#i get any constructive feedback and im like i never want to write again

[gadriezmannsgirl]

So im the anon who asked when you'll publish again cuz I missed it and I just wanna say sorry im so late but i jus saw ur post. BESTIE i dont even know where to begin. so first im gonna say i just read the new fermin fic and it was INCREDIBLE. SO CUTE. AND I LOVED IT. second, i want to give you my complete understanding. of course im not a writer but it takes very little empathy to understand why a lack of engagement would make you demotivated to write. im so sorry and im sure others here too that we dont give u the appreciation u deserve. for me personally, its the fact that im afraid to come off on anon and comment with my account, but i realize even i can give feedback through anon. whenever you are ready to come back, even sporadically, i will talk to u more here because u deserve to hear what we think of the fics u so cutely write for us to enjoy. let me just tell you for now that i have never found someone that does non smut in such a mature way. i cant even explain what i am thinking so bare with me i hope you get this. often i just want to read reality and what a real relationship with these boys are like. that's the stuff that makes me kick my feet and giggle fr. but you are one of the only ones that can do that in a way which is perfectly descriptive and realistic. your fic with Gavi for the fight after he waves a sandwich in your face??? BBG. i cant believe i never told u how much i loved that detail. of course it was a shit thing for his character to do but that is the kind of stuff that realistically happens in a relationship fight and leads to a silent treatment and argument -> discussion -> solution like in ur fic. i was reading it with my mouth covered like damn she got it JUST RIGHT. i legit read ur fics over and over they are so SO good and SO well crafted. i really feel like i am in these stories. and i know it wasn't your intent so please dont feel bad for your well deserved post to my anon note, but i feel so embarrassed that i never gave u the credit u deserve. please dont look at this anon and let it pressure u into writing again because that is nowhere near my intention. i just want to say take your time, relax and also GET READY. cz im gonna talk to u more and more like i should and all ur followers should. te queremos!!!!!!!!!!! i even learned some slang from ur culture clash fics

Hello dear anon! I hope you're doing great! :) First of all, I'm truly glad you liked the fermín fic and thank you for taking your time to write this lovely message, it means a lot💖

Thank you for also understanding my point of view, I don't really want to come off as rude or ungrateful, that's not my intention and it will never be. It's just really hard to come, write for hours, wanting to do something enjoyable for others and not get any feedback (I know it is not mandatory but it would be very nice for me and I can take constructive criticism to improve in new writings), but it's also something that it's going to the point where I reblog any ask game or tell you guys that I'm bored and wanna chat with any of you and only two or three asks pop up in my inbox (And I don't even know if those two-three asks are from the same person😭🤷🏻‍♀️) however when I post that my requests are open, I can assure you that my inbox can be 0 but once I come back +20 asks are in there and it makes me kinda feel like I'm just here to write. write. write. write and write😭

I also understand you, if I wasn't a writer here I would also go to my favorite writers inbox and tell them my thoughts as anon but like you said you're writing on anon, which means I don't know your account (or anyone who writes on anon) you could be also commenting on my post/reblogging/etc and I wouldn't even know it's you! Either way I respect that🙏🏻and I appreciate the fact you'll be on my inbox more often either if it's to rant about your day, talk about a fic or anything, even if I'm not as active with writing as I used to be, you can still sent me an ask and I will gladly answer you!🌻✨

I try my best to do the fics as realistic as possible, obviously I don't know the guys (sadly😭) but I try my best to imagine how they can be outside the pitch and insert that into a real life couple with ups and downs but gurrrllll you even made me go back and read the sandwich fic 😂lol. Anywho, I'm really glad you like my fics and go back to read them again when I'm away for a bit. Slang🇻🇪 is very chevere, hopefully I get to do once again Latina!reader😌 Once again thank you for your message and once more I don't want to be rude or ungrateful. 💜 yu guys too, hope you're having a great day/evening/night!

[kriimhild]

Im asking as anonymous because im have social angsiety and this is the only way i feel i can remotly do it i have debated around a month of how to just go about talking about this and today i tryed to join the security breach show server on discord and imiditly left cause of how scared i got i havent posted my own stuff on my blog bevause im scared and just wanted to know....how the heck do you do it how the heck do you have the courage to do what you do? Heck im trying to write i fan fiction only to scrap it like once every two days....

It's something that artists have to learn (if they want to). In order for people to remember you, they have to know you. And the easiest way to do that is to publish. I see a lot of people afraid to publish, and mostly because they're afraid of disappointment. The negative feedback they might get. All I can always say is think about what could happen. I've never written next to my drawings that I am in a developing phase, because I'll always be in a developing phase. Even now. But if you feel safer that way, Feel free to make a fine print stating that you are a beginner. But never write something like "I know I'm suck. Don't look at it, I'm so terrible." If someone still says it sucks, give a big, thicc shit. As long as they can articulate what they don't like about our art, we should be happy with that, because it smells like a constructive criticism, which is very important in development. And if all you get is "lol you suck, your art's suck!" kind of message, then…well…what do you do with that? Delete the hell out of it and ignore. Someone's not paying attention to what their kid's doing again. At the first hand, you work for your own entertainment. There'll be people who love you and protect from any bully. You know, one of the hardest things about being an artist is learning to hold up your middle finger when you need to. I'll tell you smth. My partner's one of the most serious critics I know. He looked at my recent animation and said it had little to do with the lyrics. Ngl, I felt like shit. It wasn't the art the main problem, but the fact that I can't English properly and I'm listening to the rhythm, because I'm an instrumental person. For almost two weeks I've been trying to figure out how the two are related. If it doesn't work out, I'll just do it the way I originally planned. The audience will decide if they like it. If not, I'll think about my next clips. Do whatever you want, it's your imagination, your hand, your pen.

(I found this on Twitter, and I love it) We try to keep the server safe and clean, and the whole staff puts a lot of work into making sure that everyone's comfortable and has a good time in the community. It's not easy, because every day more people join and it's harder and harder to keep an eye on everything. Nevertheless, we're trying. If someone behaves rudely, we'll look at them with an angry-mom looking. I think the server is a safe place for a young, fresh newcomer to get to know people. We can't look after artists one by one, but we try to give out support and advice as much as we can. I don't know how much this message has helped, but I hope that I've encouraged you to share whatever you have with the world.

[eternangl]

time for the 𝐑𝐔𝐋𝐄𝐒 ! 🪽 —

𖤐 first things first , as soon as my masterlist is made (im lazy rn sorry) it’ll be added to the bottom of this post. i think all my rules are pretty clear and should be common sense but please read through all of them before requesting or interacting with my page ! dont skip or skim.

໑ don’t copy my work. i’m not even that secure in my own work yet , so for someone to copy it would be rly annoying for me & embarrassing for them. also don’t translate , change , edit , or upload my work anywhere else. tumblr is the only platform i write on.

𖤐 dni (do not interact) if — you’re racist (im black & very proud + my y/n’s are usually also black coded) , under 18 (sorry not sorry but i write and interact with nsfw content, so it’s just awkward & inappropriate) , homophobic , fatphobic , sexist (any of the ists/isms/phobics tbh) , or simply a dickhead (ex : sending hate , starting drama — im not here for any negativity).

໑ i’ve been a reader for a long time & i’ve seen a lot of writers get bombarded with anonymous hate , so if you’re one of those you will be blocked. if ur gonna hate at least don’t be scary abt it :p

𖤐 i ask for feedback a lot , but that isn’t an invitation to harshly criticize me or my work. only constructive criticism (when asked) is allowed pls & thank you !

𝐉𝐔𝐒𝐓 𝐒𝐎 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐊𝐍𝐎𝐖 ..

໑ i’ve been wanting to write ever since i was 15 , and even though the type of writing i do on here is more of a hobby — i do take it srsly but i still wanna have fun ! + sorry in advance but i am a procrastinator/kind of a slow writer ..

𖤐 likes are appreciated , but (i learned recently) reblogs are better ! if u enjoy my work be sure to do both :p

໑ i never block anyone for no reason. if u find urself blocked & wanna know why or u can’t reach me , contact me here ! (my main @/anglism messages are for mutuals only! u are still free to send asks ofc)

info/rules for 𝐑𝐄𝐐𝐔𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐒 ! 🪽 —

𖤐 like i mentioned before , i am a slow writer. i can go for days at a time not writing (im trying to fix that) so keep that in mind when requesting. also , i may not write/create the thing you’re asking for. depending on a lot of things — if it interests me , if i don’t have time for it , etc. so please dont spam the same ask over and over again , or get upset with me. i am a human not a machine.

໑ i do/will age up characters , but only based on their canon birthdays. (ex : yuji was born in 2003 , so in a modern/future jjk au i would age him up.)

𖤐 my “y/n” (or reader) will usually be black coded & short , sometimes chubby as well bc that is what i most relate to ! i can try and keep it vague but im definitely (mostly) catering to my black girlies !

໑ what i will not write. —

amab/male reader , incest , necrophilia , r@pe , drugging , character x character , pegging , rim jobs , age regr. , ddlg , feet kinks , non-consenual recording , g@ng bangs , lactation/breast feeding , scat/piss kink , domestic abuse , pet play , mpreg , bestiality , eating disorders (an eating disorder page followed me a while ago & i dont fw that shit very specifically), master/slave , heavy bleeding/gore , suic*de.

𝐌𝐀𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐑 𝐊𝐄𝐘/𝐈𝐍𝐃𝐄𝐗 — aka my tags !

★ ˙.໑ . — 𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐦!

general tag for my main , every post (unless i forget) will have this.

★ ˙.໑ .🪽 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 — 📌 pinned!

you should only see this once, on my main pinned.

★ ˙.໑ .🪽 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 — 💌 fyp!

a reblog from my fyp specifically.

★ ˙.໑ .🏹 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 — { character name }

general tag for the specific character. (not always a written work, ex : my character boards.)

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general tag for my responses to anonymous asks.

★ ˙.໑ .🏹 𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 — { 💌 𝐌𝐔𝐓𝐔𝐀𝐋—mail }

general tag for my responses to my mutuals.

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general tag for my responses to asks that are neither anonymous or from mutuals.

🕯️ ˙.໑ . 🪽— #𝐍𝐀𝐕𝐈 !

navigation for both my main & sideblog.

⌨️ ˙.໑ . 🪽— #𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐔𝐏𝐃𝐀𝐓𝐄𝐒 !

specifically for my updates/rambles that mention something my followers should know/be updated on.

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specifically for a post that is a fic , oneshot , drabble , thirst. aka written by me !

🎐 ˙.໑ . 🪽— #𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐊𝐄𝐄𝐏𝐒𝐓𝐀𝐋𝐊𝐈𝐍𝐆 !

me talking .. :0

📸 ˙.໑ . 🪽— #𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐈𝐂𝐋𝐄𝐍𝐒

(lens) specifically for reblogged pictures , art , graphics , etc.

💌 ˙.໑ . 🪽— #𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋𝐑𝐄𝐁𝐋𝐎𝐆𝐒

general tag for anything i reblog.

🐈‍⬛ — 𝐞𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐠𝐥 ∞

general tag for my sideblog.

— tags are subject to change/new additions.

thats it for now , but im sure as (if) my page grows things will be changed + added ! ⇒ masterlist. (link will be added when its complete.)

©eternangl under anglism. — GO BACK IF YOU DID NOT FULLY READ MY RULES. PLEASE & TY !

