#i feel like that should be common sense istg

[r3leee]

me now that the lucy gray x reader tag is starting to be filled with coryo and sejanus fics:

[moshieee]

Hello it is I, random anon who does not know you and has never interacted with you before, what is your opinion of your mutuals?

Oh hi @bixell-pixell I'll include you even if we're not mutuals I think you're pretty chill all things considered

That's kinda it idk you that well

Anyways

You didn't specify so I'm going to list all my mutuals in the order of oldest to newest on my following page that I remember sorry of I missed anyone and for the @ s

*inhales*

@e-the-village-cryptid (I don't have a tag for e yet but it would probably just be E)

Not only the first person who I became friends with here but also the first one I ever started sharing my stories with, even if we don't talk too much I'm glad Every time we do and I see them on my dash, (they bring some of my favorite posts and when I do send posts sometimes I mix up and send them their own reblogs) I'm so glad we're still friends, thanks for letting me ramble about stuff for 6 hours hehe

@jaqofallgenders (no tag for jaq yet either)

my in person friend and the longest friendship I've ever had with someone, love you 🫶. I'll be more specific on Monday if our ADHD doesn't kick in and make us both forget

@strawberry-seal77 (seal-berry!!!)

Hi hi hi yellows my friend 👋 the person I consider to be the second ever friend I made on here, a lovely person as well and wait waaa and an amazing artist too 👀??? Love you silly goofball and the amazing posts and jokes you have we should chat more often I thinkith.

@rabid-mercenary16 (Rabid jumpscare)

Hey hey hey .... BWAMP! Hope you feel better soon

I probably have the most to say about Rabid but all try to make it a bit shorter. besides being the first artist to do art jokes and include me, with we also became mutuals and interacting around a time when my life started to get a lot better. Even if she's not the only factor in that I definitely associate her with stuff improving, and she did play a big factor in it (I already explained a lot on my Valentine's Day gift to her and the others). Also she's just an awesome person to spend time with and be goofy, amazing sense of humor and I just love being friends with such an awesome person and artist.

@dia-smthidk (Dia fren)

I'm assuming you don't want a bowl of soup

I also said a lot about them in my Valentine's Day gift, but we've become closer friends sense then even if we don't get to chat as much as I'd like to. I relate a lot and am surprised how we have so much in common. Amazing artist and person as well and I wish we could hang out more, idc if they think they're bringing down the mood when/if they bring stuff up about irl, and maybe I won't figure out their timezone but oh well, please take care of yourself gender sibling.

@bunnybunnsowo (BUN BUN BROTHER!!)

little brother 🫶🫶💝💞🫶✨👋❤️!!!

(I could have sworn we became mutuals before Dia?)

another person I shared a lot about with the Valentine's Day gift, I love you my little brother! Seriously one of the kindest people I've met and I'm so glad they have bug in his life. Bun deserves the world and they keep sending me opposum images!!! Gona die from cuteness and his kindness one of these days istg

@spookykittyzzz (greaah why don't I have a tag for you???)

A very kind person and artist I don't know too much sense we're not that close yet but love the few chats we have had so far. Hope we get to hang out more even if I'm awful at reaching out to others and saying hi.

@glitchyk (goop buddies)!!

Nooo the parallels

One of the first people who was interested to deep dive into my creations and ask about my stories and worlds They're probably competing with Rabid with how much I have to say about her/silly. Seriously it's incredible how much we have in common and now I get to share and collaborate our sonas stories together it's amazing. And as someone once said "you can yap for hours". I love how creative and clever they are, I just wish they would be kinder to herself. One day I'll make glichy see how awesome she is.

@unfunnyaceartist (Floridian disadvantage) I feel like I should change that

When I say I was shookith when ace asked to be friends I mean I was shookith first person so show up and ask that (the others kinda just happened). Amazing artist and don't believe her lies she is funny. I'm so heckn glad we're friends., love the goofy and silly idc if she's a bit of a simp they've helped me a lot start to understand slang and references I'm supposed to understand shhshsh (such is the curse of how I grew up) we need to make our mafia sonas interact at some point I can already imagine the chaos /silly

@neptunestoast (plushy slime)

Hugs hugs hugs*

Trying my best not to baby talk I swear. amazing person first person to show up and be like "hey I Wana do something for you and your friends". Love their humor and another gender sibling!!! Hugs for ever for as long as they're ok with it. I love their creativity as well and Noodle is so adorable. I just want to pick them up in a hug so much. Kibbity/silly

@ner5y (no tag woops ill figure something out)

What are you doing here??? How are we friends???

I was absolutely confused and startled when they followed me especially since it was during a spoons argument . Amazing artist like holy heck I wish I was allowed to curse on this blog. Their humor also took me by surprise when I got invited to the discord, and even if they doubt how well they're running it I think they're doing amazing. And I love our silly interactions like this one

@vexation-816 (chaotic ADHD buddy!!!)

Why did it take me so long to follow you istg

ADHD ADHD ADHD my buddy oh pal we both got that and it's driving us insane/silly. Love how creative he is and the ideas for his sona and character lore. Also one of the first people who shared a character they added to my nightlight au. This is getting twords the end and I'm tired of whiting so much and am on a timer oh no. But your amazing dude don't ever forget thag

@butlerbugbunny (anxiety bunny buddy)

This is why I didn't respond to the DM yet hshsh

New friend who I feel anxious talking to sometimes but a wonderful kind bunny who I'm also incredibly happy to be friends with. Love his art so much it's amazing (shoot shoot timer is going off) I'm glad he's their for bun and wish them the best I possibly can 🫶.

@lilithloves-you (lillith my be-loathed?) need to change that

Don't you dare bring up grilled cheese

Glitchys friendo who I'm also friends with now. We don't interact too much but I've sent her on missions to go hug glitchy (to help both of them feel better but shhh). I hope we become closer friends in the future.

[nonhumanwithin]

; okay I already sent an ask like a week ago or smth so sorry if this is like- so soon lol. But those answers were really helpful ( /gen ) and I've done more thinking ( a painful amount of thinking istg /lh ) and also found / joined some other groups, blogs, etc .. I also had some experiences that changed some thoughts on my identity lol. But enough rambling I do have a couple more questions but yh !! Sorry if I'm being terribly annoying haha :'] ( hoping I use all these terms right !! I've seen them used loads but yk, haven't used them much myself hssbsvsus )

; 1. can one be, say, a fox therian but also felinehearted / cathearted in some way ?? ( as in identifying as a fox but identifying with cats / felines, if I've got those terms right ) Would those be " contradictory " or is there yk a separate more specific term for it ??

; 2. would being hamsterhearted but not being a hamster therian per say be alright ?? I haven't seen anything against it, but I still want to ask an clarify yk .. !!

; 3. going off the last one, I usually only see therians identifying as cats, dogs, wolves and maybe foxes ( nothing wrong w that ofc !! ) and never really things like insects, rodents or sea creatures ?? Is there any specific reason for this or is it more of like .. It's js hard to see yourself in animals like such, or ppl don't even consider them bc yk- oh tail I'm definitely a dog and not like a blue tongued lizard or wtv yk ? Other animals js aren't immediately thought about .. Idk I'm curious !! /nm

; 4. Is fictionkin / hearted a commonly disliked term or like, js debated lots ?? I've js seen a lot of discourse on it, and some therian and otherkin spaces rejecting them, whereas others accepting ?? Obviously this is discourse I'm used to being nuerodivergent and queer, etc, and constantly being invalidated, etc .. and I'm still making my own decision on this, but it's still like yk " oh wow " to see lots of ppl hating on a term I was gonna identify w ?? So what's the kinda common stance on the terms ?? /nm ( should I not publicly display being / questioning being fictionhearted ykwim .. :'] )

; 5. another thing related to the hamsterhearted thing ( sorry ), is it " normal " or common to feel like .. Idk like the animal is family to you ?? Not even js " yh they're a part of the family " in a pet way but like, IF I was a hamster therian they'd be my siblings yk ?? And I relate to them lots and how they are, and I feel contested w them yk .. So yh, is that a common feeling w being otherhearted ig ??

