#i got a handful of other stuff to post fr i just fell off for *checks watch* 3 months ????

[peepongos]

in my scribbleful era we get a little sillay

[sebscore]

BLOOMING BOND | LEWIS H.

pairing: lewis hamilton x fem!reader 

warnings: reference to his iconic 'imagine' tweet. talk about having kids. talk of not wanting an unpresent father. swearing.

author's note: this post by @allkindfangirl inspired me to write this and I hope she enjoys it :) 

masterlist

• • • • • • •

''Aunt Y/N, can you braid my hair, please?'' Willow walked up to the breakfast table, holding her pink hairbrush. 

The woman put her drink down, smiling down at the young girl. ''Of course, honey,'' she slid her chair back and got up, ''we'll do it inside so I can get ready myself.'' Y/N stuck out her hand and Willow swiftly took it. 

''Willow, what do you say to her?'' Her mother glanced at her, trying to look stern. The small girl huffed, seemingly embarrassed by her mother's reminder of having manners. ''Thank you, Y/N.'' The slight frown turned into a toothy grin as she looked up at her uncle's girlfriend. 

''You're welcome, Willow.'' Y/N chuckled, winking at Lewis who smiled at the pair. A skipping Willow dragged her inside the vacation home and made their way towards the bathroom. 

The rest of the family watched them leave with loving eyes, endeared by the interaction. ''Willow is obsessed with her.'' Nicola stated, looking at her brother. 

Her sister nodded her head. ''I know,'' she agreed, ''her hair needs to be like Y/N's, her clothes need to be like Y/N's- it's all I'm hearing these days.'' She sighed, not out of annoyance or agitation, but out of happiness that Willow had found a role-model in her brother's partner. 

''That's adorable,'' Lewis giggled, ''Y/N also loves her and Kaiden- always talking about how such good kids they are and wanting to buy them stuff.'' He told his family, recalling the times they had gone shopping and Y/N would see certain items that reminded her of the two kids. 

''It's very sweet.'' Anthony commented, the smile on Lewis' face bringing one to his own. 

Carmen scratched her voice. ''The little ones were very excited to see the two of you again. They were even naming all the things you could do together.'' The weeks leading up to the family vacation, Willow and Kaiden had been telling their grandmother's ear off about how much they were looking forward to it. 

''We were excited as well, it's been a while since we've all spent time like this together.'' Lewis answered, his heart melting at the thought of his niece and nephew being all giddy about seeing him and Y/N again. 

The other family members agreed. ''Yes, thank you so much for organising this, Lu.'' Samantha thanked him, sending an appreciative smile his way. 

''No, you don't have to thank me! It's my pleasure.'' He brushed her words off, growing shy. 

A comfortable silence fell upon them, bathing in the family time and the beautiful sight of the morning glow in Bali. That didn't last long, though. 

''CANNONBALL!'' 

The loud voice of Kaiden cut through the peace and the sound of someone landing in the pool interrupted the tranquillity of the moment. Lewis' brother-in-law quickly followed after his son and everyone went back to either eating or getting themselves ready for the activities of the day. 

''Nice braid, Willow.'' Lewis complimented his niece as she walked past him to go outside with her new hair, a braid with several flower accessories attached. 

''I know, Y/N did it.'' She told her uncle in a 'duh'-tone. 

Lewis simply laughed and walked to their room, finding his girlfriend changing into a beautiful spring dress. ''Hey, beauty.'' He kissed her cheek, admiring her in the mirror. 

''Hi, honey.'' Y/N smiled at him, adjusting the straps on her shoulders. 

''I just ran into miss Willow who had a beautiful braid in her hair.'' He grinned, grabbing his swimming trunks from his suitcase. ''I told her it looked nice and she just went ''I know, Y/N did it' with a little attitude, it was the funniest thing.'' He recalled the interaction with his niece, chuckling to himself. 

''I wonder where she gets that sassy attitude from.'' Y/N smirked, glancing at her boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. 

Lewis took off his infamous Senna shirt and threw it at her, the woman smoothly catching it. ''I have no idea what you're talking about, darling.'' He pretended, sheepishly smiling. 

''Oh, Mister 'Imagine' doesn't know what I'm talking about, huh?'' Y/N lightly mocked him, folding his shirt and laying it on one of the chairs. 

The Mercedes driver took off his shorts and boxers, switching them for his swimming wear. ''Anyway,'' he changed the topic, making her laugh, ''we were just talking about how well you and the little ones get along.'' A fond smile found its way to his face, remembering the conversation he had earlier. 

''Really? That's cute, Lew.'' A few years ago it would have freaked her out if she knew his family had been talking about her, but a loving bond had bloomed over the course of her relationship with Lewis and now she considered them family as well. 

''Yeah,'' he walked up behind her, trapping her in a back hug, ''it made me think about something.'' 

''About what?'' Y/N looked at him through the mirror. 

''About us having our own kids.'' 

The sudden mention surprised her, her eyebrows raised and eyes widened. They had discussed it before, but some time had passed between that last conversation and now. ''Oh.'' 

''I know we said we would continue the discussion when it's my last F1 season, but I just couldn't help but think about it when you walked away with Willow.'' Lewis confessed, a dreamy look in his eyes. 

''I understand,'' she smiled, ''you'd be a great dad, Lewis.'' 

Sometimes it was hard to ignore the warm feeling she got when she saw Lewis with kids, it made her daydream about her future with the Formula One star. Y/N was okay with waiting until Lewis was ready to retire, though. She wanted a present father for her children- not one that was away most of the time and missed all the important milestones in their children's life. 

''And you will be the most amazing mother.'' He pressed a kiss to her temple, reveling in the feeling of having the love of his life in his arms. 

''Sir Uncle and Aunt Y/N sitting in a tree K-I-S-S-I-N-G! First comes love. Then comes marriage. Then comes baby. In a baby carriage!'' Kaiden and Willow chorused, yelling the popular playground nursery rhyme through the house. 

The couple laughed at the comedic interruption, pulling away from one another. ''Maybe it's not that bad to wait a few years, I'm not ready for that yet.'' Lewis joked, grabbing a towel and his phone. 

''Dream on, honey.'' Y/N teased, walking to their bathroom and taking the sunscreen from one of the cabinets. 

Lewis stuck his head through the bathroom door, a smirk playing on his lips. ''I do have a wild imagination.'' He winked, referring to his own song with Christina Aguilera. 

''Fuck off, XNDA,'' she tried throwing a discarded towel at him, ''I like Kendrick more, anyway.''

[troubatrain]

good for you - t. jost (part two)

a/n: apparently the only things i can finish are smut which is honestly on brand for me. this part is a bit of filler but to be fair this entire fic is smut with barely a plot so i meannnn but anyways, let me know how you guys like it :)

big shoutout to @hookingminor because nothing gets posted around here without ilyana fr fr

part one

warnings: it's smush time (smut)

So you fucked?

Mat was confused, posted up in his hotel room in Philly trying to navigate the bits of information he’d been getting out of you. You’d barely spoken to him all week, your classes were already killing you and you’d been missing the nightly Facetimes you promised when you moved. Mat thought there was another reason you were ignoring him, the evidence that you did the diry with Tyson was obvious. He was pretty sure you did, the mark on your neck wasn’t as hidden as you seemed to think it was, and you had a pep in your step that you only got after a good hook up.

“Yes Mat, we fucked,” You sigh, pressing your hands against the cool countertop and staring at Mat through your laptop screen, “This is your fault.”

“Oh it’s my fault two consenting adults had sex? Did he stay over?” Mat asks, trying to grab onto as many details as he could.

“No I kicked him out after a second round in the shower,” You admit, covering your eyes so you wouldn’t see the shit eating grin on your best friend’s face, “I kind of want to do it again.”

“Three’s the limit,” Mat reminds you of the golden rule of hook ups. You both came to the conclusion one day, if you fucked someone more than three times, you had more feelings than you realized and it was time to run or let yourself get hurt. Mat seemed to do just fine with it, and most of the time so did you, but Tyson was tempting you.

“Oh my god, he’s calling me,” You panic, Tyson’s contact flashing across your screen. Mat went to open his mouth, some sort of roast about how nervous you were would probably have followed if you hadn’t hung up on him. You waited for one more ring, not wanting to seem too eager to answer his calls, “Hi?”

“Hey,” Tyson drags out his greeting, pacing around his own apartment trying to figure out what the hell he thought he was doing. He wanted to see you again, clothing optional if he was being honest with himself, he just needed you to know somehow that you weren’t just a booty call, “What are you doing?”

“Drowning in homework already,” You whine, rolling your eyes at the chaos around you. The city has been jackhammering outside your place since the day you moved in, stalling you every time you tried to do anything.

“Everything alright?” Tyson asks, his voice was laced with concern by the crashes coming from your end of the phone.

“Yeah, sorry they’ve been doing construction outside since I moved in,” You sigh, rubbing a hand over your forehead, “I really need to get these done-”

“Bring your stuff over here,” Tyson blurts out, grabbing onto the opportunity to see you. He could handle hanging out while you studied, you were sort of friends before, how hard could it be?

“You want to spend time with me while I study?” You question, genuinely curious about what kind of dude you’re fucking wants to do nothing while you actually get some studying done.

“Yes Y/N, I want to spend time with you,” Tyson chuckles, shaking his head at your shock. Of course you didn’t do that with anyone hooked up with, but you’d never hooked up with anyone you knew outside of the bedroom either. Keeping both of those worlds separate kept your heart safe, “C’mon, I’ll even buy you dinner.”

Okay fine, I’m on my way.

***

This was much harder than Tyson thought.

It was easy at first, you came over a little while later and Tyson thought he could control himself. You settled on dinner a few minutes ago, and that’s when things went south. It was the pout, the way you looked at when Tyson said he wasn’t in the mood for sushi. You batted your eyes at him, a small pout on your face and the words Tys please following. Tyson was a goner, calling up for sushi almost immediately while you smirked at him for giving in so easily.

Now, Tyson was just watching you, and not even in a way you wouldn’t notice. Your nose was tucked into your notes, it’d scrunch up every once in a while and Tyson assumed that meant you got to something you didn’t want to deal with. Your cardigan had fallen down your shoulder, leaving a spot where Tyson’s lips could have just landed easily. Your feet were across his lap, Tyson’s large hands on your legs while his thumb rubbed along the fabric of your leggings. His hand was creeping up slowly, your lip between your teeth while you watched him, “Don’t get distracted princess.”

“You’re making that a little hard,” You whine, just as Tyson’s finger slid under the waistband on your pants, “Tys-”

“No keep reading,” Tyson reminds you, humming when you let his hands slide your leggings off. His lips pressed softly against your hips, your eyes far more focused on Tyson’s head between your thighs, “I’ll stop if you can’t focus.”

“Don’t do that,” You sigh, feeling Tyson’s smirk against your skin. Tyson chuckled, a finger sliding your panties to the side.

“This wet already huh? Physics must really get you going,” Tyson teases, glancing up at the book in your hands. His breath was hot against your core, “Smart and pretty is a dangerous combination princess.”

“So I’ve been told,” You let out a gasp, Tyson’s tongue lapping at your pussy slowly. Your hand fell from your book, pulling at Tyson’s curls. His mouth unlatched from your core, forcing you to let out a whine, “Tys that’s not fair.”

“I told you keep reading, can’t have you failing on my watch,” Tyson laughs, laying his head on your hips. He had you in the palm of his fucking hand, every bone in your body was on fire and you hated every second of it. The way you were whining for Tyson to touch you was uncharted terrority, a craving you couldn’t satisfy and it was going to get you into trouble. You focused on your work, a small hum came from Tyson before his finger slid up your folds, “Good girl.”

Your eyes were fixated on the words in front of you, retaining as much as you could while Tyson’s fingers were teasing your entrance. He was moving slowly, loving the way your body reacted to his touch in a way he could have only dreamed. One finger slid in, curling against your g-spot and pulling a moan out of you, “Fuck, I’m almost done-”

“Finish pretty girl, go ahead,” Tyson pushes, smirking to himself at your reaction. His mouth moved to your core, swirling his tongue around your clit and sucking on it. Your breathing was heavy, chest rising and falling while you finished the last paragraph before you were seeing stars. You tossed your book on Tyson’s coffee table, throwing your head back and grabbing his hair.

“Faster, Tys, please,” You beg, your hips lifting off the couch. Tyson slipped in another finger, tongue working against your core. He fingered you through your orgasm, fingers moving lazily in and out of

you when you finally came down, “Tyson, holy shit.”

Since when was Tyson this cocky? His smile was smug when you finally met his eyes, the same sparkle in his eye from the first time

you fucked. You pressed your lips to his, grinding your hips against him, “Your turn.”

Tyson’s eyebrows raised, a wave of shock over his face while you lowered yourself off the couch. You weren’t going to let Tyson just get off with a smile that smug. If Tyson wanted to play that game, you

needed to remind who he was playing it with. Your fingers slipped under his sweats, pulling down his boxers and letting his cock spring free. Tyson’s hand ran through your hair, a finger tracing your jawline while his thumb ran across your bottom lip, “You’re so fucking hot.”

“I’m aware,” You tease, licking the underside of his cock. You moved slowly, teasing him just as much he did to you. Tyson’s hands went to push your head down faster, so you pulled back with a smug smile that matched his, “No touching Tys.”

“C’mon, princess, that’s not fair,” Tyson’s hands flew back, a giggle falling through your lips at his whine. You swirl your tongue around the head of his cock, taking his length into your mouth until you couldn’t anymore. Tyson groans, his hands balling up into fists to keep himself from touching you, “Fuck, your mouth babe-”

The echo from Tyson’s doorbell bounced through his apartment, reminding you both of the food you were supposed to be waiting for. You pulled away, a smirk on your face, “I think you need to get that.”

