing right next to the emergency seal on the door. 

M: ooh. ... Hm. 

Grif: Alright dad, I’m going. 

And he steps out and presses the release. 

Welkonna, muffled, through the door, which is now sealed for the next thirty minutes: Aaah fierfek! 

Grif: I’ll try to stay safe dad! 

Grif goes and hides around the corner of the other bathroom, the one at the back of the first room, where the others are waiting. Nobody notices that he’s joined the party yet. 

The last we saw of the display showed the ship on the ground and six figures walking towards us. The Wookiees begin to roar--the DM describes it as a rhythmic sound that slowly builds in intensity as they psyche themselves up for battle. It works so well that it gives us all a +5 bonus to attack rolls on the first 3 turns. 

Above us somewhere, there’s a very loud explosion. It sounds like the freighter may have blasted the door open. Then there’s silence, maybe a few footsteps... then suddenly: 

Kote! Kandosii sa ka'rota, Vode An

DM: You hear, of all things, Vode An, but it seems to have changed, because this version is interspersed with bloodcurdling whoops and screams and lyrics that mention restoring the glory of the Mandalorian empire, taking the wives of the Aruetiise, and drinking blood from their skulls. Taveau, this gives you very unpleasant flashbacks. 

Me: Yes It Does

DM: Roll a 1d4. (2) It’s difficult, but you manage to steel yourself and keep composed. That was a PTSD roll, by the way. 

Me: Excellent (I appreciate the devotion to accurate characterization, and also the material for possibly later writing something. I’ll also throw in here that Vode An had come up a couple times in earlier sessions, as the DM and M discussed how great it was and played it for the rest of us. It’s from the game Republic Commando, which I bought during the Steam winter sale but haven’t tried playing yet. Considering how bad the book punched me in the feels, I’m almost afraid...) 

We hear the sound of jets firing in the elevator shaft, followed by 6 thuds. They’ve jetpacked down. Then, we hear one of them shouting at us through the door: “Aruetiise! We are not without mercy. We offer you peace! Return the foreigner, his pet, and our property to us and we will leave you alone. Otherwise, you must die.” 

DM: the Wookies respond immediately, cursing the parentage of the speaker. Taveau, with your shaky grasp of Shyriiwook, you think you hear one of them call the speaker a Hutt sex slave. You’re not sure you want to think about this too much, and question your decision to learn Shyriiwook. 

(Me, internally: are you telling me Taveau hasn’t heard worse in Mando’a) 

Speaker: You have ten seconds to respond! 

At this, Grif pops his head around the corner of the bathroom wall, and yells:  GO TO HELL YOU SONSUVBITCHES! 

At which Taveau whips around and goes GRIF WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE! 

The answer is, Grif is using his Presence skill to give us an advantage. 

Ten seconds pass, and the Speaker calls “Ha! Foolish aruetiise, soon you will taste the blades of Death Watch!” 

Just in case there was any doubt left as to who we’re dealing with, yep, it’s definitely those guys. 

Taveau noted that Death Watch had mentioned three people specifically this time. They’re not just after him. He gives up the idea he’d had of turning himself in and taking whatever punishment they had planned for him. It wouldn’t be enough, would it? He’d been stupid to think there was a chance. But honestly, who would want to kill Grif? He was... Grif. Rralwarr was more likely to be seen as a threat, but he hadn’t personally gone out of his way to anger Death Watch, he’d just been in the wrong place at the wrong time. And he hadn’t been the one to kill the guy. 

Taveau, who was pressed against the wall to the side of the door, leans over to the door and shouts “what do you want with these outsiders?” 

There’s a bit of a, possibly surprised, pause, then the Speaker responds “We want to get to the one who shot one of our own.” 

Taveau: The kid? No he’s useless believe me. He was in another room. I don’t think he even had a gun. And the Wookiee was just trying to protect him, I guarantee he wouldn’t have shot if he’d known who he was dealing with. 

DM: There’s no response. 

Of course there isn’t. 

We hear explosives being packed around the door and we all duck and cover. The door blasts forward into the room, and in the smoke-wreathed gap appears the first of our enemies, a tall man with a rather large blaster carbine slung across his chest. He’s not using this. He is, in fact, brandishing a large beskar-bladed sword. This is the Blademaster. And so it begins. 

(I’ll spare you the frantic rolling and the “oh, he missed... he circles around to try again... that guy... also missed,” and try to make it a bit story-like). 

Another Death Watch grunt runs out behind the Blademaster, and the two team up against Medrull, who’s on the other side of the door from Taveau, whom they don’t seem to have noticed. He’s standing very, very still. 

In the chaos, Grif pops out again and takes a shot at the Blademaster. He hits, though the hit doesn’t do very much damage. This man is a tank. 

H, to M: HEY! THAT IS THE FIRST TIME YA HIT SOMETHING! 

DM: Yeah, and he definitely sees you now. ...But not you, Taveau. 

Me: Can I make a sneak attack with my two vibroblades? 

DM: Yes... (not-a-very-great roll) Ah, well, you try to sneak up on him while his back is turned, but you bang your elbow against the filtration column, and he hears it and dodges your attacks. 

Talwarra nearly kills one of the troopers, but he’s still up and fighting, on a sliver of health. 

All 6 of the Death Watch are in the room now, including a Scout with a very nice & stabby knife and four grunts, fairly ordinary troopers whom the DM refers to by number in the combat initiative list. 

Trooper 3 shoots at Taveau. He hits Taveau. He hits Taveau for a lot of damage. All of it, in fact. He nat 20′d both of his attack rolls. Taveau is insta-downed (not killed) and falls to the floor, limp. 

(the drama of the moment is somewhat lessened by L shouting from the couch “and then one of the troopers starts crying and goes I didn’t want to go to war, I had a liberal arts degree and no one else would hire me!”) 

Rralwarr roars, intimidating the troopers, who all try to stay as far away from him as possible for the rest of the fight. 

The DM mentions, at this point, that these armored bastards have Wookiee pelts braided around their armor. This does not endear them to our allies. 

Grif takes a shot at the nearly-dead guy previously shot by Talwarra and manages to finish him. He’s a bit surprised, and a bit concerned to see what their response will be. 

The DM gets back to Taveau. “Roll a 1d3.” Ah yes, we are now in the world of death saving throws. 

And I’ve just rolled a 1. 

DM: OOOOOH.... 

Me: I HAVE INSPIRATION

DM: Oh good, reroll that. (a 3) Oh! Okay. Good. That was good. You’re stable now. 

Me: But I can’t move? 

DM: No, you’re still unconscious. 

Talwarra, meanwhile, grapples with one of the troopers and manages to restrain him, Medrull is still boxed in by several of them while Rralwarr takes shots at them from around the couch, and while all this is happening, one of the troopers who isn’t currently busy with the others goes over to Taveau’s limp body, grabs him, and starts dragging him away. He disappears through the door and into the turbolift shaft before anyone does anything. 

