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angelic-holland · 5 years

Text

Harry Dean // fratboy!th x reader college au

Summary: You’re tutoring Tom and he invites you to watch his band perform. You reluctantly agree. Interested to see where this goes.

warnings: nsfw, smut

You’re halfway through the calculus homework when Tom groans, laying his head down on your kitchen table.

“What?” You sigh, rolling your eyes.

“Don’t wanna do this anymore,” he groans.

“You have like three problems left, come on, I don’t wanna be here either, I have other work I could be doing.”

“Well, damn Y/N if you don’t wanna be here you can go.”

“No I can’t, first off this is my apartment, and I’m getting paid to tutor you and students like you so let’s move this along.”

He lifts his head back up, resting his chin against his hand and looking at you with puppy dog eyes.

“What do you mean students like me? Stupid students?”

“You’re not stupid, you just don’t apply yourself.”

“That’s what smart people say about stupid people.”

“Well if you think you’re stupid there’s no changing that but I think if you just put a little more effort into your school work instead of other things then-,”

He cuts you off, his foot reaching out to tap yours, “what other things sweetheart?”

“You know what other things, partying, your frat, literally anything but schoolwork.”

“Yeah but college is when you’re supposed to have fun, you gotta relax every once in a while.”

You push his foot away from yours and stand up, “you can have fun but college is literally where you’re supposed to get a degree. Your parents send you here to get a degree in beer pong?”

You move to grab a glass from your cabinet and hear him stand up, the chair scraping against the ground.

“No, they sent me here to get a degree in business so I can eventually take over their company, the beer pong degree is just for fun.”

He’s right behind you now and you don’t dare turn, knowing he’ll be right there.

“Well you need to pass calculus and that’s what I’m here to help you with.”

“You know sweetheart, it’s Friday, what are your plans for the night?”

“Was just gonna, finish-,” you falter as his hands rest on either side of you against the counter, boxing you in.

“What was that?”

“Finish my homework, maybe put together my study guide for the calc exam.”

“That’s in two and a half weeks, why the hurry?”

“I, I don’t know,” you can feel his breath on your neck and you shake your head, clearing any dirty thoughts from your mind, moving his hand and side stepping out of his way, opening your fridge.

“My band’s got a gig tonight, you should come,” he says, sauntering over to you. You fill your cup with water, sitting back down at the table.

“I don’t know, that’s not really my thing,” you shrug as he sits back down.

“Come on sweetheart, gotta have some fun, why don’t you think about it? Not until 10 anyways.”

“Fine,” you say, hoping your response will shut him up so you can finish the homework you had planned to do.

****

“So it’s at Radio Bean, just tell ‘em you’re with me and they’ll wave the entrance fee, I’ll put you down as my plus one.”

“Tom, I don’t even know if I’ll go, I said I’d think about it.”

“Come on sweetheart, you’re always so fuckin uptight, let’s cut loose, just this once, just tonight, for me,” he says, his eyes pleading with you.

You didn’t understand what his deal was, he was flirty with you since you started tutoring him, but he never made an actual move until now, if you could call it that.

“Fine but if you’re music sucks I’m leaving.”

“Oh sweetheart, don’t you worry,” he says with a shit-eating grin before leaving you in your kitchen.

You decide to take a shower to cool down, you weren’t going to lie his words did things to you, the way he called you sweetheart today had you practically dripping. He always gave you little nicknames but today you were already on edge, horny and you haven’t had sex in months.

You end up coming on your fingers with a small moan of his name while the water washes over you. You blush at the thought of him seeing you like this and quickly shake the idea from your head, shaving your legs and washing your hair.

You had set out a few different outfits on your bed and you groaned, you wanted to look hot, you didn’t know if anything would actually happen tonight but you wanted to be prepared if it did.

You had one dress, it was a blue floral wrap dress that went down to your ankles and you shook your head, that wouldn’t work. You had a short black leather skater skirt that your sister bought you and you’ve literally never worn, you paired it with a dark red bralette that matched a lipstick shade you had from ages ago. You set about getting your hair dry and doing your makeup before slipping into the outfit and damn if you didn’t look good. You usually wore jeans and a tshirt so this was way out of your comfort zone, you just hoped it paid off.

You finished up your homework and got started on that study guide despite Tom making fun of you for it. It was better to be ahead of the game and besides, your scholarship depended on you getting good grades.

By the time you had finished it was around 9:30 which gave you enough time to walk to Radio Bean, you’ve been there before on dates, it was a coffee shop during the day, bar and music venue at night. You’d never actually heard of Tom’s band before, you looked it up from his Facebook, it was called “H.D.” and they mostly did covers of rock songs, lots of Led Zeppelin which you knew was Tom’s favorite band. He was the guitarist, sometimes sang, sometimes didn’t, but he always had fun on stage.

When you got there there was a small line to get in and you gave the person at the door your name, they checked the list, each person in the band had a certain number of free spots and they let you in. You looked around, wondering if anyone you knew was there. You couldn’t find anyone but it made sense, your friends were in the math club and the education majors, their parties consisted of cards against humanity and mikes hard lemonade in a dorm room. You got a soda, you wanted to be sober for his set.

You were relaxing at a stool near the back of the bar, the stage and the band’s equipment set up and waiting for them. You checked your phone, 9:55, they should be out any minute.

When the room erupted in cheers you looked up and saw Tom and his band mates walk on stage, he was wearing a black leather jacket, similar to the one you wore tonight and a tight white T-shirt, loose fitting black jeans adorning his legs. And honestly, he looked fucking great.

You stood up from your stool, moving with the crowd towards the stage, you didn’t get too close, watching Tom’s eyes scan the crowd.

“How’s everyone doing tonight?” The main singer asked and the crowd cheered. You didn’t notice Tom had found you until the lead singer elbowed him, “Alright mate, I said you ready to go?”

Tom’s eyes were boring into your own, or more accurately staring at your chest, you had taken off your leather jacket and slung it over an arm, your bralette on full display.

He laughed at his friend, taking off his own jacket and picking up his guitar, “let’s do this.”

His eyes never wavered from yours as they started their first song, the familiar tune of “Thank You” by Led Zeppelin starting out on Tom’s guitar. It was a slower, more down to earth song and you swayed to the music. Closing your eyes and letting yourself get lost. They went straight into their next song, a cover of Green Day’s “American Idiot” and the crowd lost it, everyone was jumping up and down and you followed along, watching Tom watch you.

The next song was a bit slower and you moved your hips to the music, letting yourself get lost in the sound of the lead singer’s voice and Tom’s guitar. It wasn’t until you felt someone’s hands on your hips and body pressed against yours that threw you off your rhythm.

You quickly moved forward as much as the tight crowd would allow you, turning towards the source of the hands. A guy, probably a college student, grinning creepily at you, probably drunk, moved to pull you towards him again when you side stepped around him.

“Dude fuck off I don’t wanna dance with you,” you say, rolling your eyes at the sleazeball.

“Fuck you,” he grumbles, pushing through the crowd. You hear the guitar falter and pause before quickly picking back up again. You turn to face the band and see Tom’s trying his best to hide a scowl, it’s the same scowl he gets when you tell him one of his answers is wrong and he needs to work on the question again. You smile up at him, unsure if that interaction was the reason behind his frown but wanted to reassure him you’re fine.

They play some more songs, Tom’s voice surprising you in a few of them where he sang. An hour or so later they thanked Radio Bean for giving them the space and introduced the next band, another college group. You watched as Tom and his bandmates slipped out to a side room and you wandered back over to the bar, settling yourself on a stool.

“Y/N, are you okay? I tried to tell security about that guy in the crowd but they said they couldn’t find him, the description I gave was shit but-,” Tom said as he stood next to you.

“I’m fine, told the guy to fuck off, it’s whatever.”

“You sure?” He asks, his eyes searching yours for any sign of discomfort or anger over the situation.

“It’s nice of you to worry but I can handle myself.”

“I don’t doubt that Y/N.”

“Good,” he says, holding his hand out. You hesitantly take it, letting him move you through the crowd.

“Didn’t know you had all that under those dorky shirts of yours,” he said, pulling you down a dark corridor.

“Oh yeah? Did you often think about what was under my shirts?” You joked but he bit his lip, blatantly staring at your tits and the way they bounced as you moved along the hallway.

“Only every day of my life sweetheart,” he says coming to a stop at a door.

“Where are we?”

“Performers only lounge, wanna join me?”

“Sure,” you say as he pushes the door open. It was a small space with a leather couch, a table, some chairs and a mini fridge.

“You know, when I saw you tonight, I nearly lost my mind, kept getting distracted.”

“I noticed,” you said as he leaned against the table.

“Subtlety isn’t my strong suit,” he shrugs, pulling you by the waist into him.

“Really? Cause that’s the vibe you’ve been giving off for the past few months.”

“I just, well you’re my tutor, and you’re a nerd, no offense, I didn’t wanna come off too strong and scare you off,” he says, his hands running up and down your sides.

“And what about now?”

“What about it?” He asks, his lips dangerously close to yours.

You couldn’t stand it, crashing your lips against his, your arms wrapping around his neck. You let him pull you flush against him, your hips slotted with his own. You felt his cock hard against you beneath his pants, they were so tight they left almost nothing to the imagination. One hand rested on your hip, the other hesitantly moved to your ass over your skirt. You grinded down against him, feeling your pussy soak through your panties.

“Fuck sweetheart,” he moans as you trail kisses down his neck sucking on a few points, causing him to slap your ass, “if I’d known you’d look like this I’d have invited you to a show ages ago.”

“Felt like bein’ a rebel,” you whisper in his ear and he groans.

“Can I touch you?”

“You already are?” You say, pulling off his neck and looking at him. Tom was red in the face, his hands playing with the edge of your skirt.

“Wanna touch all of you sweetheart.”

“Fuck, does this door lock?” You ask and he nods as you move to lock it, he’s behind you again, pushing you against the now locked door.

His hand grips your ass, the other moving between you and the door to play with your tits. You’re practically dripping as you grind your ass back against his hand.

“You want something sweetheart?”

“Touch me, Tom, please,” you whine, feeling blush creep up your cheeks.

You can practically hear his smirk as his hand tugs down your skirt and spins you around. You kick off the skirt and he kisses you as you try to pull off his jeans. He helps before pulling away to tug off his shirt.

“Fuck sweetheart you look so good like this, could just tug your panties to the side and fuck you right here.”

“Why don’t you?”

He groans, his hands pulling down his underwear and tugging at his cock a few times as you pulled the bralette over your head.

He leans down and grabs his wallet pulling out a condom and tossing the wallet back to the side.

“Look at you, all prepared,” you say, your hand reaching out hesitantly for his cock.

“Go ahead sweetheart,” he says opening the condom and handing it to you.

You roll it onto his cock and jerk it a few times. It looked how you imagined it, long, a little thick, perfect.

His hands had wandered to your tits, fingers pinching your nipples, hard from the cold air and how horny you were.

“You gonna fuck me now or?” You ask and he grins, pushing your hand off him, gripping the backs of your thighs.

“Jump,” he whispers in your ear and you do, wrapping your legs around his waist and arms around his neck. The feeling of his cock against your panty covered cunt making you whimper as he pushes you back against the door, one hand supporting you under your thigh, the other tugging your panties to the side.

“Fuck sweetheart, you’re dripping, this all for me?”

You nod as his thumb swipes through some of your juices, “been, fuck been thinking about you all night Tom.”

“What a coincidence, I’ve been thinking about having your pretty thighs wrapped around me all night,” he says, his thumb now in front of your lips. You suck it down like you would his cock, groaning around it as you taste yourself.

“Fuck sweetheart you look so good like that, wonder if that’s how you’d like sucking my cock.”

You moan around his thumb as he pushes into you, letting you get adjusted to his cock for a moment before fucking into you.

He pulls his thumb out of your mouth, his eyes watching your tits as you bounce on his cock, his fingers digging into your thigh.

“Fuck, Tom, feels so good,” you moan, crying out as he hits your sweet spot.

“Shhh, sweetheart, don’t want anyone to hear us, don’t want to get caught and have to stop do you?”

“No, Tom, don’t wanna stop, fuck,” you groan, your head leaning against the door, your hands gripping his shoulders.

“Feel so good around me sweetheart, love how wet you are already.”

“Oh fuck!” You cry out as his thumb rubs your clit.

“Shhh, what did I say about being quiet sweetheart?” He grins, his fingers resting on your lips, “I can keep you quiet don’t worry.”

You took the not so subtle hint and opened your mouth, letting Tom push three fingers into it. You put your focus on sucking them like you would a cock, tongue swirling around what you could as he picked up his pace, pounding into you. His fingers fucked into your mouth at the same pace, spit dripping out of your mouth when he pushed a little too far, causing you to gag around them.

“Fuck you look so hot like this sweetheart, choking on my fingers while your cunt takes my cock so well,” he groans, as one of your hands move to your clit, rubbing circles around it.

“You wanna come? You’re so wet sweetheart, think you’re going to come soon? Come all over my cock?”

You moan around his fingers, making as much noise as you could. You felt yourself get closer as his cock nudged against your sweet spot over and over again, your thumb making quick work on your clit. His lips work down your chest, leaving marks as he moved down, his lips wrapping around your nipples, looking up at you as you gagged around his fingers, pussy clenching around his cock. His teeth grazed your nipple and tugged it, which was all you needed to get pushed over the edge, crying around his fingers as you come.

The feeling of you pulsing around him and the view of your spit dripping down your chin onto your tits was enough to make Tom come with a groan of your name against your neck.

“Fuck,” he mutters, pulling his fingers out of your mouth, you suck and lap at them, trying to clean your spit off before he trails his hand down your chest, rolling your nipple between his fingers.

“That was-,”

“Fucking fantastic,” Tom says as he pulls out of you and your legs drop to the floor, shaking slightly.

“Why didn’t you fuck me sooner?”

“Didn’t know you wanted me to fuck you sooner sweetheart.”

“Then I guess I’m the idiot.”

“Nah that’s still my title sweetheart don’t worry.”

“Tom? You in there?” Someone shouts, jiggling the door handle.

“Fuck,” he says as you two pull apart from each other and scramble to put clothes on.

When you’re both dressed he unlocks the door and his band mate barges in, the lead singer, you think his name was Harrison.

“Oh fuck, sorry was I interrupting something?” He says taking in the state of you two.

“Nah you’re good,” you say, kissing Tom’s cheek, “call me?”

You wink behind Harrison’s back and watch Tom fumble for words, Harrison making fun of the lipstick stains on his neck as you leave.

#tom holland #tom holland smut #tom holland one shot #tom holland imagine #tom holland blurb #first time writing smut #please send me suggestions on how to improve

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butcanijustnot · 5 years

Text

Dating T’Challa would include:

Tagging @idontgiveaflyinggrayson69

(If you have a character you want to see written, or you want to be tagged, PM me and I’ll add it/you to the list.)

You met at the Wakandan outreach centre’s opening night as an American journalist covering the event.

Everything there was so nice, pristine and pure and proper. Diplomats from across the world were crowded in the large ballroom, wearing fine clothes and expensive jewellery, drinking expensive wine and laughing politely at one another. It was very hoity-toity, and very not you.

You were a total fish out of the water. You were a total misfit. You were, well, a reporter, and judging by the harsh glares the diplomats were giving you, they knew it.

You had given up on trying to talk to anyone a long time ago, and left annoying the king’s guard, wakandan security teams and anyone else who looked vaguely important to the other reporters. Instead, you snuck down a corridor and found yourself in the museum area of the Outreach Centre. It was empty, and part of you knew you probably shouldn’t be there, but it was so beautiful and you couldn’t bring yourself to tear away and go back to that loud room full of stuck-up people.

Glass cases lined every wall displaying Wakandan artefacts. You loved all of it, becoming more entranced by the second. In fact, at one point, you completely blocked out everything around you and just walked the room, reading and rereading every tablet, every piece of information. It startled you, and it excited you.

This was new and amazing and incredible. You blocked out the outside world so much that you didn't hear voice calling out your name until someone placed a hand on your shoulder. Instantly, you snapped back into reality, pulling away and shrieking like a banshee. It was not a particularly lady-like sound. You turned to face your attacker, ready to throw a mediocre-at-best punch or swear up a god-damn storm, and found the beautiful chocolate brown eyes of the king of Wakanda himself staring back at you.

OH SHIT.

You quickly tried to regain your composure. "Your majesty, I'm so sorry. I know I’m not supposed to be here. I just..." You mumbled, looking down at the ground, embarrassment evident in the blush on your your cheeks. "I'll leave..." You said, moving to his left. He softly grabbed your arm, stopping you.

"Don't be absurd, it was my fault. I shouldn't have snuck up on you like that. Didn't you hear my approach? I called your name." He paused. "You are Y/N, correct?" He asked.

Holy shit, he knows your name. The king of Wakanda knows your name. for a moment, you hated yourself for taking up precious brain space in his gorgeous mind.

Wait, what?

You shook your head, trying to gather yourself and not appear like a total idiot. "Yes, I'm Y/N." You said, holding out your hand for him to shake. You got a pleasant surprise when he raised it to his lips and kissed the back sweetly. You could feel your cheeks reddening and butterflies taking flight in your stomach.

"Thank you." You said, subconsciously rubbing the back of your hand with your thumb where he had kissed. You looked around nervously at the empty room, which seemed much smaller now he was here. “If you don’t mind me asking, how do you know my name?“

“I memorised the list of journalists we invited, in case we have a issue with any of them.” His face darkened for a second and your mind flashed back to the reporters flocking around his sister like pigeons, asking her a thousand stupid questions, and her overwhelmed and slightly scared expression.

