#that im just pretending to not be able to talk to her to manipulate her and that im being disrespectful by intentionally getting louder and

[stardustfanfare]

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[malkaviian]

i am having a great time here on life dot com

[f1nalboys]

Come Inside - Chad Meeks-Martin

Chad Meeks-Martin x Fem!AFAB!Reader

hi guys. this is the fic that was giving me a massive amount of brain rot today!!! i dreamt this (yeah im lucky i know thank you) and havent been able to stop thinking about it since <3 shout out to tatianna (@castieltrash1) for reading it and doing some editing for me, she is the loml and u all need to follow her NEOW! (in fact, she has a charlie from scream 4 fic in the works and its DELICIOUS.) anyways hope u all enjoy this :3

WORD COUNT: 5384 (I KNOW TRUST ME)

WARNINGS: nsfw, first time sex, dub-con except not really?, chad begs to fuck the reader, male manipulator core, 'just the tip' turns into the full thing, unprotected sex, oral (afab and amab recieving,) dirty talk, praise, slight body worship, slight corruption, slight convincing so again, dub con to be safe, high/drunk sex, reader is more high than chad but neither are drunk but they drank if that makes sense, friends to lovers, im just in love with him you guys! reader wears a dress, chad calls reader good girl and pretty girl. actually proofread bc tati is a saving grace angel lady. <3

You feel him before you hear him. You’re at the bar, nursing your first drink of the night, trying to ignore the dull thud the music was giving you when suddenly there’s a large hand placed on the small of your back. “Can I get another beer?” Chad asks the bartender and you feel yourself relax at the sound of his voice, goosebumps rising on the exposed flesh of your arms as his thumb absentmindedly runs up and down. “Hey.” He tilts his head at you a bit. “Nice earrings.”

“Hi. I could say the same to you.” You look up at him and grin, matching his own wide and easy smile. Chad’s standing right beside you, toned body pressed against yours and you don’t know if it’s on purpose or just due to the crowd. “You having fun?” you ask as the bartender hands him the beer bottle. Chad takes a sip from it, looking down at you, grinning against the glass when he notices you watching the way his lips curve against the opening.

It was no secret in the group that you had a crush on Chad. It was hard not to have one on him; he was kind, funny, handsome as hell, and he always seemed to know just the right thing to say. “Now I am,” he teases and you roll your eyes, turning away from him to hide your grin. Just like that. “I’m getting fuckin’ bored though. Too many people. How about you? You find any lucky guys, Y/N?”

“Lucky guys?”

“You know, to take home?” He wiggles his eyebrows for added effect when you look back up at him. “I’m trying to ask if you’re gonna fuck someone tonight.” You nearly choke on your drink and he laughs, deep in his chest, and his hand which was still on your back begins to rub soothing circles. His hands are rough and calloused from his time playing football and they’re so big, with long thick fingers, and suddenly you’re shaking your head in an attempt to get the image of him using them on you, wherever he sees fit, out of your mind. “I take that as a no, then?”

You snort, shaking your head. “Yeah, no, not fucking anyone tonight,” you say, taking another sip of your drink and sighing. “And now my drink’s empty, the music here is too god damn loud, and you’re right, there’s too many fucking people here!” Shaking your head, you dig into the small clutch you had with you, fishing out a few dollar bills and placing them on the bar counter. “I think I’m gonna head out.”

“Can I walk you home?” Chad asks, finally removing his hand from your back as you slide out of the bar stool. Your eyebrows narrow in confusion. You had one drink, were the furthest from being drunk you had been in your entire college career, in fact, and you only lived five minutes down the road. “C’mon,” he says, shrugging his broad shoulders and flashing you that fucking smile that always made your knees weak. “It’s late, I just wanna make sure you get home alright.” 

You pretend to think on it, letting out a small ‘hmm’ noise as you tap a finger to your chin. “Fine, but you have to come inside and sober up a bit before you leave.” Chad’s smile doesn’t go away at your request. In fact, it seems to grow. He takes out his wallet and places a few bills beside yours, grabbing the bartender's attention and letting them know you both had paid off your tabs before holding his arm out for you to grab. You do so with a shy smile, trying to ignore the feeling of him under your fingertips, or how close you were to him, or how he kept looking down at you with a smile, or even how his eyes kept darting to your lips. Everything he did seemed to be a deliberate attempt to get you worked up and it always fucking worked.

He leads you out of the club with ease and before you know it you’re out on the New York street. “Which way?” he asks and you nod to the right, following beside him at a slow pace. It was a nice night, a cool breeze helping to offset the hot air that had permeated the city during the day, and the lights and noises of the city still awake helped set you at ease. “You really weren’t having fun in there, were you?”

“Why do you ask?” 

“Because we got out here and you relaxed like you had just gotten out of a fight or flight situation.” He laughs and you smile at the sound. Chad was always grinning, always smiling, but he had been through some tough shit. You used to wonder how he was able to keep this positive attitude but then decided to let it go and try not to dwell on it too much. 

“It was just… too much, you know? Lots of people, lights, that music-”

“I just think you’re old.” You elbow him in the side and he grins. “You are! You sound like my mom.” Chad sniffles and places his free hand on his back, slowing down to an almost complete stop, speaking with a crotchety old-lady voice. “Back in my day, we went to the sock hop! We were pulled by a horse and buggy, not these cars! Your music is too loud, Chady-kins, turn it down!”

You both fall into a fit of laughter, picking back up the original pace you had set. “Chady-kins? Oh, I’m so stealing that.” He shakes his head at you and you giggle, leaning further into his grip. “I mean it! And I’m telling your mom you called her old.” 

You stop walking, finally outside of your apartment building. “Too far,” he says, his smile dropping ever so slightly when you let go of his arm in favor of typing in your door code. “Am I still invited in?” he asks and you look over at him. He’s leaning against the old brick building, the lights of the restaurant across the street bouncing off of his skin and his smile and his eyes and you’re nodding, face burning hot. “Yeah?” His voice is deeper than it was just a moment before and it makes you swallow heavily.

All you can do is nod. 

“Good. M’glad. You know I’m not drunk though, right?” he says as you two walk into your apartment building. He lets you go first, leading the way, but you can feel his eyes on your ass each time you move. You not-so-subtly sway your hips as you walk and you swear you hear him suck in a breath. “Only had a beer and a half before we left, so, no real need to sober up.”

“I’m not drunk either. You can still hang out for a bit, though, if you want?” He hums in agreement and then you’re at your apartment, digging through your purse for your keys. “It’s a little messy in here,” you say sheepishly as you open the door, revealing the mess you had left behind in your attempt at getting ready to go out. Chad just laughs, kicking his shoes off at the door and locking it behind him. “I couldn’t figure out what to wear.”

Your heels are finally off and you hurry around, picking up the pile of clothes you had left on your bed and floor, shoving them in your closet and hamper. “Well I’d say you landed on something good,” Chad says from the kitchen, his voice muffled as he bends down and peers into your fridge. “Because you look fucking hot.” You squeak out a thank you and busy yourself at your desk, fixing up the few items you had left out and trying to ignore the butterflies in your stomach. 

“What are you doing?” you ask, poking your head over and seeing Chad in the living room. He turns around and holds up the ashtray you had left on your coffee table, an unsmoked blunt still on it. “You wanna smoke?” you ask and he nods. “Go ahead. You want something to drink?”

“Water’s fine. You’re not gonna smoke with me?”

“I don’t know,” you say, passing by him as you head into the kitchen to grab two water bottles for the both of you. “I get sorta… weird when I smoke.”

“Weird? Weird how?” Chad asks and you hear the sound of your lighter sparking as he sits back on your small couch with a groan. “Do you, like, talk about conspiracies or some shit? Because I’ve smoked with Mindy before and it’s either that or her talking about whatever girl she’s in love with that day.” You chuckle, face heating up as you turn around and see him on the couch. He’s sitting with his legs spread and you realize instantly how well-fitted his jeans are, tight around his thighs. His head is back on the couch looking up, eyes closed as he takes another hit. Smoke plumes around him in a lazy rolling fog. 

You nudge him with the bottle and he takes it with a thank you. Sitting down beside him, you tuck your legs up, knees pressed against his thigh. God, his thigh. You look away from them, opening up your own bottle of water and taking a few slow sips, the image of you riding his thigh, his hands on your hips, building in your mind. 

“So? How weird is weird?” Chad questions, holding the blunt out to you. You consider it for a second, eyes flicking between it and his face which was turned towards you. You couldn’t tell Chad that the ‘weird’ you got was different from what he was imagining. You didn’t spout off conspiracies about the government, or get paranoid. You got horny, and being around him would only make that ‘weirdness’ worse. The days alone when you would smoke, you’d find yourself in bed, hand between your legs, moaning his name. “C’mon.” 

It’s all the encouragement you need and you pluck it from his fingers and settle back into the faux leather of your couch. “There you go,” he says, taking the time to let his eyes drag down your body while you’re taking a hit.

The dress you wore fit you great, tight against your body, the color complimenting your skin tone. He hadn’t been able to take his eyes off of you since he saw you tonight from across the bar, nursing his drink for ten minutes before Mindy had shoved him towards you, telling him that if he didn’t make a move on you she would on his behalf. And now here he was, smoking with you, so close on the couch that he could practically feel your pulse under his skin. He wanted you so badly and everything that came with it, the good and the bad. 

The two of you pass the blunt back and forth a few times, talking about nothing in between, but you were being affected far more than Chad was. “Are you even inhaling?” you ask with a giggle, passing it back to Chad. He rolls his eyes, taking a large hit in order to prove that he was. “Alright, alright. Show off,” you mutter, blinking heavily. “How come it’s hitting me harder than you?” you whine, shaking your head when he offers the blunt back to you. “I can barely even think straight. M’all… fuzzy.”

“I’m cooler than you, duh,” Chad says with ease, taking a hit and waiting for your laughter to die down before blowing the smoke into your face. You let him, blinking, pupils wide. He thinks you look pretty normally, but he thinks you look beautiful like this. He leans over and places the roach onto the ashtray, sighing as he leans back, his left hand resting on your thigh. You swallow heavily, your vision fuzzy. Your dress had ridden up quite a bit now and his hand was so warm against your flesh. He’s looking at you with such an intense look it has you squirming, face hot when he laughs at you. “I wanna kiss you.”

You blink, sure you misheard him. “What?”

“I wanna kiss you. Like,” he laughs, shaking his head slightly. His brown eyes seemed to sparkle in the lamplight, the whites of his eyes red, pupils blown out. “So fucking bad.” His other hand, the one that had been resting on his thigh, comes up and he places it on your cheek. His thumb runs along your cheek, catching the corner of your mouth. His touch is gentle but everything is so intense still, your skin feeling like it’s on fire, burning against his own. “Can I? Please?”

You nod, closing your eyes when he grins and leans in. The kiss is slow, each movement of his lips done with a purpose. His hand drags from your cheek to the base of your neck, pushing you into his kiss, his touch, just a bit more. You follow his lead with ease, mind too hazy to try and take over. 

He pulls away for a moment to catch his breath, staring into your eyes. “Fuck,” he mutters and he’s kissing you again, harder this time, sloppy. His tongue is slipping inside your mouth and you let out a soft moan, his hand on your thigh dragging upwards, pushing past the fabric. “So fucking hot,” He mutters against your lips, and then you can feel the top of his fingers brush against your underwear, right over your hips, and you’re pushing his hand away gently. “What? You okay?”

