It is incredibly isolating to navigate through fandom as an aromantic person. Aro experiences are so varied, and there is no definite aro experience that encapsulates the alienation that fandom spaces cause for certain people.
Fandom is mostly built and structured on shipping. And if not, the blorbofication of characters, which tends to go down the shipping pipeline; where does that leave the romance repulsed aro person who genuinely does not want to see any form of shipping? Platonic dynamics, right?
Yeah, sure. But by platonic dynamics, it's only "best friends" or "family" right? Where does that leave the aro folks with undefined labels? No, qprs aren't a get-out-of-jail card.
And qprs- they have no rules or standards set upon them by society, not even having a clear definition for what it is, because not all qprs are the same. Yet, for some reason, it ended up becoming the "nonbinary" option to a lot of people- not romantic or "regular" platonic? Qpr it is, right?
But where does that leave the aro folk who don't want a qpr? Who don't wish to see characters depicted in pairs or trios or so forth- who embrace the lack of a partner?
And these concepts presented; when aro folk talk about them, do you care? And if you do, do you understand? Do you try to?
If you aren't aro, but wish to be supportive, are you a genuine ally? Do you raise the concerns of aro folk you share the space with?
Or do you take a look at these concepts- and decide you understand them "well" enough? Do you decide to speak for aro folks instead?
Do you depict relationships outside of romance because you believe in the importance of platonic relationships? Will you accept the fact that not all platonic interactions will be familial or "best friends"?
Can you accept depictions of qprs outside of "more than friends, less than lovers"? Are you willing to accept it is not just "best friends" or "romance lite"? Will you accept that nothing is inherently romantic- and characters in a qpr may fall under your standards of lovers?
Can you resist the urge to put every character in a pair or trio or group? Are you comfortable with the notion of characters finding more joy in being by themselves, outside of all those lenses you see them in?
It's good if you can.
And if you can't, at the very least, do you understand why some aro folk in your space are upset? Embittered by your favorite ships? Starving for representation?
Did you depict these characters with these concepts with the knowledge that aromanticism is fluid?
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one small detail that stood out to me about this latest episode that i haven’t seen anyone else talking about yet is that when the commentators are calling colin “inspiring” and the “man of the match,” they are celebrating him not for actually scoring the goals himself, but for providing the crucial assists to make both of them happen. and i really love that because for me it’s the absolute perfect wrap to his character arc across all three seasons!
like, we know that colin’s job on this team has never been to score goals. in fact i’m pretty sure we’ve never heard about a single goal that he has scored. colin is and always has been a team player, not a star—and we’ve seen that crop up over and over. notably, we’ve seen the fact that he’s not entirely at peace with that crop up over and over: see the way he was affected by nate’s entire holidy-inn-painting monologue, being benched to make room for zava, etc.—like, this is the thing he’s sensitive about! this is where all of his insecurities come from!
but at the SAME TIME it’s also tied very intimately with all his struggles re: hiding his sexuality— “colin’s a chameleon,” etc. it’s fascinating because there’s SO much tension there between colin 1. feeling bad about the fact that he never stands out on the pitch the way some of his teammates do, because of who he is on the team, and 2. feeling like he CAN’T stand out, ever, because of Who He Is As A Person. etc. it’s like. he’s filling this role in the background. he’s afraid he’s not doing it well enough. he’s afraid that what and who he is isn’t good enough and isn’t worthy of recognition. he wishes he were someone different. trying to be someone different in the locker room is clearly making him so unhappy and stressed out. it is All Connected and my thoughts have been doing laps around it at an ever-increasing rate since i watched episode 2.07 ‘headspace’ if not before!
and all of this is why it’s so incredible to me that in the end, colin’s big moment comes from making assists and not goals! because on the one hand i understand the fandom desire for the colin post-coming out glowup that we all knew was coming—to see him, like, ~prove everybody wrong about him~ and inspire people by suddenly becoming a standout player and scoring goals left and right, even though that never used to be his role on the team before. and don’t get me wrong, i was 100% on board that train, and would have loved it for him if that was how it went down in the end, also. i think he should get to score here and there! as a treat! especially now that richmond are playing total football and there’s been so much emphasis placed on how it’s not just jamie/dani/occasionally sam who are making all the goals anymore!
