#i guess ''make art to the best your abilities and try really hard but have fun and not make

[maretriarch]

tbf leaning into my perfectionism has only made me make better art and being lazy and low effort with it uh gets...lazy and low effort results. now do 99% of things ever get done? no. but that one percent is better than the wide swarths of garbage I was able to finish for years

[nathandrakeisabottom]

Headcannons about them with an anxious SO? Love your stuff x

Thank you, friend! Now, in full canonical honesty, I don’t believe that either Nathan or Sam would be particularly good at dealing with their deeper anxiety, let alone someone else’s, let alone someone else’s who they loved dearly and would only be afraid to make it worse (that many crumbling bridges and a guy’s gotta if consider his only superpower is the ability to destroy everything he touches) for most of their young lives. 

However, I do believe that post-UC4 (perhaps a little earlier for Nathan), and a good dose of necessary therapy (paid for in pirate coins, of course)--- they’d be more than willing to finally take on the challenge. 

For themselves, and for the person they love more than anything.

Drakes with an Anxious S/O Headcanons

Nathan:

In his younger days, the prince of the awkward smile and half-hearted clap on the back. A pulley doll whose only catchphrases were “Man, that’s hard”, “Yeah. Yeesh.”, and “Soooo, I guess this would be a bad time for a joke, huh?”. Scurries to the bathroom as soon as they’re not in tears anymore, and stays there for as long as it takes to stop hearing the residual sobs.

However, his late 30s and 40s bring him a much healthier perspective (and therapy— Jesus, finally) and being the smarty pants he is, he passes on no opportunity to put his new skills and knowledge to use.

That playfulness and desire to find the lightness in even the hardest situations never leaves him at any age, though.

A panic attack? “‘Is something… wrong with you’? You realize you’re talking to the guy who accidentally destroys ancient temples for a living, as an archaeologist? And I still consider myself a not so bad guy. So in my eyes, you’re basically a lesser known Mesopotamian god.”

Got a bad grade? “A D in Psychometrics? I don’t know, sounds like they don’t know anything about math if they’re using a letter to grade you. Maybe they should go get their teaching certificates checked. Hey, how ‘bout I just draw you a PhD myself? You know I have an eye for art.” 

Dealing with shitty parents? Landlord? Roommates? Exes who won’t leave you the fuck alone? “What? That buffoon? Guy who can’t even spell their own name right? That bastard isn’t worth a thought of a thought of a thought in your head. Pretty sure they haven’t had a thought in their own head since 1996.”

As soon as his first wide-toothed smile is won, he’s leaning into his partner with a secretive smirk: “Ya wanna get the fuck out of here?” 

Because distractions always helped him before. 

Will act especially gentlemanly, and theatrically play it up, while taking their partner for a frozen yogurt, antique shop, Target trip, public park, laser tag (yes, really) decompress. Bows when he opens the car door for them. Pays for everything. Calls them ‘your majesty’ for the entirety of the excursion.

All he wants is to get them to smile. And he’s not stopping until he sees it. 

When the night creeps in and his S/O starts to lose steam, Nathan’s own worry grows more obvious, though he tries his best to keep it to himself. 

Watches them with wide eyes. Gives them space, but still asks every few minutes if they need a cup of water. No? Tea? Arnold Palmer? Popsicle? Massage? Hot Pocket? Sexy pillow fight? However many it takes to make his partner laugh again. But he fully means every offer he gives.

Says nothing as he helps them undress and into their PJs. Touches are tender and intimate, gently rubs their shoulders and neck. Never too hard, never too direct. Plays the friendly ghost and lets their partner take the lead, but never, ever just sits around to watch.

Makes them a beverage of some sort, even if they say no. Hot lemonade with honey is his personal homecure. Says yellow is a happy color, so it must be good for you.

And right before they turn the lights out, Nate timidly offers— with a shy, trying chuckle— if they want him to read them a bedtime story. 

Somehow shocked every time they say yes. Mumbles something self-derogatory about himself (“Ya know, not the best actor, but—” “Personally I think I have the voice of a dying goose, but—”) before sitting on the nearest surface and cracking open a book.

If he’s still feeling a little awkward, will uneasily ask if they wanna hear what he’s been reading lately, and will do so if asked— but really wants to read the pirate storybooks his mother read to him and Sam when they were kids.

It always made him feel better when the world felt too big, too scary, too cruel. 

So he wants to share it with the person he loves. 

He wants to share everything with the person he loves.

And without even asking, goes to the medicine cabinet and brings them a tablet of whatever they need when the anxiety gets especially bad, and says “I know, it’s scary. But we’ve been through scary before, right?” with a kiss on the cheek as they swallow it down with a sip of lemonade.

Lingers, eyes down, and vaguely nods to nobody as he stands and walks to the door.

“Want me… uh, want me to keep reading to you?” But he offers before he can even get past the door frame. 

“Do you want me to want you to keep reading to me?” 

And the last thing he wants to see is his love, alone. The idea of them crying beneath the covers because they were too afraid to burden him with it, too afraid to be seen. Everything he felt he had to do when he was 6 and his mother “passed”, age 9, 10, 11, 12 after a black eye, the words that his brain told him wrong: spoken aloud by the playground bullies he feared he’d never be stronger than. 

But he knew they were wrong. The bullies were wrong. The ones in his brain. The ones in theirs.

“Yes.” He replies without missing a beat. 

And he makes sure to hold their hand in his free one until the second they fall asleep… and a few hours after, just to be safe.

The next morning they fucking better expect breakfast in bed— and he maybe, just maybe, might even be willing to spring for McDonald’s, if that’s what they want. As long as they promise to eat actual fruit after. And hell, maybe even a vegetable or two when he makes dinner that night. Did you know that eating right and exercise are actually primary solutions to poor mental health—? That’s what Dr. Dorian said— No, potatoes don’t count as a vegetable— no, especially not if it’s fried— NO, FRENCH FRIES DON’T COUNT, BABY—

Sam:

Sam takes a bit longer to warm up to discussing anxiety than Nathan does, mostly due to struggling so deeply with it on his own. It’s not like prisoners (or Shoreline guards) made the most comforting companions. 

The better he could keep secrets, the less he could reveal, the safer he’d be.

So it makes sense that it’s both his greatest strength and weakness when it comes to emotionally turbulent times. 

In his younger, more avoidant years, he’d be the first to leave the room, leave the building, hell, sometimes even leave the city after a particularly heavy cry or confrontation with his then-partner. Only to come back the next morning and act like nothing ever happened. 

But now, he doesn’t run. After prison, after Rafe, after Madagascar, all he wants is to be allowed to stay. To be wanted to stay by someone who loves him. 

Is happiest to just sit with you in the silence. His biggest skill is his ability to weather the storm. And whether you need to scream bloody murder, or need to sit and decompress and just fucking feel, but can’t do it alone, Sam’s there. Listening. 

Once you’re done talking, he takes one last, long drag of his cigarette, stubs it out onto the pavement, and asks simply: “So do you want solutions… or something else, sweet’art?” 

You can see in his eyes— darting less than solid, certain against your own— that he really means it, in every way that he was too afraid to when he was younger.

The wonderful and terrifying thing about having anxiety while Sam is there is that it’s a vulnerable experience for the both of you. He’s learning, discovering, trying right along with you. And he may not be able to lift you up so easily, but he’ll be able to sink into the dark places with you, and not be afraid to see what’s down there. 

And maybe seeing someone he loves so deeply, sees as so beautiful, so smart, so kind, so wonderful, so absolutely perfect to him feel the same ways he does about himself… maybe it makes him think that he’s not as terrible as his brain tells him, either. 

Helps you take action by letting himself (finally) not be the smart one: “When ya… get like this, what do you usually do first, sweet’art? Paint me a pit’chure.” Gives you complete control, and smiles softly when you wipe your tears and the logical, the archaeological mind awakens. Mimics unraveling an ancient map when you begin to explain, and you inadvertently hiccup out a laugh. 

At times, it’ll feel like he’s trying to run again, but when he stands up and walks across the room— he always returns. This time with your favorite of his jackets, the denim one that smells like him even though he just cleaned it, and drapes it protectively over your shoulders. Clasps his palm at the back of your neck and rubs out the knot he always finds there. Smiles toothy and wide when your words are broken up by sighs of relief. Only to be filled once again with silence, gazes meeting sweet and safe. 

“Remember Indonesia?” He offers with a smirk, despite your furrowed brow.

“I guess? What about—?” 

“I read the runes’ instructions and ran us in circles all around Bali, only to reread the transcript and realized I got three letters completely wrong. J—V—A. Java. It was goddamn Java the entire time.” 

“Your point being?” 

He smiles and shrugs. Trying. Maybe he’s wrong, a foreigner in some ancient, uncertain land, but he tries.

“Sometimes our brains are just wrong.” He tries for you. “That’s all.”