“I’m sorry about that... About them. This is a special occasion and a beautiful gala, and you shouldn’t have to put up with them.“ You said, following his distant gaze.

”Speaking of which, you don’t seem to be enjoying yourself? What brought you here?" He asked, walking around a glass case of tribal masks.

"I'm an international reporter- or, at least, I'm trying to be- My paper keeps trying to clip my wings, making me do those stupid little buzzword Facebook articles with no real journalism, just pandering to an aisle for click-bait." You groan sadly, thinking about your seemingly dead-in-the-water-career.

T'Challa spoke thirty different languages, and yet somehow he only understood half of the words in that sentence.

"So I gotta make this article good, you know? Not that that will be difficult, this place is amazing!" your entire tone shifted as you fangirled relentlessly. "I mean, look at this!" you said, gesturing to the cabinets with a childish sense of awe and wonder. You pointed to your favourite things, asking questions and rambling facts about African life that you knew like an overactive toddler. You couldn't help yourself. You were so interested in this stuff.

He smiled. You were making an absolute idiot of yourself but damned if you weren't also absolutely adorable.

You were there for about half an hour, just talking about your respective lives. He told you about Wakanda and the lives of his people and you told him all about America and the way thinks happened here. Eventually one of his guards came in and guided him back to the gala, but before he left he gave you a number on a napkin.

“If you’d like, you can interview me one-on-one sometime. You know, for your article.”

“Yes, I love that.“ You paused, pursing your lips into a subtle smirk. “Do you give this opportunity to all the journalists you invite to events?“

He chuckled and shook his head. “No, this is just for you. You're special.” He said, throwing a subtle wink at you that made your heart leap up into your mouth. Then his guard whisked him away and he was gone, and you were left alone in that museum.

One date turned into two dates and then five and then ten and then, in the blink of an eye, before you could even properly process it, you were dating the king of Wakanda.

He works a lot, and obviously lives in Wakanda while your career keeps you solidly in America, so Skype dates are a big thing in your relationship.

At the start of your relationship, he wasn’t that into public displays of affection, and you’re both able to keep your relationship secret for a few months before word slips out and you two make the decision to go public.

Once you’re revealed as T’Challa’s partner, your career did a MASSIVE 360 and skyrocketed upwards. Every magazine, newspaper and TV show wanted a piece of you, or rather a piece of T’Challa they though that they could get through you.

You’re far too smart for that though, and you never give it to them.

After your relationship went public, he became slightly more affectionate, holding your hand as you two walked and pressing kisses to your hairline when he knows there’s a camera watching.

He keeps the photos every time.

He takes you to fancy events whenever he’s in America, charity galas or state dinners, and when he does he shows a side to him that you very rarely see. The possessive side.

He keeps one arm around your waist practically the whole time you’re there. He looks at you like you’re made up of stars, so beautiful that he couldn’t look away.

This bastard has NO CLUE the value of money. He’s INSANELY rich and he’s been catered too by a horde of people basically his entire life, so he has an understandable distance from the value of currency. So naturally, he showers you with affection economically.

These aren’t small gifts either. For your two month anniversary, he sent you traditional Wakandan jewellery laced with vibranium and precious stones. For your six month anniversary, he bought you a solid gold rose worth more than your car. For your birthday, he paid off the mortgage debt on your apartment.

And for your one year anniversary, he took you to Wakanda.

Wakanda is the most beautiful place you have ever had the honour of seeing. You loved the forests and the rivers, and the clothing and the beautiful foods. You wanted to explore every inch of this beautiful plain.

Standing on his balcony, overlooking the bustling heart of Wakanda, you turned to him, smirking. “Do you give this opportunity to all the journalists that come your way?”

T’Challa chuckled, threading his arms around your shoulders to pull you close to his chest. “No, this is just for you. You're special.“

The Wakandan people aren’t quick to trust you. Shuri and Ramonda are kind to you but you get the sense that they don’t trust you just yet. You understand. You’re not from around here, and you know they need time and you need to prove yourself worthy of there trust.

The Dora are similar but they honestly scare you a little bit. You know that they are kind women and they don’t mean to be so intimidating towards you but there weaponry knowledge and cold demeanours makes it hard.

You know you’re not universally accepted, but you don’t really mind.

You are so unbelievably in love with him, and he loves you right back.

#T'Challa #T'Challa x reader #black panther #black panther x reader #Avengers #avengers fandom #avengers x reader #black panther fanfiction #black panther fanfic #Avengers x you #Avengers x Y/N

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arysafics · 5 years

Text

Think of the Children

Summary: RAs Clarke and Bellamy host a sex education lesson, which turns out to be a lot more than that.

prompt: Bellamy and Clarke are RAs and their residents keep coming to them with all these sex questions that initially start off innocent like about contraception but become more about how to please their partners and stuff (they see bellarke as mom and dad so they want all the advise)! Bellamy and Clarke decide that the best way to help is to show them so they host a “workshop” where they pretty much just have sex with each other in front of their residents to “teach” them how to have fun safe consentías sex

Rated E, ~3,700 words

Clarke barges into Bellamy’s dorm room, as she frequently does these days. He never keeps his door locked anymore. Thankfully, he’s fully clothed, sitting at his desk, frowning at his computer screen. He doesn’t even look up as she collapses on his unmade bed.

“You need something?” he asks.

“Maya just asked me if I would go and buy condoms for her. She’s too nervous to do it herself.”

“What did you say?”

“I told her where she could get free ones. That’s not the point though.”

Bellamy spins around in his chair to face her. “So what is the point?”

“The kids keep asking me sex questions.” The kids, not actually kids at all, but a bunch of eighteen and nineteen-year-olds that live in the dorms, whom Clarke and Bellamy have been charged with looking out for, as the dorm RAs.

“You can palm the sex questions off to me if it makes you uncomfortable,” Bellamy says. “Although I’m guessing the girls feel more comfortable coming to you.”

“Yeah, no offence, but if I were an eighteen-year-old virgin, my hot RA would not be the person I would go to for sex advice.”

“Hot RA, huh?” Bellamy smirks.

“Don’t get cocky,” Clarke rolls her eyes. She sits up and folds her legs under herself. “Anyway, it’s not that I feel uncomfortable. It’s just I get asked those kinds of questions more than anything else. We’re responsible for thirty-something eighteen-year-olds and I swear I’ve been asked the same questions that many times.”

Bellamy leans back in his chair. “Yeah, I gotta admit, I get asked a lot of sex questions too. Although I feel like it’s a lot less about contraception and more about how to get a woman to have sex with you.”

“So maybe we should just get all the kids together and just answer all the questions at once. Like a sex education workshop or something. We know high school sex ed sucks, it could be helpful. I know a lot because my mom’s a doctor, and you—well…”

“Have a lot of sex?”

Clarke shrugs. “You said it, not me.”

Bellamy grins. “A sex ed workshop, huh? It could be fun.”

“Fun is not what I was thinking.”

“If it’s not fun, they won’t want to come.”

“Well, you figure out how to make it fun, and then we’ll set a date and time. We’ll do it in the common room and we can use the whiteboard for like… diagrams and stuff.”

“You’re in charge of diagrams.”

“Obviously.”

“So, uh…” Bellamy says, scratching the back of his neck. “Is that the only reason you came here, or…”

Clarke flushes. She knows what he’s asking. A few weeks ago, while she was drunk in his room, she may have let slip that she likes to be watched while she gets off. Which then turned into her pulling off her panties and masturbating in front of him. And she may have done it a couple more times since then, without the assistance of alcohol.

“I don’t have a vibrator with me.”

“You can use your fingers. Like the first time.”

Clarke bites her lip. Just thinking about it has her loins throbbing. She brings a hand to the button on her jeans, pausing before she pops it open. She keeps her eyes locked on Bellamy. He’s watching her hand with baited breath.

Clarke slides her hand into her panties, and she’s surprised at how wet she is already. She runs her middle finger up and down her slit a couple of times, knowing Bellamy is on the edge of his seat, waiting for her to take her pants off and show him what she’s doing.

“Are you wet?” he asks hoarsely. Impatient. Clarke nods. “You gonna show me?” Clarke nods again. She’s about the pull her jeans off, when someone knocks on the door.

“Shit,” she says, hastily doing her jeans back up.

Disappointment crosses Bellamy’s face. He clears his throat. “Come in,” he calls. The door opens, and Jasper Jordan walks in.

“Hey, Bellamy—” he starts, then stops when he sees Clarke on Bellamy’s bed. “Oh, sorry. Am I interrupting?”

Clarke shakes her head. She hopes her face isn’t as red as it feels. “No. I was just leaving.” She gets up off the bed and heads past Jasper to the door. She looks back at Bellamy. “Think about what we can do to make it fun,” she tells him, and then she leaves him to deal with whatever Jasper’s problem is.

-----

About half of the people living in their residence hall show up to what Clarke advertised as a Sex Information Night. Bellamy wanted to call it Sex for Dummies, but Clarke vetoed that suggestion.

They’d posted a notice on the community board, as well as in the Facebook group Clarke had created at the start of the year, that read:

SEX

Information Night!

If you have any burning questions, queries or things you need clarifying to do with the topic of sex, whether it’s about contraception, consent, pleasure, or anything else, come to our information night.

Featuring advice, explanations, demonstrations, and most importantly, free food.

This Thursday night at 6pm in the common room.

Your devoted RAs, Clarke and Bellamy.

The free food was Bellamy’s best attempt at making it sound interesting, but what college student doesn’t love free food?

The group gathered in front of them is what Clarke assumes are the less experienced people living in the dorm. They’re squashed onto two worn old couches, chatting amongst themselves while they wait for Clarke to start the session.

Clarke is pretty sure she can tell which of them are there for the food and which of them actually want advice. Some of them are probably just there to watch Clarke embarrass herself. It’s one thing to give sex advice one on one to someone who asks, but giving an actual presentation to a group of people is kind of daunting. She’s glad she has Bellamy helping her.

He lets her take the lead, while he sits on the table behind her, in front of the whiteboard.

“Okay,” Clarke says, addressing the group. “Thanks for coming guys. What we’re going to do is answer some of the questions you guys have been asking a lot, and then we’ll let you ask whatever other questions you want to. This is a safe space, and I expect you all to be respectful of each other. No question is a stupid question.” She looks to Bellamy. “Anything to add?”

“I think you covered it.”

Clarke nods, then turns back to her audience, before launching into her presentation. She goes through all the different types of contraception she can think of, and tells them where they can get said contraception. She’s pretty sure all of them should know the female and male anatomy by now, but she draws diagrams on the whiteboard, just in case. She talks about consent, and a little about pleasure, and making sure your partner is having a good time too. Bellamy chimes in occasionally, backing her up.

“Okay,” she says when she’s finished, clapping her hands together. “Any questions?”

Jasper’s hand shoots up. “Do I have to go down on a girl if she asks me to?”

Bellamy snorts out a laugh. “You don’t have to, but you may want to rethink your stance on giving head. It’s actually pretty great.”

Oh, so he likes giving head, Clarke notes. Good to know.

Fox puts her hand up next. “I have a question, but no one laugh.”

“No one’s going to laugh,” Clarke promises her.

“I wanted to buy, um, you know. A vibrator. But I don’t know what I’m doing. I don’t want to spend a ton of money on something that isn’t even any good.”

“Reading the reviews can help,” Clarke says. “And maybe start with something smaller and cheaper to see how you like it, and then progress from there.”

“What do you use?” Fox asks.

Clarke glances and Bellamy, who appears to be holding back laughter. She’s trying not to blush, because she did sign up for this, and she knows she shouldn’t be embarrassed about masturbating, or the number of vibrators she owns. She wasn’t really expecting things to get so personal.

“I have a few different ones,” Clarke says. “Maybe we can have a look online together later, and I can help you. And anyone else who wants to know.”

Fox seems satisfied with this, and Clarke moves on. “Any one else?”

“When are you giving the demonstration?” Murphy yells, sitting on a chair at the back of the room.

“Demonstration?” Clarke frowns.

“I mean, that’s why we’re all here, right? So you guys can show us how best to please our partners.”

“I’m not following,” Clarke says, shaking her head. She’s already given all the demonstrations she planned. Like the putting a condom on a banana.

“Yeah, to be honest that’s why I came,” Sterling says, beside him, Monroe nods. “I thought you guys were gonna… you know. Show us. That’s what the post seemed to imply.”

“Show you what, exactly?” Clarke asks. She looks to Bellamy, and he shrugs.

“Bellamy seems to think he’s pretty hot at giving head. Maybe he could show us that.”

Bellamy lets out a strangled choking noise. Clarke doesn’t think she’s ever seen him so flustered.

“Ah, no,” he says. “You guys misunderstood.”

Clarke is feeling a little flustered herself, though for probably slightly different reasons. Why is it that that very mention of Bellamy fucking her in front of everyone sent a surge of wetness between her legs? She’s throbbing there now, thinking about it. But they can’t actually do it. That would be crazy.

“Come on, guys,” Jasper complains. “We know you’re good at it. We just want to learn.”

Bellamy huffs. “Clarke and I have never even had sex. You think we’re gonna do it for the first time in front of you guys?”

“Wait, what?” Murphy snorts. “You guys aren’t fucking?”

Everyone else seems to be just as surprised as Murphy at this revelation. For some reason, the fact that they all thought she and Bellamy were sleeping together embarrasses Clarke more than the notion of him fucking her in front of them. It’s not logical, but then, when has her libido ever been logical?

“But she’s like… always in your room. With the door shut,” Maya says.

“We’re not, and nor are we going to,” Bellamy says. “Right, Clarke?”

He finally looks at her. Clarke chews her lip. His eyes widen.

“Right,” she agrees, but she knows she doesn’t sound convincing at all. She’s aware that all eyes are on her. She’s aware of her racing heart and the steadily growing ache between her thighs. She’s also aware that these kids look up to her, that they look to her for guidance and counsel. But isn’t that just more reason to do it? So they know what real sex looks like, instead of getting their ideas of what sex should be like from porn? So they know what enthusiastic consent looks like? Provided, of course, Bellamy actually wants to do it.

He’s watching her curiously. “Clarke,” he says, in that deep voice that makes her stomach lurch. “Can I talk to you for a second?”

She nods, and Bellamy leads her out of the common room and into the hallway, where the others can’t hear. A couple of people whistle as they leave.

“You want to do this,” he says, as soon as they’re out of earshot.

“I—” Clarke starts, her face heating up. She shrugs. “It’s for the kids. We should set a good example of what sex should be like.”

Bellamy eyes her with amusement. “That’s the only reason?”

Clarke purses her lips at him. “You know it’s not.”

“You want me to fuck you in front of everyone, under the guise of teaching?”

Clarke nods. “Yes,” she whispers. “But only if you want to. Don’t do it just because I want to.”

Bellamy steps closer to her, millimetres from touching her. “Oh, I want to,” he murmurs. He leans in, ghosts his lips against hers. Her lips part, and then he kisses her, firm but gentle. He pulls away. “Just wanted that for myself first.”

Clarke nods. “Bellamy—” she says. She swallows. “I wouldn’t do this with anyone else, just so you know. Just you.”

Bellamy smiles. “Good to know. Come on. Let’s show them how to fuck.”

Clarke laughs, and Bellamy takes her hand and leads her back into the common room.

“Ground rules,” Bellamy announces, walking back in front of the whiteboard, still holding Clarke’s hand. “No video and no photos. Phones remain away at all times. And no commentary. If you feel uncomfortable, leave. Nothing that happens from here on out leaves this room, got it?”

“And no masturbating please,” Clarke adds. “You can do that later in your room. No one wants to see that.”

Bellamy snorts. He gives her a look that says you’re one to talk. Excitement ripples through the room, and Clarke knows the kids are whispering, talking, maybe even to her, but she can’t seem to latch onto any word she recognises. Her eyes are focused on Bellamy, and his on her.

“Clear a couch,” Bellamy says. The five people squashed onto one of the couches scramble up, and Bellamy leads Clarke towards it. God knows how many other people have fucked on this couch, but right now Clarke couldn’t care less. “First lesson,” Bellamy says, and he’s addressing the room, but his eyes never leave Clarke. “Consent. If you’re not sure what your partner wants, ask.”

“Asking isn’t sexy though,” Roma pipes up.

Bellamy ignores her. Instead he shows her just how sexy asking can be. “Clarke,” he says, tracing circles on the back of her hand with his thumb. “Can I kiss you?”

Clarke nods. “Yes.”

It’s harder than their first kiss, deeper, hungrier. Clarke kisses him back, and his tongue slips past her lips and into her mouth. He pulls away, then grazes her ear with his lips. “I want to go down on you,” he tells her.

“Okay,” Clarke agrees in a breath. She lowers herself to the couch, unbuttoning her jeans as she goes, keeping her eyes on Bellamy the whole time. He sinks to his knees in front of her. He pulls her shoes off, and then her socks, and then he helps her tugs her jeans down, so she’s sitting on the couch in her panties.

Bellamy kisses her inner thigh, and Clarke closes her eyes. She knows everyone is watching her, loves knowing they’re all staring at Bellamy as he kisses his way up her thigh. But she doesn’t actually want to see them.

Her heart is thumping hard against her rib cage, and when she feels his lips press against the wet spot on her panties, she feels like it’s going to burst out of her chest. His tongue darts out of his mouth, pushing into her slit through her panties, putting pressure on her clit. Clarke spreads her legs wider.

Bellamy’s mouth leaves her cunt, and she immediately misses the contact.

“Are you ready to take your panties off, baby?” Bellamy asks her. “Everybody wants to see.”

Clarke nods, squeezing her eyes shut tighter. Bellamy hooks his fingers into the sides of her panties, and Clarke lifts her ass off the couch so he can drag them down, baring her pussy to the room. She’s blushing all over, thinking about them all staring at her wet cunt, on display for everyone to see.

