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#which. again. is false
itspileofgoodthings · 5 months
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my life is a very slow process of everyone around me telling me not to be anxious and me fighting them all tooth and nail while inching towards more stable mental health.
#I know it’s not true but sometimes I feel like if I didn’t have anxiety I would not suffer at all#which. again. is false#but there’s a lot of things I don’t want in this life and a lot of things I am not scared of and a lot of things I just accept#and like. It’s FINE#but all my suffering from anxiety stays in one fixed flame of sheer agony#and it’s hard because I don’t shake like a chihuahua in the corner of my bedroom#unable to move or function#I’m always doing things and functioning and joking at parties and (generally) saying the right thing#but it’s all located in one corner in the middle of my mind attacking my ability to make judgments and live with my decisions peacefully#like an unseen wound#and the distance i feel it puts between me and other people#is one of the most painful things#just several sheets of frosted glass between me and them#and sometimes the worst it gets is when I can bear it without breaking down and so I just do and I just keep functioning#and the cold just creeps in and everything goes kind of numb!#tbh now that I think about it this might be why I often think of myself as a person with no desires or ambitions or dreams#or impetus or forward motion or anything#because I DO want things and have opinions and the exist in flashes. But also they’re buried deep under several layers of protective apathy#so they’re not stable. I drop them many times. forget them ignore them imagine that they aren’t there. I’m sorry I’m rambling I’m FINE#actually when I talk about it that’s how you know I’m doing okay with it#when I can’t talk about it and am half-heartedly going through the motions#that’s the problem#anyway whew. thanks for listening sorry for all the self-reflection etc. etc. etc.
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orcinus-veterinarius · 2 months
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Five critically endangered northern right whales dead from boat strikes and netting entanglements, and representatives are introducing a bill to Congress to… ban aquarium belugas from breeding.
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rawliverandgoronspice · 5 months
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zelda truly do be one of the only fandoms where you will get dragged by fellow fans for feeling attachment towards the world and the characters
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draw-eat-repeat · 9 days
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Pony Plas
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siilvan · 6 months
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i am once again disappointed but not surprised at the COD fandom only caring about “sensitivity” when it’s convenient for them
#telling people it’s morally wrong to simp for makarov#whilst simping for graves or valeria#or ANY character in this damn series#just shows that you only give a shit about ‘sensitivity’ when it doesn’t inconvenience you#‘but he’s bad :(’ my brother in christ. let’s talk about western militaries#price nikolai and gaz literally kidnapped and tortured an innocent woman and child#the UK and US militaries have DEVASTATED vulnerable countries#y’all wanna talk about sensitivity?? then acknowledge how even the ‘good’ characters like the 141 are shitty!#none of these characters are good people!#i cannot stress this enough. eliminating characters because they’re ‘problematic’ eliminates the entire cast. every single one of them.#MAYBE farah would be safe?? i’m not knowledgeable enough to say for certain. but everyone else— 141. los vaqueros. laswell. alex. nikolai. +#valeria. graves. every last warzone operator. EVERY single character is ‘off-limits’ with that logic.#COD fandom is also horribly racist despite pretending it’s not. notice how people only talk about this when it’s white folks being impacted#no one gave a shit when a middle eastern woman and child were kidnapped and tortured. or when fans were romanticizing cartel violence.#or how the SAS CIA and Delta Force have histories of terrorizing vulnerable people; especially in the middle east and asia#i’ve said it before and i’ll say it again before anyone accuses me of smth false:#sensitivity is important. it can co-exist with letting people enjoy problematic things. the source itself is problematic —#ergo. everything that comes from it (even the ‘good’ things) is as well.#you can’t cherry pick which characters people are allowed to be critical of. you can have your faves and have the ones you dislike#but don’t act like you’re doing something noble when your sensitivity is biased.#sylph.talks
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alagaesia-headcanons · 9 months
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Looking back on my old Morzan aus, I maintain that Morzan having a redemption arc is a very fun and interesting concept because it provides a way to explore his original intentions through their transformation down the line, and I like considering the different impacts he could have had on Murtagh's life. I also stand by my decision to pair him with Brom each time because they make for the funniest couple imaginable. But I may need to go back to the idea, because I never got around to bringing it to its natural conclusion of Morzan/Selena/Brom: Alagaesia's most unhinged polycule.
Brom should have not just one, but two newly reformed ex evil henchmen lovers who he has to keep on leashes like excitable dogs because they're doing their best, but they're still way too quick to jump to murder as a potential solution to every problem they run into. And yet Morzan and Selena are also the ones to rein in Brom's absurdly convoluted and paranoid plans because their new moral compass has never once realized that part of the reason he's always going through it is because he causes himself twice as many problems as he solves. They'd be such an incredible mess, I need them together.
I just want to turn IC into a comedy about Morzan, Selena, and Brom attempting to dismantle the empire and assassinate the king without literally burning everything down in the process, while trying to raise their kids to be at least marginally less insane than them.
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puppydoggraham · 7 months
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Beyond done with tiktok someone posted this and there’s sm comments about how David should’ve been Hannibal/that would’ve been great…literally going insane this type of anger is what drove Hannibal to cannibalism
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muninnhuginn · 10 days
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The way qiu qingzhi/qiu shenji sees through lb instantly regardless of medium and yet still misses the most important part.
