#i feel so conflicted right now

[nixonsshades]

….

[paintedcrows]

Some Fords! (and Martin K Blackwood is also there)

[rawliverandgoronspice]

behold: my least favorite string of words in the entirety of Tears of the Kingdom.

[captainjonnitkessler]

I think being on the internet has given a lot of leftists a drastically skewed view of how popular our beliefs are.

Most politicians support Israel because most Americans support Israel - only 8% of the population thinks the US should publicly criticize Israel.

Bernie didn't lose the primaries because the Democrats were just too scared of having a real progressive in office so they rigged the election, he lost because socialists are the least-electable people in America and because fewer people voted for him. That's how elections work. ( In b4 'but everyone else dropped out in a coordinated effort to concentrate votes behind biden!' - yeah, if your candidate can only win when the vote is split eight ways that's not a viable candidate. And I voted for Bernie!)

As of 2021 only about 15% of Americans support defunding the police, 47% would like to see increased police funding, and the number of people who think violent crime is a "very big" problem jumped 20 percentage points up to 61% in one year.

And it's just really frustrating to see internet leftists being super condescending as though everybody should already know everything and be on board with this stuff or else they're a Bad Person, driving people away from leftist ideology or making people too afraid to ask questions lest they be branded as a Centrist or worse, a Liberal, or refusing to engage in politics until they're being specifically catered to even though that would be political suicide (and would therefore not accomplish anything anyway.)

And like. It's fine to think that people who support Israel or more police funding are bad people, frankly I think a lot of them are. But I think even more are just misinformed or not really informed about alternatives at all. And not everyone is in the headspace to do education or outreach, but when you're only 10% of the population I think you need to make a choice about whether you want to feel good about being right on the internet or whether you want to be effective. It's frustrating to have to walk someone step-by-step through why genocide is bad, but it's a lot more likely to change minds than shouting at someone that they're obviously just a genocide-loving racist is.

[flecks-of-stardust]

wholeheartedly and with as much gentleness as possible, i truly think there needs to be more discussion about downpour in the community as it is now. for a variety of reasons.

[spotaus]

Thinking about Orchid and her connection to my take on Gender (because this was meant to be about her and the Crew but it just devolved into a character analysis kinda??? More trauma-dumping maybe???) This is very much an oc/personal rant so feel free to ignore it 🫡

So, Orchid started off as a character I didn't really think much of (hear me out this is going to be relevant) because I wanted to add a 'girl' character but didn't know what to *do* with her, y'know? She was always going to be the strongest one there, she had the odds stacked in her favor with her parents. She was always going to be the gloomy side-character to match Reset's energy. But I think she's gone through every stage of Generic Woman I could possibly find.

At first she was angry and abrasive (think Fell!Sans) where every other word was a curse and she was likely to throw the first punch then laugh as she kicks her enemy while they're down. This was when Reset was a cartoonishly self-centered villain whose goal was simply to prove others wrong. Then Orchid became a sort of sisterly figure. This was short-lived, but she was the one comforting people who Reset would torment, but would ultimately follow his orders, because at this point he was actually a danger and sadistic. And then there was the phase where the story mellowed out and she became the token Goth Girl who, yes she was strong, but was heavy on the 'whatever' energy. Then there was her Era of deep self-loathing and anxiety about her worth that held her back and made her a much more timid and meek character who would only lash out on occasion.

Now, Orchid is the best of those iterations I've written yet. She's calm, level-headed, and a natural leader. Her father raised those traits into her. But she's very reactive, and can be silly, and when she's comfortable it's likely that air of importance transforms into something more comfortable and familiar. She laughs loudly and grins wide, she likes loud video-games but loves to read in the quiet. She's extremely disciplined, and normally no one can get through her tough exterior besides her best friend, Reset. She does what she does for her own enjoyment, sure, but she's thought of every angle and makes her choice to help Reset and control the others with her whole chest. She still worries she won't live up to her invisible expectations, and that and her loyalty are her two driving forces.

