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#i had to make my own image for this
puppyeared · 1 month
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id fumble him so bad
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luminarai · 4 months
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you’re on your own kid / yeah you can face this
I started this Parse comic almost a year ago (!) but I’ve only just managed to put it together now. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings about Kent and how he mostly exists in bits and pieces as seen through the eyes of other characters.
There’s just something about being haunted and defined by your past (mistakes) but also finding strength on your own. (And how there can still a hopeful ending despite it all.)
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uncanny-tranny · 2 months
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Passing as a trans man is a nuanced and complex topic, but one thing I have been noticing as somebody who is a cis-passing (white) trans man is the way I'm treated when there is conflict.
I've noticed that in conflict, people are almost meek around me, willing for me to try working with them up until a woman is involved. When a woman (or, really, anybody who the other party assumes is one) is part of the conflict, they direct all their anger and rage to them. It's fucking insane the way a woman is treated when there is conflict, even if it isn't her fucking fault. These people are fundamental cowards for seeing my manhood as the only reason they can't be openly hostile to me, but it reveals a lot about how a misogynist thinks on an almost primal level.
I'm watching the women and people around me I care about being torn apart by people, and that's unacceptable. I can't sit around to watch it, and I don't want to do that. I need other people to perhaps read this and remember to not stand by if there is something that you can tangibly do to help, even if it's to lend a listening ear or let the person vent.
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sacchiri · 27 days
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Hellsing 2002 calendar illustration.
Ein wunderliche und erschröckliche Hystori von einem großen Wüttrich genant Dracole wayda Der do so ganz unkristenliche marrter hat angelegt die mensche, als mit spissen als auch die leut zu Tod geslyffen
A wondrous and frightening story about a great berserk called Dracula the voivode who inflicted such unchristian tortures such as with stakes and also dragged people to death
#hellsing#alucard#kouta hirano#translation was found in a comment by u/lazyfoxheart on r/Kurrent#fun fact this is the highest quality version of this image that exists online#i know because i've been looking forever for a version that's clear enough to actually read what hirano wrote under '1443'#but there weren't any so i had to take matters into my own hands#the real image on the back of the guidebook is only 2 inches tall so i had to take this with my smartphone and will my hands not to shake#anyway i'm pretty sure it's supposed to say Eğrigöz (the location vlad was imprisoned) so yeah. thank you hirano very cool#if i might rant for a sec it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure that out because i didn't have the guidebook at first#and in the images i could find online that part was just a blur that looked suspiciously like a person's signature and i was like. who tf#i was thinking matthias corvinus since he issued some political propaganda against vlad iirc but it didn't match his signature on wikipedia#then i thought it might be vlad II dracul's since he probably had to sign an agreement to send his sons over as hostages at some point#but that didnt seem right either so i kept skimming vlad's wiki page#and then i was like goddammit...hirano.....you just misspelled Eğrigöz didn't you.. ....#i maybe should've made a separate post dedicated to this instead of writing a novel in the tags but eh#the hellsing brainrot runs deep#also- i put it in the source link at the bottom of the post but the german inscription is copied off a real woodcut of vlad from 1491#except instead of depicting him as an adult hirano drew him as a child which gives the inscription a very different feel imo#the one final thing that interests me about this is the fact that hirano published this calendar in 2002#which is REALLY early in the series. like this was before volume 5 came out??#i have no idea why he decided to do a massive spoiler drop in a random piece of japan-only merch#sandwiched between a drawing of alucard as john travolta from saturday night fever and integra as a fish no less#it makes me really curious to know what the fan response to this was back then. like did people even know who this was#maybe im just an idiot and everyone back then was like 'ah yes its alucard as a 12 year old. how very informative'
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isaac (ikevamp) meeting liam (ikevil)
- c. 2024 [colorized]
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pnutsdotorg · 7 months
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put him in a shirt. put him in a skirt
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yardsards · 11 months
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mostly joking toh theory: amity and emira are both trans girls, and the fact that they got to choose their names themselves is the only reason why neither of them ended up getting named "odalia jr."