“Yeah, yeah, I’m… I’m okay.” He’s still looking at you, hands dropping to his sides, and he looks worried. You can tell he’s wracking his brain for what he did, if he had gone too far somehow. “I’m a virgin.” You blurt it out and squeeze your eyes shut, embarrassed. When you had felt his fingers up your skirt it had hit you that if it continued he’d be touching you, that you want him to touch you, but that you weren’t sure if he’d want to.

“So?” Your eyes pop open. Chad is staring at you with a kind smile, dimple evident on his cheek, and you feel your face heat up. “I mean, I’m okay with it if you are, you know?” His hand’s on your leg again, fingers dragging up and down your thigh slowly. “Are you nervous about it?”

“I didn’t know if you’d be alright with it.”

“Well, I am. Besides, wouldn’t it be good to lose it to me?”

“What do you mean?”

Chad’s smile grows and he leans in, lips close to yours. You close your eyes, waiting for him to kiss you. “You know me, right?” You hum. You want him to kiss you again. “You trust me too, right?” Another hum and this time you're leaning in a little bit, a whine stuck in your throat when he pulls away. “Then you should know that I’d make you feel good. I’d take my time when I touch you,” His hand is up your dress again and your body jerks involuntarily into his touch. “That I’d take good care of you and your virgin pussy.” 

He brushes his fingers up your inner thigh and your legs spread instantly, giving him room. He grins at the sight of you, eyes closed, disheveled, breathing hard, legs spread and hand gripping his forearm. “Please?” you ask and then he’s kissing you, finally, and his fingers are brushing against your clothed clit. You keen into his touch, whining into his lips, but he doesn’t stop. 

His fingers begin to rub slow circles against you, a good amount of pressure, and it feels so different from when you touch yourself thinking of him. Maybe it’s the weed, maybe it’s the fact that this is happening, but everything is almost too much. You’re surrounded by him in every way possible, his very being filling your own body, replacing your own needs. All you want is for him to feel good, for him to moan, for him to gasp at each press of your hand against him, for him to be begging for more without even realizing he’s doing it. 

You want to make him feel as good as he’s making you feel.

“More?” Chad asks, parroting your own words back to you with a smile, taking his lips away from your own, his fingers speeding up. His nose is brushing against your neck before he’s kissing it, biting down against your pulse gently, soothing it with his tongue. “Bet you’re close aren’t you, Y/N?” His voice is right there in your ear, breath hot against your skin, but you can barely focus on that. “C’mon, be good for me and cum, okay? Please? Fuck, need you to cum so bad, baby.”

“Gonna-” Is all you get out before he’s biting down onto your neck again and pressing down hard onto your clit and then you’re cumming, nails digging into his arm, a moan stuck in your throat. “F-fuck, Chad, shit!” His fingers don’t slow down for a second but he’s moving off of you, pushing your dress up your body and pulling your underwear down in one fell swoop. 

He shoves your legs apart and you take a second to catch your breath, looking down at him as he slides down the length of the couch. His eyes are glued to your pussy, fingers swiping through your folds and popping them into his mouth with a groan. “Taste so fucking good, so sweet,” he says, prodding at your hole with his middle finger, looking up at you. “Can I taste you?”

You nod, heart hammering out of your chest, and watch as he leans in, breathing in deep, eyes fluttering closed. As his tongue flicks over your clit he pushes his finger inside you slowly, just to the first knuckle, and your hip bucks at the intrusion, forcing his thick finger deeper inside you. 

“Relax, it’s okay,” he soothes, watching your eyes squeeze at the feeling. His fingers were thick, stretching you out with just one, and his tongue kept moving, swirling around your clit and sending shockwaves up your body. You try to focus on relaxing your body and when he feels you do so he pushes his finger in all the way. “There you go, good girl,” he coos, spitting onto his finger as he begins to pump it inside you. 

Chad is moving slowly, finger pumping in and out at a snail's pace, tongue moving even slower somehow. It almost hurts how slow he’s going and you know it’s to prepare you, to make you want him more than you already did. He wanted you drunk on his touch. “Faster,” you gasp and you can feel him laugh against you. “More, please, Chad?” You feel another finger press at your hole and you could cry, your body begging for more. 

The stretch is only a little painful, his tongue helping to soothe the ache. You can feel the knot in your stomach growing with each quickening pump of his finger, each swirl of his tongue, and you swear you see stars when he scissors his fingers inside you. One of your hands grabs onto his head, pulling his head in closer to your cunt, hips rocking up to meet his fingers and tongue, grinding against him. 

You cum without warning, your cry caught in your throat when he pushes in a third finger. It was too much. Your brain was still fuzzy from smoking and everything he was doing to you was heightened. You could feel every taste bud on his tongue as he flicked it against your clit, every groove in his fingers as they pumped inside you. 

“Ok, ok, too much,” you get out and he stops, finally pulling away from you. His fingers are coated in your cum and you watch through heavy-lidded eyes as he sucks on one of his fingers, groaning at the taste of you, before holding his other two fingers out for you. They press against your lips and your mouth parts, tongue sticking out, and you wrap your lips around them as he pushes them inside. 

“Don’t you taste good?” he asks with a grin, leaning over you, his free hand resting on the arm of the couch beside your head. You hum, swirling your tongue around his digits. Your hands begin to fiddle with his belt, tugging at it, and he grins. “Wanna suck my cock, that it?” You nod, his fingers still inside your mouth, pressing down on your tongue. “Yeah, I bet you do. Bet you’ve thought all about my cock inside your pretty mouth haven’t you? Fuck, you’re so pretty, you know that?”

You grin, running your hand down his face, mimicking what he had done to you earlier, thumb brushing against the corner of his lips.“You’re pretty,” you say, compliment muffled by his fingers in your mouth, and he gives you a soft laugh, his head falling to hide his grin. He finally pulls his fingers out of your mouth, a small string of saliva connecting them to your lips. “Wanna touch you,” you whine, going back to working on his belt. 

“Whatever you want, baby,” he says, leaning back and shoving his jeans down. He leans backward on the couch, jeans tossed onto the floor, his cock straining against his underwear. You’re practically salivating by the time you are leaning over him, placing soft kisses over the fabric of his underwear, looking up at him through your lashes. “Hey, I didn’t tease you,” he says with a sigh, eyelids heavy with lust at the feeling. He had been hard since he kissed you and the taste of you was still lingering on his tongue and he swears it‘s fucking him up more than the weed did. 

You finally tug at his underwear, pulling them down just enough to pull his cock out. He grabs your wrist, turning your hand palm up and spitting in it, giving you a wink before leaning back, arms behind his head as he enjoys the show. “I’ve never…” you say, suddenly nervous. It was clear to you that Chad had experience in this regard with how easily he had made you cum and you were beginning to worry that you were in over your head, too nervous and inexperienced and high to make sure you did alright.

“That’s alright,” he says, giving you a soft smile, one that instantly quells your anxiety. “Just take your time with it, okay? There’s plenty of time for me to teach you, okay, pretty girl?” You nod, wrapping your spit-slick hand around his cock and he hisses, head tilting back as you begin to stroke him. You start off slow, tightening your grip at the base of his cock and loosening it when you get to the top, swiping your thumb over the tip. “Fu-uck,” he says, tripping over his words with a laugh and a thick swallow. “You sure you’ve never done this before? Feels fucking amazing, Y/N.” 

Leaning down, you keep your eyes on him as you lick over the tip of his cock, collecting the bead of precum there and swallowing it. He groans and you can feel him throb under your hand. You flatten your tongue and lick from the base of his cock up to the tip, following the prominent vein he had, and his hips buck at the feeling. This is exactly how you wanted him; his eyebrows scrunched together, eyes struggling to stay open at the feeling of you, him fucking into your fist with an eagerness he couldn’t control. You were making him feel good and fuck, it went straight to your cunt. 

You don’t try to take all of him in your mouth. It was like he said; there would be plenty of time for him to train your throat, just like he had always dreamt of. You keep your hand on him, moving at the same pace, and you take the tip of his cock in your mouth, swallowing around it. He was big, bigger than any toy you had used before at the very least, and when you take him a bit further down he bucks his hips, plunging his cock down your throat. You gag and pull off of him and he’s apologizing.

“Sh-shit, sorry! Sorry, Y/N, just, fuck, your throat felt so good, couldn’t help it. C’mere.” He pulls you in for a kiss and you know he’s sorry but even if he wasn’t you wouldn’t care. It hits you then, while his tongue is down your throat and his hand is cupping your cheek, that you’d let him do anything to you and that you’d thank him for it. “Can I fuck you?” he asks, pulling away from your lips and resting his forehead on yours. 

“I don’t know…” you start, chewing on your bottom lip. “You’re big… it’s gonna hurt.”

“How about just the tip, then? If you want more we’ll keep going, if not, that’s fine.” You ponder the offer for a second. He told you he’d take care of you, that he’d take his time, make sure it felt good for you. “Don’t you trust me, baby?” You do trust him. You know him, just like he said. You nod and he smiles. “Good girl. Okay, let's go to the bed, yeah? I’ll get you out of this sexy fucking dress and I’ll make sure you feel good, alright baby?”

He helps you stand and keeps kissing you, unzipping your dress as he moves you through the apartment, pulling your straps down. The dress is pulled off of you a second before your knees hit the back of the bed and you’re both falling onto it, giggling. “Hi,” you say, hands on his shoulders. He grins.

“Hi.” Chad stands, pulling his shirt off and tugging his underwear off, tossing both somewhere behind him. You both take a moment to stare at the other, nervous giggles leaving your lips. You had dreamt of this moment dozens of times before, had cum to it just as often, and now it was happening and it was somehow better than what you had ever thought up. “Look at you,” he says, hands dragging up your legs to your chest and back down again. He’s slotted in between your legs and you whine, wrapping one leg around him and pulling him in closer. “Use your words.”

It’s the first time he was really telling you to do something and you swallow heavily. “Please, Chad, can you?”

“Can I what?”

“Can you fuck me? Please? I want you to take my virginity so badly, I need it, please? I’ve thought about it so much, wanted it for so long.” You’re whining now, begging, and you swear you can feel the tears begin to fill your eyes. He’s smiling down at you and his eyes are so dark you’re not sure how much of his iris is left. Your legs spread for him when he nods and you watch with bated breath as he grabs ahold of his cock, spitting on it, before swiping up your slit.

He groans at the feeling. “So wet, baby. Bet your pussy will let me just slide right in.” He pushes the head of his cock in slowly and you gasp, tears filling your eyes at the stretch. It felt good but it hurt and you can feel him rocking his hips ever so slightly, pulling out and pushing back in, never going too far inside you. His hands are on your thighs, digging into your flesh, and you’re overwhelmed again. 

The two of you stay like this a moment, the head of his cock pushed inside, your cunt clenching around him desperately. When he leans down over you, resting his forearms beside your head, he pushes in just a bit more and you whimper at the feeling. Chad wipes a stray tear off of your cheek and kisses you, short soft kisses in an effort to distract you from the pain and him from the overwhelming urge to push all the way in.

“Can I move more?” he whispers against your lips and you shake your head a little, too fuzzy to really think about it. “Please?” he whines, nuzzling into your neck. “Don’t I feel good, baby? Doesn’t my cock feel good inside you?”

“It does-”

“It’ll feel even better all the way inside.” His voice sounds so desperate and now he’s rocking his hips further, plunging another inch inside you and you moan because he’s right, it does feel good. The burn and pain of the stretch have gone away, giving way to pleasure. You want more, you want him, you just don’t know how to say it. “Please, baby, fuck. Your cunt feels so good, so fucking tight and wet and fuckin’ perfect for me. Let me fuck you, god, I need it so bad. Don’t you trust me? You know I’ll take care of you, right?”