You sniffle, and he leans in to press a prickly kiss to your cheek. His jacket is still warm from the dryer, wafting with the residual sting of cigarette, Old Spice Captain, cheap mouthwash, even cheaper aftershave, and something else completely unnameable. 

And maybe some others would think the scent appalling, but it’s the strangeness, the specificity, and yes, the stank— everything that makes Sam him— that makes you love it. Love him. The depth. The difference. 

The pain, and what he chose to do with it. 

Another kiss, this time down your neck. This time, the sigh of relief is his own.

What he chose to change it into. 

“So… any chance sex therapy might be a thing?” He asks grinningly.

“Why don’t we find out, ‘sweet’art’?”

[fixyourwritinghabits]

hello! not sure if this is a weird question, but I was wondering if you know a writing equivalent to how artists do drawing/painting studies of something they aren’t experienced with (backgrounds/faces/hands)?

my best guess would be something like doing really short stories that focus on sth the writer wants to explore, like a genre/character/dialogue? but I feel like the benefit of a study is referencing a photo or real life in order to make your art more convincing, whereas there isn’t exactly a ‘realistic’ standard for writing so you wouldn’t be able to evaluate your writing to it

So the experience you're looking for is basically "a college intro creative writing class" which is not very helpful, if you have limited resources and/or a horrible experience with college creative writing classes.

However. You can easily replicate this experience for yourself (or in a small group) by getting together and thinking about what kind of writing you would do in this sort of class. A rough summary of would cover:

Poetry - writing some poetry (even if you think it's terrible!) can help you narrow your focus on what words work best in a limited setting.

Fictional short stories with various POVs - 1st person, 3rd person, and even 2nd person short stories can help you flex your ability to tell a story from a different perspective.

Non-fictional short story - I won a small college award for writing about how much I hated working at McDonalds, lmao. Non-fiction might be hard if you've never tried it before, but it can really help you gain perspective on how to project your personal experiences into a work of fiction later.

You don't have to stick to what you think a college professor would like - you can also branch into fanfiction and drabbles, video game scripts, journaling and comics. There's plenty of 'writing class' books you can find second-hand store, online prompt generators, and free classes on YouTube such as Brandon Sanderson's lectures.

The most important thing when practicing your writing is scheduling time to review, especially if you're doing it on your own without feedback. Not only do you want to write things down, you want to take time to read back and reflect. What did you like about the last piece you wrote, and what did you not? Where would you like your skills to grow in (dialogue, description, themes) that you can work into your next project?

While you should push yourself out of your comfort zone (trying to write in the styles of authors that don't sound like you, poetry), don't drag yourself through weeks of doing something you hate. If something is not working for you, switching gears to something else is perfectly fine. On the other hand, don't give up on something just because it doesn't feel write. Like drawing hands, writing skills will get better with practice.

[satancopilotsmytardis]

"He thinks his instincts might make him explode from his joy and the purrs coming out of his chest when, halfway through the night, Shigaraki loosens up and pulses out the scent of his own contentment. It blankets the nest in the scent of summer rain and Dabi all but turns into a puddle."

Dabs is so messy in this, love it. If any of the league has been around cohabitating alphas and omegas before they're probably side-eyeing him so hard 

Side note how insane must dating shows get in the omegaverse 💀

"His mouth settles on his neck, licking and nibbling at the place where his glands should be strong-- and Dabi whimpers."

Swirling him around in a wine glass. Mm notes of insecurity. Delicious

"And since you're the only alpha around, and I don't want to be fucking myself stupid while everyone else is out on the summer camp job--" 

Lmao poor shig no wonder he wore a cage. Dabi cringes at the idea of being bonded, hides his growing affection with his weaker scent, really does not give him much hope at first

I love needy shig so much, and I like how rarely you write him, he deserves to be a special treat

The position in this is so good. I'm assuming it's based off that oxygen fanart <3 

"Knot me, please, want your cum in my cunt. Pump me full of your pups --"

Oh god that's what made him cum 💀 I'm imagining him clarifying later, "No I don't want pups, you just made me that horny"

You've given me such a soft spot for the pet name precious

"After the summer camp, during my next heat, mate me?" *insert honey, you got a big storm comin gif* 

it's okay guys, I wouldn't be shocked if you've already bonded without a real bite like Ujiko mentioned. If not, can't hurt to get to know each other a little more

We LOVE messy bitch Dabi!!!! He should be a conflicted over-emotional mess who has a hard time with regulation!!! It's as what was foretold in the texts!!!

A dating show in the Omegaverse would be WILD. Like the DRAMA??? Two alpha's going in for each other because one is a service/soft top the other thinks is an omega and the other is sadist dom that everyone thinks is a bratty omega with a complex. The producers not letting anyone hook up or do anything more risqué than kissing because if they did they might figure designations out. Betas being the ones who are the best at actually guessing what everyone's designations are and consistently demonstrating the best ability to connect with the others and form strong relationships because they've been socialized their whole lives to know that they will never be an alpha or omega's first pick as a partner because they can't satisfy their instincts. Everyone tunes in for a dating show but it ends up being a social experiment lol

Tomura was bound and determined to not do a damn thing that would cause pack instability and he was absolutely not going to mate Dabi without him wanting that, a week locked in a cock cage was a suffering he would happily endure! But God damn that man's ego was getting rocked at every turn from Dabi, like how do you recover from admitting you have a crush on someone who wants to use you as a dildo and then seems equal parts disgusted and amused by your crush? Devastating, but he persists!!!

Absolutely utilized reverse cowgirl because Oxygen has done a lot of art (both newer and older) in that position and it is delectable

Lol Shig knows he's sterile, and he'd get that Dabi was just trying to play to his instincts, if anything Dabi would laugh at him because that worked and Shig would be sitting there with his head in his hands for a few seconds out of embarrassment before he pins Dabi down and gives him like 6 more creampies murmuring in his ear how pretty he'd look carrying their babies until Dabi's instincts triggered and he was FURIOUSLY going around base baby proofing things KNOWING he was being fully irrational and that neither of them actually want kids, but they have to pretend that maybe they do because otherwise the rest of the League will catch onto their breeding kink

I'm so glad that "precious" has become a staple petname for my fics and you guys like it! I live my life waiting for a gollum comment every time I use it

Lol the funny thing is that they've BEEN mated!! For almost the whole story!! Like Dabi starts calling him his alpha during his heats almost immediately and it didn't take them fucking or anything! It just took Dabi trusting Shig to take care of him and Duster proving he would do that and both of their brains latched onto each other!! But they can be official soon, I imagine in a month or two (held off by the stress of being homeless again) they have their shared cycle, take their bites, and then realize literally nothing feels different and have to go back to the doctor and he's just like: You Stupid Motherfuckers

Thank you so much for commenting!

[mayordea]

songwriting with meiko 🎙️

i have a few things to comment abt this which will be isolated under the cut so the post doesnt get too bloated :] mainly small hcs about meiko/kaito/miku hhhh

an idea that briefly popped in my head when i was brushing my teeth that i did not want to let get away. it was ambitious and i liked the concept of using my hc'd versions of the younger crypton vocaloids (miku's beta design and meiko/kaito's v1 designs) interacting with each other, so i went for it. i designed the general vibe of the background in animal crossing, ol reliable for these kinds of things, since i knew i wanted to cram as much detail in the environment as i could. i made a post about it on my personal account here since i was quite proud of this build.

as i was decorating, i kept spontaneously making headcanons for the younger meiko/kaito/miku unit in order to understand how to populate their living space with accurate clutter. i ended up totally overdecorating the whole thing and only referenced a small portion of the interior (like, why'd i go so hard on thinking about the yard? thats just what happens when i try taking this route) but i did like some of the ideas i came up with to explain my decorative choices. here's just a ramble.

oh yeah i guess i should get something i mentioned in the tags of that art i made w all the crypton gang's "younger" versions out of the way: i hc the character vocal gangs' "younger" designs to be their "IF" or beta designs. and meiko and kaito's younger versions are their V1 designs, mainly inspired by how they appear in the earlier project diva games (every time i look at them i just see them as awkward teens still trying to figure out who they are lmao)

also mentioned there that sakine meiko and meiko are one in the same and the fanloid and vocaloid arent separate entities. sakine meiko was meiko in her early music career as a relatable teen pop idol, with the "sakine" family name being made up to create that image. once meiko grew into an adult, she put the persona behind and just went by meiko, and around that time she met kaito and theyd be musical partners for a while

meiko sort of adopts miku into their unit when she recognizes her potential and serves as a mentor to her after then. kaito is the same but acts more as a supportive guardian in comparison. rin, len, and luka would come along later of course.

yeah i really fuck with the idea of the crypton gang being a little family :] i think it's neat! and this art/animal crossing build was a fun way to explore that hc a little

meiko is a physical media fiend, especially for music. loves collecting cds and vinyls and the like; they're littered all over the house. loves rock music too

kaito on the other hand has a knack for gardening and tends to the very modest garden outside their house. also collects a lot of art he finds in thrift marts and such for novelty's sake

miku always dedicated herself to improving her craft and finding her voice thanks to the help of meiko. she was also kind of a nerd at this era. very serious and dedicated

these folks did not know how to clean shit up, everything left lying on the floor ends up being an intentional decoration (probably not clear in this but i did like scattering stuff around to the best of my ability in the AC build)

ummm that’s it for now i guess i had less than i expected? but i’m glad to get this down somewhere lol feel free to share your own hcs if you wish, i love hearing them

[clambuoyance]

Every time I see your art its like I can feel just how much you enjoy making it.