“You did that on purpose,” Tyson groans, collecting himself enough to open the door for your food. You waited patiently, watching the way Tyson snapped back into the incredibly kind man you’d always known. If he thought you were dangerous, then he was absolutely lethal with the way he could speak to you as filthy as he did and smile as kindly as he does to others. He closed the door, watching back over to the couch where you were still sitting in just your panties and a tank top, pressing a quick kiss to your lips, “Let’s get you fed babe, I’ve got plans for us.”

“Hm, how about you eat it off of me?”

“I swear Y/N, you’re never leaving this apartment.”

[dolokhoded]

how race and al got together

(in canon era)

requested by @tarantulas4davey

this might be the last im writing for today because homework </3

but canon era race and al!!!!! they're gay

that's it. that's the whole thing, end of post.

ok no fr

race and albert are practically joined at the hip

never seen without each other

share a bunk whenever al stays at the lodge

for economical benefits

totally not because race likes to cuddle and albert has good arms for that

they've been friends for so long that they don't even realize when they started having feelings for each other

i've mentioned before that albert is really good with the littles and they just love him a lot

so that one night one of the little kids woke him up and told him he had a nightmare

and al hadn't realized he woke race up when he got out of bed but he took the little guy go have a glass of milk

they came back upstairs and he fell asleep squeezed between race and al

and race just saw how well albert could handle this and how he took care of this kid and when he felt him pull the blanket back up, making sure it was wrapped well around race's shoulders he just thought "god, i love him."

that was the last moment of calm in race's life because after that it was plain chaos

because out of nowhere albert suddenly got really attractive and as it seems being in love with your best friend isn't the easiest way to go

he's a total mess

cause he goes about 7 shades redder whenever al will casually throw his arm around his shoulders and he cannot stand to see his stupid smirk whenever he'll tease him about whatever and holy fuckin shit why can't he just kiss me already

that's his brain 24/7 after that

it's spring of '99 when they get together

albert and race are sitting on the fire escape when he tells him

"i'm gonna do it tonight."

race didn't understand at first

"i've packed my stuff, i'm leaving my pa's and coming to the lodge."

"for tonight?"

"for every night."

and so it happens

race is waiting right outside when albert bolts out of the house and if he blushed when al grabbed his hand as they ran to the lodge no one needs to know

and so they get to the lodge

adrenaline r u s h i n g

ralbert just loves to rely on adrenaline to get their shit together in everything i ever write jfc

and al pulls him into this big hug and even lifts him off the ground a little

they're both so happy that he's finally out of there jesus christ

so NATURALLY

guess what they do

lololol guess what happened after

they k i t h

they K I T H

albert just looks at him and he's literally like

yes i went to look for the simp emoji for this post

Y'ALL GOTTA HAVE AN ACCURATE DEPICTION OF AL SIMPING.

and he just fuckin smashes their lips together and race is like KAKTJSKYIWIYOAKYBWJ

but yeah <3

they're happy <3

and in the morning all the littles are rlly happy to see albert cause they didn't know he was staying at the lodge tonight

the not-so-littles have some interesting questions

but al doesn't care

he's got a boyfriend to cuddle

that's serious business, boys

[magicalplans]

What is love? Pt 2

im not sure why but it said I ran outta room on the other post lol weird I’ve seen stories much much longer but, moving on! I never saw her in there again but one time in the hall we passed each other and both did the up and down once over and smiled and kept going but there was apparently a time when I was out smoking and her group was inside behind tinted glass apparently she just sat there staring at me talking about me to her group like hey I gotta have him asap lol weird? Nah that’s just some real shit I don’t go to that place for that at all in fact last time I wouldn’t leave my room until then this girl got discharged cuz I was tryna avoid her fr like she would look at me like I was the stars sun and a free t shirt and bag of chips lol long story short I still.. ended up fuckin her lol actually I fuck every female I meet in there lol next time I’m handing out applications like check yes or no do you like your butthole licked lol cuz you know they all do right?! I wanted to tell my story though because i wanted to remind people like love is still real in this filthy world and when you find it cherish that shit and never get to comfortable because that’s when things will fall apart like I gave her all my trust in the world thought I was doing RIGHT and it backfires on me in life no matter what like I call the police cuz it sounds like my neighbors are murdering each other so what do they do? Cal me wake me back up! To say I need to come out and talk to police lol hell na y’all are tryna put me on a pedistol to be a SNITCH like who cares who called do your damn jobs lol I called you guys but I bet I come out you take my ass to jail huh lmao off topic ig but last time I called I waited on the front porch for em lol smoking a fat ass bowl of chronic hoping they’d let me give them both a cigarette cuz I knew that’s partly why they’re fighting lol in the end they lost there kids THANK YOU JESUS! But still , didn’t sit well with them of course so it still back fired on me lol call the police on the kid you raped say he claimed hes fbi to distort the fact you raped me and you’ve been molesting your own son his whole life lol all I said is your a sicko what’s my total so I can get away from you! You raped and assaulted me and got away with it lol I almost got arrested that night to thank you god I was apparently like there source of envy lol they loved my apartment and all my cool stuff lol I will get so off topic if I keep going but just know and don’t lose hope love is so strong and powerful and when your that high up the fall is so much worse then regular mess ups in life etc like I never wanna love again fuck intimacy it doesn’t feel right having sex now at all i feel so gross during it and after cuz all I can think about is how much NOBODY will ever be so beautiful to me again nobody else in my life here on earth will ever get my love again never will I have sex again and there be any kind of passion period like FUCK kissing all the other way around I don’t know how to even jerk off anymore porn disgust me because in my eyes you should only have sex when you love someone not just because your boyfriend is being a dick because you said y’all are otw then an hour rolls by and suddenly you can’t text back( for an hour ) I call her phone worried so YOU ANSWER IT ALL OUTTA breathe like mad at me already just for calling like “ my phone must of fell behind the bed” dude she was blowing my phone tf up the whole day like wanted to stay on FaceTime lol it makes no damn sense same day making plans looking at apartments she was just telling her friend like she wants to fucking Marry me and her and her dude are falling in love to and are talking bout moving in together mmm hmm sure that’s why they flat out left her ass high and dry, ditched her, went to his house so they do shitty Vicodin’s and smoke meth and totally just forget the fact you just did me dirtier then fuckin fuck like then you have him hmu lol like your bike for her stuff, I knew my bike was gone I should’ve would’ve could’ve walked her and her friend home yeah her

[nojammmms]

My Flower Jin x Reader (Part 3)

A/n Keep in mind that the first four parts have already been written and it’ll take longer to post the other parts.

© by @nojammmms aka me

Words-2.3k

Genre-fluff, maybe smut

Summary-  Everyone is born with a black and white flower bud ‘tattoo’ on their wrist and your flower blooms when you find your soulmate. However you have not had this luxury because you have yet to find your soulmate and the rules state that your flower only blooms once you and your soulmate realize your love for each other. You think that your supposed soulmate will never come until your life takes you on an unexpected u-turn.

Part One    Part Two    Part Three  

 Your dad was a good dad he just had his off days and he never abused you to the point it was really bad, the worse you've ever gotten was a couple slaps and hit with a metal rod on your arm. Your mom though wouldn't do anything she'd just watch while it was happening because she knew that she would get hit too if she intervened . It's not like you needed to tell the police or anything because it only happened like once every 2-3 years or something like that but you were still somewhat afraid whenever you came home late or just walked in the door regularly.(A/n sorry to make this sort of cliche but I needed to give you  reason to run so I just decided to give a bit of back round info but you can just ignore it really. I won't be bringing it up again)You weren't sure why you ran but that just made the matters worse. Your father chased after you and yelling about how he just wanted to talk. You didn't care though you still ran. You had run to the nearest gas station and decided to head back, your dad probably wouldn't be outside waiting for you so you could easily drop by Taehyungs' place and then climb through your window to get clothes and stay the night with him. You had done it multiple times before.

You had arrived at Tae's and knocked on the door. To your surprise the door opened. Standing in front of you was Yoongi with his messed up hair and bags under his eyes that could carry groceries. "y/n why are you here so early?" He was rubbing his eyes and you could smell the remaining alcohol in his breath. They all probably had HUGE hangovers.

"Yoongi, its 1:00 pm now let me in I need to talk to Tae it's important." He was confused as fuck but opened the door. You walked in to find Jimin, Jungkook and Taehyung piled in the living room one on top of the other and their legs intertwined. You pulled out your phone and snapped a picture for blackmail later. You walked towards them and spotted Tae in the middle. You decided not to wake them up and just wait for then to come back into consciousness. You head towards the stairs to be stopped by Yoongi.

"Yoongi let me pass I need to go upstairs." He wouldn't budge. "Come on Yoongi let me go."

"Why do you need to go upstairs?" He was honestly scary when he was partially drunk.

"Ok fine I ran from my dad again now let me go so I can climb to my room." You started to get angry.

"Wow sounds like you need some comforting." He leaned into you. 'Ugh why does hungover/drunk Yoongi have to be so persistent' You tried to push him off of you but it didn't really work. 'Oh god why isn't Tae awake when I need him' Tae was always the one to help you out around the guys when their drunk. He usually doesn't drink and neither do you but he wanted to make you feel better so he drank with you. You felt Yoongi's pressure come off of you and saw Tae helping you push him off. Cliche much. Once Yoongi was off of you he fell to the ground unconscious again.  

"Whoa Taehyung chill i'm ok." He was out of breath. Pushing someone off of you didn't seem like much but when your hungover it does.

"No you weren't you needed my help." He was genuinely worried.

"Yeah but i'm fine and you need to rest you have a hangover. I would've been fine." You mentally rolled your eyes on how cliche this sounded.

"Actually i'm not that hungover I didn't drink that much and you were not ok. Yoongi was all over you."

"So what he is still drunk he would've passed out before anything happened." You laughed at your remark. "Anyways" You cut the awkwardness short. You had to admit you always had a bit of a crush on Tae. "I'm going to do what I came here for."

"And what is that." He questioned and followed you up the stairs.

"I umm.... well let's saw that my dad wasn't happy about me coming home late. You don't mind if I spend then night here right?" You felt comfortable around Tae but telling personal stuff was never your thing.

"Awe my little y/n/n (Your nickname) Of course you can stay we always have fun. We can watch movies and stay up all night." He pulled you into a hug and you cringed at him calling you your most hated nickname.

"Who else will be here." You continues your journey to Taehyung's room which was right across from yours.

"It'll just be us so you know what that means." He winked at you and you automatically read his thoughts.

"Hide and seek through the whole house!!" You whispered screamed remembering the other boys still asleep. He nodded his head and opened his window.

When you were younger you would go back and forth your two houses by and makeshift bridge the two of you made to connect your rooms to each others. You didn't use it as much now that you were older but it came in handy at times like this. It was like a little rope swing that Tae's dad helped build to make sure it was secure. You climbed out his window. You always made sure your window was unlocked for purposes like this. You went through your window and quickly grabbed all your needed stuff and made you way out of there as fast as you could. You slept at Taehyung's house so much the spare bedroom was practically yours. You placed your stuff in the guest room and went down stairs to see all the boys up and on the couch. "Hey guys. how are you all feeling?" You said with a light smile.

"Hey y/n could you make us food?"Jimin said completely ignoring your question. Jungkook and Yoongi agreed with Jimin.

"Sure." You went to the kitchen and started to get the food ready. You decided to cook pancakes because they just woke up. Tae made it clear you did't have to cook for them but you didn't mind plus they all had to take it easy because of their hangovers. Taehyung said he might not have a hangover or a bad on at least but you weren't taking any chances.

They had all taken medicine for their heads and were watching a movie on the couch. They were all so cute snuggled up in the couch like that so you snapped another picture.  After cooking a dozen pancakes you were finally done. "Ok guys food is ready!" You placed the food on the table and sat down. Before you knew it all 4 boys had stampeded into the kitchen to enjoy their homemade breakfast.

They hastily finished their breakfast. The boys cleaned up since you cooked and went on their way home. It was finally just you and Tae. "Tae lets watch a movie." You jumped up and down latching your arm with his.

"But I wanna play hide and seek. Please and then we can watch what ever movies you like." He gave you his pout face.

You couldn't resist. "Okay fine but we are watching the entire Saw trilogy." His eyes went wide. You knowing how much he hates horror movies smirked at him.

"Just for that your counting first." He pushed you into the corner and ran off. There was a distant yell. "Count to one hundred no cheating." You giggled at his child like response . 1..2..3..4..5.

97..98..99..100. "Ready or not here I come." You turned around and was ready to begin the hunt for Taehyung.

You heard something coming from upstairs so you followed the sound. You approached the top of the stars and was greeted by the dark hallway ahead. You heard the sound coming from farther down the hallway. It sounded like a giggle. Tae always had a weak spot while playing hide and go seek, no matter how hard he tried he would always make some kind of noise. You continued down towards his bedroom. Trying to be as silent as possible you cracked the door open. The light was off and the room was dark. You opened the door little by little until you could make out the silhouettes of the furniture in the room. You walked in and grazed the room with your eyes trying to figure out what didn't belong. Again you heard it a faint giggle coming from the fr side of the room. You couldn't deny that you were somewhat scared but you still stayed silent. You walked towards the corner that was concealed by a table. You yanked up the tabled cloth and there was a balled up Tae hiding in the corner.

"AHHHHHHH!!!!!" He let out and ear piercing scream, crashed his head onto the table above causing to knock over. You fell over in a fit of laughter. He crawled out and jumped on top of you pinning you to the ground.

"Tae g-get off of me." You continued to laugh relaying the scene in your head. "Taehyung get off!" He stayed put.

"Not until you stop laughing." HE said in his low voice causing your breath to hitch and stop laughing. "Good." He got off of you and stood up offering a hand to you. You took it and pulled you up. "Okay your turn to hide." He sped down the stairs and started to count. You walked out of the room and down the stairs being like a mouse silent as possible. You spotted a closed next to the stairs and opened it. It was full of jackets and boxes. You found a space behind the boxes and climbed into the closet. You reached out and closed the door it was pitch black,you covered yourself with jackets and stayed quiet. You heard his foot steps pass the door. "Y/N COME OUT." You giggled.

