#i dont want to sound like a beggar

[grollow]

personal under the cut

I've been without a job.

For almost a year.

I had one for like a month and it didn't work out.

Ive applied to over 500 jobs and I've gotten under 10 interviews. I'm so bad at them.

It's so hard and demoralizing to feel like there's something wrong with me. Like I'm too old to get a proper job, like my skills are too niche. Unattractive physically and I am female-presenting and I know that is getting counted against me because HR is awful.

I can't get past my depression to work on commissions properly (thank you to the people I owe them I swear I havent forgotten you, I'm closed for a reason) and I feel like I'm slowly drowning.

Genuinely I don't know what to do anymore. I try and try and try and it's just oppressive.

Lies face down on the floor.

[demonbarberofbeepbeep]

I saw Sweeney with Aaron Tveit and Sutton Foster on Sunday :3 BRAIN DUMP  WITH SPECIFIC PRODUCTION DETAILS AHEAD. DONT READ IF YOU DONT WANT TO SPOILED ON CERTAIN ACTING CHOICES THEY MAKE

First, Sutton, my surprise fav: 

Now, I had heard the Worst Pies leak from her, and I was worried. But I actually ended up loving her Nellie Lovett. 

The former cast had a younger, pretty blonde soprano style Mrs Lovett. Sutton was a little bit of a return to the classic Mrs. Lovett dynamic - an older, scatterbrained woman. Not as openly seductive and feminine as Annaleigh, but very funny and affable.  She was less sensuous, older, more desperate. Kind of a Katherine Hepburn physicality, long and slender flailing limbs. Goofy but an intense undercurrent of loneliness. She had a very gangly and bumbling physicality to her. She was taller  than Sweeney (in her heels) and that affected their dynamic in interesting ways - when she was coming on to him, it almost felt like she was trying to grapple him sometimes. She did some very funny new bits. In her entrance to Worst Pies In London, she had a carrot and she was biting pieces off it and spitting it out into the pie crust. It was a hilarious gag.  People were surprised at how wobbly her delivery was on the first night - well, it was like that on the third night too! It was pretty funny. She was obviously doing it on purpose. 

She slid off his lap in By The Sea and put her feet in his face and then started rubbing his chest and taking off his suspenders with her toes. She got a lot of mileage out of flailing her limbs in a humorous fashion. I think her comedic chops really shined here and in Little Priest.

I think her darkness was more on view here too - she had a truly evil look when she embraced Toby at the end of Not While I’m Around. And she had an interesting moment of cruelty with the Beggar Woman - when they had their confrontation, she seemed to grasp her chin or pull her hair or something in a way that caused her pain. It seemed like she was right on the edge, and totally desperate, with claws at the ready.

I have really mixed feelings about Aaron’s Sweeney. There were some things I liked about him. He does a good scowl, and when he burst onto the scene, lit from above, his eyes cast into shadow  - I felt like we were in for a convincingly demented and dark take. But unfortunately, he did not keep the intensity up the whole time. Part of this is, I think, out of his control - he’s just a very handsome and small-framed man, and he didn’t look either intimidating and beefy, like Nicholas Christopher, nor convincingly beaten down and sad eyed, like Josh Groban. I think he tried to play a more open-to-Lovett Sweeney, but once he let up the scowling and hate, I just felt like there wasn’t enough negative affect to him left. Beard or no beard, his look just screams “handsome prince“ or  “elf” or something.

The real thing I struggled with was his voice. Now, he’s obviously an amazing talent and an incredible singer, and I did enjoy seeing him. How could I not? It’s Enjolras from the Les Mis movie! So cool! But having a tenor in this role is just kinda wrong. There were moments where we needed Sweeney’s baleful booming voice to really resonate and he just didn’t deliver - in the ominous duet with Turpin, or in the crowd scene where he’s heckling Pirelli - he sounded high, weak, and reedy. There wasn’t enough power. And I know he has a beautiful voice, but having him as Sweeney didn’t really let him use it to its full advantage. Sure, he can soar into high octaves, but what good does that do us when he’s just hitting the lower notes in a nothing-special register rather than a deep rich boom? It didn’t really portray Sweeney’s madness or darkness. It’s just wasn’t right for the character.

He did make some interesting and unique choices for the character. Some things I noticed and liked: he often grabbed his chest or heart, as if in pain. He was very nimble and scrambled and leaped around the stage. This is a “quick and quiet and clean ‘e was” style Sweeney. So, to make up for the lack of deep ominous voice, I expect him to really amp up the madness. And he gave some good crazy acting for Epiphany. What he really is good at is scowling, barking laughter, scampering around. But his acting job was uneven.  His Benjamin Barker reveal, rather than being brutal, was a little bit strange - he was across the room and then ran at the judge to slash his throat. I felt very let down by the final sequence. I expected some chewing-the-scenery style screaming and moaning. He didn’t scream or cry, just kind of grimaced. “Oh no… Lucy…” Honestly, it wasn’t as sad and melodramatic from anyone as I wanted it to be.  He laughed when Toby came to kill him, which was kind of cool, but also contributed to the weird lightness of his take.

Their chemistry - they were playing it to be more fond of each other. They had moments of chemistry and acknowledging each other right out of the gate. He was surprisingly game about eating the pie, almost trying to make her feel better about it or something. Later, when he grasped her arms and asked about his wife, it seemed like there was already a spark of mutual feeling or something. This is a nicer Todd than I’ve seen. He was also pretty indulgent to her in By The Sea, grasping her knee reassuringly when he said he loved her. They did not have the crazy ass chemistry that Josh and Annaleigh had by the end of their run, which is perhaps to be expected. Again, I liked how friendly they were with each other. It worked well for Sutton’s take on Mrs. Lovett. We got to see how she jumped hungrily at any scrap of kindness he tossed her. But along with his light voice and handsome tiny man vibe, it served to make him even less menacing and foreboding, which he already didn’t have enough of IMO. So, mixed bag. 

Other notes from the night: 

Delaney was on as Johanna! She was awesome, a very fleshed out version. You could tell she had done it before. She had a lot of funny intonations in Green Finch and Linnet Bird, really pausing to consider what the birds might be doing.  “Are you discussing? 😑 Or fussing? 😩Or merely dreaming? 🙂 Are you crowing? 😧 Are you SCREAMING?? 😰”

One interesting live theater moment: In the scene where she’s trying to escape Sweeney’s parlor, I think she smashed her face getting out of the box. Her hat was off and she was holding a cloth in front of her face for some reason until she left the shop. It looked like she was bloodied, but she played it off well. I hope she’s okay! 

