#my internet connection on my laptop stopped fucking working

[linuxmint-official]

arch linux my be-loathed

[coryothesub]

Zoom Call

nsfw / mdni / sub!coryo / dom!reader

“Yes, I can arrange that,” you replied to your boss, waiting for your zoom call to end before being given even more new tasks.

The bathroom door opened and Coryo appeared wearing nothing but a white towel around his waist. He looked so good, hair still wet, tiny droplets of water glistening on his soft, pale skin.

You were already distracted and almost missed your boss asking you another question.

Coryo walked over to the kitchen counter, strutting like a little slut, a clear signal he was about to be bratty and annoying. 

He poured himself a cup of coffee and stood behind your desk, where your co-workers couldn't see him but you certainly had the best view at his slender torso and gorgeous face.

It was nearly impossible to keep focus as the familiar warm pressure started building in your lower abdomen. 

How can a girl pay her bills while having a needy brat like him in her house?

Coryo sipped his coffee with a shit eating grin on his pretty little face, clearly amused by your struggles. 

The boy wasn't an idiot, he was fully aware of the punishment that would await him. But there was one tiny detail. He enjoyed imagining what kind of torture you’d have in store for him. In fact, he got hard at the thought.

“Coryo, stop!” you warned him using the short moment when one of your colleagues provided her weekly report.

“What?” he batted his eyes innocently. “I'm not even doing anything.”

Such a brat.

Coryo moved slightly to the side so that your laptop screen wouldn't abstract your view below his waistline and you noticed the outline of his fully erect dick under the towel. 

He was gonna pay for this. Or maybe…

You raised your hand making sure it was outside the camera range and motioned your pointer finger signaling him to come closer.

Coryo's eyes widened in surprise. Had you decided to punish him right away? He obeyed and stood next to you, masterfully avoiding the camera range.

You switched on the mic to answer another question, praying for this meeting to end soon.

Without any warning Coryo unfolded the towel and let his hardened cock spring free, the tip hitting his toned lower abs and bouncing off a few times.

You marveled at his impressive length, biting your lip without realizing the camera was still on.

“Is everything alright?” you heard your boss’s voice through the speaker.

“Perfect!” you replied and switched off the mic along with the camera.

“You filthy little whore, you don't even deserve this,” you cursed, then leaned forward and licked a slick line from the base of his cock upwards to the tip, swirling your tongue around it a couple times, while pumping him at the base.

“Ohh,” Coryo moaned. He couldn't believe you were actually doing this.

He watched you with sheer desire as you took him in your mouth, pushing yourself further on his dick with each movement, establishing a steady pace. Your fingers wandered away from the base of his cock and started to massage his balls making his dick twitch in your mouth.

“We’re gonna need your opinion on this,” you heard through the speaker and pulled away from Coryo who frowned and the loss of the sweet sensation.

“I’m sorry, it seems like there's something wrong with my internet connection,” you spoke into the camera, trying to stabilize your shaky breath.

Your colleagues seemed to be buying your bullshit and you switched everything off again, eager to suck the marvelous cock exposed right before your eyes.

You took him back in your mouth, restoring your pace, moving your head back and forth, flattening your tongue to increase the sensation.

Coryo looked at your face, his baby blue eyes taking in the beautiful sight. You looked so hot, your eyes fluttered, cheeks hollowed, working so hard on his dick on your paid work time, only a click away from getting caught by your whole unit. Only the thought of that brought him closer to the climax.

“Fuck, you look gorgeous”, he moaned as your mouth swallowed his whole length the tip of your nose meeting his blonde pubes. You tried to swallow around his member which made you gag, tears forming along your waterline.

“Are you sure everything is alright?” you heard your boss's voice through your blissful daze and rushed to switch on the camera thinking of a quick way to explain your teary eyes and swollen lips.

“Yeah, everything’s good. I just crawled under the table to check the cables and some dust got in my eyes. You don't have to worry, go on.”

“Well, if your little problem hadn't occurred,” your boss cocked her eyebrow. “Then you would know that we're already finishing.”

They were finishing. Well, they surely weren’t aware who else was about to finish.

“Oh great, see you next week!” you left the meeting and slammed your laptop shut before anyone had managed to say goodbye. 

Coryo had been jerking himself off, careful not to make a sound and now he finally let out a sweet moan that turned into a desperate groan as soon as you got back to your unfinished business.

“You're gonna pay for this later, Coriolanus!” you hissed at him before grabbing his thighs and pulling him close, shoving his shaft down your needy throat. You let your brain shut down in a blissful stupor, fucking your throat on his cock with a salacious gobbling sound, gagging and salivating around him. Tears were streaming from your reddened eyes, but you felt nothing but sweet dizziness and your throbbing cunt getting insanely wet from sucking his cock alone.

“Fuck, this feels so good. So fucking good, mommy, I'm gonna cum,” Coryo rolled back his eyes as he exploded in your mouth thick ropes of cum spurting down your throat. You held him in place, fingers digging into the pale skin, swallowing around him repeatedly and making sure you were getting every last drop of his seed. 

Filled with his warmth, you let his cock out of your mouth with a small pop, and took a few moments to catch your breath.

Coryo still didn't quite believe what had just happened. You gave him a harsh look and shook your head in disapproval.

“What did I tell you about distracting me from work, Coriolanus?”

“I’m sorry,” Coryo's voice sounded shaky with pleasure and fear. He thought he was about to get the worst punishment.

“It's not my fault you look so beautiful when you're all serious and focused. Are you gonna punish me now?”

“No,” you couldn't help laughing at his confused look. It almost seemed like you’d managed to shut off his brain entirely.

“Turns out this is a very lucky day for pretty little sluts like you. You're in for another undeserved prize.”

You pulled down your pants baring your impossibly wet cunt and made yourself more comfortable in your office chair lifting your legs over the arms, causing him to bite his lip at the sight.

“Now get to work before I change my mind!”

[mystery-star]

(K)night in Black Armor (Part 28) – Spock (Mobster!AU)

Pairing: Spock x reader

Warnings: mentions of death, sickness,

Words: 3479

All parts: Series Masterlist

Let me know if you want to be added to the Series taglist!

Please do not repost my work on other sites or platforms

-

“Spock! What the fuck are you doing? Spock! That’s not the time for fits of anger! Do you know what you’re doing?! Spock!”

“I am trying to minimalize the damage” suddenly he stopped, had a checking look before he dropped the tool and pulled you back upstairs “Disconnect your phone and laptop from the Wi-Fi if you want to keep it”

“Please what? Spock, what’s wrong with you?”

“Do as I said” you were shocked by his tone so you only gave a nod and did as he said, also switching off the devices. Then you went to his office where you found Spock typing commands on his computer and had a look at the phone with the countdown, which now was down at 2 minutes 51 seconds. You swallowed and placed your hand on his arm. Then he took the flash drive he had chosen, looked at you and put the stick into the respective interface on his computer. Then he opened a file that was on the drive. In curiosity, you looked at him, watching how he took out a tablet from the second drawer and switched it on.

“Spock!” you shouted when you saw how random letters and numbers and symbols littered the monitors. But he didn’t seem impressed and kept looking at the countdown phone

“Please let it work” he silently pleaded

“Work what? What’s wrong with your computer?” he didn’t reply but when the countdown disappeared on the phone you let out a muffled cry of success before getting to work on his tablet, typing commands in a speed that you couldn’t even read the words you understood. Finally, he bit his lip and seemed done. Slowly, the numbers on the phone disappeared and you saw the countdown again, just that it had stopped zero minutes, 43 seconds. “Spock?” you asked when it really stayed at that number before the screen went darker and finally switched off completely “What does that mean? What-what happened? Is it defused? Did it work?” he still said nothing and took the phone, dropping it to the floor and crushing it with his boot. “Spock!” you shrieked, grabbing his arm “Am-am I safe or-or?” when he didn’t reply, you shook him “Did it work? We’re talking about my life!” then, he seemed to out of his stiffness and he pulled you against his body, pressing you as close as possible.

“Yes” he finally choked out “the bomb is deactivated” he sounded out of breath and you let out a happy squeal, mixed with a sigh of relief. After a while, you looked up at him, leaning up to place a loving kiss on his lips

“I knew you could do it” you whispered and stroked his face “Spock, you’re really hot”

“You often say that” he chuckled

“No, your skin is so warm” you placed the back of your hand on your forehead “And you’re sweating? Are you okay?”

“It was just the nervousness and perturbance” he assured you, taking your hands in his and pressing a kiss to each of them before letting go of them.

“What did you even do?”

“Connected the phone to the internet of the computer and sent it a virus over it so that I could access the programming of the bomb countdown”

“Oh. What about your computer?” it still had the numbers on it “Does it have a virus too?”

“Yes”

“But it’s your own virus… I mean… you made it, right?”

“Not quite. It would be too dangerous to continue using it” he let out a chuckle “Bones always used to joke that I loved my computer more than you. Now he has the proof that I do not”

“What about the Azienda? Did you send it to them too?”

“No that is why I have been in the server room”

“You cut the Internet connections”

“Indeed”

“But doesn’t that ruin business?”

“Perhaps cause a damage of a couple ten thousand to a few hundred thousand dollars. Plus another few thousands to restore the infrastructure. I did tell Jim to install redundant servers to minimize data loss but he wouldn’t listen”

“Oh”

“What is wrong?”

“You- you did that all because of me” he cupped your face

“I could not lose you”

“You guess you’ll be in trouble for cutting the servers off?” the telephone on his table rang and he looked at you after he glanced at the number

“At least I suppose they noticed” he cupped your face and pressed a kiss to your forehead “Perhaps you should go upstairs” you only gave a nod and squeezed his hand before you threw a last glance at the mess on the table and went upstairs.

-

Of course you wondered what Spock had because he had thrown a glance into your room after the phone call and told you that there were a few things he had to take care of. You had offered him your help because it was your fault after all but he refused, saying you should make yourself a nice evening, order some food and do something to relax. He didn’t seem to care about your protests that you wanted to enjoy your evening with him and not alone. The only thing that helped a bit was the fact that he stayed at home, probably plugging in the server cables he had not cut. So you cooked something for the two of you and ate your portion in front of the TV before you went to the basement with a plate for him.

 “Spock? Are you still here? I thought you might be hungry” you got no answer “Spock?” then you saw him kneeling and leaning against one of the racks “Oh there you are” you walked closer but he didn’t’ respond “Spock?” you put the plate down and sat down beside him, gently shaking him. It was of no use so you shook him harder, crying his name. The only thing you achieved was that he tilted and fell into you, unconscious. With a gasp you checked his temperature again and he felt even hotter, also the sweat was still there. “Spock?” you started to get scared and held your hand under his nose to see if he still was breathing, which he luckily was. Not sure what to do, you cradled him against your chest and stroked his hair while you were crying. Then you swallowed and got up, gently putting him on the floor “Hold on, I’ll get help” you promised and ran upstairs, taking your phone and switching it on. Now you were glad that you had switched it off. “Bones!” you shouted after dialing the number.

“(Y/N)? How can I help?”

“It’s Spock… he’s hot and sweating and he fell unconscious I guess”

“He what? When did he faint?”

“No idea. He’s been in the server room the last hour or so. I found him there. But I noticed his temperature and sweating earlier. About three hours ago”

“Do you have any idea what it could be?”

“N-no… I mean a computer virus really can’t affect people?”

“Of course not. Despite the fact he’s thinking and working like a machine. But don’t worry, I’m on my way” you only made an agreeing sound and gave a sad nod. You went back to the server room, placing his head in your lap until Bones arrived. “Help me getting him upstairs to the couch” you nodded and did as he said. “Let’s see what’s up with you” while he was working he was asking what he had been doing in the past hours, what he had eaten or if he’d been exposed to any kind or substances he shouldn’t be.

“No. Nothing. Unless something happened while he was away with Medusa. I mean before he came here to defuse the bomb”

“I see. Did he get injured during the fight?”

“No, not really, he got hit a few times. And the small cut on his upper arm”

“Was it Medusa who cut him?”

“I-I guess so, why?”

“Damn it Spock, you stupid idiot”

“Why? What’s wrong?”

“Do you know what Medusa means?”

“The monster from Greek mythology that turned men into stone?”

“Yes, but it’s also Italian for jellyfish”

“So?”

“There’s a class of jellyfish called box jellyfish. They’re venomous”

“You-you’re saying he’s poisoning him?”

“He tries that with most of his victims. Which arm was it?”

“The right one” you said with tears in your eyes. Bones tore down the leave and you saw that the wound looked different. The bandage was gone but instead he had attached a ziptie to his arm above the injury.

“You stupid dimwit” Bones muttered “You should have called me right away. That’s not the time to play hero”

“What-what can we do?”

“It’s probably too late for this but please bring me some vinegar” you gave a nod and hurried to the kitchen and got what he wanted. The doctor poured some of it onto a towel which he attached to Spock’s arm.

 “Will he make it?”

“I’m quite sure he will. It’s not always deadly, you know? And Spock also has been taking small doses of the venom to make himself immune. At least he tried to”

“You’re saying it could be worse?”

“Yes. But in his case I’m quite sure he’ll just suffer for a few days” he let out a snort “Which is funny. Because for other humans, the venom is more harmful and he just gets unconscious and maybe vomits some hours with a few other symptoms. But if you give that guy a hot chocolate, he’ll almost die on you too”

“His allergies are no fun and neither is his injury”

“I know” you looked down

“I think he saved my life several times today”

“And he’d do it again just after he wakes up. Heard he blew up his computer to save you from the tiny bomb?”

“He put a virus on it so that the phone with the countdown got it”

“Damn. I’d have never thought he’d go that far with his beloved computer. That shows he’s really in love with you”

“I know” you said, taking your husband’s hand. “Can you do something for him?”

“Maybe later. I’ll stay here for the night but it would be good if you could have an eye on him too. I bet that once he wakes up he’ll want to go to the bathroom and stay there for the next hours”

-

Bones was right. Shortly after Spock had woken up, he staggered to the bathroom where he vomited into the toilet. When he was done, the doctor came back to check up on him again and ask him a few questions before leaving again. But Spock stayed bent over the toilet for the rest of the night and you stayed with him, even though you suddenly fell asleep. In the middle of the night you woke up again when you felt something touching you. Slowly, you opened your eyes and saw that Spock had put a blanket over you.

“You’re unbelievable” you muttered

“You should go to bed” he replied, stroking your hair

“No way. In good and bad times, remember?”

“Technically, our oaths have been slightly different”

“I don’t care. I’m staying” you moved closer, placing a hand on his shoulder “How are you feeling?”

“A bit better than earlier”

“Can I do something for you? Would you like some food?”

“That can wait until the morning” you gave a nod and nuzzled his back

“Why did you tell no one?”

“If I had, Bones would have treated me right away. But I was certain that Medusa or Seth would plan revenge and I wanted to be there to help you” you shook your head in disbelief

“Then why not calling Bones after I was saved?”

“I had to minimalize the damage I have caused but I suppose I was weaker than I believed”

“Yeah, seems so. Promise me that next time you’ll get help sooner.”

“I will try to”

“That’s the best I’ll get, huh?”

