#i fried the image enough that this should be a problem but like.

[ihavesomejays]

GAMBA MAN!

AGAIN PLEASE COMMENT OR MESSAGE ME WITH ANY OTHER PENACONY CHARACTERS YOU WOULD WANT TO HAVE TSHIRT DESIGNS OF!

obligatory beg for yall to share this post because the individual cost of production goes down as you make em more in bulk = cheaper shirts for everyone!!

now that we got the GAMBA MAN shirt down for the fruity homies, comment or tag which character should come next!

[piratefishmama]

Just ONE chance | Part 2

“Are you gonna message him?” It was later in the evening, Rosie was in the living room watching some gameshow while Stevie sat at the kitchen island, having just finished cleaning up after dinner, Robin facing her through her phone, stuffing her face with what looked like French fries.

“Dusty thinks I should but… should I? It doesn’t feel too… I dunno, desperate? Cause I’m not desperate, I could not care less about dating rockstars, in fact before all this the idea of dating a rockstar would have never crossed my m—“

“Stevie” Robin cut her off “if anyone seems desperate right now, it’s him. It ain’t you, nobody in their right mind could think it was you. You were just doing your own damn thing and he cringe-failed so hard he broke the internet. Listen… you don’t have to do shit, EVEN IF Dustin is telling you to. Dustin doesn’t know everything.” Stevie bit her bottom lip in pensive thought, Robin on the other end of the video call stuffed another French fry into her mouth before asking, “do you want to though? That’s the important thing, do you want to?”

“I don’t KNOW, that’s the problem. It’s nice… I guess… to be wanted, but it’s not just about me anymore.” It was about Rosie. Stevie’s life wouldn’t be the only life impacted if she took that chance. Maybe if she were younger, maybe if she didn’t have Rosie things would be different, maybe she’d have been wild and jumped at it, but she had Rosie, and Rosie mattered way more to her than anything a stranger on the internet could give her.

“It’s a little bit about you, Stevie, and it’s okay to let it be about you. You’ve spent literal years putting yourself on the back burner, even Mike got hitched before you, like who called that?” Nobody. Nobody called that, even though he and Will had been dancing around each other since kindergarten, nobody would have called that. “We both know Billy wouldn’t have wanted you to be on your own like this either.”

“What if he’s weird about Rosie?”

“Then he hits the road, simple. I heard he’s good with kids though.” Stevie offered a look, a simple unimpressed raised brow “Whaaatt, okay fine I looked him up when I saw it all blowing up, call it me doing my sisterly duty. He’s weird, but in a harmless opossum kind a way, y’know? Like he probably scampers or something.”

“What about like… drugs… alcohol… shit I don’t want around Rosie?”

“According to his Wiki page, the whole band an issue with addiction in the early days, toxic music label, it was a huge legal mess, they all went to rehab, cut their old label an they’ve all been clean and sober since. Knowing you, like I do… I really do think you’d like him, and Rosie would love him too, He’s very… I dunno…”

Vickie, Robin’s fiancée, chose that exact moment to shove her face into view of the camera to announce, “He’s like a mix between Billy and Dustin, a suuuper-hot, but a huge nerd, you’d like him, definitely.”

A weird mix of Billy and Dustin. What a wild mental image.

“So you’re both on Dustin’s side then. I should message him?”

“It’s not our place to tell you what to do” Robin shrugged, she couldn’t tell her what to do, but she could offer a helpful suggestion of “maybe ask Rosie, she’s the only reason you’re hesitating and she’s old enough now to at least have an opinion, right?” Stevie looked toward the living room, where the glow of the TV bounced off the walls, Rosie’s laughter echoing from the other room.

“She already knows somethings up, Stevie, kids talk in school” Vickie reminded them “and Eddie’s… pretty famous, Corroded Coffin aren’t exactly unknown, an you’re not exactly unknown online either, someone’s bound to have mentioned it to her by now.” If the kids hadn’t, Dustin probably would eventually just to get her on his side before Stevie could get her on hers.

“Fine. But if this all blows up in my face, i’m revoking both your lunch privileges, for life.”

“What?! N—” Stevie cut their unison attempt to argue off with a well-timed click of the end call button, put her phone face down on the island top so she could ignore the incessant buzzing of them attempting to dial back, and made her way to the living room, where someone just face planted into a lovely pool of mud on the TV. Good ol gameshow night.

“Rosie…?” No time like the present. “Can we talk?”

It wasn’t often that Stevie interrupted gameshow night, usually they’d be watching it together, but Stevie had had other things on her mind, other much more pressing things that people didn’t seem to want to let die.

She was prepared to let them die, let this be a weird story of her ‘youth’ that she’d remember some day in a nursing home, a story nobody would believe but she’d swear blind happened!

A rockstar thought she was hot enough to send the internet into a meltdown one time. It happened, she swore it!

It wouldn’t die though. Not until she either told everyone to drop it, or entertained it.

“Sure, but uhm… if this is about the Eddie Munson thing—” she turned away from the TV to look at her mom “Uncle Dusty warned me about it way in advance, got me just before school started this morning.” Probably saved her from being ambushed about it by the kids at school. “It’s cool! He’s really cool, I mean, he’s super weird, huge nerd but… he seems nice”

Meddling little shit. Stevie took a breath, accepted this information, decided to deal with it later, and just powered through. “And you don’t think it’s unrealistic for everyone to think this is real?”

“It’s definitely real, mom. Uncle Dusty found his private account on your followers list, he’s been following you for aaaaaages,”

“Most people call that stalking.” How did Dustin even find it among the mass of others? Had Eddie been that obvious? Or was Dustin just that good?

“In the old days maybe! It’s almost romantic nowadays. You should message him, before Uncle Dusty does, cause he will. We both know he will.” Dustin had been uncomfortably absent all day since bursting in without warning. Stevie hadn’t even thought of it as a red flag until Rosie mentioned it ought to be. “It’s time, mom. It’s okay.”

“You’re really okay with it? It’s not crazy?”

“Oh, it’s SUPER crazy, but it’s a cool crazy, my mom’s gonna date thee Eddie Munson cause he begged you to, it’s the best kind of nuts, I wonder if he’d teach me how to play guitar…”

Had Eddie Munson actually asked anyone before he opened those DM’s, anyone at all, because he didn’t really consult the band as to what he was going to DO on the band's accounts, they’d have probably told him not to do that.

And they’d have been correct!

Because everyone and their mother, and even some fathers, decided to shoot a shot they never had!

He didn’t just get one DM, no, he got… many. Many. People messaged asking for autographs, merch, people asked for tickets, some offered themselves if Stevie didn’t message, some offered to DRESS UP as Stevie for him, a few went with Eddie’s own plan simply messaging with a plea for just ONE chance for themselves.

For hours. Hours. He scrolled through those messages.

Sure, he could have gotten someone to do it for him, but he’d done everything else on the account by himself, so he’d tackle the DMs too. He’d delete them, one by one, everything that wasn’t relevant to his quest, making sure to view each one, even if they did surprise him in their creativity, because what if she had a private account like he did? What if she actually recognised her popularity and created a tiny incognito safe haven from it all like he did?

She didn’t though.

She didn’t have one.

She didn’t need one.

At least that was what he gathered at the end of the long list of DMs, she didn’t have a private, she just had her main one, and she hadn’t sent him anything from it.

He knew it was a long shot, he could have had all the fame and fortune in the world, it wouldn’t matter if she wasn’t interested in it all and she clearly didn’t seem to be if what Chrissy had said was true. She didn’t do sponsored posts; she wasn’t aiming for fame and fortune. She lived a comfortable life with her kid, and just happened to be popular on the internet.

She didn’t owe him anything, he didn’t deserve an answer, he—

Bzzt-bzzt

He snatched his phone right back up lightning fast, swiped down the notifications bar, and with wide eyes read the first line of the message he’d been sent,

“PLEASE HEAR ME OUT I’M STEVIE’S BROTHER, DUSTIN.”

Eddie wasn’t about to claim Stevie didn’t have a brother. He didn’t know if Stevie had a brother, just that Stevie had a sister because the sister, Robin, had turned up in a video once, bursting in on a live in the early days to accidentally announce to the world that ‘Vickie’ was now single.

It could be a trick, it could be a way in, it could be literally anything, what Eddie knew for sure though, was that it was the closest he’d gotten to potentially speaking to Stevie.

So, he did the only thing he could think of.

He replied, “prove it.”

The reply came through quickly, almost like this mysterious brother was waiting by the phone in hopes Eddie would be there to receive his message. It was a photo of a polaroid. Grainy as it was, it was clearly a younger, frankly stunning Stevie with a barely-there baby bump, reaching back to a guy who was leaning over her with a ridiculously stacked sandwich, she looked happy, she looked lovestruck, she glowed, and for a moment, jealousy struck him as if he were some childish teenager.

This was likely her child’s father, the one who was no longer in the picture for some unknown reason. She’d never disclosed why. He looked happy too though so… there were more questions than answers at that point.

Plus, the Polaroid had a scrawled “Stevie domesticated Satan” on the white part with a little devil face so, many questions, very few answers.

With the image, however, came the caption “I took this when she was pregnant with Rosie, it’s the last photo we have of Billy, Rosie’s dad.”

Rosie… Stevie had a little girl.

Another photo followed, this one of Stevie and a younger boy with curly hair, the kid all dressed up in a brown suit, hair done up to the nines, probably for some kind of party. No pregnancy in sight, they were both beaming at the camera, the kid with an awful lot of metal in his mouth but, adorable. The Polaroid had “Snowball!!!” scribbled on the white part, followed by a message reading “my mom took tons of photos of us for the Snowball dance back when I was in middle school, Stevie helped me do my hair” so the kid was supposed to be this ‘brother’ of hers.

A final photo was sent, this one clearer, obviously taken on a phone of what looked like a grade graduation ceremony, a more recent image of Stevie, with her daughter, and an older version of the kid from the snowball picture. Captioned with the message “only family could get so many family pictures!” 

The next message came through without a photo “we’re not related by birth, she was my babysitter for years before circumstances got her adopted by my mom. I’m oversharing a lot and she’s probably gonna kick my ass for it BUT I think she’d like you if she gave you a chance so I’m building a bridge of communication!”

Oh yeah, this guy had meddling little brother energy for days.

Eddie quickly typed back, “thanks for your vote of confidence, man but she isn’t giving me a chance here, you are, it’s not up to anyone but her.”

Typing—typing—tyyyyyping “she just doesn’t know you, an she’s hesitating cause of Rosie, I could probably get you a meet up though!”

“What like, ambushing her in the wild?”

“It’d work!”

“Sounds like it’d get me slapped by both her, and a restraining order an neither are good for my public image, or my feelings.” He then quickly added, before ‘Dustin’ could argue “Listen dude as much as I appreciate this, an I do, I’m real touched by your approval, it means the world to me, at the end of the day, it’s up to her. You can’t make this decision for her, alright?”

The typing stopped, then started again, and then stopped. Then finally “fine, but can you leave your DMs open for a little longer? She’s got Rosie to consider so she may just need to think about it a bit longer.”

“Deal.” He’d leave them open for one more day, after that he’d just have to accept the loss, accept that she didn’t want him, cause she sure as shit didn’t need him, and move on with his life.

Dustin sent him one last emoji, a little salute, and that was that for the rest of the night. There were a few more pings, opportunists, but nothing from the person who mattered most. He deleted them, switched his phone to silent, and took his disappointed little self to bed.

It wasn’t that late but, he was done for the day.

He was tired.

[mae-gi-writes]

A TURN OF PRIORITIES . PART TWO | BANG CHAN

Synopsis: What happens when you and Bang Chan decide to fake a relationship for the sake of making your ex-boyfriend jealous? A turn of priorities, that's what.

PART ONE · PART TWO · PART THREE

---

“We should totally go on a double date!”

You almost stumble over your feet in mid-walk, turning to send Minji a look that suggests she might have gone insane after all. “What?” 

“A double date,” she chirps, an overexcited bird that buzzes with life, her tote bag in hand as you both make your way up the campus stairs, “it would be fun! Imagine going to the amusement park.” 

A week has passed since the rumors about you and Chan had come about and to say that everyone was surprise was an understatement. You’d been part of the said ‘popular’ crowd for the sole reason that you had been on the cheerleading team in first year. That reputation had then followed you through till your final year. Chan, on the other hand, was completely anonymous and people were not hesitating to speak their thoughts aloud. 

“Never thought he’d be her type.”

“You think he has money? Maybe that’s what attracts her.” 

“If I knew I would’ve gone into Computer Science too.” 

Back and forth those comments would go, to a point where you had half a mind to tell them off and give them a piece of your own mind. But Chan, the gentle soul that he is, merely grabbed your arm, gave it a squeeze, before shaking his head. 

“It’s not worth it,” he always says like a priest devoting his soul to god, “trust me. It says a lot about them, it’s not about you.” 

That, however, has brought about a new problem; Minji’s over excitement about the fact that you were finally getting together with the man that had been waiting for you all his life. 

You don’t have the heart to tell her that it’s by far the most horrible fairytale you’re living in right now. 

“When are you free?” Minji quickly scrolls through her phone to find her calendar, eyes already scanning the dates where everyone would be free from university assignments, “How about early December? That should work right?” 

“I don’t know,” your heart can’t help but clamp up at the notion of spending the entire day watching Minho and Minji feeding each other stupid marshmallows from a stick, “I might not be free. I have to find a part-time job soon.” 

“Please Y/N,” Minji places her palms together, eyes widening like a cat begging for food and you find it’s hard to resist her charm no matter how much you try, “pretty please? It’s my treat. I’ll pay for everything, I promise.” 

In the end, you had no choice but to accept. It was either that or she would’ve invited you over for Christmas dinner with her family at her house. That simple image of you and Minho, with Mnji’s parents, in one room is embarrassing enough that you don’t even hesitate to agree. 

Chan, on the other hand, isn’t too pleased about the matter. 

“I don’t like amusement parks,” he complains that same afternoon. He’d decided to drop by after his biology experiments and is presently seated at your countertop as you dice the onions, followed by carrots, leeks, and lettuce. 

You’re too lazy to cook an actual dinner, so you had resigned yourself to making some Chinese porridge with a fried egg. Easy and simple enough. And plus, Chan loves eating porridge. 

“We don’t have to go on any,” you answer while stirring the rice, hot smoke flushing your face red. You glance at him over your shoulder, notice the stiffness in his shoulders that hadn’t been there yesterday, “what? Don’t tell me you’re not comfortable with amusement parks. They’re not that bad—“

“There are germs everywhere,” he cuts you off with glazed-over eyes as though he’s standing right there and seeing the nightmare unravel at his feet, “on the seats, in the toilet, on the railings where we queue up—“ he shudders, “no. No way. No thanks.” 

“Come on,” throwing all the ingredients into the pressure cooker, you set the timer and close the lid before whipping around with determination, “you have to go. It’s part of the deal.” 

“What deal?” 

“The fake dating deal.” 

“I said that I didn’t want—“

“You didn’t want to go to campus parties,” you interrupt him before he has a chance to speak and the way he bristles, you know you’ve won already by the guilt swimming in his eyes, “but you didn’t mention anything about amusement parks.” 

Still, Chan doesn’t say anything. He looks away, picking at a scratch on the countertop that only he would notice. 

“Come on,” you whine out, grabbing a hold of his arm and jiggling it around like a cat pawing its owner, “please please please. For me? Do it for me. Please—“

“Okay okay, fine!” He bats you away and you whoop in excitement. It’s too easy to take advantage of Chan’s kindness sometimes, but you love him for it, “thanks Chan.”

“You owe me.” 

“Aw come on, I’m making you porridge!” 

The weekend comes round all too soon and you find yourself on Saturday morning ditching your breakfast in favor of finding the perfect outfit to wear. This is a one in a lifetime chance to impress Minho and though it’s clear that he’s going out with Minji, that doesn’t mean you can’t flaunt yourself in his face and show him what he’s missing out on. 

You’re debating between wearing a cute crop top without sleeves or a white shirt that can be tucked into your jeans when the doorbell rings. You pad out in nothing but your sports bra and said bottoms to open the door, only to have your best friend yelp bloody murder. 

“Jeez Chan!” You quickly grab his forearms to pull him inside, rolling your eyes as you do so, “you’re such a girl.” 

“Just put some clothes on,” he’s already got his face covered with his hands, turning away in such a gentlemanly manner that it makes you scoff.

“What? You don’t even have an ounce of curiosity as to what my body might look like?” You ask him, finally deciding on wearing the white shirt. Minho did have a preference for light colors, you remark to yourself absentmindedly. 

Chan stutters at your question, “I—uhm—well I—“ 

You sigh, walk past him while tossing your jacket over his head, “you know what, don’t even answer that. I don’t want to know.” 

The walk to the subway station is comfortable — as comfortable as it can be with your creamy wedge heels that you had saved for the occasion — and upon reaching the station, you only realize that it’s the end of the month when you’re greeted by a sea of people maneuvering through the tight space, pushing you and Chan away from each other as you jostle to stay close.

“It’s packed,” you remark with a huff when you manage to locate a spare ticket dispenser. Chan is right at your side, pressed up against you as you try to order two tickets as quickly as possible. 

Chan groans, “I knew I shouldn’t have said yes to this outing. I’m going to regret it—“

“No,” you whip around, scowling, “you are going to have the time of your life, because you’re with me, and because we need to prove to Minho and Minji that we are the best couple this amusement park’s ever seen.” 

“I don’t understand how this is related to your love for Minho,” Chan notes. The tickets are dispensed and you retrieve them from the slot before he leads you out of the line. 

“Because,” your eyes scan the train schedule, identifying the right platform before moving towards it with purpose. Chan follows close behind, a hand closed around your arm, “I want Minho to regret having broken up with me.” 

“Why?” 

It’s only a mutter from Chan’s part and probably half-hearted at that. But it’s enough to set your veins on fire.

“Why?” You repeat back to him, eyes narrowed into slits as your mouth pulls down into a snarl, “because he fucking hurt me, that’s why. And to make things worse, he decided to hook up with my best friend.” 

“You can’t choose who you fall in love with, Y/N,” Chan says gently, “maybe things weren’t meant to work out between you two. Maybe you would’ve been unhappy—“

“Oh and what would you know about dating?” 

“To be honest, not much. But from what I know, I don’t think it’s doing you any good.” 

“Oh whatever,” you roll your eyes, “I’m done having this conversation.” 

“Okay, whatever you say Y/N.” 

His quick acceptance makes your blood boil with silent rage. You hate how nonchalant he’s being about all of this. It’s obvious that he’s disconnected, for he does not understand the kind of quiet turmoil you go through every time you spot them together, laughing, having the time of their lives…

You had that too, once. 

The ride to the amusement park station is quiet. Your head is adamantly turned away to the window, watch the landscape blur of trees, buildings and the city river zoom by in hopes that it provides enough distraction to calm you down. A pathetic attempt. Chan’s never been in your position, of course he won’t know how hard it is to see Minho flaunting Minji like she’s the most beautiful thing he’d set his eyes on. He doesn’t spend countless hours scrolling instagram to know where they are, what they are doing, whether she’s more fun than you ever were. He doesn’t look at himself in the mirror and wonder why in the world it wasn’t you. Why it never is. 

You’re so deep in your mind that you barely realized you’ve reached your stop until you feel a nudge from your side. Glancing back to see Chan gesturing you forward, it takes a second for your legs to start moving. You fall into step behind a crowd of friends erupting in cheers and shouts, and quickly duck out of the way to find the exit. 

“Y/N,” Chan’s quick to fall into step beside you, his hand reaching for your arm, “hey, can we talk—“

You brush him off, not in the mood to have such a conversation. Especially not in an amusement park, of all places.

But he’s more than persistent, grabs your arm in a firmer grip before twirling you around. His grip is firm, yet delicate. It’s only now you notice how careful he is, even when holding you. 

You do your best to avoid his stare, but if there’s anything that one needs to know about Chan, it is that he’s persistent, “look, I didn’t want to hurt your feelings. I just said it because I don’t like seeing you sad and hung up on him—“

“What would you know?” You bite back. He’s hurt you, more than he must know.

The furrow in his eyebrows deepen, “I know that you’re just doing all this to get his attention, not because you want him back, but because you want to convince yourself that you were good enough, better for him than anyone else will ever be, and—“

His words cause you to double over as tears slowly dribble down your cheeks. Pushing him away with a soft sob, your body moves on its own accord to get away. You need to get away. You can’t stay here, it feels suffocating. Too many people. Too many eyes—

“Y/N,” before you know it, Chan’s arms lace around your waist, twisting you around despite your weak protests before one of his hands reach up to press against the back of your head, guiding you into the crook of his neck. 

It’s enough. You let out another sob. Another, and another. And then, you’re silently crying, a steady stream of tears trickling down his shirt and causing a damp patch to appear along his chest and you have half a mind to pull away. But Chan’s grip is strong and firm, holding you still and allowing you to cry your heart out like you’ve never cried before. Not since your breakup with Minho. 

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry,” you keep on repeating it like a mantra. Unsure whether that’s for Chan, or for yourself. Maybe both, “I’m so sorry—“ 

He shushes you, a hand smoothing over the back of your head to signal that there’s no need for talking. The action is so confident, so smooth and at ease that your muscles slowly loosen up, your body melting into his like a puddle of goo. 

You’re not quite sure when your tears slowly dried up or when you’d stopped crying. What you did know though, is that Chan never let go, not once. You’re even met with slight resistance upon pulling away. 

“Are you sure you’re okay? Do you want another good cry? We can just say we both got sick and run back home,” he says and despite everything, it makes a small snort fall from your lips as you shake your head, “I’m okay, really.” 

“Are you sure?” Unconsciously, his hand brushes away a strand of hair sticking to the corner of your mouth, and the way his eyes swim with concern suddenly makes you a little self-conscious, warmth spreading through your limbs as you nod and say that yes, you’re fine now. It had just been a little hiccup.

Just in time, your cell phone suddenly erupts with the final Naruto soundtrack, with you quickly scrambling to find the said device nestled in your shoulder bag.

“Yes, hello?” You’re a little breathless by the time you have the phone pressed to your ear. 

“Hey!” It’s Minji, her voice loud and excited over the blurry echo of people in the background, “we’re already inside! Where are you guys?!”

“Oh, we just came. We’ll be at the entrance soon.” 

“Okey-dokes!” She squeals, “see ya!” 

You don’t notice you’re pulling a grimace as you end the call until you see Chan chuckling, “what?” You ask him as you start for the amusement park. The crowd of people has dwindled down, the morning rush hour now past its peak time and feeling the air rush through the underground tunnel is actually a refreshing change.

“Nothing,” his chuckles grow tenfold, “you have this face when you say something you don’t mean.”

“What face?” 

“That face, it’s like you’re the kid who almost gets caught doing something bad, but ultimately gets away with it.” 

“And you would know how that looks like, wouldn’t you?” 

“This is how you say thank you after I almost saved your life?” 

“What?! Excuse me? Saved my life? That’s an exaggeration.” 

It’s crazy to think that merely five minutes ago had you bawling into Chan’s neck and now you were bickering like this moment never even happened. This was one of the many reasons why you loved Chan dearly. He never held anything against you, never changed for the sake of your mood. He was ultimately, unforgivingly himself, and you loved and cherished and respected him for it.

“Come on,” you say with a half-smile, “let’s go and show them who’s the real couple.” 

———-

How things have changed from the moment you left the amusement park is still a newfound mystery. Had it been the moment where Minji had forced you to hold hands with him for the sake of the photographs? Had it been on one of the roller coaster rides where you’d gripped his hand by accident and hadn’t let go, even long after you’d gotten down and was wandering about looking for the next ride? Had it been when his competitive streak got the best of him while shooting ducks with Minho as his opponent? He’d won you a small goldfish plushie as a result of his success, and Minho had sulked quietly in his corner after that, which had brought you a sense of satisfaction as you gripped the plushie to your chest. 

“This is not fair,” Minho had whined as you’d started walking back towards the subway station in the direction of the cafeteria, “how come you’re so good at this?” 

Chan grinned, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree as his hand unconsciously went to link with yours, “determination.” He announced. 

“I’m sure this thing was rigged,” Minho had kept on mumbling while his girlfriend had tried cheering him up by smothering kisses all over his face. 

You’d turned your face away, more disgusted than hurt at the display of affection, and Chan had chuckled, before tugging you closer. The surprising action got you blinking up at him as your shoulders brushed, only to jolt upon feeling him tuck a few stray strands of hair behind your ear. 

