#i guess that is all i have succeeded at. well i mean i did vanquish the roaches and i passed all my classes

[gideonisms]

self love through loving pathetic women ❤️

[starshipsofstarlord]

the age old divine

hela x hecate!reader x agatha harkness / masterlist

summary; the mass of murdered witches draws your attention, shooting down to earth to speculate the scene. two goddesses, and a outcast witch, need i say more? / warnings; death, smut, threesome, biting, blood, threatening, oral sex (f receiving), fingering, squirting

“dead, dead, dead.” the goddess of death herself spoke, as she traipsed through the loitering of witch carcasses. despite her words, her dark eyes showed anything but pity, rather what was bestowed upon her power endorsing pools was amusement. the scene was quite satisfying to her, it was a certainty that she would not be one to complain about the number of bodies.

“say it with a little less stride in your tone, these are my children. they were gifted magic by my hand, and now all that reprise has gone to waste.” you bit verbally at the daughter of odin, looking respectfully down upon the slaughtered. “only one of their own coven could have strung them to her heart so enthrallingly, we have to find the witch.”

“isn’t all this hocus pocus your jurisdiction? there is no we when it comes to reprimanding the order of this nature.” hela responded, brushing her hair back into its tarantula alike webbing. “hurry now, so we can carry on with our reckoning of the realms, earth is rather dirtying my feet with distaste for the humans that loiter pathetically on this planet.”

“oh hush, just because you are your daddy’s number one executioner does not mean that structured by your thoughts, that life is a waste. mortals may not be gifted with long life, nor the representation of elaborate thinking, however there is some beauty to their weak race.” a rustle in the bushes had you snapping your head to the side, focalising on the greenery as a nervous shake prompted the arms.

“there is no beauty to avid weakness.” hela noticed the listener’s location too, though she continued to speak as though it were a regular conversation at one of asgard’s infamous banquets. “nor hiding from those that reign higher in a seam of nature. come out little witch, and show us that digressed face of yours.”

“hela.” thoughtlessly elbowing the executioner, your thoughts drifted to her borderline mistake. the witch could attempt to escape after her whereabouts being called out, though perhaps you should have had more faith in the face of death, for a ragged haired, young woman approached from her hiding spot, seemingly worried for her own safety.

her eyes drifted over the various bodies that she had cast from life, and then they landed on you. instantly she recognised the description that your form visibly upheld, she had heard various tales and stories about you as a child, the mother of the witches.

“agatha harkness.” you knew her name, inside she panicked, it felt as though she were to be punished for her sins. but with one flick of your enchanted wrist, the evidence of her reprisal disappeared, her mother’s corpse turning into nothing more than a wisp drifting through the air. “i suppose it is you that had vanquished your family, may i, the sorceress over all, get an answer to why?”

agatha fumbled her shoulders for a second, as she thought of the best response that she could possibly bestow. she couldn’t say that she had seen the darkhold, nor disobeyed the ways of her coven, that would only make her appear as the villain. “well, are you going to tell me, or am i going to have to take a peak in that chaotic mind of yours?” your tone was harsh, as your demanding eyes bore into her.

from beside you, hela tutted, as she nonchalantly picked at her nails. “aren’t you the one always telling me to have patience?” out of all times, this was when the goddess had to intervene, it seemed as though she herself had no patience to sit there and allow you to carry on. after all, as she had spoken, this was your area, not hers.

“shut it.” the demand provoked the woman that lurched death upon her victims, she was fast to swoon forwards and cast her tough hand upon your jaw. her impending pupils glazed over, washing over with dominance, as her spare hand reached out, shaking her pointer finger at agatha, whom had tried to creep away from the debacle scene.

“not so fast little witch, i want to show you how weak and vulnerable your deity is in my hands. one snap and i could break this pretty neck of hers; and that would be such a shame.” hela hissed, sinking her teeth into your chin, hard enough to cause a puncture mark to render your flesh, with your crimson humanity lightly escaping from the small wound.

the goddess of death threw you upon the ground, as you turned and glared at the witch, who remained frozen at the play that was rolling out before her eyes. hela sunk onto her knees, grasping the crooks of your ankles to pull you closer, straddling you to permit no option of escape.

