#i feel like i don't express my love for isaac enough

[peaceoutofthepieces]

Uh hi! So I know you usually do ship stuff, but I am desperate for some Isaac Henderson angst content. I’ve found a few here and there but most of them aren’t actually super angsty and a lot somehow feel more about the other characters even if they’re meant to be about Isaac. They’re good but nothings really scratched that itch so far. Could you write something using #12 from the angsty dialogue prompts? Or honestly if you’d rather not do that one, any one of the prompts would be great. I’ll leave it up to you what exactly it’s about and who the line is directed at, I just wanna see my fave go through it.

hello!! i'm sorry this took so long! i would like to clarify that i started it ages ago, but it was at less than 1000 words yesterday evening, and then it was finished at 2am last night. (i got so into it i'm currently in the mindset of "that's it, i'm going to try and post at least a fic a week now 😤", but we will see if that actually happens.) so, i hope if nothing else it's sufficiently angsty and not too ooc. you did give me quite a bit of freedom, and it remains unclear if that was a good choice or not 😅 anyway, enjoy!!

12. "Help me."

Post-prom, Isaac felt out of sorts. 

His situation with James and his odd encounter at Elle’s exhibition had been eye-opening, to say the least. Angela Chen’s Ace still resided on his nightstand, though he’d finished reading it two days after lifting it from the library. He couldn’t bring himself to return it just yet; he found himself going back to it at night, rereading sections over again as if they would tell him something new, feeling he was still missing something. And anyway, they were still on summer holidays. The school wouldn’t miss it for now. 

No one seemed to be missing him much, either.

It was becoming more noticeable, this summer break, how he was the odd one out. He’d been aware his friends were essentially coupled off for months now, and Paris had cemented it, but Paris had also kept them stuck together as a group. 

(Plus, most of the Paris trip had been before things had become royally awkward with James, but he was mostly avoiding thinking about all that.)

The situation with Darcy had understandably taken a bit of a priority in the past couple of weeks, but it didn’t explain the shift that had seemed to happen within all his friends since prom. Isaac had figured for a while that Elle would be leaving, and he assumed it was why she and Tao had been attached at the hip. He didn’t begrudge them it, really. He had watched them pine over each other long enough that leaving them this time together felt warranted. Besides, it wasn’t like they were asking Charlie to movie nights recently, either. 

But it also wasn’t likely Charlie was waiting to be asked, these days. He and Nick had seemingly re-entered their honeymoon phase, which was fair given that they finally could be as coupley as they wanted wherever and whenever they wanted. Isaac just found it odd that it seemed to be more since prom than Nick’s coming out, but he was not going to ask about that. It made sense he didn’t want to think about. The intense, somewhat dark cloud that seemed to still hang over Nick around Charlie was more worth questioning, but it was also part of what kept Isaac from encroaching on them recently. 

Everyone seemed to have something going on. His going-ons felt a little unworthy, in comparison. He wasn’t sure if he was feeling shit about himself because he didn’t want to put an extra burden on his friends and it was a bit sad he considered his feelings a burden, or if that was an excuse for not having to talk about it because he didn’t really know how and it was making him feel shit. 

So, yes. Out of sorts. 

Out of sorts and alone, most of the time. 

He was not in the habit of pitying himself, however, and he was not about to start now. So what if he was having some life-defining realisations about himself and he had no one to share them with? He’d coped with life mostly on his own so far and he’d continue to do so. 

And he was coping. Perfectly. 

Kind of. 

Sitting in one of his best friend’s houses, surrounded by their other friends and staring into a book was how he always coped, so this was perfectly normal. It didn’t matter that he wasn’t absorbing the words and everyone seemed louder than usual. He hadn’t been sleeping well. He was tired. That’s all he was feeling. 

Tara tugged at his foot from where she and Darcy were perched on the floor by his armchair. “Isaac, we're gonna play a boardgame. Put the book down and come join us!”

Isaac looked, but Tao and Elle were still wrapped up in each other in the corner and Nick and Charlie were nowhere in sight. He raised an eyebrow at Tara. “We are?”

“Yes! Nick and Charlie are away to get them right now, so come get comfy.”

Darcy snorted. “Good idea, because we could be waiting for a bit.”

Tara slugged her shoulder and Darcy only giggled again. 

“Shouldn't they have passed the honeymoon phase by now?” Isaac asked, lowering his book slightly but not yet closing it. 

“Nick and Charlie?” Tara grinned. “I'm not sure those two will ever come out of it.”

“Well, I can't say I don't understand,” Darcy quipped, leaning in to Tara with a grin. Tara turned towards her, and their smiles melded as they kissed.

Isaac snapped his book closed. “Actually, I think I'll go to the loo while we're waiting.”

No one gave any sign of hearing him, so Isaac slipped quietly out of the room and up to the bathroom. He rolled his eyes at the giggles coming from Charlie's room and didn't pause. Closing the bathroom door behind him, he finally released a sharp breath. He perched himself on the edge of the bath and pulled out his phone.

Instagram was a distraction he did not often indulge in. His follow count was small—only his friends and favourite authors alongside a small cluster of bookstagrammers he'd found to have good taste. He saved a couple of recommendation posts, then began clicking through stories, pausing when he reached James's. 

The story was almost timed out, all of it from last night, seemingly at a party. Isaac had stopped on a video where James appeared to be singing along to the song playing with another boy. In the middle of it, the boy had swooped forward to kiss James on the cheek. 

Isaac stared at James’s delighted expression and something complicated clenched in his chest. He quickly locked the phone and set it beside him, directing his focus to the wall. 

It was good, he rationalised. James was wonderful; he deserved to be going out and having fun, and he deserved, without question, to have a handsome boy having fun with him. Whether they were friends or something more didn't matter, but the something more definitely seemed possible, if not likely. And James deserved someone who could give him that. 

Isaac had not been able to give him that—did not want to give anyone that, could not derive any joy from it, even from the chance of it giving joy to someone else. 

He was not incapable of love. He knew that. When he looked at his family, when he looked at Charlie and Tao and Elle, he was always so full of love he felt he might explode from it. It wasn't romantic, and it wasn't physical, but it was love, in its purest form it seemed, to him, given he did not want anything in return for it but their happiness and their continued place in his life. 

It was love, uncomplicated, unconditional love, and why wouldn't that be enough? 

He never seemed to be enough. 

He always did what he could to be a good son and a good friend, and he had never doubted it until recently. James had been one of those good friends. He still was, as far as Isaac was concerned, but their relationship had undeniably changed. Maybe it was simply in an awkward phase that would pass, but Isaac, at the moment, could not believe it would ever be the same. For a time, James had been something of his best friend—not because Isaac liked him more than Charlie or Tao or Elle, or because he really spent more time with him, but because James was Isaac’s friend in a way they were not. They spent time together, the two of them, and shared interests the two of them, and when they had been together they had not felt the need for any company outside of the two of them. 

But that had not meant the same to James as it had to Isaac, and Isaac could not give him anything more. He understood that his rejection would not be taken without consequence, but he hadn't been prepared to be, in a way, rejected in return. 

Was this all he would ever achieve? Having friends who would always be somewhat distant—who would always have someone closer, someone better—or having someone close who would eventually want that closeness in a way he did not. Before, he'd worried he was not worthy of that want to begin with. Never had he thought it would be his inability to return it that would be the issue. Could he be upset, that it was his not wanting to be too close that lost him all closeness as a result? 

He was alone on an island of his own making. He couldn't blame anyone for leaving him there if he wasn't going to invite them in, could he? 

Was this, then—alone in the bathroom of his best friend's house with his phone locked beside him and tears in his throat—all he was destined for? 

Isaac Island, party of one. 

A knock on the door startled him, and he swore quietly as he knocked his phone onto the tiles. As he picked it up, he caught a glimpse of himself in the mirror and blanched. There were no tears, but his eyes were red and his face was blotchy and the tears were waiting in his throat, they surely would be there if he went back downstairs to—

Another knock.

“One—one minute,” he tried, clearing his throat when his voice cracked. He quickly turned on the tap and ran his hands and wrists under the cool water, but it did nothing to steady his breathing. The thought of his aloneness had choked him, but the thought of returning into company strangled him. It was not his friends’ fault—he refused to make it his friends’ fault—but at the moment, he couldn't bear them all the same. 

He cupped more cold water in his hands and scrubbed it over his face, but it did not shock him out of the spiral of his thoughts. The third knock barely registered over the growing ringing in his ears. 

“Isaac?” Not Charlie, like Isaac had thought. Not Nick either, or Tara, or any of them. “Are you okay? I'd really like to use the loo.”

His island, he thought deliriously, was sinking; he was drowning, and still, he could do nothing but soak his hands under the tap and soak his face in turn and suck in breaths that did not hold enough oxygen. He was drowning, he was sinking, he could not see it but his body felt it and his lungs were going to seize, he was dying—

He cut the knocking off by throwing open the door and gasping, “Help me.”

Isaac had one second to appreciate Tori’s bewildered expression before it turned serious and she took to action. “Isaac? Hey. Look at me.” She set her hands on his shoulders as he wrapped his arms around his middle, still heaving. “I'm assuming you didn't just get diagnosed with asthma,” Tori said, still impossibly calm—perhaps he was actually the sea, he thought, undefinable and raving, and she the island, unravagable. Isaac shook his head. “Alright. I think, then, this is likely a panic attack. Would it help if I get Charlie?”

Isaac shook his head more vigorously. 

To her credit, Tori only considered him for a few seconds, and didn't argue. She guided him back into the bathroom and gently kicked the door closed. “Sit,” she told him. He did, and she crouched in front of him. Immediately, with his knees pulled to his chest and the bath supporting his back, it was better. He was not so adrift. “You're alright. It will pass. I know it's stupid, but you really do just have to focus on breathing.”

She started counting. It was only when she'd repeated the numbers four times that he understood she was telling him how long to breathe in and out for. Then he tried to follow it, and slowly, air felt like it was moving through him regularly again. 

Isaac wiped at his cheek. To his embarrassment, his fingers came away damp. He didn't look at Tori, but he said, “Thank you.” Then, “Sorry.”

She didn't brush off his apology, or tell him to get out now so she could actually use the loo—both of which would have been fair and not unexpected responses. Instead, she turned and sat next to him. She leaned against the bath to his left, a few inches between their shoulders, and stared at the wall quietly with him. 

When his skin stopped vibrating, he tucked his arms around his middle again and breathed out. “How did you know what to do?” he asked. 

She glanced at him and shrugged. “I didn't, really.”

It was all she offered, but it seemed honest. Isaac decided not to push. He was too grateful to care much. 

“Do you want to tell me what it was about?” she asked, softly. 

Isaac looked over at her. She was looking back, unsmiling but not unhappy. She reminded him a lot of Charlie, Isaac had always thought. They seemed similar in ways they likely weren't even aware of. It was both comforting and unnerving. “Do you really want me to?”

Tori shrugged again. “I'd prefer it if you told Charlie or your other friends, because I think that would be more helpful. But I don't think you want to. So you can tell me, if you need to tell someone.”

That was—exactly what Isaac needed, really. He didn't exactly think it should be Tori. They'd known each other a while, and they liked each other well enough, but they weren't friends. Plus, Isaac knew she and Charlie were actually close; it felt weird and unfair to tell her something and then ask her to keep it from him. 

But in this moment, he could not think of a better option, and the mere thought of getting the weight off his chest was a relief. 

“I think I'm going to end up alone,” he said, blunt and ridiculous. Tori, completely fairly, raised a disbelieving eyebrow. “Not because I think I'm unlovable or something like that.” Although that was part of it. “But because—” Could he say the actual words? “—I think I'm asexual, and aromantic, so I don't think I'll ever love love anyone, and I think that means I'll always be a bit alone.”

He could. 

It still seemed sad and pathetic when he said it out loud, maybe even more so, but the act of it—the unretractable reality of it—settled something in him. 

Tori's expression, a little confused but free of judgement, only added to that feeling. “So, you don't feel romantic or sexual attraction,” she said slowly. “At all. Is that what you mean?”

Isaac was vaguely impressed. He nodded. 

“When did you figure this out?”

Isaac took a long, heavy breath. “I think, properly, I started to figure it out in Paris, when I realised this guy liked me and I was trying to figure out if I liked him back? But I think I'd been starting to realise it long before then. I just…hadn't known what to call it, or what it meant.”

Tori, he noticed gratefully, took time to process this before nodding. “And now?”

Isaac blinked. “Now?”

“What do you think it means now?”

Oh. Isaac hadn't expected the question, and he found himself unsure of how to answer. “I think it means I'm always going to be lonely.”

Tori tilted her head. “But you didn't think that before.”

“What?”