Joe Locke as Toby -  he had a beautiful voice, very sweet sweet younger style Toby. Much like Aaron, IMO, he did not get crazy enough with it at the end. But beautiful voice and heartbreakingly vulnerable. There were a few new cast members who were good, didn’t get their names, but I liked ‘em!

[hugh-lauries-bald-spot]

Hate to be that bird, dreadful business really, but would you be comfortable to share your opinion on who does what during the good old horizontal waltz in the Jooster bedchambers?

Oh YES id be more than comfortable, i have Thoughts!!

I think, for the most part, jeeves tops and hes VERY good at it. Hes fast, hes powerful, hes a little shit who can edge to save a life, hes got stamina aplently. Hes an absolute BEAST.

Bertie will always be a bottom to me, hes vocal, hes verbal, hes a beggar, and asker and a demander. I think they (sorry how bad this is gonna sound) fit together very well in that respect. Jeeves likes that desperate side of bertie, that hopeless need. But he insists on good manners from his master, and bertie is happy to oblige. Bertie gets off on being jeeves'

That being said, bertie can also be dominant, jeeves is pleased to serve his master and does it with velvet lips and devilishly talented fingers

Bertie is also an absolute madman, hes riding that thing like his whole life depends on it. He knows how to move his hips to please em both.

And youll note i said "for the most part" when it comes to jeeves topping, because i think, after a long day of doing everything for everyone, sometimes he just wants to be pleasured, and what i think Little Wooster might lack in width he makes up for in speed and a curve. Besides, jeeves sitting on him, pink cheeked and relaxed is enough to send any man into a frenzy.

I dont think, however, that bertie has the same stamina when it comes to topping, so its a bit of a one and done afair most of the time.

Bertie is also a fiend at sucking dick, total blowjob queen, absolutely loves tasting all of his man, feeling him on his tongue, and jeeves loves the absolutely debaucherous, unfeudal feeling of shooting a load in berties mouth and watching him swallow (same is true of the reverse, the keyword there is full service)

All that to say is that in every way that jeeves is careful, calculated and precise in these matters, bertie is wild, needing, and determined

Id have to get into their kinks in a whole other post i think so feel free to ask for part 2

[chucklepea-hotpot]

Hey! Came upon your blog cause you liked my Andrew VdK posts (thank u btw!!)! You seem to be a german speaker and i'm trying to practice my german. would you have any good german language tv show reccs that i could watch (with subtitles)? Also not to sound needy cause beggars can't be choosers or whatever but i tend to watch more lighthearted/teen drama type stuff than really heavy serious adult dramas but this is not a hard rule!! please ignore this if it's annoying! have a super nice day!!

Thank you for posting the Andrew content, I'm so happy to see him, my poor littlw meow meow <3

If you like lighthearted German (teen) dramas, then, oh boy!, I have just the thing for you:

"Türkisch für Anfänger" (teen soap about a German-Turkish patchwork family, it's silly and hilarious and soooo dramatic)

"Schloss Einstein" (still running today show about kids at a German boarding school, literally has the best intro in the world)

"Die Pfefferkörner" (has also been running for generations, it's about a gang of children detectives investigating im Hamburg, also has the best intro in the whole world)

"Doctor's Diary" (Grey's Anatomy but far worse. It's a trainwreck, if you liked desperate housewives you’re gonna love this one)

"Berlin Berlin" (never watched that one personally, but it's about a young woman living in Berlin in her 20s trying to figure out her life)

"Die Wilden Hühner" movies (my personal faves growing up though i prefrr the books; about a group of teen girls who have an old trailer as a group headquarter and chicken in the garden, literally what more do you want 😌)

"Französisch für Anfänger" (i remember so little from this movie but that it's about a boy who cant speak a whim French going on a France exchange to get with a girl. very stupid, very funny, hell of a music track)

"Die Vampirschwestern" movies (literally what it says on the tin, half-vampire sisters trying to figure out teen life, find friends and occasionally fight evil forces. normal stuff, you know)

"Hanni & Nanni" movies (a set of twin girls who get send to boarding school and being very pissed about it until... well, they're not anymore :) there is also an anime, as far as I know it's on youtube, it's so sweet!)

"Heidi" (show out of all shows, isao takahata and hayao miyasaki we're both part in creating it, fuck yeah. story about an orphaned girl who is brought to the alps to live with her grandfather and i dont know how to describe it any further? it's a beautiful heartwearming story with gorgeously animated landscapes. also baby goats.)

I hope some of these work for you and feel free to ask for other shows. I actually don't know if all of them are accessible outside of Germany, but I'm just hoping for the best 🥲

[gwaaaaar]

So, remember that long ass post i made abt noah thy creature characterization bc i was ill. Here to back up on my claims btw. Spoilers below, this is info i gathered from regis altares stream as i cannot play the game </3

I... i kind of miss early access thy creature. The story and the flow was just, so much more natural and endearing and calm. Like you had time to savor the residents and get to know them. There wasn't a rush. This isn't to say the new version is bad, I just enjoyed the early access much more. Specifically the introduction. The way Noah is introduced first makes him feel more personal to the creature. In the final version you meet Noah, El and Justine all together. And oh my god El.

Where do I begin. He is not a bad character, on the contrary I think hes ok. But it feels as if he took Noahs more positive traits like the kindness and selflessness. And he feels ever so slightly shoehorned in, BUT he does have an important role. Afaik he is the nepe of madness, mazm spoiled that in like previous material and shit like im assuming its supposed to be a surprise but its so obvious theyre related. But to a newcomer it would be a surprise so i wont riff on mazm too much.

So yeah we meet El in the beginning as opposed to later on. This is important because madness is the third floor boss, if they wanted the twist with El to hit, the player would have to know him since the beginning. Since early access didnt have El then, they'd have to change up the approach.

Tbh how I'd write the new version would be keeping the EA plot, BUT, introduce El in the beginning with Noah, and also develop their interpersonal relationship because it seems Noah does trust El. It would be good to develop a reason why he trusts El and also El can convince him to help the creature. It would hopefully keep the same effect as the final version where you still get to meet El in the beginning.