“i thought that you were smart enough not to talk back to me y/n, but it appears that i, like the ways of my forefathers, was wrong. did all those lessons i introduce you to amount to nothing?” her porcelain hands tore at your white robe, exposing your nudity to the crisp air, that sent ripples of bumps along your immortal skin. “i will bend and break you until you understand. i will rip everything away from you, until you see that your whimsical tricks are nothing in compared to what i am able to do.”

a whine escaped your lips, and agatha’s eyes widened. she shouldn’t be witnessing this, much less standing by as her legendary, tale told idol fumbled beneath a mass of dark seduction, braced to be as barren of clothing as you were the day that you had been birthed as a symbolic presence within the universe.

“get off of me, otherwise i shall inform the hellish mould of the devil’s crown how to defeat you; you and i both know that ragnarok will have you splitting in half like a fallen icicle.” the threat, albeit honest, was half empty, like a cauldron with the incorrect ingredients. hela could only smirk at the predicament that you had adjourned into the compass of.

her suspicious hand slithered down your body like an albino serpent, cradling the mound of your inherited artefact, rubbing her murderous thumb upon your rose, toying cantankerously with the petals, pricking at them like established thorns, drawing a spike in your breath. agatha rubbed her thighs together, trapping her full bottom lip between the jailhouse of her teeth, lightly gnawing upon her own flesh.

“get off of you, or get you off into a climactic example of true ecstasy, that is not accompanied by vengeful curses, nor midnight felines that bring the warning of arising karma?” she asked teasingly, shaking her deviant head as you thrusted your hip against her hand, rubbing the length of your treasure chest upon her thrilling palm.

“don’t be stereotypical hela, otherwise i will make sure you see some entrapment of your own fears; you and i both know that i am well equipped to take a guess at what they are.” hela prowled her top lip up in the stance of a silent snare, quickly disconcerting her attention away from you in your appeasing pose, as she beckoned the bushy haired witness over, grinning contently when the witch silently complied.

“i suppose you’ve never thought that the night would come where you would see your historical figure writhing under the affections of death. touch her, fulfil the one legacy that you bestow upon your enchanted selves, and serve her.” the woman cloaked in a skin of thin armour spoke, glaring frighteningly up at the witch, with a primal infrastructure edging the outside of her feral orbs.

“i, i, what do i do?” agatha wanted to be certain that the thoughts that ceremoniously rushed to her mind. if she were to worship your body with the passion that she had refrained from sharing with any of her coven, then she wanted to be certain that she knew the extents that she was allowed to perform to. a forbade groan sheathed like a revealed dagger from your mouth, as you located your neck in an alternate position so that you could look at your kin.

“eat my cunt harkness, now, before i decide to punish you for your treacherous sins.” within a minute, she scrambled upon the dirt, clawing her way so that she was met with an inspector’s sight. hela untangled herself from her masterful clothing, basking her body in nudity, as she climbed upon her face, sitting on it as you eagerly began to swipe your tongue through her folds, sucking earnestly at her clit.

agatha found that to be her moment, she craned her head down, swiping her fingers through your self accumulated slick, watching with a transparent gaze as your essence coated the pads of her skin. she delved her face closer, inhaling the immoral scent that radiated from your most intimate parts, tracing your lips with her explorative tongue. the witch hummed, as though she had succeeded at a spell, gasping herself as she felt your hand comb down and pull at her messy locks.

hela ground against your face, half suffocating you, just the way that she liked it. you moaned into her pulsating flesh, inserting your primitive tongue inside her, roaming around the dark caves that staved many secrets, feeling how each one perfectly moulded her soul, and made her into the dependant warrior that she was. it was unarguable, she was a difficult person to get along with, but you could feel the impact that her younger years had shaped her; she had been taught to be this version of death.

but ironically, there was much life in her as she made huffs that she often saved for the episodic scenery of the battlefield, huffing her perky chest out as she felt valhalla erupt in her abdomen, urging her to sink onto your tongue, and use you for her own advantage. agatha was admittedly not doing as bad of a job as you had inwardly predicted, she was eager to please, specifically more so, since it were you, hecate that she was intimately tending to.

you moaned up into hela, lurching your bottom half down and further unto agatha’s in inquisitive face, sending ripples of sound up through the raven haired woman’s sly body, stringing more leverage over her, in more ways than one. a shout bellowed from your chest, as you felt tendrils of aura surround the interior of your stomach, poking it to no end, sending you closer to the edge. witches, you’d show this one in particular.

harkness squealed as she felt a heat penetrate her entire being. she was a witch, you were a deity, that was perception enough that there was a range of power between the two of yours abilities. “hecate.” it was the name that her ancestors had taught her, and thus, the woman used it, trying to mush her not so innocent face back into your pussy in attempts to shut her own self up.