“It is”

“You really are something. And I don’t think I’ve thanked you enough for what you did for me yesterday”

“There is no need to. I promised to protect you and this I did”

“You were ready to sacrifice yourself”

“If you recall, you too have not listened to me when I told you to flee and remained behind to help me”

“Fair enough” you chuckled “Can I at least bring you some water?”

“I would not say no to this”

-

Bones had cooked Spock a light breakfast; a vegetable broth with potatoes. To your relief, Spock ate more than you thought he would and went to the couch afterwards instead of the bathroom. You sat down beside him, leaning your head against his shoulder and falling asleep again. But when the door opened you woke up again. It was Jim and you swallowed he looked at both of you and gave a nod

“How are you two doing?”

“I’m good” and Spock explained that he was feeling a lot better. Your hand slipped into Spock’s “Is he in trouble now?”

“For what?”

“His revenge act against the Romulanos and the server incident”

“It was just money. He already said he’d cover at least half of the damage he caused and takes care of the repair costs for the hard- and software. The two bodyguards are not a problem anymore. The only ones who truly cared were Seth and Medusa… which is the bigger problem”

“Jim” Spock said and his glance fell to you

“I know. But that she has to know” Jim ran his hand over his face “Medusa died in the course of the night. We don’t know if he poisoned himself of if it was the injury. In that moment, some Romulanos are at the Stella and seem pissed that no one’s there they can vent their anger on.” you swallowed and looked down. Spock placed a hand on your back rubbing it gently

“And now? What do we do?” you wanted to know

“I’m sorry” Jim said “But we can’t discuss that with you. In fact, Spock won’t even help because he’s sick and the mess is his responsibility. But he deserves an update on what’s going on. Besides, I still value his inputs.”

“I see” you gave a nod and kissed Spock’s cheek before you went upstairs.

-

As far as you could judge the situation with the Romulanos seemed pretty good. At least your friends could return to the Stella only three days later and Spock assured you that you didn’t need to fear anything for the moment. Of course you were curious what they had done but you doubted you’d hear it. After all, you currently had other problems right now. Well, it wasn’t a problem but it had been five years since you had gotten your hormone spiral for birth control and you now needed something new. Since it concerned him too, you discussed it with Spock but he was quite unhelpful because he said it was your decision in the end and you could use the method you preferred. A part of you even wanted to ask if he thought that contraceptives were necessary at all or if he wouldn’t care if you got pregnant. After some consideration, you finally chose the contraceptive patch. At least Spock accompanied you to a gynecologist, so that you could discuss the details and get the prescription for it. Much to your horror, the doctor asked you to undress for the examination. But you successfully could avoid one after about ten minutes of discussing but you had to plan another appointment in two weeks, with a female doctor.

“You should not have made such a fuss” Spock said when you were in the car on your way home

“Oh? Judging by your look you were that close to snapping his neck when he started talking about the bimanual palpation. Maybe I just wanted to save his life”

“(Y/N), I understand that it is unknown to you because you have not been examined like this before but it is for your own good”

“Is that a reference to the fact that I worked at the Stella? Suddenly that bothers you?”

“It does not bother me. I only want to ensure that you are alright”

“Well I am”

“Does the thought of the examination make you uncomfortable?”

“Dunno… it shouldn’t… but it does”

“It is no shame. I will come with you if you want” you shrugged

“Only if you promise not to hurt her if she hurts me”

“I hope it will not hurt you at all”

“How about you do a quick-study in the two weeks to be able to perform the examination yourself? After all I only had some ‘unofficial’ examinations before and all we need to know is that I’m healthy. No need that at doctor needs to know it”

“You would let me perform it?”

“Fuck’s sake yes. More than anyone else. Why wouldn’t I?” you placed your hand on his

“Besides, there will need to be an appointment where you have the spiral removed” you groaned before you opened the package of your patches to read the information leaflet. 

“We’ll probably have to use condoms for a while too that the contraception really works” you said quietly

“That does not matter” he squeezed your hand.

“Maybe I’m just scared because I remember how much putting the spiral in hurt. I got in the year I was eighteen, before my birthday. Once I was of age, I didn’t want to work because I was scared sex would hurt just as much” he looked at you and part of you thought he’d say or ask something but he didn’t, instead giving your hand another squeeze.

-

At the beginning of April, Spock approached you, saying that there was some kind of annual meeting for mobsters of all the San Francisco families and asked if you wanted to accompany him.

“But the Romulanos?”

“It is a peaceful meeting… as long as nothing is provoked. It is like an ant jar”

“Huh?”

“If you put two kinds of desert ants in a jar nothing will happen. However, as soon as the jar is shaken, they will attack and kill each other”

“Oh. Have you ever experienced something like this?”

“Once, when I was a fourteen”

“What happened?”

“I am not allowed to give you too many details, however, I had just joined the Vulcano family officially and my father took me to the meeting because he was the advisor of our boss. I never knew what exactly happened that the situation escalated but all of a sudden everyone had a weapon and shooting ensued. Some tried to escape, others honored the codex and helped the women out first. So did I and was bringing out one of the Romulano women. Someone came after us and in our fight, in which also my father engaged in, she was killed”

“Oh no. Did you know who it was?”

“Not in the beginning. She got injured and my father told me to get her into safety. I tried to and when I was outside, I was approached by Medusa. He seemed to believe I was responsible for her death. Respectively blamed me for not having been able to save her”

“She was his wife” you concluded “That’s why he hated you” he gave a nod “And that’s why you didn’t want me to be a part of the mission… because you feared he’d find out who I am and get revenge”

“Yes” he nodded

“But if I came to this meeting… do you think something would happen to me?”

“I doubt they would attempt such a thing during the sit-down. We all know that it could start a war between the families. It is a gathering that is supposed to be peaceful and keep the peace between us as well as possible”

“I guess I’d like to come. I mean… wouldn’t it look bad if you didn’t bring me? Like you don’t trust them?”

“Perhaps. This could be a reason our wives are there as well, to prove that we are not planning something” you shrugged

“Well, I guess I need a dress for the occasion. I’ll go check my wardrobe” you wanted to run upstairs but he caught your arm.

“Wait. I thought we could go and buy you one”

“Oh. Sounds great. Of course only if it doesn’t end with sex in the changing room again”

“First of all, that was in a sex shop, and secondly, you did enjoy it”

“I was fucking terrified” you shook your head “God, sometimes I wonder what happened to the guy that would blush when he saw me naked”

-

Taglist: @rookietrek

[machidielontheway]

my biggest "what would fix you right now" is sleep schedule. i love sleeping, i love being in my bed, love the feeling of blorbo rotating while comfy in my pillow. i don't mind doing the nightly routine : pee time, brushing teeth [altho this is a recent change !], filling water bottle.

what i don't like and don't manage to do is the Break : stopping the enjoyment - or the avid, compulsory search for enjoyment - and actually closing my laptop. Closing the laptop is cutting up the connection and the safety, comfort of it. connection is : i am not alone. there is people there and i can hear them, listen to them, my room is filled with the sound of people living. i am not lonely. safety is : i am finding joy and am entertained - i am not wasting my life. i do not think of things i yearn to do but lack the energy and courage for. i am fulfilled.

Closing the door and getting out of my own laid spell and having to face reality again is very hard. I do not like it and i avoid it for as long as i can sometimes, even if i am tired and would love to be sleeping. (the reality is : sometimes i am lonely and unfulfilled ; the reality is i haven't been sleeping enough for years to have the emotional energy enough to be able to make concrete steps to change this)

i could say a lot more because this subject branches out back to itself but let's just keep what was the original goal.

i wanted to speak about it to the therapist i saw for the first time a week ago, because as of now sleep is Obstacle n°1 to be resolved in my life. but i didn't really connect with her, and it was a first session so a bit hard to go directly into one specific subject. However i spoke about it to a friend the next day, and she told me how she does it and we did a little brainstorming / our discussion was such to me.

one thing i discovered about myself in the last year is that i have very little perseverance, and if there is - or if i see something as such - an obstacle i will mostly not do the thing blocked by the obstacle. The ideal solution for this is : if you can't make yourself go past the obstacle, either 1) remove the obstacle or 2) change your course. When i was in my last flat the bathroom was some way away from my room and it was old and i didn't like it. I had a hard time brushing my teeth at night and mostly never did it. a temporary solution became "i go to pee super often, let's just brush my teeth each time with water for a few seconds" and that worked quite a bit. the obstacle was going to a place i didn't like with little reward ; the solution was do the thing when you're already in there, when you didn't have a problem to go because you actually wanted to". The problem literally disappeared when i moved flats and 1) had the bathroom directly against my room again and 2) i like the bathroom and don't feel uncomfortable spending time in it. It's a great things to know this kind of things about you, because it's easier to see how to go about solving a problem.

So with my friend as we spoke about it and it finally took a shape, i thought : clearly knowing and agreeing with all those things about "capitalism doesn't give you time so you spite it with a fucked up sleep schedule to get time for you" is not helping you : it's true but you can't change that rn. But the shape of "i don't like when i close the laptop and suddenly i'm back in real life with all my doubts and feelings", that i can manage. i can make the Break less of a break. With my friend i planned two things : 1) my laptop does not go in to the bedroom, and 2) i will put on sound on my phone until i shut off the lights (i dislike going on internet on my phone so no loophole here).

It did work in parts, which is actually great. I DID feel frustrated about not having the laptop, like a real feeling of "something missing / something not in its place", but it was not big enough that i couldn't go through it, which means that i can acclimate myself to it in time ; and it was enough that i didn't feel the break too keenly. Once i was done with my nightly ablutions, i kept listening to the video (music is Not Enough so i listen to Defunctland Fastpass vid) and felt myself falling asleep after ten minutes, which is also good : it's not enough to keep me awake through my tiredness the way i can power through for hours with the laptop (yes i have f.lux), and it's easier to stop and put down because my phone doesn't represent a Door to me the way my laptop does.

Now the thing to work on is that i need to actually do this where i do get in my room at an interesting hour and not just at two am, or it makes me as sleepy but less comfortable. So while a part of a solution is present the big boss is still there : the drive and motivation to do the first step which is "now we will begin". i once thought 'when i will have my new fancy phone where i can put on more than one alarm clock, i'll put some in the evening to create Doors for me to come back to reality and make a choice - i can stay where i am, or i can decide to go to bed". This increase the chance that i manage to go to bed earlier, instead of being kept in the waters of the spell until i see the clock hitting the magic hour where somehow i will accept going to sleep (which in these days is 1:30 AM). However i did NOT put on those alarms even though i've had my new fancy phone since january. which is another mystery to think about : what makes me 'not want' to put them on ? what do i fear ? i was excited about it once, what has changed ? is there another way i can make 'coming back to it' doors that would not be from alarm clock ?

I do like having my struggles put in this form because 1) i like feeling like i'm taking concrete steps toward something, because for so so so long i've been Waiting. besides the "fight or flight" reaction there is the freeze and i'm very good at it. and action is what makes you brain calm down from Fight or Flight. 2) i love analysis (recent discovery through work) ! it's like a treasure map with little adventures you have to follow until you find the treasure. But this also means knowing / searching for how things works, so you can understand why they're not working and find a satisfactory solution or a workaround.

anyway. yeah.

[beyondthetemples-ooc]

Oh thank Azar, it WORKED!

I have spent approximately the last twenty-four hours fretting over my laptop. When I connected to the Wifi at my new temporary residence, I forgot to mark the connection as metered. Which means it downloaded and installed a Windows update. Which my laptop historically Does Not Do Well with. I don’t know why, they just always mess something up. So I avoid them adamantly.

(I know it’s a security risk. I take measures and I’m well acquainted with cyber attacks. Social engineering doesn’t work on me because I’m even suspicious of legitimate emails/files/downloads from Verified Sources^tm.)

Anyways, this particular update made my laptop’s Volume Up bottom spazz out so badly it would act like it’s being continually pressed, which for some reason would paralyze the track pad and cursor. Couldn’t even right-click.

It made my laptop damn-near unusable.

(tl;dr I figured it out but gods, it was an ordeal.)

Luckily I’m willing to take a risk for my stories and I trust Microsoft’s built-in virus protection much more than I would have a decade ago, because I couldn’t figure out how to disable Just That One Key, but I was able to spend about three hours patiently waiting for the key to stop spazzing (because it was frequent, but intermittent), and quickly disable the keyboard when it stopped. JUST long enough that I could find a program to disable the entire keyboard, because I didn’t trust the ones I found to disable Individual Keys.

(Luckily I’m also patient enough to use point-and-click to type with the on-screen keyboard so I could search the internet for what the hell I could do next... {lP Because as a writer, a blogger who writes affluent tags, and a keyboard-shortcut aficionado, I simply could Not use a computer without keyboard access. Maybe long enough to back up my stories... but then the machine would essentially be a very expensive paperweight to me.)

But then I got desperate when I couldn’t find an “in-house” way to remap (well, disable) the key causing all these problems. A couple of websites I’ve long used and trusted had articles on little lightweight programs you can use. But I was VERY nervous about using KeyTweak to disable it, because 1.) it’s built for XP/Vista/7, and 2.) IT USES THE REGISTRY. For those who don’t know: If you fuck up the registry, you might permanently fuck your computer forever and ever and there won’t be a way to fix it because the registry runs EVERYTHING, including core OS files, mouse clicks, and... to my immense benefit, keyboard strokes.

But KeyTweak worked. Its little 32-bit registry edit seems to have worked. The computer restarted to apply it and seems to be stable. The key is disabled and the trackpad is working. Luckily I don’t mind using the volume slider to adjust the volume instead.

Whew...

[usedtobeadragonflygirl]

Things I love about you

The smirk

The low chuckle its so fucking sexy ugh

When she thinks she’s being subtle when she’s taking screenshots of me

The smile, the one when one corner just lifts up

When she’s all giggly and excited when she finally figures out the solutions for her coding problems

When she patiently explains everything I don’t understand 

When she tells me about her day

The way she hyper-fixates on staying on the topic even if I interrupt her for a kiss

When she whines and tells me not to leave and begs for 5 minutes more

The way she’s a very believable actress sometimes, I fall for most of them

The way she’s also a terrible liar and I can totally tell she’s lying. Example: when she hesitates and say no

The way she licks and purses her lips when I say something vulgar and she likes it and is possibly turned on and she doesn’t even realise she’s doing it. 