DM: Medrull... Medrull is going to attempt something a little spicy. (rolls a 24) Ah, yes. She moves in, grabs the guy who was previously holding Taveau, pins his arms, puts him in a chokehold, spins around and uses him as a meatshield. Taveau just sort of slumps to the ground in the turbolift shaft. 

And that was where I remained for the rest of the fight. But the man who tried to abduct me went on to have a very bad time. 

Grif shoots the man fighting Talwarra, but he manages to break out of Talwarra’s grip. The Scout joins him in ganging up on Talwarra. 

DM: Talwarra, enraged-- 

H: OOH IS HE IN WOOKIEE RAGE MODE?? 

DM: ...I am sure Talwarra is in a Wookiee rage, yes. Is this a thing? 

(TO THE RULEBOOK!) 

This is a thing. Wookiees have sort of a berserker mode, and considering they’re being attacked by maniacs wearing the pelts of their dead brethren, it’s pretty safe to assume that our friends are going to be doing that during this battle. Talwarra, buffed by his righteous anger, starts whaling on the nearest member of Death Watch. Meanwhile, another trooper tries to shoot at Medrull, and his shot glances off The Human Shield for 5 damage. To The Shield, not to Medrull. The Shield wriggles around in a desperate attempt to escape, but rolls low enough to bring a deadpan “Yeah, there is no escape” from the DM. 

The Blademaster also fails to land a hit on Medrull. 

M: You know, “The Blademaster” seems like an interesting name for this guy who’s never hit anything with his blade... 

DM: Medrull decides this trooper she’s holding has too many arms... (bad roll) but fails to pull any off. She’s still got him in a firm grip, though. 

It’s here that Grif yells to Rralwarr, “Get Taveau!” because I’m still lying just outside the room. Rralwarr is surprised to see Grif there, but ‘trusts his judgement.’ He doesn’t run for Taveau, though. There are kind of a lot of people duking it out between him and the door, including Medrull, who’s swinging around an entire flailing human. Instead, he takes a shot at the Blademaster, master of the blade which never lands. 

Grif, seeing that he and Talwarra, who’s closest to the back, are getting a lot of attention, yells “let’s fall back!” to Talwarra and ducks into the bathroom, which, might I mention, has no other exit. The trooper Grif had shot at a moment before rushes after him. And then he rolls a crit fail, crashes into the door, injures himself, slips on the slippery bathroom tile floor and falls on his face. He is now prone. Grif steps over him to get out of the room, and then shoots him while he’s still lying down. 

Talwarra grapples with the scout and The Human Shield, who is having a very bad day, continues soaking up damage from his own teammates. Then the Blademaster makes a surprise-dash attack on Rralwarr, which does 34 damage, leaving him nearly dead. Medrull, seeing this, goes into rage mode and decides to body-rush the Blademaster, using The Human Shield as a battering ram to smash him out of the way. She succeeds beautifully, inflicting damage upon both the Blademaster and The Shield, who is really not having a good day. 

The Blademaster, now nearly dead, moves away from us, and... before anyone can finish him off... pulls a syringe from his belt, jams it in his neck, and regains a large chunk of his HP. 

Me: I hate that guy. 

H: I hate that guy too. 

M: I don’t like sand. 

Rralwarr medpacs himself, gets his health back, and then goes into rage mode. Medrull, still holding the least lucky man on this team, uses him as a melee weapon to bludgeon one of his teammates. Rralwarr takes out his new shock stick and slaps the Blademaster with it. The Blademaster goes down. 

Grif takes another shot at the trooper who slipped facefirst into the Welkonna bathroom, who has managed to stand up again but not to do anything else. He rolls a 24 for this. 

H and I simultaneously: OOOOOH, 

Me: You are more competent than Taveau, who has been trained to kill from birth! 

DM: You manage to hit a battery pack on the side of his helmet. It explodes. Half of his face is now gone. 

One more down, but Talwarra goes down a moment later. Rralwarr slams into the guy who downed him, the Scout, with his shock stick and knocks him backwards into the hallway where Grif is standing, shouting “Take the shot!” to Grif. Grif takes the shot and crit fails it. He uses his inspiration to reroll, and still fails to hit anything, but at least he didn’t crit fail and hit Rralwarr. Unlike the other member of our party. (see ep. 1) 

Meanwhile, The Human Shield is still doing frantic and ultimately useless wiggles in Medrull’s arms, and Trooper 2 gets tired of trying to aim around him and just. Shoots his buddy. 

Me, OOC: That poor guy. Seems like the Taveau of this bunch. 

Medrull backs Trooper 2 up against the wall. He’s the last one standing, and Grif comes out and yells at him. 

Grif: Give it up, we have you outnumbered! Go back to your people and tell them we fight with honor! 

This last guy, panicked, yells “I submit!!” and drops his blaster. Medrull takes the opportunity to punch him. He’s now unconscious. 

The room is full of bodies. We’ve won. 

Rralwarr keeps beating on the limp Blademaster for a few moments before coming out of his blind rage enough to treat and stabilize Talwarra. Medrull goes and gets binder cuffs, restrains the two alive-but-unconscious men--Blademaster and the last trooper--and lashes them to two of the bunks in the next room. Then she sits down to take a rest. She’s on very low health. 

Grif: While this is happening I run to Taveau and drag him back into the room and lay him down. 

DM: You know you have a small medical facility here? *points it out on the map* 

Grif: Then never mind, I’m dragging him there. 

Rralwarr and Midkrarr follow with Talwarra. As we all pass the display, we see that another ship has entered their airspace. It’s not Alderaanian police. However, it doesn’t appear to be Death Watch backup, either, as it launches a missile into the other freighter, destroying it, before touching down in front of the bunker. 

After getting Talwarra and Taveau set up in the clinic, Grif rushes to the still-sealed panel to talk to his dad, while Rralwarr returns to guarding the door. 

Grif: Dad!! (he’s breathless, gasping a little, and he sounds high on adrenaline. He’s laughing a little, too. I’m reminded that M is an actor, and a damn good one.) We did it, we got 2 prisoners, the rest are dead and right now Rralwarr’s guarding the door! 

Welkonna: Thank the Force you’re OK. I should have kept you in here with me. 

Grif: DAD!! :D I KILLED TWO OF THEM!! 

Welkonna, who’s been watching the security cam feed: I know. I never wanted you to get into this kind of life, but it seems that choice is beyond me. Now come, let’s treat the Wookiees and your friend.

Baron Welkonna gets himself un-trapped and goes to tend to the wounded. 

