on today's episode of "taylor swift is SO jurdan coded" is "evermore feat. bon iver"
in my opinion, a lot of the songs can interpreted from both jude's and cardan's side and this one is a great example of it
"Gray November
I've been down since July" could very well be jude's exile - jude would be down because she was exiled (obviously), but we know cardan was extremely down too since he thought jude didn't want to return his letters
"Motion Capture
Put me in a bad light" - jude was put in an extremely bad light when cardan exiled her in front of everyone
"I replay my footsteps on each stepping stone
Trying to find the one where I went wrong" is one of the parts i think are fitting for both - jude has been raised as a mortal in elfhame, always having to watch what she's doing and make sure she's doing it correctly, i'm more than sure she'd overthink every single thing to find where she went wrong. on the other side, cardan has been raised as an unwanted princeling born under a bad prophecy, it clouded his whole being. for cardan's side i imagine both him as a child, trying to figure out what he did for everyone to ignore and hate him, and also him in the time between twk and tqon, trying to figure out why jude wasn't coming back despite his letters.
"Writing letters
Addressed to the fire" - i think this one is very self explanatory on cardan's side, but i think it can also be used as a metaphor for jude's efforts to fit in and prove her strength to everyone (ex: madoc) that she knows won't change anything anyway because she's mortal first, and everything she achieves is tarnished by that
"Staring out an open window
Catching my death" - this one isn't really something i can explain, i just imagine jude in vivi's apartment during the exile
"And I couldn't be sure
I had a feeling so peculiar
That this pain would be for
Evermore" again, fitting for both in a way - for both jude and cardan, they lived with something that shadowed everything they did. for jude, it was her mortality. for cardan, the prophecy. both of those caused pain (that they dealt with in very different yet similar ways, but not getting into that now) that they knew wouldn't go away. the second example, also fitting for both, is during the exile. jude was obviously homesick. despite the circumstances, elfhame did become her home and she was banished from it. on the other side, i imagine jude was the first person to make cardan feel at home, so in a way he banished himself from home by exiling her.
"Hey December
Guess I'm feeling unmoored" - again, exile (trying to speed this along)
"Can't remember
What I used to fight for" jude - through and through, it's her. she worked her way to not only being a spy and seneschal, but the actual QUEEN. and for what? to be exiled hours later? everything she touched and fought for turned into ashes.
"I rewind the tape, but all it does is pause
On the very moment I was lost" again, both - i could bring up the prologue of tcp, but i'm not doing that to myself. i think for cardan the most accurate moment was when jude tricked him and oak placed the crown on his head, those lyrics just FIT!! for jude the most important ones would of course be when she almost died but also when he saw cardan laughing with the folk.
"Sending signals
To be double crossed" - cardan. exile. letters. all i'm gonna say.
"Barefoot in the wildest winter
Catching my death" jude - i have to say it. jude when she almost died. you know the one i mean.
"Oh, can we just get a pause?" - i wish they would've gotten SO. MANY. PAUSES. this obviously applies to both. especially when cardan lost his family (it hit him more than he wanted to, i don't care) and, i'm sorry, when cardan turned into the serpent. i can see jude standing in front of him before she kills him so vividly when i hear this
"Cannot think of all the cost
And the things that will be lost" - i wish the two of them knew what was coming for them i'm sobbing
"I'm on waves, out being tossed" - pun intended
"And when I was shipwrecked
I thought of you" both fit - the amazing thing with jude and cardan is that no matter who was actually in danger, the other suffered too. when jude was held by the undersea, cardan went berserk. the time during jude's captive fits for many reasons (there was a pun intended by picking it). it also suits cardan when his family was BEING SLAUGHTERED AND HE SAW JUDE.
"In the cracks of light
I dreamed of you" again - both. i like to think of this as a metaphor, the cracks of light are the parts of cardan that were conscious when he was the serpent, not knowing anything but jude. and jude herself admitted that she dreamed of cardan, so i'm taking that one literally even thought there were no cracks of light during her exile
thanks for coming to my VERY long ted talk
"But I swear
You were there" cardan - again what i said above. he knew nothing, not even himself, but he knew jude.
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Modern Reincarnation AU Part 4 ✨️
Part 3
"John?"
Bucky storms past Jack into the townhouse. It's rude, but he'll apologize later. He doesn't know why he came here instead of his apartment. Old habits dying a hard drawn out death, maybe? He hadn't been thinking clearly. Hadn't been thinking at all really until he found himself waved through by his father's security detail.