; so I think the terms I'm gonna use are fox therian, feline hearted and hamsterhearted .. Yh I like those terms .. Like I'm comfortable w them and they feel right for me. Js wanted to say that as a way to idk, say it and mean it lol. :] /pos ( I'm so sorry this ended up being another really long ask HSUSVSH </3 )

Hey, it's not annoying at all :) Also sorry for the late reply!!

You can be any mix of 'kin and 'hearted! It's not contradictory at all. But I think foxes and cats actually makes a lot of sense because they are pretty similar animals in some weird ways, like in their behaviors.

Hearttypes are an entirely separate thing from kintypes. If you are hamsterkin you don't really need to specify you are also hamsterhearted (I mean, you can if you want!) because it's kind of a given that you would feel a deep connection to the animal you identify as! Of course not everyone feels that deeply about their kintype but most do.

Pretty much exactly that. It's easier for us as (biological) humans to connect with animals that are similar to us (particularly other social mammals) or that are engrained in our culture. It's easier to see similarities in them. But I have met a ton of odd critters out there! I've met skunks, sea slugs, spiders, and all sorts of niche mythological creature-kin! They're not as common and maybe not as vocal about it, but they definitely exist.

...Are there people STILL claiming fictionkin isn't a real identity?? Lol. I'd recommend staying far away from those people. I haven't encountered gatekeepers like that in a long time. It's possible they are sticking to a very outdated, closed mindset or learning that from older people in the community. But no, it's not a common thing in my experience, unless the people it's coming from are KFF (kin-for-fun AKA "kinnies" who are misinformed and think kinning is just really liking a character and think if you actually identify as a character you're delusional). I think you're generally fine to be open about being fictionkin/questioning it. No one should be targetting you for just talking about it on Tumblr at least.

I think that is fairly common! It makes sense to see pets that are your kintype/hearttype as family. I felt that way with my dogs too :)

I'm glad you're getting comfortable with your identity! Good luck friend :)

[yyunari]

omg HAHAH yess epic winter is banger!! im thinking 🤓🤓 that ngl i dont really like that faybelle didn't really "learn"(?) much out of it? like the whole signing a deal without reading. like we can tell she's implied to BE better cus she's in the bff pics in crystal's room at the end but it feels so rushed? in a sense 🤠🤠🤠 like i get she's gonna be a villain eventually but like man come on do my girl some justice 😔😔👎 like when i saw the outfits when i was a wee lil kid i was like THIS IS THE MOST GORGEOUS THING I HAVE EVER SEEN!!! esp faybelle's and her crystal wings i need to kiss whoever thought of that that was GENIUS 🤯🤯🤩🤩

ok yes but it feel like jackie frost and northwind's takeover of the snow kingdom was ALSO rushed like the ppl were fs like "OH HECK WE HAVE NO MORE TIME EVERYONE GOGOGO LET GOOD WIN ASAP" like they were annoying but like not omg i NEED to punch them annoying ykwim AKKDLWG maybe it's just me LOL but yes way too wonderland is super banger too!!

esp that scene where raven returned the pages to each chara HELLOOOO that was so tear jerking i may or may not have shed a tear esp after apple's character development!! in the whole do you wonder song where they all got pretty wonderlanderful outfits idk maybe it's bc im just pessimistic but if i was darling and i didnt have a whole transformation with them and ended up in a tree and woke up only when they left idk how 15yo me would have took it LMAOO 😭😭😭 defo not well tbh i would have CRIED but darling is so cool i love her aaaaa (can she save me too i mean WHAT)

oh lord i lost the plot BUT yeah i fr thought eah was super super popular too but i guess not?? maybe bc we were young so we didn't know. also i can get why people find apple annoying but most of them don't talk about/see her development like ok it's not the best and she can grow more but her change and how much she grew is amazing esp for a 15-17y.o. like i just KNOW the same people who hate her are the same people who complain about characters who have no flaws like ???? how do u hate development but also hate no development can u pick a struggle 😭😭🤠🤠

but yes i did wanted to ask on ur opinion on the characters (like apple) too. maybe i should make a 20(?) questions thing for eah bc my brain is WORKING 😃👍 i agree that eah had so much potential esp for all the characters' development!! and also!! omg which dolls do u have :O

also girl (is this gendered term ok with u btw, bc i can stick with slayer if not!) did u leave ur computer on bc i slept at 5:30am (for me) and it's almost 3pm now and u are still online HELP 😭⁉️ and yes i DID sleep ok (lol <3 hrs gang wya) THIS GOT SO LONG LMFAO I THINK ITS GONNA BE SPLIT NAURRR (update it's not somehow :O) istg i NEED eah to come back apparently the last activity/media/wtv of it was back in 2018 can mattel use all the barbie profits to fund a reboot PLSSS 😔😔

but i would like to say thank u for returning the energy and answering everything om 😭😭🩵🩵 ive always struggled w that growing up woop so it feels weird but amazing owo (i didnt answer about niki Lol looking forward to the fic and the references!!also common niki L (affectionate) hehe 🥰🥰

yesss i completely get what ur saying i feel like towards the end of the series they definitely rushed some things but it still slapped🙏🙏🙏 THE OUTFITS WERE ALWAYS AMAZINGGG like for literally everything they somehow managed to make every character wear a drop dead gorgeous outfit like even to this day i want to steal all of their wardrobes🤓 faybelle was too queen for everyone to handle but no one’s ready for that 🫡

omfg and rosabella and daring😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫 that shit was crazy to me when i was younger LMFAOOO esp since i was so apple and daring

SPEAKINF OF APPLE im so glad u brought her up because I COMPLETELY AGREE😭😭😭 i literally love apple so much and it pisses me off that people only pay attention to the side of her that’s pushy and stuff and don’t ever talk about her development like?? the thing about apple that most people don’t realize is that she never tried to hurt her friends and that she always only cared about raven, like she pushed raven to follow her destiny because she was worried that raven was going to poof and she didn’t want to see her friend disappear ☝️ and during true hearts day when ashlynn and hunter revealed they were dating apple was confused about it at first but she was willing to push aside all her previous biases against royals and rebels dating to try to understand ashlynn because she CARES about her 😔😔😔 it’s so sad to me that people only pay attention to the annoying side of apple and not the side of her that cares about her friends and is genuinely looking out for them ughhhh i love her sm her character development is so good

that 20 questions thing sounds so fun LOL u should definitely do it🙏 in terms of characters, my top three is ashlynn, cupid, and apple i love them sm☝️☝️☝️ my main character opinion is that apple isn’t the villain that most people make her out to be but this is random but i wish the creators made hunter huntsman hotter LMAOOOO cus i’ve never really found him attarcttive, i like his character and he’s good for ashlynn butttt at the same time ashlynn is really pretty and he’s kind of mid in terms of looks… but he’s nice😋

the dolls i had were all they in their regular outfits, i think it was apple, raven, maddie, and possibly blondie? i cant really remember if i had any more or not but those were the dolls i can think of, i also had other eah branded things because i was literally sooo obsessed like i had a diary that was rebel on one side and royal on the other, and it played the theme song but i lost it😭😭😭😭

yess girl ok with me since i do identify myself as female🙏🙏 i think tumblr just always says i’m active since it’s on my phone LOL idk discord does the same thing for some reason😵‍💫 and i’m glad u slept well!! istg eah needs to come back or i’ll cry😢 if they come back they should do a live action and i will literally audition to be ashlynn🙏🙏 idc that she’s supposed to be white i’ll be the first asian ashlynn 😜😜

and omg im glad i always try to answer everything when i’m having a conversation with people because i know what it feels like for things to be ignored and i hated that feeling so🙏 but yes look forward to the fic bc i literally finished it today WOO WOO it’s all coming together😍😍😍☝️

[thestarseersystem]

Looking at that post that says they faked DID and I'm gonna say this as gently as possible that "not having an identity" and "fucked up memory" is having a dissociative disorder.

Let me break down this post. I am not reblogging, because I do not wish to antagonize op or argue with them. But I will talk about it here.

