#i had laptop issues

[hayden-christensen]

All I am surrounded by is fear, and dead men.

@pscentral event 20: antagonists ↳ DARTH VADER from STAR WARS

[1alchemistart]

i realize i never posted this on here lol, here it is!

[thelassoway]

Jason Sudeikis as Ted Lasso Seasons 1-3 » T-shirts

[0fps]

BLADE ❖ death approaches until your sin is cleansed, my vengeance will pursue you

[derogatorydennis]

Glenn Howerton at the 75th Emmy Awards

[linuxmint-official]

arch linux my be-loathed

[talentforlying]

priest: i don't, ah, quite know what to say to you. if you are in such terrible danger, why are you taking it all so calmly? constantine: hmh! i dunno, father. i had a bloke beaten to a pulp earlier this evening. that sound calm to you? priest: you did what...? constantine: i must've been off me bleedin' rocker. i've never done anything like it before in me life, y'know?

constantine: but there's header gets his guts blown out, and george is stickin' his head in the noose, and helen gets ... jesus, then friggin' sarah bites me head off — ! everything's coming to bits in me hands and it's so easy to just see red and now, shit, they could've killed the tosser for all i know! and now i'm just like the bastards i've hated all me life! kill him! fire him! close them down! piss all over him! screw you, i can do whatever i want! i so much as blink and you're dead, pal! i'm in charge!! ...

constantine: 'scuse me, father. i'm always like this when i don't get me own way. — hellblazer #81, "rake at the gates of hell pt. 4"

babygirl you are just....so, sooooo offputting. (and grieving, and guilty, and terrified, but yeah: offputting.)

anyway, it's issues like this one that remind me why i kind of hesitate over some of the retcons in the recent spurrier runs, like the one with him now having opened dream's pouch of sand and stolen some before they even met. because like, it's easy enough to look at john constantine now — with 70 years of worst possible choices and unresolved trauma crystallizing underneath his skin to cover up all the soft, hopeful bits where he's used to getting hit — and assign him arbiter of ill intentions, magus of wasted potential, saint of shit choices, but man . . . he was new to this, once. he was still new to this 80 issues in.

80 issues in, and he's not used to losing friends yet; he even has time enough between catastrophes to grieve each individual one. still has enough left to live for at this stage to necessitate running and hiding, instead of bodily throwing himself at the problem like he learns to later, or sitting apathetically by to do nothing except smoke and watch the world fall apart when he finally gives up. fuck, he still apologizes.

and you're telling me this guy, this soppy wet cat motherfucker hiding from the devil in a church basement, so guilty over not knowing what happened to the guy that he paid people (paid chas, so chas could pay people) to attack that the bottle he's holding in this scene isn't even his second or third........this guy's past, more innocent self lied right to the face of DREAM OF THE ENDLESS and got away with it?

hm. i just don't know about all that.

[riverofrainbows]

Lately I'm hearing a lot about PDA and autism (PDA = pathological demand avoidance) and it's very good that people become more aware of it and are able to learn more about their own needs. However i often see it framed as like a type of autism, as in PDA autism that's just this thing that happens randomly.

But it isn't just a flavour of autism or something that comes from who-knows-what, it's a trauma response. To having forced yourself to do so much shit that goes against your needs, to feeling like you have to/having to force yourself to do things that go over your capacity, that disregard your needs and do harm to you. Including things where people don't even know their own needs and can't communicate them.

It's a trauma response caused by a lack of autonomy and accommodations (from yourself for whatever reason and your environment). To the point where having to do anything, hearing any demand causes this message of doom to your nervous system

And there is a very simple but not easy solution to it, with the potential of even a cure: Do not force yourself to do anything until your nervous system has healed. Now this is very hard to be able to do, which is the difficult part, because most of us aren't in an environment where we can do that, often have to work etc to survive and don't have people support us for a few years while we do not acquiesce to any demand. Additionally, many of us don't even know how to honor our needs because we trampled all over them for years, were forced to mask them and might not even know what they are or how to recognise them in ourselves.

A possible way to at least some healing of our nervous system is getting to know our needs and working on meeting them better, to try and build down the mask and only conciously use it where necessary but for example not at home or in a safe space, and try to have as many safe spaces to unmask as possible. You might only be able to start while completely alone but even that helps. Another point is decomposition time, soup time as i call it. Where we take however much time we have available, preferably at least a couple days, whenever we can, and do not force ourselves to do anything, even hobbies or getting out of pyjamas, except staying alive, and just drift like driftwood. This also massively helps with autistic burnout.