"Oh shit." You whispered. He opened the door and examined the room. You didn't dare to breathe. After a minute of brushing through the coats and boxes he closed the door and you left out a breath of relief.

"I got you." He slung the door open and jumped on top of you. "Haha I knew you were there." He gloated.

"Then why didn't you pull the coat off the first time." You stated pointing out his flaw.

"Uhh because I wanted to make sure were really there." He hesitated but delivered a believable answer.

"Ok now let me get out this is really uncomfortable." Taehyung helped you out with little struggle. "Okay now that we played hide and seek we have to watch the Saw movies." You could see the fear in his eyes grow at the mention of the horror movies.

"But, we only played two rounds and they were really quick." His words quickened trying to stall as much as possible.

"Ok fine two more rounds." You walked towards the corner and started to count. You found Taehyung in five minuets. It was his turn to count. You didn't try to hid yourself well because you really wanted to watch the movies. You hid in the upstairs bathroom behind the curtain and was found in ten minuets.

"Okay Tae movie time." You grabbed his hand and ran down the stairs pulling him behind you. You grabbed a big blanket while Tae cooked the popcorn. He sat down and you and him snuggled under the blanket as you pressed play. He was practically on top of you as the movie played on. Every time there was a little bit of blood he would bury his head in your shoulder. The first movie had ended and it was 9:00. You had ended up on Taehyung's shoulder and was asleep.

"y/n wake up." He shook your arm jostling you awake. You stood up to stretch.

"ok bed time good night." You started to walk away.

"what no it's only nine." He grabbed your and pulled you back. You landed on his lap. "I may not want to watch the Saw movies but it's to early to go to bed. Let's watch something else." You tried to slide off his lad but his tight grip on your arm prevented it.

"Oh ok. What do you want to watch?" Your face slowly became red. He didn't notice and you were glad. You had always liked Taehyung and thought maybe something could happen between you but your feelings have changed sine Jin arrived. You may not know him well but he's got that feeling about him that you couldn't escape.

"How about Titanic." Tae said breaking your thoughts.

"Uh yeah sure." He stood up causing you to fall off his lap. You stood up and sat back down on the couch. You covered yourself with the blanket and Taehyung sat down next to you. He put his arm around you which is unusual for him.

****time skip brought to you by Tae's box smile****

The movie had ended and it was getting late. You were getting tired so you stood up. "Hey Tae i'm going to bed."

"Ok. So am I it's late" He got up and turned off the tv leaving the two of you in darkness. Tae walked a head of you up the stairs so you wouldn't trip on anything. You had both reached your rooms so you decided to say good night.

"Good night Tae. See you tomorrow." You said and waited for a response.

"Good night y/n. Love you." He smirked and walked into his room shutting and locking the door behind him.

[save-the-cronch]

Sincerely Me

Welcome to my fic that is using a title that is overused! Anyways, this is based off a set of one-shots I posted, originally, on my other account. 

Enjoy!

Read on AO3

Evan kept his head down as he walked to the school’s computer lab. He had to quickly finish his ‘self-help’ letter before his mom picked him up for his therapy session with Dr. Sherman. Slowly, Evan pushed open the door to the lab and shuffled over to a computer on the right side. Silently, he logged into the computer, found the google chrome search logo, clicked on it, and signed onto his google drive account. He moved the cursor over to the google doc containing his letter. After he clicked on it, he watched as a new paged popped up, and his letter loaded onto the screen. Evan quickly read over the letter, and noticed that he left off with:

Maybe if I could just talk to her. Maybe, nothing would be different at all.

He silent thought for a second, tapping his fingers on the table. Eventually, he began to type out the last part.

I wish everything was different. I wish I was a part of something. I wish that anything I said mattered to anyone. I mean, let’s face it, would anyone even notice if I just disappeared tomorrow?

He stopped typing briefly. Evan knows this isn’t what his therapist had in mind for him to write. These letters are supposed to say the good things in life, but when there aren’t any good things, why make it up? Why not just tell the damn truth? No one would even care anyways.

Sincerely, your best and dearest friend, me.

Suddenly, his phone began to ring. Evan fumbled with it in his pocket. He quickly checked the caller ID and was relieved to see it was his mom calling him.

“H-hello?” He asked. Evan has always hated phone calls, can't stand them. Even though it was just his mom calling, he still stumbled on his words.

“Evan, I’m not going to be able to bring you to your appointment. They needed extra help at the hospital and I was the only one on duty. Also right afterward I’m going to class, there are leftovers in the fridge for dinner.” Heidi Hansen rushed her words as if she really needs to get back to work. Which, Evan assumed, she probably does.

God, Evan thought, I'm such a burden, she wouldn't need to work so hard if I wasn't around. I have so many problems. She has to spend too much money on my pills and therapy, I hate it.

"O-okay, yeah, I’ll ea-t that.” Even while he says this, Evan knows he won’t.

“Did you finish your letter sweetie?" Evan knows that all his mom wants is for him to get better. However, he also knows that she knows she'd have a better life without him.

“Yeah, I just pr-printed it n-ow.” He says, clicking on the little printer button on the top right of the screen.

“That’s fantastic sweetie. I’ve gotta go now, but I’ll see you tomorrow, okay?” Totally fantastic. Except for the fact that his letter basically states that he wants to just disappear and never come back.

Evan nods his head but then realizes she probably couldn’t even see him. Stupid. “Okay, love you.”

“Love you too honey.” And with that, she hangs up the phone.

Evan sighs once again, and then, he stands up to go and grab his letter. Before he can even take a step, Connor Murphy appears in front of him. Oh great. Evan really hopes he's still not mad about this morning. Connor had thought that Evan laughed at him, and so he shoved him to the ground. However, what had really happened was that Evan didn't laugh at him, He would never laugh at him. He would never laugh at anyone really. Evan was just nervous, and so he let out a nervous chuckle. Because of this, Evam have a mental freak out moment. He still didn’t know if Connor’s here to yell at him some more or what but he was absolutely terrified.

“Evan? Right?” Connor asks, looking Evan up and down, then into his eyes. Evan shivered slightly and nodded. Evan didn't shiver because Connor was scary, he's actually really pretty. Like his sister, Zoe. Wait, not the time Evan. Shut up. Evan looked back at him, and he noticed something. Connor seemed like he was trying to tell Evan something, but then seems to think better if it and instead says, “How’d you break your arm?”

It was an easy question to answer, Evan had practiced the answer many times, but he still stuttered.

“Oh, uh, I f-fell. Out of a tr-tree.” Evan stuttered out, picking at the hem of his shirt. Evan hates lying, but he didn't want people to see how broken he really was.

“Well, that’s the saddest fucking thing I’ve ever heard. Oh my god!” He laughs out.

Oh, how wonderful. Evan thinks. Now I'm an even bigger loser.

Evan nodded, “Yeah, uh, yeah.”

Connor glances at Evan’s cast, and he seems to notice no one has signed it.

Shit, now I not just a loser, but a friendless loser. Evan doesn’t know how this could get any worse.

“No one’s signed your cast.” Connor points out as if Evan hadn’t already realized no one liked him.

“Yeah, uh, I kn-know.” Evan just wishes he could stop stuttering, dammit!

“I’ll sign it.” Connor offers, probably pitying Evan. Defiantly pitying him. Most people did.

“Oh, you, you don’t have to.” Evan mentally hits himself, what is he doing? He needs his mom to think he actually talked to people. Why is he telling him no?

Connor ignores him and He holds out a hand, expecting a sharpie. Thank God he's persistent.

Evan nods his head and then stuffed his hand into his pocket. He pulled out the unused sharpie and handed it to the taller boy.

He grips Evan’s hand and tugs it towards him. “Ow,” Evan mumbled.

“Sorry,” Connor seemed to have pushed it out. As if he's not used to saying sorry. Connor quickly scrawls out his name, filling up half of the blonds cast with it.

“Oh, thanks,” Evan said, with a kind of sarcastic, sort of thankful, and a bit of wanting to get the hell out of there asap tone of voice. Thankfully though, Connor doesn’t seem to notice and smiles at the shorter boy. However, it’s more of a grimace. He then takes a piece of paper from his bag and lifts it up.

“Is this yours? I saw it at the printer. ‘Dear Evan Hansen,’ You're last name is Hansen, right?”

“Uh, yeah that’s mine, um, th-thanks.” Evan reached to take it, but Connor pulls back.

“Because there’s Zoe? What the hell,” He whispers this, seemingly confused, and Evan begins to freak out. Once again.

“C-connor, please give that ba-back.”

“You did this on purpose!” Connor’s yelling now, Evan hopes he can maybe calm him down?

“What?” Very good Evan, ask a fucking question. This is super helpful.

“Yeah, you saw I was the only other person in here so you printed this wanting me to see it.” Evan knows that Connor is totally misunderstanding the situation. Evan also knows that he has no clue on how to deal with this.

“No, I-”

“You were hoping I’d freak out right? So you can tell everyone what a fucking freak I am?”

“No, please-”

“Well FUCK YOU!” The long-haired boy pushed past Evan and runs out of the computer lab. All Evan can do is stare at him as he runs, forgetting that he still has his letter.

“You what?” Jared asks from the other side of the phone, clearly enjoying the situation that Evan had gotten himself into.

“I-I printed my letter out at school and Co-connor saw it. He thought I wanted t-to get him ma-mad! He saw that I me-mentioned Zoe, and-”

“Wait, so he read some crazy sex letter you wrote about his sister? That’s messed up.” Evan starts to really hope that Jared stops laughing soon.

“It wasn’t a sex le-letter Jared! It’s for my therapy-therapist.” Evan is trying to explain this the best he can, but Jared doesn't like to listen. He never listens.

“You write sex letters to your therapist? That's kinky.”

“JARED!”

“Whatever man, but why are you telling me this?” Evan can imagine that Jared is probably lying upside down on his bed, playing video games. He's definitely not paying attention to their conversation at all.

“Because you’re my cl-only family fr-friend.” That's all they’ll ever be because Jared knows that Evan is too much of a weirdo.

“Yeah, okay, I gotta go dude. Good luck with that sex letter!”

“IT’S NOT A-” Before Evan can finish, Jared hangs up the phone. Evan groans, tossing his own phone onto his bed.

How the hell is he supposed to convince Connor Murphy that that letter was meant to cause no harm.

Also, how is he supposed to get it back from him before he tells the whole school? And, once the school knows how will he live through the taunts? No, wait, forget the jokes. Connor is probably gonna kill him.

God Dammit.

  Connor stared at the orange bottle in his hand as he sat on his bed. For once it was made, he wanted to feel productive for his last few hours alive. He also had a box filled with all the stuff he had taken from Zoe over the years placed on his desk.  He has about an hour before Zoe gets home from jazz band practice, and his mom won’t be home for another two. Connor isn’t sure when his dad will be home, but it’ll probably be late, as usual.

Connor uncaps the bottle and empties all the pills into his open palm. With no more thought, he downs all the pills and lays back onto his bed, waiting for the effects to kick in.

Zoe Murphy usually considers herself a lucky girl. She’s lucky because she made jazz one as a freshman, and sits in the first chair. She’s lucky that she is smart enough to be in most senior classes. She’s lucky that Alana Beck actually considers her a friend. She’s lucky that her brother doesn’t follow through on his death threats.

Zoe Murphy is also lucky that she got out of jazz band earlier than usual. A lot usual. AT least, according to the doctors, she is. Is she had called the ambulance not even five minutes after she had, her brother would have had no chance of survival.

So yeah, Zoe Murphy is a lucky girl. Luck apparently just comes naturally to her, and even though her relationship with Connor has been torn to shreds years ago, she’s glad that she’s luckier than most. Really fucking glad.

“Yo, Evan, did you hear what happened to Murphy last night?” Those are the first words Evan hears out of Jared’s mouth on the second day of school. Evan shuts his locker and looks at his family friend. Jared is practically bouncing on the balls of his feet, gripping the straps of his backpack.

“N-no, what happened to-to him?”

“I’m not exactly sure, but you know Calvin Ferrell? Well he lives across from the Murphy’s and he told Kelly Petie who told Kyle Gold who I overheard telling Kevin Lakes that an ambulance showed up at their house around five last night, and Calvin saw Zoe Murphy running out with paramedics pushing a stretcher with Connor laying on it out of the house and into the ambulance. Calvin doesn’t know what happened to him but Connor isn’t at school and neither is Zoe. So obviously it was something really big right? I mean why else would paramedics be there?” Jared is much too enthusiastic about this.

“J-jared! Why do yo-you seem so, so ex-excited? Wh-what if he di-died. That wo-would be te-terr-terrible!” Evan whisper yells.

“Eh, I wouldn’t worry about it, I mean so what? No one likes him anyway.”

“Jared th-that isn’t nice! You sh-shouldn’t say, say things like that!” Evan remembers how alone he felt this past summer, and knows that whatever Connor was feeling is probably ten times worse than what he feels. He hopes Connor isn’t dead, he decides that if, no when, Connor gets back to school, Evan will try his best to try and brighten the brown haired boy’s day.

“Whatever tree boy, I’m going to class.” Jared shrugged his shoulders and left Evan standing in the hallway by himself. Evan sighs. He knows Jared fakes a lot of how he acts. He just wishes Jared was like he was when they were younger, his actual friend.

Dear Connor Murphy,

I heard about what happened the other week and I want you to know I failed as well, over the summer. You’re not alone.\

Sincerely Me.

Connor stared dumbfounded at the letter in his hands. It was his second day back after being out of school for three weeks, and he had no idea as to why a letter had fallen out of his letter. He was even more confused when he realized the letter was addressed to him and not whoever owned the locker next to him. Then after reading the two sentenced note, he felt something inside him. It wasn’t happiness at being recognized, it was more like relief. Someone out there, though he had no idea who knew in some way how he felt. And who wouldn’t get the smallest spark of hope after realizing that?