While we are at change, Noah feels ever so slightly flanderized from early access, its hilarious. HE LITERALLY MAKES CASH REGISTER NOISES THATS HIS SFX!!!! Its so funny it makes me laugh, mori calliopes mickey voice for him is priceless. BUT, in a story sense, flanderization is kinda, not good. Its not good to reduce characters to a singular trait as that is how they become one dimensional.

However, I am making these assumptions based on the 3 hours of gameplay i have seen, and I am not saying this is Noah in entirety. For all i know he may get development and grow as a character. I applaud mazm for their characters as that is what they mainly focus on when it comes to writing. They want memorable characters, I just dont think flanderization is the way to go.

Noah in the new version is a man that lives by the sigma grindset. He cracks a lot more mortician jokes which is rlly funny that can stay. There is also a flyer for a "evans funeral service" which gives a two in one coffin deal, sounds familiar doesnt it? If Noah's last name is "Evans" then thats a pretty clever way of revealing that. But hes far more transactional and light hearted compared to previous Noah who could be an absolute edgelord if he wanted to.

EA Noahs lines about beggars asking for free services and his more dry sarcasm conveyed a more adult vibe to him. Hes like 33 hes seen some shit. Thats not old but more like enough time for him to be thoroughly unamused by the world. His tired lines reveal just how little faith he has in anyone but himself and certain people. But then you get his memories, you see that sweeter side to him, and he gets more lighthearted and a friend to the creature. He makes jokes with the creature, he teaches it about life and new words, all sorta fun stuff.

Hes still using it, hes 100 transparent about it and he apologizes for lying to the creature about going up the tower. However, the friendship it builds with the creature feels more personal, more earned. He helped the creature not because of someone elses interference (El in the new version), but out of his own will, even if there was financial intent behind it. He was the one that tried breaking down the door and failed. He had far more of an independent role and felt like a character, not azul ashengrotto 2.0. I have joked abt Noah being an MLM salesman but I did not expect this.

When Noah got his memories back in EA, he had a strong reaction to them, and you got to learn just a bit more about him, adding depth to his character. In the new version it doesn't really feel like you're getting anything new from it. Sure the meat is in the memories, but I think the character's reactions to those memories also matters a lot. It shows how they've changed as a person, and its a subtle way of self reflection.

I feel as if because we don't know about new Noah that much yet, he does fall a bit flat. I hope that his arc does not end here! And I am sure it wont! I'm sure his story will continue even beyond floor one. Mazm is amazing at characters when it wants to be, and for a game like thy creature, i think it does want to be outstanding.

[hotbucket404]

guys... guys... i think i need a tumblr friend

[we1come-to-the-m4chine]

Since I’m now officially on summer break,,, could you guys send me some ASKS and stuff bc I have to entertain myself bc my so called “friends” have decided to ignore me. So like send asks. If you can’t come up with a question of your own I guess you could steal someone elses question or look under the “ask” tag on my blog (at least i think it’s that. Soooo not to beg or anything but please send me ASKS

[deleteddewewted]

I hope this Isn’t too much, but can you do some bottom Monoma Headcanon’s? Btw love your work!

Awww thank you! And of course, I’d never miss a chance to have some bottom Monoma.

Monoma As a Bottom

Pro Hero! Monoma x Gn! Reader

Minors DNI

NSFW

W: Top Reader, Sub Monoma, Dom Reader, Degradation, Praise, NSFW

Monoma has a really huge need to get fucked it's not even funny.

Always clinging to you, rubbing his covered sex on your ass.

"So when can our next "study date" be?" Study dates where your guys is cover up for when you wanted to fuck.

He always asked for them and you tried to give him what he wanted.

He would ask every. single. day.

"Monoma, I can't keep fucking you every day. You need a break and so do I." Gets pouty with you but understands that your own sex drive might not be as high as his own.

You both weren't a couple but the two of you would look for each other often after graduating UA and starting college.

You went to UA together but you had nothing going on back then.

He was just another student that you happen to interact with from time to time because you were friends with Kendo.

Monoma was a pro hero now, so he didn't trust just anyone to fuck him.

At most he'd have 3 separate people, you included, that could help him get off and move on with his day.

Honestly, he prefers you out of all of his partners because of how much you understand his wants and needs.

Rough. Be rough with him.

Please choke him while you're fucking. Leave marks and hickeys all over him.

He will wear them like a badge of honor.

"You dirty slut Monoma. Taking all of this so well." Loves being degraded but you also can't forget the praise.

Loves to be tied up.

Loosing control just does it for him. He's an all powerful pro hero yet he wouldn't hesitate to get on his knees for you and become defenseless.

Is a really load moaner.

He moaned like a pornstar the first few times you both fucked.

It was mostly to give off the idea that he wasn't a total virgin and you totally were not his first.

You asked him to stop pretending that you were rearranging his insides. He stopped faking his moans and moaned like he would normally.

Which was still loud but sounded better?

It sounded like he was genuinely enjoying it and he would hiccup even if you weren't doing something to intense.

"Pleaaaase Y/nnnn. Giv- gic mmmmmoree." A beggar but bratty.

If he isn't all that tired he will get bratty with you.

This usually happens after a big mission and the adrenaline is still flowing through him.

He challenges you in bed all the time.

"C-come on! Do more Y/n! Oh, you can't? Thats what- aAAAH!"

He needs to get it all out, so what better way then having you fuck him stupid till he's a shaking gasping mess underneath you.

That was a very pretty sight.

Take pictures of him post or during his orgasm.

He says he doesn't want you to do that because its embarrassing, which it is for him, but he really likes the idea that you have such intimate photos of him.

Makes him hot and bothered.

Likes knowing you look at them when you masturbate.

Monoma little by little brought up the fact that he was giving up on his other partners and you simply believed that he would drop you too.

He doesn't, instead he becomes exclusive with you but doesn't ask you for exclusivity back.

Has no issue with you seeing other people in a non romantic manner.

As long as you keep fucking him, he was no problems.

If you want to be exclusive with him, tell him upfront. He gets confused if you aren't forward with him.

Likes being experimental in the bedroom so he buys a lot of new toys for you both to try out.

Doesn't matter what you do, the new additions in the bedroom are always second rank when you're the one taking care of him.

Remember that part about him rubbing against you?

Humping is a normal occurrence with him.

He humps you, your leg, face (when your giving him a blowjob), your own sex, and your stomach when he's riding.

He's a like a dog at times, so you'll treat him like one.

Run your hand threw his hair.

His scalp is sensitive so its intense and pleasurable for him.

Which also means that pulling on his hair is a bit painful but he loves it.