The way her eyebrow twitches quickly when she likes what I suggest

The way she covers her nose so that I won’t see it flaring and know she’s aroused

The way her tongue pokes the inside of her cheek when she’s annoyed or pissed

The way she looks up at the sky, her smile a thin line when I’m teasing her and she wants it to stop

The way she’s open about her piss kink /j

Her hands

Her thighs

When she flexes her thighs

When she dresses masc

When she dresses fem

When she dresses masc and fem

When she unbuttons her shirt

When she ties her hair back 

The hair strands that escape the hair tie when she ties her hair back

When she pushes her glasses up her nose

When she pushes her glasses up her nose just because I asked her to

The effort she puts into hunting for better internet connection just so that I could hear her better

When she moans

Her boobs

Her cute adorable giggle when I kiss her

When she codes

Her side profile when she’s working on her laptop, she looks like a sexy statue 

How she steals my words

When she mirrors my pose

When she laughs at my stupid jokes

When she makes bad puns

When she tells me about slugs who can transfer genes horizontally

Her love for Taylor Swift 

Her snorts

When she finishes her plate of food

The way she slowly opened up to me and let me see her socials

How she types fast

How she gets horrified at herself when she forgets word in Korean or French 

The tiny gasps when she realises things

When she tells me about the best ways to murder someone and not get caught

The way her lower lip juts out very slightly when she pouts

The fact that she’s my lesbian

When she sends me snaps during her day

When she gets mad in behalf of me

When she hums tunes

When she does that thing on FaceTime like she wants to reach out and squeeze my cheeks

The way her face just goes slack when I strip

How she hypes me up whenever I change in front of her

How she makes me smile when I’m about to cry

How she seems fascinated by my sneezes

How she’s flexible

When she works out

When she works out and is sweaty

When she sends me post workout snaps 

When she makes snap-episode-thingies for me

When she writes to me

When she understands when I can’t talk to her

When she tries her best not to be a straight white boyfriend when i sacrifice my blood to Satan

When she calls me her small cabbage

When she calls me her blood packet/ketchup packet

How she promised and started eating healthy

How she makes me want to be better

How she makes me feel like I’m the luckiest girl in the world

Her suspension kink

Her choking kink

How she puts effort to hold her phone right when taking mirror selfies

How she remembers my timetable

How she forces me to stand up and stretch my legs when I have been in the same position for five hours straight

Her dog

WHEN SHE TAKES INITIATIVE

How she stopped touching other girls’ hair just because I said it made me uncomfortable

When she wears a cap

When she wears that spotted dress

When she wears red

When she wears orange 

How she gets concerned at every whimper I make

Her laugh

How she knows all my strange sounds

WHEN SHE SWITCHES BETWEEN LANGUAGES

Her shoulders

Her spot at her inner thigh

How she’s attached to a blanket

How she cries when she’s separated from it

How her favourite colour is lavender

Her neck

Her glasses

Her pearly white teeth

Her goofiness

How she gets concerned when I’m upset even if she’s high on caffeine 

When she listens to me rant

When she rants

Her nose

Her boobs

Her pride in being double jointed

Her pride in being double jointed and thinking she’s one of the ‘chosen ones’

When she goes red

How she likes the cold

When she plans how she wants the house we want to live in with me

When she peeks out of the covers, just her eyes. 

When she saves my snaps

When she makes her boobs jiggle unintentionally 

When she makes her boobs jiggle intentionally

When she lets me hear the sounds her pussy makes

The way she’s confused about the clit

When she writes me emails on my birthday 

When she writes me smut

When she posts stuff on tumblr 

How she helps me with my writing

When just the mere sight of her message popping up on the Lock Screen can make me smile

When she asks me which earrings she should wear

When she takes off her earrings in front of me

When she calls me when I wake up

How she makes sure she shows me her dog on FaceTime if she is in close by

Her weird noises

I like it that she doesn't brush her hair and it looks all curly and fluffy, it makes her look young and innocent and cute like a puppy. 

I like it when she just wears whatever when we FaceTime she looks comfy and cuddly and huggable. 

This might seem like a strange request but I kind of want to smell her when she wakes up. Or just snuggle myself to her side right before she wakes up and watch like a creep. I feel like she would be startled to open her eyes and see me staring directly at her first thing in the morning, but I wonder if she would see me at all because she is blind. She would feel warm like most people do. I want to press my nose to her neck and smell her after she has had a good night’s rest. I don’t know why. It’s just a strange need to do that

She looks sexy when she is concentrated, her eyes are half closed, and when she thinks she does this thing when she taps the air with her fingers sometimes

There is this specific smile that she has that I am obsessed with, it’s like a half smirk half amused smile. I get drunk in it. It is almost a beastly smirk and no I don’t mean that she looks like an animal, she just seems wild, the kind of reckless bad girl who’d own a motorcycle and wear leather jackets. A delinquent smile. 

Her laugh is contagious, I often miss it because she makes me laugh often by laughing, it’s not that it is a funny laugh, it’s like very real, like it’s a soft laugh unlike mine, and it’s like a fizz of a can rather than a bottle if that makes sense, like you’re in a field of flowers and the wind is making them brush together, that sound they make. It’s like that. 

There’s this other laugh, it’s a short one, it’s a little deeper than the other one I talked about, it’s like a short snicker if that makes sense, like a chuckle yes that seems more appropriate. 

There’s another adorable giggle she made when I praised her or call her something sweet, she sounded like a teenage girl with her legs swinging while she thought about her teenage crush, oblivious and innocent to incoming heartbreak, very pure. She sometimes repeats the things she says are funny and laughs all over again. She laughs at herself which I find admirable because I always take things way too personally. (I’m sitting alone in the living room right now and I’m remembering the times she laughed, and I just realised I’m smiling fondly)

Her shoulders are very narrow. They are very feminine shoulders. The kind that would look beautiful in a bare-shoulder ball gown, the kind that Belle wears. I feel like if I touched them, they would feel like a doll’s. 

Her collar bones are showing a lot, they are pretty, like tiny nooks to bury my nose in and breathe in her scent. I feel like it would fit perfectly. 

Her side profile is very noticeable. I feel like if I took a silhouette photograph or a painting of her it would be a bold one. I cannot describe why; I just know it would be unlike most silhouettes perhaps because she is special to me. 

It is truly strange. She’s just a girl and yet she means so much to me. A part of me is screaming that she is not just a girl. She is though. she’s just another human being. That I am obsessed with. She made me so happy. 

I love talking to her. I love our conversations. I love the way her pitch rises and falls while she speaks I want to listen to her all day, I don’t want the music to stop, I want her to tell me about her day, and all the tiny things that happened, it’s not only that she has a beautiful voice, it’s also the way she makes it interesting, she’s a marvellous storyteller, an ability I envy and admire her for, I like how she can go from one topic to another. I love how at the end we have no idea how we got to the end topic, it’s not a necessarily important conversation, but just talking about random things and not feeling the time fly, I adore them, I feel so satisfied by the end of it like I’ve also learned a couple of things but also this pretty girl had spent the last hour talking to me in her pretty voice, I like how she fiddles with something while she speaks, the way her emotions show on her face, and I know that sounds a bit crazy but I struggle with that, showing the correct emotion, I have to sometimes practice on the mirror before presenting an emotion in front of anyone else that’s why I keep glancing at myself in the FaceTime video to make sure I’m showing the correct appropriate emotion in response, I am fascinated by how she does it so easily, emotion after emotion, eyebrows raising, creasing, wrinkling, cheeks lifting and falling, eyes widening, narrowing, the fact that her eyes can show the emotion well too, when she laughs her eyes laugh too, when she is upset her eyes look sad too, How does she do that?,  lips moving, showing teeth, widening and pursing, tilting of the head, she does them so easily it makes me wonder how on earth would I be able to master emotional expression to that level, and it’s such a fascination to watch and listen how the tone and pitch of her voice fits all the emotions showing on her face. It is my favourite thing to do with her.  It has been for a while even when we did not date. To talk for ages. And listen. 

My brain mentally captures these tiny details of her when I think she’s so pretty, the way she holds anything in her hands, a pen, a cup, the way she hunches over when she works, the way her legs are crossed, the curve of her thigh, the way the tiny baby curls stick out of her head near her neck and ear, the way she takes off her shirt, the way she looks down as she writes something, the way she purses her lips while she’s staring at her screen sometimes, the way she watches me, the way her eyes move, the way the shirts she wears are too big for her and slips off her shoulder and I can see her bra strap, the way her face falls neutral as she hangs up when someone knocks on her door, the way she puts her cat in the air jail and literally drops him outside, the way her mouth is slightly open when she’s checking the time on her phone, the way she swings on her chair, the way she looks while she puts on her earrings, the way her bra cups her breasts, the way her nipples are a darker shade than mine, the colours she puts on her nails its late now so I have to sleep but theres more. 

I love how we would be talking about a random word and she’ll look up the etymology of it and let me know.

I love how passionate she is about watching her shows and keeping track of each one. She remembers the plot of everything and remembers what happened last. She would admire their plots to their tiniest detail and tell me each part’s significance.

I love how she’s so connected to the characters in her dramas and shows and cries when they die. She was so sad when Saya died.

I love her hair right now. It’s curling at the ends and she looks like Finn Wolfhard, very androgynous like him. I want to ruffle it.

I love how she puts a lot of effort into her work even if she doesn’t like the content she’s studying (this was when she was studying in Colombo university). She doesn’t give up on boring things like I do. I admire that about her.

When she sends me photos of the events of her day, photos she took with her friends.

I love that she sends me photos of her friends and it makes me feel like I’ve known them for a while as she has. It makes it easier to imagine her stories too because I know what they look like.

I absolutely adore the fact that she wants to start painting. I’m so excited that we can do and learn something together now. I’m excited to see what kind of pictures will come out of her head and what style she has. I’m excited to see how she views the world.

I love that holds her pen like that

When she makes the sticky note wall. It looks like a crime wall and she looks like a cool detective in the little space with her sunset lamp on.

When she’s absolutely devastated when ants go in her food or drinks. Of course I’m not happy that she can’t eat or drink, it’s just that the sounds of despair she makes are dramatic and funny and cute!

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony’s Stupid Daily Blog (767): Tue 23rd Apr 2024

Off to the car showroom today to buy my first ever car. My sister and Dad came with my for guidance in case I didn't understand any of the mechanical or financial jargon the salesman gave me. It turned out that I couldn't actually get the car until tomorrow because the salesman required me to sign some contracts via email but because I don't have data on my phone I had to use the showroom's Wifi but the Wifi wouldn't let me connect as it required me to sign into the Wifi from my Facebook but it required me to approve this sign in from a DIFFERENT DEVICE. I'm sorry but is it the norm for people to take a laptop or a tablet with them to places that have wireless internet in case they want to get online on their phone?! I'm currently trying to read all the Philip K Dick novels but in between reading I go outside and I'm subjected to nonsense like this so it feels like I'm constantly reading them. I told them that I'd sign the shit when I got back in the house and that I would come and pick up the car tomorrow. Since we were there we paid the deposit and my sister worked out the insurance for me. It's a little higher than I expected but once I stop buying food from the canteen, snacks from the shop and completely eliinate the takeaway food then it should start evening out. I went home a little disappointed as I'd been expecting to be driving a car home myself not in the pasenger seat of my sisters car while my sister did the worst impression of me chastising her for going 37mph in a 20mph zone. I realised that the day didn't have to be a waste of time though as it had been six weeks since my last round of laser tattoo removal at TripleSix so after I'd signed the contract and sent it back to the showroom guys I headed to the town for another session of pain. Once the tattoo guy got to work I noticed that the pain felt less intense than it normally does and I worried that perhaps he'd used the wrong laser. However once he was done I looked at the result and I saw that it had been far more effective than previous sessions as the whole area which was formerly a jet black star was now a bright white star. He said that this was a good sign that the last of the ink was finally on it's way out. I was happy to hear this but I was by no means out of the woods yet as when I got home the hundreds of tiny little white blotches had swelled up to form a gigantic red blister filled with puss. It looked like an alien was trying to burst out of my fucking shoulder. It was so enlarged and so painful I considered going to the hospital for help but I looked online and saw that this is normal in the final stages of tattoo removal and you just have to grin and bear it. I'm edging ever closer to that Jim Morrison sketch even if the final few sessions look like they're going to be a bitch to get through. 

[mychlapci]

why is my laptop fucking pretending there is no internet. hi hello laptop i am posting on tumblr through my phone which is very clearly connected to the internet which works extremely well so can you stop lying before i end up in angry tears for the third time this fucking week

[motorclit]

I don't know if it's an Autistic thing (and the fact that I'm poor) but I have a desktop computer that's about a whole decade old (if not more) and I have stuck with Windows 7 since I got this thing. This means no browser works with it, and apparently Firefox's whatchyawhosits extension to get it to work not only will stop working after next year, but it also doesn't exactly make the browser safe or something?

My stupid ass downloaded chrome back in... I was still in my Pittsburgh apartment so the early 2010s and I can't remember why. I just remember it being due to a need of a function from it for some reason, but I got used to it and stuck with it since then.

While switching browsers isn't something that would bother me (if I had the technological capability right now), I really don't fucking want a new computer despite legitimately needing one if I want shit to work. I LIKE Windows 7. I also cannot afford a new computer (I refuse to get a laptop; I've owned several of those but only 2 desktops ever in my life).

If I wanna continue to listen to music on YouTube, I'm gonna have to disabled my fucking adblockers or something just for the site so I can listen to music (maybe even rip the audio until I can afford physical albums).

Fuck Spotify. No really.. fuck it. I'm not paying for money until I can't and I'm left with fucking NOTHING. I'm gonna rebuild my physical music library. I had an ok-sized CD library but I had to sell those to eat while living in Pittsburgh. I'm in a better spot so I'm gonna try and get my hands on some music that I wanna listen to without the need of a damn internet connection.

If you've read this far, I want browser recommendations. I also wanna know what you think of Tor because I'm curious about it. And yeah, I have a gmail account. I want a different main email domain. Is Proton reputable?

I'm gonna make a poll in case not many read this.

[the-hittite]

It took me a while to stop making excuses, but I've finally accepted that the reason I don't like Bloodborne is because I'm bad at it.

And usually that wouldn't be that much of a problem. I'd just buckle down, grind it out, and steadily Git Gud. The problem is that it's console exclusive. And call me crazy, but I don't think my kids would appreciate me turning off Bluey to play Attack of the 20 Foot Used Tampon.

Sure I could play after they go to bed, but I work morning shift which gives me a very limited amount of time to play before I have to go to bed too. If it was on PC I could just take my laptop to a different room and play as much as I wanted. Yeah it probably wouldn't run all that well on a laptop, but it's not like it could run any worse than it already does.

The sad thing is that there's plenty of ways I could make myself stronger quickly and lower the bar on Gitting Gud. But thanks once again to console exclusivity I'd have to pay a subscription fee to connect the game I already bought to the internet I already pay for. And let me tell you, I am not fucking doing that.

In conclusion: Fuck Sony. PC port when.

[13flowersandfoxes]

Managed to be real dumb just now. Was watching a movie, it stopped working. First assumption was it was the internet connection on my computer.

My laptop does a dumb thing sometimes where it decides it can’t find internet suddenly. So I sat there for a while trying to fix that

Then I realized there was no wifi on my phone either. Was starting to search for an internet outage in my area, then realized oh. The fucking powers out

The power is out everywhere around me that I can tell

Oh and my apartment is an icebox and it’s currently 14 degrees outside

[youryanderedaddy]

I had a dream just now that might make a good story. So, I had a virus on my laptop which allowed a hacker to see everything I did on my computer and use my webcam. The hacker ends up falling in love with me after stalking me for a few months and pays for someone on the dark web to kidnap me. It works, and then I wake up tied up in the hacker's arm as he caresses and kisses me. That's pretty much it, good night! 🌙

Yo this is my kink 😳

Also I couldn't not write this for Saeran, ok.