"Lack of identity". I'm going to be honest, when I was experiencing a very traumatizing time in my life, I felt very confused with myself and my identity, I felt like I had to repress myself just to survive. It's common to feel like you have no identity, or feel so dissociated from yourself that there's no concrete or "real" version of yourself. Many systems struggle with having no host or changing hosts, or a very dissociated sense of self. It's normal to feel this way when you have a dissociative disorder.

"Not being able to understand my own personality". I've felt this one forreal tbh. I have felt like my personality is too complicated or confusing and therefore it's just confusing to have a concise sense of self. I know myself sometimes and then I don't. Its common in systems to have a fragmented or confusing identity. Also I used to say I had like 5-10 different favourite colors, I would not be able to choose. And yeah the words to describe myself? Enigmatic, complex, extreme, intense, etc. Like I'd say I was both outspoken and reserved in the same sentence.

"Rapidly switching from aesthetic to aesthetic". I FELT THIS ONE. We *cannot* decide what to wear in the morning usually. We love all types of different aesthetics, ESPECIALLY the ones that involve a dual vibe like yamikawaii or pastel goth. We love dark fairycore, yamikawaii, pastel grunge, cybergoth, animecore, emocore, scenecore, lolita, everything. We love so many different aesthetics it's insane. I felt this so fucking hard you have no idea. Every alter has their own playlist/aesthetic, we just love them all.

"Need to seem special and traumatized". Bitch, I used to think I was insane. We have a goddamn insane asylum in our headspace and when we have a panic attack it makes us feel like we're crazy. We used to feel like we were going to pass out all the time because of dissociation. I was like "damn, why do I feel like I am going to pass out, I think I'm just doing it to be edgy and cool". NO. You just want to stop fucking fronting for now. Imagine thinking you were cursed because you struggled to maintain friendships and thought a memory eating monster was eating your memories away. I THOUGHT THAT.

"Not being able to settle on a name, yes, this includes usernames". YEAH SO UH... This is real experiences I've seen other systems have. I have a close friend who went by like 10 different names before being able to settle on one. And for many of our alters, they don't have names because it's too dissociating to settle on one. I think this is normal, mate.

"Actually, occasionally, feeling like I am a separate person." I just have nothing to say on this one because it's goddamn obvious that you have alters, what the fuck.

"Not knowing what I want to do in life". Why the fuck do you think I'm focusing on the past in my life? To distract from current reality, because the dissociation makes me feel so unmotivated. You should accept that you have more than one of you. Istg man. It would be so helpful if you just let yourself have multiple interests and feelings. It's okay.

"Insecure about how I look". Yeah, dysphoria is common. I have this so much, we have attributes on the inside and look different on the inside that it's sometimes so disorienting to look in the mirror. It can cause DPDR for us. But we try to use snapchat filters to help or make art or picrews that look like us. That helps.

"Messed up memory". That's the dissociative amnesia, my guy. I used to think that a memory eating monster ate my memories because the amnesia was so bad. Years of my life are gone because of trauma. Having gaps in your memory is literally dissociative amnesia.

"No social circle." I can't tell you how fucking hard it is to make friends when you feel disconnected from them and from reality. I constantly feel like they don't understand and I struggle to maintain friendships because of my conflicting opinions and lack of energy and fear. Its hard. I feel abandoned by everyone who leaves. It fucking sucks, man.

You have a dissociative disorder. I'm not fucking kidding, man. So many of our symptoms align and I know I'm a system. This isn't normal, this is what being a system is like. This isn't effects of faking, this is real symptoms of being a system.

It makes me frustrated and sad that people think that this is made up or a lie, that they somehow fucked it up, made it up. I swear to fucking god, this is reality for systems. Please get it out of your head that you made this shit up. This is how it is. Hear it from systems with real experiences. You are a real system, whether or not you believe it.

[saltfishfemale]

i fucking hate my friend tbh... im always spitting common fucking sense at her and she'll respond w the most braindead twitter argument/tiktok comment section thinkpiece it makes me wonder if shes all there upstairs

me: sending nudes to men/boys feels awful, bc they got smn from it and we didnt and we felt awful after

her: yeah, but like, it was kind of funny (istg not paraphrasing. that was where her reply ended. like girl u felt like garbage too)

a similar thing happened recently w the convo ab prostitution..

me: prostitution is paid rape

her: haha we disagree on some things

me: well, they wouldnt say yes unless paid, and the vast majority only take that job out of absolute necessity. the men who exploit them are evil and should be in prison

her: yeah, i agree. i just think they should be able to do what they want

like girl. missssssss girlll. do you for real. FOR REAL. think that these women would choose to give themselves severe psychological damage + physical/emotional trauma if they had other options. and no, im not calling it 'sex work' fuck off

AND SHE'S SUCH A FUCKING LIBFEM 😭😭 LIKE NONSTOP "ugh men are subhuman they're gross i hate them they're so nasty" n then literally fucking worshipping the ground/women they step all over

[thaleleah]

it's amazing that an actual language was made for this franchise!

yesss neteyam, his death was heartbreaking. i've seen a lot of edits on him on tiktok 👀 i'm assuming he's really popular in the fandom, right?

it makes no sense how far these people would go when something bothers them so much. like focus on real shit 🤦🏻‍♀️ so many people just like reading non con because it's just a fantasy of theirs (there's literal studies on this being a common fantasy amongst women; and these people should educate themselves) and so many people who read and write non con are also survivors of sa and it helps them. so stfu with telling people what's wrong and what's right. it's fiction. it's their life and there is nothing you can do about it 🙄

(Does that person you mentioned who writes for Avatar write smut? Or is she a minor? I'm so curious)

all her stuff is smut and she's a grown ass woman. her blog is very cringe because she literally acts like a 15 year old. and she's really bitter and hateful tbh. a very negative person. she's always trying to start something.

tal... your spider fics were sooooo good. i loved the rumor mill (he honestly looks like someone who eats a girl out well 🤭) and push me, push back (a lil dark too, huh?) you capture is character so well because he's already so cocky as it is 😌 tal... you sure did him justice 🩵✨

so who's your favorite character to write for from the avatar fandom? 🥰

oh the dog story is def bs! it was either stepshit or stepshits shitty brother!

istg stepshit literally has a death wish. i honestly wouldn't be surprised he does it on purpose to rile you up to get your mom to turn against you. cause that's what stepmonster does with me.

i still can't believe that pos isn't helping your poor mom clean up with anything... 🤦🏻‍♀️ what a fucking loser.

i'm doing well, tal 🩷 kinda been spending the week only watching shows and movies so it's been quite relaxing!

also since we're on avatar. i saw this photo on insta a couple days ago of tom from halloween:

https://www.instagram.com/tomblythfan/p/C01gk9WJjFo/?img_index=1

i'm assuming the guy below him is neteyam...? such a cute lil crossover we having going on here 🥰

and this photo of jack...

https://www.instagram.com/p/C25CGECAhnx/?hl=en

this has me feral. but i'm curious tho. is he going to be an avatar in the next film? because of his suit?

- 🍯🐝

I'm so impressed with everything world-building related to Avatar cause its just so amazing. Very few things capture my attention and heart for as long as Avatar has.

Neteyam is def the most popular in the fandom lol. No other character can compare to the amount of fics there are for him (except maybe Jake). Neteyam is my fav character to write for though. I feel like his personality just comes through really easily in the writing.

EXACTLY! I'm so glad you get it cause I'm so tired of seeing people get put down just for liking to read something. It's all fantasy - what's wrong with letting people read what they want? It also makes me sad because I struggled with wanting to read noncon for a loooooong time cause of the guilt I felt about it, and it took me a long time to finally understand that liking it isn't bad. And it makes me sad to see other people getting bullied for liking it too when I know they either probably struggled with the same thing or are still struggling and the nasty assholes who don't know how to mind their own business won't leave them alone. So frustrating.

all her stuff is smut and she's a grown ass woman. her blog is very cringe because she literally acts like a 15 year old. and she's really bitter and hateful tbh. a very negative person. she's always trying to start something.

The way my curiosity is shooting through the fucking roof. You should send me a separate ask with her tumblr name so I can know who this person is. I don't think I interact with anyone on my other blog that's said this but now I'm nervous.

I'm so glad you liked my Spider fics! Eeeeeeeee~ The Rumor Mill is def my fav so far. He's actually really fun to write for too.