#eliot posts#toh#the owl house#amity blight#emira blight#odalia just strikes me as the type of person to name a daughter after herself#i have a couple relatives who named their kids after themselves and it's always seemed so fucking weird to me???#like i cannot imagine being like. hi i'm eliot and this is my son eliot.#honestly thinking about it there's a good chance my dad would've tried to name me after himself if i were amab#my mother wanted to name me axl but i think my dad could've won her over#and either named me after himself#(either his legal name or his nickname‚ which was after an uncle of his bc he was apparently the spitting image of)#or named me after his own father. which would make me the third of my cousin group to bear that name#(though ironically only one of said cousins was named after our grandpa. the other was named after his dad who married in to the family)#also apparently even as an afab baby i was apparently the spitting image of one of those cousins#to the point where my mother told me her first thought upon seeing me after i was born was just ''oh god she looks just like [cousin]''#for an extra layer of Bullshit: vincent cat's name at the shelter was the same as my dad's nickname so i had to change it#bc having a cat with sorta the same name as my dad whom i have a Complicated and Bad relationship with would feel Weird#this is all irrelevant but i just need you to know how batshit the name situation on my dad's side of the family is#my mother's side is mostly uncomplicated except for the surname situation going on#like i have no clue who my mother's maiden name came from and at this point i'm too afraid to ask#but yea since i was afab my given first name was just a random name that my mother thought was pretty#my given middle name tho WAS after a family member#specifically my rich childless aunt on my dad's side#the original plan was just a second random name my mother liked but then i popped out prematurely on that aunt's birthday#so my dad's OTHER sister (who had barged in uninvited to the delivery room) told my mother#''hey it's [childless aunt's] birthday today. she's rich and has no kids. name your child after her and she might help pay for college''#but my chosen name and middle name are unrelated to anyone. just two names i really liked and thought fit me + my gender.
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spearxwind · 8 months
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Something I've been thinking a lot recently after becoming a lot more social and going out is like. How different people really LOOK in general. Or rather, I've always seen it but I've been noticing it more. Different body types, different faces, different features.... etc. Everyone is so different looking.
There isn't a way you could possibly gauge how "beautiful" someone is because everyone is so different, and everyone's perception and preferences are different. Someone who you could consider extremely handsome could have deep seated self image issues, and someone who looks unremarkable to you might be someone's ideal.
I feel like being online and constantly exposed to the same types of faces, especially the type of people who become popular online due to the appearance, they always have the same set of features, same set of body types. It's not inherently bad, people do gravitate towards them because there's beauty standards that certain people fit. But in general exposure to people who look all similar rots the brain. It rots your self image. It distances you from your own community as well.
It bleeds into how people handle their relationships, it brings prejudice to people just based on their appearance, and it sucks so much to actually like, fully consciously REALIZE. Everyone is worthy of love, no matter how they look like (this includes you btw!! Yeah you!!! <3) no matter what the media says. It sounds like something sooo obvious but it really is something that grows roots in your brain given the chance and is hard to pull out.
Feeling like you're in an arms race against your peers to "score" someone who you could pass for an instagram model, instead of finding someone who you truly connect with. Having to deeply justify your partners and friendships to your family as being worth it, when they don't look like celebrities on TV and just look like regular people. (This has been my personal experience for a long time, but I feel like theres probably more people who have gone through the same)
"What will other people think? What will my family think?" is something constantly on my mind whenever I make any friends, and im only recently realizing that it really does not matter what they do think what matters is one's own happiness.
Not sure where I am going with this post I just wanted to write it out for a few days now and I finally did it <3 have a swag day
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ink-the-artist · 6 months
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i’m afraid there can only be one colored pencil artist on tumblr at a time. we’ll have to take away your credentials.
i think its the fucked up creature art ppl are upset about, ive gotten that reaction on some pantyhose sculptures I did that were inspired by completely different artists lol
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casdeans-pie · 9 months
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Dean, whispering to the Angel in bed beside him who literally cannot sleep: Cas. You awake?
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I was just thinking what a cool job this might be.. what if you were just the person who makes little still images of cute animal figurines doing various activities to post on social media...? like.. show up to work and just spend the whole day like "hmm... this table should be placed to the left a little.. let me set this miniature bagel down in this way... this tiny rabbit should be wearing a scarf", setting the backgrounds, the lighting, etc. ... dream job perhaps lol...