"Oh, is that John?" He hears his father call out, dress shoes clicking against hardwood as he walks closer, but Bucky stomps up the stairs towards his room before he sees the man. His breaths come out in rushes as tears keep burning his eyes.
Shit, he thought he'd gotten those under control on the train.
Slamming his door, he slides down until he rests against the floor. He tosses his bag to the side wincing at the sound it makes. Hopefully his laptop survives. At some point he does actually have to do the work he went to the library to finish.
The library.
Buck and Curt.
They wouldn't, Bucky tells himself. They wouldn't. Curt was one of his best friends, and Buck loved him. They...
Fuck they were roommates! Why the hell were they talking about that shit in public? In the place Bucky considered his? Why even pretend? Why drag Bucky into this? Why?!
Bucky buries his face into his hands. His chest hitches as he tries not to sob. He doesn't want his father or Jack to worry about him. He doesn't want to talk this through.
He wants...
He wants Buck. He wants the other to pull him into his arms. To kiss him again as if today had never happened. There was something else about being with Buck, something he'd never felt with anyone else be they friend or lover. He made Bucky feel safe and wanted. Wanted not because of his family and connections but because he was himself.
Buck would know how to make him feel better.
He laughs quietly through his tears. Distantly, he can hear Jack briefing his father downstairs, the words faint but he hears his name and tears used together. His laughter is more sob than anything else. Of course, the one good thing he'd found would end up belonging to someone else. Story of his life.
✨️
There's too much work to do. At least that's the excuse Bucky gave himself for not confronting Buck and Curt immediately. There wasn't time for a confrontation and subsequent blowup of his life.
At least that's the lie he tells himself.
Bucky chews on the straw of his iced coffee as he skims yet another chapter. There's a pumpkin muffin in front of him that he swore would be his reward for getting through this fourty page reading. Midterms have come and gone, but Bucky still has deadlines to meet and research to complete. He can't sit in his room forever, as much as his father and Jack would sometimes prefer that. Better protection from whatever sent Bucky crying to his room as his father would argue. Better protection for his father's political career Jack would quip.
Speaking of protection, Bucky glanced to the side of the cafe towards his security detail. At least these guys attempted to blend in. His father must have briefed them on his track record with previous details. Bucky smirked around his straw. They'd be easy to lose come rush hour. A bit of fun even.
Bucky turned back to his reading, squinting down at the words.
"American airmen during World War II had a dismal life expectancy. It was not a matter of if an airman was going to be shot down but when. Once downed, airmen faced an uncertain 'reception committee,' as Second Lieutenant Kenneth C. Reimer noted in a drawing he made as a POW in Stalag Luft I in Barth, Germany... 'for every [ground combat] soldier killed in action, three or four others would be wounded; air combat was completely the opposite. For every man wounded, three were killed.'"
"Bucky?" A hand settles on his shoulder jolting him out of his reading.
Bucky kept his shoulders loose as he turns around. Buck stares down at him, a bright smile on his face that Bucky can't help but match despite his grief. It wasn't even something he could control. Buck smiled at him, so he smiled back. Bucky felt pitiful.
Buck's sky blue eyes are clear and happy as they dart across Bucky's face. There's no sign that he realizes Bucky overheard him yesterday.
Bucky lifts a hand to calm his detail, all alert now after Buck's friendly greeting. He sees the nearest agent settle back into their chair but knows none of them are relaxed. He darts a look up at Buck, peering at the other through his glasses to see if he'd noticed the disturbance.
Buck's gaze, as it always does, doesn't leave Bucky's face. Even when he rounds the table to sit down, his eyes are pinned on Bucky and nothing else.
"Sorry I couldn't meet up yesterday," Buck dumps his bag onto the chair next to him. Bucky's smile twitches. Buck sits down across from him. His legs tangle with Buck's own under the table, Buck's foot gently bumping his ankle.
"It's fine," Bucky chomps down on his straw. "How was your advisor meeting anyway?"
"It was good," Buck smiles at him, not even a hint of guilt on his face. "Real good."
Buck had told Bucky he was called to fill in a shift yesterday and that was why he supposedly hadn't been able to meet up. A lie Buck hadn't even bothered to remember. His advisor meetings were also always in the morning on Thursdays. Today was Tuesday.
