#i guess i do have therapy today.

[knifegremliin]

turns out realizing you doing something is because of your ocd isn't enough to make you just! not do it! shocking!!!

[sollucets]

guys i am trying Really hard not to have public opinions about of this morning... pray for me

[lesbianfakir]

Princess tutu tulpa save me save me save me princess tutu tulpa

[seariii]

You know what? Worst case scenario that I don't finish my personal drawings for vslentines, I'll just post them a day (or a couple) later, who cares. It's cute Saori art, and she and all of the characters deserve to have some fun

[jorvikzelda]

legitimately nothing will make you realise your therapist isnt helping you very much quite like having 2 terrible terrible days in a row (in a very predictable way) and being completely fucking stumped as to how to deal with yourself

[marlinspirkhall]

The spiders in my bedroom have got me so well-trained. Today I noticed that Harold II had moved from his perch in the corner to sit beside the window again (which he hasn't done since Wednesday evening when the heatwave finally let up), and it struck me as odd.

But lo and behold, it's too warm tonight, so I had to open the window, and he's just sitting there smugly on his second web, like it's his summer home.

The most upsetting part is, there haven't been any flying bugs in my room all summer, so he must be doing something right.

[aceofstars16]

I’m kind of online again? Ish?

And uh, I feel like I want to recap this month cause maybe that’ll help me feel better about it or something…

I was hoping it would be a refreshing, relaxing, and clarifying break. It wasn’t. At all. I’m more exhausted than before and my depression has been probably the worst it has ever been. (Maybe I had a breakthrough last night but honestly I am still wary and unsure and just tired so I don’t know for sure yet)

I started physical therapy and I am…still not sure if it’s helping? I’ve tried dry needling a few times, but I can’t say I notice any drastic difference yet. (Though my neck went out really bad one day a few weeks ago so that might be impeding seeing any improvement) But hey, I tried Excedrin and it actually seems to help my migraines…I just hope I won’t have to keep taking them as often as I have been 🥴

Our cats also got fleas like…a month ago…and we are still dealing with them…maybe it’s a little better now but it’s still frustrating to see them…and get bit by them…they are also probably one of the reasons I’m so tired 😒 (and I haven’t drawn much cause I’m tired and the fleas are in my drawing room and last time I tried drawing on the couch in there I got bit 🔪)

A few good things: I got to do two escape rooms with family, and we beat them with a lot of time to spare and it was fun. This past week I got to see my brother and wife with the rest of the family and we all had a fun (though sometimes tiring) time. I also had some ideas for my books (slightly inspired by being salty about a book series I tried to read, and also excited for @dragonanne ‘s book release 🎉) so I might actually have a little more of a plot for the trilogy instead of just vague ideas lol. Oh and I read a lot of books and changed my book reading goal to 50 this year cause I’m only eight books away from that already 😂

So yeah…I’m kind of discouraged and disappointed about this past month…🫠

[carneflower13]

im so fucking tired and cranky and crabby today....

[a-very-fond-farewell]

tried to take a day off from writing. still woke up at 5am. let’s write then 😈🔥

[cerealmonster15]

One of my former classmates got hit by the Microsoft blizzard stupid layoffs god this SUUUUUCKSSSSSS

[allthecastlesonclouds]

castles pls ramble about your wips /is there anything you're working on and/or excited to share????

omgggg yes i have been STRUGGLING this past two weeks because i. uh. sprained my right wrist (my dominant hand) and doing Anything At All hurts so i have SO MANY thoughts in my head and nothing's going to come out of it until i'm healed

fight or flight has been a really interesting fic for me to write specifically bc i. didn't grow up religious? my mom's atheist and my dad's catholic and i've never gone to church, but religion is really interesting to me, and the topic of fate and God is really intriguing. i like looking into faith and fate and learning about the different ways people see things, and i wanted to write a fic that felt. A Lot. like my dad's Catholic Childhood ExperienceTM and where he and his siblings are now in life, since all of them fell to different religions different ways and still keep in contact. i also wanted to touch on suburban family relationships in general bc goddamn those are fucked up.

fight or flight was originally going to be a lot more Kristen Vs Mac and Donna– the document title's still a pun based on that– but the more i thought about it the little it fit with her character: as much as kristen is bold, she's much more of a say something and run character– she doesn't quite know what'll happen after she says anything, does she? and she doesn't think before she speaks, so if anything goes wrong, she's likely to flee.

