#i had thoughts

[chimneyz]

you know how sometimes large dogs don't realize how big they are when they sit them selves on top of you and smother you? tommy gives those vibes a bit. he will sit right on top of buck to cuddle with him not realizing that even though buck is large, tommy is still a little larger. he places his whole weight onto buck, and buck one hundred percent loves it.

[elysianholly]

A Spuffy Fan's Perspective on the Reboot

So, as most Buffy fandom knows (unless they’ve been living under a rock in a crater on the Hellmouth), it was announced yesterday that SMG is involved in a Buffy reboot sequel series, one in which she will be a recurring but not central character.

As a lifelong Buffy fan, I’m expected to be overjoyed at this news, and I’m, well, not. Nor are a good number of people deeply entrenched in fandom. I’m super happy for the people who are excited. As a Spuffy fan, though, it’s hard to be jazzed for a number of reasons, among these being that SMG is most definitely a Bangel shipper, and despite being overwhelmingly more popular than Bangel in current times, Spuffy is often overlooked in a lot of key areas of the “official” Buffy promotions, the comics being a notable and welcome exception.

One thing I’ve noticed is a lot of people in Spuffy fandom are more than just “not normal” about Spuffy. I’ve struggled for 20+ years to both identify and articulate why the ship resonates with me so much to the point that news like this can make my anxiety spiral. I understand it’s not an ideal reaction media, but I have lived inside a neurodivergent brain my entire life and that ain’t about to change. And I’m not the only one—I’ve met and interacted with many, many people who feel as intensely as I do and also struggle to articulate why news like this distresses them.

So for everyone who is like me, slightly more than just “not normal” about Spuffy (or any aspect of Buffy!) and distressed about the news, here are some things I keep reminding myself.

Buffy is an Established Multi-Universe Property

We know that there are multiple universes in Buffy; it’s explored in The Wish and then confirmed by Anya later in the series. Not just multiple dimensions, but divergent/adjacent worlds to the one we saw in the show. This has been later explored in the comics, such as The Lost Summer, the Boom reboot, and The Last Vampire Slayer, never mind the plethora of authorized novels and the recent audio play. These were all officially sanctioned, licensed productions that exist outside the official canon.

All of these stories matter, regardless of whether or not they’re considered “official.” For my Spuffy people, some are Spuffy friendly and some are not. We acknowledge what we want to acknowledge and leave the rest behind. Me? If I find the sequel reboot upsetting, I’ll mentally shove it into one of those other worlds, the same as I’ve done with the comics for years (yes, even if they got Spuffy friendly).

One of the points that was brought up yesterday when I suggested just giving the sequel reboot the comics treatment was it’s harder to ignore if SMG is involved. And I get that; I felt the same way about the Slayers audioplay, because significant OG cast members were involved so it felt more official. But upon reflection, I do still think it’s the same as the comics, which were spearheaded and overseen by JW and still considered (until this sequel reboot happens) the official post-series canon. If the involvement of original artists is what makes or breaks something’s authority, then the medium shouldn’t really matter.

And on that note…

Star Wars Legends, Halloween, Terminator, & Other Reboots

For years—decades—following Return of the Jedi, the official Star Wars canon was continued in novels, the same as Buffy was. There was a rich tapestry of intergalactic politics, Leia and Han’s Force family, Luke and Mara Jade, and characters like Grand Admiral Thrawn that proved so popular he’s been recanonized.

These books existed and still exist. The new movies, the reset of canon, all things involving Rey Palpatine Skywalker and Kylo Ben Ren exist alongside established, official property. I know plenty of people who were upset that their investment in the extended Star Wars family was essentially nixed with the sequel series 10 years ago, and others who chose not to acknowledge the sequel series but maintain their post-Jedi canon.