Evan watched from around the Corner as Connor neatly folded up the letter and placed it in his hoodie pocket. Then he saw the brown haired boy give a small smile, and Evan couldn’t help but smile as well.

For the next month, Evan continues to write letters to Connor. He writes the letters on Monday and Wednesdays after his homework, then on Tuesday and Thursday mornings he shoves them through the cracks in Connor’s locker. Evan know’s that Connor doesn’t check his locker until after third period, so he knows that he won’t be caught.

Sometimes the letters contain personal information as Evan knows that Connor doesn’t know it’s him, so he’s not worried, for once, about being taunted. Sometimes they just include small things that happen over the week. Usually, the Tuesday letters are the long ones, informing Connor about Evan’s weekend, the Thursday ones usually remind Connor how great he is.

Evan’s noticed that Connor is usually happier on the letter days. He’s also noticed that Connor skips school a lot, but he’s always there on Tuesday and Thursday mornings.

Connor has gotten a total of six letters so far.

The second one was almost as short as the first, giving Connor one simple tip on calming down.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Counting down from ten is always a great strategy to calm down, in my experience at least. Also, my mom, she does it a lot, especially when my dad tries to contact us. He’s very inconsiderate when he does.

Sincerely, Me

Connor felt like punching this guy’s dad after reading it.

The third letter talked a lot about trees, as did the fifth letter. The fourth told Connor that the mystery guy has a crush on a girl in junior year. He wondered if Zoe knew the girl as the letter never mentioned her name. The sixth letter was longer than usual. It seemed as though Letter Guy, as Connor now calls him, was stressing about something and just couldn’t stop talking. It started out about a math test the kid had, then there was a paragraph on why trees are so important to the environment, then two sentences wondering if Connor liked trees as much as he did, and it ended with five sentences of the guy apologizing as to how long the letter was. Connor thought it was hilarious, and kind of adorable. He kept that letter on his bedside table.

After the next two letters come, and Connor finds himself wondering who the guy is, he realizes that he might actually sort of like him. But he tries to ignore it for two reasons. First, why would this guy like him back, especially since he already likes someone else? Second, Connor doesn’t even know who writes the letter, how can he like someone he doesn’t know. However, Connor does know the letter guy, very well from all the information he writes down. He just doesn’t know his name or what he looks like.

Evan sits behind Connor in math class, which Evan actually quite enjoys. Math is fourth period, which means Connor comes in right after reading Evan’s notes on Tuesday’s and Thursday’s. This also means that Evan gets to see the small smile on Connor’s face due to the letters that he receives.Evan always enjoys seeing that smile. It tells him that he was once again successful in making Connor happy. Evan knows that it isn’t a permanent fix, but he also knows that it works for at least an hour. And an hour is better than nothing in his opinion.

After Thanksgiving break, Evan realizes that he hasn’t thought, or written, about Zoe in a month. This really confuses him, how can he go from fawning over the guitar player to never even thinking about her? He isn’t entirely sure.

That is, at least, until the first Thursday of December and Evan catches himself staring at the older Murphy all of math class. At first, Evan tells himself that he was just making sure his letters were still making Connor happy. It wasn’t until Evan was in his room, trying to go to bed while still thinking about the long-haired boy that he shoots up, now fully awake.

“Fuck I like the school shooter.”

Which then leads to Evan actually slapping himself.

“Dammit Evan, stop listening to Jared.”

Evan continues to mutter to himself about the fact that he has just figured out that he is bi. However, he isn’t just bi, no, he’s really really bi for the kid he writes letters to, to make him feel better.

That’s when his mother, Heidi Hansen, Knocks on the door.

“Sweetie are you alright?” She asks, concerned that her son is mumbling to himself at eleven at night.

“Yeah, I’m fine!” Evan shouts back, quickly laying back down.

That night Evan falls asleep with only the thought of Connor Murphy on his mind.

The next letter Connor received he was surprised to see that the mystery writer told him he wasn’t into the junior girl anymore. At that, Connor walked to his math class with a small spring in his step. He knows that the letter boy might not be into guys, but he doesn’t like the junior anymore, he has a slight chance now.

When he gets to math, the kid that sits behind him, Evan Hansen, already has a notebook out. Connor remembers in middle school when he had a small crush on the blond haired kid. He can’t help but hope that Evan was the mystery writer.

Connor spends all of math wondering what Evan’s hand in his would feel like.

When Connor walked into math, Evan couldn’t help but blush at Connor’s happy gait. Evan can’t help but hope that it’s because Evan doesn’t like Zoe anymore, and maybe Connor likes him back. But that’s insane, who would like the wallflower anyway?

Evan spends the rest of the class wondering what Connor’s hair would feel like with Evan’s fingers combing through it.

The week leading up to winter break, Evan can’t stop thinking about what he should get Connor for Christmas. Sure, Evan is Jewish and celebrates Hanukkah, he knows that Connor celebrates Christmas. He only knows this because he overheard Zoe asking Alana to come over on Christmas Eve, as Zoe’s parents apparently want to meet her.

Evan wasn’t sure on what to get Connor until he was at the store with Jared because apparently he needed knew flannel and his mom thought he was ditching Evan. Which, he usually does, but Mrs. Kleinman doesn’t need to know that. Evan had seen a couple black hoodies and remembered that Connor’s were all worn out and faded. Then as he was walking up to the cash register, money already in hand, he saw a bowl full of nail polish and quickly plucked out a black bottle. Connor usually as his nails painted, sure they were almost always chipped, but they were also always black. Black seemed to be his signature color.

Wednesday night, Evan wrapped the gift for Connor, taping his note to the present.

Connor Murphy didn’t go to bed until one am that night. Usually, he’s asleep by 12 on Mondays and Wednesdays, but this time he stayed up. He needed to get it perfect. Sure there was a chance that Mystery Writer didn’t celebrate Christmas, but that’s why Connor is signing the card Happy Holidays instead. It doesn’t need to be a Christmas gift. Just a thank you gift.

Thursday morning, when Evan went to put the gift outside Connor’s locker, he was surprised to see it propped open, and not shut like normal. Curiosity was digging at him, so Evan carefully opened the locker and was even more shocked to see a small wrapped item on the bottom of Connor’s locker. He picked it up, and then he noticed the card, which was addressed to him. Well not him exactly, but it did say To: My Mystery Writer and who else would Connor be calling a mystery writer?

Evan felt a small smile grow on his face as he placed the gift he got Connor on the bottom of his locker, and quickly put the one Connor got him in his bag. He then swiftly shut the locker and made his way to his first class.

After third period, when Connor got to his locker, he was glad to see that Mystery Writer took the gift, he was also happy to find out that he was left a gift as well.

Throughout math class, Evan couldn’t focus. He just stared at Connor’s head. Which probably wasn’t a good idea in hindsight as Finals is the week he gets back from spring break, and he really should be paying attention the review they’re doing. But at that moment, he really didn’t care.

The first thing Evan does when he gets home is putting the gift Connor got him under the small house plant he has on his desk. Even though he doesn’t do Christmas, maybe this one time he can pretend.

When his mom gets home and sees the gift on his desk, she asks where it came from.

“O-oh, well um. There’s this b-boy, C-connor Murphy, and earlier this year he wa-was in the hos-hospital? So, um, I decided to, uh, write him letters. I-I wanted to ma-make him feel good. So, uh, I gu-guess he got me-me a gift?”

“Oh honey, that’s so kind of you! I’m so glad you have another friend!”

Heidi was so excited to see the excitement in her son’s eyes as he talked about Connor.

Evan didn’t have the heart to tell his mom that Connor didn’t know it was him writing the letters, which is how he ended up baking cookies with his mom the day after Hanukkah ended. As soon as they were done, Heidi had already left for work, and Evan was tasked with the job of bringing them over to the Murphy’s place.

Before he left, he found a pen and a piece of paper to quickly scrawl out a note.

Cynthia is a bit confused as to who would be ringing her doorbell at nine at night. She is even more confused when no one is at the door, and she looks down to see a plate of cookies with a note taped to it. She leans down to pick up the plate, walks back inside and shuts the door. When she gets to her kitchen, she plucks the note from the plate and reads it.

Dear Connor Murphy

Have an excellent Christmas

Sincerely Me.

Cynthia can’t help but grin at the fact that Connor has a friend. She can’t remember the last time Connor even talked about a friend. Cynthia places the note back onto the plate, then proceeds to pick the plate up and carry it upstairs to her son’s room.

She knocks twice on the door, and the music that was blaring from inside is turned off. She hears heavy footsteps and then the door opens, revealing her son who seems to not have gotten dressed today. Instead, he is in sweats, a tank top, and has an apron covered in paint over his pajamas.

Cynthia doesn’t fail to notice the hard glare on her son’s face, and so she just holds up the plate.

Connor glances at it, and noticing the note, he picks it up and reads it.

Cynthia also doesn’t fail to notice the small smile and slight blush that Connor suddenly now has, as he takes the plate of cookies and ducks back into his room.

Cynthia can already tell that whoever this new friend is, is a good fit for her boy.

Christmas morning comes, and Evan figures that now is a good time to open Connor’s present. He brings the gift over to his bed. He tears open the wrapping paper and finds a book with a note covering the title.

Dear Mystery Writer

You always talk, or write, about how you love trees, so, here.

Evan flips the paper over and sees a beautifully drown Oak tree on the back. Evan knew Connor drew, as that’s what he does for most of math, but he never knew he could draw so, realistically. Before even glancing at what the title says, Evan gets up to pin the tree to his headboard, smiling proudly at it, before looking at the book.

Evan laughs when he sees it’s the Encyclopedia of Trees.

Connor also sits on his bed as he opens Mystery Writer’s gift. First, he looks at the note that was taped to the gift.

Dear Connor Murphy,

Your sweatshirts seem to have a lot of holes, I didn’t know if it was for comfort or what but I got you a new one. Oh, and I really like your nails so here’s some more polish.

Sincerely me’

Connor can feel the blush already beginning on his cheeks.

He unwraps the gift and instantly notices how soft the two hoodies are. He also decides that he will be using the new nail polish until it ran out. He can also feel his blush deepen and nearly scolds himself for feeling and acting this way. He shouldn’t start to like someone he doesn’t know the name of. He really shouldn’t. But then again, when has he ever done something he should do?

A week after school is back in session, the Kleinmans come over to the Hansen’s place for dinner. When Jared enters Evan’s room, he instantly notices the tree that’s still pinned up, and as Evan was gathering snacks downstairs, it felt only reasonable for Jared to see if he could see who drew it. It certainly wasn’t Evan, as his art skills were no better than Jared, who could only draw cartoon cats and nothing else.

When Jared is close enough to read the signature, he would have spat out his drink, if he was drinking something. Why would Conor Murphy draw Evan Hansen a tree?

When Evan walks back into his room, Jared plays innocent and asks his family friend who drew the tree.

When Evan blushes and says that it’s from Connor Murphy, Jared demands that Evan tells him why Connor drew him a tree.

After Evan is done explaining the letters, Jared can’t stop laughing.

“So first, you write sex letters about his sister, and now you’re writing sex letters about and for him?”

“No! Th-they’re not se-sex letter Jared! An-and I only wro-wrote about him on-once!” Which, was the wrong thing for Evan to say as it throws Jared into another fit of hysterics.

For the next month at school, Jared starts to act differently when he’s around Connor, and Connor severely hopes that Jared isn’t the letter guy as that would mean Connor has a crush on Jared, and he really hopes that isn’t the case.

However, for a slight second Connor is relieved when Jared tells him who the writer is.

Connor was casually reading one of the letters when Jared pops up and says “I see you have another love note from Evan tree boy Hansen.”

At that Connor watches as Jared's eyes widen and he quickly leaves. It takes a second for the brand new information to kick in, but then Connor realizes that the cute dorky kid that sits behind him in math. The kid he’s always had a small crush on. The kid he silently hoped was the mystery writer, is actually the mystery writer, and Connor doesn’t remember the last time he was this happy.

Evan was just about to walk out of school when he suddenly heard someone calling his name. He turned to see Connor Murphy running to catch up with him.

“Evan, can we talk? Now?”

Evan isn’t sure why Connor wants to talk to him, but being who he is, he gives a simple nod and lets Connor lead him to the tree that he usually sits under during lunch.

“So, uh, Jared told me you were the one writing letters to me. Is, uh, is that true?” Connor seems nervous and a little hopeful. Evan isn’t sure why.

“H-he told yo-you?”

Connor nods.

“OhgodI’msosorryIprobablywasn’tthepersonyouwantedtpbewritingyouletters. Sorry.”

“Uh, could you repeat that.”

Evan takes in a large breath of air before repeating his previous statement. “Oh god, I’m so sorry, I probably wasn’t the person you wanted to be writing you letters. Sorry.” Evan’s nervous that Connor hates him now, and really doesn’t want that. He wants to be friends with him, especially since that’s the closest he can probably get to Connor liking him back.

“No! I’m glad it’s you. You’re probably the nicest kid in school, anyone else I would think was making fun of me. I just wanted to say thanks. So, uh, thanks.” And with that, Connor dashes away from Evan.

The next day at school, Evan is surprised to see a note flutter to the ground after opening his locker. He bent down to pick it up and is happy to find that the letter is from Connor.

From that day onwards, Evan and Connor correspond with letters for each other. They both want to talk outside these letters, be friends in real life as well.

In February Connor finally lets himself fall completely in love with the blond haired boy. However, he doesn’t tell anyone, especially Evan. Either way, Evan likes someone else. Sure, they have some of the same features, but there are plenty of kids at their school with brown hair. And the way Evan describes his crush? Definitely not him. One letter Connor received was all about this crush. Apparently, he has beautiful brown hair, gorgeous blue eyes with a small bit of brown in the left, and a face that was crafted by God himself.

Sure, Connor has brown hair, but so does half the student body. And yes, Connor has a bit of brown in his left eye, but so does Jared Kleinman and this other kid in his AP lit class. And Connor’s face was most definitely not crafted by God. No way in hell.