“You said you don't think you're unlovable. And I agree. I think Charlie loves you a lot. I think most people would, because you are a very nice person. You didn't think of that as less important because it wasn't romantic before. What changed?”

Changed? Nothing. Everything. They were growing up, and love had more meanings when you grew up, and some of those meanings became less important. He looked at the wall again. “They have other people they love more,” he said softly. 

“And you won't ever have that,” Tori returned, equally soft. Not a barb, not a rebuke, nothing negative at all. Just realising; working through it alongside him. “So you think you won't ever be the most important person to someone.”

Isaac swallowed, unable to answer. Not because he didn't know the answer—because it was yes, it was true, she was right, of course she was—but because it was impossible to admit. 

“I think that's the case for most people,” Tori said, at once blunt and thoughtful. Isaac looked back at her, awaiting an explanation. “Think about it. Even the most in love people usually have children, and then their children are the most important people, or at least equally important. And if they have more than one child, no one of them is the most important, and neither of the parents are the most important to the other. I think, instead of having one supremely important person, most people have a group of important people in their life.”

She looked over at him and continued. “There probably are different levels and different kinds of importance, but I don't think that necessarily means one is worth less than the other.”

Isaac sat, for a moment, and absorbed that. Could it be true? He thought of his family. He was lucky, in that scenario. His parents were kind, were wonderful, and he knew without question that they loved him, and he loved them. Neither one of them, he realised, was more important to him than the other. He had different relationships with them both, but each of their losses would leave an equally sized hole in his heart. 

He knew that probably wasn't the same for most people, but if he could find that one example in his own life so easily, he couldn't deny it was possible in others. 

“I suppose,” Isaac said. “I think I know what you mean. I don't think it's the same, but—I know what you mean.”

Tori did smile, now. A barely there thing, but warm and kind, all the same. “It probably isn't the same. I know me saying I love my brothers equally and neither of them are less important doesn't mean anything for your friends treating you the same as their partners, or even other friends. But I think—every relationship is as important as you make it. And sometimes, people might not know they aren't making it important, if they don't know what's important about it to you.”

“Has important stopped sounding like a real word to you, too?” Isaac asked. 

“About six ‘important’s ago,” Tori agreed. 

Isaac laughed, and his relief grew. Tori's smile also grew, just a tick. 

“You're saying I should just talk to my friends,” Isaac noted, eventually, and Tori's smile grew wry. 

“I did say that at the very beginning, yes.” Isaac laughed again, and she shook her head. “But I am saying you should explain to them. I can't promise you're wrong, or tell you everything will be fine,” she said truthfully. “But I don't think you can assume people can't give you what you need, if you don't tell them what that is and let them try.”

Isaac’s chest tightened again, but it was different to the breathless feeling from before. Instead of hopelessness, it was an anticipatory sort of buzz. There was a sureness that hadn't been there before. 

There was a clatter from outside, and this time it was Charlie's voice that called out. “Isaac! Are you still up here? We have the game set up.”

Isaac looked from the door back to Tori. She gave him another smile and nodded. “Go on. I have really needed to pee for about ten minutes now.”

Isaac laughed, again, and got to his feet. Tori passed his phone up to him, and he thanked her once more. He knew she could tell he meant for everything, and she wouldn't appreciate him making more of it, so he took his leave without another word, leaving her to pee in peace. 

Charlie was hovering at the top of the stairs. His face broke into a smile at Isaac’s appearance. “There you are. You've been up here ages.” His smile drooped slightly as Isaac came closer. “You okay?”

“Yeah.” Isaac nodded. “Sorry, I got caught talking to Tori.”

“In the bathroom?” Charlie huffed, bewildered but amused. For a moment Isaac pictured Tori's expression when he'd opened the door to her, and he smiled. 

He only hesitated for a second before saying, “I wanted to talk to all of you about something, actually.”

Immediately, Charlie's expression softened. “Yeah?” When Isaac nodded, Charlie smiled and wrapped an arm around his shoulders, tugging him towards the staircase. “Come on, then. The game can wait.”

[verystrxxwberry]

MY CANDY LOVE; “Could you hug me?”

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭: fluff, MCL routes (all of them), comfort. ↝ 𝐂𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐨𝐫'𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞: Well, as promised, here it is the last part with mcl! Sorry if it isn’t the best content, I’ve made this while being sick :’)

♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•. ♪¸¸.•*¨*•.

❖ CASTIEL ;; His eyebrow rises the moment he hears you say that, and you see him hesitate for a few seconds about why you need such a hug. Still, with a neutral expression, he shrugs and says "sure, if you need it". His arm reaches out and invites you into his embrace. Castiel is not very good at comforting, but he cares about you and is worried. His hand rubs your side gently. His scent of strong deodorant, mixed with cologne and tobacco essence is somewhat comforting in a way; it reminds you that it's him. And that he is also allowing you to be in an embrace with him.

❖ NATHANIEL ;; A small smile breaks out on his face when you ask him, plus his cheeks painting in a reddish color. "Oh, does anyone need some cuddles?" He would say in a slightly teasing manner, coming over to wrap his arms around you. He loves having you close and being able to smell your scent. Nathaniel loves to feel the shape of your body against his, caressing your waist, back and shoulders. In fact, it would be on your shoulders where he would take the opportunity to leave some delicate kisses. "Better this way?" he would whisper, while only separating his face to look at you, probably sticking his forehead against yours, keeping his eyes closed and waiting for you to be the one to initiate the separation of the embrace.

❖ LYSANDER ;; Lysander's hugs feel like an event capable of renewing your life towards a better one. The moment you ask him, a concern shows through his eyes, and by a hand on your hip he draws you into his lap. Then he hugs you carefully not to squeeze you too tightly, as if you were a delicate flower. "Is there a specific reason for requesting a hug, my dear?" He would ask, but not even showing discomfort. One of his hands caresses your hair, while holding you close to him, he would even begin to sing some secret soft melody he has composed, trying to get you to relax.

❖ KENTIN ;; The things I would do to bury myself in those pecs.... The proposal makes him quite shy, but his gaze would soften and he would undoubtedly draw you in for a hug. "You don't even have to ask." His grip is firm and warm, while remaining static so you can enjoy every second of the moment. At some point his hand cups your cheek and he plants a small kiss on your lips. "Everything okay?" he would ask you, checking your face down to the smallest detail to see that you are really okay. 

❖ ARMIN ;; The hugs with Armin are spontaneous and crushing, just like those with Alexy. It is very common that while he or you are playing on the computer, he sits you on his lap and hugs you with one or two arms around your waist. But the moment you ask him for a hug while he is in the middle of a game, he doesn't bother to pause the game (unless it costs him sweat and tears) and holds you in his arms. "Do you want to pass me this isaac run?" he would ask you with a playful tone, as he pulls you to him to invite you into his lap. His way of comforting and cheer you up is to offer you his games for you to enjoy and play while he spreads caresses and kisses all over your back.

❖ RAYAN ;; He would close his book and patpat beside him for you to sit down, then he would put his arm around both your shoulders and draw you in to rest on his chest. "Close your eyes and rest, I'll be here" As he holds the book with one hand, with the other he strokes your head to relax you. He is worried about you, but he prefers give you enough time to organize your thoughts as long as you talk to him about it later. He likes to help you with any issues or overthinking. A pretty and smart brain like yours shouldn't be wasting time on other unnecessary stuff.

❖ HYUN ;; His heart skips a beat the moment you ask him that question, and he nervously starts to laugh. "Oh, how sweet! Of course yes, I couldn't say no to something so adorable." He says as he reaches over to squeeze you for several seconds. He'd mumble a few questions, but generally keep his smile full of love knowing that you've chosen to turn to him when you needed something as comforting as a hug. He loves them!

❖ PRIYA ;; Her presence is already enough to give comfort, imagine her hugs. In addition to the sweet scent of her perfume and the affection of her touch, her soft and low voice in accordance with the environment. Priya also often resorts to hugging you to release stress, asking you in the same way so she can spend a few good minutes cuddling with you. So in the same way, she would take you somewhere private if you are not already, and spend the necessary time snuggling you against her. "You're doing great, honey" she whispers to you from time to time, kissing the top of your head; whether something has happened or not, she wants you to know how proud she is of you.

✩; remember to reblog and like to support my content, I hope you enjoyed it!

[literary-motif]

Time Stands Still

Isaac Rhoades x Reader

Warnings: insomnia, talk of guns

Isaac suffers from insomnia.

Your heartfelt chuckle sounded through the bedroom unprompted, the vibrations of your chest reverberating against Isaac’s side. “I just remembered what I dreamed about last night,” you said, smiling to yourself. 

Isaac hummed, burying his nose in your hair and inhaling your unmistakable scent. The comfort you gave him made his heart ache, and he could no longer imagine lying in this bed, living in this house without you by his side. “Oh?” he answered in a breath, curious to hear about your dream.

“Well, I was lying in bed with you, but it was somehow made of clouds,” you answered, tilting your head to look up at him and shooting him a beaming smile, “and we were floating over the city until we somehow reached England. Then we got dinner at the Rizz and took a walk in St. James Park. You fell asleep on my chest on the way back to the States while I looked at the stars.” 

The description of your dream made Isaac smile, but it was accompanied by the hollow feeling that much time would pass until he would be comfortable enough to take you out, let alone to London. Too much could happen. Too many people — enemies he’d made — could rip you away from him in an instant, and he knew he would not survive losing you.

“It’s silly, I know,” you said, nuzzling your face into his neck and peppering kisses along his jaw in the way you knew made him melt. “What did you dream about?” you asked absentmindedly, ready to have Isaac tell you about something absurd, like making a three-course meal out of pickles and uncooked pasta. 

He sighed, unraveling under your lips and allowing himself to relax into your touch. “I don’t remember,” he said honestly, noting your grunt of disapproval. “It’s better that way,” he added under his breath, something about the softness of the moment unwrapping the many layers of secrecy he kept around himself at all times. He had told you he trusted you countless times, but he was still working on showing it to you. 

Isaac’s admission made your ears perk up, halting you mid-kiss for a moment. Patiently, you waited for him to continue.

Taking a deep breath, Isaac fought the instinct to draw up his walls again and tense. He trusted you, he did, but being vulnerable was still a novelty to him and no matter how much he wanted to lay his should bare before you, he could was still not entirely comfortable doing so.

“When I do sleep, my dreams are always nightmares. I don’t remember any other,” he admitted softly, keeping his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he felt you raise your head, undoubtedly looking at him with a compassionate expression, “I’ve grown used to them, so don't start worrying.”

“Look at me,” you whispered, and his eyes flickered down to meet yours. “I’m sorry,” you said, caressing his cheek tenderly and leaning up to place a kiss against his lips. You wanted to comfort him, but were not sure how to go about it as he looked back at you with slight amusement in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” he murmured, running his fingers through your hair and scratching slightly against your scalp, knowing how much you liked it. “They don't bother me.” You relaxed against him, sinking deeper into his chest as his gentle touch chased away all the tension in your body.

“This feels nice,” you mumbled, shifting the covers around you to make sure they were wrapped around Isaac as well before closing your eyes, surrendering to the increasing pull of sleep. You were exhausted. The work as a private investigator, while thrilling, was also draining and extremely stressful.

On the edge of sleep, you heard Isaac’s soft voice, whispering into the secure darkness of your shared bedroom, “Now I have you to chase away my nightmares. Good night, I love you.” The brush of his lips on your forehead was the last thing you felt before drifting off to sleep, leaving Isaac behind in the realm of waking.

He couldn’t sleep. Of course he couldn't.

There was never a specific reason for it, he just couldn’t, and it was extremely aggravating to have Asirel take a single glance at the dark shadows beneath his eyes and ‘tsk’ him, commanding him to take better care of himself or else. As if he wasn’t trying to. 

As if he hadn’t tried everything already and then some to fight off whatever spell of wakefulness was put on him as the world around him slept. It wasn’t fair, but he had resigned himself to his fate long ago after one too many times of trying whispered remedies and magic cures that were supposed to work without fail, trust me.

They never did, and he was tired of searching for them, instead keeping his tired eyes open, staring into the darkness surrounding him until the first rays of the golden morning sun illuminated the bedroom, his thoughts going haywire through the silent night. 

After lying in bed for one, two hours, he used to get up and just return to his study to work through the dull paperwork he had put off during the day with the quiet hope that it would bore him enough to fall asleep at his desk late at night. He never managed to fall asleep, but at least he got some work done.

That had become impossible to do since you began sharing his bed, using him as a pillow to keep your own nightmares at bay. You had told him that his presence made you feel safe, that the sound of his heartbeat calmed you down, and that the feeling of his arms around you had a fuzzy feeling settling in your chest, making you feel warm. He did not dare to shift away, nor loosen his secure embrace around you. 