DM: Grif, on the display, you see, approaching the door, a Mandalorian--

M, assuming it’s the black-armored mystery man we keep running into: SONUVA-- 

DM: --In sand-colored armor. 

M: ?? WHAT!

DM: And then he looks directly into the camera--which should be completely concealed--and says “Hello! Seems like you’ve done some impressive work here. Could I, maybe... talk to you? I have some information you might find rather valuable.” 

Grif heads back to the door to discuss their options with Rralwarr, who’s starting to crash. Rralwarr’s take is “Well if he shot the other guys, let’s see what he has to say.” He’s still incredibly wary. Grif convinces him to lower his bowcaster as they head up in the turbolift, but he keeps it ready. 

DM: The doors open, and you see the Mandalorian standing in front of you. He’s slightly below average height, wearing scuffed, kind of sand-gold armor. “...Colored kind of like my Camry, actually,” says the DM. “He’s wearing Camry-colored armor. You notice a familiar-looking silvery flute hanging from his belt.” 

M, remembering that the black-armored Mandalorian murdered someone with a sharpened flute in one of their earlier adventures: SONUVA--so it IS the same guy!! 

DM: This isn’t the same guy. He’s shorter. His voice is more easygoing, rather than the clipped, aristocratic tones of the black-armored Mandalorian. He’s standing with his palms out in a gesture of non-confrontationality.

H: Rralwarr stands by the door and lets Grif do the talking.

Camry-armored man: So you’re still alive, then. Kandosii! You must be special indeed, not everyone gets a death watch assassin squad sent after them. Those damn shabuire... Mm. My name’s Mij Galmar. 

DM: He takes off his helmet, there’s a slight hiss of decompression. You see the face of a man in his late 40s-early 50s, dirty blonde hair greying around the edges. He has a face that would have been handsome in his youth but has met with a few fists since then; he’s got a squashed, broken nose.

Rralwarr takes this as a decent sign of trust and lowers his guard.

Grif goes for a handshake. “Grif Welkonna! Nice to meet you, sir.”

Mij: Rather impressive what you did there, son. Or what I’m assuming you did. I don’t know what their current numbers are, but used to be a squad was 8 men. 

Grif and Rralwarr look at each other in sudden paranoia. 

They take Mij back down with them in the turbolift, and when the doors open Rralwarr leaves at a sprint, heading back towards the medbay. 

Mij: What’s his rush?

Grif: you said 8? 6 came after us.

Mij shrugs. “Maybe 2 stayed in the freighter. Or their numbers have gone down. Death Watch has only recently made a resurgence, they’re not up to full strength; 6 was probably all they had.” 

Grif: I hope you’re right. You’ll understand our concern, though. We’ve been having trouble with these guys.

Mij: Have you, now?

Grif, being Grif, decides to roll a Charisma, and nat 20s it.

Grif: Yeah, so, what do you know about these guys? I’d like to know what their deal is.

DM: Mij gives you an appraising look. “I guess you could call me a patriot, though Death Watch would say that they’re the patriots. They’re really nothing more than criminals. I like to think of the days when we had honor, but Death Watch remembers the times when our name struck fear at a mere mention. We thought they were dead at Galadran, but it seems they’re back, and they’ve used the civil war as an opportunity to make some powerful friends. 

Grif: That’s unfortunate. Sounds like a problem for you guys.

Mij: It’s a problem for those of us who know. We Mandos typically keep to ourselves.

Grif: I mean, I guess that makes sense if you’re gonna have the kind of problems you do. Besides, considering the kind of warriors you make, I’d expect that you want to keep your secrets close. 

Mij: Look at you, already thinking like a Mando. So how many of you were there? I’m guessing you and your friend didn’t fight off the Death Watch by yourselves.  

Grif: Yes, we had a couple bodyguards with us as well, and another friend.

Mij: I see. Have they fared well, did any of them die?

Grif: Well, I mean, we had a few problems, some of them are getting patched up for minor injuries. But everyone should be right as rain in a few minutes. (Deception roll: 32)

Mij: You know what, considering what I’ve seen today I believe you. But, if you ever need help, I am a doctor.

Party: OH, THANKS, GRIF!

M: I WAS JUST TRYING TO BE SAFE I DIDN’T WANT HIM TO THINK WE WERE COMPLETELY DEFENSELESS

Grif: ...I mean, we would take some medpacs, if you have some to spare. 

Mij: Oh? Everyone’s OK, but you want medpacs? 

Grif: Yes but we used up a lot of medpacs, and now we’re a bit low. I mean, they came through our “impenetrable” door; that makes me a bit nervous.

Mij: I respect that. 

Meanwhile, Rralwarr finds Baron Welkonna, who grabs him and asks why the display feed shows his son sitting on the couch with a strange Mandalorian. Rralwarr is really starting to struggle against the fatigue now, coming down from berserker mode is worse than an adrenaline crash. 

Rralwarr: There’s... a sandpaper armor Mandalorian, out there... He shot the freighter, he took off his helmet as a gesture of trust, now he’s on our couch. 

Baron Welkonna: Will my son never learn! 

H: Rralwarr is actually a little bit loopy. 

DM: Yeah, I’ll bet. Medrull is going to lie down and take a rest in the bunk room, keeping an eye on the prisoners. And Baron Welkonna is going to go see what Grif’s up to. 

H: Rralwarr goes with him. 

Grif, seeing them come in: Heyyy! Who brought in the army? 

Rralwarr slumps against the wall, exhausted. Mij takes a look at him, then at Grif, and goes “right as rain, huh? Don’t worry about it kid, I respect the effort.” He stands and extends his hand to Baron Welkonna with a slight bow. 

Welkonna: Thank you for the service you did us in taking down that freighter. But if you’ll forgive me a bit of paranoia, considering what we’ve just come through, it is a bit suspicious that you showed up just now. 

Mij: Understandable, and I’ll be honest. I’ve been hunting these guys, I take my targets where I can find them. 

Welkonna: Ah. So you’re a bounty hunter. 

Mij: Sometimes. I prefer to think of myself as a doctor, really. 

(Party: HE SAID IT AGAIN) 

Welkonna: I... see. (sigh) This, the whole series of events the past week has been surreal. First my wife and now the attack on what I thought was a safe house. 

Mij: Wait, your wife? 

He looks between Grif and Baron Welkonna, noting the similarity, and the way that everyone’s gotten rather quiet. He looks back at Grif. 

Mij: ...They killed his mom? 

H: Rralwarr is grumbling in the corner about it. 

Mij: Shab, these... They’re going after kids now. I can’t believe... How did you attract the ire of Death Watch? They’re brutal, but usually not random. 

Grif gives him the short version of our Hypori adventure, concluding with “We’re not sure why they’re this angry, but maybe when one of our friends wakes up he can talk to you.” 

(Me: Hey, good question, am I conscious now? 