“You look like you just got out of a smoothie mixer,” he’d commented with an amused smile. 

“I’m going to take that as a compliment,” you’d replied snarkily, not missing the way in which his thumb would stroke over your knuckles and causing another wave of heat to spread throughout your body. 

Or maybe, just maybe…it had been at that very specific moment where Minji had forced you to admire Chan’s features as you two waited at one of the diner tables, the two boys by the bar and waiting to order drinks for the four of you.

“I always thought Chan was attractive. He just isn’t very social,” Minji had said.

You whipped your head to throw her a look, “what?” This had been news to you. Minji had never batted an eye at Chan. 

“Well yeah. I couldn’t just say so you know, ‘cause everyone thought he was weird,” she shrugged, “but look at him. He’s actually not that bad if you ditch the geek look.” 

You had to agree with her that Chan’s glasses didn’t do him any justice, nor did the way he’d tuck his checkered shirt into his too-large jeans as though he’d bought them two sizes too big. 

But…now that you looked closely enough, he did have prominent features. Almond eyes, a strong nose and jawline accenting his angles, and a mouth so plump one would think he’d gotten them done.

You snapped back to reality, “no! That’s just wrong. We’ve known each other for such a long time. He’s like a brother to me—“

The words catch in your throat when you notice Minji’s frown, “But Y/N, you’re going out with him.” Her words had sounded accusing and alarm bells started ringing through your skull. 

“I—I mean, yes! Yes he’s gorgeous isn’t he? I never noticed it myself. What I meant to say was—he was such a good friend that it took me time to see it, you know, his Cham,” you had said  hurriedly. Sweat accumulated underneath your armpits. God. You were such a bad liar. 

That had been enough to convince Minji, but it was clear that you had to be even more careful moving forward. Then there was also the problem of having to fake a break up when…

When what? 

This is the dilemma that takes hold of you with such panic that you lay in bed, head buzzing with thoughts and feelings as you stare up at your ceiling. When exactly? What had you even been trying to provenanyway? 

This is it. It’s all gone wrong because you’d decided to spend time looking at your best friend like he’s a stranger. And now you’re regretting your life choices. 

The whole point of this relationship had been to show Minho that you were the better one, that you were the better girlfriend. But seeing him with Minji these past few weeks have taught you that the amount of  happiness you’d given him had been nothing in comparison to the way his smile widened every time Minji was around. It’s the way there’s glitter in his eyes when she smiles and the way his eyes follow her unconsciously wherever she goes. It’s the gentle touches when he thinks no one’s looking, of the way he doesn’t hesitate to be of service when she needs him.

He’s never been that caring, that doting, with you. 

A pang resonates through your chest at the realization.

Yes. Minho had loved you. But not nearly as much as he now loves Minji.

Why? What’s so wrong about you that’s unloveable? 

Are you that bad? Are you not good enough? Will you never be good enough?

A buzz from your phone shakes you out of your existential crisis and, still sorting through the flurry of emotions in your chest, you extend your arm towards your nightstand, make a grab for your phone before squinting at the screen. 

Chan: You up? I have something to tell you. 

A frown settles over your face. What’s so important that he can’t wait till you see each other in lecture later that day? 

Y/N: I mean…we are seeing each other in like thirty minutes. 

Chan: It can’t wait, Y/N. It’s kinda urgent. Can I call you? 

You dial his number. It takes him two seconds to pick up. 

“Hey,” he breathes on the other end of the line. He doesn’t sound upset, which is a good start. 

“Hi,” you shift, turn to the side to press the phone to your ear, “what’s up? What’s the emergency?” 

“Well…” there’s a bit of stalling on his part. You hear him shuffle from one foot to another. And then, just as you’re about to be snarky and tell him to hurry up, the next set of words causes all your blood to freeze in mid-flow. 

“Someone asked me out,” he chuckles as if he doesn’t quite believe it himself. You don’t quite believe it. Who would ask Chan out? Not that he’s not dating material, just not the type that girls on campus usually go for, “a girl from my industrial design class. Her name’s Eunchae. She’s really nice—“ 

“Wait—Wait hold on, what?” The words blurt out of your mouth before you can stop them, “you can’t! We’re still—we’re technically still dating!” 

“We can just fake a breakup or something—“ 

“But I still need you. We haven’t finished—“ 

“Y/N,” Chan cuts you off. His voice is firm, solid. Unlike anything you’ve heard before, “Minho is happy with Minji. You need to realize that.” 

Shame boils through you, “oh I’m sorry, I’m only trying to cope with the fact that I got chosen over and will never be good enough,” you snap, “but be my guest, thank you very much.” 

“Look,” his tone is gentle when he speaks next, “you and Minho just didn’t work out. But that doesn’t mean you’re not good enough. The right person will be there for you, Y/N. If you let them.” 

In reality, you don’t give a damn about Minho anymore. You don’t even care how much PDA he and Minji display around campus because someone else has stepped into your field of vision, and that person is blissfully unaware that you might be looking at them differently. 

But who are you to stop Chan from trying his shot at happiness? It’s not fair for you to hold him back merely because of a fake relationship. Something in your heart tugs wildly and you try not to choke on your own breath as scenarios of Chan and this mystery woman flash through your mind like a movie on rewind. 

“Y/N? You still there?” 

Chan’s gentle tone brings you back to reality and you mumble out, “yeah.” 

“Listen…just forget about it. It was a stupid idea to ask—“

“Go ahead.”

Chan splutters into a pause, “Huh?” 

“Go ahead. Ask her out. Make plans.” You bite your lower lip. The sting of tears blur your vision, “I’m not going to stand in your way.”

“Are you okay?” 

But you don’t answer. Instead, you cut off the call and then, as if a huge weight has fallen upon your shoulders, you start sobbing into the palms of your hands. 

———-

A/N: Part 2!!!!

Part 3 will be coming soon!! This is just the beginning of all the fake dating fluff that happens so chapter 3 will have a lot of that. So stay tuned!!

[anonimusunnoaniswriting]

Well here's part 2! ( ≻⸝⸝⸝≺ ྀི)

How can I deny a nice cup of tea and a massage ? There's no way. I thank you dearly.

You and Nanami probably gonna kill me with a huge sermon about not working overtime to which I have been doing more, and my poor health has been less healthy. I should say. But I'm managing it and taking care as much as I can. At some point I'll slow down a bit with the extra shifts.

May I adoringly nickname you as my Wifey now ? Is that okay ? Instead of Workwives we are Ficwives? (⁠ ⁠◜⁠‿⁠◝⁠ ⁠)⁠♡

Gonna start tagging our conversations as "The Miscellaneous Misadventures and Mischiefs of Noni & Kat", watcha thing about that ?

Take all the time you need about posting fics, sweetie. I follow discontinued stories and some that I have been waiting for idk three+ years to be continued ? I'm very patient in waiting even with my chronic issue problems. Like anxiety. Your slow cooking is worth the wait and it's gonna be delightful! (⁠｡⁠♡⁠‿⁠♡⁠｡⁠)

Please if I start yapping too much just tell.me to shut up that I'll go back to my void corner. But I would like to thank you, Bacon and Mrs Haitch and other dear moots that slowly got me into asking /interacting / talking more around here. You've all been so dear and welcoming ! You have no idea how that has affected me! Idk how many years I've been here, and I'm always dead silent. I just leave little thank you's and a small comment or notes on something. So thank you for adopting this stray cat.

It's wonderful people like you and them and your wonderful stories that have kept me going all these years, doesn't matter if it's an image, drabble, one shot, a whole 100 + chapter fic, that brings so many times comfort from the harsh real life world.

I am immensely grateful to have meet you, and for having you as a friend! And them included. (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠✧⁠*⁠。

Please do be feral ! It can happen always at anytime whatever the circumstances! I love and support feral ladies and everyone else ! Don't hold back ! Go absolutely gnawing feral over the things that matter for you and that you like talking about.

Now pouring the Tea !

I should leave you hanging a bit longer just for the pleasure of torturing you a little bit. But I won't. I might have the murderous resting face but I'm a softie by heart.

What can I say ? Before my brain fried ?

The little bit I observed, because yes I am shy and introvert irl, I barely talk and keep it mostly to myself, but I have a error on my code, depending on what happens, I blush easily (yes yes I know here am I 25+ blushing so bad that sometimes the tip of my ears get pink too, its horrible, there goes my bad face facade through the window) and sometimes my colleagues try to get that reaction out of me, which is hard because I know how to hide well. But sometimes like this, there's no way of denying and oh boy did they get a kick out of it, it was the talk all day. lol

It's a small bakery coffee shop, nothing glamorous or like Starbucks. It's local. Since the town basically revolves around tourism on the weekends usually it cramps up a bit. But mostly it's just the same old costumers.

But this guy never showed up here, on the shop. From the little I could observe, because usually I slyly avoid too eye contact much. He's tall, I would say early 50's ? Dark brown hair with some silverfox strands showing. A five o'clock shadow of a beard. Very well dressed, and accompanied. Yes yes. What you think about this glimpse of him ? I guess handsome in his ways ? Idk. But he was so polite.

Maybe one day I get lucky enough to meet someone with Nanami vibes, and things happens just as you described ?

Thank you for interacting with me ! Form your support and friendliness! I appreciate it so much, blessed be sweetie ! (⁠◍⁠•⁠ᴗ⁠•⁠◍⁠)⁠❤

With love,

Kat

My beautiful Love,

You're in the absolute correct place. In a perfect utopia, we would never have to work overtime, we would be fed and taken care of, and the world would not be the shit show that it is today.

Unfortunately, for us, we do not live in such a world and are forced to trudge to our places of work everyday. Slaves chained to a never ending unrewarding system that drains the very soul out of our selves.

Regardless. You must prioritise yourself, my love. You must. Because you are a ray of sunshine in this world and you should never be dimmed.

It goes without saying that I will keep writing. Keep creating. Whether it's a short or long or one like or smau whatever. Writing is everything to me. (It's actually going to be what 10 years of my writing and postings online I think ahahah) And though I'm not big and popular i don't care because interactions like yours MAKE MY DAY.

Darling.

I LOVE coffee shops like that. It sounds like a dream! Oh I'd love to meet "the one" in such a place. I have gobbled more coffee shop au stories than I can count and just love it. Keep em coming. But again, please look after yourself also.

Our Coffee Shop Silver Fox (CSSF) sounds totally daddy! Terribly attractive men who just breeze in and out being polite as shit are my actual honest to god weakness. Like marry me. Right now good sir pit a fucking ring on it.

I don't blame you for being flustered, I would be too!

And I hope you don't mind me saying but, my love, you sound gorgeous jsjs. 🫣🫣🫣

Stay safe, look after yourself, and make sure to drink enough water and eat your meals on time lovey.

Yours, in prose,

Wifey🩷

I wanna tag real quick here @uchihasanctuary and @pseudowho because they deserve to know you're a cutie who thinks about them too. (But we all know u love me mostest, right... ? )

[peachjagiya]

https://www.tumblr.com/peachjagiya/756684214340042752/httpsxcompeachesmintystatus18151844175577744?source=share

I'm sorry but I don't agree to this. He shouldn't be getting any heat for this nor any other members. First of all nobody knows his political stance so I don't know why people are interpretating whether he is a pro or not. As you said he is a big boy and can decide for themselves fandom doesn't have to be on his ass. Why do believe in forcing their values and beliefs on people. Your idea of truth maybe different from others. Also which corporate business is not related to any genocide/issues? Let's stop buying everything then. Everyone should be condemn for this. Where is this flak when for other issues? Do you know how fucked up the world is currently? Why selective ACTIVISM?

My problem is either you stan a person completely or you don't. Noone gets to critize others for their own beliefs and their own interpreted truth. So, again no, he should not be getting any heat. Anyone who thinks is a hypocrite.

First off, I do agree! We don't know his stance! He hasn't penned an open letter stating his political persuasions!

This actually did happen in my previous fandom - one of the actors signed that open letter that was pretty pro-Z!onist very early on in the active conflict and the actor involved never recovered his image really. Even after his opinion developed and he started to like and post pro-Palestine content, I think the damage was done. Some fries seems small and ambiguous compared to that.

I think it needs us to remember Tae didn't do that and you can't trust Army outrage when it comes to Tae. Its disproportionate always and they're consistently on the hunt for REASONS to hate openly. I have no doubt that they clicked into his posts - if they even looked at the posts and didn't just pick up a thread left by someone else - looking for issues. He could have posted a tiny little kitten and it would have been a problem for someone so I don't take their vitriol very seriously.

My problem is either you stan a person completely or you don't.

Here's where you lost me a little though. I don't subscribe to this. If you are unwilling to recognise they're human enough to make mistakes, you don't actually love and respect them at all. How you respond to the mistakes is where the love is - the effort to understand the nuance, the acceptance of them regardless, the opening your arms to their flawed selves...

Not the refusal to accept they could ever be capable of making a mistake.

As it happens, we don't know for entirely sure Tae made a mistake here. But if he ever does, I'll hold him accountable. If that means I'm not stanning properly, then so be it.

[ashboy-3]

What is it Like in your Shoes?

Written for DabiHawksweek 2023 Day 4 Prompt: BodySwap Fandom: MHA/BNHA Characters: Hawks (Keigo Takami), Dabi (Touya Todoroki), Aizawa Shota, Minor OC, Endeavor to push the plot along Words: 3691 Warnings: Mentions of Dabi's chronic pain that he should have and Aizawa being done with everybody Summary: Hawks and Dabi were happy to just eat dinner and hang out at their apartment, but a quirk mishap makes their day so much worse and why does Dabi have to go out and be a hero!?

“Hey pretty bird,” Dabi greeted the number two hero in the muddy ally.

“Hey, hot stuff, waiting long?” Hawks asked with a smirk.

“Please I’m used to you being late,” Dabi scoffed, but it only made Hawks laugh more.

“So we going to hang out here all night. Backway alleys aren’t exactly good for my image,” Hwask tilted his head.

“To good for the dirt of the city?” Dabi asked but grabbed the hero’s arm nonetheless.

“Hell yeah, I’m too good for the dirt of the city!” Hawks put a hand over his head mocking being offended, getting pushed by Dabi into a wall.

“If your to good for the dirt then why spend your time with me?”

“You’re not the dirt of the city Dabi,” Hawks rolled his eyes, use to the fire user blowing off his attempts at compliments.

“Yeah yeah,” Dabi waved him off as they continued to sneak through the night till they made it to Hawk’s apartment.

“Ready to fly up?” Hawks asked, grabbing Dabi around the waist to lift him.

“As I’ll ever be. You drop me and I’m roasting your ass,” Dabi glared but let himself be picked up and flew to the penthouse.

“Finally free!” Dabi ripped the medical mask off of his face.

“I’ll be right back. I’m going to pick up dinner,” Hawks told him as he flew right back out of the apartment.

“Dumb bird needs to eat better,” Dabi grumbled as he sat on the couch putting on some random movie.

Meanwhile, Hawks was able to make it all the way to KFC without incident, a place that he knows Dabi will yell at him about later but he has no food and he agreed to go food shopping once a week. That day is tomorrow not today and even if it was the fire user never gave him a list so fried chicken it is.

The actual problem arises as he was ordering. Hawks was happy to sit in the dining room and wait for his food to be ready, use to the attention that comes with being a top hero.

“Your Hawks,” a kid said, looked to be younger than his favorite and only intern.

“Yep! Number two hero and everything,” Hawks smirked. “Do you want an autograph or a picture?” Hawks asked.

“Wow fame has gone to your head,” the kid glared as alarm bells started to ring in Hawk’s head, but he tried to ignore them. This was just a kid.

The lady at the counter called his name and as he was about to get up and get it the kid stopped him. “Let me! I need to get paper for an autograph anyway,” the kid smiled.

Hawks couldn’t say no without sounding like a dick in public so he just smiled at let the kid go, texting Dabi that he would be home soon with dinner.

“Who am I making it out to?” Hawks asked as he got out a pen.

“Thomas Himura,” Hawks wrote the name flawlessly.

“That’s a strange name,” Hawks commented, curiosity getting the better of him.

“My dad’s Japanese but my mom is from America. Couldn’t decide on a nation so I got the lucky mix,” the kid shrugged as he passed the bag of food to Hawks. “Thanks so much for the autograph number two!” Thomas waved as he flew back home.

“Took you long enough,” Dabi grumbled from the couch.

“Got stopped by a fan,” Hawks shrugged, but put the chicken and sides on two plates, passing one to the fire user.

“You’re going shopping tomorrow. This is sad,” Dabi ordered, but still ate the food.

“Write me about what you want to get. You know I can’t cook,” Hawks shrugged, as he finished his food and the two cuddled on the couch for the rest of the movie before washing the dishes and heading to the bedroom to get some well-rested sleep.

Dabi woke up the next morning with a heavy weight on his back and a distinct lack of chronic pain in his body. Feeling tired and still out of it he made his way to the kitchen, hissing in pain when he felt something hit the weight on his back.

“Too early for this shit,” Dabi grumbled as he started the coffee maker, getting the sugar and creamer out. How Hawks can drink this shit black still amazes him. Grabbing the two fixed drinks he took a sip of his and noticed one that it was way too sweet for his liking which is strange cause he makes it the same way every time. The second thing he noticed was looking down, now fully awake, his arm had no scars, no staples, and no dark purple. It was clean and perfect. Paying attention now he put Hawks’s drink down and put his now free hand to his face. He didn’t feel any staples pulling at his skin. His skin felt way too soft and his eyes which held no staples felt sharper. Looking in the mirror closest mirror he could find he looked and instead of his reflection, he saw the birdbrain himself.

“WHAT THE FUCKING SHIT!” Dabi screamed, dropping his coffee on the floor, and making Hawks run in.

“Who the fuck are you!” Hawks asked pointing at the person standing in the living room who looked exactly like him, confusion forming on his face when a feather didn’t come to his hand when summoned.

“Shit!” Hawks yelled as he dropped his arm from pain, looking down he saw the vast purple scars that he came to fall in love with. Touching his face he felt the staple. Felt them as they connected his skin and induced pain with each movement. 

“Hey, Hawks. You good?” Dabi asked in his body and ‘oh my gosh Dabi is in my body!’

“Fine! I am the furthest thing from fine! How the fuck did we swap bodies!” Hawks was freaking out trying to move his arms and talked but was reminded of the pain. “How the fuck do you function with this much fucking pain!” Hawks gasped and he could see the frown forming on his face.

“I’m used to it. How do you handle this huge ass weight on your back?” Dabi grumbled, slouching.

“Don’t slouch. You’ll ruin my posture!” Hawks yelled, making Dabi roll his eyes.

“I think that you’re posture is the least of your worries.”

“You don’t understand. I have to go to work today. You have to go to work today,” Hawks pointed as Dabi’s eyes widened.

“Hell no! I can’t go to work as a hero!” Dabi protested.

“You don’t have a choice. I will go through hell if I miss work. So listen carefully. You have a morning team-up with Endeavor and I don’t want to hear it. Kill him in your own time, but not in my body,” Hawks glared at the fire user.

“I am not working with that asshole,” Dabi growled.

“You want to kill Endeavor well I worked too hard to get this close to him for you to fuck up my image. When you get your body back you can kill him all you want, but while in my body you will not lay a hand on him,” Hawks glared.

“Fine I won’t lay a hand on him,” Dabi grumbled knowing that if he truly angers the number two hero he could lose a good deal the two have going on.

“Good. Second, we have to find the kid that did this to us. I think I know who but we’re going to need Aizawa’s help. I need you to go to UA during your lunch break. Make it like you visiting Tokyami. I can be on call telling you what to say during the entire day if need be. Say his then get Aizawa alone and explain the situation. We will try to keep you being you a secret for as long as possible,” Hawks explained.

“This is never going to work. I don’t have control over your quirk as you do. I won’t be able to do this at all,” Dabi started to freak out.

“You will. I have trained my quirk well. They work kinda like an actual bird. Treat your wings like a second limb. If you jump out of a window and need to fly they will. Trust me,” Hawks smiled at him.

“Do not bring that shit in here. I am not jumping out of this window!”

“If you don’t I will push you,” Hawks glared and Dabi can admit, being on the other side of his glare he can understand why people do what he says.

“What are you going to do while I’m out playing the hero?” Dabi accused, turning on the scared man. 

“I can’t go anywhere and it is still my apartment so I’m just going to stay here. Enjoy my time off while I direct you and make sure you don’t ruin my reputation or get me in jail,” Hawks glared, not leaving any room for argument.

“Fine,” Dabi grumbled finally walking towards the window before immediately turning around. “Nope, I can’t do this.”

“Yes you can,” Hawks stopped him easily, slowly pushing him towards the edge.

“Hawks. Babe. Birdie can we talk about this?” Dabi asked, slowly walking backward.

“Their nothing to talk about. Now fly,” Hawks gave him a small kiss on the lips before pushing him over the balcony.

“Fuck you!” Dabi yelled as the wings stopped his fall, deciding not to stay he grumbled and started to fly towards his boyfriend’s agency.

His phone rang just as he landed. Dabi was confused for a second before he remembered. He had the bird’s jacket because he is the bird. This day is going to last forever,” Dabi groaned as he walked into the office, ignoring the call.

‘Deep breaths. You belong here,’ Dabi thought to himself as the sidekicks and other workers waved at him as he passed.

“There you are!” A high-pitched voice stopped him as he was walking, but that didn’t stop the person from grabbing his arm and dragging him to what he hopes is the bird’s office.

“You’re late! Not that I don’t appreciate you finally acting like every other person in the workforce but just because you sign my paychecks doesn’t mean you can’t call ahead like everyone else! Lucky for you that I work for you and I’m damn good at my job. I already warned the Endeavor agency to push the morning patrol to mid-morning. I got the message to clear your lunch which means your modeling gig was pushed to tomorrow but this is the second time I pushed it back so you have to be there. You have a lone patrol tonight, but Best Jeanist has been calling you again. Want me to redirect his calls again?” the woman who must be Hawks’s secretary asked.

“Actually can you give me five seconds?” Dabi asked as he pulled out the phone that hadn’t stopped ringing, they’d just been actively avoiding it.

“I’ll give you two minutes. You know how I feel about personal calls. Honestly, this place would burn to the ground without me here,” she rolled her eyes as she walked outside the office and closed the doors.

“Thank God you finally picked up,” his own voice came over the phone.

“I don’t have a lot of time. You’re secretary lady only gave me like two minutes. She’s scary,” Dabi told him as Hawks laughed.

“Yeah, but she keeps the agency up and running when I can’t. Now listen in my top drawer there’s a set of headphones, not the ones that I wear for flying but a smaller pair. Put one of those in your ear and make sure you can still hear what’s going on around you. I’ll talk you through the day,” Hawks informed him as Dabi did as he was told and found the headphones, putting one in his ear.

“Alright let’s get this day officially started. Make your way to the front desk and grab the papers that I know you didn’t grab,” Hawks's voice came in through his ear.

“Ah, you’re finally done. Are you okay with the schedule change?” she questioned.

“Say yes and thank her. Her name is Sakura.”

“Thank Sakura and yeah the schedule works great,” Dabi assured her as she smiled and walked away. Dabi was amazed at how easy it is to smile in Hawks’body.

“Ah, Hawks there you are. Here are the papers,” the guy at the front desk handed them to Hawks.

“Bring them back to my office and just leave them. I’ll have to do some extra papers tomorrow or whenever we get this fixed, I don’t think you can pull off my signature,” Hawks laughed as Dabi had to stop from rolling his eyes.

“Alright now make your way to the center. That’s where you’re meeting number one.”

“I don’t want to be in the same room as him unless I’m killing him,” Dabi grumbled.

“As long as you’re in my body-”

“I know I’ll behave,” Dabi groaned.

“You’re late Hawks,” Endeavor groaned.

“Relax big man! I’m here aren’t I,” Hawks said with a smile as Dabi repeated it.

“Whatever let’s go,” the taller male started to walk away, leaving Dabi to follow.

“I saw that Shoto is going to be interning at your agency,” Hawks commented and his brother was the last thing that Dabi wanted to talk about.

“How’s Shoto?” Dabi chooses to ask instead.

“My family is none of your business,” Endeavor grunted.

“Don’t lose your cool,” Hawks voice came into his ear, but Dabi didn’t feel like listening.

“Sorry for trying to give a fuck. What else are we supposed to do while on patrol?” Dabi asked and he could hear the head slap through the headphones.

“You have the nerve to talk to me like that!” the fire user roared, turning on his heel to face Dabi.

“Oh, I have the nerve! You have no right to treat me like I’m below you,” Dabi countered as an audience started to form around them.