it felt as though the bifrost was soaring through her, sending her to another land; hela came onto your face, mumbling incoherent, presumably dominant, words to herself as you used your oral appendage to help clean her up. “by the dead, are you good at that.” it was far from the first time that she had told you that. agatha was on the route to her second orgasm, the bliss that you intuitively blessed her with had rendered her to a first.

she however continued to bring you to the overall whits of your sexual expression, introducing her fingers into your nest, watching euphorically as they entered you, and sunk delightfully through your folds, being swallowed into the spongey abyss. hela dismounted from your face, tracking over to position herself from behind agatha, turning up the ends of her skirt, throwing the supporting material over her ass, grabbing the cheeks as she pressed a bite into one globe.

the goddess sunk her face into the subsequent area that had been indulged in privacy for far too long, stroking up the ways of agatha’s slick cunt, nibbling upon her clit as the maleficent light you bestowed continued working inside of her. shaking your head, a finish line was installed as you raced towards it, surpassing the line as you pushed the simple witch’s face closer to your heat, coating her lips with your personal gold, forcing the pressure within her to explode.

her body shook as a violent flurry, which was surely anything natural, reckoned her body. juices spurted out behind her, coating hela’s torturous tongue as she pulled away, silently comparing her taste to your own. once more, in an instant, hela was robed once more, as she steadied your knees, pulling you up to your trembling feet. “now that is what i would call a divine intervention.” a smirk riddled your lips as you stood, your robe still torn, exposing the curve, and the entirety to your beautiful breasts; agatha felt as though she were in a trance.

you were so perfect, like all the tales had foretold. hela shook her head at your incensed pun, rolling her eyes at your consistent humour. “i liked this one, she was less bold than the others that we have previously visited.” noted the goddess of death, stepping back and dragging you back with her as a beam of light cascaded down through the sky, ripping the pair of you away from your current destination.

once it disappeared, the pair of you were gone; vanished. though evidence of your presence remained, agatha licked her lips, tasting you, as she simultaneously felt the affect that the pair of you had endured upon her between her dampened legs. it was a day that the stray witch would never forget, it was indeed, a memory that would surpass through her mind as she gained control, and thus more power.

[howtohero]

#249 The Death of Your Nemesis

(Note: This is Part Two of a three part story. Part One. Part Three.)

Uh. Ok, so your nemesis has died. The person you’ve gone head to head with for years and years. The enemy of yours who, without fail, always strives to make things as personal as possible, is gone... Good! You’ll be better off, and the world will be better off with them. You can finally dedicate your time to dealing with more systemic ills in your neighborhood. No longer will you have to alienate everyone you love because there’s always the slim chance that on any given day your nemesis could discover who you are and take vengeance on your friends and family. When your nemesis dies, that’s a reason to party. You’re free of them! Forever! Huzzah! You may not have been able to kill them due to some complicated moral code that only allows you to kill their henchmen, but that doesn’t mean you can’t celebrate their demise!

(Oooooook buddy, why don’t sit this one out. You’re going through a lot right now.)

I’m fine! Why shouldn’t I be fine! My nemesis, Dr. Brainwave, a convicted supervillain who was living, rent-free, in my basement, is dead. I’m free of him. I’m doing great!

(All right, totally. We can all see that you’re handling this with dignity and poise. Why don’t you let me deal with this one.)

Well I suppose I have been training you as my apprentice so that you could one day write blog posts on your own...

(Sure, that’s what our relationship is. So why don’t you go outside, take a breather, and let me handle today’s entry.

What the man says is true. Dr. Brainwave is dead and I guess, technically speaking, he was our nemesis. He’s threatened our lives more times than we count. {We are notoriously bad counters though.} He’s destroyed our home, our place of work, our garden filled with one-of-a-kind miracle veggies. {Immortality radishes, vampiric celery, tasty kale.} And yet, he’s always been there, and I think we kind of just assumed he always would be. You see, a nemesis is not just another supervillain that you’ve got to fight with alarming frequency. They’re a major part of your life. Oftentimes your nemesis will know you better than anybody else in your social circle. Sure, they only took the time to get to know you on this deep level so that they could inflict all manner of psychological torture upon you, but still, it’s kind of nice that they invested that time in you.