You nod, babble out some response close to ‘yes, please, more,’ and then he’s pushing all the way inside, hips snapping forwards. You yelp at the intrusion, caught off guard by how full you feel, and then he’s thanking you over and over and over again as he sets a brutal pace. Chad’s weight is fully on you, his arms wrapping around you to pull you even closer to him. He can’t get enough of your skin against his, of the noises you make, of the way your pussy clenches around him and pulls him in closer, milking his cock. 

“Thank you, oh fuck, thank you, Y/N. Christ, so tight.” His voice is cracking, raising an octave as he begins to lose himself in the feeling of you around him. The pain of his thrusts is quickly overtaken by the pleasure and you’re moaning, wrapping your legs around his hips, driving him deeper inside you. You both could die happy like this. “So close, fuck, how am I so close already?” He’s talking more to himself than you at this point and that’s okay because you’re too focused on the building pleasure in your gut to care. 

The position you’re in has his pelvis grinding against your clit with each thrust and you swear your mind melts just a little bit more each time he fucks into you. “Please, please, please,” you say and you’re not sure what you’re pleading for but all you know is you don’t want him to fucking stop. You’re right there on the edge, can feel it through your entire body, and then Chad is moaning your name loudly and you feel him cum inside you, hips flush against yours.

You cum at the feeling of him filling you and he whines, hips rocking as you pulse around him. He’s sensitive, his head swimming, and the two of you stay like that for a moment, his head in your neck and your arms and legs wrapped around him. “So good,” he finally says, pulling his head back to look at you, his eyebrows stitching together. “You okay? M’sorry, I got carried away, I didn’t even ask-”

“It’s alright,” you say, running your hands up and down his back. You can feel him shiver underneath your touch. “I liked it.”

“Yeah?” he teases, kissing you on the lips a few times, biting down on your bottom lip as he pulls back. “Wanna do it again?”

You gasp as his hips begin to move again, the squelch of your cunt and his cum being fucked back into you filling the room. “Y-you wanna go again? Already?” He nods, hand snaking down in between you two, pressing against your sensitive clit and grinning when you whine. “If you can handle it.” You nod despite not knowing if you could; he grins. “My good girl, right? Don’t worry, I’ll make sure you cum till you’re stupid. You’ll look so pretty when you’re dumb on my cock, won’t you?”

[whole-circus]

I was wondering if you'd put your depiction on the creepypastas if the reader was a Tomie Kawakami like entity. I don't know if you have ever read or seen this character by Junji Ito or not so only do this if you're comfy

PS: have good day, hydrate and rest °v°

Creepypastas with Tomie Kawakami like!

➥ with Jeff the Killer, Jane the Killer, Eyeless Jack, "Ticci" Toby, BEN Drowned, X-Virus

Hi! I just LOVE that idea!! I must say I enjoy reading Junji Ito's works (even if Tomie wasnt my fav)! Here you go hun, if you want some other characters feel free to say! >:3 Good day for you too, take care! Also you waited so long im sorry, I had to made small break and now I feel like my "work" is shitty!!!!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

Jeff the Killer

Okay I feel like at first Jeff would pretend that he is not into you..who knows why? His own deep insecurities? Or he just doesnt like the idea of how flirty you are? You know, he usually is the one making first move and toying with others (making them obv uncomfy, he act like definition of "white straight good guy" lol). But no worries, he does find you absolutely cute, thinks you are prettiest person walking on earth (and you are all that actually). Listen, he wont magically turn into huge simp..but! you make him feel things. Congrats, you have high chance to broke Jeff and make him lovely-dovely on his weird way towards you! No matter if you are already in relationship with him or not, he gest pretty possesive and jealous over you! Come on, you cant be all pretty and cute AND have everyone all over you! People who adores you might end up dead before you will be able to kill them. Definitely would try threaten people to stop talking to you..its up to you if you find it cute or scary tho!

Jane the Killer

Jane gives me huge femme fatale vibes so i feel like you would really vibe together (no matter your gender)! And come on!! She understands the need of revenge like no one else!! Jane wants to beat Jeff ass! Adores you so much..not only you are absolutely gorgeous but also pretty smart too! Appearance matter in some way to her, but I think she would actually be into intelect and personality more than how you look like. And the fact that you are such a great manipulator!! You will make her fall in love with you even more. She is such a cutie im telling you! Jane is jealous but she puts that aside all that aside and she just worries about your yeah well technically you cant die, but what damage your brain will damage your brain and stay for long time! She doesnt want you to get hurt, even if you are doing the big scary job here!

Eyeless Jack

Demon partner with demonish partner? Isnt that perfect? Yeah yeah, you are diffrent from eachother but definitely have common ground, arent you? Dunno why but I feel like your charm wouldnt work on him just becasue of what he is. That doesnt mean that he doesnt find your ass cute tho! He just you know..its not really obsessive but more of actual feelings. Even if other pastas fell in love with your character too, then Jack would be a bit diffrent and at first fell for who you are and not what you look like! When it comes to possible of jealousity, he is not that much of envious about people who you flirt with/or they flirt with you! He clearly understands that you do it more for your..entertainment and to cause chaos (and maybe some sort of revenge). Also he is immortal, you are immortal - best couple to ever exist! You will spend eternity with eachother so he doesnt have anything to worry about!

"Ticci" Toby

Damn reader, you will break Toby! He gets so shy and so blushy around you.. Especially if you are flirting with him! Doesnt really like the idea of you and other people being a bit flirty. He gets jealous easly and it leads him to being insecure and doubtful of himself - he knows that he is not perfect, and all your actions make him even more anxious. Toby does care so much about your opinion so he just bottles it all up, not wanting to mess up even more! But I bet you are smart human being and feel that something is wrong. Just reassure him that you love him a lot and he is way diffrent than people you talk to (well, he is in fact atill alive, isnt he) and he is good to go!

BEN Drowned

Ben is Ben, not a simple thought in his head. Yeah kidding, but he just cant help but simp over you so so much! Like he is down on his knees at your service the second he sees you! Dont get me wrong, you are not only what you look like but its the first thing he notices about you! It would be almost too easy to manipulate him, but we dont do that here..(at least I hope so). Anyway, he literally worships you, you are the most good-looking person out here! And he is a ghost, he has seen a lot. About your habit of flirting around and then watchin somebodys downfall? I cant say he is not jealous, but he wont show it. Also finds your actions pretty funny. Who doest like to see someone dying becasue of their stupidy? Yeah, definitely not Ben, loves the chaos you cause.

X-Virus

Cody enjoyes how flirty you are! Okay well, maybe he only enjoys that if you are flirty with him! For real, you get him all giggly and blushy to be honest. Its so easy to tease him and so fun to look at! Propably tries his best to do the same but fails miserably. Your relationship give me a bit of nerd x popular partner vibe lol! You know, he literally spends half of his time in lab or studying for fun + Cody propably stinks. Now here you are, having such a mesmerizing appearance!! (You are fun to be around to, lets not be so vain!) . At the same time he asks many question, its just in his nature to enjoy knowing things. He just cant help but wonder what or who are you..but who wouldnt want to know that?..And please try to get idea of testing you or making small experiments out of his small silly head!! He is weirdo like that! But at the end of a day he is your weirdo!

˚　　✦　　　. ˚₊‧꒰ა ☆ ໒꒱ ‧₊˚. 　　　✦　　˚

[bloody-cupcakes]

Okay okay, let me throw the idea out of just manipulative Yan!Veronica

Can be a fic or headcanons, whatever you want to do, but im willing to let this girl manipulate me idc!!!

-🐊

Yesss I love that idea so much!! Sorry this is a month late, I got distracted for a bit since I went on a trip to the beach with my friend and didn't get any writing done for a good couple of weeks lmao. I decided to go with both headcanons and a fic because I felt bad for making you wait for so long. Headcanons are below, the fic will be out later this week! 🥰

Tw: yandere/dark content, gender neutral reader, Veronica is extremely manipulative but we love her anyway, brief mentions of suicide (relevant to canon, yknow)

Veronica's one of the more covert yanderes tbh. She's not as domineering as Heather Chandler or straight up crazy like JD. At first, she just appears as your typical teenage girl who's worried about their partner. Sure, she's a little clingy, and possessive, and overly protective, but with people like Kurt and Ram out there who wouldn't be?

Her manipulation is also a lot more subtle than other people's. She's able to easily disguise it as worry, insisting that she's just trying to look out for you when it comes to parties you might want to attend or people you hang out with

She has absolutely no problem making up stories or coming up with lies in order to get you to leave certain people alone. Oh, you didn't hear that so-and-so slept with their best friend's boyfriend? Wow, I thought everybody knew that. She's so trustworthy and genuine, of course you believe her

If you ever manage to catch her in a lie, she's quick to turn it around on you or act as if she has no idea what you're talking about. She'll pretend that she got this information from a second hand source, so naturally it couldn't be all true, but at least some of it has to be, right? So it's still better for you not to hang out with this person, just in case

It's even harder to see what she's doing as manipulation given the fact that her worries aren't entirely baseless. There are plenty of awful people in the school, and it wouldn't be too far-fetched to believe that she truly does want to protect you. She may be a bit excessive, sure, but that's only because she doesn't want to see you get hurt

When I say she limits the people you're "allowed" to hang out with, I mean that. Heather McNamara is okay, and maybe Heather Duke, but Heather Chandler is off limits, and don't even think about going anywhere near Kurt and Ram (not that you'd want to, because ew)

Even Martha Dunstock is a perfect candidate for a friend, because she never hangs out with anyone else anyway, which means no one will bother you two. And by bother I of course mean give you any sort of attention

JD is a bit of a toss up. Veronica trusts that he'd never let anything happen to you, but she also knows that he always ends up finding trouble no matter where he goes, intentional or not, so you'll typically only hang out with him if Veronica is also there to keep an eye on him

Overall, she's a great girlfriend! If you don't mind only hanging out with people that she trusts to keep an eye on you or occasionally getting caught up in her and JD's passionate discussion about "ridding the world of popular filth" and all that. But that's nothing to worry about, I'm sure. Even if the eventual suicides of Heather Chandler and Kurt and Ram did seem a bit suspicious...

[lovebvni]

My DR family tree (MHA!!)

This is not the post I was talking about in my last blog, I just finished my family tree (using canva) and I wanted to share it! I fucking hate the colour palatte btw so we r gonna ignore it and pretend its black and white

IGNORE THAT RANDOM WHITE WOMAN AND RANDOM WHITE MAN I DONT HAVE A FACECLAIM FOR THAT SIDE OF MY FAMILY YET HELP MEEE information below!

Anyways lets start with my grandparents Robert and Carol

YES THEY ARE NICKI MINAJ'S PARENTS AND WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT!! Idk why but i rlly felt the need to b related to nicki (i think i was obsessed w her when making this dr LMFAO) but i js stuck w it bc clearly younger me had a thing going on. I haven't fully developed them because... they aren't my parents and they live in Florida while I live in Japan.. soo.. ONTO ONE OF THEIR KIDS!

Milagros is Onika's younger sister (i... think.. LMFAO). Her quirks are Mental Blood Manipulation (being able to control someone's thoughts through blood), Earth's Energy (meaning she uses energy from the sunlight.. like this girl photosynthesizes so yes, she does have flowers growing from her hair), and Personal void -- inspired by Janet from the good place (GOOGLE IT.) She has dark brown hair, a mixed skin tone, hazel eyes, and she stands at 5'4 in. Her occupation is a fashion designer at SCULPTOR clothing. Miracle (Milagos nickname) married Kenji Toga. Kenji's face claim is kinda wack because I could not find what I originally wanted him to look like (he's blonde, with stubble but.. girl i think the pin got deleted.) He has golden-ish eyes, pale skin, and he stands at around 6'8 in... girl.. uhm... yeah. He is super sweet and knowledgeable. He wears some glasses that make him look like an old man, though. He also works at SCULPTOR as a business manager (yeah, they became friends bc Miricle needed a business manager LMFAO THEN THEY GOT MARRIED ISNT THAT CUTE??) His quirks are Black blood (I will be making a blog on this) and stealth (i dont know what this means anymore or why I made it.)