On the days he just wants something gentle, indulge him.

Still so obedient and pretty under you begging for more.

"Please Y/n. M-make me fe-el good hic." Voice so sweet and soft for you.

In the end, Monoma loves to be held by you. He also loves holding you back.

It was one of his favorite things to do after sex and it was why he asked you for "study dates" all the time.

He wanted to be close to you and he thought that sex was the only way to achieve that.

He gets up the next day and looks at how many new splotches of color he has on his body.

Gets exited when he sees 20, anything below that upsets him and he will ask you to add more till he gets his favorite number.

He acts like you didn't just fuck him into a puddle a few hours before work. So dont be surprised if he shows up at the agency with shaking legs and incapable of sitting down normally.

Has teased you at work before by showing off the buttplug he has on threw his pants. How does he do this? Streching his tight pants out so that it hugs his ass tightly, you can barely see the outline.

Everyone knows that Monoma and you fuck.

Why?

Cause he tells them!

He has no shame and mostly does it so people have it clear that you're his.

He leaves 3 buttons on his shirt open so that the hickeys are out for the world to see and gets all flustered when people ask about them.

Talks way to much about what you two do in the bedroom. At this point Kendo could tell you every position, kink, dynamic, and place you've done it.

Gets really soft when you kiss him. So kiss him.

Want him to stop talking, kiss.

He shuts up and watches you patiently, waiting for more kisses.

Has this gloss in his eyes after the deed.

You fucked him out of reality so he needs time to recover and come back.

Would and will be a power bottom if he's angry. Overall prefers to be taken care of but beware of his mood.

Thats the only warning you're getting.

[amiechuchu]

Going anon for this

I know you dont really write for this character but can I request a short blurb for george weasley and y/n swapping clothes 😭 the thought of him, a 6’3” giant, wearing my 5’3” clothes sjdjfkf 😭😭😭😭

gotchu my beloved <3 i apologize for anything i say wrong. keep in mind that i haven't read/watched HP yet (please don't stone me to death) but here you go!

Prompt: George Weasley wearing y/n’s clothes.

"Hello, George," you greeted George, unamused, as he barged in unannounced at your quarters. Just when you thought you could read your novel in peace without any type of crazy today. Well, what is a peaceful day with any of the Weasley brothers?

"What brings you here today?" you asked, lifting your head from the novel you were reading to find George leaning by the door, panting. "Okay, let me rephrase my question. Who do you need to hide from today?"

“Explanation. Too long. Love. Need to borrow your clothes. Please,” George pleaded in between breaths. Beads of sweat started to run down his forehead. He must’ve ran a mile to get here.

“I... Okay, I’m not even going to ask,” you chuckled lightly. You sat up, leaving the comfort of your warm bed and made your way towards the wooden closet. “You know that you’re humongous compared to me, George,” you said as you eyed the variety of clothing pieces folded neatly in your closet, “I doubt anything would fit you.”

It was until your eyes caught a glimpse of a very oversized bright yellow sweater you owned along with a loose denim pinafore. Perfect.  “Actually, maybe these would,” you grabbed the articles of clothing and held them up for George to see, which elicited a small laugh from him.

“Is there nothing else? Not even very loose pajamas?”

“Are you really going to risk tearing any of the pants I own, George?”

“Oh well, beggars can’t be choosers, can’t they?”

He left his place by the door and made his way to you. You handed him the clothes and turned around, giving George a bit of privacy. A gesture that meant he could start changing. You grabbed a nearby book and began reading as to distract yourself from the sounds of belts unbuckling, zippers unzipping, and the occasional grunts from a 6′3 giant attempting to wear clothes that belonged to his 5′3 tall arm-rest.

“So, how do I look?” George asked as he gave you a gentle tap on your shoulders. You turned around to admire whatever what was in store for you: George Weasley, wearing your bright yellow sweater that looked like a crop top on him matched with your denim pinafore that barely covered the edges of his boxers. To top it all off, he was also shaking his hands and saying ‘ta-dah’ as if what he did right there was an artistic masterpiece. You burst into laughter at the crazy sight. George, on the other hand, pulled you beside him and grinned in return.

“So, why did you ask to borrow my clothes?” you asked, face still flushed from all the laughing.

“I lied. I didn’t do anything wrong. I just missed you, love, and wanted to hear you laugh,” he replied, his head resting on yours.

Who knew switching clothes would be so endearing?

[hella1975]

Hella I am quite literally begging you to bequeath upon us the secret behind your ability to do so much shit and also write so much shit. I am over here doing nothing but schoolwork and crying into my coffee and cannot for the life of me write anywhere near as much as you, although I do certainly try. Spare a penny for us beggars or whatever, pls and ty. (Also I just caught up with taob and. I Am Unwell About It.)

sorry for the unwellness im not gonna stop <3

i know i just answered an ask very similar to this but i think this is more about balancing like. a social life and shit as well. i always feel with these advice posts that i sound SO obnoxious so i just want to clarify that im never being like 'this is what i do so you must also do this if you ever want to achieve this thing'. im literally just giving my two cents on a topic i never have ANY idea if im doing things right or not lmao im as lost as you are.

having said that, i actually dont think im as good at balancing my life as it can seem on here? like it has taken me a long long time to get where i am now, and going to uni has given me the independence i needed to sort of smooth it out more, but i spent years where i would go days and days not leaving the house and just writing obsessively, and then out of nowhere i would wake up one morning unable to write a single word, and so instead i would go out a lot and be with my friends. and while it meant i ticked both boxes it also didn't make me happy bc it was very frustrating; i always felt i was sacrificing one part of myself for the other? and i've always been a NIGHTMARE at factoring in schoolwork. it's always writing or social life for me, so bullying myself into not falling off with my education has taken a long time and it's something i still struggle with.

so i've sort of just organised my days better, and it's been surprisingly effective for such a simple solution. i found i write better when i'm actually in an environment where it's 'you are here to write and nothing else' instead of just sitting down whenever i have a minute and churning something out, which is why i like coffee shops so much bc i'm literally stuck there and i HAVE to write. so it's sort of my habit now that morning/lunchtimes are dedicated more to university and my econ friends, evenings are dedicated to me time and writing, and nights are dedicated to my normal uni friend group/going out etc. and it's not set in stone! some days like today i have no plans and im just in my room chilling, and so i'll write for a lot of the day, while other days i wont get a minute to myself and i won't write anything. i also get the MOST annoying writer's block in that my specific brand of it sees me feverishly writing thousands upon thousands of words and then all of a sudden i cannot write anything for WEEKS (i've recently been in a big block with taob where i didn't touch it for an entire MONTH until now, but that was mainly bc i was writing my other story so it could have been worse. i've genuinely had it where my writer's block won't let me pick up any wips at all for months on end and i just have to wait it out).

so basically what im saying is you just have to find what works for you. what are your own writing habits? how can you cater to them more? how can you framework your life a little better without it feeling rigid and militaristic? and ironically after me saying all that, how can you ignore what other writers are doing to better focus on you and what you are like?