🤦🏻‍♀️ what a fucking loser.

You said it, babes. Both our stepparents are fucking losers.

I'm glad you're doing good! That sounds soooo relaxing and I def need a week like that. What kind of stuff have you been watching? Got any recs for me?

The pics are so cute! Tom looks adorable as Shaggy lmaooo. And Jack is a cutie. I hope that this is him getting an Avatar, but I doubt it. Mayyybeee in one of the future movies but I know he had to wear a motion capture suit when filming A2 I think to make up for the height difference between him and the Na'vi. He had to film every one of his scenes twice lol

[yourl0cal1ncorporealb3ing]

TW VENT AT SOME PARTS

(ALSO NONE OF THIS PROOF READ SO IT MAY NOT BE LEGIABLE I just wroet this and i already forgot half the stuff i wrote)

y'know the mix of horrid chronic fatigue and insatiable numbness and the dissociation just makes me feel like I missing out on life, I yearn to go outside, to go play, to have fun, just run around but I cant. I sit in my room on tumblr or youtube wasting the day away wishing I did something more productive. I feel like a husk of person I feel like Im in a movie theater alone watching the most boring movie ive ever seen, I feel lonely while also being too socially drained to watch and respond the the video my friend sent me. Not to mention when my parents used to fight, my moms road rage/anger issues, it caused me to fucking terrifed of conflict so sometimes I minimize my needs when around other people and constantly asking about things and if im doing it right but also worrying if im annoying them with all my questions because my grandma has gotton mad at me for that before i think either that or it was me asking why she loved my cousin more than me because she yelled and fought with my dad because i wouldnt give my cousin my fukcing chicken nuggets my dad bought for me like fuck you i mean im sorry grandma

The anxiety and hyperactivity of my ADHD spikes up at night so either i got to sleep and wake up in 13 hours or I can stay up till 4am, go to sleep and wake 13 hours (Just feeling a lot worse). Im literally shaking as I write this and i can tell if im just so fucking restless even if im fucking tired (its 3:38am) or anxiety or the entire kiwi strawberry monster I just drank Its ok im drinking water a lot of it i just need to get my thoughts out of my head because its like a thousond of the dvd bouncing tv screen in my head rn idk if its getting better idk if im gonna post this too maybe idk any ways im shaking oh btw i might have non-diabetic hypoglycemia and i have to get a bunch shots next week and I really hate the doctors it always makes me really scared and uncomfy n shit and idk why damn im shaking a lot. I almost freaked out bc i cant find my charger and my tablet almost died but i have another one ive been using so i just used that but i want to know where my charger went :(

istg ive been eating fucking pasta for the lat 3 weeks and i hate it i hate it i hate it HATE it every. fucking. meal. I cant. I have comfort foods I like and its mostly carby food like pasta so i eat pasta alot but since our oven stopped workin its all i know i can make that easy and i laike it but i secretly dread it so i have been eating a lot of candy to keep my brain happy but im not i should be happy ive been hanging with my frinds and its summr break but im just numb, i always am, yk the year I just finished? yeah for the majority of the i was fighting autopilot mode and disassociation but i was constantly in it i dont think i cant handle going to high school this year i think i might act pass out from exhaustion I barely survived middle school Im not okay i need something meds? idk I should not be this messed up i mean my family is great (yk...apart from the fighting which isnt that common anymore and moms anger issues) but theu love me so whats the problem? school school why is it so unoccomidating to neurodivergents same with ppl with social anxiety like i have had MULTIPLE bad panic attcks in class cause i had to do smthin in front of the class I fukcing hate the school system fuckfukcufkyoiuu school fuck the emercian school system FUCKYOUUUUUUUUU

Im too conflict avoident I cant

the afternoon feels so tiring in a stuffy way if that maks and sense i need to treat my FUCKING adhd already i can have music playing at all times thats not a good long term strategy to shut up my brain i mean ffuck i have music on rn and you can see my insane ramblings

anyyways I kinda think im a daave fiction kin (like DSAF) but im 90% sure im just and otherlinker and I just want to feel speacial or some shit but whos know i have the worst imposter syndrome known to man (I have almost every symptom of Cfs and my friend has asked if i have it but nahhh i defs dont) but also i had a weird experience once. I was like listen (its getting hard to type with the shakiness :0) ing to 2 dave and henry playlists and i kept listening to the henry one and I was in the car and i was falling and out of sleep when i saw like flash of dave but it didnt look like cannon dave he looked different he was mush more blue and he was leaning against a wall with messy longish hair and he had a hat and scars all over him and he had a purple buttoned shit that was fulled buttoned up and the perspective i saw was like a photo someone had taken and he seemed just chilling perhaps talking to jack? idfk but yeah theres my weird experience like the best way i can explain this feeling towards dave is "Idkk if i was you but probably mightve at some point like most likely at some point"

i hope i sound legiable (if i do post this AND someone actually reads this all) it is 4:08am and I feel too many things once i probably will sleep at 5 or 6 anyways byebye

[thefirsthogokage]

Criminal Minds 5x13:

'Risky Business"

Spoilers: Yes.

Reactions/Commentary Below The Cut

Girl gives Wednesday Adams vibes.

Damn, what the fuck?

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Interesting how now they are more likely to look into suicides, even definite suicide's, after that other case in which Derek was a jackass I assume because a writer had it out for him. Really wish I compared those two episodes with the Very Daft Dereks to see if they were the same, but I never marked them on my sheet.

----

Feels like someone is writing JJ that didn't write her before when this stuff should have come up. Unless there was a new suicide in her life.

----

They shouldn't be talking about some of this stuff to their parents. Or I guess in front of them. For the drama, of course.

----

Ugh, I hate this kids who were for all intents and purposes doing well (so far that we know) killed themselves. Maybe I should have my friend flag this stuff, it might stir up thoughts of my sister.

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Oh, right, not exactly suicides, a "game". They didn't expect to die, they were trying to get "high".

----

How the fuck would they keep score like that? Trust? Or just aiming for them to die?

----

I actually really like what Reid is doing here. He's pissed.

What, this kid doesn't think the other one is dea-oh he's running. Why you running...?

----

His eyes look pretty healthy, though.

Oh, there's going to be something off with the dad, right?

Oh, what did dad take from the computer?

----

Yeah, no way she looks like a cop.

She's very good with this kid, but they shave stuff in common.

Oh? The dad stepped in? What's he hiding?

That grab didn't look good.

Oh, that has to be asking for help.

Oh did the dad poison her? Yeah he did, didn't he? Why is he targeting kids?

----

Ahh, the days when passwords didn't need numbers and symbols.

----

Oh, the dad strangled him, right? To bring him back, right? Angel of death shit? Well certainly power thing. Oh Munchausen's By Proxy.

Really gonna kill his own son. I should be surprised though, that's what happens. Did it to his wife. Though I guess those were accidents, he will deliberately kill the kid.

Wait, so he did this to the kids to save him? That would be more like a savior thing on TOP of the M by P, right?

----

Oh don't worry kid, they know, they're coming.

I feel like some of these are leaps. But it's moving too fast and I'm too tired.

Why does he want to kill his son so bad? Yeah yeah clean up, but, I just, this doesn't 100% make sense to me! It really doesn't make a lot of sense to me. I think they did something wonky here.

----

JJ didn't actually push hard.

This should have come up the first episode with suicides. Like, I know JJ wasn't convinced of the suicide's from very early on, but this still feels late.

----

All this stuff about loss is always wrong.

It doesn't get better, it gets easier to live with. Maybe the pain is duller, sure, but if never goes away fully.

"you'll be happy," she says while crying.

Istg, people who wrote about loos like this, haven't experienced loss.

[moonstrider9904]

Very very very very very gentle reminder that if you take other people's content, remove the watermark/credit, put your own, and then use it to your benefit, you're the reason why creators have to get very creative with ways to keep people from taking what we make.

And you genuinely make the people you're taking from feel very upset.

And you're essentially stealing, btw.

[nono-bunny]

Started playing Cupid Parasite yesterday, and as per my nature I'm playing by following both a guide and the most common recommended route order, so it's gonna be like. A LONG while until I fully get the answers to absolutely all the mysteries of the game, but!