It has a lightness to it, like you're having fun and it's kinda infectious, so I get really happy too when I see it.

Oh I should probably throw a question in here: I love when you post a bunch of sketches all at once, do you plan your doodles ahead of time or do they just come naturally to you as you draw?

AAAH thank you so much! You wouldn't be the first person to describe my art as having a sort of "infectious" joy and it makes me really happy that it's what people think of when they see my art. I really do have fun making it which is why I think I've been able to avoid major art block for the most part or dwelling too much on the fact that I have a hard time getting finished pieces out sometimes

As for your question, I'll try my best to see if I can explain it lol. I guess the "planning" mostly consists of me getting inspired by something (usually a song) and it instilling a certain emotion or vibe in me that i then start to itch to capture in a visual art form.

Sometimes I'll be given a really vague blurry image in my head and go with that and decide to sketch it out with my hands to help me see that vision in my head clearly and I'll make a lot of changes etc etc ("that arm position didn't work" "let me try a different expression" "maybe the angle should be more dramatic"). Or sometimes if I want a clearer picture before I start drawing I'll listen to the song on repeat (and/or walk around in circles) until that Picture becomes less and less blurry and almost...tangible? Perfect 20/20 clarity happens very rarely tho and everytime it does I'm convinced something possessed me (and even then I still make changes on the fly) Sorry I'm explaining this so badly ToT i wish i could just show u my brain

If my mind was a library you would see stacks upon stacks of ideas I've held onto for years...some since 2016...but yeah I also tend to be spontaneous with it and draw a bunch of sketches at once before even "finishing" one --but at least it's out of my head and somewhere in the world!! And one day I'll probably go back and color it or whatever or remember I should post a collection of relevant doodles somewhere

Also one last thing maybe worth mentioning is that over the years my imagination was able to become clearer and my ability to draw what I see in my head also improved! As if the gap between worlds got smaller in a way--and this only happened because of how long I've been drawing that I've been able to build an arsenal of poses and expressions rules and have an easier time drawing. Which helped me be more spontaneous

One thing I do hope for is that I can at least sit through a few hours of learning to do bigger and neater composed pieces with backgrounds...so I can start doodling them more too lol

[azure-cherie]

𝑾𝒉𝒂𝒕 𝒂𝒓𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒆 𝒕𝒉𝒊𝒏𝒈𝒔 𝒚𝒐𝒖'𝒓𝒆 𝒅𝒐𝒊𝒏𝒈 𝒅𝒂𝒎𝒏 𝒓𝒊𝒈𝒉𝒕 𝒄𝒖𝒓𝒓𝒆𝒏𝒕𝒍𝒚

Pac Intuitive reading ♡︎♡︎♡︎

Use your intuition and choose one of the pictures above , take what resonates and leave the rest !

𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 1 ♥︎

You're working towards your goals so that you can lead a better life, someone here is a little bit frustrated with a feminine figure, but you wanna be so good and do the best so that the feminine figure is proud of you .

Someone here does really cool photography or maybe art , maybe you have submitted a portfolio as well , some of you are working on it , it will give fruitful results.

You're removing your throat chakra blockages and planning to speck up for the one in need , when younger you may have been shunned a lot now you are speaking up against those who did you wrong.

Someone learns martial arts here , or maybe weight lifting I guess , or maybe you exercise, recently you achieved a goal or managed to pull up a lot of weight.

You are decorating your room making it a sanctuary, that is so good ! A beautiful place gives us so much more creativity!

Some things you might relate to : Cola , faraway, dancing in the dark , retro , queen , monster, ping pong , interviews , double roles , Polaroid , heart eyes , rose blush , buildings, Aries , Scorpio in 2nd house , destiny , life was a willow and it bend back to your wind , paper cups , plastic dolls , wind chimes.

𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 2 ♥︎

You're studying and putting efforts day and night, an exam maybe coming up , you're going to ace it ! But hey please take care of your health you don't have to be so hard on yourself!

You are practicing journalling and trying to stay away from social media as much as you can which is great , you're curing addictions.

Some of you had anger issues or vengeance towards someone , you are understanding that the person is no longer your concern and you deserve the best .

Some of you are interested in the acting industry or modelling industry and you are practicing wholeheartedly for it . Someone here writes as well, maybe fan fics you're improving at it

You are accepting your sexuality, and letting go of guilt related to it , your sacral and heart chakra is in a healing phase .

Some things you might relate to : smiles , papers , coloured rooms, boxes , Darlin darlin stand by me , the colour purple, pride and prejudice, oath , light academia, money plant , island , dolls, fifth house stellium or Libra stellium, Birkin bag , chanel perfume , pearls , stuffed toys , pepperoni, burgers, delusion , fracture , mountains .

𝑃𝑖𝑙𝑒 1 ♥︎

Some of you are working on improving your spiritual abilities, Intuition, your trying to shift , your shifting will be happening if you keep putting efforts , do you own a shell keychain or something?

You're reading books to get smarter , not academic books but the ones to save yourself like "dark psychology" to save yourself from manipulation.

You might have been passive for a long time , now you are not taking actions but observing people around you so that you can get the best shot .

You're getting into your dark feminine energy, becoming coquettish, siren like . You are balancing your root chakra as well.

Some of you are doing charity or maybe helping your friends, feeding the poor or donating clothes , let me tell you, they are blessing you so much because of your kind heart .

Some things you might relate to : toxic boyfriend, bridges , tools , fire , thunder , potion, Fenugreek , horses , butterflies , prominent asteroid Neverland , Willy Wonka , sci-fi , retro futuristic aesthetic, sparkles , the colour turquoise, translucent, barista , crush by Richard Siken .

You know the only rule tell me if it resonates ꒰⑅ᵕ༚ᵕ꒱˖♡

Thank you so much have a beautiful day/night ahead ♡︎

[bhryn-art]

SHE LIIIIIIVES

Okay so there's been some time since I last used my Tumblr, and I guess we'd better chat - HI, how are ya? This will be a decent chat, I'll do us all a favour and pop it behind a careful little barrier so you can read at your leisure. Before that! WHERE AM I? Find me at these places: TWITTER/X: Bhryn BSKY: It's still Bhryn CARA: Take a wild guess - Bhryn Ao3 (it's ALL Fire Emblem not sorry!): Bhryn Astairre What's happening with Bhryn/Ferai? Well...

It's been a long time coming, but I think almost anyone who had been close to me has known this was going to turn up one day. And hey, I had a good long run. I never finished Endwalker. I got to around level 77? I think? And I just... didn't feel it anymore. I told myself I'd go back when my interest picked up. It never did. I instead became a lot more invested in other things, and took a huge break from everything to try dealing with my declining health. To that end; thank you, for all the wonderful friends I made on FFXIV, for the fun times we had. But it's time I moved on. I have no immediate or long term plans to return to FFXIV, and I wish everyone who still plays a great, fun time with the game going forward. I won't say for certain that I'm leaving, but I know for now, it's far back on the shelf for me. A large part in this is my decline in health. I'm currently bedbound - I wasn't a couple of years ago, but times change! You just have to roll with the punches. One of these is having a frankly rubbish laptop that wheezes when I play Content Warning and Lethal Company. I dread to think how on fire it would be if I tried even loading the FFXIV benchmark! I also made the choice to get a Steamdeck rather than a new laptop. This laptop still runs my art programmes and lets me write and talk to friends, so I don't need the upgrade badly (I say, side-eyeing the loud and grating noises it keeps making on waking up from sleep with nervousness). The other big punch is the worsening of my hands. Years ago I mentioned to my friends and followers that my EDS was never going to settle for just being a pain in my hip, knees, neck... any joint basically. EDS was always going to be a slow progression. I fought hard against it, and I'm still fighting! To the best of my abilities! But there came a point when finishing off a piece of work for a client, that I realised I simply didn't have the physical stamina or the dexterity in my hands/fingers to do long term brief work anymore. This loss of skillful motion has affected me playing games. I used to joke about having 'old lady reflexes' but honestly, I really do have them now! So I stripped back artwork to be 'just for me, just for fun'. The same for games. Anything that I cannot play well on a controller? Not worth it. I can play Ninja in ffxiv on a controller, but we come back to my Craptop Self Immolating if I tried. So what happens now to me? Now, I try and relax best I can (I caught the Rona four weeks ago, I'm still sore throat and itching in my chest/wheezing/terrible crackling in my chest) and work on my surroundings to give myself the best chance going forward to improve my life. This tumblr, when I made it, it was for me to play my FFXIV character. I have a couple of choices open to me, but I think I would like to change it completely over to an art and writing blog, just in general. To do that, I would have to go and take my username from my old blog and put it on this one. OR, I let this stay as an idle blog and dust off my old tumblr and move ahead with that. I'm still undecided! But, whatever I choose, I want you to remember; You're great. Be kind, do kind things, leave the world better than how you found it. You got this. You always did. With love; Me xxx