Buck was still lying to him, and he wasn't even guilty about it.
✨️
"I went by your place yesterday. You weren't home." Buck swings their clasped hands through the air.
"Hmm?" Bucky glanced away from the traffic around them. His detail were staying a conspicuous ten feet back, but they were annoyingly keen when Buck offered to walk him back to his apartment.
Bucky would lose them another day.
Buck laughed, deep and airy. Bucky struggled not to lose himself in it. That was what made this so hard. Bucky still loved Buck, and Buck still acted like Bucky was his whole world and then some.
"Oh," Bucky finally processed what Buck had said. "No, I went to my dad's for the night."
"Really?" Buck squeezes his hand. Bucky hates how much comfort Buck's touch gives him.
Does Curt receive the same...? No Bucky doesn't let himself finish the thought.
"How was it?" Concern bleeds into Buck's voice. Bucky hates how genuine it sounds. He's starting to use that word more than any other. The longer he looks at Buck, the more he has to hate to save his heart.
"Fine," Bucky shrugged stepping further away as they came to a stoplight. "The usual."
"The Bucky I know wouldn't give such a short answer," Buck stepped closer eating up the space Bucky had put between them. "Not unless something happened yesterday. Come on, you okay?"
Bucky felt the words bubbling up his throat.
I saw you. I saw him. Why are you here staring at me like I'm the most important thing in the world when you have him? Why are you doing this to me? I love you. I love you so much it feels like my soul hurts. I hate you.
"Spent most of the night avoiding his staffers." Bucky lied. "Barely saw him, Jack either, yet he still asked me to move home at breakfast."
Buck nods, accepting his lies. Was that what they were now? Not a relationship, simply a lie? Bucky wasn't sure anymore. His heart thumped against his rib cage, anger and love in every other beat, but he wasn't sure which would win.
Buck had become his whole world in such a short amount of time. He thought the feeling was mutual, but yesterday showed just how stupid Bucky really was.
"How about this," Buck nudged his hip. "Why don't I stay over tonight? We'll binge a few movies, order something, and have night in. Then,"
Buck paused with a stupid grin that, despite himself, Bucky still found charming. Fuck, he was truly pathetic for this.
"I'll sweep you off your feet and take you to bed. How does that sound?"
"Won't Curt be expecting you?" The question pops out of him without meaning to. Gale furrows his brow, confusion growing in his eyes.
"Curt won't miss me tonight."
Sure, he won't, Bucky thinks bitterly.
✨️
"John," Jack's voice was a surprise. Especially considering it was his father's number calling him.
"You've gotten much better at your Jack impression," Bucky answers just to be annoying. "Does he know you impersonate him on official numbers?"
"You're not as funny as you believe."
"Ooh, you even have his disapproving tone down. I feel like he's in the room with us!" Bucky laughs. He peers around the corner. Buck's still where he left him, buried in his phone texting someone.
Bucky doesn't let himself think about who that person is.
"Your father wants to invite you to a dinner tomorrow. You can even bring that boy that walked you home. The one that hasn't left." Pages flip in the background as Jack talks. Probably governmental reports his father was supposed to read.
"You know you're not his chief of staff anymore?" Bucky leaned his hip against the counter. "You don't have to read reports or wrangle his kid to government dinners to help his image as a family man. You're his husband now, you're the family."
"You're my kid too by that logic, so wrangling you gets to stay on my resume." Bucky snorts out a laugh. "Besides, it's not a state dinner or anything. He just wants to see you."
Guilt gnaws at his heart. Buck pokes his head into the kitchen, phone no longer holding all of his attention.
"Fine," Bucky groans. "But if he brings up the apartment again, I'm walking out with my food on my plate even if it's the good plates."
"See you tomorrow at 7 then. Bring your boy." Jack hangs up without a goodbye.
✨️
It'll be me, and it'll be you, Buck.
Don't count on it.
Bucky jerks awake. His dream flashes through his head too fast for him to remember anything. Scenes superimpose over each other, words jumble together. At least this one wasn't a nightmare. Those always left him shakey and off balance all day.
His dreams have always been vivid, ever since he was a kid. The child psychologists he'd gone to had said it was normal and simply a sign of a well developed imagination.
Bucky runs a hand through his hair groaning when he glances towards his bedside clock. It's nearly an hour until he has to get up, but he knows that he won't be getting back to sleep before then.