[skadren]

I keep seeing a bunch of live and let go, boundaries are personal and not moral stances posts about writing and i largely agree ppl should be able to explore what they want in fic but also. Is there a way to balance or talk about "hi um white author so you kinda reinvented racism/blood eugenics and unilaterally present sex work as inherently degrading and etc etc etc for Shipping Angst Drama fodder, when the text is like. None of that" in fandom or even just in like. A server community. Maybe I'm a bit sensitive bc i feel constructed/projected misery is kind of tacky to begin with and i wouldn't do it with a complete stranger but idk my guy. I don't want to alienate myself but it's weird to go completely uncritical here

i think there are a couple items you need to check off the list before you can go "yes talking to internet stranger #37461239 about a highly sensitive topic is a good idea"

is it tagged appropriately? if it's tagged trust me the writer knows. they have probably gotten way more unsolicited feedback than they would really like

is the portrayal you're concerned about reinforcing an unhealthy or discriminatory predominant social narrative? if it is and you think the writer is genuinely unaware, then yeah, it might be worth bringing up. the emphasis here is on predominant please i am begging on my hands and knees

will this result in a productive conversation? if the intent behind this is to get people to reconsider, it isn't helping anyone if you know it will just lead to them doubling down and doing it even worse. at that point you're only making a performative statement to validate your own stance

if it really is bothering you that much, is there a compelling reason why you can't just block and move on? it isn't your responsibility nor is it feasible to fix how a fandom is doing things, especially if it's a group of people you don't really know. your own mental health always comes first, and a bit of salty venting in private with your friends never hurts anyone

if it IS a friend or acquaintance who is doing this and you think they would be open to discussing it with nuance, then you can probably bring it up. if that person has a basic level of consideration and respect for you it tends to go well, but i've also seen people double down because they already know there's something wrong with their attitudes but get mad at you for wanting them to change, and then it creates a whole ton of drama and people get hurt and it's not pretty. so. ymmv

ultimately, someone's views on racism or sex work or whatever is reflective of a broader social norm, and fandom is not the best space to try to fix that through confrontation-- it's usually someone's "safe space" where they want to retreat from the world, not come face-to-face with any sort of personal reckonings. do i think it's a mark of privilege that some people have the luxury of ignoring these issues when they "just want to have fun"? yes, but again, this is about being able to have productive discussion, not about what's "fair". unfortunately.

my two cents: if you're in a server community or some other space that makes you uncomfortable there's really nothing wrong with going "hey, we have fundamentally different standards when it comes to [x], and i don't think i want to be here" and moving on. the best way to challenge these things is quite literally to make your own food. there's a much better chance of the people you're worried about coming across it and realizing they like it than magically being able to argue them down with well-placed logic and reasonable points or whatever

EDIT: OH ALSO IM STUPID if you mean talking about it in general. not naming writer names but trends in the fandom. yes absolutely-- not in a public space like social media but definitely find a group of people who you trust who you can talk about these things with!! it is good and healthy. just make sure it isn't just a discord server open to the public or smth tho so you personally know and trust everyone who can see it (and you don't accidentally shit talk someone who is in that space lmao)

[breathplayed]

4, 6 & 8 💜

below cut to save dashboards!!

(4) what is the plot bunny you've been carrying the longest? ooouuuuhhh..... so many............ So many............ i have full fic outlines from 2017 LOL but the most viable one is a jikook au where they're both vampire hunters + jimin is Turned + jungkook swears to hunt him and be the one to kill him bc it's "what he would have wanted" some good ole lovers to enemies bullshit Once Again. every year since 2018 i've thought it'd be a fun three-part fic i could post for halloween and have never gotten around to it. lately i keep thinking it'd be good for an original novel (hello lesbians <3) but then i would have to actually worldbuild and write well which is daunting......... so back to the drawing board every time...... Maybe Some Day

(6) do you have any kind of consistent writing schedule or just hoping for the best? 💀 i always tell myself i will try to write a little bit every day, and there's been periods where that worked well enough for me, but tbh i write the best and most when i am daydreaming about a fic idea and get batshit possessed and fuel a Fixation. in those moments i am seized by insanity and sit down to write for about 4-6 hours straight in the dead of the night and manage several thousand words in one sitting. the record is 10k for DSD pt1 in like a day, and when i wrote the 90k fic that is WBIO in like 3 weeks off the high of not having any responsibilities in early lockdown (incl almost 20k in one sitting)

So kind of a mix.... When I have more free periods of the year i tell myself *trying* to stick to a schedule is good, like "ok i should go TRY to write at least a little every day, and if it doesn't work and im not feeling it today that's fine" but I can't lie, most of what I put out is the product of a feverish manic haze. Where i daydreamed too hard about a fic idea and accidentally came up with the whole plot and exact dialogue lines and need to bullet point it immediately before I forget it all. I am tormented by visions

(8) what’s your relationship with constructive criticism and feedback like? do you seek it out? how well do you take it? Constructive criticism: not exactly a fan unless I ask for it lol, just bc I think it's kinda rude to offer constructive criticism unless it's asked for? So I already automatically feel a lil cornered. I spent a year as an art major bringing paintings in for concrit sessions, I can take it, but that feels like a facilitated environment where I knew I was opening myself up to hear things so I could improve..... however, I'm not super interested in 'improving' writing beyond naturally improving by doing it.... bc it's just a hobby if that makes sense? I'm also usually super aware of how/where one of my fics is weak (example: i Know my worldbuilding and side characters and settings are not the most fleshed out, that I usually only focus on the main pairing/conflict and let everything else be a cardboard cutout, RIP) and just didn't put the work in to improve it bc I want to have Fun doing this hobby and struggling with fixing weaknesses is not super fun. Yes i am very lazy but it's ok it's fanfiction posted for free not something I'm trying to publish ukno. I'm a perfectionist in other ways! It balances out

Important to note I define constructive criticism as like "it would have been better if you did x instead" and a lot of times in fanfiction that's just people's personal tastes. I do consider everything readers say to me! Like someone said they didn't think the side characters served any point in "folie à trois" and it's just me inserting my faves, I Considered that opinion. There's been times I consider feedback and changed how I continued in a story, like in TLG people said they wanted more Jimin pov/motives and I said hmmm yeah that's valid I'll do more of that. In the aforementioned case for Folie, I considered it and decided (1) no, they're there for jk to see that Everyone is a lil fucked up and (2) it's my fic i can put my kpop girlies in it if i want lol. So sometimes 'concrit' is really just someone saying 'what you wrote wasn't to my personal taste' and not actually anything to do with the quality of the story/plot/style whatever itself.

Feedback overall tho, I do always want to hear from readers!!??! How a story made them feel especially. Tbh , TLDR, I think it really depends on the tone.... My relationship to it is on a case by case basis..... like I'm fine hearing that a character/plot frustrated someone, that they disagree with a character's actions, etc.... because that's Conflict in the story and I think good writing makes the reader Feel something..... it really just depends on what is being offered? if something is obviously mean spirited (which I have gotten) or offering concrit without asking like telling me "btw this would have read better if you didn't write like a possessed failed poet" i'm like ok well i have no plans on improving that. I am down to clarify any points of confusion on a scene/character/etc but I will not be improving. Lol

I hope that makes sense sorry I rambled as always. I took one of my adhd meds for the first time in weeks and now I am tachycardic and overexplaining myself worse than usual. Thank u for the ask <3

[keichanz]

Mistake

kay so i really don't care if some of this doesn't make sense because this is the first thing i've written in a while that i don't absolutely hate. well this version at least. ending up scraping the first draft because it just seemed wrong and went in a different direction. im glad i did cause im happy with it.

anyway i realize that this may not get much feedback because i took a different approach to it, aka the entire pov is from an OC but i can't bring myself to care too much because i wrote this purely for myself. got inspired, started writing, and i actually liked the content i was writing. end of.

btw the oc doesn't refer to inuyasha as a half-demon because he's unaware he is one and i was too lazy to delve into those waters anyhow.

also for the sake of this oneshot pls dont look too closely at the ranks of diplomat and ambassador. i was too lazy to put much research regarding positions of power so just...go with it.

inspired by @stillunderyourbed​'s art that can be found here.

It was…quaint. Smaller than what he'd expected. The housing structures looked subpar, there didn't appear to be any wooden walkways, and he could detect the distinct odor or fish in the air with hints of manure. There even seemed to be a perpetual dust cloud hovering at about waist high, thickening from the numerous carts, wagons, horses, and villagers kicking up dirt as they went about their daily lives. Already he felt like there was a layer of dust caked on the inside of his lungs and he wasn't even inside yet.

All in all, it was your typical countryside village, home to simple folk that made a living off of fishing, farming, and trade. The diplomat sneered in disgust. For being the rumored home of the creature strong enough to destroy the despicable Naraku, the village was…less than impressive. And to say that he was underwhelmed would be a vast understatement.

Shifting atop his mount, a chestnut gelding that had been his faithful companion for the last four years, Takeji frowned as he surveyed the sight before him. It was early afternoon, so men were out working in the fields, women were chatting amongst themselves as they laundered clothing at the river, and children were running about, playing and laughing while dogs barked at their heels. He could see the great red torii gate and the stone staircase that led to the shrine and he could hardly refrain from rolling his eyes.

The village was obviously poor, possibly even teetering on the edge of poverty, and instead of feeding themselves for a good long while, they decided to construct that monstrosity. He would never understand the minds of simple common folk. Daft. All of them.

Barely keeping himself from scowling, Takeji reluctantly climbed off his mount and forced himself to move forward into the pathetic excuse for a village. Already he knew he would have to burn his expensive attire; there would be no getting the dust and stench out of it after his ghastly visit. A visit he had not wanted to make, but being a highly revered and prestigious diplomat, it was his duty to travel to far off lands in hopes of establishing a profitable relationship that would ultimately benefit his homeland.

Although, looking around and fighting against the urge to retch at both the nauseating stench and the mere sight of all the unwashed villagers milling around, Takeji wondered not for the first time why he even bothered to accept this task. True, it was said the slayer of Naraku did hail from here, but surely having his homeland associated with this hovel would garner nothing but loss. So why had he agreed to come?

Oh, yes, he mused, grimacing as he stepped over a large manure pile right in the middle of the road. Because apparently, being all chummy with the nation's hero will allow us to have him at our beck and call, because who doesn't want a powerful demon capable of slaying the most evil demon in all of existence as an intimidating presence during negotiations, and let's not forget he alone would be equal to about one hundred soldiers in battle.

Rolling his eyes, Takeji tied his mount to a hitching post, withdrew his satchel with all the necessary paperwork, and set about finding this Inuyasha fellow. He'd been told the demon wore scarlet robes, carried a sword at his hip, and had white hair so no doubt he would stick out like a sore thumb amongst the droll browns and grays of the common folk, which suited him just fine. The sooner he was done, the sooner he could leave because there was no way he was staying even a second more in this village than he had to. Even if the next inn was hours away, he'd make the journey; the inn here was probably as unclean and riddled with bed bugs or something. Ugh. How vile.

Shrugging the satchel over his shoulder, Takeji bit back a groan, sighed, and hadn't even made it a single step before the sound of screaming froze him in his tracks. He gasped and immediately started looking for the danger, body tense, preparing to hop back onto his steed lightning fast and make a hasty getaway.

But as he looked around with wide eyes and a frantically beating heart, Takeji couldn't help but notice that he was the only one that appeared to have heard the sound of terror. The villagers were just continuing to go about their day, calm as you please, either severely deaf or completely uncaring. Takeji was beginning to wonder if he was perhaps hearing things when it happened again, a high-pitched sound that he realized with dread belonged to a child.

Takeji gaped. A child was in danger and nobody cared?! What kind of village was this?! Another shriek pierced the air, and Takeji made a decision. Very well; if these imbeciles weren't going to do anything about it, then he himself would see to the danger. While by no means a swordsman or warrior, he did have some weapons training he could fall back on for this precise reason. Traveling alone was dangerous, and you never knew what you would encounter.

Resolved, the diplomat set his jaw, unsheathed the dagger at his waist, and darted toward the direction the screams were coming from. He meandered between houses, hoped over lazing dogs, dodged startled villagers in his path, and he came into a small clearing by the forest's edge. The sight that greeted him was…not what he expected.

Coming up short, Takeji watched with a befuddled frown as one child chased around two other, slightly older looking children. One might think they were playing a game of sorts, and the diplomat started to believe that was indeed the case…until the one doing the chasing, clad in red, suddenly jumped high into the air, over the heads of the other two children, and landed before them with hands raised.

Hands, Takeji noticed with growing dread and disgust, tipped with claws on each finger and he quickly realized what exactly was happening. That wicked little demon brat, that creature was toying with those helpless children! It was keeping them trapped, preventing them from running away by leaping over their heads and blocking their route of escape! They screamed, the demon child laughed, and so potent was his fury, so enraged was he for the fact that the villagers apparently did not care about what was happening right beneath their noses, Takeji failed to notice the wide smiles on all three of the young one's faces. The blood pounding in his ears prevented him from hearing the gleeful giggles as the two human kids scrambled away from the one clad in red, and without another thought, Takeji moved.

"Run, children!" Takeji ordered as he hurled himself into the clearing, dagger raised as he charged toward the demon brat with a baleful glare. "I will take care of his filthy animal!"

All three children froze in place, eyes wide as Takeji inserted himself between the two human children - twin girls, he idly noted - and the demon spawn that dared raised its claws toward them. The brat stared up at him with big brown eyes and it - she - actually looked confused. Takeji scowled. He would not fall for such a ploy.

"I will not allow you to harm them," he spat and pointed his dagger at her. The child blinked at him and then looked behind him at the two girls who still had not taken the chance to flee. In shock, perhaps? Stunned? No matter; they were safe, so long as he stood between them and the threat.