[wachtelspinat]

I've been in a rut as of late, and I really want to get better at form and anatomy. Your style is one of my favorite ones ever, what would you say were your biggest inspirations throughout the years?

hey, first of all i’m so very sorry for the late reply. hope you get to see this still since it’s been a while since you sent this ask... sorry

secondly, thanks a lot! i try to give some insights here, this question's always kinda hard for me to tackle because i'm having a hard time identifying my style and what makes it tick, idk... i guess it's a combination out of everything i like, starting from the artstyle of tf2 to various styles of my mutuals and people around here (but i think tf2, wanting to draw humans ever since i first laid eyes on tf2 and the cartoony artstyle of it all are my major fuels, ngl). 

as for anatomy and form: this is a matter i just recently pushed myself into because i felt really stuck in my ways. like... i never really did studies in my life, so when i wanted to draw i kind of had to count on it to ‘just work’, idk if this makes sense... i always felt like i didn’t actually know what i was doing there, and i worked with ref a lot (i would always recommend using ref, no matter what, what i want to say is that i realized i had not enough fundament to truly fool around in the way i liked to). and now that i started actually doing anatomy studies i feel so dumb because yeah. it IS making things easier x) i understand tho that for most it’s a motivational issue... you have to find a way to make it work for you. like doing studies, but implementing what you learned into a sketch of your blorbo, as an example.

as for resources, it’s hard to find good tutorials, mostly because the place is flooded with art bros trying to tell you “you don’t NEED anatomy and here is why” and then they make a sketch and you can SEE that they put SO MUCH ANATOMICAL KNOWLEDGE INTO IT. so there’s a lot of bs out there. there is good stuff out there tho, but it might take you a while to find what’s best suited for you. i could make a list of yt channels that really helped me but the thing is, everyone is at their own lvl and with different goals in mind, so i don’t think this would be very helpful.

what i can link you to tho are 2 videos that really opened my eyes in regards of a) finding your style and b) getting better at drawing a certain topic.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SLfH9yOGs3o - this video tackles the whole ‘finding your style’ topic. because i often give the tip that you don’t find your style, style finds you (and i still think that is in its regards correct, because you just get subconsciously influenced by the media you consume and like and your fave artists’ style’s if you really dig them) but the ability to actively WORK on your style is there. it’s just something you have to put a lot of work into. but we’ll never stop learning, so there’s that. (she describes it with her landscape drawings but really this works for anything... from dynamic linework to just trying to find the right energy in your pictures)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k0ufz75UvHs - this one really helped me getting over my fear of ‘drawing something ugly’ (big words from someone drawing ugly men as a hobby) but hear me out... because i have a weird brain that makes me recoil from something my mind thinks is ‘imperfect’ i really often get stuck with my art and either don’t experiment at all or get stuck with a sketch and spending hours on it trying to fix it... so approaching this matter like the video described just... melted that away. because when you draw 20 faces a day just telling yourself “NOBODY will EVER see this” you start loosening up... or at least i did. it’s also good for an analytical brain or people who strongly lean into that. this approach was especially nice while being stuck in an artblock... because i could easily just fool around and it kind of changed how i see doing art... like... nothing is ever perfect so i don’t have to make it perfect, i can analyze my art through a more neutral lense than my emotional attachment to it now... does that make sense?

last but not least, there are a ton of good resources out there for anatomical studies, my fave is still “anatomy for sculptors, understanding the human figure” by uldis zarins sandis kondrats.

SORRY THIS GOT A BIT LONGER BUT i put A LOT of thought into this as of late so yeah... maybe it’s gonna help someone too

[ceph-the-ghost-writer]

Strange: one of them suggests or introduces a new kink?

For whichever pair/group would have the most interesting answer?

From this ask game

Thought this was a good chance to see where Isaac's curiosity leads him sometimes.

Content Advisory: Sex/fantasy discussion, mind reading, sleep paralysis discussion, Catholicism and demon references, mentions of biting and bruising, suggestive touching, fade-to-black type ending

“Your thoughts are awful loud right now, bookworm. Penny for ‘em?”

Given how considerate Kinslayer usually was about not eavesdropping on his brain—or at least not bringing attention to the fact when they were—he really had to be projecting. Isaac shifted against the motel bed’s padded headboard, but the deposits of tension between his shoulder blades didn’t soften.

“If they’re that loud, don’t you already know?”

With his side nestled next to theirs, he caught the inhale of what would’ve been a sigh if it hadn’t been cut short halfway through. “Telepathy don’t work the same as opening your tab and reading a message. More like Frankensteining one together from an abstract art exhibit, snippets of diary entries, and heavily redacted psychiatric notes.”

“Oh. Well, sorry. I didn’t mean to distract you.”

“Bookworm…”

He could feel the weight of their gaze, like a cold hand pressed to his cheek. “Really. It’s not—”

“Isaac.” The stream on the holo he hadn’t paid attention to for the past thirty minutes suffered a sudden flickering fit and defaulted to an offline display image of a pristine seaside landscape.

He refused to look over and fall into the oblivion of their stare. “I…It’s embarrassing, okay? And maybe too personal. To ask you, I mean.”

Slowly, so he had time to protest or resist, Kinslayer pulled him over into their lap. Their longer legs penned his in on either side. The forearms pinning him to their chest could’ve been sculpted from wood, hard and smooth and unyielding.

“Look, I’m not trying to bully you into sharing. Don’t assume I won’t want to hear what you have to say, though. Especially when you’re not even the telepath here.”

Their voice flowed directly into his ear and trickled down through his ribs to pool, warm and heavy, in his belly. Isaac gulped and swallowed a repeat apology.

“I wouldn’t mind, er, sharing. I just, uh. Don’t know if I’d be prying.”

A low, quiet laugh made the puddle in his middle simmer. “Worried about hurting my delicate feelings, bookworm?”

“Something like that.” He knew they’d mentioned not being able to experience certain emotions anymore, but that didn’t make it fine for him to throw away all consideration.

“Well, the best way to find out for sure is to have a chat about it.”

They let him weigh his options in peace. It wouldn’t have been so bad, just falling asleep cradled against them like that. Assuming he could ignore the breath tickling his neck. Or the specter of his own cowardice hovering over him the entire time.

“It’s about your powers,” he said. “The sleep paralysis ones.”

“Do tell.”

“How do they…well, work, I guess?”

“Holy hell, bookworm. I know you love your job, but are you asking me for a lecture with slides?”

He slapped his hands over his face. “No! No. I mean, like, is it tied exclusively to you feeding? Can you use it whenever you want, or are there special conditions?”

“As long as I’m concentrating and there aren’t any particular wards keeping me out of a space, I can pop in and spook someone, sure. Can’t be driving or operating heavy machinery while my consciousness is astrally engaged elsewhere, of course. I don’t have to feed when I got someone on the hook, but you can bet on me wanting to. That satisfy your nerdy urges?”

Isaac picked at an emerging tear in the thigh of his jeans. “I’m not asking for research purposes.”

“Go on…”

“What I’m trying to get at is…would it bother you? To use your abilities in a way you normally wouldn’t?”

“Like how? Spit it out.”

His voice shrank with each word, but he didn’t stop until he’d said them all. “Like using them on me. Hypothetically. For, um…fun.”

He could practically hear the cold sweat welling up from his pores in the following silence. Nerve breaking, Isaac moved to twist around and get a look at their face, but Kinslayer stopped him by tightening their grip.

“Isaac.” A rumbling thread of a growl tickled his ear and added a rash of goosebumps under the clammy sweat. “Are you asking me to pin you to the mattress and have my wicked way with you?”

His mind suddenly had a lot in common with the holo’s standby screen. “I’m saying I want to discuss the possibility.” He gulped. “Can you…I mean…is that even something you can do when you’re, um, all shadowy?”

Their hands slid over the thin cotton of his shirt, tracing the gentle ripples of his ribs and coming to rest around his hips. “You’ve heard of incubi and succubi, haven’t you?”

His stomach flipped like a flapjack. “The sexy type of demons? Are those real?”