[pirate-kwazii]

Watching Ring Of Fire now so here’s more of my thoughts

Is that a fence in the water

Is everyone groaning about the sea urchin and crab or yawning? I can’t tell

Okay I’ve had the Vegimals song stuck in my head for awhile now

Kwazii’s alarm clock shoots tennis balls at him- same

And Dashi starts the day with yoga

Tweaks fell asleep playing video games mood

Shellington what the fUCK

Tf is that- is that lava?!?

Oh ring of fire like the volcanoes- I feel stupid now

They’re doing their role call out of order

What the fuck Kwazii why did you eat 17 kelp cakes

Is the only thing you eat is seaweed

VIDEO TRAINING VIDEO TRAINING

*terrible accordion playing* *everyone winces*

How many cousins do you have peso?!?!

Kwazii: I’m going out and FAST!!!!

Captain: *eyebrow raise*

Kwazii: I mean I’m checking the engine

MORE GUPS?!?!

“Don’t push the Z button” Kwazii is definitely going to press it I bet all 3 of my dollars

Wait why did Peso and Barnacles need a Gup if they were taking the octopod?!

How much time does Tweak have to keep making all these gups?!

Aw Kwazii loves that Gup so much

WHAT IS BARNACLES WEARING WHAT THE HELL NO

Kwazii’s copying it omg-

Shellington and Dashi are such nerd friends it’s actually adorable

Tremors those are probably important

Ring-shape? Like the ring of fire-

Oh no comms are down

A TSUNAMI?!?!

Mateys you should’ve stayed at the Octopod

Kwazii saved Tweak’s life and now it’s flooding

Why don’t they know about the Ring of Fire if they LIVE in the ocean

Oh no the comms are down they can’t reach them!!!!

Damn at least no one is alone...

Of course the Chinstrap Penguins live on a volcano

Well at least Shellington and Dashi are alright and above water so there’s a lower chance of drowning

“How does he know I’m an octonaut?” Maybe it’s because you’re wearing the octonauts colors and the logo all over it

Wow itd be faster to push the stupid thing

Last time you guys followed the screaming sound there was a tsunami

Well at least you found the whales you wanted to find

“I’ve always wanted to see a whale but not like this!” I’d sure hope so Shellington

Of course the volcano erupts

Tweak Kwazii are ya okay?!

THEY DONT HAVE AIR TANKS ON THEM OH NO

TWEAK!!!

Now is not the time to copy Barnacles- holy shit it worked

She just noticed that?!

Shit you guys are stuck

Kwazii beggars can’t be choosers

Why is that the only way to get across Tweak

No Tweak pay attention

ITS ON FIRE

I really hope you guys can hold your breath

She’s pulling a Ladybug and the things she looks at glow now

Improvised fire extinguisher

WHY IS EVERYTHING ON FIRE ARENT YOU UNDERWATER

Eww they landed in seaweed and a banana peel

Why does everyone end in the garbage disposal- sorry compost

Oh he almost fell in-

*opens door and floods room* Guess we’re swimming after all

Tunip leave him it’s natural selection

Grouber just sits and eats during a panic- same

“Lesson Nine- dealing with disasters” what

Why is the background of those videos so bad

I mean it’s rad but also bad

Tunip: *hands the Vegimals a bunch of shovels* good luck

Mateys how did that dirt pile work-

*quickly unplants all the seaweed*

*vacuums the animals*

LEAVE THE SEAWEED YOU HAVE ENOUGH

“You gotta save us!” Why didn’t you get their attention sooner?

Why do none of them notice the volcanoes that they live on/near

We’ve seen the rafts it won’t work

How the hell did you think of that

Is that even possible

They only leave Inkling in charge when legit no one else is there

Kwazii and Tweak: *mimic pirates, rabbits and Barnacles*

Peso and Barnacles: *mimic penguins*

How was the lava that aLMOST COOKED YOUR EGGS NOT A WARNING SIGN

Wow Inkling is not good at this I see why he’s never in charge

Even Kwazii and the Vegimals have managed the octopod better than that

Why is there is Disco Ball

Why does it always switch to the training videos

“Dashi’s so good at this” yeah it’s almost like it’s her JOB

There was a BUTTON FOR THAT EXACT REASON AND YOU DIDNT THINK TO PRESS IT FIRST?!?!?!

Took you long enough jeez

What is they fall off of the “slide”

“Mothers and babies first” anyone else can perish

Well that egg is dead

Oh never mind he got it

WHY DIDNT YOU TWO GET ON THE SIDE TOO TWEAK WOULD UNDERSTAND

I mean she and Kwazii are trying not to be set on fire so I’m sure she’d get it

“I just hope everyone else is okay” well shellington and Dashi are stuck on a volcano that’s exploding trying to get a beached whale out on a very slow Gup, the Vegimals are trying to evacuate the garden, and Tweak and Kwazii are trying to get out of the burning and flooding repair area so no I don’t think anyone else is okay

“This isn’t working” no really Dashi

Oh the crabs know Kwazii that explains so much

Another Training Video?!

The crew all look so nervous when they appear in a training videos

Oh now Dashi and Shellington are mimicking Tweak

Poor Shellington he’s clumsy

“I have to say I.. really like that plan” yea cuz it’s the one that doesn’t involve you burning in the lava

Shellingtons getting a workout in oof

He’s about to fall into the lava

Now the crabs about to fall into the water

Oh god he’s screwed

Crab jump on the whale- now he’s flying

Shellington get out of the lava!!!

Alright some people are safe

Oh never mind the other volcanoes are erupting too

That water level is dangerously high are they gonna be okay

Kwazii don’t phrase it like that it sounds like you’ll die

KWAZII!!!!!

Oh god oh no his tail

Mimicking Barnacles saved the day

TWEAK!!! KWAZII!!!