A superhero’s relationship with their nemesis is always going to be complicated. You’ll usually see them more than you see your family. You’ll see them at their highest {when they believe that they’ve killed you} and at their lowest {surprisingly enough, after they’ve succeeded in killing you and find their life to be devoid of all meaning and purpose} you’ll occasionally find yourself fighting alongside them and yeah, in some twisted way, you’re going to form a kind of meaningful relationship with them. So what are you even supposed to do when they’ve died? Granted, you’re not as fanatically dependent on them for your continued existence and purpose as they are on you. There will always be crimes to stop and evil to vanquish. But any superhero would be hard-pressed to deny that their lives would be a little bit emptier without their nemesis. Perhaps that’s the real reason why so few superheroes actually kill their nemeses.

If you feel like you need to mourn the passing of your nemesis, that’s ok. You should allow yourself to space to do that. Do something that they would’ve loved. Hold a {vacant} bridge hostage, kick a {robot, stuffed, already dead} puppy into the sun, burn yourself in effigy! If you’re worried about getting attacked by other supervillains if you attend a funeral or memorial service for your nemesis don’t worry! Supervillains usually are not friends with one another. That funeral is gonna be hella empty. You can go there with no problem. Besides, supervillain funerals have been poorly attended ever since Lady Richter used her “funeral” as an opportunity to drop many of her fellow supervillains into a bottomless chasm. Ever since then, supervillains have had a hard time believing that any of their colleagues are actually dead. If any other supervillains attend your nemesis’ funeral, they’ll be lugging around giant ladders in case a bottomless chasm opens up beneath them, and they will be too exhausted to fight you.

The whole How To Hero crew {me, Parentheses Guy, Zach, Lawyer Guy, Dr. Brainwave’s Greatest Shame, Diego A. Wayghosts, Todd The Bomb-Disposal Bot} attended Dr. Brainwave’s funeral and, lo and behold, the only other person in attendance was Dr. Brainwave’s other nemesis, Professor Brain-Scrambler. {There was also, of course, a large contingent of mutant alligators.} He actually spoke quiet beautifully about his mad scientist colleague, after which we pulled him over to the side and told him that he was a hack and that he could suck it, in line with Dr. Brainwave’s final wishes. All in all it was a very emotional 2 am-4 am. {Supervillain funerals almost exclusively take place during this time which is colloquially known as “the witching hour.”} The funeral home was a bit cold, and I would say it was definitely haunted, but overall, it was a pretty solid funeral I’d say. 

Once you’ve spent some mourning the loss of an important and ever-present figure in your life, there is some housekeeping that you need to do. Reach out to your nemesis’ loved ones and express your condolences. The last thing you want is for their loved ones to vow revenge on you and beginning the cycle anew. If you can, talk with their loved ones, estranged family members, sidekicks, or unholy creations and make them understand that you were not responsible for the death of their loved ones. The quicker you do this the better. Blaming a superhero for the death of a loved one is 17th most common supervillain origin story. {number 68 is having your coal company run out of business by windmill farms but number 33 will blow your mind.} In our case, we sat down with Dr. Brainwave’s legions of mutant alligators and several hours of teeth baring and jaw snapping, a fragile peace agreement was forged. {The alligators for their part, behaved remarkably well. Not a single bared tooth or snapped jaw among them!}

Once that is taken care of you must attend to the rest of your nemesis’ personal affects. Their goons will be directionless, and this is a great time to many of them off the board. Have your friends in law enforcement scoop them up before they can find employment under a different supervillain. Or, if you really wanna get wild, invent a new identity for yourself, pose as a new supervillain, take control of your nemesis’ cronies, and then have them perform tasks that seem like crimes, but actually good deeds. Stuff like, “this old woman is an ancient evil spirt, help her cross the street” or “this is my territory now, nobody else is allowed to commit a crime here. If you see another villain doing crimes here, stop them!” Arrange operations against your nemesis’ lairs and begin systemically dismantling their operation. Since they were your nemesis you have the unique advantage of knowing where they’re likely to have kept most of their really cool stuff. And remember, in the souvenir game, it is first come, first serve. So lead the operation against their main fortress or stronghold yourself and claim all of those spleen-discombobulators and parasite helmets for yourself! For us, that just meant going into our own basement and, honestly, reclaiming a lot of stuff we thought we’d lost! We also blew up all of Dr. Brainwave’s stuff, as per his last will and testament. [Hi, again, a hastily scrawled note scratched into a chalkboard that says “destroy all of my Earthly things in the same manner in which I died” is not a will.] Well, we did it! And it was awesome! We didn’t even need to buy any explosives, it’s astounding how much of his stuff was already made out of bombs! {You know what? It’s actually pretty alarming how many explosives there were just under our house this entire time.})

Wait, how many bombs were there?