“Never met one, though I’ve been known to haunt the halls of monasteries and convents, breaking celibacy streaks once in a blue moon myself.” The tips of their fingers dipped just below his waistband, stroking his bare skin and further eroding his cognitive ability.

He clung to the lifeline of professional inquiry. “Is that where the stories come from? Psychic vampires putting the fear of eternal damnation into frustrated clergy?”

“Scaring them wasn’t the point. It was finding the ones who were conflicted. Or curious.”

“To devour their souls?”

“To get off. Not everyone is ready to leap into my metaphorical maw, bookworm.”

Well, he’d already survived that once, in any case. It had to be less harrowing when negotiated beforehand. And maybe with a safe word handy. “So…how would a scenario like that work?”

“You tell me. I can sense your excitement and anxiety, and catch a peepshow of ideas if I dip into that adorable head of yours. But that’s not the same as you telling me what you want.”

“An incubus who asks for consent?”

“The devil can’t take what isn’t freely given. Now, quit trying to weasel out of confessing and help me corrupt you.” Their nails dug into the soft flesh of his abdomen, just this side of painful.

“Okay, okay! I mean, what can you do, physically, in your shadow form?”

“Anything I can do with this one, and more besides. I can even shapeshift for a spell.”

“Can you shrink?”

“Sure. You want me to look the way I do now?”

Isaac opened his mouth. Slowly shut it again. “No…no. I like your other form the way it is.”

Kinslayer’s fingers delved a little deeper, caressing the contours of his pelvic bones. “Is that right?”

“Yeah. It’s just that when you’re all shadowy there might be, er, some coordination issues. With size.” The spines that jutted from their shoulders, or their extra sets of arms could be worked around more easily.

They trembled with silent laughter. “Don’t want to get split in half?”

“Not literally. No thanks.”

“But you do want the part where you’re helpless and can’t move.”

“Well…” He squirmed as much as he was able. Less from embarrassment and more because the sensation of their long, cool fingers stroking his skin was making him worry about ruining his last clean pair of jeans. “It doesn’t do any permanent damage, right?”

“I’m not out to break you, bookworm.”

“I have a bite mark on my shoulder that suggests otherwise.”

Their snort released a welcome puff of air against the lightly sweaty side of his neck. “Renato’s given you worse.”

He managed to crane his head around just enough to see their chin out of the corner of his eye. “Wait. Are you jealous?”

“Nah, just want to mark you up more. And see the look on Renato’s face the next night—because he does get competitive.”

Isaac let that sink in. Maybe it should’ve offended him that the two vampires he’d (stupidly) been fooling around with were using his body as a scorecard. It was difficult to care when one of them had their hands stuck down the front of his pants, though.

“Would you let me?” Kinslayer said, their lips stretching into a smile as they grazed his ear. “Sink my teeth into your thighs until they’re bruised? So every time you move you’re reminded of what I did to you days later?”

He let his head loll back onto their shoulder. The breath he’d been holding released slowly, shakily. “I can be convinced.”

“You’re getting spoiled, bookworm.” Yet their mouth was on his exposed neck, their hands finally where he wanted them the most. “Spoiled rotten.”

[strawbrygashez]

OC (kinda??) x Postal 2 Dude

Photos (Part 1)

SOO I really like this one official piece of Postal art work & I decided to make some Yaoi based off dude & this random guy 😎 so he’s not really a oc but he has no canon personality or name or anything to my knowledge so yeah!!! Tw ig for g0re mentions. I named him Sam!!!! :3 uhhH let me know if u guys want a part two! Sorry for any mistakes 🫡

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“Ah- Shit Dude I told you not to pull so hard.” The blonde grumbled from below Dude, his hand that held onto Dudes arm, tightening in grip. Dude let out a almost sadistic chuckle before loosing his grip on Sams hair. “Well sorry for trying to make your damn pictures look more realistic.” He teased before making some kinda motion similar to ruffling the blondes hair apologetically. However, it only made Sam huff before getting up off the ground and walk over to behind the camera. Dude only watched him for a moment before rolling his eyes and then starring down at the fake blood that drenched his own clothes.

In reality, there was so many different ways Dude could help Sam get more realistic imagery. He could have really roughed Sam up, brought over real blood and gory bits, strike real fear into Sams heart, and really beat the blondes jaw in, but he supposed there was no point in any of that. The photoshoot was to show of Sams skills in special effect makeup for his silly little website he had in hopes that someone, somewhere in the film industry would reach out to him about working on something together. The photos weren’t being took to showcase actual real pain.

He also supposed his fondness of Sam was the main reason he didn’t wanna do anything too crazy and genuinely terrify him. This was his one only genuine good friend he’d had in ages (besides Champ of course). So he had to repress whatever urges sneaked up into his missed up little mind to the best of his abilities unless he wanted to go back to feeling utterly alone in this shitty town again.

Dude was brought out of his thoughts once Sam let out a impressed whistle after a while of the sound of him clicking around to look at each picture. He even has a slight little grin which was rare coming from him. The man usually had a empty, emotionless resting bitch face which fit for him pretty well as a person. Sam was a huge horror nerd, darkly inclined, and loved the paranormal and real true crime stories. The only thing about him that didn’t quite fit that kinda stereotypical person was instead of a mass of messy dark long hair, he had platinum blonde hair and light blue eyes, which Dude made it a point to pick on him for, at least once or twice a week.

“What?” Dude asked as he wiped some of the fake blood off his hand and onto his already ruined shirt. Sam motioned for him to come over behind the camera before making room for him to look at it himself. Once Dude came over, he had to squint at the small picture to see it clearly. It was.. a cool picture he guessed but he wasn’t exactly sure what was so impressive about it. Sam took notice of Dudes confused expression and huffed yet again before pointing to Dudes face in the photo. “Look man! That’s pure insanity on your face right there. You look so fucking cool.” Before moving his finger and yet again examining the picture.

Dude wasn’t exactly sure how to feel about that comment…He definitely wasn’t offended or really anything like that but honestly he didn’t try to put that much energy into the ‘crazed’ look Sam had wanted from him yet. But well…whatever. He knew he just naturally seemed to scare people anyways and if that helped Sam out, then who gives a shit?

“Mm..Guessed ya picked the right type of guy for this project, huh? I know you wouldn’t want my ugly face in your pictures just for no reason.” Dude joked as he reached into his trench coat pocket for his sunglasses. The lighting in the room was killing his eyes, who turns their living room into a makeshift studio of sorts anyways?

Sam glanced up from the camera and back to him, his black expression coming back. “You’re not ugly, Dude. I picked you because you get my vision, you got cool style, and well.. I don’t know anyone around who wouldn’t be a big baby about doing this kinda stuff.”

“So you only picked me because everyone else thinks you’re weird? That’s-”

“Exactly the same boat you’re in?” Sam finished the sentence before yet again, facing back towards the camera. Dude stood still for a moment in silence before biting his bottom lip and faking a karate chop awfully close next to Sams neck, which only caused him to flinch slightly. “mm- You’re soo lucky I like you Sammy.” Dude threatened jokingly with a grin before he stood up right again. “Mhm. Anyways, I think I got some really good pictures I’ll definitely use. So go shower.”

Dude raised a eyebrow. “Huh?”

Turning off the camera for right now, Sam wiped his ‘bloody’ hands across his jeans while looking at Dude. “Put your clothes in the washer and go shower. I’m taking you to dinner.” He clarified, matter-of-factly. Again, Dude just dumbly stood there confused. “I uh- That wasn’t part of the deal. You only said you were going to pay me and-”

“Yeah? I still am but I also wanna take you to dinner.”

Dude still couldn’t really process what was going on. Sure it wasn’t anything crazy but he was making it sound like a-. Dude let out a chuckle at that thought. “You’re making it sound like a date or something Sam.” Dude said, grinning at the ‘bizarre’ idea. But Sam only shrugged. “So? Whatever.”

They both stood there, both secretly thankful for the fake blood and whatever else covering the slight redness coming to their faces. “Eh- uhm. I didn’t bring extra clothes.” Though Dude knew he was supposed to sleep over, he hadn’t really came prepared like it was a ‘sleepover’. He’d spent too much time trying to come up with a lie to tell his wife about why he’d need to be gone overnight and in turn, forgot to pack.

“That’s fine. You can borrow some clothes. I don’t think we wear sizes too different.” Sam replied. ‘Sharing clothes? Damn now things are getting even gayer.’ Dude thought to himself. The thoughts and feelings coming to Dude made him feel slightly sick, especially because it was mixed with another feeling that he didn’t know how to quite describe or wanna admit to for some reason. But.. it wasn’t a particularly bad feeling. “I uh.. Don’t you want the bathroom to yourself? You’re the one with that liquid latex on for the bloody chin thing you got goin’ on..”