Now, onto my siblings.

First up we have one of the twins, the younger one, Kuro. His American name is Kurtis, and he stands at 6'2 at 17 years old. Yeah. He attends UA's competing school, Shiketsu. Because of that, we are high in competition -- as many siblings are. Together, we are a lot of trouble.. so uhm... yeah. LMFAOO!! He has dark brown hair, tanned skin, and green and golden eyes (HETEROCHROMIA)!! If y'all want me to draw him I will... I suppose... but y'all js gon slut over him omg. Anyways! His quirks are shape shifting and outcome (again, I have no idea what outcome is).

The second twin, Himiko Toga! Yes, the one that becomes a villain you guys, I am so y/n stfu. She has blonde hair, lightly tanned skin and is 5'7 at 17. The women got fucked over, dude. WE NEED TO BE TALLER !! Anyways, she is super sweet, her perception of reality is just messed up. We always used to do each others hair, makeup, and walk our dogs together. She loves the outdoors and makes me so so happy. In this version, she has two quirks -- blood shifting (her og quirk) and stealth. He also has a few strands of red and blue in his hair.

I'm gonna skip myself for now and go onto Himari. At the time I shift, only one of her quirks have developed, and it is earths blessing ( a version of our mothers quirk. ) She is a version of my cr little sister. At the time I shift I believe she's in middle school??? I don't know. But she looks the most like my mother, only having my fathers face shape. Finally, me -- Harmony. You may be wondering "well why is your name American and nobody else's?" I was the only one born in the US. LMFAO IM LAME BRO THE REST OF MY FAMILY WAS BORN IN JAPAN!! Anyways... My deadname is Harmony, and in the US I go by Karsyn or Kaythan and in Japan I go by Kosuke. When I shift I am 14...ish? I have no idea for sure. I was born with brown hair, but I have sense dyed it to be black, red and white. I attend UA high. I am 5'8 at the time, and my quirks (yes... i have four...) are bone manipulation, black blood, shape shifting and personal void. One day I will make a post going more in depth about myself, but right now I just wanted to make an overview of my whole family.

I hope you guys like this post! It was fun going through my script and remembering everything about my dr. I will update everything when I do shift there, but for now, that's it!

Love and blessings,

Abyss

[catholicjinx]

im gonna go insane about chuuya + skk in general and this song under the cut…i apologize

Okay cirice is a song that was originally written to develop an inside image of abusive relationships and especially how cults lure people in and they dont realize it until the very end. This includes things like the cycle of luring someone in, becoming aggressive, and trying to undo the damage by pretending to sound remorseful. Sounds familiar??? (Port mafia)

skylia @kaiserkisser has a SHIT ton of good posts about this kind of thing especially regarding the port mafia so i highly recommend checking out some of their reblogs if youre interested in seeing more. In regards to one of their reblogs, i saw a post the other say that detailed how the port mafia “teachers” or mentors will always end up abusing their trainees the way they knew how to be trained. mori treated dazai the way he knew how to be treated, dazai treated akutagawa like less than human because thats all hes ever viewed himself as, and akutagawa gives kyouka insane amounts of praise because thats all he desired, but he doesnt know how to treat her like a normal kid because HE never got to be a normal kid.

this is where chuuya comes in. Chuuya didnt have any “mentors” besides kouyou and possibly mori. He was shoved directly into being the sheep’s leader when he was around 15 years old and hasn’t known anything besides that. dazai eventually treated him like his dog due to his ability being so easy to manipulate and when chuuya’s ability IS used, he essentially becomes animalistic and can only be controlled by dazai. cirice (the song) fits this dynamic so well as it talks about an abusive, almost cult-like relationship similar to the cult of the band ghost. at his core, dazai is a manipulative and cunning individual who cares about his partner but it took a while for him to actually do so. chuuya is trusting and loyal just like a dog, which is why this fits literally perfectly. (lyric analysis below :3)

for the opener of the song, i interpret this as chuuya’s ability being the “rumble” and his poem that he recites being the “calling” but this is up to interpretation!! I dont have a lot to say about this verse

the first two lines HEAVILY remind me of stormbringer and how chuuya dealt with his feelings of doubting the fact that he was even human. These particular lines almost feel like dazai is reminding him he’s human even though he has an entire demon inside of him that he cant control. “I can feel the thunder” to me, is dazai recognizing that chuuya values himself differently with stormbringer and his ability (and that he’s most likely going to take advantage of this later but whatevs). “I can see through the scars inside you” is almost like chuuya validating that dazai is also human too, that the abuse mori has put him through that he has reflected onto others doesnt entirely define him as a person

“You and i see eye to eye” is a VERY impactful and heavy line as chuuya and dazai have always been one in the same. partners, soukoku, soulmates, whatever it is theyre paired together and are essentially inseparable. despite their abilities being different and circumstances being different their struggles with humanity are almost identical. “Now there is nothing between us” alludes to the power that dazai has over chuuya in battle, particularly when he lets his ability take control without restraint. Their “merge” is eternal because chuuya will forever only be able to use his ability with dazai’s help, and dazai will always find power over chuuya because of that. “Cant you see that you’re lost without me?” Is another power-based line where dazai is most likely viewing himself as better than chuuya because he typically uses him as a tool with his ability, but only when said ability is being used. He’s manipulative in the sense where he cares about him but not FOR him and will always use him as a ruse for the things he needs. (the rest of the song has repeating lyrics so i didnt include them so i hope this made sense :) )

[thinkingjasico]

what if when jason woke up on the bus with piper and leo the only memory he had was the name nico di angelo?

The first and second part of this post rewriting The Lost Hero, Son of Neptune, Mark of Athena and House of Hades are in this link <3

Making BoO in a new post bc that one was already a bit long. So shall we finally finish this rewriting HoH with BoO? Walk with me...

Nico has gone with Reyna and Coach Hedge to take the Athena Parthenos, and Jason is on the ship with the others nearing the end of the mission.

For jasico shippers BoO already starts with the iconic "gods...nico" which is already so gay that I don't even need to change it.

The book starts with Jason’s POV extremely worried about Nico and we're going to pretend here that his arc with his mother ended in a better way. Maybe with Jason pretending to accept her proposal and staying in the Odysseus' Palace with his mother to see what else he can find out about Gaia's plans. Piper and Annabeth manage to get away and get to the ship. The rest of the crew gets a little pissed at Jason and wants to leave, but Piper and Leo explain to everyone that they have to stay and wait, that Jason must have a plan and must not have really allied with Gaia. So Jason gets all the information they need and thinks he's gonna have to fly or something like that until he finds the ship because he thinks they must have gone and left him behind (the abandonment complex this boy has...) and then Jason manages to scape, but Michael Varus, Beryl and other soldiers intercept him, Jason denies his mother that same way but makes a whole speech, he takes the stab but manages to fly, almost falling, and get out of there. He thinks he won't be able to fly for much longer to find the Argo II and will fall into the sea and die. At that moment he sees the ship in the distance and thinks that it's the first time that people have not given up on him and abandoned him. When he arrives everyone helps him and Jason, almost fainting, says he doesn't believe they stayed there at the risk of being attacked and Hazel, who doubted Jason the most, says that of course they did because they are like a family now and you cant leave your family behind.

Meanwhile, Nico is starting to feel weak from the shadow travel. Little by little he gets closer to Reyna and trusts her more. Nico remembers how Jason always said that when Nico felt ready to open up to friendships he would see how many people would like to get to know him better, not just Jason and Hazel. Nico found it hard to believe because he'd had a small crush on Percy when he was younger, which he saw would come to nothing when he found out Percy liked Annabeth, and for a long time Nico thought he wasn't worthy of love at all and felt guilty about his feelings for boys. His mother died, his sister too, his first crush not only didn't feel the same way, but he often actually seemed to hate Nico… and then when Nico allowed himself to start believing he could be loved by Hazel and Jason, if he actually felt the same for Nico—Jason was taken and placed as someone else's boyfriend. But little by little Nico begins to see that Reyna, like his sisters and Jason, doesn't expect anything from him. She doesn't want anything from him, except his friendship.

Gradually Nico talks a little with Reyna about Jason, but he talks about it like they're just friends and he's worried about Jason because he's feeling something strange. Reyna obviously realizes that it's not just friendship, as she always suspected, and tells Nico to try to get in touch with Jason. So Nico manipulates his dreams to get into Jason's. It's difficult because Jason doesn't have the preparation or powers to control his own dreams. But when entering Jason's dreams, Nico can feel that he is dying. Nico wakes up startled but before he can tell Reyna that they need to IM the Argo II— they are attacked.

Jason feels something strange when he wakes up, almost as if he's had a vivid dream—but stranger. He wakes up hearing Nico's voice, but he's not there. Feeling his presence and hearing his footsteps... but Nico must already be on the other side of the continent about to make the jump across the Atlantic. Jason feels the ship rocking a lot and goes to the deck. He offers to go down with Percy and that's when Jason gets better and makes the promise of the shrines to the gods.

Nico is in Portugal, very weak and almost dying, when he sees his father and Hades says the "I want you to be an exception" (I have a post about this line here 🥺) and Nico decides to IM Jason.

He's in the infirmary tending to some injuries with Piper when Nico appears nearby. Piper is startled and at least three light bulbs explode when Jason sees Nico there.

"Sorry I didn't mean to appear out of the blue but this thing doesn't have a ringtone or anything." Nico is a little embarrassed because Jason had his shirt up for Piper to bandage his abdomen. Jason drops his shirt in the same second.

"No, dont worry about it." He gets closer to the IM. "Did something happen? Are you okay? Reyna? Coach?"

Nico gives a small smile because that is how Jason is. He is the one in the infirmary tending to injuries, and Nico felt he was on the verge of death— but there he is worried about others.

"We are all fine."

"You don't look fine." Nico really is very thin, sunken-eyed and clearly weak.

"Look who's talking. I felt a strange thing as if you were dying, but I guess at least that didn't happen, right?"

Jason smiles. "No. I'm very much alive."

"That's great." Nico wants to look at him whole, ask more, tell about his conversation with his father, tell him about getting closer to Reyna. Tell Jason how every time he walks into the void filled with emptiness and he has to focus on the next destination, his mind betrays him and thinks about Jason and he almost ends up on the Argo II again with Reyna, Hedge and the Athena Parthenos in Jason's room. And Jason looks at him like he also has a million things to say.

Piper clears her throat and they both snap out of their trance and look at her. "I think your bandage is fine for now, Jason." She gathers a few things and throws them away. "I'll give you a second. Nico, please say hi to Reyna for me." And she leaves.

Jason turns back to Nico rather embarrassed.

"I've been thinking—"

"I wanted to know if—"

They speak at the same time.

Jason chuckles. "You go first."

Nico nods and tries to muster up the courage but can't look at Jason, so he looks down. "I've been thinking about not going to the Underworld if this war ends well for us."

"Really?!" Nico looks up and Jason has wide eyes and a bright smile.

"Really." Nico tries not to smile too, and he doesn't know why it's so hard to control his smile every time he's with Jason even if it's an IM being countries away from each other. But whenever he sees him, the skeleton butterflies in Nico's stomach want to come back to life. It's really irritating.