“Are they fighting?”

“I mean it is Endeavor”

“What did he do to Hawks?”

“Dabi you really fucked this up,” Hawks groaned.

“Hey leave Hawks alone!” a bystander started to yell.

“Yeah stop being a jerk!” 

“Oh no! Dabi you got to start riot control! Try to calm them down and assure them that nothing is wrong and everything is okay,” Hawks directed.

“Fuck that shit. I’m walking away,” Dabi whispered back as the crowd parted ways for him., making his way to UA, and hanging up on the bird.

“Hawks, what are you doing here?” Aizawa asked as the number two hero walked into the gym.

“Oh you know just wanting to visit my favorite intern,” Dabi said, but how Eraser’s eyes narrowed at him.

“Cut the shit. I don’t have enough brain cells to deal with shit for the rest of the day,” Aizawa said as he took a drink out of a water bottle that Dabi was sure did not contain water.

“It’s more of a private situation. Just come over to Haw- my apartment when you have time,” Dabi asked.

“Class All Might and Present Mic are taking over I’ve got some business to take care of,” Aizawa yelled as he walked outside the gym.

“Are you coming?” the black-haired man asked.

“Right coming,” Dabi started to walk next to him.

“I’m not flying,” Eraser glared as he jumped up on a rough top, using his cloth.

“Fine by me,” Dabi rolled his eyes as he followed from the ground the two eventually made it to the apartment.

“Alright, what’s the problem?” Aizawa asked.

“We got to get inside first,” Dabi said, voice laced in sarcasm.

“Thank God you are here! I’ve been having an urge for a cigarette since you left. The news already knows about the morning patrol with Endeavor and the HPSC has been calling my personal nonstop,” Hawks complained, but was quickly stopped as Eraser activated his quirk and punched him in the face.

“Hawks, what is going on?” Aizawa asked, looking towards Dabi.

“Did you not tell him anything? You are such a dick!” Hawks yelled, trying to struggle out of the bonds. “Aizawa let me go! He’s Dabi I’m Hawks. I got hit by a quirk and I need your help!” 

“Do I want to know?” Aizawa asked.

“He’s telling the truth,” Dabi shrugged as realization hit him and he turned towards Hawks.

“You didn’t feed my body it’s morning or lunch cigarette!”

“I don’t smoke!” Hawks said, sarcasm in his voice.

“But I do and you’re in my body! You know I live off of cigarettes and alcohol!”

“Yet you yell at me to take care of my body,” Hawks rolled his eyes.

“My body is already fucked I can do whatever the hell I want to it! Last I checked you were supposed to be out saving lives!”

“Will you two shut the fuck up! I believe you. I’ll clear your schedule, Hawks. Do not leave this apartment and tell me what happened to make you both like this,” Aizawa used his dad voice on the two.

Dabi and Hawks exchanged a look with each other, fighting quietly before Hawks’s body turned and pouted as Dabi’s smiled wide. Aizawa was deeply unnerved by the body posture of both.

So with a smiling Dabi. Hawks explained what happened to them last night before they both went to bed.

“Ignoring the fact that you are harboring a villain and you are living with a hero,” I will go out and find this kid and let you know what I find. Behave,” Aizawa glared at the two before leaving.

“Could have gone better,” Hawks grumbled.

“Could have gone worse birdbrain,” Dabi rolled his eyes.

“Since you’re in my body would that make you birdbrain?” Hawks asked.

“Nope 'cause I’m still smarter,” Dabi smiled back.

“What do we do till he gets back,” Hawks asked out loud as he stretched on the couch.

“Movie and dinner?” Dabi offered.

“I’ll put in an order,” Hawks got off the couch.

“I’ll find a movie,” Dabi grabbed the remote.

It was forty-five minutes later that there was a knock on the door.

“Hawks Food,” Dabi pointed towards the door.

“I’m the one who looks like a villain you go get the door,” Hawks tried to push Dabi off the couch but forgot about all the muscle on his body.

“Will one of you open this fucking door!” Aizawa yelled from the other side, making both of them walk towards the door.

“Aizawa you got a kid with you,” Dabi observed as Aizawa was indeed holding a teen by his collar.

“Thomas remet the number two hero and fire villain Dabi. Dabi Hawks meet Thomas Himura,” Aizawa pushed the kid inside the apartment.

“Hey that’s the kid from last night,” Hawks observed.

“Yep and here’s your food. Be happy I stopped the delivery boy on his way up, now Thomas touch the damn food. I am too tired to deal with this shit,” the kid did as he was told.

“I only wanted to have a little fun,” Thomas mumbled.

“And I want to go one day without dealing with problem children, but we can’t always have what we want. Now fix the food.” the kid touched the bag of food as Aizawa placed it in front of them. “Now eat. I’ll explain. Kid, you’re free to go, but If I catch you doing something again I’ll put you in a cell for a week,” Aizawa pushed the kid outside the apartment.

“Am I going to jail after this?” Dabi asked as he ate the food.

“Are you going to kidnap another one of my kids?” Aizawa countered.

“Aaaww you call them your kids,” Hawks looked wide-eyed at the tired teacher.

“No Shiggs originally wanted that Todoroki kid and the fire guy, but I actually got him down to one,” Dabi told him.

“And I still have to make sure he’s in therapy!” Aizawa took a few deep breaths before continuing. “I’m not arresting you. If I run into you causing trouble then I’m carting your ass away. I was ready to arrest you when I first found out but was calmed down. The kid had a parent that was taken from him when Hawks did a drug bust a few months ago. His quirk works on food. He can make people switch bodies as long as they ingest the food that he touches. He wanted some revenge, but he already signed forms so he can’t talk about anything that happened today without consent from all three of us or he really will be in a cell. His guardian was there for him to sign the papers so don’t worry. When you wake up tomorrow you should be back to normal. Hawks if you are ever in trouble call me. I don’t care what time it is or what’s going on. I will answer and if I find out that Dabi has hurt you in any way I will kill him,” Aizawa assured as he walked out the door.

“Was he aware that I am still here?” Dabi asked as he finished eating the food.

“I think it was sweet. While I never want to experience this again it was nice to know what you have to go through every day. I had to take way more pain pills than necessary,” Hawks groaned as he picked up both plates to wash them.

“I guess your life as a hero isn’t as easy as I make fun of you for,” Dabi agreed.

“So you’re going to stop making fun of me!?” Hawks asked hopefully.

“Not a chance!” Dabi laughed as the two walked back towards the bedroom.

“Night Kei,” Dabi laid down in bed, turning off the lights.

“Night Tou,” Hawks pulled the covers over them.

Both were in pure bliss when they woke up the next morning to discover themselves in their original bodies.

[project-sour-grapes]

New New Leaf

I got a new job as a software engineer in a neuro imaging lab. There is a giant quote pasted on the wall of my jiu jitsu gym that says, "If you're looking for a big opportunity, accept a big challenge." This is definitely one of those moments.

I have been honing my cybersecurity skills and filling in all of the holes of my knowledge. I have been learning pentesting and how to actually make webservers and databases from scratch like I should have learned 10 years ago. Oh well. The second best time to plant a tree is today. I am feeling stupid constantly, but there's another quote that, "The person who asks a question is a fool for a minute; the person who nevers asks is a fool for a lifetime."

I don't know who the fuck these quotes are from.

On another note, the hospital that I currently work is an awful environment and the hospital itself is failing. I'm on the fence about staying per-diem and just working a few Sundays a month, given that the new engineer job is 9-5 Mon-Fri (versus leaving and being free of that toxic place). Staying would help me meet my financial goals on a steadier cadence, and it would probably give me just enough people interaction to scratch the patient care itch. But fuck, the environment makes me really despise people. I'm trying to balance the idea of, "The world is a mirror, not a window," with the fact that emergency medicine is a circus, and that remaining as the tiny bug under the foot of the wobbly chair that Dr. Elephant, MD, is balancing on is a psycho-socioeconomic deathwish. Is the brokenness of a system an acceptable reason to quit?

The thing I'm really trying to balance is my ability to tell myself when I'm being a whiny, little bitch with seeing others through that same lens and not being able to voice, "Hey, you're being a whiny, little bitch" (ergo, my patients). How can a person have one framework for themselves and then not get mad at others who hold themselves to a lower standard? Why am I wiping your ass, because you've been in our ER shitting yourself once every week since 2020, because you do street drugs instead of taking your seizure medication? But with this cynicism and anger, I don't have energy left over for good patients. Then I'm like every other person working in healthcare, who I swore I would never be like. Now what? There are 500,000 assholes who work in healthcare. Should I be number 500,001?

Back to systems being broken: every system is broken. If I think I should only have a career in a non-broken industry, I should go fuck myself, because I won't find one. On top of that, if a system isn't broken, would there be any improvement to be made? I would get bored and leave anyway. The system wouldn't need me. Or I'd be replaceable by any other goofball who can keep the system humming, and I always leave jobs like that.

The stopping point that I hit with jobs in broken systems is that I feel crushed by incompetent people who have more power than I do: asshole paramedics, patronizing nurses who treat their patients like shit, doctors who couldn't pass a Neuroscience 101 class. I watch them treat others like garbage, and I feel a limit on what I can do as a tech to say, "YOU ARE TREATING YOUR PATIENT LIKE GARBAGE." Or in other terms, "VERY TACTFULLY GO FUCK YOURSELF." But the REAL real issue is my own competence and position. The problem is MY refusal to become something, to sit down and study to be in their position and do it better. And I don't even have to go to paramedic, or nursing, or medical school. I am fully capable of sitting and learning everything that they know with all of the free textbooks and learning materials online. I just choose not to.

And it's not a question of whether I'm going to become a medic or a doctor (definitely not a fucking nurse, I swear to fuck). It's a question of--whatever I decide to do--am I going to do the fuck out of it or not? If I do this new engineering job, am I going to do it 200% or not? If I keep some per-diem hospital shifts on Sundays, am I going to take care of my patients 200% or not? Am I going to keep learning and growing and sharing what I've learned with others? Am I going to be a steward of medicine and science in every capacity that I can? Or not? Am I going to be a little bitch?

But we can't forget the healthcare paradox, where doctors, nurses, and medics work and study for 50-100 hours a week to become something and yet have to pay lip service to patients who refuse to take action to improve themselves. How can one empathize with the other for long?

I don't know what to do here. I can't run away from the question. That is what I have been doing in various ways for a decade (at least, the larger question of balancing competitiveness with caring for others).

I don't know. I'm sounding whiny. Gonna go for a run.

[pseudinymous]

Why would someone not eat not enough calories every day in spite of not having body image issues? When we think of eating disorders, we often think of disorders in the vein of anorexia nervosa, where body image plays a pivotal role in the avoidance of food.

There is, however, a much newer diagnosis in the DSM 5 that not many people know about: Avoidant Restrictive Food Intake Disorder (ARFID). This eating disorder occurs when someone will not eat enough calories or get proper nutrition day to day because they, for example, aren't interested in eating food, don't have enough appetite, find too many foods difficult to eat (out of disgust for the taste/texture), etc.

This disorder is common among people with ADHD and autism. Unsurprisingly.

It is, unfortunately, a problem I am personally well acquainted with. I struggle to eat enough day to day, and frequently find myself in starvation mode because I have to absolutely force myself to eat what is in front of me unless it is one of very few especially favoured foods. It has gotten to the point where I am directed to just eat three grapes every few hours to make sure I don't accidentally starve myself in between times I'm not at the sushi shop, which is about the only food right now I will reliably consume. The only other way to get me to eat food regularly is to put me on a work schedule with a reasonably set time for lunch/snacks. I can almost never finish a whole meal, and certainly not without it feeling like a marathon.

If this is you, please get this looked into. It may not be anorexia, and people probably tell you they are jealous of you not wanting to eat all the time. You may be frustrated that you can only tolerate food that is highly bad for you and/or has absolutely no nutrition, like fried food (been there, done that). It's not well known among doctors yet but a decent psych should be able to help lead you on a path to eating more, little bit by little bit. It's certainly not something you can turn around and change overnight.

This is just a little PSA, in case others have trouble with this as much as I do.

Being a “picky eater” is not your fault.

[manjiroscum]

all for you

Character/s: Bonten!Haruchiyo Sanzu

Warnings: f!reader, cursing, mentions of violence, pregnancy, established relationship, and a lot of fluff.

Note: this is for bby mari 😚💖 @marism thank you so much for the support 😭💘 ilysm

Synopsis: Your husband comes home in time to hear the good news.

✃WC: 1.3k

Married to Sanzu Haruchiyo for four years should’ve made you immune to his careless shenanigans and whatever hazardous job Bonten throws at him depending on what has been keeping them busy, especially since you used to be a member of said organization before the marriage. Yet, even after witnessing all the violence and blood-shedding, your heart still couldn’t stop aching whenever your husband gets a bruise, a blow to the head, or even just a minuscule cut that bled too much to your liking.

All you ever whispered into the ceiling whenever you were home all alone was his safety and for him to come back without any injuries. Maybe asking for it was too much, but you didn’t stop wishing for it. So, when you saw him, a big smile on his face after announcing he’s home with bandages on his head, your heart dropped to the pit of your stomach.

The hormones must be manifesting by now, evident in how your waterworks continued to flow despite Haruchiyo trying to calm you down, offering a trip to the family diner across the apartment to ease your hunger that quickly dissipated upon his arrival. Still, he dragged you out of the building and sat you on the leather seat across him. Hands snatching the menu from the intimidated server who would rather be cleaning tables than entertain you two. After ordering a few meals and fries, he then had the nerve to laugh at his state.

“It’s nothing, honey—I swear it’s just a kick to the head! Fucker didn’t even do much damage as he would’ve liked.”

A pout on your face, you thought of millions of ways on how to torment your husband for doing this to you—letting your mind worry too much and hating yourself because he might be annoyed by your constant fussing. You couldn’t help it—the cruel image of your husband dying or getting severely hurt was enough to give you nightmares. Especially now that you have to take care of someone other than yourself. Which is why your nerves were all over the place… you couldn’t do it alone. Wiping away tears that haven’t fallen with the back of your hand, you glared at your husband’s carefree statement.

“Nothing? Haru, you have a visible lump on your head! Don’t fucking tell me it’s nothing—you could’ve blacked out or… or something!”

Face clearly wincing at your words, Haruchiyo sheepishly laughed. Perhaps taking your volatile self to a family diner where kids could listen to such colorful vocabulary wasn’t a good idea. “Honey, don’t be so mad. You know the job is important and Mikey would’ve chewed us out if we backed out. Besides, Ran got out worst than I did—”

“You expect me to be happy about that? Haru, maybe I haven’t said this aloud for your head to take note but I’d prefer my husband to come back home unscathed. If Mikey has a problem with that, then I should talk to him about a thing or two!” The rest of your words died at the back of your tongue upon hearing Haruchiyo sigh, lowering your head. Another wave of tears formed at the possibility he had enough of your complaining. Who wouldn’t be tired after a whole day of working and coming home to receive an earful? “I-I’m sorry, Haru… I didn’t mean to yell at you. I just… I just don’t want to see you hurt. I missed you so badly and when I saw you had bandages around your head, I flipped instantly.”

His huge hands reached out across the table, calloused palms wrapping around yours and squeezed in assurance. Baby blue eyes warm and mirthful at your show of concern.

“Don’t apologize. I should be doing that… I’m the evil one for making my wife cry.” Seeing him smile sadly, you were bawling in an instant. It surprised him. Prepared for any police raid, assassination or even to defuse a bomb—Haruchiyo’s skills on cheating death was no use in this field, leaving him a blundering mess as he shot up from his seat to take the empty one next to you. “H-hey, hey, don’t cry. Pretty girl, you shouldn't be wasting your tears on me...” Arms embracing your quivering form, he cooed. “Come on now, your eyes will get puffy.”

“I-I can’t seem to stop, I’m sorry,” you mumbled into his chest, the comforting beat of his heart lulling you to a peaceful state of mind. “I’m so emotional these past few days, I fucking hate it.”

“Is it because of your period?” he whispered, nimble fingers carding through your hair. “I’ve been gone for a long while, so I’ve lost track of it. Wanna get a milkshake? Or do you want to drink a few beers? We haven’t got to do our Friday movie night last time and I feel bad for leaving you all alone at home. Must’ve been damn lonely.”

Peeling yourself off of his comforting hug, you glanced up at him. Unable to contain your excitement. You were going to tell him the good news until you saw his bandaged head, putting him first before anything else. Now that you’ve calmed down, it was the perfect time to do so. “Mhm, it’s alright. Although, no beers for me, Haru. Maybe we can drink together again after… a year?”

“A year? How come?” Haruchiyo was confused by your words, unable to pinpoint exactly why you couldn’t. “Did you find out something? Wait, you went to the hospital a few weeks ago, correct? You haven’t been feeling well...” His face paled in realization, slightly backing away that made you nervous too. “Fuck, are… are you ill? Did those doctors find something? Shit, get up.”

“H-huh?”

“I said get up, I’ll take you to the hospital.” Haruchiyo was quick to stand, hand wrapped around your wrist and urging for you to do the same. Bewildered by his actions, you sat there gawking at him. “I don’t know any doctor, so I’ll ask Kakucho on the way there if he knows a good one. I won’t have you catching some stupid illness—not on my fucking watch.”

“Wait, why are you taking me to the hospital? The food isn’t even here yet.”

“But you’re sick.”

Brow raised at his odd behavior, you then giggled and patted on the seat once more. “Listen, you should let me finish first before jumping to conclusions. I haven’t even reached the best part!” Biting his inner cheek, Haruchiyo slowly did as he was told and sat once again. Still, he was anxious with the way he was squirming.

“So… you’re not sick?”

You shook your head, hearing him sigh in relief. “Actually, it’s much better than what you’ve envisioned. I went to the doctor last week, correct?” Seeing him nod, you continued. “Well, I went back a few days ago just to make sure and I apologize for keeping it a secret this long. I didn’t want to have our hopes up, knowing we’ve been trying for so long.” You cleared your throat, signaling that you were quite serious as you stared into his eyes with a beaming smile. “Haru, you’re gonna be a father.”

“W-what?” It took around ten minutes before he spoke, voice soft like he was about to cry. “What did you say—could you please repeat it, hon?”

“H-Haru, I’m pregnant,” you stammered, getting emotional once again seeing how his lips quivered. Azure irises glistening with tears as he hugged you tight, muttering endless words of gratitude into the crook of your neck. It didn’t took long for him to recover, cursing under his breath at the tears streaming down his cheek and saying he’ll kill anyone who saw him cry.

“C-can I kiss you?”

“Gonna makeout out here in the diner?” you laughed, yet still leaned close to his face, cheeks warm at the close proximity. The scars on the corner of his lips all curled up in happiness at the news, palm never leaving your stomach that was protecting his growing child. “I thought you hate that shit, said it’s cringe.”

“I know, but if it’s with my wife… I don’t fucking care. I’m just so fucking happy,” he whispered before capturing your lips into a passionate kiss, carrying all promises of keeping you and the baby safe. “If anyone complains, they’ll be eating my gun.”

“Haru, no.”

🎐taglist: @ranilingus @wakaslut @sanzuchi @thesimpsclub @s-ugei @tobidabio @nameless-shrimp @festive @blueparadis @stffychn

[didyoutrydynamite]

loved your knightshift short, can you try another non cannon romance but with Willow Schnee this time please.

Jaune: Uggh my head… *waking up with a heavy hangover* Who knew Weiss could host such a rager… *as he tries to get up, he realizes something is holding him down in bed, or more accurately, someone…*

Jaune: *Freezes* What the… *Looks down and sees a full head of long snow white hair* W-w-w-w-what?! Did- did I hook up with Weiss last night?! Oh man, did I haves SEX last night? *slaps hand against forehead* Oum damnit, did I lose my virginity while black out drunk? *gasps* Oh crap! Did I take Weiss’s virginity while she was drunk? Was she a virgin too?

Jaune: *Feels the girl shift on his chest, causing him to blush hard when he realizes two things. One, she wasn't wearing a shirt. And two, she had certainly ample assets.* Ok… so it’s not Weiss… holy shit did I sleep with Winter?! Oh Mercury is gonna be so jealous! Wait, bad Jaune. You should be focusing on Winter rather than thinking about your image. *Looks down to the woman currently snuggling him* Wow… So what does this mean? Are we like a couple now? Or is this going to be just a one time thing? It would kinda suck if thats the case and I couldn’t remember it, but I’m not gonna push it if she feels that way.

Woman: *shifts and groans a bit as they start to stir awake* Mmmmm…

Jaune: Well I guess I can ask her now, Oum please let her remember what happened last so she doesn’t freak out. G-goodmorning Wi-

Willow: *Raises her head from Jaunes chest, her eyes groggy and her hair slightly disheveled* H-huh…?

Jaune: - Wi- Willow? Oh god I am so dead. No, I am literally dead if anyone finds out I slept with Mrs. Schnee. It’ll just be a race between Weiss and Willow to see who could freeze my heart solid first.

Willow: *Stares confusedly at Jaune for a moment before smiling and letting out a chuckle* Oh, yes. Good morning to you, Jaune~ *leans in and kisses him good morning*

Jaune: *Brain fries as the hot older woman kisses him like a lover* Oh shit. OH SHIT! She’s kissing me! Quick! What would Neon say to do in a time like this? Confidence! Go with the flow without hesitation. *Leans in and clumsily deepens the kiss*

Willow: Mmph! My, my Jaune~ Excited already? And after such a show last night?

Jaune: J-just wanna make a good impression! Heh… Heh…

Willow: Hmm~ And what a deep impression you made. *gently stroking a finger on his chest*

Jaune: *Face goes completely red from the implication. He tries to say something until he sees her wedding ring* That’s right, Mrs.Schnee. I, Jaune Arc, last night had a drunken affair with an older woman married to one of the most richest and powerful men in Atlas. Oh god if he found out he could buy and sell me, if he doesn’t hire an assassin to kill me first. Hell he’s a councilman! He can have me kicked out of Bulwark and deported out of the kingdom! I-I need to end this quickly before anyone finds out!

Jaune: S-so, uhm, about your husband- *before he could say more, he feels Willow put a finger up to his lips to silence him*

Willow: *Looking significantly sadder* Don’t. J-just don’t. I know it’s selfish… but please. Let me enjoy this, at least for this morning. I don’t want to think about the consequences for now, and pretend everything's alright with you.

Jaune: … Y-yeah, of course. I can do that.

Willow: *A slight smile appears and she pecks his lips before cuddling into his chest*

Jaune: *Hesitantly wraps his arms around her and just lays there with her*

Willow: It’s… been a while.

Jaune: S-since you slept with someone?

Willow: … Since I’ve been held like this. Too long.

Jaune: *Feels his heart strain at such a sad statement, foregoing all hesitancy and pulling her closer into him. Hoping he was warm enough.*

Willow: Thank you…

Jaune: No problem Mrs. Schnee.

Willow: Please. Call me Willow.

Jaune: Yes, Willow. *Before he knew it, Jaune kissed the top of Willow's head and held her closer. He didn’t know why he did it, but by the way his new lover sighed, it sounded like she needed it.*

[thenon-fictiondays]

Hirano to Kagiura light novel translation 1-5

Chapter 1: The first time.

Part 5

Prev || Next

T/N: (1) "non-stop ringing of the alarm clock in the early morning" according to vol 3, Kagi sets many alarms in the morning to wake up and this is not well received by their dorm-mates lmao

(2) Chicken katsu: breaded fried chicken; yakitori: chicken skewers

He returns to the dorm straight after school and studies until dinnertime. After that, he spends the entire time at his desk, with the exception of bathtime. To Kagiura, life is an endless cycle of strain. At any rate, he finds himself overtaken by drowsiness.

Because Hirano begins helping him stretch partway through, saying ‘your body will get stiff otherwise’, he feels he might really fall asleep there. If he asks, Hirano might even let him rest his head on his lap.

In no time flat, Hirano is giving him a wake-up call.

For Hirano to rouse him from his bed after getting up first, with no prompting besides the complaints from the surrounding dorm rooms at the non-stop ringing of the alarm clock in the early morning, is really quite kind.

Having an older sister and brother as well as a younger sister, Kagiura knows that older brothers are not this soft on their younger brothers, and he knows from experience that being an older brother does not awaken in one an instinct for caring for others, either.

This is the case even though they get along with each other. That’s why the distance between him and Hirano feels even closer than with his family.

Special treatment.