I thought it might be fun, if not for others to read then at the very least for sake of posterity as something I can to come back to in the future, to log my thoughts, feelings, and predictions!

So: let's get started!

I called Allan being an incubus from essentially the very beginning. I don't even know what about him gave it away so quickly for me, but. Yah I suspected it long before he even mentioned Jupiter or specifically seeking out Lynette

So like, I imagine we're all in agreement about Minerva ABSOLUTELY being what's-her-face Love-Sensei ™ who's just out here being the ultimate wingwoman for Kyu-chan, right??

The translation sucks SO bad it physically hurts me sometimes lmao. Also the inconsistencies in how they translate things have me constantly doing a double take, istg wtf the least they could have done was settle on one way to portray the Shotafication™ of Glamor Parasite (whose name I'm totally blanking on rn for whatever reason??? Give me a break alright, I'm not even past the common route 😭)

The secret route is just Chii, right? Like. It's absolutely just Chii becoming a person called Peter and talking in the funniest "How do you do, fellow humans" pattern. Like initially I thought it might be Owen because voiced bishi but then I realized that literally everyone in this game is gorgeous so. Yeah now I'm like 99% certain secret route is just Kyu-chan getting together with her fucking pet of 8 years or something lmao that should be. Interesting, can't wait for him to absolutely lose it on her for using him as a neck massager lmaoo

Incidentally, no clue who Chii is a spy for, but he ABSOLUTELY is one, or at least, started out as such. No clue what made him take human form either, but like. Ya'll, I'm certain he's Peter. You can't fool me with that generic white text layout, game!!

Wtf is up with that weird lady in disguise and when is Kyu-chan going to realize it's either her absentee mom or her work partner or whatever the fuck Hera is to her, because like. Yeah that lady is absolutely not just some random human, she's either Hera or Venus

Oh god this game has me all mixed up with it using both roman and greek names, ffs it's a nightmare keeping it straight in my head even though I've always been into mythology

Raul, my bro, I get you. We can be special interest pals!!! I'll geek out about it with you and won't slap you for your bad takes!! His "parasite issue" really does feel like it's just him being ND, huh?

Minerva gave SUCH strong Biblical Snake vibes when we first meet her and I HATE it because I think she's either managed to convince me she's just an ostracized goddess who seeks change and is only playfully spiteful in a non harmful way but. Honestly she may very well turn out to have just been playing 4d chess using Kyu-chan the entire time, it'd suck tho because I LOVE MY GEEKY AUNT/MOTHER FIGURE/BGF (BEST GODDESS FRIEND)

Consequently, Mars is either just an asshole of an old fart for no reason or Minerva is just. Genuinely bad news and he was actually the good one all along. UNLIKELY, but always possible. Also did he fucking kidnap Kyu-chan??? What's her relationship with her mom even like??

The game gets 10/10 for style, like 4/10 for being practical and easy to see. Fr good god I have to zoom enhance AND squint from like one cm away from the screen to see some of the stuff. Same goes for the sound design, tbh- mixing is a mess and I'm constantly fiddling with the settings, but by god(s) does everything sound GREAT! Also the car honk absolutely sends me every time I hear it, and that's. A lot fjxjksbwjz

It's so much fun!!! Truly living up to its name as a romcom so far but I'm not an idiot and I can sense the angst coming from a mile away lmao

That's all I can recall for now, might repost with more stuff or updates later on, might not, tbh I just wanna get back to the game, so!!!

Edit because literally as soon as I opened up the game I remembered something else:

Oh god Gill is REALLY toeing the line between absolutely stealing my heart and earning a restraining order lmao

[one-strugling-bean]

Random thoughts on HTTYD RttE S3 (Ep1-7)

Ep1 - Dagur is a lot of fun honestly, but I'm not sure how far this newfound "good faith" of his goes

Wow, he's a good fighter

I'm kinda afraid of that antidote, ngl

Hiccup, da heck? Why did you throw yourself out of the cavern??

Aww, the little sad look on Dagur's face when Hiccup yelled "I hate you"

Okay, yeah he is a good guy now

Well, more of a wild card really - I have 4 seasons ahead of me, I wouldn't be surprised if Dagur went back to the dark side at some point

The ep ends, and the only thing I know for sure is Astrid's not gonna be happy when those two get back to the Edge

Ep2 - Snotlout's high pitched yell is so funny, but I feel bad for laughing

Hookfang casually screeching at the Fire Worm Queen

Uhm, what history?? How do those two know each other? I wanna knowwwww! Im guessing it's from the first 2 seasons

Hiccup has so much patience for his team, istg - no wonder he's super snappy to his enemies

Okay, this Cavern Crasher looks super cool in all his originality (i mean, green fire, how cool is that??) but he's also a bit disgusting

The Fireworms babies are so so precious, and their cave looks really cool

He's singing the baby a lullaby?! How is he being so soft, omg

Ha, Hookfang's awkward grin when the Queen looked at them

"Ho, ho, no you don't!" You go, Fishlegs! No one touches baby dragons on his watch

Hookfang got himself the worst possible babysitting job ever - he's gotta protect a hundred baby dragons, their mother, and his dumb of ass rider

Queenie is such a cute nickname

Hookfang is the real MVP of this ep

Another cute Hiccup&Snotlout interaction - Hiccup is really supportive of everyone, it's sweet

Ep3 - Fishlegs' 2nd name is Justin?

Wow, Astrid and Ruff look weeeeird like that - and why is Gothi also wanting him??

Uhm, are we not gonna comment on Fishlegs dreaming of Snotlout confessing to him dressed as a bride too? No? Okay, then

"Why would Hiccup put you in charge?" Uhm, he's the only one with common sense, for starters

Okay, that throwing-the-pot thing is not cool, guys, please stop it,it's giving me ptsd

I want Fishlegs to punch one of them, but I don't think it'll happen - not now at least

Okay, I feel like Hiccup was a little harsh there. Fishlegs should not have to be their babysitter, they're old enough to know their actions have consequences. Before being disappointed in Fishlegs, he should be so at the others

Meatlug is such a sweetheart

So is Fishlegs

They actually kept the name Smidvarg, that's awesome

I would prefer to fight an angry Monstrous Nightmare over giving any money to Snotlout too

"-but he usually geeks out with me!" I love the nerdy friendship these two have, it's so sweet

Yay, Darkvarg!

Those two nerds are adorable

Ep4 - We're off to a great start already, with tired dad Hiccup

Oh, more of Spitelout huh - not sure how i feel about that

I kinda wanna see Snotlout's handwriting now, after he criticized his dad's so harshly

Spitelout built an entire house by himself in a month?

Hiccup deserves credit for being able to realize "Asia Fondue" was supposed to be "deja vu"

Snotlout is basically cradling Hiccup in that trap

I'm not understanding all this fear - compared to the last few we've seen, this one doesn't look too scary honestly

Snotlout was super confident about the S thing

Okayyy now it's getting dangerous, Snotlout please don't try to fight Stoick

Hiccup, ever the peace-maker

God, David Tennant is such a good voice actor, and the accent is so satisfying to hear, I caaaaan't

Okay, for once Stoick's comment was unnecessary, I don't think Spitelout knew of the underbelly thing either

Yeahh, Snotlout doesn't want to fight Stoick and Hiccup on this, he'd leave with them if his dad wasn't there

Hiccup really has the Jogersons' psyches well thought-out huh

Yayy for reconciliation! I think

I don't understand what was the meaning behind Snotlout and the yak, but it was cute that he saved it

And of course, he named it too

Ep5 - So remember when I said, way back there, that this show was gonna like to hurt Astrid a lot? Yeahhhh surprise, surprise

I really would like to meet the Thorston family

Wow, they all look serious for once, Snotlout even asked her, all worried, if she was okay, damn

The Buffalord reminds me so much of an Ivysaur, he's sho cute

Oh and he puffs! Niiiice

Okay, that was a cute Hiccstrid moment

Oh my lord seriously?? Hunters now??