"And what made you change your mind?" Jason asks and Nico notice he's trying his best to control his smile. "If I may ask."

Nico shakes his head and looks away for a second to control his involuntary blushing. "Many things." Nico turns back to Jason. "Let's say one day a very annoyingly smart boy told me that it's possible to choose your family and have people in your life who care about you and love you for who you are and who make you want to choose to live and fight for those people. And I've been starting to think this might be true."

Jason's eyes that had previously been a little gray from the possible pain of his injuries, gleamed again as Nico saw it happen every time they were together. "I'm glad to hear that. I wonder if this smart boy is among those people."

Nico rolls his eyes but a small smile tugs at the tip of his lips. "Annoyingly smart, don't forget."

Jason nods, feigning seriousness. "Of course."

Nico shakes his head and hears Reyna calling to him in the distance. He looks for where her voice is coming from and sees that Reyna and Hedge are running to him.

"Holy crap." Nico says scared.

"Nico what..." Jason asks worriedly.

Nico doesn't even turn to him. "I have to go." Nico runs his hand over the message and it disappears.

At that moment they are attacked by the werewolves and Nico gets seriously injured. They make the next jump to escape and meet with the Hunters and Amazons (which means, Thalia). We're in Reyna's POV so she's shocked that Thalia is Jason's sister and wonders how Nico will react. Nico wakes up with the note that the hunters took Reyna and he gets mad. He goes out and buys the classic palm tree shirt and then meets Thalia briefly. She says that Reyna didn't know much about how Jason is but as Nico stayed longer on the ship she asks him if he doesn't know anything else, Nico is kind of embarrassed and Thalia doesn't understand why, so he just says that Jason was injured but that he seems to be recovering well. Nico tells Thalia about his theory about the end of the prophecy and Thalia gets serious and thoughtful, and says she hopes Nico is wrong, but they both know he's not.

With great difficulty they make the next jump and Nico soon finds Bryce.

On Jason's side and the Argo II, they are sure they need the doctor's cure or Jason or Leo will die at the end of the prophecy. Jason thinks it's okay if he has to die, as long as he at least gets to see Nico one last time, if only to tell him not to give up on his life and not go to the Underworld.

After killing Bryce in the most sinister way possible, Nico passes out and is unconscious for days. When he wakes up he tells Reyna and Hedge everything. Everything about him, about Jason... He can't look at them and really want to cry.

"It would be weird being two guys together. But it makes it even worse that Jason is…well, Jason, and I am me."

"Kid, I don't understand." The coach says. "You demigods complicate things too much. What would be wrong with two men together? It's natural for me as men and women, satyrs and nymphs…" Nico looks at them a little confused but hopeful. Reyna nods with a smile and Nico with teary eyes smiles weakly. "And another thing, the Grace boy is quite annoying but he's a good figther, you're the same. If he likes you and you like him, I don't know what could stop you." Nico and Reyna laugh a little.

Coach says he'll get things ready for them to go and Reyna stays behind to talk to Nico.

Nico looks at her embarrassed. "I know you liked him, I don't want to..."

Reyna holds up a hand, silencing Nico. "Nico I didn't like Jason— I liked the idea of him. The son of Jupiter, praetor by my side, very powerful demigod and a soldier like no other. I thought I needed to be with a boy like that, and I don't know, maybe I was wrong about that in many ways." Nico frowns in confusion and Reyna smiles. "You trusted me, and I'm grateful for that. After this madness is over and I can think about myself instead of a war, maybe I can understand what it was I had for Percy and Jason, and why that happened. Then I'll talk to you about it. But just know that you and Jason are two of the demigods who most deserve a happy life after all you've been through." She places her hand on Nico's shoulder and he was still processing the 'Percy' part of what she said. "We can die at any moment, you more than anyone knows that— Will you really let fear stop you from being happy and making him happy?"

Back to Jason.

They got the doctor's cure and are reaching Athens. Jason and Hazel tried to contact Nico again but couldn't, and the two are anxious and wondering if Nico died in that attack. Hazel says he's not dead, that she would know if he was, but they are still afraid.

Hazel and Jason are on the deck waiting for the others to finish putting on their armor. They are looking at the blue sea and Athens approaching at every second.

"I wish I had spoken to him one more time." Hazel says and Jason looks at her. "In case we don't make it out of here."

"We're going to get out of here. This is just the beginning of the battle, we still have Gaia ahead of us." Hazel nods and looks at him very seriously.

"I know you guys don't talk about it with others. But back at Camp Jupiter I knew you guys spent all day together while I did my training." Jason’s eyes wide a little. "Every night I saw Nico arrive at the barracks with a silly smile on his face that didn't match his sadness and distance of the rest of the time. He didn't even have to tell me much other than silence when I asked if he liked you for me to understand everything."

Jason couldn't help but smile a little. "I've been remembering more and more things. Like coming home with a silly smile too." Hazel chuckles but Jason's smile fades little.

"What is it?"

Jason shakes his head. "I don't know. It's weird that I didn't have my memories altered to think that all of this happened between Piper and I, like it was for her. And I feel guilty about that. I know it's crazy—"

"Jason you shouldn't feel guilty about losing your memories but not having false memories of her. It was bad enough for you to forget your life and who you are. It's Juno's fault that this happened to you guys, not yours."

"I know, it's just..." Jason lets out a weary breath and looks back at Piper helping Annabeth with her armor. "I know it was hard for her, and I can't help but blame myself. And at the same time I don't understand why Juno tortured her with these false memories and left Nico's name in my head and didn't put Piper in my memories of him." He looks at Hazel who seems to be paying close attention to the matter.

"Mist is complicated Jason. Maybe even being a goddess Juno didn't have full mastery of it."

Jason nods thoughtfully and looks away and now Athens is even closer. Jason’s heart races. "Hazel, please promise me something."

She nods. "Sure, what is it?"

Jason looks at her. "Maybe at the end of the mission I will die—" Hazel opens her mouth to speak but Jason continues. "I know we have the cure, but I've been thinking... We only have one cure, what if Leo and I die? I'd rather you use the cure on him." Hazel frowns. "And if that happens, I just want you to please promise me that you'll be with Nico, that even though he's on one side of the country at Camp Half-Blood and you're on the other at Camp Jupiter, that you'll be family to each other, and that he won't be alone."

Hazel smiles and takes his hands. "Nico may be on the other side of the planet and I will never abandon him. And you will not die, you'll also be with him and we'll all be a family." Jason looks down feeling his chest tighten. Nico could be in danger right now, maybe the seven won't even make it back to Camp Half-Blood no matter how much Jason tells Hazel they are. Maybe when Jason arrives Nico will be dead, maybe Jason will die in the end... it's a one in a million chance that this will have a happy ending.

Nico arrives at the camp and finds Will, Lou and Cecil. They go together to try to infiltrate the Roman army. And Nico realizes how little are their chances to survive this war.

The Argo II reach Athens and they fight the Giants alongside the gods. In the end Zeus blames Hera and Apollo, and Jason defends Apollo. They are heading towards the ship but Jason stops for a second beside Hera while Leo and the others prepare the ship. Hera looks confused by Jason's approach, but happy that he wants to talk to her after all.

"Weird that you being the goddess of marriage broke so many hearts with this plan of yours." Hera's smile disappears instantly.

"Jason..."

"With all due respect my lady, but I don't want to hear any excuses. The only thing I want to know is why did you leave him in my head? Why did you leave Nico's name and his presence in the memories I'd forgotten?"

Hera looks at him confused. "Jason I didn’t let him in your head." She rolls her eyes and huffs. "My original idea was for you to have your memories altered for the Aphodite's daughter and for Percy to have his memories altered for the praetor at Camp Jupiter. It was my chance to ruin the happiness of the two demigods I detest the most, Annabeth Chase and Nico di Angelo. But... I was doing it all alone, hidden, and in such a hurry... So whatever it was, you two managed not to let your memories be altered and remembered them."

Jason was too stunned to notice Aphrodite nearby until she giggled and Hera turned to her. "'Whatever it was' of course. Meddle in these matters and hurt my daughter... You have a lot more to worry about now than with Zeus."

Jason feels the fight coming in the air and leaves to join the others with his head spinning.

It wasn't Hera, it was him. All this time Jason was feeling weak and  vulnerable without his memories, but he wasn't weak. Jason managed to dodge a goddess messing with his mind.

Everyone gathered on the deck with Leo yelling for them to hold on tight. Jason saw his dad give the ship a slap. But Jason’s mind and heart were racing faster than the Argo II flying across europe and the Atlantic.

The Argo II arrives at the camp. The battle is insane on the ground and Leo yells for everyone to leave while the ship is on fire, Jason doesn't want to leave him but Leo tells him to go with Piper. None of them are happy to leave Leo behind but Jason grabs Piper and flies off into battle.

Here I don't even need to change the canon because, again, it was already very gay. "Jason’s heart lifted when he saw Nico di Angelo on the front lines with the Greeks, slashing his way through a crowd of two-headed men."

Jason goes down with Piper and Reyna goes to them and when Piper goes out with Reyna, Nico sees Jason and the world feels like slow motion. Nico runs towards him killing monsters along the way in a matter of seconds. Jason's heart will come out of his mouth, he's sure of it. All around him the world is ending and he can't seem to get rid the hum of his pounding pulse in his ear. Nico comes to him and Jason opens his mouth to say something— but Nico kisses him. Jason feels the heat of battle all around him, but it's nothing compared to his body on fire. A very loud thunder rumbles through the sky as Jason pulls Nico close to kiss him back "To storm or fire, the world must fall" and that was the storm. It had to be, because Jason felt he could decimate the world if he felt Nico's lips on his a second longer or if he pulled away.

Nico pulls back a few inches, breathing hard and his face is grimy from the battle.

"You're wearing glasses." Is the first thing he says and it makes Jason smile like an idiot.

"Nice shirt." Jason says and Nico smiles wryly as Jason remembers he loves to see.

Before they can have a conversation, battle calls out to them and they are attacked.

They pull back fighting the monsters. "Where are the others?" Nico asks.

"Everyone's here, just Leo..." Jason swipes at a monster that turns to dust and looks away at the sky. The ship is falling like a fireball.

"Shit." Nico says. "He'll survive, but just in case— for Leo!"

"For Leo!" Jason says and they find themselves fighting back to back against Gaia's army (this art has my heart already). And Jason's brain can assimilate his fight reflexes and still feel his lips tingling and Nico's taste in his mouth. At the same time that he is worried for his life and worried about his friends, Jason feels that his body is going to explode with happiness. The insane mixture of complex and intense feelings mixing like cosmic dust in a nebula getting so absurdly dense that it needs to become a star.

"Nico!" They listen and turn around. Will from cabin 7 is coming over there. He says something to Nico that Jason can't hear but Nico looks worried.

Nico nods to Will and turns to Jason. "I have to go." Jason is confused but nods. Nico pulls Jason down by his shirt and presses their lips together hard and fast. "Don't die." He says simply and Jason can't come up with anything smart enough to answer other than a simple,

"Yes sir."

Nico must have thought Jason is silly as usual, because he smiled and ran off in his red palm tree shirt.

The rest of the battle takes place as in the book. Octavian dies, Leo "dies". After it ends they are talking and Hazel tells them about Leo's plan. And Nico stay with Hazel that night because she's feeling guilty.

The next morning Jason shows up at Nico's door with his glasses crooked and messy hair, and here Nico reaches out and fixes his glasses. It's Nico's POV and he notices that Jason is clearly embarrassed and not knowing what to do.

"Hazel is still sleeping, can we go for a walk?" Jason nods and they walk off together slowly.