He can understand the meaning of what Hanzawa pointed out in consequence with feeling it for himself. Up to and including now, there’s probably no one who has cared about him as much as Hirano has. The problem is, he can’t think of anything he can do to be helpful to Hirano.

For them to be special to each other, he can’t just accept Hirano’s kindness.

It isn’t enough just to confide in him about his troubles. But if he told him he wants Hirano to rely on him, it would just seem like a joke.

How much longer will it take before he can be someone who can lend a hand to his tolerant senpai, who seems much more than one year older?

Impatience smolders in the pit of his stomach.

Hirano Taiga is a man of abundant charm, and it’s exceedingly obvious that his kouhai in the committee idolize him.

Kagiura has no intention of selfishly telling him ‘I want you to be only my senpai’, but he’s envious that he has relationships of trust with others besides him.

“Don’t space out. Here’s a test from last year. You can solve the problem sets from the same unit, but since the basics are covered by the textbook, you should focus on reviewing the parts that will probably appear on the test based on the pattern of the questions on this one.”

When Kagiura opens his eyes, which were drifting shut without him even noticing that he’d gotten distracted, he sees the proffered collection of graded test papers.

As expected, they all have high scores. How dazzling.

“…..Got it.”

The novelty of seeing ‘first year’ along with the class name and Hirano’s full name written out manages to stave off Kagiura’s drowsiness. His student number is also written.

Hirano’s warm fingers gently brush against his as he takes the papers, and it occurs to Kagiura that Hirano must be sleepy too.

When he looks up over his shoulder at Hirano, his eyes look slightly bleary.

Maybe he was yawning.

He should have told him ‘please go ahead and sleep’.

Hirano, always early to prepare, doesn’t seem to be the type to cram at the eleventh hour, and even before midterms he hadn’t been burning the midnight oil while studying.

“Hey, sorry if I’m wrong, but…the notes you copy are all over the place, aren’t they?”

He’d hit the nail on the head, and Kagiura, the very image of health, feels his chest ache.

“Well…that might be the case for some of them.”

“What percentage?”

“Um. …..Hmmm, about 70…80 percent…?”

“Come on now.”

He could probably see the notes that were still spread all over Kagiura’s desk. Without knowing how much he’d missed, Kagiura would leave a blank space and continue writing, and then while copying notes borrowed from Niibashi after class, would omit the parts that didn’t fit in the space he left.

“Yeah…if you mark things you don’t understand while taking notes, there is another way to do it, but there are formulas missing in weird places and the shapes are half-assed, so it’ll be tough to use this as a reference.”

As expected, Kagiura goes pale at the harsh remark. It’s impossible not to be shocked when his method of tackling his studies is declared meaningless.

He had been hoping that if he could get the ratio of parts that he understands to parts that he doesn’t understand to 50/50, he could still pass despite not being good at math—

“Am I really in that much trouble?”

“Probably. Even if you look at last year’s tests, you won’t get it, because you don’t know what the questions mean.”

“…..Oh.”

“Ah, well…I mean. It might just be a hunch, but many of the questions included in past tests are standard ones that can be used as a reference for successful studying, so let’s focus on those. Forget the applied questions for now. That’s for after you get down the basics.”

Unable to utter a word besides ‘yes’, Kagiura hangs his head, and Hirano strokes it, saying ‘there, there’.

It’s almost like he’s being kept as a pet.

When he drops his head down onto Hirano’s shoulder, he scolds him, saying ‘don’t fall asleep in your chair’, but at the sound of Hirano’s yawns coming in quick succession, Kagiura grins.

The next day.

Hirano wakes Kagiura up at 6 in the morning, suggesting they study during the time normally set aside for morning practice. Kagiura had heard Hirano was also bad with mornings, but that sure didn’t seem to be the case.

I wonder if he just said that to match up with me, Kagiura thought suspiciously.

However, when he looks closely at Hirano, even through sleepy eyes Kagiura can plainly see that he’d been wrong.

His incessant yawns, as well as his eyelids suddenly drifting closed as if heavy, lend truth to his words, and Kagiura begins to feel bad.

When Hirano, dressed in wrinkled loungewear and stifling his yawns, tells him ‘get out your textbook’, Kagiura takes it out of his bag as prompted.

What’s he doing? he thinks while watching Hirano stick post-it notes in various places. As he watches him, Kagiura realizes that he’s pointing out the parts that are most likely to be asked on the exam.

“Start by reading the textbook. Here.”

He has long since gotten used to the sharp gleam of Hirano’s eyes as he fixes him with a glare, but even Kagiura freezes up at this troublesome situation.

“Yes.” He nods and focuses his attention on the chapter.

When he looks at the test papers after reading the explanations written in the book, he does indeed understand what is being asked of him. The problem is, without being able to use the textbook for the actual test, it’s unlikely that he’ll be able to fill in the answers.

“That’s why you should memorize them….”

“Yeah,” he sighs.

It would be imprudent to talk about it, so he hasn’t told anyone, but among those who received sports recommendations, he scored the most points, and so was given special treatment when entering the school.

So, to put it plainly, his grades don’t even come close. If he does poorly, he might have the worst marks of his entire grade. He won’t be able to attend school if he doesn’t recover, but he’s just not cut out for it.

His midterm exam results were all over the place. He got good scores on the special elective courses, but there were many that he didn’t do well on. At that point, the subjects that he scored below average on were in the majority.

At any rate, he had scored better in middle school.

He can’t shake the sense of impending doom.

It’s just, even though he thought he took it seriously, he couldn’t get as good results as he got from sports.

These problems must have seemed a lot easier to first year Hirano.

He maintained his concentration for just under half an hour.

Just as breakfast time at the cafeteria starts, Kagiura gets to his feet.

“I wanna go running.”

More than his empty stomach, he was impatient with the uncontrollable urge to move.

He slept until the last minute yesterday and so didn’t notice, but when he wakes up early, the deeply ingrained habit of exercising nags at him. The urge to go outside is unbearably strong, as though a switch has slipped somewhere in his body.

“You say that, but it’s raining outside.”

“It was sunny yesterday, though.”

While he complains he moves his body slightly, and he can see Hirano stretch as well.

“Rain or shine, you’re still gonna have to study for your tests, so just be patient. There’s no shortcut or anything…it’s the same with basketball, right?”

Kagiura considers the sincerity of Hirano’s voice as he admonishes him.

At least for Kagiura, his whole body was jumpy and his heart throbbed even before the first time he ever picked up a basketball. While watching athletes play, he could understand how to move the same way.

Kagiura was born with a strong command of his muscles, but he had been unable to narrow down exactly which sport he was best suited to until then. The moment he discovered basketball, he knew exactly what it was he should be doing with himself.

And when he stepped onto a court for himself, when someone extolled praise upon him, saying ‘you’ll be an amazing athlete once you refine your accuracy’, Kagiura’s taste was drawn to basketball. When harsh practices piled on, he obtained a clear vision.

“I’ll do my best.”

“You got this.”

He can’t exactly say he’s encouraged.

But this is probably how studying goes for Hirano. It is easier for him to find the path he should take, and know how to go about reaching it.

If that’s the case, Kagiura wants to try to find a path that isn’t a roundabout way as well. It’s not fun, but it’s absolutely better than throwing in the towel.

When they resume studying, the room is filled with the pleasant sound of mechanical pencils scratching on fine paper.

The dorm has a self-study room, but Kagiura hasn’t used it yet.

Combined with the characteristics of the dorm, he can’t help but feel that the space should be used by accelerated course students—those who are waiting to take exams, too.

However, he feels like working on problems while feeling the presence of someone studying by his side helps him to concentrate.

But at precisely 6:45, his stomach rumbled audibly.

“…I wanna eat something.”

“I have some chocolate.”

Hirano’s response makes him happy.

“Meat would be good. Chicken katsu, maybe…”

After answering, Kagiura began to regret not accepting the chocolate.

Eating food besides at the cafeteria is forbidden in the dorms as a general rule. Only drinks are permitted. The snacks in his bag are for snacking on at school.

Even though Hirano was the one who told him that, here he is offering snacks!

“When it comes to chicken, I personally prefer yakitori.”

I see, so he likes yakitori. Kagiura makes a mental note as he stands from his seat. He can’t take it anymore. He wants to eat.

“Hey Hirano-san, I’ve heard that it’s easier to study on an empty stomach than a full one, but I don’t think that’s the case for me.”

“You keep bringing up food. Wanna go get breakfast?”

Hirano rubs his stomach as he changes his slippers, saying “I’m starving”.

In the cramped foyer, it seems like he might end up touching him, so Kagiura, who’d gotten caught up in Hirano’s movements, quickly withdraws his hands.

He takes a step back from Hirano’s bent form.

He thinks nothing of getting jostled by his teammates in the locker room while changing, but he has yet to reach that level of intimacy with Hirano.

At the same time, he might have overreacted.

I want to get closer to Hirano-san, so that I don’t get nervous over something like this.

Hirano’s expression is the same as always as he steps into the hallway ahead of Kagiura, with no idea of the turmoil he'd put him in.

*****

Prev || Next

[ms-demeanor]

The Very Basics of Not Killing Your Computer

AVOID HEAT STRESS

If you have a laptop DO NOT use it on a soft surface like a pillow or on a blanket, it’ll block the vents on your computer and make it get really fucking hot inside.

If you have a desktop you gotta open it up and blow out the dust sometimes.

If you are moving your laptop in a bag turn the laptop off. Don’t put it to sleep, don’t just shut the screen, turn it off, because otherwise it’s in the bag generating heat and there’s nowhere for the heat to go in the bag. OFF. Not sleep. OFF.

DO NOT DROP

Okay I know that should be obvious but drop damage to your hard drive is bad bad news. Be as careful as you can to set your computer gently on flat surfaces; don’t leave it hanging out on a bed where it can get knocked off, don’t set it on the roof of your car. And yes, just dropping it a couple inches can kill your hard drive or totally shatter your screen.

DON’T PUT SHIT ON YOUR KEYBOARD

Look I’ve seen four people ruin their laptops because they had a pen on the keyboard and closed the laptop and it fucked up the screen and the keyboard and it sucks so much and you feel awful after it happens because it’s so avoidable just don’t put things on your keyboard and always check that your laptop is clear before you close it.

PROTECT YOUR PORTS ON YOUR LAPTOP

You’ve only got one power jack and a limited number of other inputs on your computer and if they detach from the motherboard you’re fucked. USB ports get damaged because people use them a lot and eventually it weakens the connection and then they just stop working and it sucks. You can get around this with USB ports by using a USB hub to connect things like your keyboard and mouse.

For your power plug you just gotta be careful. Avoid tripping over the cord at all costs, don’t yank the plug out of the computer. It will SUCK VERY MUCH A LOT if you have to buy a new computer because the power port lost contact with the motherboard.

Don’t move your computer with things plugged into it. Take the power cord off before you put your laptop in the bag, take out the USB mouse dongle, do not travel with little nubby bits sticking out of your computer that can easily get caught or get tweaked or snap off inside of the thing.

(I really can’t emphasize enough that most of the “it will cost more than it’s worth to fix this” laptops I see are because of USB ports and power jacks. People don’t seem to know that this isn’t something that can be fixed easily; a broken power jack is a “remove the motherboard and resoldier components” job, not a “plug a new one in in fifteen minutes” job and most computer repair shops aren’t going to solder things for you and if they DO it’s going to be very expensive)

RESTART YOUR SHIT AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH AND JUST LET THE FUCKING UPDATES RUN

You should probably restart more than once a month but whatever. This is actually something that I consider part of reducing heat stress because when your processor is straining to keep up with all the background bullshit that’s running from a program you opened three weeks ago it’s going to use up resources and get hot and look just restart it once in a while.

Also the updates are almost always okay and safe and generally running updates is a good and secure thing to do (though maybe follow a blog dedicated to the OS you run because if there IS a problem with the updates that blog will probably talk about it before the update gets forced on your computer)

ANTIVIRUS BULLSHIT

Yes you should probably be running an antivirus.

Sophos is free and it’s fine. But don’t pay for it - if you’re using Sophos use the free version.

If you’re looking for something paid and a little more comprehensive I recommend ESET - get the cheap version, renewals cost less than the initial purchase, and feel free to get a multi-year version, the credentials follow your email not the computer so if your computer dies before your license expires you can install the license on a new computer.

DO NOT INSTALL NORTON OR MCAFEE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE BULLSHIT. Kaspersky is whatever. It’s less bullshit than Norton or McAfee but not as good as ESET for about the same cost.

If you think you’ve got a virus run the free version of Malwarebytes and get your shit cleaned.

KEEP LIQUIDS THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER

Again this should be obvious and yet. But seriously, just make a rule for yourself that drinks aren’t allowed on the same table as your computer and you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches.

PLUG YOUR COMPUTER INTO A UPS

Okay I fucking hate amazon but here’s a thing you should be using, just search the rest of the internet for “surge protector/UPS” and you’ll find something that isn’t from amazon - APC is a solid brand for this.

Basically you want a fat surge protector that has a little bit of a battery backup and you want to plug your computer (desktop OR laptop) into that instead of into the wall. The benefit of this is twofold:

1) if there’s a power surge the UPS will prevent your computer’s power supply from getting fried and possibly frying parts of your motherboard

2) if there’s a power outage and you’re *at* your computer you’ll have enough time to save what you’re working on before your computer loses power (like, you’ll maybe only have a minute or two on a small UPS but that’s still time to hit CTRL+S and keep from losing work)

At a bare, bare minimum your computer should be plugged into a surge protector but NOT directly into the wall.

BACK YOUR SHIT UP

[we interrupt this yelling for me to tell you that Western Digital has apparently released their new My Passport line and I’m obligated to inform you that you can get a 2.5″ USB 3.0 backup drive with FIVE FUCKING TERABYTES OF STORAGE for $130. Or you can get 4TB for $93. Or you can get 1TB for $53. basically what I’m saying is that it is not only cheap computer season it is also cheap hard drive season.]

[also if you’re getting a backup drive get western digital not seagate seagate fucking sucks and has a much higher failure rate]

Uh, okay, anyway - Do an image backup of your computer every once in a while so that if you get infected or your hard drive dies or whatever you can just restore from backup and move on like nothing happened.

HERE’S HOW TO DO AN IMAGE BACKUP.

SAVE YOURSELF THE WEAR AND TEAR

You know what is cheap? USB Keyboards and USB mice. You know what is not cheap? Fixing the touchpad on a laptop or replacing a laptop keyboard.

Get yourself a USB hub, a USB Keyboard and a USB Mouse (wired or wireless, doesn’t matter) and if you’re using your laptop at home plug *that* into your computer.

Also if your keyboard on your laptop breaks it’s fine just to use a USB keyboard instead I promise; if the screen breaks it’s also usually cheaper and easier to get a used or inexpensive monitor than it is to replace the screen. Your laptop is basically just a very small version of whatever bullshit is going on inside a desktop, if the peripherals break but the core components are fine you can just use it like a desktop.

Unless it’s a piece of shit that doesn’t have any USB ports or video out in which case you got ripped off, friend, demand functionality in your devices I’m sorry.

/rant

[glitxhwayventeen]

The Sickly One

Wonwoo

Characters: Wonwoo x female reader

Warnings: mentions of war, mentions of health issues, mentions of parental death, memtions of main character death, mentions of trauma, mentions of blood, mentions of sexism, mentions of misogyny, lying, mentions of trouble eating, mentions of food, mentions of deadly illness, mentions of deceased family members, self image issues, mentions of needles/medical procedures, mentions of short life, let me know if I missed any because I write these chapters during different days and I forget!

Authors Note: Did I say Wednesday? Well Friday’s kinda like a Wednesday for me because it’s stupid long and in the middle of my work the week. So close enough🤷🏻‍♀️ If you can’t tell this has been very much thought about because it’s suuuuuuuch a good read/idea and I got real invested tbh. But on another note, YAY HAPPINESS FOR WONWOO FINALLY!!

Please remember that all of these chapters and the content within them are a work of fiction! They’re just for fun/entertainment!

Bold- Dialogue Italics- Thoughts

Paved With Good Intentions Master List

Tag List @babyminghao

☁️ & 🥀 & 🌈

The Sickly One Part 1 & Part 2

When you woke up the next day, you felt oddly… fine. You didn’t feel as though you needed to throw up like you usually did in the mornings. And you didn’t wake up having trouble breathing either, which had just recently became a problem for you.

You weren’t gonna lie, it freaked you out a bit as you knew that sometimes patients could get random fits of energy just before they passed away. You heard the doctors talking about one day, they called it The Surge. What a dumb name.

Though as much as the extra energy scared you, you definitely weren’t gonna complain. You were willing to take just about any sort of break the universe was willing to give you at that point.

While you were stewing in your own thoughts, you jumped at the sight of your nurse coming towards you with her usual vital taking basket and cart. You were so busy thinking to yourself, you hadn’t even realized she had come into the room just after you had opened your eyes.

You would’ve normally found it creepy that she was really just waiting by your room door for you to wake up, but you knew she meant no harm and that she was just trying to give you what little peace someone like you could get given the circumstances.

“Good morning!” She beamed with her usual Earth shattering smile plastered on her face.

“Good morning ma’am,” You groggily responded, rubbing your eyes and clearing your thoughts in the process.

She began to set up her gear to take your blood pressure and to no doubt take some of your blood for testing, “How’s my favorite little pin cushion today?” As much as you wanted to hate the nickname she gave you, you couldn’t.

It was clever and it’s not like she was wrong anymore, you were just basically a human pincushion now given how much they had to take from you, “I see you got a little smile on that worn out face. Were we dreaming of that cute boy from yesterday by chance?” She grinned at you as she started the pump to the blood pressure machine, which then began to constrict your arm.

“What!? No- No. He- He’s just a friend.” You lied to her as best as you could, hoping she couldn’t see through your stuttering, “He came to see me to see how I was doing, you know, with everyone coming to say their goodbyes and all. He was just being kind.” You informed her, praying she couldn’t see the deep blush that was appearing on your face.

She gave you a look of disbelief as the machine finally released you from its death grip, “Mhhhhm. Sure baby. Whatever you say,” she not so convincingly nonchalantly agreed while writing your relatively stable vital signs down on her little clipboard, “Either way, i suppose I should thank the boy for finally letting us see some color on that pretty face of yours…” She teased you.

“I’m serious,” You protested poorly, “He’s- he’s just a friend.”

Because that’s all he was: a friend. And, due to your current failing health, that’s all he ever could be.

You swallowed thickly before continuing, “Besides, I’m dying. Who would ever want someone as sick as me for the short amount of time I’ve got left?”

It wasn’t the first time you’d dreamt about a false reality where you and Wonwoo would be together. But that was all fiction and in your head. No one would want to start dating someone who’s dying if they could help it. That’s just common sense and you were just delusional from your body beginning to give up on you.

“Plus he’s always super busy, seeing me more would put a strain on him that isn’t needed. And not to mention, I’VE barely got enough in ME to deal with me being sick, I don’t have time for boys either.” You tried to sound rational but in all reality you were 99% positive it came off as sulking.

She injected a needle into the arm that had the least amount of tubes attached causing you to wince a bit in pain.

You never really were one for needles, “If you say so sweetheart, but I just want to say that I haven’t seen you this happy or with this much energy before. Maybe he’s the key to your recovery!” She chuckled lightly at the thought.

You laughed right along with her, finding the thought kind of hilarious as the both of you knew, you weren’t gonna recover. You were never gonna see outside of the hospital walls again.

She quickly finished taking her 6 tubes of blood for the morning and gathered the remainder of her things so she could move onto the next patient she had to check on, “Oh! And about that boy you’re oh so convinced couldn’t POSSIBLY like you because you’re sick-,” She leaned back into the doorway like she forgot to mention something to you to gain your attention.

“Yes…?” You questioned as you took a sip from the juice cup she had left you to regain some much needed fluids after the blood draw.

“He’s been waiting for visiting hours to open back up in the waiting room.”

You widened your eyes at her in complete shock, but not before you managed to spit your drink across your bed.

Were you secretly hoping he might possibly maybe show up again before it was too late? Yeah a little bit. But you were’t putting all your hopes into it. And you definitely weren’t expecting it to be the very next day. And you certainly weren’t expecting him to wait in the lobby for visiting hours to open back up just so he could come see you.

“And since it’s right on time for visiting hours to start,” She pointed at her Apple Watch, completely ignoring your caught off guard expression and your little outburst, “I suppose i should let your ‘friend’ come in then. Or would you rather i not..? Since you know, you’re SOOOOO convinced that neither of you have the time for one another because he’s too ‘busy’ with his own life and you’re too busy losing yours?,” She rhetorically asked with a shit eating smirk.

You gulped down a lump in your throat you hadn’t even realized had formed, “N- No. That’s okay,” you croaked, doing your best to smooth your messy bedhead to prepare yourself for your unexpected (but more than welcomed) visitor, “You can l- let him in please…”

——

Sure enough, a few moments after your loving nurse left, your Prince Charming had come knocking on your door with an adorably shy smile. But this time when he came through your door after you invited him in, he came with something peculiar in his hands. It looked a lot like… a boutique of flowers…? But… How?

“Wonwoo!” You exclaimed, wanting more than anything to get up off your bed and hug him until you lost your breath.

If it wasn’t for all the cords and wires attached to you, you might have seriously done it given the amount of energy you felt that day. But since you had more things hooked up to you than a car battery, the best you could settle for was a bright happy smile and a wave.

“Hi _____!” He sheepishly spoke as he tried to suppress an excited grin, gripping whatever was in his hand a little tighter, “Glad to see you up. You look like you feel better today.”

Did you really? Or was he just being nice? Probably the last one.. Oh well. At least he was sweet enough to lie to you.

“I do feel a bit better today,” You confirmed with a nod and a thumbs up, “I seem to have some energy for once.”

Wonwoo took a seat in the chair that was sat next to you again like he had the day before, sending your heart flying, “Well good. I hope you’re up for a small visit from me then…”

You looked down at your fingers and began to fidget with them, “Even if I wasn’t, I’d still want you to visit me,” You spoke so quietly that Wonwoo was sure that if he weren’t a wolf, he wouldn’t have actually been able to decipher it. He wasn’t even sure you actually really meant it, but either way, it sent him swooning.

You picked up on his longing stare from the corner of your eye and tried to change the subject, hoping to stop the embarrassment you had created for yourself, “So whatcha got there?” You pointed to the object in his hands.

“Oh this!” He snapped out of his little trance at the reminder, “T- This is- Well they’re- They’re for you. I hope you like them.” He handed you the small bundle bound together with a pink ribbbon.

They were a sorted bunch of different types of flowers in different colors and sizes. They definitely weren’t real now that you got a closer look. Maybe made of some sort of paper, you decided. But they were so realistic looking that it took you by surprise.

“Wonwoo, they’re- they’re beautiful! Where did you get these?” You questioned him as you inspected each and every one you had in your hand, wanting to go over every detail of the finely made fake bundle of flowers.

“Well I- I made them,” He cleared his throat at his own answer, as if he was embarrassed of it or worried to say it aloud.

Which you found absolutely ridiculous. After all, shoe could someone be embarrassed over making such beautiful pieces of art?

Your attention dropped from the flowers and fell onto him in awe, “Y-You made these…?” You spoke in a small voice.

No one had ever made anything for you other than your nephew, least of all a boy you had a deep crush on.

He actually went out of his way and gave you something he made. You wanted to cry from the sheer happiness looking at the little bouquet gave you. But you couldn’t, that would be weird.

So instead, you kept on talking and asking questions, “But when? How? Why? Wonwoo, these are amazing!” You cheered as you ran your petite shakey hands along one of the paper petals, completely mesmerized by the dedication and time he must’ve used to make them.

“I made them yesterday after I left. They’re really not that hard to make… my mom showed me one time.” He admitted.

Your heart dropped. He must’ve been up all night making them, “I figured since you can’t have real flowers, these would be the next best thing.”

Not only had he stayed up all night to make you the bouquet of fake flowers, but he did it because the hospital wouldn’t let you have the real ones you loved so much in your room, “Sorry if they’re not the best…” He gulped as he rubbed the back of his neck earnestly, “It’s been quite a while since I had made them.”

“Are you kidding me!?!” You nearly shouted as you tried to blink back all the hot tears of joy you felt collecting in your eyes, “They’re gorgeous! I love them!” You declared, catching a whiff of their scent mid sentence, “I swear they even smell wonderful!”

He nervously chuckled gently as the tips of his ears went red. He thought you might appreciate them, maybe even like them, but he never thought you’d like them the way you were expressing you did, “I sprayed some cologne on them so they’d be a bit more realistic. None of the girls had anything floral smelling though, so I just used my own. I hope that was okay.”