The demon child made a face and started to walk around him, completely disregarding the weapon trained on her, but Takeji shifted and stopped her once more. He heard the two behind him whispering as the spawn looked up at him once again, this time frowning at him with narrowed eyes. And was that a growl he heard? He snorted. Was she actually trying to appear threatening? Pathetic.

Scowling, Takeji lifted a foot, placed it on her stomach, and shoved. The demon gasped as she stumbled back and then landed on her behind with a small grunt. He heard a gasp from behind him, urgent whispering, and then hurried scrambling. A glance over his shoulder told him they'd finally gotten wise and ran away. He nodded. Good. Now he could deal with this vermin without innocent eyes to bear witness.

But as he stared down at the pathetic sight before him, Takeji wondered maybe if such measures would even be necessary. The beast was still lying where she had fallen and was staring up at him with wide eyes brimming with…wait. What? Were those tears? Oh, you have got to be joking.

Rolling his eyes, the diplomat scoffed at the pathetic play for mercy and careless waved his dagger at her. The child actually flinched and followed the blade with her gaze, wariness clear in her eyes. Well. It appeared her self-preservation instincts have finally kicked in.

"Cease your theatrics," Takeji drawled, unimpressed. "They do not fool me. Now lucky for you, demon spawn, the pathetic sight you project has made me decide to spare your life. Your tainted blood is not worthy enough to soil my blade, so I will say this only one and you would do well to heed this warning, beast."

Hardening his stare and curling his lip into a sneer, Takeji spat, "Leave this place at once and do not return. There is no place for the likes of you, an abomination that preys on helpless children. Now get out of my sight, afore I kill you on principle. Your vile presence disgusts me."

The child grunted and Takeji watched, stone faced, as she got to her feet. Then to his surprise the little demon balled her hands into fists at her sides and glared at him, but the effect was ruined by the tears he could clearly see brimming her eyes. He cocked a brow, unmoved. She sniffled once, twice, and then to his utter surprise and bafflement, her face suddenly crumbled, her lower lip trembled, and she promptly burst into loud tears before spinning on her heel and running away.

"P-Papaaaaaaaaaaa!"

Takeji frowned. Papa? Were the brat's kin nearby, then? Body tense and weapon raised, he waited, prepared to either fight or flee - because he wasn't a fool and knew when he was in over his head - but when no demons came bursting out of the tree line, Takeji slowly relaxed.

Bewildered and more than a little annoyed at the whole debacle - what a waste of time! - the diplomat scoffed in derision as he turned to watch the little demon brat scurry away. And then right at that exact moment, a figure donned in red dropped to the ground seemingly out of nowhere and Takeji felt a wave of relief sweep through him. Finally! This had to be his demon quarry.

Nodding, Takeji stepped forward and opened his mouth to call out a greeting—

And then froze in his tracks as the greeting abruptly died on his tongue. Because the little demon girl, the one he'd just pointed his weapon at and shoved to the ground, ran straight to the figure robed in red and Takeji could do naught but watch with a growing sense of horrified dread as the older demon knelt down to take the child into his arms.

All color promptly drained from his face and Takeji suddenly felt sick to his stomach. He glanced behind the pair and he was somehow not at all surprised to find the twin girls from earlier glaring at them and holding onto the skirts of their mother with a monk garbed in violet robes beside her. They too were staring at him in a not so friendly manner, but upon returning his gaze to the two demons, Takeji numbly thought that if looks could kill, he would surely be dead by now.

Because the demon robed in red - which was now unmistakably the child's father and none other than Inuyasha, the demon he'd come here for - was glaring absolute murder at him and it was obvious that he was. Not. Pleased.

Takeji swallowed and unconsciously backed up a step. With one small hand fisting her father's robes, the child had the other pointing an accusatory finger at him as she no doubt recited to him their earlier…ah, exchange. Inuyasha said nothing in response, but he didn't need to. The deep, nearly subsonic growl that erupted from his mouth, complete with fully bared fangs in a truly fearsome snarl, told him very clearly of his thoughts on his daughter's mistreatment by him.

Which, if Takeji had to guess, were not very Takeji-friendly. At all.

Somehow managing to fight against the urge to flee, Takeji swallowed hard as Inuyasha pushed to his feet and stalked toward him with that same murderous look on his face. Something told him, perhaps some deeply rooted self-preservation instinct, that if he even tried to run right then, it would not end well for him. So he remained where he was and tried valiantly to control the trembling in his body as he slowly, very slowly, tucked his dagger back from whence it came.

Inuyasha stopped in front of him and Takeji cleared his throat before attempting a placating smile, but it looked more like a grimace than anything. "Ah…I assume you are…In—"

One second Takeji was staring into the scowling features of one pissed off dog demon. The next there was a bright flash of light and then he was staring at the business end of a very large and very sharp sword. With the tip just a hair's breadth away from his nose, Takeji gasped sharply and stumbled back a step out of instinct.

Sweet merciful heavens! How—?

"Usually I'd ask who the fuck you are," the demon growled, his eyes twin slits of baleful gold. "But honestly, I can't really bring myself to care enough to know the name of the asshole who threatened my daughter when she was doing nothing but playing with her friends."

Takeji blanched for the second time and he could actually feel himself breaking out in a cold sweat. He fucked up. Oh dear god he'd fucked up so bad—

"There's—there's been a misunderstanding," Takeji tried in a voice higher than usual, raising his hands up in what he hoped was a placating gesture as he eyed the very sharp point of that blade. "I—I admit I've made a grave mistake—"

"Shut the fuck up and tell me why I shouldn't gut you where you stand," Inuyasha hissed, lips feeling back off his fangs in another fierce snarl. With his ears pinned back and those golden eyes glaring absolute death at him, the demon made quite the menacing picture. Takeji had the brief, if a bit ludicrous thought, that perhaps the demon Naraku perished from the sheer animosity that was coming off of the silver-haired demon in waves.

Swallowing once, twice, Takeji realized that he only had his quick wit to get him out of his certain predicament. So bracing himself, he opened his mouth—

"He's from the continent, Inuyasha. You can't hurt him."

Startled hazel eyes swung toward the source of the voice but amber eyes stayed locked on their target, the only acknowledgment of the voice a flick of an ear.

The owner of the voice the human diplomat could only presume was the child's mother, as the child in question was standing behind her legs and was actually smirking at him. He frowned.

"You're from Shenshi," the woman remarked and Takeji swung his gaze back to her. "Right?"

Though her expression wasn't openly friendly, it wasn't exactly unfriendly either, however the human diplomat still felt he needed to tread carefully. Because while her face didn't betray anything, her stare was hard and her mouth had tightened into a thin, flat line. She had one hand on her daughter's head while the other clutched a longbow, and belatedly he realized she had a quiver of arrows slung across her back. He barely held in a flinch as he realized this was one of the demon's companions that had assisted in slaying Naraku, possibly the young woman in which Inuyasha held a more meaningful relationship.

A much more meaningful relationship, if the child currently glaring daggers at him was anything to go by since she was more or less living proof of it.

Wonderful. So he'd gone and threatened the only child of two of the most powerful beings in Japan. Clearly he'd stepped over the wrong grave and pissed somebody off.

Clearing his throat and aiming a strained smile toward the woman who was still awaiting his reply, Takeji nodded once. "Ah, y-yes, my lady. I'm—"

"The diplomat Ambassador Sharaku sent to convince Inuyasha to join his ranks so he'd have the support and protection of 'The Great Slayer of Naraku.'" The woman raised a delicate brow at him. "How am I doing so far?"

Takeji had the good grace to look a mite sheepish. "Ah…well—"

"You can't kill him, Inuyasha," she repeated and Takeji thought she sounded disappointed. "If he goes missing, the ambassador will send his troops to find out what happened or if he returns injured, it could be taken as an insult and you can imagine what would happen after that. You would risk mine or Moroha's life like that, and you know it."

Inuyasha growled but said nothing to refute her words, so Takeji assumed he agreed.

"He threatened her, Kagome," the demon spat, inching the blade closer to his throat and Takeji flinched. "Called her a fucking animal, shoved her down, and waved a goddamn dagger in her face! You can't honestly expect me to let that—"

"Papa," the child - Moroha - suddenly said, successfully stalling her father's angry tirade. A quick glance revealed the girl, still sticking close to her mother, was staring at the older demon with big brown eyes, bright with the threat of tears as she worried her bottom lip. And evidently the sight was enough to calm the raging storm of Inuyasha's fury because he grimaced, released a low growl, and then Takeji watched in stunned amazement as the massive sword suddenly transformed into a rusty katana before it was sheathed at his hip.

With a weapon no longer at his throat, Takeji could breathe a little easier and he released a breath he hadn't even been aware he'd been holding. But then he sucked it right back in when Inuyasha suddenly stepped in close and got in his face, a low, threatening growl leaking past rightly clenched teeth bared in another snarl. Golden eyes bore into his own, filled with a lethal warning that had the human male's back straightening and his blood to run cold in his veins.

"You listen carefully, asshole," Inuyasha hissed, glaring so heatedly it was a wonder Takeji didn't burst into flame. "Don't you dare think that my wife's words have any sort of sway over my decision to spare your pathetic life. I'm not scared of your weakling ambassador and I sure as hell ain't scared of his little human army. No, the only reason that I let you live is because I don't want my daughter, the one you foolishly threatened when she had done nothing wrong, to see me sully my hands with your disgusting blood when I reduce you to nothing more than a bloody smear on the ground."

Takeji paled and swallowed thickly. That particular image was…not pleasant.

Inuyasha watched the color drain from his face. Satisfied, he sneered before saying in a growl filled with sinister promise, "Now get the fuck outta my village and if you ever touch my daughter again, I'll gut you so fast you won't even have time to fucking scream."

Then with that, Inuyasha leveled him with one last dark scowl before spinning on his heel and stalking away, a clear dismissal. Neither mother nor daughter even spared the frozen human male a glance as Inuyasha paused to pick his daughter up into his arms before striding away, his wife close to one side and his friends on the other.

From over his shoulder, Takeji could only watch in a mixture of shock and befuddlement as the little demon girl named Moroha smirked and then stuck her tongue out at him, safe and sound in her father's arms.

Left standing in a state of numb bewilderment, Takeji blinked, looked down at himself, and had the passing thought that it was a very good thing he'd decided to wear brown trousers that day.

[kuroo-shitsurou]

Auxilium (College!Xiao x College!Reader)

TW: mentions blood, depression, anxiety

note: it's my first time writing and posting something on tumblr so im sorry if it's bad!! reader is gn hehe.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick. Humans make decisions that eventually shape their personalities. What does a new year have anything to do with that? Does a change in the year automatically make you a good person? Does it make you less of an asshole than you might already be? He never really understood.

He found it rather silly, actually. Whenever a new year rolls around, Xiao would mutter silent curses to himself because he'd write the wrong year on his papers. Other than that, there wasn't any significant changes he made in his daily routine. He was still the same Xiao; The same anxious, mildly depressed, and coffee-high art major Xiao.

Now, Xiao was a respected figure in their college (or at least, that's what he was told). He was one of the most talented artists at Tokyo University, and professors have been eyeing him for a scholarship overseas (he, along with his brooding and mysterious senior, Diluc). His keen eye for details always produce great results as most of his portraits are featured in the university's gallery of students' greatest works. Not to mention, one of his larger canvas works were displayed at the Tokyo Museum, making him one of the youngest artists to have their art showcased there.

Admittedly, Xiao was aware of how people admired his talent. Unfortunately, due to a rough childhood where his parents barely showed him any love and affection, he had trouble reflecting his true emotions onto other people. That's why other art majors often labelled him as a self-absorbed, egotistical prick.

Xiao was the last person you'd want to compliment. It's not that he'd be a dick about it or that he'd scowl at you and act as if he was better than you in every way possible. It wasn't like that at all. It's simply because Xiao doesn't know how to handle compliments. He'll still keep his stoic face, lips pressed in a straight line, but deep inside, he'd be flustered to bits. He'd try to internalize his reply, stitching together the right words to express his gratitude, but it would always take him a few minutes. The person who complimented him would've already left after he finally constructed the sentence in his head. Not that he wasn't used to it

This led to Xiao earning his current reputation, as stated earlier. He was already expecting the rest of his college years to be spent alone in his studio, working on his artworks during the wee hours of the night, high on the fumes of his paint palette and his exhausted coffee machine.

Until you came.

Kaoru was... eccentric. You were loud, you were moody. He felt like you'd be the type of person he'd hate dealing with just because you was unpredictable. You were like the rain, and Xiao hated the rain.