#I'm sure it probably doesnt pay much lol#but.. maybe in some ideal world..#with my health and mental conditions and level of functioning there are VERY few Jobs I could actually EVER manage aside from#just being self employed and being able to set my own hours somehow etc... But every once in a while I come across something like this#and it's like... hrmm.... Yes... perhaps if I could align myself in this hyper specific scenario under hyper specific conditions in a#precise and predictable way and everything worked out perfectly and I had all the accomodations I might need.. maybe I could#do THAT thing then .. lol#Not just generally a 'social media manager' or something. I think that would drive me into the throes of madness#but SPECIFICALLY 'person who makes the images for the calico critters social media' and also#the place i have to go to do that is either my home or within walking distance of my home and also i rarely have to interact#with others aside from the posts probably going through some approval process and initial ideas where they tell me what#type of scene to make and also i somehow make $90.000 a year doing this for only 4 days a week with frequent sick breaks#dreamy sigh and so on and so forth and such and so on#ANYWAY........#the idea of meticulously placing little pastries and miniature crayons and stuff around all day until the scene is perfectly crafted.. SO#SO so appealing to me... like designing environments in the sims except it's real and tangible.. And also imagine having access#to the FULL library of miniature items. to me that would be just as good as owning them#Like.. I get to use them and make little scenes with them and hold them and stare at them and everything except also#they're all kept at work so I don't have boxes of clutter filling home.#unlimited access to every little miniature food ever crafted yet none of the downsides (purchase cost and storage)#etc. etc. ANYWAY ...#Chuckling confidently as I add this onto the 'List Of ''Real'' Jobs I Could Do' which is just a notebook sheet of paper with only like 5#other similarly unlikely hyperspecific scenarios scribbled down
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puppyeared · 4 months
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i feel like. theres designing a character with certain themes and motifs in mind, and then theres making a gijinka for the water bottle on my nightstand
#me when im the only person on the bus wearing a mask: i should make a furry plaguesona#its hard to explain bc. most of the time i try NOT to give my characters a 'strong' theme like making their whole design around#one thing like apples or even broad stuff like baking or cottagecore.. idk if its partly for flexibility or because i cant imagine them#making it their whole personality. not bc i find it cringe or overblown but more like ive learned to associate design with character depth#i had a cutesy uwu persona for most of highschool because i thought it would make me more. likeable? easy to remember? since#memorable character designs are easy to recognize. and one way of doing that is simplifying it with a theme or symbol so you form an#association. but since im a real person its exhausting keeping up that appearance all the time and denying myself things when they dont#fit my 'aesthetic' or 'theme.' i think ive grown past that bc i just collect stuff because i think it looks cool and dont let myself dwell#on how it might 'fit' with my image. but i cant help feeling bad doing it to my own characters bc it feels like im making them too one#dimensional. despite knowing that theyre not real and design alone doesnt reflect depth i cant help feeling like its wrong#despite that i love seeing motifs because it feels like it reflects the characters soul and paradoxically gives them depth. it makes them#interesting to look at too and honestly its pretty fun combining things that fall under a similar category when designing#i struggle find a balance between those two things#actually this reminds me of noelles christmas theme.. i dont remember her saying anything abt liking christmas despite a lot of#her design and character tying back to it. it makes me wonder if she would have feelings about that or doesnt think abt it too hard#or if its like a matching family shirts situation and shes just going along with it??#maybe i should just do whatever i want with my character designs since theyre not real and im thinking abt it too hard#although. this probably has something to do with deep seated identity issues huh#yapping#oc talk#oc
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4lph4kidz · 2 months
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Homestuck reads to me like the work of someone who is very disillusioned with the dominant (white, capitalist, patriarchal) ideology of USAmerican society, but also doesn't necessarily have any better ideas on what to do about it
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bajablats · 10 months
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im doing the lords work here
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artheresy · 5 months
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Yingxing Appreciation 🎉🎉
hi, hello, it's Yingxing appreciation time and I'm dragging you into it bc he is my baby and I need more ppl to talk about him
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Y'know I see a lot of people like in awe and hyping up DF and just giving him tons of appreciation while analyzing him specifically as an individual which is all so so valid, DF is amazing and very intriguing as a character and I love him sm, but I sadly don't see the same for Yingxing despite him I think also being so interesting. I also see him more so dismissed in the "literally God and some guy" kind of fashion sometimes
So I'm here to rant just a little bit about Yingxing, why I love him, why he's epic and why he ruins my day every single time I think about him! This is for any of my fellow Yingxing lovers who are also starved of any content of him
Firstly, this man is a genuine genius, like lest we forget this is from Baiheng's travelogue in which she met a young Yingxing who was still a child by this point.