So yeah, Connor accepted that he likes Evan. Like, a lot. But he’s also accepted that Evan will never like him back. And that’s okay. Or so Connor tells himself.

It isn’t until mid-March that Evan asks Connor if he wants to go grab ice cream on Friday after school.

Connor replies back with a no shit and his phone number.

After school, Connor drove Evan to A la mode, his favorite ice cream place, and they hung out at Evan’s house until Connor left at eleven at night, running into Heidi Hansen, who was thrilled to finally meet the boy her son speaks so highly of. She then asked Connor for his mom’s number so she could talk to her.

Both moms were ecstatic to hear about their sons hanging out.

They were also happy to talk to each other about them.

Both boys had a blush on their faces for an hour afterward.

And both of them fell asleep with the other on their minds, once again.

For the last two and a half months of school, Connor and Evan are practically attached at the hip. Evan was at Connor’s house for Easter since Evan doesn’t celebrate it and his mom was working. Then, they skip prom and just hang out at Connor’s house watching 80’s movies. They fell asleep on the couch, Evan’s head on Connor’s shoulder, and Connor’s head on Evan’s head.

At the end of senior year, Evan informs Connor that he didn’t apply to any schools so that he could take a gap year and save up for school for a while longer. Connor decides then and there to just not go to college until Evan goes. Connor doesn’t want to be alone, he’s not good at making friends, and to get through life he just really needs one. He got lucky with Evan. He doesn’t think he will get as lucky again.

Evan gets a job at the Pottery Barn, and Connor works at the Michael's next door. They always share their lunch breaks together, and they carpool to work as Evan doesn’t like to drive, and Connor does. Plus it means more time being together, and neither of them will pass up that opportunity.

That winter, Connor, and Evan were at Evan’s house. Heidi was at work, taking on the night shift and wouldn’t be home until early the next morning. The boys took advantage of that situation and broke out a bottle of bourbon to share as they watched Lord of the Rings.

By the time they were on the second movie, both of them had a pretty good buzz going on.

And both boys were a little Childish when drunk.

“Hey, hey Evan.” Connor whispers, giggling.

“What?” After there’s a slight pause, Evan asks again, “Co-connor, what?”

“Oh! Oh right! I wanted to tell you something.” Connor isn’t giggling anymore, but he still has a large smile adorning his face.

“And?”

“It’s very important. I’ve know for a while now. I wanted to tell you sooner, but I was nervous. Haha, I’m kind of nervous now, but like, less than usual. You know?”

“Co-con, just to-tell me. Please?”

“Oh right! I haven’t said it yet! Well, I like you!”

“I know th-that Con! That’s why we-we’re best fri-friends!”

“No! I mean I love you! Like, I want to date you and kiss you! All the time. But I don’t cause I don’t think you’d like that.”

“Well, th-that’s not true Co-con! I want to kiss you all the time too!”

“Really?” Connor’s very surprised, but also extremely happy.

“Ye-yeah!”

“Then, can I kiss you?”

Evan answers with a swift nod and Connor grabs Evan’s shirt collar and pulls him in for a sweet kiss, that’s long overdue.

When they pull back, neither of the boys have their eyes opened all the way. They’re both smiling, and they’re both still gripping onto each other.

Evan goes in for another kiss, and they fall back onto the couch, kissing lazily until they fall asleep, Evan on top of Connor, arms, and legs tangled, smiles still on their faces.

When Heidi comes home, she promptly ignores the bottle of whiskey on the coffee table. Instead, she grabs a blanket from the basket by the TV and spreads it over her son and his new boyfriend. She smiles as she takes out her phone to send a picture to Cynthia, telling her that she expects the twenty bucks the next time they go out for coffee together.

She also decides that she’ll talk to the boys about the bottle after she congratulates them.

[terraclae]

One-eye

Lore pings: @yuushanoah-fr @cityofinoue

I wanted to write Arodan talking to the source of stress for the Paramo residents. A short one before I post my last chapter so far so it connects better.

'You. One-eye.'

'Is that some dumb new nickname for me?' Arodan pushed a book back onto the shelf and turned around. The evening light cast the common room in a very low light and seeing the walking equivalent of a shadow stand behind him was disquieting to say at the least. Before Arodan knew it he had bumped right back into the bookshelf and a book leant against the back of his head. 'Sachairi.'

'Arodan.' Sachairi nodded. He looked fairly normal although Arodan sometimes swore he was fading around the edges sometimes. 'Caught you off guard?'

'I was kind of in the middle of something, yes.' Arodan's gaze jumped to the shelf momentarily and slowly he stepped forward again with a hand holding on to the toppling book behind him. 'Is there uh… Anything you need from me?'

'Well, I meant to say sorry actually.'

Arodan blinked a few times and scanned Sachairi up and down. 'Sorry?'

'Yeah, for uh… In the crypt. And some few other times.' He rubbed the back of his head and bumbled around a little. 'I don't want to be dishonest and say it was completely my own initiative because Carmen encouraged me. But I'm...'

'Not a very tactful person?'

Sachairi grunted something nondescript that moment and Arodan could guess he was counting to three to not get hissy about the comment. '... Yes. I'm not tactful, and I'm not good with words, others are. And I'm sorry if I get angry sometimes.'

Well, it seemed genuine enough to Arodan. He might use the opportunity to speak to Sachairi now he had it to measure what the others meant when he acted more like himself like this. 'If I'm allowed to ask, does that have any reason?'

'Well, that...' Sachairi bit his lip and guiltily averted his gaze off to the side. 'I don't know. I think that's just who I am and I wish it wasn't as bad.' He paced off and sat down in a chair, glancing at the one besides it. 'I have ways to keep it in check, those too don't always work.'

'You're trying. Maybe it isn't working but you're doing something.' Arodan cautiously came to sit in the chair next to Sachairi and kept to the side away from him. 'But Balam took you in for a reason, didn't he?'

'Maybe.' Sachairi rubbed his side and looked off. 'How do you know that?'

'Carmen and...' He paused then and felt a pang in his heart at the name he was to mention. 'Epoch. They told me who you were.' He gestured small shapes through the air. 'They were very positive about you, that you were their friend despite your flaws. It made me curious about you.'

'I… I see.' Sachairi hummed and he looked upon Arodan with an angry and sad look. 'Did you know Epoch well?'

'Not as well as I wanted to. But well enough I wish he didn't die.' The thought made Arodan shaky and mournful all over again and he knew that feeling had to come some time. Sometimes out of the corners of his eyes and in his dreams he thought he saw him. He knew Carmen somehow resented him for it still, even if it was getting less between them. 'I'm sorry.'

'I'm sorry too.' Sachairi pressed his eyes shut and breathed in with strained breaths. 'You know I… I actually saw him today.'

'You saw him?' Arodan perked up and glanced warily at Sachairi. 'In a dream or something?'

'No, his ghost.' Sachairi snapped, and immediately drew back once he caught on he was being blunt. 'When I woke up this morning and wandered the ship he was sitting on one of the masts and he didn't realize I could see him.'

'You need to slow down there.' Arodan held up a hand and looked up at Sachairi incredulously. 'You can see ghosts?'

'What's your point? You saw Waldemar back in the crypt right?' Sachairi grunted in return. 'Sometimes ghosts are visible. There's so many down in the crypt, you walked past a few when you were there.'

'I- Walked?' Arodan raised his hand higher and his mouth fell open yet he didn't know what to say. Something here didn't add up in his mind but first and foremost? 'I… I don't think I can see ghosts but I guess you can then.'

'Yes, I can.' Then Sachairi thought about it and sank back in his chair. 'That's… That's new actually.' He glanced at Arodan and then stared out in front of him. 'I hadn't thought of it that I couldn't do that before.'

'I don't think it's too odd but that's new information to me too.' Arodan responded. He continued a little quieter. 'You saw Epoch however, did you say anything to him?'

'... I climbed up to the mast and tried to touch his shoulder. I couldn't but for a moment it felt I could draw his attention with that.' Sachairi continued. He pulled one leg up and held on to it pensively. 'He noticed my hand going through him and stared for a while until I said hello.' He stared ahead blankly. 'We spoke… He told me what I had missed, we spoke of silly stuff, that...' He swallowed harshly and looked at Arodan. 'That I had been missed, y'know?'

'I can agree it's a nice feeling.' Arodan smiled and wondered if Atlas and Balam and Carmen would miss him if he left. Sachairi looked at him like he knew the answer. 'They seem glad you're back.'

'And they're glad to have you. Don't forget that.' Sachairi added gruffly. Yet, there was a little smile on his face. 'I think a new face was what they needed, someone like you. Hell, you even saved me.'

'I wouldn't call what I did saving people.' Arodan waved away the compliment, and took a deep breath. He needed to know something. 'Can I ask you a question?'

'Shoot. Just don't ask anything too personal.'

Too bad, in a way he was going to. 'Well… I know you're Shade afflicted, Carmen and Epoch told me that too.' Sachairi flinched a little at that and his expression returned to a scowl. 'And what I mean to ask is when you got your Shade affliction, if it coincides with when you started seeing ghosts.'

'Are you in a roundabout way trying to ask me how this all works?' He gestured at himself, then at Arodan. 'Because I ain't doing that.'

'I'm not asking about that. Okay, maybe I am, but it isn't for some heinous purpose.' Arodan said. 'I want to figure out myself somehow, and not be a danger to people. Despite your affliction and what happened you're doing fine.'

He took deep breaths, and sat upright. 'Kid, I don't...' He gestured at nothing in particular. 'Fine. I started seeing ghosts back when I was still a gladiator in the fighting pits. I could just have gotten whacked over the head a little too hard, that happened often back then.' He rubbed his head as if a phantom pain had decided to manifest then. 'My Shade was this.. "Gift" from another person. The figure you freed me from.'

'Altair?'

'Yeah.' Sachairi nodded and Arodan and him shared an understanding sigh. They were comfy with the knowledge they both hated a foe they didn't know enough about to fight. 'I got that affliction before I was made into a gladiator. I used to travel around then when I was younger, better, and ran into him, took a job for him I didn't end up liking all that much.'

'Let me guess, You told him your mind?' Arodan shot Sachairi a look and Sachairi returned him a similar gaze and nod. 'It's funny, it's become so easy to talk about what happened.'

'At some point it becomes easy to joke, or think more easily about things like that. I used to joke to Carmen about Altair, she and Epoch joked about their parents. We'd have drinks, it was a good time.' Sachairi brushed gently over his necklace and seemed longing. 'Raz was there too then.'

‘Do you know where he is now?’ Arodan asked.

‘I suspect he’s either with his father or fully handed over to Guillaume.’ Sachairi said, his brow deeply furrowing. His form seemed to fade for a moment. ‘And Guillaume is…’ Sachairi stopped and buried his head in his hands. ‘Guillaume is his fiancée. He was promised to him by his father because he bought Raz.’

‘Wait… Fiancée?’ Arodan found the revelation spine chilling at the very least. By the way Sachairi spoke he knew the implications of that relationship. ‘And you two ran off together?’

‘Yeah. He had to, he had to get out of there. Away from people that didn't respect who he was, what he felt. Raz is neither a man or a woman and takes comfort in that. I almost broke out of the fighting pits for him, fought his father and I would do it all over again for him.’ Sachairi bluntly said with raised voice. He quietened himself once he realized he was yelling. ‘I don’t want anything more than to have a normal life and spend that besides him.’

‘He sounds like he means a lot to you.’ Arodan spoke, having backed into his chair due to the earlier outburst. ‘What… What was Raz like to you?’

‘He was… Mischievous. He always wanted to have the last word, and it annoyed the hell out of me. But he was also…’ Sachairi clutched the necklace, Raz’s heart a little tighter to him. ‘Loving. Patient. He always tried to cheer people up, helped me connect to the people of Paramo. He had so many things of his own to deal with and yet he was helping me and others.’ Sachairi’s ears lay flat against the sides of his head and he looked visibly upset. ‘I didn’t save him. I didn’t get to help him.’

‘Sachairi?’

He was shaking, Arodan noted. Before he could reach Sachairi had gotten up and leant against the chair. ‘I… I should go. That conversation ended up becoming kind of a downer, didn't it?' He sucked in a breath and started to back away. 'Would you mind-'

‘Sachairi.’ Arodan held up both of his hands towards Sachairi in nonthreatening fashion. He was shaking a little himself. ‘It’s okay. You don’t seem like a bad person, and it’s nice finally talking to you personally.’

‘I still...’ He dragged a hand down his face. ‘I’ll see you around Dan. Just- Please don’t tell anyone about this or they’ll worry.’

‘I won’t mention it.’ Arodan whispered. A question popped into his mind and he called after Sachairi. ‘Hey. Have you been feeling weird lately?’

‘That’s got nothing to do with this.’ Sachairi snapped, still shaking. ‘And yes. Blackouts and stuff.’ He turned around. ‘It’s probably nothing.’ On that note Sachairi didn’t leave the room normally, but instead disappeared into the floor in a patch of darkness. Yet another piece to unraveling what was going on revealed itself but Arodan had yet to understand what was truly happening.

Truth was, maybe he was sick of wanting to know. Yet, slowly he retrieved Mimir and flipped her open, proceeding to scribble down his findings alongside her own memos as aid to him. In the big web that had formed, he was close to his answer.

[shinichirosbabymama]

Happy Birthday Daddymenrah!

A/N: So today is the birthday of real bad bitch and GOAT @daddymenrah I decided to write her a little something following a hilarious conversation we had over whatsapp. Plus I’ve always been kinda equally horrified and fascinated by the thought of your fave finding your fanfic blog. But here we go, enjoy!!

‘Come on you guys, it’s bed time.’ Jeffrey cooed in a low voice to his chickens as they clucked and squawked as they made their way into their pen. It was dusk on the farm and time for his evening ritual.

Jeffrey made his way inside, stopping first to grab a beer from the fridge before firing up his laptop. It was once again his favourite time of day.

Jeffrey squinted at the keyboard over the top of his glasses as he slowly tapped in tumblr.com into the search engine (after searching for google directly through google chrome).