DM: You’re semiconscious. You still can’t move.)

Mij: I see. Would you like me to treat him? 

(Me, OOC, wanting Taveau to LIVE: Grif? Grif. Swallow your pride, Grif. 

M: It’s not pride! I’m just not sure we can trust him--)

Rralwarr: Yes. 

Grif: ... Yes. Thank you. 

They glance in on the prisoners and Medrull first. Medrull has stripped the dead and prisoners of their Wookiee pelts, planning to give them a proper burial later. Mij looks at them and comments “Aah, that’s how you did it. They should’ve known better than to wear their blasted Wookiee pelts.” 

Then he checks on Taveau and Talwarra. Talwarra is still unconscious, but should live. 

DM: He feels for broken bones, checks your eyes for concussion, makes sure you don’t have any untreated injuries and injects a stimulus. You come back. 

Mij: Aah, welcome back to the land of the living. Just a word of advice: you may want to lay off the rum, brother. It’ll increase your life expectancy. 

Taveau: ?? Whhhh I just met you huuh how did dyou know ?? 

(M: He’s a doctor, I think he can tell when your blood is 50% rum. 

DM: Yeah, Mij has seen alcoholics before.) 

Rralwarr leans right down to the cot and gives Taveau a massive bear hug. Let me repeat. Whom does this massive furry tank teammate give a hug to? Yes, Taveau, who was near-lethally shot half an hour before, and is still covered in bandages. 

Taveau: AAAGH! Um, hey. 

Grif: Careful! 

Taveau, who appreciated the gesture (though startling and painful), manages to give Rralwarr’s arm-fur a squeeze before he releases him. Grif, opting to not damage him more, ruffles his hair. 

Grif: It’s OK. This guy is a friend. 

Mij: Mij Galmar. You feel awake enough to explain what’s going on? Your friends told me I should talk to you. 

Taveau: Uh... 

Grif: Actually, hey, guys, if you wouldn’t mind giving me and Taveau a moment alone? We have some stuff to talk over. 

And the adults politely leave, except for the unconscious Wookiee on the bed next to Taveau, and Rralwarr, who slumps down on the floor against the supply cabinets. 

Grif: OK, here’s the thing. I think we can trust Mij, I think he can help us.

Taveau: He’s... when did he get here? How long has it been?? 

Grif: Not long, you’ve only been unconscious maybe half an hour. Less, I’d say. 

Taveau: Huh. Ok. 

Grif:  Mij wants to know why Death Watch is interested in you. But if you don’t want to tell him, I understand--

Taveau: Nah. If telling him will help us, I’ll do it. 

Taveau sits up and swings his legs over the side of the bed in a sloppy attempt at standing up. Grif catches him and helps him get up without further injuring himself, and supports him as he walks to the door. 

Taveau: We won, though? 

Grif: Yeah! Oh, yeah, we won! *with immense pride* Actually, I killed two of them! 

Taveau: Yeah? Kandosii. 

Grif: Kk?? Kah, um, kendasi to you, too. 

DM: Hey, are you saying this out loud? 

Me, instantly on edge bc that’s a Things Are About to Happen DM Question: ??? yes?? 

DM: Can everyone hear you? 

Me: ...We’re right in the doorway at this point so yeah, everyone should be able to hear me. 

DM: ah :) 

Me: What? What Happens

DM: Mij hears you say this. He looks over at you quickly, then says, in Mando’a, “You speak Mando’a?” 

Taveau: lek

(DM: ??? 

Me: ....ye. * ’lek is a shortened form of elek which is yes so it’s like going ‘ye’ or ‘yeah’ but DM either couldn’t tell the difference between ‘lek’ and ‘I just muffled a burp’ or doesn’t know that*)

DM: Alright, Mij looks intensely at you for a moment, and sort of flares his nostrils as he takes a deep breath. 

Mij: Let me guess. You were just a kid, weren’t you? 

Taveau: 

Taveau, struggling against all odds (and against his earlier resolve) to not have his backstory brought up again even though it’s happening anyway, and doing an extremely bad job of feigning innocence: ....scuse me?

Mij: Death Watch could never get enough people to join their crazy scheme, so to fill up the ranks they’d take the children of loyal members. 

Taveau, still trying to pretend he’s not an open book: How do you know this? 

Mij: If you mean how do I know that’s what happened--you know the language, and you look like you’ve seen some stuff. As to how I know about it, I’ve seen it, I grew up there. It almost happened to me. But I got out. 

Taveau, with a faint touch of both bitterness and respect in his voice: Good on you. 

Mij: How’d you get out? 

Taveau: Faked my death, but obviously I didn’t do a very good job. 

Mij: They saw you with these others on Hypori. 

Taveau: Yeah. 

Mij: That explains it, then. Death Watch doesn’t want to let go once they have something, and they’ll go to a lot of effort to show that they still own you. 

Taveau, remembering how they treated (attempted) deserters in his day, just nods. They don’t want to let someone be a bad example. 

Mij switches back to Basic, addressing everyone in the room. 

Mij:  *sigh* Alright. I’ll give it to you straight. Death Watch is coming back. They have no real concern with Alderaan, or the Republic, or really anywhere outside of Mandalore for now; but they’re desperate to re-establish themselves somewhere. That fight on Hypori made them angry, but they don’t have the manpower to attack the Republic, so they’ve decided to pick on you. You’re an easier target. And once they’ve decided that someone is their enemy, they don’t forget easily. I think, if the three of you that they’re after leave this planet, they won’t bother the rest of your family, but they’re going to keep hunting you. Now, I’m no big fan of the Republic, but we’ll fare no better under the Seps, and especially not with Death Watch in power, so I’ve made it my mission to hunt them. 

Grif: Mij? 

DM: He looks up at you. 

Grif: Could you guys use a courier? 

Mij: I was hoping you’d say something like that. I’m putting together a small operation... 

(me: DOCTOR PUN) 

Mij: and I know... I know that Val would call me soft for this, and I’m probably sounding too much like Skirata, but I can’t stand it when they go after kids. I can’t promise you safety, I can’t promise you much protection, but I can promise you a way to fight back, and to learn to stand on your own feet and fight for yourself. You’ll have to leave this place, and you may never come back. It’s bas'lan shev'la, a strategic disappearance. But unless you want to go your own way, on the run from these guys for who knows how long... 

Baron Welkonna has a grave look on his face. There are tears glistening in his eyes. 

Welkonna: I never wanted this for you, son. I should never have let you leave, but this is the life you’ve started for yourself. I’ll protect you if I can, but I know that you resent having guards around you all the time. And you’ve shown that despite your impulsiveness you take care of yourself. You can stand on your own.