In an era of reboots and sequel series, canon can become a bit diluted. You can’t just erase everything that came before you decided to hit the “start over” button. The recent Halloween trilogy flat-out ignored multiple movies to tell the story it wanted to tell. Terminator has done the same thing, multiple times, with the Sarah Connor Chronicles being officially licensed and more or less officially scrapped, and the last Terminator movie retconning like, what, four or five that came out after Judgment Day. That is to say, established canon doesn’t really matter in this era, because the people making these decisions are doing what fan artists have done for decades; keeping what they want, tossing all else aside, and focusing on the story they want to tell.

If what came before and what has been long established doesn’t matter (and I actually do love this; it opens up worlds and essentially gives us licensed what-if fics), then canon itself is kind of nebulous. It doesn’t matter what is or isn’t established, because established canon is a moving target, subject to personal interpretation. Don’t like the Halloween reboot? Ignore it. There are other movies out there. Don’t like the clusterfuck Disney has made of Star Wars? There is a fully developed alternative. Don’t like any of the options? Come up with your own. Comics do it all the time with superhero stories, and Buffy is nothing if not a superhero.

It’s All Fiction

This is what drives my husband crazy when I try to explain my beyond not normal feelings about Spuffy. It’s all fiction. We’re not talking about historical events here. All fiction lives in exactly one place, ultimately, and that’s between your ears. If you don’t like the way a fictional story went, you can do what fanartists have been doing for years and create your own fix-it. Or find a ready-made fix-it; I promise it exists. And the more I think about it, the less stock I put into “official” stories that are told primarily to make money. The people who are here telling these stories because they love the characters and know the characters on levels that frankly outperform most licensed stuff.

In Summary

So I’ve rambled a lot, but here are the key points to take away:

Buffy is canonically a multi-universe property so the world we’re shown by official licensed sources see isn’t the only one that exists. I didn’t say this in the section, but in this way, all fanfic is canon, because each exists in a different universe

If canon is not sacred in the world of reboots, then what they try to sell us as canon is debatable, negligible, and ultimately fine to just not acknowledge

Official canon doesn’t really matter all that much when you can pick your own, which you can and should

I hope this helps my fellow Spuffys and anyone else who is struggling with the news. My siblings in beyond just not normal. Your feelings, even if you have trouble explaining or understanding them, are valid. You’re not silly. It’s never silly to be upset about news that impacts something important to you. And there’s still so much we don’t know, so speculation abounds, but whatever comes of this, I hope you find some comfort in the freedom of being able to do exactly what the for-profit storytellers do all the time and just fucking ignore what doesn’t suit them.

In the meantime, Elysian Fields Archive will remain a Spuffy exclusive safe space, and I imagine will be home to a shitload of fix-its if the pilot gets picked up, so you’re free to join us there.

Until then, be good to yourself, and to somebody else.

[starathsbunker]

For those who don't know, I am an adult with cerebral palsy. It's a condition I was born with, and although I was treated for it until age 10, my CP was then ignored thereafter. I didn't even know I had cerebral palsy until I figured it out for myself in a Special Education class at age 24, because my parents never told me what my disability was. Once I was properly rediagnosed, I sought out treatment for my mobility and pain issues, and found out something deeply concerning.

The medical community does not know what to do with adults with cerebral palsy. In fact, the definition of cerebral palsy didn't mention it can occur in adults until late last year.

The majority of studies, treatment and resources go to children, which is fine, but no one seems to care that children with cerebral palsy grow up to be adults with cerebral palsy. Once you've aged out of pediatric care, it's pretty much "Good luck!" and any medical support you have drops like falling off a cliff.

I found an article recently entitled "Adults with cerebral palsy fear aging in an ignorant world", which you can read here.

The article talks about what I have experienced in my life. Despite CP being a known condition, adults with CP struggle to get treatment for the pain, mobility issues, and most terrifying, the loss of physical ability that comes with getting older. Finding a medical professional who specializes in CP is hard enough, but knowing how to take care of it? How the decline progresses? How to make it better for the people who have it? Almost nobody knows.