No, you were much too precious for him to let go of.

It did not help that in the dead of night, every strange noise sounded more threatening to his sleep-deprived brain than it would have been during the day. Everything felt like a threat, an imminent attack. Isaac perked up at every little noise come three o’clock in the morning, too tired to keep up the reasoning that his house was safe. He had bulletproof glass, for god’s sake. 

That did not convince him though, and he spent every moment listening, waiting for the tell-tale sound of someone picking the high-security lock or smashing the windows that would halt a bullet in its path, breaking into his home. What would he do?

How fast could the intruders ascend the stairs? How much time would he have to reach for the gun in his bedside drawer? What if he didn’t notice? What if they were just too quiet for him to realize what was going on, understanding only dawning when they swung open the bedroom door? How much time would it take for him to push you away from the path of a flying bullet? He would fail. 

The thought made him shiver, arms tightening around you. Isaac inhaled deeply, counting the seconds before exhaling, hoping that you could not feel his heart hammering almost painfully against his ribcage. Slowly, adamant not to wake you, he reached toward the bedside table, needing to check the security cameras. 

He would spend hours staring at the screen, needing to be certain that there was nobody there, needing to make sure that you were safe with him.

In the morning, you awoke to Isaac’s arms still wrapped around you, the display showing the security cameras resting in his limp hand. You could not help but sigh, placing it back on the bedside table and intertwining your fingers with his instead. 

Not daring to get up, lest you should wake him from the sleep he so rarely got, you settled on gazing at his expression. Isaac’s brows were furrowed, evidence of the nightmare plaguing him, and you traced a feather-light touch across his brow to smooth out his frown. 

Seeing the shadows on his face made your heart ache, wishing he could catch at least a few hours of precious, restful sleep. You shifted slowly, placing a soft kiss under his tired eyes. "I wish I truly could chase away your nightmares," you whispered.

[chorus-the-mutate]

This is an edited repost of the Erzsebet Bathory character analysis I wrote yesterday that I refuse to let go to waste. I tried doing the right thing and tagging all of the necessary trigger warnings only for this post to be completely hidden from the Castlevania Nocturne and Erzsebet Bathory tags. Since I can't afford to tag the proper trigger warnings without being punished please do not read this post if discussions of rape or sexual assault triggers or upsets you in any way. I don't take these topics lightly and they are vital to this analysis of Erzsebet Bathory.

This post also contains major spoilers for this first season of Castlevania Nocturne.

This may seem presumptive of me to say but this thought has been stuck in my head for several hours: Erzsebet Bathory is the most rapist adjacent villainess I've ever seen without her actually being a rapist.

The first and smallest point against her is how often she mentions virgins. I know that Erzsebet's initial mention of virgin sacrifices is supposed to tie into the origin of her alter ego and consumption of Sekhmet but it's super fucking weird that it played into why she wanted to sacrifice Maria.

Next point against her is the lawyer's daughter. I'm not sure if this lady was a virgin but when she's first brought to Erzsebet she's already terrified and too dazed to fight back. It's obvious that she doesn't want to be there and that even if she did that she can't really express that desire. But Erzsebet still takes this lady out of a literal gilded cage, sits down and sits this lady on her dress to admire her despair before drinking her blood. The next time we see the lady she's still dazed. The only differences are that she's dolled up and seems more suggestible. Even with hundreds of people in this ballroom scene the lady is literally ignored by everyone except for Erzsebet who dances with her and parades her around for her own amusement. Everyone else knows that Erzsebet likes to make her victims suffer and they still refuse to acknowledge the lady because Erzsebet has made it clear that she's her possession. Hell the only person who is unhappy enough with Erzsebet to go rogue at this point is Olrox and he STILL IGNORES THIS LADY. When the lady is dragged outside to be fed on again without anyone batting an eye it reminds me of a rapist roofying their target and proceeding to do everything in their power to seem interested in their victim's well-being in order to take them to a second location. And no one speaks up since Erzsebet is the Harvey Weinstein, Prince Andrew or Thomas Jefferson of the vampire world; the embodiment of people in power getting away with abuse until the damage has already been done.

The last and biggest point against Erzsebet is the entire scene where she turns Tera into a vampire. For me personally that is just an allegorical rape scene and it's executed very well. Erzsebet makes her entrance at the abbey as a lioness of a woman, a literal predator who wants to take Maria as a sacrifice and turn her into a vampire to ensure Emmanuel the Abbot's loyalty. Tera protests and offers herself to Erzsebet instead. This is such blatant coercion that Tera refers to herself as the ram Abraham sacrificed to God instead of Isaac. And the only question or concern Erzsebet has at this point is if her sacrifice should be a virgin. The only reasons she accepts the sacrifice are Emmanuel's genuine love for Tera and the fact that Tera is a powerful sorceress. Once Erzsebet settles for Tera and physically lifts her to her level no one can stop her. Maria gets knocked out for trying and Richter gets bodied immediately after. Their only option is to get the hell out of there once Annette makes an opening and Richter rightfully runs for his life. Even Maria, the only person that could look back and see Tera turn, is knocked out and that feels like an intentional writing choice to give Tera one last shred of dignity. Erzsebet holds Tera really close in this sort of hug as she feeds on her and once she's fed she literally sits Tera on her lap for her turn to feed. Then Erzsebet cuts herself and the blood starts dripping down on Tera, starting at her skirt, going to her blouse and reaching her face. At first Tera doesn't react but then her body responds to the blood and she feeds even though she doesn't want to. Even though no one wants this for her. And that is exactly what it's like when someone has an unwanted orgasm. Tera's body is protecting itself the same way a victim of assault would and that paired with the blood on her skirt being reminiscent of the blood on a woman's thigh in the aftermath of an assault hammers home the rape allegory. It's very sad and uncomfortable to think of Tera's turn to vampirism this way but the thought lingers hours after like a grimy film on my brain.

I 100,000% believe that Erzsebet would have been an actual rapist if Netflix Castlevania didn't romanticize Lenore raping Hector and ending their relationship on friendly terms. Not to mention Sumi and Taka's sudden shift from allies to sexually assaulting Alucard out of spite. Castlevania Nocturne seems to shy away from rape and sexual assault in favor of allegories or moments so brief that I missed them unlike its predecessor. So I'm blaming the gratuitous depictions of sexual assault in Castlevania on Warren Ellis, the creator of Netflix Castlevania, who doesn't work on this show for a very good reason.

Everything from her size as Sekhmet to her tendency to torture women and girls before killing them contributes to the allegory of Erzsebet being the vampire equivalent of a rapist. She exudes power and not only does she enjoy making others feel helpless she's also great at it. She is a sadist without honor, willing to parade her lady victim of choice around vampire high society or hang a young girl on hooks to drain dry rather than let any of them die a quick death. The dragged out, needless suffering Erzsebet inflicts along with her preference for women and virgins frames her feeding as something more sexual in nature than the other vampire nobles who simply indulge in their gluttony. Even Olrox feeding on his former boyfriend isn't framed sexually, it's framed as a desperate, romantic gesture to keep his lover alive. And every vampire I remember from Castlevania has their feeding framed as a tool for political power or sheer, simple gluttony. Even the vampire general Cho was shown to be more of a tyrant or a general sadist clinging to power in Japan than a deviant.

Erzsebet's sheer sadism actually contrasts quite well with Dracula's humanity and restraint. He understood humanity, only feeding to survive or strike down the merchants who slighted him. (He probably also used feeding as a tool for political power but I don't think we saw that directly.) Dracula ultimately came to understand humanity so well that he fell for Lisa Tepes, the exemplar of what it means to be human. And that love is why I believe he respected Lisa's wishes and let her keep that humanity instead of turning her into a vampire. And after Lisa's death Dracula stopped feeding entirely, hoping to extinguish his life and take out as many people as he could because he believed that humanity should've been better. He believed that the people who lived alongside Lisa would've stood up for her and they betrayed her out of a mix of fear, religious reverence and apathy. Meanwhile Erzsebet doesn't care about humanity, seeing people like the lawyer's daughter as possessions or people like Tera and Emmanuel the Abbot as pawns to further her own rule. She might be taken aback by Drolta's death once she learns of it but there's an equal chance that she wouldn't even bat an eye.

So what do these points of analysis mean for Erzsebet and Tera's future dynamic as master and pawn? The one thing that's certain is that Tera has been fundamentally changed, forced into an unprecedented nightmare scenario that will drag her down a dark path. But I'm an optimist and I believe that Tera will ultimately be redeemed. She may never be human again but her humanity, her love for her son and daughter will save her soul. Ultimately I hope that Tera lives and recovers from the trauma of Erzsebet turning her. I hope that she goes home to her children and is taken in with open arms. But if Tera dies she will die as Tera, not as a pawn, and that is because Erzsebet could never kill her humanity.

[scummy-writes]

Scum talks about OCs

In this I'm just going to go over my Ocs in sections of their own. I'm not really using a special Oc template, I'm just talking about them and what fics they appear in, because to be blunt, I do write 'reader inserts', but some fics are written with these ocs in mind even if they're not detailed out specifically.

I'm just chatting about for fun, this will not change how I write currently. I would not expect fanfics about these characters specifically.

Amélie - Drawn by @beni-draw-ikemen-please. (Full picture is her in a chair with Isaac sittin on the arm of it, and Arthur resting his head on her lap <3 I love it)

Anju, made with a Picrew here. I think her expression is a bit too gentle here, and she would mainly wear warmer yellows or cool toned blues, not the shirt in the image.

SS from Prince of my WIP OC for it, since she's fuckin impossible to make on picrews. Her current name is Constance.

I am honestly surprised people showed some interest in this, so bear with me through my bumbling please. A lot of these say 'mc' but they are 'reader insert' fics still. Previous fandoms had 'mc' interchangable with 'reader' so...

If you have any questions, feel free to ask, just know I might not have all the answered.

╰❧ Amélie

Amélie has been around for a few years, and Beni has been a saint for letting me comm her to draw her. Because of this, I was able to make a character profile for her Here. Additionally, a much older one Here that details some vague things about her past, and including her past with Sebastian (Childhood friends).

-> Fanfics she has been 'in': Breathless Discoveries (Isaac/Mc), Mental Gravity (Isaac/Mc), Blessed Accidents (Isaac/Mc), Exercise in Restraint (Isaac/Mc), Temptations (Arthur/Mc), A Helping Hand (Arthur/Mc), His (Theo/Mc), Playful Punishments [vaguely] (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Midnight Impulses [Vaguely] (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Musings (Isaac/Mc), Oral Prompt with Isaac, First Steps (Isaac/Mc), The Talk (Isaac/Mc), The Shirt Thief (Isaac/Mc), Isaac Overworking (Isaac/Mc/Arthur), Awkward Dates (Isaac/Mc), and likely some other small drabbles I have missed...!

─❧ Summary: (Brief mentions of abuse/SA/Trauma but not explicit details)

A lot of her general background is covered in the second character profile I linked above. It sounds vague, and well! That is because it is a bit traumatic. I don't want to gloss over the fact that she has been through a lot, primarily SA, but I don't like focusing entirely on it to where that is the Only thing about her. Her previous job was ... an 'idol'? I never fleshed it out fully, due to self embarassment, but I wanted her to be a singer with a 'small' following, who got connected with shitty producers and signed a contract way too young without understanding the full implications of it, which caused most of her money to not actually be Hers. Due to her parents strongly against her career choice, going as far as rushing a contract ended up having her cut off from her family. With Sebastian gone, her support network disappeared completely.

She Vaguely goes over this in Patchworked Pieces (be mindful of tags), which was supposed to be a full fanfic detailing her story, but I am not meant for long fanfics at all so I posted what scenes I had typed enough with. on the chapter On Failed Attempts, she details a bit more of her experiences.

How she met Comte was through the normal opening of visiting the muesuem. She did it under distress and wanting a distraction, she was weighing options and considing some pretty awful things! I like to think Comte could tell she was beside herself and trying to calm down a little. I like to think he could sense the distress and the thing she was contemplating, and led her back to the mansion.

Which! Is rocky. She's terrified of everyone, until she sees Sebastian, and he helps ease her into her mansion life. She never tells Sebastian what she went through, due to worries and fears that he would manage to blame himself. So in her story, he never finds out.

Isaac is the primary person who knows some details, but not everything. She'd tell both him and Arthur some bare minimums, just so that when things got intimate, her panic attacks for 'random' reasons wouldn't make them believe it was because of them.

As for how they all entangle with each other? Well... Amélie is not what brings them together, necessarily.