Gears have been turning in Taveau’s head while this is going on.  Mij doesn’t think Death Watch is interested in Grif’s family. Death Watch is only tangentially interested in Grif and Rralwarr, for their accidental association in a battle on Hypori. What Taveau is painfully aware of at the moment is that Death Watch wants him; terrifying enough if he were alone, but now his presence here is endangering this peaceful family. 

He steps forward before anyone else can speak. 

Taveau: For my part, I’ll go with you, at least as long as it takes to get out of this system. 

He turns back towards the Welkonnas and Rralwarr and hesitates. 

Taveau: I wasn’t here long, but... thank you... for accepting me into your home. 

Grif turns to Rralwarr to discuss his own options. 

Grif: right now, I want to go.It’s the best chance for keeping our family safe, and... I don't hate them anymore, but I will do what I can to fight them. If you go with me, then I’ll go, but only if you stay by my side.

H: ...I’m just trying to figure out how Rralwarr would react to this--is there some Wookiee gesture to express that Grif is family and anything else would be unthinkable? 

DM: I think a hug would suffice. 

Rralwarr sweeps Grif up into a hug of affirmation. Grif leaves the floor. Grif, upon being released, turns to Mij with a grin. 

Grif: alright, you’ve got me, and you’ve got my uncle Rralwarr here--

Rralwarr: I TOLD YOU NOT TO CALL ME THAT IN PUBLIC

Grif:--and one of the best pilots in the galaxy.

Taveau steps forward and slaps his hand down solidly on Grif’s shoulder. He’s the closest he’s come yet to outright grinning. 

Taveau: Grif.  ...Don’t lie so much.

Grif: ?? what? No? I was... actually telling the truth...? 

(H, laughing: Charisma check on Taveau to make him believe!!)

The conversation turns to what we’re going to do with the prisoners, and Mij offers to ‘take them off our hands’. Grif asks Mij what he’d do with them. 

“Oh, strip them, interrogate them, and depending on the day, maybe see if we can’t propel them into the nearest sun.” 

Grif tells how he convinced the last man standing to surrender (a not very typically Death Watch thing to do) and Mij just sort of does an ‘I’m not surprised’ grunt. “There’s always a few hut’uune in the ranks.” 

(Fun etymology time, the Mandalorians have such an intense dislike for the Hutts that their word for ‘coward’, aka The Worst serious insult, is derived from their name.) 

Midkrarr asks if the bodyguards may see to the prisoners themselves, or at least get some things straightened out before giving them to Mij. Mij responds without waiting for a translation. 

Mij: Far be it from me to stand in the way of Wookiee justice! Try to leave the heads attached, but I don’t really care about the arms, they just get in the way. 

Rralwarr, still very lethargic, is taken aback that Mij understands Shyriiwook, but after a moment just replies:

Rralwarr: OK. They had pelts. We have... a special procedure... for ones who take pelts. 

Mij: Would you like to borrow my scalpel? Nice bit of Mandalorian iron. 

Rralwarr passes, but Midkrarr snatches it up with a pleased look and goes off towards the bunk room. Mij calls after her 

“Leave them able to talk... please?” 

Finally, Mij takes out his comlink and makes a call to someone. 

“Jang, we’ve got some new friends. Yeah, just two kids. And a Wookiee. Yes I knew you were going to say that. Where is Kal anyway? Nah, they had it taken care of by the time I got down here, they’re not completely helpless. Six, this time. *sigh* Yes, you can have their gloves.” 

Masterpost 

[corasanheart]

Not a useless person

Fanfiction based on: Mob Psycho 100

Category: romic and angst

Pairing: Tome Kurata/Tokugawa

                                                                   Chapter 1

“Telepathy club is hereby disbanded”.

Her words echoed in her head again pushing more tears on her cheeks. Tome was passing winter break mostly like this, closed in her house in front of many books left casually open. After her parents went away for a travel in the suggestive sight of snowy mountains, (they do not take her because it was for her best she stayed to study) the house fell in a total silence broken only by her sighs. She was thinking at the time wasted on doing nothing with guys that didnt care about her at all. Tome founded her club with a deep desire, maybe crazy or creepy, but in which she truly wanted to believe. She was glad to share her passion with other people thinking maybe they are interested too. Fool! Who is so fool to believe in aliens? And telepathy too… They were only searching a club where laze around without any specific goal to think about and yeah.. the “telepathy club” seems the better to fit with this. Tome was the only one enjoying this club all this time. And so this is finished leaving her with an empty mind. Three years of any memories. Now at least she had to make up for study. There are so many things she didnt understand yet. Finding an alien maybe its easier…

Tokugawa approached the house and looked closely at the little sheet in his hand. “This is the address. I wonder whose..”. He glanced at the doorbell and read “Kurata”. That rang him a bell but he just couldnt remember where had heard it. He just pushed it and waited. Someone opened the door as fast as closed it. - What the.. what happened?-.      The girl, actually Tome, just shouted -Why are you here?!- “Maybe he knew I was continuing secretly the club” -I’ve already disbanded it if you wanted to know that!- with the voice little broken. Tokugawa remained silent for a moment elaborating -What club?- “She has to be the one from the Fake club” -Aah that club. I’m not here for that. Anyway it occured months ago.. why do you come up with that so suddenly?-. She opened a bit the door and mormored something. Then just said -Enter-.

Tokugawa sat properly on the sofa and released a deep sigh before of starting to explain. Tome just sat quite far from him unsure on what expecting. -I’m here for this-. He put a piece of paper on the little table in front of them. -You, I suppose, left this message on my school desk in which you beg me for help you to study and there is also your address-. Tome blinked her eyes several times before answer: -I didnt do that! And I would never ask for YOUR help-. -Ah..So do you have any idea of who could have done it? I dont know, someone who might thinks you need my help-. Tome startled. -I dont know..- “someone who cares about me?!” -It must be a stupid joke! So I think you can leave now-.                    Tokugawa was watching her carefully in silence.

-What? Are you listening??-.

He just said seriously: -I will help you-. -Whaaat?! I dont need it!-

“She’s got marks under her eyes. She was crying. Is so desperate for the exam?. I cant just ignore it”.  -I dont think so-.

-You are so stubborn, I told you I dont need any help!-

-Tome..-

-Indeed I just cant stand your presence in my house in this moment-

-Tome..-

-And I can manage to study on my own. Ive already all under control-

-Tome..-

-So dont get worried for nothing and..-

She stopped in fear after has noticed tokugawa creepy face.

-Just shut up Tome -

Tome gulped “Maybe I should call the police” but then just mormored an -Ook-. Then she guided Tokugawa to her room. He sweated a bit “Why she invited me to her room so suddenly?! It’s so naive. If I was another guy I would have taken advantage of the situation. Lucky her, im not interested..”. When he entered the room paralyzed. “What on earth..”. Tome’s room was fully painted with a Universe pattern and covered with strange psychedelic posters of unearthly things and some pieces of old newspapers about ufo apparitions. While on the floor there was a mess of colourful packages, some of them containing every sort of snack and others just being garbage. “This is way more shocking of Kamuro’s room”. Tome sat at the desk trying to put some order. Tokugawa came closer behind her.