(I thought I told you to take the day off because you were being weird!)

You’re being weird! How many bombs did you find in Dr. Brainwave’s room?

(I don’t know, probably around 660. What do you think Curly?)

{I’d say around 664, maybe 665.}

Oh you have got to be kidding me.

(See, you’re being weird again. Buhbye! Now, any real superhero can’t exactly be without a nemesis. People will start to talk. “Oh yeah, that guy? He’s not really very superheroic, he doesn’t even have one evil person whose sole purpose in life is to destroy them. Poor guy.” So you need to find a new nemesis! {We recommend reading our advice for finding your first nemesis.} Try calling up all of your old enemies and see if they’d be interested in engaging in an eternal struggle between good and evil with you. Or, just go through the supervillain phonebook and pick a name that kind of seems like an inverse of your own name. {Or, if it’s still too soon for you to even think about replacing your dear departed nemesis, just prank call about of villains until you’re all cheered up.} Without Dr. Brainwave gone, we’ve obviously needed to start looking for a new supervillain correspondent... and, well... I guess just take a look at some of the auditions we’ve received.

Al “Da Boss” Marconi: “Ayyyy, da best way to save da world is to stab a twerp right between the eyes and laugh as he bleeds out on the pavement!” {Factually incorrect.}

Dr. Python: “So this job comes with a free room right? My last roommate turned out to be Ultiman so obviously that wasn’t going to work out and I kind of very badly need a new place to live.” {Seems to believe that living with Ultiman is a bad idea because he is a superhero but living with us is fine. Which leads us to believe he either doesn’t really get who we are, or does not respect us.}

Giorgio the Evil Mime: “...” {This guy was Zach’s top choice, but he is clearly grieving and not in his right mind. He seems to have forgotten that our supervillain correspondent needs to be able to speak and make intrusive comments on our blog posts.}

As you can see, we have been having some trouble, but luckily we’ve got interviews with Jhonny McBarn-Burner, Mustard Man and the dreaded Karalaxus who is actually a very pleasant guy once you agree to give up your free will and join his horde of mindless zombies. So hopefully one of those guys pans out.)

Stop everything! We don’t need a new supervillain correspondent. (Dude, for real, you need to take a break. You’re going a bit cuckoo you know?) No, I’m serious, and your face is a bit cuckoo actually so how about you step the heck off.  (Rude.) We don’t need to replace Brainwave, because I don’t think he’s actually gone {What are you saying! Wait, did we actually all die in the explosion? Was he the only to survive? Is he mourning us? Which of us did he mourn the most? Me?} No, I believe that he’s dead. But I also believe that he died on purpose. (Well sure, we all saw him unrepentant supervillainously sacrifice himself so that we could live!) I don’t think he sacrificed himself at all actually. I think he planned on dying, and that he planned on benefitting from it in a way that none of us could have foreseen.  (Ok, you’re gonna have to walk us through that.) Ok, so remember when we went through Brainwave’s stuff, we found a grand total of 665 bombs right?  (I guess?) {We are notoriously bad at counting.} True, but I think we got it right this time. I think that there were only 665 explosive devices in Brainwave’s lair/our basement. [Only?] Yes only! What kind of fanatical supervillain builds so many explosives but stops before hitting 666! The devil’s number! I think he did have 666 bombs, until he mailed one to our office! (Wait, what? You think Brainwave sent us that bomb? That seems like a stretch.) Oh? Does it? The most evil person that we are acquainted with sent us a bomb? That seem awfully farfetched to you? (Well, when you put it like that...) And he was wearing rocket boots the whole time! We could’ve strapped the bomb to one of his rockets and launched it through the skylight without him having to carry it! {That reminds me, our landlord called and said that we definitely lost our security deposit because of that skylight.} (Ah DANG IT!!!!) I think that he waited until the timer was low to reveal that he was wearing rocket boots so he could make his sacrifice play. And hey, he knew that the time on the bomb was displaying the wrong time and yet he knew exactly when the bomb was actually going to go off. That isn’t suspicious to any of you??? (Look, if I made a big deal about everything I found suspicious our coworkers we’d never get anything done!) {Is this about my outstanding deal with the devil?} (No, actually.) And Parenthesis Guy, you even said that the funeral home seemed haunted during the funeral! What if that was Dr. Brainwave! What if he devised this whole scenario so he could die and become a ghost!  (Why would he do that? And doesn’t this all seem a little convoluted.) Yeah, dude, he’s a supervillain! Something the rest of you seemed to have lost sight of. Of course he would come up with an absurdly complicated plan to become a ghost. From a supervillain’s perspective, being a ghost would be way better than being a frail old human with the physique of a scientist.  (I don’t know man, I’m just not seeing it.) What! It makes total sense. He freaks us out with a bomb. Classic supervillain move. He puts us on an emotional rollercoaster by making us think he sacrificed himself to save us, causing us to question everything we thought we knew about the sort of person he was. All while shedding his physical form in order to commit crimes as a ghost. It’s a classic Brainwave move!  (I think maybe you should lie down buddy. You’re starting to go a bit crazy. And not in a fun way like the rest of us.) {Yeah when you make us look like the sane ones you’ve gotta throw in the towel man.} Yeah. Yeah ok, maybe you’re right. (Yeah, maybe we’re right. Let’s call it day, we’ve still gotta go feed the mutant alligators.) You guys go ahead I’ll catch up. {Ok, remember to put on your armor before you enter the alligator pen this time.} Yeah, yeah I’ll remember. All right Brainwave, the others are gone. I know you’re here.

