#i even rested before i went to the store...

[cheoliehansolie]

Rainy Days

Summary: Your plans for the day are canceled when the weather takes a turn, but you and your boyfriend manage to turn it around.

Word Count: ~1.5k

Pairing: Mingyu x gn reader

Warnings: None, but y/n is written to be smaller than Mingyu

Author's Note: If you like reading this, make sure to reblog! If you have any suggestions or you just want to talk, send me an ask 💕

To read more, check out my masterlist

---

You woke up this morning to the warmth of your boyfriend’s arms wrapped around you and the sunlight streaming in through your windows. It was the first Saturday in a while that you had no plans and you were definitely going to take advantage of the nice weather to run some errands.

You quietly separate yourself from the sweet, sleeping man next to you and slowly make your way to the bathroom, trying your best not to make any noise. Once you showered and got ready for the day, you headed out to the kitchen to make yourself a quick breakfast. You’re hoping that you can go get some grocery shopping done before the love of your life wakes up from his slumber.

Just as you finish eating your breakfast, the once sunny atmosphere becomes extremely dark. Okay, a little bit of clouds won’t be that big of a problem. I can still walk to the grocery store and be back soon.

Your optimistic thoughts are immediately shattered when you hear a loud crack of thunder and the intense downpour of rain outside your apartment window. Okay, I guess that means no grocery shopping for today. 

Realizing that you’ve been up for too long to go back to bed, you decide to clean up your kitchen a bit. While cleaning, your eyes fall on the fruit bowl sitting on your kitchen counter. You were going to replenish it with some new produce when you went to the store, but it’s apparent that that’s not going to happen today. The bowl is almost empty, except for some brown bananas that you knew no one would eat. Almost as if a lightbulb goes off, you decide to give up on cleaning and in favor of making a fresh loaf of banana bread. The best way to spend a rainy, gloomy day is by baking, isn’t it?

So, you rush around your kitchen grabbing different utensils and ingredients to make the delicious treat. You need to remind yourself to be a little quiet because even though your boyfriend can sleep through a thunderstorm, he’s immediately woken up by the promise of food. You grab your headphones from the kitchen table and start playing your rainy day playlist while you move around the kitchen.

While you’re mixing the dry and wet ingredients together, you feel a pair of strong, familiar arms wrap around your waist. Jolting at the sudden contact, you set down the mixing spoon and pull your headphones off.

“Babe, you can’t just sneak up on me like that. What if I had a heart attack?” you whine as you struggle against his grip to turn and face him, but to no avail as you’re essentially trapped in his arms. You can feel his chest rumble against where it’s pressed against your back and can feel his warm breath hitting your neck as he chuckles slightly at your antics.

“You know, I wasn’t quiet when I came out here. I walked into the kitchen table but you didn’t hear me because you had your headphones on.” Mingyu says matter-of-factly as he pulls his face away from your neck so you can hear him properly.

“Okay, then I guess that’s my bad.” you say with a small laugh. You realize that Mingyu isn’t letting you go any time soon, so you get back to mixing the batter in front of you.

“What’re you making?” Mingyu asks as he looks over your head to see what’s in the bowl in front of you.

“Banana bread. I was gonna go grocery shopping, but it started raining the second I was ready to leave so I decided to bake.” you say, finally satisfied with the consistency of your batter but unable to move to grab the baking pan.

“You should’ve just come back to bed.” Mingyu whines behind you as he rests his head on yours.

“I would’ve, but I’ve been awake for too long that I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. Besides, now you can have fresh banana bread for breakfast.” you say, trying to sneakily find a way out of his arms. 

“Aww, thank you baby. That’s so thoughtful of you.” he says as he places a soft kiss on the top of your head. “But I would’ve loved cuddles in bed just as much as fresh banana bread.” he says, squeezing you tighter as if he knew of your plan to escape.

“Cuddles can be arranged.” you say with a small giggle as you continue to struggle against his arms. Unable to find a way out, you say “I’m gonna need you to let me go so I can put the batter into a pan and bake it, you know that right?” tapping his arms to get him to let you go.

“I don’t want to. Can’t we just get it together?” he asks, pouting at you. Letting out a sigh of defeat, you relent and try your best to maneuver around the kitchen with your much larger boyfriend weighing you down. 

Although you put on a show of being bothered by how clingy he can be, both you and your boyfriend know that you love it when he’s attached to you like a koala. It makes your heart swell and your stomach explode with butterflies when he makes it so apparent that he likes being near you as much as you like being near him.

Once you’ve finally gotten back to the counter with the baking pan, you decide that if Mingyu’s going to cling onto you he might as well be useful. 

“Babe, can you hold the bowl while I scrape the batter into the pan?” you ask, turning your head to look at his face.

“Of course, baby.” he says as he unwraps one of his arms around your waist and grabs the bowl full of batter. “Let me know when you’re ready.”

You grab the spoon and give him a small nod, “I’m ready.”

Mingyu watches you as you diligently scrape the remaining batter from the bowl not wanting to waste any of it. Once you’ve gotten all the batter off the bowl that you can, you take the bowl from Mingyu’s hand and place the spoon in it.

“Babe, do you think you can let me go now? I have to put this in the oven and I don’t want either of us to get burnt.” you say gently, even though you don’t want him to let you go either.

“Fine.” he says, giving you a final squeeze and letting go of your waist. Your body immediately shivers at the loss of warmth Mingyu was providing you with so you rush to put the pan into the oven so the two of you can be reconnected as soon as possible.

Setting a timer on your phone to remember to take the bread out of the oven, you turn to where you left Mingyu just a few seconds ago and you find him cleaning the small mess you made while baking.

Taking this as your chance, you rush behind him and wrap your arms around him to cuddle against him. Leaning your cheek against his back, you feel so content just standing around your kitchen with him in your arms that you feel like you could stay like this forever.

You silently trail behind him as he makes his way around the small kitchen, hardly paying you any attention. After a few minutes, he’s deemed the kitchen clean by his standards and he abruptly turns in your arms to face you.

“Hi.” he says with a small smile on his face as the two of you finally face each other for the first time today.

“Hi.” you say with a love struck smile on your face.

“If I remember correctly, someone promised me cuddles earlier.” Mingyu says with a hopeful glint in his eyes.

“Well, we have another 45 minutes until the banana bread’s ready so we might as well kill time.” you say, the smile from earlier still gracing your features.

“That’s not nearly enough time.” Mingyu whines as he pulls you close.

“Then you better get to it.” you said, enjoying teasing your boyfriend.

“Yeah, I should.” he says and before you could even register what was happening, your feet are off the ground and Mingyu’s carrying you to the couch in the living room.

You let out a squeal of shock as your much larger boyfriend manhandles you into cuddling him on the couch. Mingyu grabs a blanket from the edge of the bed and drapes it over the two of you and he pulls you into his chest.

The two of you cuddle together in silence as Mingyu plays with your hair and you draw shapes on his taut abdomen, the only sound being the sound of rain pattering outside. Before you realize it, you’re drifting off to sleep in Mingyu’s arms and before you could fully be pulled under the sea of sleep, you can’t help but think about how much you enjoy laying here in his arms.

[dragons-and-yellow-roses]

I've been wanting chicken quesadillas for days, and finally finally finally I got up enough energy to go to the store for the ingredients. That's a very difficult task on its own. Gotta get dressed. Drive there. Shop! But I did it!

I dressed cute but comfy and low effort. I drove all the way to the store. Shopped. Got some Starbucks as a fun reward. Barely had any guilt about spending money, and bought only the stuff on my list! Healthy stuff!

Brought it home. Unloaded it all. Appreciated how nice my fridge looks when it's full of healthy food.

And then I realized that I don't have enough energy to cook. I went to all the effort of buying the ingredients that I don't have anything left in me. Why. Why am I like this.

My quesadilla ingredients are sitting. Alone. In my fridge. Wanting to be cooked. I want them to be cooked. But the thought of standing. And cooking. Is so much. I cannot do it. But I want my quesadillas :( But I need to wash dishes. Need to cook. Can't wash dishes. Can't cook. Can't even stand. What the fuck is this bullshit.

[milkweedman]

am starting to think that there is nothing less helpful and correct than the manuals for fiber arts tools

[piplupod]

im going to miss the thrift store so much :( the couple who run it are so cool and kind, they've been really really lovely to me every time i've gone in there, they let me use their washroom once even though its not for customers, and the lady tossed a couple bonus items into my bag today and also gave me a tip on cleaning a wool skirt and also told me that one of the shirts I got is from the 70s (she said it in a bit of a whisper like it was a secret fdjskl) and it's just SUCH a good experience every time i've ever gone in there :') i am so so so grateful that i've had this store to experience for as long as i have, but i'm just really really going to miss it once it's gone in the next couple months 😭

[somelazyassartist]

.

[verstappen-cult]

GWEN’S RADIO MESSAGE. I saw the notification and ran to Instagram only to find these photos. And when I tell you that I couldn’t stop looking at them for at least five minutes. . . so, you know I had to write a silly little drabble.

You come home after your early pilates class to find Charles snuggling with a puppy on the carpet in the living room, cushions perfectly scattered around to simulate a comfortable bed. When Charles sees you standing there with a puzzled look on your face, he just pouts, hugging the little dog tightly against his chest, and looks at you from beneath his eyelashes.

“What is that?” You ask, eyebrows raised. You know what is is, you simply don’t know what is a dog doing in your apartment when you don’t have any pets.

Charles cheeks are colored a light pink when he says, “Remember that time you said how much you wanted a puppy?”

“That was ages ago!”

“But look at him!” Charles grabs the puppy with both hands and shows him to you just like that scene in The Lion King with Simba being presented to all the animals in the kingdom. “Look at those eyes! We can’t send him back to the shelter.”

The dog isn’t even looking at you, too busy licking your boyfriend’s hand.

But Charles is right.

You can’t send him back to the shelter when you can give him a better life. And is not like you are actually mad that he decided to adopt a dog without your consent, it’s more about the surprise to see him lying on the carpet in his $2,000 white designer sweater with a dog, when in the past he’s gotten angry when you haven’t hung it up how it is supposed to hung.

You drop your bag and take off your shoes to join him on the floor. The little guy jumps from his hand and walks over to you, sniffing your hands and giving you side eyes until he feels safe enough to climb in your lap and let you hold him.

“Aren’t you cute,” You say, giving his little head a kiss. “I guess we need to give him a name, no?”

“About that,” Charles plays with a dog toy to avoid looking at you. “I already named him.”

You huff, “Of course you did.” You can’t be mad, not when Charles looks so shy and happy with the cute puppy walking around and exploring his new home. “What is his name?”

“Leo Leclerc.” He says it so proud, the corners of his mouth curling up that you can’t help but smile too.

“It suits him.” You agree, leaning closer to Charles. He immediately opens his arms for you and you rest your head on his chest, looking at Leo trying to climb on the sofa. “You’re a dog dad now, Charlie.”

“I’m sorry I didn’t asked you before adopting him,” He turns his head to get a better look at you. “and I’m sorry I used you wanting a puppy as an excuse when in reality I feel in love with him the second I saw him through the window.” Leo walks back to you and finds comfort between Charles legs. “I don’t want him to be just mine. I want him to be ours.”

You sit up, eyes looking between Charles and, what is now, your puppy. Your boyfriend looks expectantly, waiting for an answer that comes in the form of a squeak and a kiss.

“I can’t believe you went to get groceries and ended up adopting a dog.”

“About that,” Charles scratches the back of his neck nervously and you know what he’s about to say. “I saw him and forgot about everything else! But I can go to the grocery store this afternoon. He needs more toys, after all.”

“Oh, he’s gonna be so spoiled!”