He must have an Archon's cursed tongue, because he got paired up with you during the first semester of their second year in college. You were a familiar name to him, as you were in the same course since the first year, but he barely knew anything about you since you were in different classes.

"Hey, Xiao! I'm _____. I hope we can be good friends by the end of the semester!" His memory of your bright smile still remains vivid in his head. He wasn't really a brooding type like Diluc, but Xiao liked to believed that he presented himself as a silent person who had no intentions of interacting with other people. So, how were you so bubbly around him? Because she was forced to do so? You were to be his partner for the whole semester, after all. Maybe it was all formalities. Yeah, that's probably it.

"Hm." Xiao gave a nod in her direction, acknowledging your existence. you heard from your friends that the young artist didn't have a pleasing personality, but you weren't expecting to be shutdown from the get-go.

"Mind if I sit beside you?"

Again, a light nod.

You felt the awkward tension between you and Xiao, and you hated it. You were a person who hated it when people are uncomfortable in your presence. You didn't want to be a bother, and you did your best to make everyone like you. Not that you were a people pleaser, nor an attention hog, but you just wanted to get along with everyone.

The lecture was going to begin in twenty minutes, so the lecture hall was yet to be filled with people. You took the opportunity to strike up a conversation with the amber eyed man beside you, who was typing away on his laptop. Something about color theory and how it affects the perspective of people on different art types? You couldn't really see that well. He was a fast typer.

"So, Xiao, I heard that your painting was displayed in the Tokyo Museum last year. It must have been an honor. I was at the unveiling last year and I saw it up-close." You started off, testing the waters.

"And what did you think of it?" Xiao cringed internally. He meant to genuinely ask for your feedback regarding his art, but it sounded so harsh that he wanted to punch himself when he saw you wince (or maybe you shuddered because it was cold and you were wearing a sleeveless top? His nerves were getting the better of him at this point).

"Well, a lot of my friends told me that it wasn't anything special,"

Ouch.

"It was a large canvas. I can still remember how it looks. But, maybe that's because I'm at the museum every two weeks," You laughed. You noticed how Xiao's breathing noticeably changed after you started your sentence, and you have to admit that it sounded a bit too mean.

"You know, Xiao. My friends told me that your art was simple. Anyone could have done it. But honestly, they couldn't be more wrong. I love how your piece was painted. Auxilium. I'll never forget what you called it. That's... Help, right?"

At first, Xiao didn't want to listen to this person ramble about an art piece he made during one of the lowest points of his life.

His anti-depressants had run out during that one Christmas. It was 2:47 in the morning. He had morning classes the following day. He had a project to submit, but he was unable to continue working because of the unbearable pain in his chest. His head was throbbing. Voices were invading his mind. Flashbacks of his parents' negligence taunted him. He rushed to grab a glass of water, chugging it down in almost three chugs. He slammed the glass back onto the counter, smashing it into tiny little splinters and cutting himself in the process. His hand was bleeding, there were bits of glass on his counter and on his floor, but he couldn't care less. He was heaving, his breathing was unsteady, he wanted to die right then and there. His vision became blurry, but he rushed back to his studio.

With a bleeding hand, he picked up his brush and began to tear into his canvas. Not literally, but he started to create strokes onto the blank canvas. Different colors, different textures (he swore some of his blood got blended in with the area where he painted the sunrise, but it's fine. No one was going to notice, right?). He screamed and cried, wanting to throw the entire easel out his window.

It was Christmas. He was alone in his apartment. His anti-depressants ran out. He was having a panic attack.

That night led him to having one of the worst breakdowns he could remember, but he also ended up with a gorgeous painting that nabbed him a place in the Tokyo Museum.

"Help," Your voice echoed in his ears, snapping him out of his trance.

"People can tell me that it's nothing more than a simple painting, but the way that the sunrise was only showing in a segmented part of the canvas? The way that there were hints of red? It kind of reminded me how a new day can resemble hope but still contain hurt. Like, the promise of a fresh start isn't guaranteed a good one, right?"

Your words rang in his ears like a gong being hit continuously. He wanted to cry. People always complimented him and congratulated him about being recognized by art critics and national museums, but none of them ever really stopped to talk to him about his art. They were there for his recognition- not his work.

"I mean, you could begin with a fresh start, but wouldn't the remnants of yesterday still take a toll on your tomorrow?"

"Hm. Interesting take. To be honest, those specks could have been my blood." Xiao spoke up, to your surprise. A small smile formed on your face. Maybe this guy wasn't so bad after all.

"My hand was cut up when I was painting that," He added quietly, not mentioning why his hand was in that state. "I think I accidentally added too much concentrated red. I couldn't blend it out the way I originally planned."

"Oh? But that makes it all the more great, though!" You beamed, "Maybe it was an Archon guiding you? I don't really believe in that stuff, but acknowledging some divine intervention once in a while can't be all bad, no?" You laughed.

"I guess you're right." For the first time in a while, Xiao actually gave someone else a small smile. It wasn't really a smile per se, but his lips curved even the slightest bit upward, and you decided that it was a win for you.

-

Fast forward to the second semester of their third year.

Late February was never a good time for Xiao.

It was the second month of the year; People were starting to adjust and adapt to the ever-changing and progressing timeline. Although, he never really understood the concept of the "New year, new me!" shtick.

It had been years since he was clinically-diagnosed with mild depression. So, why was he still that way? Shouldn't new years help him be a better person? Or something like that. Why was he still like this?

Late February meant the end of one semester, and the start of another.

What else did that mean?

His semestral feedback report (he refused to call it a report card. What was he, high school?).

"Xiao? Are you here? I bought almond tofu from Xiangling's place. Sorry for barging in, you weren't answering my calls." He heard your voice from the kitchen and he glanced at the clock on his studio's wall.

1:37 AM.

You were at Xiangling's place because you were working on a report about the history of acrylic paints or whatever it was. You were supposed to go home, but you still dropped by his apartment. He checked his phone.

[ 14 missed calls. ]

Yikes.

"I'm here." He answered meekly, but loud enough for you to hear. He felt tired. Defeated, maybe. He was blankly staring at the canvas in front of him. He has sketched the base of your face and upper body. He was planning on painting a portrait of his beloved to decorate his room with, but he couldn't find the energy to continue.

He could hear the soft "thud"s of your feet walking from the kitchen towards the studio, but he tuned it out with an annoying static he could only hear in his head.

Fuck. Where are they?

He rushed to the drawer next to his easels and rummaged around in a panic.

Where the fuck are they?

He kept a few anti-depressants in his studio because he spends most of his time here and he didn't have time to rush to the kitchen to get them if he ever got a panic attack.

"Fuck!" He cursed loudly, throwing the contents of his desk onto the floor. Some of his paintbrushes scattered on the wooden floor of his studio, marking the wood various colors. Maybe they're going to stain, but he didn't really care.

Xiao heard the footsteps retreating until he couldn't hear anything else except the constant ringing in his ears. It was annoying. It was loud. It started to make him want to split his head open.

"_____," He whispered, feeling his chest hurt and his throat tighten. The passageways helping him breathe seemed to close themselves, giving him a hard time and mocking him. It was coming back again.

Tears started to flood his vision, and they rolled down his red cheeks. He took the ponytail out of his hair and used two hands to tug at his locks starting from the roots. His breathing patterns became more erratic, but he tried his best to stay calm.

His knees and legs felt like jelly. He had to lean against the desk to avoid from toppling over.

Why? Why again? Why now? Why when you were here?

He screamed. It was loud enough for the neighbors to hear, but his care for any external entities was out the window the moment his eyes became blurry with tears.

Even though he was leaning against the desk, his legs still couldn't hold the weight of his entire body. His knees dropped to the floor, and he swore he must've dented the wood below, but he paid no mind to it. His knees were also aching, but he could deal with that later. He bent down and pressed his forehead to the floor.

"_____," He whispered again, longing for his partner. "Auxilium."

"Xiao?" The voice was muffled. His eyes were glued to the floor in front of him, but he knew it was you.

"Xiao, stay with me, honey." There was a hint of panic evident in your voice, but he was glad that you didn't let that get the best of you. You was still somewhat calm.

You kneeled down beside him, helping him back to an upright position.

"Honey, you left these on the counter outside." You handed him two tablets of his anti-depressants, and he gladly placed them in his mouth. You also gave him a glass of water, and he downed it in two swift gulps. Afraid that he might underestimate his strength, he returned the glass back to you instead of setting it down himself, nodding at you in the process.

You got into a more comfortable position where you rested your back against the wall, and you guided Xiao to follow you. It was a difficult task; He was very sensitive during his panic attacks.

His semestral feedback reports always made him anxious. He didn't have to please his parents anymore since he moved out years ago, but Xiao had this nagging feeling inside of him to do better with his academics. Nobody was really pressuring him to be a straight-A student, but did he feel like he needed to be? Who was he trying to prove himself to anyway? You knew about his sever panic attacks and how they were more active if he had a big event coming up. The first time you had to deal with it, you were still stiff and trying to learn how you could help. Now, you takes pride in yourself for being able to handle him in the ways you know would help him the most.

"Here you go, I've got you." You cooed, assisting him with moving. You laid his head flat on her lap and she began stroking his beautiful, tousled forest green locks. The highlights he had under the first layer of his hair started to fade, and you made a mental note to take him to a salon so they could get their highlights redone.

"You know, I've been listening to a lot of Coldplay lately," You started speaking, as if Xiao wasn't about to have a full-on panic attack. "Yellow would have to be one of my favorite songs. I guess it's kinda cheesy, but can you blame me?"

You used your free hand to wipe the tears from his cheeks.

"Look at the stars, look how they shine for you." You began singing, voice just above a whisper.

"And everything you do. Yeah, they were all yellow."

Xiao was a reserved person who had a hard time dealing with other people because of his inferiority complex that sprouted when he was young.

"I came along, I wrote a song for you."

He didn't have love and affection growing up. He didn't know how to be the best person to talk to. He had poor communication skills. He was a mess, to be honest.

"And all the things you do. And it was called yellow."

You were the first person who looked past his rough and tough exterior. You were the person who showed interest not just in his name- but in him as a whole.

"So when I took my turn, what a thing to've done."

"Thank you," He murmured silently, noticing that the ringing in his ears vanished. His throat was beginning to open again, and he could finally feel the steady heartbeat he had in his chest.

"And it was all yellow."

Xiao curled himself into a ball, burying his face in your clothed stomach. You smelled a bit like smoke (maybe you ate yakiniku at Xiangling's?) and your faded cologne. It smelled like home. It washed a sense of relief over his entire being. He felt safe. He felt secure. He was being held like a child, but he didn't really mind. Maybe he needed this.

"Your skin. Oh yeah, your skin and bones,"

You craned your neck downwards to look at Xiao's figure. He finally looked peaceful. You knew about his rough past. You knew about the trauma he had to go through, but you chose to look past it because you knew that he was just afraid and... alone. He needed someone to be there for him, and you would rather the world die than leave him alone ever again.

"Turn into something beautiful."

You noticed how his chest started a rhythmic pattern of ups and downs. His breathing was finally steady. He looked at peace. He looked like he was right at home.

"Do you know? You know I love you so."

You couldn't help but chuckle as you watched him sleep in your lap. How could anyone think that this softie was an asshole?

"You know I love you so."

You barely whispered the last part of the song, but it was loud enough for his heart to hear it. Xiao hated when things were unpredictable; that's why he hated the rain. But now, maybe the idea of rain wasn't so bad. Especially since you were his rain.

"I love you, Xiao."

At that moment, you knew that the involuntary smile on Xiao's face was a response that contained more emotions than his words could ever bear.

"I love you too."

[liquorisce]

don't stop, said she

rating: E (nsfw, 18+ only)

pairing: eren x mikasa, snk

summary: ... He likes seeing her like this, spread out on the table in front of him, naked and breathless. (pwp)

a/n: this is written for eremikasmutweek2021 (on twitter), and really, its an excuse to a) indulge in horny EM and b)practice writing smut - this was the result of a 1h writing sprint

(ao3) / pt 2 / pt 3

He likes seeing her like this, spread out on the table in front of him, naked and breathless.

What he likes even more is her squirming, squirming under the restraints of the rope that ties her ankles to the legs of the table, pulling against the ties that restrain her wrists above her head.

She isn't used to being unable to do anything physically, and it wracks her nerves. She shows her discomfort (with her lack of control) by the way she struggles, hands pulling, breasts thrusting in the air, as her gray eyes watch him in anticipation and helplessness.