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He was a young boy but had already become a craftsman, a sign of his ability to learn exceedingly quick under Huaiyans tutelage. And his ability to work and progress incredible fast continues into his time as a young man on the Luofu.
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We know he arrived probably somewhere around 18-21 (in my personal estimate) and by the time he saw Jingliu again (which itself was likely early into his stay on the Luofu given HCQ ages and timing), he had already impressed the Master Craftsmen of the Luofu's Artisanship Commission and earned himself a title.
There are also multiple things in game that emphasize his achievements and creations he crafted, some offhandedly mentioned in a readable or item while others are emphasized with importance.
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Casually mentioned in the Discarded Ingenium Parts is his feat in the Great Trial of the Furnace (perhaps that trial is for gaining the furnace master title? Once again signifying an earlier achievement in his legacy) where it took him only a day and night to create a whole mechanical lion that moved and looked just like a real live lion from a bunch of defective parts and waste.
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More recently in 1.5, they released a readable, the Ten-Lords Criminal Directory, which mentions an imprisonment method designed by Yingxing that keeps “Mirage” in a perpetual state trapped within a hallucination of their own making. Utilizing it’s own powers in order to keep it imprisoned. Something that with proper maintenance seems to have lasted for around 700 years so far.
And of course, how can we forget his most famous creations
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The beautifully crafted weapons of the High Cloud Quintet, from Jingliu’s incredibly heavy sword remarked as being as heavy as three thousand catties, to Dan Feng’s Cloud Piercer with the ability to even cut through dragon scales, and the Devastator Glaive as well as Baiheng’s recurve bow. Each impressive in their own ways and seemingly crafted pretty early as well into his time on the Luofu with the HCQ given the distinction of Jing Yuan who (even if he likely was more a teen than a boy) still wasn’t an exact adult yet. So once again, let me emphasize this man’s skill here. With how many things he managed to do so so early into his time on the Luofu. A genius craftsman who deserved all of the praise he had garnered with his works.
Additionally, I know they keep harping about “ugh arrogant craftsman, ugh he’s so full of himself” but every single time we’ve seen his personality, he just seems like a genuine joy to be around. Bright, charismatic, sure he’s cocky but he also gives the impression of being incredibly fun and a bit silly if you ask me.
His behavior as mirrored by the mirage echo in Scalegorge Waterscape is distinctly playful even in what might be a more tense situation, lightly bantering with Dan Feng and even chuckling in certain languages.
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In Jingliu’s character stories, it even furthers this bright, playful attitude he gives off with his distinct cheekiness shining through especially with that “toothy grin” of his. And if you listen to Jingliu’s (at least her English) voice lines during Clouds Leave No Trace when she speaks about Yingxing before getting into his transformation, there is a distinct fondness or amusement in her voice as she speaks of him especially that cocky nature of his despite her distaste for it at first.
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While Baiheng is hailed as this kind figure in the High Cloud Quintet, perhaps their sun even casting light upon them, it doesn’t seem too far off to say Yingxing was a shining star among them in his own right. His easy going nature with them bringing about a bubbly playfulness similar to Baiheng given their closeness from when he was young. I could go into way more especially in regards to the casualness at which Yingxing seems to speak and treat others allowing for a more equal formation of relationships especially with Dan Feng but I’m saving that for another rant.
And all of this about him especially how expressive he seems at certain points he’s been mentioned, really just makes me so incredibly sad when thinking about Blade now. How severely separated he is from this identity. A division that exists from not only his death but from the way his mental state has been severely warped from his time with Jingliu and being affected afterwards by the mara.
The sheer dehumanization and lack of a personal identity in place of seeing himself as a solely a weapon when put next to Yingxing, with such a clear bold individual identity, really makes the transformation of one into the other all the more jarring and tragic. Especially with the emphasis on how Yingxing hated the abominations of Abundance only to become one himself, something that is still implied to have not been by his own hand. Blade is an immensely tragic character, but that tragedy only holds weight because of the life and identity Yingxing had. It is only with Yingxing’s light which shined despite the circumstances of his life that his descent into darkness hits harder, and it makes me so sad that I haven’t found many others talking or expanding upon this despite my searches because he really is such a well written character with so many details in his story that are both interesting and utterly heartbreaking.