[nar-nia]

♡ enhypen and things their s/o does to annoy them ♡

//slightly suggestive in some parts. please enjoy 🤭

heeseung - weird petnames

it started as a dumb joke at first

he was saying something and you grinned, replying with a "yes daddy"

AND THE LOOK ON HIS FACE

you never saw him this disgusted

so your plan was clear: use the nickname the entire night

maybe he wouldn't have minded so much if his friends weren't around while you did it... oh well 🤭

he didn't even know your voice could get so whiny

would have dragged you away right then if his friends didn't already have the most annoying grins on their faces

after a while he finally has enough since you just won't stop

so he decides to just play along with it

he goes all in: a hand on your thigh, a "thank you baby" whispered in your ear

he never saw you shutting up this quickly

and the blush on your face?

it was definitely worth it

jay - babying him

this man is so used to babying you

so when you suddenly baby him in return he doesn't know how to react

this just feels wrong to him

he decides to ignore it - maybe it was just an accident

but you just keep doing it, calling him baby and talking in your cute voice

and you're doing it in front of his friends too

so he gets fed UP

he tries being calm at first, he really does

calling you baby too, trying to put you back in your place

but you just won't stop

so finally he's had enough

as soon as you start babying him again he has you on his lap, your arms wrapped around your body to keep you in place

jay's holding onto you, head resting on yours to show you who's the baby

not that you mind though - cuddles are exactly what you wanted all along

jake - not letting him spoil you

jake loves spoiling people. especially you

and normally you don't complain, but you also don't want him to go broke for you

so this time you decided to not comply

"i can buy it myself, don't worry" "why would you do that?"

jake is genuinely confused, silence spreading around the store

he keeps trying it a few times after but you always refuse, telling him you can just buy it yourself

so the case is clear to him

you must not love him anymore

once that thought has come up he gets so pouty

on the one hand you find it funny that he gets sulky over something as simple as this

but on the other hand... he looks genuinely upset and insecure and you feel bad

so you decide to cheer him up and offer to buy him something

but that leaves jake conflicted

because yay, he gets spoiled by his favorite person, but also it should be him spoiling you

he does not know how to react

you eventually give in and let him buy you stuff

and he gets so happy and excited again

you just decide to spoil him with kisses in return

and the promise to never ever do that again

sunghoon - lots of aegyo

he doesn't even know how this started

he just wanted to go on a little weekend trip with you and the guys

but as soon as your plane landed you grabbed his arm, begging to do some sightseeing

but he was tired

instead of accepting his no though you decided you had to convince him

and to sunghoons horror it had to be with aegyo

you went all in: whiny baby voice, big eyes, finger hearts

he was mortified

even worse since you did this in public and in front of his friends

but oh. oh no. this wasn't even the worst part

you weren't the only one that wanted to do some sightseeing

and before sunghoon could react he was surrounded by you, sunoo and jungwon going all out with the aegyo

he just wanted to nap

but he knew this wouldn't stop unless he agreed

so he gives in, agreeing to go sightseeing straight away

best believe that you have to make it up to him after the trip though

sunoo - not babying him

sunoo is the opposite of jay

he is so used to you babying him and taking care of him that everything else feels wrong at this point

it's small things, like how you always buy a pack of mint choco ice cream every time you're shopping together

or how you always hold his hand and drag him around

so why were you not holding his hand right now?

you didn't even really cuddle him when you said hello

but even worse, passed right by the mint choco ice cream??

he is devastated

somehow he manages to make sure that you pass the ice cream section multiple times

he just keeps sighing and throwing glances at his favorite

but you dare to ignore him?? wow

he has the biggest pout on his face

and that won't disappear until you get back home and you drag him to the freezer

revealing multiple mint choco ice creams

sunoo can't help but smile - but he still requires multiple hours of cuddling and lots of kisses to make up for how you treated him today

and his ice cream of course

jungwon - spending too much time with jay

okay listen

jungwon loves you

he loves sharing everything with you

but not jay

those two are soulmates and nothing can come in between them - not even you

so when you suddenly start spending time with jay and not him??

no

he's not even jealous because he wants to spend more time with you

it's simply because he is not willing to let you be best friends with jay

he was there first

and now you two are doing things without him??

you can almost feel his glare whenever you're out

and as soon as you're home and try to talk about your day he just continues glaring at you

he's a bigger gatekeeper than most kpop stans

days like this usually end with you begging for forgiveness until he starts smiling again

you both know it will happen again but jungwon forgives you every time

especially if you promise that it will be the three of you next time

niki - babying him pt. 2

so we all know how he turns ducky plushies into pumas, right?

you had to listen to so many rants about this

he should have known not to trust you with this information

"how's my little ducky today?"

oh the GLARE you are getting as soon as he comes through the door

"what did you call me?"

"my cute little ducky. my ducky wucky. are you in a bad mood?"

oh he is.

"i'm not a duck."

you're just giggling, ignoring how annoyed he is

"ah, i forgot. puma, right?"

he just nods, still wary

"i'm so sorry. did i make my cutesy kitten angry?"

and oh you did

he looks genuinely mad

until you see a spark in his eyes

he knows you're not actually trying to make him angry

it's a sign of love or something

within seconds he has you trapped on the couch, aggressively pinching your cheeks

and wow - you didn't know this man knew so many stupid pet names

he's returning your energy, just 100 times stronger

in the end you're both just giggling and laughing in each other's arms

"i'm still a puma though. i'm cool."

"sure, little ducky."

co-written by the amazing and lovely @ateez-main-yapper ! yes, this started over a discussion about men calling themselves daddy. we do not support this behavior.

if you read it this far please don't hesitate to reblog or send me an ask with your feedback 🩷 i am always happy and excited to hear your opinions. this is also the first time i tried writing in this style so please let me know what you think, that would be very appreciated.

permanent taglist: @suneonu @soobin-chois @sjyuniverse @taekbokki

[zalayni]

⊱ L𖦹VERヾ‧₊

𖦹 pairing: earth 42!Miles morales x reader

𖦹 summary: you were stunned at the fact that Miles willingly pays for everything and anything you want because you were usually the one who paid for stuff in your last relationship.

𖦹 request made by: @fictarian

𖦹 author's note: my bad guys for not posting I just got lazy tbh LMAOOO 🤑

“Mami, I'm your boyfriend, let me pay for you. What's wrong with a little princess treatment for my princesa?"

If anybody told you that the one and only Miles Morales, the Miles that every girl in your school would fall head over heels for, would start dating you, you'd laugh in their face.

“Miles it's okay, they're my stuff so I'm paying for it with my money.” you frowned at him while having your card in your hand.

Miles rolled his eyes and lifted your chin up with his hand to make you look straight at him.

“Just let me spoil my girl, alright?” Miles grinned at you which displayed his dimples that he swore he hated.

You stood there lost for words as Miles tapped his card on the machine, paying for everything you brought up to the counter.

The cashier handed him the big paper bag as Miles thanked them before grabbing a hold of your hand. “Come on mami, where else do you wanna go?”

Miles guided you outside the store and started walking down the mall, looking around for what stores you might want to stop by next.

You squeezed his hand making Miles look at you with his eyebrow raised up in confusion. “What's wrong?”

You looked down at the heavy bags he was carrying which made Miles huff after figuring out what was bothering you again.

“I promise, on my life that it's completely fine. Don't worry about it mi niña hermosa (my beautiful girl)”

You sighed in defeat and rested your head on his shoulder as Miles wrapped one arm around your waist, hand resting on your hip while you two continued to walk down the well lit mall.

“It's just that I'm used to always being the one to pay for stuff. Having the roles switched around is not normal for me.”

You looked up at him only to see that he already had his eyes set on you. You smiled seeing that his pupils had blown wide signaling that he was truly in love with you.

Miles had his signature smirk on his face that complimented his freckles well.

“Better get used to it then mami.” Miles said as his hand on your waist tightened while he went in to kiss your cheek.

“Cause as long as I'm with you, you don't even need to bring your wallet.”

[starkeyisthelastname]

could you write meeting drew at the airport and go ask for a selfie and like minutes later you're sucking him off in a bathroom stall? thank youuu

The airport was quiet for it being the middle of the night, your flight delayed, had you wondering around the small book store near your gate to find something to pass the time. Picking one out, you headed up to the small check out stand where a man stood in front of you, paying for something. You glanced at him twice before realizing who it was. His buzzcut, his structured jawline, and gorgeous blue eyes that shimmered as he spoke.

Drew Starkey from one of your favorite shows happened to be standing before you and you were trying your best not to fan girl. You were about look away went you saw ocean eyes look back at you, a soft smile playing on pink lips.

You blushed, looking down quickly at the ground. You’d didn’t even want to ask for a picture but how many times in your life would this happen? “I’m sorry to bother you, but do you think I could take a selfie with you?” You asked, voice quiet.

Grabbing what he paid for, he nodded. “Not a problem at all.” He said, stepping closer to you. You could smell his cologne, wanting nothing more than to experience getting a hug from him. Taking out your phone, you opened the camera and stood beside him to take a picture. You felt his hand pulled you closer, resting on the small of your back as he smiled. It was the way his eyes looked at you when he pulled back that left your panties feeling damp and cunt fluttering.

“I normally don’t do this..” Drew said, breath hushed as you placed his cock in your mouth. It was big, stretching your lips open as you steadied yourself on the floor of the bathroom. Not the most ideal place, but you didn’t care. “You are prettiest thing I’ve ever seen.” He mumbled.

You hummed around him, wanting to do nothing but please the gorgeous actor. You were almost afraid this was a dream you would soon wake up from. Your eyes looked up at him, not believing that this was happening. His fingers laced through your hair, keeping you close as you moved your mouth up and down.

“Fuck.. you are good, pretty girl.” His voice in a low groan which only made you wetter.

You pulled back, giving him a smile as you were determined to make this a face he remembered. “Thank you.” You said sweetly, rubbing the tip along your lips.

Drew chuckled, taking his own length in his hand to slide back in your wet mouth. “You are gonna make me take you with me.” His voice low as you took his cock further down your mouth.

[reallyromealone]

Can you do a long fic where bakugou has a baby brother like maybe 2 years old?

Title: sibling bonding

Fandom:my hero Academia

Warnings: male reader, baby reader, fluff, big brother Bakugo, soft Bakugo

Notes: I can't promise a long fic as my fic lengths are based off of how much steam I have but ill write what I can

☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️🩷☁️

Bakugo was happy to have the house mostly alone, his parents in Milan for two weeks he had off for a fashion show.

Why was he mostly alone?

Well they couldn't take his little brother, the two year old didn't do planes well and it was just easier to find a sitter or let him stay with someone for the time, usually their aunty. "Uh-oh" (name) said as he dropped his sippy cup carefully lifting it back up before wandering to his brother "ka!" He said happily as he climbed onto the couch "what squirt?" Katsuki said to the young tot who looked at his phone "what do?" He asked as Katsuki got notifications from discord "I'm texting a few friends, they're coming to visit later for a movie" he was always so soft with his brother, sure he was loud as the rest of his family but his baby brother took more after their dad so he always tried to be gentle.

"Oovee?" He asked curiously and Katsuki nodded "yeah a movie, we gotta get some snacks for you and me before it" he said to the boy who smiled "cake!" "No cake but we can get you a cake pop when we get our walk home drink" Katsuki knew how to compromise with the boy who clapped his hands excitedly.

Katsuki helped (name) put on his shoes before putting him on his shoulders, it was easier to do than hold his hands and (name) got to have fun.

The two went to the convenience store as (name) pointed to various snacks, Katsuki having to hinder the boy with the fact he wanted /everything/ the store had to offer but did compromise with some ice cream and little treats for after dinner and such.

"Cake!" (Name) was absolutely thrilled when Katsuki handed him a cake pop, the teen holding the snacks with one hand and had (name) on his hip as they walked home, (name) eating his treat contently, the boy taking a sip from their drink occasionally.

(Name) loved helping his brother, the tot getting to help put things together for the hang out "you get to watch a movie then it's bath time alright?" Katsuki said to his brother who did a little dance before running off to go play with his toys 'weird kid' Katsuki thought fondly as he finished prep.

"YOOOO BAKUBRO!" Kirishima said as he and a few other classmates entered the Bakugo house, Kaminari whistling at how nice it was inside "whose ready to paaaarty!" Mina said as her, ochaco and Momo came inside with snacks "let's watch some scary...shoopuff" mina halted when she saw the two year old in Katsukis arms, little (name) looking curious but recognized Kirishima from a few visits "little man!" Kirishima ran and grabbed the boy and lifted him "what's up!"

"Hiiii!"

"Whose the kid?" Kaminari asked as (name) spoke nonsense to Kirishima but it was probably his day if any context about "walk" and "cake pop" were to go off of "that's my brother" Katsuki said gruffly, a slight glare on his face as his friends looked at the babe curiously.

During the movie, the teens would notice Bakugo would be soft with the boy even when he scolded him "oi, leave that alone" "but you're smelly!" (Name) argued back, holding a book in his hands "put it down and park your ass and watch the movie or its night time" Bakugo said to his brother who huffed but complied "you're not my favorite brother anymore!"

"Ah? And who is?"

"Dad!"

The movie went on well, the group putting on a hero movie and before they knew it, it was (name)s bath time "bubububbub!" (Name) was pleased with the bubbles as he played with his toys, his older brother working around him to wash him "head back" the teen said gruffly as he put a visor on the boys forehead and rinced out the shampoo before repeating it with the conditioner "kaa! Ducky!" The boy squirted some water at his brother who rolled his eyes "wanna see something cool?" He asked his little brother who looked curious "ya!'

