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#i feel sooo lonely
ghostlypawn · 2 years
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just watched broken hearts gallery..... why was it actually the best modern romcom i have ever seen......
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guardian-angle22 · 7 months
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TK/Carlos + Looks
↳ 3.02 - 3.04
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oatbugs · 3 months
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pls i need to provide updates
#basically yesterday night was chaharshanbe suri . which is a solar new yr tradition where we let go of the past suffering in our year#and like...start the new yr w fresh vigour . anyway so my friend was at the event and we were abt to leap over the fire#and she was like bro im im glad u blocked her (situationship) etc etc . and then. my phone started vibrating. and i look at it. and my f#friend looks at it. and its her. and were both like what the fuck?? i blocked her things r Over and anyway so i pick up the phone and shesl#acting like nothing happened (bc nothing DID happen for her) and she was like ohh ur doing chaharshanbe suri im not doing anything etc what#are ur new yr plans so i jusr .IDK WHY I DID THIS . but ig i didnt wanna come off as like lonely i said probably hanging out w family and#friends maybe reading poetry together . et cetera and she was like wait that sounds so fun why didnt u invite me!#LIKE WDYM YOUVE BEEN CONSISTENTLY MAKING IT CLEAR U DONT WANT TO BE IN MY PRESENCE . and i told her that after#everything i thought she didnt want to see me again and she was like you always think that 😐 . like. ?? ok anyway so she expects me to#invite her . and like. there is an above 0% but sub-5% chance she will actually show up . but the panic that gripped me#i started making calls to my friends asking them if they can come on the 23rd bc there must be an event and also i asked my mother#and she said actually yeah i am doing a thing on the 23rd :D it involves over 16 ppl (we live in a v small flat) of which like...7 are kids#so you wont have space to be in ur own room let alone invite others. which tbh like ...being around a bunch of loud kids doesnt seem fun fo#any of my friends or me etc so i thought maybe i should arrange things so that we all go out together and if she shows up she shows up 🤷‍♀️#but . im so. WHY DID I SAY THAT . i had to panic-call my research partner and ask him to get from oxf to where i live on the 23rd#and when he heard the explanation he like. the light in his voice disappeared 💀 but he potentially agreed so idk#THE ISSUE IS. 23rd im supposed to also have . a date#w this girl that i had a huge crush on when i was 15-16 (posted abt this b4 but id get shitty black coffee in the mornings just to spend a#few more minuted w her each day and she was the cleverest girl in school and she cared abt nothing but her academics but now shes very gay#scraggly homosexual etc etc shes cute) and YEAH IDK#like id have to go there on the date come back fast meet ppl POTENTIALLY (again under 5%) meet situationship girl#like is that even doable#but the thing is it would be so so so funny bc all of my friends dislike her sooo much#.........what if i invited the girl im supposed to have a date w over to hang out w us#god that would be so hilarious and chaotic . i wont do it tho im a mature person x#but it would be soooo funny#I HAVE AN ASSIGNMENT DUE TMRW 12:30PM IT IS 10:49PM RN I HAVENT STARTED IT bc i was rotting sadly in bed#popped a ritalin pill tho so here we go x#i have found myself in a state of such sheer agony and rage and sorrow and grief over this girl that atp i feel like#its just so entertaining . like i feel vaguely over it? ik nothing will come of it so its like just . have fun . vibe
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sibelin · 4 months
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The weirdest thing is that everyone is so lonely but also everyone is so mean to strangers.
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inkedmyths · 2 months
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Why is there fucking. Crowrean perfume. Hello. Falcom who is making these decisions
Also I actually need to know what the fuck these actually smell like because WHAT are those compositions
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evansbby · 6 months
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packedice · 16 days
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i cant stop crying for the past hour today is such a shitty day for romeo and esme you guys
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kesharik · 1 month
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The Meeting on the Turret Stairs
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go-to-the-mirror · 1 month
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playing a video game makes me feel productive without actually being productive. unfortunately i have finished OMORI (true route), Deltarune (pacifist/neutral), and Deltatraveler (pacifist), so like. my gay ass is no longer even pretending to be productive
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goddessofwisdom18 · 2 months
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your favorite character being largely disliked by both the stans and the antis is actually so devastating. where am i supposed to go
there are three main opinions about mor in this fandom:
1. she’s fine bc she’s feyre’s bestie but you don’t really care about her personally (probably bc she’s queer because the stan girlies used to LOVE mor when moriel was semi-canon. i remember. i was there)
2. she’s fine but annoying bc she ~lead azriel on~ (main opinion on the acotar subreddit). never mind that if this was true, it would be as a result of a retcon, because again, pre acowar, moriel was going to be canon. sarah made mor sapphic because we were asking for more lgbt characters. (again. i was there.) and besides, i frankly don't think it is true, because azriel is the fucking spymaster with a million chances of knowledge at his fingertips and mor spent 80% of her time at a gay bar so idk how he couldn't have fucking known?
3. or she’s the fucking worst because she was. idk. mean to nesta. you know who else was mean??? and people love that about her because it's a result of trauma, it makes her flawed and relatable? literally nesta T_T this is not anti nesta i just don’t get it.