Before she arrives, Arthur attempts to get close to Isaac. It is platonic at first, perhaps he had a crush on him but waves it off. But alcohol is introduced, they start 'drinking' together (Isaac is still a lightweight so he barely builds up his tolerance, mostly keeps Arthur some company), and...They get too tipsy and adventurous with each other. Arthur gets ashamed immediately. Not out of doing things with another man, because it was clear he was using Isaac to get over some trauma. So he avoids, hides, and their friendship crumbles.

And after that is when Amélie stumbles into the mansion.

Her friendship with Isaac is the most prevelant. And after getting on a better start with Arthur, they end up slowly getting entangled with each other. Isaac, unfortunately, deals with the brunt of her panic attacks. Finds scars, attempts to heal them.

It's through healing that they all twine together. Helping each other face their traumas, face what happened between them all.

Ironically, her love for singing was bounced in and out of the story. I wanted a few scenes where she tries to play in one of the many secluded rooms in the mansion- finds an old piano while cleaning, places a few notes. But I don't think she'd be able to any time soon. I think she would need a break for a year or two, before she started exploring music again. Or anything super creative.

I like to imagine that she is friends with a majority of the residents. When she is faring better, she paints with Leonardo and Vincent. She listens to Mozart play, reads what Dazai and Arthur write, so on so forth. I want her to live in a house with Arthur and Isaac, later on, visiting the mansion weekly or every two weeks, happy with her new life.

Sometimes I pair her with Theo, because I think they could help each other, but I think she is fated to be with Isaac and Arthur.

In AUs, I like to imagine Anju as her older friend. Anju does not tolerate a lot of bullshit with Amélie, and would be a bit like a guard dog. But. an unassuming one. She would treat Arthur very harshly until he proves himself. (I am unsure if I ever posted it, but I wrote a few chapters to go with This Au Fic for Isaac week. The second chapter, Anju was supposed to be a witch to help Amélie out after some events [was gonna have Isaac die and then it turn into a reincarnation au thing where they meet again in modern day, and in modern day Anju was gonna be around], and Anju has to help her move forward.)

I've been typing this on and off for a few hours and I am struggling with some details HAHA for now, I will stop here. She's the one OC that has a lot out there for her.

Oh. Amélie is not her 'real' name, but it is now. I am unsure if it is in poor taste or not, but in an attempt to heal she abandoned a lot of her old life. Not Herself, but trying to let go of the past until she could confront it more. She goes by Amélie until the end of her days, and only Sebas and likely Comte know her old name.

╰❧ Anju

-> Fanfics she's been 'in': Training Theo (Theo/Reader)

─❧ Summary: (Vague mentions of parental issues)

OoooOOoooOh Anju....anju....wails.

She is such a complicated Oc for me. She was originally for Shingen in ikes*n (i dont want this on the tags on accident). I still debate if the character she is now still stems from that relationship or not. Because if so, that means she left the past and came back to the present because her and Shingen didn't work out. Not in a TERRIBLE way but probably a sad mutual understanding.

It's either that, or she's just pretty sour from general past relationships not working out.

I like to imagine that she is in her thirties, and that she lives in a neighborhood where everyone knows each other in friendly ways. She is a 'seamstress' just due to how Sengoku has that set up for the Mc. I decied that her grandmother taught her how to sew, and her grandmother owned a small shop to repair peoples clothes and sew clothes for commission as well (i know nothing about how this works so). She would help her grandmother at her shop, and later on when her grandmother passed, she would take over the shop.

As for her parents, I never fully fleshed them out. I just know her mother was constantly comparing herself to other children/people around her, and that their relationship dissolved to the point of Anju refusing to aknowledge her as a mother any longer. The crux of this would cause Anju to move the shop to a different location completely to sever ties. (not move physically, but open another shop elsewhere after funds were saved with the same name).

For Vamp, she relocates her ass to France for Reasons. And here is where it is... well. I don't think a shop like this could exist, but i wish it would. pls spare me from laughs HAHA

The shop I always imagined is the type where the ground floor is the shop, and upstairs is where Anju lives. So upstairs would house her kitchen, living room, and Bedroom and bathroom, a balcony connected to the kitchen would be. great. Lower floor would have the shop, her sewing area, a room to hang up comms and etc, and the 'front' of the shop. Front of the shop is the porch and the actual like...foyer area....of the shop.

She spends a lot of her time sitting in the foyer area at a desk, if she is not actively working on sewing. .....I like to imagine she has a small sitting area set up there for people (children, family, friends, partners, etc) waiting while whoever she is working on measurements and etc with is getting their stuff. With....a lil coffee/tea area....very very small like a coffee maker and some stuff....but cozy vibes... (and she wanted a coffee machine near her while working).

She'll sit on the porch often in the mornings while waiting for customers or going through shop bills and whatever, and that is how she meets Arthur in a modern day setting. By him taking 'Vic' (or whatever pet he is on now) on a walk, Vic escaping, and running up to Anju because he wants pets HAHA.

For first meeting, Anju thinks Arthur is cute, but recognizes the fuckboy tendances. However, i feel like at this point of living as a vampire for so long, Arthur wouldn't be how he is in the game currently. As in, not entirely as self destructive and a smidgen more at peace with himself, but still has the tendencies. She doesn't think too much on the meeting, loves Vic though, and goes from there...

But Arthur doesn't. He gets hung up on her a little, and finds excuses to run into her a bit more. Nothing crazy, but primarily just walking Vic by there and seeing if he can catch her on the porch again, waving, exchanging greetings and pets for Vic. It would turn into him eventually finding an excuse to get some clothing mended, which she can very easily tell is bullshit, but she entertains it because... he's respectful the whole time. She enjoys the company and the innocent flirting.

It comes to a clusterfuck when they spot each other at a bar though. Where he sees how differently she's dressed, where it's clear she's looking for one night stands and nothing else. (He is also alarmed at her smoking HAHA). Arthur doesn't do much with this information, but she immediately tries shutting him out because. Well, she isn't ashamed to have casual sex with others, but she doesn't want the fuckboy tendancies to come back for him. She doesn't want this fake relationship to delve into sex and nothing more. So she puts up walls, and Arthur has to slowly take them down. And it is a rocky thing, because Anju is so independant and refuses to rely on anyone else, so it's a LOT of trouble HAHA a lot of dramatics.

They do fuck, because well they both enjoy sex so why not!!!!! but ah. it's complicated. I think I have a scene of that somewhere. I cannot remember if I have that happen before or after him visiting her home/shop at night when he's drunk. I think it was before.

But Arthur was supposed to go to her place, drunk, because she has such a schedule with her shop/hobbies that it's easy to piece together that she's home, and she essentially lets him stay over in pity because he's wailing about messing up his friendship with Theo.

From there it turns into awkward, more up in the air things. I played with her getting with Arthur only, Theo only, Arthur and Theo, or even Vincent! But the Arthur/Theo subplot would have been too similar to the Isaac/Arthur one in Amélie's story. (Sorry for causing you so much distress, Arthur).

I like to imagine her in her shop. Arthur flirting with her while the neighborhood granny laughs at her attempts to ignore the flirting.

╰❧ Constance

-> Fanfics she's been 'in': Sinking (Gilbert/Reader) [Descriptions of Self Harm], First Time (Gilbert/Reader), Chev comforts Mc

─❧ Summary: (Mentions of self harm, abuse)

Constance....! Is still a running name. I may change it, I may not. I'm unsure about her appearance, I know I want her to have the split hair and to dress in similar colors though, but her eyecolor I am so conflicted on...

But...! Her story is still being fleshed out, and she has changed a lot. She is now strictly for Gilbert, whereas she was supposed to be a flexible oc for either Clavis or Gilbert. (Maybe she still could be?)

So far, her story is still like Emma's so far. her and Rio friends for years, Akatsuki taking her in, etc. In my mind, she doesn't know who her parents are and is somewhat in peace of that.

I've bounced around a lot with her though, to where the Rio and Akatsuki being in her BG makes little sense. i've wanted her to be someone who writes and sings, but does not preform and instead has a friend that preforms for her. Where they have private sessions of Constance singing and exampling some of the dancing to her friend, and later on watching her friend preform the songs and bringing her visions to life. (i like this a lot but it feels...odd.)

I want her carrying a notebook around the palace, filled with her drawings and songwriting. Far in the journal, there is drawings of Gilbert- not because she knows him, but because long before she saw him slinking around Rhodolite and drew him out of facination of how he looked (did not piece together he was a Scary Dude). (would add a lot of fuel to fire if anyone saw those drawings COUGHS)

In another bouncing, I have her as a secret wrtier/artist that writes songs that are never preformed. I thought it would be funny if she wrote the erotica that Jin apparently reads??? I can never fgure out if thats canon or not because i never see it Mentioend in the game.

In both possible backgrounds for her, she is still a quiet and reserved person who suffers from a lot of depression, and struggles with herself a lot. The two toned hair was for fun at first, but now I'm realizing it would probably be a good symbol for her inner issues. How she has a lot of 'darkness' inside of her, that she feels disgusted by and upset with, while there is a purity she wishes she had (but fails to come to terms with how that is unreasonable).

To be paired with Clavis, she was supposed to be much more shy, and his antics were supposed to draw her out of her shell more.

But now it's more solidifies that she will be primarily paired with Gilbert due to the purity/darkness thing. She is a little dramatic in her thoughts with that, and is now a bit more serious toned rather than her shyness being played for antics.

She believes Gilbert over his refusal to 'lie', and that draws her in a lot.

Discussion of self harming/SA, when text is blue I am finished.

Something I am struggling with is that with many Ocs, i often have them go through some sexual trauma just due to it being an outlet for myself (i have also had sexual trauma). This may be why you see some themes of this in some fanfics I write, where there is something the reader is struggling with sexually and the suitor is extremely patient with them- it's usually tied to stuff like this (unsure of how obvious that is since no one ever says anything! which feels like an act of kindness, if it is obvious).

For her, I am struggling with adding that into her background as something that is fairly recent with her. Rio doesn't know, she refuses to tell him, and his fondness of her and constantly...hm...i don't mean this poorly, but building her up to be so 'perfect' sometimes causes a lot of issues when she reflects on herself, and she uses those words against herself often.

I don't know if the self harm would be. Due to that SA event or not. I don't know if this is soemthing that has plagued her for years, or if it spiked as her emotions got out of control.

Gilbert would not know. I don't really care if JP spoilers suggest otherwise, as there are already hints that make it clear he doesn't know Everything (he just knows a Lot). A lot of their relationship would be them struggling with self harm and the SA. A lot of her trust gets put into him (even if she dislikes it), because he doesn't lie to her like others do, and it is a comfort. (blah blah gilbert does lie blah blah)

It's hard to explain their relationship. I assume i'll have more figured out as his route comes out. Right now, she's who I imagine when I write some stuff with him, but not all of it.

With Clavis, the relationship would have been more healthy, and so would she. I think she would still struggle with both things, as it could be used as a mutual understanding when they discuss needing to be loved fully and not half-heartedly.

That is a rough gist of what I have for her? I have been typing this for hours and I am running out of steam.

Annnd....That is that! At least for now. Another detail I will share for all of them is that they are all bi :) All my ocs are always bi.

Again, you guys are free to ask questions. I may update this over time as well. I don't really want criticisms for my ocs though since you guys don't actually deal with them past them popping up as the voice for some reader insert fics. they just sorta rot in my brain and I get comms of them at times.

[vole-mon-amour]

3x11, part 1.

i was determined to wake up at my own pace but then I saw the pic that Phil posted and it woke me right up. good thing i didn't look at it at 6 am, lol. it's 9:22 am, here we go. (upd: and when i finished with this post, it was 10:23. this is a three hour watch at the very least.)

Colin really is reborn, huh? I'd expect this from Isaac, but I'm glad it's Colin who stops them.

What he should have said: "Well guys, you ask Ted first and if he's up to it, we're talking/I'm in."

Husbands. IDC anymore. They're besties either way.

"Letting my mom stay with me is the right thing to do, but damn it, it's a pain in the ass."

Sooo... Jamie really is a nail chewer, huh? Baby boy, that's such a bad habit. Works as a coping mechanism though (probably).

Jamie is THRILLED to be there.

The scar. He's such a pretty boy, for real. Leaving Brendan and Jason's name in on purpose bc yeah.

Might start wailing right here bc Jamie's constant feeling of self-worth aka not being enough in everything aka not deserving other's people love and admiration aka Roy and Keeley can get back together, I don't deserve to be happy with them/one of them. Yeah, this hurts.

I wonder what triggered (dad? :)))) bc Jamie is usually a sunshine, but to see a glimpse of what's actually going on inside Jamie's head is... yeah. Gosh, I love this kid so much.

What a woman, my goodness. A goddess for real.