Once he had accessed the site he went immediately to the Neagan x reader tag - his personal favourite. Hell people really fucking loved this character and how could he blame them? He gave a low chuckle to himself at his own narcissism as the page loaded, his eyes searching anxiously for any new posts.

His heart skipped a beat when he spotted a new one - Professor Neagan. The title alone made the blood rush to his cock as he began to read. The story got hot really fast to the point where Jeffrey almost needed to palm himself out of frustration. This girl knew how to fuck. He could have spent himself on the first read right there but he decided to indulge.

He clicked on the URL - he had no idea what a 'menrah’ was but the daddy element was certainly attractive. He kept the imagine open in a separate tab as he began to scroll through the blog, the site of his own face across numerous gifsets pleasing him greatly. Maybe there’d even be pics of her.

His need continued to increase as his eyes flitted between the blog and the writing until he came across something that made his blood run cold. A man, who looked younger than him, was sprawled across the screen in front of him writhing around in some bed sheets.

'The fuck…’ Jeffrey hissed as he examined the tags daddymenrah had adorned this post with.

'Fuck’

'Daddy’

Each one was like a stab in the chest. Jeffrey cursed himself for allowing to think that just for a moment, he was her daddy and not this skinny little kid – Rami Malek.

What was so fucking special about him anyway? Against his better judgement he continued scrolling only to be met with more pictures, writing and declarations that she wanted to screw him. That was it. Jeffrey opened up her ask box (after taking 2 minutes just to find the damn thing) and typed out a quick message, the sound of his fingertips clattering on the keyboard filling the room.

Are you a Neagan blog or not? I don’t know who this other guy is but I like your Neagan writing the best.

Jeffrey rubbed the facial hair above his lip after he’d hit send. He hoped he hadn’t upset her with his impulsiveness. The thought stayed on this mind until he noticed a reply on the blog an hour later.

Well this is my blog after all if I want to write other characters then I will. Neagan will always be my priority but I’m open to other stuff. If you don’t like it don’t follow.

Jeffrey felt a stab of guilt in his chest – he’d been completely foolish to just message her so suddenly like that. He knew he had to make amends.  Agitated, he began to think.  After a few moments Jeffrey shoved his glasses higher up his nose as he focused on the screen. He knew what he had to do.

Jeffrey’s knowledge of tumblr had been limited to start with. But making his own blog took on a whole new level of technophobia. His paranoia led him to create a whole new email address which took nearly half an hour in itself. For the next six hours he carefully crafted his blog – titling himself Neagan’s bitch as he slowly filled the page with gifs and pictures. His follower count grew but barely.

Late that evening, exhausted by staring at the screen for hours on end, Jeffrey hovered his cursor over daddymenrah’s ask box once again. This time there was anonymity, no hiding. It was time to be Neagan’s Bitch.

Hey so I only just joined this site but can I just say your writing is fucking amazing. You write Neagan so well and so dirty! I think that’s my favourite part haha. Sorry if this is weird.

Jeffrey steepled his fingers until his chin, hoping that his little note was enough to make amends. He relaxed back into the couch, hoping to get out of his mind with some TV and the beer he’d long forgotten about earlier.

Jeffrey jumped awake a few hours later. The glow of the TV filled the dark room and he could feel dampness on his thigh where the last of the beer had spilled from his hand. He shot upright to grab a towel to dry himself with when he noticed tumblr still pulled up on his laptop.

As he approached the screen to shut it down he noticed something had changed. A box had appeared in the corner of the screen and Jeffrey’s heart palpitated with horror when he realised it was daddymenrah.

Thank you for your message. Your cute as hell. More people need to recognise Neagan as the god of fuck that he is. JDM can get it too tbh.

Jeffrey let out a choked sound at the sight of his own name. His hands shook as his fingers danced across the keyboard in swift reply – barely processing what was even happening.

I agree I don’t think enough people recognise Neagan’s sex appeal, I think most just think he’s some old dude lol.

Jeffrey perched on the edge of his seat as he waited for the reply. It came quickly once again.

Old dude? That’s exactly what I find so attractive about him though. He gets better the more he ages.

Well that certainly piqued his interest. Jeffrey ended up staying up most of the night talking to this girl. He felt like a bit of a creep but it was (mostly) innocent and in all honestly she fascinated him. He learnt that she was from the UK (which would explain why she was wide awake and he was dropping off), she was younger than he was (but totally legal! He reminded himself over and over) and totally infatuated with, well, him.

After that night Jeffrey didn’t let his phone out of sight. He constantly waited for her to text him. As soon as his phone screen lit up he snatched it up, searching for any information she was giving him. It was strange honestly – he couldn’t place what had led him obsessing over this girl online but that didn’t seem to stop him. She, on the other hand, was far more aloof. They communicated often and she made him burst out laughing with a deep chuckle often but he knew she probably wasn’t waiting for her phone to ping like he did.

Jeffrey had to constantly balance between revealing too much about himself and going too far in the descriptions of his on-screen characters. Even his vibrant strand narcissism could only go so far. But daddymenrah continued to indulge him without even knowing it.

This went on for a long time. Longer than he thought actually. He knew his girlfriend suspected him but he only grew to resent her. She didn’t talk about him the way daddymenrah did. She didn’t appreciate him. As he and daddymenrah got closer and closer he began to understand that she didn’t just want his body – she really understood him. She’d studied him a lot. And she liked what he saw. He knew her real name but he tried not to call her it for risk of her materialising too much for him.

Eventually he could tell that she was growing suspicious of him. She never got upset about anything but Jeffrey could tell she was kind of pissed that he didn’t share much.

I wish you would tell me more about yourself looool I hate emotional shit but I wish I just knew some stuff.

You do know stuff we talk all the time.

Yeah. About me.

Jeffrey sighed. She wasn’t wrong. But what could he do? If the truth came out she would never speak to him again. And his career would be in ruins. But at the same time he couldn’t bear to throw this away. What a ridiculous thought – a grown ass man getting caught up with a  girl who writes stories about him online. Jeffrey continued to scold himself as he fell asleep that night but he knew that a decision was inevitable.

The day started like any other. Jeffrey and daddymenrah texted first thing in the morning and then sporadically throughout the rest of the day. Jeffrey smiled and swore loudly when he drooled toothpaste all over himself when he was distracted staring at one of the many selfies she sent him reacting to some stupid joke he’d made. Sometimes she pulled the most horrendous faces but they always made him laugh. He loved to see a woman so uninhibited.

That night Jeffrey settled down on the couch of his empty house. He felt sick but he knew it was now or never. He had to make her understand. Hands shaking, he typed out a message.

Do you want to Facetime? I thought it would only be fair.

YES OF COURSE I DOOOO

Okay but first let me just say something.

Aight shoot.

This isn’t a prank or one of those fake videos or whatever. I’m sorry that I’ve been lying to you I just didn’t know what else to do…

Daddymenrah didn’t reply to that and instead the sound of the incoming Facetime call blared out loudly from his phone. Jeffrey swallowed down the bile that had been rising in his throat and answered the call, holding the phone as thought it were a grenade.

The girl he’d been talking to for all these months gazed back inquisitively from the screen and then froze completely still, a frown overtaking her features.

'Surprise doll.’ Was all Jeffrey could muster in a low voice laced with embarrassment.

'This isn’t fucking funny.’ Daddymenrah began to laugh, a high-pitched wild laugh.

'It’s not a joke…’ And then Jeffrey said her name and she stopped, going very quiet.

'WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK WHAT THE FUCK-’

Jeffrey had to hold the phone a good few feet away from him to cope with the noise as it bounced around his whole damn house.

'Please try to calm down. I said I was sorry – I couldn’t just tell you from the start darlin’’

'Shut the fuck up just book me a plane ticket. I’m coming over there right now motherfucker.’

Jeffrey let out a loud laugh. So this is a thing now – he thought.

[whatdoyouexpectthistime]

Her Love In The Zombie Apocalypse: Goodbye Goto

Author’s Note: This is the result of a dream I had, and I am absolutely unapologetic for dropping the Instructors in a zombie ridden Tokyo. Who knows... maybe this won’t just be a oneshot?

Happiness doesn’t last, does it?

In the perfect world, we grow to be strong, learn to believe in ourselves and to have the courage of our convictions, and finally meet someone with whom we can be that person – in both strength and weakness.

When you find that person, don’t let the small, the insignificant things come between you.

Embrace.

Embrace your differences and each other and don’t let go. Fight hard and with everything you’ve got.

Because you never truly know when the dream will end.

Panting and laboured beneath the weight of my backpack, I struggle to keep pace. Kaga and Soma are already pulling aside our barricade at the east end of the academy, while Shinonome and Ishigami stand alert for approaching threats.

At my side – always at my side – Seiji remains in step.

His face is smeared with the horror of his narrow escape, much like the rest of us.

But one of us fell, one of us didn’t really escape at all, the others just don’t know it yet.

Seiji doesn’t know it yet.

“Get the hell in here!” Kaga barks, but his curt urgency is no exaggeration now.

The threat is real, however disbelieving we were at the beginning, the truth has well and truly sunk in.

“Christ,” he huffs as Seiji and I pass him, and he and Soma begin to reassemble the barricade protecting our fortress home. “Could you possibly find a smaller pack?”

“Screw you,” I gasp, stumbling into the foyer and sliding the bag from my aching shoulders.

It hits the floor with a heavy clunk, the cans within part of the bounty we’d retrieved from several convenience stores much further from the academy than we have ever venture since the incident. Those closest to the academy have already been stripped bear, and it was the necessity to eat, and to provide for those who also shelter with us, that prompted a much more dangerous run to distant sources.

Roaring in my ears, my pulse refuses to slow, and Seiji looks me over with worry.

“Are you all right?” he asks quietly, leaning against the wall beside me, peering at me with those gunmetal eyes haunted by deep concern.

“Mm,” I nod, giving him a weary smile.

Anything to ease his troubles.

Anything to lighten this heart I love.

Anything to protect it from breaking.

But I can’t.

“That was intense,” I add, as Ishigami joins us.

“Everyone okay?” he asks, the blandness of his expression a stark contrast to the dangle of gore hanging from the left side of his glasses.

“Yeah,” Seiji confirms, and I nod also.

Liar.

But they take my word for it, this trust is what has kept us alive this long.

There are untold numbers of dead in Tokyo, some permanently, some now roaming, shambling, looking for prey – because it all happened so quickly, and people didn’t know how fast the infection spread, how virulent it was.

We still don’t know how it started. Even law enforcement was woefully unprepared, and communication came too slow, too late.

“Let’s get this stuff to storage,” Seiji prompted, shouldering his pack, before collecting mine.

“I’m not completely useless,” I argue, but I’m playful in my scorn.

Oh how many small things has Seiji done for me? When was the exact moment his selflessness won over my heart? I have no doubt, he would gladly give his life in exchange for mine – but this time, he can’t.

 When twilight drifts, everyone goes to their posts. We check our defences, reinforce each barricade, look for weaknesses and plug them, and check night-watch rosters.

Glancing down the list I note who is meant to be at each guard position. It looks as if I’m just doing my job, but in reality I need to know who is where for a very different reason.

Shivering, I pull my jacket more closely around me, and eventually meet up with Seiji in our room.

Our room.

It was going to be a little house, with a yard big enough for a dog and a small vegetable patch. That was our shared dream.

Now, he is all that I have left of that dream, and…

“You look tired,” he tells me, gently taking my face between broad palms. “You’re cold.”

“It’s a clear night,” I point out, leaning into his touch, trying to memorise the sensation. “It’s freezing out.”

“Well, it was a long day,” he smiles, carefully sliding his fingers into my hair and running them all the way to the tips. “Early night?”

“Gladly,” I exhale, hoping he can’t tell I’m gritting my teeth behind this smile.

He doesn’t know I organised a pack of bare essentials while he was showering, and hid it from sight. He’s treating me like he always has – the centre of his world.

Mouth dry, maybe from the gathering nervousness of what I must do, or maybe… I can’t tell if the jackhammer pounding against the inside of my skull is part of my transition, or the spread of guilt and grief and emotional pain so potent it’s a wonder I can stand, let alone smile like nothing is wrong.

And everything is wrong, because the throb in my forearm, hidden by the long sleeves of my flannel pajamas, is a harbinger of my imminent death, and horrifying resurrection.

And I can’t be here when that happens.

Just the same, I snuggle under the blankets, and as Seiji is reaching over to turn off the lamp, I wrap my uninjured arm around him, and press myself mercilessly against his back.

I want to feel the imprint of his body against mine, my fingers, my hands, I want to remember every taut undulation of his chest, and the steady rhythm of his breath.

“Your hands are still icy,” he grumbles, but hugs my forearm tightly.

And I pray he doesn’t hear my breath catch and stick in my throat, or feel the desperation to withhold a sob in the tension of my muscles.

“You always warm me up,” I whisper, hardly a breath at all, and he gives my hand a squeeze.

Nothing in the world would give me greater peace, than to remain here – but if I stay, even until morning… I might truly destroy him. Instead, I listen to the sounds of him, inhale the scent of him, until he falls asleep.

And then I have to exercise the absolute, utmost of my willpower to separate – softly so as not to wake him, when all I really want is for him to wake suddenly, grab me, pull me down and wrap himself around me.

I am my own person, but I would gladly let him consume me like tht.

Cautiously I cover him back up, but the slight motion of Seiji’s head causes his fringe to flop over his closed eyelids.

So innocent.

And yet so fierce in my defence – and this is why I have to go.

He would make excuses, drag it out, maybe even beg me to stay even while knowing my fate is a foregone conclusion.

Go. GO! You have to go. For his sake.

As quietly as I can, I retrieve my backpack. There is hardly anything in it, because let’s face it, I’m not going to be needing human supplies for much longer.

Then there is the letter.

Saying goodbye, face to face, seeing him break… I can’t. And it’s not arrogance to think he will, because his heart and mine are one and mine…

… is being torn apart.