Most of this falls on the medical community for not committing resources into studying it in adults. This article states that according to a study done by The National Library of Medicine, 4% of funds allocated to studying cerebral palsy goes to examining it in adults. Four percent. I suppose I should be grateful for that much.

To be fair, cerebral palsy is more like a spectrum condition instead of an all-encompassing malady that can be explained in simple terms. It affects everyone differently, depending on location (one limb, one side, two limbs or all sides/limbs), brain damage that causes it (which can cause speech, swallowing and cognitive issues), severity (functionally independent to fully in wheelchair), muscular issues (too tight or too loose), pain severity, and balance issues.

“It (CP) is never the same disorder twice. If you have seen one individual with cerebral palsy, you have simply seen just one individual with cerebral palsy.” -- Dr. Michael Shevell

I was struck by the article above because I read that other adults with CP, some much older than me, are worried about the same thing I am: How to treat the damage CP does to the body that makes us age faster than an able-bodied person. It's kind of comforting that I'm not alone in this, I thought, but then, Oh God, other people like me are worried about it.... are they getting any help? IS there any help?

The answer is "kind of." Physical therapy, exercise, and other tactics can be used to maintain strength, mobility, and balance to a certain degree. But once you are old enough, once the degrading starts, there seems to be very little anyone can do.

And that makes me angry. It was bad enough that my disability was ignored by my parents as a child. By doing so they set me up for failure as an adult, because I didn't know how to work within the limitations of my disability. I was taught to be an able-bodied person, and so I lived that way until my body gave out on me and now I can't work. I go to doctor's appointments and therapy sessions instead. I live in poverty, dependent on the food shelf and state assistance because my Social Security Disability doesn't pay me enough to live on. I survive. That's it.

Now, as an adult, I work hard to maintain my independence and mobility. I am terrified of losing either. I go to physical therapy every other week, do exercises daily, and walk as much as I can. I am fortunate that I have medical professionals in my area who know how to treat the symptoms of my CP, even if they are not fully educated on the condition itself as experts.

But my future of physical health is largely unclear. I will do what I can, as long as I can, until the CP catches up with me. It already did that once in 2019, when I had to stop working because I was unable to get out of bed. When will that happen again? Will I have to stop walking? Will my good knee give out? Will my bad hip stop supporting me? Will I fall and injure my good hand, and become unable to feed myself? Will I have to use a cane, then a walker, then a wheelchair, before I'm 50?

This is why studying cerebral palsy in adults is necessary. I am known for my anxiety, but I know I am not the only one with CP who wonders about this. The CP communities I am a part of know more about the condition than the medical professionals do sometimes, and we educate each other. It shouldn't have to be that way. No one should have to wonder about these things and how their condition will worsen in the future. Things are getting better but... for now, I'm scared.

That is what it is like to be an adult with cerebral palsy in today’s world.

[elrielffs]

Elriel in all the major articles.

"They just want to get views!" "We stalked the writers and they are nobodies so we can't take this seriously!"

Never mind that they like to tout that GA/EL are far more popular but if they wanted views they would write all ships to appeal to everyone or even just write about the ship war. Also they are quick to prop up the 1 or 2 Screen Rant articles that came out.

Elriel mentioned by major brands.

"Our ship gets mentioned too!" Doesn't provide screenshots.

SJM talks about rejected mates and poor mate couples on Today show.

"She means HOAxBeronxHelion!"

SJM posting Guilty as Sin, the most heavily coded Elriel song when she could have posted any other.

"It doesn't mean anything!" They try desperately to twist it for their ship and claim it.

And yah yah, "it's just a song!" but given how little SJM posts to her instagram, how she knows people watch and dissect anything she does like a hawk, how she could of chosen ANY song from the new album (cause let's be real, Guilty as Sin does not relate to her happily married self personally) but chose a heavily coded Elriel song...

SJM Bloomsbury provide the Feysand bonus chapter in the Night Court exclusive editions and not the Azriel BC.

"It's cause they don't own the rights! That's all!" If they wanted to, they would.