Title: Stranger danger

Tw: nsfw - ish, female reader, masturbation, cyber stalking, hacking, mentions of dark web, very irresponsible online behavior, obsessive behavior, implied kidnapping

You knew that this was a stupid idea. Lurking on the dark web with almost no protection other than the Tor browser and some free anti-virus program wasn't your best decision, but fuck it if it wasn't entertaining. You had always been drawn to the darker, scarier part of the human mind and this side of the internet proved quite interesting. Your friends always warned you about the dangers that came with looking up shady online searches and sites but everything had been quite peaceful so far. There weren't hackers or murderers on the dark web, the worst you had seen were people selling drugs and weapons for unreasonable prices, along with some questionable fetish porn and the typical popping ads.

Your favorite thing to do while online was chatting. Two weeks ago you had stumbled upon an unusual forum called "Scream buddies" where upon entering you were automatically connected to another random profile. The whole theme of the forum was discussing horror and mondo movies, shockumentaries and overall creepy stuff, your forte. The person you met on there shared a similar fascination with all things dark and gory which soon made talking to them the only thing you were looking forward upon opening the site.

You didn't know much about the guy behind the profile yet, except that he was a young man. His icon showed an eye so green it emited with the neon pigment and his username was just as mysterious - BlueRose7. You enjoyed chatting with him about your hobby but the thing you liked the most was undressing him little by little, metaphorically so, by getting pieces of information about his life. It started small - his favorite food, favorite book, favorite game, but the moment you tried digging deeper and asked whether he had siblings or not, the man simply disappeared for the next few days. You quickly realized just what type of topics you needed to avoid to keep your new friend from leaving. Family, childhood memories and work matters were out of the picture.

The stranger wasn't fair, not really. He didn't show you vulnerability and kept his secrecy while demanding to know everything there was to know about you. For the longest time you didn't want to answer just to stay on a equal footing, just to show him how frustrating it was, but there was something about the man that drew you in. He was magnetic, clever and witty, if a bit pessimistic and dark at times. You couldn't help telling him everything he wanted to hear - what your job was, whether you were single or not, all that jazz. In your defense, BlueRose7 actually listened to your stories, took your problems seriously and provided solutions, which despite being too extreme and overprotective at times (upon hearing that your bestfriend talked behind your back he offered to "take care" of her), were comforting. It was nice to have someone caring around even if you met him on a sketchy website.

Meanwhile your personal life wasn't going too great. You had to balance between attending college, working long shifts as a waitress and meeting your friends from time to time which was draining. On top of all there was a weird virus on your computer which resulted in the camera turning on and off and the most random times of the day - while you were studying, watching TV, or in some cases, fully naked and ready to take a bath. You didn't think much of it though, with all the illegal movies and games you downloaded along with the dark web lurking it was more than expected for your laptop to behave weirdly. You didn't even mention it to your friend from the IT major because you knew that he'd force you to delete Tor and put an end to your internet adventures.

One time you were particularly bored after several long lectures and you were laying in bed, the camera turned on once again. It was a hot afternoon and you were wearing boyshorts and a loose T- shirt with nothing underneath it, you were home alone so there was no need. The bright red spot was twinking like a recorder, the light reflecting in your eyes, when a silly little idea came to your mind. You slid your hand under your blouse and lifted the fabric up, exposing your breasts to the laptop, your nipples hardening due to the sudden coldness, becoming pink and stiff in seconds. You played with for a few minutes, pinching and pulling the buds gently, moaning softly into the pleasant sensation. Soon you could feel yourself getting wet, and slowly, teasingly, removed your shorts and panties. You smiled at the camera, biting your lip provocatively, imagining you were a camgirl performing for her desperate little fanboys and fangirls. The thought alone was enough to make you spread your legs wide and slip two fingers into your throbbing cunt, using the wetness to push deeper. You used your other hand to stroke your clit and whimpered wantonly, your face red, your neck sweaty and your heart pumping fast from the adrenaline. You were quickly reaching your orgasm and your mind wondered to the boy you were talking to in the forum. You wondered how he looked like, how his body was built, whether he was a sweet sensual lover or a rough mean one. Fucked up as it was, you pictured the man as one of your most loyal viewers, watching all of your streams with a fist around his thick vock and an excited grin on his face. He would comment things like "you look so beautiful like this" or perhaps even "pretty little slut" after tipping you enough to last you a week. Soon all the mental stimulation sent you over the edge and you came with a loud cry full of pleasure. Well, this felt good.

After your "performance" was over the camera was magically turned off, which may have caused some concerns if you weren't too busy feeling embarrassed and dirty about the unhinged fantasy you had just had, and with a person you knew nothing about. You managed to calm down though - it wasn't nothing more than a fun pastime, a naughty thought that would never become the reality. You would never actually meet BlueRose7, right? There was nothing to worry about, so you just went on with your day.

You had some dinner afterwards and decided to have an early night as you already felt full and tired. You put on your favoruite pajamas and laid in bed, staring at the ceiling until you fell into deep dreamless sleep.

You woke up due to a weird noise. You could hear someone's heavy breathing right next to your ear, someone's grabby hands were wrapped tightly against your body, trapping you between the wall and their hard chest. You had only a few seconds to scream before the intruder's palm covered your mouth.

"Shhh." The man whispered softly and stroked your hair like you were a doll he was playing with. "Don't scream or I'll be forced to hurt you, flower. I have a gun." His voice sounded deep and rough but this didn't stop you from thrashing and turning on your side until you came face to face with the man. It was dark in the room and you couldn't exactly see all his features but his enchanting green eyes would forever be burned into your memory - they seemed dashing, hypnotizing. You couldn't utter a word.

"It's me, the person you've been talking to all these months. I came to take you home" He spoke out suddenly, the line of his mouth twisting into a smile or a smirk, you couldn't quite tell. You shook your head no, tears threatening to spill all over your cheeks from the fear. It couldn't be him, the man would never do that to you. Or would he? With what little information you knew, you couldn't really tell. His hold finally loosen, seeing you quiet like that.

"Let me go, please." You begged, pushing at his shoulders weakly since you were still sleepy, groggy and tired. "I don't know you." You said, hoping this would remind the stranger you weren't friends, lovers or anything that gave him the right to be so close to you, to touch you so intimately. Unfortunately, this only seemed to amuse him and he chucked darkly as he pulled your hair away to place a small chaste kiss on your neck.

"But I know you, flower." Your supposed online friend replied shortly after, his eyes full of malice. "And your little show today makes me think you want to know me too." He added in a low tone, licking his lips before smashing them on yours, forcing his tongue deep into your mouth just to hear your whines and protests. Then it hit you. The camera, the virus, the questions. He had watched you, he knew where you worked, where you lived and studied, everything. You had told him after all.

The hacker thought you looked so adorable right now, figuring things out, helpless, confused, regretful and most of all, weak. You were so weak and careless, and he loved you for it. It reminded him of himself before life screwed him over.

You wouldn't be in this position, underneath him, if you had just told someone about your laptop virus and the bad guy you had encountered online. But Saeran couldn't say he wasn't glad your self-preservation instincts were so very broken and dysfunctional. He wouldn't meet you otherwise. "I need you, princess. That's why I'll take you to Paradise." These were the final words you heard before you felt lightheaded and sleepy again, your last memory a pair of green mint eyes.

You really shouldn't have trusted strangers on the internet.

[ms-demeanor]

The Very Basics of Not Killing Your Computer

AVOID HEAT STRESS

If you have a laptop DO NOT use it on a soft surface like a pillow or on a blanket, it’ll block the vents on your computer and make it get really fucking hot inside.

If you have a desktop you gotta open it up and blow out the dust sometimes.

If you are moving your laptop in a bag turn the laptop off. Don’t put it to sleep, don’t just shut the screen, turn it off, because otherwise it’s in the bag generating heat and there’s nowhere for the heat to go in the bag. OFF. Not sleep. OFF.

DO NOT DROP

Okay I know that should be obvious but drop damage to your hard drive is bad bad news. Be as careful as you can to set your computer gently on flat surfaces; don’t leave it hanging out on a bed where it can get knocked off, don’t set it on the roof of your car. And yes, just dropping it a couple inches can kill your hard drive or totally shatter your screen.

DON’T PUT SHIT ON YOUR KEYBOARD

Look I’ve seen four people ruin their laptops because they had a pen on the keyboard and closed the laptop and it fucked up the screen and the keyboard and it sucks so much and you feel awful after it happens because it’s so avoidable just don’t put things on your keyboard and always check that your laptop is clear before you close it.

PROTECT YOUR PORTS ON YOUR LAPTOP

You’ve only got one power jack and a limited number of other inputs on your computer and if they detach from the motherboard you’re fucked. USB ports get damaged because people use them a lot and eventually it weakens the connection and then they just stop working and it sucks. You can get around this with USB ports by using a USB hub to connect things like your keyboard and mouse.

For your power plug you just gotta be careful. Avoid tripping over the cord at all costs, don’t yank the plug out of the computer. It will SUCK VERY MUCH A LOT if you have to buy a new computer because the power port lost contact with the motherboard.

Don’t move your computer with things plugged into it. Take the power cord off before you put your laptop in the bag, take out the USB mouse dongle, do not travel with little nubby bits sticking out of your computer that can easily get caught or get tweaked or snap off inside of the thing.

(I really can’t emphasize enough that most of the “it will cost more than it’s worth to fix this” laptops I see are because of USB ports and power jacks. People don’t seem to know that this isn’t something that can be fixed easily; a broken power jack is a “remove the motherboard and resoldier components” job, not a “plug a new one in in fifteen minutes” job and most computer repair shops aren’t going to solder things for you and if they DO it’s going to be very expensive)

RESTART YOUR SHIT AT LEAST ONCE A MONTH AND JUST LET THE FUCKING UPDATES RUN

You should probably restart more than once a month but whatever. This is actually something that I consider part of reducing heat stress because when your processor is straining to keep up with all the background bullshit that’s running from a program you opened three weeks ago it’s going to use up resources and get hot and look just restart it once in a while.

Also the updates are almost always okay and safe and generally running updates is a good and secure thing to do (though maybe follow a blog dedicated to the OS you run because if there IS a problem with the updates that blog will probably talk about it before the update gets forced on your computer)

ANTIVIRUS BULLSHIT

Yes you should probably be running an antivirus.

Sophos is free and it’s fine. But don’t pay for it - if you’re using Sophos use the free version.

If you’re looking for something paid and a little more comprehensive I recommend ESET - get the cheap version, renewals cost less than the initial purchase, and feel free to get a multi-year version, the credentials follow your email not the computer so if your computer dies before your license expires you can install the license on a new computer.

DO NOT INSTALL NORTON OR MCAFEE THEY ARE EXPENSIVE BULLSHIT. Kaspersky is whatever. It’s less bullshit than Norton or McAfee but not as good as ESET for about the same cost.

If you think you’ve got a virus run the free version of Malwarebytes and get your shit cleaned.

KEEP LIQUIDS THE FUCK AWAY FROM YOUR COMPUTER

Again this should be obvious and yet. But seriously, just make a rule for yourself that drinks aren’t allowed on the same table as your computer and you’ll save yourself a lot of headaches.

PLUG YOUR COMPUTER INTO A UPS

Okay I fucking hate amazon but here’s a thing you should be using, just search the rest of the internet for “surge protector/UPS” and you’ll find something that isn’t from amazon - APC is a solid brand for this.

Basically you want a fat surge protector that has a little bit of a battery backup and you want to plug your computer (desktop OR laptop) into that instead of into the wall. The benefit of this is twofold:

1) if there’s a power surge the UPS will prevent your computer’s power supply from getting fried and possibly frying parts of your motherboard

2) if there’s a power outage and you’re *at* your computer you’ll have enough time to save what you’re working on before your computer loses power (like, you’ll maybe only have a minute or two on a small UPS but that’s still time to hit CTRL+S and keep from losing work)

At a bare, bare minimum your computer should be plugged into a surge protector but NOT directly into the wall.

BACK YOUR SHIT UP

[we interrupt this yelling for me to tell you that Western Digital has apparently released their new My Passport line and I’m obligated to inform you that you can get a 2.5″ USB 3.0 backup drive with FIVE FUCKING TERABYTES OF STORAGE for $130. Or you can get 4TB for $93. Or you can get 1TB for $53. basically what I’m saying is that it is not only cheap computer season it is also cheap hard drive season.]

[also if you’re getting a backup drive get western digital not seagate seagate fucking sucks and has a much higher failure rate]

Uh, okay, anyway - Do an image backup of your computer every once in a while so that if you get infected or your hard drive dies or whatever you can just restore from backup and move on like nothing happened.

HERE’S HOW TO DO AN IMAGE BACKUP.

SAVE YOURSELF THE WEAR AND TEAR

You know what is cheap? USB Keyboards and USB mice. You know what is not cheap? Fixing the touchpad on a laptop or replacing a laptop keyboard.

Get yourself a USB hub, a USB Keyboard and a USB Mouse (wired or wireless, doesn’t matter) and if you’re using your laptop at home plug *that* into your computer.

Also if your keyboard on your laptop breaks it’s fine just to use a USB keyboard instead I promise; if the screen breaks it’s also usually cheaper and easier to get a used or inexpensive monitor than it is to replace the screen. Your laptop is basically just a very small version of whatever bullshit is going on inside a desktop, if the peripherals break but the core components are fine you can just use it like a desktop.

Unless it’s a piece of shit that doesn’t have any USB ports or video out in which case you got ripped off, friend, demand functionality in your devices I’m sorry.

/rant

[littlemisslipbalm]

“harry’s stylist, right?” part II

Harry and his stylist go from colleagues to friends to lovers because they’ve been in love with each other from the jump

this gif bc i couldn’t fine the fit i wanted to showcase, but that night him and y/n get closer than they had gotten before :))

and we’re back :) - this is the last part of this i may do some little blurbs and stuff about these two if people want it (maybe) i hope you all enjoy this part, it’s not proofread so sorry about that lol. Feedback and reblogs are so very very appreciated, also feel free to message me about you’re feelings about this

Word Count: just over 10k | Warnings: swearing, alcohol consumption, implication of smut, i think that’s it

part 1

-

After the call with Jeff, which wasn’t really a conversation at all, moreso a berating from him, she was in the worst mood. She shrugged off the Bode jacket and hung it up in her entryway closet. She wasn’t planning on wearing it ever again. Without the jacket on, her shirt that seemed to be exactly on the nose with it’s “we’re in the shit” graphic was clear and she untucked it from her light mint pants. She was exhausted, both physically and mentally. Instead of picking her phone up again, she decided she could do without communication for a while. Her feet padded to her bedroom, after removing her nikes and socks. In her bedroom she opened up her record player, wanting music, but not wanting to be bothered with her laptop since it had a connection to the internet. 

She grabbed her Electric Warrior by T. Rex and slipped out the first record from its sheath. As she set up the music, she couldn’t remember where she’d even gotten the record but for some reason it had called to. She skipped over Mambo Sun, the first track, though, and had it play Cosmic Dancer first. It was calming to her, she swayed a bit to the soothing beat and then climbed into her bed. Staring at the ceiling, she wondered about when her life had gotten so complicated. The rhythm in the music and the exhausting thought material lulled her to sleep as the afternoon sun washed her room a perfect golden from behind her shade.

When she woke up again, it was midnight and she was starving. The record had stopped spinning hours ago, she hadn’t even gotten through side A. It was forgotten as she made her way to her kitchen, groggily.