And additionally, I want to say that I think there is a lost potential in examining the Xianzhou through Yingxing. Specifically in the way he is treated as a short life species. We know how the relationship between the Vidyadhara and the Natives, especially as it’s changed after Dan Feng, but there is a very interesting relationship to be explored between the Xianzhou and the Short Life Species the end up there, especially through Yingxing’s relationship to the different Artisans guilds whether on the Luofu or the Zhuming.
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In the end, it becomes another sad element to Yingxing’s story. Yingxing managed to change his attitude regarding how the Zhuming masters treated him and even grew more of a confidence, but even in the Luofu's Artisanship Commission, he can never truly get as far as he deserves. Just as Jingliu says
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Even with his work impressing the master craftsmen of the Luofu, even after more than showing his skill and earning the title of Furnace Master for that skill, he still would be denied higher positions and could only prove his true worth by the High Cloud Quintet.
And just let me say it again, him being a short life species allows for such an interesting examination of the world and people around him based upon that. While we don't know exactly how they met, we do know that Yingxing was Huaiyan's personal disciple and the only one he mentions of the celestial masters to treat him with respect and believe in his capabilities despite knowing he's a short life species. Through his treatment of Yingxing, we learn quite a bit about him. Through Baiheng's treatment of him as well, we learn a lot about her, more than anywhere else.
He's just UGH I need more exploration from Yingxing's perspective, the lack of it feels as if I'm being starved. He's so interesting, he's so fun, he's incredibly tragic, and he makes me cry every single time he crosses my mind. Please do yourselves a favor and think more about his character so you'll end up as sad about him as me. Or don't maybe. I dunno. All I know for sure is that you absolutely need to read Views of the Universe From a Starskiff: The Zhuming if you haven't. Anyways bye, thanks for listening to this rant, I gotta go cry over him.
Peep the tags also for a rant about my own characterization of YX if you wish to witness my insanity
#Let me rant about my own personal characterization of Yingxing based on this and its OVER#It's OVER#Firsy off We need to acknowledge before we get into anything that YX is severely traumatized#Before becoming a teen (we don't know exactly how long he was at the Zhuming before he met BH so he could have been p young)#He had already lost his entirely family in an incredibly brutal fashion to the Borisin#His home planet was conquered destroyed and turned into a weapons nursery for the Borisin#And he ended up somehow on the Zhuming (it's my hc that Huaiyan himself found him but we don't know the canon details)#And on top of that seemingly only Huaiyan his master was kind to him as the rest of the celestial masters on Zhuming degraded him for being#A shortlife species to the point he A CHILD tells BH he doesn't know if he'll live to see his parents avenged#So yeah he's gone through some shit#And we know his arrogance begins after Baiheng says kind words to him but ngl I don't think he switched up so fast from a few kind gestures#I think that arrogance of his begins as a coping method inspired by her especially given the exaggerated nature of it as jingliu describes#When he was a child#Kind of a fake it til you make it#And by the time he ends up on the Luofu I think it's half genuine confident half fake it til you make it#Specifically in that he does really see the people around him as equals no matter their status or species including someone like HE IL#And in that he's probably pretty judgemental all things considered#But I think the more exaggerated parts especially his outward declarations are played up a bit by him to give off a certain facade or image#In order to garner respect when paired with his actual genuine skill and talent#That's just a reduced summary of my characterization of him tho with his relationship to his confidence I have more to say but#ALSO YINGXING WITH SURVIVORS GUILT#WHERE IS MY YX WITH SURVIVORS GUILT CONTENT *bangs my fist against the floor*#That 100% plays into my personal characterization of his relationship with his confidence#Also I view YX as being AuDHD for so many reasons but esp with what we know in canon of his obsession with crafting and his#Overworking himself tendencies regarding it#Yingxing#Hsr blade#Hsr#Honkai star rail#Don't let me mention how this affects his relationships I'll be even more annoying than I already am
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goldensunset · 7 months
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surprise art attack!!! here’s @deityofhearts ‘s cashmere, everyone’s favorite whimsical tiefling
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