On the pillow, still fresh with the impression of my head, I leave my final missive to him, and bite down so hard on my lower lip, it bleeds. These feet won’t move but they have to.

Go.

My insides are hollowed out, a gaping, weeping wound very nearly prompting a sob when in my retreat from out room I spy Domo-kun.

It’s so stupid that Domo-kun should symbolise our love somehow, but for some reason that gift to me left a lasting impression. And even in the chaos, he stayed with us as a constant.

“Goodbye Domo-kun,” I whisper, slipping out into the hall and closing the door on all I ever wanted.

BONUS:

 “Cold,” Goto murmured, rolling over and groping across the bed for his favourite source of warmth.

It was not so jarring an awakening, for he didn’t yet know the truth. His wife could be any number of places by far more obvious than having snuck out in the night to meet her grizzly fate.

So he clutched at the blankets and tucked them under his chin, and in doing so disturbed the piece of paper beside him.

Rubbing his eyes with the back of one hand, he plucked the missive from the pillow and unfolded it.

And dread began to form, dread that turn swiftly into a panic without description.

(Author/Narrator’s note: I blame @nitelotus​ for the following recording, after she made fun of me for crying as I wrote this. At least I don’t charge stupid amounts for voiced stories right?)

-Click to LISTEN to her letter-

My dearest Seiji,

We said, till death do us part – but, I’m not sure where undeath fits into that.

I am sorry.

I made a mistake and now… the cost of it must be paid. And this is the one time you can’t save me, no matter how many times I call you name, the enemy now inside me cannot be defeated.

You will be angry that I didn’t tell you, that I didn’t… give you a chance to say goodbye, but leaving like this is the lesser of two terrible evils.

I will turn, it’s inevitable, and I don’t want your last memory of me to be as a monster.

Please remember the brush of my fingertips against your forehead.

Please remember the warmth of my body curled against yours.

Please, remember the passionate heat, and the bliss of our every union.

And let me save you this time – let me stand, even at this distance, between you and having to see me as anything other than the woman you took to be your wife.

That woman will soon be consumed, but until the very end I will fix you in my mind and heart, grip you relentlessly, because you have taught me what it means to be loved so unconditionally, so completely; I will not be afraid.

Loving you, and being loved by you, has been a privilege I’m not sure I ever really deserved, but you have been the absolute, the most precious gift I ever received.

I love you.

Your dearest wife.

 The bed beside him was cold.

When in the night had she left him?

He knew she was gone but could not control his panic. It exploded inside him, could not be contained, and it drove him from their room in his pinstriped pajamas. With abandon he threw himself down the corridor, blind almost but for a target in the distance he had no way of seeing.

Morning greeted him with a slap of winter, but Goto struggled through the haze of his desperate breaths lingering in the air, and staggered like a drunkard to the outer most manned position.

“Did you see her?!” he shouted.

“Lieutenant?” the young man queried, looking very confused.

“My wife!” Goto gasped. “Did you see her? Did she leave this way?”

But the pair stationed there could tell him nothing, nor could any of the other outer guards, and finally, her last words to him clutched in his bloodless fist, he sat, in the dirt, trembling.

Why couldn’t he see her face? Why could he only see the back of her, her retreating figure moving with laboured steps through the undead who paid her no mind?

Losing her was… there were simply no words, but to know she had gone alone with such pain in her heart was a wound to him like no other.

 And all he could do was sit, and stare off into the distance.

[onepieceimagines]

So I'm 22 and have been out for awhile, but I'm sorta in a depressed mood partly because of it and wanted 'support' from the characters of my favorite anime. Could you possibly do one where the reader confesses to the entire Straw-hat crew, and Shanks and Benn that he's gay? I'd like to see their reactions and possibly have them comfort the reader if he's upset about it. It seems you're closed for requests but you posted a couple things, so I thought I'd try asking. I'm sorry to bug if you are.

(You’re not bugging me! I’m sorry its taken a while to get this out. I admire you for being out. I don’t have the courage to come out yet to my family ._. I hope this helps you fell a little less lonely at least! I used ‘you’ for the story since I think that will help best)

Monkey D. Luffy: He had been looking for you for a while now. A pout formed on his lips as he couldn’t find you anywhere. He liked hanging out with you the most since you always were free to play games with him or just hang out with him. The last place he had to look in was the aquarium. He peaked in through the window on the door and grinned as he saw your form. He didn’t notice the zoned out expression you had on your face nor how you were curled up.in the seat. You almost jumped out of your seat as he slammed the door open.

“(Y/N)! I’ve been looking for you!” He bounded over to you and threw his arms around you, his head tilted to the side. “What’s up? You’ve been kind of gloomy lately.” You could only smile faintly at the curiosity in his voice. 

“I… I should really tell you something, Luffy. Mind sitting down?” He blinked and sat down with his legs crossed on top of the seat, facing you. 

“Sounds serious.” You let out a breathless chuckle and scratched the back of your head.

“Kind of…” You sighed at how his eyes were looking at him wide-eyed. “Luffy… I’m gay.” Silence filled the room and you were too nervous to look at him.

“Uh, (Y/N)? What does that mean?” He muttered hesitantly. You glanced at him and gulped, already feeling your confidence fading.

“It means… I’m not attracted to women and I’ll fall in love with a man one day.” The rubber man blinked and his mouth turned to a small ‘o’ as it clicked. You watched his expression and cracked a small smile as you could literally see the cogs turn in his head. 

“So… Kind of like the opposite of Sanji?”

“Please don’t compare me to Sanji.”

“Okay so like a little bit of Sanji?”

“If it’ll help you process this, then yes.” He grinned at you but it soon fell as a question raised up from the depths of his head.

“So, why do you look so upset?” You clasped your hands in front of you and fiddled with your thumbs.

“A lot of people don’t find it acceptable. I couldn’t help but be nervous when I was telling you.” He blinked and his cheeks puffed out.

“That’s dumb. You love who you love.” He raised his fist up. “And if anyone says anything to you, you got me and everyone else to back you up.” He grinned again. “So, don’t worry about it anymore. I’ve got your back. Always.” You felt a smile lift your lips and a sting behind your eyes. You gently bumped your fist against his, relief hitting your body like a wave.

Roronoa Zoro: You watched as he slumped down on the floor and prepared to take a nap. You stepped over him to sit on the couch. After countless spats in the past, you let him sleep wherever he wanted. He was the most comfortable in his own space anyway. His arms were resting behind his head and he had his eyes closed. You looked at him from where you were sitting and sighed.

“Hey.” He hummed in response, not even flinching. “I have to tell you something.”

“Go ahead then.” He mumbled.

“… I’m gay.” He opened his eye to look at you and closed it a while after some silence.

“Thanks for telling me.” You blinked, surprised. Your best friend wasn’t really great with words but you expected more of a big reaction from the swordsman.

“That’s it?” He opened his eye again and raised an eyebrow.

“What do you mean?”

“You aren’t going to act shocked or ask a bunch of questions?” He shrugged and put his arms down.

“Well, I do mean it when I say I’m grateful for you telling me. It’s your thing to tell so I’ll keep my mouth shut about it.” You grinned and crossed your legs on the seat.

“You’re such a softie on the inside.” He rolled his eyes and went back to his resting position.

“Shut up, will ya?” After a moment of silence, you couldn’t help but voice the question that’s been nagging at you.

“So… It really doesn’t bother you?” He sighed softly and looked at you again, raising an eyebrow.

“Why would it bother me? It’s your life. Who you find attractive is your choice.”

“It bothers a lot of people…” He glared at you and reached over to flick your forehead.

“You care too much about what other people think. Who cares? It’s your life and you’re gonna find someone to like or love or whatever.” He closed his eye and grumbled. “Let me sleep now.” You smiled slightly and nodded.

“Right. Sorry.” You laid down against the seat, thinking that a nap would be a good idea for now. As you were drifting off, you heard his voice grunt.

“(Y/N).”

“Hmm?”

“If someone says something to you, let me know. I’ll beat their ass.” He grumbled, making you smile sleepily. 

“Overprotective softie.” He grunted again before snores filled the room from him. You curled up against the seat and dozed off yourself.

Nami: You sat next to the orange haired girl as she tended to the tangerines. The two of you finally found a calm day within the crew to step away and look over the tangerine trees. You were gripping the bottom of your shirt tightly as you glanced in her direction. ‘She’ll accept me… She will… Right?’ You kept thinking as your heart raced against your chest.

“Nami?” She looked at you and smiled.

“What is it, (Y/N)?” She asked, brushing her hands off of any dirt and leaves.

“I… Okay… What if a close friend of yours told you that… that they were gay?” You cursed at yourself for not just letting the words come out but your courage left as quickly as the words left your mouth. She stayed quiet for a bit, thinking before smiling and sliding closer to you.

“Then, I’d give them a hug and let them know that I still love them. They’re my precious friend and that won’t change.” You felt your eyes stinging, urging the tears to not flow.

“So… It wouldn’t bother you if this friend was gay?” She giggled softly and hugged your arm gently.

“Nope. They love who they love. I have no say in that. I’m here to support them.” She smiled up at you. “They’re still my precious friend and I’d feel honored that they trust me enough to tell me something so important.” Your tears finally showed themselves but you hugged her tightly to hide them from showing. 

“Even if other people hate it?” Your voice came out muffled against her shirt. Her eyebrows furrowed before her expression saddened. 

“If anyone dared to hurt for something you can’t control, I won’t accept it. I’ll always back you up.” She cleared her throat before stroking your hair back. “I mean your friend.” You could barely contain the tears that you felt from the overwhelming support you got from her.

“… Your friend really is grateful to have you as their friend.” She giggled and hugged back, patting your back.

“Just know, (Y/N). You don’t ever have to be afraid to tell me anything. I mean it when I say that I’ll be there to support you.” You sniffled and rubbed at your eyes, looking at her.

“Nami… I’m gay.” She smiled at you, giggling as she helped you to wipe your tears away.

“Thank you for telling me. I will always support you.” You let out a breathless chuckle and hugged her again.

Usopp: You don’t know how the phrase left your lips but you just knew that the silence between you was tense and you didn’t want that. You hung around Usopp a lot since he didn’t mind your presence and he also liked that you complimented his work once he was done with it. You don’t really know how the phrase left your lips but it put a halt to your conversation.

“Uh… That’s not the way I wanted to tell you…” You mumbled, gripping the sides of your head in frustration. Usopp looked at you with wide eyes.

“You’re gay?” You peaked at him and nodded slowly.

“Yeah…” You saw how a smile bloomed on his face and he put his hand on your shoulder. 

“What are you worrying about? That’s great news, right?” You blinked, taken aback by his reaction.

“You’re not… Freaking out about it?” He raised an eyebrow, already packing his tools and chemicals away. Once he was done with that, he looked over at you. 

“Freak out? Why would I?” He plopped down in front of you and tilted his head.

“I don’t know… Some people are uncomfortable with this kind of stuff…” He shook his head and placed his hand on your shoulder.

“Listen. You’re still the person that I wanted to be friends with. You’ve discovered something about yourself but that doesn’t change who you are. If you love guys, it doesn’t make me stop wanting to be friends with you.” He grinned and got up. “So that’s why this is something we should celebrate! Let’s get the others too! They’ll definitely want to party about this too.” He said as he stood up, holding his hands out to help you up.

You put your hands in both of his and pushed yourself up with his help. You caught him by surprise when you moved your hands to wrap around him in a hug.

“(Y/N)?” When you didn’t respond, he hugged back just as tightly as you held him and patted your back. “You were really stressed about this, huh?” You sniffled, your voice muffled from the fabric of his shirt.

“I didn’t want you to hate me….” He let out a soft huff, gently ruffling your shoulder.

“You’re my friend. Through thick and thin.” You smiled and raised your hand to rub at your eyes, nodding.

Sanji: You literally thought you broke him. His cigarette was hanging loosely between his fingers and his visible eye was wide as he stared at you. You checked the time and saw that he’s been quiet for about a minute and a half. You reached forward and snapped your fingers in front of his face. He snapped out of it and blinked a couple of times.

“Wait, you’re-”

“Gay. Yeah. I’m gay.” You could see that the wheels were turning in his head.

“So, you like-”

“Men. Yes.”

“Not women?”

“Not romantically or sexually.” He stayed quiet for a bit again and took a drag of his cigarette. You raised an eyebrow, waiting for his response.

“Are you going to be okay with this information?” He nodded a little, pushing the plate of small sandwiches in front of you that he just finished making before you had entered the kitchen and leaned back.

“I’m perfectly fine with it. That means I won’t have to keep an eye out on you when you’re around Robin-chwan and Nami-swan.” You let a breathless chuckle, your tense body finally relaxing as you could tell that he was half-serious.

“I thought you’d be the least understanding.” You quickly shook your hands. “No offense! Your love for women is so strong! I didn’t know how you would react!” He pouted slightly but it disappeared once he realized that you were right.

“Makes sense.” He rested his elbows on the table and looked at you in the eye. “(Y/N). I love women.” You felt a sweat drop forming on your forehead.

“Yeah, we all know that.” He nodded before gesturing to you.

“You love men. I know that now so just as you let me be, I’ll let you be. I have no say in what you do but just know that as long as we’re friends, I’ll support you.” Your smile made a smile lift his lips up too and you nodded.

“Thanks, Sanji.” 

Tony Tony Chopper: The cute expression on his made you feel ridiculous that the little reindeer would judge you. He blinked his big eyes and tilted his head.

“Gay?” You nodded.

“Yeah… It’s seen as ‘normal’ for a man to love a woman but for me and a lot of people, we like the same gender.” He held his cheeks in his hooves and puffed his cheeks out.

“So you’re gay? So that means that you like men?” You nodded.

“You got it.” You smiled slightly. “It’s pretty serious for me. Your reaction is pretty positive but there have been people I’ve told who have reacted badly…” Chopper crossed his arms and closed his eyes as he tried to make sense of it in his head.