After settling on cereal and an alcoholic seltzer for dinner, she was really in the mood to treat herself, she made her way back to her living space. On the couch, she tucked her legs beneath herself and spooned the sugary food into her mouth. She had only soy milk in the place because she didn’t like cow’s milk and it didn’t keep when she was gone for extended periods of time. Then as she sipped from the black cherry White Claw, she dug her hand into the cushion next to her. Her hand reemerged with her discarded phone from earlier. She decided it was reasonable to go on it now.

More messages from various people in her life and hundreds of social media notifications. She was going to ignore social media for as long as she possibly could. Four missed calls. 2 voicemails. Styles Harry. Why she kept contacts backwards in her phone was unimportant, it’s just what she did.  

She sighed and took a bigger sip of the barely alcoholic drink. Then clicked the voicemail notifications and pressed the first one on speaker as she began to read his texts as well. Then the next voicemail. She checked the time in California, it was still a reasonable part of the day there so instead of texting back she rang him.

“Hello?”

“Har- H. Hi.”

“Y/N! Are you alright?” The concern apparent in his tone. She was taken aback. He hadn’t necessarily sounded angry in his texts or voicemails, but she just assumed he was being courteous since it was a live conversation.

“You’re not mad at me?”

“No! Why would I be?”

“Because I just had my ass handed to me by Jeff earlier.” She slightly mumbled and shrugged, still upset with how she had been spoken to by Jeff.

“Oh gosh, I told him not to be harsh. It’s honestly not a big deal. I thought it was fine, you texted me too!”

“Yeah, well apparently wearing your clothes means we’re dating and that’s not cool in the world’s eyes,” you scoff.

“I know how much you like that coat...I thought you looked great in it, too.” He finishes in a slight whisper, not wanting to be overheard.

“Harry…” you can’t keep the smile off your face. It was a cute compliment even if the situation wasn’t ideal. “Why do your fans have to be so smart and know there’s only two of those coats in the world and I don’t own the other one.”

He laughs, blushing at how you said his name. This time not using his nickname didn’t bother him, it felt even more intimate somehow.

He rubs a hand through his hair, “I know, pesky little devils, gotta love’em, though”

She hums, not sure if she can agree about loving them right now since they’re probably eating her alive all over social media.

“So you’re alright, darling?” He asks again.

“Mhmm,” she pauses at the pet name, it was soothing right now. All she wanted was to curl into his chest, but he was half a world away, quite literally. His words would have to do in his absence. “I’m really glad you’re not mad at me, H. That would’ve made this a hundred times worse.”

He huffs, wishing he could be with her to comfort her. He hated this part of his life. A friend couldn’t borrow a piece of his clothing without everyone assuming that they were seeing each other. It was disgusting and it made him dislike tabloids and social media even more than he already did.

“Trust me. I’d never be mad at you, pet. And I’d definitely never be mad at you for looking good as fuck in my clothes.”

“Shut up!” She squeals, his tone turning from earnest to teasing in one breath. He cackles on the other end of the line because despite her mean words, he could hear the smile on her lips.

“When are you flying back to London?” Her voice grows quiet again after she takes another sip of her drink.

“Thursday,” he almost whispers back, having contained his mirth again.

“We have some work to do on your Graham Norton and Jingle Bell Ball outfits. The listening party ones are all picked up -”

“Y/N,” Harry cuts her off, “It’s late for you, go to bed. Try not to stress out too much, we’ll talk when I’m back about work. For now, take a few days off to not think about my clothes.”

She sighs, “Thanks, H. You’re right. Have a good rest of your day.”

“Goodnight, m’love.”

She ends the phone call and chalks the almost ‘my’ sounding syllable that she heard before love was just her tired mind and Harry’s mumbling voice. It most certainly wasn’t.

-

After a restful few days of doing absolutely nothing, something rare for Y/N, she was extremely well rested. So much so that she was peacefully asleep when Harry let himself into her flat since they had agreed to meet at her place when he got back to London. As much as he wanted her to take time off and not over work herself, his schedule was a busy one and now that he was back, they had work to do.

Inside her flat, he was greeted with silence. He made his way to her bedroom at the back of the flat. He’d been here a handful of times. She always told him she preferred to spread out when she worked and Harry’s was the place for that. The door to the bedroom was slightly ajar and he pushed it open slowly with his ring clad hand. His black nails are freshly painted and shiny, no chips. Still in her bed, Y/N shifted around softly. He smiled to himself, taking in how the room smelled over lavender and how she had pink floral sheets. He walked to the window and raised the shade, hoping to have her wake up without and coaxing from him.

“H,” her voice mumbles into her pillow and he thinks she’s woken up. His face turns to look at her, but her eyes are still closed and she looks completely asleep. He wonders if she’s trying to trick him, but then she mumbles again.

“Mhhh, tha’ tickles,” and she giggles. He kind of grimaces, feeling like he shouldn’t be hearing this. He hadn’t known she spoke in her sleep, it was sweet, but with the context right now, he thought him having this knowledge might not sit well with her.

“Y/N,” he says loudly, before clearing his throat. Her eyes shoot wide and she sits up, dropping the sheet she had been snuggling.

“Harry! Oh my god!”

“Meeting, remember?”

“Oh my god,” she glances around her surroundings, Harry still standing at her window. “What time is it?”

“1 pm. We said 1 right?”

“We did, I just...I don’t know what happened. Sorry, give me a second. I’m out of it.”

When she emerged from her room, dressed and ready for the day, Harry had brewed a pot of coffee with her machine that she really only had for guests.

“Sorry again,” she sits at her countertop, searching for her notebook in her bag.

“No worries,” then he leans across the countertop, “Seemed like you were in the middle of a nice dream.”

His brows are raised as she avoids his gaze. She flushes easily, “I- it was...just one of those usual dreams.”

“You have dreams about me often?”

“I didn’t say that!” Her eyes shoot up to meet his and he grins. He takes a sip of his coffee before speaking again.

“I heard you say ‘H’.”

She rolls her eyes, “That proves nothing.”

They both stare at each other for a minute, not talking or moving. Harry is simply grinning at her as she twitches her hand with her pen in it now. Her eyes are trying to figure out what Harry’s getting at, searching his expression for how he feels about knowing she dreams of him. She certainly wasn’t going to get into it with him, even if he did continue prodding.

“Alright,” she begins when he doesn’t seem to want to press it further. “Oh!” She jumps up, dropping her pen and forgetting about whatever else she was going to say. “Your jacket! And shirt! I cleaned the shirt and the jacket…” She runs out of the room to go to her front closet where she had hung up both the jacket and the shirt.

Returning, she holds them out to Harry and he rounds the countertop to look at them.

“Perfect shape,” he admires the spotless shirt and his beloved jacket. He puts them on the back of the chair that was next to them. “Won’t forget my jacket again.”

She smiles sheepishly, thinking back to Jeff’s conversation with her. Harry notices her change in demeanor and takes one of her hands. Her eyes flash up to his face and her body tenses, he feels it even in her hand.

“Have you gone on any social media since you’ve been home?” His eyes are wide as he runs his thumb over the back of her hand.

She softens slightly, “Oh yeah, after the first day I decided to check. Most were funny and sweet, their nasty comments didn't get to me.”

Her eyes are big on her face and Harry watches as her worries and concerns all wash through the swirling colors in them. He wants to take all of that pain away and just stare into her abyss forever.

“What did Jeff say exactly?” He knows that’s what she’s alluding to. Harry loved his manager, but when he had called him about the jacket incident he had been pretty short with Harry and hadn’t given much information on his chat with Y/N. The way she looked right now bothered him because ultimately Harry was in charge of Y/N in his employment of her and if Jeff had acted like her superior in a way that was harmful he’d be downright upset.

Her eyes grow glassy immediately and Harry’s anger begins to bubble in the pit of his stomach. She tries to blink anything away, but fails.

“I don’t know why I’m crying, it wasn’t terrible. It’s just, all my life, I’ve had to work to be taken seriously because of who I am and I hate when I get talked down to by a man. Especially over a stupid fucking publicity thing for you. Like I’m sorry, but I don’t see you as a public figure where I have to worry about every goddamn thing I do messing up your image.” She pauses, taking a deep breath, realizing she’d gotten really worked up as she spoke. The tears running down her face more in anger than sadness. Harry watches on, letting her work through her thought process. “He was just so mean… for what?” She whispers finally.

“Oh god…darling,” Harry grips her hand more firmly. He wants to take her in his arms, but he’s not sure if that’s what’s best for her right now, so he just keeps holding her hand. She stares up at him, blowing a piece of hair out of her face. Her eyes now tinted a light red.

“I’m sorry he spoke to you in that way. That isn’t his job at all, I’ll definitely talk to him since I didn’t have the full story before. He gets very worried about the media perception thing, especially right now with the album.”  

She bites the inside of her cheek, blinking up at Harry. “I know your image is important, too, otherwise why the fuck would I be here? Right? I just don’t think it’s that big of a deal I borrowed the jacket.”

“In a perfect world my image wouldn’t matter at all,” Harry sighed, “Fame is a stupid, fickle thing musicians like me get stuck with.”

“Please, you love the attention,” she teases, poking at his chest. The sweatshirt he wore wrinkling under her touch.

“‘M serious,” he insists, “I’m saying it shouldn’t matter that you borrowed my jacket, but sadly it comes across to the rest of the world like I’m dating you.” He pokes her sternum in return.

“And that would be the end of the world?” she smiles, her tone still teasing, but that worry is back and swimming in her eyes again.

This time, though, Harry must not see it because he laughs and lets go of her hand. “For a lot of people, I think it might be.”

She bites at her lip and tries to contain the laugh that bubbles in her. He was right and as he wandered back into the kitchen for more coffee, she shook her head trying to rid herself of those pesky feelings that had been hoping for a different answer.

-

The next few weeks go off without a hitch. Harry’s outfits look incredible for the listening parties. Then for the Graham Norton Show, the Jingle Bell Ball, and the One Night Only at the Forum. Every single outfit is received with praise and everything seems to be coming up Harry Styles. Y/N has been traveling to most of his appearances, making sure everything is in order before he goes out. She’s always by his side before he walks out into the public eye. Taking his picture and saving it in the lookbook that keeps growing, smoothing over his lapels, either unbuttoning or buttoning a middle button when she thought he had too many or not enough undone for the look. Whatever it was, she was there for him.

Then, after his appearances, they would debrief. Debriefs really were just time that Harry carved out in his schedule to just be alone with Y/N. Sure, they talked about clothes, that’s how they had first connected, but it always turned to other ideas. They’d talk about his songs and she’d ask about the meanings that he wouldn’t share with the rest of the world. He’d happily tell her about it and they enjoyed that time together. There were stolen glances and lingering touches, but at the end of the day they were professionals who were friends. It wasn’t maybe what either of them wanted, but they weren’t unhappy.

Harry just got back from Los Angeles after filming for his Ellen show appearance and he was set to play the Bowery Ballroom tomorrow in London. After this there was going to be a lot of downtime on Harry’s schedule because of the holidays. He had marked out almost a whole month of time off, at least from appearances. They still had to start planning tour outfits and finalize the outfits for the events after the break. Right now, all she was focused on was getting Harry into the beautiful yellow Gucci suit that was a twin of the Watermelon Sugar suit he had worn on Saturday Night Live. Harry said he wanted to check the suit before tomorrow for some reason, so Y/N had made her way over.

She finished buttoning the sleeves of the jacket and stepped back to admire Harry once again. No matter what he wore he always looked marvelous in her eyes. She’d argue anyone could say that about Harry though. He could pull anything off and make it his own with barely any effort.

Today, his hair was disheveled and mused from his plane ride back into London. The flight from California to England was a rough one, even when you traveled in the type of luxury Harry did. Despite his tired body and eyes, the suit looked stunning on him. He wore it without shoes and she giggled when she saw his feet. His feet tattoos never failed to make her laugh and she had no explanation for why.

While Harry looked good in everything, there actually was something a little off with the suit right now. Normally, it hugged him just right to make him look perfectly muscled and defined, but it seemed to be hanging a little looser in some areas.

She tapped a finger to her lip, looking him over, unsure of what was off.

“Did you lose weight, H?”

“Huh?” He looks down at himself and somewhat notices the looser fit, but wasn’t quite sure if he had lost weight. “Don’t think so.”

She hums and steps closer to him, dropping her hands to tug at various parts of the suit, trying to figure out whether she should take anything in or leave it be.

“It’s probably all the travel I’ve been doin’. Can be draining me more than I realize.” He ponders as she continues to work silently over the suit.

Her hands travel beneath the suit and encircle his waist, almost as if she’s hugging him, but not really. His stomach flexes at the contact, her chest pressed softly against his. She grips a bit of the shirt from the back and then unfolds herself from him to look at the mirror. The shirt is now taut against his sternum and pectorals under the coat. She tilts her head, silently asking him his opinion.

“I think it’s fine the way it is, honestly.”

“Okay,” she nods and releases her hold on the shirt, hand slithering out from beneath his coat. He exhales deeply through his nose. “Make sure you eat properly tonight.” She says before beginning to pack up her things, done for the day. Harry begins to undress himself.

She turns back to face him as he hands her the jacket and shirt, her eyes run over the length of his torso, both for the sake of checking on his health and for other purely selfish reasons. All the tattoos still remained where they always were when she saw him like this. It never got old, his beautiful body. He didn’t even need clothes to look good. She blinks back to reality when the fabric comes in contact with her hand.

“Make sure you treat yourself this holiday season, you deserve it, H. And it seems like any weight you ever gain is muscle anyways, so you don’t exactly have to worry around the sweets table.”

Harry laughs heartily as he slips on his long sleeve shirt he was wearing. Then he starts on the pants as she turns away again to hang up the top parts of the suit.

Finally, she adds when he hands her the suit pants, “Just don’t want you overworking yourself, seriously, H.”

He looks at her as he buttons up his baggy blue jeans. The outfit he wore was just the first clean things he had grabbed when he had gotten home. His green eyes turn serious after the mirthfilled last few moments.

He crosses to her side as she puts away the clothes in the garment bag. His hand lands softly on her shoulder and she turns to him at his touch. “I know. You’re so good to me, darling. Always making sure I’m taking care of myself…”

It’s quiet. The soft breeze in the London air outside barely whispers around the house. Harry’s voice was laced with love, even if it wasn’t his intention. His ‘thank you’ was piercing into her heart and his touch wasn’t helping her stay focused. Her breath caught in her throat when she felt Harry take a step closer to her, his head ducking slightly down to her level. Then, right on the edge of her left temple and her hairline, his soft lips pressed against her skin. They brushed against her for just a moment, lingering for the respectful amount of time. But all she wanted was anything but respectful. She wanted his lips pressed against hers, she wanted his hands in her hair, yanking her deeply into him. She wanted to scream when he pulled away, but she didn’t. She smiled warmly up at Harry and her eyelashes fluttered on their own accord like a schoolgirl with a crush.

“Thank you,” he whispers again.

“What would you do without me?” She pushes at him playfully, shaking off her giddiness. Then she turns back to her work, scooping up all the items of hers on the table.

“Probably have to walk around naked, huh?”