Katsuki put his hand in the water and activated his quirk, just enough to give a jacuzzi affect "whoa!" The boy said excitedly as Katsuki pulled his hand out "now, out ya go!"

"Nooo!"

"None of that! Come on, let's brush your fucking teeth and get you to bed brat"

(Name) cuddled into his brothers shoulder as he wore his fuzzy pajamas, the other teens waving him goodnight as Katsuki brought him to his bedroom and tucked him into bed "hah? What's this?" Katsuki held up a small handmade plush of him in his hero suit "Die'ite!" (Name) grabbed the plush and Katsuki felt a small smile creep on his face as his little brother hugged the toy "he a hero you like?"

"He's the bestest!"

[wandasaura]

SONG IN THE CAR

summary — wanda just wants to check that you’re not lying, but you can only keep yourself together for so long before you beg natasha to fuck you in the car

warning(s) — established relationship, married wandanat, dom/sub dynamics, mommy kink, daddy kink, subspace, public play, inspection kink, butt plugs, packing, strap-on usage, mentions of edging, mentions of spanking, doggy style, car sex, semi-public sex, degradation, praise, dumbification, mentions of free use, finger sucking, oral fixation, men/minors dni

authors note — i’m not even going to apologize for what this turned into because once i started i just kept adding the most unhinged things. as always, this doesn’t need to be read with the yail series but it might make more sense if it is. the ending is a wee bit rushed but i wanted to get this out for you, so i hope you enjoy!

you are in love

♥️⊹ ˚ . 18+, men/minors dni ⁺ 𓈒 ꒰💌꒱ ♡ ･ mommy maximoff ✧

A strangled whine falls off the tip of your tongue when Wanda trails her fingers across the small of your back. The interior of the store is cold, the electric hum of an air conditioning unit almost as loud as the music that plays through speakers hidden within different vents around the clothing store. You can’t even fathom what business Wanda and Natasha have being in a shop that’s blasting brain melting pop tracks, but they dragged you inside at the first sight of the large LED letters out front. 

You’ve lost sight of Natasha, the Russian made a dramatic show of escaping toward the back wall merely seconds after Wanda dragged you over to look at a rack of denim shorts. The store was geared more toward a generation around your age, the elements of both boho aesthetic and minimalism felt almost too trendy to be authentic, but if you weren’t so… overwhelmed, to put it sweetly, you would’ve vocalized just how much you liked the style of clothes that sat folded precisely on the shelves surrounding you. 

Wanda’s hand lingered on the small of your back for longer than an appropriate second. Despite the cold store that threatened to erase all memories of the sweltering heat outside, the Sokovian’s hands were the perfect cross between just barely warm and unacceptably frigid. The longer they sat on the exposed skin of your back – the baby tee Natasha had picked out for you to wear hugging your ribs tightly and subsequently allowing both her and Wanda access to your sensitive spine – the harder it became to not envision them falling lower and lower until they found a place between your thighs for the second time that day. 

You weren’t looking at Wanda, intentionally avoiding her strong stare and focusing intensely on the white shelves that adorned the walls. You didn’t need to glance at her to feel the devilish smirk that rested across the very lips that had wrapped around your clit and left you needy only a handful of hours earlier to know that it was there and obnoxious. Natasha had kissed her in the car and claimed smugly that Wanda’s tongue still tasted of you, but neither had offered any assistance in relieving the sticky situation between your thighs. 

 When Wanda’s question went unanswered a second time, the question being if you liked anything in particular around the store, a perfectly sculpted brow rose in your direction and the attention you’d been putting on the racks of clothing became a fascination of the past. A slender finger cradled your jaw, cold against your flushed skin but not icy enough to flinch away from instinctively. The subtle gesture had forced your eyes away from the t-shirts and baby-tees you’d been meticulously staring at, and rather onto a set of twinkling green eyes. Wanda’s lips were still curved upward into a smirk, but they twinged with something dangerous as she set her gaze on your dilated pupils and permanently pink cheeks. 

“Mommy asked you a question, milaya. What’s got you so distracted?” Wanda pouts, her lips teasing and thin as they purse in an attempt to ward off a sickening grin of mischief that she wore mere seconds beforehand. She knows exactly what’s distracting you, she’d been the one to suggest this little game when Natasha decided she wanted to go shopping, but still she feigns innocence as you come undone in a disgusting public mall. 

Despite having an answer on the tip of your tongue, you can’t find the courage to share it with Wanda. There shouldn’t be any reason for you to vocalize your feelings when she’s already aware, despite her trying to break you down time and time again. Instead, you settle for something simple, and certain enough to wind her up a good deal. “Nothing.” The word doesn’t roll off your tongue as easily as you would’ve liked. It’s choppy and cuts like a dagger, but it sits lightly in the air between both of your warm bodies as Wanda takes the time to process what you’ve just said. Or rather, how you’ve just blatantly lied to her. 

“Oh, nothing’s distracting you, baby?” Wanda coos, her head tilting ever so slightly to the side as her eyes threaten to unravel the web of lies you're spinning. You don’t even have a chance to answer before she’s gripping your jaw, the pad of her thumb pressing into the hollow of your cheek while her pointer fingers sentence the other side of your face to the same fate. Her grip is tight, controlling, but not harsh enough to actually hurt. She’s mastered the art of grabbing you in a way that stuns you into submissive silence, and though you’re in public where anyone can see, she doesn’t seem to mind holding all the cards in her one-handed grip.  “So if Mommy put her hand in those pretty panties you’ve got on, she wouldn’t find a sticky mess?” 

There are two choices here, you can either deny the accusation and save a sliver of your dignity that’s waning fast as the day progresses, or you can agree with her accusation and hope that your honesty satisfies her need to be right in this moment; either choice will lead to her hand in your panties, you’re not dumb enough to believe that she’ll drop the act when you’re already this far in, but there’s still defiance burning in your belly that deceives you enough to believe you’ll walk away with the upperhand. Hastily, not thinking much of the consequences, your head shakes from side to side in the negative. You’ve decided to save yourself the embarrassment of admitting that your panties are absolutely drenched by no fault of your own, it’s entirely her fault and she knows that. The movement is little, restrained to small jerks due to the hand on your jaw, but Wanda feels it, and she quirks an eyebrow. “I need words.” She tightens her grip, forces your lips to pucker and your cheeks to ache from how her fingers sit flush against your teeth. 

“N-No.” It takes all of your strength to answer her, and even still all of your mustered up courage leaves a fierce blush sinking into the apples of your cheeks and across the tips of your ears, but a fire lights in Wanda’s eyes at your prolonged battle to remain coherent. You’ve been fighting her on decisions all day, trying to keep your head above the surface and your thoughts clear, but there’s only so much clarity in a moment like this. Nobody can blame you for falling beneath the thumb of the hottest lawyer in the world when you’re quite literally putty in her hands. 

“Oh, well then I guess you won’t mind if I check for myself, will you, detka?” You’d discussed this new kink a week ago. You’d agreed to what she called inspections with no hesitancy, though a healthy bit of embarrassment at the prospect of her being able to feel your sopping cunt whenever she pleased, but you’d agreed and even anticipated the moment she decided to put your agreement to good use. You hadn’t expected her to be so bold as to cash in on your agreement in one of the most densely populated shopping malls in the state of New Jersey, but there was no getting around it now. Still, your eyes fluttered away from hers, anxiously scrounging the small boutique style store for other customers or cameras.

Your eyes only found two figures, and one was distinctly Natasha who had styled her red hair in dutch braids before you left the house. For a second, you wondered if this had been the plan all along; to get you into a store where nobody else dared to shop because of the steep prices and violate you into submission, though you wouldn’t technically call Wanda’s premistion a violation, but… still. The only employee that stood on the floor was a smaller woman with silky chestnut hair, and she occupied a space next to Natasha against the far back wall as the two engaged in a conversation that looked to be revolving around a red bikini top your girlfriend held up to her chest. It complemented her hair nicely, would do absolute wonders for her boobs, but she had no real interest in the article if the pinch between her brows was evidence enough. 

Despite the reassurances you found, you met Wanda’s gaze again and choked out a strangled whisper, “Somebody’s going to see.” The blush on your cheeks was sheerly a factor of your mortification, but Wanda seemed to crave to deepen the sharp color on your face as the hand not gripping your face began its ascent toward your core. The flowy white skirt Natasha had picked out for you allowed her access without a fuss, and when her fingers tickled the sensitive interior of your thighs, you couldn’t help but instinctively part your legs for Wanda’s quest. 

“Shh,” The Sokovian shushed you sweetly, her hand loosening its grip on your jaw but never falling away fully. Her eyes searched yours, practically looking through you as she assured that you were okay to continue, anticipating the moment the safeword fell off your lips and all of her movements stopped. You’d never stop adoring her caution in moments like these. “Let Mommy do the thinking, sweetheart. Little girls don’t need to be worrying about anything other than their Mommy.” Her words fell onto you thickly, and a pout pulled at your lips as they sunk in. That submissive headspace all three of you adored was creeping up on you slowly, and her infantilizing words merely accelerated the process as you blinked at her slowly. 

The hand on your thigh brushed across your mound tauntingly slow, and for a second, you’d forgotten that you weren’t going to receive anything from her touch when it finally came. There would be no pleasure to spiral through your core when her fingers found a home beneath the drenched material of your panties. All that would come from her touch was embarrassment and more frustration. You gasped when Wanda’s ring trailed down the warm skin of your cunt, tracing a path downward until it fell onto your clit almost perfectly. Your hips startled at the cold sensation, but Wanda merely shushed you as the tips of her fingers sought out the source of your arousal. She hummed inquisitively, the pad of her finger pressing against your sopping entrance for merely a moment before it was gone and she was trailing strings of your wetness back up to your clit. 

“You’re so wet, utenok. No wonder you’re having such a hard time listening to Mommy. I bet it’s so hard to think when your pretty little pussy is just crying for attention.” Wanda mused mockingly, the pads of her fingers circling your clit that throbbed and ached for actual relief, but the pleasure never came. As quickly as her hand had dipped into your underwear and sought out your intimacy, they’d fallen away and resettled on your hips. The sticky thinness of your arousal smeared against your exposed skin kissed beautifully from the summer sun, and you knew she had every intention of making you walk through the mall with a patch of glimmering dampness adorning your body that you’d never have the courage to explain if someone questioned it. A deep blush settled across your cheeks, but Wanda wasn’t finished yet. Before you could reach out to her and tangle your fingers into the softness of her t-shirt, she was spinning you around and forcing your back against her chest. “Mommy’s not finished yet. Be a good girl and stay quiet while she checks something.” 

You’d almost had the chance to question her intentions before the words were stolen from between your bitten lips and the softest gasp of pleasure fell from you instead. Wanda’s fingers, still glistening with your arousal, had found a home beneath your skirt and against the base of the plug nestled deep within your ass. You’d only started trying the plugs out a couple weeks ago, but in that span of less than fourteen days they’d become something you adored and hated equally. The deep pleasure that came from constantly feeling full was insatiable and you craved it whenever Natasha pulled it out too soon, but you’ve grown to hate how every soft step shifted it against you perfectly, and especially how no matter which position you attempted to sit in it presses deeper and deeper into you without remorse. Wanda’s fingers circle the crimson red jewel framed between the globes of your ass, cheeks still pink from a spanking you’d received yesterday. The touch is soft, gentle, caring even, but when you think she’s about to pull away and end her little experiment, she taps harshly on the center plug twice, sending sparks of pleasure through your body and into your already fuzzy head. 

“So full for Mommy. Those panties are absolutely ruied, moya lyubov’.” Wanda pulls her hand out of your panties, spinning you back around in her arms and cradling you close to her chest as you shake and try to comprehend the fact that for right now, that simple touch was all you’d be getting. You’d think she almost felt an ounce of sympathy for your desperate form if she wasn’t wearing such a cocky smirk. “You’re being such a good girl, detka. Maybe we should keep you like this, huh? All full and eager to be fucked. Daddy could just bend you over anywhere and you’d take it, wouldn’t you?” Wanda preened into your ear, her words thick with lust and traces of an accent you’ve begun to memorize. You’re not sure whether to nod your head and agree, because it’s true, you’d let Natasha fuck you anywhere she wanted to right now, you’re not oblivious to the fact that she’s packing your favorite strap beneath those denim shorts adorning her toned legs, or to shake your head and beg for her to not let that happen. You’re not sure you’ll be able to survive in this state for another couple hours, let alone for however long they deem acceptable. “Huh, answer Mommy, baby. Do you want Mommy to keep you like this forever? Want to be ready to use whenever Mommy and Daddy feel the need to take you?” 