Jason asks how Nico felt about Leo's death and Nico says he felt as if he had died, but that he's not sure now. He feels that Leo did take the cure. Jason is all happy and goes to hug Nico but stops in the middle of the movement.

"Sorry, I don't…" he blushes and lowers his arms.

Nico frowns. "'You don't'... what?"

Jason puts his hands in the pockets of his sweatpants. "I don't know if what happened yesterday in the battle was just because of the battle or if—"

Nico can't help but laugh a little. He looks around and there aren't many people around. It will be a while before Nico is ok with public displays of affection— other than in the middle of a battlefield, ofc.

He approaches and hugs Jason by the neck looking him in the eyes, and Jason's blue eyes, just like when Nico kissed him in the middle of the fight, now again have an intensity like lightning stirring inside his irises. Jason relaxes around Nico's arms in the same second. Nico opens his mouth to speak but hears Will calling him. He and Jason look and Will is close by with his hands on his hips.

"You can date later di Angelo. After crossing a continent and an ocean with a statue the size of a building you will stay in the infirmary at least for today." Nico huffs and rolls his eyes. "You can bring a companion." Will jokes and chuckles.

Jason pulls back a little and takes Nico's hand uncertainly, but Nico intertwines their fingers and Jason smiles a little. "I'll see if I'm needed around the Camp and talk to Chiron about quests to search for Leo, but I'll have lunch with you in the infirmary ok?" Nico nods, wanting to tell Will to get out of there because he wants to stay with Jason, help in the camp and look for Leo, he doesn't want to be stuck in an infirmary all day. Jason gives Nico a lingering kiss on the forehead that makes him close his eyes. Jason pulls back a little. "See you later." Nico nods a little lost and Jason gives one of the most charming smiles Nico has ever seen on any boy and walks away a little, but a simple kiss on the forehead caused Nico to be stuck on the ground and unable to move. Jason turns around walking backwards. "Just to know, how do you feel about surprises?"

"Public, no. Quests, no. Just you and me, yes."

Jason gives the same smile, nods and leaves. Nico stands there watching him walk away and feeling his heart melt to the floor like it's standing on quicksand.

"Hello? Do you want me to wait here all day while you daydream?" Will says reminding Nico that he was still there.

Well, Solace was annoying but maybe one more friend for Nico's friends list that now included Reyna, Hazel, Jason, maybe Percy and the others from the prophecy, wouldn't be that bad... Yeah, Nico was going to open up to accepting these people in his life. After all, he didn't regret opening up to Jason or Reyna.

Nico spends the morning and afternoon at the infirmary and Jason shows up with a chocolate brownie smuggled from the dining pavilion, and tells Nico that Chiron has approved that after the camp is fine, they all get together to make groups to search for Leo (as it should have been, honestly Riordan...). A nurse appears to bandage the werewolf injurie that Nico has and Jason sees it. Nico explains the story a little embarrassed, but Jason says.

"If you turned into half wolf then we would both be half wolves." Which makes Nico laugh, and everyone around looks at the son of Hades finding it strange to see him like that, but he ignores them.

Nico snaps his shirt collar back into place. "It's a very ugly scar."

Jason turns his head and shows where the bullet hit him. "I got this one."

Nico looks at him in disbelief and speaks quietly. "As if it doesn't make you even more cute."

Jason shakes his head, his ears a little red. "There are others, not so 'cute'." He gets more serious. "Inside and outside."

Nico understands immediately and his eyes water a little. "Inside and outside." He echoes.

Jason looks at him warily, knowing full well that Nico has literally been to hell and back, not to mention everything else. "They won't go away, never. But we can learn to live with them as best we can."

Nico nods and wipes his eyes quickly. "Do you think it's possible?"

Jason looks at him with affection and certainty. "I'm sure."

At night Jason shows up to pick up Nico with a mischievous smile.

"Should I be scared?" Nico asks walking beside Jason but doesn't have the courage to take his hand with so many people walking around the camp, and Jason notices and doesn't try anything.

"You'll like it, I'm sure."

They reach cabin 1 and go to the back, where there is no one around. Jason approaches and his eyes seem to glow in the dark, the air suddenly feels heavy for Nico with Jason's close proximity.

"May I?" Jason asks quietly and puts his hands close to Nico's waist but doesn't touch him. Nico nods, focused on the eyes next to him watching him as if they can see his soul. In the next second Nico feels Jason's hands gripping his waist and his feet floating off the floor. Nico for a second thinks it's in his head because that's how he feels, but then he notices they're actually flying slowly and he gasps and wraps his arms around Jason's neck and feels Jason chuckle. "I got you." Jason says and gives Nico a kiss on the head.

They reach the ceiling and Nico feels Jason release him carefully. "We're here." Nico let go of him and look around. On the roof of the cabin there is a blue towel, some candles and some bowls with food. In front of the towel is a telescope.

"What...?" Nico tries to say.

Jason takes his hand and begins to guide him to the towel. "Remember that at Camp Jupiter you said you liked to see the stars and I took you to the field of Mars at night to show off teaching you the names of stars and constellations?"

Nico chuckles. "I'm surprised you remember."

They stop in front of the telescope. "While we were building the ship I remembered that day, and it was that memory that made me think we were dating, because I got confused with what was a memory and what was my imagination." Nico looks at him confused and Jason blushes a little, and intertwines his fingers with Nico's. "That was the day I realized I like you. And I realized that because as much as i love to look at the starts, I wanted to spend the whole night looking at you." Jason gets closer and runs a finger caressing Nico's cheek near his eyes, making his breath quicken. "Because they are my favorite night sky." Jason kisses Nico's eye lightly and Nico's brain feels numb. Jason pulls back just a little and with difficulty Nico opens his eyes and tries to focus again. “That's why I got this telescope for you. I wasn't sure who you were, or if I'd ever meet you again, if we were really together, or if you felt the same way about me. But I knew I wanted to show you all the stars you wanted to see."

Nico couldn't wait any longer, and kissed Jason with the calm that their first kiss didn't have. The calm of knowing everything was fine now, and they could finally be each other's without fear, without rushing, without anything but them. But even calmly, with every second, every time Jason's tongue met his with the care of feeling each other like they needed to memorize every taste, or every time Nico sighed between the kiss or felt Jason's warm breath on his cheeks, or Jason's fingers roaming up his back, over his face, into his hair, and Nico pulling Jason closer by his shirt as if it were possible to be closer—Nico's heart raced and was filled with a certainty. And that certainty made him pull away for a second from Jason, just enough to look into his eyes.

"I love you." Nico said and Jason seemed lost, looking from one of Nico's eyes to the other as if to make sure this was real and not a made-up memory. Nico held tightly to the back of his head and looked sure at his favorite morning sky that always had a calm rain that could turn into an unsettling storm at any second. "I love you Jason Grace. And I'm not sure of anything else in the world like I'm sure I love you with every cell in my body."

And Nico saw around Jason's head little blue rays crackle like pure energy, and Jason was breathing hard and unevenly. "I love you." He said it with as much certainty as he could put into his voice. "And all I want is to be in your life in the way and for as long as you want me to."

Nico could have a goddess messing with his memories, go to Tartarus and back, or go through a thousand more wars if he had to, because those words would stay in his mind as a fresh memory and let him know that whatever happens and wherever he is— he has a home to return to, and now he was this home for Jason too.

[vacantgodling]

🪄🪄🪄🪄

thank youuuu!!!

🪄 Aishite Aishite Aishite — Ado

Don’t get angry. / Don’t abandon me. / Don’t go anywhere. / (Hey)

starting with a vocaloid song of course we are lmao. there’s actually 2 ways you can read this song (that i’ve seen, though more than that exist im sure) — the first is more akin to the actual intent of the song which is talking more about and alluding to yandere undertones of obsessive love even if it doesn’t seem Real. the second and the one that i associate with dearest narcissus spokes from paramour/prim & provocative is a more Literal reading of certain aspects of the song. she’s terrified to be alone, she wants people to love her and think that she’s important, she doesn’t want people to abandon her—but to others outside her it seems like an attention grab or fake etc etc. but she means it she’s genuine she just doesn’t know how else to ask for love because no one’s ever really given it to her.

(she’s also arospec if that means anything either)

i really ADORE ado’s vocals in this song because it really captures the RANGE of emotions that narci is feeling. pleading, sweet, enraged, manipulative, sincere—it’s everything all at once. a lot of this energy is definitely directed at myrtus (her ex husband) at first, but it is genuinely how she feels about the world. she feels discarded and abandoned by it (and has been a bit) and she doesn’t know what she’s doing Wrong to make people never give her the time of day or love her.

🪄 MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT — Loveless

Just call on me, oh / Just call my name (just call my name) / Like you mean it

i’m a sucker for bridges. also this cover is so insanely good.

this entire cover is actually the beginning band sequence (after maverick quits the band) to my wip LuKEWARM ReJECTION — it represents the band’s best and most hard worked on song; maverick’s (the ex lead singer’s) magnum opus. it took them nearly a year to perfect it, and as di somberly thinks when they get up on stage for the battle of the bands with their new short notice fill in lead singer toph, there’s no way in fuck they’ll be able to pull this off. toph hadn’t even had time to practice. they get onstage, make their intros, and then they start off the chords for the song.

and toph just blows it out of the water.

his voice is better, stronger, more emotional, more star like than anything maverick has ever TOUCHED and as they roll through the whole set toph just knocks the pants off of everyone including the band! it should be a momentous moment but for di it’s so so SO bitter because he and maverick were dating and he not only left the band, he left di, and you just can’t get over that with the snap of your fingers.

but i LOOOOVE this song as an opening too bc toph deadass thinks these lyrics are so juvenile LMAO it’s the first fight he and di get into after the performance bc he disses the song and di still has emotions high so they start arguing. how dare you call my boyfriend my ex’s magnum opus garbage!!! and toph is all these lyrics were written by a washed up pop star wdym (which hits better for my imagination since the loveless version IS a cover lmao and for me personally, the lyrics aren’t hella compelling i moreso like the bridge for the singer bc his voice MAAAN it’s so good)

🪄 Better Than Me — Hinder

And I can't pretend / I won't think about you when I'm older / 'Cause we never really had our closure / This can't be the end

i have this song on so many playlists i’m literally INSANE about it. also once again the bridge makes me crazy.

i specifically think about this song when i think about amon and hya unsurprisingly but i also think about this song with graves and dove from the graves we dug. like GODDDDDDD the yearning, the pain that was caused, the struggle to accept that it’s over even if you don’t want it to be ???? like how am i supposed to be normal about this.

🪄Split — WILLOW

I'm always acting tough / Close my heart and now I starve the love / And no, I never wanted / I never wanted this for us

this whole album makes me crazy willow is so talented i love She.

i got this song on a couple of playlists but most recently i was thinking about this song in the context of betwixt thumb and forefinger and it really makes me think of sjaak. like he really doesn’t ask for 99.9% of the shit he’s going through and his reactions are horrible but understandable. the background sound and the vibes and the emphasis on the i never wanted this for us is literally him @ biscella and you can’t convince me otherwise.

the other person i’m thinking about with this song is arden from red death & the oracle’s favor, our favorite scorned prince. but instead of like sjaak and it be him talking to someone else, this song for him is more like him talking to himself. he never wanted this responsibility placed on his shoulders and he plays the part but it’s so hard to on some days — how does he survive? he doesn’t know.