Idk man, if my ship was excluded from all these major and far reaching publicities and I kept having to make excuses of why it isn't included in anything significant, I would read the writing on the wall.

And no, these aren't confirmation but it IS very telling and I'll never be convinced that in the major instances (Time, Today show, E!, Spotify that worked WITH SJM) isn't handled by PR/Marketing with Bloomsbury/SJM.

[zephyrus-00]

When Icarus gets back from being quixis, them Caspian and ocie would probably talk. They're the only ones who remember ven after all..

especially ic and ocie because they've both had like more of a relationship with ven, ocie and ven were friends in s2.

so ic and ocie are really the only ones who really remember ven not just like cas and momboo know that ven existed but not a lot about who he actually was.

[qaze]

This is solely me being funky with thoughts abt Romeo’s anatomy but I imagine that her arms (when retracted) form like— a mini ribcage if that makes sense? Like their arms make some strange ribcage thing underneath the lower half of her normal ribs. bc. Why not

[shitty-mh-aus]

marble hornets but its the omega verse.

.

[captaincrusher]

Enterprise is battling with such a duality. In season 3 Archer constantly tells us he is a good man with principles, battling with moral dilemmas but ultimately coming out reaffirming his humanity. Yet his actions so often tells a completely different story.

The idea of what Archer was supposed to be lingers. If Enterprise hadn't been derailed by a national trauma causing a frantic need for culture to produce justifications for torture and revenge crusades. Then Archer might have been what they set out to create - an almost mythic hero of exploration who's adherent to his principles in the face of the unforgiving wild west of space, lay the groundwork for the Federation itself.

We see him go through all of these traumatic experiences where he makes inhumane and life altering choices, yet we don't see the reality of this truly change him or the perception of him in others.

From the perspective of a cohesive story, this makes very little sense. They aren't exploring the lasting effect on Archer's character of his actions.

Ultimately, maybe that is the point? Because part of that frantic need to justify men acting like Archer is to act like it doesn't impact like you. Like you could do all that and walk away.

So the duality becomes a vehicle to tell a story about an impossible man. The hero that makes immoral choices for the sake of whatever cause he himself deems worthy and still sleeps well at night. He can be a hero to his people, a founder of a new era for humanity, and we remember him fondly. We want to believe there's no consequences, no anxiety, no nightmares. That if someone tells us he is a good man, he is one too.

I'm not sure that is the story the Enterprise writers intended to tell, but it's the story they ended up showing.

[fedoraqueen]

We may be sleeping on gun Megatron.

HEAR ME OUT i know it’s unpopular, man guns are so boring, his tank/jet/spaceship designs are so much cooler.

When they run out of the cave everyone is a car but D-16 who just slides along the metal immobile, goofy right? Until Orion picks him up and then they’re a dream team taking out Sentinels lackeys.

D-16 transforms back and he’s both hyped and Angry, he could have been anything but he’s a gun? Can’t move fast, can’t roll, can’t fly?! He might as well have stayed cogless!

While captured with B, sentinel forces him to transform after branding him, shoots a few members of the high guard, goes to shoot B, cue Orion.

Then we get to the battle, sentinel gets the upper hand just for a moment, using D-16 he shoots orion. D-16 fights him off (something something it’s Orions fault that they were in that situation)

And the rest of the movie plays out the same way only Megs is super bitter has a “ primus hates me” mentality and trusts no one refuses to be used.

[calamitoustide]

moonchaser as lorelai and max from gilmore girls let me explain!

james and remus meeting and falling in love after james has already had harry. they're careful about not wanting harry to get too attached, but they get to the point where they're together all the time and harry and remus meet and get attached and quickly. remus proposing and it's all going great until a few days before the wedding when james realizes it's not what he wants.

i'm just thinking about harry seeing remus after and telling him "i really wanted you to be my stepfather," and remus saying, "I really wanted to be your step father" back

[loulougoingsolo]

"Just yourself be, if weird is you."