“They’re perfect just the way they are!” You squealed, holding your new gift in your hand like it was your most prized possession because to you, it now was.

Before you could let out another expression of gratitude, a sudden realization hit you as you actually thought about what the flowers meant and represented, “But Wonwoo… These must have taken you all night,” You say staring at him, looking at his appearance a little more in depth.

His eyes were a bit sunken in, his hair was very obviously not combed, and he looked like he was wearing the same clothes from yesterday…

“Did you-” you paused to collect yourself so you wouldn’t let out a sob in the middle of your sentence, “Did you stay up just to make these for me?” You pondered aloud, hoping that the older boy would actually answer you instead of avoiding your question.

He bit his lip, “I- Well I-” He stopped himself once he realized how dead serious you looked.

You’d know if he was lying. He was sure of it.

He never was a good liar to begin with, but he knew lying to someone as much as he loved you would be damn near impossible for him, “M- Maybe…? But I wanted to!” He made sure to clarify sternly, he knew you’d freak out if you thought he did it because he felt obligated, “I left thinking that you deserved something nice to balance out all the sadness here. Then I remembered yesterday you talked about missing real flowers because they were one of your favorite things. Since they wouldn’t let you have real ones… I figured… I figured I’d give you the next best thing.” He finished, tilting his head down so he wouldn’t have to look you in the eye.

But you still couldn’t believe it. This boy who hardly knew you purposely lost a nights sleep to MAKE you flowers because he wanted you to have a bit of happiness in your life.

He could’ve just bought some at a store that were fake. Sure they wouldn’t have been real, but he wouldn’t have had to do so much work. He actually took the time to do something thoughtful and sweet… for you.

The tears that had welled up in your eyes had finally found their way down your cheeks. You sat your new flowers down on your lap and all but threw yourself to sit on the edge of your bed and wrapped your arms around Wonwoo.

Your sudden action startled him a bit as he wasn’t really expecting someone as sick as yourself to do what you had just done.

“Thank you Wonu.” You whispered in his ear.

But once he got passed the initial shock, he encased you in a hug back with a small smile on his tired face, “You’re welcome _______.”

——

He came back to visit the next day too, much to your surprise. Except this time instead of flowers, he had actually brought the materials to make them. He spent the better part of the day showing you how to expertly make the beautiful decor you had come to really love so you could have more for your room.

“There see! You got it! You’re a total pro!” He insisted, holding his magazine cover like flower in his hand while pointing at your own sad version of one.

You just smiled back at him and giggled, “I think I might just be okay at it. But regardless, they’re still my favorite thing to look at.” You spoke softly as you continued to twist a piece of colored paper around it’s thin metal base to make a stem.

“Why’s that?” Wonwoo wondered aloud as he tried his best not to stare at your concentrating face.

Everytime you caught him staring, your heart rate would speed up on the monitor and his inner wolf would jump in excitement at the thought of making you nervous. But he could tell it embarrassed you because you were a relatively shy girl, so he tried to keep the stolen glances to a minimum. Even if restricting his view of you was killing him.

“Because they remind me of my favorite person.” You replied without thinking, happily adding a new flower top to your creation to form a whole plant.

Favorite person? “Who’s your favorite person?” He calmly asked you.

Though on the inside he couldn’t help but feel the jealousy of his mate loving someone more than him already beginning to manifest itself in his chest.

“You.”

Now it was Wonwoo’s turn to be an anxious mess of word stumbles and blushing cheeks. He had never heard you be so forward before with another person.

He couldn’t believe you actually said what you had said and actually meant it, “Y-You really mean that ____?”

“Of course I do! Besides, being around you makes me feel 100 times better!” You giggled, speaking from your heart.

Because you weren’t sugarcoating anything. You weren’t just being nice or polite. You truly meant every word you had just said to him. He was your favorite person.

Of course you loved your sister and your nephew and you always would. But they were family, you had always loved them because they’d always be there for you.

But Wonwoo used to be a total stranger to you not that long ago. An unbelievably loving and amazing individual person who went out of his way to try to make your day just because he wanted you to feel better. And somehow by the grace of god, it worked.

Because after every visit, you’d feel like you could practically run a marathon. You felt like you could actually eat solid food without getting sick and like you could stand up without holding onto anything. You felt like you might’ve actually had a shot at beating your illness, even if it was more than likely a total illusion. His visits kept you going, he was your favorite person.

“Knock knock!” Your doctor interrupted you both from the door, “Sorry to bother you Ms. ______, but it’s time.”

You lowly bowed your head and nodded to the older man as you sat your newly formed flower on the tray next to your bed in anticipation for what was to come. Based on how you played with your fingernails, it was obvious to anyone that you were nervous. Wonwoo just didn’t know why.

“Time? Time for what?” The tall boy pushed in a more aggressive tone than a normal person would’ve.

The doctor’s entrance seemed to upset you and in the mind of your werewolf mate, that meant he was a hostile being he had to protect you from, even if you didn’t know he was doing it for that particular reason.

You gulped as you laid down on your bed and turned to switch to your side, all happiness seemingly have left your voice, “For me to be a guinea pig.”

Guinea Pig? Was that a joke he should’ve picked up on or something?

Wonwoo just sat there in his chair in silence as he turned to the doctor for some sort of explanation. You looked too defeated to speak.

The doctor smiled softly at him, “She has to do a spinal tap again for a pre-staged clinical trial. It’s part of her deal with the hospital.” He awkwardly told him, your eyes staring at some random spot on your bed as the doctor began prepping your back by moving your gown, “You should probably head home for the night son,” your doctor recommended, “these tests can be difficult for families and friends to witness…” He gestured to the door as he pulled up his rolling stool and wheeled it to the bedside that was facing your back.

“Go? I’m not going anywhere! What deal? What are you talking about?” He stood and defensively sneered at the older man, who was now setting his little torture devices on a sterile cloth near you so he could begin.

He was beginning to freak out as fear coursed through his body like a cold shower before you finally spoke up, “It’s okay Wonu, it’s so Omi doesn’t get left with a huge hospital bill when I’m gone. I let them do their extra tests to help with their data and they cover the cost of my bills,” you all but whispered to him, only making his eyes widen in horror, “It’s hard, but it’s for my sister. I’d do anything for her. And part of that anything is to be sure i don’t make her go bankrupt when I’m gone.” You tried to reason with him with glossy eyes, “But you can’t tell her okay? If Omi knew, she’d make me stop them. I can’t have her paying for all of this. It wouldn’t be fair to her. Please promise me you won’t say anything.” You begged him with pleading eyes.

Wonwoo’s features softened as he listened to you. He sat back down in his chair and leaned in closer to you, “I won’t tell her okay? It’s just between you and me.”

He reassured you with the same soft sad smile everyone seemed to use with you now so you wouldn’t start panicking.

“It won’t be but a minute Ms. ______. i just have to get the needle ready.” The doctor informed you from over your shoulder, causing goosebumps to form on your body in anticipation of the activities you had to go through with.

You sniffled slightly and rested your head back down onto your pillow and gripped it for dear life to prepare yourself for the incoming pain, “G- Good,” you gave him a weakened smile, “You should- You should go. It’s gonna get pretty ugly and I’m- I’m sure you won’t want to be around me when I’m crying like a little baby when the needle goes between my vertebrae.” You half heartedly joked with him as you tensed your muscles.

He wasn’t a huge fan of blood. Or guts. Or bones. Or needles. But like hell he was gonna let you go through something as scary as a needle to the spine alone.

Wonwoo grabbed one of your hands from your pillow, “I’m not gong anywhere okay?”

You looked back at him with watery eyes and bit your lip, easily giving into the wolf’s want to stay with you because you didn’t want to be going through it by yourself, “Squeeze as hard as you need to okay? I can take it. I’m big and strong.” He winked at you, kissing the back of your cold hand for moral support.

In normal circumstances, you would’ve blushed at even the thought of Wonwoo’s lips on your hand. But truthfully, you were far too anxious to be feeling anything other than fear in the moment.

The doctor gave a small sigh from behind you through his mask, “Are you ready Ms. _______?”

You closed your eyes out of habit and tried your best to relax yourself, knowing if you were tensed it would hurt all the more, “Yes doctor. Go ahead.”

And with that, he jabbed the evil death trap through your skin and into your spine, causing you to yelp a little louder than you had meant to and tighten your grip on Wonwoo’s hand in reaction.

He let a whine slip from his chest too. He never really liked seeing anyone in pain, it made him upset. But seeing you lying there with your quivering lip as you tried your best to hold back your tears and screams broke a little something in him he didn’t even know he had. He never wanted you to have to go through it again.

“Wonwoo, can you- can you talk about something?” You winced as you felt the metal go a little deeper into your spinal column.

“What would you like me to talk about?” Wonwoo asked concerned as he brought his other hand up to hold both your small hands in his overly large ones in comfort.

You gritted your teeth as the pain became more than you could bare, “I don’t know… Anything Just Anything to distract me from the pain. Please!” You were crying thick tears down the side of your face.

It felt like hot lead was streaming through your back and up every single nerve. You wanted to be strong. You hated that he had to see you so vulnerable and sick. But just crying was better than yelling out for your mother because you were in such intense pain, right?

So at your request, he thought of the first thing that popped into his mind, “What happened to your mom?”

You ungritted your teeth and loosened your hold on the older boys hand as the topic took you by surprise, “W- What?”

“You never told me what happened to her. Chan’s tried to ask Omi, but she refuses to talk about it. And you bring her up a lot,” He informed you as he drew in a breath to keep himself from bursting into tears at seeing you hurt, “So I was wondering… What actually happened to her? Can you tell me?”

You laid there dumbfounded at his odd request. You didn’t mind speaking about your mom like your older sister did. You didn’t remember her a whole lot so the memories weren’t as sad for you. Well… at least, not when it came to her.

“My mom was… she was…” You trailed off, trying your best to push the pain away so you could answer Wonwoo, “She was sick too. With what I have. I guess it was… well I guess it IS hereditary. She… she died when I was 5.” You spoke softly as Wonwoo stared intensely at you, listening to every word out of your mouth like you had just told him about the second coming.

“She loved us… Even though our dad didn’t really want a family, she loved us enough for the both of them. And everything was fine… that is… until she got sick,” You let out a mournful sigh, completely ignoring the doctor moving about your back at that point as you were focused on your mom, “I don’t remember a lot… I know she lost her hair… And one day she stopped being able to pick me up.” You closed your eyes tightly to remember anything else you could about her, but really saw nothing due to the memories not forming because of how small you were, “Then one day she was just… gone. The only thing that’s really stuck with me from it all is Omi’s face. She was crying a lot. She took care of her a lot even though she was so little. When mom died, she kind of took over as her and had to grow up so fast and… that was that.” You finished as you began to play with Wonwoo’s fingers to distract yourself from not only the uncomfortable feeling between your bones, but from the uncomfortableness of speaking of your dead mother.

“Is- is that way you care so much about worrying your sister… and why you won’t let San come to visit…? Because you don’t want to traumatize San and because you don’t want your sister to relive it all again?” Wonwoo inquired gently as he pushed a piece of your messy hair behind your ear with one of his hands.

You thought about it for a moment as you tried to forget about the seething needle in your back once again. WAS that the reason you carried so much about hurting your sister and adding onto her stress? Because you didn’t want to see her sad again? Was she why you were so adamant about keeping your young nephew away? So he wouldn’t have to go through what your sister went through?

You cleared your throat, careful not to move too much so you wouldn’t mess up your procedure, “I- I guess so… I don’t want my nephew to be affected by this. And I dont want Omira to ever be that sad again… Which is by you absolutely CANNOT tell her about the trials okay? It would crush her if she knew what I was doing.” You mentioned as you felt a cold tear slip down your face again and onto the pillow below your head.

“I won’t tell her,” Wonwoo swore as he wiped away the tears remains on your face, “I promise.”

You shut your eyes tight to try and stop the stinging that was forming more tears, but it wasn’t working too well, “I just… I just want her to be happy you know. She’s- She’s had such a hard life…” Your voice became weaker with every word that came out of your mouth, “She didn’t want to ever even get married, you know. She wasn’t the one who wanted a family. I was,” You chuckled gently at the irony that was the universe as Wonwoo looked at you with sorrow.

“And now look at us: She has a beautiful son she’ll get to watch grow up and- and a loving boyfriend she gets to go home to everyday and I-” you faltered, you’d never said the next words you planned on saying out loud before, “I probably won’t live to see my next birthday. And part of me is so mad at her for that, but it’s not even her fault.” The words were out now. You weren’t even sure why you felt the need to tell Wonwoo if all people. He just made you feel safe enough to share anything with him. So you kept going, “I’m upset that she gets to have everything I wanted and now- now I won’t even get to be there to see everything that she has that I’ve ever wanted. It’s so stupid right?” You laughed in dry chuckles with streams of water falling down your face, not even caring that the doctor behind you heard every word you said too.

The more water that fell from your eyes, the more Wonwoo glided them away, “It’s not stupid _____. It’s not stupid at all.”

You popped your head up fast enough for the doctor behind you to scold you for potentially messing up the tube in your spine, “He’ll- He’ll take care of her right? Channie I mean. He’ll take good care of my sister right?” You pondered in a barely audible voice as your face turned serious and your eyes jetted to look deep into Wonwoo’s.

You looked so… hurt by the fact that you knew you wouldn’t be there to see your sister finally get to be happy and free. He couldn’t imagine how hard that thought must’ve been for you.

“Yes _____, He will. We all will okay? So you don’t need to worry.” He gave you an apologetic face as he played with a stray lock of your hair.

You wouldn’t get to see your nephew get older. You must’ve been crushed. Wonwoo had seen and heard how much you loved him, and now you probably wouldn’t be able to even see him before you passed because you didn’t want to traumatize him.

“Wonwoo?” You asked again.

“Yes?”

He couldn’t imagine you having to watch your sister get everything you’d ever wanted knowing you’d never get it yourself. And he just knew the guilt of being upset with the situation and feeling jealous of your sister killed you.

Everytime he saw you even blink, he’d seriously wonder how you were still able to hold yourself together, how you could still act so fine even when you must’ve been hurting so much.

“Can you- can you watch out for her when I’m gone?” You quipped, quickly explaining yourself so you didn’t seem completely crazy to the guy you had been head over heels for since the second you met him, “I know- I know it’s a lot to ask… but i don’t have anyone else here. She’ll only have San and Channie when- when I’m gone,” you stuttered, trying to remain composed so you wouldn’t move and so you wouldn’t completely break down, “Can you just make sure she’s okay every now and then for me? I’m sorry to ask, really, but I keep having nightmares about what’s gonna happen to her when I’m gone and I- I just need to make sure she’ll be alright.”

You wouldn’t get to have the love Wonwoo could’ve offered you. You’d never get the relationship you would’ve wanted with him. You’d never get the wedding you would’ve been dreaming of your whole life. You’d never get married life you envisioned with him. You’d never get the boat load of kids Wonwoo was sure you’d want. You’d never get any of it.

You didn’t even know you were his mate. And now as he held your hands in your hospital room, he could see that, in your eyes, you thought you had nothing now, that you’d lost anything you’d ever had.

He wanted to tell you that with him by your side you had everything. That he’d do anything for you if he could just to see your gorgeous smile. But he couldn’t.

It was best you wouldn’t know you were his mate. You wouldn’t have to live the remainder of your days knowing that when you’d die, he’d probably die right along with you when it wasn’t your fault. He didn’t want you to have even more weight pushed onto your already weakened shoulders. So all he could do was answer your question in the way he knew you’d be praying he would.

“I promise ______. I’ll watch out for her. You don’t need to worry alright?” Wonwoo responded with a single tear glistening down his chiseled face, letting you squeeze his hands even hard when the doctor began doing something else with the needle in your back.

-

Over the next 2 weeks, you stunned your doctors as your condition continued to get better. You could walk around without getting out of breath, you could keep solid food down (something you were BEYOND happy about), and your vitals were more stable than they had ever been.

The doctors, the nurses, everybody expected you to be dead at that point, yet you were still laying in your hospital bed laughing up a storm with whatever nurse or medical professional that had come in to check on you.

Your sister was ecstatic, she kept insisting that it was a miracle and that she knew you’d get better. You just smiled and nodded with her as she went on about her day to you, but inside all you could think about was how miracles weren’t real.

That no matter how much medicine they pumped into your veins and shot through your arms, you’d never really ever get better. You weren’t one to get your hopes up, even if you wished with every fiber of your being that it would be true. You knew it was only a matter of time. Everyone’s sand in their hour glass stops running eventually.

You had some light in your dark life though. Wonwoo made sure to keep coming back to see you. Each visit he’d stay for almost the entirety of the hospitals visiting hours. He’d always find some way to cheer you up, whether it be playing a game of ‘get to know each other’ or just him simply reading you one of his favorite books till you dozed off to sleep. He always made your day.

Though he had just started to miss your visits two days ago.

But it was probably best he wasn’t around you as you had a seizure that same night and had to be rushed to an operating room so they could clip a newly formed aneurysm they had only just then discovered in your head. They barely found it in time, but they found it in time nonetheless.

He told you the day before that it was finals week so he would have to study more and he wouldn’t be able to get to see you as much for a while. You didn’t mind, you missed him sure, but you were glad he was in school.

You could tell how happy his classes made him, plus you definitely knew you’d want to be in school if you could’ve been. So you couldn’t really blame him. He wasn’t even obligated to come visit you anyways. You were just his friend’s mate’s little sister.

The doctors decided to start you on chemotherapy right away though to stop your cancer from spreading and progressing as much as possible. But of course it still did.

You were in your hospital room speaking with your sister about your nephew’s newest phase: dino figures, when it happened.

You started getting dizzy like you had the day Wonwoo had taken you to the hospital so you excused yourself to the bathroom. You threw up and went to wash your hands and brush your teeth as was usual now thanks to your new aggressive regimen, but you noticed a stray hair still semi attached to you head.

So naturally you pulled on it to get it off and throw it away. But just as you pulled your hand away and rung it over your trash can, you screeched when you were met with a fairly decent sized chunk of your normally thick black hair lumped together instead of a random stray thread.

Your sister immediately ran into the bathroom to see why you were shrieking and that’s where she caught your now sobbing body before it hit the floor. The doctors told you it would probably happen. That the medication was basically toxic to parts of your body like your hair. They told you hair loss happened to most people on it, but that everyone reacted differently to it as well.

You were hoping after three days that maybe you were the lucky few. You were praying you were really. Being sick never really had any affect on your mental health either. Sure you’d get sad, but you still had your confidence so you were okay, till then.

Your hair was very important to you. In your culture, it was a part of you. Not in a way of vanity or a way of beauty, but in a way that signified that you were born just the way you were meant to be. And when you saw it begin to fall out, you lost it.

Your sister understood immediately and she did what she could to comfort you, but it was a direct hit to your livelihood. Your hair was part of your identity and it was breaking off in chunks. Just like how your cancer was slowly overtaking you. It sent you spiraling. You couldn’t help it.

The doctor said that there was a chance you could help slow the hair fall out by cutting it shorter thus keeping the weight off. So that’s what you did. You had your sister cut your originally knee length hair to a long pixie cut/incredibly short bob with a pair of dull scissors from the nurses desk that they loaned you for the job.

Your energy was leaving you, just like your smile. Just like your self worth and identity. Everyone could see it that day, but no one had the heart to say it out loud.

As you hugged your sister goodnight for the day, you requested one thing from her: Please don’t let Wonwoo visit.

“But why?” She asked, severely confused as to why you didn’t want someone who made you as happy as he did around.

“I don’t want him to see me like this. I’m practically bald. He- he doesn’t need to see me so… so broken. I don’t think i could take it if he came to visit me.”

-

Omi couldn’t lie, seeing you so broken down made her get in her car and wail. You had always been so happy, even when your life had been miserable. You had always made the best of it all. But now you didn’t even want your mate to see you.

Sure you didn’t know that’s who Wonwoo really was to you, but you must’ve really given up if you didn’t want someone you felt that strongly for around. Now she just… had to break it to him, an act which she knew would be hard.

“Hey Wonwoo,” Omi announced as she lightly knocked on his partially opened door, “Do you have a minute?”

Wonwoo turned around in his place at his dresser to face her and smiled, “Yeah sure. But just one, i finally finished my finals so I can actually go see _____ today!” He chirped, very obviously happy at the fact that he could actually see his beloved mate after days apart.

Omi could see how much the distance between you both had affected him. His eyes regained deep bags she hadn’t seen since before he started visiting you. They were also bloodshot and his face was paler than normal. He had this… sadness and exhaustion about him.

It was evident being away from you was eating him up inside. And now, she was gonna make it that much worse by relaying your request.

“A-About that… _____ said that she- that she doesn’t want you to visit her anymore…”

Wonwoo jerked in surprise, nearly dropping the water bottle in his hand to the floor, “W-What? What do you mean she- she doesn’t want me to visit her anymore?”

He was caught completely off guard. He was planning on visiting you that day. He had missed you so much already, even though it had only been two or three days since he had last seen you.

Hearing your sister say such a thing out loud seemed to upset him to his core as suddenly, he felt like a ton of bricks was setting on his chest. It was a fast sharp almost unbearable pain he hadn’t ever felt before. But he did his best to push it off so he could hear the rest of what your sister was saying.

Omi then went on to explain what had happened over the last few days. You hadn’t messaged Wonwoo about it because you didn’t want him to worry.

You thought that stupid surge of energy was finally failing you and you didn’t want to have to break it to him. You weren’t even sure how upset he’d be about your upcoming death, but you knew you didn’t have the heart to break it to him yourself.

“So she doesn’t want to see me because what? She has a haircut she doesn’t like?” Wonwoo was hurt.

He loved you and he thought… well he thought you had begun to love him. But now you wanted him gone and to never see him again because they had to cut your hair? He knew you’d die eventually, he wasn’t an idiot.

But he told himself he’d at least have until that day with you. The small visits he was allowed to have with you, the simple text messages back and forth between you two, the thought that he’d at least get to be with you until you died, it all kept him going.

Now you wanted to keep living and not even allow him the ability to see you? How could he stand to be on an earth where you were dying and he wasn’t able to be there to hold your hand everyday? How could he ever be able to function everyday knowing you were still miraculously alive but he wouldn’t be allowed to see you?

The soreness in his chest was beginning to radiate heavier and heavier within his body the more and more he thought of you.

What was going on? Was he feeling some type of rejection because you decided you didn’t want to see him? He couldn’t have been. You never told him to his face you didn’t want him. Relaying a message surely wouldn’t do anything without you actually speaking to him personally, right?

Omi shook her head slowly at him, “It’s not about the cutting of it Wonu, it’s about her not feeling like her anymore. She doesn’t want anyone to see her so… unlike herself before she… you know,” But he didn’t know.

Did you really think he wouldn’t love you no matter what you looked like? Hair or no hair you were still the most beautiful girl in the world to him. Did you really peg him for someone so shallow and superficial?

Wonwoo hunched over and clutched his torso as he had felt another pain smash into his heart, much to both his and your sister’s shock. She ran over and gripped his forearm in an attempt to steady him. But it didn’t matter.

It was his job to make you happy and feel comfortable with yourself. So it really didn’t matter what you said, he was gonna be there with you. He didn’t care what was happening. He didn’t even care if he had to watch you die. He just wanted to spend every precious moment you had left together.

Before he could actually respond to your sister, her cell phone started ringing causing her to answer it.

And what she did, her face almost immediately dropped, “I’m on my way!”

Wonwoo was looking at Omi expectantly as she hung up the call she had just taken. It wasn’t until a few moments of silence passed the he gained enough courage to ask what he wanted to ask while praying to any god listening that his thoughts about what the call was about were wrong, “W- What’s going on…?”

Her big watery eyes told him everything he needed to know.

“________.”

-

He didn’t know that’s what he was feeling. His heart was beating so hard, he should’ve guessed immediately that something was wrong with you. He was too busy being offended that you had asked him not to go see you to understand what his instincts were trying to tell him: you were dying.

When Wonwoo and Omi got to the hospital, they had a tube down your throat. Everything seemed to blur out for him as the doctor explained to your sister that you went into sudden cardiac arrest.

He thought he could see your sister fall to the ground in tears out of the corner of his eyes, but he wasn’t too sure. He wasn’t focused on her like he was you.

All he could see was your discolored beautiful face sleeping on a bed that smelled like it had been freshly sanitized. All Wonwoo would hear at that point was your heart rate on the heart monitor beginning to slow.