<Uch fine. You got me.> You absolute bas- <Listen, you’re right. I’m every name you’re about to call me. But can we do this later? Right now, I need your help.>

[justanothermagicalbeing]

Worth it

Prompts: 5. “Don’t. Don’t do that crooked smile thing.” 12. “Options? We have two: We’re screwed and we’re more screwed.”

Pairing: ChrisxReader (not romantically, great friends) Words: 1,527

(I absolutely loved writing this - one of my favorites! I haven’t written that much where the reader isn’t romantically involved with someone, but I hope it’s still good. Also, the spells are from Charmed - so I don’t own them or anything. I really hope you’ll all enjoy this!)

Living in the Warren Manor was always interesting. No matter how many demons, warlocks, and other evil creatures the Charmed Ones and their children vanquished, more always came – and it always ended with good winning, of course.

You had only lived there for a couple of weeks because of your parents being on a long and dangerous trip, but you were already like family to all of the Halliwells. You were especially close with Chris; the two of you always had fun together, shared several similarities, and understood each other well. He also helped you with your magic, which you had a hard time controlling due to it being bound, when you were a child.

Today was a very odd day, since you and Chris were all alone in the manor – something which seldom happened in that big house. And because of this, Chris thought it would be an excellent time to train. You, on the other hand, did not really agree.

Y/N: Do I have to practice today? After last time I really don’t feel like trying again.

Just thinking about last time made your cheeks red of embarrassment. What was troubling you was the Vanishing Spell. You had been supposed to make the few bad left overs in the fridge vanish. Instead, the entire fridge had vanished, and they had had to buy another one. Maybe that spell just was not meant for you?

Chris: Come on, Y/N. You won’t get any better if you don’t keep on trying. It’ll be fine, I promise. I have a really good feeling today.  

You sighed and followed him to the attic, the most magical place of the Warren Manor. Or maybe it was the basement that was the most magical place? Or under the chandelier? To rephrase: you followed Chris to the attic, one of the most magical places of the Warren Manor.

Chris: I have an excellent thing for you to vanish. As you’ve probably noticed already, Paige is in her creative mood again, constantly trying to make new spells and potions. This is one of many which turned out wrongly.

He pointed at a large dark stain on the floor.

Y/N: Okay, so what would you like me to do?

Chris: A lot of things, thanks for asking.

As he said his joke, he made his famous crooked smile. You just rolled your eyes and shook his head.

Y/N: You do know that you have to focus as well, if you don’t want anything to go wrong, right?

Chris: Sorry, Y/N. Just couldn’t help it. Now, squat and focus only on the stain.

You did as he said, having trouble believing in the fact that nothing would go wrong.

Chris: Then close your eyes and imagine what will happen, when you say the spell. Try to imagine it disappearing.

Once again, you did as he said, fully concentrating on the stain and his words.

Chris: Okay, believe in yourself. Trust your magic. And then – say the spell.

You took a deep breath and said the words, you now knew so well.

Y/N: Let the Object of Objection Become but a Dream As I cause the Seen to be Unseen

After a few seconds, you slowly closed your eyes, afraid of the result. But to your great surprise, the stain was gone. Your eyes were only on the place where the stain had been. Had been! You could not believe it.

Y/N: I did it! I actually did it. I made the stain disappear.