“Look at that,” Bellamy coos. “Look how wet she is.” She feels him spread her pussy lips with his big fingers. “You gotta make sure your girl is nice and wet before you fuck her, okay? Eating her out is a good way to get her there.”

He puts his mouth on her again, and Clarke feels a surge of relief, replaced quickly by an urgency, a desperation, as his tongue slips between her folds, working her clit, then backing off, then back to her clit, slowly driving her insane.

“Bellamy,” Clarke whimpers, not caring how pathetic she sounds in front of the kids. “Please, I need to come.”

Bellamy lifts his head, and Clarke opens her eyes to look down at him. “Take your top off,” he tells her. Clarke pulls her t-shirt over her head without hesitation. “And bra.”

Clarke fumbles with the clasp, her hands shaking. Bellamy reaches around her and helps her unclip it, and then she’s completely naked. She burns all over. She finally makes herself look at the crowd surrounding her. They’re all watching her, enraptured, eyes wide. Do they know how much she likes their attention? Or do they still believe it’s all for their benefit? They’re never going to look at her the same again. Every time they look at her they’ll see her naked and writhing on this couch.

She closes her eyes again as Bellamy’s mouth latches onto her neck. His fingers slip between her legs, gently massaging her clit, winding her tighter and tighter, until she’s about to break. Her breathing grows laboured, and she’s panting audibly, so close to orgasm she feels like she’s about to die. God, they’re all going to watch her come. The thought sends her over the edge, and she arches off the couch, gasping, her breasts pushing against Bellamy’s chest, his fingers still playing with her pussy.

“Yes, Bellamy,” Clarke moans. “Fuck me now, please.”

She opens her eyes again, just as Bellamy stands up, towering over her. He pulls his shirt over his head and kicks his shoes off.

“Someone hand me a condom,” he says. They’d handed out enough of them earlier. Clarke watches his hands as he unbuttons his jeans. She doesn’t think she’s ever seen somebody look as sexy as he does as he slowly takes off his clothes. His underwear is last to go, and then he’s as naked as she is. She eyes his hard cock, cunt throbbing at the sight of it, at the thought of having all these people watch him put it inside her.

“Damn,” someone mutters. Bellamy smirks, and Clarke bites back a laugh.

A condom appears in his hand, and he tears the wrapper, then rolls the condom onto his cock.

“Lube is usually a good idea,” Bellamy says. “But in this case, she really doesn’t need it.” Clarke flushes at that. He’s just bragging about how wet he got her. “Lie back, baby,” Bellamy whispers, putting a knee on the couch. “Let’s show these kids how it’s done, huh?”

He kisses her, and Clarke lowers herself into a horizontal position on the couch, pulling him with her.

“Ready?” he asks her, pressing his cock against her slit, getting himself wet with her arousal.

“Yes,” Clarke says. His cock stretches her wide as he pushes into her, and she lets out an embarrassing moan, if she could be embarrassed by anything right now.

“That’s it,” Bellamy says soothingly. “Good girl.”

Clarke feels her pussy clench around him. He thrusts into her, working up a steady rhythm, while she meets his every thrust, already well on her way to her second orgasm.

“Come on, baby,” Bellamy whispers. “I need you to come again. Everybody’s watching.”

The reminder sends her hurtling closer to her peak, his thick cock driving into her with force. “I’m close,” she says. “Keep going. Like that.”

She moans obscenely, and with a few more strokes of his cock, he tears her orgasm from her, the walls of her pussy fluttering around him, her body shuddering. Bellamy lets out a groan as he comes too, seconds after she does. He presses his forehead against hers, panting.

It takes them both more than a few seconds to come back to reality. The reality of fifteen or so college students applauding them, after having just witnessed them have sex with each other for the first time.

“That was amazing,” Roma breathes.

“Yeah, I think I learnt a lot,” Sterling agrees.

“Will you show us how to give a blow job now Clarke?” Fox asks. Never mind that both Clarke and Bellamy are still breathing heavily, red faced, his cock still inside her. He covers her body with his, keeping her nudity from the room, as if they haven’t seen it all already.

“Maybe some other time,” Clarke swallows. “The info night is over. You should all go back to your rooms now.”

Bellamy stays on top of her until the crowd disperses and they’re left alone in the common room. He sits up, sitting on the edge of the couch.

“That was… something,” he says.

“Are you okay?”

“Are you?”

“Yeah,” Clarke says, a smile creeping over her face. She trails her finger across his bare thigh. “I liked it a lot.”

Bellamy shakes his head, amused. “You’re really something, you know that?”

“What something?”

“I don’t know. Unique. Intense. I’ve never met anyone like you.”

Clarke’s smile drops, and she swallows, her heart pounding. That she wasn’t expecting. “In a good way?”

“In a good way,” Bellamy confirms. He stands up, removing the condom and throwing it in the trash, before picking up his clothes and getting dressed.

“So when can we do it again?”

Bellamy raises an eyebrow. “Have sex in front of an audience?”

“We don’t have to have an audience.”

“You think you can enjoy it without the audience?” Bellamy laughs.

“Maybe we can make a tape instead,” Clarke grins. Bellamy shakes his head. Fully dressed now, he stoops to pick up Clarke’s panties and throws them at her.

“Get dressed,” he says. “And then when can talk about it. You’re too distracting when you’re naked. Plus, who knows what is on that couch.”

Clarke sits up, then pulls her panties on. “Do you think any of them will tell anyone what we did? We could get in trouble.” She picks up her bra and puts that back on too.

Bellamy shrugs. “If they tell, we’ll just say it was for educational purposes.”

“It was.”

“Uh huh. You keep telling yourself that.”

#bellarke #bellarke fanfiction #the 100 #the 100 fanfiction #mine

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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735

Hola, hablas espanol? Un poco. Haha most of my Spanish is based off of context clues from similar words and phrases that we have in Filipino, and the very basic lessons I’ve gotten from Duolingo if that even counts, so I most likely would not survive a conversation. Overall though, I can read Spanish much more quickly and better than I can listen to/speak it. Music is playing right now, isn't it? What song? No but for some reason I have the OST of one of the Mario Kart 8 tracks playing in my head. Do you use AIM? What's your screen name? No, I didn’t really catch that era anymore. How many cell phones have you gone through in your life? I had two of the classic Nokia phones, a flip phone, a hand-me-down from my dad, two iPhone 5S, and my current iPhone 8 so that makes it a total of seven. Do you have a little sister? What's her name? Yeah. We’ve always called her Nina at home but for some reason she chose to go with her full first name in school and everywhere else, so it’s always a source of confusion when her friends and I are in the same room and we call her different names hahaha.

Who was the last person you screamed at? Why were you screaming? I think my mom? I was filming my dad doing one of the Tiktok dances (yep, my parents are into Tiktok lmaooooo) but my mom blocked the camera at some point so I jokingly yelled at her to go away. Can you crack your joints? Which ones? Just my fingers, which is all I ever feel like cracking anyway. What's your favorite name for a guy? And a girl? I repeat my fave girls’ names too much on this damn site, y’all know at least one of them by now. I don’t really think of boys’ names but I suppose my current favorite is Miguel. Are you good at answering trick questions? I don’t really encounter them a lot so I wouldn’t know. Do you use Myspace or Facebook? Or both? I don’t use Myspace/was never addicted to it the way I am to like Twitter now. I do use Facebook for various reasons – to stay connected to family, to be updated with announcements from school, to communicate for work, and to share memes hahahaha. Do you need spellcheck in order to spell things correctly? Not really. Sometimes I’ll Google a word before typing it out to be 100% sure but it’s only usually for words that are commonly misspelled, like ‘occasionally.’ Do you do too many surveys? How many have you done today? I don’t know if taking them daily counts as taking them too much but to be fair I only take one to three surveys a day. I definitely take much fewer surveys than I did, like, seven years ago when I would fill out ten a day. Have you ever changed yourself to impress someone? Who? I remember trying to like bands like The Summer Set, You Me At Six, The Maine, We Came As Romans, This Century, etc in Grade 6 because all the cooler, hipster kids liked them. UGH thinking about how I acted during that period is so cringe because I never even liked any of the fucking music but I tried so hard to, lmao. There were only three bands I ended up genuinely enjoying: All Time Low, Sleeping With Sirens, and We Are the In Crowd. After that I stopped paying attention to what people liked. Who was the last person you gave up on? Why did you give up on them? I think it was Macy. She has changed a lot and it’s obvious we are not as close as before and when we do talk it’s mostly awkward small talk. I don’t know what happened along the way, but I just hope she’s happy. What was the last thing you printed? Is there even ink in your printer? I usually have stuff printed in school because with my dad not being home most of the time, my mom and brother never printing anything, and my sister living in a dorm, it doesn’t seem worth it to keep buying ink just for me. The last thing I printed was a news article I needed to turn in for business writing class. What's your favorite number? Is there any reason that's your favorite? 4. I honestly liked it initially because it’s Beyoncé’s favorite number so I just stuck with that answer for the longest time haha. What kind of shampoo do you use? Does it smell amazing? It’s one of the Dove shampoos. It’s nothing life-changing but seeing as it’s a hair care product, it of course smells nice and decent. Do you go to concerts? What was the last one you attended? Not a lot. I save my attendance for my absolute favorites which means that so far I’ve been to two Paramore shows and one One Direction show. I make sure they’re bigger, more mainstream acts that don’t happen in the Philippines a lot because it’s my dad who pays, and I wanna make sure what I’m asking him to treat me to is gonna be a super super worth it experience, if that makes sense. Have you ever had a conversation with someone through bulletins? I don’t think so. Do you shop online? With your own credit card, or someone else's? I have food delivered from online but I barely buy other stuff online. I use cash on delivery since I don’t own any kind of card. Who's your best friend? How long have you known each other? I’ve known Angela for 15 years and Gab for 9. Who was your first boyfriend/girlfriend? Why did you break up? She freaked out and thought we were rushing too much at 17, which she was right about. Have you ever gotten your nails done? Or do you get them done regularly? Never but Gabie keeps telling me that we should have a nail day hahahaha. Idk, I’ve never been comfortable with the idea of someone working on my fingers or toes or any part of my body. Have you been outside yet today? What were you doing? Sure. I stepped out into our backyard to walk my dog for a few minutes in the afternoon; in the evening my family and I had dinner on our rooftop which is technically a part of outside. Tell me about the last thing that made you laugh until it hurt. It was one of the more recent segments from a Korean reality show I watch. It’s not gonna be funny if I narrate it lmao but suffice it to say it’s a show about kids and their dads, and the kid that I watched in particular is exceptionally smart for his age and says a lot of witty things. One of the things he said was bullseye for me and I ended up nearly screaming in laughter at 3 AM. When was the last time you got a new bed? Is your bed comfy? 2008. We never changed my bed from when we first moved here. Yes, I’d say it is. What kind of games did you play on the playground when you were younger? I loved playing at the sandbox because I found the texture really fun to touch and play with; I also liked the swing and the trapeze bars.

Have you ever buried a time capsule with a friend? Did you dig it up yet? Nope. I find them very interesting though. Tell me one thing you'd like to change in 2010. There's gotta be something. That was a whole-ass decade ago, holy shit. I don’t remember what I sought for 2010 back in 2009 but I imagine one of them is for me to find a friend to be with because it was in 2010 that two of my closest friends, Andi and Angel, both migrated to New Zealand and Canada. Spoiler alert: I didn’t, and I was sad the entire year. Do you have or want any tattoos? Of what? Yes. The only design I can think of right now is my dog’s pawprint. Do you remember the first time you ever drove a car? Who were you with? Yeah, it was in my parents’ old Mitsubishi Lancer. I was with my mom and I drove too close to curbs/walls the entire time haha. Do any of your friends drink excess amounts of alcohol? Do you? JM drank a lot at the start of the quarantine to the point that I started to get worried, but I think he’s lessened his intake in the last few weeks. Other than him I don’t know anyone with a drinking problem. I certainly don’t have one. What color is your favorite hoodie? When did you get it? Hoodies aren’t really my thing so I don’t have a favorite one. How many pairs of shoes do you have? Are they under your bed? Around 10-15 would be a safe guess. They’re in a shoe rack in a bodega-like space underneath our stairs. What exactly is under your bed? Is it a mess? Not a mess. I just have my old WWE magazines and other various magazines that I collected as a teenager with Beyoncé and Kristen Stewart on the cover stored in two large containers. Have you ever been in handcuffs? Why, exactly? Not by the police, lol byeeeeeeeeeeee What's your favorite thing to do when drunk? Would you do this sober? I join games a lot more and I’m generally friendlier and louder. I can be the first two when I’m sober, just a lot more reserved. When was the last time you bled? What happened? I caught a mosquito sucking blood off of my knee a week ago. Have you ever had to be put to sleep at a hospital? Why? Nope. Do you actually have a calendar on your wall? What are the pictures of? I do not. When are you planning on moving out of your parents' house? In 2-3 years when I’ve saved enough, probably. I’m itching to do it as soon as I can though. Tell me about your day today. :) It was my parents’ 23rd wedding anniversary so we had a bigger brunch that consisted of pancit Malabon, several sticks of barbecue, sisig, and various kakanin to celebrate. The afternoon was uneventful and I just spent most of it brushing up on my Spanish lessons hah, then I had a quick siesta; then for dinner we had burgers from a local place that recently opened again while the quarantine is ongoing. Are you a fan of dogs? Do you have any pets? I LOVE dogs, except for chihuahuas which I genuinely am unable to start liking because of (most of) their personalities. I will definitely care for one if I see them starving at a road but ugh idk, I just like all other dogs a lot more. And I know there are cuddly and behaved chihuahuas out there but I’ve simply seen more feisty ones and since then it’s been hard to have my mind changed about them. Who was the last person in your family to graduate high school? Was it you? My sister graduated in 2018. Have you ever been on a cruise? How many? Where did they go? Yeah, just once, for my 18th birthday. I went to China, Japan, and South Korea.

#survey #surveys

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spideycents · 6 years

Text

B-Roll // Shawn Mendes - 2: quiet on set

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TABLE OF CONTENTS

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The first extras call for The Breakfast Club is posted almost a week after I apply to be a makeup assistant. It's the middle of the night on what is hopefully our second to last day of filming at this camp. The goal is to wrap second team shoots tomorrow night, then we'll be done, but we keep having to pause filming for stupid rain that won't seem to go away.

During one of the rain breaks, we're at the top of the hill at the onset extras holding under a really large picnic pavilion. Everyone's on their phones or asleep or playing group games to try to stay awake. I'm spacing out and Michael's on twitter when Julie-Anne squeals loudly and shows us the casting call.

"They're looking for high schoolers!" she says excitedly.

"Sheet!" Michael sits up quickly and types fervidly on his phone.

"Are you gonna apply?" Julie-Anne nods at me while she works on her own application.

I shrug. "Later."

"Why not now?" Michael questions me like I'm crazy for not jumping to apply instantly. "We've got plenty of time."

I purse my lips. "I know, but my phone's in my jacket and I don't feel like getting it out right now."

They both laugh and Julie-Anne says: "Mood!"

They're quiet for bit while they finish their applications and find other days to apply for. The irony that we only ever get hired as teenagers when we're all in our 20s now. Extra irony that Julie-Anne is the oldest, but she looks younger than both me and Michael. I don't know why, exactly. We assume it's her round cheeks or the freckles, but we're not entirely sure. She claims she found the fountain of youth. I wouldn't be surprised since her whole family looks pretty young. Especially her mom and she's practically the spitting image of her.

"And done," Michael exclaims loudly and drops his phone into his lap. He falls back in his chair, flails his legs out, and let's his head fall back so he's staring at the ceiling, then he lets out a rather obnoxiously loud Dying Puma.

At least 20 heads turn and look in our direction. Julie-Anne and I both giggle wildly, but Michael's head is still tilted back, and his eyes are closed, so he's oblivious to the audience he's gathered.

"I have three left," Julie-Anne grumbles.

"Bitch." Michael lifts his head and looks at her with super squinty eyes. When his face is as pinched as possible, that's peak judgement. "Gotta get that Verizon."

She glares at him. He smirks. She sticks her tongue out him. He bends his right arm and twirls his wrist, then opens his hand and juts his chin out slightly. She flips him off. He flips her off too. She looks away. He tilts his head back again.

It's basically the silent equivalent of an argument that goes:

"Fine."

"Good."

"Fine!"

Then they both humph loudly and storm off in opposite directions.

The most Julie-Anne and Michael ever do is stop looking at each other. It's okay anyway, their arguments never mean anything. They can't even jokingly insult each other without feeling bad about it. Michael was just joking once when she was throwing away everyone's trash for them. He told her that while she's at it, she should climb in there too. She actually tilted the trash can and lifted her leg to get in, for the meme, but Michael was already freaking out and apologizing because he felt that that was the meanest thing he's ever said to her. That happened eight months ago and he still brings it up.

"I really hope we all get booked," Julie-Anne mumbles, but she doesn't look up from her phone. "And I hope we get to work with Shawn."

"SAME!" Michael super exaggerates the word, turning each letter into its own syllable.

The switch in language when talking about celebrities after you've worked with them, is so apparent to me. Other fans might say they want to see someone, we talk about working with them and mingling like we're co-workers. When, in reality, the most I've ever said to a principle actor was when I told Alexandra Shipp that I liked her shoes and she told me that costumes picked them out, then she walked away.

***

We wrap second team the next day and as we're pulling off the lot as the sun is rising, Michael plays One Last Time from Hamilton and as happy as I am to see the park get smaller and smaller in the rear-view, it's a little bittersweet.