I know that Orchid is important to me because she's the longest-running female oc I've had. I have a rough relationship with womanhood/girlhood and I know looking back that Orchid recieved every ounce of my distaste for being a woman that I could shovel into her. That never made her less of a character, she was actually always one of my favorites, and rarely was she a 'punching bag oc'. I just... projected onto her a lot. And she's a good sign of how I've learned who I am. I've decided that my own femininity is something I could live without. I'd rather not associate myself with it, and I'd like to leave it in my past, focusing on a future where I'm not tied down with any gender roles or expectations. That won't happen, but I've come to terms with it myself. Orchid though? I figured out through her that I don't have to hate women characters. My own distaste for my circumstances doesn't mean I have to push it onto my characters (on God I've never expressed anything rude to actual people, that'd be rude as hell and uncalled for, but I have a bad habit of disliking fictional women in media). So, Orchid is a well-roubded character finally. She has motivations abd goals and a *lot* more depth than I ever expected her to. She's happy with being a woman, she's content. She's not treated differently for it in unfair ways by those she cares about, so she doesn't mind it. She likes to wear pretty outfits and lets Reset add bows to her ribbons. She doesn't let being a woman hold her back in the slightest.

So, yeah. Orchid is one of my babies. If I ever leave this Fandom behind for good, she's one that's coming with (Ichor, Orchid, and Pretender all have human designs I can use elsewhere lol-) but in the meantime I'll just rotate her around in my brain for a while longer.

If I'm right, she's been with me for nearly 5-6 years and I went through a *lot* with her as an outlet. So, she's kinda just like an old stuffed animal. A lil ripped, matted fur, maybe a stain or two, but there's a story there and that makes it important beyond belief.

[blobbei-art]

More Des! Some angst and my incredibly self indulgent headcanon that Emmy and Descole end up getting along really well because of their connection to Bronev, Targent and also having betrayed Layton. They’re such an untapped dynamic and I love them a lot together

[longagoitwastuesday]

I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn

[frogoru]

i've had to indulge in christian scripture a lot for the past few months because personal life stuff and i need everyone to know that there's a book in the bible where king solomon goes on and on about how horny he is for his wife and it's SO SENSUAL and i didn't expect it at all (it's really beautifully written if anything but also sex funny. i put verses down below that invoked said feelings because its so wow)

"Your two breasts are like two fawns,     twins of a gazelle,     that graze among the lilies."

- 4:5

"...How much better is your love than wine,     and the fragrance of your oils than any spice! Your lips drip nectar, my bride;     honey and milk are under your tongue;"

- 4:10-11

"How beautiful are your feet in sandals,     O noble daughter! Your rounded thighs are like jewels,     the work of a master hand. Your navel is a rounded bowl     that never lacks mixed wine. Your belly is a heap of wheat,     encircled with lilies.  Your two breasts are like two fawns,     twins of a gazelle.  Your neck is like an ivory tower. Your eyes are pools in Heshbon,     by the gate of Bath-rabbim. Your nose is like a tower of Lebanon,     which looks toward Damascus. Your head crowns you like Carmel,     and your flowing locks are like purple;     a king is held captive in the tresses."

- 7:1-5

"Your stature is like a palm tree,     and your breasts are like its clusters.  I say I will climb the palm tree     and lay hold of its fruit. Oh may your breasts be like clusters of the vine,     and the scent of your breath like apples, and your mouth like the best wine.

She

It goes down smoothly for my beloved,     gliding over lips and teeth.

 I am my beloved's,     and his desire is for me."

- 7:7-10

In verse 8 of chapter 5 his wife says "I am sick with love." and that makes me feel really AHHHHHH oh my god?? it's so intimate

[doctorbrown]

MCFLY JULY ‘24 ⸺ 「 13 / 31 * CAMPFIRE 」

September 6, 1885

Purple really was a beautiful colour.

Turning the brooch over in his hands, he’s struck by the simple elegance of the vibrant flowers, their pop of life and colour against the gloomy, dust filled California night. Emmett had never given it much consideration before—purple was a fine colour; one he had no real opinion of—at least not until Clara gave him a new appreciation for it.

Even the fire looks dull by comparison, unable to match the splendour of the flowers in his hand no matter how it dances in the darkness.

Clara. He runs his thumb over her name embossed in the metal, thankful that Marty was asleep and entirely oblivious to his emotional turmoil. Emmett frowns, looping his earlier discussion with Marty in his head, unable to quiet either side of this heated debate.

His head screams be scientific about this. His conscience, borrowing his young friend’s voice in order to tip the scales back in the favour of logic and reasoning, throws the weight of the universe at him—you are singularly responsible for the fate of the timeline now. You have chosen to circumvent the boundaries set for mortals and tread where no man has before, stomping across realms that fall solely within the purview of the Gods, and now you must suffer the consequences for your actions.