Oh they are alright thank god

They’re gonna be traumatized from this- *angst time*

“And how will we get up there” Kwazii making good points again

Kwazii with a grappling hook is a terrifying idea please get one

And now they find out the comms are down

Kwazii trying to be helpful

WHY DOES SHE HAVE AN EMERGENCY CARROT STASH

KWAZII GOT ONE TOO

Another video but this ones useless-

TWEAK YOU TURNED OFF THE POWER

They sounded the octo alert together!!!

Babies

EVERYONES OKAY!!!!

OF COURSE THERES ANOTHER ONE

Kwazii and Tweak: ya we’re good

Also them: *trying to not to drown or burn*

They are all gonna connect to each other like Voltron aren’t they

KWAZII DID PRESS IT IM NOT LOSING MY $3 TODAY!!!

Tweak: I got a plan

*crashes through the hatch*

Kwazii: *excited cat sounds*

Yeah they’re going together naturally

“Mega Gup Z” epic naming skills Tweak

“Seat swap” “wait a minute- WHOA”

“It’s completely covered in sea creatures” there’s no way you get all of them

Oh good some are swimming away

“Sit tight” they can’t really do anything else Captain

Do we know where they go after being S U C C E D into the mega Gup z?

And now rocks are everywhere

Kwazii’s excited cat noises are giving me life

Couldn’t the crabs walk away?

Oh no they’re getting stuck in the volcano-

Oh they’re good thank Neptune

Dashi: yea it’s bout to erupt we gotta go

Peso: I saw something inside there we gotta go look

Does Peso want them to die

Of course the animals sound snobby

“Why ever would we do that” CUZ ITS ERUPTING i swear all the creatures have the IQ of a walnut

“I didn’t even make a button for it” bruh

Yeah just like Voltron

Kwazii: *even more excited cat noises cuz he gets to destroy things*

Why do you all name the moves with the word “mantis” in front of them?

They all share one braincell and Barnacles and Peso have it 90% of the time

Tweak gets the other 10%

Everyone else runs on pure chaotic energy

“Tweak Status Report!” Tweak: WE ARE FUCKED

Let Tweak say “Fuck” 2k21

Kwazii: *e x c i t e d c a t n o i s e s*

*throws sea creatures at whale*

*blows up into five gups in massive explosion in front of erupting volcano*

Is all that sea urchin thinks about is food

“You know what I’d like? Dinner” “you know what pal, that sounds great”

“Have the eruptions stopped” “yea but that’s not what I called about”

Is Inkling trying to be more than that guy who sits in his library all day?

Yea it’s not hatching because of the bandage all around it

Please say the egg doesn’t die

Oh it’s alive good

Octonauts: remember that island that got destroyed by a volcano? Would you like to live on an island that volcano created?

Penguins: not really

Octonauts: too bad

Vegitoa? Wow

ITS THAT STUPID SONG AGAIN LAST TIME IT WAS IT MY HEAD FOR TWO WEEKS

“It still felt like we were working as a team” maybe cuz you were all copying each other the whole time

“You really, really need to update those training videos” yeah fair enough

Of course the Vegimals still remember the dance

I see what the hype was about that was a fantastic movie mateys... though everyone’s probably gonna have some problems after that

[littlx-songbxrd]

Zia I have an important question. (Also hi!!! How are you? 🌻)

If the bullies from the academy beat Alastair for a whole year, why do they never physically harm the Merry Thieves? (Save for the demon incident with dumbass Clive)

Especially say Thomas? Who was unusually frail for a shadowhunter?

Why do I feel like it was racism? I mean it could be something to do with their families maybe? That there would be consequences for them, but also there was no consequences for the demon thing soooo

Did Alastair's method of verbal humiliation just make them laugh more so they didn't feel the need? Like WHAT is happening? Did they only beat up Alastair and no one else??

(Also why is no one angry with Eugenia for dating Augustus? He actively bullied them too, even insulting Tessa while staying in her home....James literally threw him into the Thames? Why is it never mentioned that the Thieves at least didn't approve? It sort of makes the "they hate Alastair more because he is actively in their life" theory lose some credibility?)

I don't mean this to sound rude or critical of the Merry Thieves, I mean it more as an inconsistency in CC writing

I feel like you've come to the right place for this because I partake in the hobby of overanalisis wayy too much (and am critical of the mt to a certain extent but fjfnnfnrmfnnf)

Now, this could all very well be CC not being consistent or maybe not thinking of certain plot points before she publiahed nbs and cls

But if we see it in canon context, it does keep the question, why do they hit Alastsir and not the merty thieves

In my opinion theres a simple answer

Merry thieves had power

Alastair did not

Yes the merry thieves were potrayed as "outcast" in the academy and were tormented verbally

But the merry thieves are also very much the sons of 3 of the most influencial families in london. If they contiously hit and phydically harmed them, do you think their parents would sit and do nothing?

You really want to deal with the Consul, head of the london institute perhaps

I do not claim verbal bullying has any lesser effect than physical (both can be extremly damaging). But verbal sure is a lot easier to hide, specially in theyre society

Where they dont really have any sense of mental health, which is the side verbal bullying affects. If shadowhunters dont believe in mental health ot wouldnt be such a hard thing to hide within the school itself. Meanwhile if they hurt any of them, thatd be a lot harder to cover up

They could get away with an incident, once. But if it happened again are you gonna be the one to deal with the consul?

They might have been outcast, but their families did have power

Now Alastair

Lets go by simple logic

If you see you do smth and you can get away with it

Why would you stop?

If they bullied Alastaor and got away with hitting him with no consequence

Why would they stop?

Alastair has no safetly net, maybe all they know about his father are through rumors of his fall of grace but if they harm Alastair and really nothing happens. No repricusions from his family, why would they see reason to stop picking on him?

Alastair was small, just out of a toxic family and very vulnurable. No one came for him when they first did it, neither the second. Because I dont think Alastair would write back, because what would he leave the academy for? To go back to Elias? Again? After this was his final chance

I do certainly believe racism did play a part of it to a certain degree. I feel this part (given the shadowhunter world building) would play more part into the verbal side of it

Cause heres a noy who doesnt look like them, doesnt speak like them (yes Alastair did not have a brittish accent, he developoed it in the acadeny fight me djjkfk) and will never be like them

Do you think the mundane kids working for assension wouldnt give him weird looks? Those raised in mundane society who are only used to seeing people like him as beggars or "my mama and papa told me we shouldnt trust them?"