4. she's the fucking worst because she… supposedly lied about eris? ?? i'm not even going to begin to unpack this. why y'all IMMEDIATELY take the man's side and think what he's saying is bible… i don't fucking know. learn to decenter men in your life my friend. sometimes women ARE telling the truth even if they're basic or pick mes or whatever.
mor’s traumatized as hell and definitely has as much to back up her occasional cattiness as nesta had to back up her literal life long bullying. but few people will give her a feminist reading. few people will analyze how sarah wrote her story or what that means. few people will even give her credit as a real villain. she’s just an annoying pick-me bitch and that’s the end of it.
think about the lack of grace rhysand gives nesta. think about what that might mean for mor, to whom rhys (and his friends) was a sort of savior, because her life in the hewn city was that bad that somehow dealing with rhysand is better. that was who she grew up with; that was what she was taught to see as good because at least it wasn’t keir.
not to mention that her life is shaped around her survival via her desirability to males. ESPECIALLY as a sapphic woman can you imagine what that would do to her psyche?
but no. no fan posts about her. no headcanons. nothing nada. just me and the mor week posts and the occasional obligatory stan reference bc she's part of the main cast.
i understand being annoyed bc of the double standard in canon between her and nesta's heavy drinking, but even then i see posts all the time about "i would love rhys if it weren't for the narrative's worship of him!" and none for mor because she's just a ghost. she's nothing to anybody. despite being A MAIN CHARACTER!
not to mention but like. generally positioning yourself perpetually in opposition to the paradigm rather than just having values whether they're popular or not is not a great way to go about things. i completely understand liking eris regardless of what he's done - i am a tamlin stan despite the fact that he was very well abusive in acomaf - but the fact that there are antis out there who are so convinced mor is lying, or who want sarah to write that storyline, is so digusting to me. women in groups you don't like, political sides you don't like, women you think are annoying - they still deserved to be believed. don't give into respectability politics. come on now.
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tirfpikachu · 2 months
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broooo not my ex making posts abt how hard it is to come to terms with being conventionally attractive while having low self-esteem issues and how wild it is to get compliments randomly on their appearance when they go out and how they're worried that their new transmasc boytoy is only into them bc they're hot -_- i'm tired... meanwhile i'm just seen as a gremlin now that i'm not hyperfem... they truly have the biggest issues in the world lol
also they were like "omg turns out i'm not ace i just needed a bf lol" and i'm like yeah. i know. you've been lusting after male characters for years. you were horny as fuck just not for me bc i didn't transition. you only made moves on me when you were bored, lonely or drunk. i always asked if that was the case and you were like no baby it's just your insecurities i don't need you to transition uwu. for 5 years. my trust issues are thru the roof now yayyyyy /dies
#lay text#i'm being mean and petty ugh#my heart kinda hurts but talking w my counsellor abt it helped#it rly helps to have a neutral third party to vent to#also i still think my ex is a good person i don't actually hate them i love them as a friend. but i do hate what they did to me#i hate that they went along w us dating bc they're too much of a doormat. i hate that they thought abt breaking up w me for years#but never told me bc they were worried i wouldn't survive without them financially or emotionally#feels so fucking infantilizing#now i'm so much better off without them despite being broke#that was my first and only real relationship my first time my first everything. i'm so embarrassed wtf i was RIGHT i was right all along#i was right it wasn't just insecurities they straight up never wanted me they wanted future transitioned male-passing me#it was all lies!!! from the get-go!!! meanwhile i did so much romantic bullshit and i was wearing rose colored glasses!!!!#and i was a big dyke. being with a woman who identified as a woman would've made me 2000x happier anyway. we could've just stayed roommates#i'm so bitter guys. i feel so jaded but i'm trying not to be :/#and now they have so much luck in their love life#and i'm just a lonely gremlin dyke who only attracts polyam/casual girls who only want me on the side#where tf is my love story :'( i've been trying SOOO FUCKING HARD to gain my ex's affection for 5 freaking years i was the most loveydovey g#i deserve a love story i think i've really earned it by now!!!!!#so much love to give#now they have it so easy wtf. feels unfair ngl. i'm happy for them obviously they deserve happiness too. but i am still bitter >:/#trying to process these feels instead of repressing them for once. i have a tendency to bottle up angst bc i think i'm bad for being mad#but nope those r healthy emotions!!! i can work thru this#it just sucks#if you read all of this bs i give you a cookie 🍪 <3
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axiolotl · 5 months
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making cookies. added dark choco chips. also added toasted pecans too fast, still hot. dough got too melty. in the freezer now . tummy hurts from dough (tasty)
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urlocalqueer · 11 months
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also ohshc's emphasis on family and the club being a family. even if it's often used as a joke, in ep 25 you can see that lady eclaire uses this against tamaki. you can see it in how they take care of each other even if it's not always done in the right way. and tbh it's one of the reasons i attached onto ohshc so much. they're all friends, they're all a family, and haruhi is so quickly accepted into that with almost no question from anyone. they're all protective over each other, AND IT'S FUCKING ARGHHHHHHHH. even Kyoya who has stated that he's only in this for his own personal gain, obviously cares for literally all of them, especially tamaki and haruhi. like yeah! were they all in love with her? they were! but there is rarely conflict between them over her (with the exception of tamaki and the hiitatchin twins (although 98% of the time it's played as a joke)) i just feel. so so unwell over this show.