-Sorry there’s only one chair. Did it bother you?- she said. “Yeah maybe this convinces him to leave”. “She is just too lazy to bring me a chair from the living room” -No Im ok like this. So in what subject do you have more problems?-.

“All of them but I dont want to seem stupid or like I need help” -Im ok with everything like I said, but math..-. -Mm let me see-. He took the math notebook from Tome’s hands. Tome froze. He took a quick look to all her notes and exercises to judge in which seems in more trouble. Then he return the book to Tome.. after using it to hit her head. -Is plenty of nonsensical sketches. Can you just pay attention to the lessons, cant you? Anyway firstly I’ll help you with basic and symple notions and then with exercises-. Tome foreshadowed a huge headache for this.

It seems like Tome wasnt in a desperate situation. She managed to solve several exercises (Tokugawa’s advices on some of them were of help too, she had to admit it). -Now come the difficult one-. Tome remained with a ‘what’ face. Tokugawa wrote down the equation. Tome, trying to regain confidence, started to fill the paper of scribbles that could fit but something stopped her. -No. You cant start like this-. A hand took the pen from Tome. Tokugawa’s chin leaned on Tome’s shoulder while he explained the resolution. Tome looked at his face expecting the usual angry gaze but instead he was too concentrate on what he was doing.   She hadnt never see him like this and not this close to her. He wasnt ugly but for somewhat reason he was extremely pale. That gave him a more vulnerable aspect. Tome blushed a little without caring what he was saying. He suddenly turned around and paused. The creepy face returned. -You’re not listening. Why are you staring?-

She gulped -No,no,no I heard everything. I swear it!-. Tokugawa sighed. “Maybe I shouldnt do much pressure on her. Is she really so desperate only for exams? Anyway she had cried for somewhat reason, it’s normal she is a little distracted”. Tokugawa stood up. -Tome I know you are worried, but you have to pay attention if you want..-.

He stopped and close his eyes. Then fell on Tome’s lap. Tome froze and after a second let out a scream: -Aaaah!What are you doing?!-. He fell on the floor without any reaction. “Oh.. He is not moving. Is he dead!? Is it my fault?? I havent done anything!”. She turned him panicking. “Oh. He is ok. He just passed out”. Tome was tempted to leave him there like this but in the end thought at least to carry him on her bed.

“Hgnn he is pretty heavy” she struggled until finally managed to lay him down. Then came nearer with the chair to look at him. She osserved the Vice president thinking of what could have weakened him to this state. He is the kind of strong and overwhelming guy and it’s just of discouragement to see him like this.

Tome kept to stare at him when noticed something wrong on his face. It was a lock of hair that escaped from his fixed hairstyle. It was so strange. She hasnt, anyone hasnt ever seen him with a single hair out of place. But seeing him like this made Tome feels a bit strange. “Im curious on how he would look like with messy hair”. She, without thinking to much on what she was doing, tryed to get closer to Tokugawa and to place her hand on his hair. But something immediately stopped her.

One hand of the Vice president held her wrist tighly. “Wha-a-t? Is he awaken? He still had his eyes closed though”. Tome felt embarassement on what she has tryed to do and just blushed and stayed still. Suddenly all the force in Tokugawa’s arm faded. It fell on the bed dragging also Tome’s arm that couldnt help but lose balance on the Vice president.

Tome didnt know how to behave instead of remain still and turning all red.

       (the end in the next chapter)

Notes:

it’s my first fanfiction ^-^ im happy ~~

chapter 2 will be posted next week

sorry for my bad english really; Ive checked it several times to not leave big mistakes but surely you still can find some others (a ton of others)

sorry my writing is strange *-* if there’s something incomprehensible you can ask

any comment is accepted

and ideas too

hope you to enjoy this ship

[datingadviceonreddit]