Which adds in itself more reason to not write home, cause how does he tell his mother they dont trust him because of the culture she gave him?

This got way to long and idk if it makes sense but i've been thinking wayyyyy too much about it

ALSO YOIRE RIGHT ABOUT THE AUGUSTUS THING BUT I GUESS THATS ON CCS PART. ITS IDIOTOC BUT-

Also im doing fine!

Quick question since I just realized this

Is there anything I can call you by? Cause I dont think I call you anything and its messing with my brain

If not I'll give you a nickname!

[vagfullaweed]

My grandpa is dying so my dad is taking me back to Michigan for a few days to say goodbye and to help my mother through it

We can barely afford this so if anyone wants to help my paypal is in my bio

Dont feel obligated please. It's just going to be really tight as of now between gas and having to eat

Not going to tag this because its not a life or death financial type deal and i kind of sound like a typical tumblr e beggar again 😭

It's just going to completely drain all my savings and put me back in a rut since i just paid $80 for my meds that im finally back on

This is more a vent than anything else

[imeverywoman420]

LMFAO girls who live in places with ugly to average men at best make do. my crushes from years ago when i lived in a village make me nauseous now. beggars can’t be choosers!

I womder what an actual attractive man looks like. Like in person. I genuinely do think emil is so cute tho like idk what the hell yall are talking ahout his smile hes so perfect i wish he liked me :/ yup i dont care how “pathetic” that sounds its called having feelings and emotions and a heart etc…. Like i just want to kiss him foreverrrrrrr i wish he liked me! I understand why he doesnt im in like a really abrasive mentally ill era like this is not my best work i would nottt try to commit to me in my current state if i were a man i guess. Like horribly mentally ill lives with mom cant drive disposition of a war orphan gf is not something men look for. And i know that. But i wish he liked me :/

[weabooweedwitch]

I don’t want this to come across as, like, pity because it’s not and I’m sure you don’t want that, I mean this in the normalest, friendliest, least parasocial way possible because having followed you for years and spoke to you a few times it sucks that you are in this situation and have had to repeatedly go through it: can we help you somehow? Ko fi donations, Amazon wishlist, therapy fund etc? Is there anything we could do to make things a little more bearable?

For one I just wanna say that it actually just in itself means a lot that people are wanting to help me or at least vocally reaching out because like.. this is such a big world we're living in and its so easy to feel like i dont mean shit or matter for shit or can change shit at all so its nice to know that like. I dunno.. im glad i was able to kinda find this space for myself because like i dont really have a social life and without you guys (using "you guys" as a general word for all of my online friends rn) i wouldn't have anyone else to turn to

And also I don't perceive you guys wanting to help me as pity at all and really its kind of just validation because I'm basically 24/7 doubting myself and "am I valid for x, am I valid for y" so when im having kind of a crisis and people actually say "shit bro you ok" that feels better than like. I dunno. What does mother usually say. Stuff that's meant to be supportive but is kind of just toxic positivity like "You're overreacting and don't even think about it" which, those can be valid grounding techniques but like, you usually try and soothe the initial feeling first and then tell yourself not to think about it if you're obsessing over it

So I typed up what accidentally turned into a huge paragraph but, as nice as an Amazon wishlist sounds --because it makes me feel good people like me and gifts are always nice of course-- I would feel guilty for even making that public, and, to be realistic, my rent is very cheap and the only reason I don't have a lot of savings is because I keep spending money on bullshit. I kind of need to exercise restraint and actually save money because uh like I've been working for like 2 or 3 years now and I basically still have what I started with. So. I guess TLDR is "i would feel guilty accepting gifts i can technically afford for myself and also I would feel like a total chump beggar 😔". Maybe when I learn more self kindness I'll feel less guilt accepting gifts I guess? Where i am right now, it just feels like I'm being, I dunno, manipulative

Monetary donations are kind of the same and I'm stricter on that and try not to take money unless there's some kind of emergency. I do worry about money a lot but its usually always in the "how can I support myself on my own in the future" sense. I mean, most people put away a small part of every paycheck, but my savings account actually kind of expired and got closed so I just have the one checking one and uh, it's easy for me to keep pulling out of it, you know 💀 but that circles back to "i have to personally learn how to exercise financial restraint" and also like. Let's not. Think about how all the socioeconomic policies in America aren't even remotely in my control so I should uh try and ignore that technically no job is paying enough and everyone has to have roommates or a spouse to afford anything 😅

And also. Yeah I'm ok on like therapy funds and stuff because I'm actually on state insurance, actually I'm trying to cut down my work hours to guarantee I stay in the right financial bracket so I can keep it. I was talking to a couple people last night and I might consider going to a doctor again soon but im really hesitant about it. It kinda seems like I need a more thorough evaluation from a psychiatrist and. Well.

I think my first "big goal" for right now is that I should put some money aside and. Uh. Well. Kinda quit my job for a while so I can focus on those sorts of things. I feel really bad even saying that but the fact is, the fact is, im a person with severe mental illness and depression and my current job involves random strangers constantly constantly treating me like shit and sometimes getting very verbally abusive and aggressive and sometimes just having someone suddenly approach me can be very startling? Did I ever tell you guys about the time a random older man just came up from behind me and briefly grabbed me from behind? It was ad a joke and I was on edge watching my peripheral vision for motion that entire week

So I guess to make a long story short I think I should. Focus on what I want to do in terms of medicine right now and really fight to pursue the fact I think some really important diagnoses have been missed, and to do that without a lot of stress, to have a flexible schedule to see a doctor, I think the best decision is to take off work for a while, which I think is a good idea anyways? So to do that with a clear conscience I just want to have a few months of my portion of rent and then some extra in my bank account so I won't have to stress about immediately getting back to work or getting a new job. Because that's another decision I have to make: for I want to brave the current job market and look for another job and risk the one I currently have.

Long answer is long but I have a lot of thoughts right now 💀 talking with you guys has been a huge help in of itself so thats the only payment I'll accept for right now 🥰

[zuffer-weird-girl]

You don't have to do it rn but can we have more of Pirate AU? I think I'm falling for this oh maybe the conflict in Kai's head for having feelings like those for the first time? Or how lose he is into how to make her feel the same?

"That woman has something..." he hissed while looking down at you, cleaning the deck and accidentaly hitting Tabe's on the face with the mop and apologizing profusely as the man only shaked his hands that it was fine...