“I-I want you, Mommy.” You pleaded, shaking your head frantically at the suggestion that rolls off of Wanda’s lips like its been imprinted onto the tip of her tongue for decades. The Sokovian smirks, drawing you in closer to her chest and letting her forehead rest against yours, her deep sage eyes peering into your soul with how intensely she stares down at you. 

“You have me, baby.” She soothed your downturned lips with a gentle kiss, her touch soft and smooth yet harboring a lingerance of artificial strawberry chapstick if you thought about her taste long enough. The embrace was fleeting, entirely too short, but it had your head spinning when she pulled away and greeted Natasha who you hadn’t even noticed had come up beside you. “Come on,” Wanda patted your ass deliberately, jostling the plug just softly enough to have you hyper aware of its presence but not earning pleasure. “we still have a couple of stores to hit.” 

“I was thinking we stop by that store you like, ducky. We can see if they have any of those little pins you were talking about?” Natasha places a firm hand on your back, her eyes kind but tinted with lust that has settled deep within her stare permanently since Wanda wiggled the plug between your cheeks. There’s a hint of knowingness in her smile, an indication that she knows perfectly well what had just happened between you and her wife. 

The proposition of spending another handful of hours surrounded by incompetent strangers with no regard for others and continuous sounds that blended into static chatter didn’t sound appealing, but unless you called red, they weren’t taking you home. Reluctantly, you took Natasha’s hand, allowing the lawyer to lead you out of the boutique and toward a store much more your style. Wanda’s hand stayed firm on the small of your back as Natasha took the lead, but your focus had fallen beneath the waves as you surrendered to them entirely. 

-

A desperate whine slipped past your lips as Wanda pulled you into her chest, toned arms still warm from the sun wrapping tightly around your torso and keeping you still. The dressing room was saturated in gold plated decor and embellishments, illuminated by a chandelier framed with dazzling crystals worth more than your entire college education. Natasha had dragged the both of you into the high-end designer store with the hopes of them having their new summer collection, and much to your annoyance, they did. The bold colored suits were a powerful statement, she’d look absolutely delectable in them, but that was exactly what you were worried about. The thought of her in a suit so expensive and sleek sent tingles through your belly that couldn’t just be ignored, especially not with your already existing desperation. Wanda wasn’t blind to your frustration, and she smirked wickedly down at you the second Natasha had slipped behind the heavy fitting room door. 

“Shh, Mommy just wants to check.” She whispered against the shell of your ear, a cold hand trailing up the inside of your thigh that is absolutely drenched with arousal. Your eyes burn into hers as you both become controlled by lust, already blown pupils somehow finding additional blackness to manipulate until the color in Wanda’s eyes is entirely vacant. Your bottom lip is bitten and quivering as you feel her fingers start to massage your slick coated folds, a shaky breath at the back of your throat desperate to be unleashed. “Oh, you’re so wet sweetheart. Did Mommy do this to you?” 

You nod shortly at her question, aware of how close the tips of her cold fingers are coming to your clit every time she strokes the length of your folds, but each time they never brush against your stiff and throbbing nerve, merely coming close enough to tease before they’re gone. She circles your entrance repetitively, pressing against it only to pull away seconds later and trail her fingers back down toward the plug, but she never fully grazes that either. She’s content to keep playing with your body like a toy in the middle of the fitting room, her lewd actions have entirely drowned out the sounds of Natasha throwing different articles of clothes around in the dressing room just a few feet behind you, your focus entirely on her and the sensations she’s provoking cautiously. 

“Oh she did? Mommy did this? What a little slut, getting so worked up and Mommy’s not even touching you fully. You’re so easy, dorogaya” Wanda continues to tease condescendingly, giving you not a single second of relief as she digs her fingers harder into your cunt on the last swipe across your panties before she’s hooking her fingers into the waistband and tugging them down. 

Your eyes go wide as you look up at her fully, your shoulders tensing as she keeps tugging the soiled garment down your thighs. “W-What are you doing?” Your skirt is short, it’s flowy and it’s thin but that was Natasha’s entire goal when she dressed you that morning. You know that despite the length every intimate part of your body is covered, but you weren’t prepared to challenge the wind once you stepped outside again. 

“Color?” Wanda stops her movements, her voice soft and kind as she keeps her eyes on you. Everything before this point had been a discussion that you’d had time to prepare yourself for, but this was unplanned and admittedly terrifying, and yet your belly clenched at the prospect of her undressing you in a public space and forcing you to walk around with no barrier to catch your arousal. 

“G-Green.” You mumbled back at her once you’d taken a second to collect your thoughts and swallow your shock. Wanda nodded curtly before she slipped right back into her role, eyes hard and jaw clenched as she continued pulling your panties down before tapping your thigh in a silent demand for you to step out of them. 

“Then stop talking and let Mommy do what she wants.”  Her voice was hard, leaving no space for you to argue, but you weren’t going to. You stepped out of your panties with a gentle wince, feeling their dampness against your shins before the sensation was gone entirely and Wanda was holding them up to the light to inspect. Your cheeks flushed in humiliation, watching her fingers swipe across the soaked material before she hummed and folded them up, shoving them into her back pocket like they were just a piece of paper she’d found on the ground. “Good girl.” 

You bristled beneath her praise, but your attention drifted away from her when you heard the door unlock and Natasha’s soft footsteps came stepping out slowly. There was no question about whether she had heard the entire exchange, but you had no time to pay attention to her cheeks flush with need as you drank in the sight of her in a hundred thousand dollar suit. If your eyes weren’t already blown wide with lust, they certainly were now as you gawked at her defined biceps and breasts, the suit drowning some of her more prominent features but highly accentuating others. A rippled whine fell off your tongue as your eyes memorized the sight, but so badly you wanted to rip it off her body and drag her home to appreciate her fully. 

“P-Please.” You just barely got the plea off of your lips as Wanda sparked up a conversation with her wife, commenting on the fit of the suit before she began her shower of compliments and praise. You’d gone ignored, or maybe they just hadn’t heard you, whatever the reason for their silence toward you, it only frustrated you further. “Daddy please!” You tried again, eyes wet and pleading as you held onto the little attention Natasha was providing you as her eyes danced away from Wanda’s and found yours beneath the bright LED lights. 

“Shh.” Wanda scolded, a finger coming up to sit on your lips as she turned her head to glare at you. It wasn’t intentional, but your lips had done it anyway. The second her finger, still soft from your arousal, brushed against your lips, you’d let your tongue poke out and lick at her finger, able to identify the traces of you that clung to her skin despite how she’d wiped her fingers clean on your outer thigh. Your lips wrapped around the digit, suckling and biting sweetly as the blanket over your mind became thicker and warmer. Wanda didn’t stop you, merely returned her attention to Natasha before the Russian nodded and disappeared back into the fitting room, hopefully changing back into her own clothes. “Mommy needs that back, little one.” Wanda said softly, gently easing her finger from between your lips when it became apparent that you weren’t going to relinquish it yourself. A pitiful whine came falling off the tip of your tongue when she pulled it away, but she merely smiled sweetly and kissed the top of your head. “Come on, Daddy’s gonna check out and then we’re going to go home.” 

You shook your head, absolutely appalled at the suggestion that you’d have to wait until you arrived home to get what you wanted. The mall wasn’t far, but an hour was a long time for someone who had been teased and dragged along relentlessly since the sun had first kissed the gravel paths that weaved and winded through Westview. 

“No?” Wanda furrowed her brows, looking down at you with nothing but softness in her still black and lust filled stare. She’d dropped the condescending tone, abandoned the fleeting touches and teasing, but the only thing that would fully cure the arousal in her eyes was getting a taste of your sweet pussy. 

The words felt heavy on the tip of your tongue, but you couldn’t last another hour without release, and so they found their way off of your lips before you could panic about the implications of your request, “Fuck me now.” 

Wanda’s eyebrows shoot up in surprise, but that look of shock that claimed her strong features had quickly become something sinister as she stepped closer to you, invading your personal space and allowed you the slightest tinge of her perfume as her chest came flush with yours and she let a single finger tilt your head upward to meet her heavy stare. “Yeah? You want your Daddy to put that strap to use and treat you like a filthy little slut where anyone can hear you crying out in pleasure? You want an audience, moya utenok?” 

A whimper filled the dressing room as your thighs pressed together, your lack of panties leaving the rush of arousal to drip nowhere by your thighs as you writhed beneath Wanda. A soft nod came next, and Wanda smirked proudly, mimicking your gesture before she stepped away entirely and turned her attention back to Natasha who had only just left the dressing room with the suit thrown over her forearm. 

“Hurry up, moya lyubov’. The little slut wants her Daddy to fuck her and who am I to say no to that?” Wanda taunted, grabbing your hand and leading you back out into the store, letting Natasha check out in peace as she occupied you with whispered promises of how the Russian was going to absolutely ruin you where anyone was around to watch. 

-

The only saving grace about Natasha’s car were the tinted windows that blocked out the eyes of anyone who dared to even get close to the Stingray. The seat was drenched in your arousal, thighs spread wide as you occupied almost the entire strip of leather. She’d need to clean the seats thoroughly when you got home, but for right now, neither of you cared. Your hands sunk into the cushioned row of seats as you pressed your ass out further, back arched and muscles strained as you dropped your forehead onto the window and watched with slitted eyes as your breath fogged up the glass. Wanda watched from the passenger seat, green eyes trained on your desperate form that reflected off the rearview mirror pointed downward. Natasha was pressed up against the door, shorts unzipped and hanging loosely over her hip bones as the strap stood at full attention, no longer confined beneath the stiff denim. 

Your skirt was bunched up around your hips, ass and thighs already red from various hits and spanks that the Russian had laid upon your ivory skin. She’d yet to touch you, but each hit that rocked the plug in your ass sent you reeling closer and closer to ultimate pleasure. All you could make out was white spots as they danced along your vision and intercepted the view of strangers and cars wrecking havoc in the parking lot around you. Even when a middle aged man and his wife had gotten close to the car, shopping bags in each of their hands that you could only assume was a pending return, you hadn’t focused much on what they could see from the outside. Your focus was entirely on Natasha, and yet the lawyer hadn’t done anything since bending you over. 

“D-Daddy please! I need you so bad! Please!” You cried out in desperation, back arching further as your nipples grazed the seats, your ass grinding against the strap that she refused to shove into you just yet. What she was waiting for, you didn’t know, but every agonizing second that passed was becoming longer and longer as you waited for relief to wash over you fully. Only she could get you to that point, and yet no matter how much you pleaded with her she didn’t cave. “P-Please!” A strangled cry slipped past your lips when her hand found your ass and her thumb pressed firmly on the jeweled plug nestled between your cheeks. 

“Shh.” The Russian coos. It’s the first sound that’s come to fill the car that wasn’t your own since she had aggressively shoved you into the backseat, and you greedily drink in the unspoken promise that what you want is coming soon. You have no time to prepare yourself for the intrusion of her strap as it slips between your folds and finds a home within your cunt in seconds, but you gasp so sweetly that Natasha doesn’t stop to give you a moment to adjust to the wide girth that’s splitting you open. You’ve wanted this for hours, she’s in no mood to drag your pleasure out any further, having already tested her own patience as she waited for Wanda’s silent permission to begin. You’d been oblivious to the curt nod that was given by the Sokovian, but as much as the game was in Natasha’s hands now, Wanda still held all the cards. “Do you feel that, malyshka? Feel Daddy’s cock splitting you open? Filling this slutty little pussy where anyone can see if they come close enough. I bet you’re so full. This pretty little plug has been driving you crazy all day, hasn’t it? Mommy picked out such a pretty color for you.” As the words drive you farther and farther into pleasure and submission, Natasha’s thumb presses against the plug and sends your mind spiraling downward into a sea of static energy. There’s a thick ringing in your ears that forces your mind to go blank, your hips that had been stuttering against her quick thrusts stilling as you surrendered your body to her control, willing to take whatever she gave you in this very moment. 

Natasha’s thrusts only grow faster as your moans and whines become softer and sweeter, desperation not only evident in the way your arousal soaks your thighs and the seats, but in the pitch of your moans as they fill the car and ricochet off the windows. You don’t have it in you to feel embarrassed by how loud you’re being, your only focus is taking the pleasure and not letting it slip away again. A broken cry leaves your lips as Natasha’s hand finds your clit, thumb rubbing circles on the sensitive nub as she winds you tighter and tighter. Her own thrusts are becoming choppy and quick, groans of pleasure harmonizing with yours until the entire car is just an explicit symphony of intimacy. Wanda’s eyes haven’t left you once, but you can’t see her with the way you’re bent and arched over. Natasha can, and she curses beautiful in Russian as she gives you the green light to let go. 