I don't often get annoyed by Rhett or Link, and it is probably a strong word to use even now, but...today's Ear biscuits episode kinda made me growl at Rhett a little.

I'm not going to talk about the entire episode, but the guys were answering listener questions, and the last one was about midlife crises, if they have them and how.

Now, as someone who is less than a year younger than Link, I've probably tackled a crisis of my own in the recent times. (You could say my entire adult life has been a crisis, but I won't.) But I loved Link's explanation of his midlife crisis, which was basically finding the limits of how weird he can be without making Christy scratch her head too much. Like, Link basically said he is still exploring what he is and what he wants to be (and I'm not implying he was talking about his sexual identity - I think he meant he is exploring his identity in a broader context of being human). Rhett took this as an opportunity to remind Link that when someone chooses to be "weird", they need to understand that it might impact their relationships. And at that point, I growled.

I'm a weirdo. I spent way too many years of my life trying not to be weird. The funny (not really) thing was, trying to act normal only made me sick, made me behave in a very unnatural, stiff way around other people, and I was miserable. I dare to say, nowadays, after, thanks to a lot of soul-searching, therapy and embracing my true self, I come across much more likable than before. I'm not tense, I don't need to put on a mask, and I am more comfortable with myself, which just makes me more fun to be with. Syre, there are people who think I'm too weird, don't act my age, or make strange stylistic choices. The people I love accept me as I am, and I may have infected them with dashes of self-acceptance, too. So, grrr at you, Rhett.

Seriously though, I love that Link is less tense these days. I know some people are annoyed by him, but I love how he has blossomed from an antsy guy who stuck to wearing t-shirts and jeans to an actual fashion icon. He's less afraid of showing his emotions these days (good and bad), and he's just overall more at ease. I'd hate for his loved ones to try to tame him too much, and I hated the way Rhett managed to make his advice sound like a threat that if Link gets too weird, he'll lose some of his relationships.

Maybe I heard more than was said. Maybe this rubbed me the wrong way, because I see myself in Link more than I do in Rhett, and I recognize the things Link said in myself. I hope to hear other people's thoughts on this episode, and this answer about midlife crisis in particular.

Also, for anyone planning to go hiking with a cat: I love the idea, and if I see you with your cats on the trails I take, I want to be your friend. I have been known to lightly stalk a lady who was in the library with her cat on her shoulders, just so I could coo at the furbaby.

[just1sokk]

Stop starin’ at me with those big ole’ eyes /ref

[kalied0skull]

Soda x dally?

DALLYPOP AAWGHH.

inboxing still btw ... BUT !

dallypop is fun only in concept unfortunately. in terms of canon universe, i really don't think they'd have much of any chemistry, let alone much of a romance unless sandy was out of the picture entirely

i do REALLY admire them though, having said that — but like i said, more in concept less in actual theory

dallas and soda are flame to flame, they're drunk on alcohol & drunk on life. they're the loudest voices in the room, they're cowboy boots and dirty hands getting sticky residue everywhere.

they're BOYS. they share that same love for a rodeo, they sit in the back of beaten up trucks and listen to loud music. they throw shit out the windows, they love hard, they entertwine roughly and never let go of each other because that buzz of eternal LIGHT keeps them flowing together.

when i think of dallypop, i quite literally think of a fire and lightning. they're fast moving, they share the same energy, they're just a bit TOO similar in terms of hype. they fight, they cuss, they pull at each other's hair and kick like dogs. they're two unleashed dogs on the streets.

when they're low and quiet, they're both giggly. they're both staring at each other with stupid grins as their blonde hair connect and mix white with honey yellow as they cling to each other. they can't SEPARATE. they can't be anything below a whisper because the energy that glitters around them is always too much to handle.

soda sees dallas and he sees a fighting spirit, he sees a guy who spits at the ground to show he wants a fight and smokes cigarettes and cusses hard. he sees a daring boy with a heater in the back of his pants hidden under his leather jacket, he sees the rings on his fingers and the way they flash everytime he throws a punch. he sees a light he wants to chase.