Michael leaves to go back home later that evening, after first getting a well deserved, and extended nap on my couch.

It's a struggle, saying goodbye to him. Even if we don't know when we'll see each other next, the universe somehow finds a way to always bring us together every couple weeks. The longest we've been apart since we met was 23 days, and that was within the first few months of our friendship. Sure, we text and call and facetime and Skype and DM on basically every social media platform possible, all day, every day, but the separation anxiety is still so real. I'd say I have a panic attack about losing him and Julie-Anne every other day or so. It's exhausting.

I still don't know how to tell them about all this shit in my head. They've given me so many opportunities, so many windows, and I keep not taking them. Being open and vulnerable with anyone is terrifying. I still have to work myself up for a few days, sometimes weeks, before I can tell my mom something and I tell her everything.

"Sorry Dad."

He's sitting at the breakfast table, painting with watercolors in one of his sketchbooks. He doesn't look up from his work while he speaks. "What are you sorry for, Rosie?"

I smile slightly at my dad's nickname for me. He's been calling me Rosie or Rosebud since I was little.

I wring my hands in my lap. It's a nervous tick I picked up from my mom.

I shrug and drop my head so my chin is tucked into my neck and I'm staring at my hands. "Everything, I guess."

Dad laughs lightly. "I'm going to need you to be more specific."

I'm not looking at him directly, but I can see him in my peripherals and he's watching me intently, but with kind eyes. Which is how he usually looks at me lately, unless he's mad, but that almost always fades within minutes. He started looking at me with those gentle eyes a few years ago. Whenever it happens, I feel like I'm six years old again, but not in a condescending way. I feel innocent. I feel cared for. I feel protected, safe. He looks at me like that and I feel like I'm home.

I mean, I literally am home. I've been home for awhile, but that's beside the point.

Today's different though. Today I don't deserve to feel warm and fuzzy. I deserve to feel small and weak right now, because that's where I am today. I'm 23 years old, I'm not in school, I'm broke, I'm unemployed, and I'm still living with my parents. I feel about as small as anyone could possibly ever feel.

I scratch red lines into the back of my left hand. "I don't know." I shrug again. I shrug a lot. When you don't know things, shrugging's what you do, and I don't know anything.

Dad rinses off his brush, then dries it and sets it down on a paper towel on the table beside his laptop. "Lyla," he sits up straighter and turns toward me. "Are you okay?"

I don't look at him, but I nod. "I'm okay," I say a little louder than the whispers I've been at. "It's just a weird day."

"Well, you know can talk to me about anything," he's quieter now too. Somehow our big kitchen now feels cramped. Like it's the middle of the night and we're talking softly so we don't disturb anyone.

"Maybe later." I push my chair back and get up.

"Can I give you hug?" Dad asks quietly.

I'm glad he doesn't stretch his arms out toward me cause then I feel like I have to hug him or than I look rude.

"Not right now," I mumble and go up to my room.

"I love you." His voice echoes up the stairs, filling the hallway. All our doors are closed so it feels like the sound just keeps bouncing back and forth. Even after silence has fallen, I can still hear his voice in my head and my ears ring with regret.

I lock my door behind me and turn off the lights before climbing onto my bed. I pull my comforter around me and curl up into a ball in the back corner. I have a big bed so seeing all the empty space around me just makes me feel smaller.

Nothing in particular happened to trigger this sudden onset bout of weirdness, but I guess that's how depression works. Some days are good and others are weird. I don't want to say bad, because they're not really. I just drift through them. I'm probably like this today because I've been non-stop for the past few weeks and now that Michael's gone, I've kind of hit a wall. I just need some introvert time to recharge so I can get all my energy back.

It's funny to word it in that way.

Recharging.

It's like people are batteries and we spend our energy until we're drained so then we have to find a way to get all that energy back. I get my energy back from alone time or caffeine usually, but a good song or a good movie or book also helps, but that's mainly just to make me feel better. Spending time outside or eating a good meal or getting a good night's sleep is also extremely refreshing. But, so is a nice shower or a bath. Honestly, I find energy through lots of things. Even being around my friends or family when we're happy will help. It varies for everyone though, but whatever you have to do it's basically like plugging yourself into a wall until your angry red light turns into a bright, happy green one.

Speaking of charged.

I unplug my phone and roll over so I'm facing the wall while I unlock it and scroll through my different feeds. I like some random Instagram posts from different celebrities and some wedding photos from someone I knew in college who invited a ton of our friends to their wedding, but didn't say a word about it to me. It's annoying to hear about your friend's engagement through a Facebook post, like everyone else they don't care about.

Yay.

I close Instagram and open Twitter.

My feed has been nothing, but angry political debates since 2016.

I've thrown my two cents into the void, but the only people who follow me are my friends and family and a few random One Direction fans from the good old days in 2012/ People rarely see my posts and I don't want to seek out people and start drama with them or respond to problematic tweets that I see from people I follow. A lot of people get really vicious and evil with their responses and I know I'm not the kind of person who can walk away from that kind of battle unscathed. There's definitely a war raging on the internet and I'll stick to serving as medic rather than a soldier.

I scroll a little farther down Twitter, but there's not a single happy or wholesome thing in sight.

I close Twitter and open Tumblr.

Thank God for memes.

As I'm scrolling, I catch a few South Park posts and DM them to my cousin, Esther, and I spot some Marvel things and share them with Michael, and then Shawn fucking Mendes appears on my dash.

Michael's right. I'm never going to be free of him.

It's a gifset of him lying half-naked on a couch.

It's a nice couch.

I scroll down to find another post about Shawn directly below it and reblogged by the same person too.

This is just one photo, a black and white still on him sitting on a bed. Subject matter aside, I have to admit that's a pretty good shot. The way the light's hitting him, the contrast of the shadows, the general composition...it's just really pleasing to look at.

I heart it and keep scrolling. A few memes and text posts and random quotes on nature photos later and I run into another Shawn post.

Another gifset and this work of art is a collection of moments of Shawn licking his lips.

Lovely.

Leave me alone, Mendes.

I close the app and lock my phone. I push it away and pull my blanket over my head. I lay there in the dark for a little, listening to my breathing and the faint murmur of my dad watching Seth Meyers downstairs.

My phone buzzes once.

An email.

It's probably spam, but I turn over and grab it.

It's from the movie.

I got the job.

I'm going to be working as a makeup assistant on The Breakfast Club remake.

I might have to put makeup on real actors.

I might have to work with Shawn Mendes.

I might have to put makeup on Shawn Mendes.

Oh my god.

—-

It’s cringey, but now it’s public so... *shrugs* Tell me your thoughts in the tags or message me.

#b roll #shawn mendes fanfic #shawn mendes #shawn mendes fanfiction #shawn mendes story #shawn peter raul mendes #mendes army #shawn #mendes

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jeonsolar · 6 years

Text

Miraculous Ladybug 2x16 Troublemaker *Commentary*

I’ve done this five? times. And some people like it. But I’m doing this simply because I find myself funny. And I need to empty my brain. So, I hope you guys enjoy my brain dump.

Ok. To start off, Thanks so much to @wild-mare-of-prosecution for giving me a link to this episode. Second, The Incredibles was awesome. 😊

Disney in Spanish? FB page is Russian? Episode in English? Wow, so multicultural.

21 minutes and two of those will be intro and credits? Sigh.

Who’s the villain again? Cuz this white dude seems like every villain in every movie ever.

Why is the mayor supervising the hotel? See? This is why the city is crumbling!

I don’t pity her because she signed up for that job. EVERYONE knows that’s how shity it is.

How French with all the kissing and lack of personal space.

Yo. Those posters make Jagged look more Jagged. That black shirt thing makes him look hot. Stop it with the 80’s clothes. Go simple and awesome.

I wish I had subtitles.

This show is about finding wives, right?

Fill my shoes?! What? That’s an entirely different show, and a bad name.

Only because he likes his adopted niece, Marinette. Also, those lace gloves are. . . (doesn’t want to say but can’t help it) delicately feminine.

I agree Sabine. I agree.

Every homemade show like this that has real like people, they always look and sound completely out of their element. That’s how you know they’re not actors. Also, Marinette, stop being such a fangirl.

She uses the same stress reliever I do. It’s pretty annoying during exams. It annoys even me. But it also calms me down.

When. . . when did he make … the guitar? And … how? He . . . sucks … at … baking….

There’s signal.

Also, I know Asian people can be smaller than average, but this is a joke.

Holy FUCK! I thought they were going to put on Careless Whisper for a second there!!!!

Sabine knows, Penny does the same shit as Marinette.

Who is Adrien excited to see? Jagged, or the croissants?

MARINETTE? NOOO. No way. Adrien -Just a friend- Agreste, did not just say that…

*sings* Juuuustt aaaa . . . . friiiiiieeeeeeennnnddddd!

TOM HAS GREEN EYES? Girls really do go for their fathers.

I paused, and fucking shit, that hair on Tom looks so real -the beard-.

Marinette’s clumsiness deserves an award. That was impressive. Minimal effort too. 9/10

Upstairs and vague? ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?

… What’s with her screen saver? Did she have her computer recording Adrien while they were playing video games? That background is her room. I know someone else said it, but these are badly recycled screencaps. That could have at least made plain backdrops and they would have been believable.

If Marinette spent as much time finding where HawkMoth is as she does with collecting Adrien, Paris would be safe.

Play “Spot Random Pictures of Nino”, is fun. Which brings the question, they made random pics of Nino and they couldn’t do that with Adrien?

Adrien is dabbing in one of them.

After a throughout analysis of the pictures in Mari’s room I’m making the theory that Snapchat exists in their world and Mari just screenshots and prints Adrien’s feed.

Penny is so uncomfortable …. So am I. I don’t want to press play.

Plagg, you little shit.

Wait, how big is that house?

HOW BIG IS THAT HOUSE, THAT THEY HAVE TO REUSE THE STAIR ANIMATION?

ANOTHER FLOOR?

It would have been hilarious if Jagged had been dressed in the dress he’s holding. “Here I am modeling a Marinette original. Am I better than this model boy? I am a better model, aren’t I?”

R E S P E C T. ‘You heard the lady.” Well done Penny.

At least no one made a comment about her period. Also, is completely fair and about time she fucking put them in their place.

HOW DOES GABRIEL RUN A COMPANY IF HE SPENDS MOST OF HIS TIME WAITING IN THAT ROOM FOR SOMETHING TO HAPPEN, SO HE CAN DRAMATICALLY OPEN HIS WINDOW AND BE BAD?

Anime background again. Attack on titan?

I hate to admit, but I would have had the same panic attack. Social media is a bitch.

From that angle her hairstyle looked completely different and Mari looked more Asian.

What a strange lighting, it changes her eye color drastically.

“Plus, its too late already. The show’s live.” *marinette panics and looks at the camera* SOMEONE MAKE A GIF OF THAT AND SEND IT TO ME, ASAP! THIS WILL BE ALL I TEXT FROM NOW ON.

Sabine is a tiger mom and I L O V E IT! Also, Tom appears to be slightly intimidated by the tiny tiger mom.

Sabine is the best mom in the world. Tiger mom, kung fu mom. Caring mom. What else? Ultimately the most B A D A S S MOM IN THE WORLD.

Does… all of Paris have that same security system from Gabriel’s mansion? If so, why was Gabriel so confused by Chat knowing that that mansion had a security system?

What are you talking about? It’s perfect. You are already at the scene of the crime.

Adrien… that was lame.

What if Plagg only likes croissants because it reminds him of Tikki cuz she lives there… I’ll leave that one there for you guys.

Chat… You’re lucky you’re cute.

NO WAY HE LANDED LIKE THAT.

Sometimes I forget he does call her Bugaboo, and that’s not a head cannon.

No. I love Bugabo-

…. What if that was Astruc asking the fans to stop calling her Bugaboo?

Huh? My cat senses are tingling!

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again. Why is Ladybug offering Chat Noir a tour of Marinette’s room? Why is Ladybug so uncomfortable of anyone seeing the pictures? Shouldn’t that arouse Adrien’s suspicion?

When teens hide pictures under their bed is because they do a solo bow-chick-a-bow-wow with them. Marinette has hit puberty. I don’t judge.

*Double checks Mari’s ‘porn’ stash* Adrien boxes?

JESUS CHRIST! WHY ARE THERE SO MANY PICTURES? AND WHY ARE THEY HIDDEN?

Nope. Concussion.

No way she’s that fast. Is ladybug frozen?

*Careless whispers plays in the background as LB and CN hold hands*Fun fact, I actually sang it as it was happening. I don’t kid when I say these are things I say outloud as I watch them.

This is a cool shot. I like it. The focus thing? I like it.

How does he dream it? Does Adrien also write fanfiction about how it will happen? Is Adrien hidden amongst our fanfiction writers?

Are you kitten me, Chat? You are gonna judge her?

Hahahaha, Like a gun. That’s funny.

What detective movies do they watch?

So they glued her to Ladybug…. And they earrings too? Does that mean Marinette can never take them off now? Wouldn’t it be smart to also do that to Chat?

Penny: “What… what happened? Where’s Jagged?”

Ladybug: “What happened? You fucked up my room, my life, and almost my secret identity! That’s what happened?”

Chat and Penny: O.O

Ladybug: “…. I mean…. You’re always so helpful…~”

How… she… she’s gotta stay. A…. and he gotta go….

Chat: “You’re the girl of my dreams.”

Ladybug: . . . . fuck off *pushes him off the balcony*

Smooth LB, smooth.

He’s British right?

Now that! That sounds like real Paris. I like that background sound.

NILYA!

…. This . . .. this looks a lot like that little joke I wrote a few months back…..

Also, Adrien, your sneaky chat is showing.

Adrien looked mad at Mari interrupting him. Adrien, your chat is showing.

Ok. The animation of their eyebrows was soooo exaggerated that they looked angry when they are supposed to be like …. Concentrated, or confused. Make those eyebrows smaller.

THIS IS INTENSE! ADRIEN IS GETTING SMART . . . AND SASSY!!

JUST A FRIEND MY ASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

HAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHHA 8D I AM SO NOT PANICKING AT ALL!!! HAHAHAHAH -Marinette

Adrien your douche is showing.

Also, Adrien, shut up Chat noir. Adrien doesn’t know she hides them under her bed and sofa.

J U S T A F R I E N D

Mari’s boobs got bigger. Yes. I did notice. And if there is continuation to that I’ll accept it. She is in puberty.

Isn’t… isn’t that a parallel to another scene? It feels similar to the umbrella scene. The angles.

Tikki did us a favor of reminding us that Marinette is getting better at talking to Adrien. Thanks Tikki.

I just now realized the page I’m in is not facebook. But it looks like it.

----

I.... really like this episode. Ok , so here’s the deal. My brother got a microphone. If you guys want I can record these. Truth is, a lot of my commentary gets lost because of typing. I’m fast, but not THAT fast. I could try and do it like cinema sins. And it could help bring back the timestamps. Your call. :)

Thanks for reading.

#ml commentary #ml spoilers #miraculous #miraculous ladybug #miraculous ladybug and chat noir #marichat #marinette cheng #marinette and tikki #adrien #adrienette #ladrien #adrien x marinette #adrien agreste #chat noir #ladybug and chat noir #adventures of ladybug and chat noir #ladybug #LadyNoir

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surveys-at-your-service · 6 years

Text

Survey #177

“i get pretty just to fuck my face up.”