You were so peaceful. minus the breathing machine keeping you alive that is. He could’ve swore you were about to just pop your little sparkly cheery eyes open to greet him any second like you usually did.

It wasn’t real… it couldn’t be real… You were fine..

His heart felt as if it were tearing in two while someone kept body slamming him to the ground over and over again. Tears had begun to form at his water lines as the doctor’s voice seemed to catch Wonwoo’s attention.

He was just about to come see you before your sister stopped him

“There’s no chance of her survival at this point. It’s best everyone say their goodbyes and you prepare yourselves for what’s to come.”

Why did she have to stop him?

Your sister managed to compose herself enough to listen to the doctor and stand against a nurse as she signed some of your paperwork. She hadn’t even realized that Wonwoo had stepped fully into your room.

Why couldn’t she have ignored your wishes and let him have a final moment with you?

Once inside, Wonwoo all but threw himself at your bedside, begging you not to go, to stay with him. Though Omi felt for her friend, she couldn’t just let him fall apart in the hospital, even if she wanted to do the same exact thing.

“Come on Wonu…” Your soft spoken sister said as she raised her hand and sat it on his broad shoulder, “We should go tell the others… They’ll want to see her too before…” The phrasing of her sentence hurt Wonwoo in the pit of his stomach.

No. You weren’t gonna die today. He couldn’t lose you, not yet. Not when he very literally just found you. He couldn’t.

“Don’t say it! She’ll be okay!” He sobbed as he held onto your cold hand while listening to the machines around you steadily beeping.

He didn’t even get to say goodbye to you because he was so busy focusing on his stupid finals. It wasn’t your sister’s fault, it was his own fault.

She knelt down to his level, trying her est not to break out in a full on panic as well, “But Wonu… This isn’t what she’d want. She’d want the others here too. We need to go get them.”

God, why did he had to give a shit about his stupid finals. He could’ve always retaken a class, he couldn’t get back time with you once you were gone.

“I’m not leaving her! I’ll never leave her again!” He all but shouted at your sister.

She knew he didn’t mean it in a viscous way. He was in an unbearable amount of pain at the loss of his mate. She knew she was your sister and that you were her family, but even though losing you would make her feel like she was dying, she wouldn’t actually die without you. Wonwoo would. She knew she’d be just as devastated if she lost Channie.

“Okay. I- I’ll go get them and you- you can stay here with her okay?” She asked in her mom voice, the only voice the boys really knew she spoke with at that point.

And with that, she gave you a small peck on your frozen cheek before she took her leave to get the others.

“I won’t leave you,” Wonwoo whispered into your hand as he leaned in and cried, “I’ll never leave your side again.”

-

Throughout the hours, the doctors all insisted that you’d be dead. But as the clock kept ticking, so did your heart.

In fact, you seemed… relatively stable. Sure you were still unconscious, but your vitals were all the same and you were still breathing even without the ventilator down your throat. They had taken it out as a way to give you some sort of comfort of dying in peace but to their surprise, your body didn’t seem to need it anymore anyways.

“Why isn’t she dead yet?” Mingyu whispered to his brother so his mournful one in the next room couldn’t hear.

Of course his brother could still hear him. But Wonwoo didn’t care. He knew he didn’t mean it maliciously. He didn’t even care about anything else other than you at that moment anyways.

“I don’t know,” Jeonghan shrugged his shoulders, “Maybe it’s just not her time.” He suggested, just as dumbfounded at you being alive still as the rest of his pack.

“It doesn’t make any sense though.” Hao thought aloud, “She should be dead already, right? That’s what the doctors keep saying at least. So why is she still breathing?”

That’s when the usually quiet Sam hummed for a moment from Seungchel’s lap before she spoke out, “Well I know I’m pretty new to this…” She stopped herself before she could out all the boys as wolves, “-whole thing, but maybe, well I don’t know… maybe it’s the pull.” She offered the explanation to the others, also semi-wondering if that’s possible.

“What?” Seungcheol questioned her as he tightened his grip on her small waist.

Her voice became a bit less confident as she notice more and more of the boys began to pay attendtion to her, but she still wanted to get her idea across, “Well I mean… Cheol was telling me that being around your… girlfriend can help keep you guys… alive when you’re hurt right? What if… What if it’s working the same way for her?”

“But how would that even be possible?” Soonyoung quipped, “She’s not one of us.” He reminded the mate quickly.

“I know that…” Sam said in a duh tone, “But the boys in her family are, right? So what if it’s still in her blood? What if that part of her is keeping her alive the same way it would keep you guys alive just because she has a connection to it?” Sam countered.

Wonwoo was listening to the whole conversation from his spot next to your bed in your room opposite your sister and Chan. The younger wolf was listening in too and, almost in sync, the two boys looked each other in the eyes as both you and your sister slept softly. Could that be why you were hanging on? Because Wonwoo was right there holding your hand?

What do you think? Wonwoo used his connection to his brother to ask him through their thoughts so they wouldn’t wake your sister up from her much needed slumber.

I don’t know Hyung. It does make a bit of sense. Channie backed him, She does seem to feel better when you’re around. But if it worked for her the same way it worked for us, that would mean that being away from you for long periods of time would’ve made her worse.

No. Wonwoo refused. That would mean him being at school is what killed you. That would mean him leaving you alone for those few days is what was killing you. No.

But Hyung, it makes sense. Everytime you leave her alone for a few hours, she starts to feel sick again. You might be what’s keeping her alive.

I’d be what was killing her, Wonwoo reminded the pup, I could never do that.

It wouldn’t be your fault Hyung, it’s just how wolf life works. She may not be one, but it’s in her blood. Maybe being around you could keep her alive. Chan insinuated, something Wonwoo just huffed at in annoyance.

Could it be true? Could him being around you be keeping you breathing? That would mean him being away from you for those few days was the reason your health started to go south. Could fate really be that cruel to you? Could it really have been true?

Wonwoo began a serious thought process throughout the rest of the day about whether or not his brothers were right. Towards the end of it, his eyes began to get droopy and his thoughts began to get drowsy until eventually, he drifted off to dreamland.

-

“And I thought it was super scary because I had never seen anything that big before, but then-” He heard a voice echo throughout his head. He began to stir slightly in place.

He must’ve been imagining it, but it sounded like- it REALLY sounded like-

“That’s when I all but hightailed it back home to get the Omi and my brothers so they could deal with it and I could hide under my bed!” A roar of laughter followed.

________? Was that really you speaking?

Wonwoo pulled himself out of his deep slumber to finally find the source of the angelic voice he was hearing and darted his eyes open.

“Oh Woo, good! You’re awake! Did you sleep okay?” You questioned him as you began to play with his messy hair in your lap, a weaker smiled plastered on your face.

“_______? Is that really you?” He spoke in complete disbelief as he jumped from his spot of lying down from your lap to holding your delicate face between his two giant hands to check and make sure his hands wouldn’t phase right through you.

You giggled your little sweet chuckle, “Of course it’s me silly? Who else were you expecting to see in my hospital room?” You snickered, a few of his brothers joining in at their brother’s cluelessness.

“Oh my god! _______, you’re alive!” He exclaimed as he threw his arms around you in an almost soul crushing hug.

You couldn’t lie, the hug was a bit much for your very frail body, but you wrapped your arms around him to return the hug because you had missed him a lot.

“I though you were gone!” He whimpered into the hospital gown on your boney shoulder, “I thought you were gonna die.”

“Well I’m all here and breathing Woo. It must’ve been you, I told you I always seem to feel better when you’re around,” You only half joked to him as you savored every second of having him close to you, as if he would be taken away from you any minute.

He quickly pulled away and gently grabbed your face and brought you in for a chaste kiss on the lips in front of all your friends and your sister, causing a blush to form on your tired cheeks before the kiss was even over.

The boys began a series of taunts and teasing at Wonwoo, something that made him a little embarrassed of his sudden move. But he didn’t care.

He had you back. You were back and you were breathing and you were talking and that’s all he could ever ask for.

“A- Are you feeling okay?“ He asked you softly as he cleared his throat, trying his best to tune out the hum of his brothers and their stupid remarks.

You lightly bobbed your head up and down, “Yeah I’m okay. I’m starving though. Anyone have anything to eat?” You gestured to the family around you before your doctor walked through your door looking absolutely starstruck to see you.

“_________! I can’t believe it. They told me you were awake. But i fully expected to come into this room with you still in a coma! H- How are you awake?” He got closer to you and grabbed your chart off the foot of the bed to check your status.

“I don’t know doc. But can I get a sandwich or something? I’m hungry.” You hurriedly informed him, causing the boys to once again break out in laughter.

“Unbelievable,” The doctor said under his breath, “She was dead all of a few hours ago and now here she is sitting straight up without any support asking for food…” He finished, “Yes Ms. _____. I think we can manage to find you something to eat. I’ll inform the nurse so she can have the cafeteria send something up.”

And with that, he walked out of your room and left you all alone, closing the door behind him thankfully. It left you all the opportunity to speak more freely.

“So _______, now that you’re alive, are you and Wonwoo gonna be like… a thing now or are you two just gonna play dumb till you both drop dead?” Jihoon iterated to you, leaving both you and Wonwoo stunned while everyone else got their rocks off on your nervousness.

You knew Jihoon would never say anything purposefully mean, so you didn’t take it as that. But you basically just got your feeling for a guy outed before you had even recovered from your near death experience. Shit was rough.

“Well I-I don’t know… I’m just… here in my hospital bed. Everything that happens outside of it is not up to me.” You decided, attempting to save yourself the humiliation of having to actually answer Jihoon’s question.

“Okaaaaaaay. BUT technically what you and Wonwoo would be doing a lot would be ON a bed. So that’s gotta mean something right?” Soonyoung sneered, causing your new beaming sister to smack his arm in disgust.

“Eww Soonyoung, Don’t be gross! She’s still my baby sister you know!” Omi reminded him by fake scolding him.

The older wolf let out a small chuckle, “Yeah I know, but she COULD be WONWOO’S baby if he wasn’t such a damn wimp about it!”

“Hey! What do you know! Just because you haven’t found your mate yet doesn’t mean you get to pick on me for how I deal with mine!” Wonwoo’s growled as his jaw tightened.

Instead of the room filling with it’s same laughter as before, it went dead silent at Wonwoo’s remark.

“Wait…” You paused them, causing Wonwoo to actually think about the words that had just slipped out of his mouth and making him mentally face palm himself, “What- What mate? You have a mate? Since when? Who?”

“Uh Oh!”

“Damn”

“So close Wonu”

“Good luck with that one!”

The pack chimed in little ‘you done fucked ups’ to the now seriously embarrassed and statue still boy.

“Well!” Seungcheol pulled Sam off his lap lovingly with a shit eating grin on his face and stretched, “I believe it’s time we give the two knuckleheads some time to chat alone. It seems they have a lot to talk about,” He winked before he began ushering the other’s outside the hospital door to no doubt begin their journey home.

“It was nice seeing you ______! We’re glad to see you doing better and we’ll come see you again soon!” He finally waved as he pushed your begrudging sister out and shut the door, leaving you and Wonwoo all alone.

-

“So I’m your… mate?” You clarified slowly, almost like he was trying to teach you another language and you were trying to repeat the syllables back to him correctly, “Like actual mate? The kind where you’re attached to the hip and never wanna be apart type of mate? Like what Omi says she is to Chan?”

“Well… Yeah… That’s- That’s basically it. I imprinted on you a while so and I… I didn’t know how to tell you. Then when I actually WANTED to tell you I thought too much time had passed to tell you, so I didn’t. But I… I love you and you’re my mate.” He finished, nervously playing with your hand he was holding as he tried not to look you in the eye.

You stayed silent for a bit longer than he was hoping you would, so he gazed back up to look at you only to find your eyes glossy and your cheeks red, “W- What’s wrong ______? I know I fucked up but I- I didn’t think you’d be this upset with me…” He trailed as he brought his hand up to stroke your cheek, an act that you flinched at causing his inner wolf to whimper.

“Why me?” You asked quietly, “Why- Why would it be me? I’m sick and I’m broken? I look like this for Heaven’s sakes” You gestured to your outward sickly appearance, “I’m a mess and I’m terrible and cancerous. I barely even have any hair left! I’m supposed to die. It shouldn’t be me. Pick someone else for your own sake!” You sobbed as you pulled your hand back and brought both to your face to hide your hot white tears.

“What?” Wonwoo whispered, “No _____. Firstly it doesn’t work that way. I can’t control it anymore than you can. And secondly,” He reaches to lift your chin up, an act that was successful, “How could you ever even think that? I love you just the way you are. I don’t care if you’re sick, it just makes our time together that much more special. And I dont care if being sick means you lose your hair. I think you’re beautiful no matter what. You’re so sweet and kind and funny. You have no idea how happy I am that i got you as a mate.”

You looked to him with tears eyes as you tried your best to contain some insecurities you knew deep down were ridiculous for his sake, “So you’re saying that you’d love me no matter what?”

“Yes _______. No matter what.” He swore to you and kissed your ode to brighten up your mood.

“Even if I was a worm?” You giggled to break the tension as you wiped some salty water away from your face and began to cheer up.

“Yes my love, even if you were a worm.” He laughed at your nonsense before you asked him to sit up in your bed and cuddle you.

As you drifted off without a care in the world, Wonwoo’s mind wouldn’t stop racing. He’d finally told you you were his. And he was now yours. Now you had each other and now he’d be able to be with you without worrying about scaring you off or something happening to you.

He’d explain about the mate pull and how it was helping you later when you were stronger. For now, he was just glad he had you in his arms and out of danger. For now.

(Updated 10/30/2022)

[yehet-about-it]

Chase Me | Part 17 - Lock The Door Next Time

⇐ || ☆ Masterlist ☆ || ⇒

🎮👾 ~ The Boyz Social Media AU ~ 👾🎮

"Twitching" is a British term used to mean "the pursuit of a previously located rare bird." In North America it is more often called chasing...

Pairings: Changmin x Reader, Sunwoo x Reader

Warnings: 17+, language, some smut in later chapters, fuckboy!sunwoo 😉

Updates Tuesday, Thursday, Saturday & Sunday @ 9pm GMT/1pm PST

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Word Count: 3.1k (I am SO sorry... although I'm kind of not bc I lowkey love this chapter) Warnings: Mature content, may involve maStUrBaTioN, a whole lot of embarrassment and Chanhee having the time of his goddamn life bc its not him in the awkward situation for once 🙃

You sighed, dropping your unreasonably heavy camera bag on the table as you walked into the living room, Chanhee in close pursuit looking equally as tired. You’d spent several long hours at a shoot for a new project you’d been hired to do and had come back to the boys’ apartment to do some editing before you called it quits for the day.

“Should we order food now?” You called out as Chanhee went to his room to unload his gear and fetch his macbook for editing. You knew you needed to work but you hadn’t eaten since the morning and you couldn’t stop the thoughts of takeout food swirling around in your head. “Mm, the Chinese?” Chanhee replied sitting down across the table. “Can you go and ask Changmin if he wants anything while I set this up? He’s probably in his room.”

You nodded happily, perking up at the prospect of food and left Chanhee to upload the photos from the day whilst you went off in search of Changmin. He wasn’t in their gaming room as you walked by so you continued down the corridor towards his room. As you neared his door you could hear a murmur, and coming to a stop outside the room you recognised your name being called by Changmin, only it was ever so quiet, barely audible through the wood of the door, so you figured maybe it was just him registering your presence. Assuming he’d realised you were there, you swung the door open not quite expecting the scene that was presented before you. Changmin was sat on his bed, propped up against the pillows with his lips parted, hair hanging low in front of his eyes, and scanning further down you saw that his sweatpants were bunched low on his hips as his hand gripped what appeared to be a very hard erection. You let out a shriek as you realised what you had stumbled upon, immediately slamming the door back shut and racing down the corridor before Changmin even had chance to react.

“Oh my god, oh my god.” You repeated it like a mantra, your heart pounding from the shock as you slid back into the living room and into your chair opposite New. “What the hell’s wrong with you?” Chanhee asked in bewilderment looking at you as though you’d just committed the 7 deadly sins. “I should have knocked!” you squeaked burying your face in your palms in total, unfathomed embarrassment. You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself, but the image of Changmin’s hand wrapped snugly around his length, pleasuring himself as he uttered your name was well and truly burned into your brain.

“What? Why?” Chanhee asked, a puzzled expression forming from his features. “He- oh my word- he was- touchi- Ugh I can’t say it!” you whined. “He wasn’t…? Oh my god...” Eventually realising what had happened, a hysterical fit of laughter erupted from your best friends throat as you hid behind your hands, your cheeks most definitely flushed with the brightest pink. “Oh my god that idiot” Chanhee cackled, tears starting to form in the corners of his eyes from the sheer force of his laughter. You sank down in your chair a pained smile on your face as you couldn’t help but be affected by Chanhee’s reaction. “Chanhee what am I gonna do? I’ll never be able to look him in the eye again!” You wailed, the howling starting to dye down as Chanhee regained his composure. “Not my problem” Chanhee teased. “I’ll make it your problem” you replied stroppily, whacking him lightly on the arm in annoyance. “Ow!” Chanhee clutched his arm in feigned pain before proceeding to laugh at you once again. “It’s not funny Chanhee! This is so awkward!”

You had by now gotten over the initial shock of seeing one of your longest friends exposed like that, and now you were wondering how the hell you were gonna get over the awkwardness of the situation. But most of all, you were wondering why the hell he’d been moaning your name of all names and what that meant. Not that you were going to mention that to New. That would open a whole new can of worms and lead this conversation down a whole new road that you didn’t particularly want to explore, as well as give Chanhee even more ammunition for further teasing.

“That’s exactly why it IS funny.” Chanhee chided, whipping his phone out, presumably either to tease Changmin or get the Chinese menu up, or both. “Guess he won’t be joining us for the Chinese then?” You rolled your eyes at Chanhee’s teasing (though also legitimate) question. “Well it’s not like I stuck around to ask.” You crossed your arms as you gave Chanhee a warning glare. “Fine, I’ll ask him then.” He said, and your phone lit up on the table a moment later – of course he’d mentioned it in your group chat.

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Changmin had heard Chanhee’s cackling from his room at the other end of the apartment and had been mentally cursing for the duration, his face perhaps an even brighter shade of scarlet than yours. Of all of the awkward things to happen, the girl he liked and one of his best friends walking in while he was halfway to climax thinking about her had to be the most unfortunate. Firstly there was the problem of how he’d ever look you in the eye again, but secondly was the problem that remained below his waistline. You walking in hadn’t helped that of course. If it had been Chanhee or Kevin walking in, his stiffness would have gone in a split second, but despite the embarrassment of what had just happened, his length remained taut against his boxers which he’d quickly pulled back up in shock after your momentary appearance. He was no longer in the mood to continue, too worried about what you might be thinking, so he decided his only option was to go for a cold shower in the hope that that might fix it.

Before he had the chance to hop in however, his phone buzzed, showing a text from New. He groaned as he read the older boys words, knowing that he’d never live this down whining again when he realised the texts were sent not just to him but to your group chat. Thankfully Changmin had already eaten, although he wouldn’t mind a bit of Chinese, but given the current awkwardness he decided to pass up on the offer for food. He would probably be able to face you later but if he ordered food he’d have to sit with you to eat it, and the embarrassment was stilll far too fresh for that to be a comfortable affair, so he quickly typed out his reply and hopped in the shower to deal with the problem beneath his pants.

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An hour or so later you and Chanhee had just about finished your editing for the day and were tucking into your food, but you still hadn’t heard a peep out of Changmin. You sighed, finishing your bowl of jajangmyeon, feeling a little guilty that Changmin wasn’t sharing in the joys of your takeout food, all because you’d been dumb enough not to knock. “Hm maybe I should take him something” you sighed looking across all the cartons of food you’d ordered. Maybe he had actually eaten already, but there was so much, and you were sure he’d like some. “You’re not going to eat all that are you?” You asked Chanhee, nodding to the half full box of kkanpunggi in the middle. Chanhee just shrugged. “You sure you want to go back in there?” He sniggered as he asked the question, deliberately trying to provoke you. “No I am not, but I’m not going to avoid him forever just because I’ve seen his dick” you declared defiantly, making Chanhee almost spit out his boba as he doubled over in laughter. However awkward you were feeling, you’d have to face each other eventually. Normally you wouldn’t be so thrown off by something like this, for instance, you’d once accidentally walked in on Kevin going at it with someone one time when you’d stayed over at Sunwoo’s, but you’d just greeted it with an ew and laughed about it later. The only thing that had you feeling so utterly flustered was the sound of him uttering your name whilst he was clearly having some ‘time to himself’, but since you figured he wouldn’t necessarily be aware you’d heard that, you decided you’d be able to brush it off for now and pretend like everything was just peachy.

“Well just remember to knock this time” Chanhee quipped as you stood up, taking the box of spicy garlic fried chicken with you, picking up some of the spare chopsticks the restaurant had sent too. You grinned sarcastically at Chanhee, your eyes silently telling him he was an asshole, before disappearing off down the hall to Changmin’s room, praying that he’d be fully tucked into his pants this time. “Changmin? Can I come in?” you called as you knocked tentatively on his door. You heard some shuffling and low muttering before he answered with an uncertain “sure”.

Swinging the door open for the second time this evening you were relieved to see Changmin perched on his bed, fully clothed with an xbox controller in his lap and his headset to the side of him. You saw the overwatch character select screen flickering brightly on his tv screen too so you could only assume he was playing online with someone. “Oh you’re playing? Who’s on?” you asked quietly as you walked a couple of steps into the room, the carton of kkanpunggi still in hand. “Uh, just Eric.” Changmin replied, his eyes darting around the room as he struggled to make eye contact with you, for understandable reasons. “Hi Eric!” You sang loudly so he could hear you through the microphone. Though it was quiet, only coming from Changmin’s headset you heard a faint chuckle and Eric’s voice returning the greeting. “I brought you some kkanpunggi, I thought you might like some, it’s really good” you said, turning your attention back to the boy actually in the room.

Changmin’s expression softened watching as you stood there, proudly holding up the box of chicken and chopsticks. Even after what happened you were still thoughtful enough to bring him nice food so he wouldn’t miss out. What he wouldn’t give to be able to just pull you onto his lap and feed one other the delicious food, cleaning up any stray sauce with kisses. In his dreams he thought.

“Awh how come he gets chicken?” Eric whined through the headphones pulling Changmin out of his daydream. “KEVIN-HYUNG CAN WE GET CHICKEN?!” The sudden loudness of the younger boy through the headphones made you giggle, and you shared an amused look with Changmin. As bizarre as it was though, you were rather grateful for Eric’s random inputs which actually seemed to have the effect of relieving some of the tension in the room.

“Yah be quiet! I’m not even wearing my headphones and that hurt my ears!” Changmin called towards his headset shutting the younger boy up with an insincere sorry. “Oh it smells good, thank you y/n!” Changmin smiled sweetly at you as you placed the box down on the side table next to his bed. “That’s okay!” You replied, moving a few steps away again before looking nervously towards Changmin’s headset. You wanted to apologise for your earlier intrusion to get it out of the way, but you definitely didn’t want Eric to be witness to that, so you lowered your voice to a whisper. “Oh um, so I’ll be leaving in a bit, I just wanted to say sorry for earlier, I um- I should probably have knocked before I came in.”

Changmin could feel the heat rising in his cheeks being reminded of the earlier incident and although his hair mostly covered it, the tips of his ears were now definitely a blazing pink. “Oh-“ He was frankly a little stuck for words. He’d been sat in his room for the better part of an hour rehearsing what he might say to you in his head, but now you’d come in here to apologise, with chicken no less, he didn’t really have an answer for you. “Uh- it’s okay,” he mumbled. “Sorry you had to see that.”

Before it could get too awkward however, you snickered as you heard Eric and Kevin clearly having an argument about chicken faintly through the headphones still laying next to Changmin and you thanked your lucky stars that they evidently weren’t listening to you and Changmin’s awkward exchange. “Well I promise I’ll knock next time.” Changmin chuckled, running a hand sheepishly through his hair as you moved back toward the door. “I’ll let you get back to the game if those two ever stop arguing, I’ll see you later yeah?”