I [20/M] had been together with my ex for 10 months. I have broken up with her 2 months ago. She [23/F] was my first partner ever, I loved her more than anything. Since then, there are questions torturing me, I fear that it was my fault that the relationship went wrong. For some times, we had a wonderful time together, but often it suddenly changed to disaster. I would like you to take a glampse at the main problematic situations that I'm going to list, I would be delighted with your opinions on either my or my ex and on how it went wrong.She would always be very furious when I did something wrong. She would mock me, call me names and be very aggressive and cynical. I am a calm person, and quite rational, and I've never done such things to her. I would listen to her, and I tried to find a solution. After she cooled off (about 1-2hours-1day) we could somehow get a solution, but it was always giving up myself, because she wouldn't compromise. I always tried to talk things out, but she refused to do so at the end, because she thought that is was useless, as it "doesn't do anything".At the beginning of our relationship, she was mad at me, because she introduced me to 2 friends of hers when I escorted her home from a party I was not invited to, but it took me more time to introduce her to one of mine, because I'm not that social, and I wanted to introduce her when we meet some of my friends on the street for example, I didn't go to parties for a while. She couldn't understand this, that it's not on purpose, and I have no bad intentions. She was also very upset, that I was friendly with her friends, as if I'm "trying to get too close to them". For example, I added them on facebook, and she was mad for this. Eventually, we met with my friend, and I introduced her to them.She was mad at me that I didn't invite her to my dormitory. She was once up in my room, but she found it too messy and disguting, so later on, I didn't invite her to that place. But she got upset because of this, as I had a female friend (Mary) in the dorm, and we seldom spent time together there.Mary didn't like my gf, and my gf didn't like Mary. Mary didn't want to get to know her, and my gf said she didn't trust Mary, and she wants me to cut ties. I wanted to keep both of them (Mary and gf), so I wanted to give it time, and make them meet. Maybe because of this I seemed a little shady. But my gf feared, that Mary would interfere with the relationship, and she would do harm. I didn't even spend a lot of time with her, just at some classes, because I dedicated all my freetime to my gf. Nevertheless, I gave in, and I cut ties with her.She was upset about me being helpful and polite to other girls. For example, I held the door for them, or I picked something up for them if it fell down. She couldn't realise, that I help everyone, not just girls, because I always try to be useful. I helped my gf a lot too. Like paying a lot of things to her, getting anything she desired or needed, food, expensive gifts, medications, I comforted her during hard times, I sacrificed all my time to make her even a bit happier, etc, which I wouldn't do for anyone. She was also mad at me when I brought back a girl her gloves she lost, because I "run after other girls". I just didn't want this random person (who was a girl by accident) to lose her leather gloves.She wanted to break up, because she said I behave deceitfully. It is true that I always try to avoid conflicts, and I even try to be kind and polite to the ones I don't really like, but of course I have my opinion on them. She believed that this is not normal, and she freaked out, that I am false.Last summer (at 3 moths into relationship) we went partying, and we were a half drunk. We went to an open-style strip club (where the stripper is almost on the street). I pinched 3 dollars into the side of her panties. Later I confessed this, and she again beleived that I cheated on her.Some time ago, I had zero self-confidance. I have a roommate, who is gay, and he really likes me (like finds me sexy). I didn't know how to handle this situation, and it was a pretty good feeling before I got to know my ex gf that someone finds me sexy, and although I'm not gay, he convinced me to send him nudes. The last nude I sent was when we had been dating for a month with my gf. Later, I confessed this to her, and her reaction didn't surprise me. She believed I cheated on her, and thought that if she sent nudes to some straight guy, it would be the same. I know that I'm not gay, I was just lacking self-confidence, and this was a not-so-good way to build it up. She wanted me to go to a psychologist, so "I can figure out if I'm gay". I find some men attractive, but I dont find anything attractive in having anything sexual with men, I know that I'm not gay. Nevertheless I went to the psychologist.There was an occasion, when one of my old female acquaintances messaged while we were on a trip with my gf. It was like "hey, it's been a while talking to you, how are you?". I told this to my gf, and she was furious. She tried to make up parallel situations, like how would I feel if she met with the guy that tried to flirt with her. When we got home, she said that she breaks up, and that she can't handle this anymore. She didn't answer the phone that day, and I went into deep depression mode. After a few days, I told this acquaintance of mine all my problems about my gf, but I remained loyal to her, I even defended her in some topics. Later on, my gf contacted me, that she overreacted, and wants to continue. She asked me whether I had talked to this girl about our problems via text. I lied to her, that I hadn't. I confessed my lie to her 2 weeks after this, as I couldn't keep it inside, and she fell out of love with me. She said I betrayed her. I talked to the girl about the problem "who was the problem". She said, she wanted to cheat on me physically in exchange in her anger.I lied when I got suicidal thoughts because of the love for her, and cut wounds into my hand, I was very desperate. When she asked me what those were, I lied about them, but it was obvious, so she lost her temper again, and was very angry that I lied to her. She says she is broking up with me, but later she phoned me that she wants to stay by me, but I need a therapist.I also lied to her when I was at their place for the first time, and her brother made a very inappropriate joke about her, and I tried to make the matter of the joke myself, as a kind of evasive action, and we laughed it off. She was not present there. She asked later what was the laughung all about, and I said that it was just frustrated laughing, I didn't hear what her brither said. Turns out she actually knew what it was about, and she was angry again that I lied to her.I met with Mary in the summer, while we agreed not to meet opposite-sex friends one-on-one in "date like scenarios". I couldn't find a way to meet her with other persons, so I met with her nevertheless. I wasn't romantically interested in her, and nothing happenned, we were just talking and having a caffee. Later my gf confessed, that she met her ex in summer, as he was her friend, and she needed some emotional support when we were in an argument. She asked if I had met with Mary, but I lied, because I knew she would be angry. But I later confessed it, and she was not happy of course.I also lied about my virginity at the beginning of the relationship. I was so ashamed being a virgin, that I said I have been with a girl once. She showed some understanding, but later she came up with it a few times, so she held a grudge.I talked to her about my ex-crush at the beginning of the relationship, and that I'm so glad that she (my gf) loves me and that my love is reciprocated, and it feels so good and clear, because I was desperate with that girl, and there was that thick, rose-coloured cloud, but not with my gf, and I really loved that. She resented me, because she belived I love her less than I loved this girl if our love is not that confusing, like it was with the ex crush. As this ex crush is my classmate, I had classes together with her, but I tried to remain neutral to her. I had to confess every damn moment when we were in the same class or when we had to wok together. Later, we talked about sexual fantasies. I didn't want to talk about this, but she insisted, she was very stubborn. She kinda interrogated me. She got it out of me, that I fantasize about other women, also about this ex crush, and she wanted to break up again. She said that she also fantasizes about other men, but not that frequently like I had described, and it had "disgusted her".The end came, when we talked about opposite sex friends. She has a lot of them, even exes. She rarely has female friends. I only had Mary, but I broke it off with her, so I didn't have any. I talked about what if I had a female friend, and it was the regular reaction, she was full of anger. She said she doesn't want me to talk to other girls just only when it is necessary. She said that if I loved her, that request wouldn't be much. But I felt it was like in a prison, and I broke up with her.I feel sometimes that I made a lot of mistakes, and that it was my fault that we broke up. I never critisized her, I always tried to support her, I tried to give her everything, even if it was sacrificing some values in order to gain peace, because she couldn't compromise. I tried to own up my mistakes, I even owned up some which I hadn't done. She hardly ever recognised her own mistakes in the realtionship. I assimilate with her values, or it is done. We couldn't find a common way, which is good for both of us, it was only good for her. I feel great regret, as I left her in grave times, her mother is terminally ill, and I also really got to love their parents.I fear that it was all my mistake. What do you think? Sorry for the long post, but I had to write it down.Thank youtl;dr.: I made some mistakes, and my gf couldn't understand me although I tried to give her everything. I wonder if the breakup was my fault. via /r/dating_advice

[fromnatwithlove]

Hong Kong Reflections

#Honestly really so grateful I came on this trip. I feel like i’ve really changed a lot throughout the trip & my life view is also very very different!! This may sound a little exaggerated, but I’m definitely a different person that I was before the trip. Initially thought it would be really awkward and boring, being the only young person and going with yeema, ah yee jane, ahma and gong gong and mummy, but wah i really feel like i’ve grown in the past 6 days than I have in the past year.  HK LESSON #1: Fake it till you make it -- it works.