“Come on, sweetheart. Cum for me. Cum on Daddy’s strap.” She encourages gently, her thrusts growing harsher as she chases her own pleasure and orgasms with a delicate moan, though it's quickly drowned out by your own sobs and cries of bliss as you writhe beneath her heavy hands and let the coil snap in your belly. Your body shakes in the aftermath, arms giving out on you as you crash against the leather seats and subsequently pull your cunt off of her strap, the glistening material catching rays of sunlight before she quickly tucks it back into her shorts and zips them up. “You did so good for us, malyshka. So so good.” Natasha kisses the bottom of your spine, her fingers working on the plug in your ass simultaneously. Wanda maneuvered herself in the passenger seat, her hand reaching out to just barely brush against your upper back as well. “Relax for me, angel. Let Daddy take this plug out and then we’ll go home.” She talks you through the process, but nothing prepares you for how empty you feel when the metal is no longer flush against your walls keeping you full. A strangled whimper falls off your lips before it’s gently drowned out by shushing and shuffling. Natasha, unwilling to let you go through aftercare in a crowded parking lot all twisted up, opens the door and steps out of the car, nodding for Wanda to occupy a seat in the back beside you. “Mommy’s gonna sit back here with you, and Daddy’s gonna take us home. Just let go, honey. It’s all okay.” 

It doesn’t take longer than five minutes for Wanda to be sat beside you, your body curled up into her chest and void of a seatbelt. Typically she’d scold you for such a behavior, but all she does now is hold you tighter and kiss your head, promising that you’ll be home soon and there will be plenty of cuddles and kisses all wrapped up beneath the heavy blankets on the bed.

[estrellami-1]

Ten Minutes

Didn’t love this when I first wrote it. Left it in my drafts for a LONG freakin’ time. Found it again and no longer care, so here yall go; have fun! Probably not a part 2 to this one.

Steve takes a breath, then another, as he waits for the line to connect. He grits his teeth, feeling eyes on him. He does his best to ignore them.

“Munson residence, if you’re calling about the murders I’ve been absolved of, try going to hell instead.”

“I need you to pick me up.”

A pause. “Stevie?”

Steve takes another breath. Tries to unclench his jaw. “Please.”

“Yeah, of course, I’ll be right there- what-”

“My parents are in town.”

Another pause. “I’ll be there in ten. Try not to kill them.”

Steve laughs humorlessly. “Just hurry.”

“Ten minutes,” Eddie says, and hangs up.

Steve sighs, places the phone in its socket, and turns back to face his parents.

His mother is narrowing her eyes at him. “Who was that?”

“A friend,” he says lightly.

“Who, that Hagan boy?” His father scoffs.

“No. Not Tommy. I haven’t spoken to him in years.”

“Oh, Steve,” his mother tuts. “Always so dramatic. We’ve not even been gone a year-”

Steve laughs. It sounds hollow. “Try four years,” he informs her. “And three concussions. Did you hear about the mall two years ago? Or the boy who went missing four years ago?” He shakes his head when his mother looks at him blankly. “That’s what I thought.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” his father snaps. “And don’t you dare speak to your mother in that tone again, Steven. You’re still a child and I won’t hesitate to reprimand you as such.”

“I’m twenty,” Steve says evenly. “I’ll be twenty-one in five months.” He crosses his arms. “The last time you saw me, I was a freshman in high school. I’ve graduated. I found jobs. Lost some friends and made some better ones.”

“And what of that girl you were dancing around?” His mother asks. “Karen’s daughter?”

“We’re friends,” he says shortly, then moves through the kitchen, to the stairs. “Excuse me.”

“No,” his father says. “You’re not excused. Where do you think you’re going?”

Steve turns, one hand on the bannister, to look at the man who had terrified him the last time he’d seen him. It’s funny what interdimensional threats will do. “To pack a bag. I’m not going to stay here while you are.”

“And if I were to say we’re staying for good?”

Steve laughs. “Dad, you’ve said that before. Multiple times, actually. Those words mean nothing to me anymore.”

“And where are you planning on staying?” His mother asks. “Honestly, Steven, I thought we raised you to make better decisions than this.”

“Oh, I see. So it was raising me when I woke up at nine years old to discover you’d left and I’d have to find my own way to school. Then a week later when I had to ride my bike to the store to buy groceries. At eleven, when I looked the school counselor in the eye and said you’d be back soon. I had to go to my own parent-teacher conferences. At fifteen, trying to figure out high school classes. At seventeen when I got my first concussion. At eighteen when I signed my first legally-binding NDA. You hadn’t abandoned me. You were raising me.” He sighs, shakes his head. “Forgive me if I don’t believe you.”

He makes his way up to his room and packs as much as he can. Clothes. Vinyls. The box of cash under the loose floorboard. Then into the bathroom. Toothbrush, deodorant, even his shampoo. Doubles back into his room to grab a bracelet off his nightstand; one El made him.

He looks around, grabs the nail bat, and makes his way downstairs. His mother gasps when she sees him. “What on earth is that?”

He looks at the bat. Adjusts his grip, twirls it around. “An NDA.”

The doorbell rings. Steve grabs his bags and moves towards it. “If you walk out that door, you’ll never walk back in.”

“Fine by me,” Steve says. He grabs his keys, tosses the house key at his father, and pockets the rest.

He opens the door and grins at Eddie, who’s looking at him worriedly. “Hey, Eds. Ready to go?”

Eddie blinks. “Um. Sure? Are you okay?”

“Sure,” Steve shrugs. “I’m getting kicked out. If you don’t want to take me I’ll just go bug Robin. It’ll only be for a little while, though, just until I find a better job and an apartment or something.”

“Like hell Wayne’s gonna miss this chance,” Eddie grins. “You know you’re his favorite.”

Steve smiles back, tosses his things into the back of Eddie’s van. “I hoped you were gonna say that.”

Permanent Taglist: @justforthedead89 @ilovecupcakesandtea @madigoround @bookbinderbitch @suddenlyinlove @nburkhardt @artiststarme @paintsplatteredandimperfect @i-less-than-three-you @alyelf @quarble @messrs-weasley @littlewildflowerkitten @vankaar @starman-jpg @bornonthesavage @steddie-there @goodolefashionedloverboi @andienotannie @cinnamon-mushroomabomination @platinum-sunset @just-ladyme @steddiestains @swimmingbirdrunningrock @imhereforthelolzdontyellatme @martinskis-lydias @notaqueenakhaleesi @sleepyboosstuff @bestwifehaver @m-owo-n @thatonebadideapanda @finalmoondragon @velocitytimes2 @callmeanythjing @ajeff855 @ilikeititspretty @knitsforthetrail @sillysparrow @that-one-corvid @ace-is-bored @muricel @harpymoth @weirdandabsurd42

[gloomygumi]

quirks - satoru gojo x gn!reader

summary: part two︱you like to think you’re aware of all of satoru’s quirks, but shoko thinks you may have missed a few.

contents: fluff, newly realised feelings, highschool!gojo, he's honestly not even actually there for a lot of it, shoko and geto are tho, honestly a little bit of whipped gojo, probably ooc but definitely self indulgent

word count: 1.2k

a/n: how are we coping since 236 guys ????? wrote this feeling like i’d been widowed so i guess this counts as my coping mechanism 😭 hope you enjoy anyway, constructive criticism and any ideas or opinions you have are always welcome !!

in your past year of knowing satoru gojo, you’d made a note of his multiple quirks.

you noticed how when the group of second years went out to eat together at the weekends, he would whine about how good everyone else’s food looks until everyone at the table took pity (or annoyance, in suguru’s case) and spooned some of their meal onto his plate.

you noticed how when he was in class, listening to yaga drone on about the different types of curses, he would never let all of the legs of his chair rest on the ground. he was constantly swinging back and forth. it’s a miracle that he’s never fallen back, you think.

you even noticed how he somehow kept a momento from every single hangout and mission, each of them stored in a little wooden box he kept on his bedside table back in the dorms. in the past, you’d seen him slide seemingly worthless ticket stubs and receipts into his pockets, and when the curiosity finally got the better of you and you asked what he did with them, you only received a cheeky grin and a wink from your friend.

so, when shoko finally told you some of her own observations of his behaviours and habits during your lunch break one day, it’s safe to say it shocked you.

“i think it’s pretty obvious that he likes you.” she speaks casually, as if her words hadn’t caused you to choke on your own food. she passes you her bottle of water and pats your back. “you couldn’t tell?”

after gulping down half of her water, and spluttering a few times, you finally found your voice, letting out a strangled “he’s my friend - he does not like me like that!”

the look shoko gives you is one of ridicule, but before she can say anything else, you quickly continue.

“how’d you even come to that conclusion anyway, you’re not usually much of a gossip. that’s suguru’s job." you attempt to joke, but you feel the strained smile drop from your face as the boy you mentioned approaches the table and plops down beside your friend.

speak of the devil...

you see shoko's eyes light up, but before you can even attempt to cut her off again, she turns to suguru. "geto! back me up here, isn't it so obvious that gojo likes (y/n)?"

"mhm." he hums, barely even acknowledging the fact that his confirmation has sent you spiraling for the second time. "he's not exactly subtle about it."

"you guys are being ridiculous."

now it's suguru's turn to look at you like you've suddenly grown two heads. "you really didn't know?"

shoko lets out a laugh at his genuine confusion, and reaches into her bag to pull out a cigarette. you quickly hand her a lighter you keep on hand just for moments like this and she quietly thanks you before continuing. "have you never noticed how he's always touching you in some way?"

"that's just how he is!" you defend. "he's always hanging off of suguru too!"

the pair in front of you share a look, before geto continues. "what about how he never lets you walk closest to the road?"

you stop for a second, trying to pinpoint an occasion - just one - where he had only to come up empty handed. in fact, the more you think about it, the more sense it makes. you replay your moments walking back to the dorms after class with satoru, with his arm always casually wrapped around your shoulder. you remember how he always looked comfortable and at peace. you even remember how he would gently bump you closer into the sidewalk if you were walking with someone else, sticking his tongue out at you and ruffling your hair if you voiced a complaint at his behaviour.

your mouth dries up as you try to come up with another excuse to brush off your friends' observations, but you start to question yourself.

maybe they're right...?

you shake you head, as if trying to clear your head of these thought. "he does that for everyone, you guys are just reading too much into it."

between drags of her cigarette, shoko chuckles. "he's never done it for me." geto leans forward from his seat across from you and gently flicks in between your eyebrows. your hand immediately clamps down on the spot, and you groan at him. "what was that for!?"

he ignores your dramatics. "why are you so sure that we're lying?"

his genuine question makes you stop to think. it wasn't that you didn't like gojo, in fact, you hadn't dedicated much time to thinking about him in that way at all. your friends being so insistent on the fact that he liked you made you slowly start to realise that maybe you did share some affections for the ill mannered boy.

you continue to mull over as many interactions and memories that you have shared with satoru, slowly connecting the dots in your head. he always was more gentle with you, never polite but always kind. he regularly brought you souvenirs back from missions that you weren't assigned to and he always insisted on sitting next to you on the train home, offering you the window seat every single time.

almost as if they can hear your inner monologue being to spiral, shoko pipes up once more. "he gave you a different ring tone so he'd know every time you call."

you feel your heart stop for a second, unsure as to why this in particular made you finally believe their words, but before you even have the opportunity to dismiss them again (now in an attempt to convince yourself more than them) you feel the seat beside you sink with additional weight and a familiar arm flung around your shoulder. you barely even register the smug smile shoko is flashing you from across the table as you focus on attempting to cool your face.

"i can't believe you guys started eating without me!" satoru whines, leaning even more heavily into your side. he makes quick work of plucking a large chunk of meat out of your bento, sending you a sly grin as you look up at him in dismay. "what were you guys talkin' about?"

suguru meets your eyes, raising his eyebrows as he meets your glare, urging him to shut his mouth. "oh nothing." he hums, before completely changing the subject.

the conversation from moments prior is still fresh in your mind, and you're now very aware of the soft glances gojo keeps sending your way. you suddenly feel a lot more awkward in his presence, and you barely notice how you're fidgeting with your hands under the table and not participating in the conversation anymore.

that is until you feel warm hands grip your own, effectively halting their movement. "you okay?" you can barely hear satoru over the blood pumping in your ears, and you're unaware of the laughs shoko and geto are trying desperately to hold back whilst watching the scene as you try to speak.

you start to wish your friends had kept their observations to themselves.