And his hair? :D

this is a renaissance painting. Bumbercatch is on full adoration mode. Dottie wanting to meet Dani and immediately befriending him. Trent <3333

The fact that she keep using Oklahoma (and Ted is responding to it like a Pavlov's dog, heh) but that they're CLEARLY best PLATONIC friends. There's no romantic chemistry but a lot of trust and I LOVE seeing it. It would make all the sense in the world if they stay platonic till the end and eventually have their own partners and have double dates and all. Ted with Trent when? Rebecca maybe with her Dutch guy? Someone that would feel her striked by a fucking lightning.

Now tell me Ted is staying in England.

A throwback to the first season? Where Rebecca wanted to destroy Ted and knew the owner of the Sun?

I'm sorry, Rebecca is buying A HORSE?? While living in a house in London? It would make way more sense to me if she had a huge territory where she can keep the horse and take care of it and ride it when/if she wants to and spend time with it in general.

"I'm your future husband-in-law." HE'S SO POLITE. SO GENTLE. IDK about Rebecca's partner, but I know who I want Ted with.

Baby boy. Baby. Jamie, tell me who hurt you, I'll kill them.

Are you going to finally kiss Jamie?

IS HE GOING TO FINALLY KISS JAMIE? I know he won't but omg, everyone else in the room can see it. Everyone else but the main fucking audience.

"I love your son & I like you very much." HE. HIM. That soft expression, that smile.

[thephoenixdescendant]

HEADCANON: HOW THE BF5 TEXT YOU

a/n: hello hello how are ya? I know I've been fucking dead for what, 2 years and then I come back giving ya random headcanons and disappear again for a few months and again randomly come back. I'm a goddamn mess and I'm sooo sorry. I just have poor time management skills and poor mental health. And also lack of motivation. Anywayyyys, here are some headcanons which I have been planning to write for a long time but keep forgetting to do so (also I don't know whether this headcanon was already done or not).

Vert Wheeler

Okay, so this man likes to use proper grammar. Will take his time to text back and NEVER the type to leave you on read, because he thinks it’s rude to do so.

He don’t really use the newer slang a lot.

Uses emojis as a way to express his emotions, and it’s quite literal.

Like this man uses the “😭” as a sign that he’s upset.

Uses the “😂”, “😄”, “❤️”, emoji’s quite a lot.

Long paragraphs about how much he loves you, paragraphs about what happened during missions are to be expected.

Agura Ibaden

Just like Vert, she doesn’t really use newer slang.

Only uses ”😀” emoji.

Will only leave you on read if she’s busy. Otherwise she’ll text back.

Will send you multiple texts but not enough for her to blow up your phone with notifications.

Flirts with you A TON. She may not look like a flirt but, she is. Only to you.

Zoom Takazeumi

Uses a TON of newer slang.

He sends you loooong paragraphs if he’s feeling very romantic and if he deeply misses you if you’re away. But if he’s feeling normal and as always being the goofball he is, he likes to send you short multiple messages.

Uses a lot of emojis.

Zoom: Babe, I miss you so much aaaahhhhh Love you!!! ❤️❤️❤️💗💗💗💗💗💞💞💕💓💓💓💋💋💋💋💋❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️❤️‍🔥❤️🥰💗💘💓💞💋💞💋💗💘💓💋💞💕💜🧡🩵💚💕💞💋❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥❤️‍🔥💕💋💞💕💋❤️🥰❤️❤️🥰❤️🥰🥰💕💕❤️

Never leaves you on read.

Sherman Cortez

Sometimes, you wonder whether if it’s his grandma texting because he texts are so….old people-ish?

He will legit sends you Good Morning and Good Night Images. Something like this:

Very sweet and romantic when he has a full on convo with you.

He usually never leaves you on read and when he does, expect a bunch of apologies and a string of “I love you”’s

His texts range from short to large paragraphs.

He uses slang rarely

Uses a shit ton of emoji’s like Zoom.

Spinner Cortez

Uses a lot of slang

Uses emoji’s more than words tbh.

Obviously, short texts.

Will leave you on read, and will apologize if you get pissed off.

The type to send you a lot of memes. If someone looks through your text messages with him, it’ll mostly be memes that you send each other and reactions from both of you.

Stanford Isaac Rhodes

He’s British and from the royal family…so no slang. He kind of hates it tbh.

Flirts with you (obviously) and also will have a full on convo with you while he’s on the mission (Vert doesn’t appreciate this)

Will send you audios of him singing songs that he wrote. It’s obviously about you.

Sends you selfies of him with a text saying “I miss you, my little angel”

Short texts, but like a bunch of them. Enough to blow up your phone.

Will get insanely nervous if you don’t text him back within an hour if you’re away.

Tezz Volitov

This man is complicated.

This man just doesn’t text and it’s not because he doesn’t like it. He forgets to message people and let them know that he’s fucking alive.

You have to be the one to message him first and he’ll message you back shortly after. (Or like a day later. Depends on how busy he is)

Does not use emoji’s.

There are days were he is the first one to text and those are verrryyy rare. (DO NOT poke him too much on that, that will make him sulk)

AJ Dalton

Blows up your fucking phone with a long line of messages.

And half of the long line of texts are just him correcting himself from that fucking annoying autocorrect.

Sends a bunch of pictures of himself. Either of him taking selfies with random things he finds during missions or of him making goofy faces.

Replies to your messages INSTANTLY. He’s actually looking forward for your message.

Uses a shit ton of emoji’s as well.

[cbsghostsmetasandtrevor]

CBS Ghost Pilot -Sophie & Trevor

Here's the first of my Metas for CBS Ghosts. I've made some updates to it. OG Post on Jmaganbo92.

In the first scene, most of the ghosts have taken light of Sophie’s death.  They’ve been dead for ages and are happy that she’s at least comfortable (although many of them express sadness - anger in Thor’s case - that she got ‘sucked off’ when they haven’t).  But you know who doesn’t react that way?  Trevor.

He looks and behaves quite solemnly.  Why?  Because he’s the Baby Ghost - not only is this probably the FIRST time that he’s seen anyone die.  

There’s also a good chance that he's met Sophie in life - David Woodstone (one of his bros) is her son and given that he mentions ‘hitting the country estate’ and the group familiar with ‘Woodstone’s secret Drug Drawer’, there’s a good chance they go there for special parties and a good chance Trevor met her.  

Imagine what he’s feeling right now.  This woman, who’s been dying all alone, the woman who was his friend’s mother, is dying and it’s the first person since his OWN death to die.  We see a glimpse of his not quite used to be a ghost as everyone else is later on, but I wanted to bring attention to this first moment.  

Trevor’s sitting beside her, note he’s the only one sitting.  He speaks quietly, respectfully and he looks quite saddened.  The only other ghosts that show similar behavior are Hetty (because it’s her relative), but she’s easily distracted.  And Sass, who shushes everyone when it’s about to happen.  

It's interesting that the other ghosts focus on their own deaths, although making it about them, rather than Sophie.

I wonder if other deaths in the house of Hetty's relatives had Alberta wanting to sing for them, and that's why Hetty seems a bit sour at the idea that Alberta's singing is making it about her.

I do love the groups' faces and that Hetty gets to introduce herself first.

Flower's intro is hilarious when you consider the faces of Isaac and Sass behind her. Plus, making a joke about her death like the others dislike, but she's a younger ghost, so it makes sense.

LMAO - Thor! He's like "Name - Cod". The looks on their faces are just like Seriously, man?

Isaac's like "Gotta get this back on track".

Isaac doesn't introduce himself, interesting. But he does begin his "we are ghosts" speech, which I'm pretty sure he invented because he was disappointed with Thor and Sass' intros to him.

It's interesting that they all have different reactions. Isaac's disappointed, Pete's happy for her, Hetty's looks happy and sad, Thor's upset because he wants to be sucked off, Crash is like "what a drag", Alberta questions what's going to happen to their home, which prompts Hetty's worries... I like how Irishmen are on par with Murderers and Perverts. LMAO Hetty!

They abandoned her body pretty quick. Just like "Meh". Also, interesting, how long were they standing there?

Pete's already talking about the possibilities for the next owner, but back to Trevor.

He’s the last to leave interestingly enough.  I don’t know - I just wonder what he was thinking.  How he was feeling.  Feels different for him & perhaps Hetty.  

Perhaps this should’ve been my first point regarding my HMoney scenes - the connection with Sophie’s death COULD be why she’s holding onto him later on.

I also wonder if the reason we see him telling a party story in the next scene is because Pete's like 'we need to cheer him up, so it's his turn'. Trevor's very much a 'avoid sad things' person, so I could see this being his idea to try and get passed the sadness.

ANYWAY, feel free to chat. I'm reposting rather than reblogging because it wasn't showing up in the tag and I feel like there's no use if things don't work as intended.

[the-crow-binary]

Multiple ships >:3c

Leon/Sara

Walter/Joachim

Hector/Rosaly

(Isaac/BB)

Nice choices... >:3 Welp. Let's start with the OG tragic straight couple (well I guess Mathias x Elisabetha was the OG because they're older and Elisabetha died before Sara but whatever, Sara at least had more than one picture to serve as screentime ;c) <3

Was very closed to check "i can make it SO fucked up <3" but tbh i like them the way they are <3 All soft and nice and """"""clean"""""" <3 Sara is underrated smh. She did not gave up her soul to complete the whip that will eventually save humans over and over again just to get ignored like that >:l (i also like the tragic idea that the family eventually forgot about her <3 Something about Leon keeping the fact he put his ex betrothed in his whip a family secret so the other people wouldn't... you know... do what they did anyway and shit on them lmao. And eventually, it just faded away) But other than just Sara, the couple they formed with Leon was pretty cute <3 At least we can easily imagine it was. Because we know Leon and we saw enough of Sara to know her too, sefless and sweet. Not that her 3D facial expressions are helping in showing that...

Next is THE OG WORSTIES !!

They're both fucking Mathias. And maybe Leon too. And no i take no criticism. The game might not have given us much about their backstory together. But what we do know is enough to understand that THEY FUCKED. THEY SO FUCKED AND THEY WERE SO TOXIC ABOUT IT. Walter manipulating Joachim <3 Joachim attempting to murder him <3 Joachim being TURNED INTO A SLAVE BY WALTER. AAAAAAAA I WISH WE HAD SEEN MORE OF THEM TOGETHER AND MORE OF JOACHIM ALONE. Also love the idea of "not dating but married nonetheless" dynamic with them... ;3 (do not do this at home kids) Didn't check "compatible brand of freaks" because i couldn't decide if they were compatible or not. I guess yes in a way, but also no ? Consider it is both.

So... Hector/Rosaly, huh...

They live in my heart rent free <3 ROSALY THANKING HECTOR FOR BEING BORN IS MAKING MY HEART MELT I'M A SCREAMING YES PLEASE GIVE MORE LOVE TO THIS MAN aaaaand then she died. FUCKING DAMNIT ISAAC. Can't believe i didn't check the "oh the devotion" box- my mistake. Consider it checked. Because Hector is SO DEVOTED TO HER IT'S BRINGING ME TO TEARS also this is your fault. I never used to care so much about any of them >:( but then you arrived and BOOM. ANGST. ANGST AND FEELS EVERYWHERE. FUCK YOU BEEVEAN. Mwah <3

And now the last AND MOST IMPORTANT ONE

FUCKING. THEM !!! <3 <3 <3 My BB and his twisted fucked up gay mentor <3 (I just realised "inherent eroticim of attempted murder" actually worked for them since Isaac did wanted to kill BB when they met. And then I guess Isaac wasn't exactly gentle when training BB... homoeroticism. Homoeroticism everywhere.) Are they fated ennemies though ?? Benedict IS a Belmont after all. And Isaac IS a general of Dracula. And a simp of his. But he was also supposed to be dead ages ago and the Belmont clan's thing is more about killing Drac than killing his servants (it's just a secondary thing lmao). Idk i let y'all decide. The ending stays the same anyway: they fock <3 They have no one but each other and they fock <3 I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THEY ARE AT THAT POINT. BUT THEY ARE. AND THAT IS ENOUGH FOR ME.

[thebreakfastgenie]

I watched AfterMASH 1.03

These are my thoughts.

Note: the pilot is 1 hour and appears to count as 1.01 and 1.02.

I watched this a little while ago but it took me until now to post because of the sheer rage. Ken Levine and David Isaacs wrote this one. MASH alumni (former head writers) who I generally respect. They wrote some of my favorite episodes of MASH.

I'm going to fucking kill them.

Let me address everything else first, then we'll get to why.

First, I really hope Mulcahy starts getting some real storylines soon. The annoying paperwork gag isn't much to work with, though seeing him spending time with patients was nice. I did like the administrator guy whose name I already forgot again realizing Francis isn't such a doormat after all.