“Hmm, that’s ignorant. I remember the reindeers I was around back on Drum Island looked for a female mate but it was rare when it was two males.” He looked at you and smiled. “But love is love, right? If you love someone, it doesn’t matter what others say! It’s between you and the person you love! Regardless of gender!” His grin made you sweep him up and hug him tightly. He was flustered at the sudden show of affection but smiled happily at you.

“It doesn’t bother you?” He shook his head.

“Of course not! You’re my friend and I still love you!” He grinned at you. “So if anyone says something to you, I’ll back you up!” He thought for a bit and his grin became sheepish. “Or get Luffy and Zoro to come help.” You laughed and gave him a final squeeze before putting him back down.

“Thanks, Chopper. I won’t hide something from you again.” He smiled at you and held up his hoof, making you smile and bumping your fist against his hoof.

“Thanks for trusting me with something so important!”

Nico Robin: She peaked over her book to look at you as you entered the library where she had planted herself in for the night. She smiled at you and patted the spot next to her while moving the blanket away from her so you could sit next to her. You smiled slightly and sat next to her, getting under the blanket as well. It was almost as if she was expecting you since she had a second cup of tea ready on the table. She was skimming her eyes on the page but she could tell that you were nervous from how you rested your head against her shoulder.

“What’s on your mind?” She asked as she flipped a page.

“… i wanted to tell you…” You took a breath. “I’m… I’m gay.” The silence that followed made your eyes turn to look at her. She had a soft smile on her face as her eyes skimmed the page. 

“That’s amazing, (Y/N). I’m happy that you told me.” 

“It doesn’t bother you? Or surprise you?” She closed her book and looked at you, smiling gently. 

“I had an inkling that you were but it wasn’t my place to assume.” She tilted her head slightly. “Why would it bother me?” You shrugged slightly and took a breath through your nose.

“I don’t know… People’s views get in the way of friendships sometimes.” She shook her head and smoothed her fingers through your hair.

“(Y/N). I know a thing or two about being judged. I would never do that to you. I’ll be here to support you. Always.” She smiled as she pushed the tea saucer closer to you. You wrapped your hands around the cup and smiled softly. Robin would be the most understanding from her past. You took a sip of the tea and put it down.

“Thanks for not hating me, Robin.” She giggled gently before opening her book again. 

“I should say the same to you.” You both rested in silence, you enjoying your tea and Robin enjoying her book. She broke it with a teasing tone behind her question. “So, anyone on the ship catch your eye?” You felt your cheeks heat up and rolled your eyes playfully.

“Already teasing me?” She giggled and nodded.

“What? You wanted tonight to be serious?” You smiled at her sly smile and poked her cheek.

“Go back to reading.” She giggled and nodded, looking back at her book as you continued to relax on her shoulder.

Cyborg Franky: You had to cover your ears from how loud and excitedly he yelled.

“(Y/N)! That’s awesome! It’s SUPER!!” He was grinning at you as you slowly lowered your hands. You smiled, his enthusiasm was contagious.

“Really?”

“Of course! It’s an honor knowing that you trust me so much to tell me something so personal!” You smiled but it soon fell as your insecurities came back up your throat and out in a flurry of words. 

“But won’t you be uncomfortable if I have a boyfriend around here eventually?” He blinked and shook his head.

“Why should I be? It’s your life, right? I would never be uncomfortable if you’re happy and have someone to love.” He grinned at you. “By the way, have you found someone that’s caught your eye?” You blushed lightly and shook your head quickly, making him let out a chuckle. 

“Franky, thanks for not pushing me away. I really do appreciate it.” He placed his much bigger hand on your shoulder and looked at you seriously in the eyes.

“(Y/N), you are my friend, more like family. I would never abandon you. None of us on this ship will.” He moved his hand to your hair and gently ruffled, smiling. “No one is going to say something rude or mean to you while I’m around. I’ll protect you and so will the rest of the crew.” You smiled, reaching up and patting his hand with yours, your head moving a little at the movement you caused.

“I couldn’t ask for a better friend if I tried.” You grinned up at him as he laughed.

“That’s good to know. You can trust me with anything from now on.” He smiled and patted your head. “Let’s go get some cola.” You chuckled and nodded.

“I’ll give you my share.” As the two of you made your way to the kitchen, you looked up at the cyborg. “By the way, Franky... Could you please keep this between us for now?” He gave you a thumbs up and grinned.

“You got it. But when you do tell everyone and you need back up, you got me.” The tension in your shoulders relaxed and you laughed again, this one much more relieved.

Dead Bones Brook: He was humming along to the tune of his violin as he was writing another song when you walked in. He smiled at you before playing the last string and putting the violin down. 

“What brings you here, (Y/N)-san?” You smiled slightly as you stepped over to sit down at the seat, putting a tea saucer down. 

“I brought you some tea.” He smiled and stepped over to take a seat next to you. 

“Thank you so much, (Y/N)-san.” He took a gulp of the tea before turning to face you. He tilted his head slightly as you bit your lip, looking lost in thought. “The tea isn’t the only reason you came here, is it?” You took a breath and shook your head.

“No... I came here to tell you something that’s pretty important.” He laid the tea cup down and gave you his full attention. He stayed still until you decided to speak up. Taking a deep breath, you opened your eyes back up. “I’m... I’m gay.” He smiled at you as he picked his tea cup back up and took a sip.

“That’s great. You didn’t have to be nervous to tell me.” You smiled slightly.

“I know that you wouldn’t react badly but there was still that fear.” You closed your eyes, releasing another shaky breath. “You’re a precious friend of mine and if you reacted badly... I wouldn’t know what to do.” You confessed, curling up into a small ball. Bony fingers stroked through your hair as he smiled.

“I support you, (Y/N)-san, and I’m grateful that you told me. It’s something to be proud of! You’ve accepted a part of yourself and now you can be honest with yourself as well.” He reached over and grabbed his violin. “Thank you again for trusting in me.” You opened your eyes to look at him and smiled.

“You accepted me for who I am. That’s all I’ve ever wanted from you and the rest of the crew.” He did a soft version of his laugh and he positioned his violin 

“It’s the least I could do. You accepted me for who I am as well.” You smiled as he started playing again. You leaned back and closed your eyes, your head swaying a little to the music. 

Red Hair Shanks: You wanted to let him know this part of you but there was that small chance that he would freak out and react negatively to your news. After a night of partying, the rest of the crew was passed out across the ship, hungover and in a deep sleep. You were laying on the deck next to your captain, looking up at the stars. He would doze off any second now so you wanted to let this itching thought out as fast as you can.

“Captain...” Shanks looked at you and smiled, he had sobered up long while ago but the drowsiness was finally getting him. 

“What’s up, (Y/N)?” He saw the serious look from just your profile and raised an eyebrow. “Hmm?”

“What if... What if I told you that I was... gay?...” He didn’t look away from your profile.

“... Then we would celebrate this.” You looked at him with wide eyes.

“What?” He smiled at you.

“Yeah. What? Did you think I would kick you out of the crew or something?” You shook your head slowly, still in amazement.

“O-Of course not but... You’re taking this surprisingly well...” He chuckled and nodded, looking back up at the sky. 

“Our crew is very diverse. I don’t judge those for something they can’t control.” He looked at you and smiled. “Just like everyone on the ship, I still respect you and am grateful that you’re trusting me with something so important to you.” He reached over and patted your head. You smiled, feeling relief go through your body.

“I was afraid you’d freak out.” He pouted slightly, glancing at you. 

“Hey, I can be serious sometimes.” He stretched his arm above him and let out a yawn. “Let’s get some rest, alright?” He grinned at you, more sleepily than before. “We can throw another party to celebrate.” You chuckled and rolled your eyes, looking back up at the stars.

“I think you’ve had enough talk about parties today.” You murmured, hearing the snores already coming up from next to you.

Benn Beckman: He was a bit surprised when you wanted to talk to him in private but he tried to find some time from his first mate duties to talk with you. Finally sitting together, he waited patiently for you to start talking.

“There’s something important I wanted to tell you.” You murmured, throwing him off. Usually, when someone in the crew wanted to rely their secrets on someone, it would be the captain. He guessed that it was his stoic expression most of the time that scared people off. He nodded a bit, focusing back on you.

“What is it?” You took a deep breath, a bit nervous at how you were going to confess a big part of yourself to the first mate.

“You’re the first one I’m telling this to but... I’m gay...” Your voice quieting down towards the end. Even though your voice was quieter than a whisper, he still caught it. He silently looked at you, unsure of what to say. After a while, he noticed the flustered expression on your face. He realized how much courage it took for you to say this to him. A small smile lifted his lips and he patted your head gently. You looked up at him, surprised a bit at his sudden actions.

“You’re very courageous to let me know this about you. It’s an honor to know that you rely on me enough to share something so personal.”

“You’re taking this really well...” He nodded.

“It’s not my place to judge you nor do I want to. You will love who you love and you’ve got the crew and I to support you from now on.” He gently patted your head.

“You really think so?” He nodded and a genuine smile filled his face.

“Yes I do. So thank you so much for relying on me again.” He murmured before hearing his name being called. He sighed softly and patted your shoulder. “I gotta go now but if you need someone to talk to or to support you, come find me. We have your back through everything.” He smiled at you one last time before leaving the room. You took a deep breath and slouched down in your seat, unable to believe how easy that was and how understanding he actually was.

(I’m sorry if these aren’t that well written. Half-way through they got repetitive it seems ._.)

[kgysj-blog]

day 2 - 4/26/17

dear depression, wassupppp biotch you still havent gotten me yet ayyeeeee *quickly knocks on wood* anyways imma talk ab my day/issues!!!!!!! so i woke up & wore this dress bc i didn't feel like wearing pants ya feel me ? well i made it to school in 4 minutes bc ya girl attempted eyeliner this morning AND IT DIDNT SUCK TERRIBLY WOO!!! oh yus. anyway i felt pretty today :') i got to first period (English) •total side note but the song that just came on is 'how would u feel' by ed sheeran and i absolutely fucking adore it man• and when we i got there i expected us to finish wuthering heights which i also absolutely adore. instead we had to do two worksheets front and back and it lowkey kinda sucked :/ but it's ok I finished them!! also it was sent around that the teachers met this morning to decide which day will be the last day for seniors to show up which makes me feel lit as fuck like let's fuckin go FUCKKKKKK white plains HAHAHAH :)))) then i got to second period (math) and coach ford wasn't here today so she left us a worksheet to do that had 36 equation problems & don't get me wrong, that shit easy af, it just takes time to write it all out fr. well im in a class where everyone likes to talk other than the guy that sits beside me (connor w. my mf nigga). well i start this worksheet w one headphone in & these inconsiderate fuckers who aren't even doing their work START TALKING LOUDLY and it nearly made it impossible to finish this long ass worksheet so I put my other head phone in and crank the music up as loud as possible. well it's be about 5 minutes and connor has done the same thing w the headphones, and these rude humans throw a pencil at us bc my music was too loud. MY music was too loud. well GUESS WHAT?! if you'd stfu i wouldn't even have to play music :-)) anyway i finished that bitch in ab 10 minutes then I took a good ass nap till break. after the bell rang I was walking to drop my back pack off in coach crews classroom and doddie and nugget pull me in a classroom & doddie has ranted ab this guy (not gonna name names) making fun of her and making sly comments ab her being gay!!!!!! it lit me tf up. but it was gucci she rented it all out and posted it on her spam & i ab died. then i went to break & saw my buddies and then went to third (anatomy). Me & brettford finished up our poster which looked good af & turned it in. then I saw dots spam post & ab died hahahahah I commented "can I tag him" then "I'll tag him" then "he's a little bitch" bc he is!!!! the girls doddie pulls are like gorgeous & his ex gf was not that pretty :/ I don't wanna be mean and say bad things ab other girls but :/// then we went to fourth period (economics) and Matthews hit me w some more of her bullshit. she stays mad at me fr solely bc of the table I sit at bUT GUESS WHAT! those are my mf niggas and imma sit w them bc this is the last time I'll frickin be able to bc #senioryearbitches but onward w the entry, we had to do this question thing on liz murray (refer to precious entry on who that is) and then we got to do our handprints on the wall bc #senioryearbitches. me and brettford did our hands together Bc he's my bestie and I love him!!!!! then i left and went to the store (gas station-stewards) to get pizza and when I got there, there was no mf pizza -_- I was mad af. the lady said it would take 12 minutes to cook another & it was already 11:53 and the bus gets there at mf 12:05 to pick us up so I had to tell her I had to go :/ so I went back to school and then to career tech & all was gucci. I fell asleep during class bc idk I get exhausted in moms class it's crazy Idek why. but then i got on the bus and i realized i had a text from the human im not supposed to be talking to :/ it said hi. so I said hi. Then he had screenshotted doddies spam post and said it better have not been ab him and he's dumb bc it wasn't -_- we talked ab it all for a while and then I told him not to worry & he said alright & I said okie and he didn't reply aha but I had to text him what dot said bc he had asked me to text her earlier so i did and sent it to him. then this mf replied like two hours later and sent me a beer pong game thing and we played for a while (i whooped that ass three times in a row) anndddd he stopped replying again. but i guess i needa get used to that bc im not supposed to be talking to him anyway. we decided Sunday we were gonna stay out of each other's life's until I was better & we have literally spoken every single day since then lmaooooo but it's okay. I got in my feels heavvvvyyyy ab him during moms class which is why I went to sleep I guess. Idk I just miss him n stuff.. it's okay tho no sadness!! I went home and sat and talked w dad for a little bit and it was nice I luv my dad. after I showered and all that I was chillin in bed listening to music & Dad brought me fresh flowers to my room :/ I had told him Sunday I love fresh flowers & then monday on our way to bham for my javelin lesson i told him a little bit about my depression stuff & told him about why I can't talk to Peyton right now and all that and I think it made him sad a little. :( but he is the sweetest most of the time and it made my heart super happy!!! but anyways that's all for today :-) it's 11:54 so imma hit the hay, goodnight!!!! love, g