Buck lays curled up next to him on the bed. Bucky reaches out to brush a hand through the other's hair. Buck twitches leaning into the feeling for half a second but doesn't stir beyond that.
Bucky sighs. Extricating himself from Buck's long limbs takes time. Somehow in the night, Buck had nearly fused them together as if even asleep the man refused to let him go. Arms layered over arms. Legs tangled together. It's an excellent distraction from his dreams but not from the problems of the waking world. If only he could forget those once he woke up like he did his dreams.
It's only when he's pouring water for his coffee that he realizes he recognizes the voice from his dream. A first for him.
It'd been Buck's.
✨️
(Not a confrontation I know, but it builds my AU lol)
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Before I had a Tumblr account there was this Greek mythology blog I really liked called @dontwannadothisanymore but now they're deactivated :/
This really sucks because I really wanna see their posts again (and there were two that I really really really need to see again). But if nobody reblogged then those posts are gone... forever. I have faith that people reblogged, though, I just need to find them.
If anyone has ANY post from them that they reblogged, please tell me!! Genuinely I will be so thankful.
Here are the two post I'm looking for:
One is an Athena Complex big 4 (Zeus, Hera, Poseidon, Hades) headcanons post. I think it was about them feeling/using their power for the first time. The only thing a recall concretely is Hades being oblivious af (and something to do with Cerberus). There was a panel of the character before each set of headcanons.
The other is a Hades & Poseidon & Zeus fic, and actually if I dig through my very numerous ChatGPT prompts I might find it (sorry, I think I fed the fic to AI because I loved the style so much, maybe I shouldn't have done that but if I do find it that way then I sure won't regret it) but I might not (it will also take a helluva long time 'cause I didn't name any of them) . Uhh it's kinda hard to explain the premise but what I remember is: Hades spits out bad coffee (on the stairs?) and goes to the kitchen (and sets the cup in the sink?) and lies down on the floor. I don't remember what Poseidon was doing but he also joins Hades on the floor. Zeus gets up to use the bathroom and calls out to his brothers if they're in there just in case, and Poseidon answers that they're in the kitchen on the floor and Zeus ends up joining them too. Yeah. At some point either Zeus or Poseidon narrowly avoids stepping on Hades's coffee-spit.
I loved *all* of their Greek mythology headcanons though, literally if you can find a single one please tell me.
I did a google search and found some of their not Greek mythology posts, and a couple of Gm headcanon posts which I will reblog (but on a seperate blog probably).
(I'm too scared to reach out to the bigger blogs they interacted with; some of them are restricted anyways.)
Yeah. Thank you (if you read this far lol).
And sorry for the tags...
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𝐃𝐀𝐇𝐋𝐈𝐀 𝐁𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐄𝐒
── “I hope my father climbs from the depths of hell to smite her in the chest”
PLOT under the cut
THE HOUSE OF BARNES ( plot )
Dahlia is the daughter, + youngest daughter out of four ( Penelope, Beatrice + Dominique ).
From a young age, she was neglected by her sisters and ignored because she was the “golden child” of the family. She was raised mostly by her father whilst her mother took care of her other sisters. Dahlia was bound to become her father, with his personality and behaviour.
Since her older sisters refuse to carry on the family legacy and moves away, Dahlia is seen as the one who will continue the name. At some point, however, she is s*xually assaulted twice and this is what sparks her anger.
Due to the family code, Penelope commits arson on her own home on her eighteenth birthday, killing her parents whilst Dahlia managed to escape. A few weeks later, Dahlia found Penny working at a restaurant, and Dahlia begs for Penny to let her stay with her.
Dahlia soon moves in with Penelope and her girlfriend, Sylvia’s apartment. Dahlia then meets eighteen year old, Benjamin who instantly falls in love with the seventeen year old girl. However, whilst Dahlia does not love him back, she agrees to the relationship.
After all of the events, and Dahlia suffering from a nicotine, cocaine and drinking problem, she kills someone and Benji calls her insane and asks her what’s wrong with her
THE CULT OF DIONYSUS ( plot )
From being sexually assaulted, Dahlia starts a hotel and only invites men who were involved in her father’s circle or the relatives of that circle ( all adults ). She chooses a man who resembles Benji as a means of comfort, and keeps him alive. Slowly, she murders all of these men, either by shooting them by proxy or killing them herself ( the men who actually sa’d her ).
leaving the plot here <3
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