“I can just clean myself off in the kitchen sink. Plus, no offense Dude but you needed to shower before I even added the fake blood on you.” He said, with of course a twitch of a smile showing. Dude frowned a tad. “Oh wow. Thanks. That’s really-” but before he could get his sentence out Sam picked up a near by rag and told him to just hurry up before heading to the kitchen. Leaving Dude to let out a sigh. Seems like there’s no way out of this.. and why didn’t Sam deny the accusation that it was a date? That question made Dudes face feel slightly warm again to Dudes dismay. Well whatever. At least it seemed like he was going to get a free meal out of all of this if nothing else.

Sucking it up for now, he finally decided to make his way toward the washer and dryer as he took in his surroundings. The home was filled with Halloween and horror decor that Dude was sure stayed up all year round. The place was just basically a big mancave which he couldn’t help but be slightly jealous of. He wouldn’t hear the end of it from his wife if he wanted to put up stuff similar to what Sam did in their trailer.

Oh yeah.. his wife. Hopefully she wouldn’t spot them out together. But he was doubtful of that happening. The bitch would never run a errand herself. Plus he could come up with some story on the spot if really needed.

[arinavah]

hi arina! how are u doing? i've read your life update before about how you may not be able to do art stuffs due to life circumstances, seeing you open your shop now really brightens my heart! i'm also an artist in a kind of tough situation where i dont have much choice and might have to give up drawing or have difficulty continuing. im wondering how you got thru it? your art updates give me strength and hope! but if u dont feel like sharing, i totally understand. hoping you best and thank you!!

I'm sorry I'm answering this so late, talking about my current life always ruins my mood. (this will be a long whining post, I'm very upset right now so I need to speak out)

Probably we are in different situations, unlike you, drawing is the only thing I can do now. I've  mentioned here before that my grandma had a stroke this summer, my parents live in another city, they come here from time to time. Me and grandma live in Moscow, sooooo, generally, disabled grandma is MY responsibility most of the time. Even though she's making some slow progress in recovering, she's still mostly bed ridden, she can't take care of herself, she can't get up from the bed without help, she barely walks, etc., etc. So we can't leave her alone, and taking care about such helpless person, 24/7 IS HARD. She can wake us up several times at night to go to toilet or whatever, during the day she always wants something and we have to serve her, it really exhaustes me. (I half jokingly say that I unexpectedly became mother of 76 y.o. child, but I've always been child-free, so guess what I'm feeling right now)

Good news: I have some time to draw. To be honest drawing is the only sphere of my life I still can control, it's the only thing bringing me joy. And thankfully some people buy my merch so I can earn some money even in these circumstanses.

Bad news: I lost all freedom I'd had, I can't go anywhere without hiring nurse, I have much less time for work and drawing, I can't properly relax after long day, in fact I can NEVER relax, I can't meet with friends, I can't travel, I have to cancel work trips. Even simple mandane things became very difficult and even impossible because of all these restrictions. I can't find proper words to describe how those restrictions of my freedom make me depressed and devastated, right now my mental health is the worst it's ever been. I cry almost every day, I became hysterical and agressive, I hate my life so much, that the mere thought of spending the rest of my youth living my family's life, not MY OWN LIFE makes me want to kms. At the moment I control nothing in my life, I can't decide where to live, what to do, where to go, absolutely nothing. Probably I will never find a partner, because dating in these life contitions is impossible. Probably I will die alone without any love and friends. Maybe my only destiny is to take care of disabled person.

I'm trying to accept the fact that my life's ended, that I won't have any freedom and any new people around me till she passes away or till one of my parents will take full charge of taking care of her (it will happen in 5 years or so, they have work to finish in another city).

I spend my days solving my family's problems, my grandma's health problems, selling some merch to earn money and drawing some silly things just to ✨feel something✨.  So me being able to draw something in difficult circumstanses is not some heroic thing, I'm not overcoming myself to make art desprite everything, what I'm doing is just...escapism... I want to get lost in my little drawings or in little stories for some time to forget about everything bothering me. Honestly, I'm very happy that I haven't lost ability to draw after everything happened to me this year.

Guys.... sorry for whining, but 2022 ruined my mental state completely... Political situation (fucking Russia 💀💀💀), family situation, I just feel so much hatered for this world, for this universe where none of my dreams will ever come true, where I control nothing, where I have to live someone else's life, where I have no freedom, where I have to be silent, where I have to look at my government's crimes and be silent, where I can't  plan anything, where I can't love who I want (yesterday they accepted "lgbt propaganda" ban law), where I have to live the rest of my life in the country I hate, with a government I hate, isolated, lonely, constricted, attached to disabled person.

My parents keep telling me it's temporary, they don't want me to be a nurse for the rest of my life, everything is gonna be okay, they will solve everything. I don't believe them. Maybe I'm overdramatising, maybe if I get a therapy I'll feel better and less pessimistic about my future, but for now... I feel terrible. So, if drawing makes me feel a little bit better, then I'll continue to draw.

[sunshinemoonrx]

Cai, Bedwyr and company

So pretty much ever since this post about the original folkloric magical-warrior Arthur, I've been doodling designs for other characters surrounding him (and that real good art I rb'd yesterday kicked my ass into wanting to upload them finally).

Of the companions of the Welsh version of Arthur, Cai (or Cei/Kei) has to top the list. Most magical guy in the world. Per Culhwch & Olwen dude has heat and cold powers, he can grow giant, he can survive underwater for nine days. He fought a giant cat once. (It's actually kind of interesting that he later was adapted into the boorish, incompetent Sir Kay because of how amazing he originally was; it's the classic anime rival bit where you can show how cool your new OC, Lancelot or whoever, is by having him be better than the existing best guy)

I was already leaning into the "slutty magical anime boys" aesthetic and, with characters like this who only appear once the legendary Welsh versions of the 9th century on get into full swing, I felt more license to go further with that (whereas my Arthur and Trwyth look slightly more down-to-earth because they appears even earlier as small-scale local figures).

So my concept for Cai is that since he can generate heat from his skin so intense no rain can touch him without evaporating, by anime girl character design logic obviously he has to leave his back and shoulders and thighs uncovered since that's where I'm having his wings of magical flame project from.

The hair gave me a little trouble--I briefly thought I could give him two-coloured hair to reflect his heat/cold thing, but then I remembered one of the popular HeroAca guys is a two-colour-hair fire-ice-powers guy so I hard-swerved away from treading on those toes. In the end I settled on the MILFy ponytail at the bottom since it'd keep his hair clear of his back, since again, it's very logical and strategically important for the skin there to be bare.

The gloves and metal bands, meanwhile, are meant to be like a shadow the hedgehog power-limiter kinda deal, where he can take them off to unleash his full elemental power. That works with gloves but not really the boots, but I didn't want to lose the symmetry, but then! A piece of medieval Welsh poetry gave me inspiration for another function, and a way to make the design hornier I guess.

One of the Triads of Britain refers to the Three Fettered Men of the Isle of Britain: "Because horses could not be obtained that were suited to them, owing to their size; so they put fetters of gold around the small of their legs, on the cruppers of their horses, behind their backs".

Cai isn't one of the three, but in addition to his main epithet "Cai Wyn" ("worthy Cai", or "Cai the Fair", so it's important he's hot you see), he's also known as "Cai Hir" ("Cai the Tall"), which may be a reference to his ability to grow giant, and fits the 'reasoning' in the Triad. So the bands on his legs became fetters of gold, and my idea is he releases his power by breaking the chain to do his Ultraman rise.

A "crupper", meanwhile, seems to be like, an ass-harness? Sure, that fits the vibe we've ended up at. I figured that can be what he slings his sword from, and then spent...a while trying to figure out the logistics of that. So y'know I had to draw his hips and ass a bunch. For science.

As you can see, there's a couple of attempts to render the leotard as chainmail; one story, Rhonabwy's Dream, describes Cai as wearing mail of pure white rings with pure red rivets, which sounds gorgeous but I dunno how to draw white chainmail so I mostly gave up. He can wear one over the other, I guess?

In Culhwch, Cai (who is the best sword-maker in the world, naturally) forges a sword for the giant Wrnach Gawr, then kills him with it and takes it, so I figured that'd be a cool weapon to give him. Cai asks if he'd like it to be white-bladed or dark-blue-bladed, and Wrnach answers "whichever way you prefer"; we never find out what that is, so I thought an asymmetrical design incorporating both would be fun.

Anyway, here's another friend: Bedwyr! Precursor to Sir Bedivere, Bedwyr is Cai's constant companion, who "never feared a quest that Cai went on". Do Not separate them. He's the Fast Guy; though he has one hand, he can draw blood three times faster than anyone can with two; by the time you notice he's stabbed you once, he's stabbed you another seven times, etc. He's also noted as the most beautiful man in all the land (except Arthur, and one other guy whose name never comes up anywhere else).