He's spent so many nights with her (with her body), lost in their passion, but he appreciates this new dynamic, this powerplay... likes watching the lines and curves that make up Mikasa Ackerman.

He watches the pretty flush rise on her neck as she attempts to raise herself and make eye contact. "This is a bit tighter than I imagined, Eren," -

There’s really no point to anything she might say, that she can't move, or that she’s frustrated, he can see it, and he enjoys it, so instead he cuts her off and says, “... Did I ask you to get up?”

“... I, I can’t see you from over here,” and it's true, she can't, because she's spread on her back on the wooden table, legs and arms firmly restrained, and even straining to look at him where he stands is a task.

“But I can see just fine.” He pauses, his eyes darkening as he traces a finger across the inside of her thighs (she shivers) “... and that’s all that matters, right?”

His fingers move almost carelessly, flitting across her folds. He's barely touched her, but he can feel her heat, her wetness, dripping down her legs. “... You’re leaking on to the table, Mikasa,” he smirks, green eyes clearly enjoying the embarrassment on her features. “... I’m gonna have to make you clean this up, later.”

He thrusts two fingers into her without warning. The honest, surprised, and ashamed cry that escapes her lips, makes his mouth water. He is torn between finishing this play, between enjoying the torment of the woman in front of him, completely at his mercy, and just giving in to the desire to consume those little pleas with his mouth.

He moves leisurely as she gasps, little broken cries of his name, setting a pace that was deep, but maddeningly slow. “... Open your mouth,” he murmurs, and he traces the two fingers that were inside her on her lips, and watches as her tongue peeks out of her own volition. She licks them shamelessly, and without deliberate sensuality (because Mikasa never needs to try) and he feels his breathing quicken.

He leans over and kisses her messily, despite himself, because he can’t help himself after the show that he’s witnessed, and he can taste the tang of her juices along with her passion. She kisses him desperately, because this is the most contact she’s had with him, and she wants more than just his fingers, she wants all of him, and she tries to tell him, with her mouth and her body. “Eren,” she gasps, attempting to press her bare breasts against him, “... take off your pants, please,” - and he squeezes, hard, “... I want to feel you.”

“... So greedy,” he murmurs, as he steps back from her and resumes his position at the end of the table. “But we agreed, didn’t we?” He spreads her legs further, appreciating the sight between her legs, “... it isn’t about what you want. And me... I just want to taste you.”

Her complaining settles down into a soft gasp, as Eren touches her with his tongue. First on the outer folds of her lips, and then inside, probing, tasting and licking. When he comes up for her air, she’s panting and the rope around her wrists have begun to mark her struggles.

(Despite her outward struggle, there's something about her own obedience, about pleasing eren, that pleases her)

He licks his lips, wiping away the mess she’s made on his face. “... Please,” she whines, and he takes a finger to press on her sensitive spot, applying the pressure he knows she likes.

“Please”, he mocks, “... What are you pleading for, Mikasa?” He doesn’t get an answer from her apart from incoherent panting, eyes shut, and head tilted back in pleasure.

Cruelly, he withdraws his fingers, knowing fully well the tell tale quiver of her thighs, the needy rasps of her voice were only signalling how close she was.

“... Eren,” she gasps, involuntary tears brimming at the corners of her eyes, at the loss of pressure (pleasure) from his fingers. “... Why did you s-stop,” -

“You didn’t answer me, Mikasa.”

Squirming, trying desperately to rub her thighs against each other for some friction (she forgets her restraints) she can barely recollect what he asked of her.

“I asked what you were pleading for,” he says, sounding completely displeased. “... I guess I shouldn’t take you seriously after all.”

“I’m sorry, Eren,” she whimpers, “please, come back.” because she’s losing her mind, she can’t see him, where he stands, but all she knows is that he’s impossibly far away.

“... Come back, where?”

He watches her hesitate, test her words carefully, “... where you were before… please.”

“... Hmm?.”

“... Where you were touching me, Eren… You know what I want…”

He's supposed to be the one in control, but it’s insane the effect a breathless, whimpering Mikasa has on him. He’s been straining within his pants for a while now, and on any other day, he would have shucked his pants off, and sheathed himself within her tight wetness hours ago.

And even though he does know what she wants, he knows it really well, he wants to test her limits, wants to test his own control, so he says firmly, “... You’ll have to spell it out for me, Mikasa.”

“... Touch me, Eren,” she sobs, gray eyes hazy and unfocused, “Touch my pussy, please.”

“Good girl,” he breathes harshly, “... You’ll get what you want.” and he does what she wants, what she likes, the circular motions on her clit that always manages to get her off… but only for the briefest moment. He thrusts his fingers into her again, because he cant help himself.

She cries out, desperately, his name or a meaningless plea to some god, he isn't sure, because he’s way too focused on just how easy it is to slip inside her by this point, how there isn't even any pretense anymore, because that’s how wet and dripping she is. For him.

He quickens the pace, setting a punishing rhythm this time, because he wants her to open completely for him, wants her to let go and feel nothing else but his fingers deep inside of her.

She doesn't take too long to cum on his fingers, noisily but prettily, her whole body shaking on the wooden dining table. He watches her quietly, enjoying the sight of her juices glistening down her pussy and her thighs.

When her panting settles into a more consistent rhythm of heavy breathing, he asks, dryly, “... enjoyed that, huh?” He’s still hard and wanting, but she’s probably sore, so fucking her would have to wait.

“... Mmm, untie me,” she murmurs, and as an afterthought, she adds, “... please.”

He chuckles, walking over to untie her wrists first, and then her ankles. She slips off the table awkwardly, and because she can barely find her balance, she stumbles into Eren’s arms, naked and sensitive. “... That was nice,” she mumbles, pulling him down for a kiss. She presses herself against him, against his chest, and running a hand against the length of his hardness.

Eren stills, catching her hand in his path. “... Distracted already? I was serious about you cleaning up the mess you made on the table.”

She colours immediately, “... I will, but don’t you want to…,” -

And oh boy, he wants to, but he keeps his firm expression and says, “... what I want, is for you to clean the table, Mikasa.” He leans down and brushes his lips against her sweetly.

“... with your tongue.”

a/n: welp, not my best, but im practicing. feel free to give me feedback!! i am having complicated emotions to my writing nowadays, it feels lacking, so i promise to take all comments constructively!

[boys-from-santacarla]

can I request a David X Michael smut? if you're not comfortable then I totally understand :)

Notes: Ok, so first off: thank you so much for your request🤍. Second: this is my very first time writing a one shot about these boys, so I came up with this because I'm sure David's kink is to watch Michael hunt, so I tried my best. I don't know if this is what you were expecting, but I really really hope you like it 🤞🏻❤️. I accept feedback, writing advices, constructive criticism 😂, and more comments you want to let me know! I'm sorry you had to wait so much, btw, but I'm new on editing long posts on Tumblr.

Word Count: 1461

Warnings: NSFW, cursing, mentions of murder, mentions of blood, blowjob, handjobs, and basically just gay vampires.

Fast Learner (David x Michael)

They were on their way back to the cave. It had been four months since his turning, so by now the things coming with being a vampire were already accepted by Michael. But the midnight killings were still hard to get used to.

"You were good tonight, Michael." David commented interrupting his moral dilemma and sliding his arm over his shoulders. He tried to smile kindly and accepted the embrace.

"He says that 'cause he wants to get in your pants!" Paul joked from behind.

Everyone laughed and David gave him the finger, only increasing the laughs from the others.

"But he's right, Mike." Dwayne's deep voice added "You were better this time." Michael only nodded.

They quickly walked down the stairs and everyone went separate ways to get ready to catch some rest. Mike had some plans to get clean and prepare to get back home, but before he could totally get away from David's grasp, the blonde applied more force to keep him in place.

"Where you think you're going?" He asked amused.

"The sun's getting out and I still need to go home." He reminded him in an obvious tone. It was hard to maintain his normal life and keep up with his nocturnal schedule.

David's eyebrows raised up "Don't you think you'll need to look more... Normal?" He said grinning referring to his blood-soaked clothes. "Mom Emerson never told you to get clean after going out to play?" He laughed a little.

Mike decided to play clown too "So that's the only reason I'll need to delay my fly back? Get decent to go out?" He snapped back and bit his lip watching the other's mouth. David's eyes sparkled in delight. Straight to the point was his thing. So It didn't took more than three seconds to place Michael between his cold body and the wall with his hungry lips ravishing him.

He kept his fists on Michael's shirt, grinding his hips against the other boy to give his cock some needed friction.

"You really did good out there tonight. Making those pricks scream..." He whispered, lightly brushing the other's lips with his words. He stucked his tongue out and marked a wet path from jaw to cheekbone, then made a trail to the lobe and bit it. "Gave me a memorable show". He would never admit it out loud, but seeing Michael participate so vividly in their huntings always turned him on.

"I think I've learned from the best." Whispered the brunette while sliding his hands from David's waist to his ass. Then he took possession of the exposed neck with his teeth and tried to place a mark. David moaned and took hold of Michael's clothed cock to control his body and switch places. Now with him in between the wall and Mike, their kissing got rapidly messy, with both nibbling and sucking any exposed area. And Michael swore if he wasn't his new self, he would now be hot all over.

"But still you make a mess of yourself" David separated his mouth from the collarboone in mid attack and yanked the blood stained shirt. Michael knew he was right; it was normal to get back from their hunting with some blood on them, but not this much. So he put some inches of separation between them to lift his shirt and tossed it aside.

"Better this way?" He asked smirking.

"Yeah." David breathed taking in sight the defined pecs and strong abdomen. Wasting no more time he took hold of Michael's right hand and pulled it to his bulge. "Your technique at sucking still needs improvement tho."

"And you're volunteering to let me practice?" Mike replied almost in awe.

"Always"

Michael have him one last hot kiss, roughly biting his mate's lower lip at the end, and began his way down. His cold hands roamed David's belly underneath his shirt, sensually caressing his abdomen. The only thing the newly turned vampire hated about giving David head was the struggle with so many layers of clothes.

"Why don't you ever take this fucking coat off anyway? You're too cold?" Michael grumbled half joking, never taking his hands off.

"You're testing your luck, you know that?" If he was someone else, he would definitely be far gone by now, David thought.

But at least he was doing a great job.

Settling on his knees, he got to his target. He pressed his face to the already fat bulge and wetly kissed the thick layer of fabric. Then he slowly unzipped it and took it out of its confines, earning a low moan and two hands starting to stroke his soft curls.

Before going any further he looked up and saw David's head leaned on the wall with his eyes half closed. He grinned in contentment, feeling a mix of amusement, excitement and happiness realizing the power he had over this creature in vulnerable moments like this.

He took in one hand the cock before him and David inahled a sharp breath when it was softly squeezed at the base. This was followed by a leisure lick from the bottom to the top. As if savouring it for the first time, Michael gave it a couple of more tastes to then take the crown in his mouth, smacking his lips when he pull it out.

"Fuck, Michael" David breathed.

"That can come later" Mike answered and resumed his work putting the crown in his mouth again, this time giving it shelter a few more seconds before taking it deeper in his mouth. To cover the part left behind he moved his hand to massage it in rhythm with his mouth, and with the other hand he fondle his balls to gently roll and weigh them.

David kept moaning in appreciation, putting some pressure on Mike's skull and tugging at some strands to keep control of the pace, bobbing the head at his pleasure.

Without any more control in himself, David cradled the head with his palms pressing both cheeks and began to frantically fuck Michael's mouth.

"Shit. I love you can handle this" he praised while moving his thump to open more the wet cavity. His panting went wild as well as his movements, causing Michael to give up and just relax his throat to take as much as David gave him.

"Michael you keep it like that and I'm coming soon." David said and then stopped his fucking. He whined and pulled out dripping cock. "Get up" he ordered. Michael obligued and tried to gain some balance putting his hands on David's waist.

"You got big hands, babe." David mentioned "Why don't you work them on us." He commanded unbuckling Michael's jeans while Mike himself spitted on his palm to add slickness. When Michael's dick sprung free, he brought their hardnesses together. The touch made them both gasp, but in search for more Mike took both cocks more firmly in his right hand and changed his angle a bit to fit them correctly in the grasp.

Both moaned feeling their swelled dicks move together, and David said, controlling his tone to not sound pleading "Move."

And Michael began the strokes. At first he struggled to keep both cocks in his hand, so he adjusted his fingers to handle them better and began to catch velocity.

Michael started to feel dizzy with pleasure. With the adrenaline from the hunting still flowing through his veins, the sexual act felt even more powerful. So he put his head on David shoulders and moaned louder. "Damnit." He squeezed harder on their cocks.