"What you mean?" Chrono sighed, spitting the toothpick that was on his mouth on the sea as Mimic snorted.

"Cant any of you blind people see it?" He hissed, showing his gloved palm at you on the deck, Nemoto calling everyone to assign the chores as you listened with a bored face "She just... I cant be the only one that notice it."

"Uh... notice it what?" Mimic chuckled as Chisaki sighed in dissapointment and annoyance.

"She catches too much... attention."

"Well." Chrono said while getting up from the box he was sitted on "Excluding the fact she is indeed the only woman on board... she kinda has a nice personality."

He glared at his commurate but soon returned his gaze at you, singing a song that not all his years at the sea and earth ever heard of...

"... she is just a street rat. A thug thief." He muttered in disgust before marching down to his quarters as the two males shrugged at the action of their captain.

As soon as he closed the door he let out a deep sigh while he rested his forehead on the door, taking off his hat while he narrowed his eyes at nothing.

"Did she threw a spell on me or something? I cant just take her off my mind..." he chuffed while walking towards his desk and putting his hat and jacket neatly aside.

.

.

.

You walked on the board of the ship while humming, watching the starts and playing with the rope attached to the main post of Overhaul's ship.

After Neptune knows how long you've been here, you actually found out that pirates weren't all that bad thing that the people of your village that you lived many years ago talked about ... they were just ocassional freddy mans that looked for something in life...

And well, you hatred for pirates wasn't even yours. Your mother threw this at you becaus eof your father being a pirate himself and abandoning his family. The only thing he left you was a song that not even once left your mind alone especially when you were kidnapped.

"We're beggars and blighters, ne'er-do-well cads Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho Aye..." you singed quietly while supporting yourself by only the rope you were holding, ocassionaly twirling yourself and smiling now at then at the bright shiny sky or at the sea that surrounded you.

"But we're loved by our mommies and dads-"

"Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho." You yelped and accidentaly losed the grip of the rope and almost fell into the cold sea if it wasn't for a gloved hand grabbing your arm.

"C-Captain!" You almost yelped while pulling away from him. He tilted his head, that sick and arrogant smirk showing on his face as you tried to hide your embarrassment.

"Now you call me 'captain' brat? After two years confided on thsi ship." You scoffed and crossed your arms over your chest while furrowing your eyebrows up at him.

"Prefer me to call you mister buck head or fucker again?" You muttered as he shaked his head, folding his arms on his back as he started to walk away from you.

"Not quite. I much rather enjoy my tittle being finally slipped from that silver tongue of yours." He spoke nonchantly as you uncrossed your arms and followed him.

"How did you know this song?" You asked as he looked at you.

"Eto..?"

"You know!" You almost exclaimed before looking away from his face "... the one I was singing a few minutes ago..."

"Simple. I listened it. Is quite a verm in my opinion..." he looked up at the sky while furrowing his eyebrows at the sky "...yo ho We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho.." he sighed as you widened your eyes.. he did paid attention to the song.

And his voice... was so... magical, beautiful even to hear.

"This particulary one got me interested. Devils and black sheep, what a stupid yet accurate ... comparation." He looked at you and stopped walking at the smug smile you were wearing as he furrowed his eyebrows "What?"

"You've been watching and listening to me? Captain?" This time his tittle came off as a sound of teasing and you couldn't believe in your own eyes at the bright red color that was starting to form on the man's cheeks.

He scoffed and covered his face with his jacket and started to walk away as you started to giggled in amusement.

"Oh my Poseidon! You were!" You trailed after him as his boots clicked on the deck as be trued to just leave that place immediate

"Was not. With the amount of problem you cause I have to watch over you." He growled, still knot looking at your face.

"Bullshit!" You cackled before stopping at the sword on your throat as he glared down at you.

"You have the nerve to laugh on the face of the most cruel and terrifying captains of all seas you brat?" His lips parted in shock as you giggled and swatted the tip of his sword away.

"A cruel captain that blushes over a silly question like mine? Was I suppose to cry at that?"

"A bold one you are..." he growled while twirling his sword on his hold before putting it back on his belt.

It was silence for a bit before he walked away opening the door that gave entrance to his own quarter. You just giggled and gave your back to him before you listened to him whistle.

"Oi." You turned to look at him, holding the door open as his nonchantly gaze was stuck on you "... Come. We never actually discussed that time you were injured."

"You mean the one I was kidnapped by another crew or when you threw me to the cold as fuck sea?" You pointed at the sea with emphasizes as his eyes narrowed.

"Forget that." He growled, entering before hsi eyes opened a but wide at seing you giggling and walking past him.

"Ya know?" You hlgave him a smile and a wink over your shoulder "You could just ask if I wanted to hang out with you."

"As if." He rolled his eyes at the back of his head while closing the door.

"Sir... I read your journal." You smiled at the shock on his face as you giggled "So I am not just a thug street rat to you? Am I?"

He tsked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"I would more consider you as a witch." He growled as you shaked your head.

"You're no good with emotions right? Mister captain Overhaul?" He looked at you and only saw good intentions on your eyes... something so rare to him on all his life, both when he was adopted by a pirate and before that.

"... that doesn't matter." He sighed, walking past you and taking a bottle and showing it to you "May I have your company this night?"

"Well.." you pretended to think before smiling at him "If I get to know your real name then yes..."

He thought for a bit before smirking, taking your hand on his gloved one more like a noble then a pirate.

"As long as it doesn't leave your lips outside from here." He sighed at your mention to zip your mouth shut "Is.. Chisaki Kai." Your eyes widened and body freezes... not only at seing that he actually spoke his name but...

"Are... are you that lost of the Chisaki-"

"No." He took his hand away from you and you actually felt cold without his one fu king hand on you "Dont speak the name of someone whose faked my own death and caused me so much suffering."

"S-Sorry..." you looked at him giving your back as got two calices made of fucking gold "I... had no idea."

He tsked ince again while handling you.

"You're the first one on this ship asides from Chronostasis to know about this. And I hope your mouth stay shut or else-"

"You will throw me at the sea for the sharks?" You snorted while taking the drink.

"Worse." He growled as you giggled, smilling up at him.

"Well, where is that part where you admit you have feelings for me?" You actually laughed at how he gagged on his won drink and opened the window of his quarters to spit "Too far?" You giggled while patting his back as he coughed.

"You're such a headache to my life you brat..." he wheezed out as you muffled your giggled at seing his tomato yet grumpy as hell face.