What’s your favorite flavor of ice pop? Strawberry or watermelon. Do you like animal print? What’s your favorite print? Not particularly, but I suppose jaguar. What do you think of foot tattoos? Surprisingly, not a big fan. It's gotta be cute, well-placed, and small. Did your senior class in high school have a class trip? Where did you go? Maybe? I don't remember. What do you normally order at Dunkin Donuts? Chocolate frosted. What do you drink with dinner? It varies. Can be soda, water, milk... Peanuts or sunflower seeds? I don't like either. What is your favorite grocery store to shop at, and how often do you shop for groceries? Sam's Club totally has the best deals, but I don't make the shopping calls here. Who is your favorite character from the last movie you watched? Uhhh the super paranoid lady whose actress is a legend. Where did you have your first kiss? What about your last kiss? His bed; airport. What is the last thing you spoke to your father about? Phone bill. Who do you feel you have the most in common with? Sara. Who in your life causes you the most stress or negative feelings? Myself. Have you ever apologized to someone, but didn’t mean it? I'm sure at some point. What is the one thing that you can’t resist? Reese's, I sometimes cannooooot tell myself no to a Mtn. Dew Voltage, wanting to pet an animal even if it's dangerous, and uhhh I'm sure there's more. Have you ever done another person's homework for money? No. If you could play any piece of music on an instrument, what would it be? Teach me the ending piece from WKM on the piano so I could ruin myself further than just listening to it already does. Have you ever treated someone like they were nothing? I don't believe so. If you could ask 5 questions and get an exact answer, what would you ask? Oh yikes, deep one. Um... 1.) what is the cure for cancer, 2.) cure for Alzheimer's/dementia, 3.) cure for HIV/AIDS, 4.) how can/is it even possible to obtain world peace, and 5.) will I be stable in the future are what come to mind first. Does it frighten you when animals get into fights? I GET VERY SCARED FOR THE ANIMALS. When you were little did you touch just about everything in the store? YUP YUP YUP. Do you ever leave your drinks out in the open at a party? N/A, but I absolutely would not. Ever suffered from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder? Yes. Who is someone you’ll always hate? No one I personally know. How many people do you trust 100 percent? Just one. I would include Mom, but I know she lies about Dad. Do you think you could survive a month of solitary confinement? NO, I really think I'd lose it and kill myself. Do you often start books, yet never finish them? I don't read, but I'd do that if I didn't like it. When was the last time you felt abandoned by someone? Idr. Does the sight of blood gross you out? No. Have you ever gone through a red light? No. Do you fail to stop for stop signs, sometimes? No. What is your favorite eye color in the opposite sex? Blue. When you are sad, do you cheer yourself up, or look to others? It depends, but I usually begin with the former. During which year of your life were you the most unhappy? 2016 can been damned by God themselves. Have you ever seen a bluejay in person? Yes. Have you ever eaten grass/leaves? Probably as a kid. Do you typically like green-colored candies? Yeah! Apple flavor is the bomb.com. Who is the most energetic and happy person you know of? Ryder, my nephew. Who makes you smile the most often? Sara Jane. :') How do you express your happiness? I'm louder, more talkative, goofier. When was the last time you did a good deed? Uhhh idk. It's a tiny thing, but I suppose you could count me getting my old man bub with arthritis up on the bed when he wanted up. What songs make you happy? Lots... Do you like to sing? Sometimes, but I'm not good at it. Where is somewhere that holds fond memories for you? Ummm the little pond behind the community college where we took our first prom photos. That whole day was just extremely magical, and passing it is a severe PTSD trigger so if for whatever reason we're driving past there, Mom goes around it. I did pass it a few months back when I was taking pictures of flowers around the college and I was okay, probably because I didn't even glance at it. What do you think of the gothic stereotype? # A E S T H E T I C Have you ever encountered a black widow? Yup. What scares you, more than anything else? Ending up alone/losing all those I love. Has an animal ever peed on you? Lol yeah... Pet rodents have multiple times when getting them accustomed to being held, a puppy probably has, and Venus (my snake) did once after I held her for like an hour, aha. Couldn't be mad at that angel, she was obviously so comfy. What would make a cool substitute color for the sun? Pink. Is purple a good color for a car? Sure. Do you prefer green or purple/red grapes? Purple; crisper. What is something you like that is sour? Warheads. What was the spiciest thing you’ve ever eaten? Some hot wings at BWW with one of the hottest sauces. When was the last time you had a real deep chat? Idk, I'm sure something with Sara. Who did you last see on webcam? I've no idea. Have you ever discovered something gross in your food at McDonalds? No. What’s your favorite flavor of Ramen? I only like the spicy chicken Yakisoba ones. Have you ever spent the night in jail? No. Name a really popular television show you never got into: Ha, a lot. Game of Thrones, for one, but I'd be willing to give it a second chance via more episodes and a different attitude and actually kinda want to. Sara, add that to our list. Do you listen to any unsigned bands/singers? Who? No, I don't believe so. I need to start listening to my old friend's band, though, because I really want to support them; they work so hard and are very serious about taking their band somewhere. Nova Mortis if you're interested and like heavy metal. What do you find really interesting? THE PARANORMAL, for one. Genetics, psychology, fossils, abandoned buildings and shacks, natural selection and evolution, outer space, differences in languages and cultures, and so much more. Who is your favorite video game character? Spyro! What kind of pictures do you post on Facebook/Instagram/Snapchat most frequently? I like never post pictures, but selfies on FB, then I have two photography Instagrams. Do you remember the first person you felt sexually attracted to? Seriously, Jason. Have you ever been on vacation with a significant other? No. Is there anything on your bucket list that you’re hoping to cross off soon? A lot of things, but. Probably won't be soon as many include travel. Of all of your friends’ significant others, who do you get along with best? And least? Sam's wife Kieley is an absolute doll; least, idk. What would your life be like if you had married your first love? HAHAHAHAHA I REEEEEAAAAALLY DON'T WANT TO PICTURE THAT KNOWING NOW HE DIDN'T/DOESN'T BELIEVE IN ME AND CAN'T COMMUNICATE FOR SHIT. What is the most difficult or time-consuming thing you’ve ever cooked? Would you make it again? N/A Have you ever had a platonic friend that everyone insisted you should be in a relationship with? Girt, hardcore. Eventually did, but we know how that went. Is there anything about a person’s sexual past that might stop you from wanting to date them? Yup: if they've assaulted someone, prostitution is involved, casual flings/one-night stands have happened, being/have been a porn star, cheated before. If someone asked your closest friends/family members what career path might suit you best, what do you think they would say? Like, everyone will answer that question with "vet." Have you ever considered “unplugging”/taking a significant period of time away from technology? lol nope I doubt I'd last a day with no technology. Do you use a photo editor? Lightroom, Photoshop, sometimes PhotoScape. Is your dad overweight? Quite the opposite. Ever been honked at? Yeah. Which do you prefer, doctor or dentist? Dentist; I'm never nervous for them. Name two things you put whipped cream on? I haaaate whipped cream. Texture thing. Favorite thing you’ve ever painted? Two meerkats grooming, done on a huge thing of burlap. What’s your favorite type of sushi? Never tried, never will. Have you ever had an ulcer? No. What’s the name of the most recent baby a friend has had? Scarlett. Have you ever taken medication to help you fall asleep faster? Yup. I had a long insomnia streak where I physically couldn't sleep without Melatonin. What is your current favorite song? I'm hooked on "The Bottom is a Rock" by Mother Mother rn. If you had to move to another country, where would you move? Canada. Do you have a balcony? No. Are you jealous of anyone, even mildly? If so, who? Yeah, my sisters, as well as some real successful friends. Have you ever done a craft you saw in a magazine? No. Have you ever made a recipe you found in a magazine? No. Who is a singer that has given you chills? Celine Dion, Loreena McKennitt, Sebastian Bach, David Draiman, and Amy Lee off the top of my head. What act would you perform in a talent show? I wouldn't, I got nothin'. What area are you the most gifted in, do you think? Um... writing, I guess? Which style of wedding dress is your favorite? BALLGOWN BITCH Do you enjoy editing videos? Ye! Do you enjoy editing photos? Yup. Who do you think is the most attractive actor? I see u Jason Momoa. Have you ever been caught doing something REAL embarrassing by your parents? I don't believe so. Do you believe in reincarnation? No. Do you have any of your neighbors as friends on Facebook? No. When was the last time you thought about sex, or sexual things? Ummm within the past few days probably, at least briefly? Are there any flowers planted outside your house? We have a tall bush that sprouts big, pink flowers, if that counts. Does anyone in your family smoke? Dad. What was the very first election you voted in? I haven't yet. Do you have a drone? No. Are you the type that’s too ashamed to ask for or use directions? No, rather too shy. Were you tired when you woke up this morning? YEAH. I slept like shit and had to get up early for a VR assessment. You overhear two people gossiping about you; what do you do? I feel like I'd say something sarcastic to them. Or be more mature about it and ask why. Or cry. Are you proud of who you are? Eh, only in certain areas... Is your vision good? I can barely read the line below the big "E." So no lmao. Are you a legal adult? Yeah but idk how. Has anyone ever called you a flirt? No. What was the last compliment your received? The assessment lady at VR loved my hair. Do you know any sign language? No. Who was the last person to give you a gift? Sara, on our anniversary. Do you trust the media? HAHAHAHAHAHAHA BITCH NO. If you could kill off one species of animal, which would it be? Can gnats like????? not???????? Idk if they have a single useful function????????? What kind of cookies are your favorite? Chocolate chip. Who’d you last say I love you to? My mom. What’s the most overpaid job in your opinion? I'm not educated on this enough to give you an informed answer. What’s the last thing you wrote down? Working out a math problem during the assessment. When’s the last time you didn’t sleep in your own bed? Over a month ago. When’s the last time you heard a gunshot? Idk. Who’d you get mad at last? Myself. What’s the last thing that annoyed you? Bentley wouldn't listen. When’s the last time you gave someone advice? I think yesterday? Do you think you’re lucky, unlucky, or neither? Neither. Who did you last disappoint? Myself. Do you enjoy learning? Of course!!!! I mean there're subjects I have no interest in and don't enjoy, but learning as a whole is great. People say you learn something new every day, so what did you learn today? Well it was nothing big, but that I could return Miku before she got hurt since Mitsu didn't appreciate a new "buddy." Yes or no: eyebrow piercings? They can look super badass or awful depending on your face and eyebrow thickness imo. When I say The Beatles, what is the first song that comes to mind? "Yellow Submarine" even tho I hate that song???? In your opinion, what is the very worst type of weather? Hot and humid, especially with no breeze. Just no. You can only listen to 1 band for the rest of your life, who do you pick? DON'T MAKE ME. What is something that you had to learn the hard way? DON'T. THINK. A RELATIONSHIP. IS WITHOUT A SINGLE CHANCE. OF. SOMEONE. LEAVING. EVEN. IN THE MOST "SECURE" ONES. When was the last time you felt like your heart was actually breaking? Ahhhh I'm not sure. Either something with Mom or Sara. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Mom. If your ex called you right now, would you answer? I don't have his number, so I wouldn't answer. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with? Sara. Do you want your tongue pierced? It is. 10/10 recommend for cute factor, but 0/10 for the healing process and pain asjfawiwo. Mine's through the very tip of my tongue and because that area is so sensitive, it was so painful that I became immediately nauseous. Pain didn't entirely vanish for almost two weeks. BUT I have zero regrets, so worth it. Is there something that happened in your past you hate talking about? Yeah. What’s one thing in your life that you wish you could change? Financial position. Have you ever been in a perfect relationship? Ha, don't ever believe those exist. Do you still talk to the person who broke your heart the most? Nope. Have you ever done something sexual that you regret? Ummm I don't believe so. Well, I don't know if I'd take back going all the way or whatever the fuck that was, maybe I would. idk Ever had a person who was obsessed with you so much that it scared you? No. Can you drive, and if you can, do you like it? I'm capable, but I don't enjoy it at all. Have you ever said anything to the last person you kissed that you regret? Yeah, being in a shit mood and/or being impulsive with my words. Do you like french fries? Who the FUCK sayin no to this. Have you ever ate so much you puked? No. Do you care about what others think of your physical appearance? To some degree/in certain aspects. Would you rather eat cookies or brownies? Probs brownies. Have you ever played a drinking game? Which ones? No. Are you good with managing your finances? I don't. Not in that position yet. What is the closest pizza place to your house? Domino's. Do you have any silly nicknames or pet names? Hmmmm no. Are you any good at drawing? Some things. Is there anything unusual about your house? No. Can you maintain a text conversation or do you run out of things to say? I think I'm good at keeping *text* convos going, surprisingly. Do you find it hard to talk to strangers, even people who work in stores? YEAH!!!!!!! Have you ever tasted goat’s milk? No. Did you ever take classes for a musical instrument when you were younger? Yup. Band member all through middle school, stopped after my junior year of HS. Do you snore when you sleep? No, but I talk a loooot. Who is the first person who broke your heart? Dad. Do you know anyone who has fought in a war? Jason's dad was in the Navy. What religion are you? Theist, which basically just entails me believing there's a god/goddess/some sorta beginning deity, but hell if I know anything about them. I make my own guesses. Who is the last person you gave a ride to, and where did you take them? I don't have a license or my own car. What is the last thing you untruthfully denied? Hm. I'm not sure. Have you ever ridden on a real train? No. Name ONE good memory about your last ex? He's absolutely hilarious and I miss hanging out more! Would you consider yourself dishonest? Not gonna bullshit and claim I never am, but in general, no. Do you tend to let people break through your walls easily? HAHA YEAH RIGHT. What are you superstitious about? Nothing. What is the coolest thing you can do? Oh boy, hell if I know. I know from experience people are often surprised how even skittish animals/pets seem to be drawn to me; does that count? Is there anyone you want to hook up with that you haven’t? Not my thing.

#survey #quiz #questions #random

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hippyjonny · 3 years

Text

The Face of the Devil

Hello,

I have been brought to the brink of a nervous breakdown. I contemplated very lightly and romantically the concept of suicide. My situation is unique in that I live in Japan and the woman who bullied me is the only other English speaking employee at the school. To make matters worse, we were put into the same office, much like a pen. From the first day I worked she treated me like shit and condescended me. She told me to my face that Mr. Motoda, the man in charge of hiring me, did not do his job properly when he chose me because I was not qualified to do this job. From then on she constantly passive-aggressively badgered me. She would make it a point to say “Enjoy your mid-week weekend” about my day off on Wednesday (as I am part time) instead of just saying “See you later.” I confronted her about this and she made excuses that I can’t remember. She would talk to me non-stop when I was trying to study Japanese and narrate her Facebook feed out loud. I began to move to the library at the school for peace. After a while of this habit she told me, “You really like the library, huh?” Then when our contracts were being renewed and she kept prying Into whether or not I was being hired for the next year, I tried to keep my status anonymous as it was my business. I snuck to the vice principal to finalize the deal, but when I arrived back at the office she was waiting and told me she had heard I was renewing. I was sneaking around my own school to avoid her, but she still found a way to invade my space. The early years at our school presented us with terrible students due to the school being private and lacking high academic standards. It was more a pay-to-play situation. So, our senior students were some of the most inconsiderate kids I had encountered and anyone would feel frustrated trying to deal with them. Without thinking I plopped myself in the chair, sighed and offhandedly said, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.” She told me that she would have to report what I said to the principal. I was preoccupied with my issues and barely heard her. I brushed her off and said something like, “Do what you gotta do,” not really understanding what the hell she was talking about. However, she actually went to the management and told them that I had said verbatim that I “don’t like teaching.” She would overpower me with her opinions without taking into consideration my own and eventually I stopped talking to her altogether. However, she would still engage me in conversation regardless if I was studying. Eventually I began listening to YouTube meditation videos before school to try and deal with the onslaught of the coming day with her. Once I didn’t have time at home to listen to my meditation video so I tried to do it at school. I had headphones on and I remember she approached me and I could see her mouth moving. I took my headphones out and she said something unimportant that I couldn’t remember if I tried. Then I put my headphones back in. We repeated this process—I kid you not— four times. Then I went to the roof and silently screamed. She once came into the office one morning and just started screaming at the top of her lungs. She was mad about what she perceived as sexual harassment from one of the students. It’s a complicated issue to explain, but I had discussed the issue at length with many Japanese women and they told me that my Western psychopathic coworker was overreacting and they all just laughed. My coworker would often cry, lose her temper or just be volatile in general at work. What Is most interesting about her is that her father was a counselor. She told me even about her experiences with psychopaths and how they were very scary in real life. She once told me that she “would make a great boss” and that all her coworkers at her old job “loved” her. She once asked me if I was confident in my lesson plans. I said I would always have doubts. When I asked her, “You?” She said without blinking an eye, “100%” She once told me to “say thank you” to a child. By the way, I am a 36 year old adult male. I had talked to her about her passive aggressive mentioning of my days off. We ended up exposing her self-righteous attitude that my offhanded comment about not liking English teaching was enough to make me unworthy of the duty in her eyes. I told her, “If you ask a taxi driver if this was their destiny, do you think they would all say yes? People have to make a living and can still do a good job doing it.” Despite trying to bring this difference of opinions out in the open, it didn’t change anything. Finally, I had had enough and while shaking I talked to one of the heads of the school, Mr. Ato. I did my best to explain 3 years of abuse and he finally said in English, “She’s—uh…mental.” For once in my 3 years, I felt validated. I asked the management to move me to a different office and they did. For a brief moment I experienced pure bliss. She didn’t visit me and we had nothing to do with each other. Then suddenly she came to me with a scheme. She told me she had heard some rumors that the English department was changing directions and that our jobs might disappear. According to her the principal had alluded to some changes and we needed to get with the program or face the consequences. I, a native simpleton, freaked out for a good 10 minutes and bought into it. Her plan of action was a unilaterally decided change of curriculum. She decided we were all taking a new direction as an English department even though she is not a boss, just an employee who teaches classes completely separate from me. Little did I know, this was her way of entangling me back into her sinister web once more. I agreed thinking that the best tactic was just to pretend to care and nod my head so that she would quickly leave the vicinity of my office. However, that was my grave mistake. From then on I became her slave. She gave me deadlines and new tasks as if she were a boss until the point where I had to confront her and make myself clear to her once more. “I am not your employee…Please keep all conversations work-related from here on out.” And she abided, but she simply changed the definition of “workplace conversations.” After more annoying updates about the direction of English education in Japan and her thought process into every detail of her papers, she finally came to me with a new emergency. This time, she had seen a memo in the morning online Teams bulletin board and saw that the OE of Oral English had been replaced with question marks. I literally never read a single memo, so of course I would not have seen this. She came to me saying that we were once again in danger of losing our jobs and we must act quickly. So she had called a meeting with the boss in order to confront Mr. Suginomori who she had dictated was the enemy of her plan. She saw the was ignoring her e-mails and had plans to squeeze us out of our positions. As a part-time worker, I don’t want to be involved in any of these discussions. If I am fired, I simply will find a new job, as people do. This was all extraneous information. Feeling frustrated, scared and mostly exhausted with her bullshit, I fell back on my age-old tactic of just agreeing with everything she said and then not following through. However, now I had inadvertently agreed to attend a meeting which was brought about to confront a Japanese English teacher. He is a good man, though a little old fashioned, and she had not once confirmed what was actually happening. She simply made up a situation in her head and then tried to manipulate me into getting what she wanted. I have played dumb for the entire 5 years of my employment to maintain the upper hand. She had no idea that I had requested that we be put in separate offices. She came to me and complained about it and I pretended to listen. Actually, once I came back from Summer vacation to find that my lunch box had gone missing. Something you must understand about Japanese society is that they do not steal. That is a 96% true statement. The nearly never steal and it would be an astronomical anomaly for someone in a private school of well-off students and teachers to want to steal a bento box that was made for a 6’ 3” Western man, probably too big to fit into their valise. However, when I asked my co-worker about it she told me, “Well, I don’t know, but someone probably got annoyed that it was taking up that space for so long. The Japanese people would find it rude.” Clearly she threw away my bento box out of spite or some bizarre personal code of ethics. Anyway, I began to feel the anxiety I used to feel when we shared an office together again. I would wake up sometimes and she was already on my mind, and if you know me at all, to have work on my mind after work is the last thing I would ever do. So, I knew that I would have to deal with her once more despite having already having a conversation with her about professional boundaries. In the previous discussion I told her that we should keep our communications “work-related” and that any other conversation should be avoided In order for us to make the best use of our time. She obeyed this for a bit and then eventually came to invade my space and boundaries once again. Her excuse for doing so was in a similar vein to her first attempt, the possible loss of our livelihood. So, for weeks I agonized over how I would word my NEXT conversation with her. I wrote 5 or 6 drafts of many different letters. Some of the first ones were similar to this except more spiteful, delineating every single thing that happened and my psychology behind pretending that I cared about the things she cared about. I thought that the pivot on which our problem teetered was the fact that she could not respect the fact that I don’t invest myself into the work as much as she believed I should, but that that was just an opinion and nothing more. Other drafts were evil hate letters. Finally, I came up with a professional solution which stated that I felt stressed being told I was going to lose my job every month and it was making it difficult to do my work. I told her that I wanted to reiterate my previous statement by redefining what I meant by “work-related conversation.” This definition did not included unfounded gossip and our discussions did not need to take an entire hour because they could easily be completed in ten minutes. Her reply was that I was sending her “mixed messages” because I had stated I was interested in being included in decisions about the English department. However, she had created an entire curriculum and began to implement it without gaining anyone’s consent. This is a clear difference from what tense she decided to use for the verb in question 4 on worksheet number 11. I snapped. I knew the whole time that if I lose my cool, I would lose everything, but I am only a man and I have my limits. This exceeded my limit. So, I told her everything I’m telling you now and more. So, now it was all in the open. When I talked to the management, they listened to me go on for 20 minutes and all they said was, “We sympathize. Can you put it in writing? Try and relax for your summer vacation and come back refreshed.” They didn’t give a rats ass what happened to me. Now I had not only made myself exposed to my psychopathic coworker, but I had also made myself appear to fit the stereotype of the emotionally unhinged and sloppy Westerner. My ass was flapping in the breeze and I had no energy left. I dejectedly sulked around the school asking literally 4 different people who needed to stamp my fucking vacation paper to get it approved with all conflicting answers on what was already the most humiliating day of my life. My soul left my body. I went to the roof and looked past a locked fence. I imagined climbing over it, looking down at the concrete from the fourth floor, and what it might feel like to plummet to a beautiful, emancipatory smack. I had psychologically and physically come to realize why so many people in Japan come to commit suicide. All channels had been tapped and there was absolutely no support system in place. As soon as you are not harmonious for even a second you are the instant pariah. You are collectively repulsed and flaked like a dead skin cell, because to the Japanese, a show of emotion is nearly sickening. It disgusts them and only proves your weakness. After all this time trying to keep my cool, I had lost. Now I am still in the thick of this situation. I don’t know whether I will quit, how my coworker has reacted to my second confrontation, and whether the school will simply fire both of us now for being troublesome, emotional foreigners. However, I have finally learned what it was that was plaguing me and tormenting me. It was a psychopath in the flesh. I had a tendency to feel sorry for her on several occasions because she had nothing else in her life and was trying to create meaning through imaginary battles and enemies, much like Don Quixote. But I had already told myself multiple times that if I felt the urge to humanize her that I needed to clip it off deliberately because those were the times I was made vulnerable and she struck like a cobra. So when she came to my desk a final time before summer break to hand off some papers she made it was like staring the into the face of the devil herself. Her head creaked and as she twisted it slowly towards mine in my seat. I muttered, “Thank you.” Gnashing her teeth, she interrupted me as she always does and said with a grin that would make Nosferatu shit his pants, “I finally got around to making that phrasal verb worksheet. I hope you have a wonnnnnnnnnnderful summer.” Then she slithered out of the room as fast as she could. Not only do I see why Japanese crime basically is outbursts of uncontrolled rage and suicide, but I also have seen into the mind of a killer. I have pondered so many times if she is a sinister mastermind or the world’s most unaware imbecile, and therein lies the danger of a psychopath. Heed my tale and keep your senses sharp because you might be the next unsuspecting victim of their guiles. I have had a mental breakdown and am reconsidering continuing my work there. I am considering any remaining avenues of reform, but I am beginning to believe that my sanity is not worth the cost. I hope that my story can help another person who is struggling like me because I have never encountered anything like this in my life. We like to believe that God is real and that we can make the world fair and society is civilized, but at the end of the day it truly is a Darwinian free for all. I am no conservative, but I can’t fully deny the death penalty and despite the ridiculous amount of gun-related deaths in America and it’s lackadaisical regulations, one can’t help but wonder after staring a demon in the face whether or not it might not be a bad idea to pack some heat. Beware. There are soul suckers among our midst.