"Yes. Yes. Just like that, babe." David panted in his ear. He then took hold of his neck with one hand and licked the other to lubricate it before moving it down to help make a better hold on themselves. They both began trusting in matched tempo, seeking their mutual release. They keep thrusting as brutally as they could.

Moments past before Michael whined, signaling his closeness "Oh, god. God, Im gonna come! I'm gonna-" he groaned and lost control of himself, spurting his load, getting both their hands and bellies sticky. The excitement making his body loose made his fangs come out, biting David's shoulder while spasming.

With Michael's hand reflexing involuntarily, and David's hand milking the last of him with hard strokes, David came too, sighing satisfied with relief. After a few recovering moments he noticed Michael's hand had fallen, breaking the contact on the now resting organs, but still felt the fangs cutting through his rough skin. Albeit not hurt, he protested the injury trying to catch his lover's attention clearing his throat. When Michael didn't respond, he tried again taking a deep breath and speaking "I still need to teach you to control those." He then smiled

Michael chuckled.

[darkalleywayexpress]

Your destiny is written from the day you’re born. Part 3

Part 1, Part 2, Part 4

Rated M

Warning: non-con sex, oral, violence, abuse.

This is based off The Devil All the Time. Specifically Lee Bodecker. Ideas be taken from the original story of course. 

Note: First time writing. Please give feedback. I don’t mind constructive criticism. Hope you enjoy. 

P.S. Im really bad at using this website. I find it hard lmao. So please give me time as I grown accustom to it. Thank you! (I have another fic in mind- though it will be darkSteve, but I'm not sure if I should do it or not. If y'all would like it please let me know.) :)))))))))

It’s my wedding day and I still don’t feet like ‘myself’. I feel like a withering leaf in fall on it’s last leg before it completely disappears. Not knowing where I truly stand I felt like I’m trapped, my heart palpating so much it hurts. All the days prior to this day I was unable to sleep, the consistent worrying in my head never faded away. As if my heart and brain knew something that I couldn’t fully comprehend yet. I’m left to fully rely on him not having any income of my own any longer since I was expected to quit work, due to the fact that the sheriffs wide would not be able to work or else people will start talking. Also taking in mind that people started talking, which got me to worry more. Rumors. As my mom put it. But don’t rumors have to stem off of some truth first?Though what I was able to comprehend from everything up until now was how much I hated myself. How big of an idiot I am. How I’m so weak to the point that I can even allow myself to be in every situation that I’ve ever been in. Staring straight at my reflection with the wedding gown he chose for me. Simple, just like me. I can care less about what I’m wearing and instead just truly want this horrendous day over. I can care less about what I’m wearing and instead just want the day over. My room door opens, my youngest brother Sam (who is still older than myself) walks in.

“Psst. Mrs. Bodecker.” With a grin smothered on his face. Seeing my reflection on the mirror he asks “you okay?”

“What am I doing?” Holding my tears back, though its hard my shell breaking.

“Well if you were to ask me I would say throwing yourself in fire. But it’s too late for that now, aint it?” He stops to grab both my hands in his own. “don’t worry y/n everything outta be alright. Before you even know it you’ll be much happier there than here with us. I should be getting down, and you should come soon too. You know how Pa and the others get when it comes to waiting.”

He leaves and I begin crying staring at my reflection. Have I truly thrown myself in flames? I wish I had a loving Pa who would save me from everything and everyone. Who would put me first before anyone else. Saying something along the lines of “Your happiness is what’s most important”. Maybe then I would’ve never been in this situation.

I make my way down. I see Lee standing looking up at me as I walk down. This ain’t the traditional way. But I guess that goes with everything. If I wasn’t the one getting married to him I would think he looks handsome today. They all get ready to head out.

I can’t do this. “I can’t do this.”  

My faces back to look at me, her eyes wide open. “Y/n?”

“Mom. I can’t do this. I can’t follow through this marriage.”

“Y/n.” She repeats herself more sternly this time.

Lee scoffs. Frowning but at the same time he seems like he is holding in his laughter. Laughter?

“Y/n, what do you mean I can’t get married?” He asks calmly. His head slightly moving side to side.

“I’m so sorry Lee. I just can’t.” I hold onto my dress running up the stairs, footsteps following behind me. My brothers voice speaking from a distance. He must be speaking to Lee. Before I can make it back to my room my Ma catches up to me yanking my arm, to stop me and get my attention.

“I had dreams for myself too. A dream where we both could’ve been happy. Where we both could’ve been. Not living with Pa and getting beat just because he felt like it - jjust because he was too drunk and he couldn’t think straight! Not a dream where I would marry I man I didn’t even know. Ma, please don’t make me do this. Ma, I beg of you.” I’m at her feet at this point my legs not being able to hold me straight up any longer. Swaying back and forth. Have I lost it?

She kneels down to look me in the face “It’s too late for that now y/n. Give me a chance, just this once? Lee’s a good man. He’ll take care of ya and your future kids. He got voted Sheriff honey now that ain’t so easy. You wont have to worry about nothing, he’ll be the man you deserve.  Holding my hands. Compassion. I don’t have much of a choice do I. If I don’t get married Dad’ll beat me to death. Collecting myself I soon head down.

Lee, sitting down on the beat up sofa. I make my way to him. Mom and Sam leaving us alone. He doesn’t look up at me, his head still in his hands. I don’t blame him. I can’t. To be in his shoes, I can’t even imagine. “Lee.”

“Are you alright?” He asks with what seems like genuine concern in his voice.

I nod. “Cold feet as ladies say it. I’m sorry.”

He nods. Putting his hand out forth for me to hold.

---------------------------------------------------------------

The ceremony at the Church happens so fast and before I even notice we are having our celebration in the backyard that all the folks have it during summer, accept for us it’s in fall.

We sit at the table where the couples tend to sit and people coming forth to congratulate us. I drink for the first time to help ease myself, as I have heard it helps. Luckily Lee was answering all their warm wishes and questions if any. All I’m focusing on is keeping all the warmth I have with this little cropped fur coat. Paying attention to people chattering and drinking away. Harold? What is he doing here? I look to find mom in the crowd. Her eyes already looking at me sternly. What am I supposed to do? The weather gets colder and somehow, I start sweating.

“Congratulations on your marriage.” He says staring only at me, causing me to instinctively look at Lee whom is staring at me and him. “I really didn’t expect ya to get married y/n, especially to someone so old compared to ya self. But I guess it’s expected I mean ya Pa ain’t the nicest.” Harold says all the while grinning. I can feel Lee gripping onto my wrist. Tightly.

“Who the fuck do you think you are coming to my wedding and spewing all this shit to me. Boy.” Lee standing up so quickly from his seat the chair topples away. I grab onto Lee, holding him back so he doesn’t fight with Harold. Harold laughs which causes Lee to punch him square to his jaw. And before I even can do anything else a full fight breaks between the two and I just stand there watching as I cry inside.

------------------------------------------------------------

Harold was left bloody. And Lee and I head home. My new ‘home’. Lee slams the door after himself. Fisting my hands so tightly I think my nails are breaking the skin on my palms. Defensive. I feel the need to be defensive.

“Who are you Lee? Are you someone who just thinks out of anger and isn’t able to talk to resolve conflict? Or are you the person that the town loves so much.” The alcohol is truly hitting me hard.

“Forget about be. Who the fuck are you?” He says moderately loud “Start fucking talking or I bet ya it ain’t gonna be good for ya Hon.” I can’t reply it’s like my tongue is cut off. “Who the fuck was that kid?”

Swallowing. “I don’t have to answer you. I – I ain’t your property.” I turn heading to any room with a door at this point.

BANG. He slams his hand against the wall. “DO NOT! Do not walk away from me  when I ask you a question.”

I bawling at this point, not turning around to look him. “Mmaybe we aren’t mean’t to be L-lee. Why didn’t you just marry some other girl from this town.”

And before he says anything else I open the first door my eyes hold onto and shut it after myself. Sitting down on the bed I cry. Noticing soon enough that it must be his room. The door opens, Lee walking in to sit beside me.

I get up facing what would be the window, but is covered due to the blinds “Ccould you just give me sometime alone? Ple” his right hand grabs me from my jaw to make me look straight at him.

“I’ll do whatever the fuck I please.” He spits out. Grabbing my fur coat and rips is off my body, turning me around so he can unlace my dress. He pushes me face forward to the mattress, I begin crying to scared to move. I here rustling behind me. Him behind me soon, smelling me. “We could’ve had it so nice but you really wanted to be a bitch. I really did want to take it nice and slow but you really lost that chance and instead I think it’s time for a lesson.”

And it all happens in a blink of an eye. Him putting his manhood in me. I grunt due to the foreign feeling in me. Is it suppose to hurt? “Oh hon, is it your first time he says while staring in between my legs.” I nod, my hands go up covering my face. “Honey, why didn’t you tell me? Is that why you were acting up? Cause you were scared?” He laughs, and stops his rhythm to move my hands away from my face. Kissing me. His hand exploring around my body, kneeding my breats slowly and softly. My hands instinctively go to his own, he grabs onto mine. Putting it on either side of my head, slowly moving his body again. In between my legs begin to feel hotter, wetter. Pain and pleasure mixing together. Clenching an unknown feeling washing over me, he soon whines? Breathing gets harder and sharper and soon stills. I stay still as he gets up to turn the lights off. Pulling the covers over the both of us, his left arm thrown over my body. Eventually drifting to sleep through silent crys.

[personasintro]

Mimi, i adore your books and you’re doing really amazing.

For the record, i hate kiko too. I hate how she cheated and all. I hate how this whole situation kinda suffocate yn and locks her inside.

BUT

Yall need to remember that it’s just a book. A FREE one to be exact. And no one forced you to read it. Of course you have your opinion as a reader but guys, it’s not even a constructive criticism anymore. You guys are just upset that the story doesn’t go to your liking and i don’t know if i need to stress it again but FEEL FREE TO LEAVE🚶‍♀️i mean yo, first of all, it’s not even that deep. It’s just, repeat after me, A BOOK. And yes it’s only natural that when someone really loves a book they begin to overindulge by learning the characters’ behavior and everything, mad when someone dies, etc etc. But what you did by over-criticizing mimi is wrong in so many levels. I get it that you guys are so angry because kiko is being such a bitch and jungkook being just a normal person who’s madly in love with a girl, and i despise kiko too. I know some of you mentioned that it’s a “Y/N x Jungkook” ff so it should be weighing more to yn and jk interaction, and you’re absolutely right about that. I do see it lacking of yn pov privilege but this matter was already cleared as mimi explained that it is a slow burn story and things will fall into places eventually. Also guys, THEY ARE JUST IMAGINARY CHARACTERS. Mimi explaining her behaviors was because mimi IS the writer. Mimi MADE kiko and yn and even jk’s characteristics. I hope you guys are not hoping that the real jeon jeongkook from bts would behaving the same way as jk from mh. It’s up to a writer if they want to explain shits about their OC. In your eyes it might looks like someone who’s protecting their problematic friend but bestie, guess what? News flash it’s not. You can be all mad to kiko but leave mimi alone. You guys love to read right? Then try to spend your time on scrolling mimi’s page a bit, mimi already explained A LOT about what how and why kiko is doing what she does which is for all i can see is a charity for yall overly obsessed mfks. I got mad too when kiko appeared and doing her shit, i cursed too, a lot, but i kept that to myself because what? That’s the art of reading. You cry, you get angry, you laugh. I mean come on, imagine every time a writer wrote something that irritates the readers and they have to change the whole plot based on what their readers want, that would end up being hilarious and the plot would be bland af.

You might think I’m overreacting but im not doing all of this without a worthy reason, I’ve been following MH from the first chapter and I’ve read all of your ridiculous demands and just when i thought yall going to stop after mimi explained everything, you chose to be blind. So i feel like i need to step up a bit.

I write too, okay? But i never post anything on anywhere because i don’t want to deal with this kind of shit where i give people free stuff to enjoy but instead of supporting me they would rather be a bully.

Bestie, i take it that you already read all of the chapters, if it’s a paid story you’d already spent a lot. Please just think about that simple logic first when you’re going to talk shit to mimi or any writer out there.

To sum up everything: constructive criticism is okay, you can complain if there’s any grammatical errors or about how to write certain narrative, but keep your subjective opinions towards any character to yourself. Especially if the writer already explained themselves.

To mimi, i still hate kiko with all of my soul but thank you for sharing your amazing books with us. I really suggest you if they keep doing it, instead of stop writing and gain nothing in return, you could be just as petty and move all of your books somewhere like patreon and set a high charge. At least if they want to complain they gotta pay first.