One additional tipp to recognising our suppressed needs and wants is that when you think "Oh i want this" but immediately shut yourself down: try to recognise this happening and ask yourself "Why can't i do this?" and if you don't have a good reason why not, try doing the thing you want. Might be something as simple as a juice packet or be some leftover rule from childhood. Similar for "I don't look forward to that": if you don't have a reason why you have to do it, and do it exactly this way, consider not doing it. For example you don't have to go to an outing you are very uncomfortable at. You don't have to do the dishes a certain way even tho it's awful sensory wise. Try finding those small impulses and listening to them. It gets easier over time.

This PDA trauma response is also one of the factors of executive dysfunction. Especially for things like when we can't even do our own hobbies or plans we had that we enjoy. Other reasons for executive dysfunction are difficulty transition tasks, sensory issues that make us avoid a task, pending decisions related to the tasks, unknown elements of a task, or not wanting to interrupt the current activity such as listening to music or watching a show (especially since these are big tools for escapism and distraction/coping to keep emotional distress at bay or otherwise aid in emotional regulation).

Btw this whole essay is built on my own experiences, i am not a psychologist or professionally qualified in some other way. So do take this with some critical thinking as my sources are "it's in my head" and we should never take (mental) health advice on the internet without thinking about whether it makes sense and applies to us, and do additional research if any questions or doubts or further thoughts come up.

[copper-skulls]

this is really only an overworked thumbnail but it's pretty cute and this might me take forever to finish this if I ever do so take this

...nooo ii haven't been listening to madeon on repeat for the past few days absolutely not.

"why do you think it might take forever" oh I'm attempting a truly stupid-ass palette

i frankly, do not know how to approach this so even this stage will take. A WHILE

[dacrylite]

portrait of adam using that one photo (yk the one)

[werewolf-transgenderism]

I hate replacing electronics I think they should last for way longer

[kachikirby]

Kirby: Mysterious Incident on the Pupupu Train! - Chapter 1: The Railroad King Has Arrived!

One Day, Bandanna Waddle Dee rushed into King Dedede’s office (or what he called his nap room).

“Great King! Great King! You have a visitor!”

As he always did when he awakened, Dedede yawned as he spoke.

“A visitor? There aren’t any visitors scheduled for today. They’re awfully brazen to come here without an appointment. Kick ‘em out!”

“But they said they wanted to speak to your highness no matter what...”

“For the love of-! I don’t know who they are or where they’re from...”

“He said his name was the Railroad King. Apparently, he wants to speak to you about railroads.”

“...what? A king?”

Dedede was intrigued. The self-proclaimed ruler of Dream Land was weak to the word “king”.

“If a king says that they want to meet with me, then there’s no reason to send him away.”

“Yeah...”

“Let’s go meet them.”

Dedede eagerly put on a new gown and headed to the guest’s waiting room.

~~~~~~~~

It was an elegantly dressed gentleman who bowed his head graciously. He was small in stature, but rotund and had a fine mustache. His eyes looked gentle, but were also sharp.

“It’s an honor to meet you, King Dedede. My name is York.”

“There’s no need to be so formal! The both of us are kings! Don’t be so shy!”

Dedede said in high spirits. At this, York laughed.

“Oh, no. I might be called the Railroad King, but that is only a nickname. I’m not a real king, like your majesty.”

“...a nickname?”

“Correct. I was called that because I own railroads all across the galaxy.”

“...what?”

Now knowing that this wasn’t a real king, Dedede gained a bored expression.

“So? What does a fake king want with me?”

Despite being called fake, York did not become angry. On the contrary, he was smiling more and more.

“I have a request regarding a railroad.”

“A railroad...”

“Correct. I would like to ask for permission to construct a magnificent galactic railway, the Pupupu Train, to connect Dream Land to the resort planet, Baspa.”

“...Baspa?”

Dedede leaned forward.

“Do you know about it, your highness?”

“Of course! It’s that big-name planet with a ton of gorgeous hotels and restaurants with all of the best cooks, right?”

“That’s correct. But that’s not all. Baspa has many beautiful lakes, forests, seas, and spacious hot springs. It’s the best place you can go on vacation...”

“I don’t care about the lakes and forests! There are a lot of those in Dream Land, too! The most important thing is food! Gorgeous food is the only thing that’s befitting for me!”

“If that’s so, then I’m sure your highness will be satisfied.”

York narrowed his eyes.

“Baspa has Japanese food, western food, Chinese food, and desert, all made by top-notch chefs. Everyone will put their skills to great use to welcome your highness.”

“I see. It lives up to its reputation.”

King Dedede said with a face that seemed to melt away.

“I’ve always wanted to go there, but I gave up because it was too far away. If we have a railroad, it’ll be a straight line from Dream Land to Baspa!”

“Correct. The company train is equipped with a dining room, cozy bedrooms, and is gorgeous. It promises comfy travels befitting of your highness.”

“I love it! Start on construction right away!”

With that, Dedede and York firmly shook hands.

~~~~~~~~

After York left, Bandana Waddle Dee returned to Dedede’s side and spoke to him with worry.