Such dangerous knowledge could only come with personal sacrifice. Perhaps that was why it took three decades’ worth of dogged resolution and pertinacious research in order to accomplish it—some things were not meant to be touched by man.

He cannot stay in 1885 any more than Marty can, not without serious repercussions to the timeline. Their actions have already left indelible scars on history as they know it; they’ve introduced an entirely new, unknown variable to the timeline by inadvertently preventing Clara’s death, and while Marty had managed to somewhat convince him that renaming an entire ravine wasn’t the most universe-shattering thing that could have happened, they’d never done something like this.

This would be an entirely new future shaped by countless unforeseen aberrations from their original timeline.

His heart, however, steals his voice, advocating for selfishness in spite of the timeline. Marty had already done just that, inadvertently altered the timeline, and nothing unravelled because of it. He and Marty still became friends, he finished the Time Machine precisely on-time, prevented his own death…

He knew the future—that very knowledge alone should allow him to avoid causing any major changes to the timeline. This time, he could prevent his death, he could send Marty home, he could live out his final years with the woman who fit perfectly into that hole in his heart and made him whole.

Just thinking about her makes Emmett’s heart swell. Just like these flowers, she is beautiful—a vision, and Emmett wonders, privately, when his heart pulls him away from all reason and sense, how such a woman could’ve been bestowed with such a tragic fate—able to make him feel as awkward as a schoolboy in front of the object of his affection with little more than a smile.

Emmett sighs, staring into the fire. No, no he can’t do that—to allow himself this comfort while denying and cautioning Marty against this very thing would be grossly hypocritical of him, not to mention highly irresponsible.

There will never be another woman like her in all of time and Emmett isn’t lost to the heart-wrenchingly cruel irony that is that the one woman that makes him almost willing to believe in the foolish, unscientifically romantic notion of soulmates just so happened to be a woman who no more belonged in today than he did.

Marty’s voice inevitably wins out and Emmett turns the flowers over in his hand one last time, searching for some yet undiscovered third option that will satisfy everybody. He’s right, as much as it rips his still-beating heart from his chest to admit. There’s only one acceptable course of action available to them now and though it is a small, almost negligible comfort, at least Clara will live out a full life.

And the moment they get back, he will destroy the blasted Time Machine and everything related to it to avoid any temptation of returning to the past.

It’s for the best.

If only he believed that.

Emmett stands, delicately slipping Clara’s brooch into his pocket while his heart drops like a stone into his stomach.

The campfire pops three times as he saddles up Archimedes, shooting embers into the air, and were he a superstitious man, he may have considered that an ill omen.

[rexcaliburechoes]

does anyone else find it fucked up that moon's friends protect themselves from her with the skyfire at the end of moon rising?

[dazais-guardian-angel]

I'm finding it difficult to reconcile the fact that what I've always wanted and envisioned for Nikolai and his relationship with Fyodor based on fanworks and the very very little canon information we've had to go off of so far, will very likely be very different from what we actually get.

While I understand the appeal of Fyodor taking over Nikolai's body via his blood ability, and the inherent, romantic, ironic tragedy of that — for Nikolai, the person who yearned for freedom, to meet an end by having his soul eternally trapped in the body of the person he loved the most, while Fyodor lives on in his body, never truly knowing how much he was adored by him — I would just hate the idea of that happening now? It just feels far, far too soon for Nikolai to be dead, for his character to no longer have a role or a purpose; his mind and behavior is so utterly fascinating in all its bizarre contradictions, there's so much more to explore and discover with him, he's one of BSD's most complex characters, or at least he's set up to be, and I really hope Asagiri wouldn't throw him away this soon without doing anything more with him.

I never really thought that Nikolai would be the one to end Fyodor for good, way down the line (that can only ever be Dazai's job, to me, since he's his foil), but I always imagined he'd at least have some kind of role in attempting to kill him, since that's his ultimate wish. I imagined that it would be ugly, frenzied, unhinged, desperate, Nikolai finally being forced to acknowledge the horrible truth that's always been buried within his subconscious but he's never wanted to accept: that going against all human reason and killing someone he cares so deeply for will not, in fact, simply make those feelings go away, and will instead make them unable to ignore in his despair. The realization that he'll always be chained to human emotions, to love, no matter how much he thinks he can be free of them. And then, the ensuing breakdown from that. Yes, it's extremely fanficky lmao, but that kind of drama makes sense to me for him and them. It's interesting.