[fuck-you-official]

fuck you dad. fuck you for everything. fuck you for ruining my life. fuck you for being such a good respectable man when we all knew who you were. especially me and you. the both of us know that that facade is faker than the love you pretended to have for both me and mom. you only cared about yourself, and when something bad did actually happen to you, when your mother died and you expected us all to coddle you. the rest of them might've cared, but I didn't. not after the trauma you gave me at such a young age, i couldn't even process it and whether it was a dream or if you knew i wouldn't be able to differentiate that memory if it was real or not. id say fuck you to my mom for never noticing, but i've forgiven her. unlike you, she had something to grow and change from. you could only abuse the ones you love and say nothing or even deny it. she accepted her mistakes and knew she did something wrong but we all know that even if you did that for once in your life, who would ever forgive someone, even less someone they were supposed to love and trust, for ruining me and defiling me, selling my body out just to get yourself kicking. god save my mothers gut-wrenched soul for the fact that you manipulated her into making her believe every slippery lie that fell off your tongue, every excuse that you came up for yourself, every pin and pointing finger you threw at me to blame me. i love my mother so dearly, the fact that you would get angry at her for your own faults and whine like a man baby when she called you out on it makes me want you to take a nice visit to the ninth circle of hell. the years its taken me (and still taking me) to recover from your abuse. i can't ask for help easily, i can't speak up about my interests or thoughts without thinking of how people might think, i can barely stand in the same room next to an older man around your age without wanting to cry or shutdown. my mom can't even bring a man shes been talking to into the house without me shutting myself away and wanting him to leave. i love reading, but god forbid i try to imagine the image of big, rough, course hands without thinking that they were yours. you made me begin to form insecurities at the age of 6. i thought i was so ugly and weird because thats what daddy told me. you sexualized me so much, i began to question whether that was normal for most families. i asked friends at school, essentially asking "hey guys, does your dad tell you you're chest is growing in so well already or is that just me" and they were fucking concerned, and i didn't know better so i thought they were just judgemental. i thought everyone wrestled with their dad and tickled eachother and even did a little gropin here and there, hell everyone knows that tradition! /s

it's been 3 years since i moved. im forgetting your face, but im also forgetting my stepbrothers faces too. they were the one thing i loved about living there, i miss them both, and the fact you ruined my life to where i can never see them again makes me realize how much of a selfish prick you are. i hope all the fat in your body doesn't add fuel for the flames of hell you'll burn in. I've far moved on from the chapter of my life that had you in it, but are you ever really able to move on from an imprinted image in your mind that haunts you occasionally, reminding you why you're like this, telling you that you're the reason for both the cause and effect of your trauma? not really. when court decides to get off their ass and actually plan the court date for your charges, I will be there. and I'll be the last, sweet image you see before your soap dropping, bitch boy days in a cell. and when you die, ill cremate you so i can roll you into a joint and smoke you.

sincerely, the kid you never bothered to respect.

p.s wait till you find out how nicely they treat child predators in jail.

.

[allaglow]

I have so many thoughts on Cinderella today...I’d love to know yours! Some are below, but I’m apt to have more if you’d like to strike up a ball in our IM’s 🤍🤍🤍

Writing within the universe of Cinderella is such a fascinating balance to try and peg. On one hand, it’s so lifelike- Cinderella has one of the realistic body types of any of the princesses, most of the animation was done through rotoscoping, the depiction of the very real ramifications of the Tremaines squandering the family inheritance and the disrepair of the chateau, you can definitely feel the weight of her story in a very personal way and her struggles are so familiar to us...but on the other hand, there are talking mice and pumpkin carriages and, in this version, it’s specified that her name was always Cinderella- this was even consistent in the novelizations Disney released in conjunction with the original premiere, and they made sure to always explain it as having to do with Cinderella coming from “the magical land of make-believe.” So, on one hand, you do want to humanize the characters and explain everything in a plausible way, but you also have to keep the enchantment of the atmosphere and the magic. It’s endlessly intriguing to me because, even in the film, there are multiple times when it becomes meta. Cinderella’s, “Oh, then you must be my Fairy Godmother!” and the way the Duke continually points out to the King how slim the possibility is of love at first sight and how that really only exists in the fairytales...and this is a fairytale! Perhaps it’s a commentary of how much magic is around us, in our own world, and how we discount it because we choose to be world-weary and pessimistic and intentionally unromantic skeptics in the name of “intellectualism.” After all, just as the Duke is pretending to have the intellectual upper hand and laugh in the face of romance, Cinderella and her Prince are beginning to court right underneath the royal balcony.

I’m just getting so misty-eyed thinking of how close Cinderella had been with her Father and how she personally, even as a little girl, made sure to accommodate all the preparations for his long journeys for business and whatnot. Also, I think she was able to form so many connections and bonds with the house-staff that they did have, and I think she was able to reenact that, to a certain point, with the mice later on.

The fact that Cinderella was so competent, like with being the one to oversee any preparations for her Father’s journeys and business travels, must’ve really struck a nerve with her Stepmother. The complex thing about Lady Tremaine is that she’s so highly intelligent and she is able to manipulate in a way that’s unparalleled and generally holds her own in mind games, and through this she was definitely able to attain a higher standard of life and achieve more than she ever would’ve otherwise...but in terms of hard skills that would make her employable or just make her someone who actually knows how to do things, Lady Tremaine falls short. She has no actual skill in this extent, and her entire childhood was spent digesting messages of “this is too much, reel it back” or “this is too little, amp it up.” She essentially only knows how to play to her audience and she’s able to use her resources to get the most she possibly can, but she’ll always be dependent on others. The fact that Cinderella is capable of overseeing so many things, even at such a young age, and generally being someone who seems like they could fend for themselves, must’ve been one of the first things to make Cinderella a target. I think when it comes to the preparations, especially- Cinderella was the only one who could’ve done those things, as it was just her and her Father prior to the Tremaines, but Lady Tremaine still viewed it as her second husband’s daughter occupying a space that should’ve been hers. She played on this though- smiling coyly and saying, since little Cinderella was so specialized in this, perhaps she’d be able to help with other areas in the house. I wonder when the firing of the house-staff happened- because I’m not entirely sure it would’ve been before or after the Father’s death. I honestly could see an instance in which the Tremaines fired them and told the Father it was because he would now have three more women to dress and feed and, besides, Cinderella could backfill all those various positions. She thought she’d burn her stepdaughter out, but it only made Cinderella more and more resilient and independent as is often the case when you try to inflict hardship upon someone. 

[always-andromeda]

um. so. ive been thinking over my past relationship, and i dont know if im in the wrong for hating my ex or not? like. he wasnt very affectionate, which is just how some people are, i guess.

but the only way he tried to be at least slightly affectionate was by talking about sex, A LOT. like, every single day. like, sure, he could be sweet, but that was only in the beginning of our relationship. later on, he just. stopped being loving in any other way aside from sex.

all he complimented me on was my looks. he said he liked my personality, but then ended up saying i was unfunny and insufferable later on. i dont know if they were jokes or not, is the problem.

but heres the thing that pisses me off the most. he pretended like he was gonna break up with me, knowing it was one of my worst fears, as a joke. he said something along the lines of "i prank you once and you suddenly act like im the worst person in the world." like. we had taken a break from our relationship only a couple months prior to this, and it took a fucking TOLL on my mental health. he knew this. and yet he pretended he was leaving me anyway.

and then he actually broke up with me like. a few weeks later i believe. and he completely ignored me after that. i didnt get any comfort, besides one single "im sorry".

im just wondering if im in the right for hating him, because he was just clearly unhappy in our relationship near the end, and the feeling was mutual. and maybe him being unaffectionate was just his personality and he had a hard time showing love. i dont know. sorry this was so lengthy ack

Okay, so sorry this took me a hot second to reply to Ethan!! I really wanted to offer up like my full attention to really answering this in a meaningful way. Because just reading through this reminded me so much of the situation-ship that I was in when I was a teenager. Sadly, I think a lot of us are prone to falling into these kind of relationships when we're young and don't really have much experience with romance or any other kind of intimacy and it's a real tragedy.

TW for descriptions of emotional abuse, gaslighting, manipulation, and mentions of sexual harassment below the cut because whoo boy this is gonna be a long one.

In my situation, the guy completely drained me of everything. He would encourage me to vent every single feeling and thought I possibly could. But as soon as I took it to heart and dared to talk about my day or something that was bothering me, he'd go, "Did I ask?" or "Didn't ask."

And that doesn't even scratch the surface of the sexual shit. The guy had a girlfriend who didn't really know anything about sex. So he'd make sexual jokes to her and make me explain their meaning to her, knowing full well that I had feelings for him. Then he'd turn around and make jokes and conversation about my own sexuality. Like as soon as he figured out the daddy issues thing, he went nuts with it. He immediately used sex and my insecurities to deliberately fluster me and make me uncomfortable because he knew it would only make me cling closer to him.

I went through almost three years of him upping the ante on his bullshit to the point where I was completely codependent on him. And even now, close to three years removed, I'm still unlearning some of the shit he instilled in me.

I don't think it's wrong of you to hate him exactly? Like there's often this narrative that gets pushed on victims to "forgive and forget." And for some, that may be beneficial in order to obtain peace of mind. But that isn't a one size fits all solution. Sometimes things just haunt us and we learn to live with it. Which might sound terrible un-motivating. And sometimes it is! Because there's a lot of work required for untangling these situations and trying to find something of value in them. Because they shouldn't have happened in the first place. But they did. It isn't fair that it happened, but it did, and I don't think you're a bad person for not being able to just swallow that.

I myself can never forgive the guy who fucked me over, mostly because he didn't just do it to me; he also did it to one of my best friends. And for her sake, that anger and defensiveness flares up and in a strange way, it allows me to process my own feelings. Because if I don't think she deserved that treatment, surely I should be able to muster up that same love for myself? Perhaps I should be able to advocate for myself with the same, fervent kind of love.

Because people who do that kind of shit–people who deliberately hurt you over and over again–they do it because they want to put you in a cycle where they can say and do whatever they want, all while knowing completely that you'll go right back to them for that validation. In my experience, it's those folks that are so sad and so ridden with insecurity and dysfunction that they derive enjoyment from doing this to people. And I'm not talking about people who maybe suddenly blow up before realizing their mistake and apologizing. I'm talking about people who take joy in hurting you. Those are people who will always feed on your sympathy and your willingness to see the good.

Whenever I found myself trying to humanize my abuser after everything, I started reminding myself that no matter what low point I've been in...I have never done the things he did. Sure, I may have been more short with people or a little less thoughtful and isolated myself. But I never once made that my excuse to deliberately and repeatedly hurt the people who love me with no remorse. So, no, I don't think it's unreasonable to hold to negative feelings over him. There's no one size fits all prescription for navigating these situations. It's all about what we can live with. For me, I can live with knowing that if I ever saw my abuser again, I probably wouldn't throw hands exactly, but I most definitely wouldn't be smiling and singing Kumbaya with that fucker.

However your brain and your heart chooses to receive that experience is completely up to you. Because at the end of the day, it is your experience. And you tell yourself and do whatever you need to in order to live with it. I love you, Ethan. Please please please be gentle and kind with yourself, bud.

[sehodreamsthoughts]

omg okay i’m all over the place baby but i was helping a customer tn and he was being nice (most of our customers are horrible people) and when he left he called me ‘dear’ and because my brain is broken i immediately thought that’s so eunseok, fuma, kun coded pls🤭🤭 idk i was blushing hehe i hate when men talk to me normally but i just thought i was kinda cute cuz it sounded sincere<3

but ummmmm loser incel mark.. like.. running a podcast for like sigma males lmfaooo but maybe he does it under the guise of it being a dialogue on being a man.. on feminism, if u know what i mean? like he’s like im just talking about it type of shit like oh he’s such a deep thinker🤕🤕 so he gets a lot of girls that way,,, and i imagine he runs this podcast directly with or with collaboration from jaehyun, jungwoo, haechan, jeno.. type of idols.. i can also imagine idols from other groups to but hear me out !!!!

so they probably wouldn’t advertise this.. but they’d probably make some type of bet on how many girls mark could bed using sigma male methods or smth stupid like that, basically just how many girls can he fuck in like a week or smth… and that’s kind of where i get lost.. but we’ve got some choices. a) innocent, virgin!reader who falls into his trap, b) reader who is known for being easy but she doesn’t fall for his stupid tactics… at least at first or.. a secret third thing idk yet i’m not being very creative

- 🥟 anon

Oh I know that feeling 😭🩷 I'm happy that at least you had nice customer today honey!!