“Your highness, that king of the railroad is...”

“Yup! He may not be a real king, but he sure does give you what you want. I think he really is gonna build a railroad connecting Dream Land to Baspa.”

“Yes, he explained it to us as well. It seems he didn’t just invite you, but us as well.”

“Oh, is that so? Well, I need someone to take care of me, you know!”

Dedede laughed in a carefree way, but Bandana had a sullen expression.

“Not only that, but it seems that a lot of the residents of Dream Land were invited for the commemorative opening of the Pupupu Train...”

“Hoho? That York guy’s really generous.”

“Isn’t that a bit too good...?”

Upon finally noticing Bandana’s expression, King Dedede asked.

“What do you mean? Why do you look so glum?”

“I’m worried. I heard that traveling by train is a very luxurious and difficult thing to do. And yet, a lot of residents were invited... doesn’t that mean that York is planning something?”

“Of course he has a plan! He’s eager to please my great self! The idea of entertaining me is all he can think about! Because of that, he wants to try that by inviting my subjects and the residents!”

“Is... that right...?”

Upon seeing how depressed Bandana looked, Dedede became sullen.

“What? You look bored even though you’re going on a wonderful vacation. If you don’t want to come, you can be the caretaker for the castle. I’ll take the other Waddle Dees with me!”

Bandana raised his face and replied with a panicked tone.

“N-no! I’m sorry, I’m going! I want to go!”

“Hmph. You should’ve said that from the beginning. Make sure to get ready for the trip. I’m gonna need a change of clothes, and a lot of ‘em. It’s a resort planet, so only the most gorgeous fashion is going to fit there! Since there’s hot springs, I’m gonna need a yukata, too. And of course I can’t forget my swimsuit, sunglasses, and swim ring!”

“Y-yes, your highness!”

Bandana bowed his head and rushed out of the room.

~~~~~~~~

The news of the Pupupu Train was a big fuss for the Waddle Dees.

“Hooray! We’re also invited!”

“I’m really happy! I’ve never been on a train before!”

“It’s my first time, too. I wonder what train travel is like.”

“I’m looking forward to it! That’s right! I’ll make a travel itinerary and decide on the plans in detail!”

When the excited Waddle Dees saw Bandana returning from the king’s room, they looked puzzled.

“Ah, Bandana-senpai...”

“Is something wrong? Why do you look so down...?”

The Waddle Dees started to look worried.

“Did something happen? By any chance, were you scolded by his highness...?”

“N-no! Not at all!”

Bandana raised his head with a bright smile.

“I can’t help but look forward to it. Now, let’s all start preparing for the trip!”

“Yes, sir!”

Bandana turned his back to everyone and thought.

The railroad king York looked like a calm and classy gentleman, but that doesn’t mean it was his true nature. He was concerned about the look in his eyes. It was the eyes of someone who was plotting something. To begin with, anyone who visited King Dedede often had a wicked scheme beneath their affable demeanor. They try to deceive and take advantage of the king or they try to invade Dream Land...

“His highness is kind, so he’s quick to believe in others. I have to be strong...”

Bandana uttered seemingly to himself while clenching his fist.

~~~~~~~~

The rumors about the Pupupu Train spread throughout Dream Land. The residents were, of course, delighted. No matter where anyone looked, it was the only thing being talked about. Even so, none of them has ever ridden a train before and that was why they let their imaginations run wild as they talked. Even today, some residents chatter wildly as they gathered in the plaza.

“So it’s a long thing you ride in, right? Then it’s gotta wriggle around like a snake!” Burning Leo said.

“How do you ride on top of a snake? Won’t you just fall off?” Chilly said worriedly.

Knuckle Joe laughed. “You don’t ride on top of it! You ride inside it like a car!”

“A long car that wriggles? What a strange vehicle!”

At that moment, Kirby and Waddle Dee appeared in the plaza. They were all standing in a line with long ropes in their hands. Kirby was in the front, and Bandana Waddle Dee was in the back.

“Choo choooooo! Next stop, the plaza!” Kirby shouted and their feet stopped moving.

“Please watch your step while getting off! We will be departing momentarily!” Bandana said.

“...what are you all doing?” Burning Leo called out, to which Kirby answered back.

“We’re playing train!”

“Huh...?”

“We’re practicing for when we ride the Pupupu Train.”

Burning Leo and the others looked at each other.

“Do you guys even know what a train looks like?” Knuckle Joe asked.

“I know! It’s a long car that runs on top of rails and has dining rooms and beds inside!”

“...huh!?”

Everyone was surprised by Kirby’s immediate answer.

“Why would you know something like that?!”

“No way! Kirby, have you ridden a train before?!”

“Nope! I haven’t! But Waddle Dee told me about it!”

“We’ve received pamphlets from the Railroad King York. It has a lot of information about the Pupupu Train that’s currently under construction.” Bandana said.