i've also started revamping my Coffe AU! it was, essentially, a modern coffeeshop au where different characters were in slightly different scenarios and the bad kids didn't quite become a friendgroup until after college, where adaine and ayda ran a coffee shop and the sig figs were Vibing and riz? worked five million jobs? and aelwyn actually gets therapy. the pacing of the fic was bad, though, and it was overall unrealistic, so i'm planning out a slightly different fic– they're all going to the same excessively large college, and keep meeting up at the coffee shop Ayda and Adaine run for said college. goldenhoard was the main villain in the first one; kalina was fully a housecat; cass didn't even EXIST because i wrote it before i got a dropout account and i only could watch up to ep3 of sophomore year! that's all changing, though; the gukgaks still have a cat named kalina but she Is Named After Someone

the "fic", if i ever get around to writing it, would be an actual longfic, written from one person's perspective, and a series of oneshots for a buncha other characters. the longfic was originally from adaine's perspective, but i might go fig this time around bc my girl adaine is Hard and i want the challenge of writing from the perspective of someone who isn't the Main Character of the story.

(also. coffe!aelwyn my beloved. she's trying so hard.)

i had a riz + mordred fic in the works, but since it seems mordred is going to be in jy a lot, that one's on hold until the season goes. i wanted to write it because the premise made me laugh: it was riz really sweetly bonding with different members of mordred and then him and zayn. awkwardly staring at each other as they realize their adaine's-best-friend title will never belong to either of them again and will forever be ayda's.

i wrote a drawtectives fic recently, which i know you're not in the fanbase for but i started a second one, from york's perspective, which cycles around rosé going back to college and york learning how The City is different and what family is to him (and also learning to cook bc grandma is the Only Competent One) AND i want to round out the trio, since the first was a rosé fic and this ones a york and so the third would be a grendan one, which is about getting york to his fashion shoots, i think? that one's a lot more up in the air, because. i want them to be Mostly Separate and so i want to see where york takes me.

and, in the drawtectives vein, i'm working on episode transcripts! pre-sprain, i could do 10 pages per hour, but now i'm down to 4-6, depending on the complexity. it's the only thing i don't struggle to do bc it's mostly writing names and correcting (or messing up) some grammar. i finished s1 on the... 18th? 19th? and i'm about 25 minutes into s2ep1 so. it's gonna take a while. but GOD i'm becoming a lore keeper for this. and also my vocal recognition for These Four People Specifically is. so good now. i can recognize their hums, it's insane.

and my friend (the most lovely and also basically inactive @mug-fullof-roses) and i are making plushies! just four drawtectives (the guys and also eugene), and we're still in the fabric buying but i think i'm going to try to find some good patterns over break because. clothing??? help??

and!! bringing it around again!! i've sketched out the dumbest comic for dance au bc something happened in my dance class that had me going "bad kids right here" the entire week. my hiphop teacher started playing that billie eilish song from the barbie movie, stared at the computer for a solid five seconds, then went 'sorry this isn't it' and tapped the computer once to change it to whatcha know bout me by nicki minaj. god. wild. love her dearly.

i have So Many Quotes from dance i might just make a danceau incorrect quotes post bc. we wild.

[godblooded]

if you get an ask from me (probably from @clawsextended ) yes you absolutely did i have selina brainrot and i have for literally like three hours now.

[joyofmissout]

My life seems like an endless soccer game that no one passes the ball to me

[beskad]

.

[morewyckedthanyou]

aaaaand i'm back to eating antidepressants again.

i also got prescribed a low dose of another antidepressant to help me sleep - i really hope it does help because my sleep has been shit for a long while now and melatonin has made no difference no matter how strong the dosage.

[kazoologist]

I actually really fucking hate how anything in my schedule not going the way I initially Intended For It To just automatically makes me a massive fucking crybaby and or a raging bitch. Like dude. The grocery store does not hate me. It sucks that my schedule requires me to get there an hour earlier no matter what but like. They didn’t do that to me. Why am I always so upset whenever I have to change plans. I change plans too! I’m a living person!!! Why am I so fucking upset about this!!!!!!