but i don’t know! especially after the events of the last few episodes, there’s something very special to me about getting to see a colin who, rather than becoming someone entirely new in the moments right after coming out, just feels free to become, and be at peace with, the best version of the same self he’s always been. he’s still a team player first and foremost, but now that he’s not as weighed down by the need to chameleon/hide/pretend to be someone he’s not, he’s so much better at it. and everyone sees this! he gets to be celebrated for his contributions within the role he’s always played! he (and everybody else!) finally recognizes the value that he adds to the team just by being himself—fully himself! it resolves all the tension and insecurity that we’ve seen him struggling with this whole time, on every level. and so this moment was genuinely the perfect ending for his journey in my opinion—i’m so so happy that we were tall enough to join him on the ride here, and so excited to see what he does going forward these last few episodes now that some of that pressure is off him <3
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sorry but I’ll be on my deathbed defending roman for the comment about kendall’s kids. obviously saying someone’s adopted/non-bio kids aren’t really theirs is a horrible thing to say. but he’s not saying it, logan did. roman is just using it as a pointed example of why the conversation was so ludicrous in the first place. this is who our father was. this is the kind of thing he believed. none of this matters.
and kendall fucking deserved it
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You know, I wonder how Fingolfin's people were holding on while on Ice, like, spiritually. (not the royal family, their people) I think that, after few years, at least some of them were treating the Ice as a Valar punishment for Alqualonde.
When they came to Beleriand, the Moon rised for the first time, not to mention the Sun. They could see it as being forgiven. And of course there was Fingon rescuing Maedhros with eagle's help, which solidified the belief for them.
it suprisingly didn't make things between Feanorian and Fingolfin's people worse during Long Peace. It absolutely broke the Noldor after Nirnaeth, when everyone blamed Feanorians lack of repenting to the Valar for losing the battle.
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Someone shared a post about the pear of anguish, saying it was used to torture slaves, and I thought its design was interesting but something felt slightly off, so I looked it up.
The first thing you see when you look this thing up is that its usage is disputed.
Apparently the mechanism doesn't seem to work the way it's said to work? It's said that people would slowly enlarge the opening in order to spread an orifice wider and wider, and that it could even break jaws.
The thing is, this device does not seem to open in this way. It seems to spring open. The screw mechanism is for closing it.
I relayed this information, thinking this was someone who would actually care about fact checking. "It might not actually have worked in this way. Its usage is disputed."
For some fucking dadblamed reason, they took this as me... questioning the existence of racism? And denying the suffering of black people?
I do a little more digging, and it's basically the same thing over and over. One guy insists that it's totally a torture device, because why else would it be in torture chamber museums?
I don't know, buddy, maybe because people like to make up stories and scare others.
That's one running theory for the existence of this thing: people wanted a good story. They wanted to be able to sell that story in order to make money. So they made elaborate devices and charged people to see them, or displayed them in order to scare their guests.
This part of the speculation, by the way, is from medieval times. There are no modern accounts of this item's usage.
We have so many accounts of slavery. We have so many ways to spread information. We're still able to converse with some of the children of the people who are still alive. We can still see the documents they left during that time.
Why would they leave this out? If it were actually in use, why would they relay the whippings, the confinement, the rape, the starvation, the harsh working conditions, the lynchings, the forced assimilation, and just... not mention this part?
Their friend piled on. I told him my statement was based on the way the device functions, and not "white people wouldn't do that." I told them that I didn't expect better from him, because I didn't know him, but I did expect better from them.
Apparently this was me making assumptions.
Gonna be honest, I didn't read the entirety of their responses, because this sort of thing is maddeningly upsetting to me. I thought I was safe to say something because, when I accidentally sent them a video by Alexis Nelson, they called it funny and informative. I know that doesn't seem like much, but... honestly, Alexis isn't going to be up everyone's alley, and sometimes that's due to bigotry. So I thought they would actually care, and not be mad about being checked. I've been in that situation plenty of times, and I normally don't say anything if I don't think I'm going to get through. I only say something if I have hope for that person.
I thought I might actually have a potential friend, and said person responded to "Hey this information might not be accurate" with... honestly, I can barely even parse the way they worded things? Something about slavery happening whether it was disputed or not.
I just wanted to fact check an unsourced facebook post.
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