I had kinda wanted to give Cai lots of hair volume but was thwarted by the bare-back thing so I made that Bedwyr's thing, and he's gotta be a spear guy given the above (another fun thing is his spearhead can fly off and stab guys on its own then come back to him). Another Triad calls Cai one of the "Three Diademed Battle-Leaders of the Isle of Britain", but adds after giving the three that "And one was diademed above the three of them: that was Bedwyr son of Bedrawc." So that's why they both have little tiaras, and while I flip back and forth on the look I settled on making Bedwyr's a little fancier and Cai's simpler to conform with the poem.

So that's how we arrive at what I consider my final designs for these two lovebirds (one poet tells us Bedwyr's death left Cai "heartbroken"); in the end I prefer the sword-harness just looking like a simple belt from the front, and I added some boots? Thigh-socks? Something?? to Bedwyr to break up the design a bit. The asymmetry of them to conform with his tunic's skirt is inspired by Marin from Saint Seiya, who really rocks the asymmetrical leggings.

And on the right is an initial go at Gwenhwyfar, precursor to Guinivere (and I try to respect the Welsh spellings and pronounciations generally, but I may sometimes refer to her as just "Gwen" in this case). I was inspired by a fragmentary dialogue between her and an antagonistic warrior Melwas (who spends half the dialogue trying to fight Cai actually), where he calls her "Gwenhwyfar of the deer's glance", which brought a vision of a spooky lanky cryptid lady with all-black too-long eyes to mind.

The battle of Camlann was said to be brought about by conflict between Gwenhwyfar and her sister Gwenhwyfach, and a blow struck by the latter to the former, but they might also be like...reflections of the same person's good and bad sides or something?? It's all very murky. In any case, I couldn't stop thinking of Gwen as someone who punches dudes, and the main other instance of that in Welsh legends are their versions of "witches", who wear armour and kill with iron claws. Gwen's mother is a member of the Roman nobility, so I thought fuck it, let's get real wacky and ahistorical and dress her like a cestus-wielding gladiator. Roman influence, iron claws, punching dudes, it all comes together.

Oh, and her father is a giant, so I drew a little Arthur to scale at the bottom to show she's inherited some of that too. I wanna draw her more and refine this, make her spookier (one Triad presents her as being three people? Or Arthur just had three wives with the same name? It might just be a pun? Unclear???) But for now, here's one final page of assorted stuff, presented a couple ways up for clarity:

So there's another Bedwyr; below him, the Cath Palug, the giant cat Cai fights in the poem Pa Gur, which I do intend to do a big funky monster design for, but much like Trwyth in the first post, I had fun doing a human one too. What, am I not gonna draw a catgirl when I can draw a catgirl?

From the other angle, there's Melwas, foe of Cai and Gwen mentioned above. He describes himself as young, and Gwen calls him a "lad of black and yellow", so I made him a twink with dyed hair, but I'll do a more full design later. Probably not before doing Cai's fight with the Cath Palug though.

Caledfwlch, the pre-Excalibur, I drew before, but I did a more ostentatious version here based on its description in Rhonabwy's Dream, where drawing it is like flames leaping forth from the jaws of the serpents whose designs were on it, so blinding no-one could look at it. I like to imagine it having the more humble look until the critical moment when it reveals its true form.

Aaaaand then there's Arthur on a motorbike. (You may have noticed there's one of these way further up in this post in one of the Cai pages) This is just me continuing to think about that idea from the last post about him popping back up in the modern day. Mostly what I orbit around is that he'd defeat whatever evil wizard he was summoned to deal with and then people would be like "so your job is done?" and he'd be like "what? no, the world is clearly in grave peril" and start running around destroying fossil fuel infrastructure. In fact I have a real hankering to make that a comic, but I'd need to be like, an actual artist for that.

So anyway the idea is he gets the spirit of his horse (Llamrei) to inhabit the bike, enabling it to do sick physics-defying stunts. Here's another for the road in fact:

(Wow, Cat, do you like Kamen Rider or something?)

[bluegekk0]

I hope you feel better soon!

Just wanted to share a few words of encouragement. I really love your AU. I’ve been following it for some time now and it’s just gotten better and better. I love popping online and seeing the latest asks and the lore behind these sillies. Your art is incredible too. This AU is truly a labor of love and it’s great that you’ve taken as much comfort in it as I have. I love seeing AUs that take a different sort of route than canon while staying true to their source material, and I feel like yours does just that. It’s very emotionally balanced, too, with pretty equal amounts of angst and wholesome, which I feel like is a hard thing to achieve in AUs. All in all I’ve really enjoyed keeping up to date with this AU and I can’t wait to see what happens next.

It’s that time again! What’s something you want to infodump about but haven’t gotten the chance? Anything at all. I am READY!

awh thank you so much ❤

this means a lot, really. it's something i worry about all the time, i know it's my au and i can do what i want with it, but i still overthink it way more often than i'd like. i try my best to find a balance between something i personally enjoy and something that doesn't stray too far from the canon, so hearing this is very reassuring. so thank you, i really appreciate your words, and i'm glad you enjoy the au 💖

as for the infodump... hm. well, a topic came up on my friends discord server about fpk's sense of humor, so perhaps i'll take this as an opportunity to talk about what each of the main characters finds funny? that could be quite a fun ramble. i'll put it under a read more thingy cause it'll probably be very long

i guess i'll start with fpk. he's a bit slow when it comes to humor, he's always had trouble catching irony and double-meanings, but after the hibernation he's even slower at getting more nuanced jokes. he'll understand them eventually, but it might take him a few seconds to even process what was said, let alone decide that it was a joke. it doesn't help that he's a serial overthinker, so his first instinct is to take things literally, and that means that in some cases the joke might go completely over his head, especially if it's a topic he's particularly sensitive about. it also carries over to his ability to tell jokes - let's just say he's not very good at it. there aren't many things that he finds funny, most of the time it's something related to his hobby, which unfortunately means most people won't really understand the joke. in other cases, he'll unintentionally say something that's actually really funny, and then get a bit confused when he hears a laugh in response. aside from that, he gravitates towards self-deprecating, dry humor, which can be quite amusing if you contrast it with the more outright funny jokes told by others

grimm, on the other hand, is much more well-versed in comedy. though, probably quite unexpectedly, his humor can be quite immature. he loves jokes that are flirty and filled to the brim with innuendos, which he most often targets at fpk (who needs a second or two to realize what grimm means, before his face turns all red haha). in general his sense of humor can be quite... off putting, let's say. he's the type to make the kind of jokes where you can't exactly tell if he's being serious or not. sometimes you can catch him staring at your neck and commenting on your blood type in a humorous tone, which to him is very funny, but to others might be a bit too ominous. on top of that, he very much enjoys irritating or intimidating others, he finds their reactions very amusing. particularly with hornet, they engage in banter almost constantly - he'll get on her nerves to cause a reaction, and she'll fire back with a mean comeback. to them it's all in a good fun, but to an outsider it would be quite a strange dynamic to witness. of course, he's not all immature, he knows when to stop, and whenever he's away from his family, his demeanor changes and he becomes a lot more serious. it's clear that he's more comfortable and approachable whenever he's around his loved ones, as he basically turns into a completely different person the moment he returns to dirtmouth

hornet has a very mean type of humor. she has a lot of built-up anger, and mean jokes are a way for her to release it. it most certainly borders on being rude and cruel, though she tones it down whenever she's around her family. you have to know her well enough to realize that she's just joking, otherwise her attempts at humor might come off as genuinely insulting. it's certainly something she works on throughout the events of the au, there were a few instances of her saying something mean as a joke towards fpk or holly which was severely misinterpreted, and she wants to avoid repeating that mistake. most of the time, she doesn't actually mean what she says, but unfortunately not everyone sees it that way. i mentioned that she engages in banter with grimm all the time, but even then she tries to control her words. grimm wouldn't get offended, he doesn't take himself that seriously, but it's still something that she pays attention to. of course, if he annoys her, she'll fire at him with a mean joke, which he then laughs off. there's clearly a degree of understanding between them, and it's one of the reasons why they're actually a lot closer than you'd expect. but it's just them, she has to be a lot more careful with her humor around the other members of the family, particularly fpk, who she knows is especially paranoid about upsetting her - she wouldn't want to make him think that she's actually angry at him, so she makes sure to tone down her nasty humor in his presence

holly... well, it's quite difficult to be a jokester if you can't speak. they do understand humor, perhaps not as well as they'd hope, but they're not oblivious to it. unfortunately, they can't really practice it too well - sure, they can attempt to make humorous sketches in their notebook, but the time consuming nature of it means that they're not able to actively participate in comedic banter. though their inability to respond does still lead to humorous moments occasionally. for example, they'd be the "stares into the camera like they're starring in the office" type. their seemingly confused, blank expression happens to make some people laugh, and i think they would quickly catch onto that and embrace it rather than feel embarrassed about it. they also play the straight man whenever they're around more comedic personalities like grimm, or people whose whole presence causes others to laugh, such as zote. of course, it didn't start as something they did entirely by choice, but they would naturally excel at it. and i don't think they mind that, at the end of the day they just want to make others laugh, and if that's what works best, then they're happy