Chris: I think you did a little bit more than that…

His cryptic words made you raise your head. You were pretty sure that your heart skipped more than just a beat at that moment.

Y/N: Oh… My… God…

Everything was gone. As in everything! The entire attic had completely vanished.

You quickly rose to your feet.

Y/N: No, no no. What have I done?

Chris: Look, let’s just calm down right.

Y/N: Calm down?! I made everything vanish. Everything in the Charmed Ones’ attic. You have any idea how many important magical things are in here?

A terrible thought crossed your mind. When you looked behind Chris, your worst fear overcame you. You had made the Book of Shadows vanish.

Y/N: Oh no! Why didn’t you remove the most magical and important and irreplaceable object from this room, before you let an amateur say this stupid spell!

Chris, rather calm, turned around to see, or not see, the Book. How come he did not freak out as much as you did? He turned to you once again.

Chris: Hey, it’ll be okay, right. Let’s just go through our options and then

Y/N: Options? We have two: We’re screwed and we’re more screwed.

You were almost about to jump out of your skin. The only solution to this problem would be a reversal spell – but you had just made that spell vanish along with the rest of the Book. And seeing as you’ve never managed to learn the Vanishing spell, you did not really know the reversal spell.

Unless…

You could make one yourself?

Your eyes met Chris’.

Chris: You’re thinking something. What is it?

At first, you did not want to tell him. After everything that had just happened, it was quite a long shot that you would be able to reverse it. But you had to do something. This was your doing, and you had to make things right again.

Y/N: Well… I was just thinking that… maybe I could create a reversal spell myself?

He nodded for himself, clearly considering the idea. Then he lit up.

Chris: That sounds like a great idea, Y/N. Now, once again you’ll have to focus. But this time, I want you to believe in yourself.

He took your hands and looked you deep in the eyes.

Chris: I know that you can do this Y/N. But you have to know that as well in order for this to work. Trust yourself – you’re able to do so much more than you believe.

At first, you were astonished by his words. He really believed in you that much? You took a deep breath – it was time to prove him right.

Just like before, you closed your eyes and began to focus, thinking about several words that would have to be in the spell. And, of course, words that would rime.

Then just like that, you had it. You took one last breath and pronounced the words.

Y/N: Let the Object of Objection return, So that its existence may be reaffirmed

You were too afraid to open your eyes. But then you heard Chris whispering a wow, and your eyes instantly opened.

It was all there. Everything was back. The Book, the record player, the doll house. Everything was back to normal.

Y/N: I did it! I did it Chris!

The smile on your face was growing larger than you had ever thought possible. You had performed a spell successfully. And not just any spell – your own spell!

You turned towards Chris and gave him a good big hug.

Y/N: I can’t believe I actually did that.

Chris: I told you that you could do it. You know what: I never doubted you, not for a second.

You smiled gratefully to him. Then you noticed something showing up from his pocket. It looked like an old piece of paper.

Y/N: What’s that?

Chris instantly changed as you pointed towards his pocket.

Chris: Ehm… That’s nothing. Ehm… Let’s go out to celebrate, right? Ice cream perhaps?

You could not make out why he was hiding a piece of paper in his pocket from you. But you had a plan.

Y/N: Sure, let’s go.

As he moved past you, you snapped the paper out from his pocket. What it said was something you never would have guessed.

It was a reversal spell.

Y/N: So much for never doubting me, ha?

For a second or two, Chris actually looked embarrassed. But then his famous crooked smile showed up again.

Chris: You can’t blame me for having a backup. I mean, you did make everything up here disappear. I just realized that if you thought everything was gone, you would be pushed just enough to succeed.

Y/N: I hate you.

Chris: You love me.

Y/N: No, I’m pretty sure I hate you.

He just kept standing there, crooked smile and all.

Y/N: Don’t. Don’t do that crooked smile thing.

Chris: Come on, Y/N. It worked, didn’t it?

You could not exactly disagree on that. But you would not give in yet.

Chris: Fine – I’ll buy you just as much ice cream as you can eat, happy?

Y/N: Very!

You jumped the entire way down from the attic, happy for both the spell and the ice cream. And despite being a bit more discreet, Chris was thrilled as well. He might have had some security, but he really had believed in you. And the feeling of pride, when you had succeeded had been huge. That feeling was much more worth than all the money he would have to pay for ice cream. Just like your friendship. One that would never fade.

[pete-and-pete]

Scott Kelly Apologizes for Quoting Winston Churchill

Scott Kelly, the well-known astronaut, has apologized on Twitter for quoting Winston Churchill.