#the whole bit in the cdrama where they're discussing how well they know each other and qqz says he knows lb better than lb realises#and he's not wrong! but qqz still doesn't understand him /enough/ to avert everything. meanwhile lb does know qqz better than qqz realises#bc even when saying they're not friends lb still /believes/ in him or at least knows enough of him to know which accusations are false.#they both understand the other more than the other realises whilst still holding back from each other.#meanwhile in the manhua/donghua lb tries to reach out and hits a wall w/ qsj bc qsj understands the politics of this more than lb does#despite lb losing his family and distrusting the empress his sense of justice still makes him too easily to manipulate.#the tensions btwn minister xu + qsj had been stoked but qsj refused to rise to it (even w/o knowing the extent of bg manipulation)#but lb was the piece in the right position to fast track the 'investigation' not realising it could only ever lead to a rigged execution#in both cases everyone is trapped by something bigger than themselves. can only work w/n the framework that will lead to their doom.#it's just that only qsj/qqz is fully aware of it. lb doesn't yet comprehend. he thinks he does. but until qqz/qsj takes the hit he doesn't.#and qsj/qqz miscalculating wrt lb. reading his 'show' for what it is. but still missing the most important detail.#qsj/qqz fumbling the personal side bc of the politics whilst lb barges into the politics w/o fully reading the waves he's creating...#anyway don't mind me. just intensely glad the tag isn't dead even if the overlap of cdrama and manhua/donghua watchers is tiny.#white cat legend#white cat legend spoilers#<- for my own tags again
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sysig · 1 month
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Pivotal bright spot (Patreon)
#Doodles#SCII#Helix#ZEX#The Captain#Hhhhhh <3#I am once again ''Who am I without you'' - ZEX relies on Zelnick to affirm who he himself is! His Captain is a huge comfort!#It's the codependency for me <3#The way Zelnick comforts him is so sweet ;; He can be quite attentive! When he chooses to be hehe#He's hesitant and concerned but overcomes it to give ZEX what he needs in the moment ahh he's deserving of being a leader ♥#Like covering his eye for him - and repeating back his greeting! ;;;; How many times has ZEX introduced himself that now it's repeated back#How many times has he said those exact words so confidently that Zelnick can repeat it back to him#So confident in his identity until it's all brought into question - too many pieces that align Just So to know one way or anything!#How would his human love know so many details - but such specific details are concerning as well! What's real and what's not!#What's experienced and what's mentally real - or false! There's so many tricky mental traps set agh it's so good <3#It's so interesting how their character flaws interact with their self-assuredness hehe <3 Zelnick is brash and bold!#ZEX is careful and prideful - so which takes a harder hit in matters of the mind? ZEX is at a disadvantage in Max's body of course#Hghh there's so much about this scene that's so good tho ah#ZEX's worries of his own level of self-delusion bleeding out into accidentally telling lies - he's quite honest! Mostly ♪#But here it's all just deep concern - not of Trying to manipulate but being so far gone that he can't Help but do so! Being out of control!#Of course that would be very scary for him :( And of lying to himself? The kind of thing that's wholly repulsive to him </3#Ughhh this scene breaks my heart because they really love each other and ZEX wants him and needs him but I know what will happen ;;#At least they're able to give each other a bit of comfort in the moment - whether it's true or not (it is true haha) the contrast helps#Even in Max's body and even unsure of himself getting to hold his human - this human - feels real and right <3#He's still worried afterwards of course - takes something convincing to pull him out of it! - and Zelnick continues to comfort him <3#I love palm kisses as well ugh they're so sweet ;; <3 What a lovely way to show his solidarity! Hehe ♥
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raymondshields · 23 days
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Man, knowing that I'm less than two weeks from my last final is really shaking me because I have so many things I said I'd do after I graduate and they're very close now!!!
One of them is going to be leaving all the discord servers I don't talk in and also pruning following / friends lists like hell and back. This will allow me to finally come off invisible on discord, and it'll be nice to have discord statuses available to me again ;~;
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spiderfaang · 29 days
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I still think it was a massive mistake to not have windclan take in frostpaw during the book called Wind. Like you had the buildup for it to happen. Why didn't you just put frostpaw in windclan.
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herssian · 1 year
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Hello! I've been getting more and more interested in supporting artists closely. Do you have any suggestions or tips on what would help you or artists as a whole? Thank you!
monetarily by commissioning, buying prints and merch, tipping
practically by sharing art on your social media of choice and close circles (it'll directly help with the first bullet point)
emotionally by sending a big tub of ice cream (doubles as both a snack and a bucket to shed tears at the state of the art industry)
ethically by commenting under an AI generated image "lol hands"
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dummerjan · 3 months
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i am an annoying mix of giddy and exhausted that makes me terribly chatty but also loopy i could talk someone's ear off until i nod off mid-sentence like a little kid insisting they aren't tired
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akkivee · 2 months
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despite not quite sharing the same pink-gold-dark palette that otome and ichijiku’s speakers have, i think it’s kiiiiinda crazy kuukou and jyushi’s speakers match theirs in style better than nemu’s lol
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sendmyresignation · 3 months
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really love alternating between girls to the front and listening to washed up emo episodes. to me it so clearly demonstrates a lot of the friction btw the nebulous diy posthardcore/pre-midwest emo conglomerate and riot grrl is often a matter of like. basic difference in musical ideology and subculture values lmao. like. this guy from art monk was talking about how some of his friends bands have been forgotten because a lot of the scene was v. humble and believed in letting the music speak for itself which imo fits with a lot of women in these bands who talk about wanting to be seen as "serious artists" not bc women arent "serious" but rather its emblematic of the type of band/music relationality they want to embody. like. the women in these scenes, to varying degrees, certainly interacted and invested in the same values as their peers- its weird to imagine just bc they are women that (1) they all should think the same and (2) they all felt inherently isolated from their communities??
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My husband can’t play fps games without getting sick.
I prefer third person, but he can literally only play third person nowadays (it wasn’t bad when he was younger)
So I’m not just being petty about Indiana Jones, Avowed, and Outer Worlds.
It’s literally not accessible to some people.
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