We all know that we act differently around different groups of people. We seem to take on a different persona, based on what people expect us to be & what they think we are supposed to behave like. For me, I’m very mischievous around my friends, very kind and patient and thoughtful around relatives, yet at home, with my family, I have a very short temper and for some strange reason, I find myself extremely reluctant to offer help to my family members. I never understood the reason why (and I still don’t!) but I realised that, your perspective and expectation of yourself is SUPER important! Small efforts to tweak your mental state and consciousness to pretend to be a certain type of person (e.g. polite, helpful, patient, kind-hearted) will actually help you achieve that kind of character for real. I’ve been so used to being the considerate, patient and helpful kid that I find myself super willing to help my family members at home, even when it’s not necessary to put on a show! So stop believing that your personality traits have to vary with different groups of people, and that, just because you’re short-tempered at home means you’re a short tempered person, that its in your nature and cannot be changed. You can actually just psyche yourself and convince yourself to be more helpful, make mini-mental efforts to not have negative thoughts and basically... fake it till you make it!!! I realised this works for my mom too. She’s usually super impatient and gets angry for the smallest things, but being around relatives forced her to control her anger and like. she can actually do it. We all can do it (be more helpful and patient, etc). It’s honestly just a mental mind game. HK LESSON #2: Filial Piety and Familial Love

There are many little things that say “I love you”, just that we don’t notice them. I love my Ahma so much. I’ve been saying this for so long like 10 years and I always beat myself up for not telling her that but honestly -- there are many things that don’t always have to be expressed in words. Just because I dont say it outrightly doesnt mean that she doesn’t know. I love offering to hold her hand bag, and my favourite feeling is holding her hand to cross the road and when she holds my hand back for balance as she walks, knowing that I’m always by her side and here for her! She’s forever asking if i’m cold and she gave me her scarf. She makes the effort to call me by the right name (instead of my sisters). I remember this particular meal time where, while we were all eating, she kept looking over at my plate to see if I had enough to eat. She would pick up food with her chopsticks and pile them up on my plate, asking me to eat more. I guess there are some things my mom does that I take for granted as well. Every time she asks if I have enough to eat or gives me good food, it’s honestly just cos she’s looking out for me. and I guess i’ve been taking that for granted la. When we argue and I get really angry I always think that I can never get along with my mom and that I cannot stand her as a person. But i realised honestly when she doesn’t get angry we really really get on very well??? which is such a strange feeling for me ahh. And I really honestly am very thankful for my mom cos i know she sacrificed a lot for us and just wants the best for us. without her I would never be where I am today la honestly. and I’m just thankful I guess.  HK LESSON #3: Arguing is also a form of communication

The other day I told Ahyee Diana that Mummy and Jiejie always fight, and she said “It’s normal. Fighting is okay, sometimes it’s even good. Fighting is also a form of communication. It’s better than not talking at all”  If you think about it, fighting with someone means that 2 parties actually care enough about one another to spend time explaining and arguing their point across to the other person, and usually when family’s argue it’s just because they want the best for each other (just that what they perceive as the ‘best’ may be different!) If you didnt really care for the person much you would not waste your time and breath arguing with that person and getting upset or angry over it. In some ways, its actually better than both people giving each other the silent treatment or not bothering to speak to that person at all because they dont care enough. I guess its true that, the opposite of love is not hate, but indifference. HK LESSON #4: Believe + Determination = Success Determination is not synonymous with confidence. I know I am determined but I am definitely lacking in belief and confidence! I know i’m always struggling to draw the line between having confidence and having an inflated ego. I guess I dont have the answer yet, but I think BELIEVING in yourself is very important. If you don’t even think you are a suitable candidate, how would you expect others to believe that you are a good candidate??? IT DOES NOT MAKE SENSE!! you must believe in what you are doing if not there’s honestly no point in even trying! That being said, ah yee jane told me about Uncle Yong Chun’s story of how he single handedly created the company and managed its success, even though he was born without a silver spoon. He was willing to suffer and do construction work to earn bits to fund his own local uni education, and eventually he achieved success. He never gave up on himself, never had a submissive attitude or told himself that he is disadvantaged and can never be good enough. YOU ARE GOOD ENOUGH and you honestly have to believe that! You have so much potential nat! you already have the determination part down you are just missing the part where you TRUST yourself and BELIEVE that you can do it :) :) HK LESSON #5: Grades aren’t everything | The future is unpredictable | Your choices make you

Your academic grades do not determine your future, neither is intellect a guarantor of success and wealth in life. Ah yee Jane was merely working as a clerk, Uncle Phillip didn’t do as well in school as Mummy, Uncle Teck Chee’s grades sucked so bad he had to choose the most unwanted course in poly. Look at where all of them are now. DON’T. SHORTCHANGE. YOURSELF. you have so so so much potential and capability as a person never ever view yourself in a discounted perspective and never ever shortchange yourself. Human beings are amazing and you are a human being!!! You will be able to do great things if you set your mind to it. Honestly, dont let your grades define you because being book smart only works well in the early stages of your life. but HOHO guess what? your early stages in life are over. It’s a different ball game in the working world and it’s up to YOU and your belief in yourself whether you can do it. Never ever think that just because you are less successful now, means you won’t be super successful in the future. The future is so unpredictable! Tables turn and you will never know when your efforts will just all be rewarded all at once :)  HK LESSON #6: Have a Happy Heart 

What’s the secret to happiness? Having a clean heart. One that is free from jealousy and judgement, from insecurities and suspicion. Free from negativity and criticism. Be simple-minded and positive, laugh at everything you see. Laugh at every little stupid story, even if its not funny. Laugh more! smile at people more! Don’t be jealous of people, and don’t feel insecure all the time. Be captured by the things around you and try to find joy in everything. Every time you want to complain, find something to be joyful about and make effort to be less critical and negative in your life. really really just be simple and happy because honestly nothing is more everlasting, authentic and long-lasting than that. Just stay strong and don’t let yourself wallow in self pity. Look at ah yee jane. honestly she could have just fallen into depression after uncle yong chun’s accident, and wallowed in self pity but she’s still so positive and cheerful and hopeful!! she’s satisfied by the smallest things in life and her monetary wealth is not the most important thing to her. 

Be peaceful -- and as JJ said, why get so excited?  HK LESSON #7: There is a reason for everyone’s character flaw, and mistake. 

Don’t be so quick to judge and get angry when others do something wrong. Do not be so quick to make judgement and criticise them, for you do not understand their story.  HK LESSON #8: People love you for who you are No matter what the results are for A levels, your relatives will still always think you are the best and they will love you no matter what. The school you go to does not matter to them at all.  HK LESSON #9: It’s okay to be depressed. People Understand.  It’s perfectly normal to go through hard times. Everyone has their own struggle and no family or person leads the perfect life (with the exception of people like JJ perhaps.) At the same time, speak to more adults if it helps and people actually will understand you! Don’t always think that just bc you had depression means that you’re damaged goods or that you are mentally weak. In fact, if anything you are just mentally stronger for having recovered. At the same time, this trip also made me realise that there’s so much more to life than struggling to meet people’s expectations of you all the time. just care about yourself and love yourself more. The future has so much in store! Jobs, marriage, family, friends -- there are so many people around you that love you so much in fact I feel so awful / queasy and guilty when I think about the nights where I lay in bed and told myself that no one would care if I ever died anyway, because people eventually recover and forget and get over it. SO MANY EXCITING THING LIES AHEAD NAT. As Russell said, the world is your oyster. Go out there and OWN IT.  Overall, Have more confidence in yourself and love more! Sending the future me a lot of love (esp if you’re reading this after tons of rejections and poor A levels results). Just rmb! Your university doesnt determine anything, and nothing is certain in life.