“Did not mean to offend by quoting Churchill,” Kelly wrote on his Twitter page on October 7, 2018. “My apologies. I will go and educate myself further on his atrocities, racist views which I do not support. My point was we need to come together as one nation. We are all Americans. That should transcend partisan politics.”

Eight hours before, Kelly had tweeted the following: “One of the greatest leaders of modern times, Sir Winston Churchill said, ‘in victory, magnanimity.’ I guess those days are over.” He didn’t make it clear why he used the quote.

Here are those tweets:

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Who is Scott Kelly? According to his bio, “Scott Kelly is a former military fighter pilot and test pilot, an engineer, a retired astronaut, and a retired U.S. Navy captain. A veteran of four space flights, Kelly commanded the International Space Station (ISS) on three expeditions and was a member of the yearlong mission to the ISS. In October 2015, he set the record for the total accumulated number of days spent in space, the single longest space mission by an American astronaut. He lives in Houston, Texas.”

The Churchill quote derives from a fuller quote from the former prime minister that reads, “In War: Resolution. In Defeat: Defiance. In Victory. Magnanimity. In Peace. Goodwill.” According to Forbes, Churchill tried to show goodwill to vanquished opponents; for example, he delivered the eulogy at the funeral of Neville Chamberlain, whom he succeeded as prime minister.

Why did Kelly apologize?

Here’s what you need to know:

The Thread Under Scott Kelly’s Original Tweet Filled Up With Anti-Churchill Comments

pic.twitter.com/YO092hpdOu

— Troll hunter (@Tr0Ilhunter) October 7, 2018

Some people filled Kelly’s comment thread – under his original Churchill tweet – with negative commentary about the British prime minister, with some bringing new Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh into it. Here are some examples:

“Sir with all due respect, Winston Churchill is just as good as Hitler.”

“With due respect Astronaut Kelly, Winston Churchill is NOT the greatest leaders of the Modern times especially when he was responsible for the Bengal Famine of 1943. Not many in the West perhaps know this. I would probably say he was one of the greatest Orators of modern times.”

“A mass murderer can never be a great leader.”

“He never had a great reputation here in Ireland, neither too in India, Pakistan, Bangladesh etc.”

“Considering what kind of man Kavanaugh showed himself to be when put to the test, they should take their ‘victory’ and hope everyone forgets about what they saw and heard.”

“Churchill was a mass murderer and a racist, Scott.”

“After the disgustingly dishonest charade we were just subjected to, I ain’t thinking magnanimously. To subject anyone to unsubstantiated slurs was bad enough, but this was an attack on civility & the nation. The process has been forever tainted.”

People Filled the Thread Under Kelly’s Apology With Angry Comments Too

#SaturdayMorning exploring Earth road tripping! Made it to Colby, Kansas (hometown of my sister-in-law @GabbyGiffords’ mom). I tried my whole #yearinspace to get a picture of you. Had to come a little closer, but I got you now! pic.twitter.com/Zfm4e5DiYz

— Scott Kelly (@StationCDRKelly) October 6, 2018

After Kelly apologized, other people said he should not have done so. Here are some examples of the comments on that thread:

“Please don’t apologize. Winston Churchill, like all of us, had serious human failings. But unlike most of us—he possessed genuine greatness. And that greatness may have saved freedom & democracy. Ask the Twitter scolds to name a hero or heroine who didn’t have serious flaws.”

“I just don’t understand the purity demands from grown adults – demanding that historical figures be perfect, which is to say, not quite human. To be human is to be flawed, and also, historical figures are people of their time — holding some views we find ugly and backward now.”

“Scott Kelly, please read a good biography of Churchill before making pronouncements on his ‘atrocities’ and ‘racist views’. He committed no atrocities and his views on race 100-years ago cannot be judged by today’s standards–generational chauvinism. Are you lost . . .in space?”

“What a disappointing climb-down. Winston Churchill stood up to Adolf Hitler and his courageous leadership saved the whole world from Nazi conquest. When he did so, in 1940 (a year before the US entered the war), only Churchill’s Britain stood in the way of the Axis winning WW2.”

Some had nuanced views of the matter.

“I’m massively conflicted about Churchill. A reactionary, racist, imperialist that thought people like me should be made to work until we drop and be happy for it. But much of the world owes him a huge debt. He was what was necessary at the time and was a genius when well managed.”

source https://heavy.com/news/2018/10/scott-kelly-winston-churchill-apologizes-astronaut/