AND they treat the audience like family, which is also used as a joke (4th wall breaks, etc etc) but it's obvious that was the intention because in the finale, literally at the fucking end, the leave with telling us that we can visit whenever we want and that they'll be waiting. and like WHATEVERM IM NORMAL
ALSO AT THE END all the guys dance with her (in what i think is in the order of the smallest - largest crush on her, but idk) and it's like i'm losing my mind. they all loved and accepted her. and like. WHATEVER.
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bucephaly · 5 months
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Google search how do make friend after college
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scattered-winter · 9 months
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wait hang on who are the hot gay boys in that gif set you reblogged
HGLHSIERGLSJDGALKSHGLK i was gonna put the [do you have any idea how little that narrows it down] meme but im pretty sure u mean this one <3 and in any case i will always be down to ramble about the Sillies(tm)
ok so those guys in particular are from the fox procedural called 9-1-1 Lone Star, which is a spinoff of the original 9-1-1 (which just got moved to abc after some Drama that went down so my tag for it is 911 (not fox) lmaoo). but both shows are about first responders (firefighters, paramedics, dispatchers, police) with a particular focus on firefighters. 9-1-1 (the og) is set in LA, and primarily focuses on the 118 firehouse and the firefighters/paramedics there with some other characters in the main cast who work as dispatchers/police officers (the police storylines are more often than not FULL of copaganda which sucks but the main focus is on the firefighters so i'm able to enjoy the rest of the show). 9-1-1 Lone Star is pretty much the same except it's set in austin texas, and is about the 126 firehouse. there are onscreen queer characters in both (in the og there's a married lesbian couple raising a kid, and in lone star there's the aforementioned hot gay boys [one of whom is unfortunately a cop but i swear to GOD i will get him out of there. one day.] and in lone star there's also a trans man and wlw woman in the main cast.) and my favorite thing about these shows is the found family !!! like these are the shows that have endeared firefighter aus to me because they live together and eat meals together and just. the familial/platonic love is So Powerful and it legiterally makes me cry to watch. like there's romance ofc but genuinely it's one of my favorite found family medias to ever exist. its So.
of the two the og is my favorite for a LOT of reasons, but they're both pretty enjoyable !! lone star definitely has more of a comedic tone than og (theyre BOTH funny but lone star doesn't have as many somber intense moments as og does, and they're much more spread out so there's a lot more room for goofy shenanigans. but og still definitely has plenty of those) and the team dynamics in them both are just...ughhh <3333
HOWEVER. lone star has ..... Him...(derogatory)...he's the fire captain and (despite lone star SUPPOSEDLY being an ensemble show with no Main Character) is in fact. the Main Character. and he's the blandest most obnoxious crustiest white man to ever LIVE. he gets most of the storylines and he's constantly propped up by the writing as The Coolest Guy Ever when he's just . not . i hate him so much it's unreal it's soo so unreal (<- biting the bars of my cage) BUT the rest of the team ??? absolutely love them. like i DO love lone star a lot its a great show with great characters and dynamics but it just has. the most annoying guy to ever live front and center when ITS SUPPOSED TO BE AN ENSEMBLE SHOW FEATURING EVERYONE EQUALLY. grr. anyway. og does a much better job of being an ensemble show, and i could not choose a favorite character of the main cast if you held me at gunpoint. angela bassett is there. i am gay. jennifer love hewitt is there. i am very gay. etcetera.
AND SINCE YOU ASKED SPECIFICALLY ABOUT THE LONE STAR GAYS ILL TELL YOU A BIT ABOUT THEM
so one of them is tk strand (firefighter/paramedic, also the son of the Main Character (derogatory). i have many many many thoughts about that. i would probably get gunned down in this fandom if i ever said them aloud.) and the other one is carlos reyes (a private detective TO MEEEEEEEEEEEE but unfortunately fox is full of cowards who refuse to see the truth. they wanna have a gay cop in their show sooo bad </3) and they're kind of the main romance of the show (there Are others ofc but theyre like. The Focus. which is fine ig but i do wish there was more focus on other relationships because in general lone star isnt as good as the ensemble thing as og. but i already complained about that so i digress.)
now they're a fun pair because one of them has been shot, frozen almost to death, and otherwise put into a coma on MULTIPLE occasions. and it's not the guy whose entire job is to get shot at. (the whump in both of these shows.....................absolutely effervescent. im thriving here.) and they have a very fascinating relationship because their personalities fit together really well but they have different ways of coping with shit that kind of tear each other apart a little bit. which is of course terrible for them but incredible for me. and the writing is at times ridiculous. soap opera-esque, even. they're ridiculous. i adore them. they cannot catch a god damn break and i love that for them even more. <3
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ethory · 1 year
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the movie being so upfront in its use of vampirism as an allegory for sex/loss of virginity and thereby making sarah’s arc one of sexual trauma is so. so. sooooo
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