Okay that podcast sounds like something funny tho, I honestly have no idea what sigma males are, but I can see them all with glasses trying to pretend they're intellectuals about real gender equity, disguising all their dumb thoughts with a nice voice that gets them a public just because they sound hot and are slightly eloquent (on podcasts) but everything they say it's pure bullshit 😭

I like your options but of course those two would have different results, a)reader would sadly be manipulated by incel!mark, he'd gaslight her so bad into thinking everything he does it's actually normal, or that she's exaggerating all the time, like why do you need to see my phone? She's just a team member, and you've met her so many times, how could you distrust your own sex? Making her think oh yeah maybe I'm exaggerating when SHE'S NOT. He'd push her limits a lot too, all the time with that pretty face, pushing back his glasses between kisses telling her to lift her skirt for him, and if she says she's not sure, he'd be like Don't you trust me? Me? The one who's always been there for you? The one who holds your hand when you feel sad, the one who helps you when you have problems and the one who gives you everything?

He's a total manipulator 😭, he'd never make her pay half the bill only because he wants her in exchange. Oh, and he probably would convince her that she's dumb too when she's having a hard time in school, and that if it wasn't for him, she would be nothing.

In case of b)reader I think he'd be so awkward all the time, trying to show off his knowledge in different topics but reader immediately recognizing what he's trying to do, the obvious mansplaining, his always condescending tone, even how he has a slight tic on the eye and his hands can't never stay still when he talks, how easily he loses his composure and he's simply so fucking pathetic that she can't help but find him funny, so she keeps acting dumb only to see what else is he doing next, a date in which he tells her that she should pay her part and not being able to follow even the shallowest topic she brings to not let the silence become as uncomfortable as him.

I have no idea how the third reader could be, but maybe she just met him on tinder hoping to have a great date and seeing everything go TO HELL while being with him in person, not wanting to go to his house but only accepting because she's too fucking horny and wants some dick, and the sex would be lame as fuck at first but then it'd become aggressive from both of them, she scratching him hard and he using a bit too much strength while choking her, it'd be hate sex to the max 😭

[themainroboot]

Vent cos apparently that's all I use tumblr for anymore. Tw for pretty much everything

Also this is gonna be a long one

What the f u c k is wrong with me. Everything about me is just so-

For one thing I'm a shitty selfish person. I literally have no good qualities- no matter how hard I think about it. Nothings good about me. And yet I have a bunch of shitty qualities. My "good" qualities aren't actually me. Im "silly" and "funny" because people used to hate me because autism made me "boring" (all I ever wanted to do was talk about planes and shit aidjrjorfk) so I almost subconciously MADE myself crazy and odd like I am just so people don't abandon me anymore. I was like 4 years old. I can't even control it anymore. And yet all my bad qualities- lazy, selfish, toxic, manipulative, anxious, temperamental, abusive, gross. Those are all me.

My body is also the most disgusting thing ever- in every sense of the word. I barely ever shower because I can't bare to see myself naked because gender and also trauma. Speaking of that, fuck my body. I'm so fucking curvy and everything is just so- it's basically the most socially "desirable" female body ever (minus the fact I'm a fat bitch), so. Why do I hate it. Because I'm just so fucking selfish. I'm a spoilt piece of shit. Nothings ever fucking good enough for me. I have what a NORMAL person would want, and yet I would give fucking everything to trade it for even the LEAST "desirable" male body. Why can't I just keep pretending to be a girl. It worked for 14 years. 14 years of pushing myself to be the most "girly" thing possible (like wearing dresses everywhere and shit) because "that's what will make me feel like a girl" and wondering why it just made me feel worse. Maybe I should just grow my hair out again, the one thing I've ever been able to do for myself, and just keep pretending. Sure I'd want to die the entire time, but I at least owe it to my mother. I've hurt her enough. I'm a horrible toxic shitty person. I abuse her. I do nothing but make her hurt, cry, and I gave her terminally high blood preassure from stress. She could have a stroke and die any moment. Because of me. She always wanted a DAUGHTER, not a son. I'm so shitty. I can't even do that for her. I'm the worst child in the world.

In fact I'm so selfish I can't even look at my fucking boyfriends tumblr reblogs (and now intro) without being reminded of even MORE fucking trauma that I didnt even fucking remember and fucking great now I'm collecting triggers like fucking pronouns because I'm just so fucking selfish.

Doesn't help that I scratched my arm so hard it fucking looks like 3rd degree burns. It's actually gross how bad it is you can even see lumps of fat coming out of it. All because of my pathetically dumb and selfish mental breakdowns. I'm the most shitty person in the world.

I feel disgusting for even posting these vents cos I just worry and hurt people who care about me but I can't fuckung shut up so what the fuck do I even do anymore.

Sorry it was so long. I want to die again yay.

(I promise I won't actually attempt I just really want to fucking die in my sleep or something)

[ocean-anchored]

I’ve been dreading writing this post. A couple hours ago when this all unfolded and I was in the heat of my anger, I felt like I could write a whole story. As the hours went on, my mind has been overwhelmed more and more. I feel like I can’t put into words my frustration. My anger. I’m at a loss for words how to mentally even grasp how you could be such a manipulative asshole.  Did you seriously not think that Meliss & I were going to talk? Like it shocks me how you could be SO SNEAKY and so insanely smart to play us against each other and lie to both of us about each other but then you’re literally the dumbest person on earth to not actually think we’re going to put our stories together and create the timeline of the real truth. Honestly I think out of everything I just want to know your intentions. I’m absolutely stunned. I literally cannot understand how or why you would do such a thing, like for what? Was this all to make me jealous?? Was this all a ploy in hopes to win be back? Like what did you literally think was going to happen? You were going to have an amazing close night with my sister and then tell me you guys were best friends so we should just pick up where we left off? Or were you also going to be so sly and play us against each other again and try to make me jealous and pretend something happened to get a rise out of me? Like I’m literally astonished. How in anyone’s right mind thinks there’s nothing wrong with persistently pushing to make plans with your EX GIRLFRIENDS SISTER who is her best friend. What did you want from this? How is it even appropriate to push her to come over and insist that she stays the night. Again, what on earth did you think was going to happen? To find out from Meliss that you not once even mentioned that you wanted me there, yet tell ME that the only reason I wasn’t invited was because we “weren’t talking” at that very moment and that you wanted to invite me and tell me that your whole plan was to invite me all along. Lies. To tell me that SHE was the one that pushed and wanted these plans and you just said “sure” and went along with it for me to find out from her that you PERSISTED to continuously ask her when she’s coming over and forced these plans yourself. Lies. To tell me that you were so busy and barley had time on your phone the weekend before in BC, while she tells me that you were texting her non-fucking-stop till 11pm every night all while then later GETTING MAD AT ME THAT YOU DIDNT RESPOND TO ME AND THAT I DIDNT REACH OUT. Lies. To tell me that IM the one who has a problem and that I shouldn’t be having an issue with you two hanging out all while you are lying your fucking face off to both of us about each other. Lies. To tell me and to get mad at me that IM not being honest EVEN THOUGH I have been the one being vulnerable and YOU’VE been the one so damn cold and emotionless, to tell me that I need to be honest with you and open and communicate and that I need to tell you if IM seeing anyone and that I should TRUST YOU to be able to tell you, all while you’re telling her you’re seeing other people and lying to me about it and being secretive. Lies. You are the most two-faced person I’ve met since my dad. Your actions and the shit you have pulled in the last three weeks, you are my dad. You are a manipulative, gaslighting, mirroring, bullshitting, sneaky fucker and I can’t believe I ever trusted you. I will never trust you again. I will never be open with you again. The way you flipped everything on me the last few weeks when you had zero intention to ever tell me you made plans (all built on lies of course) with my own sister, you’re the sneakiest piece of shit and I want to hate you so bad. Fuck you and you’re pretend caring heart. I don’t believe anything you said from day one. I want to believe you cared but with how you’ve acted, lied and have made ME out to be the crazy one, you make me sick. I have literally been full of anger for two days and it only keeps growing and growing. You don’t deserve me as a friend and you never will have me as a friend again. I’m fucking over your pathetic shit. I’m over your immature, sneaky games. I sure as shit hope these girls your seeing can see through your fucking shit or you are going to ruin more women. I’m sorry that I was the best thing that ever happened to you but now I don’t care. I felt real shitty for everything, my friendship with you was partly out of guilt of how things happened. I had every reason because you unfortunately weren’t any sort of boyfriend, I was just an added item to your life that you hid from your family and now I don’t believe anything you’ve ever said. From the start I noticed red flags but your words were so damn good. You knew exactly what to say. You knew exactly what would make me fall for you and yet your actions NEVER added up. Ever. You always had an excuse for every thing I brought up and I wanted to bad to believe you and I did but man, now that I look back at everything, I dodged a fucking bullet. Now that your true character is coming out. Holy shit man. For you to tell me that me breaking up with you was what pushed you closer to God and to search for him and to make him your priority, how you’re going to church and focusing on yourself. That’s fucking shit to say when your character comes through that you’re a fucking lying, manipulative sly person. Shame on you. I hope you don’t damage another woman, especially because you shouldn’t be dating. No matter the fact of you being single for so long, now I understand why. If this is how you treat people, your so called friends, and have the audacity to tell me that you’ve never been so open, honest and real with anyone ever in your life except me, I feel sorry for you. I truly feel so sorry for the women you’re seeking out right now because they’re just rebounds and one day they might realize that but if you continue to use people and play games, you are going to be alone as you feel that you are. I don’t get how you think playing these games and being deceitful is right, especially someone that’s longing to build their relationship with God. I’m sorry but where is God in your life. How can you sit there and tell me that these church messages are moving you and you’re really investing in building your faith while you completely lie, deceive and manipulate me and my sister, thinking you can play us against each other. It’s so sad. My anger and been overcome with sadness for you. That you’re so immature and so broken that you think playing these games is going to win over a friendship. You’re going to have a rude awakening.  I really don’t want to say that this has destroyed my hope in finding a future partner. I honestly thought you were incredible. I truly thought you had the most golden heart I’ve ever met and now I don’t believe a single thing you ever said. You broke me. Not forever, but for right now you have broken me so deeply. You’re just another reason that I just can’t trust anyone. I used to be so naïve and give people my trust up front until they prove to me that they can’t be trusted and then they would loose it. Funny how that’s changed over the years and now someone’s got to prove to me that they’re worth getting any ounce of my trust.  I’ve got nothing else to say to you anymore but I will pray for you. I will pray that you open your eyes one day to realize all the destruction you’ve cause and how these character traits aren’t the good ones to have in relationships.   Have a nice life.

[aquaticdino]

Sometimes I wish I could pour my heart out to the people I'm suppose to be close to, and tell them all the things I've either kept inside or written in my journal in the dark hours of the night. But then I catch myself and I remember that will never be possible for me, because the people I'm suppose to be close to never had my best interest in mind or care about what I have to say staying between us. Things said in confident are revealed in the light of day and it's as though I am standing naked on a stage for their viewing pleasure.