[targaryenluvs]

we can send in ideas you say 👀 dark! Cory with a reader who’s not so inclined to behave and listen to him, being bratty, turning him away, embarrassing him in public ….. his frail ego would shatter (and who knows what he’d do to her 🫣🫣)

TEMPER TANTRUM

pairing: president!coriolanus snow x fem!bratty!reader

summary: you were the daughter of one of the richest couples of panem. everything you’ve ever wanted, handed to you. coriolanus had a short temper and you were stubborn. who knows what could happen?

warnings: arguments, bratty reader, public scenes, punishments, kinda smutty, fingering, not proof read i’m lazy

a/n: stand up and fight back to that rude bitch babe

they’d messed up your order. again.

you’d ordered three dresses, all pink and one was too small. you’d already returned it multiple times but apparently the shop owner was incompetent. did he know who you were? the first lady of panem deserved nothing but the best and this imbecile couldn’t even do his job.

you’d give him another chance you figured. “soreen!” you shouted out as you heard the pitter patter of footsteps on the floor. “yes mrs snow?” you sighed, “pull the car around please. we’re going down to the genevieve store.” she nodded before scurrying away to arrange your mode of transportation.

the car ride was smooth, much to your relief. you needed at least one thing to go right today, and the car ride helped boost your morale as you pulled up in front of the aforementioned store. “here we are mrs snow.” your driver spoke as he promptly exited the vehicle to open your door, “thank you phillip.” he tipped his cap to you before shutting your door, “i’ll be waiting ma’am.”

the store was quite large, for someone who hadn’t been there before it was quite easy to lose your way. but you knew exactly where you were headed, walking a path of determination as you reached the front desk. a young lady, clearly disengaged from her job sat filing her nails at the desk. “what do you want?” your face twisted into a disingenuous smile, this was going to be fun, you thought. you cleared your throat as you placed your handbag down with care.

“mrs y/n snow, here for adina?” the girl looked close to tears as a string of apologies fell through her lips, “let me go get him, again, i cannot express my apologies mrs snow.” you’d already turned around to sit at one of the many chairs strewn about.

adina was frantic.

he sure as hell wasn’t expecting the first lady of panem, in his store, by herself. nonetheless, he quickly nodded along to her explanation of her dilemma, the dresses, the sizes, the unresponsive customer aid line.

you’d walked out of the store were five new dresses, all free of cost. a successful day in your eyes. the whisperings were there, of how the last store clerk who’d kept you waiting went out of business. or how the cook whose meal caused you to choke had his hand cut off. mistakes were made in the process of the workers bending over backwards to produce the upmost quality service for the presidents darling wife.

who was known for her own expensive tastes.

and god help anyone who kept her waiting.

the dress was for a charity event that night. coriolanus of course didn’t want to go, but it was seen as beneficial to his own cause to be seen out and about, especially at a high profile event. whereas you on the other hand? you’d ordered three new dresses, five now, two new pairs of heels and that jewellery set you’d been eyeing up for a while.

coriolanus wanted to get through the night, that was it. the office was as stressful as ever, his secretary was out sick, so a fill-in took her place, stuttering every time he spoke to her and messed up his meetings of the day. but since marrying you, coriolanus knew nothing was ever easy with you.

you prided yourself on your unpredictability. to keep people on their toes. you loved being able to stick out from the rest, keep people guessing. and most of all, you loved being seen, admired. you were never one to be tame, coriolanus knew it. you always tested his patience and temper.

but this?

you’d worn a burgundy gown, off the shoulder, floor length and a v-cut too low for his likes. the one dress out of five he’d disapproved of. you’d disobeyed him purposefully, coriolanus hoped you’d grow out of old habits, but again they die hard.

the eyes were on you like vultures, his wife.

he’d deal with you later, just get through the night.

“and that dress! it’s certainly, something.” you didn’t know the girls name, but her face seemed familiar. “why thank you! coriolanus had picked out some others but then again what do men know about women’s fashion?” the woman’s slack jaw caused you to giggle, “well aren’t you fiery! the president has a lot on his hands with you.”

you tossed your hair behind as you took a sip from your glass, “well i’m sure if he can handle a whole country,” you leaned in before whispering, “he can try his best to handle me.” coriolanus saw red. one night, without your antics was all he’d wished for. the dress and your behaviour had sent him over the edge.

“miss.” coriolanus acknowledged the woman as he grabbed a hold of your hand, “president snow! how nice it is to see you here, and your donation! how splendid.” coriolanus’s charm seemed to switch on instantaneously, “anything for the, good cause.” coriolanus couldn’t give a flying fuck about the cause let alone remember what it was. “it’s time for us to go.”

you had an image, pristine and clear. a lovely woman, kind and respectful. at times naive but overall a caring wife. your slick words, which charmed any man or woman, your striking beauty and sweet personality.

but at your core you, like your husband. couldn’t care less, it was one of the reasons you got along so well. it was all a facade and coriolanus was the only person who knew the real you. much to his chagrin, the real you was a total bitch. a smooth talker with a pretty face who got everything she wanted. you’d never wanted to marry him in the first place, so it seemed to be your personal mission to embarrass the poor man.

“if you’re tired then head on home love. i know you need your hours of sleep, cranky without them!” you made him sound like child without his favourite toy, unable to go on until he had it again. “sweetheart, you know we go home together. now come along.” his tone was nothing like the fake warmth it mimicked, you were on thin ice. “yes i know, honey, but you’re not incapable of returning home without me now are you? i’m sure the driver remembered the directions for you.” you pinched his cheek. pinched. his. cheek.

you may as well have started praying for your soul.

so he left, alone.

you had no clue as to why you wanted to stay. it’s not as if there was someone actually worthwhile to engage in conversation with, but you just wanted to be out of the house. you had to soak up your time outside while it lasted you assumed. coriolanus wouldn’t be letting you out anytime soon, especially after what you’d said that night.

the door slammed shut as you hung up your coat next to corio’s. you took a deep breath in before exhaling. it was going to be a long night.

“did you have fun?” corio was sat in a large, plush, arm chair, swirling a drink in his hand. you could only wonder how many he’d had in the hours by himself. “i did.” your voice was gentle, the house quiet in the dead of night. but the large mansion echoed, he would’ve heard you anyways.

“hm.” he feigned interest in your response. all he wanted was to put you in your place. “corio?” he turned to view you, whilst you walked over before situating yourself on his arm chair. but as soon as you did his glass clattered onto the side table as he rose up. “we’re going to bed.” you weren’t sure if he’d snap if you protested, your feet were aching and you found it best not to argue.

you should’ve known it wouldn’t be that easy, which is how you ended up fully exposed whilst coriolanus was fully dressed. “please.” you’d been on your back for the last, ten? twenty? “please what?” coriolanus liked to put you in your place, it was one of his favourite things to do since you forgot it so often. “touch me.” his hand slipped into your panties, fingers sliding into your already soaking hole as you clutched onto his shoulders.

he’d been teasing you for what felt like forever and you felt you were finally done with it. “close your eyes.” he whispered as his fingers slid out, eliciting a whine from your throat, but you listened, closing your eyes, wondering what he’d do.

it’d been a minute since corio spoke and you were feeling restless. on one hand you could wait for him to speak up, allow you to open your eyes. on the other, you opened them to peek at what he was doing and he dragged out your punishment.

and to your right lay your husband, asleep. “corio!” you groaned out before shoving his shoulder, “you didn’t think i was going to fuck you tonight? after the shit you pulled? you have fingers, use them.” and coriolanus fell asleep soundly to your attempts to finish off without him.

now that, would teach you a lesson.

[atticrissfinch]

The Night Is Dark Enough We're Only Seeing Stars  | (joel miller x fem!reader) (18+)

Part 2 of Meet Me in the Back

pairing: sleazy gas station clerk!joel miller x fem!reader summary: You can’t resist another visit to Joel in all his pervy glory.  warnings/tags:  [18+ MINORS DNI] age gap (no specifics), daddy!kink, breeding!kink, size!kink, fingering, brief oral (m receiving), unprotected piv (back on my bullshit u kno), creampie, smoking (reader and joel), mild tummy bulge kink, casual shoplifting, Joel still using cringey dirty talk but he’s still old and creepy so it’s still hot word count: ~4.7K | ao3 a/n: plot is hella thin here, I really just wanted to write this old creepy fucker again, and I know all y’all wanted more of him too ❤️❤️ Series Masterlist | Masterlist

Your friend has her head thrown back in laughter as she pushes you through the familiar glass doors of the convenience store. 

“There is no fucking way he said that!”

You spin around to face her, walking backwards once you both clear the doorway. “He did, Mandy. And what makes it worse is I didn’t even fucking kick him out after. I just went with it.” 

Your friend leads you down the candy aisle, a disgustingly amused expression on her face. “After calling your pussy an ‘angry beaver’? Bitch, you’ve cracked. No more weird fucking hookups, we need to find you an actual fucking boyfriend.”

He’s here. Of course, he’s here. And when you hazard a peek up to the front counter, there he sits. On his filthy old man perch. A Sports Illustrated drooping between his thighs this time. He’s already sneaking a look at you when you sneak yours, and your eyes meet for barely half a second before they dart back to Mandy browsing the wares. 

Even with only observing a flash of his face, you could tell he was smirking. Staring. 

If only Mandy knew how truly fucked up your hookups have been. One in particular. You hadn’t deigned to inform her of your back room romp with the embarrassingly well-hung specimen behind the counter, and you intend to keep it that way. 

That was the lowest of the low for you. Bending over for the elderly should be considered charity work. You’re a goddamn philanthropist. You should’ve received more than just booze and cigarettes. 

“Gummy worms or Sour Patch Watermelons?”

You shake yourself out of your stupor, seeing Mandy bent over at the waist to view her options. 

A single cursory glance back proves just what you assumed—Joel is eyeing her ass hungrily as her short dress teases up the globes of her ass. You shift your body, obstructing his field of view as you chirp up, “Both.”

“Hell yeah,” Mandy says approvingly, grabbing the two packages. She straightens up and heads back to the refrigerators. “You want a Dr Pepper?” She throws over her shoulder. 

“Yes, please,” You affirm, cheating your own look back over your shoulder where Joel’s eyes are back on you—or, rather, your ass in your denim cutoffs. “Hey, I’ll meet you back up front?”

“You got it,” She waves off, and you lose sight of her as she rounds the aisle. 

You stalk up to the counter, where Joel sits positively shameless, eyes raking over you before meeting your eyes. “Well, howdy,” He rumbles, dropping his magazine onto the counter. 

You lean in slightly and say in a snippy whisper, “Stop fucking staring.”

Joel smacks his lips silently and snatches back up his magazine, burying his nose in it exaggeratedly and glancing up at you over the top of it. He gives you a look as if to say “Better?”

You roll your eyes and catch Mandy approaching the counter out of the corner of your vision. 

“How are the articles?” Mandy stifles a laugh as she drops her haul onto the counter and nods at the magazine. 

“Downright enlightenin’, darlin’,” He drawls, slumping the magazine onto the counter again and scanning the first item. 

Mandy rests an arm on your shoulder, leaning against you slightly. “Keep your eyes to yourself, you fucking creep,” Mandy says, no doubt catching the way Joel’s eyes keep flicking from the counter to both of your chests. “It’s not a fucking peep show.”

Joel peaks his eyebrows in a quick motion and cricks his neck to the side with a barely concealed grin. “‘Course it’s not. Sorry, darlin’.”

Your cheeks burn as your fingers tap impatiently at the counter. 

“$11.32,” He recites, chewing on the inside of his cheek as his eyes meet yours again. “‘Less you got somethin’ else for me?”

“Ew, fuck off you geriatric horndog!” Mandy spits out, jamming her card into the machine and snatching it out as soon as it starts beeping. “We don’t need a bag,” She lashes, gathering your snacks in her arms and heading right out the door. 

“Come back anytime,” Joel invites again, same as last time, taking up his “reading material” once again. 

You toss him a disgusted look. “Fuck off.”

Just to spite him, you snatch up a BIC lighter from the display at the register, wave it in his face tauntingly, and storm out the door with it. He doesn’t even blink. 

“Fucking tiny dick skeeze,” Mandy mutters as you clamber into her car and she speeds off. 

You keep your mouth shut. 

—

Mandy leaves your place around 2 AM after a single text from her current fuck buddy. You feel pathetic, lying on your couch alone. 

And you feel horny from Joel’s eyes on you earlier. 

You can’t shake that night, and you’ve fucking tried. You have never in your fucking life had dick that had you down for the count the way his had. 