#psychopaths #workplace #work #satan #devil #demon #coworker #psychology

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sentinelkelly · 7 years

Text

Destiny 2: Curse of the Butthurt Man-Children Review

Destiny 2 has been in trouble for awhile now and despite what the crying man-children on Reddit, Twitter, Facebook, the Bungie forums and the hack of journalists from Kotaku, Forbes (lol did I really include them?), IGN, and Polygon, I strongly believe Destiny 2 is getting better in some aspects and worse in others. I still believe this game have great potential in the future, but for Destiny 2 to be great, Bungie needs to be less reactive and beat the community to the punch, sort of speak. More on that a little later. Let’s get on to my blasphemous opinions.

The Story

The Curse of Osiris story reminds me of Call of Duty: Black Ops III’s story. Let me explain before you get triggered: The Call of Duty, in my opinion, always had a great story despite how you felt about the multiplayer and it’s community. When I played Black Ops III’s campaign, I couldn’t help but to be lost in the plot and be almost put to sleep. The plot was convoluted and had too much filler content that further added to my confusion. This is exactly how I felt playing Curse of Osiris’s story. Although people think the story was pretty fast, I beg to differ. It took me about 4 hours to complete, excluding getting distracted by Public Events and in real life stuff. Then again, I wasn’t speed-running. Maybe that’s why, but it was definitely longer than the Dark Below which a lot of people forget about. Bungie squandered a perfect opportunity to effectively use the Osiris lore.

At the same token, Bungie opened the door to expanding the Osiris lore (besides a webcomic) and revealing some Saint-14 lore. I would also love some Dredgen Yor lore at some point too. Time well tell how much more lore we’ll get and of whom.

Eververse

Dear Lord... I hate the fact that the loot pool is so large and RNG is still what you expect from a Destiny game. If I had to pick which is worse between Treasures of Ages and Illuminated Engrams, I wouldn’t answer because there is no lesser of the two evils. Although, at least I get the armor in Destiny 2 while I still haven’t get a single piece of AoT armor for any character on Destiny 1... on Xbox and PS4.

At the end of the day, her wares are still optional, cosmetic to a certain extent, and not game breaking. That’s all I truly ask for in microtransacions. You can make the argument that the Ghost Shells increase xp gains, points out nearby chests and all that jazz. Then, I’ll rebuttal by calling you a retard and ask a simple question: “How does differ from other Ghost Shells and how does it give you an unfair advantage in the Crucible?” Basically, the only people who still hates Eververse are unlucky like me, poor/cheap people and conspiracy theorists that think Bungie is intentionally making her stuff look better than the non-microtransaction gear. Stop being poor. Taste is subjective.

Mercury

It’s a very small area that I would’ve forgiven if you could freely explore the Infinite Forest, Past Mercury, and Dark Future Mercury. However, you can’t. You can only replay the story missions and adventures to go to those places. Not to mention there’s only one Lost Sector. There’s enough space for at least three. Mercury was over-hyped. The Infinite Forest was filler. More could’ve been done.

Despite that, the visuals are beautiful as always. Past Mercury gives you a sense of peace and serenity while Dark Future Mercury makes the atmosphere more grim and dire. Also, doing Flashpoints on Mercury doesn’t require to actually do a single Public Event. You just have to kill majors that are running around the map.

The Leviathan Raid Lair

I have not played it yet, but I heard great things about it. It’s a shame that Bungie advertised it as just a shorter version of the current raid with different bosses and mechanics because I had low expectations and now I think I might be in for a great time.

I’ll update more when I can finally play it.

#TwoTokensAndABlue: Public Events were Nerfed

So much with being rewarding. Less xp gains, lower probability getting exotics, and quite frankly more of a reason not drop everything to go do one.

The Current State of Crucible

Crucible is still like listening to music on Spotify without premium: You gotta play until you get the gametype you want or keep backing out until you get the match you want. There are also no signs of old Destiny 1 game modes returning and the current ones being separated.

At least, we get to tell future Kinderguardians that for a weekend, the Destiny Community was able to play a large game of laser tag and then there’s the return of Mayhem Clash. MC is the only thing making PvP worth play to me.

Armor Ornaments

I’mma just say it: Most of the ornaments makes the armor look ugly and/or are uninspired. Above all, I’m extremely disappointed with Future War Cult’s. All it does is change the color scheme to white and blue. That’s it.

I do like the fact that you can unlock ornaments account wide. For example, unlocking the Crucible Titan Mark ornament unlocks the Crucible Hunter Cloak and Warlock Bond even if you never played on the other characters.

“Heroic” Strikes

Oh boy... Where do I begin? I was very excited about this. A good percentage of my Destiny 1 playtime was shutting my brain off after a long day and running Heroic Strikes if I liked the modifiers. Destiny 2 said, “Why don’t I just take Vanguard Strikes, raise the power level and call it Heroic Strikes? That’s it!” Bungie did say that they will add modifiers, but two things: 1) Why didn’t you just wait? If it’s incomplete why release it now when you could do so later complete? 2) I hope the modifiers aren’t the Destiny 2 Nightfall modifiers. Please God no.

The Vault System is Still a Mess

Imagine every single file on your computer was on your desktop. No folders. Just right there in front of your face. On top of all that, you can only have 200 of those files on your computer before you have to start deleting stuff. That’s where we’re still at. Not to mention you can hold up to 50 different shaders on your person, yet Bungie decides to make more than 50 unique shaders. It gets better: Duplicate Dawning shaders will sort into separate stacks depending on where they were received from. Dawning shaders received through Eververse will fall into one stack, and shaders earned through activity rewards will be sorted into another. This is not a bug and was intentional. On top of all this: no increased vault space, shader kiosk, or mass deletion option.

Prestige Mode Locked by CoO-Paywall

It seems like the less you invest in Destiny 2 (monetary-wise and in playtime), the more your opinion matters somehow in comparison to actual dedicated fans of the game. The whole issue was that people who didn’t owe the DLC, can’t play the 330 version of the Nightfall & Leviathan Raid due to vanilla players not being able to reach the new level cap. Trials of the Nine was also blocked. Note: Normal Mode was bumped up for both the Nightfall and Raid so you can still reach 305 playing those. Trials ALWAYS required people to have the latest DLC and patches. Hell, Nightfalls got the same treatment in Destiny 1, and mind you, there was only one difficulty. The only people that were angry were the disgruntled Destiny 2 players who stopped playing a long time ago and/or already owns the DLC. Trust me, if you’re a hardcore fan of Destiny or remotely likes it, you would’ve made arrangements to get the DLC. Don’t come at me with that “I love the game, but have no money” bullshit. This was all a case of “What if my friend buys Destiny 2 and I can’t play with him/her?!” Um... tell them to buy the game used/on sale and the DLC? Maybe you could buy it for them so you can play with them? Gee, this is a difficult situation I’ve never been in.

Trust me, no one who hasn’t bought Destiny 2 at this point won’t buy it because of all of the ruckus this community is making. Due to Bungie getting cuck’d by a bunch of poor people who don’t even play their game anymore that complained about a theoretical situation, the first Faction Rally of Season 2 was postponed to I assume (I hope) at the beginning of 2018.

Quality of Life Updates Frequency

I remember a time Bungie was constantly adjusting things like the economy and user interface on top of tuning weapons and subclasses, squashing bugs and things of that nature. Destiny 2 received its first Quality of Life update in December on the day of this DLC’s release. Yeah, Bungie fixed stuff here and there between vanilla Destiny 2 and Curse of Osiris releases, but there was the over abundance of legendary shards some people had to deal with, shitty RNG not giving people what they want, etc. that was just improved. The difference between patches and QoL updates to me is one fix problems and the other improves on what was working fine but can be frustrating. There is less of the latter.

The State of the Destiny Community

Everything that I’ve stated thus far is forgivable. However, Destiny 2′s state of being the target of hit pieces of gaming media and butthurt “fan” backlash is 10% Bungie being reactive, 10% Bungie making dumbass decisions, 80% self-proclaimed fans having buyer’s remorse. Destiny 1 was considered an abomination of game around this time last year for whatever dumb reason people came up with. Destiny 1 was shitted on repeatedly. Now all of a sudden, people love and miss Destiny 1 so much. It was the community’s constant bitching that made Destiny 2 the way it is. Bungie had to find a way to not repeat Destiny 1, but guess what... people flipped flopped. Ask any Destiny fan how they felt about Destiny 1, I guarantee all will praise it, but half of them were singing a different tune last year. Destiny 2 and Curse of Osiris is the community’s fault. Bungie had some part in the blame, but: 1) Me and every other non-Bungie employee don’t know what’s going on behind closed doors at the studio in Redmond, WA. 2) If anything, blame the leadership at Bungie. Why are you getting mad some artist or sound engineer. They don’t program the game or have authority to do whatever they want to the final product if it’s outside of their department.

We are the point where people constantly complaining about bullshit like optional microtransactions and plays other games are considered “concerned fans.” Meanwhile, people like me who are objective, still actively plays the game despite it’s current state, and can compliment game when something is done right gets accused of being on Bungie’s payroll. The toxicity of this community reached heights I never thought possible and it makes me cringe to be an actual fan sometimes. Not to say I’m an angel, which I’m not, but at least I provide constructive criticism to Bungie and lash out at little Jimmy who claims to hate the game so much. I’m against people who insist upon passing on their misery onto other people who are actually enjoying the game. I’ve looked on GameStop’s app and Destiny 2 is worth between $12-18. I can recommend better games for that price. If you have Destiny 2 on disc and are that dissatisfied with it, I challenge you to sell it. If you have it digitally, I’m sure you can get a full refund somehow. I challenge you to get that refund. A reasonable adult, tries to get their money back and move on. If you don’t at least try, you’re full shit.

Bungie’s only unforgivable sin is giving birth to a community of entitled ingrates.

Final Verdict: 7.75/10

This could’ve been better and it could get better in 2018. However, out of the gate... it does not live up to the hype.

#destiny #destiny 2 #destiny the game #destiny 2: curse of osiris #curse of osiris #review #bungie #activision #fanboy alert #mercury #eververse #leviathan #raid

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paulsolorzano · 6 years

Text

01.31.19

So when Axxxxx found out she was pregnant when we were in Fairbanks in Alaska we got a pregnancy app to chart the baby’s progress.

The baby was due two weeks ago.

I knew the date was coming up and it’s depressing to think about on multiple levels. Remind me to talk about it.

—-

Was supposed to hang with Cxxxxxxx tonite but Kxxxx actually wants to see me and was asking me about it so, I’m gonna have to get out of it with her.

Cxxxxxxxx hit me up on Facebook messenger asking if I still wanted to hang. I haven’t responded yet.

—-

Ive been to this Starbucks so many times that the guy Josh, calls me by my name when he sees me in the camera, and knows my drink here.

I don’t know what to think about that.

It speaks something about my habits of course. In a sense I was happy to hear my name and my drink, but it’s like goddam, is this my life?

—

I need to remind myself not to be the old server.

—

Still need to tell Cxxxxxxxx I need to take a rain check

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Jeff Rosenstock show and how inspiring it was

Not having a baby with Axxxxx instead of having one

“Don’t be the old server”

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.30.19

I can’t remember what I wanted to be when I grew up; it doesn’t matter because I’m not whatever it was.

This storage space elevator smells like sweaty bodies.

-//

Plugging along on the I-4 westbound. Something up the way is really holding up the traffic. Luckily I have my music.

Aaron Tobin called me to let me know his (and our to an extent) boy Todd, died of a massive heart attack. He was Tobins age, 39 maybe 40.

To be fair this guy was huge his whole life and also on drugs. He had he heart attack in jail from what I understand. He turned himself in for a warrant he had going.

Wild shit. Living long enough for people to be dying around us

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Jeff Rosenstock show and how inspiring it was

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - POST-

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“ It’s like somebody traded out my skin, for something I could never feel good in” -Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.29.19

Jeff Rosenstock tonite. I finagled three tickets from a friend online, for me and Danielito and Kristy, but unfortunately they can’t make it.

So I’m going solo. Asked a couple girls on the roster but no luck so far. And it’s that time. So I’ll be forging on alone.

Gotta get earplugs.

—-

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“ we’ll diffuse bombs, run marathons, and take on whatever together” - Grandaddy

“Wizards, stop throwing fruit at me!” - Reggie and the full effect

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.28.19

Monday. I’m off. Had plans with Mxxxx in the morning but she’s taken ill.

I tentatively have plans with Kxxxx tonite, which I need to attempt to solidify tonite. Ok, the text has been sent: “hangs tonite?”

Easy enough.

She already asked about Monday on Sunday morning after Saturday night hangs and bangs.

Waiting on her response. Listening to Mary Hopkin. This shit is my new shit, which is old shit like back in 1969. Produced by Paul McCartney is definitely why I like it.