"Fishlegs, I thought you were above name-calling!" God I hate him, but I love his dialogues

No medicine works that quickly, but sure

Also, yeah Buff is gonna puff out as soon as they try to move him, so the hunters are losing today

That was a powerful ending that I was not expecting

Ep6 - I'm honestly not sure who's gonna be proved wrong by the end of the episode, Hiccup's paranoia, or the gang's carelessness

Of course the chicken has a meal plan

It's annoying me that they're swimming with their clothes on, but I'll close my eyes to it

So the dragons aren't okay

You cannot tell me the other riders didn't hear Fishlegs' screams

It was something in the water I'm guessing, since Toothless is okay

Okay, maybe I'm biased, but isn't it always Toothless the last one standing, or the one dragon that doesnt get hurt, or the only one that notices something's wrong? Like, what about the others? Are Toothless' skills that above the other dragons that he notices what none other does?

This was a salty comment, but I do wonder

Omg, Gobber actually tried to follow Tuff's regime for the chicken

Tuff's chicken completely threw off Both Gobber and Stoick, that's great

Wow, they really all blame Hiccup, was not expexting that

Tuffnut saves the day!!

Omg, the Grimoras are so creepyyy, ew

Where did Fishlegs get those rocks?

Sooo, Snotlout and Hookfang burn down places together for fun? Okay, you piromaniacs

Tuffnut has a genuinely cute relationship with his chicken

Ep7 - God, of course those three would notice something like that

Also, all of them ganging up on him, and Fishlegs is just able to hold them all - everyone is so tiny compared to him, I wonder the damage Fishlegs could do if he wasn't so gentle

"Who said it's a she?" Snotlout keeping all options on the table like the dumbass bi he is

Snotlout is so delusional i love/hate it

Fishlegs' annoyed face and the little tsk before "Pretty much" was everything

Even Hiccup?? Jesus, no privacy

The shots they take at Hiccup's leg are really funny, im sorry

Aw, Fishlegs does have a crush on her too! We know she does because it was mentioned way back in S1 i think

I just noticed Snotlout's hut has a statue of him holding it, my god

I really wish someone would mention that Snotlout also went through a phase of crushing on Fishlegs, bad, even if it was while he was Thor. That would probably be funny

Awww, I kinda ship them now, they're so cute!

Aw, she has her own hut? It's so tiny and cute

Like, I know she's not staying, but I can't tell why yet, and I really don't want this to end in heartbreak...

These scenes with the Nadder flocks and then Toothless and Windshear are a nice reminder that the dragons are still, well, dragons - the others are already so well-trained I forget they were wild before and had to be trained

I hate myself for this, but I can't help but think Heather is using Windshear as an excuse... There's something else here

Hookfang!!! No, let go of the tsundere dragon!

Sooo, Tuff speaks spanish, okay

"Beans, Snotlout. They're called beans!" "Beeeans~" Omg, these two i swear

Wow, so she is staying, okay, nice, I'm gonna enjoy seeing where this is going

Soo, that's it for the first part of S3

This was a long one, hope that's okay :T

[yaomomvs]

SEIJOH MANANGER HEADCANONS

seijoh, aoba johsai x reader | slight oikawa, iwaizumi and kunimi x reader.

a/n: ugh! i just love my seijoh boys so much! and so, i decided to make one more headcanons for them, tysm! hopefully i’ll do inarizaki next or maybe karasuno.

a bit long but i just love them,and i will do a part two mainly focusing on while they do volleyball this is more of random things

other seijoh!manager works: one | two

the volume in this bus is ASTRONOMICAL

you actually never thought of joining a club, specially a sports one.

but you needed it, so while looking at the board of the school’s options you were unsure.

“i just really need something not that complicated, and that helps me helping others” you muttered to yourself

little did you know the coach of the volleyball team was there, this nice man turned to you and offered you a place in the team.

“but please if you are one of oikawa’s fangirls dont-” “who now?” you genuinely asked. seeing that you didn’t had a clue of who he was talking about he immediately handed the application for to you.

it was first day and you were already late, but you managed to enter the gym half way practice.

you guys remember that tanaka and kiyoko scene in s4? well it was the same

“sorry for being late coach!” your voice sounded all over the place since someone was serving and it was pretty quiet.

ALL OF THEM WERE SHOCKED LIKE 🧍🏻‍♀️

the serve even hit yahaba’s face because everyone got distracted by your beauty

“i- did i do something?” “existing omg”

the coach lined up everyone and they greeted you welcoming you to the team.

you were flustered because it was like you never had a lot of guys around you and now you had to take care of all of them and also

aoba johsai’s team had one of the most attractive boys around likeeee

now, a year later, the energy is purely chaotic.

and i mean like

kindaichi and kunimi are lowkey the ones who respect you the most

not only because you, even if it was for only a year, you were their upperclassman but also you had presence

when karasuno came to the practice andy oh catched both of them after talking to kageyama in the bathroom, you pinched their ears and scolded them

“you both do that again and i’m not being compassionate” “SORRY Y/N”

but also lowkey your admirers

kunimi literally only showed strong emotions around you

“i brought you some sweets” he regularly says

“oh you are great! thank you kunimi!”you appreciated this guys little details with you

“so you have a favoritism with our manager huh?”

“y/n permission to hit kindaichi”

“permission conceded”

kindaichi also respected you because you, when he entered seijoh months ago, were one of the ones who made him believe and helped getting over that anger he had with his ex teammates and you even assured that kageyama was the reason he got better, even if he wouldn’t accept it

the second years, your literal followers

like seriously yahaba watori were always around you.

being in the same grade and class as both dod not helped a lot.

they are like puppies with anxiety separation

because you are the reason they feel loved and cared for

they always sit next to you in class, and they make sure you are comfortable with it.

you need help with hw? watori always is there

yahaba lets you paint his nails every time you got bored in class

you were such a powerful trio

they always bring your favorite drink in the mornin

you even developed this sixth sense where if you just look at each other you know exactly who are you making fun of without even speaking

you always make fun of the shit way of yahaba to flirt oml

and you even advice him on what should he do or not when meeting someone new.

istg if it was not bc of you he would have never got his first date with his crush

kyoutani later joined you, but he had trouble on trusting you

but seeing all the team laying on you he actually let himself rely on another person for the first time

he was the one who scared those stupid volleyball boys fan girls (oikawa’s or the other guys ones) away from you

he also thinks that you are not bad physically talking and he actually says it but privately

he also whenever he is mad or just frustrated comes to you and what he likes is that you don’t go in deep of the details but instead you try to distract him with random thing you say.

“guys i told you several times” you laughed “i do have other thing to do! it not like i can attend every night out with you! i have other friends too!”

“so, we are not watching cartoons tonight?”

“i hate you all so much” you surrendered “see you at 8 pm”

you became the second years core four

and also they looked up to you a lot, why? because you are the only people who always deals with the third years shit

god i think your connection with the third years was only a bit more noticeable than the second years

why? you were not afraid to mess up with them

to be real iwaizumi as oikawa caught your eye since moment one, they were naturally attractive and talented but you made a promise to not fall for anyone

omg you were so wrong

if it was iwaizumi, he always made sure you felt comfortable around

you were no vb genius so he took the time to explain you a bunch of things you did not know 🥺

also, he’s the kind of guy to stop everyone spiking because you were crossing through the gym so no ball gets you

he is the one who always search for you in school, asked about your day, and stuff that might seem basic but it was really meaningful

like he is the kind of guy who memorizes all your favorite places, treats, music anything and actually tries to get you to talk about it

oikawa on the other hand was the one who actually made you feel like part of them

he is so sweet!

like

oikawa only starts practice when you are there

like bold of someone to start hitting a ball without you there, he considered you part of the team, so he always waited for you

he walked you home or nearby every time he could he wanted you safe

his eyes always always instantly light up and screams “y/n-chan!” and immediately runs to you

but also he is the one who search you the most around

if it was lunch time he went to your home room and literally lunches with you no matter what or who

he never lets anyone lend you their hoodie, it always has to be his that you are wearing

he self crowned himself as your favorite

he hugs you out of nowhere istg is the best feeling ever

hanamaki also also also considers you priority

he is kinda more of the lowkey one, he is mainly the one who checks up on you

he once spotted a bruise in your arm and he immediately freaked out

“DO I HAVE TO FIGHT SOMEONE” “god no! i just dropped a huge book there!”

hanamaki is the one who waits for you in the entrance of the gym to walk with you to practice

he also is the first one to notice if something is wrong with you along with iwachan

they both unintentionally pay attention to you a lot and if you do something out of the common they just approach you

and they are always right

“what’s wrong y/n?” hanamaki says

“yeah, is everything okay you need anything?” iwaizumi continues.