dallas sees soda and he sees something he wants — happiness without the drugs. he sees a busy bee who's jumping around one crowd to the next, he sees a charming grin with a mischievous twinge to it because he knows soda's got a trick under his sleeve, he sees that happy curtis brother who's beautiful and damning who's got a cut to him that makes him painfully curious about what's behind that mask of a model-perfect smile.

they're dirt under nails and blood leaking from busted noses, they're messy and loud and obnoxious and full of the energy of a thousand suns and someone PLEAAAASE SEPARATE THEM BEFORE THEY GO OFF ROBBING ANOTHER MAN OF HIS ENTIRE CAR !!!

they're troublemakers, your honor. partners in crime. :D

[yameoto]

'blondebrunette pinkblue meangirlloser repressedlesbian annoyingbisexual' i know you meant faberry but why is this literally amberprice hello

- 🍃

brief faberry/amberpricefield comparison incoming. like woah . thank u 🍃 i drew childish delight outta this

personally! i think faberry and amberprice’s essences are wildly different. meangirloser? but even if chloe is definitely a loser, rachel isn’t mean. she’s adored because she’s so extroverted, and chloe is far more of a bitch. pinkblue? superficial but pinkblue n bluered are not the same spiritually.. especially bc pricefield is pinkblue and amberprice is bluered. if you know you know. besides, repressedlesbian (quinn) and annoyingbisexual (berry) would have to be flipped to annoyinglesbian (chloe) repressedbisexual (amber). but even then i’d argue rachel isn’t even repressed at all. she has no qualms with chloe being a girl. in fact. she flirts first! iniates first! and more often! she just knows what game she’s playing.

rachel amber is inherently much more similar to rachel berry, in fact! (aside from their shared names). theatre obsessed.. ambitious.. stellar grades.. desperate to claw out of their small town.. willing to manipulate! and be selfish! to get their way! their difference is only that amber is a social butterfly n berry is socially illiterate. but even then. chloe price Is Not quinn fabray. maybe she shares quinn’s (initial) lack of ambition and self-loathing but those are base traits really.

however you could totally argue s3 faberry are somewhat amberprice coded. skank!quinn (chloe) and rachel (rachel), because THEN quinn essentialises chloe’s self-loathing to subsequent self-destructiveness. she’s also a certifiable burnout at that stage. rebellious. angry. hopeless and lashing out. + likening rachel to rachel and quinn to chloe makes more sense dynamic-wise since chloe clearly cares for rachel more than rachel cares for her, and faberry is the same in the sense literally all their proof comes from quinn’s side. but even then.. stretching to maximum of my capabilities.

this is so long but i was having fun. don’t ask me about lesbians i Will talk your ear off.

[zephyrus-00]

sometimes Icarus will see someone out of the corner of their eye. they know that they're alone, theres no one else in the worldport. but they still have to do a double take because they know they saw someone.

usually its Rae or Centross, on bad days its Fable. sometimes other people, but those are the main ones.

sometimes they pretend that its real, lie to themself and pretend that they aren't alone.

[thatwasthenightthingschanged]

when ttpd, especially the anthology came out, I could barely listen to it but this evening I finally did after ages (I legitimately think the last time I listened to the anthology in full was the day the album dropped) and realized that I couldn't listen to it because the hurt that Taylor expresses especially on the anthology is so deep and cutting and searing and I didn't want to admit to myself that I knew that hurt too well, that I experienced the exact same pain at the end of 2023, like, I couldn't admit to myself that I was really fucking hurt because I felt like I wasn't allowed to or that would make me look like a loser because the other party seemed fine but now that it's been over one year since I've felt those emotions and listen to these songs now it feels like such a sigh of relief to be like. yeah I relate to everything and yeah I was fucking hurt and yes I did and do deserve to feel that unconcerned of who was right or wrong and idk. I just love that Taylor's music is such a vessel for me at least to be like. hey you hurt and you deserve to express it, you do not need to justify it rationally to anyone