I continue to really like the resident, which I wasn't expecting! He's well-meaning but kind of an idiot and he can learn a lot from Potter and even from Klinger. I love that they have a good relationship.

The Nazi patient storyline... boy. I'm not sure what to make of it. Ken Levine is Jewish, and I suspect David Isaacs is too, but wikipedia doesn't say (Ken has mentioned his Judaism many times on his blog). So that does change my perspective on the choice to do that storyline at all. It's not necessarily wrong it just feels a bit weird to watch.

Now onto Klinger and why I'm going to commit a double homicide. I loved seeing Klinger do favors for a patient just because, and the implication that it's a regular thing. The patient turning out to be racist was a punch that felt very classically MASH. And Max standing up for Soon Lee was excellent and I loved seeing her reaction, Rosalind Chao is seriously so talented. But that's somehow supposed to resolve the main conflict that I'm so pissed about and it really doesn't. Soon Lee wanting to bring her family over is a great storyline. There is a lot of potential there, especially with Max wanting to help her but not really being in a position to do it. But Max telling Soon Lee she can't get a job?? Not my Max Klinger!!

I was prepared to let this go, because I thought maybe Max's family had some sort of thing about striving to be financially stable enough that the women didn't have to work and how that dream, however misguided, could be important to am immigrant family. But then he went on to say none of the women in his family ever worked.

Excuse you me??? His poor, immigrant family in Toledo????? Max's age is a little fuzzy but he was probably born during the Great Depression. Hello??? There is simply no way in hell the Klinger women were homemakers. I don't believe it. So any acceptance I had toward Max's period-typical sexism just evaporated.

And then on top of that he tells Potter maybe marrying Soon Lee was a mistake and looks at that secretary?? After everything they've been through?? I could accept some version of expressing doubt in himself, but the way the scene plays, that he's just ready to throw in the towel?? Absolutely not. Disrespectful garbage.

The Levine & Isaacs dialogue is good. Klinger's line about putting on a dress again is so-so characterization but I thought it sounded snappy. Just makes it extra frustrating that the storyline is so damn bad.

References to other MASH characters: none

[the-plural-of-cris-is-crises]

Disclaimer: I'm glad there are people who enjoyed this episode and I feel happy for you. It kind of sucked for me on a bit of a personal level but I'm not saying you're wrong for liking it, necessarily.

This episode of the Orville was... Disappointing. My mom seemed to have loved Isaac's storyline but it just felt so terrible and forced to me. My mom was beaming and I was fuming. The ending was good, it was moving to see how much he cared about her that even without emotions he was willing to give up everything to make her happy. He shouldn't have to do that but it absolutely proves that (as we already knew) he is capable of love without that "sweep you off your feet" passionate emotion. But the way it was handled, yes she has been making sacrifices in their relationship but so has he, and she was asking him, straight out, to change himself so much just for her. He did not want to do it, and he expressed this initially. I don't mind them talking about it, but portraying her as indisputably in the right was disturbing.

A lot of aphobia undertones to this episode, and ableism. Particularly arophobia with Isaac, with tiny hints at acephobia with Lamarr's storyline at the dismissal that a romantic relationship could not work without sex. I don't have as much of a problem with that one because that's how they are, but they definitely made it seem like it was an unreasonable thing in general, not just to them specifically. But that's fine, I can let that one slide because they're obviously not ace and this is how allo people feel a lot of the time, so usually I wouldn't have much of a problem with that other than rolling my eyes a bit, but it felt not so great being accompanied by Isaac's storyline (not to mention them actually making a direct connection with LaMarr's "I've got the love he's got the sex together we'd make a whole" whatever line, that was. In poor taste). But Isaac's storyline was awful. I don't understand why she would be with him if that is what she wants out of a relationship. Why be with someone you know is not that way? He loves her, he does, because love is so much more than just an emotion, and his dedication to her proves it (I am also glad that he is incapable of feeling emotions and therefore is incapable of feeling hurt that she was trying to change him, make him feel something he doesn't because what they had apparently wasn't "enough"). The way Isaac acted when he did have emotions was so over-the-top and fake and terrible, especially the "it's as if I feel whole for the first time" or whatever. It's just. Annoying.

The ableism annoys me more than the arophobia, despite being aromantic myself. But empathy isn't the end-all-be-all of experience and "goodness" or whatever. I find it so much more moving that he still cares about people and life and he's still compassionate without feeling empathy. He still understands what the other Kaylon are wrong about. He still values the people close to him, he values life, despite not feeling empathy. They were doing such a good job at showing how he is both still valued by us and he still values us despite his lack of empathy and emotions until this episode where they threw all of that out the window. At least the ending reaffirmed what they've always said about him. But they just... Framed it wrong for the rest of the episode. I just think they could have done a much better job at this if they really wanted to address the legitimate struggles of people in these kind of relationships, handled it more sensitively. But I think this will be a one-off treatment of the issue, considering how it ended, so that's a small comfort. I really liked the storyline with the other Kaylon apart from the way it was handled with Claire and Isaac, though. And I thought it would have been great to have Isaac decline the opportunity for emotions and have them respect that, but nope. I would have been so happy for them to have respected his autonomy and his decisions instead of forcing their expectations on him.

Isaac saying he gave nothing to Ty in return though was the biggest lie in the episode, and there were a lot of lies in this episode! Ty was the reason Isaac turned his back on his people and helped the Union. Ty specifically. Not even Claire! Ty. His love for all of them, but his love for Ty specifically, because Ty was the one who reached out to him the most in that episode when all that stuff happened. That's love! That's being a father to him! That is the biggest declaration of love I can think of! That's giving so much to him, Isaac. You give so much to all of them and you are enough. You are enough the way you are and don't let this stupid episode tell you otherwise.

[probablyscreamingintothevoid]

Eating is not a pleasant business. I chew off a man's arm, and I hate it. I hate his screams, because I don't like pain, I don't like hurting people, but this is the world now. This is what we do. Of course if I don't eat all of him, if I spare his brain, he'll rise up and follow me back to the airport, and that might make me feel better. I'll introduce him to everyone, and maybe we'll stand around and groan for a while. It's hard to say what "friends" are anymore, but that might be close. If I restrain myself, if I leave enough...

But I don't. I can't. As always I go straight for the good part, the part that makes my head light up like a picture tube. I eat the brain, and for about thirty seconds I have memories. Flashes of parades, perfume, music...life. Then it fades, and I get up, and we all stumble out of the city, still cold and gray, but feeling a little better. Not "good," exactly, not "happy," certainly not "alive," but...a little less dead. This is the best we can do.

I trail behind the group as the city disappears behind us. My steps plod a little heavier than the others'. When I pause at a rain-filled pothole to scrub gore off my face and clothes, M drops back and slaps a hand on my shoulder. He knows my distaste for some of our routines. He knows I'm a little more sensitive than most. Sometimes he teases me, twirls my messy black hair into pigtails and says, "Girl. Such...girl." But he knows when to take my gloom seriously. He pats my shoulder and just looks at me. His face isn't capable of much expressive nuance anymore, but I know what he wants to say. I nod, and we keep walking. 

I don't know why we have to kill people. I don't know what chewing through a man's neck accomplishes. I steal what he has to replace what I lack. He disappears, and I stay. It's simple but senseless, arbitrary laws from some lunatic legislator in the sky. But following those laws keeps me walking, so I follow them to the letter. I eat until I stop eating, and then I eat again. 

How did this start? How did we become what we are? Was it some mysterious virus? Gamma rays? An ancient curse? Or something else even more absurd? No one talks about it much. We are here, and this is the way it is. We don't complain. We don't ask questions. We go on about our business. 

There is a chasm between me and the world outside of me. A gap so wide my feelings can't cross it. By the time my screams reach the other side, they have dwindled into groans.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Excerpted from Warm Bodies by Isaac Marion

okay so look my bestfriend asked me to watch the last of us with her and we all know my brain thought zombie and ran with it.

i have read warm bodies several times over the years and still love it so much. this is one of my favorite pieces from a book ever.

this pondering of existence, why are we here and what are we doing? i relate to it so much and it's just so beautifully written *sobs in someday i'm gonna write something that impacts people this much*

[sastiel-is-my-serotonin]

I have some more OCs to share, Isaac and CJ. I'll let these writing snippets introduce them:

The door was thrown open, and Isaac just stared at his twin, waiting. 

"What?" CJ groaned. 

Isaac let the air become awkward before pointing at CJ, "You look funny." 

"And you wish you were funny." CJ answered, flipping him off, which Isaac mirrored. 

"Momma," Isaac called out of the room, still flipping off CJ, "CJ is flipping me off!" 

There was a loud sigh from the kitchen, "You two are practically adults, I don't care!" She called back to them. 

"Wow," CJ said, "Mom doesn't care about you, sucks to be you."

Isaac mocked her and left the room, making sure he didn't close the door all the way, just enough for it to piss CJ off.

She tried to throw a pillow to close it all the way but missed, "He is such a bitch." She mumbled into her pillow. 

She threw another pillow lazily and that one of course made it. Why? Because the universe thinks it's a comedian or something. 

–

CJ was grabbing a pizza slice for themselves, 

"Can you hand me another one?" Isaac asked, passing CJ the cup they were searching for. 

They grabbed it, saying, "No." before passing the exact slice Isaac had been wanting. 

Their Dad watched so confused but proceeded to not say anything because they would just confuse him more. 

—

"and it just went right over her head." Isaac explained, having his hand go right over his head.

"People these days, huh?" CJ said, messing with a hair tie he had managed to steal from Isaac's hair. 

"Seriously," Isaac groaned, "they're so oblivious." 

CJ just nodded along as he aimed the hair tie towards Isaac who just frowned. 

"What happened to people being more observant?" CJ asked, and looped the band around his hair. 

Isaac looked suspicious of his twin but didn't say anything about it, "I don't know man." 

"Anyways," CJ said getting up, "thanks for the twenty." 

"Jokes on you," Isaac lied down, "I stole it from your dresser." 

"And I stole it from your room." 

Isaac is pretty sure he stole it from CJ before that as well but it didn't matter, "You're not even going to spend it on yourself." 

"Wow," CJ scoffed, "I might've." He definitely wasn't going to, there's a reason Isaac has been able to steal it from him multiple times. 

"Uh-huh," he said knowingly, "you know the world won't end if you decide to do something nice for yourself every once in a while." 

CJ was working on it, but it was difficult, "It might. It stormed when you decided to be nice to me for once."

"I'm always nice." Isaac joked. 

"To who?" 

"People." He said. 

CJ, who had been pushed off the bed just twenty minutes ago by him, can't help but feel like that's not exactly true. "I guess I'm not people then." 

"Course not," Isaac sat up, "nah we're indigenous creatures and every other variation of whatever people's ignorance comes up with." 

Fucking indigenous creatures they both thought to themselves. Gotta love ignorance. 

"I blame you for that." CJ said. 

"How?" 

"Cause you're an ugly creature." 

Their little sister, Kayla looked at them both with a what the fuck expression, "You two share the same face." 

"Yeah, but I wear it better." CJ said, flipping his hair dramatically. 

Isaac rolled his eyes, "The original is always better." 

CJ tsked, "I kicked you out and honestly, my bad, now you gotta live with a good personality to get anyone." 

"Oh, yeah," Isaac started, "because if there's anything I want, it's definitely a relationship. Yep. Uh-huh, I do the romance thing, for sure."

"You still make friends don't you?" 

"Nah, I just steal yours. We look similar enough."

"Yet, people mistake me as you."

Isaac back peddled a little bit, "Hey, why don't you get any dates? I mean I'm aroace, what's your excuse?" 

"Once again, people mistake me as you." CJ said exasperated, "And I confuse too many people."

"I mean yeah, that makes sense. You're really weird." 

"I was talking about my gender."

"That's not what makes you weird," Isaac said nearly sounding offended at that thought, "in fact, I think that's the one normal thing about you, the rest, I don't know man." Isaac teased and CJ flipped him off. 

"Are you two done yet?" Kayla asked annoyed as she rummaged through Issacs's stuff. Which he just ignored.

"You know what," Isaac said looking at CJ, "I was being mean, come here." 

CJ didn't trust him for a second but he never gets to hug Isaac, so he hesitantly accepted the hug. 

Isaac patted CJ's back and then left his own room, CJ pulled his hair to the front, yep. "That fucker stole the hair tie back."

Their Mom who had just walked by and heard was confused, "Didn't I just buy you both your own packs?" 

"Yes, which we appreciate a lot, but it's the principle, that one just keeps getting stolen." 

"Oy, I blame your Dad for all of you being so weird." An echo of "Hey's", including her husband, echoed in the house cracking her up.