“Pamphlet?” Chilly asked.

“If you have something nice like that, then let us see it!”

“Of course. I’ll make copies to hand out to everyone. Gather everyone at Castle Dedede!”

“All right!” Burning Leo jumped up with all his might.

“We’ll let everyone know! I’m itching to know more about the Pupupu Train ASAP!” Knuckle Joe said with a smile.

Then he and the others ran off in whatever direction they pleased.

~~~~~~~~

The citizens of Dreamland rushed to Castle Dedede in excitement. There, the Waddle Dees copied the pamphlets and handed them out. Everyone was delighted to see the illustration of the train for the first time.

“Wow! The guest rooms have a big bed and sofa! It’s like a hotel!”

“It runs through the galaxy at tremendous speeds and can reach the planet Baspa in a week!”

In the group of gathered citizens, Chef Kawasaki was also there.

“Are you gonna ride the train, too?” Kirby asked.

“I’ve been specially invited to take care of the dining car.” Kawasaki said proudly.

“Huh!? Then I’ll be able to eat your cooking on the Pupupu Train?”

“Yes! I’ll be making breakfast, lunch, dinner, snacks, and midnight snacks! I’ll be preparing many gorgeous menus, so look forward to it!”

“Uwaaaah! Hurray!”

Kirby was so happy that he somersaulted.

“Now that everyone is here, here, let's decide on the room assignments.” Bandana said.

“Room assignments?”

“There are several private rooms on the Pupupu Train. King Dedede will have his own room and the ten of us Waddle Dees will have our own room, but everyone else should decide who should room with who.” Everyone looked at each other. Then Chilly spoke. “I don’t want to be in a room with Burning Leo. He’ll make the room so hot that I’ll melt.”

“I don’t want to room with Chilly either.” Burning Leo responded. “If I do it, I’m gonna catch a cold! Hothead, wanna share a room with me?”

“Sounds good.” Hothead replied, blowing a small flame from his mouth with a “po”.

“It’ll be fun with Burning Leo. The two of us will make the “Hot-Blooded Fire Room”!”

“Then it’s been decided!”

Burning Leo and Hothead made a triumphant pose.

Then Pengi spoke. “I’ll stay with Chilly. Our room will be the “Freezing Ice Room”.”

“Waah! Sounds good! I’ll look forward to it, Pengi!” Chilly was also very happy by it.

“I’ll be fine staying in a room with Walky!” Kirby said happily.

“...huh?” Walky looked puzzled. “W-why? What are you planning, Kirby?”

“I’m not planning anything. I just think we both are similar to each other.”

“Like what?”

“We’re good at singing!” Kirby said confidently.  “Our room can be the “Captivating Singer Room”! Let’s sing lots of fun songs!”

“...HUH?!”

Walky recoiled.

Everyone around them was disturbed. They all deeply knew the destructive power of Kirby’s singing.

“Kirby says some scary things...”

“If he sings, the whole train will be destroyed!”

“We have to stop him...!”

While everyone else turned pale, Bonkers was the one who stepped forward. Rabble-rousing and quarrelsome, Bonkers is feared by the residents. Everyone held their breath wondering what he would say. He glared at Kirby and said “Oi, Kirby, stop it.”

“Huh?”

“Why don’t you... you...” Bonkers then said with a determined expression. “Room with me.”

“Huh? Why?”

“I want to share a room with you. You mind?”

“Is that so?” Embarrassed, Kirby then spun around on one leg. “I didn’t know you liked me so much!”

“Y-yeah.”

“If you say so, fine. I’ll room with you. Sorry, Walky, I know you’re disappointed...”

“N-no! Not at all! Don’t worry about it!” Walky replied in a loud voice.

Everyone around them gave appreciative glances towards Bonkers and whispered among each other.

“We’re saved!”

“Thank you, Bonkers! We owe you!”

“I thought he was a violent and scary guy, but when the time comes, we can count on him!”

The other citizens also smoothly decided on their room assignments.

With everyone's expectations rising, the construction of Pupu Train proceeded and the day of completion came on schedule.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Table of Contents

Next Chapter

[thebest-medicine]

Just a quick curiosity - do you accept gifts from followers?

Just a quick follow up to your curiosity with a curiosity of my own - what do you mean by gifts?

[sansloii]

me: :)

windows: remember the update that your laptop literally CAN'T install because of a partition issue. i want to attempt install it again.

me: why can't you just. pull the update until you fix it

windows, attempting to install the update anyway: what?

me: >:(

[nanzyn]

⁛idiot (affectionate)⁛

song is everybody loves me by onerepublic

[xxcherrycherixx]

I take back what i said, me and the new display tablet are besties

I will say for some reason i draw in a completely different style when using it??? lmao, enjoy a sneak peak at a heartlockes piece (like i draw anything else nowadays lmao)