“what do you mean guys? i’m okay” you obviously try to lie.

“no you are not, you are acting different”

“yea iwachan is right you always change yous t shirt before practice and the way you are ordering the volleyballs is off”

“why do know me so well” you indeed had a terrible day, so you almost tear up bb of that and be of how amazing your boys were to you sometimes”

“come here little one”

you heard a pout

“i see you oikawa, you can get a hug too. matsu come here”

matsukawa is your hype man

he loves messing with you like in the big brother sister way

like if a guy asked you out he’d be like “sis you can do so much better”

you are always being salty whether it’s between you or other ones

besides if you do have a crush on anyone on the team matsu is the only one to know

and he’d constantly blackmail you with that

“if you don’t buy me anything from the vending machine i will tell oikawa you actually swoon for him” “OKAY FINE”

“tell the coach that we do not need laps or iwaizumi is gonna knowwwww about” “i hate you so much”

but returning to the point you always messed with them specially the four third years

and you were so good at it

one day, you ‘innocently’ mentioned to the boys “i’m just telling you! i’ve never seen two pretty best friends, one of them always gotta be ugly”

GOD LORD THE BOMB YOU JUST ACTIVATED

THEY SPENT A WHOLE WEEK TRYING TO FUGURE OUT WHO WAS THE PRETTY BEST FRIEND BETWEEN IWA AND OIKAWA, ALSO MATSU AND HANAMAKI AHHAHAHAAH

your third years never made you feel insecure

like if you think idk listening to btr was weird because someone in the past made you feel like it be sure the next day they WILL PLAY FUCKING BIG TIME RUSH IN PRACTICE ONLY FOR YOU TO VIBE WITH THEM

also they all four have this little thought that they have to be the ones who protect you

in the court you looked out for them, outside of it they were the ones who did that

if you were teased or someone even had the audacity to make fun of you it could go three ways

you stoping kyoutani and yahaba because they were so ready to throw hands

matsukawa, hanamaki and kunimi just taking you out of there and rather say positive thinks about you

or oikawa and iwaizumi behind you giving the saltiest and meanest glares to whoever dared talking you that way and saying “and you still wonder why people don’t like you?, ” then iwaizumi says “you are right oikawa, you piece of crap have your entire life to be a jerk. take a day off your stupidity won’t left anyways”

god you sure loved those guys

BUT

as it can be really useful sometimes there were other times were they become so annoying

specially when it’s about someone liking you.

like romantic styles

i live for the idea that the vb team had obviously fangirls, oikawa mostly. but you also did

like yeah the fangirls of oikawa and the boys envied you

but the guys in aoba johsai high envied the volleyball team even more

god bless the poor guy or girl who DARES to ask you out

like please someone stop them 😭

on valentine’s day you came to practice a bit late just because you needed to figure it out how to organize all the fucking love letters and the chocolates and flowers that you got over the day.

oikawa was already worried as he always waited for you to start, and so were the guys so they decided to warm up a bit more to wait.

you crossed the door with thousands of gifts and all of that barely catching the ones which you dropped. because at this point you did not even try to hide it from the boys, you just wanted them to start practice.

he looked at you and knew exactly what that meant. he received this every once in a while, but god what was that feeling in his chest when some other people like you?

iwaizumi felt that too, that weird feeling not wanting anyone to think about you that wayyyyy

the rest of the boys had divided opinions but still you were their manager.

“so did all this came from...”

“yes matsu...”

“okay but for scientific purposes we need the names”

“HANAMAKI NO”

poor boys, they just are all scared that you’ll leave them because of someone

what a dramatic queens they are all

some of them didn’t like it bc they also had a big crush on you

so what they do is that they gatekeep anyone from you

like oml if they ever catched you and a girl or guy and they knew they liked you they constantly beg for your attention.

and it’s not only because they are being dramatic but also because they remember last year when you went out with some random dude and broke your heart like

they almost killed that guy

so they wanted you to feel happy and safe

to them? honestly you are the light of their life.

they dedicate every game to you, they take care of you, they listen to you, they brag about you, they love you

because honestly you did all that for them first

and ever since then they made sure to return that to you.

[kenkamishiro]

Lost in Translation: Choujin X chapter 1

Fun fact, I was planning to do fan translations for Choujin X with a scan group until it could get a simulpub release, though I didn’t expect it to get one from the very first chapter lol. I’m happy though since it means everyone can read it right away and it doesn’t mess up my schedule.

So instead I’ll be making comparison notes between the EN and JP text to supplement the official translation. I’m not doing this because the official TL is bad (I actually think it’s pretty solid and I hope it will maintain this quality) but because it’s inevitable for something to be lost in translation, and it’s nice to have that additional context for theory crafting and whatnot.

If you want to read it on Twitter instead, the original thread is here, but this is the proofread and way more detailed version 😄

This translation isn’t wrong, but there’s an emphasis on それ (which is TLed as ‘it’) that connotes a stronger, “other, that thing” feeling that isn’t present here. The general idea behind this sentence is: That [becoming a Choujin] resembles more of a disease [than a transformation].

Ely talks like a tomboy, she uses rougher speech patterns and the pronoun オラ (ora), a derivative of the masculine 'ore'. But it's a bit old-fashioned (eg. すまなんだ) which makes sense considering her upbringing with her grandfather on a farm. Hence her country bumpkin speech pattern in English.

Not sure if I should use Ellie or Ely? Ellie makes more sense based on the kana, but Ishida explicitly called her Ely so I might stick with Ely for now... (also istg that blond guy with the huge chin is a reference, I've seen him somewhere)

Tokio, I know your teacher is annoying, but it's rude to call her that lol. This is basically the oppai equivalent of paisen (senpai backwards, it’s slangier). Similar thing actually happened with Ely describing her dream hubby as Goldilocks instead of blond; ‘kinpatsu’ (blond hair) was inverted to become ‘patsukin’, hence the translation as Goldilocks.

Kurohara Tokio (黒原トキオ) and Higashi Azuma (東アヅマ). Kurohara is a common surname, means 'black fields'. Tokio is in katakana, so it’s hard to say what kanji it could be. 'Toki' could be 時 (time) or 外喜 (outside + delight). The 'o' can be the common male name suffix 男 (boy).

But when I think of Tokio, I think of TK's song called 'tokio'. You can read the translated lyrics here. If these lyrics end up being relevant to Tokio's character development I will eat my shoe lol.

Higashi means 'east'. Azuma (which can also be romanized as Aduma, it’s a softer ‘zu’ sound which is why Tokio called Azuma ‘Aju’ earlier in the chapter before correcting himself) is an archaic form of ‘east’. So...this guy is literally East East. The Choujin X equivalent of Moon Moon 😂

Someone also informed me that Higashi Azuma is a station in Tokyo, though the kana are slightly different (アヅマ／あづま vs. あずま). They effectively sound the same though nowadays, if I have to be honest. It’s like comparing the difference between 애 and 에 in Korean.

Tbh this is minor, but worth mentioning just cause it changes the meaning a bit. Tokio is saying something more like, “Why are we even talking about this [the roly-polies] again?”

I think I heard people talking about how the official TL doesn’t match the original text, but personally I really like how this was translated! Sis is using the expression  「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」, which literally means “boiling the dirt under someone’s fingernails and drinking it”. By taking the dirt/grime under the fingernails of someone that you admire, and boiling it and drinking it like a tea, you can become more like them.

But because idioms don’t tend to directly translate well between languages, translators often have to adapt it so that the meaning still remains the same. In English the closest idiom we have to this is “rubbing off on someone.” The “holding hands” bit was added to replace the physical aspect of “taking the dirt from someone’s fingernails” and also contribute to Sis’s sassy and very informal way of speaking.