Also im not writing anonymously because im not a pu$$y like all of you internet’s karen.

I'm very passionate about my stories and it was probably my mistake that I tried to make a conversation about characters and the story itself. It's okay to not like characters, it's okay to mention it when you guys give me feedback and share your reactions! That's totally fine. What I'm trying is to talk to you guys about it, sometimes share my own opinion about it but overall, I'm just trying to have a conversation and interact with you guys. I didn't think me trying to show different perspective in multiple situations means that I love Kiko or root for Kiko/Jungkook. I don't want you to think you can't share your opinions just because I've something say to it, most likely reacting to it. I mean you guys ask questions and send me asks, and I answer and react, right? This is how it should work. 

What the main problem of this entire thing is those disrespectful asks attacking me for characters I'm writing. I might be the author of it, but it's still a story I'm trying to tell. You want to get mad at characters? Okay, so be it. Be mad. But don't be mad at me for trying to talk to you. If someone doesn't like how the story is going, just don't read it. It's very simple. I've lost count how many times I already said this.

I don't cry over those asks, I don't sulk over it and it doesn't bother me the way they probably hope it does. I've my fair share of laughter whenever I read those asks because it's clear it's purely made to harass me. None of those anons couldn't tell me what is the main reason of their asks. I'm just genuinely curious what they want from me or what they expect. On the other hand, as much as I'm trying to understand them, I don't really care. I don't want any negativity on this blog and it's no my problem they keep reading a story they apparently don't like. 

But hey, I still get those reads and they waste their time to send me those asks🤡 who's the real winner here?💅

Anyway, sorry this got long! Thank you so much for this ask, you're really sweet for writing all of this!💜

[thesunnyshow]

Name: kelsie Writing Blog URL(s): @lovingyong​

Age: 22

Nationality: american

Languages: english, some sign language and spanish

Star Sign: libra

MBTI: INFJ

Favorite color: pink

Favorite food: taco bell (lol)

Favorite movie: pride and prejudice, kill bill, gone with the wind, or the handmaiden

Favorite ice cream flavor: green tea

Favorite animal: otter

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? tea or hot chocolate. never coffee because i’m allergic

Dream job (whether you have a job or not): human rights attorney or writer

Go-to karaoke song: never gonna give you up - rick astley

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? teleportation

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? mmm hard to say bc i enjoy my rights as a woman so i guess probably the 90s

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? Only starting at the summer before high school

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? horse sized chicken but i could not explain why. It’s just my gut instinct

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? I was the floater/nobody for sureeeee

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? yes aliens allll the way lets go

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? I only type with two fingers on each hand but can still type 60 wpm

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct but i want to also start writing for haikyuu soon

When did you post your first piece? july of 2018

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? I like a good combo. Life is never completely fluffy or totally angsty. It’s good to have a balance to make it all seem more realistic and immersive

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? x reader right now but when i write for haikyuu, it’ll be ships

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? I think it was just… there and available. Ao3 is fun but there’s not a lot of chances or opportunities for interaction so i decided to go back to the hellsite

What inspires you to write? Oh goodness, anything and everything. Oftentimes it’s music. I hear a song and i’m immediately like i need a story for this asap

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? Mafia and crime. It’s such a guilty pleasure of mine

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? I just want it to be a temporary escape and provide at least some form of enjoyment

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? Read more or watch anime just because both of those are enjoyable things for me but can also give me the inspiration to create again

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? you may regret this is literally my baby. It’s not my favorite, but i think taeyong’s spin off story, a way out, is because it's everything i wanted for ymrt, i just didn’t have the same skills at the time. Another favorite of mine is hanakotoba because it’s literally my heart and soul in a story and i’ll always have that deep personal connection to it. My most successful is white knuckle tight which is truly still fascinating for me because it was an idea i got on a random tuesday during christmas break and i just ran with it. I think it’s an alright story but it’s far from my favorite. I lack the emotional attachment that i have to other pieces.

Who is your favorite person to write about? taeyong. Writing him is almost like second nature to me. His character is always the easiest for me to construct and i think people will find he’s the most consistent character throughout stories. There’s not as much variation.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? Yes and no. i think writing kpop fanfiction is much more similar to original prose because you don’t have a world to build around. You only have a person. In fact, you don’t even have that. You only have an idea of a person to construct into a character. I think the only difference is that you can get away with a lot more unreasonable plot lines.

What do you think makes a good story? Good characters and enough emotion to create an attachment to the plot. I want to care about what’s happening and the best way to do that is by leading me to some sort of connection to the characters

What is your writing process like? Very chaotic and sporadic. I’ll come up with ideas at 3 am, make a random note about it, and then do my best to bring it to life when i’m actually awake. I don’t plan. I just have snippets of scenes i would like to include. So much of it is just writing whatever comes to mind while im writing it

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? I’m doing so with one right now, though 8-% of it is getting scrapped and changed. There’s nothing wrong with that though. Having good bones is what matters and i think this story has exactly that

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? I love enemies to loves if it’s done right. Exes to lovers is another classic. Mafia is a given. Hanahaki and soulmates always does something to my heart. I can’t stand hybrid and a/b/o fics idk why i just have never been able to get into them. Yandere like tropes are also really hard to do right so i usually avoid those as well

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? It means a lot. I’m sure any writer can tell you that but it’s truly the reason i still write fanfic and haven’t just given up and written only original prose.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? Timing. It’s always about which member is really getting to people at the moment and which trope is gaining traction. 85% of writing on tumblr is kind of just dumb luck

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? Yes. i think it just comes from lack of understanding

Do you think art can be a medium for change? Without a doubt. Art pieces as well as writings have made significant impacts in my life in a variety of ways. It’s a medium of awareness and recognition

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? Not really because i kind of just do whatever the fuck i want (sorry for my language lol) but i usually come up with totally self indulgent ideas and then just do it. 

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? No… not yet. I expected someone to with shattered memories but it seemed to do and say what i wanted to

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? My roommates. My friends know i write they just don’t know what

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? I’m doing my best and i wish i could put stories out more often 

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? Just go for it. You have to try if you want to see any sort of results. Plus these people don’t know you so what’s the risk

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? nah

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? Kai, jewel, and abbey for sure. They were some of my closest mutuals when my blog really started to take off

Pick a quote to end your interview with: 

You have brains in your head. You have feet in your shoes. You can steer yourself any direction you choose. You’re on your own. And you know what you know. And YOU are the one who’ll decide where to go… - dr. seuss

[angel-deux-writes]

Hi Angel! I've been a big fan of yours since HCM, and so I wanted to express my concern for your wellbeing. There was that big break when you took a month or so to finish HCM before posting it in quick succession, in order to not have to deal with the comments. Now, from what you've been writing in the notes to Dorne Rights, it looks like you are experiencing something similar. The selfish fan in me wants you to keep writing and keep posting, but the basic human in me is more worried that (1/2)

you are unhappy. Nothing is worth making yourself unhappy over, particularly not something that’s meant to give you pleasure. A favourite author of mine back in the days of my Spike/Angel obsession had a disclaimer on her stories telling readers to please not leave feedback of any kind, not even constructive criticism, on her fics because she finds them unhelpful. Her comment section was full of chats about various topics in that fandom, rather than her own fiction. Might help. (2/2)

Hello! I really appreciate this message, because you’re right: fanfic writing isn’t good for me.

(lol putting this beneath the cut because it’s way too long)

It’s actually my experience in this fandom that has made me realize that writing in general probably isn’t good for me, but unfortunately I feel a drive to it and can’t seem to stop myself from thinking I’ll one day get published, so that’s a bit of a downer. The truth is that I’m naturally disposed toward thinking that I’m shit, my words are shit, and every thought I’ve ever had is unoriginal and poorly written. It’s always been like that, from the time I wrote my first attempt at fiction at 7 years old to now at 31. It takes a lot for me to share my writing with people. I started writing fic at 14, basically as soon as I discovered that I wasn’t the only person composing stories about Han and Leia in their free time. I’m sure that my fics were horrendous. I give myself a hard time now, but 14 year old me probably deserved it even more. But there were sweet people on the internet who encouraged me (and lied to me) and told me that my stories were good, and that made a huge difference. 

(that and my freshman year english teacher, who was very very cute and earnest and young and made me feel like I could actually be a writer.)

I’ve never been a part of a fandom before. Discourse and meta and long discussions about canon events have never interested me. I’ve said that before, and it remains true! I consume what canon there is, and sometimes I like it, and sometimes I hate it. Sometimes I’m so dissatisfied with it that I need to write something, and so I do. I don’t think I’ve ever written fic for something that I found entirely satisfactory. The extension of my being part of an actual fandom in the past was probably reblogging a few gifsets and recommending it to friends. I’ve just never had that sort of communal experience. This, the J/B fandom, was my first time really getting into it. It’s the first time I’ve ever made friends online that weren’t just frequent commenters on long multichapter fics! It has been exciting and I’m grateful for it! It’s just also probably not good for me. 

It’s just, like, every time I post something, I’m fighting a very loud and very desperate voice in my head that’s saying “you’re shit and you shouldn’t bother”. It’s why I’m so good at writing first drafts of novels but so, so bad at getting past the second. It’s why I usually post fics only until I’ve worked out my frustrations: one or two fics per fandom and then ghosting away forever. It’s very hard to defy that voice and post something anyway, and this fandom experience has taught me that no matter HOW many stories I post, I’m ALWAYS going to have to fight that voice. And it’s gotten actively stronger. “You’re not what this fandom wants” “You’re not good at this” “Everyone’s just being nice” “You’ve overstayed your welcome”. Paying attention, often by accident, to the discourse and the metas only makes it worse, because my brain automatically turns to “well YOU don’t write them like that. That means you’re wrong”. I can tell myself as many times as I want that I myself like many different interpretations of J/B! My brain goes “yeah, but you’re just an idiot who doesn’t know any better. There’s a right way, and you’re not doing it”. 

THIS IS ALL SO DRAMATIC! But it’s just the truth! Every time I post something, it’s against my nature. NO ONE outside of fandom reads my writing! I can count on one hand the number of times I’ve allowed my close friends and family to read things. So while it may seem like, idk, like I should just be able to get over it, negative comments, or even SLIGHTLY critical comments, really hit me hard. For all the positive feedback I get (and I really AM super grateful for it, and it means the world to me), those few critical voices seem louder because they’re agreeing with what I have already known about myself. And so it feels almost like a victory, but a shitty one. “Ha! I was right this whole time! I AM a shit writer, and I’ve for some reason tricked those other people into thinking I’m good!” 

For a long time (much longer than I’ve ever written for any other fandom, obviously), I was able to shove it to the side. The J/B fandom HAS been super good to me, and they HAVE been wonderful about giving me feedback and making me feel welcome and included. But those negative voices are just SO LOUD to me, even though I know logically that they shouldn’t be. 

It would be easy to point to a specific problem and say that my issues will be fixed if only I can address that. I do it CONSTANTLY. Maybe if I stopped tagging other relationships. Maybe if I stopped tagging other characters. Maybe if I tagged my works super specifically. Maybe if I made author’s notes about how I’m a shit writer and people shouldn’t expect things from me. Maybe if I just wrote “THIS STORY IS WRITTEN ALREADY AND IM JUST EDITING AS I GO! PLEASE DONT SUGGEST THINGS!” I just feel like, increasingly, I want fewer and fewer eyes on my fics. It’s the opposite of the problem I thought I would have. But my confidence took a huge hit with HCM, and then I was finally feeling good enough to post Dorne Rights. It was probably a mistake! 

idk, maybe it’s just all the shit that’s going on in the world + in my personal life. Maybe it’s just time. Maybe I’m just running out of inspiration. But the positive voices aren’t loud enough to drown out my own negative self-voice this time, and so I’ve been trying to figure out how to handle it. Part of me wants to delete Dorne Rights with the intention of reworking it and maybe posting it again down the line with fewer tags and a lot more reminders that people can write their own stories if they don’t like mine. Part of me wants to just do a HCM and post it all at once so that I can leave the finished product up (even if I now think the entire thing is garbage). Part of me wants to stop writing fic entirely, at least until the next time I watch something with an ending so bad it fucks me up. I think my solution will probably be a massive step back from fandom for a little while. I’ve been feeling a drive to work on my original stuff, and I should probably lean into that. I would like to still write and post J/B, once I find the inspiration, but I’m tired of feeling like this is a job. I think I got so deeply sunk into this attitude of “I NEED to write and post constantly because these people want me to, and they actually like what I write!!” that I stopped writing things because I wanted to write them and started writing them because I wanted to write things for other people, to make other people happy, and so that they could tell me that I’m not a shit writer at all.