“Oh my god!” She laughs and starts for the door, Harry follows behind to walk to her out to her car. “Maybe I should quit! People would love it.” She continues laughing as she hangs the garment in the passenger's seat side.

“No thank you, please,” Harry hurriedly says.

She turns to him as she closes the door and leans against the car. This was their routine right before she left, a final chat against the car before she drove off for the night.

“Tomorrow’s going to be amazing, H. It’s gonna be electric!” She scrunches her nose slightly at the pun about the venue as she smiles up at him.

He sticks his tongue into the side of his cheek, holding back a laugh. His eyes narrow at her, slyly. “Very funny.”

She only winks at him before pushing herself off of her car and walks to the driver’s side of the car.

He waves as she begins to pull out of the driveway and she flashes him a peace sign and a mouthed ‘Bye’ when she turns onto the street.

-

After the Bowery Ballroom show, Y/N barely sees Harry at the after party. She doesn’t worry about it too much. His management was going to have a holiday party next week before the little break began for the team. So, she knew she’d see him before she flew back to see her family for the holidays. She was going home for two weeks and then would be back for New Year’s and then would get back to work after that.

She saw Harry exactly twice after the show. First, she saw Harry right after the show and he was all sweaty and exhilarated. He tackled her in a bear hug with such strength she would have fallen back if he hadn’t been holding her so tightly. When he pulled away, he placed two extremely slobbery kisses on her cheeks and she laughed, tipping her head back in pure bliss. Then he was pulled away by Jeff to change and get ready for the after party.

Jeff had apologized over text about the tone he had taken over the whole jacket thing, but only Harry had told him to. It was fine with Y/N, she told him that too, but she just never felt like being around him for very long if she could help it after that. That’s why she liked that most of her job entailed dealing with Harry directly. If she had to go through Jeff for everything she’d likely pull her hair out. He was still short with her at whole team meetings and not necessarily courteous when they were around each other casually. Like she said, it was fine, she just didn’t make it her business to be around Jeff.

The second time she saw Harry was around half past one am. She was pretty sure it was time for her to uber home and she wanted to say goodbye to Harry. Her well-liquored body stumbled around the big room. Deciding to take shots with the band had gotten her to where she was now and she wasn’t complaining she was happy. She was in a celebratory mood and wanted to see Harry right now. Tell him how much fun she had and how proud she was of him. How much she loved him… Hopefully she kept that part to herself.

“Harry!” She finally exclaims, coming upon a group of people surrounding the star himself. She ignored the rest of the people, likely stars too, but she really couldn’t care less. One of them tried to straighten up as if he was going to block her from Harry, feeling like she maybe wasn’t someone Harry wanted to see since they didn’t know her. No one seemed to ever recognize Y/N as Harry’s stylist when it mattered. Harry waved them off, a little drunk as well, but obviously recognizing Y/N.

“Darling!” He exclaims and raises his arms out to her. She grips onto him quickly and snuggles into him happily. With her still in his arms, he turns them from the prying eyes of the group he had been with.

She raises her head from his warm chest so that her lips are near his ear, “Congratulations, Mr. Styles.”

“Thanks, baby,” he purrs into her ear, his voice coarse and low, carrying over the music. She giggles at the nickname, her entire plan going out the metaphorical window.

Her fingers smooth up over the fabric on his chest, a nice short sleeve silk button down that was tucked into dark high waisted trousers - they’d picked it out last week. One of her fingers begins to trace around his collarbone after she reaches the opening of the shirt. His eyes flutter shut at the contact. They were so needy for each other. Each touch would coarse heat through them every time.

“I’m going…” She says after a moment of silence between them. The party was raging around them, most not paying any mind to the two of them off in their own world.

“Don’t go,” Harry practically begs. A hand flies up to pet over the top of her hair and she smiles even wider.

“It’s late and I’m tired,” she makes a face in response to Harry’s pout, “You have lots of people to entertain, Mr. Styles.” Her teeth capture her bottom lip as she stares at him intently.

He groans and pulls her closer. This time his lips brush right against her ear and she wants to shiver, but he keeps her in place. “If you keep calling me that, you’re gonna drive me insane.”

Her eyes widen but her hazy mind isn’t processing all of what is going on. She barely takes inventory of ‘baby’, for him to say she’s turning him on without actually saying it. Tomorrow Y/N would have to deal with that one.

She pulls back from him, creating space between their chests, but he still holds her waist close to him. She leans up and places a kiss on the corner of his lips. It’s technically supposed to be a kiss on the cheek but if she had moved her lips a millimeter to the right they would have been on Harry’s. This gesture has his grip tightening on her, but she pulls away.

“Goodnight!” She sings as she bounces out of sight, wiggling her fingers in a wave before completely being gone.

Harry sighs and runs a hand over his face, kind of in shock of the last five minutes. He had liked it. He just hadn’t expected it. When he turns his attention back to the group that was behind him, it’s not the same as it was before. Jeff looks at him with narrowed eyes and Harry’s eyes go wide and his grin widens as well.

-

Tonight is the management holiday party for Harry’s team. Y/N and Harry had seen each other two days after the Electric Ballroom to debrief, but mostly to get brunch. They didn’t talk about the little teases they shared at the after party. Both of them just assumed that the other probably didn’t remember and didn’t want to go through the trouble and embarrassment of recounting it. Alcohol has that effect of making you a little bolder than you actually are.

Brunch with Harry solidified Y/N’s thoughts on fame. Celebrity could be so strange, because there was the one day when she got photographed with just Harry’s jacket on and there was speculation of dating, but then she could go out to brunch with him and not be bothered at all. It made absolutely no sense.

Anyway, tonight there were no gifts, but Y/N had gotten Harry something even though he said he never needs anything. She hoped she’d be able to give it to him after they were walking back to their transportation since she wanted it to be a surprise and not have everyone know she gave him a gift. It wasn’t a big deal - or maybe it was - it was just an item she knew Harry had been fawning over. It was so him and she knew he’d probably end up buying it for himself eventually, but it felt nice to be able to give him something for once. Price didn’t matter. Still, she was a little nervous and tucked and re-tucked it several times in the back seat of her car before heading inside.

It was a restaurant his management had rented out for their party. She gave her name and headed inside. The lighting was overly dimmed and it smelled like expensive alcohol and delicious food. It was everything an A-list singer deserved as a celebration. She never could fully grasp that the Harry she had gotten to know as her friend was also the same Harry that the entire world was infatuated with, for good reason. He was charming in the best way, terribly sincere, insanely talented, and all around a good human being. She knew that, it just surprised her that everyone else knew it too. There was just that disconnect for her that she shared him with the rest of the world.

Her high heeled heels brought her to the backroom of the restaurant. They managed to shimmer even in the dim light. She had gone for winter chic with a sequin and mesh white dress, that looked like fresh snow with a cream and blue swirling design on the under layer so that her undergarments weren’t showing through. It was like a modern ice princess look that was finished with her heels that had sparkles on the entire back of them. Her hair was down and her makeup a little more done up than usual. She used a light blue eyeshadow to imitate ice and added some rhinestones on the inner parts of her eyes. She may have watched a Euphoria-inspired makeup look tutorial on youtube and she wasn’t afraid to admit that.

The scene she came upon was what she expected. Lots of men in suits and a good amount of women in power suits too. The people in any interesting clothes were Harry and his band. Some of the business people’s partners were dressed up more but it all wasn’t too exciting. Plus, Harry’s famous friends group hadn’t shown up yet. Y/N hid her disappointment easily, not surprised about the lack of flavor she saw in the style. She just repeated the mantra her mother had always told her: “You can never be overdressed, only underdressed.” It stuck with her always and made her go for those bolder styles when she needed to.

Harry was there, sipping on a glass of water. She figured he might not want to get started on drinking so early in the evening. Tonight didn’t feel like a drinking night for her either. After the last big party, she had woken up with a massive hangover and a few memories that she wished she hadn’t made. She wasn’t planning on repeating that series of events.

As she goes to grab a glass of water on the large table, she gets a tap on her shoulder. She spins.

“Happy Holidays, darling!”

Her eyes widen and her smile immediately grows. Harry grins back at her, his mouth open in the perfect winning smile of his and his eyes twinkling with happiness.

“Happy Holidays to you too, Mr.-” She stops herself, remembering back to the last party, “H.” She finishes firmly after clearing her throat. Harry’s grin turns to a wicked knowing smirk.

“I’m happy you came! I know you’re not super connected to all of the groups here, Harry Lambert is around somewhere though and I know he’s been wanting to talk with you about clothes.”

Harry watches as her eyes shine even brighter when he mentions the other stylist. It was true, Y/N didn’t really mesh with any of the groups that worked around Harry. The stylist kind of stood alone in regards to where she fit into his life, not the business part, not the band part, not the crew, and not the other celebrities. Harry Lambert and other fashion people didn’t always come to these events so it was seldom that Y/N had her own people to talk to. Not that mingling was hard for her, he just knew she didn’t like to do that as much so whenever another stylist or designer was there he always made sure to introduce them - if they weren’t already acquainted.

“That’s amazing! I haven’t seen him in ages… I’ll have to get his opinion on how I’ve been doing.”

Harry licks his lips as he laughs a little at her comment. She looked beautiful tonight and he wanted to tell her.

“Harry. What the hell are you wearing?” Her eyes flash as she takes in his appearance.

He looks down at himself and then back at her confused. They hadn’t picked the outfit out, but he thought it looked nice.

“Obviously not the suit! On your head?”

“Oh. It’s a gift from Mitch and Sarah.” He pauses to reach up to play with the headband sat on top of his curls. “It’s mistletoe and it seems like you’re standing beneath it. You know what that means,” he toys with it as he wiggles his eyebrows.

She scoffs sarcastically, looking to the side for a means of escape, “No way.”

“C’mon! It’s tradition!” He steps forward playfully and she places a hand on his chest.

“You can kiss my cheek.” She says finally and Harry looks at her disapprovingly.

He wags a finger at her with his free hand, “You’re the one under the mistletoe, you have to kiss me.”

“Okay that’s definitely not how this works! Now you don’t get any kiss at all, you cheeky bastard.”

“Fine. But don’t come crying to me when you’re the one with coal in your stocking.”

“Haha.” Her eyes once again roll to the side as she pushes him back and he steps back like she actually had a strong push. Then they both actually laugh and she gives him a quick side hug with a whispered, “there”. Harry smiles down at her, but it falters slightly when she’s already pulling away. He wanted her at his side the entire night, but sadly that wasn’t reality.

She drags him around the restaurant in search of Harry Lambert since the party had started to grow and she needed his height to get her where she wanted to go. Maybe. Or maybe she just liked the way he held her hand to lead her through the crowd that was most definitely not dense enough for her to have to hold on to him to stay with him at all.

She sees more of Harry at this party. They have some good conversations about plans for the holidays and snickering about who was already too drunk even though it wasn’t even midnight. She can’t believe he keeps on the stupid headband all night, giving and receiving various types of kisses from every person he talks to. Some are kisses on the cheek, others are friendly smooches on the mouth. Thankfully all of them are those cute little pecks that friends always tend to share, otherwise Y/N might have had to excuse herself and leave early. Jealous little thing.

As the night dragged on, she began to question herself on that front. Why was she growing jealous when friends would kiss Harry. She could've kissed Harry. She practically did the other week. But now, after refusing him a mistletoe kiss and seeing everyone else do what she didn’t have the courage to do, she felt childish. Well, childish or not, she knew why she couldn’t kiss him. Kissing Harry wouldn’t be just a friend thing for her. It would mean a lot more and if it was just a friend thing for him she wouldn’t be sure if she could handle going on with their working relationship after. Her job was the most important thing in her life. Being a stylist, loving clothes, and working on personal designs for the future was her life. Giving up this prestigious of a job was out of the question. Maybe the idea of being with Harry had crossed her mind, but she didn’t know how it could ever be realistic. If they got together could she keep her job? Would she have to quit? And find a new one? There were too many unknowns for her to ever actually entertain it. That’s why they went to the edge so often, she always would back away and she was sure that if she didn’t, Harry would for her.

He knew her. He knew her passion, he watches it firsthand everyday they work together. Even when they’re not working he can see her mind forming different ideas just based off of the things she sees people wear on the streets. He watches her fingers fiddle over her phone, typing out notes for design ideas and screenshotting inspiration. So every time they went to the edge of changing their relationship, he knew he couldn’t push it because he never wanted to hurt her or her dreams in some way. She was too important to him to simply mess that up.  Even if it hurt him.

So when Harry slides in the back of her car that night at 2 am because Y/N says she has something important to show him, he’s fully ready to stop their flirting from going any further. And when she tells him she needs to show him something, she has the most pure intentions when she pulls out the nicely wrapped box, its wrapping paper a swirling lavender pattern that’s really not festive at all, but she prefers it.

He looks between her and the box that she’s now placed in his lap. His green eyes flickering even in the darkness of the car, the city lights illuminating the backseat enough for them.

“You know I don’t need anything…” He fiddles with the skinny mesh ribbon neatly tied around the box.

She makes a little gesture, pushing him to open the present, “I know, but I also know you’ve been wanting this and you deserve it.”

He unwraps the paper to reveal a Gucci box and he rolls his eyes at her, but smiles genuinely as he lifts the top of the box off. It reveals a 1955 Horsebit Shoulder Bag in beautiful shiny black leather. It’s gorgeous.

“I can’t...I don’t know what to say,” Harry’s eyes are huge as his delicate hands ghost over the bag's details. He had been wanting it and he hadn’t gotten the courage to buy it yet. He liked purses, but sometimes he even had his doubts about what he could pull off.

His eyes go back to her and she smiles widely at him, all her teeth on display because she’s just that happy. “This is a really expensive bag, Y/N.”

“If it makes you feel better I can charge it as a wardrobe expense, but then it’s not really a gift from me,” She sighs at his unrelenting gaze.

“Thank you.” He touches at the bag again and then does a dance in his spot. “And don’t worry, I will always remember this as a gift from you. I love it.”

She smiles and leans over the box to look at the bag, admiring the beauty of it as well. “It’s pretty great.”

“Mhmm,” Harry hums and she raises her eyes, seeing his trained on her face. “You’re under the mistletoe again, darling,” he smirks.

Her breath stops once again, how could he do that to her so easily? Their eyes stay locked under the city lights. The fake mistletoe bobs above them still connected to the silly headband. It’s colorful leaves and fun stripes mock her when she flicks her gaze up to it for a moment. Then back to Harry. Harry who’s holding the gift she just gave him. Harry who looks beautiful tonight. Harry who is her favorite person in the world to spend time with.

Now. Now is when she pulls back from the ledge. This is when she takes a step back and stops herself. When Harry laughs it off. When she pushes him away. When they go about the rest of their day like that electricity hadn’t gone up either of their spines.

But that’s not what happens. Instead, she nods in agreement and then crashes her lips against Harry’s. It’s not like those friend kisses that had happened with him all night under that same mistletoe. It’s hard and hot and fast. Her lips are pressed to his for one searing moment and then she’s biting his lip, desperate to taste more of him. She had been longing for this for so long and now that she had it, she couldn’t let it go.