There was also the angst angle of Fyodor being immortal, and Nikolai's agenda perhaps stemming from wanting to save him from that, and being able to finally free him from it in the same way he himself wants to be freed. Killing being the ultimate expression of love, not too dissimilar to Mushitarou killing Yokomizo, both putting on an act of being hateful/vengeful/hostile towards the other in order to cope with the fact that deep down they can't bear the thought of them being gone.

But then we got Fyodor's "death" here, and Nikolai's reaction to it was so unbelievably underwhelming and calm that it made me question everything I thought I knew about Asagiri's writing skills him, and what the story is going for with him. And combined with this revelation now that Fyodor is (unsurprisingly!) immortal, but specifically in the way that he can be killed but supposedly resurrects endlessly (which I really like in of itself, don't get me wrong)... it makes me question what exactly Nikolai knows, or will know, and it somewhat destroys the potential angst we could get with them in the end, or at least drastically changes it.

If Nikolai already knows Fyodor can't be killed, that means we'll never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then has to face the fact that he did the deed and it didn't make him feel freed, and he instantly regrets it. It also means we'd never get a moment where he tries to kill him and then discovers he can't truly die, and the ensuing insanity that would occur from that. It also makes me even question the legitimacy of his reaction to Fyodor's "death" here... was it so damn apathetic and lukewarm because he already knows it wasn't permanent? I mean, I'd like an explanation for it feeling so ooc, it would make me feel better about that, but I can't deny that it would be disappointing to have yet another part of this arc that was just an act and not genuine feelings....

Now, that isn't to say that it's impossible to do anything interesting with Nikolai already knowing the truth. He could be wishing to try to attain free will through the illogical pursuit of an impossible task: in this case, killing Fyodor. There's a beautiful, tragic paradox in him wishing to attempt something to gain his freedom that he and we know is impossible, especially if subconsciously he takes solace in the fact that he'd be able to kill Fyodor without actually losing him for good. If Nikolai doesn't already know, assuming he's not dead he's likely going to find out the truth soon when he next sees Fyodor alive and kicking — I can't imagine a way he wouldn't find out. In that case, we wouldn't get the aforementioned scenario where he tries to kill him and discovers it's futile, which is the most juicy to me I won't lie, but I am still fascinated by the idea of how Nikolai will respond just seeing him suddenly alive again and having to process this after having just mourned him. It's interesting to imagine how he might respond to and treat Fyodor after at last knowing how it truly felt to lose him, and realizing how much he didn't want that, and then suddenly having him back. It might cause him to finally understand that his desire for freedom is unobtainable, and cause him to spiral, and fundamentally change their relationship going forward. An eventual tragic end for him such as Fyodor taking over his body would not feel out of place to me in that case, perhaps, but still not until we've had more time to see Nikolai reflect and see his possible change in perspectives.

I don't know, I'm just rambling at this point lmao. I know very well that so much of my expectations and desires for Nikolai and Fyolai are built up from fan content over the years just because there's been nothing else to work with, and that it's unfair to judge what Asagiri decides to do with him/them based on preconceived notions. Whatever he does could still be interesting in the end, even if it's not what I initially wanted or expected, and being open to being surprised is always a good thing. At the end of the day we still know barely anything about Nikolai, so it's not completely fair for me to judge something as ooc for a character we still know so little about.

But... it's because we know so little about him and have gotten so little of him, that at the very least, I'm gonna be really upset if he does die here from being possessed by Fyodor like people are worrying about. I really don't think he will, because I'm pretty confident the helicopter pilot is the one Fyodor swapped with/resurrected in the body of as per soup's theory, and again I'm not saying it wouldn't be fitting eventually... but I really don't want it to happen now. :/ I just think Nikolai still has so much potential as a character and so much more we need to see of him before his likely inevitable and tragic demise (however it happens), so whatever Asagiri decides to do with him I just really, really hope we don't lose him so prematurely; it would honestly be such a tremendous waste imo.

[gerbits]

hi hello i haven't logged into this account in what feels like a decade

[dramarants]

i only want love triangles if it's whatever fucked up polygon junmo kicheol and euijeong have going on

[quillandrapier]

I kinda hate how the finale of ghosts killed my enthusiasm for anything ghosts since it....urgh

[monkee-mobile]

Don’t you know that Tork is a wifebeater?

tags.