I should make it clear that I do intend to write my JB fic swap thing FOR SURE. I will drag that story out of myself no matter what. But in general it’s probably just healthier for me to not spend so much time On Here especially, and on fic in general.

[airbnbfestivals]

2021 - Guest left me a poor review even when i made my best effort -.-´

Hello everyone, its my first time posting on this forum...

So it all started when my guest made a reservation for 1 person, but she told me it was 4 adults and a baby while chating through Airbnb, so i told her i was going to send an alteration request for 4 people (because i charge an extra fee after 2 people on my listing) but she didnt answer back, i sent her another message the next day and still no answer whatsoever. It was check-in date, and until then she called me to say she was on the way, my surprise is, two cars entering my property, so when they got out, i counted 6 adults, 3 kids like 10yo and the baby.

I told her about the price alteration and she went crazy saying i was scamming her and that my listing says a price and that according to the photos up to 8 people fit in the house, so i told her she needed to add the number of guests, so she started blaming the app and saying it didnt allow her to do such thing, and thats when her daughter said ¨yeah the thing is my mom doesnt understand this things so much you know¨ so i told her it was her fault for not knowing how to use the app, because after all thats the way it was, even when i showed her the messages i had sent her, she insisted that she never got any notifications or emails. I ended up talking to her daughter because she was more comprehensible, and even charged them for the amount of 5 people as a discount, to make them feel more confortable and stop discussing.

The next day, i asked if everything was okay, they told me they liked the place and everything we had to offer, including our beach front. I currently dont sell food at my place, but the current guy who helps me clean and everything is also a nice cook, so we made possible 8 seafood soups for their lunch (more like a favor, since i only charged them for the ingredients and my cook´s day), they loved it! They even enjoyed our exclusive firepit. The next day is checkout, the womans daughter sent me a message to tell me they liked everything including the food, and told her i wanted to apologize once again for the misunderstanding on the first day, and if she had any suggestions on how we can improve on our service to let me know, she said everything was fine, so much that she would write the review from her moms phone.

So i supposed everything went fine, i gave this woman a 5 star review and a good recommendation, because after all, i thought we have moved on already.

Just to find out she is the only person that has given me a 4 star rating and a poor review on my listing, a new one that i have started with so much effort and passion, she filled every single private feedback with absolutely nonsense complaints.

Her way of bashing out my place was by saying ¨the beach was full of trash and construction residues¨, and that is completely false, our beach front is always clean for our guests, we keep it that way, and whatever she sees on the other beach fronts from the neighbor properties is out of our boundaries, she also added i didnt offered a potato peeler, scissors, fruit extractor and what not, im surprised she didnt asked for an air fryer as well.

Please let me know what you think, and how some guests have affected your listing, even if you give your best effort. This was an uncomprehensible lady who barely let me talk while she was screaming at me when they arrived. But whats done is done i guess, ill just keep doing my best as ive always done!

English is not my first language if you see any redaction or grammar errors.

Original post here =+-+= Get $20 off your first AirBnB stay.

[new-endings]

Do you have any advice for a first time writer? I’ve never made a fic before but I plan on writing one when I have the time. I know you’re a great writer so I thought I’d ask! Thanks and have a good day :)

Hi and of course, I’d be happy to help! Also /)///(\  (❁´◡`❁) I’m so very honored that you like my writing 💕 

I don’t think there’s really a wrong way to write (grammar and spelling aside), but here are some of my beliefs and my own advice! 

I think when it comes down to writing, especially for fanfiction, it’s important to remember that it’s a labor of love and you should write what you love and enjoy! If you’re not having fun while doing it and aren’t writing what you want, then why do it? 

You took the time and energy to create something that’s uniquely yours. It doesn’t matter if it’s any other AU that is considered “popular” among your fandom, this take is uniquely your own. And take pride in your work!

that’s not to say steal from other writers that’s plagiarism and i trust you know already not to do that but because this is the internet, i feel like this caveat has to be made

Also, I do encourage you to tag properly. In many fandoms, there are just too many fics to go through and tagging really helps the reader in finding your work! It also prevents people who may not be into the type of work you’re making from reading it and causing issues down the line.   

So have fun, and again I’m so glad to hear that you want to write! There’s never too many ideas, never too many stories c: Once it’s done, please link me! I’d be more than happy to read~

this is rly long im sry but here’s more

aight here’s some things that I do that personally helps me when I’m writing:

0. FEEL FREE TO DISREGARD ANY OF THE BELOW. Honestly, the way I write may not jive with you and that’s totally fine. This is just what I do. You’ll find your own rhythm or discover it along the way, but these are just some suggestions. 

1. Free write. 

-It sounds like you’re busy and might not have time throughout the day to just sit down and write for hours on end and if this is the case, sometimes just putting something down on paper/typing it up is small progress that gradually builds. It’s okay if it looks disjointed or a bit wonky at first-- you can smooth things over later. 

2. conversely, Write your rough drafts as a story skeleton. I’m a particular sorta creature, so if you have the time, I can recommend

It kinda looks like a play. Example: dead dove do not eat btw 

-C locks the door- 

C  "What are you going to tell the police, angel? That a billionaire is obsessively in love with you, a Soho bookseller, “ -A flinches as C approaches closer- “And kidnapped you all the way to his country villa and forged a completely new life for you?" 

-commotion outside from the storm-

A, pouting as he’s backing up against the wall "...well, you don't have to put it that way."

it can read fine just the way I wrote it lol but the point is-- having the scene already laid out in front of you helps with building the rest of the story and makes filling in details a lot smoother.

I also recommend using this method if you’d like your dialogue to run smoother.

3. Read things out loud. 

-It really helps. especially with dialogue. Think “is this something C/A/an actual human being would say in this manner?” it also helps with sentence structures. If you can read your paragraphs out loud without getting lost or winded, then the reader can too. 

4. Don’t make chunky paragraphs. 

-I need to take this advice lol Our eyes get tired as we read big blocks of letters strung together. Make them digestible. If you’re enjoying the spacing and it looks good to your eyes, chances are, they’re good for the reader too. 

5. Don’t apologize for being a first-time fic writer or antagonize your own writing especially in the summary.

-I see this a lot where the writer says “sorry if summary sucks” or “Sorry, first time writing!” and I think it sends a bad message to the reader. It tells the reader that you’re not confident in your writing skills. If you’re not confident, then the reader isn’t confident in your abilities. 

6. Don’t be afraid to share it! 

-Tumblr, ao3, Wattpad, you name it. Be proud of your work! I can honestly say that I love my own writing and that’s the primary drive to why I write in the first place-- I have an idea that no one else is gonna write for me (because I can’t afford commissions no siree), so if what I got is what I got, then I’m gonna make it good for myself. 

And I’m my own worst critic. If I like it, then I think it’s def gonna be good enough to share with other people so we can enjoy the same thing! 

7. It’s not worth getting upset over feedback.

-Whether it’s getting criticism or if there aren’t a lot of notes, comments, or kudos, it’s okay. Every writer has been there. 

-For negative feedback, remember that unless this person is harassing you or just putting down the fic without anything constructive at all, delete it and move on with your day. If they had no ill intent behind it, it may be worth considering their comment, but in the end, the choice is yours. 

-If there’s not enough feedback, then remind yourself of the reason why you made this fic: was it to gain traction as a writer? To polish your writing skills that you will eventually use to make your own original works or make more fics? If so, then go back to step 6. Promote it, share it, tell your friends and followers about it and there’s absolutely no shame in that. 

-And if you wrote primarily for the fun of it, because this was an idea in your head that you wanted to see, then that’s okay. You made a work you’re proud of and if you’re happy with that work, then don’t let this be a numbers game that will make you sad or upset. Your work is good enough when you’re happy with it; you only need to please yourself for it to have been a success.

Hope this helps~  

[vivarocksteady]

two “I like” and one “I wonder”

When I was in about third or fourth grade, and we started giving book reports, presentations, and show-and-tells, we also started doing “peer feedback.” Whenever a student presented something, every single other student was required to give them feedback. 

Everybody had to pose their feedback in the form of two “I Like” and one “I Wonder?”

Sometimes this was nerve-wracking for me, because I didn’t have any opinion on little Johnny’s geode presentation, but it stuck with me. In my adult life, I considered this to be exactly the same as the “compliment sandwich” rule of feedback, whereby you nestle your criticism in between two compliments. 

Recently I shared this with a friend and she pointed out it was worlds apart, as saying “I wonder?” is pretty different than “Here’s everything about your work that I didn’t like.”

In the ongoing debate about concrit in fanfic, I thought I would share this method. Because my friend was exactly right. I am one of those authors who does not like getting unsolicited concrit-- but I LOVE IT when readers ask questions!

An example under the jump: 

Let’s say someone writes an Office fic where Jim cheats on Pam. The summary and tags make it clear that Jim is going to cheat on Pam in the story. There is little preamble in the story, it just goes straight to Jim cheating. 

Somebody reads the story and finds the author has talent and the story has potential, but that it does not earn the premise of Jim cheating on Pam. By earn the premise, I mean the story does not earn the trust of the reader to handle this premise. It is a pretty unexpected thing for Jim to do, after all. The story has to get the audience to believe that Jim would cheat, which is a very tall order. The reader does not feel the story was successful in this light. It seems OOC and like a weird choice.

Comment #1: “Jim would never cheat on Pam. This is OOC.” 

This comment, IMO, is rude and pointless. It negates the entire premise of the fic and it shows that the reader is not willing to engage with the story at all. It stops all conversation dead. 

Even if it was preceded by two compliments, I would think this comment was rude and that the two compliments were possibly false. If I got this comment I would think “Why tf did you read this fic at all, then??" And I would probably be grumpy for a little while. 

It puts the author on the defense and gives no actionable ways to improve, and no food for thought. At best, it lightly annoys the author. At worst, the author feels attacked or discouraged. 

It almost certainly does not help the author grow. 

Comment #2: “I don’t think Jim would ever cheat on Pam. That seems OOC to me.” 

IME, this is the type of comment I see the most from people who want to leave constructive criticism. It’s softened, and the commenter is obviously not trying to be rude or argumentative. Especially if this was preceded by two compliments, it seems like the commenter is just trying to benignly point something out to the author.

However, the criticism is the same as the previous comment, that is, it completely negates a story element. Saying Jim would never cheat on Pam does not help improve a story where the central premise is that Jim cheats on Pam. It just says that it shouldn’t exist. It doesn’t invite conversation or food for thought. It ends the conversation.

Again, this shows the reader isn’t willing to engage with this story, but rather they would prefer a different story. The problem is, this is not a different story. It doesn’t have to be. And again, if I received this comment I would think “Why did you even read this?” even though I know the commenter was trying to be nice. 

Comment #3: “I wonder what could have happened to make Jim want to cheat on Pam?” 

This takes the same criticism, but flips it around so the author has a way to respond. Instead of putting the author on the defense or completely negating their artistic choice, it challenges the author to think about their artistic choice, and consider how well they executed it, or if they built the story sufficiently enough to earn it.

I would be delighted to receive a comment like this, especially if it came after two compliments. I am delighted to get comments like this! I would think this person is engaged with my story, and that they are meeting it on the level I intended. I would feel respected. I honestly wouldn’t even read this as criticism, just as an excited reader who liked my work enough to want to spend a bit more time in it. 

But then I might think “Hmm, maybe I should have fleshed out the opening scene a bit to really lay out the situation,” or “I thought I made Jim’s emotional state clear but maybe I shouldn’t have been so subtle. Maybe I left something out.” I might even respond to the commenter and ask what they think it would take, after realizing that perhaps I didn’t give it enough thought. These are the parts of re-writing and editing that are actually exciting, writer-wise, IMO. These are all ways in which I would actually grow as an author.

And if I didn’t feel like doing any of that, I wouldn’t have to. Because it’s phrased as “I wonder,” it’s not a direct request for the author to respond or justify anything. But if I wanted to directly tell the commenter what I was thinking, I could. (FTR I love questions even if they don’t start with “I wonder” and I, personally, do not at all mind when readers ask blunt questions directly.) 

The point is, the author now has lots of options. It’s the same criticism, just phrased in a way that opens discussion instead of saying “this is criticism, deal with it.” 

YYMV, of course. Some authors don’t like to respond to comments at all, and so might not like the questions-- but I do think that it’s a generally lighter way to give feedback, and it actually gets the author thinking about their work from a different POV, instead of having to defend it.