and of course zote is zote. he doesn't really make jokes, but his tendency to blurt things out without thinking and over-confidence lead to many comedic situations. you can't find a funnier guy than him, and he does it completely unintentionally. grimm finds him extremely entertaining, so he'll often say things that will specifically get zote to say dumb things. for example, whenever zote starts one of his rambles about all the places he's allegedly been to, grimm will start asking questions that will get zote to say more made up things, to the point where he completely stops making sense. it's quite mean when you think about it, but that's just how grimm operates (he does actually care for zote in his own strange way). but back to the funny man himself - most of the humor comes from all the wacky situations he gets himself into. that being said, he doesn't like being laughed at, it's a very unpleasant childhood memory that unfortunately makes him react in anger, and that often causes even more people to laugh. i think the rest of the family would catch on, though, and avoid laughing at him, even if they do find his antics very funny. i think this is why he's kind of a honorary family member - he may act all confident and cocky, but deep down he really just wants to be a part of a family, and it just so happens that this bunch of weirdos accept him as one of their own. i imagine he's dealt with a lot of bullying in his childhood, he's got a lot of issues which he weaponizes into all of his nonsense, but that's a topic for another day. as for things he'd laugh at, i do think he would find the misfortune of others amusing. in some ways, he shares hornet's mean sense of humor, though he's not as quick-witted as her haha

as for lewk, he's still a child, so his sense of humor isn't particularly elaborate. he laughs at the things you'd expect a child to laugh at, it doesn't really get much deeper than that. though growing up around grimm and hornet, i could absolutely see him absorbing all of the banter he witnesses and developing a similar type of humor as he ages. he's a lot more sensitive, though, so i don't think he'd ever reach the same levels of mean humor as hornet, or find much amusement in intimidating others like grimm. after all, he does also spend a lot of time around fpk, so perhaps he'd learn some of his "nerd" humor? he's still young, so we'll have to wait and see, i'm constantly thinking of his personality so it's something i can't say for sure just yet

[squadrah]

Kind of an odd ask, but do you have any unpopular opinions about the boys?

I will be honest, I actually don't know what counts as an unpopular opinion about them because while I have been doing my best to chip in from my side, I haven't gone poking around a lot for... reasons... (I was not having an easy time mentally and emotionally, as one is wont to do in trying times!) But I did notice some things that I was very counterculture on:

Not a fan of domineering or sadistic Risotto stuff in general - his everything from power position to ability to just physical size makes a lot of people lean towards that, but I personally don't enjoy that sort of thing and would rather have him act and behave differently outside of assassination, you know? I also don't ship him and Prosciutto (beyond that singular extremely specific flavor I once wrote about, and even that took a lot of thinking because I used to be so averse to the whole thing that I blocked every iteration of their names just to escape the ship. Those were really bad times for me.)

Not much to say about Formaggio - I mostly agree with folks on his anime color scheme being a crime, etc. though I don't make him as self-conscious as even canon suggests him to be? To my mind an assassin team would recognize how useful he is and treat him better than what the anime adds for us.

I never vibed with the idea that Prosciutto was a chain smoker or even a smoker? I am starting to loosen up on that front and like, depending on the situation I can allow for it (mostly if it's just bonkers, see the Yowapeda AU where he can race on a bicycle while smoking, it's just a good mental image that tickles me), but for the longest time I was extremely irritated when even in like, just your standard fanart, he was the only one shown with a cigarette, because he doesn't smoke in canon and to my mind he would probably be wary of smelling like an ashtray. I also never liked the "he lives on coffee/hard alcohol and drugs" sort of stuff, but maybe I'm just too doggedly straight-edge even where you could make allowances (such as a cutthroat setting). To me it's infinitely more interesting to have him be startlingly sober through all of the bullshit he is dealing with. In general I also don't do well with him being depicted as a complete mess, or people saying he's probably a racist? Like, you do not have to project that onto a character that doesn't give a reason for it?

Pesci... Pesci is well and good. I don't ship him and Prosciutto, and I guess that is as unpopular as I might get? To those who do, power to you, I've just never been big on mentor/mentee or senpai/kouhai type ships, I only do a few flavors IF I do, and that's it.

Not sure what is out there on Ghiaccio... I got nothing unless he and Risotto are a big ship, in which case I'm unpopular by passing that up. I like him better with Melone and even better with Formaggio, perhaps Prosciutto. I need to open up ideal ship dynamics again soon and have someone ask because Ghiaccio/Prosciutto is so fucking bonkers in my head.

Is it still unpopular to like Melone? If it is, we did it! I've done a lot of meta on Melone and Baby Face by now, and if general opinion is as unbending as it was years ago, it is probably all unpopular, but I just never saw him as being worse than any other member of the team, because... he isn't. It's Araki's bad making that train scene look worse than it actually was.

Not sure what is out there on Illuso? I am very much in my "he's a hoarder" corner so if he's mostly seen as minimalist or organized then I'm in the unpopular camp who sees a mess inside AND out.

Sorbet and Gelato take... I don't really enjoy art where their deaths are used as a motif. I have seen too many of those. I get that we have so little canon material to work on, and we all love a clever hint and depiction? But I would always rather have fun alive and well art of these two than art that reminds me...

But again, to each their own! None of these are me grilling or shaming anyone, it's more of a soft shrug of my shoulders at this point, and thank god for that. I remember being more angry about any and all of this, but I feel like I've achieved some semblance of peace down the line - probably in part thanks to all the kind people who enjoy my version of the boys! I dearly love what I have made of them, and the fact that other people can vibe with that is really cool and it makes me happy!

[middleschoolfursona]

i like your art style a lot–have you always drawn this way, or is it something u developed over time? do u have any tips for drawing in the general sparklecat/old internet art style or similar?

1. Thank uuuuu <3

2. Under cut ⬇️

It's a mix of both- my current sort of diary art/stress relief/ wholesome style is a replication of my elementary school art style! (Like 5th grade, not 2nd lol. I was still drawing stick guys blowing up zombies with tanks and crap back then)

Otherwise, my other styles are style emulations, essentally!

I'll break it down rq:

Mostly based off my own childhood art:

Natural progression of my art as I grew up:

Style "emulation" (le me making an amalgamation of liek 20000 old deviantart artists into one image)

Most of the sparklecat and scenedog art I draw like the above, is inspired by the works I stockpile from deviantart deep dives, and archive blogs. They're not emulations of one style, but multiple styles, taking parts I like or think are the most 'authentic'- essentially, I do what your young brain would have done without thinking, but I have to do it on purpose haha

My tip: while practicing, I'd say absolutely do studies of peoples entire DA galleries and figure out what works best for you.

Above all else I can't say anything else but like. Age regress lmao. If you can't do that, just do everything you can otherwise to put yourself in the headspace of the art you're emulating.

Put on old Amnesia playthroughs on YouTube, listen to Yaoi Nightcore playlists, edgy scourge AMVs, Naruto YTP, the whole Twilight movie- really whatever you listened to back in the day. Put that back on in the BG. Open current MsPaint or your preferred emulation of old MsPaint, or a free art software like medibang. (Don't download cool brushes. Work with Pen 1 and Airbrush or whatever.)

Use references of the era you want to emulate and use only those. Take all your current knowledge of art and BIN IT. The #1 problem in most emulation art even I have a really, really hard time with- is your stuff looking too modern because your art style is modern. Your tools are modern. Your mindset is modern. It will make your art look uncanny.

Don't try hard. It's really temping to draw the most rawrxd scenecore webcore hot topic revival 100 gecs whatever, I get that I guess- but it won't look like it's from the era. It's really hard to get x3randum ☆~ iTs rAinIng TACOOZZZZZZ ~☆ humor right, so don't try it for your first and submerge yourself in the era first. Tryhard sparkles are a real issue and you risk making your art look like it's snark.

Small canvases and or destroy your image quality. I don't do this as much as I should but it definitely adds to the look LULs

I will say, I have no idea otherwise because I come from a very privileged background when it comes to style emulation which is that I grew up planning to be an animator and thus, in my critical years, I was basically 100% drive on the ability to draw characters in many styles, on model. If you don't have this skill, it'll be a lot harder I'm sure.

Use your non dominant hand for especially young looking art. (If you have one. If not... uh... try your mouth?) (~that's what she said~)

(I mean. If you're *going for* the look of 'yes it's 2023 yes I'm bringing back this' go ahead, it just won't look genuine in the slightest and I am someone who's art journey is about doing all I can to emulate authenticity. Just adding this because I know a lot of people are! Go make that modern sparkledog eyeburner mary sue antisnark! It's just not my cup of tea. And I can't really give any pointers kthxbai)