They're so fun to write, if you have any questions about them, ask away, I'd love to ramble about them!

[alcahest-tat]

[Discussion] What do you think of those anime in which the past seasons have had specific styles but all of a sudden changing the studio also changes the style accordingly?

SPOILER ALERT ON THIS POST!

  I don't know how many will reply to this post, and probably when I get more blog traffic I will post this post again, but the question that comes to me is:

  As the title suggests, what do you think of those souls who have gained fame and admiration and love with a certain style, and then all of a sudden change style?

  Striking examples are Highschool DxD Hero and Date a Live Season 4.

  Given to Live with the change of studio has really made a major upgrade in terms of drawings and animations, but the characters seem too "soft" in appearance, like that look you'd expect from a Slice of Life, I'm not saying it's bad, but for example (in Date a Live IV) when Isaac first appears let's say he doesn't look like him anymore (here is an image from the previous series IV: https://alht.eu/jJOEL) while in the first three seasons they were more faithful to the novel as a drawing style.

I'm not saying it's bad in the case of Date a Live, but let's say that after 10 years of Date a Live with the drawings most similar to those of the novel, although they may be good, they clash with those who care, one of the scenes in which the fourth season has lost the most for me is when Nia has turned into a Demon King and Isaac takes her Qlipha Crystal from her, if she had made the same expressions, but with the old fashioned, Isaac would have given me the creeps like "oh boi, i'm going to commit die, i'm watching an anime but i'm going to commit unalive regardless, Isaac will come for me. "

  For Highschool DxD Hero it is different, and compared to Date A Live it has the reverse problem, Highschool has moved from the old style of drawings to the one closer to its paper work, while Date A Live has moved away from its paperwork as a artstyle, the same goes for DxD Hero but the opposite. DxD Hero as a plot I loved it, but as an artstyle to be kind I hated it with all my heart, some characters are randomly "buffed" in terms of boobs, and girls who did not have them in previous seasons have two loaves placed there just so as not to make their cutting boards feel alone, and the girls seem to be made of pudding, while in the past few seasons, you could say... they were more.. firm?

  My only hope that the next few seasons if they will be (I hope not) managed by Studio Passione to stick more to drawing styles closer to those of New, and BorN, and not to that insult of Hero's drawing style. . On the other hand, if it's another studio, I hope they take inspiration from New and BorN as a artstyle.

  Obviously not all the changes come to harm, obviously the various upgrades of drawings, and animations of one of my most loved series that I will review and if I do not, at least I will talk about it extensively enough, it has had some really important upgrades both in terms of design that of animations, it is clear as the sun the difference between the first season and Symphogear G, until reaching XV which is a masterpiece.

  I know it's Off topic concerning what I've talked about so far: SYMPHOGEAR'S MUSIC ARE MASTERPIECES FROM FIRST TO LAST! Listened to the anime they give you that extra gear in certain scenes that make you scream like a little girl with the emotion that makes you come this anime.

I'm exaggerating? Maybe, but after years of following this anime I never got tired, I love it and always will. Returning "In-Topic", What do you think of this whole post? Do you have any comments to leave? Would you like to ask something or reply to my post? Leave a comment below the post and I'll get back to you, if it's in the "Ask me Anything" section even better.

[hotxcheeto]

Since you are like my favorite fan fic writer I was hoping you could write a smut fic with Abby and a female reader like maybe Abby comes home after a stressful day and needs to take it out on the reader in a freaky deaky way love your works <33

━ 𝐌𝐈𝐒𝐒𝐄𝐃 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐌𝐎𝐑𝐄

𝙥𝙖𝙞𝙧𝙞𝙣𝙜(𝙨) - Abby Anderson x Fem!Reader 𝙬𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙞𝙣𝙜𝙨 - Cursing, Afab reader, Dom!Abby, Sub!Reader, tribbing, oral (r receiving), fingering, strap-on use, hickeys, slight degradation kink, slight dacryphilia kink, mentions of bruises, rough sex

𝙥𝙧𝙤𝙤𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙 ? - Yeah/Nope/Kinda

𝙖𝙪𝙩𝙝𝙤𝙧'𝙨 𝙣𝙤𝙩𝙚 - I really like this one also thank you sm <333 I love you!!

It had been at least a week if not longer since you and Abby had even had more than a few hours together. Those few hours being at night, sleeping in the same bed, then she'd disappear before you even woke up. But every night you waited for her, even though you knew you would only go to bed as soon as she walked in.

So here you sat, almost midnight, reading the book she'd brought for you the day before. The yellow light from the lamp being the only thing to illuminate the room. It had been a long time since you'd hung out or even been together, but she still remembered you.

That thought made you smile to yourself, flipping the page of the book just as the door opened. Creaking obnoxiously to let the entire hallway know she'd gotten home late. Abby having been held up with Isaac and helping him with Manny. You wondered to yourself, watching her slowly drop her backpack to the floor, how your girlfriend had managed to find herself such shitty yet high up jobs.

"Hey." You said quietly, a soft smile on your face as you watched her turn to you. Though her expression only showed frustration, almost anger. This made you sit up, setting the book on the nightstand. "Hey, something go wrong?" You asked, concern in your voice, back resting against the pillows as Abby walked towards the bed silently.

She stared at you like a predator to its prey. But you didn't even notice, sitting up on your knees as she came to the edge of the bed.

"Abby, hey-" "Don't talk, okay?" You nodded, not saying a word, not even to ask why. The girl then pressed a deep kiss to your lips. Grabbing your waist with her bruised hands, her knuckles every color of the rainbow.

She only deepened the kisses, pulling you as close to her as humanly possible. Drinking up every little soft touch that you placed on her skin. Abby then began kissing down your neck, slowly, deeply, leaving marks you were surely going to admire yet regret later. Only thankful tomorrow was your day off.

You didn't beg her to go faster, the little whines leaving your lips were enough for her to know how you felt. You moved backwards, against the mound of pillows as Abby hovered over you. Her hands moving to your waist once again, yours to her shoulders, then her head as she kissed down your soft skin.

Meeting the sensitive spot on your neck, sucking at it, leaving pretty marks along your collarbone.

"Abby..." You dragged her name, the woman moving to kiss your lips again. Her fingers toyed with the hem of your shirt. Eyes soft as she stared at you, admiring your face, eyes dragging down the shirt you were wearing. You sat up, pulling it off of your body before throwing it somewhere in the room.

Your tits now exposed to the cool air of the room. Nipples rising as Abby kissed down your neck, but you had another idea, pulling her head back up. Your lips colliding with Abby's again, your fingers going to the bottom of her tank top.

"Abby." You whispered her name as you pulled her tank top off, bruises covering her arms, slightly visible on her shoulders as well. You ran your fingers along her skin, concern filling your features once again. You could only imagine what her back looked like. "I said don't talk." Abby then took her bra off, throwing it, sick of the feeling of it on her skin.

She suddenly latched to your breasts, her fingers messing with one as she licked the other. Sucking on it, listening to the little moans spill from your mouth. Moans she missed hearing.

You could feel the dull ache between your legs begin to grow, having not been touched in weeks. Barely talking to your girlfriend in God knows how long. You didn't even realize how needy you'd gotten let alone her. She then kissed down your stomach, inching towards the waistband on your pajama pants.

"Abby, please touch me." Patients were never quite your strong suit. A smile appeared on Abby's face at those words, words she'd been practically striving for. Her fingers slipped underneath the band before she pulled the pants, along with your underwear, down your legs.

"I'm gonna fuck you until you can't stand tomorrow, alright?" She said it so nonchalantly you nearly came right there, the sight of your exposed cunt nearly breaking her. "Abby-" She grabbed both of your legs, pushing them back before leaning down, licking a long stride up your soaked, throbbing pussy.

A loud moan slipped past your lips, your hand slapping over your mouth to keep yourself quiet. "Abby.." "I missed you so much." She then muttered, slipping a finger into your tight hole. Listening to your muffled moans as you cried out in pleasure. So little had been done, but it had just been so long.

"I missed you too, I missed you so much. Fuck Abby, please." You cried out, trying to stay quiet as she pumped a finger ever so slowly in and out of you, sucking on your clit as she did so. "Please- please-" "Please what?" "Please go faster."

Her tongue swirled around your clit, the girl adding another finger picking up the pace just a little. "Oh, oh shit." Her other hand held your leg back, her eyes on your face the entire time. Yours finally moved to meet her own, the blonde kitten licking your sensitive little mound keeping eye contact the entire time.

Your mouth hung open as moans and whimpers left your throat, her hand finally beginning to move faster. Fingers pumping in and out of you faster and faster.

You could feel your orgasm creeping up on you, so close yet so far. Her fingers just reaching your g-spot, running along your perfectly tight walls. She began sucking harshly on your clit, moving her hand even faster in and out of you. A squelching sound soon filled the room, meeting your ears as you threw your head back.

Your pussy tingled, clenching around Abby's fingers as your stomach dropped. You were so close.

"Abby, Abby please I'm gonna-I'm gonna cum. Oh my God, please." Your nails scraped her scalp, a smile on her face. "Cum Y/n. C'mon babe, cum on my tongue. You look so pretty like that, all sweaty, ready to spill yourself all out onto my fingers." That tipped you over the edge, throwing your head back into the pillows as you felt yourself come undone.

Abby cleaning it all with her tongue, slowly circling your clit helping you come down before licking her fingers clean as she sat up on her knees. Unbuttoning her jeans, her eyes running over your fucked out face. And it wasn't over yet.

Your chest glistened with sweat, as did your face, hair sticking to your forehead as her other hand came up to hold your face. Pushing your hair back. A rough kiss being pressed to your lips, feeling your hand push into jeans and then her boxers.

Your fingers pushed into her folds, feeling wetness around your fingers, quickly slipping two fingers into her cunt. "Fuck Y/n." She moaned, face falling into your neck. Despite the feeling she grabbed your hand, pulling it from her pants before ripping them off.

"Abby-" "Open." You did as she said, legs falling apart, eyes on her as she slipped out of her boxers tossing them aside. Both your knees touched the bed from how far she kept your legs spread, pushing her pussy onto yours.

You moaned loudly, Abby cutting you off by pressing a deep kiss to your lips. A string of saliva between as she humped your clit, quiet groans passing her lips. Your eyes had rolled back, the girl sucking on your neck as she grinded into you. Wetness between both of your legs.

She pushed into you roughly, letting her frustration out on your body. All of her anger through the past few days coming out as she fucked into you, squeezing your hips so roughly you were for sure going to have bruises on your hips when you awoke the next day.

"Abby- Ab-" You were a sputtering mess, tears filling your eyes and falling down your cheeks at the immense pleasure. "Fuck-" You could feel her juices dripping down your thighs onto the bed, the girls motions becoming sloppy and rigid. "Fucking-" She moaned out, legs shaking as she came onto your cunt staring at you the entire time. Focusing on your pretty, tired face.

"Want me to use the strap?" You could barely speak as she still rubbed your clit harshly, a small nod being the only thing confirming what you wanted.

Despite reaching into the bedside table she didn't stop, pushing her fingers in and out of you roughly, the coil building up quickly in your stomach.

Your cries as you came around her fingers only fueling her fire.

"Abby I- I can't." You had changed your mind, if you still even had any thoughts left. "You can... and you will." She flipped you over and onto your stomach. Clipping the fake cock onto her hips before slowly rubbing your clit. "Ready, pretty girl?" You mumbled a few things, a small 'yes' leaving your lips.

You were sensitive, but my God did it feel good when the plastic dick filled your walls. Abby's fingers soothing you as it stretched you out, her fingers rubbing your clit slowly.

"I missed hearing you beg like that for me." She said, bottoming out inside of you. "Abby please just fuck me. Please-" "You've been so good for me." Abby said and as soon as you opened your pretty little mouth to say another word she slipped out and slammed back into you.

She showed no mercy as she roughly rubbed your clit, pulling in and out of you. She pushed you far down onto the bed, your face against the mattress before she spread your legs, hiking your ass up in the air.

"You like my dick? Because I missed fucking you with it." "Ye- Yes." You were already ready to cum again, the girl showing no mercy to your clit or your hole, slamming in and out of you. The gross sound of wetness and skin slapping filling the room. Bouncing off of each wall along with your moans.

"I can't-" "One more Y/n. Just one more babe." She kissed from your neck and along your spine. Fingers digging into your skin, yet you barely even felt the pain. Instead, the same feeling rose again, your stomach tightening as you hid your moans in the mattress.

"Abby I'm gonna cum." You moaned out, a tingly feeling filling your entire body, aching, begging to release. "Cum Y/n. Let go, cum for me. Cum on my cock babe." You shoved your face into the bed, on the verge of screaming as you squirted around the plastic, tears streaming down your face.