—-

Of course this is all happening at my storage space. This is where I hang currently. Since I’ve been back to Orlando. I hang here with my shit and wrote and do art and catalogue and attempt to trim down and move shit around to maximize the space.

—

So back to the Kxxxx thing, she’s ill too. Everyone is sick for some reason. I’ve always been a carrier, rarely getting ill myself.

—

Had a conversation with Cxxxxxxxx. She was upset about a week ago when she perceived me to be placing blame on her when she couldn’t hang out spur of the moment.

So I waited almost a week and she didn’t text or message me once.

So I wrote her. She’s pretty much embittered by a lot of previous bull shit that other people have heaped on to the pile.

Now I suffer for the sins of the last person.

To be fair she was super in to me when we met and I sort of nipped the ‘let’s hop into a relationship immediately after she gets out of one’ enthusiasm in the bud.

So, she seems to be indifferent to me, and more broadly, people in general. Hard to say.

I don’t really need to put that much emotional energy into it, as I have other more interested coals in the fire.

But she’s grown on me. So there’s that.

I’m not trying to abandon any of the women I get involved with.

Do I want to commit to any of them fully? At present, no.

And naturally I think of Axxxxx. Always her. She blew my hair back. I blew it with her.

—-

There’s a cute Hispanic girl in this Denny’s right now, sitting alone and watching Futurama. I keep glancing over there to watch.

Also the girl who just came in for her shift at 11:00 has just left hurriedly in tears. I have no damn clue what the hell happened.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Blink-182 enema of the state

Weezer - blue album

Mary Hopkin - post card

Deadmau5 - Polar: Music from the Netflix film

Dream tiger - dream tiger

Lorn - ask the dust

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Reggie and the full effect - songs to not get married to

Reggie and the full effect - promotional copy

Big business - command your weather

Piebald - we are the only friends that we have

Watching:

Step Brothers

Reading:

Eating:

Denny’s mozzarella sticks and coffee

Playing:

Purchases:

Paul McCartney Wings 45s

Record sleeves for 33s and 45s

Packages received:

Jeff rosenstock - POST casette

Wings - silly love songs 45 rpm

Mary hopkin- those were the days 45 rpm

Snow White seven dwarves figs

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Welcome to your life; there’s no turning back” - tears for fears

“ I’m like everybody else; as a shamed of sleep I lie when a phone call wakes me” - WHY?

Quote of the day:

“This house is a prison! On planet Bullshit!” - Brennan and Dale, Step Brothers

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.27.19

Cold and wet all day today. Truly a day where it rained all day.

Spent the night at Kxxxx’s house. Who’s Kxxxx you ask? She is from the internet dating app OkCupid. I broke one of my own rules and slept over there. And this was last night, which was also the first night i met her in person and also the first time we had sex.

I say the first time assuming there will be more times. She and I definitely get along. It’s weird because she reminds me of Holly D in several ways.

First off Kxxxx body is kind of shaped like Holly’s. She’s taller than I am. Big tits and ass. Back tattoo from what I could gather

01.26.19

I do everything high these days. I’m here at Orlando you and comic con hittin the pen hard. Already smoked before I left the house.

This con is good because it’s smaller and I can make trips back to the car to bring back stuffs I’ve gotten. So I don’t have to roll around with a backpack.

—-

At chipotle now. Had to drive to get here. Just up the road from the mall. I don’t know if I’ll go back to the con. Technically it goes til 7 but idk.

—-

Spent a lot of fucking money today but I knew that was happening

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Basia Bulat - good advice

Weezer - teal album

The octopus project

Peter Adams - the spiral eyes

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“This is a womanly car” - me taking about Tina Watkins car that I drive around like an asshole.

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.25.19

I put the coins that I had organized fell yesterday into the sheets, I stuck them and the paper money into a three ring binder I got from Office Depot yesterday.

I don’t want to work today but I must.

Until I innovate my way out of this, I have to work for the man. Remember that you asshole, the next time you cry about it.

—-

Chilled at the space and made some room for stuff. Slowly and surely ditching stuff

—-

got called off from work today in a Friday. I haven’t worked all week because reasons. I asked for a couple days off to to the Neil DeGrasse Tyson thing, and the Orlando toy and comic con thing. I didn’t get get the two days off when Yaqeen did the schedule because he’s a Derp and does everything by hand. So I had two other days off, and then got the two off that I needed by dropping the shifts. So I ain’t done shit all week. I’m gonna continue that trend into tomorrow at the con.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Wings - band on the run

Katamari forever OST

Buffalo daughter - captain vapour athletes

Weezer - teal album

Nada surf - the weight is a gift

Basia Bulat - good advice

The Beatles - magic mystery tour

No joy - wait to pleasure

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“you’re not wide anymore; you’re skinny fat” - Yaqeen talking about me

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.24.19

Been on the pen/flower pretty solid since October when I got back from Alaska. Hell, even Alaska I was on the wax daily.

I guess I’ve been medicating myself.

Working on a sketch. I missed a couple days but I did one last night also:

Ok and here’s today’s:

I’m trying to find my groove with what I want to do with all these sketches. Basically I’m just sketching shit I see.

Sketching? Drawing? I don’t even know what to say here haha.

And I made another

—-

Going to see Neil DeGrasse Tyson tonite. This will be the third time I’ll have seen him.

I was hoping Axxxxx would be in the mix at this point because she was with me the first two times. Now, if I hadn’t have fucked up recently, she probably would be with me tonite. Goddammit me. So, my one and only boy Tobin is gonna come with me.

It’ll be nice because we haven’t seen each other in a hot minute. Ever since he got that girlfriend of his haha. Now they are in that ‘up each other’s ass’ phase.

Update: it would seem Neil will not be speaking tonite after all. Amidst recent allegations in the last few months, he postponed/canceled his shows: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.orlandoweekly.com/Blogs/archives/2018/12/13/neil-degrasse-tyson-cancels-orlando-appearance-following-sexual-misconduct-accusations%3fmedia=AMP%2bHTML

So that is sad fucking news, especially since I’m finding out today and not a month and a half ago. I mean I knew about the allegations but didn’t think it would come to this.

Another thing that chapped me is that Aaron Tobin fucking bailed on me before I found this out. Granted I only asked him yesterday but damn he seems to let me down a lot when there’s a specific date and time involved.

—/

I put my paper money and coin collection in these plastic inserts

Now the only thing that blows about these inserts is that the tops don’t seal, so this shit has to be flat or upright at all times. This isn’t too bad for the paper money but clearly there could be an issue for the coins. I later got a three ring binder to stick the inserts in.

Also I took pics of all the packages received today. Mostly records.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Weezer - teal album

Veil of Maya - false idol

Black octopus lipstick project - foam party

The octopus project

CSS - Cansei de Ser Sexy

OCEANLANE - crossroad

The Vienna philharmonic - Beethoven’s 5th symphony

No joy & sonic boom - ep

Teddybears - soft machine

Watching:

Rick and Morty season 3 blu ray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Weezer black album vinyl pre order (2 colors)

Weezer black album cassette pre order

Packages received:

Lots of records from joyful noise

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.23.19

The first Amanda messaged me today accusing me of stealing her loop station. I never took the thing at all. Haven’t even thought of the thing for years. She said she is gonna to file a report and mention my name to the police.

I don’t know what her deal is.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

WHY? - sandollars ep

Marijuana deathsquads - oh my sexy lord

STNNNG - empire inward

Vaz - necessary, pt. 2

Alias & doseone - less is orchestra

The octopus project

Peter Adams - the spiral eyes

Teddy bears - soft machine

Gnarls Barkley - st. Elsewhere

Veil of Maya - false idol

Mary Hopkin - post card

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

“Hey if a serial killer/murderer/etc fits the profile exactly but has never killed, what does that make them ?” Me to Mxxxx

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.22.19

Wish I could eat chips and get fat right now.

I went a million places today. The altamonte mall. Starbucks. These two were part of a date with Mxxxx, who I really enjoyed hanging with. She is married and its all legit. Like they both see other people and shit. So this could be good for me.

Then did the white girl tour to tj maxx and Ross. Also before that early in the afternoon after Mxxxx I went to bright light books.

Went a little overboard on buying shit today. Oops.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Fail better heal faster

The octopus project

American football - LP3 pre release song

Wings - wings over America

Status quo - rocking all over the world

Xavier Cugat jungle drums

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Bright light books:

Art toy picture book

Avocado cookbook (for Mxxxx)

Wings: wings over America vinyl record

Omg thrift

These weird soft vinyl Snow White dwarves figures

Clear makeup bag with

Kay Johnson vinyl record (with writing on the cover, a dedication to two ladies named carol and Donna)

Ross

NASA shirt

Super NES controller shirt

Super Mario shirt

TJ MAXX

Vaporwave lookin Tokyo shirt

Vaporwave lookin eyes shirt

Marilyn Monroe skeleton with hair shirt

Black stretch pants 34 inch waist for the first time whoop!

These fake ass sweat pants

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“When I try to be clear with you, I only end up being see through” -American football

Quote of the day:

“When I put my Makeup on, I take so many selfies” - male barista at the Starbucks by the Altamonte mall

“My dad was awesome. He loved pistachios and Star Wars. Only imparted one of those loves onto me. He is no longer with us, but his memory lives on through red pistachios that also no longer exist.” - Mandyism

“The problem with that idea is that I don’t have a penis. I’m sorry. It wouldn’t be a fair game.” - Mandyism

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.21.19

The girl who works here only a couple days a week, Ebony, just took a tour of the inner workings of my storage space. This was her asking if she could look at my stuffs.

Today’s and yesterday’s sketch:

This of course being Buff Monster and Frank Kozik inspired; and my Bose sound speaker I’ve been doing and my Dunkin’ Donuts coffee. Oh and the motorcycle license plate from Alaska. I had a Tupperware full of em mixed, here’s the reference:

And then this was me and my McNugget kick of course. A packet of mayonnaise and a vinyl record, and the remote to the tv

—/

Spent a good chunk of the day chatting with some potential dates. Mostly with a girl named Mxxxx, who is in a consensual non-monogamous marriage. She has kids also. It’s weird because she seems really into me and we are meeting tomorrow at 12:30pm. I’m excited to see what comes of this.

-//

I’m so excited about finding this Picasso print at goodwill today:

Here it is hung up

And here it was right before I stuck it in the car to take it home.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Mineral - one day when we are young

Wizo - uuaarrgh!

Beck - morning phase

MF DOOM - operation doomsday

Tame impala

Sheena Ringo (as suggested by Ebony who works at public storage)

The octopus project

Tame impala - lonerism

Astronautica - Gemini

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV:

Did a nice glam on ALC also

Purchases:

Bougie goodwill off Orlando ave in winter park:

Pocahontas toy

Assorted comic books

Picasso framed print

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Steady like a tricycle”

“Hoes get ripped off like Nicorette”

“Every day feels like an off day, with Ferris bueller”

mf doom

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.20.19

In line at Animal Kingdom helping my boy Orlando get in with his family.

I’m parked in giraffe 41-49

It’s way too early for me to be awake.

And I have to work. Aaaand I’m covering some lunch shift for my other boy Tom who has been feeling ill.

—//

Did the animal kingdom thing.

Did the afternoon lunch work thing.

Got called off for dinner because it was slow apparently.

Came home and let the roommate use her own car that I’ve been renting weekly.

—

Still working on cleaning and bagging those 45s my mother left to me by way of Danielito

—

So, I would say it’s time for me to maybe make a shortlist of women I’m dating/working on dating. I’ve got a few hat I’ve closed already and some still in the works so let’s see here:

(shortlist omitted)

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Lying about my age online

Notable places visited:

Animal Kingdom

Listening to:

The octopus project - hello avalanche

Hey Mercedes - ep

Hey Mercedes - everynight fireworks

No doubt - tragic kingdom

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

McNuggets

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.19.19

The last couple nights in a row, Yaqeen has called me and asked specifically what I have done to further the business, Deep Space Ventures. This is good and bad that the has asked me. Bad because I haven’t done jack shit; good because he is holding me accountable. And it is giving me a little hurt to not do anything. So I will have to forge ahead. He is trying to better himself and make me be better too. Good shit.

—-

I go to Dunkin’ Donuts just about every day to get a coffee. I stare at these fucking donuts and contemplate ordering a dozen and saying fuck all to my diet.

The moment had already passed.

I have to say I feel like I’m doing ok with this ketogenic diet.

—

Just saw a new white Honda Accord. Or was it a civic? Either way it reminded me of the second Amanda. Miss that chick too.

Remind me to tell you about the second Amanda sometime.

Sketch of the day:

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

The second Amanda

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

The octopus project - hello avalanche

The octopus protect - one ten hundred thousand million

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Action figures

Lyric of the day:

“For all we know, these days are all numbered But things could get better I know Cause I'll be the first and the last one to go Lord it's a cruel, cruel world For all we know These days are all numbered And things will get better I hope Cause I'll be the first and the last one to go Lord it's a cruel, cruel world without love”

- further seems forever

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.18.19

Sketch of the day: I was doing laundry at a mat on Mills right there by colonial. The 7-Eleven recently closed down after being there for fucking ever. So I sat there in between the wash and the dry.

I don’t know what I’m hoping to accomplish with these sketches other than practicing. I would like to get to a decent level.

Something to do while I’m alive.

It’ll come in handy when I start making the toys also. Good stuff for cardbacks

—

Donated some more shit. Slowly clearing it out. Gonna list some

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Fail better heal faster

ALL - problematic

Rex Orange County - apricot princess

Mineral - the power of failing

Wings - Venus and Mars

Sparklehorse - it’s a wonderful life

J Dilla - welcome 2 Detroit

JJ DOOM - Key to the kuffs

Duendita - direct line to my creator

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Packages received:

Mineral 25 years and new single

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Slap my face, just to feel” - Jimmy Eat World

“May all your days be gold my child” - Sparklehorse

“Come my beautiful alien, touch me with your light” - Weezer

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.17.19

Sketch of the day locked in; I did Orko from masters of the universe, from the action figure I found yesterday:

And of course the source material

So I’m on my way to sketching I suppose. Leveling up my art abilities?

—

Minus the bear farewell concert:

My brother and I caught MTB on their farewell tour in Tampa back in November I think it was? I’ll have to check the date.

Anyway it was nice to spend time with him at a concert out and about. It was part of my attempt to stop being a dead beat sibling.

He and I have seen them numerous times over the years.

—

I ReDennised Andrea Zimmerman just now. Remind me to go and append the list. Stuck on I-4 traffic on the way home from her place.

My exit was closed for construction so I had to take a big ass detour. I dint even care but I thought it was notable.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

J Dilla - donuts

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Quasimoto - the further adventures of lord quas

AJJ - bible 2

Wings - at the speed of sound

Ok go - ok

Trent reznor - bird box original score

Ok go - oh no

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Wheat grass juice powder

Boston market

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.16.19

The fucking stench of fake buttered popcorn. The Altamonte Springs mall. This is my current hip spot to hang out alone at.

Escape as a coping mechanism.

I pretend I’m just this guy who goes through life as an observer. Which I’m not really too far from pretending lately.

—-

You only ever see kids with short haircuts. Short little asshole haircuts.

—/

“Found a couple discounted figs,

Sat in the massage chair with no massage,

Renamed all the restaurants in the food court 'sugar',

Decided I want subscriptions to art and toy themed magazines,

And coffee. “ - excerpt of a text from Cxxxxxxxx asking me how the mall was.

—-

Sketch of the day is done:

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Bomb the music industry - adults

Bomb the music industry - get warmer

The arrogant sons of bitches - The arrogant sons of bitches!

Fail better, heal faster

Deftones - gore

The strokes - is this it

Jaylib - champion sound

In my room Apple Music playlist

Favorites playlist Apple Music

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/cucumber/lemon juice/stevia drink also been adding carrot and beet lately

Starbucks venti cold brew with heavy cream and an espresso shot

Chicken nuggets from McDonald’s

Cauliflower Mac and cheese I made

Top shoulder loin

Shrimp on top

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

Super 7 Masters of the universe action figures:

Orko

Evil-Lyn

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Mold and nice and stolen bikes

And a van everyone wants to break in to” - slumlord by bomb the music industry!

“Well I heard that you found somebody else

At first I thought it was a lie” - the 1975

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.15.19

Fake funny depression. Meme depression. People taking some dark shit and slapping an out of context caption and making light of it.

It’s not the worst idea.

Yeah everything is shit sometimes but do I want to off myself because I don’t have a pile of money to sleep on?

The answer is hell to the no.

—-

Yaqeen set it up last night so I didn’t have to work today. Corporate is in town and I’m just avoiding it all haha. Next few days off also. So that’ll take care of that.

What I need to do now is attempt to pick up at Yamasan just to have a couple extra bucks.

Just spoke to tobin briefly; he is definitely up his girlfriends ass haha. I’m ok with it. I suppose it’ll do some good for him seeing as it’s been forever since he’s: a)had a girlfriend b) gotten laid on the reg.

Also spoke to Frank; Microchip passed away very recently. His dog of 13 years or so. Back when Daylight District was still in effect.

Remind me to tell you about when I was in bands.

—-

Naomi Singleton ‘broke up’ with me today. We only met the one time. After months of talking. She didn’t like being deceived by my fake age on Okc. Also she claims she broke out in cold sores after seeing me and kissing me. I’ve never had a single sore anywhere so unless I’m some wild carrier, she is mistaken.

Her perception is her reality however. And I did burn her with the age thing.

I’m considering putting my age to normal age.

—

Made a first sketch today. The storage space wall and the table with some shit on it

So hopefully I can try to do one a day for fun. I went to Michaels as well and picked up a few gel pens.