So Sis is saying in JP (ignoring her personal speech style for now):

You should take the dirt from under [Azuma's] fingernails and boil it so you can be more like him.

And now in ENG it becomes:

You guys should hold hands or something, then maybe he’ll rub off on you.

It now sounds natural in English, still carries the same meaning as the original text, and also suits the character’s speech pattern.

Moving on, in that same panel the literal TL of Tokio’s dialogue is, “Policeman Azuma got dispatched again today,” emphasizing Azuma’s heroic deeds along with his family connections to the police. Another thing I want to note is that this is the second time Azuma has been called 偉い (erai) so far - noble, and now great guy. I’ll just dump the general English definition of 偉い from Jisho here so you get the general idea:

Great; excellent; admirable; remarkable; distinguished; important; celebrated; famous; eminent

But you can tell from how people describe Azuma as 偉い that others look up to him, think he’s a great person and Mr. Perfect. Always being placed on a pedestal by others. (What are the odds this will affect his mentality after the Choujin serum?)

The meaning is still pretty much the same, but I’ll offer a slightly different perspective. Sis mentions that if she were Tokio, she’d burst from the [Azuma] complex. (Clearly Tokio and Azuma's relationship is gonna crack at some point)

Tokio mentions an idiom about hawks (taka) before recalling his childhood memory about vultures. Vultures are called 'hagewashi', but in the chapter it mentions they can also be called 'hagetaka' (buzzard/condor, literally bald hawk).

The kids call him names like "Hagetaka Tokio" and "Hageo". But Hagetaka Tokio only really works in JP cause Hagetaka kinda mimics his last name (Buzzard Tokio doesn't give the same vibe). Same with Hageo. Hage-o = Bald-o = Baldy.

I also think Buzzard was chosen over another name for a vulture like Condor because Buzzard can pass off as an insult.

I would have translated this as, “I wanted to be a lion too...” but this is just personal preference.

A continuation of the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression Sis used earlier. Without the adapted idiom the exchange goes something like this:

Tokio: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

Azuma: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

Tokio: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

Azuma: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

But since the 「爪の垢を煎じて飲む」 expression was modified to make it sound natural in English, it means this conversation has to be modified too.

JP: My sister said I should bring home the dirt from under your nails. Can I have some?

EN: My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you. What do you think?

The “dirt from under your nails” part got adapted to “holding hands”, hence how the 1st line from Tokio becomes, “My sister says we should hold hands...so I can be more like you.” “Can I have some?” makes no sense now in this context now, so it was changed to “What do you think?” as a question to Azuma to keep the similar conversation flow going.

JP: ...huh? What for, that’s scary. No way.

EN: Huh? What’re you talking about? No thanks.

Azuma’s next line is similar enough to the JP text except for the removal of “scary”. I think the reason it was most likely removed is because leaving it as it is could be constituted as homophobic (2 boys holding hands, absolutely nothing scary about it as bible thumpers would like people to believe).

JP: I have to boil it and drink it, apparently.

EN: She said to hold hands so you’ll rub off on me.

Tokio’s response to that is explaining what he meant by his proposal. In the original text he lays out the latter half of the idiom (he doesn’t even realize it’s an expression, poor boy), and in English he does something similar by going into why his sister said they should hold hands (so Azuma can rub off on Tokio).

JP: Don’t even think about boiling or drinking it.

EN: C’mon. That’s not how things work.

Azuma’s then rebuts Tokio’s proposal as ridiculous. In the original text he drops a typical straight man response (don’t do *insert whatever ridiculous thing the idiot suggested*). But since Tokio’s proposal in English isn’t as preposterous, his rebuttal is toned down in response by telling him not to take it literally.

Ultimately, even though a lot of this dialogue was changed, I still think it was successful in maintaining the original’s intent. Tokio takes his sister’s sarcastic suggestion literally and brings it up to Azuma, who dismisses it as silly. It would be nice if we could keep the expression as it was in Japanese, but in instances like this where it’s played off of in multiple lines, that’s easier said than done.

軟体 isn’t an actual word, it’s made up of the kanji soft + body. So kinda like Elastigirl, but Flexi was chosen instead. It doesn’t sound 100% right, but I don’t think I could come up with anything better.

Replacing the しい in 楽しい with the C plus that elongated pronunciation makes Johnny sound even more like a stereotypical Yankee, which is why he sounds like that in English 😂

Random but I found it interesting how Azuma called Johnny a youkai (妖怪) instead of something like bakemono (化け物) or obake (お化け) since they’re shapeshifting monsters.

Tokio is worried that if he doesn't do something right now, he's going to lose his friendship with Azuma. The sentence is fine as it is though.

Azuma’s line can also be worded as, "No hard feelings, okay?"

Bestial = 獣化 (juuka) = beast+change = beast transformation

That’s it from me, if you have questions about the TL feel free to send an ask or reply to this post, I promise I’ll check my inbox more often this time 😂

[logicalstansadvice]

I think the reason why you guys find the post ridiculous is because it wasn’t you. I’m trying to put myself in that girl’s shoes: imagine being called out that way? You guys are the ridiculous ones. Have respect. She was clearly hurt by it.

Anon 2: Imagine a poor girl posting an apology and you all making fun of her for ti. You’re all terrible people.

Anon 3: These comments about the girl are a bit rude don’t you think?

Anon 4: deuxmoi just shared a statement from the girl who shared that spotting clarifying what was her intention>> He's right, he could be making a complaint, and the person, not knowing what was going on, decided to pretend she knew what he was talking about.

Anon 5: Hmmm maybe we just don’t understand her apology because it was her and not us. We shouldn’t try to understand something we probably won’t. She used the platform to reach seb or his friend, not us. We don’t get it because it wasn’t us.

Anon 6: I think the issue is even if he was talking about having an issue with her, I can see it easily being interpreted as so and it must feel terrible and maybe that’s the issue with the comments he keeps making. I think he needs to tone it down a bit.

Anon 7: I think she makes a good point to be honest. Just like she made a mistake, even though he was being funny or trying to be I can imagine how it must be insulting to her for him to assume her spotting was her trying to violate his privacy when she just didn’t think first. I think people are being harsh on her when it should actually be a wake up call for everyone including seb to take a step back and calm down before saying things, because others can also misinterpret it and be offended too.

Anon 8: Your bias about that poor girl is palpable

Anon 9: Stop calling that girl’s submission an essay or a big ass post. Maybe actually read it? It was kind. You’re no better if you’re reacting to an apology statement with bullying.

Anon 10: I go on Reddit and see ss of this big ass apology to Seb from DMs ig. Wtf happened??? / it's basically reddit roasting a fan for a cringey 3 page apology letter she wrote after Sebastian called out her creepy stalking behaviour on a podcast. And the op is also in the reddit thread defending her letter, so cringe. istg, people like this make me embarrassed to be in this fandom.

Lady Danger - Maybe I’m plum out of empathy for people with a lack of common sense but you know the people who have to announce they’re leaving social media or whatever? That’s what this reminded me of because it’s not about the statement, it’s about the attention. Either way, glad she learned something.

Vamp - "Sebastian Stan, I'm sorry that I misconstrued your private conversation and made it public by submitting a gossip site."

Done.

There was no need to release a 2 page statement that reads like a non-apology.

[thechangeling]

Ok we talk about Kit being a monsterfucker a lot but

What about Ty?

I feel like he should be added to this conversation

Ly you are the only valid person in this fandom istg/hj.

But anyways I brought this up with Alex and he was like not really having it, mostly because Ty is at the scholomance and not really in direct proximity to downworlders. But I say, respectfully he is wrong /lh.

If Alyssa comes and goes as a consultant then other downworlders can too. And there's no reason why he can't leave to go on training missions and stuff and ge could very likely run into some there.

It absolutely makes sense because, not to over-generalize, but I'm about to. Being a monsterfucker is kind of a common autistic thing. Like every autistic person I know went through a phase where they wanted a werewolf or vampire significant other as a kid and some still do (I know I do). Weird shit tends to be our forte and the weirder and freakier the better! Obviously this isn't true for everyone, probably not for most aroace people but still.

Anyways in conclusion you are absolutely right.