Harry’s hands fly to her cheeks as he pulls her closer, more into his lap. He pushes the box into the front area of the car blindly. The gift was completely forgotten. This was a far more important matter. Her lips were wet and plush and they tasted like the single Manhattan she had halfway through the night and vanilla lip gloss. When she bites his lip, he can’t hold back the moan inside his throat and she presses her tongue into his mouth quickly. He was her oasis and she had been traveling for months. He responds with similar vigor, enjoying the way her body presses to his in the backseat of this little car.

They kiss for as long as they can. Licking, sucking, and biting each other’s lips to taste as much as they can. But it’s just kissing. Neither of them work to travel anywhere else. Their lips are seemingly enough. Each press of their lips communicates what they had been longing for. It’s euphoric.

When the windows start to fog and her eyes open for a random moment, she realizes they need to cool whatever this is.

“H-Harry,”  She gulps for a breath of air and she tries to get his attention. “I gotta get home.”

“Come back to my place,” he mumbles into her collarbone, happily licking over his love bite.

She laughs and swallows slowly, “That is definitely out of the question, I have a flight tomorrow.”

He removes his mouth from her and straightens up. His lips are even brighter pink than usual and perfectly puffy. His hair disheveled from her hands. She blushes at the thought.

“Right, forgot about that,” he opens the car door and they both slide out. They stand at her car, just like they usually did outside his house. However this time is quite different from most.

They sigh heavily, in unison. The winter air is cold in London. She shivers slightly and knows she can’t stay in his presence much longer.

“Merry Christmas, H.”

He leans down and places one last sweet kiss to her lips. She wrinkles her nose and smiles  unabashedly.

“Merry Christmas, Darling.”

-

Harry and her don’t talk as much while she’s back home for the holidays. There’s no work to be discussed and while they parted on not necessarily bad terms, there was definitely a conversation that needed to be had between the two. Neither seemed to want to have that conversation over the phone, or worse, text. So for the next week and a half, Harry and Y/N exchanged texts of funny memes that reminded them of each other and odd anecdotes from family members that had made them laugh. Nothing really substantial, just small, I was thinking of you messages.

When she walked out of the luggage carousel at London Heathrow Airport, she expected to be getting in the queue for an uber. Instead, before she could cross the street to get to the queue even, a tall man stopped her. A tall, scruffy, extremely buff, extremely handsome, and extremely kissable man. Harry. It would be terribly strange if it was anyone else.

“Excuse me, ma’am, do you need a lift back to your flat?” His dark sunglasses cover his face and a big coat, scarf, and hat make him hardly recognizable. The curls sticking out from beneath the cute knit scarf are thankfully a dead give away for her. As well as his perfect drawling voice.

She shivered in the cold, her matching grey sweatpants and Treat People With Kindness sweatshirt had been warm enough on the flight, but proved inadequate for almost January in London. Yet, Harry’s presence brings a smile to her face.

“It’s good to see you, H.”

He laughs, his cover obviously blown. His arms encircle her body and she instantly melts into his embrace. His large coat easily fell around her and warmed her. His own natural body heat adds to her new found warmth as well.

“You too,” he murmured. His head buries into the crook of her neck, warming her cold skin.

He pulls back after a rather long embrace, realizing they’re still out on the sidewalk. He takes one step back and she visibly deflates at his absence, the cold once again surrounding her.

“Let’s get you home,” he grabs at the handle of her suitcase in one hand and her hand in the other. The warmth returns and she grins, placated by his touch.

“So are you coming to my party tonight?” He inquires once he settles into the driver’s seat after putting her suitcase in the back.

She shifts in her seat, arms wrapped tightly around herself, still cold without any warmth from Harry or the car. “Don’t you suppose there was a reason why I chose to come home today?”

Harry’s ears perk at the use of home, never assuming Y/N viewed London as her home, still it made him smile.

As the car purrs to life, heat immediately seeping out of the seats and vents, Harry’s phone connects as well. NFWMB by Hozier begins to play softly and she glances at Harry again. The song was so sultry and soft, like expensive dark chocolate melting on your tongue. The mood in the car seemed to shift. Their eyes met, Harry’s green ones narrowing at her, trying to decipher the look she was giving to him.

Then he drove off, softly singing along to the words through the sleepy streets. It was surprisingly quiet out for the holidays, people choosing to lay low during the day so they could celebrate the changing of decades in full force tonight.

After the song ends, his eyes travel over to her again and she’s already looking at him. She had missed his face. Sure, he’d sent some silly selfies while she was gone. Mostly on Christmas Eve with his family when he had gotten drunk on mulled wine and eggnog and brandy. Still, in person, he was even more beautiful. The high cheek bones that glistened with a shine most makeup could only hope to produce. Full raspberry lips with stubble growing to frame above and below. The crinkles growing on his forehead and by his eyes that showed him aging with grace. The precious few moles that had gotten lucky enough to live on his face forever. His big green eyes that were consistently bright with interest and intellect, but deep and knowing despite his loving demeanor. She loved those big green eyes, they were just so big and she didn’t understand how no one took the same interest in them as her. All of it, just sitting there beside her. Don’t even get her started on the soul that inhabited the beautiful man beside her. She never would stop spiraling then.

“What?” He asks softly, the sounds of Paul McCartney during some era fading in.

She blinks, hazily in admirance, “Nothing,” she replies.

“What?” He insists, laughing slightly, the lips she loves so much widening in excitement.

“Just missed you.”

Her voice is quiet but strong, serious. A blush creeps up his neck, taking hold of his features.

“Missed you too,” his left hand reaches across the console to take hold of her hand that resided on her thigh. He squeezes her hand softly and they both smile at each other again.

“Don’t worry, I can get my stuff upstairs. I don’t want you being out in the cold any longer than you have to. I’ll see you tonight, H!” She pushes her body across the console and places a kiss on his cheek before jumping out of the car. Harry makes a half smile, knowing he can’t change her mind. He waves to her behind the window as she travels into her building.

“See you.” He says to himself before driving back to his home to finish up preparing for tonight’s festivities. The party was going to be more intimate than the Christmas party at the restaurant. Tonight was just Harry’s family and closest friend - the band, Jeff and his family, Y/N, and a few others.

-

The whole night Harry and Y/N are within a foot of each other, if not on top of each other. He never leaves her side nor does she his. They are tethered to one another. The longest they’re apart is when Harry gets them refills of Champagne and Y/N journeys to the restroom. They laugh and catch up.

As the night goes on, Harry begins to whisper sweet nothings in her ear and she giggles and places her hand on his chest flirtily. Their interaction is a dance, bedroom eyes and low voices, lingering touches and suggestive lip bites.

When the countdown begins to grow closer, everyone refills their drinks and gathers in the center of Harry’s living room. They cheer and countdown to 2020. And of course, Y/N’s by Harry’s side as he begins the count. And when they get to ‘one’ and everyone’s saying “Happy New Year”, Harry and her are sharing a chaste peck to the lips that electrifies everything they had been saying to each other all night. She sighs into his mouth, but pulls away quickly, aware of their surroundings. No one particularly questions the kiss, either not paying attention or caring. Harry beams down at her and they enjoy the rest of the evening.

At around 1 am, the last of the guests stumble out of Harry’s homes and into waiting ubers and safe rides. Y/N lingers back, beginning to clean the discarded glassware and paper plates. Her and Harry are definitely tipsy, but they enjoy the cleaning work, making terrible jokes about New Year’s and commenting on what people wore tonight. When it’s relatively cleaned in the kitchen, Y/N wanders out to the living room and finds Harry reclined back on the couch.

“H,” She sticks out her foot and nudges him with her boot.

“C’mere,” he reaches out his hand to her, his coat discarded, leaving his arms bare with only a white tank top on.

She takes his hand hesitantly and is yanked on top of Harry in an instant. With a loud huff, she settles above him. “That wasn’t nice.”

“Shush,” his pointer finger goes over her lips, her eyes narrow at him, “Can you believe we’re seeing 2020?”

“Oh my god! I hate you!” She rolls her eyes at his pun and shakes herself from his hand around her waist. She stands up to walk away but he easily grasps her wrist and stops her, easily sitting himself up on the couch.

He looks at her and her annoyance, that wasn’t all too strong in the first place, dissipates. She sighs, “I should probably be heading home.”

“You should stay, it’s so late,” his hand rubbing over the skin on her wrist.

She bites her lip, contemplating the offer, he was right. “I’m really tired and we haven’t really talked, H.”

“But we-”

“Not about us. We’ve been skirting around it, flirting with each other all night, but we haven’t talked about what’s going on. I can’t stay if you expect something from me.”

“I don’t expect anything from you, Y/N. That’s not why I want you to say,” Harry says earnestly, realizing quickly  what she’s saying. “I’ve never expected anything from you. An offer to stay is just an offer to stay.”

“Okay,” she finally smiles and sits down beside Harry.

“You can sleep in the guest bedroom, too. If that makes you more comfortable?”

“Oh...I don’t know if we have to take it that far. Plus, you’re like a personal heater and I get cold at night.”

Harry perks up, he had been feeling resigned that maybe she wasn't on the same page as him. He wanted to be with her all the time but also didn’t want to put any pressure on her. She just made him so happy.

“Great! Let’s get to bed then.” He pops up from the couch and brings her into his arms, “You know where all my clothes are, so you can just borrow whatever you want, and then I’m sure I have extra toothbrushes…”

She giggles into his side as she watches him ramble animatedly. Sometimes he was oh so bright, so joyful and carefree. A stark contrast from the quiet confidence he often exhibited for the public.

-

She woke up in the warm embrace of Harry. His whole bed smelled like him, vanilla mixed with spices of tobacco and sandalwood. It was delicious and she snuggled in deeper to the soft chest she laid against, breathing in his scent deeply.

They rested there for a long time. Harry makes his awakening known with a lingering kiss to her forehead. They both sigh in contentment, radiant in each other’s arms.

“What’s the plan today?” She ponders as Harry’s fingers trace patterns over her skin. He hums in thought.

“Wanna be with you…”

She laughs and looks up at him, “Me too, but we can’t lay around all day.”

“Well, we could.” Harry insists.

She laughs again and twists in his arms, settling so she’s facing him. She bites her lip as she thinks about something, scanning his face over and over.

“I’m gonna go home and get ready for the day. Let’s just explore the city and do some 2020 shopping. Who knows, maybe fashion’s changed since the last decade,” she grins.

Harry chuckles a little and pets at her hair, “I like the sound of that. And we can talk - about us.”

“Mmhmm.”

He tilts his head forward and meets her lips once again, savoring her taste. Each kiss makes him want more. She was good.

-

Harry lugs in the four heavy shopping bags into her flat, as she carries the single small bag from the chocolatier he had dragged them into. He presses her to the counter when he sets down the bags and begins to kiss her face all over. She giggles and places her hands on his shoulders, giving him a kiss to the lips before pulling away.

They had talked about what they wanted, what they saw in each other and how that fit into their work relationship and the rest of their lives. Harry would have to talk to Jeff, but more so as a by the way this is what I’m doing with my life, not an ask for permission. Y/N would continue as his stylist until the end of the tour cycle, but afterwards she’d go back to freelancing. They wanted to try to date and be as normal as possible. She told him how she didn’t love the fame or the celebrities. Sure she dealt with those things for work, but when they were off duty, she wanted to be regular. She wanted to go out on dates and make dinner on weekend nights. Harry had agreed, he wanted those things too and he understood her wish to keep work and their relationship separate. However, he’d made her concede to allowing kisses during work hours. She had laughed and said it was an easy term to agree to.

It was going to be a good thing. They were both giddy with excitement, the new year, and all the new things they had bought on their relationship high.

“Oh!” She pushed Harry further away from her and hurried into her room. He laughed and looked confusedly after her. “Wait there!” She called. Harry leaned against the back of her upholstered chair.

“Close your eyes!” She says before coming back into the room. Harry’s hands go over his eyes easily as he grins blindly in her direction.

“‘M waiting…”

“Open.”

Harry’s hands slip away and his green eyes blink open. In front of him stands Y/N holding up a hand knit brown sweater vest with horizontal red, cream and blue thin stripes along with the thicker brown stripes. Harry beams, reaching his hands out to take hold of it.

“It was supposed to be a surprise for later, but I found it at this vintage place while I was home and I couldn’t wait any longer to show it to you.”

“Darling, this is gorgeous. I love it! But you shouldn’t have...”

“I thought you could wear it for Lizzo’s concert. I know you said you liked the other sweater vest, but this one is so-”

“You spoil me, seriously.” He cuts her off and laughs before pulling her back into him. Their lips collide in a searing kiss, Harry’s excitement over the new garment making him eager to show her how much he really loved it.

A small sigh escapes her lips as Harry presses into her. His tongue pushing into her mouth in a way that turns the sigh into a moan.

“Let me show you just how much I love it,” He murmurs against her lips, casting the garment onto the back of the chair he had previously been leaning on.

She smiles, eyes fluttering open and meeting his with adoration swelling in their depths. Then she allows him to back their intertwined bodies into her room.

-

Some apartment in New York a few months later:

“I knew it!” 

“Huh?” Aidy lifts her head from the skit she was working on to look at her friend and coworker. 

“That stylist...for Harry Styles,” Heidi shifts, sitting up and turning her phone to face Aidy, “She was seen out with him, getting lunch in London and then making out on a street corner. I bet they were dating back in November when he was on the show!” 

Aidy laughs, thinking back to her conversation with the stylist that night of Harry’s show. The girl had been so in love that night and Harry had been smitten all week, describing her in the best way, praising her every decision, yearning for her even. And now they were actually together...she was happy for them. 

“I don’t know about that...but they were head over Gucci heels for each other that’s for sure.” 

Heidi and her scroll through the pictures on social media of the singer and his girlfriend. 

“They probably are the best dressed couple I have ever seen,” Heidi grumbles. 

“Now that is definitely accurate.”

--

taglist: @meredithhuntt​ @sovereigndeadlyperfect @marauderswhisperer​ @toribentleyva​ @girlboss99​ @harryssunflxwer​ @loverofaccents​ @stephaniemalvie​ @mk15x @beanholland​ @stfxlou​ @loliismutt​ @pinkisawesome101​ @stilljosiegrossie​ @kikisparadise18​ @clementimee​

[gyllenhaalstories]

YOU WON’T PLAY, YOU’RE NO FUN — PROF!CHRIS

summary: chris evans is your professor with whom you’ve had an affair with since the beginning of the semester. you meet with him over zoom with your fellow teammates to discuss your project, but you can’t seem to get into the right mindset. instead of providing the group with clever comments and ideas, all you do is test the limits of chris’ patience and self control.

warnings: don’t have sex with your prof please, mentions of online classes, smut including: established dom/sub relationship & teacher/student relationship (abuse of power used strictly as a joke, they are both 18+ and consensual), degradation, masturbation & mutual masturbation, edging. MINORS DON’T READ NOR INTERACT.

word count: 1500

notes: rail me daddy :) i’m a hoe for teacher/student if you can’t tell already. i do keep it vague by not mentioning any majors, don’t worry! it’s my first time writing for chris, so please, be kind!!! i hope you enjoy reading this mess!!!! ily <3

gif credits: capsgrantrogers blessing us with this low quality webcam goodness.

“Miss /Y/L/N, would you mind staying a little longer? I need to talk to you.” Chris’ voice resonated as your classmates went quiet before they waved their cameras goodbye and left the two of you alone.