Remind me to tell you where all my art supplies are. (Spoiler alert; they’re being held hostage by Axxxxx if she hasnt chucked em out. If anything she’s probably assimilated them into her own art shit.

—-

Just saw a hotpot place I’ve never seen before here on kirkman. Instantly thought of going there with Axxxxx. I miss her.

—

Went on a date

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

Spoke to Frank about letting him know what I’ve been up to

To discuss still:

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Ale house in Kirkman for a date

Listening to:

PUP - PUP

PUP - the dream is over

PUP - kids (single off the new record)

Deadmau5 - for lack of a better name deadmau

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

First Astronomical Velocity - galaxy one

NOFX - punk in drublic

NOFX - Pump up the Valiuum

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

THE NEW PUP RECORD!! preorder

A couple books from brightlight books

Van Gogh in Arles

Knuckleheads graphic novel

The 100 best business books of all time

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“The universe is unforgiving and a dick

So we’ll do our best to live” - fail better heal faster

“ You know I’ve never been good at anything

Except for fuckin up and ruining everything” - PUP

“We’re on an ultralight beam

This is a god dream” - Kanye West, life of Pablo

Quote of the day:

“I can turn you into poetry

But I can’t make you love me” - fragment 5, weatheredwritings

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.14.19

Tokyo Elvis, who is one of my best friends, Frank Friend, who I have played in multiple bands with since we were 16-17.

He wants me to undertake the tasks involving getting him booked in town and out.

We’ve decided that the Comic-Con circuit would be a good fit for him. Also it would be for me as well in terms of getting a booth for the paulsstoragespace shit.

So I’ve started the process of emailing various cons in town coming up

—

Just saw a guy throw a rubber hammer at a peacock. A sentence I never thought I would say.

—-

Like dead glow worms falling slowly through oil

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Bomb the music industry - vacation

Fail better, heal faster

Alpha male tea party - droids

Just friends - nothing but love

Just friends - rock 2 the rhythm

Cornelius - point

Walter Ferguson - Babylon

Darwin Deez - 10 songs that happened when you left me with my stupid heart

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Sleeves for paper money

Sleeves for coins

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“In truth, December destroyed me. January crushed me By February, I was not myself March rolled in like beatings and rolled out like a bear hug In April I stared out the window for a fucking month I don't want October. I don't want November I don't want to feel those crippling blows That I can't explain to myself, my friends or you So I soften them with hours of Nintendo”

-bomb the music industry

“Loving you required ammunition” - Darwin Deez

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.13.19

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Killer Bee - Venus

Steffaloo - heart beats

Lone - reality testing

Fail better, heal faster

Watching:

Ready player one

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

FFXIV

Purchases:

100 record sleeves for 7 inch records

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I came here with hope and I left with a smoking habit” - fail better, heal faster

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.12.19

Spoke with yaqeen at ihop last night. He is trying to become the assistant general manager at STK. He was speaking to a couple of the top servers and more specifically Rob C, and rob was telling Yaqeen to cut ties with being friends with servers and more specifically me.

Now yaqeen and I are boys at this point. So it ain’t happening. But it does sting a little to hear that I’m not very respected in that sense.

—

Made cauliflower Mac n cheese. It was pretty tasty for sure. Nice and Keto friendly.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

Emailed a few venues concerning playing:

Herohype:

Emailed on 01.12.19

https://www.herohype.com

Omni fandom expo

Emailed on 1.12.19

http://www.omniexpo.com

MyCon

https://mystic-con.com

Emailed on 01.12.19

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

The presidents of the United States of America - S/t

The presidents of the United States of America - II

The cardigans - first band on the moon

Fail better, heal faster

PUP - the dream is over

Serengeti - Dennis 6E

Ricky eat acid - talk to you soon

Rozwell kid - precious art

Dorothy ashby - Afro harping

Serengeti - kaleidoscope 2 ep

Serengeti - Dennehy

Atmosphere - sad clown bad summer

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/cucumber/lemon juice/stevia drink

McDonalds 20 nuggets and a large Diet Coke ( this is the last time I swear )

Cauliflower ‘man n cheese’ that I made

Playing:

FFXIV - got ALC up to 50, working on getting LTW up to 50 also

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Superstar, I tried to educate your childish heart” - the cardigans

“You said it best when you said I’m a mess” - Rozwell Kid

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.11.19

Sitting here in Disney springs. I got here with an extra fifteen minutes or so; got a coffee and now I’m sitting on a bench watching people and life go by.

Picking out the weirdos and watching them. And the eccentric girls, for some reason they just appeal to me so hard, more so than conventional hot girls.

I need to make a move.

—-

After hours. Waiting on yaqeen to show up at this Ihop. He and I haven’t had one of these in a while. Hopefully he shows up haha. He said his phone was dying and he would meet me inside.

What i did toward the business today:

Listening to Tony Robbins power to influence

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Ihop with yaqeen

Listening to:

Fail better, heal faster

Angelo De Augustine - tomb

Bomb the music industry - vacation

1997 - a better view of the rising moon

Jeff Rosenstock - we cool?

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Tobacco - sweatbox dynasty

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Been on a huge chicken nugget for McDonald’s kick. Large diet cokes also. While they aren’t totally killing the diet, it’s probably not the best.

Tasted the Scallops special from work

Playing:

Purchases:

From fye all 75% off

Star Wars black series - Poe Dameron

Star Wars black series - Constable Zuvio

Pulp Fiction - Butch Coolidge, 8 inch tall approx

Super 7 Alien M.U.S.C.L.E. mini figs

From barnes and noble:

The new issue of Juxtapoz featuring Kaws on the cover

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I wanna move to Japan

And maybe I’ll understand

What to do with my life” - fail better, heal faster

Quote of the day:

“I don’t want it now, I want it right now” - Robert Davis GM STK

8 ball questions and answers:

“Is Axxxxx gonna come back to me at some point?”

“Yes”

Hashtags:

01.10.19

I’m on fucking autopilot. Just coasting through my days. Get back on track you asshole. Don’t be an old server. Have more than one income. Get some fucking momentum going.

How do I do this? What is my leverage to change? What will happen if I don’t do this?

I need to stir up some hurt within myself.

—-

How to innovate my way out of this? This place gives me no joy and therefore I am not giving it the attention it deserves.

—

I’ve been sent to Starbucks by Greg the manager to get a hot chocolate for a guest. I’m on a party upstairs and I won’t be missed. He gave me his debit card. I flirted with the girl who took my order. She was receptive.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Coheed and Cambria - good Apollo, I’m burning star IV

1997 - a better view of be rising moon

Cashmere cat - 9

Tony Robbins - the power to influence

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

PUP - the dream is over

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.09.19

What i did toward the business today:

Didn’t do a goddamn thing. Need to get on it

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

Worked on the spam email

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Keep Shelly in Athens -

Death cab for cutie - transatlanticism

Weezer - pacific daydream

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

Wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I wish the world was flat like the old days

And I could travel just by folding the map” - death cab for cutie

“This is the sound of settling” - death cab for cutie

“‘Perfect’ always takes so long, because it don’t exist” - Jeff Rosenstock

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.08.19

Last night we had the STK makeup Christmas party for all the day-one-er’s. I almost didn’t go because I feel semi depressed and don’t wanna do shit all.

So we went and it was small but lost of the OG hang was there. Yaqeen of course and the lot.

We all just hung out drinking and roasting the shit out of each other.

Yaqeen and I are the roastmasters. He and I started this shit as a nice way to keep morale in the building at STK. And boy has it worked nicely.

Yaqeen told me the whole time I was away in Alaska that he kept the roasts alive. And my memory as well haha. Those were his words.

So, every day is now an HR nightmare in the building but no one seems to mind at all. I work the raunchiest coolest people ever. I would hang out with any of them outside of work.

So yeah the roast is strong with all of us. I swear if we all quit the restaurant biz and write comedy, we could get famous.

So as roastmasters, Yaqeen and I are the only two who can promote any of these jabronis trying to level up. They gotta be coming correct on the daily with hot roasts. And then when they fire of a real hum dinger of a zinger, based on the laughter of yaq and myself and any audience in attendance, that person will be leveled up immediately.

It’s fun. I love playing games all day every day.

—-

Been burning oil and smoking flower every day since I’ve been back to Orlando.

I don’t want to say it unmotivates me because I do get things done, just at a slower pace. I’m on weed time.

—

I’m hanging with Cxxxxxxxx outside of this McDonalds here:

228 S Orlando Ave

Maitland, FL 32751

United States

Called her up randomly to see how she was. Her stomach is tied up in knots over a boy she is also seeing.

You know, I’ve evolved into this person who isn’t jealous and just experiences women/ people as they are. I always say that some of my best relationships are been non-relationships: people I see when I see em, and we are both ok with it.

I don’t know how I got this way but here I am.

Where did I go askew with the way I view relationships? And by that I just mean the non traditional way people view things.

To be discussed later I suppose.

So yeah Cxxxxxxxx is soaring for food from McDonalds.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Where did my weird view on relationships come from?

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Fail Better, heal faster

Weezer - death to false metal

The strokes - room on fire

HUM - you’d prefer an astronaut

Maritime - we the vehicles

Fishbone - give a monkey a brain and hell swear

Living colour

Portishead - third

Watching:

Johnny mnemonic

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“If I am feeling wacky, I think I might

Drink a quart of vodka

Spend the night down in the gutter” - Weezer

“What if the day had stayed in bed?” - Foo Fighters

“All the boys with directionless hair are rough

Languorous girls in undertaker makeup” - maritime

“The busy sisters stunning, won’t she be stunned

By the infinite parade of punk rock t shirts” - maritime

Quote of the day:

“Electrons take up less space, so..” - Cxxxxxxxx’s roommate on digitizing pictures

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.07.19

Becoming awesome.. hmm I still haven’t done that yet. Havent been doing much of shit lately. How do I get back on track?

The answer is to just do the damn thing.

whats my motivation? Good question to ask.

I don’t want to be an old server. And its weird because chronologically I am 38 but I don’t feel like that. A bit odd I suppose to think about.

so, whats the fix? Slowly work on becoming awesome. By the time I know it ,i’ll be there. But this is only going to come about through working every day toward things. I tell people all the time to just get 1% better every day, and here I am not doing that.

I need to implement all the advice I’ve been handing out.

That being said, what can I work on today toward becoming awesome?

What are some things I want to accomplish? Well lemme refer myself to the giant 18 month plan I have set up

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Being a weed head

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Serengeti - kaleidoscope 2 ep

Fail better, heal faster - s/t

Panuccis pizza - don’t tip the delivery boy

Panuccis pizza - All of my friends are familiar and the steps I took to realize this

Tigers Jaw - s/t

Halsey - Badlands

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Apple cider vinegar shot

wheat grass juice powder

Kale/spinach/radish/parsley/celery/lemon juice/stevia drink

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“I fell in love with your face so much, that it behooves me to look away” - Serengeti

“You can take what’s in my head; I don’t want it” - Fail better, heal faster

Quote of the day:

"Vision without execution is hallucination" - Thomas Edison

“Stop selling: start solving and serving” -

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.06.19

I keep trying to order the Downward is Heavenward vinyl reissue but it sells out immediately. Short story is, it’s just the singer from the now defunct band HUM, is releasing the reissue in pieces, cause he’s just one guy.

—-

Bagged up the Star Wars power of the force cardbacks in clear pages for a three ring binder

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Cky - the Phoenix

Ozma - Pasadena

Chrome sparks - goddess ep

HUM - downward is heavenward

Jeff Rosenstock - worry.

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“You can’t exist In the world, without being a part of the world, and somehow that’s comforting, when you’re not where you want to be.” -ozma

“And she got me high,

And I barely noticed there were tears in her eyes.

And I miss you less and less every day,

It’s true the whiskeys gone and washed you away” - Margot and the nuclear so and sos

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.05.19

So I’ve been in Orlando for a couple months at this point. Back from my 6 month detour to Alaska.

Feels like I never left.

I don’t know if that’s a good statement or a bad one.

—

Bagged up some Buff Monster mini ice cream toys today. Been working on getting everything in plastic bags. Also I will start to labelling shit I want to get rid of with prices.

This is a little momentum toward having a booth at a con somewhere.

The real

Momentum would be to get a list of cons and then start spamming them for Frank and Tokyo Elvis and also for myself

—

Right, so coming back to Orlando. Not bad but it’s just me back in the same groove.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Toadies - rubberneck

Weezer - Pinkerton

Weezer pacific daydream

Queens of the Stone Age - songs for the day

Soundgarden - down on the upside

cky - infiltrtate destroy rebuild

Watching:

The Crow on bluray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Through the ages, we got stupid, and now we must repent” - Toadies

“She never gets wet; she smiles and it’s a rainbow” - Ben folds

“I thought it less like a lake and more like a moat” - death cab for cutie

“These things don’t belong

On my list at all” - cky

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.04.19

So I’m working last night (At STK if no one has been following) and I get a text from Naomi Singleton (now this is not the same Naomi who is Axxxxx cousin who I was messaging and Axxxxx got wind of it and ended things with me once again)

She was in Disney springs. I work in Disney springs.

So she hits me up asking what I’m doing after work; I say probably heading home, and she goes: orrrr you can hang out with me in Disney springs.

So we met for the first time, right in front of STK, by the bridge.

Very nice chemistry.

So we walked through the springs a little. Hugged and held hands. I sat her down on a bench behind house of blues

—-

What makes me follow the rules one day and disregard them the next?

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Weezer - Hurley

Foo Fighters - there is nothing left to lose

Local H - as good as dead

Local H - hey, killer

Watching:

22 jump street on bluray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Hang on til the break of the day” - Weezer

“I’m falling in love.. what was your name?” - Weezer

“Lately I’ve been feeling better

Wish I could stay sick with you” - Foo Fighters

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.03.19

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Listening to:

Bombadil - hold on

Watching:

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.02.19

Tina Watkins comes back tonite. I hope she’ll let me use her car carte Blanche. She is defiantly motivated by money so an extra hundo a week should do the trick.

So, however long it takes for me to get my income tax money back, I’m getting a vehicle. It blows not having one.

—-

Taking a break from the space for food and mail and maybe big lots for some shit

—-

Moved some good stuff around in the space. Those three bookshelves (one of the four didn’t make it) are really helping me maximize the Howard space in there.

—

I have to leave to pick Tina up now from the airport. Well, it was nice having the place to myself.

—-

So I sorted the car out with Tina, I’ll pay her and will use the car as I have been. Once I get that income tax return I’m gonna get a vehicle dammit.

Bagged up what loose Dunnys I had in a Tupperware

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Jason’s deli

Big lots

My storage space of fucking course

Listening to:

Jeff Rosenstock - worry

Cosmo’s midnight - what comes next

Scott pilgrim vs. the world original score

Red animal war - breaking in an angel

Bjork - post

Bjork - debut

Chrome sparks - chrome sparks

Fishbone - gift a monkey a brain and he’ll swear he’s the center of the universe

Watching:

Trainwreck on Blu-ray

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Sandwich bags for toys

Irving stickers

Packages received:

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“born as a data mine for targeted marketing, no one will listen up until you become a hashtag or a meme” - Jeff Rosenstock

“Let’s just drink and fuckin be alive, not just survive” - NOFX

“Give me something beautiful; I’ll believe your lies” - Red Animal War

Quote of the day:

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

01.01.19

Made out with a girl from my table last night. She was 23 I believe. She was with her parents and already drunk due to New Year’s Eve festivities. She and I were vining to the point where I caught her coming out of the bathroom and asked if she wanted to kiss at 12. She said she was trying to get a kiss right now, and then we did. And it was pretty on all night after that. A few more random stolen makeouts, and then got her number before we left. She was gonna ditch her parents at some point and wait for me after work, but surely she passed out. Let’s hope I hear from her today.

—-

“I don’t even have an emotional attachment to that particular Nintendo” - me on a garbage Nintendo I just donated.

—-

Holy shit I’m leaving target and can smell the Pizza Hut style pizza they got going on in there and it’s really making me crave it. This keto shit has been going on for two and a half months at this point. Maybe I organize some manner of cheat meal.

—

Seeing Galina at the hospice her father is. It won’t be long for him now.

—-

Cxxxxxxxx came over tonite. Haven’t seen her since before Christmas. I gave her her birthday present that I picked up for her. We hung out at ale house for a drink and then came back this way.

What i did toward the business today:

What I did toward managing Tokyo Elvis:

To discuss still:

Back to Orlando

Becoming awesome

the ‘roast’ culture Yaqeen and I cultivated to keep morale up

Managing Tokyo Elvis

Escape as a coping mechanism

Minus the bear farewell concert

Sleeping on couches when under emotional distress

“Inventory” night

10 second romance (rearview mirrors at red lights)

Memories created from memory (instead of what actually happened)

Making peace with Al Ruiz (the back story)

Axxxxx reaching out and then me blowing it (again, but not really because I wasn’t trying)

24 hour romance (bumble and tinder and okc)

Notable places visited:

Target haha. Too high and only got a couple random things.

Listening to:

Hum - you’d prefer an astronaut

Swervedriver - mezcal head

Watching:

Scott Pilgrim vs the world

Reading:

Eating:

Playing:

Purchases:

Stranger things action figure on discount

Scott pilgrim on Blu-ray

BAMF score (I had a $75 store credit from trading in some Star Wars shit earlier last week):

Star Wars Han Solo vintage action figure

Ultraman fig

A couple Japanese older model kits

Packages received:

Star Wars power of the force bulk cardback set

eBay obsessions:

Lyric of the day:

“Every color mixed together

Will make another, in my reality” - Basenji

Quote of the day:

“You punched me in the boob; prepare to die obviously” - Scott pilgrim vs the world

8 ball questions and answers:

Hashtags:

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