Abby didn't pull out right away, slowing down her movement. Coming to a stop as you rode your high, her grip loosening, fingers no longer digging into your skin. Instead rubbing the flesh in which she held so tightly.

You whimpered as she pulled out of you, rolling you back onto your back before she disappeared into the connecting bathroom for a moment. You were thankful you'd changed buildings.

You rubbed your eyes, legs still shaking just in the slightest. "Hey, let me clean you up." Abby appeared in front of you, now in pajamas, a warm towel in her hands. "How was your day?" You then asked, smiling at her as she laughed slightly. Whimpering as she wiped down your sensitive area.

"Sorry." "It's okay, now answer me." "Shitty. But Isaac gave us the day off tomorrow. So now I can stay home with you." She handed you your clothes, helping you slip the shirt over your head. "I've missed you." You said quietly, staring up at her brown eyes as handed you a pair of underwear. "I missed you more." Abby then rebutted, kissing your forehead.

"I'm gonna go pee." "I'll change the sheets, okay?" You nodded as she kissed the side of your head again watching you stand up from the bed, wobbling slightly. The shirt falling far past your thighs as you realized it wasn't yours. "You alright?" She laughed slightly, hands loosely holding your hips to keep you steady. "Mhm." You nodded tiredly, a slight smile on your face.

"You sure?" You nodded again, giggling slightly. "I'm fine. But if I fall and die I'm blaming you from the beyond." "Not fair." "Neither is life darling."

You walked away, legs still shaking, laughing every time you stumbled. And Abby watched, a stupid, dopey grin on her face. "Careful." "Shut it."

A/n: this took me like 3 hours and I'm not even complaining

[spoopy-fish-writes]

Hi hope you're doing well!! This is my request for the SFW alphabet: K, C and R for Arthur, Isaac and Vincent (all from Ikevamp)

Feel free to take your time with this request and I hope you have a nice day/evening!! ༼ つ ◕◡◕ ༽つ

—C, K and R with Arthur, Isaac and Vincent

Suitor(s): Arthur, Isaac and Vincent

TW: Mentions of insecurity, mild mentions/allusions to self doubt and depression, mentions of drugs for the purpose of a simile once, Arthur's sexual endeavours are mentioned very briefly twice in K for Arthur

Notes: Okay, wow, I really took my time with this and for that I apologise anon. I am finally managing to get around to these requests in particular and the matchups so expect those to finally come up... eventually <3

—Arthur

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

♡ This absolute sap loves to cuddle

♡ He lives for the feeling of you in his arms or vice versa

♡ While he love to be the big spoon and feel like he's protecting you in a way that he couldn't do to others before you, he adores being the little spoon

♡ While it makes him feel somewhat vulnerable and insecure, even weak at times, he likes the feeling of being safe with you because it lets him let go for a little while and lose himself to bliss in a away that doesn't destroy him

♡ A way that makes him feel whole

♡ He won't be the little spoon all of the time though

♡ He definitely prefers big spoon. Something about holding you close to him, usually from the back with you facing away from him so you can't see the love sick expression and soft expression in his face as he nuzzles into you from behind

♡ It also fuels his ego because he's able to feel how flustered you get because vampire privellages because he can both feel and hear your heartbeat and your body temperature but you can't do the same to him

♡ He just likes knowing that he's the one that's holding you and making you react like that because it reassures him that he's enough to keep you happy but also keep you on your toes while still comfortable, suiting your every possible need

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

♡ Passionate kisses all the way for this man

♡ He wants to leave you practically panting because a) it's a pleasant sight to see especially when he knows that he's the one that's caused it and b) it lets him convey his love for you without having to put it into words and get all emotional and vulnerable

♡ It's basically a win-win for the both of you but God would he be lying if he ever said that kissing you wasn't like a drug to him

♡ He can never get enough of your kisses because the man is so

starved of actual affection beyond anything sexual that he sometimes feels like he needs your kisses like he needs air

♡ His favourite place to kiss you is definitely your lips

♡ Let's be honest, he's kissed his fair share of people, but kissing you with emotions so pure and honest feels so different and overwhelming, almost like its washing away the memories that he would try and get rid off during his nightly escapades, giving him a different and more fulfilling kind of rush than he ever got from kissing any of his 'lady friends' before the two of you were together

♡ His favourite place for you to kiss him is his nose

♡ He never knew how much he needed that kind of innocence in his life until he got it but he definitely doesn't want to let it go now

♡ He feels so very loved when you cup his cheeks and give him a little peck on the nose, handling him so delicately that he forgets about everything else

♡ Like, he wouldn't even notice that there are other people around to witness his adoring expression until Theo or Dazai make a comment about it

♡ Even then, he still wouldn't care. Like, are you handled like that? Like you're the most precious thing in the world? No? Didn't think so

♡ But don't think your getting away that easily, he still has to repay the favour for that adorable display of affection

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

♡ The second time that he got to kiss you specifically

♡ It serves almost as a reassurance, proof that the first time wasn't a dream, that it wasn't something that he, in his desperation and longing for a love like that which you have him, had created in his mind to sooth his aching heart

♡ It's like a silent promise from you to him in his mind, telling him that you aren't just going to disappear

♡ Nothing can compare to the euphoric feeling of your lips against his, so similar to the first time that he kissed you and yet much more grounded in his mind, less like a figment of his imagination and more a part of the real world

♡ He didn't feel like he had to cling to you or you would disappear that time, just that you were really here with him and cared about him as much (or at least almost as much in his mind) as he did about you

♡ While the first kiss was the one that lingered, the second was one that he would never be able to remove from his mind, deeper in its meaning than the first

♡ An honest "I'll stay with you forever" from both ends

—Isaac

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

♡ Isaac has a love-hate relationship with cuddles because, on the one hand, he loves them and Hope's that you never stop giving him cuddles because the man is tired and needs the break sometimes but, on the other hand, how is he meant to initiate cuddles without being awkward and not over thinking it?

♡ He has a preference for being the big spoon because wit means a lot to him to know that, yes you're vulnerable to him in that position, but you trust him enough to be free and open with that vulnerability

♡ It didn't start out like that though; he definitely preferred to be the little spoon at the beginning

♡ He just kind of needed you to lead him for a little while, still trying to understand what he does like, what he doesn't like and it takes him a little to know because it's all so new to him

♡ He doesn't prefer like spooning but he ends up being the big spoon most of the time when the two of you, him in specific, are more grounded in your relationship and know what you're doing

♡ He personally prefers having the two of you facing on another and intertwining your hand with his just before the two of you go to sleep

♡ He just liked the feeling of your hand in his because it reminds him that this is all very much reality when he can't seem to believe that you're actually there with him

♡ More often than not, your legs will end up tangled together to and you'll wake up extremely close to him which he doesn't notice while still half asleep but doesn't mind when he finally properly comes to

♡ He also doesn't mind cuddling you while sitting on his chair, you in his lap, after a little while, especially when he's been stressed out by the university

♡ You're like his personal emotional support plushie except you're a person

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

♡ His kisses, more often than not, are on the softer side, usually more directed to show his love for you when he can't put it into words

♡ He's still very much learning when it comes to relationships, not accustomed to any kind of intimacy by any means so he's mostly hesitant in how he kisses you, predominantly just a soft press of his lips against yours, the feeling of his lips lingering afterwards

♡ His favourite place to kiss is your neck, not necessarily in that way at all

♡ He just likes being able to bury his face into the crook of your neck, hiding his face from you so he doesn't let you see his red tinted cheeks and lose his nerve, just taking you in and being able to lay delicate kisses across your skin

♡ It also makes him feel at ease to know that you trust him despite that fact that he is possibly one of the least stable vampires in the mansion, arguably the most dangerous one for you to allow to get too close and yet you still trust him

♡ He's very rarely ever rough or pushy with his kisses, too scared that he might overwhelm or break you by accident unless he's feeling jealous or particularly frustrated but, even then, there's a sweetness behind them that convey just how much he cares for you

♡ On his end, he likes to have you kiss his back or the back of his neck

♡ He just finds there to be something relaxing and intimate about having you behind him, caring for him and doing the equivalent of hiding away and cherishing the place where he is inherently most vulnerable

♡ That and he can't stand the idea of letting you see his flushed face when he feels the feather light kisses that you trail along the top of his back and neck one a normal day

♡ Despite wanting you to always see him for what he is, a man, and perhaps less so a vampire, he likes the delicate moments where the two of you can hold each other like either one of you is going to break of one presses too hard

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

♡ When he finally confessed

♡ He finally understands the feelings that have made his mind spin and have his heart beating erratically alongside the building need for your blood

♡ A painful process at best, downright torturous at worst

♡ His heart is already beating wildly in his chest and he's terrified that you might reject him, the thought alone leaving a bitter taste on his tongue, but, the person that he was undoubtedly in love with wasn't someone that he believe would cause him that kind of pain, at least not in a way that would wound him as much

♡ Once the words leave his mouth, he feels as though an impossible weight has been lifted off of his shoulders only for one much more difficult to balance to replace it

♡ He hated every second of it, the pressing anxiety and fear of rejection, the horrifying worry that your friendship may never be the same again but the way that your face lit up, the way that the worry all left him replaced only by a feeling of relief so overpowering that he couldn't see anything but you was worth it

♡ His joy in that moment was indescribable and he would never want to take that moment back as your feelings for him became known

—Vincent

C = Cuddles (Do they like to cuddle? How would they cuddle?)

♡ Oh, he loves to cuddle

♡ Awake, asleep, he just loves holding you

♡ Not even the slightest but shy about it after the first few times you cuddle. After all, he loves to love you, what could there possibly be for him to be embarrassed about?

♡ He doesn't really have a preference per say as to how you cuddle or who is holding who, honestly just content with having you in his arms or vice versa but he has found that he does enjoy having you laying on his chest

♡ Even just half of your body on him, he likes the feeling of you laying on him, warmer than any blanket and more comforting to sleep with and you honestly can't complain

♡ Being in his arms is like going out to a flower field on a sunny day and feeling the days of light enveloping you in warmth and he is more than content to hold you forever if you asked him to

♡ His fingers will trail up and down your back as me draws little shapes across your body with his feather light touch, a hand occasionally coming up to stroke your hair, hearing focusing on the sound of your breathing and heart beating against him

♡ It makes him almost feel like he's protecting you because you've already saved him so many times. There is no favour to repay but he feels as though he owes you that much

♡ You're his love, his light, and he wants to keep you as close as possible to him whenever he can

K = Kisses (What are their kisses like? Where do they like to kiss you? Where do they like to be kissed?)

♡ His kisses are often soft and sweet much like the man himself, portraying as much emotion through them as the paints that he so perfectly lays across a canvas, but in a way that leaves you wanting more of that sweetness and warmth that he gives you

♡ It's like when someone gives you your favourite sweet or desert and you just want more after you've finished it regardless of how much you've had until you know you can't eat anymore

♡ You know that you should stop eating it at some point for a little while but it's just too good that you just can't stop

♡ However, that's only one side of him. when feeling particularly touchy or jealous or just really wants to show you how much he loves you but can't get the words out, his kisses are more passionate but still with that twinge of delicacy that make you feel like you're a flower being held in the hands of a caring gardener, tending to each flower, each stem, each leaf individually, to make sure that it is as well cared for as possible and blooms as beautifully as it can

♡ His favourite place to kiss you has to be your temple though

♡ As much as he loves to kiss you on your lips (and, trust me, he does), there's just something special to him about kissing your temple which he can't quite place or put into words

♡ Perhaps it's the fact that he can do it at any time in any place or perhaps it's that he can do it no matter what position the two of you are in, he just loved ps leaving soft, lingering kisses on your temple any time that he can

♡ His favourite place for you to kiss him though has to be his eyelids

♡ He just feels so safe and at ease when you do

♡ He isn't really one that likes to close his eyes, much preferring to see the beauty of the world around him but, when you kiss him, it's the only time that he allows himself to feel, really feel, with his other senses

R = Remember (What is their favourite moment in your relationship?)

♡ Literally any time that you've ever modelled for him after the two of you got together

♡ You were beautiful to him before, ethereal even in his eyes which envisioned the world to be so much brighter than it was but now?

♡ When he knew that his heart was yours and yours his?

♡ That this person in front of him is someone that lived him as much as he loved them? Nothing could compare to your image

♡ His drawings of you serve to last, to be constant reminders of all of the memories that he's made with you, all of the emotions that you somehow allowed him to feel, the good and the bad

♡ While the memories themselves will eventually fade from your minds, he draws you knowing that he can look back on those drawings and experience those emotions again even if he doesn't recall exactly what brought them on

♡ As if your love has been forever frozen in time for the two of you to be able to look back on as you grow together as people and as lovers

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