Changmin nodded and said goodbye as you slipped out to return to the dining table where New sat, a mischievous glint in his eye as he grinned at you. “On a scale of 1 to Eric talking to girls, just how awkward was he?” He asked, clearly trying to stifle his laughter. “Shut up New” you scoffed as you began picking up the empty food cartons to throw in the trash. This little shit was gonna milk this out for as long as possible and you weren’t here for it. “Well at least you didn’t scream and run out this time” he bantered, only to be met with a look of pure contempt from you as he passed you one of the empty food containers. “I am this close to pouring this black bean sauce all over that new balenciaga t-shirt Chanhee” you threatened holding out a carton that had the remains of some sauce wobbling about in the bottom. Chanhee jumped back covering his shirt with his hands, knowing that it wasn’t an empty threat from another time he’d pissed you off and you threw half a cup of peach tea all over him. It was a waste of the tea, but he’d had it coming. “That’s what I thought.” You proclaimed before disappearing into the kitchen to dispose of the containers.

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On your way home your head was filled with all kinds of thoughts about what you’d unintentionally just witnessed. All you really wanted to do was relax after a long day of work and carrying heavy equipment around, but all you could think about was your name on Changmin’s lips and what the hell it meant. Was it just an accident? Or if it wasn’t, did that confirm everything that Kevin had been telling you? Did Changmin really like you? There had been an undeniable vibe between you for the past few weeks, what with the increasing amount of time you spent together and the intimate moment on the roof last night, but until this weekend, you hadn’t thought about it much, your mind largely preoccuppied with your anger towards Sunwoo.

Your mind flipped through your memories with Changmin as you sat on the tube, trying to make sense of everything, and as you did so, it dawned on you. Kevin was right. Changmin liked you. Perhaps that was even what he had tried to tell you the previous night before Jeju had abruptly cut him off. You recalled all the times Changmin had sat with you and listened to you rant about Sunwoo, the way he’d been so angry the day after that one fateful party, and how he’d always been there waiting for you with a hug when you were down. It was a wonder you’d never realised it before. Perhaps Changmin’s warm presence in your life had just become so natural you never thought anything of it, but it was becoming increasingly clear that this wasn’t just two friends looking out for eachother. No, it was more than that.

You felt a heat in your chest as you processed this revelation, trying to make sense of your own feelings. You adored Changmin, but then who didn’t? The way his dimples made him look like the sweetest angel whenever he smiled, the way his eyes lit up whenever he discovered something really interesting, the way he couldn’t stop himself from giggling even at the most inappropriate moments. It was impossible not to like him. But then not everybody knew him like you. They didn’t have your relationship. Changmin had always been there for you, even though it was Chanhee you called your best friend and Sunwoo he called his. He always seemed to know exactly what you needed – when to give you space, when to give you hugs or when to make you laugh so hard you cried. Upon reflection, there was no one who came close to making you feel as happy and comfortable as Changmin did. You couldn’t think of a single occasion he hadn’t made you smile and you slowly began to realise… Was it possible… that you liked him too?

Then the thoughts of Sunwoo swarmed your mind. Did he know Changmin was into you? No of course not. They weren’t on the best of terms right now but you imagined it would be a hell of a lot worse if he did know his best friend was infatuated with his ex-girlfriend. If anything were to happen between you and Changmin, Sunwoo would be outraged for certain. But maybe that was what he deserved. He’d lost the right to an opinion on your life when he tried to get back with you by sleeping with you when you were drunk. Although perhaps falling for his best friend was a little far…

You leaned your head back against the glass of the subway train, sighing as your mind replayed the memory of Changmin’s breathless expression as his hand gripped his manhood. You kind of wished it would stop, not wanting the embarrassment of getting so worked up in public, but you just couldn’t tear your thoughts away from it. After your newfound revelation, you were getting dangerously close to imagining what had been happening before you walked in, and what sort of things he might have been thinking of doing – you nearly missed your stop in your dazed state but thankfully the announcement pulled you out of your thoughts and you rushed to the doors just in time to hop off before they closed and the train sped off into the distance, away from you and your insurmountable dilemma.

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Taglist: @lovelymultiwrites @shiberrysan @m4rshm4llow @softforqiankun @sktbzc0re @staysstrays @softyfor-sweaterpaws @glxwingstar @chiefturtlebonkghost @faiirybread @lolibaaae @younggwingss @sunqnew @winterbeartaehyungbestboy @mx23 @bbangsoonie @seokgyuu @ateez-babygirl

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[vanilla107]

Five Minutes of Sunset

Before the Curse of Sarah Fier series

Summary:

 “We meeting after? Same spot? Sam gonna be there?” she asked, and Deena nodded.

“Simon too. He said he got us discounted food!” Kate said excitedly.

“I hope you know that means that the food is about to expire,” Deena said, deadpanned.

“Whatever! Food is food and I’m not going to turn down chicken wings and all the candy bars I can eat.” ~~~ Four friends get together on a Friday afternoon to talk shit about Sunnyvale and watch the sunset. 

Also titled as: I JUST WANT TO WRITE FICS WHERE EVERYONE LIVES AND ARE HAPPY LIKE FUCK THEM DYING. GIMME MY FAVS BACK.

Read on AO3

It was a usual overcast Friday afternoon in Shadyside and Deena stretched her arms over her head as she headed towards the Shadyside High girl's locker room. The potent smell of floral body spray made her sneeze as she entered the room, high pitched voices bouncing off the walls and she winced before making a beeline down the corridor towards the toilets.

Her breath caught in her throat though, when she saw Samantha Fraser walking away from the toilets and towards her, and the grin that Sam gave her was enough to make her stomach knot.

Sam’s blonde hair glimmered under the crappy fluorescent lights and usually, Deena would have questioned that because the lighting was really shit but she didn’t care. Sam had already changed into her Shadyside cheerleader uniform, the blue and black standing out against her skin and her toned legs on display. Deena realised that she was shamelessly checking Sam out but before she could look away, Sam’s hand gently brushed against hers.

“I’ll see you later? The Spot?” she whispered, and Deena gave her a small nod before they walked past each other.

Deena’s heart could’ve exploded but she contained herself before turning left to the cubicles. There were two other band girls, Krystal and Lili, at the sinks chatting about some test they had earlier that day and Deena gave them a nod before walking to the end of the room where Kate, her best friend, was checking her hair. Kate grinned when she spotted Deena and gave her a hug. With black hair in a neat ponytail, a spotless record and dark eyes that could pick up the smallest detail, Kate was a good friend to have.

"How was AP English?" Deena asked and Kate rolled her eyes.

"Insufferable as always. Gary was a prick and decided to argue with me on every point I made while discussing Macbeth. I get that he doesn't like me, but fuck can he just give it a rest?” she groaned as she rolled her shoulders back.

“You do realise that he probably likes you, right? C’mon Kate, that’s the oldest trick in the book. He’s probably being an asshole to get your attention.”

“It’s stupid and if he thinks that it’s some form of flirting, then he’s dead wrong,” Kate huffed before looking at Deena’s gym bag.

“You getting ready for band?”

Deena heard Krystal and Lili take turns at the hand dryer before walking down the corridor, their retreating steps and voices echoing.

“Yep. And you have cheer practice,” Deena sighed, and Kate looked around, as if to check that no one was listening to them, before giving her a smirk and lowering her voice.

“Don’t worry. I won’t hog your girlfriend for too long. Besides, I’m there to yell and be on top of the pyramid.”

They both knew that was a lie. Despite Kate’s dismissive attitude towards cheerleading and all her other societies, she took it all seriously so that she could ‘Get the hell out of Shittyside’. She planned choreographies, sold extra drugs to raise money for cheer uniform upgrades and more. Deena felt that Kate did too much for a town that seemed against them with their nickname ‘Murder Capital USA’, but she knew that between the two of them, Kate deserved to get out.

“Oh please. We both know you do more than that,” Deena scoffed, and Kate shrugged her shoulders.

“We meeting after? Same spot? Sam gonna be there?” she asked, and Deena nodded.

“Simon too. He said he got us discounted food!” Kate said excitedly.

“I hope you know that means that the food is about to expire,” Deena said, deadpanned.

“Whatever! Food is food and I’m not going to turn down chicken wings and all the candy bars I can eat.”

“I gotta get changed and you should get going. Don’t want to be late for practice,” Deena said with a smile and Kate flipped her off before leaving her to get changed in one of the cubicles.  

Deena listened Kates’s footsteps retreat, and she undressed and changed into her band uniform. She wasn’t self-conscious of her body and didn’t mind changing in front of other people, but the girl’s locker room didn’t leave much to look at. The last thing she wanted was for a girl to point at her for staring and then the whole school would think she’s gay (which she was but that’s wasn’t the point).

Kate had managed to spin a rumour that Deena had a scar on her lower abdomen that she had gotten in an accident and was still ‘healing from the trauma’. While her eyes wouldn’t wander around the change room now that she only had eyes for Sam, it was easier to keep the rumour going and have privacy.

That was another reason Deena loved Kate. Kate could lie flawlessly, and because she was a good student, no one would think twice.

Deena opened the cubicle and adjusted her hat before heading out the locker room and to practice.

~~~

She sighed in relief as she took off her hat and threw it into her bag and changing out of her clothes and changing into a fresh set of clothing.

Most of the band kids had left soon after practice, uniform and all but Deena was headed straight to The Spot as soon she could, so avoiding a trip back home would be beneficial.

Kate and Sam had ended practice earlier and both had gone home to shower and freshen up. Deena didn’t blame them. The showers in the locker room were gross and she was sure she saw mold on the ceiling.

She shuddered before throwing on a t-shirt and jeans and heading out of the locker rooms. She waved bye to Krystal and Lili, who somehow always ended being the last ones getting changed and left the locker room.

Deena thought about the homework she had to do as she walked past the pep rally posters and the banner reading, ‘Let’s Bring It Home, Witches!’. Deena was aware that the biannual football game against Sunnyvale and Shadyside was next Friday and despite Shadyside High having a good football team, Sunnyvale almost always beat them.

It was like a joke. Every single game, a Shadyside football player got injured or a Sunnyvaler would score miraculously, and Deena didn’t mean any offence, but what was the banner supposed to mean?

What where they bringing home?

The last shreds of their dignity?

It was so embarrassing but with Sunnyvale being the only city close enough to them, Shadyside didn’t have a choice.

Deena took a deep breath in before exhaling her feelings of the rivalry between Shadyside and Sunnyvale. This last week had been exhausting but she was happy it was over, and she could spend her weekend unwinding. She didn’t need to think about Shadyside and Sunnyvale.

All she wanted to think about was her, Sam, Kate and Simon hanging out on a late Friday afternoon.

She walked out of the school and a breeze lifted a few of her curls and inwardly thanked that she had packed blankets for them. She thought about the homework she’d have to do on Sunday and the three-page assignment for English, before shaking her head and taking out her Walkman from her backpack and drowning out her thoughts.

~~~

Simon was waiting for her, at least 6 shopping bags with him on the ground and he grinned mischievously as she gestured to all the bags.

"Look if we're starting this weekend off with a bang, we're doing it right. I got mini pies, meatballs, weird little vegetable sticks, donuts with that thick icing Kate loves so much, fries with enough oil to clog up our arteries-"

"Did not need that image Simon," Deena interrupted with a shudder.

"-sugar cookies, three different types of Oreos, cupcakes and... a little magic juice," Simon said, wiggling his eyebrows as he opened one of the bags that had a brown paper bag it cheap white wine.

Deena winced at the beverage and Simon straightened up and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"Hey, you don't have to have. I got it because I thought we could all loosen up a little. It’s not heavy shit either but no worries if you don't want, Dee."

His tone was sincere, and she gave him a small smile. Only Kate, Sam and Simon knew about her dad’s drinking problem, and they had been over to her house enough times to see some of the empty beer cans in the bin. While Deena knew that it was her dad’s fault for drinking too much and being passed out on the couch, she couldn’t help but wonder if alcoholism ran in her family.

That last thing she wanted was to be like him.

"Thanks Simon. Now let's carry this to the spot,” she said, and he smiled dopily at her.

They grabbed three bags each and they began to walk away from the supermarket.

"I'm surprised you got off so early. Don't you usually close the store on Fridays after school?"

"Yeah, but my manager loves me so much that when I asked him and flashed my beautiful doe eyes, he told Kristen to do it instead. She looked furious," he giggled, and Deena snorted.

Simon frequently complained about Kristen Jenkins, his other co-worker, who was a nightmare. She did all her work but was always trying to one up him to get employee of the month. While Simon didn't care for the title, he liked seeing his picture on the wall and knew it would only piss if Kristen more of he was overly sweet to her.

"You know she might kill you some day," Deena laughed.

"Not if I get to her first," he said suggestively, and Deena hit him playfully.

"Pervert," she said, and he danced forward, the bags swaying in his hands.

"Nah, just a law-abiding citizen your honour!" he yelled.

They discussed their homework and their other plans for the weekend (Simon was working as usual and Deena knew she would be stuck at home with homework and looking after her brother, Josh). They walked past familiar streets and soon the gravel under their shoes became a steep rocky path as they exited their town. Deena hated this part of the walk, but their destination would be worth it. They took a left into the forest and continued their walk in a comfortable silence.

The path got steeper, and Deena gritted her teeth as she made her last step up, revealing a little patch of grass with the best view of Shadyside. She could see the grocery store, her school and even the Sheriff’s office in the distance.

It was a hidden gem that she had found one night after her dad got home drunk and in a fit of rage, left the house with no idea where to go.

She didn't want to go to any of her friend's houses and at that point, Sam wasn’t her girlfriend yet and she didn’t want to scare her away (even though Sam reassured her a few months later after Deena had confessed that her dad was hardly around). Instead, she ran. Ran to the point where her lungs were burning for air and her shirt stuck to her back with sweat. It was so dark, and she realised she had no idea where she was going. She took lefts and rights before realizing she was in the forest outside of town but eventually saw a light source and kept following it until she got to the small patch of grass that overlooked Shadyside. Deena had stayed there till sunrise, watching the world go from dark to bright and a feeling of calm passed over her as she soaked in the first rays of the day. She had made her way home to find her dad passed out on the couch and Josh still asleep, both unaware that she had been gone for nearly four hours.

She had collapsed onto her bed and slept, her anger seeping away from her bones, but the memory of the sunrise embedded in her memories. She had shown Kate and Simon that spot a week later, and it became a regular hang out for the three of them until Deena started dating Sam a few months later.

Sam had been hesitant at first to go to ‘The Spot’ as Simon had called it but then again, Sam was hesitant with almost everything concerning her budding relationship with Deena.

Deena was hoping that Sam would loosen up over time, but she knew how her mom was…strict, had high expectations and a tight grip on who was in Sam’s social life. Deena hadn’t messed up yet but knowing that Sam could disappear from her life purely because of Sam’s mother was another kind of fear. Deena had met Sam’s mom, who seemed nice enough but hearing about a fight between Sam’s mom and dad, it sounded like her mom was slightly more vicious.

“Deena? You good?” Simon asked and she blinked as she snapped out of her daydream.

“Yeah…sorry. Oh…you set up everything,” she said, raising an eyebrow at the beautiful scene in front of her.

“When you leave a retail employee alone with food that needs to be organized, you can’t expect him to not do anything. I assumed that the two fluffy blankets were for cuddles later and the other was for this picnic, so I took it out. That okay?”

Deena nodded and made herself comfortable and grabbed a mini pizza.

“Perfect Simon. So…how expired are these?” she asked, taking a sniff and Simon stared at her.

“Do you not trust me, Deena?” he gasped dramatically and before she could answer, a familiar voice from behind them yelled.

“If she did, I would be worried!”

Deena grinned as she put down the pizza and stood up to see Kate and Sam walking together. Kate was holding two bottles of apple juice and Sam had a box of cookies in her hand. Sam’s hair was damp from her shower earlier and Kate’s cheeks were a rosy red. They were both in comfy clothes and Deena hugged Kate first before hugging Sam.

“Glad you could make it, Sam,” Deena whispered, and she felt Sam hold her a little tighter.

“Me too. Snuck out the house and everything,” she giggled into her ear, and Deena’s jaw dropped.

“Wait what? Seriously? Damn Samantha sneaking out-?” Deena teased, and Sam grinned.

“Won’t your parents notice you’re gone?” Simon asked as he popped a grape into his mouth before frowning and inspecting the container. “Okay…the grapes might not be good.”

Kate raised an eyebrow and she swiped a grape before her face scrunched in disgust, “Ew no. Oh that’s disgusting. Take it away.”

Simon laughed before taking the grapes and throwing them away into one of the empty carrier bags.

“Uh…not tonight. They both have work and stuff,” Sam said, and Deena detected the hesitance in her voice. She pushed down the urge to ask what the real answer was and sighed in relief when Kate let out a squeal from behind her.

“You are fucking brilliant Simon Kalivoda!” Kate said as she held up a donut with white icing on the top.

Simon gave Deena a triumphant look as Kate bit into the donut and signed in happiness while Deena took Sam’s hand and lead her to the food. The sat down and soon, conversation filled the air in between bites of food.

“Shadyside versus Sunnyvale next week. Yay,” Kate grumbled in between bites of her donut, and Simon looked at her with sympathy.

“At least their cheerleading routines aren’t as good,” he said and at those words, Kate visibly perked up and Deena hid her laugh.

“Damn right,” Kate said, before grabbing a meatball and popping the whole thing into her mouth.

“Okay so here’s what I’m thinking…we graffiti Sunnyvale’s bus!” Simon smiled evilly and Kate smacked him on his head.

“We’re trying to avoid conflict Simon. Not give them a reason to retaliate plus knowing them, they’ll get lawyers involved and all that crap.”

“But they win almost every time!” Simon moaned in frustration, “What’s the point of even having the matches if we already know the outcome?”

Deena heard Sam giggle next to her and she smiled as their conversation continued.

“Does no one think it’s a little weird that their team’s name is the ‘Sunnyvale Devils’?” Sam asked and Deena turned to look at her in surprise.

“Care to elaborate?” Kate asked and Sam sat up a little straighter.

“Well Sunnyvale has all these good things happen to them and it only seems that Shadyside suffers right? Economically and all that.”

As Sam spoke, she opened up the plastic container of cookies and she offered to everyone. Simon bit into one and Deena swore his eyes rolled to the back of his head as he let out a moan of pleasure.

"Stop being so sexual, weirdo!" Kate said and Simon ignored her as he turned to face Kate.

"These are incredible. Did you make them?" he asked and Sam smiled brightly before nodding. "You must give me the recipe, holy shit. It's like there's cocaine in here!"

Everyone laughed before Sam continued.

"It's just strange that between two towns not too far apart from each other, one is thriving economically and the other is suffering."

“Except we have the murders! What's that nickname...'Murder Capital USA'? Yeah that!” Simon chipped in and Kate rolled her eyes.

“Yeah, but that hasn’t happened recently,” Kate argued.

“Not yet!” Simon said lowering his voice eerily and Kate turned back to look at Sam.

“Ignore him. You were saying?”

“Well, it’s strange that they’re the Sunnyvale Devils. Why would they name their team after the devil since they clearly have a blessing from God to thrive,” Sam said snarkily, and Deena grinned, happy that her girlfriend, who usually said things to please everyone else, was allowing herself to loosen up a little.

“I don’t know but they suck and maybe they deserve to have a mascot who is the literal devil,” Kate said proudly.

“A toast to Shadyside!” Simon yelled and Deena gave him a look of confusion.

“How about a toast to friends?” Kate suggested before looking over to Simon. “Y’know, since we have a ninety-nine percent change of losing next week’s game?”

“There’s still the one percent,” Sam said softly, and Deena squeezed her hand.

She loved how optimistic Sam was, even in the shittiest situations. Deena felt like sometimes, Sam was too bright and sunny for her, and that Sam deserved a person just as bright and sunny as her, but Sam eased her worries instantly with a kiss and words of comfort.

Simon took out the cheap wine and raised an eyebrow at Deena, who shook her head.

“You not drinking?” Sam asked and Deena gave her a small nod.

“Okay, so it’s just me, Kate and…Sam, you in?” Simon asked as he lifted an empty cup and Sam smiled at him.

“No thanks. My mom can smell any sort of alcohol a mile away, even if it’s the cheap stuff.”  

“Suit yourself!” Simon said with a shrug, and he held up a bottle of apple juice that Kate had bought. “Would you prefer this?” he asked, and the couple nodded.

The sky was a haze of orange and gold clouds as the sunset and while Deena had witnessed the sunset at The Spot for the last couple months, she never got sick of it. The sun lit up the town and for once, Shadyside’s beauty seemed to nearly be on par with Sunnyvale. Sure, they didn’t have three story mansions or newly painted tennis courts and country clubs, but the weirdly homey feeling of the town was what Deena appreciated. The sunset made her feel like Shadyside wasn’t all bad and that things could get better for her and her family. The feeling that she could come out with Sam as her girlfriend and her dad would stop drinking so much. It made her fantasize of travelling and experiencing life with Sam at her side but knowing that Shadyside was her home.

It gave her five minutes of hope that she needed.

“Cheers to friends!” Kate announced, holding her cup high and they all cheered before downing their drinks.

Simon decided to pretend being drunk as he stumbled around the grass and made dirty jokes while Kate pulled his arm to go explore a part of the forest. Deena knew this was Kate’s way of giving her and Sam some alone time and she inwardly thanked her friend before turning to face Sam, who was glowing from the golden rays of sun on her skin.

“Wow…” Deena whispered, and Sam looked up, a frosted cookie in her mouth.

“Hmm? Did I miss something?” she asked, as she chewed and swallowed.

“No…it’s nothing,” Deena said, before leaning back on her hands. “So…you want to tell me what’s going on with your parents?”

“Ugh, nothing gets past you!” Sam groaned before closing her eyes and turning to face Deena, nibbling on the cookie as she started to speak.

“I think they might be getting a divorce. The fights have gotten worse, and they argue almost every day. It’s like a relief when I wake up to them not fighting. I think they went to see attorneys this evening after work which is why I could sneak out. I…I don’t want to be home waiting for them to tell me that type of news right now.”

Deena winced as Sam's voice broke and Sam buried her head into her hands, silent tears dripping down her cheeks.

“I don’t know what to do, Deena. I saw this coming, but I don’t know what’s going to happen to me if they go through with the divorce. My mom mentioned something about Sunnyvale to my aunt on the phone a few days ago and…and what if I move and if I don't move and stay with my dad...I don't know...what if I have to choose between my parents-?”

Sam broke off and began sobbing and Deena took her into her arms smoothing down her hair. Sam relaxed into Deena's arms and after a few minutes Deena spoke up.

“I’m so sorry, Sam. You still got me, and Simon and Kate and…I’ll do everything I can to help you through this. I promise.”

“You mean that?”

“Yes, every word. I know it's going to be hard but you will always have me.”

Sam sniffed before lifting her head and wiping away her tears.

“Thank you, Deena. That means everything to me,” Sam said before cupping the side of Deena’s face and closing the gap between them.

Deena could feel the butterflies in her stomach and taste the strawberry icing from the biscuit Sam had eaten. She could feel Sam’s growing smile against her lips, and she melted into Sam’s arms.

How had she gotten so lucky?

Deena wasn’t sure how long they kissed but after they came up for air, there was a wolf whistle from behind them and Sam nearly screamed before realizing it was Simon, grinning manically with Kate by his side, a similar grin on her face, holding a polaroid camera.

“God, you scared the daylights out of us!” Deena yelled and Sam chuckled before clearing her voice.

“You guys find anything cool?” she asked, and Kate shook her head.

“Nah. Simon saw a skunk and wanted to chase after it, but I dragged him away before things could get…gross. But…we did get these!”

Kate bounded up to them before presenting them with two polaroid pictures and Deena let out a gasp. It was of the two of them, the Shadyside sunset in the backdrop while their silhouettes were nose to nose. Deena knew that the photo was discreet enough for them to not be recognizable, with her hoodie hiding her hair, but Deena knew that made it even more special to Sam, who couldn't afford her mom finding out that it was two girls close enough to kiss.

Sam was frozen in shock as she stared at her picture before jumping up and hugging Kate and repeating ‘thank you’ repeatedly while Kate just laughed.

Simon sat back down and grabbed a handful of cheesy puffs before smiling at Deena.

“You still think Shadyside is going to lose next week?” she asked, and he hummed before winking at her.

“Who knows? I’m feeling kinda lucky this evening,” he said as she smiled as Sam sat down and wrapped her arms around her, so that her back was against Sam’s chest.

Kate sat down next to Simon, who pouted and glanced in her direction, before rolling her eyes and giving him a quick kiss on the cheek.

“There. That’s all the love I’m feeling tonight,” she said nonchalantly, and Simon only grinned before tackling her, kissing her cheeks and she squealed.

Deena snorted and Sam gasped in surprise before asking, “They’re not together, right? You told me that they weren’t?”