Uh oh.

“Sure, what do you want to talk about?” By the time you were done with your question, you noticed that his face was frozen. “Mister Evans! Chris?! I think there’s an issue I can’t — hear you.” You sighed and rolled your eyes. You seriously needed to get that Internet connection checked. You had your hand on your laptop, ready to close it up when you heard the familiar noise of a video call, but this time it was a private conversation.

“Don’t want anybody to walk in on us, right?” Chris winked and smirked at you. You had a flashback of that one time you hooked up in his office and realized his door was left ajar when you could hear the secretary of the department arguing with the printer. You thanked your guardian angel (who must had been very disappointed) that you were just on your knees blowing him off, and that nothing too serious was going on.

You laughed, for a second you thought you were in trouble.

“What was that all about?” Chris questioned, his smirk disappeared and was replaced by a dark expression.

“I have no clue what you’re referring too.” You shrugged lightly and looked at the screen, wishing he had chosen another shirt that showcased his tattoos. You were lucky enough to see his arms from the short sleeves, you felt as aroused as royal men back in the day when they saw a woman’s ankles.

Chris clicked his tongue and shook his head. “Oh, really? There is no explanation to the attitude you’ve been giving your teammates and me all morning?”

You sighed again, loud enough for him to hear you. “They’re idiots and I’m sick of their shit. They’re not doing anything on the project yet they show off in front of you just to   —“

“Got it, they’re dumb and you’re smart.” He put the emphasis on the last few words. “Tell me, Miss, if you’re that smart, how come you’ve made the very stupid decision to be rude to me as well?”

You swallowed thickly. You were just so pissed off, exhausted from the all nighter you had to do in order to complete the requirements for today’s class. “Chris, look, you know it wasn’t about you...” You heard him cough. “I’m sorry, Sir.”

“I’d call you a good girl, but good girls don’t talk back and they certainly don’t act so bratty. What a potty mouth, you swore in front of everybody. Do I have to teach you manners too? I’m afraid that’s not listed on my tasks as your professor, too bad.”

“I said I was sorry! You know how much I hate them!”

“Do I have to give you a bad grade for not cooperating? Not everybody is as understanding as me, you need to learn that.”

He sounded so arrogant, so condescending. As much as you hated it, it turned you on. You were all squirmy on your chair, and he caught up on that.

“Tell me, what’s on your mind, princess? Why are you on the edge?”

You looked up through your lashes, letting out a complaint. That fucker. The last time you met, which was over a week ago, he had an emergency and had to leave his apartment to go on campus. How convenient, you had not finished and you were left breathless and worked up on his bed. He made you promise not to touch yourself without permission on his way out. He knew just how impatient you could get. All the needy texts you sent him while he was looking over his other classes during an exam; all the begging you did over the phone while he insisted on doing small talk.

“You won’t play with me,” you pouted at the screen. “You’re no fun.”

He chuckled, his voice sounded lower than usual while he sat up on his chair. He loved this game with you, probably as much as you did if not more.

You noticed his arm disappeared out of the frame. You’d do ten other team works with your stupid colleagues if it meant you’d be the one to take care of his hard on at that very moment.

“Oh, baby wanna have fun? Is that it? You should have told me sooner!” He cleared his throat when he heard you sigh again, giving you a warning. “Get those fingers nice and wet for me.”

You obeyed, sucking on two fingers of your dominant hand. You picked up on the back and forth movements of his arm, he was palming at his crotch. You caught a glimpse of him standing up   — he was in tight Calvin Klein boxers   —  and sitting back down, his cock freed from his clothes. “I’ve been good, Sir. So good.”

He nodded slowly, after spitting in his hand and starting to fist his cock. “Oh, really?”

You nodded frantically. “I haven’t touched myself since you left,” you pulled your hand away from your mouth, a string of saliva fell down your chin. “I’ve been so wet for you, Sir. You’re all I’ve been thinking about.”

���Then think about my fingers rubbing your clit.” He groaned, the speed of his arm motions increased.

You jerked on your chair at the contact of your fingers, your panties were soaked from your arousal. “Sir!” You moaned out when you circled faster against the bundle of nerves.

“You’re so fucked up for me, you’d rather cum on your fingers than on my face, huh?” You felt tears pooling in your eyes. “Stop touching yourself and answer me.”

You pulled your hand away, showing it to the camera so he believed you. “I want to cum so bad, Sir! Please, just once! And I’ll wait until we meet again. I need it!”

“And I need to fuck that tight little cunt of yours and you don’t hear me complainin’.” His bicep flexed in his tight shirt, his breathing got heavier. “I waited for you the entire week. I didn’t text you in the middle of the night begging like a desperate slut.” He nodded, indicating you could start rubbing again.

You moaned loudly, throwing your head back. He was edging you, again.

“Eyes on me, Baby. Need to see you.”

It took so much energy just to keep your eyes open.

“Faster.” He growled, he was so close too. You could feel it, even if he was far away.

“Sir, please!”

“Stop, stop right fucking now.” He pulled away from his swollen cock at the same time as you did. “I won’t tolerate attitude like this again, you heard me?” You nodded, mouthed a ‘yes’. “I don’t want to repeat myself. You’re such a dumb little baby sometimes, I’ll probably have to.” The more he mocked you, the more you needed to touch yourself again. “Next time you act like a bitch in my class, you’ll regret it.” You never took his threats lightly. The first, and last, time that you did, you ended up bent over his knee with the belt of his dress pants spanking your ass red like the ink from the pen he used to grade papers

“I’ll count to ten. At ten, you’ll...”

“I’ll cum!” You spoke excitedly.

“Yes, Babygirl. You’ll get to cum.” He licked his lips and stroked his beard, his hand holding his sensitive cock. “Ready?”

You replied with even more enthusiasm and he started to count up.

“Slowly, 1, 2, 3...” He swallowed thickly. “Add more pressure now, 4, 5, 6,” he tightened his grip around his cock. “Faster, 7, 8, 9...” he jerked himself up at the same speed as you. “Now, cum for me. Make a mess like you’d do on my cock. That’s right, cum for me, Princess.”

The knot in your stomach finally snapped and you released yourself on your hand. You were panting and clenching around nothing, wishing you were with Chris right now.

He growled loudly as he released himself on his hand and shirt. “Look what you did to me, Baby.” He sat up just enough to show you, causing you to laugh at the sight of his messed up top.

In exchange, you showed him your slick coated fingers before you licked them clean. Blood rushed to his cock again, but he took a deep breath to calm down. “All good now?”

“Yes! Thank you, Sir.” You smiled, content and satisfied.

He wiped his hand clean with his shirt, after he removed it and let you admire his broad chest and inked drawings. “I’m giving you extra homework.”

Your smile disappeared and you squinted, mentally preparing for more readings or an extra essay on how good he fucked you. It would be your third or fourth, you ran out of synonyms to explain that he made you feel like you were on cloud nine.

“Take a shower and a nap, I’ll get to this meeting and meet you back home, okay?”

Your face lit up again, and you clapped happily.

“See? I can be fun when I want to.”

[iwishicanbeagoodpianist]

the Wifilcon and the Winter Router

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x OC/Reader Summary: When Bucky learns that his neighbor has been stealing his wifi for months. Warnings: None A/N: I'm not a fanfic writer at all, this, like all my stories, are adaptations to fanfics. My original stories are not written in english, so this is also a translation. please do not repost my work

For an instant, Bucky thought that the knocking he was hearing was coming directly from his head, I mean, it wouldn't be the first time his mind played tricks on him, but he realized that the sound was actually coming, unluckily for him, from his apartment door. Oh no no no no no no no, I just got back from putting up with Sam for almost 6 full weeks, I don't need interaction with more people for now.

Bucky thought for a minute to ignore the sound, to wait for the person to give up and leave, anyway he didn't spend many days on this apartment, almost no one had seen him leave or enter the building and he had no contact with the neighbors, only with the lady on the 7th floor who once lost one of her cats, which ended up in Bucky's apartment, accidentally. Not that I found the cat in the alley and actually brought him to my apartment, it doesn't mean that I stole the cat, he was in the street by himself, I rescued him.

When the banging on the door stopped and Bucky thought he could breathe calmly again, a voice between altered and annoyed was heard all the way to the living room where he was sitting trying to overcome his third panic attack and fourth existential crisis of the day .

-"I know you're in there! I saw you coming in a few hours ago! I've been waiting for days for you to come back!"-

More out of instinct than anything else, Bucky pulled out the knife hidden in his right boot as he slowly backed away from the door. Do I really have a spy as a neighbor? Should I call Sam? Is he in danger too? Never mind now, you need an escape route Bucky, concentrate, third floor, window to the alley, 2 minutes max, the bike is parked far away, I'll have to run, but to where, rendezvous point, safe place, think....

- "for God's sake, open the door, I need you to pay for your fucking internet plan, I'm in the last season of my series and I need to know if Carolina died or not!"-

- "The internet?"- Between the andrenaline from escaping and the shock of not understanding what was happening Bucky spoke louder than an assassin, with over 60 years of experience, should have spoken. Oh, shoot.

-"Yes! Your wifi, I need it to finish watching my series"-

Whispering "wifi" to himself, Bucky tries to remember where he has heard that word before, this is what I get for never listening to Sam when he talks to me. But before he can continue his mental analysis of all the conversations with Sam about such stupid things as his favorite American Football team, the New Orleans Saints, that I remember, to how Antonio could possibly leave María on the last episode of the 6 o'clock telenovela of which Sam is a fan, his apparent "neighbor" spoke up again:

-"Jesus Christ, can you open the door? So we can resolve this like adults"-

Bucky resigned to the fact that he has given his position to the "enemy", walks to the door and opens it waiting for his death. Well at least if I die I won't have to listen to Sam again talking about Antonio and María. But on the other side of the door, there was a woman, who in her pajamas, very unthreatening but cute, was watching him as if he were a ghost but still with defiance in her eyes, in one breath she introduced herself and continued her speech about her complaint to Bucky:

-"As I was saying, I need you to pay for your internet"-

-"I'm sorry, but I'm not sure I understand what you mean"- mumbled Bucky.

- "Good Lord"- To Bucky's surprise his neighbor, pushes him and enters his home, well not so much a home home, more like the headquarters of his secret club, of which he is the president, vice president and only member, the point is that it is his place, where he can (and wants to be alone), as she lives here. This must be a dream, maybe I hit my head too hard in the last mission and I am unconscious in the hospital.

Crossing the room, Bucky's unwanted visitor looks around searching for something while whispering the words "I see you are quite minimalist, but maybe this is too much, someone urgently needs to look for some inspiration on Pinterest". She stops abruptly in front of the shelf where, in theory, a TV should go, while shouting: "EUREKA", she bends down and picks up a white device which has two antennas and like a million little blinking lights, damn, that looks like something out of a spaceship, I'm being watched by aliens? I'm being spied on by Kree?

-"This is your router, this is where the internet signal comes from, which I need you to pay for so I can finish watching my series"-.

Bucky, still in shock for the third time in less than 15 minutes, as he processes the idea that perhaps Thanos' unknowing twin is spying on him for a second invasion of earth and revenge for his brother's death. He can only nod to his now more relaxed and happy neighbor.

-"Perfect, thanks! I need to check the food I left in the oven, I'll talk to you later"- and as quickly as she came she left through the same door, leaving Bucky with more doubts than answers, peeking down the hallway, he realizes that she is the neighbor who lives next door, to his right. When Bucky comes out of his initial stupor, still not fully understanding what is going on, he decides to take his cell phone out of his pocket and call his own personal Google to solve his doubts about this century: Sam Wilson.

-"Hey Buck! What's up?"-how does he always manage to sound so happy? focus Buck.

-"What the hell is a router and why do I have one in my house?"- somehow Bucky manages to formulate, although maybe his voice cracked a little on the last words.

-"That thing's been there for at least two months and you didn't even notice it? Have you even paid the bill?"-

-"You put this in here? Without telling me????"- maybe Sam is also a Kree? Who can I trust now? It's all a trap?

Listening to Bucky's accelerated breathing, Sam tries to explain to him slowly, that in this century life without internet is not life, but obviously as Bucky does not even know how to set the alarm on his own cell phone, he was in charge of buying the router and creating the contract with the company so that, the 106 year old man could have his personal network at home. He had given it the name but he had not given it a password so that Bucky himself could set it up later. "I am an excellent friend, I mean co-worker, if I may say so"

-"Sorry man, after all that happened, we got called for a mission and I forgot to tell you, do you have your laptop over there? I'll help you set up a password, so your neighbors won't steal your internet anymore"- and with that comment everything started to make sense in Bucky's slightly screwed up but functional mind about the events with his seemingly non-spy and harmless neighbor.

Meanwhile Bucky was trying to remember his own password to unlock the laptop in front of him, also courtesy of Sam. "Bucky, when you learn about online banking and that you can pay your rent, electricity, phone and everything with a click of your computer, you will thank me". It should be noted that Bucky hasn't used that laptop once, like a good 100 year old grandpa he goes to the bank to make his deposits and pay his debts, which obviously consisted only of electricity, water, gas and phone because the man had no idea that there was a device in his house that spit out internet, apparently only his next door neighbor knew this. Buck tells Sam how he thought his router was an alien device and how he thought his neighbor was a KGB agent coming to kill him. "Relax Buck we all have undesirable neighbors that steal our internet signal sometimes", well undesirable is not the word I would use to describe her but ok.

When Sam finally explains to him how to connect his computer to the internet, Bucky can finally see the name that his wonderful co-worker, not friend, because he could never be friends with someone so stupid as to think that the name "THE WIFILCON AND THE WINTER ROUTER" was a good name.

- "my god Sam, you're such an asshole!"-

-"HEY! That's a great name!"- Sam responds with as much indignation as possible, he's the best at naming everything from dogs to wifis.

- "I can't believe you're Captain America, I can't believe we're even friends"- Bucky really can't understand his luck to have friends, well, co-workers whatever.

- "Well excuse me but we're co-workers..."-

- "Well, take this call as my formal resignation, bye"-

-"Wait a minute Buck..."- Bucky ended the call, to finish -his self-imposed- punishment of listening to Sam Wilson talk for over an hour. At least I asked him how to use the bank's website to pay for the internet. Suddenly, without warning and without explanation, the memory of his neighbor is lodged in his head, her hair in a ponytail, her reading glasses, pink shorts, her sweater from some university of which he can't even remember the name because he was watching out for other things... that she wouldn't kill me obviously, he was watching out that she wouldn't pull a knife out of her back and kill me right there. The message on his laptop indicating that he can now set a new name and password to his wifi distracts him enough to stop thinking about his sweet and cute non-spy neighbor and how she would look with her hair down and her glasses off.

Still with the sweet feeling in his chest and the desire to see her again he writes as the new name of the wifi, while laughing:

"If you want free internet, you owe me at least one free dinner"

After paying the internet debt and closing the laptop, Bucky gets up hoping to find something edible in the kitchen, while leaning over to look inside his fridge and analyzing how bad it would be to eat a fried egg with pasta and sriracha, he hears again a knock on the door, but this time it does not cause Bucky the anguish and anxiety that caused him the first time, but quite the opposite.

-"Open the door Winter Router! I prepared chicken pot pie for dinner"-.