And you fucking hate that he was right about being the best dick you’ll ever have. You know you said it about your own pussy too, but that had just been talk. Your pussy is fucking fantastic, but holy shit, his cock. That’s a cock women would go to battle over. That’s the cock that would’ve kickstarted the Trojan War in an alternate universe. The fact that it’s Joel who the dick is attached to is…unfortunate. But you don’t know, it actually kind of works for you. The taboo, the filth, the cringey dirty talk. It all culminates into the kind of fuck nasty sex that a lot of women would kill for. It’s almost a shame to only experience it once. 

A damn…damn shame. 

You’re out the door in twenty more minutes. 

—

You tilt your head back against the brick of the building as you take a drag off one of your Joel cigarettes, lit with your newly procured BIC. 

It doesn’t take long for him to notice. 

The door chimes, and Joel is leaning back onto the wall next to you, his hands buried in the pockets of his bootcut jeans. Similar wife-beater from that night under a different patterned button-up. Cross still dangling from his neck. 

“Bum a cig?”

You size him up with a nose scrunched in distaste. “Get your own.”

“Bit more expensive for me considerin’ I don’t fuck for my smokes. I buy ‘em with my hard-earned cash.”

“Bully for you,” You mutter, taking another drag. 

Joel rolls onto his side against the wall, a palm up in the air. “I gave you the damn things. ‘Least you can do is spare one.”

You glance down at his hand and sigh. You tug the carton from your back pocket and drop one into his palm. 

“Thank ya kindly,” He offers, bringing the stick to his lips. “Gimme a light with your stolen merchandise?”

You ignore the comment with an eye roll, but hold up the lighter. He ignites the tip and inhales with a gracious nod. As he exhales, his eyes roam your body. 

“Wouldn’t mind dippin’ my cigarette back into that toasty little fire between your legs.”

You snort, bringing your own cig back to your lips. “In your dreams.”

Joel shrugs. “I’d say it’s more likely to be in yours. I sure as hell wasn’t the one quiverin’ in a sundress on the stockroom floor after I got a good dickin’.”

“Yeah right. I barely remember that so-called good dickin’,” You play off, poorly imitating his accent with air quotes. 

“Then what’re you doin’ here so late, little miss?”

“Needed some air.”

“Ain’t got air outside your place?”

“Needed gas.”

“Ain’t that your little car in that parking spot over there?” Joel nods toward you little Honda civic a couple stalls over in front of the building. 

“How do you know which one my car is?” You ask, despite it being entirely plausible that he’s seen you driving up before. 

“It’s the only goddamn one in the lot, darlin’.”

You roll your eyes again. 

“Besides. Watched you leave last time.”

“Creep.”

“Whore.”

You glare at him, rolling off the wall and stubbing your light out in the ashtray on the trash receptacle. “You know what, I don’t need this. This little tussle with you. I’m out.”

As you turn to go, his hand clamps onto your shoulder and shoves your back against the wall. “Not so fast,” Joel coos, invading your space with his cigarette still smoldering between his fingers. “I ain’t even got a taste yet.”

You shrink back against the wall, your eyes roving for anybody passing by. Whether for help, or checking for prying eyes, you’re not entirely sure. 

Then Joel’s lips are at your ear, his hand on your hip, the other against the wall at your head, cigarette between his knuckles. “Just one more taste, sweetheart. I know you been cravin’ it too.”

You shudder as his tongue pokes out, traces the shell of your ear. “I haven’t been craving shit,” You insist, your words contrasting the lack of resoluteness in your voice. 

“Then why your legs already tremblin’, sweetheart?”

“Cold,” You whisper, your eyes drifting shut as his chapstick-smothered lips mouth at your neck. 

“Plenty warm inside,” He smirks against your skin, the hand at your hip skating down your shorts to your crotch. “‘N I’d like to get somewhere a little warmer too, ‘f you catch my drift.”

You swallow, your resolve crumbling rapidly as his fingers rub right over your pussy through the layer of denim. “I…”

“Come join me in the back again, sweetheart. I can feel your kitty purrin’, even though your clothes.”

“Fuck,” You spit out, shoving off the wall and shoulder checking him as you head to the door. You hear his chuckle behind you as he hangs back a moment to stub out his smoke and then catches the door before it shuts. You hear the lock bolt on your way to the back room, and then he’s at your back, gripping your hips and pulling you against his bulging erection as you scurry into the room. 

Then his lips are on your neck, his hands groping your tits, his knee between your legs. 

“Such a slutty little thing. Don’t take hardly no convincin’ to give it up again,” Joel slobbers down your collarbone, shoving your v-neck down under your tits to suckle them. 

“Fuck you,” You sigh, unable to keep the heated desire out of your voice as you grind down on his thigh and clutch your fingers into his hair. 

“Yeah, you missed Daddy Joel’s big fuckin’ cock, didn’t ya? Can’t stop thinkin’ about it tearin’ up that little gash between your legs,” He grunts, rutting his thigh against your pussy as you fuck down onto it. 

“Please,” You whine, your fingers stumbling over the button of your shorts and shimmying them off your legs. “Just fuck me.”

“Oh, she wants it bad this time, huh? Makin’ puddles on my goddamn floor.” Joel grips you by your hair at the scalp and cranes your head up to look at him, at the primal, animalistic darkness in his eyes. “Whaddya wanna get fucked with, darlin’?”

“Y-your cock,” You stutter out, hands reaching out to unbutton his jeans. But they freeze when he yanks back on your hair again, face snarling into yours. 

“Whose cock? Tell me whose cock.”

“Y-your—”

“Nu-uh. Whose cock? Say it.”

You scour your brain, and there’s only one thing you think he’d want to hear. And, god, you don’t want to say it. But, fuck, him making you say it…it makes your pussy leak down your thighs. 

“D-d-daddy Joel’s cock.”

His eyes fall closed as he inhales deeply, only reopening them once he’s expelled the breath. “That’s right, little bitch. Gonna get fucked stupid on Daddy Joel’s cock, aren’t ya?”

You whimper, grabbing for the button in his pants again. “Yes, Daddy.”

“Mmm,” He rumbles from his chest at the word, his forehead falling against the door by your head as he lets you undo his jeans. “Gonna have you screamin’ and creamin’ on it again, just like last time.”

“Fucking shit,” You breathe out as you attempt to wrap your hand around his huge length. “How are you so fucking big?”

“Good lord blessed me real nice,” He croons in your ear as his fingers brush teasingly over your pussy lips. “First when I was born, then when those perfect little tits waltzed into my store.”

“Such a charmer,” You mutter, focusing on the feel of his rough fingers on your sensitive skin between your thighs. 

“Noticed you learned your lesson about your panties from last time, didn’t ya?” Joel says, slipping his middle finger into your folds and teasing your clit. 

“I’m a quick study,” You remark, tilting the head of his cock toward your opening. 

Joel’s forehead presses against your temple as his hips twitch forward. “Where’s that damn condom of yours?”

Your senses flood back to you all at once as you realize how close the bare head of his cock is to your pussy. And after you give yourself a moment to breathe, you think—just maybe—not all your sense has returned. “Shit, I guess I’m fresh out.”

Joel retracts, searching your eyes for…something. And when he doesn’t find it, a Cheshire grin spreads across his face. “Goddamn. Nasty girl.”

“Shut up,” You mumble, hitching your leg over his hip and angling his cock right where you want it. “Just fuck me.”

“So goddamn impatient tonight. Can’t fuckin’ wait for this cock. So desperate you’re lettin’ a man you hardly know rawdog this little cunt, huh? Well I got it right here for ya.”

Joel’s hand grips your hair, holding your head up so your eyes peer directly into his. You whimper as your scalp prickles in pain and your cunt clenches in anticipation. 

“You look right at me, darlin’. Right at fuckin’ me when I split this pussy open.”

You nod frantically, your eyes never leaving his. And god, his face really is fucking beautiful. The lines in his skin, the angles of his jawbone, the curvature of his nose. The plumpness of his bottom lip falling ajar when the head of his cock slides through your slick pussy lips. You have the sudden urge to bite it. But your eyes shift back to his own right as he presses against your entrance. 

Your hands fly to the back of his neck, your nails digging into the skin there as the thick head pushes past the opening of your cunt. Your mouth drops open, your eyelids fluttering as you struggle to keep eye contact with Joel through the painful pleasure. “Oh fuckshitjesuschrist,” you blabber, your cunt squeezing around the intrusion. 

“Yeah, you feel that cock stretchin’ you open? You remember this dick now? Still ‘barely remember’ Daddy Joel wreckin’ this pussy?” He says snidely, emphasizing by shoving another inch inside you. 

“Please just shut up and fuck me,” You beg, the heel of your foot fighting for a proper hold at his lower back until Joel’s hand grips under your knee to facilitate your spread. 

Joel groans as the shift has him sliding deeper inside your tight opening. “Love you wide open like this, darlin’. Nowhere for that little hole to hide from this fat cock Daddy Joel’s givin’ ya, huh?”

You knock your head back against the door as Joel breaks you open in short bursts, reaching the end of you with a deep grunt against your collarbone. You breath through the oversized intrusion, the stinging stretch of your pussy sending sparks of pleasure up your spine. You’re much more prepared to take him this time—not so much physically, but mentally—and that is doing fucking wonders for you. 

“Fuck, that’s still such a tight little snatch, sweetheart,” He groans, snapping his hips up into you as you gasp. His tip rams into your cervix, making your stomach seize and your pussy constrict around him. Your fingers tear at the collar of his loose button up, and he follows your lead, ripping it off his shoulders and chucking it to the ground. His biceps flex as he grips you again, squeezing your thigh hitched onto his hip and pressing a hand to the front column of your neck. He strokes the skin there with his thumb, not choking, but a heavy reminder that it’s him who is in this grimy room with you. Him who is fucking you breathless. Him who has you by the throat, physically and metaphorically. 

He’s the reason you came back. 

Joel’s grunting thrusts have you going lightheaded even without the assistance of his hand on your neck. On one particularly brutal thrust, he subsequently pulls out of you until you’re completely, achingly empty again. You whimper as you clench around the nothingness left behind by his girth, and tip your head down to watch him, his voracious eyes, as he cups your pussy with his hand and pushes three fingers inside you with no additional stretch. You moan as he pistons his fingers inside you, leaning out to see you swallow them whole. 

“Please put it back,” You beg, thrusting your hips down onto his hand to try and feel that all-consuming stretch that only his cock has ever given you. 

He chuckles darkly, crooking his fingers and finding exactly what he was looking for with minimal effort, making you buck your hips in desperation. “Yeah? You want this big cock back inside you?”

“Yes, need it now, fuck,” You groan, despite the spike of pleasure his fingers are fucking into you. “Need you to fill me.”

Joel grits his teeth with a filthy snarl. “Can’t stand how fuckin’ empty you feel without me, huh? Eatin’ up three of my fingers and it ain’t enough.”

“It’s not, please,” You whine, and that has Joel humming a satisfied growl. 

“Yeah, fuckin’ beg for it. Daddy likes that. Beg daddy for his cock.”

“Fuck, please give me your cock.”

“Please who?”

“Please, daddy,” You moan with as much desperation as you can muster, hands pawing at his hips and jerking them closer to you by his slumping belt loops. 

“Come for me first,” He instructs, his fingers still working your g spot and adding two fingers to circle your clit in tandem. 

“Fuck,” You moan, not able to argue the heat building inside you as he tears you apart with his fingers. 

“Come on, come for daddy. Spit that pussy juice all over my fuckin’ fingers. Show me how much you want it.”

“I want it, I promise!”

“Then fuckin’ show me. Horny little fuckin’ bitch. Can feel you squeezin’ these fingers. Give it to me.”

Your teeth pierce into your bottom lip as your hips grind against his fingers until you cry out, feeling your body go rigid with pleasure as your orgasm washes over you. He fucks you through it with his own lustful commentary of crude compliments, spewing filth about how your body takes whatever it gets and how sexy you are when you come for him. 

Before you have time to fully recover, he’s withdrawing his soaked fingers and sliding his full length inside of you once more, your pussy still pulsing with your release. 

“Fuck, chokin’ my goddamn cock, sweetheart. Yeah, give this juicy pussy to your daddy,” He rasps, setting a punishing pace inside you as you come down from your high. 

“It’s s-so fucking much,” You stutter out, your arms landing around his neck and nails indenting at the base of it. 

“Yeah, and your naughty fuckin’ clam is clutchin’ it like a pearl, ain’t it?” He snarls, burying a hand into your hair and using the leverage to help pull himself into your body. “Or, I’m sorry, would you prefer I call it your angry beaver?”

Your breath catches in your throat at his little taunt, the proof that he was eavesdropping on your conversation with Mandy about another hookup. “Shut the fuck up.”

“Awww, don’t like it when I say it?” He teases, nipping at your neck and making you squeal. 