“No, but Simon is overly affectionate, and Kate tolerates it. He’s kissed my cheek a few times before I told him I was lesbian, and he’s backed off ever since to respect my boundaries. Kate describes it as friendly connections, but Simon is convinced that she’s madly in love with him,” Deena explained, and Kate glared at her from the ground as she pushed Simon’s face away from hers.

“Simon! Get off! And no Deena, I’m not madly in love with him!”

“But I have so much love to give Kate!” he complained, his words slightly slurred from Kate's hand being against his cheek.

“Then date one of the cheerleaders I’ve told you about! Or one the football players!” she yelled.

Simon have her a goofy smile before smiling mischievously.

“Nah, none of them would be able to tolerate me the way you do and don’t act like I haven’t caught you staring during cheer practice. You crush on the cheerleaders and football players too!”

Kate’s face flushed and Simon smirked at her before she ruffled his hair.

“Shut up Si-money. You know we’re platonic soulmates.”

That answer seemed to satisfy Simon as he helped her sit up right and he gave her a shit-eating grin.

“Hell yeah! Platonic soulmates! Now that’s something I can do,” he hummed happily, and she rolled her eyes, but her smile was undeniable.

The four of them watched the sky turn lilac with streaks of pink and orange and slowly but surely, the deep navy started to set in. The wind picked up, and soon the blankets were brought out and wrapped around shoulders. Deena and Sam cuddled together, their body heat more than enough, and Simon tried to cuddle with Kate before she scolded him.

“I already let you kiss me, Simon. Don’t push your luck with any skinship!”

“I just don’t want you to catch a cold! It’s called ‘being considerate’ Kate!” he argued back.

Deena tried to keep her laughter in when she looked over to them a few minutes later, with Kate looking grumpy because she was shivering, and watched as Simon wrapped his jacket around her as well as the blanket around them.

“This changes nothing, Simon,” she grumbled.

“Wasn’t planning on changing a thing,” he said, and that answer seemed to make her rest her back against his chest.

The stars came out and the sound of crickets echoed through the air. Deena wanted this moment to last forever. Everything was perfect.

“You going back home tonight?” Deena whispered into Sam’s ear, and she nodded.

“Yeah. Gotta get back before the parents but thankfully dinner is in the fridge, and I can avoid them for the evening by locking myself in my room.”

“You could always come back to my place.”

“You have a project to do plus even if you didn’t, I can’t. I’m visiting my grandparents tomorrow for breakfast and the parents would definitely notice my absence,” she said apologetically.

“You’re right. I should focus on school,” Deena said sarcastically, and Sam rested her chin on Deena’s head.

“I know you’ll create an amazing project.”

“You always have so much faith in me.”

“Why shouldn’t I? You’re Deena Johnson, my sarcastic, moody, intelligent girlfriend and I know you can do it.”

Deena’s heart swelled at the word.

Girlfriend.

She cuddled closer to Sam and watched the sky turn fully to deep navy, the lights from the town the only reason it wasn’t pitch black.

Deena knew they’d have to leave in a few minutes so that Sam could be home before her parents. Kate had mentioned she was babysitting that seven which automatically meant Simon would be accompanying her. Deena knew that Josh would probably be at home under a sheet and doing whatever dorky shit he did online, which left her alone to do work in her room.

She shook away those thoughts and decided to focus on how she was in Sam’s arms, feeling warm and with Simon and Kate, who made her stomach ache from laughter. She chose to focus on the sweetness from Sam's kiss on her tongue and the last glimpse of pale yellow before it vanished under the navy sky. She chose to look at the stars and close her eyes to make a wish, and even though she had grown out of the habit that wishes couldn’t come true no matter how hard you believed, she took the chance.

She could choose happiness now and that was all that mattered to her.

~~~

Thank you so much for reading!

These events take place before Sam's parents get divorced (and all the shit hits the fan) and she moves to Sunnyvale hence the Shadyside cheerleading uniform and all of them attending the same high school.

Kate and Simon are 100% my favourite characters and I adore how goofy Simon is. I definitely headcanon Kate as bi and Simon as pan (literally everyone in Fear Street is queer you cannot argue with me on this!) and I adore their friendship throughout Part One hence PLATONIC SOULMATES EVERYONE. Simon seemed to love hugging people and throwing his arm around other people's shoulders so I made in overly affectionate with Kate in this fic.

Not going to lie, I would love to write a part two for this where Deena is reflecting on this moment while visiting Simon and Kate's graves but that might make me sad soooooo...let me know if you guys would want to read some angst lol.

I also really love Ruby Lane and I might write a whole fic about her because she was definitely my favourite killer in the trilogy! Also Alice and Cindy because those girls were gay as hell and I really did think they were going to kiss at one point.

Anyway, thanks for reading and if you liked it, reblogs and likes are appreciated!

Stay safe, vanilla107 xoxo

[pl-panda]

The vines that bind us - Chapter 5

Chapter 1 || Previous || NEXT

“Yes.” Riddler seethed. “And I really don’t like it when someone uses mine in their ridiculous stories. Now, which of you can tell me where I can find Lila Rossi?”

Some cruel part of Mari wanted to laugh. Leave it to Lila’s lies to get the attention of one of the Rogues of Gotham. And Riddler of all people. That guy had an ego the size of Amusement Mile. He would definitely not take kindly to anyone telling tales about outsmarting him. 

The kinder part, which was domineering, worried about her classmates. Edward Nygma was an unpredictable sociopath. Her mother always warned her against him. Gotham underworld could’ve been separated into three categories: Criminals, Goal-oriented, and Madmen. The first ones were usually greedy mobsters and thieves, such as Catwoman, uncle Floyd or Penguin. They were in it for profit or thrill and could easily be reasoned with. Poison Ivy often dealt with criminals when she needed something. The second category were those who had a goal and would stop at nothing to achieve it. Marigold’s mother was one of them, as were uncles Slade and Doctor Fries. The last category contained the worst part of Gotham’s underworld like Joker, Scarecrow, or Riddler, who cared only about carnage and chaos. She was always warned to stay away from them because they had no respect for anyone or anything and she would run at the risk of great harm. 

Riddler ordered his people to spread through the room. Mari counted at least two dozen. It was bad. The employees were gathered into smaller groups guarded by three mooks. The guns were ready to fire. She really wished there was at least some flower in a glass. She could feel Tikki shifting under her suit. One look at Adrien told her Plagg was similar. The kwamis were worried for their holders. Chloe was the only one calm. She sat there with crossed legs and did her nails. Her steel nerves were incredible. Or would be if it did not attract Riddler.

“You!” He pointed his cane at the blonde. “Riddle me this. What happens to a small stone when it works ups some courage?”

“Wait. You’re speaking to me?” The girl asked. Riddler was a little baffled, but the cane was still pointing right at her. “Ridiculous! Utterly Ridiculous!” Chloe stared at the criminal. “If you think I have time to play some stupid trivia game… I mean seriously? Stones are dead. They can’t have courage.”

Mari facepalmed loudly. Leave it to Chloe to try and antagonize a madman with a gun pointed at her. 

“Tsk tsk tsk. Wrong answer.” Riddler tried to press some button on the grip, but there was only dull sound. “What in the world?”

“Wait! I… I know where to find Lila Rossi!” Mari shouted, hoping to get Riddler’s attention away from Chloe before he managed to repair the gun. The class started to give her murderous glares. Adrien looked at her curiously.

“Oh! Do tell!” The criminal turned to her. When he hit the cane into the ground there was a loud sound of a gunshot that made everyone jump. The ground was now smoking. “Useless junk!”

“She is still in her office! I can lead you to her if you let my friends go.” 

“Ha! Do you think me a fool? As if…”

“A little boulder.” Mari interrupted him. 

“Oh. So you are smart. What about this: The person who makes it has no need of it; the person who buys it has no use for it. The person who uses it can neither see nor feel it. What is it?”

“A coffin,” Mari said with a bit of hesitation sneaking into her voice. Why in the world was she trying to save Lila again?

“Good.” Riddler looked at her for a moment. “Fine. I will go with you. But if you try to deceive me…”

“Coffin?” Mari asked with a smile. Riddler frowned so she quickly returned to the scared expression. 

The villain motioned for eight of his men to follow him and led Mari to the elevator. She was constantly at the gunpoint. Mari had to think quickly. She could try to lose them at the one fo the office levels or… she knew for certain where to find two living plants in the building. With a shaking hand, she pressed the top button. When Nygma gave her a raised eyebrow she shrugged.

“You must’ve heard about her dating youngest Mr. Wayne.” Mari lied swiftly. 

“There was something about it on that cursed blog.” He mumbled. 

-----------------------------

Slowly, the machine went up. The tensions were high and Mari for a moment wondered if revealing her heritage would be enough to scare them. Ultimately, she decided to keep it as an additional shock when they got to the office. She really hoped Mr. Drake would be kind enough to hide under his bulletproof desk and not fire her when he learned who her mother was. Oh well, it’s not like she needed that job too much. 

The elevator paused one level below their destination, but the doors did not open and it refused to go higher. Her tablet started to beep. With all the stress, she forgot she had it on her the whole time.

“What’s the meaning of this?”

Slowly, she opened the tablet. An icon was blinking at her. When she pressed it, a video of them in the elevator popped up. 

A large number of people without authorization in the elevator. Do you approve? Yes No

She pressed yes and the elevator started moving. She should really get some manuals for this thing. When the doors opened, she looked around. It was time for the show. She strode to the doors leading to Mr. Drake’s office. The Riddler and his mooks followed her. She pushed the doors open and immediately screamed.

“Get down!”

Rolling to the side, she pushed her powers to the limit, allowing the plants to seep her energy and grow. Vines shot from the pots and quickly grabbed the guns. Riddler, seething with anger, aimed his cane, but another vine grabbed it and ripped it out of his hand. The three strongest henchmen managed to hold onto their guns and started firing, but Mari was already safe behind the bulletproof desk. Good thing it was mentioned in the notes she inherited from Sarah.

She heard a loud cracking sound and felt that one of the plants just lost their pot. She silently promised it a more comfortable one and thanked for the sacrifice. Her green skin was now in full view. Accidentally, she pressed something on the tablet and now it showed the image from the lobby. She could see that the remaining henchmen were firing at something outside. The muzzles of their guns were flashing. Angry, Mari grabbed one of the drawers and ripped it from the desk. She leaned out from behind her cover and tossed it with full force. The projectile sailed through the air spinning before hitting the middle henchman in the center of his face. He fell down firing the gun all around the place. She could definitely hear something fragile breaking. Oh well. As long as she’s not the one paying…

The vines knocked out all but one henchman who was slowly backing away toward the elevator while firing at whatever plant got close. Riddler was now hanging by his ankles and wildly flailing his hands. The video of the elevator showed he was now there and resting. He thought her friends wouldn’t reach him. How cute!

Mari walked away from her cover and slowly approached the elevator. She heard the fashion disaster grasp when he saw her in her true form, but paid him no mind for now. She only had the vines gag him. The girl pulled the ninjato from its hiding place and smiled. When she pressed the elevator button, the criminal aimed his gun at her. She quickly leaned to the side while hitting the rifle with the palm of her hand. At the same time, she stabbed him in the leg with the sword. While he was screaming in pain she could easily rip the gun from him and then hit him with it, knocking him out. 

The bluenette looked at the gun with disgust. Clenching her hand, she crushed the barrel before dropping it on the floor and approaching Riddler. The plants turned him around and restrained his arms.

“You! You tricked me!” He shouted as soon as his mouth was uncovered.

“Yes.” Marigold smiled sweetly. “Is that a problem?”

“You… Oh no no no! That won’t do! I can stand being outsmarted by Batman. I will not be defeated by some schoolgirl with feeble meta-powers playing Poison-Iy look-alike. For a moment I thought you were her.”

“Look-alike?” the girl asked. “I don’t look that… Just because I have green skin I’m suddenly Poison Ivy look-alike?” She shouted at riddler.

“The hair is wrong, but otherwise your face is very similar.”

“What?” Not believing him, Mari walked over to where she left her tablet and looked. True, her face changed a bit. She still had some of her qualities that easily marked her as Marinette, but her face was no longer that round, instead taking a more oval shape. Her nose was now smaller and lips fuller. She really looked more similar to her mother. And yeah, the green skin made it obvious.

“You’re done preening yourself?” 

“Sure. Now let’s go back to the fact you attacked my friends and made my first day at work even worse!” Her steel gaze rested on Riddler, who felt very uneasy. The vines squeezed his wrists and ankles a bit.

Gulp! “On second thought, I have nothing against preening. The look is important after all…”

“Said the guy with Hawaiian shirt under a suit.” Mari deadpanned. “I don’t have time for this.” She asked one of the vines to smack him in his head, swiftly knocking the supervillain out. With that out of the way, she walked over to the plants and thanked each of them individually. She gently picked the one with a smashed pot and placed it with the other one. 

“Now can you behave for one night? I promise I will get both of you better pots tomorrow.” Mari giggled when both of them hugged her with their leaves. Tikki floated out of her pocket. 

“Marigold! I was so worried! They were armed and you were not Ladybug! There would be no cure if something happened!” 

“Don’t worry Tikki. I had a plan. Mostly…” She looked around the devastated office and her equally devastated workplace. 

“But now your boss will know your secret!” 

“You know what?” Mari smiled. “I don’t care. I’m Marigold Isley and this is Gotham, not Paris.”

“But the word will get out!”

“It will anyway since I’m going to search for my mother Tikki.” The girl tried to calm the frantic mini-goddess.

“Fine.” Bug-like spirit huffed before zipping around the room, passing through the head of each and every henchman, ending her trip with Riddler. “There! They will remember how you took them all down with some martial arts.” 

“You’re the best Tikki!” Mari hugged her Kwami to her cheek. The mini-god nuzzled affectionately. 

Marigold willed the green to disappear from her skin and have the hair return to normal. Eyes were always the hardest, but she got the green under some control. Quickly checking the video feed from the lobby, she saw that there was no more firing, but Police did not yet enter. They must’ve been waiting for the bat. 

Looking around, she finally realized that her boss was nowhere to be seen. Strange. She could’ve sworn he was still in his office when she left. While possible that he left shortly after, he would’ve been in the lobby and he wasn’t. The other option was that he went straight to the garage, which was possible. After all, the CEO ought to have some luxurious car. Yeah, that’s probably right. 

She pulled her phone and typed 911. Time to get some professional help. 

“Nine one one, what’s your emergency?”

“Hi! I’m Marinette Dupain-Cheng. I’m on the top floor of Wayne Enterprises with a knocked out Riddler and some of his men. If you could please connect me to whoever is leading the negotiations?”

“Madame, this is not a joking matter.” The voice in her phone scolded her.

“Do you believe I’m joking? I’m standing here with a bloodied ninjato and eight men unconscious men plus Edward Nygma who decided to become a fashion disaster since I’ve last seen him.” Marigold answered in a harsher tone. “Today I had one of the most stressful days of my life. First, instead of being an intern I suddenly got hired as a Personal Assistant, then I had to explain to Lex freaking Luthor that I’m not a doormat. If that was not enough, I’m stuck in this job for six! Months! Add to that, because of some mistake in communication Damian Wayne decided to attack me with ninjato. After that Security was really unhelpful. I finish my first day of work only to have Riddler parade into the building just as we were to leave. And I had to improvise because he was about to shoot my friend who, while I love her, needs to learn to shut her mouth sometimes!” Mari shouted, putting all of her frustration and withheld anger into it.

“I’m sorry madame. I will check what I can…”

“You can connect me to whoever leads the police downstairs or I can toss them Riddler from the top of Wayne Tower.” Mari was honestly done. She would do it. Chloe said it herself that it was a tall building. 

“Listen here you little…” Whoever she was speaking to was suddenly cut off and she heard a different voice.

“Gordon here. Who’s that.”

“Are you the police officer in charge down there?”

“What you mean down there? I thought we managed to evacuate everyone from the upper floors!”

“Oh. Good. I was worried about how many people he actually held hostage. I’m on the top floor with a knocked out riddler and some of his men. I don’t exactly have anything to tie them up with…”

“How exactly did you end up up there!” The man asked. “Is batman with you?”

“He was about to shoot one of my friends so I lied to him and got him to follow me to the elevator. I used a moment when he was distracted to take him out.”

“Madame. I really hope it’s not some joke.”

“I…” She wanted to speak, but there was some static on the other side of the line

“Miss Dupain-Cheng. This is Batman.” For a moment she was unsure how to answer. “Are you still there?”

“Yeah. I’m okay.”

“I need you to try and tie the men you got up there. They will probably regain consciousness soon. Do you have zip-ties or at duct tape in your office?”

“Not that I’m aware. It’s my first day. Oh! I can use their jackets!”

“Do that. Riddler’s men downstairs are unaware of what happened with you. If they get wind of their boss being defeated, we don’t know what will happen.”

“Rodger that.” She proceeded to tie them up until Riddler was the one now having his hands bound by the suit he wore. His were tied with really strong vines. She would not risk anything. “Batman? are you there?” Mari asked to her phone. 

“Yes.” Came after a moment. “Are all of them tied?”

“Yes. I used the destroyed plant for Riddler. I thought we could benefit from him still wearing his suit somehow.”

“I sent Robin your way, Miss. He will be coming through the vents. Please try not to attack him on sight.” Batman said in a tired voice. She suspected there was a story behind it, but she was too tired to care. Awkwardly, she took a seat in her chair, which now had several bullet holes but was still mostly comfortable. The waiting was killing her. She was all alone in a room full of downed henchmen.

“Um… So how is your day Batman?” She asked, wanting to break the silence. 

“...” There was no answer at first. “It was mostly fine until Nygma showed up.” More silence. “I heard from Nightwing that he would have a hilarious story to tell once he got home. I’m not sure if I should already be worried or not.”

A smile forced its way onto Marigold’s face. She suddenly thought about Batman sitting in the middle of a room with the other members of Batfam running around playing tag. She did it once with Allegra and Claude when their parents had their get-togethers. 

A sound in the vent broke her out of reminiscing. She added two more names to the list of people she would have to track now that she was in Gotham. She picked the sword and slowly walked toward the vent. Batman warned her that Robin was coming, but one couldn’t be too cautious. 

A boy close to her age appeared. He was wearing a horrendous traffic light suit. At least his cloak was black on the outside and had a hood. The outfit first Robin wore was an even bigger disaster, so there was some progress. Maybe in ten Robins, she would actually be able to not be embarrassed to be seen in their presence. 

“Miss. Please don’t point the ninjato at me.” He asked when he stood up. 

“Sure. I didn’t want to get any surprises. What now?”

“Police is monitoring the situation downstairs. They wanted to enter with full force, but with so many hostages we’re afraid about casualties.” Robin spoke in a very formal tone. Too formal for her liking.

“I have the monitoring on my tablet.” She walked to the desk and showed him the feed. “I count fourteen hostiles. They are in six groups with two to three guns each.”

“I don’t need a lesson in tactics.” The vigilante got angry.

“And about motive? One of the interns posted a video about another intern helping you guys take Riddler down. He really didn’t like it. I’m plenty certain he came to kill her in a very dramatic way.”

“That… complicates things.” Came Batman’s voice. She forgot he was still on the line.

“Miss. Do you know who is the intern he is after?” The police officer asked.

“Lila Rossi. She is one of my classmates. She is the one that is now surrounded by a crowd of young people comforting her while she is crying crocodile tears.” Mari showed her at the screen to robin. “I got Riddler to come up here under the pretense of leading him to her. The floor would be mostly empty and my boss has a bulletproof desk.”

“Tt. And what exactly was that supposed to achieve?” Robin stared at her.

“Gee! I don’t know. Maybe he would no longer be pointing his gun at my best friend!?” She looked at him. “Not everyone carries Kevlar to work.”

“Robin!” Batman reprimanded him. 

“Fine.”

“We can’t give him what he wants, especially after you took him down, Miss,” Gordon spoke. “To be frank, I don’t see it ending any other way than a full-frontal assault. We have snipers in position and SWAT ready. They are only waiting for a green light.” A deep sigh made its way through the line. “I only regret how many lives it will put on the line.”

“What if we got some of them out?” An idea formed in Mari’s head.

“I don’t see it happening unless Riddler gives the command directly,” Gordon said in a solemn voice.

“Leave it to me.” Marigold was determined to save as many people as she could. She was so decking Lila for this situation.

The small girl stormed toward Riddler. She grabbed his shoulders and shook him violently. Slowly, he opened his eyes.

“What… You! You tricked me!”

“Yeah. Get used to it.” She picked her tablet and started recording. “You will give the command to your people to let half of the hostages go.”

“Riddle me…” Before he could finish, Marigold grabbed him by the laps of his jacket and dragged him toward the large window in Mr. Drake’s office. She dropped the criminal, picked the drawer, and smashed it into the window several times. There wasn’t even a scratch on the glass, but the drawer was now chipped in several places. She looked at it and shrugged.

“I’m out of patience today. You can either give the command or I will open the window with your face.”

“Miss! I can’t let…” Robin tried to intervene, but she pointed the drawer at him. 

“Shut up. I want this day to end.”

Since Riddler was still silent, she picked him by the scruff and was about to smash him. “Fine! Fine! Fine!” He shouted. “Bring me the walkie-talkie.” He pointed at one lying close.

“Do I look like an idiot to you? Record the message here.” 

“As you want.” He leaned closer to the tablet (or as close as she was willing to let him). “Let go of half the hostages.”

Mari stared at him unamused. She dropped him on the ground and walked to where the sword was dropped. After picking it she returned to where the villain was desperately trying to crawl away.

“Miss! Please cease it at once. We do not torture criminals!”

“No. You just pat them on their back and let them go.” She deadpanned and turned to Riddler.

“Really? Oh wow. That’s just cold.” She heard from the phone. A new voice joined Batman and Gordon.

“Wait!” Riddler squeaked. “Let go the number of hostages that would be half of seventy-five if half of five was three!” He shouted very loudly.

Mari nodded and handed the tablet to Robin. He already held a walkie-talkie. After he played the message, there was some ruffle on the other side, but Mari was too tired to care. The girl grabbed her tablet from Robin and opened the feed from the lobby. She saw some confused henchmen before one of them shrugged and started pushing people outside. When Marigold noted that Adrien and Chloe were among those who left the building she let the air out. Only then she realized that she was holding her breath.

“It worked! We got thirty-three out. That’s over half of them.” Gordon shouted ecstatic. “You are a hero miss! Branden! You’ve got your green light!” 

The girl had enough. She hanged up and pocketed her phone. Still holding the sword, she walked into the elevator. Mari didn’t press any buttons, but she leaned over the wall and started whistling a lullaby her mother used to sing her when she had a nightmare.

The memory of a soothing voice that carried her to sleep many times allowed her nerves to settle. She could feel adrenaline slowly leaving her body. The tension left her muscles one by one and she slowly slid to the ground. 

“Tt. It’s safe to go down.” Robin startled her. She immediately jumped and pointed the sword at him. The boy was clearly unamused by being threatened with a ninjato… again. Mari lowered her weapon and pressed the button that would take them to the lobby. 

-----------------

When the doors opened, Mari was quickly tackled by a missile that was a worried Chloe Bourgeoise. “Mari! What were you thinking!?”

“I don’t know… Maybe that you were about to get shot?”

“Oh… right…” That shut Chloe up easily enough. 

“Excuse me, Miss Marinette?” An older man in a brown trench coat asked. He had a neatly cut beard and graying hair. “Commissioner Gordon. We spoke on the phone.” He extended a hand

“Ah. Yes. Thank you for trusting me.” Mari nodded and took the offered handshake.

“If not for you, casualties would definitely be higher.”

“Higher…” Mari repeated weakly.

“Oh! Um… Yes. I’m sorry, Miss. Some of our men got shot in the gunfight.”

“Will…” 

“There are also… Damn.” he rubbed the back of his neck.

“How many?” She could feel her eyes tearing.

“Three civilians and four security guards...”

“Seven…” She gave a barely audible whisper.

“I know this must be hard, but…”

Marigold was no longer listening. She left the building and walked to where the class was gathered.

“I’m telling you! She must be working with that madman. You’ve seen how quickly he trusted her!” Lila was talking loudly.

“Rossi.” The girl said in an emotionless voice. Kim and Ivan wanted to stand in her way like usual, but she pushed through them without breaking a sweat. 

“Didn’t you cause enough drama…” Lila never got a chance to end that sentence, because Mari delivered a straight one strong enough to send her flying several feet back before she came crashing down. Blood pouring from her nose.

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