“The shit you say is—fuck—already rancid enough.”

He laughs eerily soft in your ear and forces another yelp out of you with a particularly harsh thrust. “You like how I talk to you, I can fuckin’ tell. Gets you the fuck off.”

He pulls out suddenly and wheels you around, tugging you with him as he crashes heavily onto a box, the cardboard caving slightly under his weight. He shuffles his pants further down his thighs. “Come sit on daddy’s cock now.”

You amble over, eyeing the sagging box and anticipating whether it’s going to collapse entirely with your added weight. 

“‘S fuckin’ industrial size toilet paper. Believe me, it’ll go through much worse,” He quips when he notices your hesitance, knocking the side of the box with his fist. “Come on, plenty tall enough to ride this ride, sweetheart,” He jokes, patting a hand on his thigh and pulling on his cock in invitation. 

Watching his hand wrapped around his length, stroking it so gratuitously and showcasing how much of a fucking monster he has between his legs, has your brain in overdrive wondering how the fuck you fit that thing inside you. How the fuck you can just sit down on it without it prodding at your stomach. 

Maybe it does, your mind provides. Maybe you’ve just never noticed. 

Your pussy clenches and you swallow. Then you step forward. 

Joel grabs your hand with his free one and helps you stumble onto the box, straddling his thick thighs until you feel his tip teasing at your hole. 

“Gotta hurry it up, darlin’. Can’t be closed forever. Go on and stuff up that little cunt.”

“Sorry, fuck, you’re just…”

“Already stretched ya out, darlin’. Just gonna be a little deeper like this. Wanna be all the way up in those fuckin’ guts of yours,” He grunts as you ease down on him from above. 

Your head lulls back as you sink down on him with a moan, chickening out about halfway down his shaft and keeping your bounces shallow as you open around him. 

Joel lets you acclimate for a few moments, mouth dropped open in a sly smile as you pleasure yourself on him. 

“Don’t be shy on me now, dirty girl,” Joel purrs, curling his arms under your arms and over your shoulders and yanking you all the way down his cock until your ass smacks against his thighs. You shriek embarrassingly loud, your eyes blowing open and your throat tingling from the shredding noise. “There we fuckin’ go. Take the whole fuckin’ thing, little bitch,” He growls through gritted teeth, fucking his hips up into you as he holds you all the way down. 

Stars spark in your blurry vision as he pounds into your cervix, your thighs shuddering under you and your lungs devoid of air as you bear the onslaught. 

“You feel this cock ticklin’ that fuckin’ tummy of yours? Feel where I’m gonna squirt all my fuckin’ seed inside you?” 

Your eyes threaten to roll back into your head, and shame burns through your cheeks that it’s not from annoyance, but arousal. 

“Y-yeah, I f-f-feel it,” You force out, digging your nails into Joel’s bulging shoulders, raking down to his meaty arms. 

“That make your little snatch quiver, huh? Daddy Joel bein’ so fuckin’ deep? Shootin’ his babies right into that whore womb? Makin’ your tummy bulge with a little brat like my cock is right now?”

“Fuck,” You squeak out, lifting your weight enough to drop back onto him, silently asking that he loosen his hold on you. He picks up your cue, slipping his hands from your shoulders and onto your waist as you begin to slam onto his cock with the assistance of him pulling down on your hips, meeting his upward thrusts with a slew of guttural moans with each brutal impact. 

“Yeah, tear yourself apart on this fuckin’ cock for me. Milk those fuckin’ babies outta me,” He grunts, his grip bruising on your skin as you plunge down on him. 

Your hand plummets between your aching thighs and scrubs at your clit frantically, tipping you over what had already been building for several minutes, and shouting out your second orgasm as your pussy flutters around his massive length. 

“Oh shit, darlin’, here it fuckin’ comes,” He groans out, cramming you down onto his cock and holding you hostage as he bursts inside you, rope after rope of his hot seed spilling against your walls and claiming you as his little breeding toy. 

“Oh my god,” You pant out, your forehead colliding with his sweaty shoulder as you grind in his lap, letting him feel the slide of his own come intermingled with yours inside you. 

He groans at the stimulation, but doesn’t stop your movement, just dips down and sucks a nipple into his mouth. He scrapes along it with his teeth before letting it pop back out. “Gotta be able to teach the little one how it’s done,” He mumbles against the rounded flesh of your tit, then takes the peak of it into his mouth again. 

And now that the haze is wearing off, his words have you stifling a gag in your throat. “Fuck off, I’m protected,” You mutter blearily, half-heartedly shoving at his cheek with your hand to remove him from the latch he has on your chest. 

“Didn’t feel those dumb fuckin’ tassels ticklin’ my pecker when it was poundin’ your little baby cave,” Joel states as he lathes over your untouched nipple with his tongue and envelops that one with his mouth as well. 

“Jesus, do you ever even listen to yourself talk?” You cringe, “I feel like I need to record it and play it back to you sometime, just so you know how fucking disgusting you sound.”

Joel halts and then slowly undocks from your tit with a nasty grin. “We can film anythin’ you want, darlin’.”

“Oh, fucking gross, dude. No way.”

Joel shrugs with a raised brow and that nasty grin still in place. “Suit yourself. I’m always willin’.”

“And I don’t have an IUD,” You mumble in response to his prior comment cloaked in crass verbiage, “It’s a thing in my arm. Not that it’s any of your business.”

“Good,” Joel grunts out as you push yourself up off his cock and let it fall free onto his lap, leaving you devastatingly empty in a way you struggle deeply to never want to crave again. “Those stupid fuckers are a pain in the ass for those of us that’ve been well-blessed like your daddy.”

“Not my ‘daddy’,” You mutter as you pull your shorts back on and rearrange your shirt. “And this isn’t happening ever again. This was a moment of weakness.”

“Whatever you gotta tell yourself, sweetheart,” He panders, leaning back on his arms as he watches you dress. When you’re as presentable as you’re going to be, Joel’s cock is still hanging limp on his thigh, wet and smeared with your shared juices. “Come clean up your clam’s pearly little mess, darlin’,” He purrs, looping his fingers around his cock and balls and giving himself a squeeze. 

You glance to the door and fuss your lip with your teeth. “Don’t you have to…”

“Only take a second. Come on now,” He coaxes, spreading his thighs as wide as his scrunched jeans will allow. 

You lower yourself to your knees and shuffle between his legs, tilting your head to lick a stripe up the underside of him. The sharp, bitter flavor of his spend along with your slickness lays heavy on your tongue as you swallow down your first taste. 

Joel hums his satisfaction as he holds his dick steady and upright for you to clean. You dive back in to mouth at him, sucking up the sides and flicking into his slit just to see him jerk in overstimulation. You can’t imagine what it would be like to actually take him down your throat, given how wide he feels just from wrapping your lips around the outside of him. You give him one more long, unhurried lick up the vein trailing up the underside of him before finishing with a kiss to the head. 

“Happy?”

“As your little clam,” He quips with a wink and a toothy grin as he hoists his pants up over his hips and hides that fucking glorious cock from your sight for, surely, the last time. Without a doubt. Definitely. The last time. 

Part 3

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[workingbynyx]

Hi! I was wondering if you'd be interested in writing headcanons of Jason Todd as the reader's boyfriend? Probably like the general dynamic of the relationship, love language, etc. Whatever you think goes best! :)

of course! i can finally use my hcs of boyfie jason to good use oml i have so much in store for you loves 😚

(this has been sitting in my drafts for so long and now that its almost v-day i think its pretty fitting to post this <3 also pls remember that these are my personal hcs so some may be entirely ooc but this is how i imagine him to be okay 😭)

Very affectionate behind closed doors

Jason wasn't a very clingy person to begin with. in fact the first time you held hands you swore you saw drops of sweat drip down the side of his face, it's hilarious. it took him a while to get around giving physical affection but once he did, hugs and kisses are non-stop. he'll either give you quick or aggressive but gentle kisses or would simply ask you to climb onto him on your shared bed and lay your head on his chest as he sleeps. he'd search for your hand and give it a squeeze when the both of you are in a big crowd (ex; galas, parties) or just rest his hand on the small of your back— as intimidating he might seem, he's just a big baby in your hands.

A pretty decent cook, to say the least

Could be an unpopular opinion but i'd say Jason isn't all too bad in the kitchen, he can pretty much fix up a simple meal if he wants to. The man could either fuck up the microwave or invent a whole new recipe just to fit your cravings, there's no in between. He doesn't want to admit it but he has a secret folder in his phone of all the recipes to your favourite dishes from lunch meals to deserts; so now on every occassion, you can expect waking up to the fresh scent of your favourite food set on the table <3

Midnight joyrides are the best

Do y'all know those tiktok accs that own a motorbike and just drive around with their partners sitting behind them? That's exactly how i imagine what it would be like to be Jason's partner 👊👊 literally like; "bubs put on your helmet" "are we going out? at this time?" "what, you don't want to?" "well, yeah i do..." "good, i'll have the bike out front then" then you guys just drive around on his bigass bike zooming through the city. He'd also have his hands run down your leg that's straddling him from behind at every stoplight possible wkehwjhejwhd

Getting out of bed is almost impossible

The first time you two moved in together was really exciting, waking up finding yourself beside the love of your life sleeping peacefully to eating breakfast and dinner with them too. But as time went by, it became almost your mission everyday to get out of bed without being held back by Jason pulling you back under the sheets. You'd have to be sneaky to move his arm that's wrapped around your waist before his reflexes react soon enough; "mmh, going somewhere?" "jay, i gotta get to work" "10 more minutes love, i promise. I'll just drive you there it's much faster" "you said that 5 minutes ago— i'll be late again!" "are you saying you'd rather leave me alone?" "jace i–" "mhm exactly, so stay a'ight? you could just tell them you caught that flu" "i already did...two days ago..."

Absolutely adores your eyes, hands and waist

I'm a firm believer that Jason is a certified waist-grabber !!! you can expect the rough tips of his gloves glide over from your back all the way to your waist once he comes home from work. He also looooves looking into your eyes and see his reflection in them, the same eyes that showed nothing but pure love and kindness to him. And he also likes your hands; the size difference when you compare them, how they wrapped around his own, and how they cling onto him every chance you get. He thinks it's such a cute mannerism (if you have them too)

He asks for fashion advice, sometimes

Jason'll probably throw on a shirt, jacket, pants and boots then call it day before he met you— but he's even conscious of how colors looked on him now. You were his stylist, often picking out clothes and giving him new looks that you think looks best on him just because he once saw a photo of him and thought the shirt and pants he had didn't match at all. Jason always thought clothes only consists of hoodies, sweatpants, shirts, but now even knows what 'preppy' clothing is after you explained it to him.

His love language is words of affirmation and physical touch

This may vary to some people but i do hc Jason's love language to be words of affirmation and physical touch. Words of affirmation; only because he absolutely loves it when he tells you what he genuinely thinks of you at the moment. "You look great in red", "i'm proud of what you did there", "i love you, y'know that right?", "you look so gorgeous, i'm lucky to have you" and physical touch; because he's totally convinced he can't live without you by his side. Jason would want to be next or near you at any given chance, he'll have you scooted beside him while he reads a book or gently rub his hand against your thigh when he's focused on a movie. Your presence alone gives him the comfort he's always longing for in nights that he's away from home, and you'd glady give it to him.

Very protective over you

It's probably a known fact that Jason is a protective person but when it comes to you he can be over the top in making sure you're okay (especially when you're also a vigilante/hero working with him.) You'll always have to assure him that you're fine and not bleeding to death with a papercut or when you accidentlly stub your toe against the bed. But when you're also a crime-fighter like him, best believe he'll always have you stay and guarded behind him. You had to explain so many times that you could also take care of yourself like he can, though it's understandable why he acts that way most of the time.

Acts all tough, but melts when you're around

Around the times when Jason still had a lil crush on you, he'd never let his guard down and likes to appear cold or tough. But once you were dating he's an absolute shy babe even with the smallest gestures or compliments you give him. He'd only crack a smile at the side comments you make but is mentally falling apart. Or when he can't keep up the act he simply dips his head in the corner of your neck and stay there til he stops blushing like a teen getting his first kiss.

Is a part of the sassy man apocalypse

Sometimes, you question if this man is simply your bestfriend or your boyfriend of how many years. The amount of bickering the two of you end up having is like watching two friends fight over peanut butter vs chocolate. You'd suggest a book you've been reading that he absolutely despises and have a debate right there and then. It's almost like that one Friends scene when Joey and Rachel were giving spoilers back to back at each other LMAO. The man also has an unhealthy habit of popping a hip whenever he stands, your gallery would probably be filled with pictures of him in that stance alone.